#i can imagine things but i don't SEE them i just can imagine how it would be to see them
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✘ WIP DIARY ── LAST NIGHT, I READ YOUR DIARY. (p.sh) ✘
Sunghoon has been trying be everything you need since your mother passed. A father, a friend, a therapist. You never really understood what your mother saw in him in the first place, if you’re being honest. He’s awkward, quiet, and typically used to keep to himself up until now. You’re impressed with his efforts by the time you’re entering into your senior year of college, though his entire demeanor towards you seems to have changed. or the one where your step-father grows obsessed with you minute by minute.
── step-dad /weirdo park sunghoon x afab reader
── minors dni
── tags: sunghoon is in his 30s, reader is in her 20s so, age gap, step-cest, heartbreak, obsession, manipulation, coercion, stockholm syndrome-ish, fluff if he manipulates you as a reader lmfao, angst, smut. don't read this if you are easily triggered. ── side characters: heeseung as reader's ex boyfriend, jay as reader's closest friend
── !WARNINGS!: this work contains non-con, dub-con, and stalking behavior. your mom isn’t alive in this fic. warnings will be updated as i write.
── a/n: this one is gonna be a wild ride, that's all i gotta say.
LAST UPDATED: 12.22.24
⨯ est wordcount: 20k+ ⨯ current wordcount: 5.4k ⨯ est release date: tbd ⨯ taglist: ask to be on my perma tag list!
playlist ⨯ recommended song: last night i read your diary - gürl She's got me down on my knees I beg, I beg, I, I beg, I beg, please! I want it more than I need And I need it like I need to breathe Like I'm losing my- Choke.
PREVIEW (3.1k):
no warnings apply to the preview, it's just the first couple of thousand words for this fic. aka, the intro and the set up for what will inevitably happen later:
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Your first heartbreak is meant to be painful, but this? This is more painful than you could have ever imagined.
Heeseung was one of your only constants in life. From childhood to high school it’s like he was there more than your own mother was, and certainly more than your own father. Even when she passed, Heeseung was the one who held you through it, he’s the one who made you smile again, he’s the one who made you feel like it was okay to heal and keep going.
It’s the fact that it was a mutual break up that hurts the most because deep down, you couldn’t see yourself without him. Yet, still, you willingly watched him hop on the plane with a short kiss and long goodbye. It felt so final to you. You could have handled a long distance relationship, truly. But Heeseung didn’t want that. He wanted to explore the world, he wanted to try new things, be with new people.
Do things without you clinging to him all the time.
In a way, you understand that. After all, you’re the only girl he had ever been with up until now. Senior year of college. You think you knew your relationship was coming to an end by the time he announced he was going to be studying abroad for his final year without ever once even telling you he was applying to do so.
So, yeah, it was mutual solely because you want him to be happy and he’s made it clear that he believes that can only happen without you. Such is life. Painful, painful fucking life.
Just last year when your mother passed, you nearly dropped out and Heeseung had been your rock to make it through class after class with a grade barely high enough to pass. You’re certain some of your professors took pity on you and raised your grade just enough to move forward. You’ll forever thank them for recognizing how hard you were trying. But now? Without your mother, without Heeseung, you’re at a loss.
And there’s a difference between loneliness and isolation, you think. Loneliness to you always hits hard during small spaces in your day, like when you’d get into Heeseung’s car and he would close your door for you. The silence always hurt your ears while he was still making his way around the car to the driver’s seat. A shallow loneliness that you could feel right at the top of your gut, like it was squeezing inside of you and making you lose your appetite. Solely because that silence reminded you of what you always had, a lack of loneliness because of him.
But then there’s isolation. Where it feels forced upon you by other people. Your mother fucking died, Heeseung fucking left, and now you’re just here expected to wake up like you always do, go to class, study hard, sleep well, when the reality of it is– you’re genuinely struggling just to look at yourself in the mirror.
Then there’s Sunghoon. The only person close enough to you now that you can reach out to. The issue with that is– you’ve never actually been close. And that’s what sucks. The fact that he of all people is all you have now? May as well just assume you have nobody.
His regular calls mean close to nothing to you in the grand scheme of things. Despite him calling twice a week every week since your mother died, your step-father is just as distanced from you as you are him. You’re aware that it’s his obligation, not because he cares. And that hurts, because it’s all you have now.
Now, you have to try and find meaning in those short calls. After all, Sunghoon fell apart when your mother passed all on his own and you had only called him out of obligation too. You were already in college and stressed, falling apart yourself with someone to love beside you helping you through it. Calling him when it all happened felt empty because you knew both of you were trying to hold it together and save face.
It wasn’t like this before she died. In fact, he never called and you never cared for him to. You’d see each other when you were home, share awkward pleasantries, and that’s it. It’s hard to believe that now you feel like you need a father, after all those years of practically rejecting him as one. He seemed fine with that after you hit your teen years. He knew by then that he could never be the father you want, but at least he could be the husband your mother needed.
You have grief in common now though. Loneliness. Isolation.
You try not to think about how you were okay up until now though. Having Heeseung to fall back on to soften the blow of your loss, you guess Sunghoon didn’t have that. Maybe his monotone voice and empty words were his way of coping, his way of hearing a voice that wasn’t the one in his own head when he calls you.
It’s just you and a man you never considered family past the titles and obligatory respects. Finding meaning in his short phone calls does nothing to help your growing isolation, but you cling to them now that Heeseung is gone. You wait for the calls, you ask him to check in with you every day now, to the point Sunghoon starts to notice the difference in you.
No longer rushing to get off the phone. Now, you’re dragging on meaningless conversations. Now, he hears cracks in your voice.
“You feeling okay?” Sunghoon asks you, in a way that makes you wonder how he’s able to tell that you’re definitely not. The way his own voice has a bit of life to it when he asks it…strange too. Like he’s concerned.
“No–” You trail off in your meek voice, staring at your ceiling and mind swirling with all of the work you need to get done for classes already. “I’ve only been in classes for a week and I already feel like I’m drowning.”
Sunghoon sighs into the speaker, contemplating how to further the conversation with you in a way that isn’t too intrusive. After all, who is he to pry? Still, he never intended for you to feel neglected or like you couldn’t come to him. After all, you were too happy about his lack of parenting you throughout his presence in your life.
He finds solace in the fact that you’ve been accepting him now, though he hasn’t the slightest idea as to why. He’s checked in with you since the passing, but lately it feels to him like something more is going on with you. He may be somewhat estranged, and he may have his own problems to deal with, but you’re still someone he needs to be here for.
Plus, it makes him feel needed again, which is nice considering the circumstances. After living in this bustling house with you and your mom for so long, to it just being him and your mom, to now just him…all that remains now is dread, dissociation, and unwashed dishes in the sink.
“Did something happen?” Sunghoon keeps his questions short, offering more silence if anything for you to use this call as a therapy session if you need.
You pause for a long moment, realizing that you want to talk about your issues so badly but don’t quite feel the need to share it with him of all people. You’ve already ranted day after day to Jay. To the point you’re sure he’s about one rant away from blocking your number.
Probably because you’re not that close to him either. Not these days, anyway.
You sigh instead.
“No…” You trail off. “I think I just miss being home. My dorm mate is never here, class work is already piling up, and I can’t even find the energy to look at the assignments.”
Sunghoon can tell you’re feeling much like he does and he can’t imagine the weight on your shoulders dealing with these feelings while also in college. But, you have Heeseung, do you not? You’ve been fine for the most part until now, and you haven’t even brought him up. Not once in the past few weeks has his name been uttered by you. Which is strange, after all, the two of you were practically attached at the hip growing up, to the point of choosing the same college, working the same jobs, and even keeping that middle-school puppy love in full swing throughout highschool and college.
If anything, after your mother passed, Sunghoon felt okay knowing you had Heeseung there with you to help you through it. It meant he could focus on himself and getting through the day-to-day. He could barely handle his own mournful thoughts, let alone the daughter’s feelings of the woman he loved so dearly. He was forever grateful for Heeseung during this time.
He has his suspicions now though, and his heart aches for the voice he hears from you these days.
“Why don’t you come home for a while?” He lends a pause to see if you’ll jump for the opportunity before selling the idea to you. “I have the bills here covered and your campus is only a forty minute drive. I’m sure that’s inconvenient but you won’t have bills to worry about on top of everything else.” He doesn’t want to sound too desperate, of course.
After all, the loneliness he’s feeling is also becoming unbearable. Even if the two of you never were able to see eye to eye, or to form a bond together, you’re all he has left of your mother. He, arguably, is nothing to you, but there’s no one else in this world he’d rather heal the loneliness with outside of you. Only because you knew your mother on a level deeper than he did, and to have someone to share those memories with, or even laugh with, would help him tremendously too.
“I think being at home may do you some good.”
You think it over in your head, wondering if being home will help you at all. In reality, you know it may make you feel more trapped than you do now. All those memories with your mother, with Heeseung, with all of your friends that have since moved to different colleges.
But…you wouldn’t be alone. You’d be with someone who knows how to give you space because he’s never even tried to shrink your existence to that of your bedroom and your bedroom alone. You wouldn’t have to worry about rent, food, or anything aside from studies, gas money, and trying to heal from your heartbreak.
Your dorm is small, you note as you look around the room and wonder how long it would take you to pack your things up. Two hours, give or take. The longest part would be taking all of the little decorations off the wall, if you’re being honest.
You find yourself nodding before answering, solidifying in your mind that– maybe you’re not the only one who needs company in your space. Not too close, but close enough to not be totally isolated.
���Okay.” You mutter into the phone, for some reason feeling the tears well up behind your eyes.
You’re just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all. Knowing you’re going home feels like a relief you didn’t know you needed.
“Yeah?” Sunghoon confirms. “Just let me know when and I’ll drive up there to help get your stuff back home.”
You agree, sighing into the phone with a shaking voice. Sunghoon takes note of it, always remembering and quite frankly missing how loud and obnoxious you used to be. Hearing you like this pains him. He wants to help. Now more than ever is his chance to be someone you need, and he hates knowing he feels happy about it.
Getting to be your father now? It feels awkward, but at least it’s a feeling other than loss.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Sunghoon sighs at you through the speaker. “I know I’m not someone you like coming to but–well, I’d like for you to rely on me more, okay?”
You find a lot of comfort in those words, despite hearing him say them time and time again. This is the first time he’s ever shown that he means it through the offer of bringing you home, rather than just saying it and accepting whatever you say back to him at face value.
“I know…” You trail off. “I’m okay though, really.”
Sunghoon hates himself for never forcing you to accept him. Sure, there may have been some teenage defiance towards him, but eventually the two of you could have seen eye to eye. He could have been someone you needed. You could have relied on him too, rather than just Heeseung. That’s all he can really think right now.
“Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?” The man nearly pleads in his tone, desperate to have someone rely on him again. “I’ve never heard you sound so exhausted before, I can’t help but worry.”
You’d tell him, but honestly, what grown ass man wants to hear about a first heartbreak? It would just get awkward again, he’d just feel obligated to do something about it, and worse, he might end up feeling like he’s supposed to dislike Heeseung now.
You choose to remain silent in the final straw that broke your back this semester.
“Really, I’m just tired.” You nod to yourself as you hold your phone loosely against your ear. “I might not go to class tomorrow and just pack instead. I’ll just call you when I’m ready, is that okay?”
Sunghoon smiles to himself, wanting to mean something to you in a way that can hopefully help you out of this slump. Your mother would be throwing a fit if she heard how you’ve been sounding, he can’t help but take over that role and try to make damn sure you are okay.
“That’s fine,” Sunghoon confirms. “I’ll call and let them know what’s going on so don’t worry about any of that. Just get yourself ready to come back home.”
You find yourself smiling, relieved that you don’t have to be the one to contact your school and tell them that…well, you’re breaking your student-lease, dropping your food plan, and need to be reimbursed for partial tuition costs since Sunghoon insists every semester that you purchase tuition insurance. You should no longer be charged to live on campus, or for the facilities within the dorm.
Knowing you’ll at least get back a couple thousand dollars is a nice change of pace, and already you’re feeling weirdly excited to go back to a space that will likely make you miss your mother more. It’ll hurt, but at least you won’t be alone anymore.
The forty minute drive to campus feels less horrifying now, and maybe your friends will still come and hang out with you in your actual home rather than a tiny dorm.
“Sounds good.” You say, as if to end the call before you mutter out again. “Thank you, by the way. Sunghoon, really.”
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Sunghoon knew he was spiraling further and further into his loneliness. He knew it wasn’t healthy either, but now. Oh, now he realizes just how bad it’s gotten as he demonizes himself upon picking you up.
You haven’t come home since your mother’s funeral, and even on that day he barely remembers what you looked like. Eye contact was never a thing for him, but looking at you now, he sees how much you’ve matured since you went off to college.
Your once bright, excited eyes have turned dull and empty. The bags under them are heavy from lack of sleep. Your lips appear to be in a permanent state of pouting, though he isn’t sure if you’ve noticed. You appear to have lost weight, which is concerning for him of course, but…there’s something else about you.
Something that sits in the pit of his stomach and rots.
“Uh–” You cough, noting the way Sunghoon looks at you as you try to hand him a large box. “Thank you for helping me move my stuff back…”
Sunghoon snaps out of his thoughts, grabbing a heavy box and then waiting for you to stack another on top.
“No big deal,” He mutters, feeling the weight in his hands double as he prepares to carefully carry your things out to his car. “You haven’t come home in over a year, but I’ve fixed up your room for you and went ahead and connected my gaming system in there.”
You nod quietly, feeling awkward for how fatherly he seems.
“Thanks…” You trail off, flopping a pile of your things into his trunk before stopping to look at him. “You look like shit.”
Sunghoon furrows his brows, noticing for a split second how that facial expression you made is very similar to one his wife used to throw at him when he’d have hair out of place, or a wardrobe malfunction. And then he smiles.
“You’re not looking too good yourself.” He jokes back.
You smile back at him, feeling a bit of the awkward air fizzle away.
“Well, I’m not doing well, so.”
You were continuing the joke, but his face falls before yours does.
“You can talk to me–” He starts.
“I know, I know.” You wave him off. “I’ll feel a lot better once we get back and I can settle in.
There’s a nod from him now, and then silence as the two of you continue to put the rest of your belongings into both his car and your own.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you in a bit?” You say now, awkwardly.
Sunghoon nods, looking you over once again.
“See you in a bit.”
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Shame.
Pure fucking shame.
Sunghoon knew he needed another presence in this house but upon seeing you again, he knew it may have been a mistake.
He likes to think of himself as level headed. He’s never gotten into any trouble, never had a stray thought, never cheated, lied, or stole anything. He can’t think of a single thing that he’s done in life to be considered taboo. But looking at you feels…incorrect?
Indecent?
You’re his step-daughter for fuck sake but it’s the fact that you don’t feel like you are. When he looks at you, he just sees another person. He did this to help you, he did this to feel needed, to be your fucking father.
He did not do this to look at you this way or to feel his eye stray even without his intention.
Why do you look so much like her? Why do you do that thing with your pinky when you carry things like she did? You even have a similar smell, probably having picked up on your mother’s habits throughout childhood.
You being here…It’s like she’s still here. Except it’s you, and he can’t be thinking this way.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
This fic will be dark, very taboo, morally bad. Not a grey area, it is blatantly bad. sunghoon will do bad things. Please be aware of your own triggers once it's completed and posted. remember that I write within my own triggers, not yours. That being said! Please do show lots of love if this is a fic you're interested in reading! If you want to be tagged, I have a permanent tag list, there are not any separate tag lists for individual fics so keep that in mind. ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
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It's a fascinating question and the answer doesn't speak to it at all. We're talking about swapping perceptions, you know, the hypothetical thing that could answer those "What if my blue is your red?" ponderings. Were that the case and you were to swap, you would start seeing everything red as blue and vice versa, but you would be able to tell this. That's a controversial point, but we aren't proposing a full qualia inversion here; your internal concepts of red and blue haven't changed, just the way that your brain maps sensory stimuli to your qualia has. You can imagine red, and it's red as you have always imagined it, you just look at a red delicious apple and you see it as blue. (Actually a fascinating question whether people would agree with this assessment, and has me wondering about people with aphantasia specifically about if they think their 'red as they have always imagined it' can be separated from the way things with that color look to them. I'm getting off track.)
But this swap is different. Semiotics refers to the meanings that things have; for instance, the way you are looking at these squiggles or hearing these sound waves and taking them as a message. I am intending a meaning now as I type these words out, and you are taking away a meaning as you perceive them, and though it won't quite be the same meaning it is related. There's a question of where exactly the meaning you perceive is; is it in the message itself? Is it just contained in the context around it? Was it put there by me? Is it only there when you read or hear it?
And now specifically we're talking about abstract objects, things which aren't concrete; for instance, words as words, not images or sounds but the thing that those patterns invoke. Things where it is already an interesting philosophical question about how exactly it is that they exist. (For those with the bent to ponder it and not just go 'Uh, they just do, duh' because yeah that's fair.) And that's just one example of an abstract object. It's not all messages. There are numbers. There are complex mathematical objects, like groups and rings and fields. Are things like "peace" abstract objects?
If we do this swap of perceptions, so you perceive the meaning of an abstract thing to be the meaning that I perceive... What are you perceiving, exactly? Is it the thing anymore? Is this even truly a swap of perceptions or is it rather a swap of thoughts? If you took one piece of my mental model of the world and swapped it out with one of yours, how would it fit in? Would it fit in at all? It's fascinating.
The world isn't shrouded in darkness. There's not some blinding fog that has settled over everything. You can observe the world, make sense of parts of it, peer into its mysteries and try to think of answers. Yeah, it's confusing and a lot of pieces of it are out of reach but that's just because the world is so fucking big and complicated and so many parts we simply lack the faculties to possess. This question is that lovely kind of philosophical pondering that is fundamentally unresolvable and by all rights has no practical purpose... But we can still talk about it, and in talking about it, we can share ideas and work through how it is we think of things. If nothing else, we can enjoy ourselves. And that's as practical a purpose as anything else.
Don't see something you can't think of how to answer and decide that it cannot be answered and that now is a time to shrink away to safe thoughts that can be trusted. Ponder whatever bullshit that strikes your fancy, and try to think about what the answers would be. Even if you can fundamentally never find out if you're right or wrong, the thinking itself is a worthwhile exercise. Encourage other people to do it too, though don't try to force it; different people have their own sorts of funtime questioning. I've got things like this, some people have how much prep time Batman would need to defeat Shrek in a fight.
equally confounded and obsessed by this quora question and response that i just stumbled onto
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I actually do think that doing magic takes a lot of work and is kinda hard and there aren't very many good shortcuts, and many modern shortcuts actually just amount to leaving out steps, which means you either have to be powerful enough to brute-force it or it fizzles.
Look, I know some people are just much better at magic and witchcraft; anything they do works with little effort, and the lengths some of us have to go to accomplish magic seems bizarre to them. Those people are cool and I wish I was like them but I'm not.
But I also think some of the truth of how to work effective sorcery gets paved over by these "witchcraft has no rules, do anything you want" support posts.
Because A) that is not true, I believe that witchcraft has lots and lots of rules (it's just that nobody else can tell you what they are), and B) I think do anything you want is taken to mean anything you do should work, which is also not true.
I feel like I always see advice given that you don't need to do things (like use physical tools, or cast circles, or whatever). But I never see anyone explaining the techniques and paths of power that are supposed to replace them.
Let's just imagine for a moment that clear quartz really is a universal substitute. Discordians would say that it totally is. So does that mean all you have to do to sub out clear quartz is to just put it on the altar and do the ritual as if it's something else?
Or do you have to do something more?
Do you have to consecrate the stone as being something other than what it is? Do you have to ritually birth it into a new life and baptize it like a baby? Do you have to spend weeks or months honing your technique of focus and beliefs so that you can mentally shift from consensus reality to a personal reality where there is literally no difference between clear quartz and sodalite?
Do you have to raise energies of sodalite and imprint them into the quartz crystal, perhaps working over it for an extended period of time? Do you have to use energy work to tie the clear quartz into Ideal Sodalite so that it becomes like an avatar?
No, you don't have to use physical tools if you don't want to. But that shouldn't be taken to imply that tools are useless or can be replaced in a way that matters by just visualizing that you have them.
A witch spends six months propitiating a tree, ingratiating themselves with the land, offerings and acts of fealty to the tree, a week-long branch harvesting ritual, blood offerings at midnight on a holy day, then another year curing the wood and crafting a wand. Big effort, right?
And you don't need to do that. But if you want that power, what are you going to do instead?
Same with circle-casting. Same with magic on the full moon. No, you don't have to wait until the full moon. You don't have to wait until the moon is in Libra. But there's a really good reason people do those things. So if you want those effects, what actions can replace those effects?
You literally could not do the spell while the full moon is in Libra. That's fine. But then what will bridge the gap? Will you have to raise more energy somewhere else? Include a new aspect? Modify the spell for the moon you can work with?
"You don't have to follow the moon phase for magic" doesn't mean the moon phase is irrelevant and some witches just like to inconvenience themselves for no reason. But it does mean that you can probably adapt your working to overcome the moon being in the inopportune phase.
Every time I talk about how much time, energy, and effort magic can be I feel like someone always replies, "well, it's just not that hard for me! I do what I want with what I have when I need it and it always just works, with very little effort."
Which I think is very great for them, but I also don't think that most people can get results with such low effort.
So anyway my entire point is that I think sometimes the reason people struggle with getting witchcraft to work is because they are operating off of out-of-context soundbites that make it sound like you can just completely cut out some of these foundational concepts of witchcraft.
Maybe you don't have to accomplish those steps in traditional ways. Maybe you don't need all of those steps for every spell you're doing.
But if you've just cut out swaths of steps only because you heard someone say you don't need them (not because of your own experiments working with magic and determining what works best for you), then is there enough left to constitute a functional system of magic?
#don't worry even I am lowkey board of my apparently traditional phase#is this a seasonal thing? am I tedious because it's winter?#I can almost guarantee some time late march I'll be making a post like yeah fuck the moon and circles anything you want is real#beginner witch#witchblr#tbl
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There's something important I've been wanting to share with fellow snake caretakers, and it's that if you have been sweet to your snake and love them, they have probably told you hundreds of times they love you- but because we speak different languages most won't understand. It makes me a little sad thinking how hard they try to tell us, and some folks just don't recognize that and they hope their serpentine friends love them but never know for sure- or even believe the lie snakes aren't even capable of love at all. They are, they have brain structures similar to birds and not only are physically capable of feeling love, they also regularly display traits associated with love including empathy and self sacrifice to protect others they care about both in captivity and the wild.
Snakes express love through touch. Through cuddling, and vibing (being near someone not touching just happy to be in their company). There's another outdated lie that snakes cannot and will never enjoy being pet - likely this comes from someone seeing cats and dogs lick their young and enjoying being pet because it feels similar to what is natural to them but since snakes do not lick their young it was believed they could not enjoy this sensation outside of their nature.
But that's wrong. It IS their nature! They just don't use their tongue, they use their whole body! Thing is, a lot of people who see them slither over another snake don't realize it's more than just them going somewhere, and they think they're carelessly going over another snake. Sometimes that may be the case, but touch is also how they bond. I read an article detailing how a mother snake was tolerant of her babies climbing all over her. Tolerant? It's like if a toddler hugged their mommy and said they loved her- tolerant would be such a strange word to use. They are telling their mommy they love her through their very limited means of communication.
Isn't it incredibly sweet that a creature who is so so limited in communication made sure to have a way to say, "I love you." I think that's just the best news ever.
If you doubt what I'm saying well, a number of snake keepers can vouch for me they've also accidentally discovered that touch can also be romantic if you touch the wrong place where most wouldn't expect it to be.
But the point I'm trying to make is, I bet there's tons of people with pet snakes who are telling them over and over they love them, hoping their human understands. If your snake doesn't do this action it doesn't need they don't love you- it would come from them not having figured it out. They learn not just from instinct, but from each other. Not having a parent snake to teach them (like some species including rattlesnakes) they have to figure out everything on their own for the most part.
Many figure out how to express, "I love you" through touch. Most snake caretakers I imagine don't recognize the attempt to communicate as anything more than the animal slithering around- but if you look for it you might see your pet telling you! If they are on you and start slithering around but not going anywhere in particular (sometimes back and forth) ESPECIALLY if you pet your snake and they relax/enjoy it- they are probably trying to pet you. And in doing so, show they care about you too, that they love you.
Scoria pets me with her chin, and I've never heard of anyone else's snake do this. She has, however, taught this to her sister who now pets me both ways.
It would be neat to hear if anyone sees their snake doing this and realizing what it really means. (Your snake might have even learned another way if you don't pet them and show them love another way- sometimes they learn by copying us too.)
Hope this helps someone- please share if your snake has a way they show they love you, I see very little on this from other caretakers and would be so happy to hear if others have similar experiences.
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You know that conversation you can have with Emmrich where he asks what your plans are for your body when you die?
I think Arsinoë accidentally horrified him. Not by clinging to non-Nevarran ideals about cremation, but by telling him she never thought anyone would care that much one way or the other.
She would be dead, so she wouldn't care. And honestly, a majority of compradi die as Fledglings without graduating; she thinks their bodies were probably burned (since you have to do something with bodies) but they certainly don't have funerals, so it certainly wasn't worth worrying about then.
Emmrich interjects, trying to wrangle his own shock long enough to point out that she's not a Fledgling now, so surely...?
Well if she dies now, Arsinoë all but shrugs, it would depend on the circumstances, wouldn't it? She isn't someone important like a Talon or the scion of an established Crow family. She certainly isn't Caterina Dellamorte, who warrants something verging on a State Funeral.
If she died, there is still a non-zero chance it would be at another Crow's hands, in which case it's anyone's guess what happens after.
If she dies honorably fulfilling a contract, then Viago might feel obligated to do something if he isn't pissed off at her failure and she's isn't still in Exile. He's her mentor, so probably he would manage at least a small pyre. Maybe even a flower or two for the flames if he's letting himself feel sentimental. Teia would probably be there because Viago was.
But just as often, when a contract goes wrong, there's no time to go back for the body. The mark get ahold of it, or whoever's left on the contract has to focus on survival rather than the dignity of a corpse that can't feel any of it.
But really, none of that would matter to Arsinoë, would it? She'd be off wherever dead souls end up going, or maybe in oblivion, who knows. She doesn't have any family to be horrified by her corpse unless you count Viago, who is Fifth Talon, has bigger things to worry about, and will get over it.
But anyway, why do you ask, Emmrich?
Emmrich is too aghast to answer clearly at that point because every single point of Arsinoë's answer goes so deeply against everything that is ingrained in him as part of the Mourn Watch, from the belief that a corpse just doesn't matter to her sincere belief that no one would care enough about her for any particular mourning rights.
And the thing is Emmrich does care. It's his professional duty to care, but he's also become fond of his young friend and he cannot handle imagining that she could die on this mission or the next and potentially receive no rites at all.
Cue Emmrich starting to plan how he's going to have Rook interred in the Grand Necropolis when the time comes. It may involve some string pulling, especially if (hopefully) she dies not on this mission but in the distant future, and even more so if he precedes her and has to leave the job in one of his colleague's hands. But Maker help him, there will be a plan and her death will be respected.
When it comes to light, Neve is uncertain and a little weirded out, but also a little offended by all this. She's fallen in love with Rook, but even before that, the respect between them would have warranted a pyre and Arsinoë's name on the Wall of Light if there was no one else to arrange things. Is this why she's never asked about what happened after Varric-
Lucanis is horrified by the idea of Arsinoë as one of the spirit-possessed skeletons in the Necropolis or one of the jewel-eyed skulls in its many niches; he snaps at Emmrich about Nevarran obsession and respecting Rook as Antivan.
Emmrich refuses to budge. She expected the Crows to do nothing for her. She deserves better, deserves to be remembered, even if she isn't Nevarran.
Lucanis seems fully stunned by the idea that Rook believed this in the first place, given Viago's attachment. Given Lucanis's own growing feelings. Emmrich does soften a little bit when he sees that Lucanis truly didn't realize, but he also doesn't fully divert his plans.
Gathering a grave-dowry is normally left to a lover or family member if the deceased was themselves unable, and Emmrich is neither. But needs must, and though his friend now seems attached to Neve and Lucanis, hearts can be fickle. A plan is better. So he puts away small things here or there, eyes which of Rook's enchanted rings and amulets she seems to favor just in case.
It almost helps him live with the knowledge that Arsinoë believed she would die unmourned. Almost.
#Emmrich Volkarin#Lucanis Dellamorte#Neve Gallus#Rook de Riva#Arsinoë de Riva#Viago de Riva#Rook#Crow Rook#DATV Spoilers#Mostly implied but if you catch it it's a big one#mourning rights and death mentioned but IDK how to tag exactly#long post#neve x rook#rook x neve#lucanis x rook#rook x lucanis#rookanis#neve x lucanis is there off screen but not in the text
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wow! it feels weird for this moon (and ravenstar's leadership/arc to finally be over)... i have some Thoughts, particularly about the exiled trio!
patchback -- i like that, of the three, she's the only one who looks genuinely angry. the same is true when ravenstar is killed. levi and sleepydawn look more surprised in that instance as well. given her history, this is the SECOND time patchback has been exiled. i imagine that she enjoys being a part of a clan. possibly, being exiled for the first time was the worst thing that ever happened to her, so when cherrystar gave her a chance, patchback chose to try and "adapt," to be whoever cherrystar would accept. but then ravenstar gave her the room to be herself... surely, with his support, and levi as deputy, then patchback will never have to fear exile again? ha! wrong.
levi -- levi only joined fallenclan after realizing an opportunity to hold power awaited him. i highly doubt levi cares about clan life. i think he's disappointed/annoyed, but not particularly "devestated" in the way that i imagine patchback is. levi will just... move on with his life, and try to find power somewhere else. i think he and patchback will stick together, since they're friends, and there's power in numbers. i believe levi likes power, but doesn't like to be the one making decisions (he likes his second-in-command spot imo). so, with ravenstar gone, patchback becomes his first-in-command. better yet, i imagine levi enjoyed ravenstar, but didn't like him. levi actually likes patchback, so being her second-in-command, backing her up, or better yet, being her partner is especially appealing.
sleepydawn -- he just looks numb. after ravenstar's death, i imagine he quickly resigned himself to what his fate would be. it's also noteworthy that his mate, ashblink, won't be joining him. ashblink could easily have chosen to leave with sleepydawn, but didn't. their relationship felt very shallow from the beginning. while i do think they care about each other, i think sleepydawn's loyalty to ravenstar would always come over his affection for ashblink, and ashblink would ultimately realize that sleepydawn isn't looking for love. within their interactions, ashblink is shown being caring/supportive (as best he can) towards sleepydawn, who looks bored/disinterested or rebuffs him. sleepydawn doesn't know how to be in a relationship. he needs to sort his own shit out before having a boyfriend. i think there's a 50/50 chance that sleepydawn will set out on his own, and try to "find himself" while also seething in bitterness and grief, versus deciding to throw in his lot with patchback and levi.
silly idea: patchback starts her own clan (ravenclan? after the first cat to ever """accept""" her for who she is) with levi as deputy. sleepydawn joins. teeheehee. it would be funny, but in all likelihood, i think the three of them will just have to face reality and Cope rather than getting any sort of resolution they would have hoped for.
anyway, yay wolfstar!!! yay kestrelfeather! yay pondshine and flamefall and cloudtuft!! yippee!! i love how happy wolfstar looks for once, and i was delighted to see broccoli and pepperswipe <3 i know sweetclover is so proud... but also trying to be there for her parents
also finchbeak kits next moon! is the father chumtail or flamefall? or a mysterious, third cat... comment down below! /j
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MY GOD dragon once again you have hit the nail perfectly on the head... i don't even need to make an explanation post you got it in one. incredible
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Ok, seeing the post about the playlist, you mentioned how Breakdown only gets his act together after finding out that Bee was carrying
So it got me thinking (and this has actually been in my mind since i first came across the au tbh), but how was it while Bee was like, carrying?? There's the fact that, at first, many of the bots probably don't like Breakdown too since, well, he was not the best bf let's be honest.
Idk, I'm just curious to how things were before Breakcheck came to see the world
(Im going out of town for a week and cant draw so im just answering this with a straight up fanfiction-esk paragraph I’m so sorry wish I could be artistic for you anon)
Long story short: the Autobots are very forgiving but they can also be petty motherfuckers.
I mean they welcomed Megatron among their ranks and treat him (for the most part) as an equal and sometimes even a friend. Of course, Megatron earned that trust after years and years of repentance.
I imagine Breakdown is going through a similar arc. He’s never really been THAT loyal to the Decepticon cause. He just… kinda ended up there and didn’t care enough to do anything about it. He views Autobots as these goody, righteous people that he doesn’t feel like he belongs with. So really… what’s left besides Decepticons (considering yourself a neutral at one point was pretty much a death wish. A faction was the only way to acquire any sort of Energon or medical attention. Something Optimus tried hard to avoid, but the reality was safety in numbers.) the only kinship Breakdown ever felt was with the Stunticons… and they’ve been scattered to who knows where… if they’re even still alive.
Except he did have one friend. A friend he’s somehow managed to keep despite being on opposite sides of the war. He tried to convince Bee to join the Decepticons a few times but it was never with genuine intent. Bee was too good for the Cons; Breakdown knew that. He asked to get a rile out of him more than anything. Of course Bee would retort with his own argument of why BD should defect. He was serious about it… but Breakdown knew his place. He’d already done too much…
Now the war is over. And the leader of his faction doesn’t even believe in the cause anymore. Now, Breakdown’s never been a fan of Megatron anyways, but he sure as hell is pissed off when he abandons them to go be buddies with the Autobots. Maybe Breakdown is a little jealous (Of course, he’d never admit it) That Megatron, possibly the cruelest and most unforgiving of them all, is allowed to be redeemed.
He feels betrayed. All the Decepticons do really… He feels like he was led down a path that would only end in self destruction and at the last moment, the one who was paving the way jumped ship, leaving them all to suffer the consequences alone.
He never even wanted this.
But it’s way too late now. He dug this grave and he’s going to see to it that he’s buried in it. But despite the betrayal, and most of the Decepticons now stabbing each other in the back, trying to claim whatever power they can while holding on to this flimsy cause they can barely call a functioning faction, he still has Bee… who is maybe more than just a friend at this point but that’s a lot of feelings Breakdown isn’t ready to unpack.
And he still runs every time it feels a little too good to be true. Still proclaims his loyalty to the Decepticons because he’s too stubborn to admit he’s on a sinking ship. And he still keeps his distance because he refuses to take Bumblebee down with him when it finally goes under.
And maybe they’ve got a fling going… and maybe the autobots start to catch on. It doesn’t matter though, Breakdown doesn’t stick around long enough to see their sneers.
Until… he finds out Bee’s carrying that is… because damn he may not be the best bot in the galaxy but he’s not a complete deadbeat.
And when it hits him… that he’s going to be a sire… well maybe… he start’s sticking around to see the sneers. He hears the mumbles of disapproval. And boyyy does it make him so angry at first. How dare these holier-than-thou bots. They don’t know him or what he’s had to do to survive. How many comrades he’s lost thanks to them. They don’t know what Bee means to him. They don’t know just how much he loves Bumblebee. How he would lay down his spark for him in a klick.
Then Breakdown questions… Does Bee even know that?
From then on… Breakdown realizes, preserving his ego isn’t worth this. He has a chance now. A real honest chance. To do better… to have the life he actually wants… with the one bot who hasn’t ever given up on him.
He wants it so bad.
So he puts up with the comments and the obvious distrust. Because he’s willing to put in the work it takes to earn it. He’s going to prove how much he wants this. He’s going to prove how much he cares. He’s going to prove he is capable of doing better… and maybe along the way he’ll learn… he’s deserving of better too…
Breakdown is lucky Bumblebee has always been a little spoiled because it didn’t take too much convincing for the autobots to give him a shot. To attempt to accept him into their ranks.
He thought Optimus would be the worst of it. The one who practically raised the bot Breakdown knocked up. And for a while it is. Optimus lectures him every chance he gets. Any small hiccup, any little mistake. He doesn’t go easy on breakdown. Optimus at least pretends to be polite about it, or at least professional.He doesn’t yell, or make unnecessary insults. His words are always very honest (which makes them that much harder to hear) but Breakdown will take it… he’ll sit through it, no matter how hard he has to bite his tongue against saying something he’ll regret. He knows how thin the ice is. But he’ll do it for Bee.
The others are a little more brutal… Elita especially so… they are more sharp with their words (and sometimes their blasters) letting him know just what they think of him.
But no… the worst of all… is Megatron. Because Megatron is probably the only bot in the whole faction who looks at him and empathizes. Breakdown doesn’t want empathy. Especially not from the damn bot who betrayed him. Megatron doesn’t give lectures, he doesn’t verbally or physically abuse him when he steps out of line. He barely even raises his voice. And it pisses Breakdown off more than anything. Sometimes he slips up in front of Megatron just to push his boundaries, just to see if he can break this peaceful facade the ex-brutal-dictator seems to be taking. He’s witnessed the warlord beat bots into scrap for far less… and yet… Megatron won’t. Megatron seems to be attempting to guide Breakdown, to offer a new start to their relationship, and Primus Breakdown wants nothing to do with it. He’d rather be lectured and assigned extra training.
And it takes a long while… longer than Bee’s carrying term, and a little while into Breakcheck’s sparklinghood for the Autobots to really start to come around to him. Optimus’ lectures seem to have a bit of fondness to them. And perhaps Breakdown listens a bit more earnestly and takes to heart some of the genuine advice the Prime gives him. And maybe the sparring with Elita has turned less from a one-sided fight and into an enjoyable workout. And MAYBE… he doesn’t intentionally push Megatron as much, and has come to a realization of his own that his Megatron… is nothing like the one who betrayed him… and perhaps there is more in common between them than he’d like to admit.
And when people look at him now, he’s not just the Con Bumblebee has been sneaking around with. He’s a Sire… and a devoted Conjux…
And maybe this is what he’s always wanted. And he can be deserving of it too.
#transformers#transformers bumblebee#tf earthspark#earthspark#breakbee#tfe breakdown#tfe bumblebee#transformers earthspark#breakdown#breakcheck#breakbee fanchild#WHY DID I WRITE A WHOLE ASS FANFICTION RN WHAT#I meant to just respond with like one paragraph what the hell#i am so sorry#to the 2 people who will read this whole thing LMAO#i have some thoughts about earthspark breakdown…#AS YOU MAY HAVE GUESSED#canon doesnt exist btw#the writers dont know him like I do#tfe megatron#tfe optimus prime#optimus prime#Megatron
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Remember when Bayonetta was condemned as appealing to male fantasies?
Then it was found out that the designer was a woman who thought bayonetta was "hot". Suddenly Bayonetta was perfectly cromulent and only a Nazi would say that she was ever rejected by the 'queer' community. They judged her on her sex and her sexuality to decide whether the character was good or not. When Resident Evil 4 was released, the designs of some of the women were condemned on the basis they appealed to the male gaze - until it was revealed that there were plenty of women thirsty for them too.
I can't remember if it was Mari who posted on twitter that she wanted the Lady to sit on her face, but I am pretty sure it was her. You had this insane situation where Leftists were looking at every smutty posting on twitter, then deciding whether or not it was strong and empowering, or demeaning to women, solely on sex and sexuality of poster. Some women could say the most extreme things imaginable and that was to be applauded - a straight man could express mild admiration, and be denounced as an incel. "why isn't there any good LGBT rep in games??" It's all around us - it's just that Leftists keep shoving purity tests at customers and developers alike. Take Fallout 4. EVERY SINGLE ROMANTIC INTEREST IS BISEXUAL. And that's the norm for most games now. They know if they don't code it that way, they will get objections. Even though the number of gay males playing is tiny. And I know it's tiny, because I can see the stats of how many downloads things get, and mods that make women look hot are downloaded at thousands to millions of times more. So games companies are pressured to the 'queer' market, even though they can see from statistics that this makes no economic sense.
Hell, they later made Lady D a lesbian, even though she never displayed any interest in either women or men except as something to eat - and no, not in the fun way!
Same with Tracer, from memory?
Yes, I know, she was around before most here were born. But the whole thing was that she had no sexuality, then they discovered she was popular with straight men, which is terrible, so they had to formally cut that stuff out, rather than leaving it up to the customers to fantasise however they wanted.
It's all so tiring.
"why isn't there any good LGBT rep in games??" because you don't use itch io and don't believe art made by smaller teams is worth anything or you think nsfw art is an inherent moral failing. Go play a 20 minute porn game made by a depressed transfem lesbian and then maybe you'll calm down
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The most liminal feeling in judaism is knowing history that's deeply shaped jewish communities and yet... nobody but jews talk about it. Obviously, this isn't unique to judaism, but it's a very specific reminder that jewish history matters more to you than it does anyone else
#jumblr#jewish history#personal thoughts tag#the most insane part is me learning about one such mile marker of jewish history meant i knew more than a good 40-60% of people#like it's almost horrifying how *little* people can know about jewish history. even when it's right in front of them#i always had an interest in jewish history even well before i decided to convert#but what's insane is while i didn't know shit about fuck back then... I still knew MORE than a good CHUNK of people#and like i said: this isn't unique to jewish history#hell you could look around in the u.s. and see how little people know about Black and native history#and i imagine there might be a similar liminal feeling for those communities but obviously... my scope is limited to judaism#antisemitism tw#just for the implication#though huge reminder that i STILL don't know shit about fuck about jewish history because... it is THOUSANDS of years old#my issue is definitely not with people who don't know Every Tiny Detail and i hope that goes without saying#if anyone reads these tag rants ever: feel free to share education about jewish history if you feel so inclined🩵#i'm grateful for everyone who has shared knowledge. it's a very very beautiful thing and very kind
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Shadoune about Dream's video, and Feinberg's discord messages:
So, what happened? Dream invited us to make a video. There's a screenshot from Sapnap with everyone who was there, we were like 20, and Feinberg was there. I wasn't really surprised to see him there, he's a competitive player from the english community, it made sense. Now, thinking back, Feinberg is friends with Couriway, and Couriway and Sapnap have a huge beef and hate each other, so yeah when you think about it it's a bit surprising he was there. But in the moment I thought it was fine, it made sense, it's someone I know so it's cool, I respect him a lot, he's a very good player.
But yeah, Feinberg played in the event all fine. And then after the event his messages leaked on Twitter. [reads the screenshot to chat]. He's apologizing like "Oh 🥺 My community, I am so sorry 🥺 I will never do this again 🥺 You're right". It's odd. In the hispanic community there are cancelled people, but it's whatever. Imagine I got cancelled for playing with Cris[green] because he got cancelled. You'd think if someone got cancelled, you'd send hate to the person that is getting cancelled, not people that happen to be playing with them. But that's how the english community works, and it's shit, and I'm very glad to be in the hispanic community. Things are much easier and much more fun here. Nobody is making 34 Twitter threads about me for saying something wrong on accident.
And I like Feinberg, but he fucked up. He fucked up hard. Because he was just making a video with the Dream Team, which is a great opportunity, and then his fans started attacking him. And then he responded, thinking nobody was going to find out, but that didn't happen, and now it's all over Twitter. And honestly? I don't think Feinberg actually cares. I don't think he cares the Dream Team is cancelled, I think he just wants to compete, and that's it. But he was to look good to his fans, to him that's more important, and english ccs can't just tell their communities to fuck off. That's my theory.
It's complicated. That's their culture, it's different than ours, there's not much to do. As for me, I am lucky I can play with whoever I want :)
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2024 f2 boys during christmas preparations | f2 grid picks x gn!reader
i’ve been feeling really tired during those last few days and thought that i could use some help. who better than my favourite drivers! lay back and enjoy this small christmas gift! happy holidays, cuties!! <3
pairings: ollie bearman x gn!reader, kimi antonelli x gn!reader, zane maloney x gn!reader, paul aron x gn!reader, pepe marti x gn!reader, luke browning x gn!reader, franco colapinto x gn!reader;
warning(s): cuteness overload!!
ollie bearman | prema —> haas f1
as we know, the boy is a menace in the kitchen
so he helps with the christmas tree!
shows off his strength by carrying the tree to your house
excited to see all the lights and ornaments, wants to make it really perfect since you're doing it together
teases you about your height so so much
will lift you just so you can put the star on top of the tree! so cute!
kimi antonelli | prema —> mercedes amg petronas
he's a little flustered with all of this
can't help with the food, the tree is already decorated, what is even left?!
the presents!!
kimi would be the ultimate perfectionist in terms of wrapping
and don't even try to convince him that he can use a gift bag
every single item will be neatly wrapped with a bow on top
"can i wrap you up next?"
zane maloney | rodin —> formula e
king of confusion
chances are the chritmas traditions in your countries are vastly different and it's normal to be puzzled
zane would blindly follow your lead and admire how you handle yourself with so many responsibilities
"woah, babe, exactly how many cakes have you baked? this is so good!"
cleans up after your cooking because he sees how exhausted you are
"you need to teach me how to make this so i can help you out better"
paul aron | hitech —> bwt alpine reserve driver
surprisingly useful!!
my man will try to show off his baking skills but will end up asking questions every two minutes to make sure he doesn’t mess anything up
and thank god he asked, because no paul, you can’t add protein powder to my christmas pudding!
very clingy and affectionate, something about holidays together makes his heart melt
brushing his fingers over yours and teasing because he knows you will get frustrated and can't act on your needs
grins when you pounce on his later
pepe marti | campos, red bull academy
type of overachiever boyfriend who will start planning everything november 1st
all the dishes, the decorations, dates... you can count on him to have everything ready
but he somehow forgot about one thing: gifts
emergency last minute shopping, filled with laughs and good food!
"baby this dress would look so pretty on you!" "pepe we already bought so much-" "who cares! let's buy you this dress and, omg, is this matching lingerie?"
very excited puppy!
luke browning | hitech —> f2
really happy to be of help with just about anything
the type of guy to yap about his family traditions, his mom's cooking
not to compare or shame you, he just really loves christmas and wants you to be a part of his world so much
"mom, how do you make these cookies? i want to make them for my darling this year"
overall, it is very sweet and caring during this time
bc he's already imagining your future together and how would your family home look during christmas omg
franco colapinto | mp —> williams racing
curious about anything and everything
"hey, hey, baby! how did you make this? it looks to pretty"
you're stuck with his for hours tbh
will try to help you and fail miserably, causing even more mess and more work
flour will end up on the floor and on your faces
absolutely shameless about it, looks at you with puppy dog eyes
"come on baby, you weren't paying attention to me and now i ruined it! it's not my fault"
will try to make it up with a kiss or two, or five
#formula 2#formula 2 x reader#formula 1 x reader#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman#kimi antonelli x reader#andrea kimi antonelli#kimi antonelli#oliver bearman#paul aron#paul aron x reader#formula 1#paul aron fluff#formula racing#formula e#bwt alpine f1 team#hitech#zane maloney x reader#zane maloney#luke browning x reader#luke browning#pepe marti x reader#pepe marti#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x you
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౨ৎ.𖥔˚ How do the Five Beasts fare with being "rejected" or "friendzoned"...?
— 𝜗𝜚 rq by @melluvsuu, thank you for requesting ! i can't write for characters without a clear personality in the canon of its game, series, or whatever, so here's how i characterized the two beasts who haven't been released yet/has no episodes in game :
— eternal sugar : the lazy beauty. the type to look drop dead gorgeous even while lazing off on her cloud. she's seductive and attractive, kinda like a worse and intensified version of kumiho. she can get what she wants just by whispering sweet nothings into the ears of those who she wants. so sweet, you don't hear the condescendingly cruel intention of hers. but to her, you're just another piece of jelly on her plate. another to use, another to discard. once you're consumed by your love for her, you'll be floating away on a cloud, lazy becomings getting better of you. and you fail to see her touch the heart of another.
— silent salt : a silent but protective cookie. he shows his affection not through empty words but deep rooted actions that come from deep in his heart. and yet, this comes with a strong sense of dismissal, carelessness, and even ignorance. you can't tell if he's listening or ignoring you, he's that silent. despite that, he's protective of those and the things he truly cares about. that being said, anyone who even gets a mile closer to his belongings gets sliced. it may be scary, getting isolated like that. but he's devoted. a slash of his sword, he'll cut down any cookie who dares even think of what he cares about...
— hopefully you like how i portrayed them ! this is just what my vivid imagination thought they'd be like once i saw them. kept it to myself for a while, and now i get to tell it to you mystics here.
— god, they're so evil... i love it.
𔓕 ⸝⸝ ꒱ sumi radio ; step back by GOT the beat
ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ heads up ! — lovebombing. isolation. implied kidnapping...? a lot of bad things. also, you aren't a beast here.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ radiowaves reaching to humans... @esmelanaire
— shadow milk cookie 🎭 ᯓ★
— "You... YOU...!!!! NO, HOW DARE YOU...!!!" TRY TO REJECT ME— YOU..!!" ... "Oh, you silly goose! You didn't reject me, silly! You love me! You do!"
— at first, he's... silent. you weren't supposed to go off script like that, you were supposed to declare your love for him at this very moment! oh, but lookie here, because all the sudden you're dressed in blues and blacks, circus-like attire while declaring your undying love for the incredibly funny and self-proclaimingly incredibly-handsome cookie of deceit!
— with just a snap of his fingers, the entire environment turned from lush green and... beast-yeast stuff to blues and blacks, checkerboards with tightropes, dancing faeries in circus attire, burning coals to dance over and parkour courses complete with throwing knives for fun! of course, it wouldn't be complete without the love of his life, the darling apple of his eye, his little silly goose and so many other silly nicknames, you !!
— you're more than just friends, your lovers, silly! but seriously, of course you'd be having a lot of fun by his side, even if it's not truly you... hey now, you'll be okay! to avoid any other cookies trying to meddle with your mind, he places you at top of the spire of deceit and truth, of course all of your necessities are all there, and Shadow Milk can just appear there with you with a snap of his fingers, faster than you can blink and say "silly, vanilly"!
— which brings a lot of surprise and drama when pure vanilla eventually runs up that familiar blue tower. what sorts of drama coil up when truth finally catches your eye and hand down the blue tower? has your savior finally arrived?
— eternal sugar cookie 💘 ᯓ★
— beautiful, beautiful eternal sugar. how could you ever turn her down? stunning, gorgeous, attractive... looks like she didn't lovebomb you enough. or maybe she didn't spray enough love potions in the air for you to fully fall for her? well, there's truly no need to worry! you're feeling the effects already!
— truth be told, none of the beasts can handle rejection. of course, sugar is no different. her looks, whispers of sweet nothings and forbidden love magic are all she needs to get you to love her. sure, you did reject her, but you just don't know that your hers yet!
— she lovebombs you; constant invitations to her sugar paradise, isolating you from your friends and family upon a sugar cloud and some dark vines as you are consumed by your growing sloth, spoiling you, whispering words of affirmation and love in your ears until you get used to it and only it, inviting herself to things that include you, while ignoring your schedules, personal beliefs and your time because she wants you. she wants control over you, she wants to catch her prey.
— rejecting her further results in further isolation, of course after facing the wrath of a beast. as a... not a beast, you fear her in terms of power, so it's only a matter of time until you love her because you fear her. but that's besides the point, she loves you too much to see you suffer like that! during the black vines and isolation, of course the hearts in her eyes cannot be stopped. the lovebombing doesn't stop even when you are isolated from cookie society.
— consequently, everyone fears being around you because wherever you go, not a minute later the beast of sloth herself comes flying after you right then and there! with how feared the beasts are, they're just begging you to accept her love so she can go away...
— in the end you do end up loving her, in the same way she discards you as you fall into sloth upon your little cloud in the sugar paradise. after all, you are just another toy for her to play with and discard at will. another piece of food on her plate, another prey for to go to town on.
— (p.s. if you somehow got to stay friends with her for a short bit, she doesn't stop with her advances and trying to block her off doesnt work either, she will have you wrapped around her finger in less than it takes for her to snap her dainty fingers.)
— mystic flour cookie 🏯 ᯓ★
— how futile.
— what sort of meaning did you mean to her for her to go to such lengths only to be met with the same futility she drowned herself in a long time ago?
— in her world of white, you were a deep, vibrant shade of (whatever the main color in your cookie's color palette is). the one thing that mattered to her in a world which served no purpose chose to reject her perfect world of white just like that. the one thing that stopped her from turning the world from white chose to leave her out of their world... not in the way that she chose them to be the only rhing worthwhile in hers.
— so because her approach to you is more or less the same as the other cookies around you, she just pays attention to you and actually interacts with you, albeit a dry one, her reaction is very apathetic, hard to tell whether she cared or not.
— ah, what of it? the world will be consumed in apathy, and you will soon see the futility of turning her and her heart of white down. it wouldn't hurt to indulge a fair bit before she took the world into her hands.
— so before she enters her white spider-like cocoon, she abducted you and placed you in there with her. she wanted you to see the world of white she sees so, she wants you to be there with her and feel this same apathy, so you understand her.
— and for once, it wasn't futile as it actually worked. colors diluted in white, eyes glazed over, floury dough and all. you turned into a priest/priestess of the temple of hollow tears, and a personal servant to mystic flour.
— she made you see her world of white. your opinions do not matter. you will not harbor the same arrogance as the cookies who asked too much of her. you saw her perfect world of white, and you feel the same apathy that loathes within her at all times. with tears of hollow apathy, her hand caresses your cheek as you turn into flour under her loving gaze. you were the only thing that mattered to her heart, and nothing else mattered. in this moment where she had lost everything, she desired nothing more than to see you before you entered her world of white. her heart will never forget you, my dear. apathy will never outshine the love she has for you.
— burning spice cookie 🔥 ᯓ★
— ah, so you're a fighter, eh?
— burning spice cookie is a fiery, destructive cookie. i can see his own pride getting hurt by your destruction, and something similar to his wild-goose-chase with golden cheese would happen where you'd hide from him until you could escape or until he was defeated in some way.
— you rejecting his burning love for you hurt his pride. a lot. nutmeg tiger and the spices were shocked too, that you had the guts to do such a thing, knowing you're going up against a beast of such chaos as burning spice...
— ... which means it's another game of hide-and-seek between you and the beast within his own lands. from the kulfi hotsprings to the spice valleys, the spice tribes either helped you hide or ran away from you in fear of the beast. after all, you were the one he was looking for.
— perhaps he wants to prove himself to you. or perhaps he seeks to know whether you are truly worthy of his heart. i don't know, maybe he thinks his destructive stunts will win you over or maybe he wants to see your strength (but you must be strong if burning spice is interested in you), just that he wants to find you because of the rejection which led to something else.
— we've already been over the fact that the rejection hurt his pride deeply, but he's determined to win you over. perhaps he didn't do enough; in this sense he's more similar to eternal sugar but he doesn't love bomb you. in the end of it all, it climaxes to a fight, both to see your strength and to prove himself and win you over!
— he doubles down on competition as he's driven by a need to prove himself, which leads to reckless behavior as he pushes himself to the absolute limit, desperate to impress his crush. also, nutmeg tiger is also after you because burning spice ordered her to.
— the way this ends could be up to your interpretation because i can't see a definitive ending for burning spice getting rejected by his crush. it could end in a big fight where either one of you wins; you win and you leave beast-yeast and the land of rigid spices or whatever it's called, or burning spice wins and you have to be his lover. really, it's up to you from there, sorry.
— silent salt cookie ⚔️ ᯓ★
— the silence after you declare your rejection is so very loud it's almost deafening.
— in the past, you and salt started out as friends. of course, he was a capable leader and with that came being a great protector. little did you know, something that seems good turns out horribly annoying..
— it's not bad, of course, it feels nice knowing no evil or danger is coming your way since silent salt took his place by your side as your knight in literal shining armor, but it's just annoying. cutting down even harmless little critters who come close to you and yes, as a beasts no evil dares come near you but that means cookies also avoid you like the plague.
— isolation is depressing, and no contact is the same thing just as depressing. however, silent salt won't budge even in isolation. alone in your room? not anymore, silent salt is peering over you watching over you. want alone time? silent salt ignores you and stays by your side, stuck to you. that sort of clinginess is uncomfortable and annoying, i'm sure, esp. when they're someone who ignores you and stays silent all the time.
— and sure, it may be nice sometimes. in times where danger threats you, the beast next to you shuts it down immediately but when he cuts down your friends....
— and he ignores your pleas too.
— he ignores your rejection. that's it. he's always going to be by your side even if you declare that you don't love him. you'll never get rid of him, accept it.
— you aren't on his level of power, so you don't stand a chance against him. years and years pass as you crumble on your own (iykyk...). does he regret it? yes. yes he does. but he doesn't see why you did this.
— he thought you knew that he loved you, he cared for you, thats why he stood next to your side for so long... you knew, didn't you? why did you do this... why?
#— novels ୨ৎ.<𝟑#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run: kingdom#x reader#crk#beast cookies#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk cookie x reader#eternal sugar cookie#eternal sugar cookie x reader#mystic flour cookie#mystic flour cookie x reader#burning spice cookie#burning spice cookie x reader#silent salt cookie#silent salt cookie x reader#crk mystic flour#crk shadow milk#crk eternal sugar#crk burning spice#crk silent salt#crk x reader
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Sometimes I wonder how Eric Venue would react when he finds what happened to Vil. His son has overblot, got kidnapped not so long after his overblot, got involved in fighting another overblot, and he got old. How is he going to think about all of this?
Based on what we've seen and heard of Eric, he generally presents as very charismatic and easy to talk to. I'm sure a lot of that comes from his career as a celebrity--he has to have good camera presence and communicate well with those in his industry + fans. However, Vil tells us that while Eric is usually amicable, he can be a very different person when it comes to work and business. We the players never get to view this serious side to Vil's dad; it's only ever alluded to or mentioned in passing. I'd imagine that this is the side of Eric that comes out when he learns that his precious son, the apple of his eye, went through so many grueling experiences.
As a father, Eric must know how hard Vil works for his beauty and his career. I don't see him as the type of person to go and blame others for Vil overblotting; I think he would always have had that worry in the back of his mind. That's why he actively tries to make time for his son, even with both of their busy schedules--because otherwise, Vil might not have those reminders to take time for himself. Learning that those fears have become a reality would have Eric worry even more. Anger and upset would be secondary to that; I genuinely don't see Eric as a belligerent/vengeful person or someone who would blame others for something ultimately Vil (and his spiraling emotions) did. (Yes, Vil is the result of people labeling him as something he's not, but you cannot truly blame a system or reasonably be mad at a vaguely defined group of people/the public.) I feel like he would be more upset that whoever's in power (probably Crowley, lol) didn't take more preventative measures or didn't intervene sooner. Maybe Eric would be sitting in a meeting with Crowley and demanding to know what steps the headmaster intends to take next to keep his son safe. Like, not shouting at Crowley but moreso directing a very cold, stern anger toward him. I don't believe Eric would do something scummy (such as threatening to leak this to the media) in order to make Crowley take action. Such a thing would be disastrous for Vil's reputation, and I believe Eric would want to respect his son's boundaries and not act in overprotective ways that encroach on those boundaries.
Everything that happens to Vil in book 6 would still cause Eric to worry, but I think this time there would be a more positive spin on the events. Yeah, he is still very concerned about Vil being kidnapped, fighting an OB, and then losing his youth in the process. However, I do think that Eric would be less upset about the kidnapping since no harm really came of it and Vil did consent to being studied. Ultimately, Eric would be proud of his son for surviving those ordeals and especially for being so heroic that he was willing to throw himself into literal Tartarus to save a classmate. I just see Eric smiling from ear to ear as he embraces his son, welcoming Vil back and telling him that he truly is the fairest of them all, both inside and out.
#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twisted wonderland#twst#Dire Crowley#Vil Schoenheit#Eric Venue#question#notes from the writing raven#book 5 spoilers#book 6 spoilers#tapis rouge spoilers
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SUCKER ! | kamo choso
words: 1k
description & tw: virgin!choso - you give him head for the first time (oral - m!receiving), overstimulation(?), cum eating
notes: he's just so babygirl I can't help myself
masterlist
okay but imagine giving virgin!choso head for the very first time.
he's all flustered and blushing, pupils dark and dilated, gaze fixed on your face as you sink to your knees at his feet. your fingers are hooked into his belt loops as you go down, pulling him down to sit on the sofa behind him as soon as the back of his knees hit the cushion.
a soft huff of air leaves his bitten, swollen lips, when he sits with a small bounce. soft breaths leave his parted lips as your hands move to the hem of his shirt, fingers pushing one corner of the fabric up, up, up, till it's caught between his lips. his torso is exposed for you to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses all over, hands moving back to his pants, nimble fingers undoing his button, then the zipper, as you tap his hips to lift them while you tug them down his thighs.
you're kneeling between his legs, hands caressing his soft hips, lips tracing his v-line, till you move down, down, down. you press your parted lips over the tent in his boxers, kissing in gentle teases and drawing soft whimpers from his lips. choso's hands grip the cushion of the sofa, knuckles turning white while he screws his eyes shut for a moment.
when they open again, theres a plea written in them, something so desperate and needy you can't help but indulge him.
your hands tug his boxers down, freeing his swollen, red cock. there was no way you could have really known before, but he was big. his tip was flushed, red from your teasing and wet with precum, dribbling from his slit. his cock was girthy, and long. god, was his cock long.
you don't realise how you look right now, but choso does. he sees the way your pupils dilate to match his when his cock slaps against his abdomen as you tug his boxers down. he sees the way you nearly salivate at the sight of it, at the sight of him.
and it's all he can do not to whimper when you finally wrap a hand around him, fingers gently squeezing at the base of his cock, wrist turning and tugging experimentally. his teeth clench against his shirt, his hands tightening on the couch cushion.
his gaze is fixed on your hand and your gaze is fixed on his face.
you're taking in every reaction you can, every change in his expression, to see what makes him tick. what makes his dick twitch in your grip? what makes his hips buck harder into your hand? what makes him leak even more? because, as you learn soon, choso is very leaky. he's so aroused by the sight and the feel of you, that his tip is constantly glistening with precum.
that's when you tug slowly, moving your hand up, along with the twisting motions from earlier. you repeat the movement. once. twice. his eyes shut again, tight. its like he's denying himself from making any sounds, his teeth sinking deeper into his shirt. and that's when you change it up again.
you bring your grip higher along his cock again, thumb swiping over his slit and then working your hand back down. and he whimpers.
it's soft, but oh so sweet. and oh, the things you'd do to hear them again.
so you try again, this time, with yet another tactic. your free hand rests on his pelvis, thumb circling over the bone. and then you lean closer, eyes locked on his face through your lashes as your tongue darts out, licking the fresh pre from his slit, and his eyes snap open, a saccharine-sweet moan leaving his lips. the hem of his shirt falls from his lips and you miss the sight of his bare torso for a moment.
"cho," you whisper, lashes fluttering up at him, and he nearly comes right there, "you can hold my hair." your hand on his pelvis moves to one of his hands on the couch, gently prying his fingers from the cushion and guiding them to your hair. they thread through the locks, gripping them tight as he groans softly.
"you look so pretty like this," you whisper, hand going back to his hip, thumb once again tracing circles. you hear the way his breath hitches, see the way his eyes widen fractionally.
and then your lips wrap around him, suckling the mushroom tip, and his head falls back with a whine, hips bucking into your mouth as he cums down your throat. whispered apologies leave his lips, a few drops of hot cum seeping past yours as he holds you in place by your hair, whimpering as he rides out his orgasm.
"'m sorry - hah - baby," he chokes out, "nngh - sorry-"
but you moan, swallowing every drop you can, gagging around his length as your eyes roll back, watery and hazy, but trying to focus on his. his cock twitches at the sight, the wet, clumped lashes sending another rush of blood straight to his cock as he spurts the last of his cum down your throat, panting.
he whimpers under his breath as he collects himself, apologetic and embarrassed for cumming so soon, and you can't help the way you find it all so utterly cute.
because, truth be told, you had been surprised. but you were not put off, by it, quite the opposite. it was pretty attractive. not to mention, he came a lot - it was a rather hefty ego boost.
he gently loosens his grip on your hair, muttering softly, and while he may be done, but you aren't. you'd never given anyone head before, but you were sure that him cumming in your mouth the second you took him in wasn't the 'full experience'. and you were oh so willing to help him get that - a little too willing, in fact.
so you pull away from his cock with a string of saliva mixed cum attaching your lower lip from his tip, licking your lips and then cleaning him up, ignoring his whines of surprise and overstimulation when you move from his trimmed base to his ruddy tip.
only to wrap your lips around him again while he grips your hair tighter, at war with himself about whether he should make you stop, or let you go ahead.
but he was powerless under your mouth - this time you were determined to suck him off properly and then drink his cum. or keep trying till he let you.
#zeph writes#virgin!choso#choso kamo#jujutsu kaisen#arcanefeelings#jjk x reader#jjk choso#choso x reader#choso smut#jjk smut#tw overstim#choso x reader smut#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo smut
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Is there stigma about mental illness in Hell?
Personal bit: I've had chronic depression and anxiety for my entire adult life, and I used to guard it as this big secret, but now I have friends and coworkers who are understanding and have their own issues. And I work in a helping profession where I see that dealing with this stuff is just really fucking common. But recently I've had a bit of culture shock hanging out with my family, and realizing that... oh wait, we still treat our mental health issues like deep dark secrets and refuse to talk about them and/or seek help. And that's the only acceptable way to act. Okay. Thanks guys.
Personal ramble aside, yes, mental health stigma is still an issue in America, 2024 (obviously). And thanks to Sinsmas, I'm convinced that it's an issue in Vivzie's Hell too, in a way that's pretty reflective of how real contemporary society treats it.
Stolas chooses not to tell Blitz about his happy pills. We find out as the episode progresses that he never told Via either.
And plenty of arguments could be made about Stolas just not wanting to burden the people he cares most for. Not wanting Via to worry about him. Not wanting Blitz to be put out financially by tracking down the pills. But I think there's a level of embarrassment here too, and here's why.
Stolas has spent his life being told to bottle up his emotions, and we have evidence of this. We've also seen him struggling to hide his emotions from Blitz before, turning his back in The Full Moon, and straining when forcing himself to stop crying in Apology Tour.
Is the cultural aversion to displays of emotion just an upper class thing in Hell? I think the answer is "sort of." There are ways in which a Goetia is expected to behave, and lower-class demons have more freedom.
BUT
It's not really that simple. We saw toxic masculinity coming from Millie's parents and from Crimson, and that kind of attitude sort of goes hand in hand with mental health stigma. We also saw Verosika say this-
Which shows a certain attitude toward seeking treatment . . .
And Blitz ALSO has a preoccupation with acting like he's fine and can handle things without help that seems very grounded in sort of a working class, "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" attitude. (Bye to all that by Ghostfuckers..)
This has all been a very long way of saying that yes, mental health stigma in Hell is significant and affects our characters.
So what role does discovering Stolas's pills play for Via?
She takes them as confirmation of her fear (one she already had a lot of evidence for, to be fair...) that Stolas stayed in a miserable marriage for 17 years just for her. And more- that she was "never enough" to make him happy.
And she's right but. She's oversimplifying it. She did make her dad happy. When someone's suffering, from abuse, from mental illness, from . . . literal society . . . one wonderful relationship is still not going to make their life a happy one.
Beyond Stolas's specific situation, people with great lives sometimes need happy pills. People's lives are multifaceted, and that's a lot for a young person to understand sometimes.
So if Octavia had grown up in a situation where people . . . idk, talked about mental health and didn't stigmatize emotions . . .?
Yeah, I think she'd react differently to the happy pills. But more importantly, the level of secrecy wouldn't be the same. Stolas would have been more open about his range of emotions and about needing pills, and in countless other ways this situation would have played out differently.
And now I'm tying myself in knots trying to imagine Goetia culture WITHOUT mental health stigma. I don't think it would exist in the same way at all. Quick, someone get an army of excellent mental health professionals and assign them to every single member of Hell's aristocracy.
#my helluva meta#sinsmas#helluva boss sinsmas#sinsmas spoilers#stolas goetia#stolas#octavia#octavia goetia#mental health in hell#I don't think this is my best work but here we are#helluva boss
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I'm actually split on the High Road thing.
Let's take it that way: Him suggesting the high road thing is honestly pretty much in character for him, knowing his upbringing. He doesn't know it better, given this is the first time he actually went to a school - he never had friendships other than Chloé before, or has he met other people in his age other than her before. Him suggesting Marinette to take the high road is fair; what else could he suggest? Marinette smashing Lila's face into the table is not gonna cut out when she already has this much of a sway over her classmates.
That being said, there's the negative aspect to the suggestion of "the high road". It's a naive thing to suggest. The high road, in a way, means that Marinette shouldn't pay mind to Lila's shenanigans, as she knows it better. This is something Lila can make use of, though - considering Marinette's friends believe her over someone they've known for years (which is a completely ridiculous plot hole on it's own, but that's something for later), what stops her from accusing Marinette of the wildest things? If Marinette doesn't pay mind, it basically leaves her a free target. And that's a bit of a problem.
Plus, bullies don't stop when you ignore them. That's not how it works. I can say that for sure, because back in the school days, I was also told to ignore what the bullies are doing and technically, also "to take the high road". I tried that long enough. And you can imagine how well that worked out. This is why I see the high road as something critical. Though, Adrien doesn't deserve to "pay" or anything; it's not his fault that a pathological liar decides to be ass for no reason.
So, TL;DR.
Is Adrien innocent? Yes, as he wouldn't know a different way, given his upbringing. He just tried to help.
Does that mean that the high road thing was the right thing to suggest? I don't think so, based on my experiences.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
The High Road: A counterpoint to one of the most commonly used Salt Takes for Adrien.
This isn't really a salt fic idea, but since we are on the topic of salt on this blog, I'd like to take a moment to talk about a scene that has largely been used out of contex ever since Chameleon came out, and that is the infamous high road scene that has since been used to death for every Adrien salt story
For those who are unaware of this scene (or perhaps are unfamiliar with the canon version), in the episode Chameleon of Sesason 3, Marinette is about to go expose a plot hole in one of Lila's many fabrications, only for Adrien to stop her by stating that it won't change Lila for the better (Full Transcript Below). Keep this transcript in mind because I'll be referencing it a lot.
Now, this scene doesn't seem like something to be mad over, but the the whole episode of Chameleon has twisted a lot of people's perceptions of certain characters for the worse. This particular scene just happens to be one that changed people's pereceptions of Adrien.
However, I think its actually somewhat unjustified. I feel that in many ways, Chameleon as a whole has been misrepresented for what changes it has actually brought into the show, and I feel that it's easy to take a lot of moments in the episode out of context, especially when emotions come into play. The episode transcript actually happened to be leaked before it was supposed to be relased, so a lot of people already made up their minds about what this episode was about before it was released. It's easy to hate on this episode when you're friends in discord have watched it before you and have started to shout buzzwords such as "The class betrayed Marinette!" or "Adrien is a monster!", etc etc. I would know, since that was how I found out about the episode in the first place, and watching it for the first time didn't change my initial perceptions.
Today, I would like to take a moment to take the infamous high road scene and talk about what it meant for the salty portion of the fandom, before taking a metaphoically sledgehammer and slamming some misconceptions about Adrien from the perspective of salty people. Sure, they're other scenes that could be looked at, but since every salt fic tends to reuse this plot point, I feel it deserves its own deconstruction.
1. The High-Road scene is proof that Adrien is an asshole!
Now this statement is a bit of a buzzword since the actual reasons for people disliking this scene can vary, but to be fair, the reaction to this scene is also more nuanced as well.
In truth, a lot of people already had issues with Adrien/Chat Noir as a whole (for reasons that I won't elaborate here since it would be worth its own post), but this scene seemed to open the floodgates with hatred for our secondary protagonist out of his percieved inaction, since many people now had dislike for Adrien, while those who hated him prior were more than happy to provide fuel for the fire. After the episode was released, these ideas began to merge together, resulting in this belief that Adrien has always been an asshole, and that the Chameleon scene was simply the final straw, and that if the show was written by a good writer (read: anyone who hated the episode), Marinette would actually ditch his ass!
Now, its debatable on whether Adrien had writing issues prior to this point, but I feel that using this scene to justify hatred for him is outright slander for several reasons:
First of all, Adrien never suggested for Marinette to take the high road if we are being logistical about it. He only complimented her on that regard, telling her she did a good job for "taking the high road", and that was after he sat next to her to show he was by her side.
His actual message to Marinette was that it wasn't worth it to try expose Lila at that moment (and to be fair, it wouldn't have worked, more on that later though) because all it would do is make her double down on her behavior. Plus, trying to expose her in front of everyone would just hurt Lila more than help everyone else, which is, if anything, not untrue.
Overall, the advice Adrien gave to Marinette was not meant out of a desire to hurt anyone (least of all Marinette), but was out of a genuine desire to help resolve a situation and prevent Marinette from doing something that would not have helped the situation. Even if he does have other character flaws, this situation was by no means a reason to villainize him for it.
2. Adrien prefers Lila over Marinette, thats why he told the latter to take the high road!
Again, another idea that is found in fanfics, but is ultimately untrue in canon.
While Adrien doesn't believe Lila at all from the beginning of the episode, he isn't exactly just letting Lila's actions slide either; his stance comes from that of believing that Lila being decietful will do nothing to actually help her make friends. However, rather than confronting her angrily like Marinette does, Adrien instead tries to be friendly with her and try offer Lila some advice to try and change, albiet to no avail.
Now, some people might argue that Lila doesn't deserve kindness considering her threat to Marinette just moments ago, but it should be also stated that Adrien knows NOTHING about this: as far as he's aware, Lila is a transfer student looking to make friends, but has a wrong way of doing so (so in a way, she's not unlike him, from his POV at least), so he's just trying to help her, rather than attempt to force her out in the open.
(Quick tibit though, if Adrien knew what Lila did to Marinette, he would probably be more inclined to help her and protect his friends, given that he was willing to 'sacrifice' himself to get Marinette un-expelled in the Ladybug episode)
By the end of the episode Adrien is obviously dissapointed in Lila continuing to act the way that she is, but ultimately refuses to sink to Lila's level in order to teach her a lesson. As childish as it is (and it should be considering Adrien is a TEEN) Adrien believes that Lila's deceptions will ultimately come back to bite her (Adrien even tells her this himself, see below.), but trying to expose her in front of everyone else will do more harm to Lila than it will help others, hence his methods of speaking to her privately about it.
3. Adrien's reasoning is horrible and stupid! He deserves to pay for it!
This reasoning is the one I find the most dissapointing, partly because it inspired The Karma of Lies story (Written by CartoonAddict564), and also because while Adrien's reasoning can come off as naive, it is by no means stupid, nor should he have to suffer for having a different viewpoint for Marinette. But to understand, you need to think of Adrien in terms of his character.
Adrien is not just a celebrity, but also a child with a very controlling father, who pretty much controls and manages his day to day life with the help of his secretary. As a result of his popularity, Adrien has to be very careful with what he says or does, not only because it would reflect poorly onto his father's company, but it would also force his father to step in. As the Collector has shown, Adrien being able to even LEAVE the home is something that could easily be revoked at any time, and being Cat Noir has only loosened the bars on his cell, not remove them completely. Adrien has very little to gain by confronting Lila, but everything to lose, which is in direct contrast to Marinette having everything to lose by letting Lila walk by.
So in the face of all that, plus the situation he is in now, why would he not act passive and provide advice to try mitigate conflict rather than escalate it?
Now whether or not that should be seen as selfish is debatable, it's ultimately not out of character for Adrien to try and provide more passive options to deal with Lila rather than go for the most violent option. You could even argue that Adrien's actions are also out kindness to Marinette, since (in his eyes at least) it could get her in trouble with her own parents if they try and confront Lila violently.
At worst, Adrien's passiveness is a result of his controlled upbringing. At best? He was just trying to help without causing conflict.
4. Adrien shouldn't have stopped Marinette from confronting Lila!
.... im sorry to say this, but yes he absolutely should have.
Marinette was about to confront Lila over which ear her supposed tinnitus was in. Aside from the fact trying to expose her on this alone would not have worked, this would have just resulted in Marinette becoming more estranged from her classmates in this situation. If Marinette should have confronted Lila about her lying, this was DEFINTELY NOT the way to do it.
This isn't to say that Marinette could not have confronted Lila, but this moment simply was not it. There were better alternatives to Marinette that she could employ in the future had she thought of doing so (such as coming to Alya as Ladybug and revealing that her frienship with Lila is a lie), or carrying a voice recorder to record any threats made by Lila.
As uncathartic as the situation was, from a writing standpoint Adrien's inteference ultimately helped Marinette keep her friendships in the long run, while avoiding making a fool of herself with a battle she simply could not win.
5. It's Adrien's fault that Marinette didn't go after Lila! Marinette would have been better if she brushed him off!
This sounds crazy, but this is a genuine point that people seem to mention when it comes to their reasons for writing salt fics. Even if Adrien's attempts to dissaude Marinette were out of concern rather than malice, people still condemn Adrien for pushing Marinette off that path of going after Lila. In their eyes, Marinette didn't get her immediate revenge for what Lila did, and Lila herself was allowed to continue manipulating the class. All of this becomes Adrien's fault by virtue of being the one to deny this from happening, denying the fans their catharsis.
However, the question I ask it that for all the blame they give to Adrien in this situation ... how come nobody blames Marinette at all for the same thing?
See, despite people argue that Adrien manipulated Marinette into not going after Lila, Marinette isn't necassarily gullible or stupid. If Marinette really thought that Lila was a threat worth going after, she could and would have easily found a way to take Lila down and get her removed, with or without Adrien's support (given she made a similar plan in season 5 for when Gabriel tried to get the Kwamis to lead him to Marinette). She wouldn't even need a miraculous to do so given she can make plans without transforming, and most of Lila's lies aren't particularly smart, they just can't be immediately discredited without proof.
And it can't even be argued that Adrien took advantage of Marinette's love for him (whether intentionally or not). Marinette has shown that even though she does value her friends, she doesn't need to rely on the validation of others to do whatever she feels is right (given that she argued against Alya and others in Risk when it came to their belief that Adrien was fine, even though she was partly amped by an akuma at the time). And if Marinette did think that Adrien was wrong, she probably wouldn't have continued to crush on him anymore.
Also its kind of lowkey sexist? Like, Marinette can probably make her own decisions, she doesn't need someone to dictate her own actions given she's the leader of a superhero team?
Ultimately, Marinette made the choice not to go after Lila. Perhaps she thought that Lila wasn't worth it. Maybe she thought that taking down Lila wasn't worth the time and stress. Maybe she ended up agreeing with Adrien and thought that Lila would expose herself sooner rather than later with her own deceptions. Either way, Marinette can make her own decisions, and she ultimately thought that going after Lila was not a good idea, for whatever reason.
Now, some people might be upset about this idea that Marinette is to blame, but people can't just play the blame game and expect their target to lose. It would honestly be preferrable to say that both Adrien and Marinette made a decision that (for better or worse) thought was good at the time and that neither should be judged for it, but the fandom doesn't seem to care for that because that means their salt fics would be invalid.
Thus, since people want to blame Adrien for apparently "manipulating" Marinette, Marinette should get equal blame for allowing herself to be manipulated by Adrien. Sucks to hear it, but since nobody calls out Marinette on her shit, I might as well be the first. Sorry if it triggers you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
So ... what does this all mean?
It means that my boy Adrien is innocent.
He meant no harm by suggesting that Marinette not go after Lila, nor did he do it because he took Lila's side over Marinette's. At best, he was unaware of how evil Lila was and thought she was misunderstood, and at worse he defaulted to using the same ideas that he uses to protect what limited freedoms he had, and offered it to Marinette as geunine advice. Marinette isn't a pushover either, meaning that not only did she also think what Adrien said was a good idea, but the fandom is inadvertently being sexist by implying she can't be independent and can't make her own decisions, given that she's shown her own independence multiple times. At best, both characters made a dumb decision that they thought was good, but neither can be soley responsible.
Ultimately, Chameleon was an episode that gave Adrien (and whoever else was targeted) a bad rep due to the kneejerk reaction everyone had to the episode due to Lila's lies, myself included. In truth, nothing of what happened in the episode had any actual long term effects, since Marinette still kept her friends and Lila didn't end up playing any major role for nearly 2 seasons, at least until season 5 finally got rid of 'Lila' and set up 'Cerise' to be the new Butterfly villain.
It took me a long while to put this belief into words, and it may be 2 seasons too late, but at least I can upload it now knowing that this truth could possible be shared with the world. Maybe it will stop the excess of salt fics in the world, and allow for new salt free works to be made. Who knows?
Anyways, I hope you found this to be an interesting read as I had writing it!
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