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samkerrworshipper · 1 year ago

Text

togetherness

matilda’s x reader

this one’s a long one so rip

also pls keep sending request lol i need ideas

your a rookie on the squad, struggling to find your footing in a team that you don’t think you fit into. what happens when a certain conflict arises between you and one of your teammates?

angst, little bit of fluff, 5k+ words

I couldn’t really give you a timeline on when I started to space out, when I started to check out. I knew chronologically it would have had to be a few weeks ago, after the world cup had started, just after my whole life had become a shit storm. It was a process, checking out of your own life, it took time, I think that’s why I couldn’t tell you the one moment that I started to, because there wasn’t an exact moment. Slowly the days just all start to smudge into one big mess, you can’t tell people what day it is anymore or when your last meal was. Which sounds stupid, because those are just mundane things. When you check out of life though those things stop mattering, for me I either sleep obtusely or I don’t sleep at all, I don’t eat, I forget how to look after myself. I try to be discreet about it for as long as I can, but eventually people catch on, especially when you are playing professional sport, because you are surrounded by doctors and athletes that know the signs of burnout.

At around two weeks, I think, I could tell my team was catching onto my behaviour. I was a mess, I came to breakfast in the morning with puffy red eyes from crying at night, I didn’t really talk to anyone unless I had to, I was always tired, I kept to myself a little bit too much. It was a matter of time until I was approached, probably told off for having a shitty attitude. I had predicted that, expected it. What I hadn’t expected was to be pretty much cornered in my locker before training by our team captain, Sam Kerr.

As one of the youngest on the team it was safe to say that I was pretty much terrified of our skipper. Not that Sam was a scary person, she was lovely, considerate to a fault. But she was terrifying in a sense that we all knew heading into the world cup she had one ambition and that was to win at home, at all costs. That’s a little bit intimidating, especially when you know that she is prepared to hand you your ass on a silver platter if you do absolutely anything to jeopardise that ambition.

I’d been sitting in my cubby, lacing my cleats up. Both of my airpods in, hoodie on, tracksuit on, puffer jacket hood on. If I didn’t scream unapproachable I don’t know what did. I’d been sitting there a little bit too long I think, staring at my shoe lace for a little bit long, long enough for someone to point me out to Sam. I’d gotten the fright of my life when Sam’s hand had very gently connected with my shoulder. I’d flinched back almost immediately, before turning around and realising where the contact had come from. Sam looked a little bit offended by my sudden reaction to her touch, but the concern left her facial expression fairly quickly.

“Are you okay kid?”

I hated that question. Three words that drove me insane. I don’t think anyone ever answered that question honestly, because it was so blunt. How were you supposed to honestly answer a person you didn’t trust with the answer to the question.

I pulled my airpods out of my ears purely out of respect, even though I could hear Sam perfectly clear.

“Fine, Cap.”

I thought my words would have been enough of an indicator that I didn’t want to talk to her but she’d taken it as an invitation instead to sit down on the bench beside me.

“You don’t look fine.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, hard enough to draw blood, and focused on completing the task of lacing up my cleats.

“Well I am.”

My answers were short and snappy, closed off. They didn’t leave room for imagination or interpretation. I was a blunt person, I spoke bluntly, I reacted to things bluntly. I’d always been that way and I was pretty sure I’d never change.

“Do you want to talk about it? Because I’m here for you.”

I gulped and finished tying up my first cleat, moving on to pulling the second one over my sock covered left foot. I always put the left one on first, it had become routine for me, that was how I’d tied them before I’d won my first game and I’d stuck with it, it was a superstition that I’d never been able to break and I didn’t see why I should break it now.

“I don’t have anything I need to talk to you about.”

My voice was betraying me, my voice and my eyes. I knew Sam would pick up on my aversion to looking at her in the eyes. I could blame it on focusing on tying up my shoes but she was also sitting directly above them and every time I lifted my eyes I just happened to focus on the wall behind her instead.

“Doesn’t seem that way, Ellie told me that she’s heard you crying in your ensuite at night, she says you don’t sleep very much, which I think your under eyes are enough supporting evidence.”

I let my eyes drift over to Ellie, she was standing on the complete opposite side of the locker rooms, talking anxiously to Kyra and Hailey. As soon as she looked up and met my eyes I could tell that Sam’s approach to me had been driven by her, the anxious look in her eyes was enough of a giveaway.

“Ellie doesn’t know what she’s talking about, the girl talks in her sleep most of the time or she’s on the phone to her girlfriend, I don’t think she’d be able to recall my night time activities.”

I focused back in on my cleats, knotting them furiously with my hands that I had now realised were shaking.

“She seemed to have a pretty good idea, we’ve all seen you’ve been checked out recently. I get if you don’t want to talk about it now around the girls. You seem to be having a bad day. So how about you get yourself through training and then you and I have a chat in private?”

It was phrased as a question but nothing about how she’d said the words came out as a proposition, it was an order. I would have tried to object but I knew it would be useless, Sam had made her mind up and once Sam had made up her mind there was no changing it.

“Sounds good skipper.”

My voice was nothing but dripping with sarcasm, it was my only way of pushing out my very clear distaste with the idea of having to talk to Sam after training. As soon as Sam stood up and I’d checked that both of my cleats were on properly I marched right over to Ellie, pulling her away from the conversation she was in and back over to my locker.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but telling on me to cap isn’t going to get you fucking brownie points with me, we aren’t friends Ellie, we’re not sleepover buddies. I am working tooth and nail here to be fucking respected and I just got a proper emotional dressing down from Kerr that was pretty much just her telling me that I needed to get my act together. If that doesn’t scream out not fucking respected than I don’t know what does.”

I watched all of the colour drain from Ellie’s face as she slowly became far more uncomfortable in the conversation. She wasn’t backing down though.

“I don’t know what fucking planet you are on y/n/n but we are just looking out for you. I hear you at night in the bathroom, sobbing and balling your eyes out. That doesn’t scream out okay to me. Sam wasn’t giving you a dressing down she was asking you if you were fucking okay, something that we’ve all wanted to do for a few weeks now, we were just all scared to because we thought you were going to rip our heads off, like you are doing to me right now. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about you right now because how you’ve been behaving as of late isn’t fucking normal and anybody in there right mind would be worried about you.”

Ellie and I’s argument had escalated enough that I could tell most of the locker room's attention had fallen to our heated conversation, neither of us were ready to back down though and that much was evident in how strong both of our glares at each other held.

“Fuck you, you aren’t the person who gets to decide whether or not I’m okay or not. So what if I’ve been keeping to myself? Maybe I needed some down time away from this fucking extroverted team that never gives me a fucking break.”

It was a personal dig, one that I had said far too loudly in a crowded room of girls that I actually really loved, it had been like word vomit though, getting thrown out in me and Ellie’s fight.

“That’s not fair and you know it, all anybody here has done is be nice to you and you’ve been a fucking dick to everyone for the last few weeks, it’s not normal. You were so happy at training camp but ever since we’ve gotten here you’ve lost your shit and it’s fucking pathetic because we are your team and family and you should trust us more than anybody else but you don’t you don’t give two shits about anybody here besides yourself and we can all see it. It’s embarrassing having your represent us in your current condition. Your a wreck. You didn’t deserve to be brought up from the under 20’s. Maybe if you spent less time in our bathroom at nighttime crying about how hard your sorry ass life was you’d realise there are people and things on earth that are more fucking important than you are.”

Ellie’s words had taken the air out of my lungs, it wasn’t what I’d expected and even her facial expression reflected that she was a little bit taken aback by her own words. They were personal, really personal. I blinked a few times, trying to get a footing in the conversation but I couldn’t, because what was I supposed to say to a person accusing me of being a selfish heartless team mate? Me and Ellie stood stock still, just staring at each other, both of us obviously waiting for the other to keep talking but neither of us could.

“Ellie Madison Carpenter, out on the field, right now.”

Steph’s voice echoed against the walls of the changerooms, everyone else was standing completely silent and still in the room. I looked around the locker rooms, aware that literally everyone besides Sam who had left the locker rooms after her talk to me had just heard Ellie’s speech. I was too shocked to do anything besides plaster my hand against my mouth and run directly into the bathroom that connected to the change rooms. I did my best to not let any tears fall until I’d locked the disabled bathroom door behind me and I’d slid down onto the floor. Was that actually what the team thought of me? That I was a selfish, useless, coldhearted bitch who was just here for herself? Ellie’s words had hurt my heart and soul, because I didn’t play for myself, I hadn’t ever.

I consciously could hear the frantic knocking on the bathroom door but my subconscious was doing its best to tune it out.

“Y/n, open the door, please.”

“Fucking Ellie, that kid has no fucking filter.”

“How are we supposed to explain to Cap that she locked herself in the bathroom?”

“Fuck we were supposed to be on the field five minutes ago, Tony is going to have a field day giving us fucking suicide sprints.”

Those were a few of the sentences that I made out through the door. They were enough to tell me that I needed to get my shit together, because one thing I couldn’t handle on top of the team thinking I was all of those things was the team thinking I was the fucking emotional mess that everyone seemed to think I was. So after letting whatever tears I had left fall, I flushed the toilet, in an attempt to try and disguise the sound of me furiously washing the redness off of my face then I walked towards the door, took a deep breath and unlocked it. Hailey and Macka were both waiting outside and were very clearly surprised by my exit from the bathroom.

“Alanna, don’t worry about getting skip, she’s out.”

I bit the inside of my mouth again, satisfied with the irony taste of my own blood filling my mouth.

“Sorry, just feeling a little bit sick.”

It was very clear none of them believed my excuse. I tried to push past them though, trying my hardest to avoid whatever awkward confrontation that I was apparently bound to, because both Ras and Mackenzie stopped me before I could take a step.

“Y/n. What Ellie said wasn’t true and it’s okay for you to feel emotions about that, she let the heat of the moment get to her.”

I gulped, swallowing the mixture of blood and sweat that was resonating in my mouth.

“I told you, I feel sick. I don’t give a shit what Ellie has to say, she’s very welcome to her own opinions, this is a free country, she has an issue I’d rather her say it to my face.”

My words were faulty, untrustworthy, like ice that was slowly cracking.

“You are allowed to be upset at her for saying that about you, it was mean and she was trying to get to you. It’s okay for you to have emotions about that.”

I pursed my lips, I hated confrontation. Confrontation was terrifying.

“I told you I just felt sick, I still do. I need to go talk to Tony, can I leave or am I being held hostage until I talk about emotions that I don’t have or feel right now?”

Hayley and Mackenzie both looked between each other, trying to think up another plan of attack but clearly not finding anything telepathically between themselves.

“You are free to go, we’re here for you if you need to talk.”

I rolled my eyes at the two of them.

“Thanks, I’ll keep a mental note next time I need a therapist to talk about my nonexistent selfish feelings with.”

The sarcasm rolled off of my tongue too easily as I walked out of the locker rooms and into the tunnel, slowly making my way out onto the field. It was night training, so the ground was cold and the bright white fluorescent lights were blaring down across the pitch. I looked out across the ground, the girls had already started running whatever drills they’d been instructed to start with which led me to ask myself the question of how long had I actually locked myself in that bathroom for?

I made my way straight over to Tony who was looking at me in that way he tended to when he was thinking about something.

“Ms y/l/n.”

He smiled at me, a little bit too kindly for my liking.

“Coach, I’m feeling a bit sick, I think I might have eaten something funny this morning, probably that granola that looked like it had been sitting out for a little bit to long, I think I should probably just rest for tonight, unless you want a granola vomit mess to deal with.”

Tony’s eyes studied me, my body language, silently assessing my every move.

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with what happened between you and Ms Carpenter?”

Fuck, that was me exposed. I looked down to my cleats, by default, because I couldn’t look into his eyes knowing that he knew I was lying straight to his face.

“She approached me, told me that she’d said some things to a teammate before coming out for warm ups that she was sorry for, that I should sit her out for a game because of it. Wouldn’t tell me who she’d spoken to, which made me think it must have been pretty serious.”

I gulped anxiously, fuck. Fuck Ellie for making this whole night a flaming hot pile of shit.

“It wasn’t anything bad, I feel sick, it’s got nothing to do with Ellie, I’m a big girl, I can handle my own problems, she shouldn’t sit out for a week, we need her.”

I let my eyes cross the field, to where Ellie was, her whole complexion had paled dramatically and she looked like she’d just been on a really high rollercoaster.

“We also need to look out for the safety of our players. I'm going to ask you this once and I want you to tell me the complete truth. Did Ellie personally attack you in the change rooms before training tonight? Don’t lie to me, I’ll ask one of your team mates if you do and I don’t want to hear that their answers were any different to yours.”

I bit down hard on my mouth tissue, there was a part of me that wanted to lie for Ellie, even though it would probably land us in more trouble, there was also a part of me that wanted to hand her in, even though in my eyes she hadn’t really done anything wrong, she’d said her peace.

“We were both giving it to each other, she gave as much as she got. I deserve to sit out a week just as much as she does if we’re referencing words said to each other, we were both rude, we got stuck up in the heat of the moment. I promise you, with every bone in my body that it won’t ever happen again, I swear to you.”

One thing that my brother told me when we were growing up was how to effectively lie. There was an art to the practice of lying. The first rule was body language, everyone had a tell, it was about identifying yours and then figuring out how to stop it or disguise it. For example, my youngest brother would always tap his left foot when he was lying. Rule number two is eye contact. You need to make some, but not so much that it’s creepy. People can tell when you refuse to make eye contact with them, so you need to occasionally. Third is your voice, it needs to be steady, your pitch and tone need to be consistent, one of the easiest tells is a raised voice when you lie. The fourth rule is physical change, this one is probably the hardest, because there isn’t anything you can do to stop yourself if you get clammy hands when you are lying, you just have to disguise it. The fifth and final rule is words, you need to use enough that your sentences are coherent but don’t over-sell yourself, summarise what needs to be said, instead of reading off a whole backstory.

I’d broken number five and two whilst talking to Tony and I could tell that he was picking up on it. He looked between me and the field before calling over one of my teammates.

“Mary, can I have you for a second.”

I gulped down the lump that was forming in the back of my throat when Fowler finished off the drill she was doing and ran over to the sideline to stand beside the coach and I.

“What can I do for you, coach?”

He smiled at her, I’d very quickly noticed that Mary was one of his favourites, rightfully so. She was a hard worker but she was also kind, Matilda’s captain material for the future.

“Can you give me a run down of what happened in the lockers before training between Ellie and y/n, from my understanding there was a small altercation, but both of them aren’t telling me the whole story and I don’t have time for beating around the bush.”

I looked at Mary, silently praying for her to downplay it, maybe she hadn’t heard much of it. She was the one to pick if you wanted an honest answer, she couldn’t lie for the life of her, I knew that much. She bit her lip subtly, thinking thoroughly before she said anything.

“None of us heard how it started, we all knew that y/n/n was the one to drag Ellie over to her locker after Cap spoke to her. They were arguing, it seemed harmless. Until Ellie was yelling in y/n/n’s face.”

Tony nodded at her inquisitively, clearly very invested in what she had to say.

“Did you hear what Ms Carpenter was saying to Ms y/l/n?”

I gulped, shaking my head as subtly as I could at Mary, this whole encounter was a headache.

“Look, it’s not really something I’m comfortable with repeating.”

I knew Mary was trying to be helpful but I also knew that statement was going to backfire on her because it made the whole situation sound a lot worse than it was.

“Mary, if you don’t tell me I will get someone else too, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

Mary herself gulped anxiously, her eyes frantically darting between Tony and myself. I nodded at her, clearly seeing her distress and just giving her the permission to say her peace, because apparently it was going to get said anyways.

“She was yelling at y/n/n about how y/n/n was selfish and didn’t give a shit about anybody beside herself. I heard her using something about y/n crying in their bathroom at night against her, saying that she was too worried or self obsessed to care about anyone else on the team. I wasn’t close enough though to tell you exactly what either of them said. I was on the other side of the room, Steph was the closest, if you want information I’d be asking her, not me.”

I could feel my hands shaking in my pockets, this whole situation was giving me anxiety.

“Okay then, thank you, can you go fetch Steph for me, just tell her to come over here.”

Mary nodded at coach, before sending me a silent sorry smile before running back out onto the pitch.

Coach pointed to the bench that was on the sidelines a few feet behind us, silently motioning for me to follow him and take a seat down on it.

“Based on what I’ve just been told, I think that Ellie should sit out for a week, her behaviour towards you was unacceptable and she needs to understand there are repercussions for those kinds of situations. Y/n I know that you’ve struggled to find your footing in the team, I’ve seen you struggling with your mental health. I’m here for you if you ever need to talk about it or if you need help. If those struggles mean that you need to separate yourself from the team then that is what you do, regardless of the decisions you make you are a valued member on this team and you don’t deserve to be verbally assaulted because Ellie has a problem with you.”

I pursed my lips, I didn’t think I’d been verbally assaulted, if anything I’d started it.

“Coach, I started it with Ellie. She didn’t even mean what she said, we need her this week, it’s an important game that we can’t afford to have her miss. I don’t want to be the reason we lose this week just because me and Ellie had a minor altercation, it was nothing.”

I couldn’t ignore the deep frown on his face, it was a mixture of concern and disappointment and it went straight to my heart.

“Coach? Mary said you need to speak to me?”

Both of our heads snapped up at the sudden sound of Steph’s voice. She was standing about a foot away from us, her brow furrowed in my direction.

“Steph, yes, I’m just having some trouble understanding the altercation that went down before warm ups with Ms Carpenter and Ms y/l/n. Ms y/l/n is trying to take the whole blame for it and I don’t really believe the whole story that she’s giving me, so if you could please give me some insight it would be much appreciated, as I am taking this very seriously.”

Steph’s eyes went straight to mine, she was my fellow Arsenal team mate, probably the only person on our Matilda’s squad who I could actually call my friend. She was frowning at me deeply, trying to study my facial expression.

“Y/l/n started it, she pulled Ellie up after having a chat with skipper, but from what I heard she was more just annoyed that Ellie had told skipper about some of her more concerning habits. Ellie was mad about being pulled up on it, typical Ellie fashion she took it to heart and she made it personal. I do recall her calling saying something along the lines of if y/n spent less time in their bathroom at nighttime crying about how ‘hard’ her sorry ass life was then she’d realise there were people and things on earth that are more fucking important than you she was, Ellie also made a lot of comments about y/n/n being a selfish person who didn’t give a shit about any of the people around her. Y/n/n might have technically started it but in her defence she didn’t say anything personal or wrong to Ellie, she was just voicing her annoyance about Ellie telling on her to Sam, Ellie was trying to voice her concerns over Y/n/n but it came out wrong and she was trying to make light of a situation that was not hers to talk about in a public space, it was unprofessional and distasteful behaviour from both of them but Ellie was the one who escalated it and made it worse. All y/n really did was tell Ellie to leave her alone and stop pushing, when Ellie did push too far y/n rushed to the bathroom and locked herself in there. Ellie’s behaviour was unacceptable to say the least and I’ve told her, I’m sure Sam will as well once I talk to her about it. I’ve told Ellie she has to apologise to y/n/n and that kind of behaviour won’t be tolerated towards anybody let alone her own teammate.”

Steph’s rundown of the situation was more factual and foolproof then any of the other versions Gustavsson had received and I knew that he was going to believe everything she’d told him.

“Okay, thank you, I really appreciate your transparency on the situation. I made the right call making you interim captain whilst Sam was out. That’s all I should need for now, feel free to go back to what you were doing, I’ll be out there in a minute.”

Once Steph was out of earshot Tony turned to me, clearly a little bit taken aback by all of the information he’d just absorbed.

“You are going to sit out tonight, call it sickness or whatever you please. I want you to stay and watch though, you should be here and you deserve to be here. I’m going to talk to Ellie after training, and just because you don’t seem to want her sitting out I’ll see how remorseful she is and make my roster decision for this weekend based off of that. I know she’s your teammate and you feel like you are taking one for the team by enabling her behaviour towards you and maybe it was a one off, just a heat in the moment thing as you called it. Maybe it wasn’t though, I’m not going to take chances. I want you to think about your own actions as well, think about how you could have dealt with that situation more effectively. Once training’s over you are going to head back to the hotel with the girls and you are going to spend time with them, proper bonding time.”

I nodded at coach, I didn’t have it in me to argue with him.

“Coach, I’m rooming with her.”

It was my main concern, not that Ellie scared me, I’d pretty much ignored her the whole tournament, not that she spent a lot of time in our room anyways, she spent all of her free time until curfew in other teammates rooms.

“Talk to Kerr about it, get her to switch them around, I’m sure it’s not that difficult. Switch rooms, relax for the night, get some sleep, be back here tomorrow. I don’t care whether or not you feel up to training, just be here. This team is your family and whether or not it feels like it they care a lot about you, they are here to support you if you let them. Sometimes you just need to take the leap of faith.”

I nodded at coach. He was a gentle soul, a good one. He reached over to me, offering me a hug and I took it, letting him wrap his arms around my shoulders. It was nice, it didn’t last long but it felt nice. Once he was done giving me a hug he stood up and followed Steph out onto the field.

I found myself gravitating to a spot directly on the sideline, where our team manager was stationed. She didn’t ask any questions as I sat down on the frosty grass beside her station, I was grateful for that much. I hadn’t talked to her much but she seemed lovely and in the very little interactions I had had with her she had gone above and beyond to make me comfortable in whatever we were doing.

I spent my training, sitting on the grass, watching the team as they ran through a few drills and plays before moving into a full scrimmage. I kept my body tucked in, my knees to my chest, my puffer jacket and hoodie wrapped tightly around my legs and torso to pull my knees even further into my chest. It was a blessing that they’d designed waterproof sweatpants, because I would have probably had a cold and wet ass if they hadn’t. Somewhere along the way our team manager offered me a packet of gummy bears and I couldn’t find it in me to decline her offer, so I snacked on the gelatinous pieces of sugar whilst I watched the training slowly come to an end.

They finished with PK’s and then concluded the session. I stayed seated in my little spot, I hoped that no one had spotted me and maybe if I waited for everyone to slip off the field and into the locker rooms I would just be able to hop onto the bus without being detected. My plan pretty much backfired immediately when a certain captain beelined directly towards me, clearly I hadn’t gone unnoticed to her. I grimaced as she got closer to my spot, my spot that my head had deemed as a safe spot from the rest of my teammates.

Sam didn’t even acknowledge me to begin with, instead turning her attention to our team manager, making pretty common conversation with her. She spoke to her for a few minutes, it was afternoon tea talk, just bullshit. Sam’s specialty. Eventually when she finished up she looked down at me, an eyebrow raised. She motioned for me to stand up and follow her, so stupidly, like a puppy, I did. My muscles were cold and I’d be lying if I said that getting up from the ground hadn’t been a little bit harder than I’d predicted. I managed though and caught up to Sam, following after her as she walked back down the tunnel but instead of turning into the locker rooms we kept walking down the corridor until we came to the video review room. It was pretty much just a conference room, one big room with a bunch of tables and chairs that we used to scout and review our own games. Sam closed the blinds to the room, so no bye passers could see in and turned the lights on.

She seated herself at one of the tables, gesturing for me to do the same, so I did. The first thing Sam did was pull out her phone and start typing something or another before looking up at me.

“Steph told me about what happened between you and Ellie.”

I gulped, biting my lip as I tried my hardest to maintain my eye contact with Sam, I wasn’t going to break, not again. I watched as Sam’s finger made its way to her mouth and she bit down on her nail in a questioning kind of way that I couldn’t explain even if I tried.

“I started it, I was pissed off at her for ratting on me to you.”

My honesty would be appreciated, I knew that Sam valued honesty above anything else.

“I don’t really care who started it, I care about togetherness, you know that. This team needs one thing, cohesion. I don’t care who started it, I care about who the problem was and in that situation it was Ellie, she said things that she had no business saying, with the intention of hurting you. That’s enough to tell me that in that situation she was prepared to jeopardise our team just so she could tear down one of our own. I’ve recommended to Tony that she sits out this week. He told me you were apprehensive about it, I wanted to know why.”

There was a simple answer, and a more complex answer, a part of me knew which one Sam wanted.

“Short answer, Ellie is a crucial part of our team, we need her. Long answer, I don’t think she did anything wrong.”

Sam looked up at me, a little bit shocked.

“Look y/n, it’s clear there's been a lot on your mind recently. A lot that you clearly aren’t prepared to share, and that's okay. I saw on the sideline tonight, you looked like you were mentally in a different place, like you were really worried thinking about something and you’ve been like that for a few weeks. I know that you have trust issues, that you are finding it hard to slot into this team because you are scared to be vulnerable. I am here for you, I won’t judge you, I will help you with whatever you need help with, because I can tell there is something and until you do seek out help for it it is only going to destroy you further.”

Sam’s words receded in me, because she was so right that I couldn’t even try to deny it.

“Am I a selfish player and teammate?”

The words felt so raw coming out of my throat, it was something that Ellie had said that had stuck with me.

“No, I can honestly tell you you aren’t. You play football with so much grace and kindness that sometimes it drives me up the wall watching you help up your opponents who have tripped over. You aren’t a selfish person either, you are more reserved, that doesn’t make you selfish, it just makes you self aware, there is a big difference.”

I nodded at Sam, not sure what else there was for me to do. Her words were full of so much wisdom, so much insight. I still couldn’t find it in me to believe them fully though, my self deprecating brain not welcome to accepting any kind of form of praise.

“Look, change is hard. You are young, inexperienced. Staying somewhere that you’ve outgrown though is only going to destroy you. I know this is a big jump, I wouldn’t have reccomended for you to be here though if I didn’t think it was the right fit. You are a world class player, and a genuinely good person. When you smile, it lights up a room. Your laugh is contagious. It’s clear that you’ve never been cared for properly, never let yourself. You have a family now though y/n. You have people that you can go to when you are having a bad day, people that are going to love you no matter what. Use that, take advantage of it. A team doesn’t function without trust.”

There was something about Sams words that told me she actually understood what I was going through, she was dancing on a line of relating to me and giving me advice, the line was a little bit blurred though.

“Do you trust me?”

I let Sam’s words hang in the air for a few seconds, it took me a little while to formulate a reponse.

“I don’t trust anyone, not even myself.”

Sam’s eyes, those brown orbs spoke to me, more than any words ever could to me.

“You don’t think people care for you.”

“Why would people care for me?”

There was so much insecurity behind the words, years of it all built up.

“I care, I’ll always care. Everyone should have somebody to care for them.”

“You have to care, your my captain.”

It was the last bit of defiance leaving my body, the last of my barriers being used.

“Partly, yes. It’s sort of my job. But I save it for the ones who need it and you seem to be in need.”

I rolled my eyes, another defence mechanism that I used to deflect, to avoid my emotions.

“I don’t need help.”

“Maybe not, but when you’re born in a burning house you think the whole world is on fire until someone shows you it isn’t.”

I didn’t fully understand her cryptic but I got the general idea.

“You implying I was born in a burning house?”

Sam’s head tilted, like she wasn’t denying my statement but also didn’t agree with it fully.

“I’m implying that you are here for a reason. That we are all here for different reasons, different driving factors. The difference between you and some of the other girls is that you are letting your past define you, when it doesn’t. The best part of being here is that when you are out on the pitch nobody cares about anything else, nobody could care less about what’s happened in your personal life. Use that, use that to be happy, to find your motivation. Trust me? Let me show you that this team isn’t just a group of girls, it can be your family if you want it to be.”

I looked at Sam flatly trying to figure out how serious she was, when he face didn’t falter I realised how serious she was and that scared me a little bit. I didn’t know if I was ready for that, ready for a family, ready to feel loved and appreciated. It wasn’t soemthing I’d ever really experienced.

“Y’know that it shouldn’t seem remarkable to you that people who love and care for you actually want to treat you well.”

Those words were the straw that broke my back. I couldn’t help but feel the tears well up in my eyes.

“y/n,” Sam’s voice drew my eyes up to her own “You are allowed to cry.”

I shook my head at her, bringing the sleeve of my jumper up to my eyes to rub at the tears escaping my eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you though?”

It was the amount of questioning behind her face that threw me off, I knew she didn’t believe me but the amount of concern laced into her facial expression hit some place in my heart I didn’t know I had.

“You know that it’s okay to not be fine all the time. You are allowed to have feelings, to feel things other than numb. Look, feeling hurts. Life is pain, life is suffering. Being alive hurts, it’s horror and it sucks. But you are alive and it’s spectacular and brilliant because instead of just living you are alive.”

I continued rubbing at my eyes, trying my best to stop any of the tears running down my face.

“I’ll think about it cap, I think it’s about time for me to head back to the hotel.”

Before I could get up and completely leave the room Sam got in her final words.

“There are poeple around that would miss you y/n/n, people who would be gutted if anything ever happened to you. Just think about that.”

#woso #marry me rn #sam kerr #woso community #sam kerr x reader #matildas #matildas x reader #angst #little bit of fluff #auswnt #ellie carpenter #tony gustavsson #steph catley #wrote this instead of sleeping #all nighter #i’m crying #i’m so tired

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2chopsticks2eyes · 2 years ago

Text

The Feeling is Mutual

2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist

Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Han Jisung/Han x Fem Reader

Themes: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: ~11.5k | AO3

Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Cussing, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Alternate Universe - College/University, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex

Summary: Reader is lifelong friends with Minho and Jisung and doesn't realize exactly to what extent they all love each other.

Author's Note: I am shamelessly obsessed with Minsung. Will probably add more in the future. I originally was only on AO3, but I wanted to link platforms with Tumblr and Twitter too. Hope you enjoy!

__________________________________________

“Say that to my face, you weasel.” You squared your shoulders up to the slightly shorter brunette boy that rolled his eyes at you with a huff.

“I was telling the little squirrel boy back there–” he glanced around your shoulder to the small, meek looking Han Jisung that hid behind your taller frame. “That his girlfriend looks like a lumberjack.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Min–!” The small ravenette didn’t even finish his sentence before Minho was flat on the ground with blood gushing from his nose, your fist trembling from the powerful blow it landed.

“Tell me, Minho. How does it feel getting punched by a lumberjack?” It’s true that you were taller and more… developed than the other kids in your fifth grade class, but being best friends with Jisung, the smallest and skinniest boy in class, didn’t exactly help your image. You didn’t care though, you had gotten used to it. However, you had absolutely NO tolerance for when Lee Minho - the little shit that constantly crowded yours and Jisung’s space - would make fun of Jisung for being around you.

Minho wiped his still bleeding nose with his shirt sleeve and shucked off his backpack, not caring for a single moment that the school bus was about to arrive to take the three of you and the other students home. You smirked at his infuriated face and he suddenly jumped on you, the two of you rolling on the asphalt, slapping, tearing clothes, and pulling hair. The teachers were quickly on the scene like lightning and pulled the two of you apart.

“She started it!”

“Did not!” You glanced at Jisung and he was just frozen in place with terrified doe eyes. You didn’t want to drag him into this so you returned your gaze to the disheveled looking brunette that was glaring right back at you.

“I don’t care who started it! You two bicker all of the time and I’m sick of it! Apologize to each other this instant!” The both of you crossed your arms and looked away from each other. At that moment the bus pulled up and the loads of waiting kids started filing in. You started to step towards Jisung to get on with him, but you were pulled back by the backpack. “Nuh-uh. No one is leaving until you two apologize.” You glanced over to the bus and saw the bus driver standing in the doorway impatiently as the other kids peered out the windows at you two.

You groaned loudly and glared at Minho. “FINE. I’m sorry I punched your stupid, weasel face.” You uncrossed your arms and grabbed onto the straps of your backpack, eager to leave already.

He scoffed at you. “And I’M sorry for telling Jisung his girlfriend is a GIANT lumberjack.” You could feel rage build up in you but you just clutched your straps tighter.

Mrs. Choi let out a long sigh and rubbed her temples. “Okay, fine. If that’s how it’s going to be…” The teacher stepped up to the bus driver and announced loudly. “THESE TWO–” she pointed at the two of you, Jisung still curled in on himself off to the side. “Are to sit at the FRONT of the bus as seatmates for the rest of the semester.”

Both of your eyes popped out of your heads and you glanced at each other incredulously. “W-wait! But Mrs. Choi!”

“No buts. Now get on the bus ASAP.” She stood to the side as the bus driver resumed his post behind the wheel. You grabbed Jisung’s hand and the three of you reluctantly climbed in. The seats in the front were obviously open, none of the kids wanted to be monitored so closely by the driver, and you and Minho begrudgingly sat on one side of the aisle as Jisung sat on the other side, gazing at you with disconcertment.

To no one’s surprise, the two of you bickered CONSTANTLY during the whole semester and couldn’t have a single bus ride in peace. Jisung always sat on the other side of the aisle and tried to be a mediator because, for some reason, Minho wasn’t nearly as douchey to the young raven haired boy. Even when you tried to ignore each other, you would always end up bickering about something .

On the days where the two of you had a moment of silence, Jisung would try to make friendly conversation with the little asshat and, surprisingly, Minho would be civil. When Jisung came over to your house after school, you would rant and ask him what he was thinking by trying to talk to him.

“I dunno, he might not be as bad as you think.” He muffled as his cheeks were full of the banana bread he was munching on. “Maybe we should invite him to sit at lunch with us. If you’re going to be forced to sit with him anyway, might as well try to get on his good side.”

“I HIGHLY doubt that kid even has a good side.” You rolled your eyes and huffed.

“Please, Y/N? Can we please try?” Once he gave you those puppy dog eyes, you knew you were screwed.

Minho was suspicious at first, but eventually, he started sitting with the two of you during lunch. Well… he sat with Jisung while you ignored him completely, but you were determined to try for Jisung’s sake.

It started with basic small talk questions that most fifth graders would ask. Do you have siblings? What’s your favorite class? Does Mr. Kim’s nose hair also distract you when he talks? You know, the basics. After that, it was easy to talk to him. Of course you still bickered, but now it was more of a game than anything, falling right in with his lame humor and teasing. Once the semester ended, you didn’t even stop sitting together. Of course the three of you would rotate who sat next to each other, but the odd one out was never seated far from the other two.

The rest was history. The three of you were inseparable from then on. Even when you graduated, you all went to the same college, worked the same jobs, and even rented an apartment for you all to live in. Everything seemed to fall into place and you were never happier. Everything was perfect.

- - - - - - - - - -

You heard a low whistle from the living room when you stepped out of your room. “Goddamn girl, who are you out to slay tonight?” You chuckled at Jisung’s reaction from the couch where he was ogling you. You do admit, you were hoping to get laid that night. You and some of your gal pals were going out clubbing and you were determined to be whisked away to get your brains fucked out. The upcoming finals were stressing you beyond belief and it had been WAY too long since you’d been dicked down. A nice dose of endorphins were definitely due.

You had hit puberty early - hence the ‘lumberjack’ status you previously had donned - so you grew into your ‘feminine assets’ much earlier than most. So you were basically a full woman by high school, making you a force to be reckoned with as a true adult. The boys had eventually caught up to you in the puberty department and you weren’t gonna lie, they were blessed beyond words to transform from what they looked like during their rough years of zits and cracking voices to the absolutely drop dead gorgeous men they were now.

You had slipped on a form fitting black dress that hugged your slim waist and curvy hips and had curled your hair in loose waves. You had dusted a smokey look to your eye makeup and had on your favorite peaches and cream flavored lip gloss. “Hopefully someone who actually knows how to make a girl cum.”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath, kitten. Most men don’t even believe in female orgasms.” Minho said as he stepped out of the kitchen with an iced bourbon and coke.

You scoffed at the nickname he donned you with at the beginning of high school when you dressed up as a cat for Halloween. “Oh yeah? Like you?” You smirked as you snatched the glass from his hand and took a large gulp.

He grabbed your wrist and took it back. “Um excuse YOU. I have made many girls cum, thank you very much. And I don’t just stop at one either.” You scoffed and turned to put on your black strappy heels. Although you used to be taller than the both of them in grade school, they surpassed you in height LONG ago and even in heels you weren’t eye level with either of them.

“Tsk. Please. It’s been ages since I’ve seen either one of you even attempt to get your dicks wet. Even more surprising for you, Min. Aren’t you supposed to be a revolving door for idiotic twats? Don’t tell me you’ve gone celebate.” You almost even looked concerned with the disbelief in your voice.

He must have had some really strong bourbon in that drink because you could’ve swore you saw a light pink dust over his cheeks before he resumed his cocky demeanor. “Trust me, the day I go celebate will be the day of my funeral. Just tired of having to turn them away because of their ‘feelings’.” He used air quotes and cringed, proceeding to plop down on the couch next to Jisung. The latter propped his legs up on the brunette’s lap and looked at you with a small smile and a tilt to his head.

“Please don’t drink too much, baby girl. Oh and let us know when you get there. And when you leave. And make sure the guy you leave with is clean. Oh! And–”

“Alright, alright, MOM. I get it. Relax, Ji. It’s not like this is my first time going out without you asswipes.”

“Tsk. She’ll be fine, Sungie.” Minho rubbed Jisung’s thigh and turned to look at you. “But seriously, try not to be stupid for one night, yeah?” You poked your tongue out at him and he returned the gesture, making you chuckle and head towards the door.

“Love you dorks! Don’t wait for up me!”

“Wasn’t planning on it!” You heard Minho say as the door closed behind you.

- - - - - - - - - -

“What a goddamned asshat… twinkle dick… son of a whore in the springtime looking motherfu–.” You mumbled to yourself in the cab on the way back to your apartment when the driver gave you a weird look. You instantly shut up and continued your fuming internally. You continued your self monologue when you stumbled out of the cab.

You were several drinks in and had mascara running down your face, thanks to your ‘company’ you had acquired that night. He had pulled you into the back alley and tried to fuck you up against the wall next to the filthy dumpster and when you suggested you take it to his place instead, he got pissed and said he would ‘go find a different cumdump’ and that you were an ugly bitch anyway.

You knew that it wasn’t true, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt your ego. You could only hope that the boys were still awake and would cheer you up with a plethora of ice cream and movies. In case they were asleep, you entered the apartment quietly, lightly placing your heels in the corridor and tiptoeing through the living room to get to your room.

However, what you weren’t planning on doing was freezing in your tracks when you rounded the corner to see two figures writhing on the couch. You couldn’t believe your eyes and you couldn’t find your voice. Minho was on top of Jisung, devouring his lips like a starved man as he railed him up the ass into the couch cushions. A million thoughts ran through your mind and you couldn’t make sense of any of them. But the first and foremost thought was ‘how could my two best friends keep this from me?’.

You involuntarily let out a small whimper and two pairs of eyes shot up to meet yours. Your inebriated mind couldn’t stop the tears from flooding at that moment and the rushed figures of both of the men separating and hastily covering themselves were blurry in your sight.

“Y/N!” You could vaguely hear the two of them say in unison past the ringing in your ears. All you could think to do was to turn tail and run, so you did. You yanked on your sneakers and ran out of the building, not knowing where you were going, just knowing it wasn’t safe for your sanity to try to unpack what you just saw. You silenced your phone that was blowing up with calls and texts and stumbled your way down the road.

You weren’t exactly a rational person when you were in distress and this situation wasn’t any different. You ran to a nearby twenty four hour convenience store and bought a whole case of beer and sat on the small patio outside, downing one bottle after the other in an attempt to forget the whole night. Why didn’t they say anything? How did you not notice? Will this change our whole friendship?

You were a little over halfway through the case and you could very faintly see the sky start to lighten. Your head was impossibly heavy and you watched the flickering street lamps as you laid your head down on your folded arms. Just as your eyelids started fluttering shut, you could see two figures running towards you in the distance. You couldn’t explain it as you started to lose consciousness, but your heart suddenly felt… warm.

- - - - - - - - - -

“I feel like such an idiot.”

“This isn’t your fault, Sungie.”

“We should have told her! That or…”

“Or what, Sung? Do you wish we never did this in the first place? Just kept it to ourselves and acted like nothing was going on?”

“Dammit, you know that’s not what I mean, Minnie…”

“I know you love her… I love her just as much… but I love you too, Sungie. She might be pissed, but I know she wants us to be happy. It might take her a while, but I know everything will be okay.”

“Okay…”

You started to rouse back to the land of the living as you heard hushed whispers around you. You felt the softness and familiarity of your bed sheets surrounding you as you stretched out your creaking bones. You felt an overwhelming feeling of nausea and a throbbing pain course through your head, making you wince as you opened your eyes to the light filtering through your window.

Your two best friends were at your sides in an instant, Jisung holding a couple of aspirin and Minho holding a glass of water. They looked like they hadn’t gotten an ounce of sleep and you immediately felt guilty for your reaction the previous night. You silently accepted their offerings and downed the pills and the whole glass of water.

The room was silent as you looked down at your empty glass, watching the remaining rivulets of water drip down to the base of the glass. With everything that was running through your head, you decided that only one thing really mattered. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked the pair in a meek voice without looking up. Jisung took your right hand into both of his own and brought it to his lips.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl. So so so sorry.” You looked up at him when you heard his trembling voice and found tears streaming down his full cheeks. “I wanted to, I really did! God, I’m such a fucking coward… I was so afraid… I was so afraid you would hate me…”

“Han Jisung.” You said with a stern voice as you brought your hand up to his face to wipe away a tear. “There is nothing, absolutely nothing, you could do to make me hate you.” His lip trembled as he buried his face in your shoulder and you felt Minho link his fingers into your other hand.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, kitten. Truly. We never wanted to hurt you.” He also placed a kiss on your knuckles and your heart fluttered. Your love for these boys was unconditional and their happiness was your happiness.

“We all had an agreement to not keep anything from each other, no matter what. And with this… I guess I felt like I was being excluded. I guess I just wasn’t ready to lose you two just yet…”

Jisung whipped his head up from your shoulder. “W-what do you mean lose us?!” They both wore perplexed and concerned expressions.

“Well… I-I assumed… I mean surely you two would prefer to live together without having me around to–”

“Shut your fucking mouth right this instant.” You looked flabbergasted at Minho’s blatant outburst. “The only way that is happening is if you don’t want to be around. Neither one of us even considered for a single second of leaving you. Don’t be ridiculous, bonehead.”

Jisung shoved the older boy. “What Minho is meaning to say is–” he glared lightly at the brunette. “Is that the three of us are one. None of us would be complete without another. All we wish is that this won’t be weird to the point where…” You saw his lip quiver a little. “...where you won’t want to be around us anymore…”

You pulled the ravenette in for a tight hug and ran your fingers through his hair. “You silly boy…” You whispered as you felt Minho run his hand up and down your back. “There is nowhere I would rather be than right here with you two… I’m really happy for you two. I’m happy that you guys are happy.”

You were startled out of your skin when Minho decided to tackle the two of you back onto the bed and squeeze the life out of you. “Where’s Minho and what have you done with him?” You squeaked out as best you could under his crushing form.

“What? Am I undeserving of some love too?” He morphed his face into one of the cutest displays of pouts that you’d ever seen and you belted out an airy laugh. You pulled them both close and left crushing kisses to each of their cheeks. You were surprised that they both returned kisses to each of your cheeks as well, squishing your face between their lips and making you break out into a fit of giggles.

Once you broke free, you gazed at them in awe. They were both hovering over you with huge smiles on their faces and they looked at you as if you had hung the moon. Your heart swelled for them however, you couldn’t help but notice the slight pang of jealousy you felt. You wished you could find someone to love you like that as well.

- - - - - - - - - -

Things were surprisingly normal after that. Too normal. The three of you did almost everything together like usual and they never made you feel like the odd man out. It was almost concerning how nothing really changed. It even seemed like they were more lovey-dovey with you than they were even with each other (and that means a lot coming from Minho).

It was a normal Saturday afternoon and you were getting ready for an actual date this time. You had wrangled the two into your bedroom so they could give you input on what to wear and Minho was not having it.

“Why the fuck should you try to make yourself look good for some asshat that is only trying to bone you?” Minho groaned as he leaned back on his hands from where he was perched at the edge of your bed and Jisung laid on his stomach next to him.

“He’s not an asshat, Min. It’s Hyunjin from trig, you know he’s a sweetheart!”

“That’s even worse! Any guy that looks like that would have so many notches on his bedpost that even one tiny thrust will send it to the dump!”

You rolled your eyes and turned back to your closet to pull out the next option. “Why are you so desperate to date anyway? You already have us!” You turned back to Jisung with an unamused face just to be met with a smug look in return. You pulled out a dark blue a-line dress with a deep v-neck that cinched down to your waist and held it up to yourself in the mirror.

“Because maybe I actually want to get laid. And maybe I am tired of being the only single one in this house.” You smiled to yourself in the mirror, expecting to hear some form of a retort from one of the boys behind you. When all you heard was silence, you turned to them with a quizzical look. “What?” You questioned Jisung’s shy fiddling and Minho’s intense glare.

“Are we not trying hard enough for you already?” Minho snapped, making you freeze in shock.

“Min-“

“No, Sung.” Minho cut Jisung off before he could say anything. “We have tried so goddamned hard to make you feel like nothing has changed. Do you know how hard it is to keep my hands off of my own boyfriend? It sucks. But I’m doing it for YOU. Because we love you. Yet here you are, trying to make us feel bad for leaving you out!”

“Min, I never said—“ You felt anger rise in your throat.

“And that’s another thing—!” He stood to square up to your defensive frame, to which you were much less intimidating when he was the one towering over you now. “You never once said you were feeling left out. We include you in everything. And we’ve never had a problem with it because you are already a part of this relationship! The only difference is the sex! I don’t give two flying fucks if you want to date, just don’t drag me and Sungie’s relationship into your own insecurities!”

Before you could say anything, Minho turned on his heel, leaving you and Jisung and slamming his bedroom door behind him. “What the actual fuck was that?!” You turned towards the ravenette, throwing the dress down on the bed. You sat down next to Jisung and crossed your arms. What a fucking child.

He just gave you a sad smile. “I’m sorry, love. I think he’s just a little on edge…” He looked down at his thumbnail as he picked at it.

“Well can you go fuck it out of him or something? He’s not making any goddamn sense!” He just chuckled at you and stood up, coming over to pull you in for an unexpected hug.

“I’m sorry if we made you feel left out, honey.” He pulled back to look you in the eyes, your shoulders never leaving his grasp. “He meant what he said though… you are just as much a part of our relationship as we are. There is nothing we would exclude you from… nothing.” The glint in his eye gave you shivers and your brain glitched when he leaned in to give you a long, lingering kiss on the cheek. Right on the edge of your lips.

Without another word, he stepped out of the room and left you with a million questions swirling around in your head.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Fuck…” You buried your face in your hands in front of the sink of the club’s restroom you were at with Hyunjin. You looked back up at your flushed face in the mirror and cursed yourself for being so neurotic. Hyunjin had been a perfect gentleman, treating you with care and respectful hands even when you were trying to grind up against him like a thot on the dance floor. There was no reason you shouldn’t be 100% invested in your date. But that motherfucking Minho…

The bastard’s words still got under your skin. It’s not like you had asked them to refrain from acting like boyfriends. You had made it perfectly clear on several accounts that you were happy for their relationship. More than happy really. So why did he go off on you like that? And why did they insist on making it a point that they considered you a part of the relationship? Yeah you three were closer than anything in the world, but surely they didn’t mean they had wanted to include you romantically… right?

You looked down at the same blue dress you had picked out earlier that day and started to fiddle with the hem of it. It really was a sexy dress but… when you put it on, all you really wanted was for the boys to appreciate your look before you went out. Instead, you only received a ‘have fun’ from Jisung and complete silence and a sour attitude from Minho. Hyunjin of course said you looked amazing, but for some reason the compliment didn’t really seem as gratifying coming from his mouth.

You hated to admit it, but you just weren’t satisfied with Hyunjin. He was gorgeous, sweet, funny, and a phenomenal kisser, but everyone seemed to pale in comparison to your two best friends. Of course you couldn’t really judge how they were in bed, but you knew them on legitimately every other level known to man.

That doesn’t mean you haven’t imagined what it would be like to sleep with one of them. I mean, hell, going through horny teenage years and even hornier adulthood brought many thoughts to your head. You had seen them both almost completely naked, they walked around in nothing but their boxers all the time, so you had plenty of content to conjure up different images. Even after they got together you couldn’t help but find the idea of them fucking in the other room kind of hot…

You started to feel warmth pool in the base of your stomach and when you looked back up at your face, you were beet red. Now that those images were brought to the forefront of your mind, that was ALL you could think about. “Well shit…” You already knew this was a failed date. Sure, you could try to go home with Hyunjin and have him fuck your horniness away, but you didn’t want to hurt the poor man, especially after being so sweet to you all night. Also, you would eventually have to head back home and be tormented all over again.

You resigned yourself to cutting your date short by giving the generic ‘I’m not feeling well’ bullshit excuse and you felt horrible when you saw the look on Hyunjin’s face. But you told yourself that it is better to do it now than for him to catch feelings and break it off later. It really was a shame, in another world, he would have been the perfect man.

When you walked up to the door, you could only hope that they weren’t fucking on the couch again. You braced yourself as you rounded the corner to the living room and breathed out a sigh of relief when you saw the two men snuggling on the couch watching a movie. Jisung immediately popped his head up when he saw you walk in.

“Hey! What are you doing home so early, babe?”

Minho snickered. “I was probably right about Hwang.” He said, crossing his arms across his chest. “Probably just wanted a quick fuck.”

“For your information, MeanHoe, he was a perfect gentleman. Not that you would know what that means.” You rolled your eyes and started to head for your bedroom door.

“Then what happened? Bad breath? Poor table manners? Tic-tac dick?” You huffed and turned your back to Minho.

“No, Min. None of that. He was fine.” You hoped they didn’t catch the small hitch in your voice. When your hand landed on the doorknob, you heard Jisung’s small voice.

“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Of course he would notice. You felt a weird emotion spring up in your throat at the endearment and swallowed it back as best as you could.

Well obviously you couldn’t tell them that you kept comparing Hyunjin to them. Minho’s ego would fly through the roof and it would probably make Jisung feel uncomfortable. So you resigned yourself to try and keep brushing off the issue. “It’s nothing, Ji. Goodnight.” You rushed past the threshold to your room to avoid any further discussion and slumped against the closed door.

You surprised yourself when you felt a tear fall from your face and you quickly wiped away the evidence. Why were you crying? You are supposed to be happy for them, not envious of their relationship. However, once one tear fell, the others started breaking free along with it and there was no stopping them. You slumped down on the edge of your bed and held your head in your hands, silently sobbing. You could only hope to ever find someone to love you like they do, but even they couldn’t provide you the kind of love you needed. You felt like you would never find anyone that would be able to compare to them.

You almost wished that you had never– “Y/N?” You heard a faint knock on your door and cursed Jisung for being so caring. You stayed silent in hopes that he would think you were sleeping and turn away, but you should have known that wouldn’t stop Minho.

The door immediately whipped open and Minho stepped into the room with purpose and anger, flicking on the light in his path. The two of them, however, completely froze in the doorway when they saw you were crying. “Oh kitten…” Minho’s face instantly fell when he looked at you and he knelt down in front of you from where you were seated, making even more tears fall. “I’m so sorry, sweetie… I know I’ve been an ass today…”

You hiccupped back a sob as Minho took your hands in his and Jisung hurried over to wrap his arms around you. “I-it’s not you, Min…” You sniffled.

“Talk to us, baby. What’s the matter?” Jisung’s voice was soothing as he tucked your hair behind your ear and massaged the base of your neck.

You shook your head and hung your head low, your hands still ensnared in Minho’s grasp. He released one of your hands so he could rub his own up and down your thigh lovingly. “Kitten, you know I’m not good at this whole comforting thing, so you’re going to have to help me out here…” His touch left searing heat on your thigh and you squirmed under the combined touch of his and Jisung’s ministrations on your body.

“It’s just…” You fiddled with Minho’s hand as you tried to find a way to express what you wanted to say. “It’s just hard to find the right guy when I know I won’t find anyone near as great as you two…” You timidly watched as the two men looked at each other with wide eyes and then back at you. “I-I know that sounds weird! B-but I don’t mean it like–”

“Shhh, it’s okay, love. We get it.” Jisung cupped your cheek with his free hand and wiped away another couple of tears that had escaped. “We understand more than you realize.” Jisung leaned in and delicately placed a warm, wet kiss on your jaw, making you shiver.

Minho changed the course of his hand to start lightly rubbing circles on your upper thigh. A dangerous feeling started building in your nether regions and you started to get anxious. “I would never be able to imagine my life without you and Sungie either…” Minho let his lips linger on your knuckles and your breath hitched.

Fuck. They both looked up at you with intense eyes because of course they noticed. “We told you, you are just as much a part of this relationship as we are, kitten. Whatever you need… we can provide…” Minho tentatively moved his wandering hand closer to your inner thigh and Jisung placed another kiss on your neck this time. “Only if you want it though…”

They were being cautious, you could tell, but they made their intentions very clear. If you wanted it, you could have them. You should have been freaked out. Should have asked your best friends what the fuck they were thinking and that you weren’t into whatever polyamorous relationship they were conjuring up in their minds. And normally that would be true… for anyone other than these two…

You were soaking in your panties and you couldn’t deny it. The thought of having a relationship with not only one, but both of your best friends should have made you run for the hills, but instead, it felt like the most logical thing in this world. You figured it only made sense with how much you all loved each other. And now, with everything that had transpired, you couldn’t imagine being with anyone but these two.

Your breathing started getting heavier and your eyes fluttered when you felt Jisung’s tongue flick out over your pulse. “I… I can’t let myself get in between you two…” You already sounded completely fucked out.

“Who said anything about getting in between us? We love you equally just as much.” Jisung whispered against your neck, his breath sending chills down your spine.

“Unless you mean physically, then we definitely don’t mind you being in between us.” Minho muttered as he kissed your kneecap and subtly brushed his fingertips underneath the hem of your dress. You visibly shivered and Minho chuckled, lightly scraping his nails over your goosebumps. “You don’t exactly seem to be opposed to it, kitten…” He looked up at you with blown out pupils and a ravenous expression that made your ears burn.

Jisung whispered again. “All you need to do is ask and we will do anything for you.” He slightly pushed aside your strap and bit your shoulder. You could feel both of them smile against your skin when you whimpered at the feeling. Minho pushed your dress up a tiny bit further.

“What do you want, kitten?” He placed a kiss on your inner thigh and you knew your panties were ruined. Fuck.

“I… I…” Your head was in a fog and the two pulled their heads back from where they were torturing your flesh and they waited for your words with bated breath. You had no doubt that you were incredibly attracted to these men and you were their life companion, but something kept nagging you in the back of the head. You thought of your lives together and how you had watched them grow into these forces of nature and you didn’t know what this would mean if it went on from here. “I don’t want to just be fuck buddies…”

You instantly regretted your words when Minho sprung up from where he knelt in front of you and grabbed your face with both hands. “You really are a stupid little girl.” He growled. “We want all of the strings, Y/N. We want you to be our girl and our girl only. Go on dates with us. Make love to us or let us fuck you senseless. Be everything you already are to us, but more.” He glared at you for a moment more before his face softened. “We love you, baby…”

You felt a tear fall just before you crashed your lips to his. It should have felt weird kissing one of your best friends, but it wasn’t. It felt as natural as breathing and Minho reciprocated it just the same. You could feel him start to get hungry as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and fought for dominance (ever the control freak) and you gladly let him in. Turns out the man is an amazing kisser and when you turned to meet with Jisung, he was just as talented. Hyunjin couldn’t hold a candle to these two, but you might just be a tad bit biased.

As you and Jisung were clashing tongues, you could feel Minho step one leg in between yours and bend down to lick and suck on your neck, hands roaming down your waist and hips. Jisung was caressing your inner thigh and started sliding up under the hem of your dress. You whined when he stopped just at the edge of your panties as if he was waiting for permission. “J-Ji…” You huffed against his lips. “Touch me…”

That was all he needed to start circling his fingers over your panties right on top of your clit. You threw your head back in ecstacy, giving Minho more access to attack your neck. “Baby girl…” Jisung stared at you in awe as he fully lowered one of your straps with his unoccupied hand, revealing one of your breasts to him. “God, you’re perfect…” He breathed against your nipple before he sucked it in his mouth hard. You belted out a cry as he rolled the tip of it in between his teeth. Your voice cracked as you whined when Jisung retreated his hand from your clit until you felt Minho get back on his knees in front of you, spreading your legs open for him and bunching your dress up to your waist.

“Holy FUCK, Sungie, come look at this beauty…” The ravenette released your swollen nipple and both of the boys gazed at your pussy in awe. “Her cunt is practically dripping for us!” You got extremely annoyed when they wouldn’t stop ogling.

“Are you two going to just stare all day or are you going to actually do something about it?” You growled and both of the boys fixed their blown out eyes onto yours.

“Just savoring our fantasies, gorgeous. Trust us, we want nothing more than to satisfy your every need.” Minho gave you another one of his annoying little smirks. They fantasized about you? You didn’t have much time to ruminate on that fact because Minho suddenly dipped his finger into your sopping entrance from the side of your lacy underwear. Your hands grasped onto Jisung’s arm for dear life as your body went rigid.

Apparently Minho had lost his patience because he practically ripped your panties off of you and buried his face in your crotch like a man starved. He latched onto your clit and sucked while his skilled tongue flicked over it with desperate movements. Jisung returned to your mouth while one of his hands lowered your other strap and started alternating between your breasts, pinching and twisting your nipples while the other was buried in your hair, giving intermittent little tugs.

You moaned into his mouth and he sucked on your tongue. The overwhelming stimulation of the two quickly brought you over the edge and it surprised all three of you when you came with a loud cry. “Shit, Min. I knew your tongue was magic but, damn. Look how fucked out she already is!” Jisung brushed your hair back off your face with a satisfied smile. You had slumped back onto your elbows on the bed and you were breathing hard.

“Off. Clothes off. Now.” You had lost the ability to form full sentences and the boys stripped faster than you knew was possible, their erections fully prominent through their boxers. They helped rid you of your dress, leaving you completely naked as they scooted you up further onto the bed. Jisung sat behind you as he pulled you to his chest and Minho hovered over you with a dangerous look in his eyes.

His hand slid up your leg again, but wasted no time in dipping two fingers into your clenching pussy. You mewled at the stretch and laid your head back against the soft skin of Jisung’s shoulder. “Fuck, you’re so tight, kitten. I hope you can take us.” You could only hum in response to Minho as he stretched you with his fingers. When he leaned in, you figured he was going to kiss you, but the two men ended up making out over your shoulder while Minho was finger fucking you and Jisung dropped his hand down to circle his fingers around your clit.

They were an enigma. You couldn’t stop staring at the erotic display of these two gorgeous men intertwining tongues while pleasuring you. You couldn’t believe you were rising to orgasm again just watching them. “Oh god, that’s so fucking hot…” You couldn’t control the sudden confession from your mouth. Jisung side eyed you when your breathing picked up and smirked at the sight of you watching them.

He turned away from Minho to whisper in your ear. “Correct me if I’m wrong, angel. But have you fantasized about Minnie and I fucking before?” You had never heard Jisung sound so seductive before and it made your face burn in embarrassment.

Minho plastered his signature shit-eating grin on his face and leaned into your other ear, still languidly pumping his fingers into your sweet spot. “I think this angel has a little bit of a devil in her, Sungie.” He abruptly shoved a third finger in you deep, making you yelp in response. “Do you get off thinking about us, baby?” You couldn’t answer, you could only squeeze your eyes shut, suddenly bashful. Minho would have none of that though as he grabbed your jaw with his free hand and made you look at him. “Answer me, brat.”

You timidly nodded your head and you could feel your entire face light on fire. The smug smile on Minho’s face did nothing to soothe your embarrassment. You felt the grip on your jaw tighten, prying your mouth open as he removed his fingers from your cunt. You whined as you clenched around nothing, but Minho held his dripping fingers right up against your bottom lip.

“Suck.” He pushed his fingers past your lips and you sucked on them hungrily, tasting yourself. You twirled your tongue around and in between them, locking eyes with him and trying to give him the illusion that it was him you were sucking off. “Shit… You’re fucking unreal , kitten.”

Jisung was attacking your neck and had never left your clit since he started. “You gonna let Minnie fuck that tight little pussy of yours, baby girl?” Jisung whispered as he bit your earlobe.

“Oh god, please.” You groaned.

“As you wish, kitten.” He stood up and shucked off his boxers and HOLY FUCK was he for real? That had probably been the most beautiful dick you had ever seen and it must have shown on your face because that cocky ass smile formed on his lips. “You got a rubber, sweetheart?”

“No need, I’m clean and on birth control. Now get the fuck over here.” You squealed when Jisung pinched your clit. You fluttered your eyes in ecstasy up at Minho. “Come paint my insides, Min.” The two men groaned at the same time and the brunette basically tackled the both of you, alternating between both of your mouths and grabbing you by the legs.

You started to feel Jisung rub his erection against your back and you grinded against him, making his breath hitch. Minho grabbed Jisungs ass and dragged the two of you forward so you were leaning further back against Jisung. “This might hurt a bit, kitten.” You involuntarily started pushing your hips forward in a desperate attempt to get his cock into you as soon as humanly possible. Jisung held down your hips though when Minho dragged his burning hot tip against you, teasing your clit and entrance as if he had all the time in the world. And maybe you did, but that didn’t mean your patience was any less thin. “I swear to fucking god, Minho. If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to–!”

Your breath was kicked from your lungs as soon as he slammed his hips into you, fully sheathed balls deep and crushing your cervix. “Holy fucking hell, kitten… Why the FUCK have you kept this tight, wet, perfection away from us for so long?!” Minho almost looked like he was in pain from the amount of pleasure he was in. “Sungie, I can’t wait for you to feel her… she’s so goddamned perfect…” Minho groaned loudly, but stayed still inside you, allowing you to get used to the stretch.

You were choking on your own gasps and you felt like you had been punched in the gut. Your voice was shaky as you squeaked out a small “Minnie…” and he smiled down at you with heart eyes. He leaned in to lock his lips with yours in a long, sensual kiss. You felt all the love he rarely portrayed with words pour out into his kiss and you felt Jisung kiss the side of your neck while rubbing small, soothing circles into your lower stomach.

Once the pain started to subside, you started to roll your hips into him, hopefully giving him the hint that you were ready to be fucked into the mattress. Or really, fucked into Jisung’s chest. Thankfully, the message was received and he started languidly rocking his erection in and out shallowly.

“F-Fuu–” You threw your head back again as Jisung’s lips replaced Minho’s. As Minho started moving faster, your kisses grew hungrier. You sucked and bit Jisung’s lips like you wanted to eat him and, if you were being honest, you did. “Ji… let me taste you.” You sighed the words against his lips and he wasted no time sliding himself out from beneath you and propping up on his knees beside you, palming his clothed erection.

“You’re sure, baby girl?”

“Please, JiJi!” You wanted nothing more than to make these men feel good. For once, you weren’t worried about your own pleasure, your sole purpose at that moment was to please them. When he whipped out his dick, you salivated. WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE MEN’S DICKS SO PRETTY?! You raised a hand up and tentatively wrapped your hand around the smooth skin, feeling the extraordinary heat radiating off of him.

You gazed up at him as you licked him from base to tip and you could see his eyes roll into the back of his head. You swirled your tongue around the tip and then wrapped your lips around him, you were always more than confident in your head game as you swallowed around him deeper. “Sh-shit, baby. Keep that up and you’re going to finish me off before I can even fuck Minnie’s cum back into you.”

Those words immediately brought you back to the unbearable pleasure that Minho was treating you to. You looked over to him while you tongued Jisung’s slit and he had burning desire written in his eyes as he watched you suck Jisung’s cock. He abruptly wrapped his fingers around the back of your knees with bruising force and raised them to your chest, folding you in half. Your screams were muffled by Jisung’s dick as Minho rammed directly into your sensitive bundle of nerves at the top of your walls and pumped into you at a blinding pace.

The sounds of both of your best friends moaning from the pleasure you were giving them combined with the slapping and squelching of Minho nailing your sweet spot sent you tumbling over the edge. You screamed on Jisung’s cock as you drenched Minho with your orgasm, making his hips stutter. Your clenching walls pulled him into a vice grip and you felt him cum so hard you could almost taste it.

The sight of Minho climaxing was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen, there was no describing it. You milked each other through your orgasms and Jisung pulled himself away from you. “Sung, you have to feel her. It’s fucking revolutionary!” You chuckled at his out of breath response as he removed himself from between your legs, Jisung replacing him.

Unlike Minho, Jisung was gentle and loving. He entered you slowly and the stretch was once again absolutely euphoric. He had an awestruck look in his eyes as he felt your slick walls and he had the same pleasure-pained look on his face that Minho had. His eyes peered into your soul as he caressed the side of your face and his face lit up with a contagious smile. “I love you so much, baby girl.” He pressed his lips to yours in a slow, beautiful kiss, tongues intertwining in a passionate dance.

Minho, who had flopped down next to you on the bed trying to catch his breath, had propped himself up on his elbow and started caressing Jisung’s back. “I’ll be right back, love.” Jisung just hummed in response into your mouth and you could hear Minho shimmy off the bed and shuffle out of the room.

Jisung pulled away from the kiss and caressed your cheek again, running his thumb over your lips as he lazily pumped into you. “Is this okay, baby? I know it probably seems weird to you–”

“Shhh…” You whispered and nuzzled into his hand. “Nothing could be more perfect than where I am right now.” You smiled up at him and he buried his face into your neck with a small kiss.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Hanji…” You opened your eyes when you felt a small kiss on your cheek.

“And I guess I love both of you.” Minho said against your skin when he returned in the same state as he left.

“Wow, what an honor. *ngh* I guess I love you too, Min.” You joked, but the power of Jisung’s thrusts strengthened. You gasped at the intensity, even though he was still going at a leisurely pace, he was ramming into your already bruised cervix. “SHIT, JI!” You squeaked out through clenched teeth. He raised his head up to look at you with a mischievous grin.

Somewhere in the background you heard a snap of a cap and before Jisung could respond to you, he was suddenly gasping loudly on top of you. “HOLY FUCK, Min! You can’t blindside me like that!” Jisung looked over his shoulder at the older man behind him that had an evil sneer.

“Sorry. Not sorry, Sung. Your ass is just all too tempting. ESPECIALLY when I can see it clench as you fuck our little kitten.” Minho had apparently made the trek to his room to go claim a bottle of lube because when you peered over Jisung’s shoulder, Minho had a finger buried in his ass and was stretching him open. You were mesmerized by the expressions on Jisung’s face.

He started whimpering and dropped his head to your shoulder. “Nuh uh.” You grabbed his head and raised it again, a pained expression on his face. “I want to see your face when Minnie and I wreck you.” You could hear Minho hiss through his teeth behind Jisung and he was suddenly thrusted forward, making him gasp and, in turn, making you gasp from your shared stimulation.

Minho chuckled. “Holy fucking shit, this is going to be fun. I get to control both of you just with one–” He pushed his fingers harshly into Jisung again and you both whined. “–push.” He continued with that torture and you could tell he was adding more fingers due to the pained expression of the man above you. “You okay, babe?” Minho’s free hand drew comforting circles on Jisung’s hip and you felt butterflies in your stomach from Minho’s rare tenderness.

“Yes. Please, Min. Fuck her through me… We need you…” Jisung’s breath was heavy as he gasped out the provocative words. Minho’s eyes turned dark and that was all he needed to slam his dick into Jisung’s ass, making all three of you cry in pleasure. The three of you were still for a moment while Jisung got comfortable with the stretch and you mewled at the feeling of his dick twitching inside of you. You clenched around him and he whined. “OH GOD, don’t do that to me, baby girl. Don’t want to finish me off before we’ve even started!”

Minho chuckled behind him, knowing exactly what you were doing to him and he started slowly pulling back before pumping both of you back and forth at a steady pace. There were whines, gasps, and moans alternating between the three of you, but Minho seemed particularly ravenous. Grunting, hissing, and growling as he started to build his pace.

Jisung bent his head down and continued moaning while latching onto your nipple. You promptly tangled your fingers in his hair with one hand and the other intertwined fingers with Minho’s hand that had been gripping onto Jisung’s waist. He looked down at you with a tender smile and squeezed your hand as he repositioned his posture.

Jisung abruptly jolted forward with a cry, releasing your nipple and biting onto your shoulder, making you whine as well. Minho smiled down to where he was connected with Jisung. “You like that, babe?”

“FUCK YES! GOD, Minnie! Please! R-right there! Don’t stop!” Jisung sounded desperate and you could feel it in the way he was see-sawing between you and Minho. It was so damned erotic and you could feel another high approaching.

“Harder! Please!” You threw your head back as both of the men’s paces increased along with their power.

“How does Sungie feel, kitten?”

“Fucking DELICIOUS.” You whimpered and Jisung took the liberty of licking all the way up your outstretched neck, ending his journey by slipping his tongue into your mouth with a heated kiss. One of his hands grasped onto the back of your neck for dear life and the other intertwined fingers with you above your head so that each of your hands were locked with both of your boys.

Minho’s grunts became more choppy and Jisung was whimpering with every thrust and you LOST IT. Your third orgasm came so hard that you would be seeing stars for weeks. Your clenching and all-encompassing flooding around Jisung’s dick pushed him over the edge as well as his hips stuttered and you felt warmth, once again, squirting and mixing in with Minho’s seed.

“SHIT FUCK–” Jisung seemed to have been clenching as well because Minho’s loud cursing and stuttering of his slapping hips indicated his second release of the night. Jisung’s eyes rolled into the back of his head at the feeling and he collapsed on top of you. Minho then promptly collapsed on top of him and you could feel Jisung’s dick slowly slide out of you along with a sea of cum.

You grunted with the combined weight of the men on top of you and you released both of their hands, instead slapping their shoulders. “Guys–” You wheezed. “Get your heavy asses off of me! I’m suffocating!”

Minho was the first to roll off and lay on his side next to you. “Psh. Says the lumberjack.” You slapped him on the pec with the back of your hand halfheartedly and he guffawed.

When Jisung rolled off to lay on your other side, you looked over to see a sleepy smile. You cupped his cheek and kissed him tenderly and then turned to the other side and did the same with Minho. “I can definitely say that you guys have grown in more ways than one.” You chuckled with heavy breathing, the two of them joining you.

Jisung took a fistful of your boob and squeezed. “I could say the same about you. I’ve been wanting to get ahold of these babies for ages.” That brought an important thought to the forefront of your mind.

You quickly sat up and turned around to face them, startling both of them with concerned faces. “Yeah! What the hell is that about? How long have you guys wanted this fucking ‘menage a trois’ to be a thing?”

Jisung just blushed and Minho just looked amused at his boyfriend’s flustered state. “Since high school.” Minho said this so nonchalantly, you thought it had to be some kind of joke.

“I’m serious, Min! How long?”

“I’m serious, kitten. Since high school. We only really admitted it to each other once Sungie and I started dating. That’s when we knew that we wouldn’t feel complete without you being with us too.” Minho rolled over on his side to face you and thumbed your mouth. “I just can’t believe it took your leadass brain so long to realize.”

You half-chuckled in disbelief and the action ended up slightly pushing all three of your combined fluids out of your crotch. Your eyes widened and you clenched your thighs together. “I’m pretty sure I am ruining my bedsheets right now…”

“Babe, I think they were ruined from the start.” Jisung laughed and both of them looked at each other with mischievous eyes. They took each of your legs and pried them apart, admiring their work. “Fuck, that’s so hot. No wonder Min likes to watch me when he finishes.”

You blushed hardcore and swiftly sat up, ripping their hands from the vice grip on your thighs. Once you stood up and turned back to them, you outstretched a hand to both of them. “Wanna take a shower?”

You had never seen the boys move so fast. They took your hands to hop out of bed. Jisung quickly rushed to the bathroom while Minho bent down to throw you over his shoulder, promptly smacking your ass hard once you were manhandled into position. You screeched and he just laughed at you menacingly.

“God, your ass his so fucking spankable.”

“You have a problem, sir.”

“Oh? Sir? I like that, kitten.” Once he sat you on your feet in the bathroom, he whispered in your ear. “Maybe I should make you call me that from now on, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes and pushed past him. “I’d bet my ass to get you to try and ‘make’ me do anything.” You stepped into the shower with Jisung and felt automatically drawn to the huge smile on his face. “Hi JiJi…” You kissed him tenderly as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

He kissed you back gently and lovingly as he caressed your sides and hips, tongues slowly dancing with each other. When he broke the kiss, he abruptly spun you around to wrap his arms around you in a back hug. You found yourself facing Minho’s sudsy body and a shit-eating grin. Well fuck.

“You really shouldn’t have said that, kitten.” He stepped towards you and you felt something turn in your core. “How about we clean you out properly?” You whimpered when he bent down to lick a stripe up your throbbing and dripping folds and then gently pressed a finger into your entrance.

You couldn’t help but to gasp and throw your head back against Jisung’s shoulder, causing him to start placing open mouthed kisses up and down your neck and shoulder, sucking on the already bruising hickeys that were left there.

Your body instinctively squirmed from the pleasure-pain Minho was inducing down below and Jisung’s ministrations up above on your already sensitive areas. Jisung firmly grasped your hips and pressed you up against his erection causing a moan to slip out of your mouth. “You like that baby girl? Is Minnie making you feel good?” You nodded frantically at Jisung’s whispered words and that only made Minho suck even harder on your swollen clit.

You cried out when you felt one of Minho’s slick fingers circle around the rim of your asshole. “M-Minnie… what–?”

“You think you can take us both, kitten?” You gasped when you felt him breach your rim and slowly enter.

“I-I…” You couldn’t control your clenching.

“Relax, sweetheart. We don’t have to if you don’t want it.” Jisung kissed your cheek sweetly and rubbed soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs.

You peered down at Minho that was looking up at you in anticipation. Fuck it. “Okay, Min. Just… take it slow…” He smiled at you and latched onto your clit again, eating you out with determined purpose as he slowly got you used to the unfamiliar feeling of his finger pumping in and out of your sphincter.

You had done anal once before but the dude was super rough and it hurt like hell. Needless to say, you dropped that motherfucker real quick. Minho was patient and comforting, making sure you were comfortable and checking when you were ready for more. You barely felt any discomfort at all, especially with the delicious sensation he was providing to your bliss button. Not to mention Jisung’s ministrations on your neck and nipples.

“Ah, FUCK. Keep doing that Minnie! Don’t stop!” He was flicking and circling your clit with his skilled tongue and your knees started getting weak, all the while stretching you wide open. When he pulled away you cried out. “NO! No no no, PLEASE Minnie!”

He just chuckled and stood up to press his body against yours, removing his fingers and wiping them on his still soapy body. “Now now, sweetheart. We don’t want to ruin the main course now, do we?”

You attacked him. You pushed him against the wall and started devouring his lips, biting, sucking, and licking anything and everything you could get your mouth on and he responded eagerly. You lifted your leg onto his hip and frantically guided his painfully hard erection to your entrance, sheathing yourself and whimpering at the euphoric feeling. He moaned into the kiss and fully lifted you, sitting you on his cock and presenting your ass for Jisung to line up with. You tensed when you felt his tip touch your rim and, without a shadow of doubt, they noticed.

Minho’s kisses started to get less hungry and more loving, rubbing soothing circles on your thighs with his thumbs from where he was holding you up. Jisung was gently circling the outside of your hole to get you to relax and spread his precum around your entrance. He sweetly kissed your shoulder, shushing you to calmness.

Minho started slowly grinding in you and the pleasure outmassed the discomfort of Jisung slowly stretching you with his dick. “O-oh GOD…” Jisung’s breathy moan sent butterflies through your stomach and they both stilled for a moment so you could get acclimated to the feeling once the boy behind you was fully sheathed.

“F-fuck… S-so f-full…” You choked out.

“Shhh, you’re doing so well, baby girl.” Jisung kissed your sweaty temple.

“Such a good girl. Letting us fill up all of her tight little holes. Just breathe and relax for me kitten, okay?” You didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until Minho pointed it out. You gulped up the much needed oxygen and closed your eyes, trying to focus on the euphoric sensation that Jisung had started administering to your clit.

Both of the boys latched their lips onto each side of your neck and you moaned, finally feeling that warmth in your core again. “Y-you can move…” Once they started, you realized that you didn’t feel any pain at all. It actually started feeling quite pleasurable. Feeling the two completely filling you up put a pressure on your sensitive nerves that had you dripping with your arousal.

“Oh, Sungie. You feel amazing through her walls, babe.” They were see-sawing in between your holes to ensure that you were never left empty and you could feel your high slowly approaching again. You were groaning, sighing, and moaning so loud that you were sure the neighbors were concerned for your well being.

“You like that baby girl?” Minho slammed into you and they started moving faster, the cry you belted out just seemed to egg them on further.

Jisung brought three of his fingers to your mouth and pawed at your lips. “I think she needs more holes filled. What do you think, Minnie?”

“I think that is a brilliant idea, Sung. Open up for him, will you, kitten?” You obediently opened up and enclosed your mouth on his fingers as if you were blowing him, twirling your tongue around and sucking eagerly.

“That’s a good girl.” You felt Jisung intertwine his fingers with one of the hands that Minho was using to hold your ass up and your heart swelled. You spat out Jisung’s fingers.

“Kiss each other…” You breathed out and they wasted no time in obliging. You watched as they tenderly locked lips and sweetly tangled their tongues together and it just about pushed you over the edge. You were just about hyperventilating and you rocked between their cocks faster. Your eyes fluttered at the image of the two and you buried your teeth into Minho’s shoulder as you flooded their cocks.

You screamed and clenched all of your holes and the boys grunted and hissed into each other’s mouths, shooting their white hot spunk all over your walls. You almost passed out from the feeling and the both of them braced themselves you when they felt your body go limp.

A whimper escaped your mouth when they both pulled out of you, leaving you with an excruciatingly uncomfortable empty feeling. When Minho stood you back up, your knees buckled and they both caught you before you bit the dust. “Don’t worry, baby girl. We’ve got you.” Jisung spoke in a soft voice and you melted into them as they gently cleaned your body.

They wrapped you in a fuzzy towel and Minho picked you up bridal style. Since your bed was utterly trashed now, the three of you crashed on Minho’s bed and you never realized how comfortable it was. It felt kind of weird laying naked with your two best friends, but you felt too fucked out from your multiple orgasms that you couldn’t bring yourself to give two flying fucks.

Minho wrapped around you from behind and Jisung laid facing you. “I can’t believe we actually got you to agree to this, sweet thing.” Jisung traced his fingers around your face with a feather-light touch. His eyes glimmered with wonder and he looked totally lost in your eyes.

Minho squeezed you snug against his chest and placed a chaste kiss on your shoulder. “You’re stuck with us now, kitten.”

You scoffed as you buried your face in the crook of Jisung’s neck. “As if I wasn’t already stuck with you douchebags in the first place.”

After a moment of silence of being caged between the two, Minho randomly chuckled before he full-on started his evil cackling. “What’s so funny?” You drearily asked, starting to feel the weight of the day on your mind and body.

He slithered his hand down to your ass cheek and groped it firmly. “You said you’d bet your ass. I’m pretty sure double penetration qualifies as me ‘making’ you do something.” He swiftly smacked your ass and you jolted in place. “This gorgeous ass is mine now.”

“No fair! I deserve it too!” Jisung grabbed your other cheek.

“That doesn’t count! I allowed that to happen, you weasel!” You protested, but you didn’t exactly mind the two sexy motherfuckers massaging your ass.

“Sure sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, kitten. You just need to know we own it either way.” Minho gave it a firm squeeze then relented his ministrations to firmly wrap his arm around your waist.

Jisung did the same and caressed Minho’s arm all the while. He sweetly kissed you and then Minho turned your head by your jaw to do the same. You felt so much love in that moment that you started to get emotional. “I love you guys so much… I am forever grateful to Mrs. Choi for punishing me to sit next to your weasel ass.”

Both of the men chuckled in tandem. “I am too, kitten. We love you so much.” Your eyes watered at Minho’s rare soft confession and Jisung’s agreement. “Now enough of this sappy shit, go to sleep you lumberjack.” Of fucking course, it is Lee Minho we are talking about here.

“Why am I not surprised that you could ruin such a beautiful moment?” Jisung slapped Minho’s arm and he slapped back, starting a poking and tickling fight between the two.

“Hey! Cut it out or I’m leaving you two to go sleep in my room!” They squeezed you tightly when you wiggled in their grasp and then trapped you in a vice grip.

“I’d like to see you try, kitten.” Minho’s seductive tone sent shivers down your spine and Jisung mimicked his voice.

“We’re never letting you go, baby girl.”

You sighed and snuggled in. “I guess I can’t complain about that. The feeling is mutual.”

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If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Please like, follow, and share! Thanks baby stays! 😘

2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist

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c0wgurlz · 1 year ago

Text

Trouble On My Left, Trouble On My Right

Chapter 2: Operation, Find Caroline a Cowboy

gif by @bodybebangin

Kayce Dutton x Reader/OC - Friends to Lovers

He doesn't even have to take half a step to catch back up with me. “Come on Caroline, you know I’m just teasing you.” He pats my back as a peace offering. “Although,” Okay, maybe not. “I have it on good authority that I can please the ladies, so save a horse and all that.” Winking flirtatiously, he belts out a laugh, finally removing his hand from my bare back. And what a blessing that is, because if he had kept touching me while talking about… that, I’d be liable to combust.

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Chapter 1

Sorry it took me so long to update! I'm a teacher and my free time is fairly limited. We're at a point in the school year now though that is much less stressful, so expect fairly regular updates, at least for the next few chapters.

Comments are so appreciated! I'd love to know what ya'll like and what ya'll think I could improve upon.

As always: I do not own Yellowstone (2018) or any of its characters. This work is not monetized.

THIS FIC IS CROSSPOSTED TO AO3. It is not posted to any other site. I am lookingcold on AO3 and that is all. I do not give permission for my work to be posted by others to any other platform.

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We don’t talk for the rest of the walk, but the silence is comfortable, like it always is between us. Kayce and I have never asked too much of each other, have always read each others’ moods as if they were our own, and that apparently hasn’t changed from the five years we’ve spent apart. It’s glaringly obvious to us both that neither is up for idle chit chat.

And while I’m really not up for small talk, the silence does, unfortunately, give me entirely too much time to overthink. What felt like such a natural decision, what felt like fulfilling my duty this morning, now feels foolhardy, and quite possibly too risky. Now this isn’t to say that I’m doubting my choice. Helping Mr. John, helping Kayce, helping the family and ranch that raised me, that picked up my pieces and glued me back together over and over, is a no brainer. Helping the people and the place I love most in the world feels as natural as breathing. But smoothing over a murder? That’s- No, I’m not doubting my choice, but I’m sure as hell doubting my sanity. When I said the Duttons needed a criminal defense lawyer, not a PR specialist, I wasn’t exaggerating. And if I’m being honest, this job feels more like that of an accessory than a public relations consult.

The front porch of the big house comes into view well before I’m ready. This dinner may be a reunion of sorts, but it’ll undoubtedly be a business meeting as well. Steeling my nerves for such talks doesn’t come quite as naturally to me as it once did. I feel like a knight with rusty armor. Weak at critical points, weak where it matters. More aptly, I feel like a little girl again, staring into the headlights of a train with no way to move and no way to stop it. I’m no coward, please don’t think that of me, but you know that feeling of impending doom? The one that makes your spine tingle and your stomach drop to your knees? Dread is probably the best word. That’s all I can feel as I stand at the bottom step of the Dutton’s porch.

I must hesitate for too long, or stare off into space, or look absolutely fucking terrified, because in a flash Kayce is back down the two steps he’d already taken and by my side. He doesn’t say anything, you’d think we’d taken a vow of silence, but just looks at me imploringly, resembling a curious puppy so much I almost crack a smile. And then Kacye, sweet Kayce, wraps his calloused hand around mine and tucks it against his chest, over his heart, before tipping his head, ushering me up the stairs. Once I’m half way up I get a fond, “Atta girl,” and what woman doesn’t love being praised like an obedient mare. I snort in response and kick out my foot to trip him, but only a little bit, on the last stair. Can’t have hime getting too full of himself.

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Dinner is nice, but rather awkward if I’m totally honest, mainly due to the fact that Beth and Jamie are in attendance. Let’s just say Gator clears the table well before dinner should truly be over. To my surprise, we don’t talk business, but rather I’m questioned, interrogated really, over what I’ve been up to the past five years and why haven’t I called and would it really kill me to send a text every few months. Beth is the one who leads this inquiry. Jamie and I were never particularly close, so he remains silent for the most part, and he leaves in a huff shortly after Beth throws a fork like it’s a trident directly at his forehead. Can’t say I blame him, even I can only handle so much of Beth when she’s at her worst.

My interrogation is blissfully, or so I thought, cut short by Mr. John when he asks, “So, ya’ll have any plans tonight?” He folds his napkin meticulously, trying to look nonchalant but missing the mark by a shameful amount. If I thought that feeling of dread had left me, I was wrong.

I narrow my eyes and prepare to defend myself against an interrogation of a different kind. Before I can grit out a suspicious, “No, why,” however, Beth pipes up. “Actually Daddy, since you asked,” at this she turns to me, “Caroline, how do you feel about heading into town and getting gloriously drunk and then gloriously fucked? You’ve been gone far too long, so you’ve got to be re-initiated, re-tainted if you will.” She looks me up and down, assessing. “You’re far too shiny, like a little cherub.”

Jesus Christ, I think she’s suggesting I fuck a townie. And Mary and Joseph I haven’t even so much as kissed someone since my divorce - ok, well maybe a peck or two here or there, but that’s besides the point. Here I was, so worried about talking business, about skirting around the subject of murder, only to be blindsided by an age old Dutton scheme. Operation: Find Caroline a Cowboy. Well if Beth thinks I’m about to get biblical with some rando she is absolutely, positively looney tunes. Now, how to communicate all of that in a tactful way? Taking a shallow breath, I part my lips and prepare to spout some placating, buzzword bullshit. Something along the lines of, “Well, as fun as that sounds, I’m actually really tired. Maybe later this weekend?” or “How about we just kick back in the bunkhouse tonight, save the salaciousess for this Saturday?” Before I can even utter a word though, Kayce butts in on my behalf.

“Do you maybe think you could save the corruption for later, Beth? I’ve already promised the boys that I’ll bring Caroline around for cards tonight.” While his voice is calm, casual even, Kayce gives himself away the moment he begins to bounce his leg, the tap tap tap of the heel of his boot loud in the otherwise quiet room. He’s uncomfortable, maybe even irritated, which aren’t we all at least a little bit when speaking to Beth, but there’s something else. A boyishness to his demeanor that I haven’t seen since high school. There’s also the fact that we had decidedly made zero plans to visit the bunkhouse tonight. So. Interesting.

I’m certainly not the only one to notice his odd shift in behavior, as Mr. John’s lips curl into a smirk and Beth’s face arranges inself into a pleased, self-satisfied expression. She frequently wears the look of someone who knows enough to destroy literally any given person’s life, but this look is more playful, one of a cat that’s pinned a mouse by its tail. Ignoring Kayce, she turns her attention back to me. “Caroline, sweetheart, don’t even think about screwing any of those cowboys. I know old habits die hard, but trust me when I say not a single one of them is worth a ride.” Now, to be clear, Beth knows, I know, Mr. John knows, and even Kayce knows that Beth has only ever screwed one of said cowboys out in that bunkhouse, still, her dig elicits the desired reaction from Kayce. And furthermore, she makes it clear that she’s not just trying to set me up with any old cowboy. I’m on to her. Operation: Find Caroline a Kayce.

With a cringe of disgust and a flushed face, he exclaims, “Fuck’s sake Beth, I’m not taking her out there to pimp her out.” He’s stopped smoothing the tablecloth, but now he’s exasperatedly running his hand through his still damp hair. Shit, Kayce. You think he’d have learned by now how to not play into Beth’s hand. Some people just have to learn the hard way I suppose.

Beth’s eyebrows lift and the corner of her mouth quirks. “Well you’re not a very good bestfriend then, are you?”

“Fuck you.” Kayce mutters, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms petulantlly.

“Maybe you should be saying that to her.” Beth points at me with her napkin, dropping it onto her plate as she rises from the table. “This has been fun. Possibly the best family dinner we’ve had all year.” Planting a kiss on Mr. John’s cheek she says, “Love you Daddy, have a drink with me later, will you? I think we should talk.” Then, rounding the table to me, she strokes my hair, almost motherly, “Caroline, sweetheart, clear your schedule Saturday. Me and you are going to paint the town red.” Finally, reaching Kayce, she sighs, “Goodnight, dummy. Let me know if you’d like help finding your balls.” And just like a tornado, she’s there wreaking havoc one moment, and gone the next.

The dining room is uncomfortably silent for a beat after she exits, until Mr. John blessedly breaks the awkwardness yet again. “Beth’s antics aside, I don’t think ya’ll should be going out anywhere tonight. We’ve got several important meetings lined up tomorrow morning and I need both of you sharp. Especially you Kayce, tomorrow will require you to tell a very particular version of events and I can’t risk you fucking that up. Alright, Son?”

Looking slightly cowed, Kayce nods his head in agreement. “Alright.”

Having determined this hell of a dinner has gone on long enough, I begin to make moves to excuse Kayce and myself. “Dinner was delicious Mr. John, thank you for having me. And thank you for such fine company.” I may be lying out of my ass, but my momma didn’t raise me to be rude.

Mr. John exhales a dry laugh and rises from the table. It’s moments like this where his and Beth’s resemblance is striking. “No need to thank me, honey. You’re family, you’re welcome at my table anytime.” Pushing in his chair he surveys Kayce and I with calculating eyes. “Why don’t you two head on home, you both look like you’ve been put through the wringer.”

Gee Mr. John, I wonder the hell why?

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Our walk back isn’t nearly as silent as our walk to the house. To say Kayce is pissed would be putting it lightly. “What in the actual fuck was all that? I mean, Beth was no surprise, but what shit is Dad trying to pull?”

“Kayce, your daddy barely said a word.” I’m more focused on the words left unsaid.

“He didn’t have to say anything Carrie, he sat there like a smug bastard and let Beth say it all for him.” Kayce may as well be pitching a fit the way he kicks at the ground, arms hugged tight to his chest like a wronged toddler. Honestly, the image is kind of amusing, so much so that I have to stifle a laugh. I must not do a good enough job, because I can feel the glare that Kayce shoots through the side of my head. “What?”

Not wanting to add fuel to the fire, I’m quick to hide my growing grin. “Well first off, I’m gonna overlook the fact you pulled out my forbidden nickname. But second, do you remember that Christmas when we were thirteen? How Beth hung mistletoe from literally every single doorway, and how your daddy actually enforced the kissing rule?” I raise my eyebrows high, daring him to conveniently “forget” an awkward moment from our childhood as he often pretends to do.

The tips of his ears turn pink, but he sighs his agreement. “Yeah I remember, we must’ve kissed two dozen times. At the time I thought dying would’ve been a kinder fate.”

Asshole. I punch him in the arm, hard. “Wow. Thanks a lot. The sentiment is shared.” Rolling my eyes and checking for invisible dirt beneath my nails, I continue. “Anyways, what they’re doing now, Beth and your daddy, is just an enormous escalation of what they did then. I don’t think Mr. John will rest in his grave until I give him a grandbaby - with you.” I look at Kayce pointedly. It’s no secret that Mr. John, and Beth by extension, have been holding out hope that me and Kayce would fall madly in love and have lots of babies. When Kayce married Monica the teasing and hinting stopped, after all Mr. John would never disrespect their marriage in such a way, and when I married Judd it was almost like a fence went up between us, between myself and the Duttons that is, but now that both of our spouses are out of the picture? I’m certainly not surprised the trouble has started back up.

I expect Kayce to splutter and turn a darker shade of red. Despite his gruff exterior he’s always been reserved and easy to embarrass. He surprises me though when he mutters, “Maybe we should just give him what he wants then. Get him and Beth off our backs.”

I shock myself with the cackle that bursts its way out of my body. It bubbles out partly because of the utter glee I get from Kayce having a sense of humor for once and partly from the insanity of such a suggestion. “So you’re telling me, that your solution to getting your daddy and Beth to leave us alone, is to have a baby together? Yeah, because they definitely would have no interest in our love lives after a stunt like that.” I bump his hip with mine. “I can just hear Beth now, ‘I’m thinking a Fall wedding, you look horrible in bright colors and nobody wants to wear a suit in eighty-eight degree weather.’ We’d never hear the end of it.”

Kayce shrugs, shooting me a wry grin. “Hey, if we marry each other at least we’ll know what we’re getting into. No surprises.”

“Yeah, and no sex,” slips past my lips before I can swallow it down. What a stupid fucking thing to say. Good job Caroline, talk about fucking, or not fucking, your best friend some more why don’t you. Now I’m the one who’s blushing. Pink from the roots of my hair to my chest. And what a fatal mistake I’ve made by opening my fat mouth. My whole life I’ve had to be one step ahead of Kayce, embarrassing him before he can embarrass me worse, yet here I am giving him a golden opportunity.

His grin only widens. “I hate to break it to you Carrie, but to make a baby people have to have sex.” He slings an arm around my shoulders, adding insult to injury. “You know when a man loves a woman…”

I elbow him in the ribs before he can continue. He laughs at my embarrassment just as much as he groans from the pain. “Oh shut up.” Now I cross my arms, increasing my stride so that his arm falls from my shoulders.

He doesn’t even have to take half a step to catch back up with me. “Come on Caroline, you know I’m just teasing you.” He pats my back as a peace offering. “Although,” Okay, maybe not. “I have it on good authority that I can please the ladies, so save a horse and all that.” Winking flirtatiously, he belts out a laugh, finally removing his hand from my bare back. And what a blessing that is, because if he had kept touching me while talking about… that, I’d be liable to combust. If Kayce had always been shy and reserved in his day to day life, where I had been bright and obnoxious in mine, the topic of sex is where we switched places. I think calling myself a prude may be a tad harsh, but I certainly have never been one to broadcast my sexual business. Kayce on the other hand has never shied away from flirting, or kissing, or having sex in nearly every one of Mr. John’s pastures - you don’t get someone pregnant at nineteen by keeping it in your pants after all.

Playing the game I had with Kayce in the bathroom earlier today had felt safe, probably because I was the one in control, but this battle of wills feels altogether different, like someone is poking at an insecurity, at a bruise I didn’t even know I had. It’s confusing at best and humiliating at worst. Throwing his words back at him, I huff, “Now Kayce Dutton, you know this conversation is entirely improper, so I suggest you drop it. And also,” I whirl around on the step I’ve just taken. Thank God we’ve reached the foreman’s house because I don’t know how much longer I can participate in this back and forth before I’m forced to will myself out of existence. “Who says I’d even want to have a baby with you? Good authority or not. I know ya’ll’ve gotten new ranch hands since I’ve last been here, all of whom I haven’t gotten to size up yet. You never know, maybe one of them is babydaddy material.” I poke him firmly in the chest. “Don’t assume I haven’t got options.” Before Kayce can respond I storm up the remaining steps and into the house, kicking my boots off perhaps a bit too aggressively before striding into the kitchen. What I plan to do in the kitchen, I don’t know, but I still don’t know which room I’m staying in and the living room feels too cozy to stew in, so the kitchen it is.

Kayce saddles in much more calmly, but his fierce expression gives his true feelings away. “Are you serious?” He grunts, and if I wasn’t so embarrassed, mad, confused, hurt - for some reason that alludes me, I might have found the rocky timbre of his voice sexy.

“Serious about what?” I avoid his gaze petulantly, pouring myself a glass of water for a lack of anything better to do.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” He groans, tipping his head back and rubbing at his eyes. “Are you really picking a fight over whether or not we should get imaginary married, have imaginary sex, and have an imaginary baby? You do hear how crazy that sounds?”

“So now I’m crazy?” My voice is cool, and serious, even though at this point I realize I’ve lost the argument. Even though I’ve realized there never should’ve been an argument in the first place.

Any fight Kayce had left in him drains away. I see the moment that it leaves his body, his eyes softening and his shoulders relaxing. “Caroline, honey, what’d I do?”

Almost as if there’s an invisible string connecting us, my body relaxes too. I blow out a breath, dump my water down the drain, and come to stand in front of him. No island between us. “You didn’t really do anything, just poked at a sore spot, that’s all.”

Sensing that this may be a conversation best saved for later, Kayce graciously changes the subject. Scratching at the back of his neck with one hand and gesturing towards the bathroom with the other he murmurs, “Well uh, if you still wanna have that spa night we should probably get going, we’ve got a early morning tomorrow and if I’m gonna let you take my spa virginity we’ve gotta do this thing right.” That earns him a hard exhale, the ghost of what could’ve been a laugh. But he must know not to expect much else, that I’m still nursing my bruised ego, because he carries on. “So why don’t I go get that bubble bath started and you can sort through your uh lotions and potions, decide on how best to pretty me up. And then maybe we could talk, about anything you want.” He begins to walk backwards, making his way towards the bathroom. It’s odd to hear the soft pad of his socked feet on the hardwood and not the click of his boots, but also kind of nice, endearing.

“Okay,” I breath, “Yeah, that’d be - that’d be nice.” I move to walk past him, into the hall where I’d left my bags. “I think you’ve got a bit of a sunburn so I’ll see if I’ve got an aloe mask for you. If you plan on putting yourself back on the market you’d better start taking care of your looks.”

I’m very purposefully facing away from him, so I don’t see the melancholy on his face so much as I hear it in his voice. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s likely to happen. My days of chasing tail are definitely over.” I don’t reply, not too keen on opening that can of worms further, and so an uncomfortable silence settles over us. It’s only broken when Kayce sighs, “Well, I’ll uh, I’ll be in the bathroom whenever you’re ready.”

Still looking down, I pause the mindless shuffling I’d been doing through my bags, “Alright, just give me a few minutes.” Having found the masks I was looking for well before now, I finally rise from out of my crouch, left knee popping in protest. “Like you said, you deserve a proper first spa night,” I turn my body to reveal my profile, pretending to check the label of the plastic tub in my hands, “I’ve gotta make sure I pull out all the stops. You know I don’t half ass anything.” Feeling generous, I finally offer him a small smile, turning to fully face him.

The relief in his eyes catches me off guard. “Don’t I know it.”

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I don’t know what I expected when Kayce said he’d go run a bubble bath. Too absorbed in my own thoughts, I didn’t consider that such an activity is typically done alone, certainly not with a friend, and even more certainly not with a totally platonic, albeit sexy, boy bestfriend. When I finally make my way into the bathroom however, I’m greeted by the sight of Kayce settled into the comically large clawfoot tub, chin tucked to his chest so that bubbles cling to his beard, eyes unfocused and contemplative. “Didn’t realize I invited Santa Claus.” I joke, at a loss for anything else to say. Too scared to say the wrong thing or ask the wrong question.

At the sound of my voice his head jerks up, the sudden movement sloshing water just shy of the lip of the tub. “Santa Claus?” He furrows his eyebrows. He really does look like a puppy.

“You’ve got bubbles,” I gesture to my chin, miming a full beard.

He chuckles, “Oh, yeah, I guess I just got bored and,” he shrugs, “I’ve gotten used to playing with Tate in the bath. You’re lucky I didn’t break out the bubble mohawk.”

“The bubble mohawk?” I giggle, “I don’t know, I think I’d like to see that actually. Just make sure I’ve got a camera on me when you do break it out, yeah?” Lining my “lotions and potions” up on the counter, I look away, still trying to figure out what exactly is going on here, or what Kayce expects me to do, to say.

He must sense my hesitancy because he volunteers, “I hope I got the water hot enough. I know how you women like to scorch your skin off, but I’m afraid I’m just a bit too delicate.” He’s pushed himself into a full sitting position now. The water pools just under his chest and it takes everything in me to meet his eyes.

“So we are taking a bath together then?” I huff. “Because that’s not weird at all.” Still, I move to pull my blouse up and over my head, clipping my hair up so that it no longer hangs down my back. “And if you’re not actively in pain, then no, you don’t have the water hot enough. But that’s alright, I’ll manage.”

Ignoring my comment about the water, his eyebrows furrow once again in confusion. “Why’s it weird? You’re the one that suggested it.”

“No. I didn’t.” I shoot some side eye at him, because who in their right mind would suggest such a thing. Hopping around to remove my socks before balling them up and tossing them into the hall so that they don’t get wet, I continue, “And it’s weird because usually when grown adults take a bath together it’s only because something else is gonna follow.”

Rolling his eyes, he insists, “Yes. You did. You said you normally take a bubble bath for spa nights, so here we are, taking a bubble bath. And it’s not weird. I’m wearing my underwear, and I assumed you’d wear yours too. It’s no different than going swimming together.” He sounds way too exasperated for a conversation that is this stupid.

Remember how I said Kayce and I have never had trouble reading each other? Yeah I take that back. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I sigh, “That was not a suggestion. That was a statement. But thank you for the clarification. Now before I literally die of embarrassment, would you like the lavender hair mask,” I forcefully lift one colorful jar into the air, and then another, “or the apple?”

Looking as fed up as I feel, Kayce responds gruffly, “The lavender.”

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ghostflowerhotpotch · 2 years ago

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Please No!

Oh this part, the amount of times it has gotten me teary eyed, a lot of this will probably be squealing so sorry about that but I am sucker for angst and this movie knows how to hit me.

Before I start crying let's go back for a bit.

The sequence of Miles seeing the future somehow hit him, and I am assuming it was him and only him since the others don't seem disoriented and were kind of behind.

However, all of them saw Miles clearly be shocked by The Spot's words, and honestly I think everyone would had been a bit intimidated after seeing the man basically tear time and space just to say how he will end you.

Gwen quickly goes for him to see that he is okay and that he can get up.

Gwen is calling his name while Hobie is clapping his hands, so I am guessing they both realizing Miles is stunned but physically okay, or as well as any of them are.

I love that Hobie tries to get Miles moving and went with Gwen to check on him, this guy just met Miles, who hasn't been exactly the friendliest to him (not that I think Hobie care, if he ever paid attention to that to begin with.) Yet he still goes and check on him, even if this hasn't been the point when he actively likes Miles.

Miles is disoriented, the world around him sounds distant and how we see from his eyes everything is a bit confusing and difficult to process.

This is probably bias talking but I love how realistic this feels, it reminds me of the times I had gotten so overwhelmed trying to make sense of words is difficult and felt like I barely have time to process what's going on.

Which makes me feel it for Miles while for him it only lasts a few seconds, DAMN I wouldn't like to be feeling that way when I am having rubble falling on me.

As soon as they start running Gwen checks to make sure Miles is following fine, we know she specifically was looking for Miles because Hobie was going in front of her and Gwen went directly to look towards the direction Miles should had been coming. Then she went a step back to grab him.

While this makes sense, considering he was the one who stunted and Gwen probably can hear Pavitr coming slinging; we can't pretend there is no more meaning behind Gwen checking on Miles constantly while going on.

Hobie went to make sure he could get up but after it is Gwen who is making sure he goes out in one piece.

She continues to grab him by the wrist while running (which btw, tip, most of the time that's a bad idea; it works in this context since Miles seems to be still disoriented,)

She tries to guide him amongst the rubble until it starts getting difficult for her too.

Still keeping an eye on him and helping to get him out.

(Sorry for the shake frame, I try 3 times to get one that looked decent and this was the best I could get.)

I couldn't get a good screenshot for it, but after Gwen helps Miles out he is the one who takes the lead getting out of it while still holding her hand.

There are other things to talk about in this sequence, but they aren't really ghostflower stuff, so it would go in their own separate post.

Let's continue to the part that still hurts even after seeing it so many times.

We all know that there was more than once reason why she did this, and let be honest here, I don't think the canon event was the primary concern.

Let me repeat that to make sure no one gets it twisted, maintaining the canon event IS STILL important for Gwen, but I don't think it was the main reason why she was worried about this, and we see it in the next scene.

Not My video, this is a link for the original.

Again I normally try to not use works (gifs, videos,) but there was no amount of screenshoots and words that would make this moment justice.

I feel my heart bleed every time I watch this scene, I can hear the desperation in Gwen's voice and all I can think is how she must be thinking about Peter; how she also lost him when rubble fell on him and she needed to move around to get his body.

I can imagine how absolutely terrifying and heartwrenching this must be for her; she said it before, Miles was her only friend after Peter, and while Hobie and other spideys are important to her, Miles is next level.

And the idea of losing someone that important to you in the same way you already lost someone else- goddammit I am getting teary eyed writing this.

This is why I said her priority was Miles while asking him to not go; because she didn't try to look on her watch or see if the canon event was still intact, I honestly thing she forgot about it until her watch warned her about it.

I could probably go on, but I would be repeating myself; anyone who says Gwen doesn't care about Miles (using what happens later in HQ as proof,) is blind in my opinion.

I had mentioned multiple times about how the masks are meant to be more expressive than what they would normally be to allow the characters to show emotion.

This normally shows by the shape and size of the eyes, but something I picked up while watching this scene again was that Gwen's eyes look really reflective in this scene (more than usual at least,) which is not something you really see in other scenes.

I think this was a way to indicate that Gwen was getting teary-eyed below her masks, which I think would make sense considering that it already sounds like she is ready to cry by her voice.

May be wishful thinking, but I think the way she says "Right" shows my point about not thinking on the canon event the moment she saw the rubble fall down.

For me it the way she says it looks like she just remember about this, and it needed to be her watch telling her in order to do so.

(By the way, we never see any scene with Hobie's watch doing this, it could had been that way because there was no point in doing so; but I wonder if, while being aware of canon events, his watch doesn't report these events because he isn't working full time with Miguel. Or maybe because Miguel doesn't trust him with that information.

I think is around this moment, that Gwen starts to question the canon events situation.

While she technically sided with Miguel later (or at best, stood aside without doing much for any side,) she sees what they just did here, how they had saved a bunch of people and got a happy ending for Pavitr, who if Miles hasn't done anything, will had probably dealt with a lot of trauma and guilt that he didn't deserve.

Sidenote, sadly Miles and Gwen aren't holding hands in this scene, the angle just gives that impression. I wish tho.

In a way, I think this shows what Gwen ultimately thinks about Miles' being an anomaly.

This entire situation is technically, an anomaly in itself, but she is looking at it in awe and shock, soaking at the image of a city that could had faced a worst tragedy hasn't them being here. She saw Gayatri hug her dad, something that wouldn't had been possible without Miles, because he was suppose to die in a event that is also suppose to kill Gwen's dad; I don't think that was something Gwen missed.

She knows Miles is an anomaly, yet she says she has always thought he was amazing.

I think she sees Miles in the same way Peter B does, yes, perhaps Miles situation was an accident, but it was ultimately good that it happened; because he himself is amazing, and he is better thanks to being an anomaly.

I see this scene, and I think of Gwen seeing Miles, while thinking "Perhaps is by being an anomaly, that you get to do the greatest things."

(Yes, I know that's a leap from speculation and into fanficfky territory, I may use that later.)

The Mumbattan scenes are interesting because we see an entire array of emotions coming from Gwen towards Miles. From being exasperated, to not wanting to give him the wrong idea about her and Hobie, to being so worry nothing else in the world matters.

There are still some things to talk about Mumbattan, but it has been mostly covered.

Thanks for reading!

#ghostflower #gwiles #gwen stacy #miles morales #pavitr prabhakar #hobie broen #atsv spoilers #across the spiderverse spoilers #atsv #across the spiderverse #ghostflower files

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years ago

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Hello 👋 I just wanted to ask if it's ok to request and if it is can I ask for an alpha Jason Todd x Omega chubby female reader smut plz. Also I really enjoyed your Mando and Logan story they were really good.

A World of Colours

Alpha!Jason Todd x omega!reader

Jason thought all the good had been drained from the world, but he has been wrong before

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (reader is on bc), Jason has a slight fear of pregnancy, pull-out method

WC: 1k

Minors DNI

When Jason came back from the dead, he thought that everything good in the world died along with him. Everything was bleak and stuck in an eternal grey, the colour drained from his life. He spent his days training, getting bigger and stronger, determined to never be caught off guard again, even by his own family.

He was distrusting, brutish, violent and a borderline feral alpha. Even his own father was terrified of him (not that he would admit it).

So it was quite the shock when, on a surprise visit to his apartment that totally wasn’t to make sure that Jason was still alive, Dick found the place spotless and with the distinctive scent of an omega soaked into every inch of the small studio.

And even more shocking was his little brother standing in the small kitchenette fucking crooning to the plump woman sitting on the counter as he cooked her breakfast. “Did I have a stroke? Am I stroking out? Does anyone smell toast?” Jason rolled his eyes at his older brother and stepped forward as if to shield you.

“Of course you smell toast Dickhead, I’m making some.” Your laugh carried through through the small space like the ringing of bells and Dick watched as Jason’s posture relaxed and his scent became sweet with absolute love.

It was then that Dick noticed both their states of undress (him being just in boxers and her in a shirt that must have been his) and the potent smell of sex. “I think I’m just gonna go.” He started backing out of the room.

“Yeah how about you do that?” You slapped Jason’s shoulder and hissed a “be nice”. Still thoroughly freaked out, Dick increased his pace.

“Just uh, just remember that B wants everyone at dinner this Friday. Bring your girl.” He slammed the front door behind him, fully convinced he was having a very strange dream.

You watched the entryway for a moment before you were distracted by a soft brush of lips against your neck. “Jay.” A moan slipped from you involuntarily as Jason’s huge hands traveled from laying on the countertop to cupping your wide hips, squeezing the already bruised skin.

“Yes princess?” He mouthed at your sensitive mating gland, applied just enough pressure to the raised skin to make your back arch forward with arousal.

“We just had sex ten minutes ago. Haven’t you had enough?” Offended, he pulled away for just a moment to look into your eyes.

“I could never have enough of you, and right now princess, I’m feeling very greedy.” You yelped when suddenly your ass was hanging off the edge of the counter after Jason tugged you forward. There was a dull thud that you knew was the sound of his boxers hitting the old kitchen tile.

The musky smell of tobacco and hot chocolate filled the air as Jason’s eyes got darker with desire and you felt his hard cock against the soft skin of your plump thighs. He was already throbbing, with beads of pre-cum bathing on the uncut head. Slick pooled between your legs in response, your omega perfectly happy at the progress of this morning so far.

Reaching between you, you grasped him tightly and guided him to your entrance. “Go on then, alpha. Sate your hunger.” His massive paws skirted down your body to settle on the small of your back. The tip of his nose brushed against yours in a loving manner.

“Yes, omega.” He answered dutifully and then slammed forward.

“Alpha!” You mewled. Pleasure shot through you with each roll of his hips. “Feel s’good.” The counter dug into your hips as he thrust into you.

“That’s it, that’s my girl.” Even though your love had fucked you mere minutes before, your pussy still burned with the stretch of his cock. The thick ring of muscle of his knot pressed tingly to your already stuffed hole whenever the head of his cock bashed against your cervix.

As you wrapped yourself around him, Jason buried his face into your neck. He covered his teeth with his lips so he could bite down on the spot that would bind you to him forever without actually leaving his mark. But it resulted in the same outcome: your body jerked forward and forced his growing knot inside of you.

“Fuck princess.” He growled against your heated skin. “Gonna make me cum already like some fucking teenager.” Your nails dug into his muscular back as your orgasm grew and grew, spurred on by the way the tick patch of hair at the base of his pelvis hit your clit with every thrust.

“‘M close.” You gasped between desperate moans. Jason groaned into your ear as his muscles tightened with his own end.

“Go on, cum for me. Cum for your alpha and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Yes yes yes!” You clamped down onto him as ecstasy washed over you in a huge wave of pleasure. Your vision whited out but he continued to thrust, needing his release.

“Fuuuuuck!” Ripping himself away from you, he pulled out of your warmth just in time to spill his hot cum onto your plush belly. “Holy shit.”

The massive man slumped into your arms, all the energy suddenly leaving his body. You just chuckled and ran your fingers through his dark hair. “I thought you were gonna make me your twinkie.” You joked, laying a kiss to his head.

He chuckled into your throat, giving you a playful nip. “Couldn’t remember if you took your birth control this morning. Didn’t want to risk it.” Gently cupping his cheek, you guided him up to meet your eyes.

“Jay,” You cooed while debating on bringing up the subject but then quickly decided against it, “Will you at least finish making me breakfast? I’m absolutely starving.” He kissed your cheek.

“Stay right there princess, I’ll take care of you.”

The world used to be black and white to the feared vigilante but with you, it was a world full of colours and he wanted to share it with you.

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sevensoulmates · 9 months ago

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I've never been more convinced then I ever have of Buddie canon and I think we're about to get Buddie canon confirmed in the bachelor party/wedding episode.

I think these 2 episodes, 4 and 5. One told through Buck's the other told through Eddie's are clearly telling a story of two separate queer journeys. One of acceptance(Buck) and the other of repression(Eddie).

I think this episode is going to end with Eddie doubling down on his relationship with Marisol because Buck being bisexual is going to draw feelings inside of Eddie that he is absolutely terrified to explore and he thinks that being with a woman is just going to make those feelings that are getting stronger and stronger for Buck go away, they won't.

Then in episode 6 which is the Bachelor Party/Wedding episode, as Ryan said Eddie is going to let go, have fun and see where it takes him. When Ryan said that I have never been more convinced that something is happening between Buck and Eddie after the bachelor party and it's going to be something very non platonic that will be the reveal that Buddie is canon.

I'm very much inclined to agree with you, especially about episode 4 being Buck's journey of accepting his queerness, and episode 5 being about Eddie's journey of repression. Buck and Eddie have always been narrative parallels on equal and opposite journeys, both heading for the same place but going about it through very different personal arcs.

Like I've said before, I think things are going to get worse for Eddie before they get better. And I think you're so right that episode 5 is going to be things "getting worse" because he's going to double down on Marisol. The more I've been hearing and sussing out with people, it seems like Marisol's sticking around past episode 5 (which sucks, I know! We were all hoping!) but I can see why that choice is being made because unfortunately if we want to explore Eddie's comp-het, then we need a woman around for him to be comp-het with! I think that's likely why they also switched up on Marisol's personal style this season and had her go from tomboyish in s6 to very femme in s7. They needed to represent her being a little bit more of the "perfect woman" for Eddie again a la Ana Flores. Especially in contrast with Buck and Tommy who are very masc-presenting men.

Most of the time when people talk about compulsory heterosexuality in an academic space they are always talking about women because comphet is inherently a byproduct of patriarchy and misogyny. But, as most of us are aware by now, patriarchy has deep-rooted harmful effects on men too. I can't claim to be anywhere near an expert but I would love to see it explored deeper with Eddie given that a lot of his story has also revolved around him deconstructing other aspects of toxic masculinity and hypermasculinity.

Like does Eddie really enjoy going out with Marisol? Or does he like the freeing feeling of being able to cuddle up with a woman in public and know that no one is judging?

There's a lot of academic theory that goes into compulsory heterosexuality but if you look at the "Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc" and apply everything there to Eddie, it's almost point for point him.

Some examples:

[brackets] are me turning "men" to "women" from the original text for clarity

Deciding which [women] to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to –based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities.

I like the idea of being with a [woman], but any time a [woman] makes a move on me I get incredibly uncomfortable.

I do not like the reality of being with [women], only the idea of being with [women].

I like the idea of marrying a [woman]/being in a relationship with a [woman], but I can always pick out a reason to not want to date any [woman] that is interested in me or any [woman] suggested to me

You view relationships with [women] as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal with.

Picking a [girl] at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a [girl] at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch

the [girls] I like are always hyper [feminine] [girl's girls] who embody everything about [womanliness].

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional [women] or [girls] you never or rarely interact with.

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around [women] as attraction to them. Confusing your anxiety around [women] for “butterflies” or being flustered.

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a [woman]

You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a [woman], but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the [girl], feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the [girl] wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with [girls], trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Your relationships with [women] are devoid of passion.

Feeling like you have to have relationships with [women] and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Getting a [girl]friend mostly so other people know you have a [girl]friend and not really being interested in [her] romantically/sexually

Wishing your [girl]friend was more like your [male] friends

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

That got longer than I intended but I wanted it here anyway because it just proves (at least to me) that this is the story they're doing with Eddie. The only ones I didn't include were the parts about sex because other than Shannon we actually haven't seen how Eddie reacts in sexual moments with women.

As for the bachelor party/wedding, I do think a lot is going to happen there, and likely a lot of Buddie clues, big and small, but I still don't think anything physically intimate (kiss, hookup, etc) is going to happen. The only exception might be hand-holding, a hug or like a slow dance. Those I could see being plausible.

#911 abc #911 speculation #eddie diaz #speculation #buddie speculation #buddie #comphet! eddie diaz #this was a lot more than you originally asked for but when my brain starts whirring it can't stop my bad

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rockermazy · 10 months ago

Text

Yay - I get to share my love for tidbit Hazbin lore while sharing knowledge that makes me look like a millennial boomer XD Ahem... Alastor, our favorite overlord, for all intents and purposes, is a fucking elemental. His abilities are absolutely terrifying from a scientific standpoint. Okay, so remember how during the "Stayed Gone" number, Vox starts glitching out and "loses his signal" - then the Pride ring subsequently has a blackout? That is entirely Alastor's (or whatever-the-fuck-is-benefactoring-him's) doing. A powerful enough radio signal can do that. No horseshoe magnet required. IRL real shiz. Despite being digital enough to render a bluescreen while compromised, Vox might still have older hardware from his former days as a rabbit-eared, extra-thick thick cathode-ray tube.

And Alastor is our radio demon. Keep this in mind. IRL, once upon a time during the 1940s - before digital television - there was no "Channel 1". That's because in the US, a very long time ago, both radio and TV shared the band that we call "Channel One":

"Until 1948, Land Mobile Radio and television broadcasters shared the same frequencies, which caused interference. This shared allocation was eventually found to be unworkable, so the FCC reallocated the Channel 1 frequencies for public safety and land mobile use and assigned TV channels 2–13 exclusively to broadcasters. Aside from the shared frequency issue, this part of the VHF band was (and to some extent still is) prone to higher levels of radio-frequency interference (RFI) than even Channel 2 (System M)." (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Channel_1_(North_American_TV))

Then for a short stint, Channel One was exclusively reserved for radio:

Channel 1 was allocated at 44–50 MHz between 1937 and 1940. Visual and aural carrier frequencies within the channel fluctuated with changes in overall TV broadcast standards prior to the establishment of permanent standards by the National Television Systems Committee. In 1940, the FCC reassigned 42–50 MHz to the FM broadcast band. Television's channel 1 frequency range was moved to 50–56 MHz. Experimental television stations in New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles were affected. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Channel_1_(North_American_TV))

Every local TV channel and radio station has a frequency range on the electromagnetic spectrum. For those who still listen to radio on non-internet-reliant radios devices, those funny little numbers next to a station's name are a ballpark number for the frequency the station broadcasts in the Hertz unit. A Hertz (Hz) is one wave per second. A KiloHertz (KHz) is 1,000 waves per second. A GigaHertz (GHz) is 1 billion waves per second. Modern AM radio stations are 535-1605 kHz Modern FM radio stations are 88-108 MHz TV VHF Channels 2 thru 13 are 54-216 MHz TV UHF Channels 14 thru 36 are 470-608 MHz And no, that's not a discrepancy between VHF and FM radio: the frequencies designated for FM radio are nestled right in there with TV ones - between Channels 6 and 7.

(chart from http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/Audio/radio.html) Even today, radio and TV are slightly shuffled in there in regards to designated frequencies. This implies that depending on Alastor's band of preference, if Vox still has some of his older hardware, Vox could, in his sleep, theoretically be able to hear Alastor's broadcasts of screaming victims without a physical radio nearby. IRL in fact, in older televisions where a knob is used to change channels, much of the static you'd hear in-between channels is actually background radiation from deep space - along with any radio interference from man-made sources nearby. No wonder Vox is obsessed with Alastor. Alastor can torment him in an in-between realm-channel daily, like Freddy Kruger.

Yet, if radio signals were only a Vox problem, why did nearly every light and electronic device go out in the Pride except the emergency lights at the Heaven embassy?

It might depend on how we define the word "radio". Is it radio, as in "those radio stations we can listen to without the internet"? Maybe radio, as in "any frequency utilized in modern communications, including TV and Radio"? Or is it radio, as in "almost any signal on the electromagnetic spectrum with a frequency lower than friggin' heat?" People, below is an IRL over-simplified chart of the electromagnetic spectrum and its usages by human.

When radio is defined as a specific part of the electromagnetic spectrum, it is basically any frequency below infrared. *** Cellphone service and WiFi use radio signals within this range. Most cellular services are between 600 MHz and 39 GHz WiFi routers are about 2.4-5 GHz (6 GHz in newer models) That's where the "G" in "4G" and "5G" come from - the "G" stands for "Gigahertz" Radio, local television, cellphone service, WiFi, and basically any point in the internet that isn't linked by a landline - these are all safely within the part of the electromagnetic spectrum that the scientists would call "radio". If Hell's technology is supposed to mirror the real world, then most electronic devices need radio frequencies in order to communicate. The VVV's empire is truly fucked, should Alastor so choose. The only plot hole in this explanation I see is why all the lights went out. These devices don't run on radio - they communicate using it. My best-educated guess is that the on/off switch for Hell's power grid is on an open network and at least part of it wireless. Or maybe Alastor's radio attack works like a general EMP and he can just break stuff by "brute force". (I am not an expert on these sorts of things like telecommunication... or network security... or physics.... I politely ask that someone in the comments, please enlighten me U.U ) ------------------------------------- Also, notice that Alastor's Tower, Cannibal Town and the Heaven Embassy were the only regions with lights on during the blackout.

is that...?

Cannibal Town?

If this is, in fact, Cannibal Town, then my only guess is that the Cannibals are so hipster, many of them only light their homes and businesses with candlelight and leviathan whale oil. Neither candlelight nor oil-burning rely on wifi. Only some of their region's light was lost in the blackout. They might use some electricity (as many during the Victorian era did, which Cannibal Town seems to be inspired by), but they don't fully rely upon electricity. This suggests that Alastors friendship with Rosie might be less of an organic friendship and more like a strategically slick alliance. Rosie's territory is one part of Pride that Alastor can't completely shut down (other than the Embassy). But, who knows?

Alastor's derision of modern tech now seems to have more merit than just being "hipster", or avoiding leaving a digital footprint that Vox can manipulate, (the latter of which I once head-canoned before this epiphany). Alastor can literally just shut most of Hell's tech down. This might also suggest why Alastor is homies with Zestial - another known old-timey prick.

Alastor makes alliances with demons he can't easily overpower with his abilities. This might seem self-contradictory to Alastor's seeming over-confidence in teasing Lucifer - until you realize he did this only after he learned angels could be killed during the Overlords' meeting. (And yes, I know what I wrote about Alastor a couple of tumbl notes back with the "popsicle" evaluation. I do not consider flip-flopping a moral issue if done so by epiphany. That note stays, because it's funny XD ) ----------------------- Another theory! Ok, so this theory isn't entirely my own-own, I'm just building off of it based on what I've just said (mostly Roo stuff). So IRL, scientists decided to take an image of the observable universe in the microwave range. Microwave energy is in the upper ends of radio, but just below infrared in frequency. What they found was cosmic background radiation - a lot of energy that isn't coming from the stars themselves.

(Image source: https://www.space.com/33892-cosmic-microwave-background.html) Some scientists theorize this is because this particular energy is left over from the formation of the universe. So about Roo:

In the first non-pilot episode, The Story of Hell, as read by Charlie, states that the angels of pure light "worshipped good and shielded all from evil." During this line, imagery of two faces are shown before the angels: one face of light and another face of twisted red and black.

Subsequent lines and imagery in the episode suggest that this "evil" existed before Lucifer fell or Eve allowed this evil to enter the world - even before the Earth was created. Some Tumblrs who have been in this fandom longer than I have may know of Roo, a character that appears in some of VivziePop's older works within the Hazbin/Hellaverse. Some of Roo's monikers include "The Root of All Evil" and the "Tree of Knowledge". I'm wondering if in the Hellaverse, the cosmic background radiation of the universe is a manifestation of Roo when she isn't bound to a tree. Could Alastor's radio powers come Roo, the background "dark" energy of the universe's birth? Did Alastor bite the apple the second third time for mankind? XD

------------------------------------------------- While researching for this paper, I learned that microwave ovens and 2G cell phones operate within the same frequencies at around 2 GHz. Apparently, the only reason cell phones don't cook our brains is because the wattage is too low. (I dunno what wattage means. I'm not a scientist.) But now, Alastors singing lines in S1E8 had me thinking: "The constraints of my deal surely have a back door Once I figure out how to unclip my wings, guess who will be pulling all the strings" Knowing what Alastor is capable of with radio, this has me wondering if Alastor's radio powers are coming from one source, all while be is being chained by another entity entirely. Someone might have gone out of their way to get Alastor into a contract - if only to keep him from literally baking the universe for his viewing pleasure... on a rotating glass plate.

Being able to cook a soul in microwaves would require that they be at least partially made of water, however. Buuuut... I guess if there are working ACs in Hell, I really shouldn't read too much into it XD -------------

Do you think the mad scientists from Helluva Boss, Lyle Lipton and Loopty Goopty, ever chat over coffee about the abilities of the overlords based on casual observation?

One day, Alastor's name comes up... ...and after four minutes of discussing facts over coffee, they're both just like "Nope"?

XD {END} *** Note: Googling "Electromagnetic Spectrum charts" will yield different results. Some charts will have different designations frequencies lower than radio, like Extremely Low Frequencies (ELF). I do not know whether this difference is a reflection of a newer categorization, or if most charts online are made for laymen such as myself. Most charts I saw years ago only designated "radio" as "everything below microwave". I want to assume that the "only radio below microwave" categorization went into the writer's designing of Alastor's character simply because such charts are more common (while also making for a more interesting power scaling).

______________ Disclaimer: I am composed of chauffeur knowledge. I know nearly nothing about communication science little about radiation stuff. I took an astronomy elective in college once, so I sorta knew where to look when it came to frequency stuff. I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about. I know that I confused frequency and wavelength somewhere. Please, #sciencesideoftumblr feel free to correct me. ----------------- TLDR: Most tech IRL uses radio waves to communicate. That Includes TVs, WiFi and cell phones. Alastor can make the Pride Ring go kaploowee if he looks at it funny. I don't know what he's cooking.

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colourstreakgryffin · 1 year ago

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Ngl this is my first time requesting so I’m kinda nervous

ANWYAYS

could I maybe request a (or any Hashira/character of ur choice :3) Gyomei xchild!reader?

Gyomei(or like I said , any character of ur choice idk ) comforting reader during a thunderstorm?

SORRY IF THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE ENGLISH ISNT MY FIRST LANGUAGE :((

(also I don’t mind if you don’t do this request :3, remember to take care of Urself!)

Oh holy shit. Ofc I am gonna write Gyomei, Gyomei is literally the best dad out there so I will write him comforting child us in a thunderstorm! :D

Himejima Gyomei- Typoon Shelter

“I know it’s loud… but it won’t hurt you” Your beloved adoptive father, Gyomei’s loving yet powerful voice weaved through like silk as he brushed a big but somehow comforting hand past your hair as you land flat on his lap. From thigh-to-thigh, you took up the whole space and Gyomei could have you on his lap in this fashion without you spilling off onto the ground, thanks to his enormous size

Gyomei was awoken by your hysterical crying and it sent him to spiral of alerted thinking, charging through his Estate’s hallways with his weapon and guards all the way up in preparation to crush in the demon but no. You weren’t being attacked by a demon unjustly, you were squeaking in horror at… the sounds of the thunderstorm

Now, that makes a lot more sense than he had ever suspected… you’re always safe from demons but the weather is blaring and irritating

Gyomei had dropped his weapon instantly and approached you, brushing a hand over your back softly to pick you up and lay in his lap, flash forward to the current state with your lovely father patting your head and back, showing zero signs of exhaustion despite both of you being up so early in the morning.

He didn’t even care how early it may be. He only cares to make his beloved child sleep peacefully so it doesn’t matter how many hours it takes to put you to sleep again as he continued to stroke your hair in a calm and calculated pattern, slightly massaging your skull with skilful fingers. You’re so precious…

Your terrified hiccups and sobs died out throughout the minutes Gyomei stayed still with you propped up in his lap and his hands comfortingly stroking your body as to truly sign to you he will always be around to protect you. From absolutely anything that scares you and you always knew that

Gyomei nursed you everytime you had even so much as a bleeding scratch, Gyomei always helped you get through the foods you didn’t like. He is so soft and gentle, you love him so much

As you felt your exhaustion kick in with your intense fear over the thunderstorm fading alongside the booming strikes of thunder, Gyomei couldn’t help but smile at you as he picked you up from laying down to prop up on his chest and cuddled him. He didn’t need to be able to see you to know you’re such a cutie. You felt even more safe and comforted in your father’s huge warm arms…

“Don’t worry, my precious. That storm nor anything in this world, will ever do anything to you… I promise”

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kalims · 2 years ago

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˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "what are you willing to do? oh tell me what you're willing to do."

I would,

premise. in which it's the things he's willing to do.

parts. one , two

characters. rook, cater, ruggie, lilia, epel and kalim.

contents. scenario, fluff, crack, comfort, teaspoon of angst in lilia,

includes. gender neutral reader, sebek x gn!reader (platonic) in lilia's.

cw. mentions of nudity (not what you think it is I swear)

note. not proofread, but read clarifications please thank you!! it's to clear up general idea's of the scenarios

I know most of lilia's part is sebek but I hope you know the whole point of it

my unofficial 'I am back' post

rook hunt

I would be your number one fan.

who the hell thought it would be a good idea for you to be the main character in the play?

oh wait.

that's right it's freaking vil. the worst part? it's VIL and no matter how much you resent the idea, you can't exactly deny vil all in his glory when he asks you because either way he's gonna strike you down with one look alone.

well at the very least if vil insisted you be the main lead out of... over 300 students in the school he must really be striving for success. if he wasn't he wouldn't be so lenient.

now you get why epel is both terrified and irritated at vil.

you were getting starved! (which is in fact, not true but you swear your stomach is still empty and lonely after one meal full of vegetables) maybe you don't mind veggies, maybe you do. but heck.. you enjoy those delicious, savory food once in a while.

you huff, panting as you kneel over. this was absolute hell. if you knew your character liked to apparently 'test their speed with horses' literally everyday you wouldn't have taken the spot. really though who even enjoys that?!

the play took place in an older era, where high society and such was a thing. typical main lead is outcasted yadda yadda.

you wipe the sweat off your brow and sweatdrop. "bonjour! you look positively sparkling!" a bottle of water is promptly shoved in your face, but even with the sudden intrusion of space you pay it no heed. after all water had never looked so enticing before.

though sparkling? you'd rather use the word 'hot and sweaty'. if anyone was sparkling it'd be rook. "I'm more stinky than sparkling." you can't say you enjoy the feeling of sweat on your skin.

even at your little joke his smile doesn't falter, rather it widens through the crinkle of his eyes. "you are still beautiful in my eyes, trésor"

you raise a brow at his casual compliment.

"I don't see how you'd like me racing with horses." it is rather ungrateful, you'd expect a character like yours to be on the horse, not running alongside it! magically out of nowhere rook pulls out a handkerchief which you gratefully accept.

your nose catches a whiff of the scent. wow, it smells like rook. too bad it's getting sacrificed for the better good. you think, patting down your forehead in the way vil taught you.

cause apparently just dragging it across your skin wasn't as good as patting it. though you won't question the unusual languange.

rook seemed to find your comment humorous as he laughed. "whatever you'll do. I will always admire!" well gods. his smile was contagious cause you found yourself mirroring his look. rook looks pleased with the upturn of your lips.

he catches a hold on your shoulders. "perhaps this is merely stage fright. first time, no? do not fret! I will be cheering for you if it makes you feel better."

your face twists into that of doubt. "um.. rook I love you but that seems.." embarrassing? you'd got your own share of people yelling out your name in a cheer. especially your family at an event you were featured in.

the experience wasn't that nice. it's not that you hate it, but something about it is like a thorn in your mind.

rook tilts his head. "nonsense, trésor. I will show everyone how nice your performance is, they deserve to know!" he proclaims.

oh no no no—

you chant in your head, frantically running around rook and attempting to stop him from giving you an example. just the first shout attracted the attention of your other co-workers.. "ROOK—"

"let them hear the depths of my love!"

ㅤ

cater diamond

I would be present.

cater is observant.

his ability to sway nearly every conversation to his favor is partially due to his ability to pick out the opposing person, be it a nervous twitch when the conversation tilts to a subject. or the gleeful shine in their eyes.

he can tell, especially you.

sure. he might've known you less compared to his friends but it feels like he can tell everything about you.

it does feel like a crush at first, he's questioning himself whether his feelings are actually romantic or not. borderline gaslighting himself that it's not even when he tries everything to impress you.

'you're just a friend' he tells himself but he's testing out the tricks social media told him to. holding eye contact when he can't even contain his heart.. amongst other things it's his favorite.

cause he can see your eyes, and at times you look away. clearly embarrassed by the contact.

"how's my favorite person doing?" cater slides in. seemingly out of nowhere, slinging a casual arm around your shoulder while keeping you close.

seriously. the occurrence had happened to often you had grown to find the little shoulder sling present in your everyday.

technically you are his favorite person but no matter how much he says so you just don't believe it.

you roll your eyes but can't keep the smile off your face, despite the clear look of exhaustion on your face. "just peachy. don't you have class right now?"

as far as you were aware. the time period between classes were alternating. it was the students that had to move between rooms to attend their class.

cater shrugs. "we were excused for club practice. it just ended, so I thought; why not see how you're doing?" he explains. pinching your cheek out of the simple urge and grinning when you grunt and slap his hand away.

as far as he can tell. you are definitely not feeling peachy, the bags under your eyes. more prominent than ever, or the unkempt appearance that both vil and riddle would practically strangle you for speaks volume.

"I'm fine."

cater knows that look all too well.

he tightens his grip on your shoulder and practically pushes you to his side, not really forceful. his eyes soften the littlest bit.

whatever vulnerability cater had shown for a little quickly disappeared as he simply smiles, perhaps less bright than his usual but it was.. something.

closer than you've ever been cater leans in, in a voice you've never heard. it's quiet, and gentle. "well. if you ever aren't come talk to me, okay?"

you still at the sudden warmth that jolts in your heart. "okay.."

ruggie bucchi

I would give you the tastiest piece

"—can you believe it?" ruggie huffs. words coming out in mumbles due to the amount of donuts he'd eaten in a single minute. it seemed that a mouth full of his favorite treats isn't gonna stop him from telling you all about leona's recent orders for him.

you absent-mindedly swirl your drink with a straw. "totally."

it was like, it goes in one ear and out to another. it does feel a little horrible to ignore something someone's talking about, especially if that person is someone you like! the only reason you were listening is cause you liked his voice.

you did get the gist of it though. it seemed like leona was in a bad mood nowadays, which meant ruggie had to take most of it by the increasing amount of errands leona had him run.

leona in a bad mood = ruggie's now more broken sleep.

as the resident ruggie stan you didn’t really mind him leeching off the salary you'd gotten for crowley. a few madol isn't gonna hurt your savings, plus. it's not like you haven't bought a few treats for yourself previously in the past.

you leave out the part that you like seeing his delighted face.

you did sneak a few glances by the plate almost finished by ruggie in a mere few minutes. you, by no means spent cheap money on it. for the guy you liked you'd probably buy anything he'd like (within reason) and then 'fall short' if ace asks you to buy him food.

it looked scrumptious in all honesty but from the look of ruggie's face and the assumption that he won't stop any time soon prompted you to shut your mouth and just enjoy him enjoying the donuts.

"thanks a lot for this. you know just how to cheer up an exhausted hyena up." ruggie laughs under his breath. sending you a rare look of appreciation that has you cracking a smile.

proudly, you nod. "of course. anything for you."

you wince. maybe that was too bold, but then again. it didn't seem to faze ruggie in the slightest.

after a period of silence, not exactly awkward in the slightest but rather comforting. no words needed to be said, you liked that, ruggie liked it as well. he casts you a peek.

"I can see you ogling at it. you look like me when I look at the donuts."

you frown. "no I don't.. I am not, ogling at your food."

ruggie shakes his head but there is a trace of a smile in his face. "I might be eating a lot right now but I can't leave you out of it can I? you gave it to me." ruggie says, pausing to look at you before continuing, "it's our food,"

to seemingly show you that it's 'ours' ruggie takes out the final donut in the plate and hands it to you with a grin. "I saved the best for last, here. open your mouth." he urges, threatening to squash it right in your face if you didn't with fast motions.

you sigh. he's just taunting you at this point. and, as far as you can tell that's his favorite flavor.

"but that's your favorite." you point out but ruggie's grin only seemed to spread across his face wider.

he shakes a finger in your face. "nope. correction, you're my favorite now eat up!"

you were too flustered to rebel against it.

ㅤ

lilia vanrouge

I would love with you

"aren't they simply adorable?" lilia raises one finger to point at the duo that.. didn't really seem all to adorable to you.

you sweatdrop. "uh.. yeah.. totally cute." it's not like you were gonna say outright: those are two men who are battling each other, definitely doesn't look cute to me. more like horrifying. to lilia out of all people! if silver and sebek are anything to him it'd be babies.

he beams.

it's safe to say it positively breaks down your entire body to skip a beat of your heart.

earlier the afternoon lilia had graciously extended an invitation to his dorm. something about bonding and since you're incredibly down bad, of course you wasted no time fretting over yourself as you trudged towards the mirror with barely contained excitement.

while sebek did pick you up (courtesy of lilia) you're sure he knew why you were barely able to keep yourself on your toes, hence surprising why he didn't bother to comment in it.

most probably something about the audacity of humans and defending himself if you pointed it out.

you aren't sure of the details which is admittedly kind of idiotic but did you really care? no.

but did you expect to spend your afternoon quite literally babysitting two grown men with the man you can call your yearning? quite a suprise and one you can't say you welcome.

when you accepted the invitation you didn't spend hours picking out articles of clothing and practically thrashing your wardrobe trying to make a 'casual' outfit that would appease to his eyes just to waste it on.. watching two grown men live their own lives!

frankly it's frustrating. it's endearing that lilia had his family in mind every step of the way but all the more irritating. and you don't even mean the part where he had his family in mind.

you just wish he'd realize they aren't the boys he used to baby before.

after god knows when, you watch lilia enter mother hen mode when silver fell down from his sitting-sleeping position. lilia gently lowering himself to adjust silver's position.

you look down.

and god did you feel awful for invalidating his love for family (kind of) it was too presumptuous of you to assume that you'd ever fit in it anyways.

oh well. you shrug. at the very least you were able to bear witness to it.

call it a sixth sense but you can tell sebek is right beside you. he huffs. "you, are a pitiful human." he says casually. the words are awfully mean, but you sense no particular ill intent from the boy.

instead you find it quite amusing. so you laugh quietly under your breath. "so I've been told." you can't use your fingers to count the amount of times sebek had called you that.

you both just stay like that. in silence, surprisingly no quips from sebek's mouth.

till he turns to you.

"the way you look at fathe—master lilia. you are being a coward by not telling him."

"I'm fine with that, there are things better left unsaid."

sebek stares at you. as in, stares real hard. the kind of look you'd see with someone who was feeling a mixture of confusion and frustration.

he opens his mouth as if to say something.

your own gaze lands on a poorly wrapped bandage around his arm. you raise your brows and gesture, "enough talk about me. what is that?"

great seven.. sebek had hoped you wouldn't see that, even so. he didn't pick you out as someone to care anyways (not that he wanted you to) it's just bizarre in itself.

at the mentioned he grunts and looks away. "it is merely a scratch!" he huffs. looking forward aggressively as if to try and hide away the sweat in his forehead. you roll your eyes.

it is a scratch but also not one? sebek and only noticed the blood down his arm when he was in the restroom. it seemed like silver had managed to nick him.

"sit."

"human! you are not—"

"sit."

sebek grumbles but sits down anyways. once again surprising you with his obliged silence as he waits for you to return with a new roll of bandages. the boy can feel the searing embarassment of getting treated by a human by all things!

"my my, seems like silver did a number on you did he?"

lilia chuckles deeply. sending the boy a look which sets off a fire within. sebek immediately opens his mouth to defend himself, while you. busy yourself with wrapping it around tight, but loose enough not hurt.

"silver is lucky to have done it that's all!"

you laugh.

sebek snaps his gaze to you. "what are you laughing about, human?! your way is that of a parent and I don't appreciated you flocking me." he grits out. possibly not realizing the extent of his words till he spots the look of rare suprise in lilia's face.

his face mirrors yours, but yours is definitely coated with embarrassment.

lilia giggles, a fond glance he gives you sends thousand butterflies in your stomach. "parent eh? I didn't know you yearned for another parent my dear sebek. if you wanted two that can be arranged fufufu.."

arranged?!

ㅤ

epel felmier

I would do the craziest thing with you

while you did have your own fair share of being in trouble plenty of times (a good amount stems from being with ace and deuce) you aren't sure if the potential consequences of this one can top any of them.

you squat outside the window of vil's room, which could be considered a violation of privacy if your intention was to break in this room.

right. your eyes slide to your left. in a similar position, epel sits beside you. hugging his legs to his chest looking oddly innocent for someone whose idea was to do this in the first place.

in hindsight you can call it epel's master plan to get a week with vil off his back.

apparently his master plan included adding paint to vil's shampoo, an atrocious color of bright violet. and yes, you were both on the roof. probably looking creepy as fuck to anyone else but you merely prayed that no one would look up.

"are you sure this is safe?"

"it is."

one peek down there made you question his sincerity, either he wasn't worried about falling off or was just too into waiting for vil to get out the shower.

speaking of, "what if he comes out naked?! I don't wanna see that.." you groan. shivering by the mere thought and even epel grimaced when you mentioned it.

"uh.. I hope he won't..?" so we're basing the possibilities out of your hope? great. you think grimly. you really think this is a bad idea, horrible really. but if it's epel you'll do it.

now I know what the 'in the name of love' shit they were talking about. you deadpan.

the more you stare down the more it seems horrifying to just drop down. epel huffs at you, clearly noticing your frantic eyes. "don't look down." he says, and you do just that. the problem is now you can't stop thinking about it. there isn't even a railing to stop you if you slip.

"what if I fall?"

"I'll catch you."

oh shit.

your heart rate speeds up immediately as you lower your eyes, trying your hardest to act casual.

"... with what your tiny, noodle arms?"

epel's face scrunched up at that. he casts you a glare but you know there's no malice in it whatsoever. it's become normal at this point, picking at each other. (of which you thoroughly enjoy)

he crossed his arms. "it's not—! agh whatever!" epel fumes. smacking your arm playfully as you feign a groan of pain. "my arms are manly and strong!"

you looked at him then at his arm before grinning. epel makes a look of offense.

both of you burst into a fit of giggles right after and you never thought he could look any more beautiful with crinkled eyes and a wide smile on his face.

though the moment of felt joy was hushed upon the shrill scream that definitely belonged to vil. of course, it was manly but nevertheless unable to mask the terror in it.

that was like an omen for punishment and revenge. you cover your mouth and look at epel with wide eyes.

he looks at you as well but you can tell he's holding in the cackles.

in all fairness it wouldn't have been too bad if epel used the shade of purple vil had on the tips of his hair. but this one? it's literally a bright neon that will burn your eyes for life.

you can't give yourself the moment to feel warm at your shoulders bumping, too wrapped into muffling the giggles that would definitely wake up the entirety of pomefiore from their beauty sleep.

you and epel are practically gripping each other for life, shoulders shaking in wheezes. midst that, you both failed to hear the rustle over your heads.

"my my, my ears have not decieved me! I know two love birds singing when I hear it."

"OH MY F—"

the laughing immediately seizes as you both look up at rook hovering over the two of you, donning an amused smile.

you sigh. "oh shit."

ㅤ

kalim al asim

I would give it to you

kalim is by no means rich.

he's loaded.

since the day he was born even his room as a child cost more than the monthly expense of a citizen, toys handcrafted by the most talented, a blanket soft and crocheted with the most expensive of silk.

an entire vault filled with treasures, gems, things made entirely out of gold. at some point he leaves them untouched, swimming in it out of boredom.

even scarabia wasn't exempted from his touch of gold.

you could say he doesn't know how to live other than luxuriously.

it sounds bad. he knows, but for the entirety of his life it's all he's ever known. and kalim isn't really one to break out of a habit that's been going on for so long.

nor does he see any bad in it. out of the goodness of his heart he merely thinks he's rewarding you with the things you deserve.

last week a whole lot of tuna was sent to your dorm. it was definitely the work of grim, and you imagine the little feline brought up your name in a conversation with kalim. the boy didn't have a second thought before he took out the money that didn't make a scratch in his account.

while you would have wondered who sent the shit ton that would last grim a good year it was prominent that it was kalim from the exaggerated words of happiness in the gift card, filled with little doodles. (you assume he couldn't help himself)

you make a mental note to limit the interactions between kalim and grim.

the second time it was purely out of coincidence. a mistake on your part, if you'd like to say.

off handedly you'd mentioned to kalim that if someone were to ever give you something on valentines, you'd rather it be one that's beneficial to you. a practical gift. but since it was the day of expressing love you settled for the classic choice of flowers.

everyone loves flowers!

but you didn't expect to step into the cafeteria with your friends and immediately get slapped by a straw flower that apparently sprouted wings and flew (a joke of course) but you like to think that it had something out for you.

deuce's jaw drops at the amount of wildlife around the wide room. there's flowers everywhere and in the sole center was kalim sheepishly scratching his cheek.

"oops."

you just stared around, gobsmacked and flabbergasted. "what.. in the holy name of—" you trail off.

beside you. ace grimaces, slapping away a flower that fell in slow motion beside his face. then dragging a palm across his face. "all of this and he says.. oops?" he groans.

after picking up his jaw from the floor deuce nods hesitantly. "yeah, isn't this a bit much?"

as flattered you were. it really was.

on one, sunny, hot day you invited kalim for a walk around scarabia. beyond the dorm, away from all the glamorous things.

kalim didn't complain one bit and went along without much fuss, happily even if you might add.

the sun shines down at you harshly. the weather in the desert here sure is unrelenting. you wipe the sweat off your forehead. feeling the crunch of the sand beneath your feet.

the boy isn't too far behind you, taking animatedly as you nod along.

"that reminds me! your birthday is coming up." at that, your eyebrows raise. you still can't keep the heartwarming smile off your face at the mere fact that he knows, and remembers.

you smile at him kindly. kalim flushes at the beam. "where did you hear that from?" you question absent-mindedly enjoying the walk despite the great struggle the heat brought you.

because goddamn was it hot in here!

kalim falls into step beside you. "I asked the grandmaster for it."

more like basically forced. but he doesn't know that.

he continues, "what would you like? anything you want! I'll give it to you." kalim grins. there's no doubt whatever he's saying is nothing but the truth, he has the power to get anything you ask.

you feel embarrassed at the thought that clouds your mind. one word.

you.

at your silence kalim tilts his head. "what's the matter? if you need more time to think it's alright!" he reaches out and clasps your hands together, further flustering you.

you gulp. "I just... I really want you, you and your heart." you slap yourself on the head in your mind cause god did that sound cliche.

you tense at the frozen kalim. only staying still when he breaks into this, love struck, goofy grin and giggles. he all but practically throws himself onto you in a tight embrace.

"you already do!"

ㅤ

clarifications

I've been practically dead but don't blame me I've been stressed & sick fr

after this I'm probably gonna be dead again BYE HOMIES

anyways for cater's part it's him basically being there for mc, like not just present but there.. yknow... idk if you get what I'm saying LOL

so like picture this, you're going thru a hard time and there's a shoulder to lean on which is cater. WHICH I ALSO REALIZED OMG HE DID GAVE US A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON LITERALLY WKAJSKJA

B4 you say lilia's part didn't even include the whole romance thing I just thought it'd be sweet if I incorporated his lil' family in it

so while you might not think it's a lilia x reader it really is, I'm just showing the parts that'll get lilia to love you. especially if you're doting on his babies!!

ngl reader in lilia's... I lowkey thought they were a grandma when I was building their character

'I would love with you' is loosely based off two parents loving their children lmao idk what I'm saying. anyways j hope you spotted it, lilia taking care of silver + you taking care of sebek = loving them (platonically)

draft for epel's was actually like. since rook appeared out of nowhere I wanted reader to be startled and slip off, epel actually saving them just like he said. (with his noodle arms.) you're free to imagine it! but if you do wanna see me write that just hit me up in my inbox and I'll write an alternative scenario 🤫

785 notes · View notes

fishsticksloser · 1 year ago

Note

Hiya!! 🌙⭐ Space anon here! I got inspired by lil 🐺 anon and I wanted to request theirs but the opposite! Basically someone who looks like a cinnamon roll but will destroy you and your ego in 5 minutes or less if you do anything to tick them off !

Ofc you don't have to, have a wonderful day you awesome human being!!!

(If you did this already oh em gee I am so sorry)

Looks Like a Cinnamon Roll...

RotTMNT & Casey x gn!reader

Warnings: aged up, slight mention violence (like the busting of kneecaps)

A/N: This was requested by 4 people at very different times... The other requests will be at the end. :) My first hc with Casey... Woo!

Donnie

Loves your sweet exterior

But he loves your violent, daring personality

You 2 protect each other

He knows very well that you pack quite the punch

As he's accidently scared you a few times (man can literally teleport I swear)

Never again

He is a little scared of you

The first time you showed him how violent you could be

♡_♡

Both of you were pretty similar in that sense

Absolutely will help you beat the crap out of someone

We all know he's not against hurting someone to get what he wants

Leo

You're so cute and sweet to him

Then he saw how quickly you'd fight to protect your loved ones

or when someone insulted you

That was not the plot twist he imagined

Still absolutely enamored by you

Training buddies

Honestly he's never been more terrified than the first time you showed that side of you

But let's be real

He can get like that sometimes too

Mikey

Every underestimates the 2 of you

Both of you so sweet and kind...

Remember S1 Ep 11B? "Pizza Pit"?

Mikey definitely has a violent side

So he doesn't mind that you can be violent

Of course, Mikey prefers a more relaxed style

And always sees the good in people, but when he's really upset

You 2 are a force to be reconned with

Raph

Everyone is always scared of him

He's huge and an alligator snapping turtle

Which means his jaw strength is even stronger than a normal turtle... Which is terrifying

But who they should really worry about is you

Sure you look sweet and cute on the outside

But Raph has seen what you're capable of and knows to stay clear

He will try to get people to take back what they said/did so they didn't have to face you

It rarely works

Casey Jr.

Literal definition of this boy

He may look sweet, but he will absolutely bust kneecaps

He grew up during the apocalypse, fighting is what he's done his whole life

But he's really sweet any time there's no danger

So when you're the same way?

He doesn't even seem to notice

If you ever ask for help beating someone up, he's there

He'll help train you too

He wants to make sure you'll be safe no matter what.

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gabriel-xander · 3 months ago

Text

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

14: Bone Pun Number 69

♪⁠────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

Papyrus.

Bless his soul.

As joyful and wholesome his aura immediately is…

He's tall and he's terrifying.

Just like Sans (perhaps arguably worse), Papyrus is a bone-ified skeleton straight down to the bone.

Oh, God. Nearly two hours with Sans has corrupted you so easily. Your humor usually involves verbally shit-posting, sex jokes, and saying the randomest shit just to see what happens. Wait, that’s technically shit-posting.

ANYWAY.

Papyrus is as tall as the damn door, and unlike Sans, his eye-sockets are a solid black with no hit of eye-lights. He is lot spookier than the Comic, and it breaks your heart that you feel this way about him because you love this (not so) little man.

You unwillingly tense up, “I…. Hello.”

Sans snorts. That was the exact same opening you gave him.

“GREETINGS, HU—AHEM! I MEAN, GREETINGS INDIVIDUAL OF WHO I DO NOT KNOW THE IMMEDIATE SPECIES OF.”

Okay, how are Sans and Papyrus doing that? You just feel it in your soul that Sans speaks in all lowercase, and while Papyrus is loud, he isn’t yelling. BUT YOU JUST KNOW HE’S SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS????

“WELL, DON’T STAND OUT HERE ALL DAY, WE HAVE AN INTRODUCTION TO DO.”

Papyrus reaches for you and first-you feel a strange tug at your soul. The taller skeleton puts his hands on the sides of your lower waist and you know what he’s about to do. Strangely, you don’t feel much in danger that he’d drop you. But you instinctively go to grab his gloved wrists when his hands are touching you.

It was as if your soul was being literally (not figuratively or metaphorically) lifted up as Papyrus thought it was a great idea to pick you up.

“Woah!”

[Whether it was because of your bigger body / Even though you were rather small / Despite that you’re sure you’re pretty average for your age], you think he’s using his magic to aid in lifting you up to ensure he doesn’t drop you no matter what. Probably because you knew Papyrus doesn’t do anything with malice, but you don’t panic as he just—takes you inside the house.

Sans, on the other hand, was nervous as fuck. He didn’t expect Papyrus to invade your space like that and fucking pick you up. He was so ready to intervene (either for your sake or his brother’s), but then you grab onto Papyrus’ wrists.

And that’s it.

You stare at his brother with wide eyes, and while you are tense, you’re not panicking or thrashing around. Just like in those fairy-tales he reads to his younger brother, Papyrus lifts you up easily and brings you inside (careful to make sure not to hit your head on the door frame) with a small, happy twirl. He sets you down on your feet in the middle of their living room, not letting you go until he’s absolutely certain you're on steady feet.

Sans sighs quietly in relief, closing the door behind himself to watch how this all unfolds. So far, so good.

Since you’re still holding onto Papyrus’ wrists, he does a quick maneuver to grab your hands and shake them both very eagerly.

“IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU, HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF,” The happy monster lets you go and poses heroically. Wait—How is his cape drifting in the wind without any wind? Is he using his magic? “I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, FUTURE MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD, AND UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE!”

Putting your hands together and holding them over your smile, you nod along to his words as all previous fear just melts away.

“I WOULD LIKE TO PERSONALLY AND WARMLY WELCOME YOU TO OUR HOME. MY OLDER BROTHER, SANS, HAS TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCE AND WHY YOU WILL BE LIVING WITH US FOR A WHILE. HOWEVER!!”

Papyrus puffs out his chest, putting his gloved hands (that look like… soft boxing glove?) on his hips. Pelvic bones? Whatever, hips.

“WORRY NOT. SANS AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GREAT—AND SAFE—TIME HERE IN SNOWDIN!”

“Wow…” You slowly nod your head, “You… are so cool!!”

The tall skeleton sputters at your sincerity, his cheekbones gaining that red hue. Finally, his eye-lights appear to give him that puppy look you see in the game.

“WHA-YOU—REALLY?!”

“Yeah, of course!” This time, you take Papyrus’ hands and energetically shake them, “I really can’t thank you both enough for taking me in, especially since it might be a little risky for housing a human. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for helping me.”

“SANS,” Papyrus looks at his brother with a big (toothy) smile, “THE HUMAN… IS SO NICE!!”

Sans, who was watching from in front of the door, winks while shrugging his hands, “guess we really lucked out, huh?”

“My name is [Y/n], by the way,” You try not to take the comment personally, letting go of the younger brother’s hands, “It would be best to avoid calling me “the human.” We don’t want anyone finding out.”

“[Y/N], THEN? YES, THAT IS AN EXCELLENT NAME FOR YOU.”

”Thanks, I picked it out myself.”

You look into the camera with a knowing look.

“by the way, bro,” Sans decides now to properly join the conversation, “we should probably talk about some house rules over dinner. living with a new person is gonna take some getting used to, especially since it’s just been me ‘n you for the longest time.”

The other perks up, “YES, YOU ARE RIGHT, SANS. NOTHING BETTER TO DISCUSS A LONG-TERM SLEEPOVER THAN OVER SOME OF WELL-CRAFTED SPAGHETTI.”

Uh oh. You’ve only read about the legends, but to actually get the chance to eat some of Papyrus’ spaghetti? Let’s just say you’re lucky that it’s going to be made of magic/the same components of other monster food. Because these bitches most likely don’t have toilets either.

“WHY DON’T YOU SHOW THE HU-ERM, SHOW [Y/N] WERE THE WASHROOM IS WHILE I SERVE US ALL A PLATE?”

“you got it, bro.”

You lock eyes with the older skeleton, catching him as he jerks his head for you to follow him. You drape your shawl neatly over the couch’s arm rest as you pass by it. The house is bigger on the inside than you thought. Being inside, you realize that they don’t actually have much in here. You’re walking up the stairs behind Sans when he speaks to you in a very hushed voice.

“just a heads up, papyrus’ food is…” Sans grimaces, “slowly becoming more edible. i’ll do my best to help you out, but all i ask is that you just pretend it’s good, okay?”

You frown a bit, “Oh, uh…. Okay. But… why not tell him the truth?”

You both reach the second floor. On the left is Papyrus’ room. The door is decorated with a stop sign, fake police tape, a few red stickers, and a note that says the following.

“KEEP OUT OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE SUPREME SPAGHETTORE EXECUTIONER!!”

How cute! Down the right are actually three doors. The door on the right wall was one you never saw in the game, so you can only assume it leads to the balcony. The second furthest with fire and dancing lights seeping underneath is Sans’, but the middle one is unfamiliar to you. It’s the same mahogany door as the other two. Instead of having the huge classic bone painting, it’s been reduced in size and hangs off a nail that’s been hammered into the door.

Is that the washroom??

Sans turns around to look at you with a weak smile, “after meeting him, can you really tell me that you can just say the truth to his face and break his heart?”

Well… Yes, actually. You 100% can. You’ve done it to Elliot and your brother’s before, and you can do it again. Yes, it can be hard because you don’t want to be the person who has to hurt their feelings, but…

You can’t lie to someone just to protect their feelings. It’s things like that that makes the other person even more fragile to criticism. Not only that, but when it comes to people you care about (Papyrus falls into that category already) you have too much respect for them to just lie to them.

But you really don’t want to start shit on your first day and make Sans hate you. Later though, when you and Papyrus are actually proper friends, you’ll tell him. You don't like straight up lying though since it can easily be used against you, so you suppose you can lie through omission instead.

For now, you just sigh, “I understand what you’re trying to say. Um, if that’s the case, how about we bring out that pie Toriel made? Maybe we can use it to cover up that we’re not eating his creepy pasta.”

Sans’s smile relaxes, “heh, yeah, good idea. go wash up first. i’ll have your suitcase downstairs by the couch. i don’t wanna go through your stuff.”

“Sounds good. Is…” You point to the furthest right room, “that a washroom?”

“close. middle door is the one. that one is my room.”

You start walking to the middle door, “Ooh, how ominous. Meet you downstairs, then.”

“yep.”

Their washroom is… messy in an organized way. Sticky notes plastered on the mirror with basic reminders such as: “brush your teeth” and “shave.”

???

Shave what??

There are two sides of the bathtub, too. One side has a shower rack with various shampoos, conditioners, body soaps, loofahs, and nearly all of it looks to be brand new.

The other side of the tub has a 13 in 1 bottle.

You fucking swear. If that one belongs to Sans-

You absolutely believe that Papyrus would use so many products though, but does he really need all of that? Slay, you guess. They don’t have ANY bar soap—both for their hands and for body wash. You guess it makes sense since it might get caught in their joints and be harder to wash out.

When you pump some of their hand soap, the scent of spaghetti wafts through the air.

…

You don’t know how to feel about that.

As you’re washing your hands, you take a moment to check your reflection. Wow, you’re a little messy but that’s to be expected after the journey it took to get here. Your hair is a bit out of place, there’s a smudge of dirt on your face, and there’s still some snow on your dress. Why hasn’t it melted yet? Is the snow magic, too?

You dry your hands and clean up in other places as well.Your face, your hair, your dress. You only spend a minute or so to clean up, leaving the bathroom and starting going back down stairs. Already you see your suitcase by the side of the couch. You wonder where the hell Sans was keeping it this whole time.

You get on both knees by your suitcase and set it down properly to open it. You smile seeing that your things look well kept and in place. The pie also looks well intact with the whip cream only slightly smudged from being inside the clear container. You put the pie on the small table with the Quantum Physics joke book and zip your case back up. You sigh and put your hands on your lap, thinking when would be the best time to call Toriel to let her know you made it safely.

You hear someone walk towards you, so you look up with a polite little smile.

“how’s the weather down there?” Sans asks.

“Colder than the devil’s taint-”

“pfft!”

“-thanks for asking, though.”

He clears his throat (somehow), “if you’re ready, then-”

“-Actually,” You stand up and straighten your dress, “do you mind if I step out for a minute? I gotta make a phone call to Toriel and let her know I’m alive and not missing a leg.”

“huh? sure, go ahead. if it tickles your funny bone, you can go to the balcony instead so you’re not seen by everyone in town.”

“Awesome,” You pick up the pie and hand it to him, “Here ya go, bone boy. One Butterscotch Cinnamon pie made by Toriel.”

His permanent smile grows when he takes it, “ah, i’ll never get tired of eating these.”

…Was that another slip up? Sans realizes this too immediately and tenses up. You’ll let it go this time, but why are you catching this guy slipping?

“Oh, you guys made one before?” You ask with a smile, “They’re surprisingly easy to make, so maybe we can bake another in the future.”

“y-yeah, definitely.” He clears his throat again and jerks his head towards the stairs, “you better get going. papyrus is really excited for you to try some spaghetti.”

“Right, right, right.”

Showing your own brand of Mercy, you quickly drop the topic and rush back up the stairs to get to the balcony. Sans sighs out all his built up tension when you’re out the door. That was way too close and the funny thing is? He’s 90% sure that you knew, but chose to stay quiet for his sake. Sans isn’t usually this sloppy he swears, but being that you are a new addition to his monotonous life, it’s only natural that he’s thrown off his game.

He looks down at the pie in his hands. Sans meant it though, he’ll never get tired of these pies. He knows they’re not easy to make though. In one of the few, rare timelines where the monsters are freed and Frisk doesn’t Reset in months, he helped Toriel bake a Butterscotch Cinnamon pie.

Safe to say, it was a fucking disaster that got him banned from the kitchen.

Sans tightens his grip on the pie ever so slightly.

You know something, don’t you?

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

#fanfiction #reader insert #female reader #don't forget fanfiction #sans undertale #sans x reader #undertale #sans #papyrus #papyrus undertale

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08melancholie · 3 months ago

Text

Untouched. — Micah/Reader

tags: Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Gentle Sex, Mild Hurt/Comfort, always have to include some angst sorry guys, Porn with Feelings, Angst and Porn, Emotional Porn, Blood, Porn with minimal Plot, Angst with a Happy Ending, Guilt, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Vaginal Sex, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Aftercare, Female Honorifics/Terms, Not Beta Read, no beta we die like Micah Bell, Established Relationship

summary: Virginity and sex have been a pretty taboo topic between you and your lover, Micah. You've been together a long time now and he's started initiating intimacy almost every night. But you were too scared, of the way the other girls described losing their innocences. So you turned it down every time. Finally, after realising how unfair you were being to Micah, you cave in, one fortunate night—surely, Micah will take care of you? It probably would have been smart to ask if the two of you both lost your virginities, first.

a/n: another micah fic to heal my unresolved trauma.. mmmmm yes. do u guys like your h/c with your smut or am i alone on this..

warnings: loss of virginity

words: 3,514 | AO3 LINK

You always heard that it hurt, stung and bled a lot. It made you afraid, that much was sure. What made it worse was how much Micah wanted it—he hinted at it every night when in bed with you. So many nights in which he'd do everything he needed to, hoping that you'd finally give in and finally sleep with him. But no; every night, you chickened out. All of the other girls had told their experiences, most of them sounding absolutely terrifying—some of them saying they were crying, even. It was horrific, and it scared you away from ever even wanting to lose your virginity.

But your lover never seemed to complain. Micah was quite understanding, even if he was unaware you were still untouched.

Another night approaches the two of you, hidden away from everyone inside Micah's tent. You're both already in your sleepwear, your back pressed to Micah's chest with his arm lazily slung around your abdomen. His face is buried into the crook of your neck, the exact space where the shoulder ends and extends to the neck. His breaths are slow and calm, but the energy feels weird. His actions feel a little reluctant, which you learned was usually an implication that he wants to ask something. So, you gently took his hand and squeezed to get his attention.

"Hm.?" He glanced at you from over your shoulder, groggily humming while fluttering his eyes open to see you in the dimly lit tent.

You slowly turned yourself around, wanting to look him in the eyes while you talked of this. "Something on your mind?" You feel his arm, on your back now that you turned over, tighten slightly—meaning you were right.

Micah was quiet for a moment, contemplating his answer while his hand went from lazily hanging into your body to holding it more firmly. "Just.. 'bout us." He mumbles his answer, partially scared to even bring this up. "I know.. you always say no to it. But, I would really like to show you.. my love in every way I can." His palm slowly moves around your lower back, caressing it through your thin nightwear in a circular motion.

You dreaded just talking about it, all your fear coming right back to you. You didn't want blood, tears, stinging and hurt. You didn't want that, not with your lover. "I know..." Your fear always got in the way before, that feeling of agony whenever this and any similar topic were brought up in conversation. Being the only person in camp still with your virginity, the girls who knew teased you relentlessly—don't even get started on the men. Alas, tonight felt a little different; you felt for Micah. He's been begging you for... months. It's all he's wanted from you for endless weeks, and he's been doing anything and everything to get you to agree. Micah has been so good to you, and yet you turn him down every time. It was pity you felt now, more than fear. And so, you prepare yourself to either make the best or the worst decision of your life. "I think.. tonight wouldn't be so bad." And there it is, finally out of your mouth.

You see Micah's darkened face lift to you, barely able to see you, but he's unmoving and just staring ahead at your face. After a moment, you hear him briefly and quietly chuckle. "Attagirl! I knew you'd come around, baby!" He's excited, like a child getting their favourite toy from the store, which makes this worth it no matter the experience. His arm tightens around you and he wastes no time scooting closer, giving you many reassuring and rewarding kisses and pecks on the lips, which you all return. His hand on your lower back is still massaging your back, but is now traveling lower, hovering over your rear. He brings his other hand into play, placing it on the back of your head and gently grabbing you by the hair, starting to deepen the kiss. At least you knew how to make out with him, thank God.

His hand finally reached your backside, and he gave it an experimental knead to hear your reaction—loving how you squeaked into his mouth at the sudden contact. So, he continued to massage your ass while deepening the kiss, his tongue finding itself exploring your mouth, not one singular crevice left untouched by your lover. You could feel yourself getting more hot, gradually. It was really happening. You had that same fear in the back of your head still, but it was overpowered by the lust slowly creeping up your body and down between your legs. "Let's do this right, hm?" Micah parts from your mouth and stops kneading at you, patting your rear before standing off the cot to light a lantern. He wanted to see you while he finally had you. "Lay on yer back for me, sweet thin'."

You do as he says—he's definitely the expert here—and shift from your side to your back, watching as he starts stripping off his shirt. The grey undershirt finds itself on the floor, and he gets back to the bed, this time climbing over you. It's a sight, seriously.

"Liking what you're finally seein', eh babydoll?" He lets out a brief chuckle before leaning back down to continue making out, one hand on your cheek and the other on your knee. His fingers are tinging, practically desperate to touch you, and it just sends more heat to your core and dampness to your underwear. He starts to slowly move his hand down, devilishly slowly. Your hands wrapped around his neck to pull him closer, and he started gently biting your lip. His hand slowly moved lower, soon enough finding itself on your inner thigh just under your chemise. "Let's see," he brushes over your clothed sex, finding you wet already and making you sigh into his mouth. It boosts his ego and he can't stop a small exhaled laugh leaving him. "damn, lookat'chu. Already so wet fer me?" He drawls, pulling away from your mouth to give you a breather. He fiddles with the hem of your undergarments, just barely sliding his fingers under it. "How about we get this off next?"

Your panties get tossed onto his shirt, and you feel very nude despite the chemise covering you perfectly fine. He's rightfully impatient to have you, and immediately swipes a finger through your folds to slick his finger up, the other hand fumbling with his jean zipper and button. It's happening. His slicked-up finger pressed to your entrance, slowly pushing itself inside as you mewled underneath him, just turning him more on with how responsive you were. "There we go," he pulls his jeans down while slowly entering and leaving your walls, fucking you with one finger. It's pure bliss; you're gasping at every thrust and curl of his finger, despite knowing what's coming every time. Then, he adds another digit. You moan, pleasure mixes with a small stinging, but it's soon drowned out by pleasure as Micah uses two fingers on your cunt, and starts rubbing circles into your nub with his thumb. "Shit, girl, you're tight." He comments, feeling how you clench around his digits and how hard it is to ease them in. He curls and scissors them inside you, more of your moans filling the tent. You look down at him as he slowly pulls his coated fingers out, seeing him kick his jeans off and pull his drawers down. It's actually happening.

He's fully nude now, crawling to your knees and beckoning you to sit up. You comply and he grabs the hem of your chemise, quickly removing it off your now bare body and throwing it to the other discarded clothing of yours. Both of you, nude as the day you were born. "You don't even know how purty 'ya are," He shimmies back onto the bed, looking down at you for a moment. "turn around, on your hands and knees." The command feeds into the fire in your abdomen, feeling butterflies practically attacking it. You roll over in compliance, lifting you hips up. You hear the cot creak quietly before his hands find your hips. It's finally happening. You cling to the pillow that the lower half of your face is buried into, grabbing fistfuls of the plush material to brace yourself. Good that you did. Micah—still unaware—doesn't even try to wait, and with no warm-up thrusts, he lines himself up.

The way the pillow muffles out the sound that escapes you, a pained and squeaky yelp, makes Micah unaware of the fact you're hurting. He's pushing himself in further, and you're gripping onto the pillow for dear life. The other girls were right—it burns, stings and you can't even move your body in protest. "Damn, girl.. still so tight?" Micah murmurs, but something just feels odd—even more so when he feels you start shaking. Tears have begun seeping out of your eyes, like the girls said they might. The pillow is absorbing every little drop, but it's your body that betrays you as you start shaking, and it all goes to shit. "Hey—honey, 'ya good.?" Micah leans over your back slightly, and seeing as he gets no response other than a muffled sob, he withdraws himself out of you, earning another yelp from you. And, that's when he sees it.

His tip is red, covered in both your slick and blood. He feels his body stiffen as he looks down at it, then at your bleeding sex. He's not a fool or an idiot; he knows exactly what it all means. "Jesus fucking Christ.." Micah instantly gets off of the cot, picking his jeans and undergarments off the floor. He doesn't even bother to wipe his shaft—now soft, from the realisation of the horrific situation he's put you in—before he tucks himself away, just staring at your weeping form as you shake. It takes him a moment to break out of it, but he's instantly coming over to comfort you as he does. "My God, I am.. so sorry, my sweet girl." He coos, walking to your side of the bed and gently rubbing your head, his palm caressing you as his fingers tangle in your hair. "I am a moron.. I never noticed or.. even asked—God, babydoll..." He curses himself mentally, the sounds of your crying fogging his brain completely.

You slowly sit up on the cot, with slight issue, wiping your face dry. "No.. I should have told you—it's why I never.." Micah nods and cuts you off with a "I know" as he extends his arms, his stomach churning at the sight of you like this. You don't need another word from him before you crawl over and fall into his arms, emotions higher than usual. Your tears overtake you again, and you're weeping into his shoulder while hugging him impossibly close. And so, It happened.

You always imagined your first time would be this.. fairy-tale moment you read about in books, but it was so much worse. Micah is cooing quiet reassurances into your ear, and you're crying into his shoulder as you're still bleeding down under. This, it was the opposite of what you read about—it was so much worse. "I'm sorry.. I ruined this for us." You mumbled against his skin, your words barely coherent.

"No—No, don't even say that." Micah practically scolds you, not even wanting to hear about any of that. "You didn't do anything, 'ya hear? I should have known.. or at least asked." He huffs and brings his head into your hair, sighing shakily against it. "So sorry, babygirl. I would have been.. so much gentler, if I knew." His voice is quiet and soft—highly uncharacteristic, but you like it, in a way. You just hug tighter to him, feeling a drop of your blood ooze down your thigh.

Once you two finally compose each other, Micah makes you take a seat on the cot. "I'm gonna take care of 'ya, doll. That okay?" You nod before he walks over to another corner of the tent, getting out a clean rag he keeps about before returning. He kneels before you, placing his free hand on your thigh. "Spread them," he can barely look when you comply to his command, seeing the blood again. He pushed his own feelings aside—you're doing much worse than he is—and gently parts your thighs some more before bringing the rag to your bloody mound, very carefully wiping you clean. You gasp a few times as the rough rag brushes over you, but bite your lip to keep quiet. Once he's done with you, he kisses your inner thigh and murmurs another apology before standing and turning away from you, unzipping himself free and wipe off what was on his shaft from before.

You're looking up at the back of his head; you feel guilty, terrifying him this way after you finally gave in to the one thing he was missing from you. "Micah.." He tosses the rag and hides himself back into his jeans, turning around to the sound of your voice addressing him. "I.. I don't want this to end."

Micah creases a brow at your statement, a tad confused. "Baby, we won't do anything you—" "I want to, Micah You cut him off, wanting him to understand, so badly. "You said you could.. be more gentle, right.?" Micah silently nodded, ready to hear you out. You look up into his eyes—guilt-ridden like your own, somber and hurt. Finally, after a long pause of melancholic eye-contact, you speak. "Can you show me?"

Silence fills the tent, and Micah can't find it in him to respond right away. He stares down at you sitting there, face ridden with dried tears and your body still nude. Even after he's hurt you, made you sob and weep and shiver—you'll still try to make it work. He's in awe with you, really. So many nights he spent wishing you'd let him in, let him show you love in the most intimate of ways he knows of, just for it to go so south. Alas, you're still willing; willing to try, for him.

The pause between you is hellishly long, so long you even start to feel a bit nervous. Micah breaks up the silence after what feels like years. "Are you sure, baby?" And as you silently nod, it's all he needs to hear. "I'll do this right, show 'ya how nice it can be." He steps up to you, kneeling before you once again. Micah's hands part your thighs, happy to see you not bleeding any longer. "You trust me?" He looks up at you from between your thighs—a sight you could get used to—as he asks. And you nod again; you do trust him, with your life.

Your wordless nod is enough for him, coaxing you to lay back with one hand on your stomach while rubbing and slowly parting your thigh some more. "I'm gonna take good care of 'ya, hm? You gonna let me, dollface?" Of course you'll let him; you couldn't find it in you to decline him even if you wanted to. Which you absolutely don't. You lean down but keep yourself held up to watch him. "Good," Where he would usually tease or prolong the process, he can't do it to you after what just happened. "did you like how I did it previously?" One quick glance and a nod from you before he lifts his hand off your stomach and slicks him thumb up on his tongue, pressing it to your clit and circling it around.

If he could, he'd get the sweet sounds of pleasure you let out on a record and play it on Dutch's gramophone every damn second of the day.

You're gasping and sighing, looking down at his moving digit over your sensitive nub with hazy eyes, your lips slightly parted the entire time. He's drinking it all in, your sounds and expressions as he works up the wetness between your walls again. You mewl his name a few times, and it instantly un-softens him. "Damn, baby.." He looks mesmerised with you, staring at you like you're the most beautiful thing to grace the planet; which, to him, you most certainly are. After he deems it long enough, he slows down his thumb, not stopping but still moving at a reasonable pace for you to meet him back on earth and in the tent from wherever the blissful experience took you. "Okay, I'm gonna start with one, is that alright with you, princess?" You simply nod, watching him show you his index finger. With your silent consent, he rubs around your entrance briefly before slowly sliding it in, making you gasp briefly but enjoyably. He slowly curls and thrusts it out and back in, repeating the process a few times before looking back up at you. "And, how many do you want me to stop at?" He asks his question carefully, waiting on your response. You contemplate your limit and decide on stopping at three for today, and he nods. "Let's see how that feels for you, hm?" He makes sure to slowly coax the second digit into you, watching your face—both for any discomfort and to see your pleasured facial expression. You sigh, fluttering your eyes closed and clenching around him, which he just gives a faint smile to. "I'mma go real slow, baby," He slides both fingers halfway and curls them, making you breathily moan and clutch onto the sheets. He withdraws them to the very fingertips, then pushes back in a bit more quickly, slowly and surely getting you used to the feeling. Soon enough, you're clenching tightly around three fingers, shuddering and groaning breathily.

"That's it, pretty girl." He's praising you all throughout the process, he's gentle and showing you he cares—that he loves you. He's doing exactly what he planned out; showing you his love in the most intimate way he knows to. He draws his three digits fully into you, a nice curl against your walls that makes you lean your head back slightly. "Heh, 'ya think that's good?" He keeps them inside you a brief moment longer before fully pulling out, giving your sweet juices a taste. You watch him pop his digits between his lips, practically sucking your slick out of his skin. You watch in awe.

He's quick to pop them out of his mouth, chuckling lightly at your reaction to it. "I got somethin' even better for 'ya, darlin'." He drawls, wasting no time in returning his thumb to your bundle of nerves. When you assume that's all, he still manages to surprise you.

Your head rolls back when his tongue enters your cunt, fucking into it. It's quick and repetitive, almost making your head spin from pleasure. You hadn't experienced something like it yet, and you just want more. You grip the sheets and lean back, spreading your legs more. Micah gives you a little hum, patting your thigh as praise with his free hand. Then, he grips it and places your leg on his shoulder, diving back in. This position is all the better—he's brushing all the right spots inside you, making you whine and squirm—and you feel the heat in your stomach rise with every thrust of his tongue to your walls. You let him know of this, and he hums into your cunt, which makes you squeak out another moan. This man...

It's not long before you arch off of the cot and squeeze your thighs slightly, your orgasm meeting you. Micah just continues to eat you out, his moustache getting soaked with the juices of your high. He stops when your legs un-squeeze and let go of him, moving his head away from between your thighs. His lips are glistening, and he comes up to give you a taste of yourself, stealing a long kiss from you while rubbing your outer thigh comfortingly. "Did so good, my girl." He breaks the kiss to grab the rag and wipe off the space between your thighs, affectionately kissing your neck and shoulder while he does so, slowly and enjoyably. Taking care of you how you imagined him to.

When he finishes, he helps get you back into your nightwear. "Next time you want to try, I'm makin' sure we're both ready," He lays himself behind you after blowing the lantern out, like you were before tonight escalated. "and I'll make it an experience you won't forget, babydoll." He kisses the nape of your neck, brushing his moustache over your bare skin while rubbing your abdomen lovingly, showering you in the comfort and praise you knew would come out of him one day.

You trust his words; you know he'll make you enjoy it one day.

Kudos on AO3 always appreciated! I finally finished this fic after putting it off for weeks.. thank you very much for reading it!

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