#i bring a “i can do this later” vibe to my projects that my mental health doesnt really like

[ronihilator]

"ill finish it tomorrow" i say as i wrap up my classwork and open my draft for the fic im writing

"....ill finish it tomorrow" i say after closing the doc and opening my sketchbook

[cr1mson5returns]

Although I enjoy a good "Jack Drake is a physically and mentally abusive asshole and deeply homophobic" fic as much as the next ex-Catholic lesbian, I have to admit that I have a way softer spot in my heart for "clueless blundering ass who makes everything worse" Jack Drake.

Maybe it's because my own parents were deeply homophobic in a very different way to others. If you asked them, they'd tell you they have no problem with queer people. They don't care what anyone does in the privacy of their own home, really! Therefore they're not homophobic! But they just don't think you have to make it your whole personality. You don't have to shove it in everyone's faces. And all these new labels for things, what's up with that? Isn't it enough for people to just be gay or straight?

So because I do be projecting, I have a soft spot in my heart for Tim coming out to Jack as bisexual, and Jack just sort of...short-circuiting, for a hot minute. "Well, I'll always love you, son." And Tim thinks that this went pretty well, actually. But Jack later is maybe telling Tim that there are ground rules for him and his dates. Can't bring boys back to the house, strict curfew, has to let Jack know where he is and with whom at all times. Jack doesn't kick Tim out or anything, or call him names, but it's uncomfortable living there now in a way that it wasn't before. Jack has a weird vibe about him when Tim talks about a boyfriend or a male crush. Shuts down the conversation really quickly and won't entertain it any longer. Jack starts being critical of Tim in ways that he wouldn't if he didn't know about his son's sexuality; he asks why Tim feels the need to have a bi pride flag in his room, or why he has to make this his defining characteristic now. And Jack never actually says the word "bisexual." It's always "this." How they just need to leave "this" alone for a while, they need to not make every conversation about "this."

Because Tim is such a person to let a person's good characteristics speak miles more than their bad ones, if they're close enough to him. He has plans in place if Batman goes rogue, but not for his own protection, never for himself. Always for everyone else's benefit. He can live with what happens to him if he's wrong. So of course he'd never call his dad a homophobe, that's not - his dad didn't kick him out. Doesn't hit him or call him names or say mean things to him. It hurts his feelings sometimes, but he takes worse than that from street thugs every night. It's not like he can't handle his dad being a little weird about things.

Right?

[imintoomanyfandomscuzihaveadhd]

Random ass spider headcanons that are in my maladaptive daydream

Warning: Not proof read, Cussing, probably OOC, acro ace kiri, mentions of AOT,

First and foremost FUCK HIS FOSTER FAMILY UNCLE NORM RAISED SPIDER 😤

His pain tolerance is through the roof. Like he fell out of a tree and was confused on why Lo’ak was freaking out, he looked down and was like “oh my leg’s broke”

He also like never gets sick but when he does it’s bad

Poor baby got abandonment and anger issues 😭

Probably projecting but he’s got ADHD. It was worse when he was little but he still has his hyper manic episodes

This boy radiates so much heat it’s not even funny

HE CAN SING 😩 AND PLAY THE GUITAR 😫

However he can’t dance worth shit💀 all he can do is a awkward shuffle

Projecting (again) but he tries to take care of his hair but gives up really easily. Like he will have a solid hair routine for like a week and just forgets about it instantly

subconsciously brings samples back to the lab.

This poor boy is touch starved please give him a hug

Most of the young Na’vi kids love him despite their parents distaste

Secretly watches his parents video diaries but pretends like he never wants to see them especially his dads

Him and norm watch old anime and superhero movies that was saved on drives

His hair grows hella fast

He’s a very fast learner

He knows Spanish definitely can and will cuss anybody who doesn’t understand it out

Lyle: “SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE’S SAYING I DONT SPEAK TACO BELL”

Lopez:😭🤣

Has crazy ass sleepwalking spells. Like everyone in the lab literally couldn’t find him. Norm decided he would go avatar to look for spider outside and spider was dead ass asleep in the pod💀

He also sleeps like a rock like the whole lab could get blown away and he would still be sleeping

Morning boi. Like why is he up at 5:30am eating breakfast watching old Pokémon reruns on a Wednesday 🤨

His room is a disaster

Steals avatar/recom clothes

Norm: “Spider, give me back my shirt it’s like 6x your size”

Spider, who looks like a toddler cuz the shirt is so big: “So? You just jealous I look hotter than you in it🙄”

I feel like there’s random period where spider will just wonder off into the forest when he’s not feeling mentally well. And it’s ok because he got the ewya armor

Like he’s found his own secret caves and groves to go to when he’s upset or just wants to be alone

Him and loak once stole the Navi equivalent to alcohol, got drunk and Jake beat their ass

Helps teach Navi kids English

Him, loak, kiri, havin waifu talk after spider showed them the wonderful world of anime

Lo’ak: “historia is top tier”

Spider: “man fuck historia have you seen ANNIE AND MIKASA 😩”What can I say man loves him a strong woman

Kiri: “acro ace vibing with hange”

Boy’s oblivious as hell

omeone will flirt with him and 3 day later while he’s chilling in the lab he’ll go: “HOLY SHIT……THEY WERE FLIRTING WITH ME-”

The waifu one was based off these videos here

@hyperfixatedfandomer @naavispider @today-or-tumble

[clovermarigold]

Smoke & Ice Head cannons and facts

Small facts and characteristics that are cannon to my fic, Smoke & Ice. Please note I do not claim any of these to be cannon to the MK franchise!

Don't worry I won't do any woobifying.

Also note after finishing this, I should have named this Angst angst and more angst

pt.2 pt.3

Calla has actually never been in a relationship because she always felt responsible for the Mangrove and like their parents/caretaker/sibling, even when they were around her age. (#oldest daughter vibes)

Bi han grew up with a different side of his father compared to his siblings. I head cannon that he probably learned his assholery from his father when he was younger. But he grew as a person as he had more kids.

Thats also why I think Bi han has both his evident hate and some internalized hate for Smoke. Because he's jealous of how soft and easy he went on him. (#oldest son vibes). This coldness and quiet resentment are also why he is TERRIBLE with children. He will seriously treat them like whole ass adults.

Calla: Go on. Talk to him

Bi han: ...Wanna beer?

Calla: NO!

Smoke on the other hand, is amazing with children. He didn't have a lot of interactions or experience with children, but that didn't stop him from being really good at it. Kids are really good at vibe checks, they can tell.

Smoke tends to hyper analyze and feel guilty after being around the children however, because he feels like he's projecting his memories of his sister onto them.

Smoke despite having MAJOR trauma has a habit of minimalizing it and brushing it off. Which infuriates Kuai Liang to no end.

Kuai Liang is the middle child that acts like the eldest. He got a glimpse to the kind of man their father was, since he's not that much younger than Bi han. But he was one of the first things to inspire their father to grow as a person.

Despite being the middle child, and the brother Bi han hates the least. It's usually Smoke who is the mediator between the two brothers.

The three brothers have vastly different relationships with their parents.

Bi han was an absolute mama's boy. He was always closer to his mom since she was the only person he would accept kindness, love, and even pity from. The day she died was when he truly became the Bi han we all know today. He had a terrible relationship with his father. Due to being put through grueling training when he was younger, as well and having the Lin Kuei's greatness instilled in his mind. Only to watch his father change and abandon this ideology as he aged. To him, any attack to his values is an attack on him.

Kuai Liang on the other hand unfortunately suffered from middle child syndrome. Often not being prioritized due to his mother's focus on Bi han, as well as his father's priority on training Bi han to lead, and later favoritism of Tomas. This neglect is what made him easily the most independent of bunch in their youth. Though this did change after the loss of their mother, which left Bi han to be the most independent and cold.

Smoke, however, is a more complicated matter. While he is undoubtably a daddy's boy. Due to his lack of a present birth father growing up and being taken in by him. His relationship with their mother is difficult. In no way does he dislike or have any problems with her. He just can't bring himself to truly see her as his mom. After watching the death of his true mother and sister, Tomas inherited a number of mental issues that the Lin Kuei never truly bothered to address. The loss of his twin sister made him incredibly clingy and reliant on his brothers, but the loss of his mother left him feeling guilty any time he tried to bond with his adoptive one.

Johhny cage has MAJOR daddy issues and minor mommy issues. Based on character interactions from both MK11 & MK1, we can deduce that he was an asshole. His dad switched between emotionally abusive and absent all together.

While he absolutely adores and loves his mom for being the parent who stayed and raised him, it didn't change the fact that she gave mostly tough love, being a cop and a single mother of two. (His brother who is said to be an asshole though we don't know the extent)

Movies were his main escape from his shitty home life and social life. I decided to keep his characteristics from Mortal Kombat Cage Match, being that he was bullied as a kid. Both by classmates and his brother. As a result, he absolutely loathes bullies, and is fully down to beat the shit out of any adult or minor that bullies any future kids of his, nephews, nieces, or just friend's.

When recreating the timeline, Liu Kang had to decide what to do with the children of Kronica and whether or not to include them in it.

I don't have a canon decision of Shinnok, since we won't be focusing on that in the story, and it'll probably be explained in future games. But Cetrion is a different story.

Cetrion was made to be a caretaker of the earth realm and its life. However, after falling in love with a mortal, was granted permission by Liu Kang to live among them as a mortal.

Their children would eventually become the dryad and subsequentially the Hamadryad, which is why they do not exist in any other previous timelines. It is also why Cetrion was able to become mortal without abandoning her duties. By creating a clan tasked with her previous role.

Anyways! Hope you enjoyed my "Head cannons". Have some tissues on your way out, I know I needed them.

Tag list

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@whore-of-many-hot-men

@cherryblossomly

[thetentaclecommander]

Thaks for the tag @damadisangue! Lesse:

When did you start writing?

I remeber as a lil tentacle in human 3rd grade writing this meandering, long, just where was this boat going like 25+ page story for English class and just had a ball in making up the story. I didn't care that the story was a hot mess, I unknowingly realized I liked lore building. But, I realized that after I wrote it one, I went way over what the class wanted cause of my overachieving tentacle tendency and two, that I hated editing, grammar and all the boring English stuff. I didn't try to write a story again till many years later and realized the story itch had come back to me.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I actually, genuinely like slice-of-life and very inspirational/good vibes type of stories. But I simply like writing drama and assholes too much to write that sort of stuff often.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

My writing style recently got compared to the book House of Leaves. I need to read this but considering the few pages I've seen, I'm honored and can see the comparison at points.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

My big black desk with a standing desk attachment to force my tendriled self to get up, covered in paper that sometimes gets neatened only to get it ruined again due to time or my cat familar. Headset, dual monitors, pc w normal tentacle ergonomic peripherals, crystals, eldritch symbols covered in dark purple black ichor. Normal desk set up.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Do a ritual seance with burnt wormwood and channel into Nemesis' headspace. Find myself mentally projecting on the 56th astral plane with spoitify playing something dank and bizarre to mortal ears and chant ioioioioioio-

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

sheding of human fear sheding of human loss yet knowing such removal only brings more weakness to the fore the loneliness of being the only one the question of faith both internal and external to want is to long to love is to harm until you become one's true self free from greed, from selfish power games and inflicted misery and living in truth not lies strength in finding self not fighting for a control that isn't yours to demand no gods but us  no masters but us utter the lies the waking profane io io io

What is your reason for writing?

breathe and become as we only can bring you hope-

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

- oh and we're back. Sorry, I had a walk about and forgot to finish this. But I hope to be known as a trolly, yet fun author that challenges your sense of taste, and makes you question what is. Though, being known as that fucking persistant Nemesis and Jill shipper is good enough, lol.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Um, I can make up shit on the fly and not need drugs to do so, ig?

How do you feel about your own writing?

Eh, my pre 2010 stuff I think are lame but meaningful as my baby steps as one has to start from somewhere in this dimension?. I think I hit my stride in 2020 when I entered my erie sacrilegious era but so far, I'm pleased that my writing is passable and singularly me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Pfft I've never given a damn about what is popular in the greater fandom or fleeting reading trends. Readers will get from me stories under my terms as I've had to fight tooth and nail to get to where I'm at and so, this tentacle writes for themself first and foremost and secondarily to entertain. I am a showtentacle at heart after all. I do enjoy when readers read, mind, but love it most when they take this betentacled offering from me and savor it, like really eat into it and see the wormy layers of plot and intricacy I've baked into there. Just envisioning them consuming, ingesting my work, feeling the trailing of my worms down their throat, into their belly to really get what I'm putting down is wonderful. Hoy, my minions! Feel free to join in! @naerwenia @vopecata @coiled-dragon @s-dei @lmshady

@depraveddove​ @the-bar-sinister​ @unchartedperils​ @sweet7simple​ @meltic-daze​

@misch3fbunni3​ @autistichalsin​ @villaindevotee​ @coffinliqueur​ @scroggles​

@goth-automaton​ @azulas-daddy-kink​ @katophoenix​

and whoever else wants to I'm not your parental aid (edit: what is with tumblr not tagging ppl ahhh)

[areyoudoingthis]

Rated E. 7,724 words. This isn't at all what Stede saw in his own fantasies - there's no beard, no sword, no avenging swashbuckling pirate standing in the mirror in front of him. There's just Stede, swaddled in fine fabrics like he was most of his life, but not the same at all. This is Stede touched by Ed, draped in Ed's love manifest in the clothes he picked for him to wear because they reminded him of a time in his life when the memory of Stede helped him breathe underwater. This is how Ed seems him. This is the image of Stede Ed saw when he needed him most. He feels his eyes well with tears at the realization. - Ed gets Stede to open up through the magical power of new clothes.

They're mostly done with their list of purchases for the day when they walk by the tailor shop. Ed's eyes bore through the windows as his legs stop moving, and Stede's heart pitter patters at the thought of going clothes shopping with him, of sharing something that always brought him solace in his lonely years with someone who fancies a fine fabric as much as he does.

He smiles encouragingly at Ed and nods towards the store, and Ed doesn't need any further invitation; next thing he knows Stede's being dragged excitedly by the hand across the threshold.

He lets himself be pulled, gazes adoringly at Ed as he watches him drink in all the colors and patterns that are theirs for the taking. He will never forget that this was the first thing they bonded over, the way Ed's eyes shone when Stede showed him all the treasures he kept tucked safely away in the auxiliary wardrobe for the first time. The awe in his expression as he took in the rows of autumn vibes and summer linens much like he's doing right now, his excited giggles as they traded clothes.

He loses track of Ed as they browse, picks up an emerald green cashmere robe with silver accents that he simply has to get for him, gets lost in the daydream of holding Ed in his arms while he's wearing it and forgets where he is and what he's doing for an indefinite number of minutes.

He goes looking for Ed when he comes back from his fantasy, and finds him standing uncharacteristically still next to a rack of colorful suits. He's pulled out one in particular, satin in a gorgeous shade of orange with intricate patterns of leaves and flowers on the front and the sleeves. He has impeccable taste, Stede's always known this about him.

Ed seems mesmerized by the fabric, rubs it between the pads of his fingers and stares at it with something like reverence. Stede smiles, always happy to get Ed anything that makes him light up like this.

"Do you like it, darling? Should we get it?"

"It's..." he turns to Stede, all wide eyes and intense longing. His voice is small and awed when he replies. "It's the same color as your scales in my vision."

Stede swallows around the sudden knot in his throat, struggles to draw air into his lungs, but Ed isn't done knocking the breath out of him yet.

"I wanna see you in it."

There's no way Stede can say no to that, even if he was inclined to turn down a well-made, beautiful coat like this one, which he hasn't been once in his fifty years on this earth.

He wonders briefly if it may need to be tailored, but judging from the avid way Ed's still glancing between him and the fabric pooled in his hands, he worries that something may happen if he decides to try the suit on in public. He doesn't fully know what, but he decides wisely not to risk it and just pay for everything and make sure he can bring it back later if it needs any adjustments. The saleswoman is gracious and reassuring, and Stede makes a note of the store in his mental list of "Stede's favorite places in the world he absolutely must revisit later."

He's ready to pay for the robe, coat and matching breeches when he remembers that all he has at home are worn shirts and an assortment of leather and rough cloth trousers.

"Will you choose a shirt and waistcoat for me, darling?" he ventures, and is rewarded with Ed's eyes going big and hungry again.

"Me?"

"You picked the suit, you know the color scheme you're working with."

Ed nods determinedly, squares his shoulders and heads back towards the racks of clothes muttering quietly to himself, like he's got a big mission to fulfill. Stede feels so impossibly in love every minute of his life these days that it's a wonder he gets anything done at all.

He turns back towards the woman behind the counter and inquires about a new pair of shoes (he can't possibly wear something this delicate with boots) and, heart hammering in his chest for some unknown reason, stockings.

He's purchased stockings dozens of times in the past, but his mind seems to have attached some special significance to the idea of stockings-and-Ed, and wearing something for Ed just because he asked. He breathes deeply and tries not to turn red, doesn't want to make the poor woman uncomfortable.

He chooses white to go with the suit (one can rarely ever go wrong with white, unless one is perhaps Lucius at the Republic of Pirates), and can't help but get the lavender pair she shows him, too, imagines the way the color will look against Ed's skin and loses the fight with the blush spreading warmly on his face. He has time to ask her to wrap those separately, please, they're a gift, before Ed comes back with the items he picked. He shows Stede a flowing white shirt with lace cuffs that he immediately falls in love with, and a golden yellow waistcoat with delicate pearl buttons that's almost as lovely as him. Stede thinks he'll gladly let Ed pick all his clothes from now on.

They pay for everything with the money Ed always seems to have on him in infinite amounts (Stede often has to remind himself that one of them is still rich, and that living in a house that keeps threatening to fall apart on them was a choice they made), and they start on the trip back home with all their new treasures in hand, along with the groceries they got earlier.

It isn't until later that day that the suit is brought up again, when the food has been put away and dinner's come and gone and they're on their second cup of tea of the evening, and Ed asks him, timid and hopeful, to try it on. Stede heads towards their room with his heart in complete disarray, wondering if he'll ever get used to the way Ed can set his whole body and mind alight with a few simple words.

Ed has unpacked every piece and laid them neatly out on the bed for him, and Stede feels himself choke up a little at the caring gesture.

His fingers tremble slightly as he ties the laces of his new shirt, and he wonders if this is how brides usually feel as they get ready on their wedding day - at least brides who are getting married by their own choice. He certainly felt nothing close to this pleasantly agitated and anticipatory when he was about to be married. That suit was given away to charity as soon as Stede considered it polite to do so; he hopes someone got some comfort out of it.

He holds the lace that decorates the sleeves between his fingers and gets lost in the sense-memory. His fingers welcome the touch back like an old friend.

The waistcoat goes on next, and Stede admires the color and the way it fits around his chest and waist. Ed could make a living out of dressing people if he wanted to, his eye is unerring; he may not even need to get the suit adjusted at all. He leaves the buttons undone for now and turns back to the slowly diminishing pile of garments on the bed.

He sighs ecstatically as he slides the stockings up his legs. He missed this most of all, the soft, decadent whisper of silk against his skin. Boots and leather are fun, definitely practical and useful for fighting and working on the house, but it's so nice to be able to indulge like this again. His body's readily and easily adjusting to being covered in finery once more.

The thought of Ed waiting expectantly on the other side of the door to see him in these makes a thrill run down Stede's spine that has nothing and everything to do with the stockings and the shiny laces he's tying them up with.

He pulls the breeches on top once he's done, and goes about the slow task of doing up every button on every piece with slightly impatient hands. He's never gotten dressed this elaborately in the past knowing that he'd be getting undressed a short while later, and this part feels a little like a waste of time and effort. He grins to himself, feels his whole body bubble with an exhilaration he's never experienced while putting on clothes before. These days the excitement is usually reserved for taking them off, and Ed tends to be the one impatiently taking care of that. He wonders how many new firsts he'll keep discovering every day of his life with him, wishes hopefully that they never run out.

When he's finally done securing the last buttons down the side of his new breeches, he slips his feet into the shoes and stands up straight, tugs on the coat a little to adjust it. It's got that stiff new outfit feeling, but Stede doesn't mind, because as soon as he focuses on the mirror in front of him the breath gets knocked out of him for the third time today.

He looks absolutely radiant. The satin glimmers where it catches the light, and the mix of orange and gold, delicate pearls nestled in embroidery and soft touches of lace and silk all combine to make him look otherworldly to his own eyes.

And, he thinks, this isn't just any old fancy suit, something he's donning like armor first thing in the morning for the umpteenth time. This is what Ed chose especially for him to wear, because it holds a particular significance to him, because it reminds him of a time in his life when the memory of Stede helped him breathe underwater.

This is how Ed seems him. This is the image of Stede Ed saw when he needed him most. He feels his eyes well with tears at the realization.

This isn't at all what Stede saw in his own fantasies - there's no beard, no sword, no avenging swashbuckling pirate standing in the mirror in front of him. There's just Stede, swaddled in fine fabrics like he was most of his life, but not the same at all. This is Stede touched by Ed, draped in Ed's love manifest in the clothes he picked for Stede because he wanted the pleasure of seeing him in them.

He feels slightly unstable with everything going through his head and his heart all of a sudden, and for once in his life he knows exactly where to turn.

"Ed, can you come in?" his voice wobbles a little as he calls out.

Ed confirms his suspicions that he was waiting on the other side of the door by opening it immediately and stepping into the room with him.

He zeroes in on the tears running down Stede's cheeks instantly, with the same care and devotion he always shows him. He's got Stede's face cradled in his solid hands within seconds, thumbs wiping away the saltiness and lips whispering soothing words on instinct.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asks once Stede's been profusely comforted. "Don't you like it? You don't have to keep it on if you don't."

"I love it, Edward," Stede confesses quietly. "I love it so much." His voice grows even smaller. "Too much."

Ed's eyes and nose scrunch almost comically in confusion.

"How can you like it too much? That's not a thing, Stede. Ya like it, ya wear it. That's how clothes work."

And he makes it sound so impossibly simple. But it's never been simple, has it? Not in Stede's experience. Wearing pretty things because he likes them has never been as straightforward for him as Ed assumes. He doesn't know how to explain that, though, doesn't know where to find the words to encompass his father and his peers and his own wife and the contempt Stede's enjoyment of fine, delicate things was met with his whole life.

He starts crying in earnest instead, and Ed stands unwavering with Stede's face held gently in his hands, kisses his tears dry and presses their foreheads together, pours his adoration into the silent, intimate space between their mouths as he lets him figure out how to say what he needs to say.

Stede tries to breathe through his tears, tries to make his mind and his tongue cooperate with the arduous task of summing up a lifetime of disdain in a few sentences. And then a memory comes to him, of another time when fine things were worn and one of them also ended the night upset, and he thinks maybe he knows how to help Ed understand.

"Do you remember the french party boat?"

"Yeah, I remember," Ed grits out, clearly still has the same negative associations with it that Stede does. And Stede is sorry for what he's going to bring up next, but he hopes Ed will forgive him once he gets where Stede is going with it, why he's digging up the unpleasantness to poke at it.

"Remember how they made you feel when you used the wrong spoon?"

Ed grumbles his assent.

"I always picked the right spoon, Ed," he sobs, trembles against him, unable to stop the grief from ripping out of him. He keeps talking as his voice breaks. "I was taught which spoon was the right spoon and I picked it every time after. And I always felt just like you did that night. Every day. For almost fifty years."

Ed's hands leave his face to wrap around his shoulders and pull him close. Stede feels safe pressed here against his chest, feels shielded from the harshness of the world like he's never felt in his life. Inside the circle of his arms is the only place no one's ever been able to harm him, the wall no pointed barbs can pierce, a refuge where no dark thoughts can thrive.

"Stede, you made those fuckers set themselves on fire," Ed reminds him.

"Because they hurt you," he says, raising his face from his shoulder to stare earnestly into his eyes.

Stede thought it was obvious this whole time. There's nothing he wouldn't do to make Ed feel safe, to punish those who insult and hurt him.

Ed's eyes light up with understanding, and then flood with compassion.

"There was never anyone to set them on fire for you, was there?" he whispers softly into the quiet room.

Stede nods through his tears, burrows closer into his arms. Ed holds him tight, tireless in his love, presses his lips tenderly into his curls, rubs his hands up and down his back and makes warmth bloom in his body. Stede is always surprised to be handled this gently, hasn't managed to get used to it yet.

"You've got me now," Ed promises. "I'll set anyone on fire for ya, love." He says it like a prayer, like a vow, and Stede smiles shakily and keeps crying into his shoulder, keeps drawing comfort from his steadfast presence and the way he offers himself up for Stede to take whatever he needs.

Ed lets him weep in his arms until he calms down, until the reassurance of his presence eases the hurt of his absence for all the years that came before now a little. And then Stede remembers he had more to say before he broke down.

"I look beautiful in this. I feel beautiful, Ed."

Ed nuzzles his cheek affectionately.

"You sure do, babe. Happy you agree."

"It feels different, kind of. From when I used to dress like this, before." He pauses. "I like it when you dress me."

"You like it when I undress you, too."

Stede chuckles a little wetly.

"That's not what I mean, you menace. I like that you picked this for me, that you showed me how you like me." He takes a breath. "I like that it's how I like me, too," he adds.

Ed beams at him from underneath impossibly long eyelashes.

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Can I pick more fancy stuff for you?"

There's that boundless excitement that he loves again. Stede knows if he lets him he'll soon find himself with even more clothes than he had when he moved into the Revenge, and then they'll need to build a whole secret wardrobe into their house, too. He'll start drawing the plans in the morning.

"Please do," he asks.

Ed smiles, pleased, and says, "I liked that store."

"Oh, I noticed, darling," he teases. "I like it, too. We'll have to go back soon."

Ed hums in agreement and kisses him enthusiastically, and soon he's making Stede's head spin until he forgets that he was crying and why. He pulls him greedily into his body, runs his hands reverentially down the soft fabric of Stede's new jacket.

"You can keep this bit on," he murmurs, and Stede whimpers into his mouth and feels his knees go a little weak at the ravenous tone and the clear intent behind the words.

Ed slides his hands under the coat and wraps his arms around Stede, guides him backwards towards the bed as he steals his breath with his lips.

He stops when the backs of Stede's legs meet the bed, pushes him down gently until he's got him sitting on the edge, and then shorts out his brain by sinking to his knees in front of him.

"Ed," he moans, fingers tangling in his hair without Stede ever making a conscious decision to make them do it. Then he has a brief moment of lucidity and says, "Pillow, darling. We don't want your knee to be sore in the morning," as he passes him one from the pile on their bed.

Ed places it obediently under his left knee, gives a pleased little sigh and bends down to remove Stede's shoes. He drops hungry kisses along the way, touches his burning lips to his knee, his calf, his ankle, sets Stede's skin ablaze as he goes.

"I love your fuckin' fancy lacy shoes," he says, holding his leg delicately to slip the shoe off his foot.

Stede laughs. Only Ed could manage to sound ferociously enthusiastic about shoes.

"They're not the most convenient footwear," he points out.

"Who fuckin' cares about that, Stede. Your legs look fuckin' great in heels."

Stede feels the blush climb all the way from his toes to his ears. He's feeling perilously close to overwhelmed and all Ed's done is kiss him and compliment his shoes.

Ed sets both of his bare feet down on the ground and rests his hands on Stede's knees as he comes back up, uses the leverage to pull his legs apart and settles easily between them, like he's belonged there his whole life. Stede's chest rises and falls rapidly as he watches him - he's all perfect curls and lovely brown skin, pupils blown wide in hungry eyes, and Stede loves him so much he's afraid his heart might burst.

His mind has inexplicably decided to make him experience everything tonight with an intensity that's making him feel as if this somehow the first time they're doing this all over again. Perhaps it's how their first time would have gone if no one had ever told them who to be or how to live - the two of them undressing each other unhurriedly layer by layer, long before there were any scars hiding under them, before anyone left and any hearts were broken. But he knows they wouldn't be the people that they are if none of that had happened, and that's without a doubt the most heartbreaking possibility of all. He loves this man just as he is, loves who he's learning to become around him. Losing this is unthinkable.

Ed draws him back from his bittersweet musings by slowly undoing the buttons of his waistcoat and pushing it aside so he can bury his face against Stede's stomach. Stede combs his fingers through his silver-threaded hair, thinks idly that he should brush it and plait it for him one of these days. It's as if his hands have remembered all the soft things they used to do and are eager to get back to them.

Ed kisses his body over the shirt, slides his lips down to mouth at his cock through the front of his breeches. He moans when he finds him hard and wanting, and Stede moans with him, blood humming electric with every touch Ed lavishes on him. Ed's fingers work deftly on the buttons while his mouth is busy, and he tries to push the breeches down his hips once he's got them open, but the fabric has no give and they stay stubbornly where they are.

"Pants have to come off, babe," he says, tugging on them. "They're too fuckin' tight." Stede giggles and leans back on his elbows to let him pull them off. He belatedly recalls the tiny buttons down the sides of the legs as Ed's about to slide them down his calves.

"Ed-" but there's a small rain of metal tinkling musically on the floor before he's finished getting two words out.

"Shit," Ed says, forlorn. He looks utterly dismayed about a few pieces of metal and fabric, and his face is so expressive that Stede can't help but laugh and lean forward to kiss the sour look off his lips.

"They're just buttons, darling," he consoles. "At least you didn't tear the ones on the waistcoat, those are my favorites." Ed smiles as Stede presses their mouths back together, and Stede will consider the buttons a fair sacrifice for everything he's gotten out of tonight.

Ed forgets the urgency of his task and keeps kissing him instead, hands still bunching up the fabric around his ankles. He looks so pretty on his knees between Stede's legs, cheeks flushed and mouth red and bitten. Stede would gladly stay here kissing him forever.

They need to come up for air eventually, though, and the pants finally come off without further incident. Stede loses Ed to some transcendent experience the second he notices the stockings he's wearing and the laces holding them up, judging by the glazed look in his eyes. He's instantly pressing forward to rub his cheek against them, and Stede can feel the tingly drag of his beard through the thin fabric, feels his cock jump at the sensation.

"Stede, holy fuck. I'm gonna live between your legs if you keep wearin' these."

Stede's heart beats a wild rhythm at the words. He's definitely tempted by the promise, will wear them again on purpose now that he knows the power silk stockings wield on Ed. He remembers the package he hid away as soon as they got home, wonders if he's gonna be as excited about wearing them himself as he's about seeing them on Stede. His mouth waters at the picture of Ed in nothing but lavender silk, cock standing proud and tattoos stark against the light shade of the fabric. His breath hitches and he groans out loud.

Ed's still lost in silk and Stede's legs, keeps running his palms and his face against them in deliberate movements that make Stede tremble. He wonders briefly how they stayed away from each other for weeks while he wore tight breeches and silk stockings day in and day out, sighs wistfully at the memory of those early days and is brought crashing back to the present by Ed's mouth sucking wetly at the skin of his leg through the silk. His back arches and he rests his weight more heavily on his arms, head falling between his shoulders and breathy moans spilling hungrily from his lips. And then Ed bites his thigh right where lace meets skin, and Stede's hips shoot off the bed, a bolt of electricity coursing all the way up from Ed's teeth to his cock.

"Like that, do ya?"

He nods vigorously, and Ed smirks and gets right back to it, pinches the tender skin between his teeth and lips and makes Stede see stars.

There's something so fucking intoxicating about Ed worshiping his body like this when he's back in his favorite clothes. He's felt desired and admired every time they've made love, couldn't feel anything but with the way Ed touches him and begs for him and cries out his name. But everything feels heightened today, as if being back in silk and embroidered satin has awakened Stede's senses to unprecedented degrees.

"Ed," he sighs longingly, runs his fingers through his hair with all the devastating affection he feels.

Ed caresses his hands up and down his calves as his mouth sucks bruises into his thighs, and Stede congratulates himself on the stroke of genius that told him to invite Ed into the store earlier and led to this particular moment in time. He thinks it may have been the smartest thing he did since he left Bridgetown and settled down here to renovate an inn with the love of his life.

"This is making a mess," Ed tuts, pulling Stede's cock away from where it's smearing precome on his white shirt. Stede pants as his hand closes around him, whines when Ed presses his thumb against the slit and then sucks the digit into his mouth to taste it. It comes out with a loud pop, and Stede can't take his eyes away from Ed's mouth.

"What are we gonna do about it, babe?"

Stede feels like a deer caught by a hunter, eyes wide and heart racing madly against his ribs. His entire mind has gone up in flames, his body is Ed's for the taking however he wants.

"Stede, you okay?" he hears Ed ask, and realizes he went somewhere else made of pure sensation for a while. He has no idea what's happening to him tonight, and his mind feels too placid and liquid to try and find out. He'd rather just let Ed decide how best to make him feel good.

"Yeah," he whispers, and he bends down to kiss him again, thinks he can detect the barest aftertaste of salt on his tongue. Ed kisses back easily, and the way he gives Stede anything he asks for makes him say the next words without hesitation.

"You know how you like to let me take over sometimes?"

Ed nods.

"Can you do that tonight? For me?"

Ed moans and positively devours him, wraps his hands around Stede's jaw and holds him still while he kisses him and kisses him until they're both gasping and clinging to each other.

"Yes," he answers fervently. "Yeah, I can do that, love."

Stede smiles adoringly at him and relaxes further on the bed, groans when the wet heat of Ed's mouth envelops his cock and tightens his fingers reflexively in his hair. They're both here and somewhere else at the same time as Ed's tongue licks a slow stripe up his length, dips into the slit for a few seconds and disappears only to come back and do it over again. Stede cries out his name, feels the easy heat of earlier burn brighter and cascade through him, scorching him.

Ed takes the sound as the encouragement it is, sucks the head of Stede's dick eagerly between his lips, his tiny moans muffled but still audible over their heavy breathing. Wherever they are, it's together, and that's all he cares about.

Flames skitter over Stede's skin as Ed's lips slide up and down his shaft, and his hips shift in tiny movements to press into his mouth. The drag of soft fabric against his skin adds to the intoxicating luxury of it all, and Stede is drowning in molten fire.

He struggles to keep his eyes open, mind soaking in the thrill of Ed's mouth being in control of everything he feels. He shivers when he takes him deep, feels his cock hit the back of his throat and moans Ed's name reverently. Stede feels drunk on him as Ed sucks him off at a lazy rhythm, keeps taking him in as deep as he can, swallows around him and hums contentedly every time Stede's cock hits the back of his throat.

He knows how much Ed loves doing this, has watched him fall apart from nothing but Stede's cock in his mouth, and he takes pleasure in his obvious enjoyment of the act. Ed's fingers curl around his thighs as he bobs his head with abandon, pull on the lace and the silk and shoot tiny pinpricks of pressure and pain down Stede's spine that zap him like lightning.

He can feel the pleasure build and build in his hips and sweep incandescently through his whole body, the delicious rush of Ed's mouth and clever tongue drawing it out of him in increments. He bunches the lace cuffs in his fingers, enjoys the soft-rough drag of the material over his skin and the way Ed whimpers around him at the sight.

Ed's hands leave his thighs to dig into his ass and pull him closer, until his legs are resting on his shoulders. Stede spins out of control at the new position, the way his stockinged legs are on display against Ed's skin as he continues to suck him indulgently. He feels decadent and desirable, skin on fire and lungs burning on every exhalation of Ed's name. He holds onto him almost desperately with the fingers buried in his hair.

Ed's hands hold him safely in place as his nails push into his skin, the sharp sting dizzying and grounding at once, and something settles within Stede, makes him feel impossibly bright, awash with the glow of the devotion Ed is doting on him. He loses himself to the liquid fire flowing joyously inside him and sinks into blissful, velvet heat and wetness, floats happily in it for as long as he can. Ed keeps him on the edge expertly, uses his tongue and his throat to push Stede right where he wants him and draws him back just as he's about to tip over. Stede is mindless with it, made of love and pure sensation for minutes, hours, ages.

His orgasm is the cresting of a wave when it hits, breaks over him blazingly as he pulses and pulses inside Ed's mouth. His world turns hazy around the edges, body going utterly pliant and relaxed as a warm ocean of pleasure flows through him. It feels endless and golden, and he's never enjoyed giving himself over to anything this much before.

Ed sucks him greedily through it, slips off Stede's cock to swallow and breathes heavily against his thigh while Stede recovers. He gets up slowly, leaning on Stede for support as he regains the feeling in his legs.

He stands over him for a few seconds before he starts pulling off his own clothes, and only then does Stede notice that he hasn't taken a single stitch off so far. He thinks through the lingering fog of his orgasm that he should insist on fucking him in his new robe sometime soon, seeing as how clothed sex is something they both apparently enjoy. The list of things to try with him that Stede's been writing in his mind grows exponentially every hour, and he celebrates the realization that he'll never run out of things he wants to do with Ed.

He's not wearing any leather today, so undressing goes quickly, and as soon as he's done he descends on Stede hungrily, licks the taste of him back into his mouth. Stede moans and lets him rearrange him on the bed until he's kneeling between his legs again.

"Told ya I wanna live between your legs from now on," Ed groans, and the way his voice is rough from having Stede's cock down his throat makes Stede's head spin with searing want even though he came a few minutes ago.

Ed crawls leisurely back over his body, wraps Stede's legs around his waist and sinks back into his mouth. Stede tries to keep up while he swims in the heady combination of Ed's damp skin on his, the smell of sex in the room and the taste of himself still on Ed's tongue.

"I'm gonna fuck your thighs, just like this," Ed whispers suggestively into the shell of his ear before biting down on it.

Stede swallows and struggles to pull air into his lungs, clutches his shoulders while Ed's hips roll sinuously against him, his hard cock dragging against Stede's spent one and making him whimper on the edge of oversensitivity.

"Please promise me you'll wear these to bed every night," Ed asks greedily as he strokes a hand over the stockings still covering Stede's legs. A breathless giggle bursts from Stede's lungs at the request.

"You want me to sleep in silk stockings every night."

"You look fuckin' sexy in them, babe, 'course I do."

Stede glows, pleased at the compliment. Ed smooths his hands slowly against the shimmering satin of Stede's jacket, sits up to take him in.

"Fuck, Stede. Look at you." Stede blinks dazedly up at him, a question in his eyes he doesn't dare to ask with his lips. "You should see the way you look right now," Ed answers anyway. "You're the fuckin' prettiest shade of red I've ever seen, all golden and sparkly in the clothes I picked for you." Stede blushes intensely.

"Is it what you imagined?" The hunger he sees reflected in Ed's face makes him feel brave enough to ask.

Ed bends down to press their foreheads together, speaks the answer fondly against his lips.

"Merperson you was lovely, but havin' real you splayed out like this for me in the clothes I picked for you is so much fuckin' better, love." Stede's whole being lights up and overflows with love for this wonderful man, who somehow guessed exactly what Stede needed and insisted on giving it to him, who allowed him to fall apart in his arms, kept him safe while he did and then put him tenderly back together.

Ed licks his way back into his mouth, kisses the breath out of him as he rocks his body lazily against Stede's. Stede welcomes him eagerly, slides his legs over his naked skin and feels Ed shiver on top of him.

Ed sits up abruptly and pulls him up with him by the lapels of his jacket.

"Let's get you more comfortable, love," he says, and Stede can't deny that it's hot under all these layers.

The jacket is pushed delicately over his shoulders and down his arms, and Ed stands to fold it and place it on the chair in the corner of their room before he keeps undressing him. Stede's heart swells at the gesture, at the care he shows for his precious things and for him both.

He feels a pang of regret as Ed removes the waistcoat - it really is his favorite piece. He's already planning how he can start wearing it with his other clothes, coming up with exciting combinations of colors and textures. Ed must see something on his face, because he places it on the bed next to him, smiles and says, "You really like this, don't ya?"

Stede nods.

"Hmm. I could put it back on, fuck you in nothing but your silk socks and your shiny new waistcoat."

Stede feels his cock twitch in interest at the suggestion, thinks maybe if they'd been doing this a few decades earlier Ed's tone would have been enough to get him hard again, with the way his words shoot fire through his whole body. He stares at him with wide eyes, lips parting soundlessly, and Ed just grins and pulls the shirt over his head to drop it somewhere around their feet.

He puts the waistcoat back on him just as he promised once he has divested Stede of the rest of his clothes, and sits back on his heels to admire his work. He must truly like what he sees, because his eyes go dark with hunger.

"Want you right now," he growls, and surges into Stede to push their mouths back together, bites his lips until Stede's ready to beg for it.

"You can have me," he gasps wantonly in between kisses.

Ed is reluctant to pull away from him despite the urgency of his words, keeps nibbling Stede's lips between his teeth like he can't help himself, and Stede understands the feeling perfectly, wants nothing more than to hold him forever, be touching him constantly. He runs his hands over his back, revels in the broadness and hard muscle they meet, the solidity of Ed's body above him.

Ed does move eventually, grabs the vial of oil from the shelf above the bed and spreads some over Stede's thighs. He fists a hand around his cock to slick himself up once he's done preparing him and his eyes fall shut, lips parting on a moan of Stede's name as if he's picturing sinking into the warmth of his body already. Stede couldn't look away if he wanted to - Ed in the throes of passion is the loveliest thing he's ever witnessed, lovelier than any silk or lace or pearl buttons in the whole world.

When Ed comes back to him he presses their whole bodies flush together, foreheads to feet, settles heavily on top of him. He sucks wet kisses into Stede's neck, grinds his hips into him and the slide is so much better now. Stede shudders and sighs into the safety of his mouth; he feels held and precious. Ed sinks his cock between Stede's legs, starts thrusting slowly until he finds a rhythm he likes.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful, Stede. Want you so fuckin' much all the time. Sometimes it feels like I'm gonna die if I'm not touchin' you."

Hearing his sentiment from earlier echoed back at him makes Stede feel glad that the intensity is mutual, that they can simply touch and kiss and fuck whenever they want to and don't have to deny themselves ever again.

"Me too, Ed. Always."

He presses his legs together as tight as he can, holds on to Ed's arms as he fucks into him, the glide of his impossibly warm cock between the sensitive skin of his thighs and the way it drags against his balls on every other thrust making him feel delirious and ragged. His nails dig into Ed's biceps as Ed pants above him, pace becoming faster and more erratic with every minute.

Stede feels his urgency as if it was his own, the waves of pleasure radiating off of Ed crashing into him and making his blood thrum with desire. He's never felt this intensely aroused after having already spent himself before. Ed's holding himself up on his elbows and snapping his hips feverishly above him, cock dragging deliciously against the meat of Stede's thighs.

"So fuckin' close, Stede. Fuck. Want you so hggn much. You're so fuckin' tight and soft."

Stede is breathless at the praise, all the needy corners inside him that have gone neglected for decades filling with the brightness of Ed's desire for him. The drive to make Ed come is equally intense, to feel the proof of his love and his pleasure on his body.

"Come on, darling, show me how good I make you feel."

A guttural moan tears from Ed's chest, a frantic litany of his name falling from his lips, and Stede feels him come warm and welcome between his legs, moans right along with him as Ed's orgasm ripples through them both.

Ed collapses boneless on top of Stede once he's done working himself through it, as if his limbs have given up on the task of holding him up, and Stede receives him gladly, relishes the sweat on his skin and Ed's hot breaths against his neck.

"Fuck," Ed says eventually, when he's regained the ability to speak. "That was..."

"Yeah," Stede agrees fervently.

"We need to go clothes shoppin' more often."

Stede laughs, sated and exhausted.

"We definitely will. But we're not even done trying on everything we got this time. I haven't seen you in your new robe yet. And I have a surprise for you, too."

Ed unpeels his face from Stede's shoulder to look at him eagerly.

"I may need to stay on this bed for a few days before I can move again, though," he jokes. Ed snorts against his skin.

"Talk about you, mate. I did all the work tonight."

"And you did such a great job that my legs have turned to jelly," Stede replies honestly, and he can feel the tiny huff of pride and amusement Ed lets out even though his face is still buried against Stede's neck.

"Well, I'm gonna have to get up sooner or later," he grouses, put upon. "Unless you want me to clean you up with your shirt."

"Don't you dare, Edward. My boyfriend got that for me," Stede chides fondly.

"Mm, sounds like a nice guy, this boyfriend of yours."

Stede looks at him with endless affection in his eyes.

"He's the best boyfriend. And the best man. I don't know how I got so lucky."

Ed starts to raise himself on his arms and drops a loving kiss on his mouth.

"Right back atcha, babe." He stays against Stede's lips for a few more seconds. "'M really gonna have to go get somethin' to clean you up with, don't wanna ruin all that pretty silk with spunk."

Stede makes a grossed out face at him, and Ed's laughter lingers behind even when he leaves the room.

He returns with a damp cloth and runs it over Stede's thighs and stomach gently, cleans off every last drop of oil and spend, still worshiping his body with every touch. Stede lies on the sheets and allows himself to be taken care of, basks in the tiredness of his muscles and the happy sparks still coursing through him and the love Ed shows him always.

"Up," Ed says, grabbing his hand and pulling once he's tossed the rag aside. He removes the waistcoat when Stede complies, folds it and sets it and the shirt down with the jacket on the chair, picks the breeches up off the floor and does the same. His own pants and shirt follow.

"Those are stayin' on tonight," he says, nodding towards Stede's legs. Stede stretches out contentedly, doesn't even dream of arguing, not after the reaction the stockings got.

"Dickfuck!" Ed yelps.

"What?"

"Stepped on a button," he complains, rubbing his foot resentfully and bending down to retrieve the offending bit of metal.

Stede laughs.

"I'll hunt them down in the morning and put them somewhere far away from your feet, darling, don't worry."

Ed steps carefully on his way back towards the bed once he's done folding their clothes, keeps an eye on the floor for more unexpected attacks. When he's made it back safely he grabs Stede in his arms and shifts him around to lay them down side by side on their bed. Arms go around waists and legs tangle together instantly, as if staying away from each other for a second longer was impossible.

A question pops into Stede's mind when they've been lying quietly together for a few minutes enjoying their post coital bliss, and he has to ask.

"Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"Would it be okay if... if I didn't want to dress like this every day again?" He bites his lower lip, oddly nervous about this. "I just... like my other clothes, too."

He thinks of the colorful cummerbund he added to his black pants, made with a bit of salvaged fabric, and the blue shirt he was wearing when Ed first told him that he loved him, the one he later tore the laces off of with his teeth. Or the red shirt with the lovely black ruffles that survived the purging of his red suit, the one Ed complimented him on when they kissed under the moonlight. He loves collecting clothes, and he grows attached to most of them for some reason or other (most of them seem to be Ed related these days).

As fun and enjoyable as it is to have nice suits again, he doesn't want to go back to dressing in no less than three layers at all times. Sometimes it's nice to have less stuff on, to be able to move more freely, feel the sea breeze and the sun on his bare skin, watch the way Ed ogles his chest in every low cut shirt he puts on. There are so many more pleasures in life than Stede once dreamed of.

Ed smiles and kisses him playfully on the nose.

"Babe, ya could wear the rice sack the crew made me put on every day and I'd still want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Stede grimaces in horror, thinks that may be too much to ask even of someone as generous as Ed, and definitely too much to ask of him. A lack of color and variety he can live with, but sack cloth is a step too far.

Ed laughs at his alarmed expression and hides his face in the crook of his neck, keeps shaking with laughter against him.

"Seriously, Stede," he says once he's calmed down. "You can wear whatever you want. 'Slong as it's what you want, I'll love it. I love you."

Love thrums golden through Stede's veins at the acceptance, at the praise and adoration he's been showered with all night. It pools warm in his heart and lulls him pleasantly to sleep in Ed's arms.

"Love you, too," he whispers right before sleep claims him.

[justin-chapmanswers]

You're trying too hard to make the II cast sound like real people. They're always whining about not being liked or being betrayed and have social anxiety 24/7 when that's not how people really are. you could balance it out with some s1-styled minimum-necessary dialogue where characters just call each other dumb and ugly and stupid and kick each other into the sun. idk i just feel like scenes like those get to the point faster and keeps things balanced

Totally get that from the perspective of anyone who's entry-point to the show is s1, which I'm sure is plentyyy-common. And there's definitely a lot of this sentiment in the air today with Webz's video on the subject having just come out, with plenty of smart analysis regarding how the different eras of the show depict character.

I like a lot of what comes with the season one era. It's fun to revisit us as kids work with what came naturally to us. It's fun to see the wacky spontaneity that'd come about that would then be put to paper and never questioned. (And, even at that, I wasn't part of the writing team until fairly late into the season. So I can't take all too much credit for the early-show artistry.)

That all said, like noted above, that's what came naturally to us at that point. We as writers have never really written the show forrrr an audience. We write it for us. In-so-far as we're looking to impressive ourselves, entertain ourselves. Create something we'd enjoy watching, were we not the creators. And I wholeheartedly believe that's the way to write. We're not young adults making a show for kids, we're just making a show for us... that is also viewable and (hopefully) understandable for a younger audience, as well.

That doesn't mean, at all, that we're not influenced by the audience and what we read online. I read way too much for my own mental health, that's a work-in-progress, but I also find it important to embrace the element of conversation between creator and viewer with online projects. And that influence becomes a little part of me for the next time I write.

That aside, were we to just try to write in the essence of season one, I believe that at best it'd come across as a shadow of its former self, trying desperately to replicate the past. I completely understand that this ask isn't blatantly saying "make more season one," but the reality is that a lot of that old style just doesn't click with who we (or at least I) are anymore. A character I care about is called a mean name and kicked into the sun, I'm going to be less-quick to find that charming and silly and am probably going to be quicker to say "oh no :((((( ." Obviously it's very very tone-dependent, but my soul drips with sentimentality, so of course that's going to carry through when I'm bringing my art to the world. Anything less would be dishonest.

And, frankly, I've seen a lot of strong feedback that gives the very opposite essence of this ask: "please please, bring back the tone of season two, that's what I'm here for." Which I completely get as well. I love it, a lot of the work that I'm proudest of is from later season two. Ultimately, I do like to find a balance, and the best I can do is hope that people vibe with that.

Even with more recent work of mine on the show, I'll look back on and criticize myself on how that's it. Too jokey here, too schmaltzy there, need more room to breathe and explore here, this section is nonsense and cuttable there. It happens. But come the end, I'm happy season one exists. I'm happy season two exists. And I'm especially happy that we're able to work on a production that is so authentically us.

[codename-adler]

I LOVE BABY GIRL, GOOD LUCK. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO WRITE IT SOON. WE'RE IN RENISON DROUGHT!!

but per your Kevin suggestions..... u choose! both Start of Time and The Language of Boys sound awesome!

so sorries for the late late response! as an apology, why don't i answer both? (who am i kidding, this is totally a treat for me. i need to yappa yappa yap away to procrastinate finishing my fic for daylight savings...)

Adler's WiPs ~ Project: Start of Time

Literally: Andrew bathing Kevin. a bath AU. that's all.

this was supposed to be my 2nd fic for the Daylight Savings Fic Fest, a self-prompt, but alas my claimed prompt took way more time and brain juices than anticipated, so i had to cancel it for the time being. the idea is very much still alive tho!

i went through frankly impressive mental gymnastics to figure out a credible (to me) way to put these bad boys in that specific situation.

the summary i gave @dayurno (and subsequently forgot):

Andrew gives Kevin a bath. It's like the reverse put-it-in-rice-if-it's-broken. Andrew says 'dunk it in water to make it better' and you know what? it works. All kidding aside, something traumatic happens to Kevin that makes him dissociate, and Andrew takes it upon himself to take care of him while he makes his way back to reality. might turn NSFW, we'll see.

the vibe it brings to the function:

non-sexual intimacy, body worship, non-sexual aftercare

angst, hurt/comfort, PTSD

getting together / non-established relationship (Kandrew)

baptism imagery? rebirth imagery?

a very Carrie moment

a very Vesper Lynd/James Bond in Casino Royale moment

touch-starved Kevin Day

vulnerable Kevin Day

soft Andrew Minyard

soft Kandrew

Andreil/Kandreil left unsaid & up to interpretation; only Kandrew centric

post-canon

Andrew Minyard Saves the Day

starring special guest Jean Moreau

song: Start of Time by Gabrielle Aplin

in more details: because of the way the Championships finale ended, and because Kevin and the Foxes can never get a goddamn break, the victory ceremony is held weeks later, and Riko's funeral is scheduled the day right after. When Kevin and Jean are forced to go, they get attacked by angry Ravens fan after they bury the casket. While Jean manages to get Kevin safely back to the hotel, he cannot get him safely out of his troubled mind. That's Andrew's job. Hopefully some good will come of this.

lord knows how long i've obsessed over the idea of Andrew bathing Kevin. i truly do not know why.

Adler's WiPs ~ Project: The Language of Boys

pairing(s): Kandreil getting together, Kandrew centric, established Andreil

vague summary: While in the Pros, Andrew is injured during a game. Because all three men are on different teams, nobody is there for him when it happens; however, Kevin is closest to where the match is happening, so he is the one designated to keep vigil at Andrew's hospital bedside. Feelings ensue and are revealed, until Neil arrives at last and things are well again, times three.

key scene: Kevin being the one Andrew wakes up to and loving it

featuring: Andrew & Allison 'friendship' - the most important phone calls - body language and the importance of even the smallest gestures - vulnerable Andrew & protective Kevin - lots and lots of staring - there was only one (hospital) bed - worship and reverence

inspo: The Language of Girls by Ramin Djawadi, from the HotD soundtrack

consider these 2 the mirror of each other, i guess! i just really, really need soft and vulnerable Kandrew in my life.

[oli-reads]

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 "𝐀 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥'𝐬 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫" 𝐛𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧

“I’ve already learned my lesson here: when you catch someone lying about a murdered girl, you go ask them why.”

Title A Good Girl's Guide To Murder

Author Holly Jackson

Genre Mystery; Thriller; YA

Pages 433

THIS REVIEW HAS A COUPLE OF SPOILERS, NOTHING TOO SIGNIFICANT.

Hello fellow readers! What I have in my paws today is a review of "A Good Girl's Guide To Murder" by Holly Jackson! This is a YA mystery-thriller with a lot of twists and turns, investigation entry logs, maps, etc, which allow you to get into the whole investigative vibe!

Reading Flow ★★★★★

Writing ★★★★★

Plot ★★★★

Characters ★★★★

Spicy none

“But sometimes remembering isn’t for yourself, sometimes you do it just to make someone else smile. Those lies were allowed.”

Goodreads rating 4.33★ My rating 4.5★

This one had me hooked asf. I went from not wanting to put it down, to reaching the final chapters and not wanting to continue it because I was enjoying myself too much to finish it. ����

*SPOILER ALERT* I really enjoyed the whole plot and was excited for most of it but I was a little sad and confused with Barney's death. I don't think it was necessary and it actually bummed me out quite a lot.

Aside from that I really was at the edge of my seat at the end of each chapter as the investigation got more and more captivating, I just HAD TO KNOW what happened and so I found it a very easy-to-read book because it flows naturally. It mentions various subjects like mental health, substance use, sexual assault and at some point even racism. It has romance happening in the background but it's never the focus and aside from the characters interactions you don't see much mention of it.

“He kissed her, and she glowed with that feeling. The one with wings. “You bring the rain down on them, Pip.” “I will.”

This book will have a tv show adaptation some time soon! Shooting has already wrapped up yet we don't have a date yet. I'm both excited and scared for this because, well, we know how hard it is to capture a book's magic and expectation, but at least it's not a movie. I think it has more potential if we have several episodes to explore the story.

“women can be just as dangerous as men.”

Anyway, if you made it this far thank you for reading this review! I'll leave you with the synopsis if you'd like to take a look, as well as it's Goodreads link. See you soon! 𓃠

If you'd like, follow Oli's instagram page!

SYNOPSIS

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40916679-a-good-girl-s-guide-to-murder

Everyone in Fairview knows the story.

Pretty and popular high school senior Andie Bell was murdered by her boyfriend, Sal Singh, who then killed himself. It was all anyone could talk about. And five years later, Pip sees how the tragedy still haunts her town.

But she can't shake the feeling that there was more to what happened that day. She knew Sal when she was a child, and he was always so kind to her. How could he possibly have been a killer?

Now a senior herself, Pip decides to reexamine the closed case for her final project, at first just to cast doubt on the original investigation. But soon she discovers a trail of dark secrets that might actually prove Sal innocent . . . and the line between past and present begins to blur. Someone in Fairview doesn't want Pip digging around for answers, and now her own life might be in danger.

[wereonourwayhome]

do you think that john had adhd?

oh hmm, good question! i will try my best to answer it!

first, a disclaimer: i'm not mentally (or professionally) equipped to go full DSM-5 on him at the moment, but here are my observations, based on A) what i know about him as a public figure, B) that degree in psychology i never finished, and C) my own experiences having ADHD/C-PTSD:

so like, vibes alone, i definitely look at him and my gut instinct is "this is not a neurotypical person!" he's got the stink (affectionate) on him, whatever that means. like gaydar but for fellow neurodivergents, yanno?

(side note: all of the beatles ping this for me, and given my own experiences with making close friends and being neurodivergent, i feel like this explains a lot about why the bugs were so tight for so long. see also: george and bob dylan 👁👁)

anyway, back to john! he definitely has some (or a lot) of the dreamy/inattentive/fidgety/impulsive/obsessive/hyperfocused energy and Mood Disregulation™ that can come with ADHD. we've seen him call himself lazy (often a big red arrow pointing toward neurodivergence), as well as struggling to do things he doesn't want to do, which points to executive dysfunction. (describing song writing as "torture" and saying he literally cannot bring himself to play with his son, even though he wants to.)

he's also self-reported serious problems with impulse control (violence, overeating, verbal abuse, risky behavior, drug abuse, etc.) that he later feels shame or regret over. he's got a lot of internalized ego-dystonic behavior that comes with ADHD!

keep in mind, though--a lot of the above can also be attributed to PTSD, C-PTSD or BPD, which are diagnoses that i would be most confident putting money on. BUT, these are often comorbid with neurodivergence, and i'm inclined to argue that neurodivergence makes someone way more predisposed to developing C-PTSD or BPD.

sooo...i dunno! i think he's someone you could easily project ADHD onto, if you were so inclined, with a fair amount of reason to back it up. writing this out has certainly made me think about it more, and it might be something i intentionally include in future characterization.

in closing, i just want to say that i don't think there's any meaningful ethical concern wrt speculating about historical figures' personal lives and playing in the space and writing meta about your blorbos. as long as you aren't doing it AT them, where they'll likely see it, or in a way that might affect their career, i don't see the issue. (and, uh, that's definitely not a problem here lmao.) basically, if you can write fic about them, then you can write meta and armchair diagnose them for funsies 🤷‍♀️

but yeah! this might be something i actually dive into at some point. i skimmed some interviews for this, and the more i read, the more i'm like "oh...yeah. hmm!"

(spoiler: i probably won't. oops.)

[crossingbaranduin]

Got a big project due tomorrow, so time to procrastinate in the best way I know how: headcanons! A TAJ one again — this time about Mike's powers!

Have been thinking about what the significant downside of each characters’ powers would be, since that’s slowly come up more in the show. Ty’s is obvious + canon already. I’d say Axl’s stays a bit less defined like his powers are overall (though I’d count the lack of control + ties to emotion as the downside). While I don’t vibe with the “Bragi communicates directly with Anders” headcanon out of some specific AUs, I do like the idea that the connection to words leads to constantly having too many thought streams all at once/effectively never having mental quiet. (I’ve also seen that tied to his usage of alcohol/drugs, as a way to somewhat keep it down, which would make a lot of sense imo.) But I haven’t seen a headcanon for Mike before, so I’d like to suggest: sensory overload/overstimulation!

(This got very, very detailed, so putting the rest under a read more! I have... a lot of thoughts.)

This idea is a loose exaggeration of the hunting skill in the show, with the upside being that in general, Ullr grants better senses to boost that. The downside, though, is that mortal vessels aren’t really built to take in that much sensory input, and without a good way to turn it off, it could get overwhelming very fast.

However, I don’t think Mike actually puts it together that it’s because of Ullr for a lot of reasons:

1) Mike is effectively flying blind with the whole powers thing. He’s the first one to manifest, with next to no guidance, and then is just basically trying to keep shit together. The connection just… doesn’t get made. Anders also doesn’t bring Bragi’s downsides up because 1) he and Mike aren’t close enough around that point to talk about it and 2) since Mike never mentioned there being downsides in that way, Anders also takes a while to put it together. (I also think he’d be less likely to openly admit it as a weakness for a lot of reasons, but that’s for another post!) By the time we get a Johnson with obvious downsides — Ty — his are so much more severe that it doesn’t occur that everyone technically has the same issue, Ty’s is just… a lot worse.

2) I like the headcanons that bring up how stifling powers as a vessel could have consequences later down the line. Mike cuts off his usage of Ullr fairly early, and with that, cutting his extra senses off also cuts off the flood of sensory input. Sure, it can leak through sometimes, but it’s no longer a consistent issue. When he does finally decide to use his powers actively again at the end of S1… oh boy, that’s gonna be one hell of a dam breaking. At first, there’s enough major life changes going on at that point to chalk it up to stress, but bottling up powers for the majority of fifteen years is gonna leave them very out of whack once they’re no longer suppressed.

3) Again with referencing other posts I should make: I have a long hc about how the first year or so of god powers is overwhelming mentally and tends to lead to a lot of rash behavior and all-around bad ideas while everything settles out. My personal TAJ timeline has Rob’s accident taking place about 3 months after Mike turns 21, so since Mike shoved everything down during that first year, that settling-in process got somewhat messed up. It attempts to fix itself once he actively starts using his powers again — aka unknowingly dumping him back where he left off. Combine the major life problems he goes through at the end of S1, Ullr’s powers in general — aka easily abusable for dumb shit, and that god-power-settling… and yeah, you get early-S2 Mike.

4) A good chunk of it can also be assigned to Mike just not wanting to admit things are wrong in general. Can’t have a problem if you don’t admit it, right?

Now, beyond that mountain of setup, I’d love to see a scene where it finally clicks that 1) yes, there are specific downsides to Ullr and 2) whoops, Mike needing some peace and quiet from everyone’s bullshit isn’t just because they’re a chaotic bunch, it’s because being at a 12/10 on all senses all the time can suck.

Fun details from that hypothetical scene from my Google Doc:

Mike eventually snaps about everyone and everything being too much at one of the group gatherings at the bar while it’s closed. Everyone’s actually been fairly calm and quiet that day, which is why it’s surprising. Mike can’t put it into words either, and the situation almost devolves into another usual bickering session until…

Anders puts it together first; personal headcanon is that his degree is a communications major/psych and literature minors, so that + Bragi equals General People Knowledge. Immediately puts his foot in his mouth by just blurting out “wait, are you overstimulated??” — which gets interpreted as him making a sex joke, to which Ty clarifies no, he’s being serious and is probably right, actually.

The subject gets dropped fairly quickly by Mike, who looks pretty uncomfortable with having this realization so far down the line, making the argument that it’s something they can’t fix just like with Ty’s downsides, so they should all drop it (on the threat of no more drinks). However, everyone keeps considering it privately afterwards, and Mike slowly ends up with some gifts showing up behind the bar. The next three bullet points are the gifts from each the brothers:

Anders: Pair of fancy active noise cancelling headphones. Showy, definitely not Mike’s style, but work too damn well for him to turn down. Doesn’t have a note attached, but it’s fairly obvious who they’re from, even if they don’t talk about it afterwards. Broke once due to an unfortunate accident with some god shenanigans but were mysteriously replaced rather quickly.

Ty: blackout curtains + a blackout eye mask with those cooling gel inserts. Attached with an offer to Hod-super-freeze them whenever. The latter isn't as convenient to use, since it'd definitely be the target of some ribbing (lighthearted, but enough for Mike to just proceed to refuse to use it), but Ty's ability to keep things chilled while he's around makes it a godsend (haha) sometimes. A good gift combo in general because the cycle of sensory overload + lack of sleep gets nasty fast.

Axl: combination gift from himself, Zeb, and Gaia. This is a while before weighted blankets are super commercially available, but he read about it online and wants to make one for Mike. Major problem: he has zero sewing skills. Zeb tries to help but equally has no skills. Gaia takes pity on them and helps them with the sewing (with a joke about how it’s better than sewing up stitches from one of their other bad plans, at least). One side is a fairly standard flannel pattern; the other is something referencing Ullr (casino cards and dice?) This is the only one directly delivered and not just left at the bar; the whole thing has "awkward but genuinely sweet Father's Day gift-giving" vibes.

Directly asking Mike if he’s overstimulated when he’s annoyed will only make it worse… but caving eventually to go take a bit and chill out is still better than sensory overload, so this group with zero boundaries will prod him anyways. There’s a lot of ribbing about if he doesn’t go chill out, they’ll actually go through with drinking the whole bar’s stock this time.

This ended up probably longer than the eventual fic itself, and with many other headcanons interspersed, but if you read this far, I hope you enjoyed it! Writing headcanons and scenarios for this show is just too much fun. (PS: apologies for any super dense text! Tumblr's formatting was not cooperating, RIP.)

[piscesseer]

Exploring the Fiery Trail: Mars in Sagittarius

Get ready for a burst of energy and enthusiasm as Mars, the red planet of action and desire, makes its way into the adventurous and optimistic realm of Sagittarius on November 24 and stays there for the rest of th year. This transit promises to be a journey filled with passion, exploration, and a thirst for knowledge. Let's delve into the cosmic energies at play and explore how Mars in Sagittarius might influence us.

This transit brings a fiery and adventurous vibe to the forefront, infusing our lives with the desire for exploration, growth, and a touch of spontaneity. Positivity abounds during this transit, as the optimistic nature of Sagittarius blends with Mars' drive. This combination can provide individuals with the mental fortitude to overcome challenges and approach life with a can-do attitude.

As Mars stirs the pot, collective discussions on ideological and philosophical matters may become more prominent. This could lead to a deeper understanding of diverse perspectives. The fiery energy of Mars can fuel passions for social justice and activism. Movements aimed at positive change may gain momentum, driven by a sense of purpose and a desire to make a meaningful impact on the world.

Mars in Sagittarius ignites a fire within us, fostering a sense of passion and motivation. This is an excellent time to pursue personal and professional goals with vigor and enthusiasm. Though often we start projects with excitement, though we may not stick to one thing. There’s a tendency to jump in and think later with this transit. On the flip side, Mars in Sagittarius may lead to impulsivity. It's essential for individuals to strike a balance between seizing opportunities and considering the potential consequences of their actions.

The influence of Sagittarius encourages a thirst for adventure and a willingness to step out of comfort zones. Individuals may find themselves drawn to new experiences, travel, and activities that broaden their horizons. But our actions become motivated by our ideals. We start feeling restless when we’re confined. Part of us resists direction, instructions and planning ahead.

As Mars blazes its trail through the expansive and optimistic sign of Sagittarius,we are in for a dynamic and energetic period. Embrace the passion, seek adventure, and channel the optimism into meaningful pursuits. Whether you're embarking on a personal journey of growth or contributing to collective endeavors, Mars in Sagittarius invites you to harness the power of fire and forge ahead with confidence and enthusiasm.

Journal Prompts for Mars in Sagittarius:

What goals or ambitions am I most passionate about right now? What risks are you willing to take in order to achieve your goals? How can you navigate challenges with resilience and a positive mindset?

What activities or practices ignite your passion and bring you a sense of joy? How can you incorporate more of these into your daily life to maintain a positive and optimistic outlook?

In what areas of my life do I feel a strong desire for expansion and growth?

How do your beliefs and philosophies shape your actions and decisions? Are there any areas where you feel a need to reevaluate or expand your understanding?

[sweetescapeartist]

Update Again...

I'm getting my mind where it needs to be. Controlling my emotions of anger and sadness. Anger from my mistakes I made that I didn't realize were mistakes until years later. Sadness from realizing close friends were never my friends because they abandoned me when I needed them, but wanted me to be there for them. Anger from allowing myself to be manipulated into making decisions that ended up isolating myself which resulted in being abandoned by so-called friends of my past & so-called friends of my present. Dealing with the sadness of being alone with nobody who understands what I went through mentally nor emotionally. I've told some family and they can't really comprehend it. So I just navigate life mainly on my own to generate my own happiness. And I can do so at will. Just sometimes it takes more effort and time to give myself a natural high. Even with how I walk now, ppl tell me I walk like I own wherever I'm at. Its just confidence I can't contain. Not overconfidence. That opens you up for failure, and makes you too delusional to realize or admit it. It's worse than lacking confidence at times. Balanced confidence is the key. It keeps your mind & spirit at peace too.

But currently, I've gotten myself to a better place more often. So now I can focus more on my art. Drawing a few things for family and I plan to draw a family portrait of my dad & his siblings & their mother & her parents. I want to give them something to always remember.

After 2 projects for family are done, I will return to K18 art. Then I will start selling my merch in real life and set up that elusive Patreon for my DB fanart I keep talking about lol. I have a more focused mind after finding out I'm pretty much along and realizng that's not necessarily a bad thing. So with this mind that has more focus than before, I can build towards the potential I have. Potential to become an artist that is known in my area. And the many DB ideas I have that can impact the fandom in a positive way for use Krillin fans, K18 fans, & Earthling fans. I have real drive now. I just have to keep focused and keep fighting off these negative vibes that sneak up on me. I create my own barrier of positivity to counteract the negative energy of others. And with my positive energy as high as I have it, negative energy cannot bring me down like it used to & my energy can actually elevate others.

I also been working on fics, have recieved submissions that would like to remain anonymous, & so on. Those of you who are on the discord... sorry for my lack of interaction as I said to y'all there. But also thank you for continuing in my absence. You all have helped each other grow in positve ways from what I noticed. And like I said long ago, I just need to be a spark while others become flames. But I think its time I catch up to y'all and become a flame myself so we can refine an intelligent section of this fandom with our fire.

Thank y'all for putting up with me. Sorry for neglecting to respond. I've done that for a while these past 2 or 3 years because I've been going through stuff and going through changes. I've had to get myself more balanced so I can move forward at a steady pace. I'm not quite where I need to be, but I'm getting close.

[jenseclaren]

I posted 451 times in 2022

That's 451 more posts than 2021!

57 posts created (13%)

394 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dankesebi

@colors-of-feeling

@nekorosberg

@libraryofloveletters

@redfives

I tagged 206 of my posts in 2022

#nico rosberg - 58 posts

#random charlie thoughts - 35 posts

#jenson button - 27 posts

#brocedes - 23 posts

#sebastian vettel - 17 posts

#lewis hamilton - 16 posts

#charlie writes - 16 posts

#princess cake - 10 posts

#f1 - 10 posts

#jenseclaren masterlist - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 72 characters

#it’s from 2005 when jenson was in istanbul to test istanbul park circuit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the sluttiest thing a man can do is be jenson button

82 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#4

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS

118 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#3

making assumptions (judging you) based on your favourite f1rpf pairing

Brocedes: Did you take your meds today? Your favourite ao3 tag is probably angst. You probably get overly attached to people with the fear of losing them. You read Brocedes fics just to feel something.

Martian: Is this a right time to talk about your daddy issues or should i come back later? You probably go for people older than you and most likely with a protective instinct in relationships.

Sewis: You are the one person in your friend group who has their shit together. You also don’t need fan fiction to add excitement into your life. You are comfortable in your place. Probably mentally stable (but that’s questionable)

Simi: You live for the sunshine/grumpy trope. It’s probably because you are either of them and lowkey desperate for a sunshine or a grumpy of your own. You are in general very quiet and lowkey, you don’t like to be the centre of attention.

Princess Cake: Horny, you are definitely very horny. Also you tend to project into either side of this pairing. You probably talk a lot. You are a fun person to be around, you bring good vibes and chaotic energy to the group. Probably a bit bratty too but that’s not too bad, keeps you interesting.

Sebson: You are probably into hurt/comfort fics. You are very knowledgable in topics you are interested in. Basically you’re a huge nerd. You are either extremely introverted or extremely extroverted, no in between. Reading fan fiction is probably your comfort activity.

Carlando: You are gay and your first moment of realisation was your best friend in middle school. If you were a pre-teen/teen in the early 2010s, you had a YouTubers phase. You are very energetic, probably too energetic.

Lestappen: You had unrestricted internet access as a kid. There is no other explanation why you would turn out this way. You are probably very competitive and take your ambitions very seriously. People either love you or hate you.

Maxiel: You are in love with your best friend. You love partying and (maybe) drinking games. You are the kind of person who puts people’s moods up. You are a delight to hang out with. You are confident and but really insecure at the same time.

155 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#2

Do y’all see it or am I the only one?

178 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

we won but at what cost

359 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[robinschadel-author]

Brainstorming: The Notebook Hack

Writers, do you collect notebooks? Of course you do! Do you love looking at the pretty covers, the beautiful pages, the feel of the crisp corners as you riffle through them? Why am I asking such obvious questions? And do do you toss them in a box unused because you feel none of your ideas are "good enough" for this work of art? If you've been on the internet for any length of time, you know this trope in the writing community, and it probably has a grain of truth in your own process. But what if I promised you a hack that I've found that allows me to actually put ideas down in a notebook and use it for productive brainstorming sessions? In this blog post, I'm going to briefly talk about brainstorming and then discuss my notebook hack. It works for me, so I hope it will work for you! Brainstorming Brainstorming is a process used to generate ideas for a novel by coming up with as many ideas as possible, without judging or evaluating them. These ideas can be related to plot, characters, setting, themes, and more. The goal is to generate a large number of potential options, from which you can later select the best ideas to use in the novel. Brainstorming can be done through free-flowing discussions, written lists, mind mapping, or other methods. It is an important step in the writing process, as it helps the author to explore different possibilities and develop a solid foundation for the story. Easy enough, right? Whether a plotter or a pantser, brainstorming is a process you incorporate. And I realize it's often idiosyncratic. But I want to share this notebook hack I've found that works for me. The Notebook Hack The Notebook Hack has two parts. The first part is the aesthetic choice of the notebook, and the second is how I brainstorm with the notebook throughout the drafting and editing process. Aesthetics Matter So let's start with discussing the aesthetic choice of notebook. For the longest time, I used Moleskine notebooks for brainstorming. Why? Neil Gaiman used them. I always started strong, but then I fizzled halfway through the brainstorming process. Usually, I had maybe the main characters named and described, a few key locations for the setting, and maybe a general problem that would drive the plot. Nothing more. I wanted to keep working, but I couldn't bring myself to keep drafting. I tried nerdy themed notebooks, and even though I finally finished a novel I brainstormed in one such novel (Liam's Doom), I only used ten pages out of the two hundred in the journal. Thirty dollars wasted. My current project, a romance novel, has been brainstormed (and is still being brainstormed!) in a journal I found on Amazon for like $10. This journal has a femme Victorian aesthetic with flowers and little poem quotes on the textured brown and cream pages. It's a beautiful piece of art, and since the novel I'm writing has this feminine Victorian vibe with touches of Hawthorne's "Rappaccini's Daughter," the journal functions in a way other people describe "mood boards" functioning for them. Brainstorming Throughout the Drafting Process So, now let's talk about using the pretty journal. Don't brainstorm all at the beginning. Hey, wait a minute! Don't run away. I know we've been taught that brainstorming is the first step. And that's not wrong, but writing is both a linear and a circular process. So let's talk about how to brainstorm throughout the drafting process. In the Beginning Before I start writing, I do some of the brainstorming. What I do is figure out the following things: - The Overall Mood of the Novel - The Main Characters - Physical Description - Mental and Emotional Description - Social Relationships (Family, Friends/Allies, Rivals) and Current Situation (Needs, Wants, Fears, Goals) - The General Conflict - The Major Story Beats: What are the events that need to happen in the novel. For Example: Since I'm writing a romance novel, these include the Meet-Cute, The Denial of Love, the Adhesion that Forces the Protagonists Together, Growing and Blossoming Love, Growing Doubt and a Break Up, A Dark Night of the Heart, the Final Push for Love, and the Happily Ever After. - Scene by Scene breakdown of the First Chapter While Drafting Now, when I've started drafting, my brainstorming isn't done. I'm an overthinker, so I'm constantly thinking about things in my books. My drafting journal reflects that by becoming a combination of mood board, sketchbook (for maps and the occasional bad portrait), detailed drafts of chapters/sections when I get to them, a place to press flowers, a collection of memos, random ideas, scene ideas, and a daily journal of my writing experience. Sometimes, I even write a "To Do List" of things I need to go back and add, research, etc. I treat the brainstorming journal now as a place to collect anything connected to the book. Honestly, I've found that giving all of my book-related thoughts, no matter how tangential they are, a place on the page helps me critically evaluate them before committing them to a page in the manuscript. I've learned to treat my brainstorming as an ongoing process that occurs throughout the drafting process. Doing that, I fill the notebook and find myself with more excitement for the project and motivation to keep going. And that's invaluable. What about you? What brainstorming and writing hacks work for you that you'd like to share? And if you'd like to see the books I write using this method, you can find them here. Read the full article

[slushglow]

Bro just please tell us some head cannons u have for emo yuichi and Leo I need to know more - what do they like most about each other? What do they together? What do the other turtles think of him?Broooo bring in the head cannons

I AM SO GLAD U ASKED JAJSJFJFN watch how hard i can word vomit about them 🔊🔊🔊🔊

hahaha i'll just go down the list of what u mentioned here so i can maintain some self control LMFAO, but BEFORE i begin:

would like to mention that leosagi r BEST FRIENDS before they ever start a relationship in my au (which takes place a good couple yrs down the road, like late teens/early twenties. maybe even longer. i'm still debating lol) i really value platonic relationships and i guess i'm projecting but i really wanted to explore this aspect on these two cause i feel like it really fits !!!

leo was recently instated as the new leader and he's struggling under the pressure and expectations, he's having a hard time at home with the weird vibes between him and raph and splinter, he and raph r arguing a lot more, he never wants to be at home, they're all still recovering a little bit from the shredder incident and trying to make their new lair feel like how everything used to be, leo just wants things to go back to normal, etc etc. guy is not having a good time.

usagi is also struggling between three jobs and having no one to rely on. he is COMPLETELY ALONE, and has been for a while now, and at this point he's just accepted it and rolls with the punches. he is visibly a miserable guy. he doesn't have family or friends to turn to considering he's basically disgraced from his clan (not that he really wanted to stay anyway, more will be explained later HAHAHA), he's not doing well mentally either, and he's trying to stay afloat in a foreign city that he's still learning to actually live in. he's not good at relying on other people and always expects strings to be attached when it comes to people trying to look out for him, etc etc. both he and leo r not doing well.

while i admit the love at first sight is cute, that's not the road i wanted to take with them. what they both really need more than a relationship is a friend, and i think they would both find that friend in each other. i think they would be absolute menaces at their worst but also be capable of bringing out the best in each other. they r the besties ever !!!!

okay with that out of the way i am ACTUALLY going to answer ur ask now lmfao.

WHAT DO THEY LIKE MOST ABOUT EACH OTHER?

im only going to do a few qualities otherwise i will be here FOR HOURSSSS HAHAHA

USAGI:

- leo recognizes that usagi isn't one to beat around the bush, especially when it comes to telling him how he feels. he's blunt, but not generally in a mean way (usually lmfao). he tells leo what he needs to hear, even if leo in particular doesn't WANT to hear it. usagi doesn't lie to him, or ever make promises he can't keep, but he also doesn't BREAK promises that he makes. leo really appreciates that about him.

- usagi hasn't known leo his whole life, and so he doesn't have the same issue as his brothers with giving leo casual praise. yes, usagi is very much going to be the first person to call leo a gigantic dumbass, but he's also going to recognize leo is talented and calculated and very capable of being cunning when he isn't being a fool LMFAO. i think having someone that has faith in his abilities most of the time would really help settle some of leo's inferiority/superiority complex issues, especially from someone that is essentially a clean slate and doesn't have huge expectations of what they already know about leo. i think this would start leo's journey into being more self-assured, since usagi has been there to tell him what he needs to hear from the very start of their friendship. leo can always count on usagi to have his back when he's feeling down about himself :)

- usagi is actually very hilarious. leo didn't see it much when they were first getting to know each other but usagi makes the MOST out of pocket comments and jokes all the time with a completely straight face and it cracks leo up. usagi starts being a lot more silly with leo once they've been around each other more and his humor starts showing through. also usagi is like the only person in the world that will laugh at leo's awful puns. usagi recognizes they're awful and he KNOWS they r so so awful but he can't help but laugh bc leo's delivery is so good. the first time leo makes usagi laugh he goes out of his way to make him do it again bc usagi has a really contagious laugh and he wants to hear it more !!! usagi deserves to laugh. they actually bond a lot over their inside jokes and humor lol

LEO:

- no one has ever tried to be so persistent in being usagi's friend. like, an actual friend who genuinely cares about him and just wants him to be less miserable and goes out of their way to spend time with him bc they think he's COOL and someone fun to be around. usagi didn't appreciate it at first (he thought leo was trying to make fun of him/just trying to be a nuisance) but then he realizes that leo is just like. a good person. under all the bravado and jokes and bad puns he's someone that cares and doesn't expect anything from it and usagi wants to meet leo halfway and show that he cares too. leo is essentially his first friend and first BEST FRIEND and he has no way to articulate how much he appreciates leo and the olive branch he gave him so he tries to show it as often as he can instead.

- leo also goes out of his way to spend time with usagi, whether that be between his shifts at work or literally sitting in the place of business until usagi gets off. it starts off as leo just not wanting to be home but then it's genuinely just him trying to spend as much time with usagi as possible before he has to work again (which is basically all the time.) they never run out of things to talk about, and when usagi is too drained to actually hold a conversation leo can fill the silence for literal HOURS and usagi never gets tired of it bc he likes to listen to leo talk, and leo doesn't feel like he's annoying or anything. they can also exist in silence with each other and just enjoy the other's presence. it's never awkward and it's just really natural for them both!

- usagi hasnt really had someone like . worry about his well-being in a long time and so leo constantly being up in his business asking him if he's gotten enough sleep/if he's feeling okay takes a lot to get used to. it grated his nerves at first but then leo explained that usagi always seems so sad and downright depressed and he always asks if there's something that he can do to make him feel a little better. leo doesn't really motherhen him which usagi appreciates also; he acknowledges that usagi isn't feeling great and will try to do something to make him feel better but he backs off bc he knows how annoying it is when people won't listen to how much u DONT want to talk about it (looking at u very lovingly rn raph ❤️ ur trying ur best). usagi also does the same for leo, they only push each other to talk when they REALLY think the other needs an intervention haha.

OTHERS:

- they do the thing where if they get food, often times the other likes whatever part they don't. usagi doesn't like salami and whatnot on his pizza so he'll pick it off and let leo eat it; leo doesn't like the crunchy parts on crab ragoon so he'll eat the middle then let usagi eat whatever's left etc lol.

- they'll do the thing where it's like "this made me think of u" and they get it for the other, like knick knacks and little food types of stuff. they make it a competition to who can get the coolest knick knack for the other LOL

- they r both really really impressed with how talented the other is. usagi is traditionally trained and it SHOWS, he often times wins their spars and he's very very skilled and leo thinks he's so fucking cool bc he's so nonchalant about it. like usagi just did the sickest move and he's like "damn. that was crazy." and leo is like 🤯🤯🤯🤯 leo is cunning and strategic and usagi is pretty impressed (and it's hard to impress this guy !!!!) with how inventive he is on his feet, and how fast he can assess a situation just by vibes alone. leo also thinks outside the box a lot and his style of fighting is really cool to usagi; they both just think the other is the coolest HAHA.

WHAT DO THEY DO?

i already mentioned that leo goes out of his way to spend time with usagi whenever he's free, and even when he's not leo is usually right at his hip lmfao. they both go to different areas of the hidden city and hang out mostly, they do the "bro showed me a spot" and try to see who can find the coolest spot to hang out in HAHAHA. they spar and talk and joke around and share food. normal friend stuff.

sometimes usagi takes a nap bc he's so exhausted tho and leo just hangs around on his phone with him. whenever usagi is free is when they actually get to do the fun stuff; they get into deep shit sometimes in the hidden city and that's usually a fuckin time lmfao.

usagi luvsss music tho but he doesn't really have time to search for stuff on his own, so leo always shows up with music recommendations whenever they have time and exchange different songs back and forth. would like to mention usagi LOVESSS BABYMETAL and gets leo into them as a result hahaha. BABYMETAL NEVER MISSES ‼️‼️‼️‼️ banger after banger only 🔊🔊🔊

usagi also tries to teach leo more japanese and how to write kanji. he thinks it's fucking hilarious that leo doesn't know it. he's always like "u know ninjitsu, ur trained in sword fighting, and u have a literal world class japanese warrior as ur father, but u don't know japanese ??? 🤨 L." HAHAHA but they're getting there !! leo's japanese has improved a lot since he started hanging with usagi !!!

WHAT DO THE OTHERS THINK?

so leo actually gatekeeps his and usagi's friendship for almost a good yr before he ever lets usagi meet his brothers. he wanted this one thing to himself and it was kinda like an escape from all the bad vibes at home. also he was scared that usagi would think his brothers r cooler than him lmfaooo. don't worry usagi sets him straight about that tho !!!

also usagi knows a lot about leo's bros just from how much he talks/rants about them, and he tries to pay attention bc he knows leo's bros mean everything to him !!!!

raphael: he and raph actually get along pretty great !!! maybe even the most. raph does mother hen him once they get comfortable with each other but usagi knows it comes from a place of care, which he really really appreciates bc he isn't close with his family the way the guys r. they both give each other advice and have really good conversations with each other. they've both stayed awake for hours just talking about different stuff and the bros and everything. i hc raph is actually going thru a pretty bad depressive episode around this point in time too and usagi gives him some pretty sound advice about how he's feeling and how to not let it completely take over. he tells raph to also rely on the others; he knows what it's like to have ur emotions feel like a burden but he tells him there is no way the others would ever want him to feel the way he does. they care so much about him !!! usagi thinks raph is surprisingly easy to talk to also :)

donnie: at first they got on each other's nerves. i think they're both pretty similar even if donnie is slightly more eccentric, plus i imagine that like most people donnie doesn't like change, and leo HAS been changing a lot outside of his periphery ever since he started hanging with usagi more! donnie is like that's the guy that's been making my brother not come home until like eight in the morning and makes him never want to be here. so there was kinda a grudge on his part bc he does miss leo :( however i think they bond when they find themselves roasting leo together or something i just think that would be absolutely hilarious HAHAHA. they end up being really good friends also !!!! i imagine they appreciate how low energy the other can be sometimes, and usagi is genuinely impressed at how smart donnie is.

mikey: PLSSSS DONT HATE ME but i hc they get along the least. NOT BC THEY DONT LIKE EACH OTHER ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ but mikey is even more high energy than leo and sometimes usagi literally cant take it haha, but that's only when his social quota is really low already. otherwise he and mikey get along pretty great !!! mikey was one of the first ones to really initiate him into the family and let him know he's welcome any time and like obviously it's mikey so usagi has a soft spot for him. however he doesn't really like the doctor feelings schtick he pulls sometimes (among mikey's other PHDs lmfao) and he very much tries to escape those sessions when mikey busts them out HAHAHA.

i imagine usagi slotting into the family pretty easily actually, he's just another kid that splinter doesn't realize he's collecting lmfao.

i imagine him feeling sort of on the fringes at first tho, bc he hasn't known them his whole like like say april, hasn't been thru life changing battles with them like casey or cassandra. he's not even just that odd relative like draxum lol. he's just leo's friend and he doesn't want to encroach on their little unit they have going on or be a burden or anything so it takes a little while for him to open up to them and let them get to know him. they grow closer tho the more leo starts bringing him around and actually interacting :) usagi is very fond of all of them !!

WOW OKAY LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF WORD VOMIT !!! i really hope this answered ur questions !! SOOOO SORRY ABOUT THIS INCREDIBLY LONG ESSAY LMFAO could literally write a dissertation about these idiots if i tried hahaha. sorry it took me so long to answer btw i wanted to make sure i included as much information and as many points as possible without giving away too much lol.

thank u so much for ur ask !!!!