#i both want him to be happy and rest
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Me with Cas
Uh so I made a character bingo if anyone wants to try it (:
#hggggdddgs#he is everything to me#hes my friend my boytoy my little scrunklo my chew toy hes my-#i both want him to be happy and rest#yet i also want to chew on him and shake him up like a snow globe
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*clenches teeth and fists* it's fine no one comments on how Dorian is more "lithe" than before. It's fine that he's not "nearly as bulky". It's fine that he doesn't sleep well then has to wake up just to be the sunny optimist the next day. It's fine that his strings are wound so tight that he's ready to snap.
It's fine that Dorian's health is being ignored. He's the new guy, right? Fresh faced? Not burdened by the trauma of the last few months, right?
#silver sending stones#cr 3 e 104#its been bothering me for 10 episodes#dorian storm#tw body image#tw disordered eating#the way he casually talks about being “lithe” less “bulky”#those are very nice words for weight loss#it makes me sad#ot makes my heart hurt#because rations and regular fights kept him at the same weight through exu and e 1-10#its the stress that came from baby sitting his brother#it reminds me of when i wasnt eating and everyone just told me how good i looked#like i dont think we've had a sit down and eat moment since dorian came back but ill be watching like a hawk#he started choking on the cookie...#sigh#i just want dorian and orym to be happy and healthy and well fed#the way orym talks about food also freaks me out#“i only eat protein”#and like we've seen him eat other things so like its okay#but the constant working out is a little 😬#orym and dorian are going to retire to zephra and theyre going to get soft and live peaceful lives#theyre both going to just let their bodies rest
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Look, I know we Megumi fans hate jjk reddit for their lack of media literacy, empathy and habit of calling someone a fraud for the most stupid reasons.
That being said:
You can't tell me this two aren't cooking with that itafushi angst. Idk about Megumi starting the merger but the evil part of me is really into the Romeo and Juliet thing of him seeing Yuuji "dead" (whether for real or not) and then killing himself.
Not sure if i would like it for canon but i do like to think of the scenario.
#tbh im not even sure how i feel about the merger theory#i think if gege put enough effort he could MAYBE pull it off#but to me it's just hard to picture WHY megumi would do it#the theories always say its out of despair or maybe the bath doing something to him but#the first one doesn't explain what megumi's line of thinking would be. and making megumi murderous because of the bath feels kinda cheap id#romeo and juliet itafushi goes hard though#i'll be thinking about megumi seeing yuuji's body and breaking down for the rest of the day#listen i WANT megumi to be happy i swear i love him. yuuji too#it's just easier to imagine them sufffering than not. also i dont want one to live without the other#and if they both have to die so that doesn't happen so be it#itafushi#jjk manga#jjk manga spoilers#itfs#jjk reddit#megumi fushiguro#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori
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imagine saikis friends all making miis or sims of each other and theyre all going insane because they all picture saiki so differently for some reason- like the avatars look reeelatively similar but none of the features are actually the same and- why are some of them giving him a permanent smile ???
#this situation varies GREATLY depending on how far in the series it is LOL#i really want to know how they see him#like physically how they picture him#it's obviously changed since the beginning like yumehara doesnt see him as a generic kindly prince anymore but#still#his resting expression ranges from very happy (nendo) to very blank (most of them) to fucking PISSED (the psychickers)#kaido made him look almost as badass as he made his own avatar and it was embarrassing for both of them#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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wanted to make a post expanding on my sofia the first au: fia the worst, just for fun's sake ^_^ in the au, cedric is intrigued by this copy of sofia and wants to keep her around, so he lies and says she can only be destroyed with a potion. this way, he can escort her back to his tower, where he can propose the idea of the copy helping him take over the kingdom. she accepts without hesitation, thrilled to have a chance to do something so disruptive. cedric then swiftly decides to call her fia, so that things wouldn't be confusing. fia's amulet allows whoever is wearing it the ability to talk to animals, since when sofia duplicated herself, that power was active, so to speak, so it duplicated (listen i'm working with the plot hole as best i can). cedric begins using the copy of the amulet to speak properly with wormwood. the three of them concoct a plan to steal sofia's amulet; fia will pretend to be sofia after sofia herself has already gone to bed. that way, she can get into her room without being questioned. once inside, she would be careful not to wake sofia or her animal friends as she takes the amulet of avalor. after securing it, she would open the window, where wormwood would be waiting. he can then take the amulet back to cedric. fia will then hide somewhere in sofia's room until morning time, wait for her and her animal friends to leave, then sneak back to cedric's tower. fia wants to enact the plan as soon as possible, but cedric is wary. there are many things that could go wrong, and he wants them to wait a little while for the perfect opportunity, whatever that looks like to him. in the weeks following, fia gets bored a lot so cedric takes her into town to entertain her. fia was the one to suggest that he change her hair to look like his, so that she could be mistaken for his niece. the most fun fia can have, though, is messing with cedric. because in the episode where she makes her appearance she figured out so fast that he wanted the amulet, i choose to headcanon that fia is more perceptive of cedric than sofia, either for magical reasons or not. fia quickly catches on to cedric's soft spot for sofia, and abuses the fact that she is a version of sofia constantly. i'm pretty certain that i want to make fia betray cedric somehow after they manage to take over the kingdom, and he'll somewhat redeem himself by helping sofia to defeat her. i hope i actually make more for this au i actually like it a lot.
#more rambling ahead#of course#it would take a lot for sofia to trust cedric again#since this is so much worse than what he did in day of the sorcerer's#it would take a lot for sofia to trust him again#sofia would have to deal with a lot of confusing and hard feelings about that fact that cedric betrayed her for worse version of herself#i would think that cedric only went through with taking over the kingdom because wormwood and fia *both* were there to encourage him#and mostly because of his unexpected attachment to fia#in a way she fulfills his desire to have sofia by his side as his friend *and* to take over the kingdom#but it's far too good to be true since she betrays him of course#which makes the guilt cedric feels all the worse#he knows he was being selfish#and it backfired on him#and now he's lost everything#at least in day of the sorcerer's sofia hadn't given up on him yet#even after all that#but this....i don't think she would forgive him nearly as easily#not to mention the rest of the royal family#sofia wouldn't want him to be in prison#but she wouldn't be able to defend him this time#cedric himself doesn't even protest since he knows he deserves it#i guess this wouldn't have a happy ending :(#but i do love angst....sorry y'all#sofia the first#sofia the worst#stf#sofia the fandom#c*dfia dni#cedric the sorcerer#cedric the sensational
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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IM FREEEEEE
#(FROM PROJECTS)#personal#the engineering chronicles#WILL HOPEFULLY NEVER NEED TO SLEEP THREE NIGHTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE ENGINEERING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#one class the final project was to build a karaoke machine which my partner and i had planned on making look like actual speakers and#microphone but we couldn’t find the stuff in time and her mom made a joke abt singing into hairbrushes and we decided to take that and#run lol we used a pink sparkly makeup box to store our circuit and cut out holes for the speakers and decorated it with makeup and put the#hairbrush mics inside and it was very fun actually and our class voted us as one of the groups to go to project day which was pretty cool!!#project day did get canceled bc of. asnow day which was unfortunate especially considering we stayed up until 4am the night before#preparing our documents for it and trying to perfect the karaoke machine when we could have been putting that time toward project number#2 😐 but whatever we still get our extra credit and i can say i qualified for it so im happy enough#then project 2 was for another class but we’re lab partners in both (+ another guy for this project) and it was digital monster pet so we#made a dragon i was mostly on design so i hand CADed the whole thing which was living hell if i never want to lay eyes on solidworks#again but also he came out very cute after MUCH hasle putting him together with all the wires and components bc our wires from the kit are#so bad they’re constantly getting disconnected from each other which we didn’t know would happen bc the labs we usually do we don’t have to#connect them together like that since you’re not routing them thru bodies etc and they’ve worked great until now but anywya.#i did the lcd faces and the light sensor and a couple other things + a lot of the code was copy and paste from past labs and fitting it to#suit the project but for the most part it was a shit ton of hardware on my end while she and the other guy managed the rest of the code#which i really wish i could have been more involved with but oh well. as it is though he’s my baby i birthed him <3 we’re planning on#meeting up over weekends next semester to change some stuff and add other extra features that we missed we got a decent grade 85% but we#all agreed we don’t want to leave him like this we want to add the extra features we had come up with and also i think we should switch out#our motors for servos bc the motors we were required to use#instead suck they’re not strong at all compared to what a servo can do for you. also we want to make it so you can not only pet him which w#already have with light sensors but also wash him with a Hall effect sensor and magnet so like we’d stick the sensor inside and the magnet#inside a little cad brush or sponge is what im envisioning and i have an expression in mind for what we’d do then. also paint him and#redesign the platform he stands on bc it’s rlly cramped and also make a pcb bc we only have him with the microcontroller and breadboards rn#and i might mess with his face piece a bit too im not sure. oh and speakers!!! those were technically a requirement but we didn’t get them#done on time but i want to make him play music sooooo bad so definitely that. anyway want to be more involved in the software when we do#all this. pretty excited actually :]
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ough,,,, you givb me lust brainrot,,,,,,, hes jbust a littol guyTM,,,,
-juni
HECK yeah 🫶🫶🫶 good thoughts, i hope ! he deserves to be appreciated 💜
mme whne,when lust sans does anything that's so very him
(emoji src)
#ask#mblue talks#m rambles#he's a leetol guy i wanan kis#want him to feel safe being his silly self around meee#want him 2 b comfortable and safe and happier and loveddd waugh#provide comfort and solace to him#want 2 talk with him lots and be besties and open up to eachother and#and be unapologetically ourselves and accepting of eachother's quirks#have a cute lil domestic life#silly banter and teasing#let him rest his pretty tired little skull beside me while i stare at his cute sleepy face in adoration#careful not to wake him with a cheek caress or a gentle kiss atop the crown of his skull#feeling very rom about him tbh#also want both the friendship and the relationship ykwim#(i think it's funny to me that last year i myself used to feel only platonic for him until i had a character development LOL)#(but im v happy that it happened. happy that friends encouraged and supported)#i love him and i am v gay n bi abt him#yeah i have a lot of emoceans about lust sans can you tell
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one small detail that stood out to me about this latest episode that i haven’t seen anyone else talking about yet is that when the commentators are calling colin “inspiring” and the “man of the match,” they are celebrating him not for actually scoring the goals himself, but for providing the crucial assists to make both of them happen. and i really love that because for me it’s the absolute perfect wrap to his character arc across all three seasons!
like, we know that colin’s job on this team has never been to score goals. in fact i’m pretty sure we’ve never heard about a single goal that he has scored. colin is and always has been a team player, not a star—and we’ve seen that crop up over and over. notably, we’ve seen the fact that he’s not entirely at peace with that crop up over and over: see the way he was affected by nate’s entire holidy-inn-painting monologue, being benched to make room for zava, etc.—like, this is the thing he’s sensitive about! this is where all of his insecurities come from!
but at the SAME TIME it’s also tied very intimately with all his struggles re: hiding his sexuality— “colin’s a chameleon,” etc. it’s fascinating because there’s SO much tension there between colin 1. feeling bad about the fact that he never stands out on the pitch the way some of his teammates do, because of who he is on the team, and 2. feeling like he CAN’T stand out, ever, because of Who He Is As A Person. etc. it’s like. he’s filling this role in the background. he’s afraid he’s not doing it well enough. he’s afraid that what and who he is isn’t good enough and isn’t worthy of recognition. he wishes he were someone different. trying to be someone different in the locker room is clearly making him so unhappy and stressed out. it is All Connected and my thoughts have been doing laps around it at an ever-increasing rate since i watched episode 2.07 ‘headspace’ if not before!
and all of this is why it’s so incredible to me that in the end, colin’s big moment comes from making assists and not goals! because on the one hand i understand the fandom desire for the colin post-coming out glowup that we all knew was coming—to see him, like, ~prove everybody wrong about him~ and inspire people by suddenly becoming a standout player and scoring goals left and right, even though that never used to be his role on the team before. and don’t get me wrong, i was 100% on board that train, and would have loved it for him if that was how it went down in the end, also. i think he should get to score here and there! as a treat! especially now that richmond are playing total football and there’s been so much emphasis placed on how it’s not just jamie/dani/occasionally sam who are making all the goals anymore!
but i don’t know! especially after the events of the last few episodes, there’s something very special to me about getting to see a colin who, rather than becoming someone entirely new in the moments right after coming out, just feels free to become, and be at peace with, the best version of the same self he’s always been. he’s still a team player first and foremost, but now that he’s not as weighed down by the need to chameleon/hide/pretend to be someone he’s not, he’s so much better at it. and everyone sees this! he gets to be celebrated for his contributions within the role he’s always played! he (and everybody else!) finally recognizes the value that he adds to the team just by being himself—fully himself! it resolves all the tension and insecurity that we’ve seen him struggling with this whole time, on every level. and so this moment was genuinely the perfect ending for his journey in my opinion—i’m so so happy that we were tall enough to join him on the ride here, and so excited to see what he does going forward these last few episodes now that some of that pressure is off him <3
#it's like. he doesn't want to be a spokesperson! he shouldn't have to End Homophobia by becoming zava 2.0! in fact it would not be possible#for him to do this even if he DID come out publicly and then became the best goal-scorer the league has ever seen because the people who are#the problem will ALWAYS manage to find something to attack him for no matter what he does#what's important to me and i think to him as well is that he has the confidence in himself that he needs to perform at his own personal best#and that his teammates recognize this and support him the same way he has always supported them both on and off the pitch#and while a part of me would have liked to see a public coming-out arc i completely get why they're not going there. it would be a lot to#tackle and this season is already getting justified criticism for spreading itself too thin#i think it would have been POSSIBLE to do and do well but. it would place a LOT of constraints on the entire rest of the plot#and i do recognize somewhere in the back of my brain that colin is not ACTUALLY the protagonist of this show for most people#so them choosing to take the character in the ‘i don’t want to be a spokesperson’ direction instead makes sense and was handled very well#anyway. one other reason i’m pleased about all of this is that while most of my recent tl fic is no longer canon-compliant as of this week.#i sure did NAIL the happy ending being an assist and not a scored goal. have been thinking these thoughts for WEEKS and i feel so vindicated#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#colin hughes
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I am not immune to any cutes - including Rick and Morty cutes, unfortunately (Patreon)
#Doodles#Keroppi#Princess Tutu#Ahiru#Rick and Morty#Drizz#Tinkles the Magic Ballerina Lamb#And friend - and tree lol#Cure#And the really cute preying mantis girl from Vindicators 2 - what was with that miniseries having a bunch of cute designs anyway#This really is a RaM-heavy cutes dump - look if they're cute they're cute! I can't help that!#From the top first tho! Lol#Got the urge to draw some of my Sanrio faves - Cinnamoroll specifically - but I ended up only drawing Keroppi#I didn't think I had all that much of an opinion on Keroppi apart from y'know - cute lol but I like him quite a lot I think!#Simple little guy :) I like those kinds of squishy little guys haha#I already like Kuromi too so I guess I just?? have several faves now?? Alright cool lol bully for me#I can't explain the baseball uniform outside of the stripes and sometimes I just wanna draw a batter - OFFxSanrio when lol#Random e'phant for funsies :) I can't imagine what has me wanting to doodle a little trunk creachur for some reason haha#And then an Ahiru! Hweh!!! I'm still glad I added Princess Tutu to my rotation but hweh ;;#Might have maybe been poking around AO3 for post-canon fics of her being happy - not even necessarily Fix-It Fics just - she deserves happy!#There was a quite cute one of Fakir comforting her during a thunderstorm by running a sinkful of water for her :') Cute#And then the rest - Rick and Morty sheesh#Who could have figured there'd be so Much cutes! Like I personally kinda like the RaM aesthetic - especially the colours they're really nice#And yeah like Tinkles is designed to be endearing on purpose - which now that I think of it that's another thing I really like isn't it#Gigglepies and Osomons and Twonkies... Yeah the parasitic good-memory alien fits right in with that#Too bad we never see their real form while alive it's only their illusory form until they die aw#As mentioned Drizz and the Mantid girl are both so cute like this isn't fair honestly - and those trees??? In the flashback??#There's nearly matching ones in Webkinz actually which I think is very funny lol#Cure is absolutely no help with any of this - doesn't help that Never-Past-Bedtime-Land and Froopyland are both kinda like where she lives#I blame her for enjoying hopping back in she refuses to shy away from enjoyment pfbtl okay fine
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The more I think about them the more of a tragedy they become
Thoughts in the tags
#This could be taken as shipping or not#But I love the fact you could make them more doomed by the narrative or make them happy#Though I think we know what option is the most popular#Imagine Vivia constantly going back to the restricted area (in person or in ghost form) desperately clinging on to any shreads of comfort#He's in this limbo of accutally now wanting to end it but he won't do it for Yakou's sake even in his zombified state#he'll live for him even if its hard for him#maybe vivia tried to feed him ramen in person with some faint hope he wont be the empty shell he is now#if Yakou takes the pill and if its successful maybe he just shows up like nothing happens but remembers everything from his zombified state#Yakou will probably call the rest of the NDA (excluding yuma since hes MIA)#Yakou probably freaks out Abt the truth kanai ward (the homunculus#meatbuns yuma being no1 etc)#i love thinking about both their dynamic being doomed or then actually having a happy ending#maybe its just wishful thinking but just wanted to info dump#master detective archives#master detective archives: rain code#mdarc#rain code#vivia twilight#yakou furio#viviakou#cyril.txt
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When the sun is in his eyes 😍
#i am eating 2010 fernando i am munching him#hes so pretty 😭😭😭😭#just thought these two had a similar vibe :) so wanted to post#its like a reward every time i finish a race and go check his and seb's pics#WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO PEAK PRETTY AT THE BEGINNING OF 2010#<- im sure the rest of the ssn too#but seriously just always astonished whenever i check the pics#2010 era is just: Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#races:#2010 malaysian gp#2010 bahrain gp
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I still have wing brainrot so... Some very simplistic concepts with Rayray. Featuring the colors of the animal he was based on, and both of his dad's colors.
#fnafhs oc#myart#myocs#for the honeycreeper wings to work the rest of the color palette would need to be adjusted so its a no go#but I like both of the other ones#I like the colorful tropical vibes that owynn's colors give to the wings#but I feel like eak's more neutral tones would fit more with ray's personality and sense of style#both also work from a storytelling perspective: ray is a huge daddy's boy so sharing his wings with eak would be a huge symbol of that#however he also has a lot of issues with his appearance due to looking so much like owynn#and how that reminds him of the many issues in their father/son dynamic#having his wings -something that's hugely visible and impossible to hide- carry owynn's colors could reinforce that#ray sometimes wants to forget about his father but he can't. because he carries a giant symbol of his father on his back#then again. maybe I should give the poor kid a break and just let him be happy lol#his wings looking like eak's would mean ray has something about his appearance he can feel fully proud of#something that doesn't bring forth insecurities or thoughts of owynn or anything else. just a point of joy#oc raymond
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it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.
#fugo.txt#like. idk i feel like im repeating myself but i cant stress this shit enough man. she was just a little girl#she was like 10#damn.#and like by that point she had already very much gone thru a lot of death. her parents were gone and the only family she had was her sister#and the only friend she had was her dog.#and then they both died. and she saw them die. right after the other. and then she was completely alone#idk looking at it thru that lense its not surprising at all that she decided to do all that. she was grieving and she didn't have anyone-#-to guide her in that. and the only logical progression she could fathom is that whoever killed her sister should suffer the same.#and deep down she knows she's doing this for herself because she doesn't KNOW what else to do. and she feels guilty. what would clara even-#think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all.#thats why she froze up when fighting against kocaqi. his sister also died right in front of him. but he did what she couldnt do#he gave her peace of mind. he gave her a dignified death. she died happy. clara didnt. and sheila can NEVER give that to her#all she can do is posthumously give her peace by murdering her murderer. but would Clara want that?#ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50#but. man..#please take the time to think of her tjis december
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90s Raphael’s characterization between the first movie and the next two is interesting. Could make for a good fic.
I love Raph's characterisation across the 90s trilogy.
There are so many little things I could point out, but overall, I love that he's a little guy with big feelings! He doesn't always know what to do with them given he's a teenager with sensory issues and trauma. I love his strong convictions about right and wrong and justice and helping others and protecting his family and bystanders. I love watching this kid who spent fifteen years in isolation discover what he wants and fight for it.
Splinter tells him and his brothers their whole lives (as gently as possible) that the world above will never understand or accept them, but Raph carves out a place for himself anyway. He must have brought home so many strays growing up, and then he brings home three humans who change their lives. As he gets to know April, Casey, and Keno, he learns that he craves connection, a wider social circle than his family can offer. He wants people to know he exists. And we see how much he wants, but the price to have it is too steep. Because he can't reveal himself to the whole world and protect his family; he can't live in ancient Japan and have them, too. Despite so desperately wanting more, he chooses his family every time. I love when tmnt media and fandom explore these aspects of Raph.
My 90s fics tend to focus on how Raph is harmed by their conflict with the Foot Clan.
Sunset is my take on some of the missing hours between Raph's capture and rescue from Foot HQ.
Wrestling imagines how Raph might've broken down after the first two movies given everything he went through.
Thanks for the ask =)
#rewatched parts of the movies to help answer this and man i forgot how much i love 90s raph#i like to think he was a very weepy toddler/little kid who liked to snuggle#but at some point began to perceive that as a weakness and now he shouts and punches when really he wants to cry and be held#but! it's okay! because his family still makes sure he gets those things#in the first movie splinter can tell raph is upset when he comes home#so he calls him to his side to offer wisdom and comfort him#his brothers know he needs space sometimes and are more than willing to give it#but don still reaches out first when he sees how upset raph is about losing his sai#and you can tell raph is so uncomfortable stewing in stress and uncertainty#that sometimes he lashes out at leo or don or someone that will push back and start a fight#but there's this sweet scene when they come back from the farmhouse#where raph expresses frustration that they don't immediately set out to look for splinter#so leo calmly reminds him that they need rest and it does seem to settle his mind!#and all the bros are physically affectionate with each other and splinter and april#gah it just makes me very happy#that he struggles but has a loving family and that doesn't erase his struggles but they still help and love him a lot#both of these fics are from a raph-centric event i participated in back in march by the way!#raphael splinterson#tmnt 1990s#tmnt#my asks#whattrainofthought#writing off the rails
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Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
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