#i can improvise entire monologues for him IN CHARACTER

[cosmicatta]

One Piece Novel: Law — a short analysis

So, after a long time trying to get my hands on the Law light novel, I was finally able to read it recently! And, because I'm an obnoxiously intense person who can't just be normal about things, I found myself taking notes about everything I judged interesting.

And I thought I could share! So here's a mostly improvised essay about the Law novel, how it portrays Law and what it reveals about him as a character.

Some notes before I start:

The edition I've read of this novel is the official Spanish translation by Planeta. When quoting and mentioning numbered pages, I'm referencing that edition.

I originally posted this on Twitter as a thread! If it sounds familiar, that might be why.

For those who haven't read the novel and might want to: be mindful of some trigger warnings, including gruesome medical descriptions, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse, and violence in general (I won't be touching on these subjects here though).

These are just my personal impressions, I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should interpret the novel or Law's character. I'm just doing this for fun!

The story takes place right after Cora dies, following young Law's journey as he makes it to Swallow Island and desperately tries to survive. There, he will meet Bepo, Penguin and Shachi, as well as Wolf, a novel-exclusive character that welcomes Law and the boys into his home as a family.

Overall, it's a very short read, agile and straightforward. The style is very juvenile, but that was to be expected, and I'd say it does a pretty good job at capturing the feeling of watching a One Piece episode. The novel does kinda feel like a mini arc.

I'm unsure if light novels can be considered 100% canon in general, but since the contents don't contradict anything from what we've already seen in the manga/anime, I'm going to assume we can at least take the events described in this one as canon.

But I'll leave the plot aside a little bit to focus more on Law's psyche, analyzing everything in the novel as material that helps us further understand him.

The entire book (save from a few specific passages) is written from Law's point of view and in first person, so it offers a more in-depth look at his way of thinking, motivations and ideals.

What I find most interesting in this sense is that the whole story is very centered around Law's kindness. Though he does admit several times that he had wanted to see the world burn when he was under Doflamingo's care (as we already know from the source material), the novel makes it very obvious that Law's true nature is compassionate. His inner voice even explicitly states that he enjoys helping and making others happy. (Quotes roughly translated from Spanish):

P. 27: "And I felt very comfortable collaborating with the task of helping others."

P. 92: "Knowing that I was going to free a person from their pain [...] gave me a joy I had never experienced before."

P. 136: "Just imagining the surprised faces of the Old Man, Bepo and the others brought a smile to my face" [when planning on getting fresh fish for dinner as a surprise].

And, despite living under Wolf's motto of "give to take," Law never expects anything in return for any of his good actions. In fact, he gets furious at Wolf himself when, after saving his life, the old man insists on giving Law anything he demands as compensation.

P. 120: "I didn't save you because I wanted a reward!" [...] They [Bepo, Shachi and Penguin] burst into tears of happiness when they realized that you had survived. That's more than enough for me! [...]" I won't let you belittle their tears!"

But even then, Law keeps arguing that he only saved Wolf "on a whim," much like he would say years later when asked why he chose to save Luffy's life. This is a common theme throughout the whole book (which is also pretty obvious in the manga)—Law doesn't recognize his own kindness.

It's not modesty or shyness, his inner monologue makes it very clear that he doesn't see himself as good-natured, and is often confused at his own motivations.

In their first meeting, when Bepo asks him why he is so nice to him, Law doesn't know what to answer; and after that, when Law finds himself wondering why he's trying so hard to save Shachi and Penguin despite their past history, he blames it all on "doctor's pride."

P. 48: "I wasn't even a good person."

Still, regardless of what Law might think of himself, living in Swallow Island seems to be making him progressively gentler. He was wary and hostile towards Wolf at first, but eventually lets himself trust people again, trying to honor Cora's memory and what he taught Law.

In Swallow Island he builds his new found family little by little, though never letting go of Cora and what he meant to Law.

P. 39: "Cora and I were family, that's what I felt at heart, I had no doubts. We had loved each other without saying it out loud [...] Would I feel the same for the Old Man and Bepo eventually?"

Slowly, he starts finding comfort and joy in community. He lets himself be carefree around his new friends, treating them with open affection, laughing and being surprisingly enthusiastic (although he quickly starts taking his role as a leader very seriously, and sometimes avoids showing weakness around them so as not to worry them.)

Law even gets to become an active part of life in Pleasure Town, where he and the other boys are cherished after 3 years living and working there. He's comfortable with his role in the community and appreciates the people in town. His sense of duty towards them shines especially when the pirates arrive to attack the town.

Again, this contrasts with how Law sees himself even in the manga/anime, where he insists that he acts mostly out of selfishness and only seeking his own benefit (or, in the best of cases "on a whim.")

But the truth is that Law's decisions are almost always related to other people's desires.

In this sense, the concept of guilt is also key to understand Law's motivations and his relationship with the world as a whole. This is especially obvious when it comes to Cora—Law even briefly wishes that they had never met, so that Cora would still be alive (p. 128-129.)

In a way, guilt is what moves Law forward, and what slowly starts transforming into a thirst for revenge, into rage and hatred towards Doflamingo and possibly towards himself too. It's a kind of tragic guilt born out of love.

His love for Cora still haunts him, his last wish for Law is the big enigma that he tries to solve during his 3 years in Swallow Island: be free. What is freedom to Law? How can he fulfill Cora's request? This is the question that gives meaning to the novel.

We know that Law wouldn't feel free until finally taking down Doflamingo and avenging Cora's death many years later, but he hasn't reached that point of determination in the novel yet. Maybe that's what gives the narration that hopeful and optimistic tone, with a young Law that's still finding himself, experiencing wonder in loving again, and learning what it means for him to be true to his values. It's the start of an adventure, and its core theme is love.

The ending illustrates this very well; I especially like the moment where Law names the crew as they're setting sail:

P. 243: "Cora's love that he showed me, Wolf's affection, the trust I had in my companions. One word embodied it all: Heart."

It is love that gives Law a reason to keep going. And I'm so glad that the novel doesn't shy away from this fact and isn't afraid of sounding "sappy" or "corny," because I do believe emotion is a very important part of Law's character.

The epilogue closes with a very interesting quote in the last page:

"You hear that, Cora? This is my... This is our pirate crew."

It is unclear if by "our" he is referring to himself and Cora, as if dedicating this new beginning to him, or if he means him and his crew. I'd personally like to think he means it both ways. But in any case, it's interesting that he openly shares the honor of "owning" his crew with someone else. He is the captain, but not the owner. It's another little way in which his generosity is evidenced.

Overall, it was a very enjoyable read, and it left me wanting more. Obviously, it's not a literature masterpiece, but it gives a lot of interesting material for character analysis, which is super fun.

Finally, here’s a few fun facts for those who can’t/don’t want to read the novel but enjoy the little trivia:

The Polar Tang was built and designed by Wolf.

Law’s first tattoo was "DEATH," and he got it at a local tattoo shop in Pleasure Town at around 15 years old.

Shachi and Penguin are childhood friends and likely met through their parents.

Shachi had always wanted to be a hair stylist.

Law is bad at cooking.

Both Shachi and Penguin are good at cooking, especially Penguin, who worked as a waiter in Pleasure Town.

The Hearts’ jolly roger was collectively designed by Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin days before leaving Swallow Island.

Law decided the name of their crew upon setting sail for the first time.

And I think that's all! ♥ I hope my rambling was enjoyable at least!

Edit: I've now posted an analysis of the Ace novels too!

[xerith-42]

Why Blaze is MyStreet's Most Failed Character

Blame the big bang discord for this post, I wasn't gonna write it until those fucks encouraged me.

Anyways here's an entire essay about why Blaze is the most wasted character in the entirety of MyStreet and I will literally fight Jessica and Jason Bravura with my bare hands.

To get us started on our harrowing tale of wasted potential and the best improviser Jessica ever hired, we need to go back a little. Back to Phoenix Drop High Season 2. We won't stay here long, I promise, I hate it more than you can possibly know. But the single saving grace of this absolute mess of a season is ya boi, Blaze. Introduced in the 18th episode of the season, airing on April 12, 2017, with the airing of Phoenix Drop High Season 2 Episode 18, Blaze was a character who started his brief tenure series with a bang!

Literally dude showed up and the first thing he ever did on screen as a character in a piece of media we can engage with is throw someone out of a window. We do not know this mans name yet and he's already left a lasting impression. Sure throwing people out of a window is common in werewolf culture, which I don't care what you say that's objectively funny, but it is bold to start a characters entire introduction with that. Blaze comes out of the gate swinging before he's said a single line.

And then after introducing himself he throws a dead bird at Aphmau to show off his hunting skills?? Okay so he's just that fucking weird and overly enthusiastic about things I guess! That's amazing! MyStreet always shines when it just lets it's characters be fucking weird without making a big deal out of it or talking them down for it. Dottie even says that it's romantic which is again just a great showing of Blaze's enthusiasm and lack of what might appear to be common social decorum because of said enthusiasm.

This is all punctuated and brought to a hilarious breaking point when Blaze's final showing of why he should be the new top dog at his school is when the crazy mother fucker rips his shirt off to literally flex about how he's one of the hottest guys in the school. And I'm going to be real with you, given Blaze's later characterization as a himbo, I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually care about this. He just says it because he thinks it'll boost his chances. Blaze is later shown to be a character willing to throw away his reputation for the things he cares about, but he does get a rather sincere moment with Aphmau, even if she's blushing the entire time.

It shows that Blaze is not only physically affectionate, but also weirdly comfortable with his shirt off. Because this is purely objective character analysis I will not be shoving my Blaze is autistic and has sensory problems with things touching his chest propaganda down your throats, but now that I've mentioned it once you won't stop thinking about it when this comes up.

The show admittedly fumbles the bag a little by having Blaze say in his internal monologue that he thinks Aphmau is cute and acts kind of like a tsundere, but this is Jesson writing so there's always bound to be a bit of That Shit. But in spite of that, Blaze is a character who has an instant impression that leaves a lot of room for comedy potential, and just good ol' fashion silliness. And while the werewolf plot of Season 2 is... bad, Blaze and the Werewolf Pups are stand out characters in the sense that their characterization leaves a lot of potential if they're in a different, better written story.

And even if the arc is bad, Blaze still is a quality part of it. His shallow but hilarious initial characterization gets built on in some really solid ways. Namely in how he acts as a force for good in Aphmau's life even if she doesn't realize or give him permission to do it. This entire season is about how the different men in Aphmau's life handle helping her in a crisis, and funnily enough, in a season centered around Aaron literally overthrowing Aphmau's new love interest, Blaze is the one who was consistently doing what was best for Aphmau.

Aaron fumbles the ball more than a few times, Ein is shown to be actively malicious, and Kai gets hate crimed. But Blaze, who's barely even a contender in this ship war, is constantly working to actually make things better while everyone else is pulling Aphmau away from what actively matters about her position. While Ein is manipulating her and Aaron is trying to prove that, Blaze throws caution to the wind and just does what he thinks is best to restore order.

But more important than that end conclusion is his true goal of standing up for Daniel. A wolf it is established he barely knew before this year, that Blaze is willing to throw his reputation and standing in a bull shit hierarchy because he's seeing how this hierarchy is hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Blaze is the one who is baring his fangs and willing to throw hands when Daniel cowers away from bullies. By the end of the season Blaze has been given adequate screen time to not only show off his fun and maybe a tad out of touch side, but he's been given a real level of sincerity that's tied into the things he's enthusiastic about. He loves being a werewolf, and he extends that love to all the werewolves around him, until they start being dicks to other werewolves who are literally just sitting there.

At the center of Blaze is that inherent goofiness though. He's always cracking jokes, or the joke when he's on screen, and in a series that was originally pitched as a light hearted slice of life comedy in contrast to MCD's general misery, that sort of character is needed to keep the tone. Such is show in episode 22 when Blaze is reading a book on the Scientific Method to just learn more about science, but realizes the book is upside down.

But he actually understood it enough to properly apply the scientific method to this situation?? Iconic. It's played off as a joke of Blaze exploiting a loophole to get out of class, but even that's pretty smart honestly. Blaze may be a dumb ass but he's always willing to cheat an unfair system.

Episode 22 is basically a Blaze centric episode, which I did not expect, but now that I'm rewatching it for this post it might be the reason I love this character so dearly. It's not only the episode where Blaze manages to learn the Scientific Method upside down, but also stands up for Daniel in a really substantial way. Blaze is loud, enthusiastic, and strong, all traits that are celebrated by werewolf culture, and whether he realizes it or not, him just being around Daniel can do a lot to get bullies to back off. Everyone has seen Blaze toss a mother fucker through a window, they do not want to be on the receiving end of that.

He spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out what Ein's deal is when he hears that Ein went behind Aphmau's back on werewolf matters, landing Daniel in this situation. He hears Ein actively plotting against Daniel, but that is normal werewolf behavior. He concludes that he'll keep an eye on Ein. And this through line of "normal werewolf behavior" informs a lot of Blaze's decisions once he comes to the conclusion that Ein sucks and deserves to be undermined. He resorts to letting his actions speak louder than words and goes to violence after realizing that the wolves aren't listening to reason, they're listening to instinct.

He fights fire with fire, and while Aphmau might not approve, it's more effective than her soft rhetoric has been in getting people to be less of jackasses. This eventually lands him in hot water where he steps in for Daniel after Ein tries to get his goons to beat him up, and even if Blaze is fighting in a five v one, he still goes down swinging. And I'll say it, I think it's sweet that he calls Aaron after this happens. While it's clearly meant to be a thing of Blaze calling the last alpha because he's probably the only person who anyone will listen to, there's an important detail I think is easily overlooked.

He has Aaron's number.

He says he got it from the werewolf pups, but that means that Blaze went out of his way to make sure he could contact Aaron. He's the reason that Aaron even realizes Ein is playing all of them. Blaze is the catalyst for his undoing because unlike Aaron who's nearly imprisoned, heartbroken, and been hesitant to act in the plot as a result, Blaze doesn't actually care that much if Aphmau currently likes him because he's more worried about her physical and mental well being than whether she wants to kiss him or someone else.

How many Aphmau love interests can say that?

Can any of them say that?

Blaze can.

Blaze actually consistently shows a level of selflessness that's unfitting of how I've seen some people characterize him. He gives up his real chance to be Alpha because Daniel is so compassionate and earnest and genuinely deserves it. Blaze wants to believe in a future lead by people like Daniel and Aphmau where he might not have to keep fighting people to keep things sane. Blaze constantly gives up his pride, his power, his safety just to make sure that his friends are taken care of, or to effect real change in a school he's about to leave.

It wouldn't be long after Phoenix Drop High Season 2 ended that Blaze would make his debut in the main series My Street in the second episode of Season 5, airing only a few days after the end of Phoenix Drop High Season 2. Just like before he really shows up with a bang, literally throwing himself through the air between Lucinda and Kim just to catch a frisbee because Blaze is the most extra mother fucker ever, and then immediately proceeds to flirt with them. Iconic as ever. Short but sweet.

It's in episode 3 that it's revealed that Blaze and the werewolf pups kept Aaron company during his rehabilitation year. But from the way it's worded it sounds like Blaze was called in before anyone else by Aaron's parents. Based on the way they talked and actively planned together before, I wouldn't be surprised if Blaze was the first person who came to his mind when Aaron thought of a werewolf friend.

I think Aaron reached out to Blaze when he needed it.

And even though I've previously stated that I don't think Aaron's parents initially liked Blaze because by this era he's old enough to fully take on his persona as the cool stoner friend who's also a little insane in the most charming way possible, he has a good impact on Aaron. Aaron likes being around him, and maybe they smoke weed to help Aaron relieve some of the lasting pain when no one's looking.

Regardless of his methods, Blaze does an ultimate good in Aaron's life as a result of being there for him when he needed it. So much so that he was invited out to Starlight and is shown to be one of Aaron's main pillars of support. We are given scarcely little of this actual friendship, which is where the problem lies. While before Blaze was a surprisingly engaging part of an other wise terrible story, at least in season 5 the story is a lot slower and character focused. And Blaze can work in these moments, we saw him have real moments of sincerity before.

He gets some of it, but the issue is that Blaze isn't allowed to be alone anymore. The cast of MyStreet is huge, and Blaze is a character who is making his second major appearance, while some characters in the cast have been present since literally episode one. It's hard to justify giving him solo screen time when he's been in the series for such little time and we barely have enough time for certain significant characters to really have arcs (Lucinda). Most of Blaze's scenes are scenes with at least four other characters on screen, he's never allowed screen time without at least two other werewolf characters attached to him.

I don't object to Blaze hanging out with his friends, or even making new ones though out the season but... Would it kill the writers to let him have a scene with Aaron? Like. A single scene. Where it's just Blaze and Aaron. I mean just Blaze and Aaron without Aphmau there. They've done this before. They did it in the season Blaze showed up in. Just one scene where the two of them get to talk about literally anything would do so much. Even if they talk about Aphmau, it's better than nothing. It would strengthen both of their characters so much to be able to get a scene where they talk to each other not as conspirators who kinda know each other, but as real friends supporting one another.

Show that even though Blaze said Daniel was more compassionate than he was, Blaze still is a compassionate and even empathetic person. Show why Aaron was grateful to have him during his recovery. They have those scenes of Aaron at physical therapy, right? Why not have Blaze take him one time and just show how they interact then? The possibilities with this unrealized idea are endless, and that's genuinely upsetting. Opportunities like this present themselves every time Blaze makes an appearance, they even tease me by giving me scenes where Aaron is alone with a character he has little to no connection with, Maria.

Maria was a foil for Aphmau. And Ein was a foil for Aaron. And Blaze was a foil for Ein. There is no reason for Maria to really have a rapor that matters with Aaron. He doesn't really know her that well, she's clearly a friend by association, and it seems like an odd thing to focus on when Blaze is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE.

Why won't they let Blaze talk to Aaron? It's so infuriating. The closest we get is in episode 7 when Blaze attempts to calm down Aaron, but he's shown to be ineffective and it comes down to, of course, Aphmau being the one to talk him down. I swear to Hatsune the writers are making fun of me at this point. They're going "Oooooh you want Blaze to be an actually helpful and supportive figure in Aaron's life soooo bad." AND I DO!

I'm serious when I say the show is teasing me. I've been skimming through Season 5 and only watching the episodes when Blaze is on screen, and so far he has never been in a scene with less than 4 people in it. Never. And even in scenes where he gets to be at least a focal point, he's always limited because he has to share that moment in the spotlight with FOUR OTHER CHARACTERS.

Episode 14 is a great example of this. When the werewolf gang gets told they aren't allowed to eat at a restaurant because they're werewolves, Blaze makes it abundantly obvious that he's put up with this before and really doesn't feel like being hate crimed on his vacation. And he knows that actions speak louder than words and therefore joins Maria in saying they should "teach this establishment a lesson." Personally I think Blaze would've just thrown the manager through a window only to realize it's an outdoor establishment and throw him into the ocean. Which would be objectively funny and deserved because that owner was being cringe and racist.

I love the conversation that happens because it shows the unique way that Aaron sees things from passing as a human for most of his life. This has never happened, but he knows that further acts of violence as a result will only make it happen again. This is a great scene for Aaron. Not really good for Blaze, and the next scene makes him worse. I love the detail that Blaze is an instinctual person more than a planner, but it feels wrong that he doesn't even let Aaron consider planning. I know he wants Aaron to be more spontaneous but he should have more awareness of his friend and his habits and be able to accommodate it, not talk over it.

But it's Jesson, so misunderstanding even their simplest character is par for the course. At least episode 15 gives me Garroth and Blaze talking in the background, and I'm starved for good Blaze content, so I was eating this shit up. The problem with watching MyStreet this way is that Blaze... Just doesn't get a lot of moments... At all. There are some episodes where he doesn't even speak at all, and when he does get to talk in episodes, he gets a few lines in one giant ensemble scene.

I don't object to a show having an ensemble cast, or even a lot of characters with a few central ones, but it really is a detriment to the show that Aaron never gets a scene alone with any werewolf he isn't related to. Nana gets to talk to Blaze when she's having a crisis of her relationship history and experience, but it's just so Blaze can tell her the opposite of what she wants to hear. It's not a scene that feels like it was written for Blaze, because it wasn't. It was written for Nana.

And before some jack ass says it "Blaze is a side character he's not supposed to get a lot of focus" and I'm not asking for a lot. I watched every scene he's in in PDH to prove that it works

BECAUSE IT DID.

Blaze showed up officially in episode 18 out of 30, and he wasn't in every episode after his introduction. But the writers gave him a solid introduction, one good episode that spent most of its run time with him, and really good moments throughout the rest of his time in the series. All I'm asking is that Season 5 at least give me one of those things. Either a good episode where he and his relationship with Aaron is brought into focus, even if it's used as a vector to study Aaron's character, or just more sincere moments for him.

It feels like Blaze is a joke character now when he previously made it very clear he's far more than that.

And then they just forget about him. During the first part of the 3 part finale Blaze is there. He's the one who got everyone to gather at the docks because an mf wants to eat some scrumptious food. But when Aaron sees Ein and starts freaking out, Blaze is literally just not in the scene. At all. Not even as like a throwaway of someone who could've helped but failed, he just is not in the scene at all. It legitimately feels like the writers forgot about him entirely.

Blaze the minute the plot shows up:

He's there after Garroth gets turned and was apparently at Garroth's bedside trying to calm him down which I will be thinking about. A lot. I'll be thinking about how we deserved to see or at least hear some of it, about how the writers continue to tease me with an interesting scene that involves my favorite little fucker, about how heartbreaking it would have been to see Blaze and Melissa try to calm Garroth only for him to scream in pain and try to push them away only to reveal that Zane and Nana are able to hear the entire ordeal downstairs and Zane is panicking when he hears his brother screaming in pain. Just thinking about what we could've had if the writers actually cared about any of these characters.

And then after that he dies.

I'm not watching any of When Angels Fall because I know what's good for my health. I know what happens in Season 6 Episode 9 and that's all I need to know. It doesn't matter if the writers may have finally given Blaze an emotional scene, it doesn't matter if they finally gave him even a hint of character development, it doesn't matter if he made a connection in a real way. Because no matter what he did the result is the same. No matter what quality the writers might've pulled out of their ass, it would ultimately be in service of one end. From the start of this season these writers knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to up the stakes and add more drama to the show, and they wanted to do it by killing Blaze.

And I think I know why.

This is 100% a limited view, but I was on Aphmau Instagram at the time that this season was airing. And I ran a Blaze fan account. I talked to a lot of MyStreet fans during this time and I was constantly upset and disappointed that people didn't understand Blaze's character, or just didn't appreciate it as much as I do. Most people liked Blaze on a very surface level, or because he was attached to another character they liked. I found very few people who genuinely cared about him as an individual, probably because Blaze stopped getting scenes alone by the end of PDH, and because the Aphmau fandom (at the time) had more of a focus on shipping than character work and quality. Blaze was easily shippable with a number of characters, canonically shipped with Dottie a little, and had enough characterization that people cared about him, but not enough to get a large dedicated fanbase.

He was the perfect one to kill.

Enough people liked him because he was hard to hate, he was stapled onto Aaron's character with little regard for a story of his own, and his death could be eventually inconsequential. And it was! Blaze's method of dying is so bad it makes me physically angry!

I know the whole story for the last few seasons has been all about Forever Potions and turning people against each other, but just mind controlling Blaze and having him die while under mind control is such such a missed opportunity. There's been a disappointing lack of proper Aaron and Blaze friendship content, but they could have made up for it in this scene with just a few tweaks. Just have Blaze not be mind controlled at the end. He can still go on that rant about Aaron being the cause of all the bad that's happened, but then the words start to become... disjointed. Jilted. As if Blaze is struggling to say them because he knows that they're wrong. Aaron's his friend, there's no way he'd say that about him.

Have it break.

Have him look at his friend in a worse state than he's ever been in, and instead of approaching him with intent to harm, it's intent to heal. A final attempt at getting through to Aaron. And like the times before, it doesn't work. Aaron's angrier than ever and he isn't seeing or thinking straight thanks to Ein's bull shit. All he can see is an enemy in his way. Maybe he sees Blaze's eyes but Blaze's green eye is still Emerald Green, even if the control broke for a moment. Whatever reason, Aaron still attacks.

He doesn't realize that Blaze wasn't trying to hurt him until it's too late. Aaron's anger already ruined a friend's life, it already pulled all of them into the hell they're in, and now it's killed one of his best friends.

ONE CHANGE. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK. ONE SINGLE CHANGE TO MAKE BLAZE'S DEATH ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING.

Ideally I'd like it Blaze just didn't die at all, least of all before the finale, but if you're going to kill him off unceremoniously at least make it have some emotional weight. You've been neglecting him for an entire season and now you just kill him off? Just like that? Oh he gets to show up in heaven? How nice. Is it a scene where he gets to express regrets, remorse, or even give any insight into his feelings?

Of course it fucking isn't! Are you kidding me, that's not even close to what happens. I said i wouldn't watch When Angels Fall but

I LIED!!

I watched Blaze's death scene and his scene in heaven to make sure I knew well and good how badly they failed to kill off my favorite character! And man, the scene in heaven is just the worst! Blaze does a genuinely kind thing for Aphmau and decides to stay with her when she's alone because he doesn't want her to hurt. He saw how much pain Aaron was in without her. He just wants to fucking help her.

But Aphmau's too self absorbed to realize that and instead goes on a whole rant about how she always needs other people to take care of or protect her and how everyone else would be better off yadda yadda. What she doesn't realize and what Blaze eventually gets to tell her is that people were around her and took care of her because they just wanted to. Because she was nice to be around. And they never expected anything else, and never saw her as a burden.

And that's actually a really nice moment. Sort of. There's two major problems. First, Blaze gets cut off from telling Aphmau this at first because Irene has to go on a whole rant about Aphmau being selfish. And she is right in everything that she says, but it feels weird for Irene, who literally doesn't know her, to be making this judgement. This scene should have been Irene observing a conversation between Blaze and Aphmau were Blaze just tries to make her feel better.

And that would hopefully solve problem number two. Which is that what Blaze says is very genuine and heartfelt, but severely handicapped by the fact that he and Aphmau were only friends for a short period of time in High School, and an equally short period of time within the last few months. What Blaze says about why he likes being around her is true, but it would have a lot more weight if there was a chance for Blaze to have been around her as a friend more.

Fuck it, if you need Blaze to be on screen with at least two other characters, why was there never a scene of Blaze, Aaron and Aphmau just talking? Would a single scene of that fucking killed you? Just one scene would have made their friendships a lot more solid and therefore heartbreaking to lose when it gets torn apart.

Third problem, the scene ends with a focus on Irene. Blaze's words echo in her ears, and remind her of her friends. And I like that idea because I'm an absolute sucker for MCD, but it takes the scene away from the focus. This should be a scene about one of Aphmau's friends encouraging her to not give up even if it all seems lost. At least don't let her death be in vain by saying such awful things about her friends while they may be grieving. But Irene is brought into focus again because the show isn't about Blaze, or Aphmau apparently, I guess her Aphmau Main Character Powers overrides Aphmau's. She has more experience with them.

Blaze and Aphmau's very heartfelt dialogue is brought down by the fact that these two characters lives didn't intersect very directly out of high school. Through the course of Season 5 I never got the idea that Blaze was Aphmau's friend. Not to say they weren't friendly, I think Blaze adored her just as much as he did in high school, but as a viewer I was never shown that they cared particularly for one another. I believe that Blaze sincerely cared about her even after all this time, but that's not because of anything the writers did with him in these seasons. It's just because that's the kind of person Blaze is.

But their friendship not being strong really weakens the scene. This is a scene that I know for a fact worked as intended when I watched it as it was coming out. I was an overemotional mess of a 15 year old who hated how this series was going but kept watching it because it was almost over and I might as well get it done with. It pulled on my heartstrings and they sang and I cried. I cried a lot. This scene made me incredibly emotional, and it still got to me as an adult, but the devil is in the details.

Blaze and his arc might work on the surface. They work if you don't pay that close of attention to it. They work if you care more about the characters he's constantly around more than Blaze. And when I first watched Seasons 5&6, I still had a very deep attachment to a lot of these characters, especially Melissa, who he shares a lot of scenes with. So I felt... satisfied? I would've liked more, but I probably wouldn't have complained about what I got (his death scene not withstanding I always thought that was bad).

My my, how the times have changed.

If it wasn't obvious from the four thousand or so words you just read, Blaze is a rather unique case of these writers failing as writers. A rather unique case where the perfect character to fix a lot of problems with their show practically jumped up in the air waving his arms around and they still brushed past him to focus on a predetermined story he was shoved into. I don't think the writers ever really had a plan for where Blaze would go or what he would do.

A lot of Blaze's best character moments are when he isn't being written by Jesson. The reason I love the minigames so much is because there, Blaze's incredibly talented voice actor Jason Lord is actually really funny and pretty good at improv. Obviously some bits of the mini games are scripted, but a lot of them are just seeing how much voice actors can get into their characters, which he's fantastic at. A lot of Blaze's funniest moments come from this too, which is great when the writers turn him into a comedy character but the characters voice actor is funnier than they both are and is only a funny character when they don't have direct control of him. Lord is able to bring life to a character who may have been lacking it due to the simultaneously focused and unfocused way the series was written.

Blaze is proof of what happens when writers don't bother to develop their characters beyond the outline. The draft notes for PDH Season 2 said "there's going to be a wolf character who tries to become Alpha and instead stands up for Daniel when he's bullied." and then Blaze was born. The writers gave him some characterization as a treat to make the story work better, and then were done with it then and there. We fleshed him out enough, good character, time to put him in season 5 so people stop criticizing us for not giving Aaron enough friends.

But the problem wasn't a lack of quantity in friends, it was a lack of quality. It was a lack of scenes that let Aaron interact with other characters without Aphmau present. It was a lack of characters to point to that were real emotional connections Aaron had that weren't his last minute family or his girlfriend. It was a lack of attention given to the few characters that could've filled that role. Dante almost filled it in season 2, and Aaron and Garroth could have arguably become closer after everything in season 4, but at that point Aaron's entire arc became centered around Aphmau.

It was the fact that Blaze was one of the few people who ever directly reached out to Aaron and then was never given a scene alone again. It was because the writers wrote too many characters, tried to give the series a more direct focus, and then failed to account for the characters that were dragged along even if they didn't necessarily know what to do with them.

So when Season 6 came around and they decided to make the show super serious no really stop laughing, they needed characters to kill off to up the stakes. It's not like Blaze's character was going anywhere. It's not like they had a plan for him. Nothing was really being lost.

It's not like Blaze was one of the most sincere and dedicated characters in the series. It's not like he had one of the biggest potentials in regards to his relationship with Aphmau or Aaron. It's not like there was time spent proving that he could be a solid pillar of support in both of their lives even under dire circumstances. It's not like he was set up that way through individual scenes where he got to talk to each of them on a personal level. That definitely didn't happen.

TLDR: MyStreet peaked at season 2 and they fumbled the bag with the best chance to make it peak even higher and I'm forever bitter about it. Now get out of my house.

[demodraws0606]

I apologize for the QSMP posting (q!bbh grabbed me by the leg and dragged me back in the mcyt rp community somewhat) but I want to say that q!bbh is basically c!bbh but better.

This is gonna be a little rant-y but I've held this close to my chest for a long time

Like, looking back on it, the DSMP while it introduced cc!bbh to roleplay and managed to plant the seeds for him becoming a better actor, it also was a terrible place for his character. As an antagonist he barely stood out due to people like cc!dream hogging out all the spotlight to act as the "main villain" of the server.

It also forced cc!bbh to do more cinematic and planned streams when most of c!bbh's best moments come from complete improvisation. I've never rlly liked any of his scripted streams all that much as i felt they never really reflected on his character or story well.

An arc like the egg arc also sufficated c!bbh's character as all of his wrong doings was placed on the egg which ended up being poorly developped as we never actually got any revelation on its existence or even purpose. Along with cc!bbh being kind of clearly influenced by popular fandom opinions which always went along with the idea that c!bbh's entire character revolved around some kind of tragic romance with skeppy.

However now we got Q!BBH and from what i've seen, it's basically all I wanted from c!BBH. There are no third party to explain away his actions and his blatant immorality/demon nature is pointed at without denying how he still has attachements.

Also can i say how much cc!BBH's acting chops have improved, it was clear in the beginning of the egg arc that he wasn't very comfortable with acting yet and it came off as pretty awkward.

But now he is straight up having hour long monologues themed around his character slowly going insane and it managed to genuinely be chilling.

Basically I wanna say props to cc!BBH for how much he has improved, I hope his character gets to eat people.

[unpassive-viewer]

Hi Barbie!

Saw Barbie this week, as everyone else probably did as well. Seeing everyone in hot pink was very wholesome.

The movie itself was... a lot. Not something I'd watch without the fanfare. Two hours of staring at hot pink was overwhelming, to say the least. It was definitely something I had to digest afterwards - it was like a two hour fever dream. The best thing I can liken it to was a very long SNL skit with incredible acting. Seriously, the actors in this film were pulling all the stops. Kate McKinnon in particular was great as Weird Barbie. Onto the review ~

The good:

The acting, obviously. Ryan Gosling was giving "Brad Pitt cameoing in Deadpool for the price of a coffee" - the man was LIVING. Absolutely setting the theatre kid in him free. Margot Robbie's crying scene was very real and emotional, I almost forgot I was watching a movie about a toy. America Ferrera is a goddess, I think she was perfect for her role.

The set design and costumes. Oh my goodness was the whole movie so fun. I might get crucified for this, but in terms of matching the whole set, this film reminds me of the 2003 Cat in the Hat. Unhinged and yet very well assembled.

The cinematography. The film was incredibly well shot. I loved the transition montages going between Barbieland and the real world, they were very different. I also liked the wide shots of Barbie, especially at the end. Also, as Alan from CinemaTherapy will tell you, the most versatile tool a director and actor have are close up shots of the actor. This movie employed that tactic expertly.

The comedy. Really well written, and clearly very often improvised. I felt like it drew a good balance.

The less good:

The pacing. While the monologues were amazing, I didn't feel like the movie gave viewers time to root for any of their characters... except Ken. I would have liked if we got more time with the humans beyond the car chase scene. I simply did not feel there was enough character development. Ken is... well, he's just Ken. He's simple and funny. I think I would like Stereotypical Barbie's narrative more with a second watch, it was just a lot to process on a 70 foot screen.

The theme. Do not get mad at me for this, please. I spent a lot of the film trying to figure out who the target audience of this film is, because all of the feminist overtones were so... obvious? America Ferrera's monologue in particular. Women already know all of what she said - it is born into us and moulded for our entire lives. And the part where the Mattel CEO tells Barbie to get back in the box... that felt like low hanging fruit. Was the purpose to make women feel seen, or was it an attempt to communicate something to a non-woman audience? Because that demographic has been touch and go with this whole production. It was a fun way to see it articulated, but I am still confused. Especially since Greta Gerwig's other films also touch on remarkably similar topics already. Who is this for?

Overall I think the societal reaction to this film has been more dramatic than anything contained in the movie itself. It does not make egregious statements - if anything it's a bit of a dumbed-down feminist message. Even the lyrics to the music makes is as easy as possible to comprehend the message that's being delivered. Greta Gerwig is not doing subliminal messaging, she wanted the whole audience to know EXACTLY what she was communicating... and somehow so many people still missed the point.

However, it has really seemed like the perfect storm in terms of timing and marketing reach. The fact that a message like this would get this big right now in the wake of all that is happening to women in the world - specifically the western world where this will be the most popular - is kind of incredible. I feel like Greta Gerwig is executing a Taylor Swift-level master plan.

Honestly, the most insane part of this to me is seeing all of the men who have complaints that Ken was "dumbed down" and cries of "not all men" as if there is not an obviously unproblematic man represented in the film. If you align yourself with Ken and not Alan... buddy do I have some news for you. But all of those arguments have been made already, so I will leave it at that.

Basically, go see Barbie. It's fun, it's a good balance of comedy and gut-wrenching grief for your girlhood and for your sisters, and the cult activity of everyone wearing pink to the theatre is like... my favourite thing. This was my Star Wars, people committed to the bit.

As a final thought I'd like to thank the guy who was sitting behind me in the theatre who was crying laughing at all the jokes, I think you brought me back to life with that.

[frostythefrostedfox]

Kane & Lynch, does that name ring a bell? No? Good! That means you’re still a good person.

Kane & Lynch is a series of games, Kane & Lynch: Dead Men and Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days, that never saw much success and was destined to obscurity, and honestly that is the best part about it, why? Because if it was a popular franchise, I would be worried for everyone’s mental stability, or lack of, in this case.

There are many reasons why these games never did particularly well despite having graphics that can still hold up to this day, an amazing atmosphere, a good enough sountrack, gameplay that never got too stale albeit a little too simplistic and generic, but the main reason was because this game had no audience, this game was made for nobody, you will not relate to this game, you will not enjoy this story, and you totally wont want to hear what it has to say about you, why? Because this is a game about horrible people that does horrible things while being aware of it the entire time.

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men doesn’t puts you in the shoes of a wronged cop trying to set the world straight, it doesn’t makes you the hero that has to defy all the odds, and it totally doesn’t makes you a redeemable antihero like Travis or Shadow, no, you don’t get any of this here, what you get (and also the opening cinematic for the game) is a guy named Kane that has been sentenced to death penalty, what for? Your guess is as good as mine, but you can bet anything that he deserves it.

The game begins with Kane writing a letter for his daughter, a daughter he never knew or saw other than in pictures, in said letter he is not apologizing or trying to justify his actions, instead what he writes is “The only feeling I have left is regret, regret that I never get to see you, to know you”, and that is the only moment of “feelings” you will ever get on this game, after that, the reality, Kane’s reality, sets in real fast, with no previous warning or even him wanting to, he is bailed out of prison on his way to his execution and forced to cooperate with his, in lack of a better term, new captors; these captors are soon revealed to be The Seven, and they have been hunting Kane ever since he betrayed them during a past job, running away with all the money and leaving them for dead, warning him that he has 3 weeks to recover what he stole from them or they’ll kill both his ex-wife and daughter.

If that sounds like a lot is because it is, this game never stops to explain anything, the story is told only by bits and pieces of dialogue that you’ll hopefully catch a glympse of, just like it would be IRL, nobody is gonna stop and give a 10 minute monologue over why they are there, specially if the characters already know each other; this lack of clarification and proper guidelines set the tone pretty quickly as well, everything feels like it is barely hold together, nothing makes quite sense and you wish you could ask a few more questions but since there are 50 enemies surrounding you at all times, the few lines that you got will have to do, it creates a feeling of rushness and improvisation that, for the most part, is how the game should feel, as Kane himself doesn’t even has a plan, he just got an objective to meet and no pointers or any idea on how to make it happen; and to make matters worse, he has a personal watchdog, Lynch, a pretty interesting guy as he is one of the few characters that manages the feat of being a worse person than Kane himself, and not because he wants to, he just has bad luck, suffering from hallucinations and severe manic episodes that make him lose consciousness and black out into a blind rage against everything and everyone that surrounds him, he never knows what’ll trigger it next or when it’ll happen, it will just happen and he’ll be left alone to pick up the pieces.

The gameplay is integrated in a, more or less, seamless way with its narrative aspects, you don’t have an ammo counter for the guns, you only get a total ammo and you yourself are responsible to count your bullets, just like it would be IRL; stand idle for long enough or press E and you will reload your gun.

This game is one of those that incorporates a “downed” stage before dying so you have the chance of getting back on your feet and keep fighting instead of having to replay a whole stage, but not everything is roses and dandelions, you are revived with srynges of Adrenalin, which, for those that do not know, is the thing that makes your heart beat faster and get all excited and full of energy, medically this is also used as a way to kickstart a fading pulse, as it forces the heart into a rush and can save a person, in fact, it saves you in the game, but this is not just a fun gimmick, because just like real life, use too much of it and you’ll flatline yourself by, basically, making your heart explode, this mechanic is not defined by a limited set of times or anything similar, instead your difficulty setting changes how long do you need to wait to use it again safely, and each usage of it, instead of outright killing you or sending you into a gameover, just works on a luck based gamble, the more you use it, the bigger the probability of you having a heart attack, but you can also get lucky and be revived 3 times in a row like it was nothing, or be very unlucky and not survive your first revival.

Speaking of downed and semi-conscious states. Each time you get downed the screen will flash white and then it will start slowly losing its colours until it becomes black and white, when that happens, you have bled out, namely, you lost; but getting downed is not just a fancy addition, as each time you do, you’ll hear your own thoughts and consciousness fading, as the audio gets distorted around you, and you start to hear Kane’s (or Lynch’s, if you’re playing co-op) last dying thoughts, in case of Kane, they are usually bits related to his past and his remorse over not meeting his daughter; this game really doesn’t wants you to forget that, for people like you, not even death is enough of a punishment.

Something that I consider unique about this game is its “crew” system, you can order the members of your crew to do things like defend a position, follow you or attack an enemy, pretty basic features, except that each one of them, even Lynch, has their own personalities and degree of cooperation, so at random they can refuse to obey your commands, or instead do something entirely different, and that is not limited to their movement because, what happens when you run out of ammo? If your teammates have the same type of ammo you need, your character will yell asking for more, and those that can replenish your ammo, will reply back, but that is also completely optional, as giving you ammo also takes ammo from them, so is entirely up to them to share, or not; and if you noticed how I said “character” instead of a name? That’s because that is exactly how the multiplayer works, a weird coop-pvp mixmatch that managed to destroy the entire internet.

Wait what? This game destroyed the internet and nobody knows of its existence? Well yes! Thanks to the introduction of achievements on PS3 and Xbox 360, there was an achievement called True Elite, awarded to the number 1 player worldwide and allowing you to play as Kane, and Celebrity, awarded to the number 2 and allowing you to play as Lynch, meaning that rising up those ranks was a proof of status, the higher you were, the more people wanted to play with you, but that’s the nice side of things, the ugly and bad side? Well, like I mentioned before, this game has a mix between coop and pvp in a way that it is both at the same time, each match will begin with a group of heisters trying to rob a place or get an objective, but there was no limitations whatsoever, there was nothing keeping you from killing the rest of your teammates to collect their share and keep all for yourself, and for those that were unlucky to be betrayed, they could have their second chance, spawning back into the game as cops, killing a heister meaning leaving them out of the match while at the same time respawning as a heister and stealing their accumulated money; now, again, how did this broke the internet? By being exactly what it tried to be, how? Well, the multiplayer mode, called Fragile Alliance is exactly, a fragile alliance between unknown criminals, each one is there for their own gain, and how did that translated to the real world? Well, several threads on TrueAchievements, an old website dedicated to achievement hunting prove testimony to an underworld that was created inside the game for the sake of two achievements, meaningless titles outside the game, clans would go at war with each other for entire weeks or months, boost alt accounts to hog the top spots, block the leaderboard by playing only against themselves and demanding REAL MONEY in form of Xbox live cards or xbox gold for a chance to be allowed to participate in these matches or even be allowed anywhere near, most of these setups ended up being scams where unsuspecting players would get killed endlessly until their rank would decrease even further or engage in Antiboosting, which was a practice of using poorly ranked accounts to make your match not gain you any positions in the leaderboard due to you playing against opponents that were too underlevelled for you, this led to the reset of the leaderboards between 3 to 5 times, and a monthly reset system was put in place after last time; I guess that it does prove the point the game was trying to make about “Thieves’ honor”

So far I’ve only talked about aspects relating to the gameplay and the atmosphere surrounding the game, and that’s it for now, but I’ll keep making walls of text about both the story, the soundtrack and the details that stood up to me the most, and obviously, fangirling about its sequel, Dog Days, which is another one of my favourite games.

[humanlyimprobable]

still mad about not getting to do any actual roleplay in our wednesday dnd game. 

[andromedastar]

Good morning babe, guess who it is? A while ago I read some Bucci Gang headcanons asking their S/O to marry them, but apparently the original author deleted the blog or post, because no matter how I searched, I just can't find it. I was wondering, maybe you could write something like that too?

Hi again Sky, miss you :)

Well, I remember reading something like that once too, but when I went to search I didn’t find anything very relevant, so yes, I accept your proposal lol

If you buy me some cookies, of course

💫| Headcanons - Bucci gang asking their S/O to marry them

📕Characters: Bucci Gang

⚠ Warning: Nothing, just sweet shit

💬 Author’s Note: I merged Headcanons with Scenarios to make things more dynamic, hope you don’t mind that :)

enjoy reading, cuties!

Get married by clicking “read more” :)

➥ 𝙶𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚘 𝙶𝚒𝚘𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊

Due to his troubled past, it is normal to think that GioGio would have the desire to get married and form the stable family he never had during his childhood. That thought alone isn’t entirely wrong, but because he’s an extremely private person and the Dom of the biggest mafia in the world, it would take a while for him to actually take the initiative.

Probably, when Giorno started to think about the request, he had been living with his S/O for at least 2 years. He spent a few days researching ways to propose them. He even asked the rest of the team for ideas during an informal meeting, but it didn’t go very well: Fugo rambled on about the pros and cons of a public relationship while a mob boss, Narancia and Mista said something about parachuting and fireworks. of artifice, Abbacchio didn’t seem to care much and Bruno was silent. In the end, he made the decisions for himself.

There’s a possibility that Giorno might decide to order them in Naples or whatever city he and his S/O live in, but he could also plan a trip out of the district or even out of the country if they felt comfortable doing so.

After spending the day pampering his S/O with affection and a few material things, the man decides to spend the night completely alone with them in a secluded room in the house in a luxury suite somewhere remote. It is at this moment that he finally decides to act.

He’ll catch his S/O off guard: whether it’s after getting out of the shower, getting ready for bed, or just watching some TV to get some rest, it doesn’t really matter, he wants them as naturally and calmly as he can. He acts as naturally as possible and chooses his words well as he starts improvising a monologue about how happy his S/O makes him and how much he wants them around. It sounds a bit slurred to anyone listening from afar, but your partner knows how difficult it is for him to show any kind of emotion and, to be honest, it’s a pride to see him try in such a genuine way.

In the end, it wasn’t hard to predict where Giorno was going with all this and it was almost impossible not to jump into his arms when he took a small fluffy box from the front pocket of his jacket, already giving him an answer before the question was even asked.

“Do you want to marry me, il mio fiore?”.

➥𝙱𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚘 𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒

Bruno’s love for his father and his family has always fueled his desire to get married and form his own life away from all the mafia hustle, but he really imagined that this would be another dream he couldn’t make come true. I mean, that was before he met his S/O.

It’s almost impossible not to notice how romantic and intense Bucciarati can be when it comes to relationships: he strives for each gesture, however small, to be remarkable for his partners and, obviously, his request would have to refer to everything that he believes and feels.

The man doesn’t need an elaborate plan in his mind for everything to work out, unlike Giorno. He knows exactly what he wants, how he wants it and what to do so that everything goes as he imagines. He believes that if everything happens naturally, it will be better and more genuine than following a plan to the letter and this will make him more comfortable and receptive to his partner’s reaction.

Regarding the day of the request, Bruno will be able to do several different things depending on his S/O: he will take the day off to go out with them somewhere they like, watch a movie or just shower them with affection for hours, really it doesn’t matter to the man. All he wants is to claim that he loves them and that’s all.

When Bcccellati thinks the time is right, he’ll call his S/O to a private place (if they’re out of the house, he’ll rent a room somewhere close to where they are). He might be a bit of a drag, asking his S/O to sit on his lap to shower them with sweet, gentle kisses down the face and neck, but it doesn’t take long to declare a few love phrases during breaks.

Like Giorno, it doesn’t take much to understand what Bruno wants from all this (and honestly, he doesn’t try to hide his intentions). He holds his S/O’s right hand gently, bringing it to his lips before placing a small ring on their ring finger. He stands up to place a kiss on their foreheads as a way of emphasizing his desire.

“I can’t live without you, tesoro”.

➥𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗�� 𝙰𝚋𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚘

Unlike the others, Abbacchio has no plans and does not intend to get married. Of course, that doesn’t mean he hates his S/O and doesn’t care about his opinions (not least because for him to be in a relationship, he definitely cares about them), just, well, things happen and divorces are expensive. He doesn’t need that to be happy with the person he chose to love.

His S/O will need to be extremely patient and persistent if he really wants to be proposed to by the man. He is a decisive person and difficult to change his mind, but after so much time living with his hard head it’s easy to understand where to move to make him reconsider his principles. One way or another, he ends up changing his mind.

There isn’t really anything formal, just a mutual agreement that the wedding will take place. Of course, if his S/O wants it, he’ll give you a ring bought at some luxury jewelry store and make sure the jewelry is unique in the world.

He won’t say it openly, but he thinks this was one of the best decisions of his life.

➥𝙽𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚊 𝙶𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚊

There’s something funny about Narancia and weddings. That’s because it never crossed that boy’s mind that he would have a partner, just as he would marry someday. Nara doesn’t know how to handle relationships and everything is new to him, so he doesn’t have time to think that far.

The reason he notices how important it is to marry his S/O is the same reason that the proposal is completely impulsive. A moment of extreme happiness, however simple it may be, that makes his fragile heart flutter with emotion and love. It could be anything from trying to rescue stray cats to sheltering from a storm while heading home. Something he knows is meaningful and hard to forget, especially for someone as emotional as he is.

It is at this moment, after calming down and organizing his feelings, that his eyes light up as if he had just had a divine enlightenment. He turns to his S/O with a smile and he kneels in front of them.

“Hey, I think I want to marry you”.

➥𝙿𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊𝚌𝚘𝚝𝚊 𝙵𝚞𝚐𝚘

There is something about Fugo that makes him suspicious about marriages: On the one hand, he would love to spend the rest of his life with someone and have the possibility of raising a family different from the one that raised him, but there are a number of factors to be considered when taking a step as big as this. These factors can take the man years to finally make his request official.

Small words spoken at random start your attempts to open up to his S/O. Conversations over the months that reaffirm certain points in his head and make the subject more comfortable for him. Lastly, when he lets himself fall into his circles of dualities, he decides to propose to his sweetheart’s hand finally in marriage.

However, unlike the others, Fugo is more direct and professional: he doesn’t stop to do something intimate and cute, he just sits with his S/O and talks for a few hours about the possibility of a wedding happening. It’s not like he doesn’t feel anything for that, though. This refers to his and S/O’s life and needs to be thought through and taken in a rational and firm way. They will have all the time in the world to enjoy later.

Evidently, after a while Fugo ends up having a bit of a conscience and decides to have a little ceremony to get the proposal right. This time he buys a ring and invites his S/O to take a walk around town before handing the jewel to them at the end of the night.

He gives them a long hug as a way of reinforcing his feelings for them, whispering quietly in their ear.

“You were the best thing that happened to me, la mia vita”.

➥𝙶𝚞𝚒𝚍𝚘 𝙼𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊

Mista is the guy who imagines a lifetime with the person he likes from the moment he sees her walk through the door for the first time, so it’s to be expected that marriage is in his plans.

He ends up becoming the most emotional and traditional of the team: He will probably invite his S/O to one of those luxurious restaurants in Naples with a random pretext that matches some context within Passione. Obviously, it’s easy to see that it was just a silly excuse, after all, who would dress up so much and show so much enthusiasm to handle business involving the mafia?

It’s hard to control the Six Pistols at a time like this. The man fills them with almost all the food on the table just to keep them quiet and avoid comments that could end the night’s surprise. Nothing much happens, luckily. He knows well how to deal with his impulsive stand.

Mista thought of several ways to deliver the ring to his S/O, such as putting it in the wine glass or giving it to an employee to put it with the food, but the fear of the jewel being stolen or his S/O ending up swallowing it makes him opt for the simplest way.

He catches his S/O’s attention sometime during the night, clearing his throat and saying he has something really important to tell them. He launches into a rehearsed speech about the man’s recent times with them, but it doesn’t take long for him to simply fumble and end up giving up out of nervousness. He pulls his S/O close to him so he can finally propose to them.

The sound of the Six Pistols’ celebration stuns him when his partner finally accepts the proposal. He cannot judge, however, as stands tend to convey the deepest feelings of their users.

“I will make you the happiest person in the world, lo prometto”

[oxygenbefore1775]

AoT characters staging Romeo&Juliet

basically a school AU where AoT characters (both Paradisians and Marleyans) are staging R&J, who would play whose part and stuff like that

Imma tell right away that I'm not a theatre kid so I've no clue how all of this works exactly so just bear with me if i write something out of the left field

fyi I'm going to list the R&J characters in the same order as in the original

cw: mentions of death Ig

Cast

Prince Escalus - Zeke

the troop just needed someone adult to play this part and decided to go with Eren's big brother

for someone who appears only three times during the entire play, is way too invested into this - Zeke doesn't want to let his little brother down

speaks with a strange (and mildly offensive) accent

Count Paris - Marlowe

everyone wanted Jean to play the character but he refused since being rejected by a love interest seemed all too familiar to him

Hitch suggested that Marlowe should play the part because she wanted to see his serious ass showing some emotion

it's really hard for him to get into character (even if it's a simple one) so he stays in character throughout the whole play

can't kiss Juliet on the lips so only gives her a peck on the cheek

feels a relief everytime his character dies

Romeo - Marco

initially Jean was aiming at this role (because of course he would)

but then he saw the sheer amount of lines he's supposed to memorize and backed out

Marco's interpretation of Romeo is adorable rather then passionate

tbh Marco doesn't give off 100% performance - he just does exactly what he's asked to

in the scene when Romeo slays Tybalt, doesn't seem angry enough and just runs towards Tybalt in anime style before gently pushing him

Mercutio - Eren

wants this role because Mercutio seems like a free spirit

genuienly tries to remember his lines but failes miserably so someone always has to help him out

completely forgets the Queen Mab speech but stays in the character and rants about some random stuff

funny thing is... the audience actually buys it

draws out his death agony trying to make it as dramatic as possible

Benvolio - Armin

memorized the script in its entirety - potentially can play any role

was chosen for the role of Benvolio because he is the only one capable of calming Eren down

often helps others when they forget their lines (mostly Eren)

needs to break up the actual fights between Mercutio and Tybalt

Tybalt - Porco

was glad to get the role because it doesn't have a lot of lines and he gets to show off his physique

doesn't need to get into the character

Porco is already aggressive enough

whenever there's a fight scene, Porco improvises, throws out his sham sword and beats the shit out of his opponents

is convinced that Romeo wasn't actually strong enough to kill Tybalt

Friar Laurence - Connie (Reiner as an understudy)

initially this role was suggested to Bertholdt but he declined because of his stage fright

Connie wanted to be on the stage but didn't want to memorize the lines so the role of Friar Laurence seemed perfect - Connie was carrying around a book prop where he hid the notes with his lines

Connie whales and sobs everytime during his last monologue (when R&J are already dead)

One time Connie forgets about the play so Reiner has to substitute him - Reiner also wanted this role but didn't want to rob Connie of it

the black robe that Connie usually wears is really figure-hugging on Reiner (that's the power of tiddies)

Juliet - Hitch

yk Krista was the first person to be suggested for the role but she declined

Mikasa agreed to play Juliet but only if Eren plays Romeo - both Eren and Jean were against it

the troop settled on Hitch

initially likes the fact of being a lead - but gets irritated when she needs to attend all of the rehearsals

her acting is good but a bit unhinged - she likes to be overly dramaric

during the scene of the first kiss during the ball, Hitch is more eager to kiss Marco (and not the other way around as it should be according to the script)

Rosaline - Krista

Rosaline doesn't have any lines but she appears on the stage (at least in some adaptations)

Krista volunteered to play her part because she kins Rosaline (like her decision not to marry a man)

her bright neon nails stand out in the crowd of extras

Nurse - Sasha

originally the troop was unsure of this casting because of Sasha's seemingly lacking sense of responsibility

but Sasha vigorously learns her lines and is by far the most hard-working

sometimes she cheats though by sliding the notes with difficult-to-memorize lines inside her sleeves

although Sasha's nurse is not portrayed as caring as she should be, Sasha still manages to bring out the humurous side of the character

improvises a lot and makes a lot of jokes on the stage

gets berated by the director because of it

Production team

Director - Jean

a huge controversy led up to Jean's appointment as a director

starts dressing up to fit into his director aesthetic

draws most of the decorations

has beef with Eren so assistant director has to step in every time in order to instruct Eren

has his own "vision" of the play and doesn't let the actors improvise too much because they are sabotaging his perfect play

Assistant Director - Pieck

much more chill in comparison to Jean

unofficial director and the troop tends to be more cooperative with her

supervises all of the scenes where Eren has speaking lines

hosts teambuilding activities inbetween the reahearsals

Set Designer (also Prop Master) - Hange

their initial drafts on the decorations turn out to be too complicated for the school play

raids local thrift and craft stores in search of perfect props

spray-on metalic paint (silver or gold) is their solution to beautify the ugly looking props

didn't bother to make the blades of the swords dull

somehow gets their hands on a historical piece - which turns out to be a piece of broken crockery

Costume Designer - Levi

makes the costumes the way he wants them to be and is unfazed by Jean's requests

will die on this hill if the costumes are not historically accurate

the troop is scared to put on the costumes because Levi is gonna beat the shit out of them if they damage the clothes

is present during the rehearsals to make sure that the troop wears the costumes properly

Stage Crew - Bertholdt, Ymir and Mikasa

Ymir is the most focused out of the three - that is wnen Krista is not in the wings - otherwise she gets distracted and strikes up a conversations with her

Bertholdt hangs up all of the decorations thanks to his height (man's a fucking tree)

when it comes to the fast change of set decorations, Mikasa is the best at this

it turned out really messy but i hope you like it!

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Hey guys, I was having thoughts on the meta-side of the Dream SMP. Okay, so we know that Technoblade has done much of the scripting for this present arc, Tommy, Dream and Quackity have also done some in collaboration, presumably doing each of their own characters and motivations, and Tubbo and Fundy have also been involved too. Uh, this will be rambly as it’s a lot of unsorted observations.

Obviously these are my thoughts, and ideas purely based on my observations as a viewer but you can definitely tell that they’re all very aware of the fanbase and are likely very influenced by them. I could see this even in the Pogtopia arc where Tommy started reusing phrases before when debating ethics with Wilbur, eg ‘let’s lose as winners, not win as losers.’ or something along those lines and how Techno made a callback to his only universal language is violence speech in his wither monologue. 

But wow, the scripting is definitely becoming a lot more obvious in this new season of the SMP. Not a bad thing at all, by the way, it’s just a difference. Clearly they’ve gotten more detailed plans and are more ambitious with what they convey in minecraft, with more players taking inspiration from Wilbur after how well he executed it. It’s also the difference in how the various people write, I’m sure. 

Tommy and Tubbo have streamed the SMP for the longest and have very gradually evolved into the roleplaying and their respective approaches to it are very interesting. Tubbo’s streams are typically chill and usually involve him working on some sort of project - he’s very chaotic when with other people but is usually very reactionary when it comes to the roleplaying - doing most of his best stuff when bouncing off Tommy, or occasionally Quackity. On his own he doesn’t like to lead bits but is among the best at making other people’s bits work. Same with the RP! His character’s in a weird spot right now as the other writer’s seem to be writing him in quite an unflattering way and he doesn’t do solo, emotional performances all that much meaning he’s less sympathetic right now then he really should be. Like, Tommy garnered loads of sympathy during his exile as he gave a very expressive performance where Tubbo’s character also presumably feels very isolated and alone and he’s being manipulated by the people around him but he gives a lot less. This has made it easier for the audience to start siding more with Technoblade, the literal mass-murderer, over the traumatised kid who was manipulated into exiling his best friend and continues to face terrible choices with no good options.

 While I can of course make less meta theories on why Tubbo should be appreciated more and what it says he’s got no real support and is compartmentalising his problems, in the end it’s how his streams work. Tubbo does plot related streams, and he does streams where he simply vibes - and even in the serious streams, he can joke around and cheerfully lampshade the goofiness by doing things like joking about wanting a good review from Techno while kidnapping him - that stuff is priceless and does not fit into the melodramtic scripts but it adds so much to the SMP and why it is so much fun to watch. Tubbo’s really good at making content better! He’s not afraid to look ridiculous, he will also unapologetically avoid engaging in too much melodrama himself when he doesn’t feel like it. I consider his character highly underrated in the plot right now.

Tommy knows what he’s doing. Even before the roleplaying really took off, Tommy liked to play a character and lead bits and the SMP shifting in a more scripted direction suited him exceptionally well. Tommy focuses heavily on streams with lots of content, only rarely doing more chill stuff - especially more recently. He has always approached streams with a plan - but usually their extremely loose and he has said that he’d sometimes just come up with an idea 10 minutes before the stream and improvise from there. Tommy’s good at improvising and seems to work best with a very loose plan. Where I think Techno likely came up with the plan for Tommy to get exiled from L’Manburg and then join forces with him, Tommy likely filled in how to play his character and - wow.

Tommy’s writing seems to be incredibly simple - each exile stream had no major plot points or anything and the plans that are there don’t even make logical sense (let’s throw a party in one day and let’s invite everyone but have Dream not send out the invitations so no one shows up - and I’m going to do this even with Philza and Fundy literally in the call.) but Tommy pulled every one of them off very well and proved to be compelling enough that no one cared at all whether the plot made sense nor did Tommy make much effort to justify that sort of thing - ‘cause he knows how the SMP works and how much the audience will go along with it. And instead, Tommy focused entirely on his characterisation and spent all his time exploring it. That’s how Tommy works - very simple plans, then improv in character into an engaging bit. He’s managed to pull off the most ridiculous things like that, and has confidence that the other streamers will support it - that’s how he’s prepared to try insane things like pretending to be Clarencio the llama. And, like Tubbo, he’s always willing to throw for content. 

Then there’s Technoblade. He’s streamed the SMP a lot less - though he’s done so much more recently - but he’s spent a lot more time playing on the SMP, doing tons of grinding. He here for the RP but is also committed to playing the game itself very optimally. He seems to have a much larger view, taking in the bigger picture, of the story where Tommy has a very personal view. His approach to content is all about the fanservice. 

He’s always trying to create big epic, moments, that both look and sound awesome. Like the butcher’s army plotline which let him both seem like an underdog, a victim against a mean group, and also an incredible badass figure who outplayed them all and came out as victorious. The butcher’s army were really given an antagonists role there, and were really made to seem unlikeable. Then he met up with fan-favourite Tommy and suggested a team-up with him. (This is also leading to the ultimate fanservice that is the Sleepybois team-up.) Techno’s got a very, dry self-aware sens of humour too and he’ll often make simple meta observations about the SMP - like noting that the pacing’s fast or teasing in the chat in the middle of wars. He’s also made himself into a bit of a meme what with logging just to say his name and leave. 

I don’t know how much it’s just Techno of course, but the plot really seems to be heading in a direction that suggesting that Technoblade was Right. L’Manburg’s seeming corrupt, and Tommy is being seen as Theseus. At the time Techno first made the Theseus speech, I felt like the comparison seemed unfair - but now it’s like the plot itself has bent over to make the comparison make sense, and Techno’s one of the writers of the script. Techno also of course, prepared a vault to show Tommy so he could say ‘welcome home Theseus dramatically - total fanservice as fans were indeed talking about how cool saying a line would be, and then he absolutely did. The way Techno calls his viewers chatting as the voices in his head is also fanservice. It’s not like actually true, as Techno ignores the chat if they tell him information his character doesn’t know and meanwhile all the streamers interact with their chat too - so all chats have always been a part of the story and calling them canon is absolutely meaningless. Not a bad thing though - it is nice and makes the fans happy and makes them feel included. I don’t know if this sounds critical by the way - it’s not meant as such at all - all the streamers love engaging with the fandom, and Techno’s approach to giving lots of fanservice by providing so many epic moments is great. I just wanted to highlight it. 

And those were some meta thoughts on the SMP right now and its writing. I don’t really think I had a point or argument. I just wanting to make some observations and my impressions. If you’re curious I am course a Tommy fan first. I love how he’s evolved with the SMP most of all and I appreciate his character-driven storytelling. His main weakness is probably getting too into bits and going too far and it’s so nice that the SMP is a place where even his weaker ideas are supported rather than shut down. I like how he’s able to improv so well and simply how he streams. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I love Tubbo best when he’s with Tommy as they bring the best performances out of each other. I find Techno interesting as a contrast to both of them, as he approaches so many things in such a different way. 

[acelaces]

Just curious, who are your top 5 Detentionaire characters? =)

Camillio Martinez

My boy Cam.... He’s memorable despite having a lot of cringey dialogue he comes off more as a cringey, try-hard, social-climbing but ultimately loyal and understanding guy. Best thing about him is his immaturity.  Worst thing about him is his immaturity. I like the dynamic of Lee Ping making friends and foes and peeling back the layers of A. Nigma High. Cam as a character is a good representation of that because he’s your og, known-forever, predictable as monkey hypnosis bestie but Lee learns new things about him throughout the show and he learns new things about himself.  Cam is a protective big bro and he drinks Respect Women juice. He has repressed bisexual energy. Also he is the definition of a Short King.

Tina Kwee: Tina grew on me from my first impression of her as your colour-by-numbers Lois Lane mild mannered crush character. I think I started really liking her character when she and Cam improvised that Cameo and Tina-ette bit to get past Lynch. Tina’s a subtler character but all the details are so endearing. The Lee Ping desktop background, talking to herself in the third person, average older-sib syndrome, absolutely participating in the never-ending slap-fight one-upmanship with Chaz. She needs that scoop and she definitely forgets that she's like, a fuckign baby who needs to eat some breakfast and download a game or two on her phone. Also her iconic protective streak during the Research Frenemies arc. She has caffeinated gremlin energy. Only critique: not enough character interactions.

Lee Ping: Lee didn't come off as just another flavour of generic teenboy RebelTM character. He's a very grounded and well-written mc, but with enough meme-able moments to keep the fandom burning with that classic 2013 era energy. He tries to enter 'rad' as a password 3 times before giving up, but he can also math circles around the best mathlete. He has an armband tattoo he just assumed was a birthmark. Friend of cats and Tazzes, likes Lance Pinto movies and 'doesn't do' cliques. This is the guy that seems to borrow a pencil from you every single day and you wonder if he has ever purchased one, unbeknownst to you (and him) he has a pencil from every kid in school under his bed. Lee comes into the series smug asf and look at what the creators did, he has anxiety now. Lee spends most of the series crouching in shadows, hiding in vents and running away from shit and still manages to blunder into badass moments, get in a smug one-liner or dunk on Biffy. Critique: his character design hurts my eyes (red and green?!?!?) and we don't get a lot of his internal monologue aside from for exposition.Lee has memelord energy.

Chaz Moneranian / Li Ping / Kimmie/ Cyrus 

These three tie for 4th for being iconic characters that I love every time they're on screen even though I don't know enough about them to find them totally endearing. It's the fanon for me. 

Chaz: Insecure, narcissistic asshat who unabashedly loves drama and mess, queer-coded, possibly has super-human speed and is chronically disliked. No idea why this character was so relatable to me.....

Li Ping: It's the voice-acting for me, sometimes he goes really pitchy and every line read is unexpectedly awesome. He looks a lot like Lee and yet his character design is easy on the eyes. Unlike Lee who is genre-savvy and sarcastic, Li is the guy who sends you e-mails in all caps and with a signature with an embossed sword and an inspirational/ominous quote. Li takes this shit serious and WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING??? YOU HAVE CHOSEN DEATH. The fact his character backstory involves some serious Fridge Horror and he alludes to having committed and being capable of Actual Atrocities...and his best friend is a pet snake named Priscilla. Power of God and Anime On My Side energy.

Kimmie: The stoic Alpha-Bitch who raps about a cringey restaurant named after her, has dumb phone apps and an actually Evil mom, the fact that Kimmie can smell a stunt or lie a mile off but had the entire illuminati operating out of her foyer and didn't even notice. She's so mysterious that I think it made the fandom froth every time we saw a peek into her weirdly sad world. Also her interactions with Lee as the deadbeat dad of her ro-baby lmao.

Cyrus: He’s funny every time he’s on screen. It’s the perpetual smile for me. He has no-thoughts-head-empty energy.

Biffy: I honestly wasn't sure who to put for this last spot. It was crazy close because I wanted to put Jenny here. I think ultimately the one with more screentime won out. Also Biffy gets bonus points for being a character I initially disliked and then won me over. Classic subverted bully trope but without the unfortunate implications of characters like Buford from P&F. Biffy felt like a fully-rounded character and bonus points for looking at the cake and being like :0 (ancient meme)Biffy can't wait til he can legally get a tattoo but he would probably ask whoever was there with him to hold his hand when he's getting it. Biffy is 7 ft tall and hides in a bathroom stall to hear a teen rock band practice. I like when he advocates for Lee's well being and I like when that pits him against Cam and Holg (og friends vs new friends and the duality of man etc. etc.). Bif is the character most likely to call Lee up just to check in, after a day of getting threats, 'heads up!'s, and 'YOU GOTTA GET HERE FAST BRO's. Bif has ABSOLUTE UNIT energy

[morsking]

And so we have concluded Lostbelt 2! Now that I’ve experienced it for myself, I have a much clearer picture about how I feel about this chapter. As I progressed one thing became very clear to me, and that was that Hazuki Minase likely did NOT have any influence with this chapter, and its weakest points can be attributed to its main writer, Hikaru Sakurai, once we more closely scrutinize her work.

For starters, I would like to apologize to the people who kept trying to tell me Minase had nothing to do with the writing of Losbelt 2. You were correct, I simply acted stubbornly because I was terrified that one of the writers I loathe the most had returned to haunt and corrupt the franchise I hold very dear to me. I insisted on blaming him for any flaws because he was an easy scapegoat and a bogeyman, and while we all agree he is a pervert and a hack who should be fired, it is simply not fair to point fingers at imaginary criminals. A person should always be held accountable only for the misdeeds they have actually committed. Indeed, we may now explore Lostbelt 2 and the integrity of its writing with a more objective perspective, or rather as objective as I can manage to be.

The overall theme of the Lostbelt is “acknowledging one’s emotions as a vehicle for personal growth”. The issue persistent in the setting of Lostbelt Scandinavia was that it was a place where only young humans were allowed to survive. These humans would be oblivious to what real growth and prosperity were really like. They were innocent, and emotionally and intellectually stunted groups of people who only knew to live for the truth of their eventual demise. They lived short, rushed lives where they would stay ignorant of basic human experiences, such as love, grudges, aging, vice, hate, competition, and companionship because they devoted themselves to living how Scathach-Skadi ordered them to. They were unable to think or decide what to do for themselves, and were thus incapable of not just taking the reins to decide their own evolution as we do in Proper Human History, but also of fathoming doing such a thing in the first place.

This is a mirror to Ophelia Phamrsolone. Ophelia was conditioned to only listen to others for purpose and direction. Ophelia doesn’t actually know how to listen to her own feelings or even what those feelings even are because she was never allowed to connect not just with herself but with anyone. Ophelia, like Surtr points out, is still very much a little girl terrified by everything around her because she has no balance, no capacity for finding her center as a healthy and normal human being would. Unbeknownst to herself, all her interactions with others are a plea for help. Her very first interaction with Mash in 2017 was asking her if she’d like to have lunch with her and Pepe because Ophelia is terrified by male strangers and wishes to connect with other women as well. Ophelia’s conversations with Kirschtaria are also her not knowing how to proceed with challenges and therefore appealing to authority both for comfort and advice. Finally, her monologues with the Alien Priestess are Ophelia venting about how she feels, as if she were unaware of what to really think of herself as her helplessness and indecision drown her in a lake of self-loathing. 

These cries for help extend to the way she summons her Servants. Ophelia is noted to be incredibly proficient at evocation. Some might even call her a genius. In fact, she is such a genius she unknowingly managed to contract not just with one, nor two, but three different Servants all at once. The first Servant to answer her summon was Sigurd, the King of Warriors from Nordic mythology. The second Servant was Surtr the King of Giants and Scourge of Ragnarok (titled by yours truly), who hijacked the summoning and took over Sigurd. The third, and most pivotal, was Napoleon Bonaparte, the French Emperor whose Spirit Origin was modified to embody the “ideal Good Fellow who could make dreams come true” rather than the actual historical Napoleon.

What these three Servants have in common is that Ophelia wished for all of them from the darkest depths of her heart. Ophelia desired capable Servants who could give her some form of direction and stability. 

Sigurd, for example, is a hero renown for rescuing Brynhild and giving brand new meaning to her life by showering her with love and devotion. Love and devotion are things that Ophelia not just desires to be shown but actively struggles to adequately express to others because she has never known what it’s like to experience those things. To Ophelia, Sigurd represents “being given that which you have never known and finding fulfillment”. 

Surtr, on the other hand, embodies a darker type of direction: the terror stagnation, conformity, monotony, inaction, and eternal suffering. Surtr exercises control over Ophelia by threatening to destroy the world if he is released, prompting Ophelia to flash to her childhood locked away by her abusive parents every dreaded Sunday. Surtr locks Ophelia into a state of helplessness and indecision where she has to carefully consider how she will proceed with dealing with Surtr. Ophelia has decided to lock herself in with him as a way to prevent him from breaking out of both Sigurd’s body and the physical prison inside the Lostbelt’s sun. This is a situation where Ophelia is in a constant state of stress and fear, since as a Crypter the last thing she could ever want to see is the destruction of yet another world by her hands. More personally, the death of the Lostbelt would also mean death for Ophelia, as she has failed her purpose once again and thus would have no worth as a person. However, what Ophelia cannot understand, because Surtr himself does not, is that Surtr’s destructive impulses are how he wants to show love and devotion towards her. Surtr has reasoned that since their worlds abandoned them after they failed to perform their ordained tasks, the only thing left is to annihilate them completely as retribution for their suffering. Surtr does not wish to hurt Ophelia, but because he is a being defined only by his overwhelming desire to burn everything, he cannot help her heal or grow in any way that matters. All he can offer is annihilation. To Ophelia, Surtr represents “self-destruction through a static state of being”.

Finally, there is Napoleon. Napoleon represents a pronounced antithesis to Ophelia’s entire personality. He is an upbeat, improvising, confident man who chooses to not stress over things because what he is seeing is only what lies ahead, not what lies in front of him.He also breaks her defenses by asking something so ridiculous and unexpected as her hand in marriage when they have only just met. Napoleon refuses to give in to any negative outcome regardless of how much the odds are stacked against him, as he demonstrated in Scathach-Skadi’s throne room where he refused to let Sigurd kill his Master despite being restrained by Skadi’s paralyzing rune. He demonstrates this once again when he blows his final shot at Surtr during the final battle, sacrificing his own life to give Chaldea the opportunity to regroup and bombard Surtr to bring him down. He is called the Man of Infinite Possibilities precisely because he faces the unknown head on and finds the best path to walk for his comrades to advance. He does not let fear take over his heart and judgement, he creates a rainbow as a bridge connecting the present to the bright, shining future. He is precisely the hero Ophelia needs, because he embodies “the bravery to grasp your own future and find your own direction”. 

But analyzing these characters further is a post for another time. What I want to get into are the gripes I have with this Lostbelt. 

Now, I could lead you on through a couple more paragraphs before I wham you with what this all means in a much higher metatextual level, but I don’t have the time nor the creativity to do that so I’m just gonna give it to you straight. This square between Ophelia, Sigurd, Surtr, and Napoleon is the storyline that matters most in Lostbelt 2. Scathach-Skadi matters little despite her own parallels with Ophelia and being the Lostbelt King, and the situation with the Lostbelt’s inhabitants matters even less. Why?

Because Lostbelt 2 is Sakurai coming full circle and writing an otome game like Fate/Prototype was meant to be before Fate/stay night became a thing. 

SHOCKER!! SOUND EFFECTS OF SURPRISE!! DRAMATIC KAZOOS GALORE!!

Now, that’s exaggerating a little. Or maybe not that much, actually.

What Sakurai was doing was applying conventional otome game tropes into the setting not just what she’s familiar writing for, but because Lostbelt 2 is inherently an incredibly self-indulgent project. 

There is a classic trademark otome fantasy at play here: the fantasy of multiple men being devoted to a female main character a player can relate to. There is no denying there is a certain appeal to the idea that there are several handsome men all willing to devore their entire lives to a person. Sigurd, Surtr, and Napoleon all embody certain otome game love interest archetypes. Sigurd is the cold, composed, intellectual man who is actually earnest, just, affectionate, and wise. Surtr is the dark-hearted troubled man with fiery disposition struggling with expressing love. Napoleon is the strong, confident, borderline pixie manic dream boy with almost zero brains but plenty of empathy and... *ahem*, physique to make up for his seeming lack of tact and intelligence (he’s a himbo is what I’m saying but that comes as no surprise). The problems arise with Napoleon himself, however. Napoleon hounds Ophelia with marriage proposals she refuses time and time and again. When he proposes to her in front of Chaldea for the first time, the narrative has Mash take Napoleon’s side and urges you to do the same because Sakurai believed the reader would’ve caught on to what’s actually going on between Ophelia and Napoleon. 

The issue here is that Sakurai’s clues up to that point had been far too hidden for the player to make a proper connection, and it’s not until AFTER the proposal that the player discovers Napoleon is predisposed to fall in love with whoever summons him because that’s what Ophelia wanted out of an ideal Servant. Because of the poor execution in presenting all these factors that completely recontextualize the relationship between Napoleon and Ophelia, when Sakurai has Napoleon say “You did not reject me therefore you DID agree,” we jump to the conclusion that Napoleon is engaging in extremely reprehensible behavior and ideology reminiscent of dangerous and abusive men IRL rather than take it as harmless flirtation from a well-meaning oaf of a man as he tries to break the shell of his beloved. Sakurai invokes a very dangerous trope that does more to excuse misogynistic behavior when done incorrectly rather than successfully appear as a romantic gesture of attempting to liberate a loved one from the clutches of isolation and victimhood.

On a larger scale, the application of these tropes is where Lostbelt 2 starts to suffer, and that’s where Sakurai’s writing further begins to resemble Minase’s. Sakurai spent so much time building these interpersonal dynamics that she spent the least amount of effort actually building upon the situation of the Lostbelt and Scathach-Skadi’s character and motivations for keeping the Scandinavia the way it is. 

Upon scrutiny, it’s not very difficult to pick apart the setting and make a mark out of the glaring logistical inconsistencies of maintaining a population of only 10,000 humans for a span of 3,000 years by having them reproduce at 15 years old at the latest to execute them at 25. Anyone with a passing understanding of biology would know that forcing children to carry babies to term can lead to terrible health and psychological complications that would certainly end up in a lot more miscarriages, stillbirths, and failed attempts at impregnation than actual successful births. The problem here then is rather evident. Sakurai wanted to use the fact that all these children are young, innocent, naive, gullible, and ignorant to draw a connection to Ophelia’s own psychological and emotional circumstance. However, she realized that because she was writing a setting that obligated her to work around a 3000-year gap between Ragnarok and the present day. She needed something that would compromise the need for a realistic system that would ensure the reproductive viability of a human population through such a long period of time and the thematic vehicle of childhood and repression of growth as a way to connect Ophelia to her environment. This compromise ended up working for the absolute worse because she chose the worst possible system she was aware was the worst possible system she could’ve come up with and therefore decided to forsake that part of the plot without going through the implications of it and leaving the specifics to the reader’s imagination so they could sort it out in her stead.

This unwillingness to properly explore the problematic implications of Scathach-Skadi’s system not only deprived the player of a possible engaging storyline where child endangerment, a common theme in the Nasuverse, is explored and criticized through a different angle, but also actively hurts Scathach-Skadi’s connection to the player because we never get the opportunity to debate with her about her ideology and the state of the Lostbelt. We never hold her accountable for enforcing such a brutally predatory and dehumanizing system that targets children, instead Sakurai opts to build her up as a flawed, self-absorbed mother figure desperately trying to combat the extinction of the remnant of her world who also never really learned how to deal with the revelation there is an entire life she did not get to have in this universe that we MUST sympathize because she occasionally sees through the characters and acts kind towards them until the time comes for us to fight her in earnest as a matter of principle completely divorced from the question of how she’s managed her Lostbelt. The fact Scathach-Skadi’s model of sustainability does not work is made obvious by the fact it takes place in a Lostbelt, what we are trying to get at here is that it does not work from a writing standpoint because of all the different holes you can poke on it before you’ve punched through the paper screen entirely and revealed the superfluousness of it all. 

There is nothing inherently bad about self-indulgent storylines. If I’m being honest, if Sakurai wanted to use Ophelia and Musashi as self-inserts to fantasize about romancing the different kinds of characters she finds attractive, more power to her. But the problem surrounding Lostbelt 2, which is the same problem that plagued Septem and Fate/Extella, is a veritable lack of restraint from her part as a professional writer in charge of a multi-billion dollar mobile game. What the writing room over at Type-Moon has to realize is that they are no longer a small doujin writing circle that can get away with whatever they want because they operate under obscurity. They are visible to the entire world and will be held accountable and criticized as professionals by consumers and their peers in the industry. A little bit of self-fulfillment in a published work never hurt anyone, you can cater to yourself most of all with your professional work (I mean, just look at She-Ra), but you must be sure that in your pursuit of indulgence your work does not suffer for it and ends up alienating and disappointing your fanbase and giving them the wrong impression of what you stand for. 

Anyway we’re popping the biggest bottles when GudaMoth becomes canon this December. 

[365days365movies]

April 11, 2021: Tootsie (1982) (Recap)

To be clear, I like Dustin Hoffman.

I can’t exactly claim that I’ve seen him in a lot of his most iconic roles, but I’m planning on fixing that this year for sure! On my to-watch list this year and beyond is Midnight Cowboy, Kramer vs. Kramer, Stranger Than Fiction, and Marathon Man at the very least.

But that’s not to say I haven’t seen him in other iconic roles of his, of course. Fun fact: I actually tried to do this project in 2019, and it...didn’t work. But, one of the films I watched that year was one of Hoffman’s most iconic dramatic films: Rain Man.

Oh, and by the way, that movie is not about an autistic man. Or, rather, it’s not based on a man diagnosed with one of the autism spectrum disorders. Instead, he actually most likely had a genetic disorder called FG syndrome, unrelated to the spectrum disorders. Ironic, since Hoffman’s character was the pop-cultural depiction of autism that people STILL refer to quite often, and quite inaccurately. But, obviously, that’s not Hoffman’s fault, and he was good in the movie, to be fair.

I grew up with him in Hook, as the pirate captain himself (I still do his laugh sometimes, it’s weird, I know). He had an underappreciated starring role in one of my favorite guilty-pleasure films, Outbreak (I fucking love that movie, and I’m not ashamed to admit that). He was in Finding Neverland, but I just forgot about that until I looked up his filmography to write this intro. And, of course...Master Shifu.

So, yeah, I actually DO like Dustin Hoffman, despite the fact that his role in The Graduate wasn’t stellar for me. Just seemed kinda miscast, and a little too awkward to be even slightly sympathetic. Then again, he wasn’t really meant to be, so maybe Hoffman was the perfect choice. Even then, he still acted well in it.

And anyway, I watched that movie for two major reasons. One, it was on my list of films to see, and TWO: it was a lead-up to the ACTUAL Hoffman film I wanted to watch this month: Tootsie. After all, I just watched rom-com Some Like It Hot, and if you’ve looked at me schedule, you know what film is coming next. So, this one fits in my planned schedule. Why? Well...there’s a theme.

Yup. I actually picked these movies for a reason. See, here’s the thing: this is a repeated trope in comedies, and I’ve always wondered whether or not it’s...problematic. But, much to my surprise with Some Like It Hot, they actually used the situation to comment on the female experience. I mean, not necessarily really well, but they tried at the very least. And for a film from 1959, that ain’t bad!

Which isn’t to say that it’s entirely clean, of course, but it was far better than I’d expected. So, if 1959 did that OK, how did 1982 do? Let’s find out, shall we?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is an acting coach, as well as being an actor himself. However, he’s not the most successful actor, as he keeps attempting to audition for pieces, only to get refused for nebulous reasons, or refuses them when he disagrees with the director. He might want to take his own advice, for the record.

In the meantime, he works in a restaurant with Jeff Slater (Bill Murray), a playwright and roommate. That night, the night of his birthday, he spends time with an actress friend, Sandy Lester (Teri Garr), and also hits on the majority of women there that night.

As the party concludes, and various people go home, Sandy is abandoned by her date, and Michael offers to take her home. She breaks down crying, and Michael guesses that she’s upset about an upcoming audition. He gives her some coaching advice, and manages to get her to produce the correct emotion for the role. Afraid that she’ll lose it without him, he agrees to accompany her to the audition and enrage her. It’s very funny.

That morning, however, she IMMEDIATELY gets kicked out of the audition, as she wasn’t right for the part. However, when he goes to help her by speaking with an actor on the show, he finds out that the actor is off the show, and is instead getting a part that MICHAEL was supposed to get. Now enraged himself, he goes to speak with his agent, George Fields (Sydney Pollack), and the two have a tense conversation. It’s revealed that because of his difficult nature, he has a terrible reputation in acting circles, and literally nobody will hire him.

Challenge accepted.

Now dressed up as a woman named “Dorothy Michaels”, he goes back to the audition that passed on Sandy. Like her, he’s also immediately rejected by the director, Ron Carlisle (Dabney Coleman), who insists that she’s too “gentile” for the part of a hospital administrator. This causes “Dorothy” to go off, in a righteous monologue that accuses Ron for conflating power with masculinity. Which...yeah, he totally is, and DAMN, it’s a good tell-off!

Producer Rita Marshall (Doris Belack) agrees, and invites “Dorothy” to read for the part. He comes in to read, and in the process meets Julie Nichols (Jessica Lange), to whom he’s IMMEDIATELY attracted. He brushes that off, and the audition commences. From there, he gets the part, which is a regular part on a soap opera called Southwest General.

Now fully invested in the dumbest idea anybody’s ever had, “Dorothy” goes to her agent and tells him the ridiculous news, and asks for $1000 to go shopping for more clothing. Back at their apartment, Michael speaks to Jeff about the whole situation. He notes that he’s doing this to get the money for his play in Syracuse, which requires $8000 to produce.

Sandy is to be cast in this play, which is an issue, as they now need to explain where the money came from, as it’s technically from the part that SHE was refused for, which would hurt her feelings. He lies and says that the money’s from a deceased relative. While in her place, and while she’s in the shower, he decides to try on some of her clothes to get ideas for Dorothy. But when she walks in on him, he lies AGAIN and says that he’s sexually attracted to her. And she reciprocates IMMEDIATELY, which leads to an unintended relationship.

On the set, “Dorothy” finds out that he’ll be kissing John Van Horn (George Gaynes), an older actor who’s clearly a bit past his prime, and makes it a point to kiss every actress on the set when they start on the show. Gross. Michael agrees, and when the scene comes, he improvises and has his character (Emily) hit the doctor instead.

While the director (who’s a DICK, by the way) notes the improvisation, he approves of it, while also discouraging any similar actions in the future, and calling her “toots”. “Dorothy” takes it, rather than talks back. John compliments her on the improvisation, and then kisses “Dorothy” anyway, much to Michael’s shock!

We also find out that Julie, who plays a nurse on the show, is dating director Ron. Later on, though, Michael observes him making out with another actress on stage. Shortly after this, Julie invites “Dorothy” to dinner at her place, which is eagerly accepted. At dinner, we find out that Julie has a young daughter and that her relationship with Ron is...not stellar.

They have a discussion about being a woman in the ‘80s, and the complexities inherent in that concept, which is an interesting theme of this movie! Gotta say, this is a more socially-conscious version of Some Like It Hot, and I really like that! But the conversation is cut short when Michael realizes that he’d promised dinner with Sandy that night, and leaves in a hurry.

Dinner with Sandy is awkward, as Sandy is...Sandy is a lot, to be honest. But, she tells Michael that the woman hired in her stead on the soap opera (who is, of course, Michael himself), is written as a wimp, rather than tough as intended, and that she should change that. Michael agrees, and actively goes against the script to make the character of Emily far tougher. and essentially a feminist.

While this causes some grief to Ron and Rita at first, Dorothy Michaels soon becomes a massively successful and popular actress on the show, and her popularity absolutely explodes. Michael’s wrapped up in the success of Dorothy Michaels, and thinks that she might be able to branch outside of the role of the soap opera. Which is difficult, as his agent points out, because of the simple fact that Michael is...well, Michael.

At a party that his agent invites him to, Michael meets Julie AS MICHAEL. He uses a line on her that she’d mentioned before to Dorothy, only to be met with a drink to the face. Which is fair, as the line was about being honest about wanting to have sex with her, so I get it.

On the set soon afterwards, we see that the show is becoming more progressive, allowing Julie’s nurse character to stand up to John’s chief doctor character. After the scene is done, the director once again calls Dorothy “toots” instead of her real name, and Dorothy absolutely snaps back at him, and rightfully so! In response, Julie goes and invites Dorothy to a weekend in the country, on her father’s farm. Despite some rebuke from Jeff for lying to Sandy AND Julie, Michael as “Dorothy” goes on the trip.

This, by the way, is an excellent time to mention that this film is exuding some real strong, uh, vibes. You know...alphabet mafia vibes. Like, it’s definitely there, heavily leaning towards Julie. Obviously, “Dorothy” is actually the heterosexual Michael, but that’s not helping, just saying. And there’s literally (and absolutely obviously) nothing wrong with that, but it’s so strong at this point that it’s hard to ignore.

On the farm, “Dorothy” meets Les Nichols (Charles Durning), Julie’s lonely and genuinely nice father, if a bit old-fashioned in his views on gender politics. He’s also got the hots for “Dorothy”, which is funny-but-awkward as shit. That night, Julie tells “Dorothy” some very personal things about her dreams as a child, which is a genuinely very sweet scene. And can I just say, that this movie is both funny and quite heartfelt? I love it! Also, again, the vibes...THE VIBES.

Meanwhile, the popularity of “Dorothy” continues to skyrocket, to the frustration of director Ron, but to the delight of producer Rita, who decides to extend her contract with the soap opera by a full year! Oh FUCK! Realizing what the hell he’s gotten himself into, Michael calls his agent, who tells him that it was in his contract, meaning he’s basically fucked.

Jeff also tries to help hi, out of it, to no avail. Just then, though, they get a call from Julie, looking for “Dorothy”. She’s been having her doubts about her relationship with Ron, and she realizes that she’s been settling for Ron and other men like him. And Dorothy’s inspired her to be a better person, and to be honest with others and with herself. Fuckin’ OOF.

Just then, Ron arrives, allowing them some alone time, as Julie is getting ready for their night out. In the process, “Dorothy” reveals that she knows about his indiscretions with other women. Ron proceeds to use the EXACT SAME EXCUSE that Michael used to excuse his lies to Sandy, and it’s well-executed! Good job, writers, that’s pretty awesome.

“Dorothy” promises to watch Julie’s daughter for the night, which proves a bit of an issue, but he works it out. Julie returns later on, having broken up with Ron. Another heart-to-heart ensues, but this one is concluded with a revelation that Julie is lonely, despite the fact that she appreciates Dorothy’s influence and friendship. And then, "Dorothy” tries to kiss Julie. OH

Yeah, Julie’s not exactly chuffed about this as, despite a LOT of “Sappho and her friends” vibes, she doesn’t actually swing that way. “Dorothy” tries to explain, but this is interrupted by a call from Julie’s dad! He asks her out on a date that night, and “Dorothy” accepts. On said date, he FUCKIN’ PROPOSES TO HER! She promises to think about it, and takes the fuck OFF.

And to continue the parade of “Fuck me, I guess” that marching down Michael Street, who should show up at the apartment but John, from the show! Having followed her home the previous night (YIKES BUDDY), he literally serenades her outside of the apartment window, before “Dorothy” lets him in. It’s there that he reveals he’s MADLY in lust with her, and it’s HILARIOUSLY awkward. Thankfully, just as John is forcing himself on her, Jeff walks in on them, interrupting John’s actions, and causing him to leave in shame.

AND FUCKING THEN, after all of that, Sandy arrives at the apartment to find out why Michael’s not returned her phone calls. And Sandy’s a lot, sure, but all of her concerns are completely valid and legitimate. And despite Michael’s impressive ability to lie, he tells her the truth: he’s in love with another woman. Which she absolutely freaks the fuck out about, but whatever, not like Michael doesn’t deserve that.

Having had it with all the drama around Dorothy’s life, he goes to his agent and hilariously recounts to him the whole series of events that’s taken place. Still struggling to find a way to get out of the situation, he goes to work the next day, for an awkward conversation with Julie. She thanks Dorothy for inspiring her to be true to herself, which cuts DEEP, but still says that they shouldn’t spend time together anymore.

Producer Rita arrives with news: the erasure of a reel of footage has forced them to shoot a scene live. Said scene involves a party being thrown for Dorothy’s characters, putting her in the starring role. And THAT is when Michael takes his chance. Dorothy improvises a monologue about Emily’s REAL past, as a twin who tragically died before realizing her dream to become a hospital administrator. Ripping off his disguise, Michael reveals himself as Emily’s twin brother, Edward!

Everyone on stage and at home is SHOCKED, especially Les, John, Sandy, and of course, Julie. And once the cameras stop rolling, Julie now understands everything. She walks right up to Michael...AND PUNCHES HIM IN THE DICK

John asks if Jeff knows, and I break in half laughing.

Months pass. Michael was able to fund Jeff’s play in Syracuse, and goes to meet Les, who lives in the area. The two make amends after an understandably awkward reunion, and they begin the journey to become friends after everything. This prompts Michael to return to the city and speak with Julie, who is...less than happy to see him. Which, yeah, entirely fair.

But, again overcoming the initial awkwardness, Julie is able to admit that she misses her friend Dorothy. And Michael reciprocates, speaking for Dorothy, who is...well, him. He says the following great line: 

I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.

And from there...the two decide to rekindle a friendship, with Julie asking to borrow one of Michael’s dresses. And y’know...I’m rooting for those crazy kids.

That’s Tootsie! And, uh...I love it! I LOVE it. I actually think this is a great film, and one of the best I’ve seen this month. But I’ll elaborate...in the Review! See you there!

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson interview for CRASH Magazine (September 2020) - translation from French 

AB: You'll be starring in Dune which comes out at the end of this year. Everyone is eager to find out. How did you join this project?

RF: I had a meeting with Denis Villeneuve, the director. I find his work amazing and it was a dream to work with him. His films are always a feast for the eyes.

AB: This film is eagerly awaited, especially by the many fans of the books and the entire Dune universe. Do you feel a certain pressure not to disappoint the audience?

RF: I never feel pressure from the fans. It’s not my job. I have a lot of respect for them and want them to enjoy our work, but I can't please all the people who will go see the film and form their opinions. I remember Tom Cruise saying that everything he does, he does for the fans. I love it when people validate our work but to be honest I love what I do. I love creating a character, the incredible costumes, the make-up. And then work with the best in the world. If the film falters, at least I would have appreciated it. And then I like having conversations with people who don't necessarily agree with the film, it's interesting.

AB: I imagine you must have done a lot of research to prepare for this role.

RF: Oh my god, the whole universe of Dune is so hard to understand. I still barely understand it, even after the shoot. Why are we doing this? Where should I go? Who should I trust? (laughs) So yeah, I did a lot of research. Denis also did all of his own research that I could lean on. The make-up artist was a veritable well of knowledge and stories. And then Jacqueline West, the costume designer, compared our clothes to paintings, from the Renaissance, to Cubism, etc. I barely knew what she was talking about. I just smile. I was working with the experts from the experts. So I hope that at least some things have been achieved.

AB: You are going to shoot additional scenes soon?

RF: Yes, we're going on the set in August...

AB: How long have you lived in Sweden?

RF: I was born in Sweden and have lived there all my life. Then I moved to England a year and a half ago but I divide my time between my small fishing village and London.

AB: Is it important for you to have a foothold in Sweden?

RF: Yes, I have a thirteen year old son who lives there with his father. We're all very close so it's important for me to be where he is. We all travel together, we are a bit like a circus family. (laughs) My son goes to school and it was important not to break his habits and his circle of friends. Thirteen is an important age. With his father and his mother-in-law, we travel together as much as possible and we meet for the holidays. We make it work.

AB: What was your first encounter with cinema?

RF: I don't know how old I was anymore but I remember that when Beauty and the Beast came out in the cinema, I was scared but I still went to see it. I was upset because I was in love with the Beast and when he transformed into what everyone considered to be the perfect man, I found his new face not as alluring as his monster appearance. I wanted him to stay the Beast.

AB: When did you first consider being an actress?

RF: The funny thing is when I was young I never thought I would be an actress. I was fifteen or sixteen when I was taken to play in a series in Sweden. Before, I didn't like being on stage; I never took acting lessons in school. I was in a music school. I didn't have a lot of dreams or career plans. I was one of those kids who did what they were told to do. You have to go to school, do this, do that. You know the song; we call it the school system. Then when I was asked to do this casting for this show, I was terrified. I got the part and that's when my interest in acting started. I realized there was a world in which to hide. I could play characters without having to take responsibility for their actions... and apparently people thought I was good. Good enough to continue anyway.

AB: How did you find yourself participating in this casting?

RF: My mother had decided that I was going to model, even though I don't have the size or the body you would expect from a model. I ended up in a file called “normal people”. (laughs) I didn’t get a single job; it didn't suit me. My sister is a catwalk model so she knows how to do it. Me? Not at all. So I was on their file and I was constantly turning down jobs, I didn't want to do it. Then a casting agency was looking for an actress for this series having already selected the actors who would play her father and her mother. They flipped through model portfolios and then they found me.

AB: How did this first experience go? I saw that you had to act in several episodes a day.

RF: Yes, two and a half episodes a day. It was intense but I was thrown into a world I knew nothing about. I was a blank canvas. I had no expectations and didn't question how it worked. It made me realize that I love to work hard with imposed deadlines. I like to be thrown into difficult situations. It all happened naturally and I took this route.

AB: What was it like seeing yourself for the first time on TV?

RF: There is nothing natural about it. I remember that for the first episode in the series, my mother decided to have a big party with lots of guests. I was more excited about the evening than the rest and when the countdown to the screening started I remember feeling nauseous. I hid behind the sofa. It was very embarrassing. But on the other hand, I thought it was cool. It was a whole new situation, a new world open to me.

AB: After your debut in this Nya Tider series, did you take a break or did you continue to work non-stop?

RF: We actually shot for six months and then we had six months free. My stepfather at the time had the good idea to ask the production to hire me for the remaining six months. As I had left school, that meant I was employed full time, as an actress but also set manager, publicity assistant and everything the production needed when we weren't shooting. I learned everything behind the scenes, I was able to help with the script and the media part. It was the best job I had and it helped me understand the process better when I got back to shooting.

AB: What project did you work on next?

RF: Nothing happened for quite a while because it was a local show - I played a character that everyone associated me with. People recognized me and it was hard for some directors to see me in another role. Then a director called Richard Hobert offered me the lead role in his film “A One Way to Antibes”. It was my first role in the movies and from there I was able to meet agents. It was my gateway to the big screen.

AB: You then got the lead role in the BBC series “The White Queen”. Were you a fan of British television?

RF: Yes, my mother is English so I grew up watching UK programs. Yes Minister, Cracker ... there has been so much British TV in my life that this BBC production was perfect for my entry into the big leagues. This casting process has been probably the most exhilarating of my career. The racing heart, the hope, the doubt, the disappointment ... an emotional lift that I finally won.

AB: What doors have “The White Queen” opened to you?

RF: A lot. First of all, I was nominated for a Golden Globe in the “Best Actress in a Miniseries or Television Film” category which is crazy. I remember being nominated alongside Helen Mirren, Helena Bonham Carter, Elisabeth Moss, who won for her role in Top of the Lake. I was in the same room with people I admired a lot. I always felt like the little Swede who had no place in this extraordinary world. But “The White Queen” has caused meetings and a lot of castings. “A One-Way Trip to Antibes” gave me the opportunity to find an agent in London and the first casting I tried was for “The White Queen”. It was lucky but I also worked hard for this role.

AB: How do you manage the castings in general? Are you still anxious?

RF: At the beginning, everything revolves around castings and meetings. In fact no, before that there are the videos that you make yourself. You have to find monologues, film yourself with your best friend, your boyfriend or your mother. After that, it's the castings. We do so much and it goes very quickly. Sometimes there is a big blockbuster and they are looking for an actress at the last minute. There you are at the restaurant and you have to run to the toilet, grab your phone and do something. You have to prove yourself by putting forward a certain trait of your personality to stand out among the four hundred thousand people who try their luck. I've always liked going to castings. A lot of people I met there were great and understood the horror of the situation. They made me feel relaxed. Again, I would throw myself into situations without giving it much thought and hoping someone would notice me. If that doesn't work, you have to move on.

AB: Are there any mentors that you have met throughout your career?

RF: Yes, Veronica St Clair was my coach in Sweden. After playing on the show, I missed the end of my schooling so I couldn't go to college. I would have started from scratch. But I had worked for two years in nurseries, restaurants, supermarkets, etc. I had left home and was living an adult life at a young age. I saved some money to pay for my personal development classes which helped me better express myself and improvise. I also contacted film schools who still needed free actors for their end of year films. I've done a lot, I don't know how many student films. I took what I could take. Veronica was unbelievable, she did so much for me. She has prepared me for many challenges. But at one point, we have the chance to stop casting. We make appointments. The dynamics are changing. It's not just about pleasing a director anymore, we have to like the project too, that it brings us something.

AB: It becomes a conversation.

RF: Yes. Can this film stimulate me? Is the project right for me?

AB: At what point in your career have you felt your opinion was as important as pleasing a director?

RF: After Mission Impossible.

AB: How did the casting go for this film?

RF: I was filming a miniseries called “The Red Tent” for Lifetime. Tom told me he noticed me on “The White Queen”. It's a funny story from their side because they had auditioned a lot of women without being able to find the right one. They had already considered me for the role, but I didn’t make a good enough impression for them to stop casting. (laughs) Then they had to do it again because the chosen person didn't suit. They are very careful and don't say too much when they tell these stories. I always wanted to know who the other woman was. (laughs) Finally, resuming the auditions, they decided to give me my chance. I was in Morocco, sitting on the camel Nicole Kidman had used for the movie “Queen of the Desert”. They called me to tell me that Tom Cruise wanted to meet me. They wanted to see if I could fight. It was quite surreal. They brought in the stunt teams who created the choreography. I realized I loved it. I could use my dance knowledge, which I have been practicing from a young age. They were very good martial arts trainers. And then I ended up getting the part.

AB: How did you appropriate the character of Ilsa Faust?

RF: I don't feel like I appropriated it honestly. There are certain characters that I personalize. But when it comes to Mission Impossible, Christopher McQuarrie is such a great writer that I focused on physical training and being part of an already formed team. As an actress, you have to bring something personal, the way I walk, I talk, I frown, I think, will be reflected in the character. I'm not going too far into the secrets or shadows of the director. There is a precise technique in the creation of these films. You have to have confidence, know your text and arrive on time.

AB: Was it the first time that you had to have such great physical preparation and stunts to do?

RF: I had never had so much need to train and be in good shape. Like I said, I love challenges and working hard to achieve a goal. I remember Chris telling me in an interview, “Tom is a movie star. Simon Pegg isn't just his sidekick, he's smart, funny. Luther Stickell also brings something. All of these male characters add something to Mission Impossible. Who are you? What are you bringing?”. I remember thinking about it, telling myself that Ilsa's character had to fill a void, that the film would miss her if we took her away. I had to find meaning in it. It's a balance between following something that has been created and leaving an imprint. This is something Tom and Chris have done very well. Ilsa has a real mission, she saves Tom. She is his equal. This is not a vase. But she's also vulnerable, she's scared ... she feels things. There was a lot to do on this project, to live up to what already existed.

AB: You've been in a lot of action and science fiction movies. What attracts you to this kind of cinema?

RF: I think I am drawn to all genres of cinema. What happened was, I played in Mission Impossible and people loved Ilsa. I proved that I could act out the fight scenes myself and I loved it. I think these kinds of films came naturally to me. But I try to vary the genres. My dream is to shoot in independent films. I want to go where I have never been. And I haven't made an independent film yet. A lot of people fight to shoot in big Hollywood studio movies and I was lucky to have had those experiences.

[heartfullofpony]

Filly Vanilli

Filly Vanilli is an interesting episode. It starts with the Mane Six accidentally overhearing Fluttershy's singing voice. They are so enamored of its beauty, that they pressure her to sing in public. Of course, Fluttershy has stage fright and is far too nervous to even dream of it.

However, when Big Mac, who sings bass for the Ponytones, (a local a capella quartet), loses his voice, Fluttershy agrees to stand in for him (because the Ponytones are headlining a fundraiser she's holding to try to get animals adopted as pets).

Fluttershy, with Zecora's supervision, takes poison joke to bring out the low-voiced "Flutterguy" from Bridle Gossip. However, she still cannot bear to be seen singing in public, so she performs from behind a curtain while Big Mac mouths the words.

After the fundraiser is over, Fluttershy pressures the Ponytones to accept a series of minor gigs, just so she can continue to have an excuse to sing.

If the story sounds convoluted, that's because it is. By this point in the series, we'd heard Fluttershy sing many, many, many times.  It raises countless world building questions that it doesn't answer.

Does the Mane Six's lack of awareness of the sound of Fluttershy's singing mean that ponies are not conscious of their own voices during musical numbers? Do they even know they're singing at all, or is it some sort of mass spell that ties into Equestrian magic?

Also, what makes Fluttershy's voice so special?

The VA does a great job, and her singing sounds both authentically in character, and thoroughly polished. However, so does everypony else's. Almost everypony in Equestria can sing.

If, in the context of everyday life, Fluttershy's singing voice is so unusual, I cannot help but wonder if the musical numbers we hear are not the characters' actual voices, but rather, magical projections of emotion - idealized vocalizations of what the characters are feeling.

I'm not going to get into the continuity problems this episode causes, especially since we saw Fluttershy perform on stage in "Hearth's Warming Eve," and she (presumably) joined in during the carol at the end, (which was not a musical number, but rather, an on stage performance). I'm not even going to get into the way that this episode used Pinkie as a plot device, repeatedly having her monologue at Fluttershy to stoke her deepest and most terrifying anxieties for comic effect. Pinkie Pie had always been depicted as "random," and operating on a different wavelength as everypony else, but her over-the-top lack of sensitivity to Fluttershy's feelings is a bit much in this episode - even for Pinkie.

You could write entire volumes on the logistical flaws in the premise of this episode, but in my opinion, absolutely none of that matters. I care a great deal about continuity, but at the end of the day, Filly Vanilli had tremendous heart.

That matters more.

I am a musician, and I have spent my entire life struggling uphill not to be self conscious about my voice. Watching Fluttershy take joy in singing from behind the curtain, for me, is pure bliss. It captures everything that makes music beautiful - the freedom, the ecstasy, the abandonment of inhibition.

With every passing gig in this episode's montage, Fluttershy's performance gets more and more improvisational. Music becomes a drug to her, and, for personally, I find it incredibly satisfying to watch.

If at age 39, I could identify with this episode so viscerally, that means that somewhere out there, there's a kid who saw themselves in Fluttershy, and got a little bit more confident because of it.

At the end of the day, that's what this show is really about.

The writing on MLP was, for the most part, rather exemplary, and we should all applaud its continuity. It's even okay to pick at logistical errors. That's part of geekdom. That's part of the fun. However, we should also remember that the primary focus of this series is, and has always been, to speak emotional truths.

Filly Vanilli told a darn powerful story full of hope and joy and triumph.

Last but not least, I want to applaud this episode for not taking any shortcuts.

In the very end, after Fluttershy had been exposed as the secret singer, we see her performing with the Ponytones...finally as her mezzo-soprano self.

At the end of the song, it's revealed that her audience had consisted only of her five friends and her animal companions. When asked if she is ready to join the Ponytones permanently, she replies that she is not - that she will get their eventually, but that it'll take baby steps to get there.

Often times movies and TV, (pony included), emphasize that the big finale - the big triumph at the end of the story - should resolve all of the character's internal woes. In real life, it's almost always about baby steps - hard work on self improvement every single day.

I applaud MLP for acknowledging that, and I am grateful that this episode exists and manages to encapsulate so much rapture and so much joy, even if the premise itself presents logistical problems.

Discuss. -Sprocket

If you enjoy essays like these, please consider supporting my work on Patreon.

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[teacup-baphomet]

G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)

tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp*  i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.

Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )

"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.

"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…

 Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.

"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"

Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"

 Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.

"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his  and his eyes scrunched shut.

 'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'

 Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.

 "Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."

Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he  continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"

 The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.

 "Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...

 Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.

'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.

Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.

-----------

So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.

But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)

And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.

So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.

Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):

Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.

Kyvlar: a random dude what?

Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….

Kyvlar: *stares blankly*

Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????

Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-

Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?

Kyvlar: Yes????

Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??

Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…

Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.

-----------

One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).