#i both like and dislike the thought of being spoken about without being there to hear it

[salsflore]

[slxtslovebambi]

Bodyguard 💋

Toji Fushiguro x Fem!reader | MDNI

"C’mon princess, use your big girl words. I know you can… where’d that smart mouth go huh?"

Synopsis: You’re a famous model and Toji is your bodyguard who used to be a MMA Fighter.

Warnings: SMUTTY! Power imbalance (physically), power play, fingering, nipple play (reader has pierced nipples), usage of the word 'cunt', slight breeding?, no protection

Wc: 3,3k

Being a model was always stressful for you.

Since your first shoot as a teenager you never got to stay anywhere for a long time and the diets your personal trainer put you on were brutal. Now you’re 22, still young and still just as pretty as you were when you started in the industry.

"Y/n ’m not gonna say it again, put your damn phone away 'n answer me���" Your bodyguard Toji speaks with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face as he pushes the button to the elevator. His black shirt is hugging his muscles and the scar on his lips slightly shrinks because of the frown planted onto his lips.

"What?" You look up from your phone and walk inside the elevator once the door opens.

Toji follows you quickly and first presses one of the elevator button to close the doors and then the one to your penthouse.

"What do you mean 'What'?! Why’d you change my schedule without tellin' me? That was my shift tomorrow, I was assigned to you!"

It’s not easy for Toji to not raise his voice at you, but the thought of you going anywhere alone was ridiculous to him. He’s clearly aware of the fact that you’re somewhat of an authoritative person to him, but he’s not fully willing to accept that yet.

"I wanted Kento for tomorrow…" You shrug.

"Nanami?!" He looks stunned at you, not understanding how you could replace him with someone he thought was the most bland and stuck up guy he ever met.

"Yes, it’s just for one day. You work too much overtime anyways." The bell chimes to signal the elevator has arrived and the doors of the elevator open wide. You and Toji both walk out, heading to your door when suddenly he slightly pulls you back by your upper arm.

"Why would you give my shift to Nanami? I never said I wanted to work less." Toji's voice is calm but very strict. He’s looking directly into your eyes, making sure you understand that he’s genuinely upset about this.

"I have a red carpet event tomorrow..." You’re not intimidated by Toji, you’d never be but you don’t like when he’s grabbing you like that. It’s just reminding you of the fact that he’s much stronger compared to you. You know he used to be a professional MMA fighter and you enjoy asking him questions about his former occupation but having him display his power over you is probably what you disliked the most.

"So? I don’t mind goin' to a red carpet with you." Toji genuinely looks confused by now.

"It’s not one of those events. I want Kento to go with me cause he’s a bit more suitable, that’s it."

You don’t care that your response sounded slightly dismissive since you were never scared to challenge Toji anyways.

He lets out an offended scoff at your comment.

"You think he’s more suitable than me? What’s that supposed to mean? I ain’t good enough to do my own goddamn job no more just cause I don’t got a stick up my ass, is that what you’re implying?!" He crosses his arms again, giving you another small glare.

"That’s not what I’m saying Toji, but this is a really big event and you don’t even wear suits…"

Your voice is slightly quieter than before, you still know there’s nothing to be scared of cause Toji would never do anything to you, but you don’t appreciate his sudden change in tone.

"Oh yeah? What do you think I am, some caveman? I can put on a suit and wear a tie if that’s what you want!" Obviously Toji noticed your reaction to him raising his voice a bit, so he quickly makes sure to be more soft spoken with you. His grip around your upper arm loosens and wanders up to your shoulder where his hand rests while his thumb slowly rubs your soft skin.

"You wanna tell me you’ll slick your hair back, wear a tie and let my make up team cover your scar?" You ask skeptically as you get the key to your door and unlock it.

"My scar?" Toji ask’s flabbergasted.

You nod as you walk inside and let him follow you in.

"What’s wrong with my scar?"

It’s not like he was ever insecure about any scars on his body, not even the one on his face but you implying he needed to cover it to be suitable didn’t sit right with him.

"Nothings wrong with it…"

You take off your jacket and throw it on the coat hanger next to the door, leaving you in your tight fitting top.

"I just don’t want them to think anything."

You say before taking your heels off ass well.

Toji would like to protest against your suggestion but he can't help but admire your figure for a moment, his eyes quickly trailing over your body, pausing briefly at your pierced nipples poking through your top before returning to your face.

"'m not trying to argue with you y/n."

He lets out a deep sigh.

"We’re not arguing Toji, I’m just asking you if you’re willing to do what I ask you for. I can always ask Kento." You say.

Despite the fact that you weren’t born rich and you like to believe that you’re quite humble you still show a bit of attitude sometimes.

Toji can do nothing but raise an eyebrow at you.

"Alright, I’ll cover my scar as well…"

He gives in.

"Good, you can go ahead and finish work for today then." A tired yawn slips of your lips.

"You just got home and you’re already trying to kick me out before I even get the chance to make sure you eat?" Toji lets out an amused snort at your comment.

"It’s not your job to watch me eat.."

At this point you’re just tired and ready to take a shower and go to bed.

"My job is looking out for you, no matter where. And when I think of the bullshit your personal trainer is puttin' you on, I think it’s better to keep an eye on your diet."

Toji chuckles.

"You don’t know anything about diets Toji…"

It’s not like you’re trying to provoke him on purpose, but it’s not just him that had a long day. You never liked explaining yourself or justifying your actions, unfortunately with Toji by your side that’s something you have to do a lot.

"I don’t know anything about diets? Sweetheart I had to maintain my body mass for years straight back when I was fighting, I think I know a lot more about dieting and nutrition than you do. So do me a favor and go eat something, yeah?" He gives you a slight pat on your lower back as you sigh and make your way over to the kitchen, thinking that giving in might be the only way he’s going to stop bothering you.

"You wanna eat something too?"

You ask Toji when opening your fridge.

You can hear him humming deeply before also walking into the kitchen and standing right behind you.

"No thank you… "

Both of his hands make their way to your shoulder before slowly dragging his warm palms down your skin. He’s gently rubbing over your upper arms while you look at the mostly old things in your half empty fridge. You really should’ve thought of sending someone grocery shopping for this week.

"You’re really cold doll…" Toji says, not happy about the observation he just made.

"I don’t feel cold." You shrug.

"Are you sure?" His hands travel to your ribs.

"Mhm.." you hum as you go reach for the bowl with the leftover fruit salad from the night before.

"What’s that? Don’t you want a sandwich or something?" He looks at the bowl skeptically.

"I don’t even have bread here Toji."

Your eyes roll yet again almost automatically.

"And thats the best you could find?"

He lifts you up and sits you down right on the kitchen island before getting a fork and handing it to you.

"I’ll leave once you’re finished."

He says as he leans against the sink across from you.

"You don’t have to." You mumble while carefully picking all the strawberries in bowl first since they were your favorite.

"I don’t have to? Five minutes ago you were practically beggin' for me to go home."

He snorts and looks at you with a small smirk.

"I was just mad cause you were pissing me off.."

You continue eating. You usually never minded any of your bodyguards being around you but Toji had a tendency of getting on your nerves.

It always seemed like he couldn’t accept that he won’t be able to always be in control.

"I was huh?" He chuckles. "Let’s hope you’ll still be able to sleep tonight." He says sarcastically.

His hand gently brushes some of your hair out off your face before gently grabbing your jaw and rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

Your eyes naturally look directly back at him, hesitating before removing his hand from your face, making him chuckle.

"I’ll be fine, let’s hope you don’t lose your job though." You answer just as snarky as he did.

"Is that a threat?" His smirk widens and his eyebrow rises quickly.

"You like testing me, don’t you?"

Toji leans in just slightly, his voice a low and steady.

Your breath hitches just for a second, but you quickly recover, poking him in his stomach with your right index finger.

Toji gently removes your hand from his stomach and laughs as he places it in the middle of his chest, putting his hand right over it to secure it.

"You think way too highly of yourself."

You shake your head in disbelief with a light smile on your lips, trying to pull your hand back to reach for the fork but Toji's grip is too tight.

Your heart skips a beat as his hand holds yours in place, but you keep your expression neutral, refusing to let him see the effect it’s having on you.

"Y’know what, maybe you should go home now."

You chuckle.

"'s too late for that now brat. You know what’s comin' now."

Toji’s eyes linger over your figure, a sly grin spreading across his face as he chuckles again.

"Nuh-uh.." you shake your head, trying to push him back with the hand that’s resting on his chest as he uses the hand that isn’t holding yours in place to wrap it around your waist.

He slips a finger between the soft fabric of your top and your warm skin, making your top lift slightly.

"What’s wrong princess? You don’t wanna play anymore?" He challenges you, letting go of your hand to wrap his other hand around your waist as well.

"You didn’t think all that teasing wouldn’t do anythin' to me now did you?"

He continues lifting your shirt, leaving you too stunned to speak. The palms of your hands are getting warmer and warmer and despite only you noticing it, you’re heart beat is starting to get faster as well.

Your breath stops for a second when he pulls your top right over your head and leaves you topless. Toji couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your pierced nipples hardening once they were exposed to the cold air.

"That’s a pretty girl."

He grins. As a model getting called pretty is like calling a bodybuilder strong or a scientist smart. It’s something that occurs often and usually it’s what people tell you when they first meet you, yet it feels like a genuine compliment coming from Toji. You can’t help but stare directly in his face, still silenced by his sudden actions.

Once realization hits you, you try to cover you chest but Toji quickly puts your arms back down.

"You don’t wanna let me see you?" He says in an almost mocking tone, slightly pouting with the same look on his face that he uses to make fun of you when you’re mad at him.

"C’mon princess, use your big girl words. I know you can… where’d that smart mouth go huh?"

His hands rest on your thighs, slowly making their way to the hem of your mini skirt.

"Toji…" Is all you manage to say in a quiet unsure tone before wrapping your arms around his neck.

You’d be lying if you said that Toji and you weren’t always dancing around that fine line of work and personal relationship, but despite some wandering hands here and there or a few flirty remarks on the side you never thought he’d take it this far.

It was easy to tell that you were attracted to Toji to say the least, but you still told everyone including your manager that you had no interest in him whatsoever.

Toji softly kisses your forehead as he spreads your legs further apart and lifts your skirt.

He smiles warmly at you as he traces around the hem of your panties before pushing the fabric to the side and gently rubbing his warm thumb against your clit.

Your body instantly reacts by flinching at the intense feeling, making Toji chuckle.

"It’s okay sweetheart, relax." He whispers, moving the other hand up to your still hardened nipples before tugging one.

His other hand keeps moving his thumb against your now swollen clit, making you grip harder into his shoulder.

As your core slowly begins to get wet he uses his index and middle finger to press against your entrance, leaving you gasping once he enters you.

"Atta girl." He looks proudly at you.

You use both of your hands to support your weight by leaning onto your palms and tilting your head back.

Toji slowly begins kissing your neck with both of his fingers still pushed deep into your cunt and his other hand toying with your nipple.

He trails his kisses further down to your chest before latching onto the other one, gently wrapping his tongue around it.

You can’t help but want more, you just need to feel more of him. You unconsciously start moving your hips more towards his hand in hopes of getting to feel more of his fingers but Toji quickly catches on to that.

He lightly catches your nipple between his teeth, making you stop your movements as he gives it a last rub with the tip of his tongue before letting go of it.

You whine when he stops, clearly not happy about his sudden halt.

"You want more princess?"

He grins, feeling you suck his fingers greedily deeper into you.

You nod at his question, sitting up straight to look at him and rub against the bulge in his pants.

"Say it.." He looks at you with a dead serious face.

"Huh?" You look confused back at him.

"If you want it so bad, then say it. Say that you want my dick, right here and right now."

He smirks.

"I’m not saying that." You refuse to participate in his power play, clearly just a weak attempt at an ego boost.

"Fine, as you wish." He shrugs before pulling both of his fingers out of you.

You gasp slightly at the sudden feeling of emptiness, still clenching around nothing.

"Noo, Toji!"

You’re surprised by how whiny your voice just got, but even more bothered at the stunt he just pulled.

"C’mon y/n 'm not stupid… you’re drippin' wet and you’re sitting here with your nipples all puffy, yet you’re somehow too prideful to admit that you want me? Just say the word and I’ll make you feel good."

He laughs, amused by your stubbornness.

"Fine goddamn! I want you Toji, I need you.. please…" you pout, immediately feeling shame all over your body…

"That’s all I wanted to hear sweetheart."

Toji's smirk widens.

"But I need you to get off there, alright?"

He chuckles as you take his hand and hop off the kitchen island, not sure where this is going yet. Toji doesn’t hesitate and pulls your panties down to your knees, leaving you just in your skirt. He stands right behind you and kisses your bare shoulder, making sure you’re not uncomfortable by tracing over your waist.

"Stop teasing me Toji…"

You complain frustratedly.

"Alright sweet cheeks, bend over then."

You immediately do as he says, leaning your upper body over the island and feeling one of his hands trails from your leg up to your ass.

You can quietly hear the buckle of his belt opening before he opens the zipper of his pants.

His other hand grips around your waist and you hear a small groan coming from Toji.

The side of your face, and your tits are pressed against the cool marble of the island and your back is slightly arched when you feel a tiny kiss being pressed on your shoulder.

"Let me know when it’s too much okay?"

Toji whispers in your year.

You nod quickly, not wanting to wait anymore when there’s suddenly a hand pushes one of your legs further apart.

It doesn’t take long until you feel his tip splitting your folds and rubbing against your clit, just like his thumb did earlier.

Toji takes a moment before starting to use a little bit of pressure to push into you.

He smirks smugly at the desperate sounds you’re making, trying to take his full length on the first try.

"Woah woah, calm down."

He pulls out again, before doing same thing all over again.

You try to relax as much as you can, feeling his hand rub over your back.

"That’s it princess, let me in. You’ve almost done it." He says before pushing much further this time. You bite your lip, holding any sounds back from slipping through your teeth.

"That’s a good girl, there we go."

Toji's voice is much gentler than before.

He hums with every thrust, feeling your warm walls suck him in.

Your eyes begin to water at the intensity of pain and pleasure mixing and your entire body starts getting warmer. Toji’s hand trails from your back up to your head and grabs the back of your head by your hair as he begins moving smother and faster.

You’ve never been this filled before and something in your body is telling you that you won’t be able to be that filled for much longer either. It’s not until you feel Toji’s other hand playing with your clit that you actually have to moan out loud. You try everything you can to hold back but it’s impossible.

With his full length inside you, the feeling of his fingers on you’re by now fully sensitive clit and your nipples rubbing themselves sore and perky against the stone of your kitchen island you just can’t keep it in anymore.

Toji immediately knows you’re climaxing by your cramping legs and tightening hole.

"Why didn’t you say you were close?"

He looks amused at you.

"I’m sorry…" you try to catch your breath.

"Oh no you’re good doll, don’t worry."

He still hasn’t stopped moving his full length in and out of you.

"You think you can spread your legs further one more time?" He asks you gently.

You nod, doing as he says.

Toji doesn’t hesitate and makes you suck him in a few more times before you hear him groan once more.

"Mhmmm, I knew you could do it."

He speaks and you feel him release himself deep inside you.

"I knew you were my good girl"

Can’t believe it’s been over a year omfg, I wanna start posting more especially since I have so many drafts, but I just can’t seem to finish them. :/ feel free to send requests, maybe it’ll help me get over my writers block and actually motivate me. Ly and don’t forget to reblog! 💕

[starkeyisthelastname]

Okay buuut… not to be angsty about it but do pornstar!Rafe or reader ever have a moment where they’re just like “I can’t do this anymore” and they like try to not see each other but obviously that doesn’t work out… or probably last very long… I could see Rafe being emo about it and not being able to get it up for a scene and just walking off directly to your house all like “seriously what the fuck have you done to me!?”

okay so like I see this happening after their little talk, but Rafe is the one who says he can’t do it. 😭

Everything seemed good, the two of you even fucked again after smoking and talking briefly. The both of you left that the night with even stronger feelings which meant Rafe almost needed to step back for a minute. To you, it came out of nowhere and you felt rejected after reading the text he sent a few days after when you asked if he wanted to come over that night. ‘I need to focus on work rn. Agent told me I’m losing fans. Can’t do this anymore.”

It was clear Rafe was scared of something, and wasn’t going to tell you what it was. At least not right now anyway. As soon as you felt rejection, you became closed off. You didn’t even bother replying to his text, wiping the tears away over the fact you would probably be nothing more than a past fling to him. You wanted to hate yourself for falling for a guy, whose only focus was pussy and money.

For the first time when it came to a woman’s feelings, Rafe was feeling very guilty. He continued on with his week the best he could, trying to act like it didn’t bother him that he had called things off. After you left that night, he sat in his thoughts, thinking about if he really wanted to end his career for one girl he didn’t know much about. He knew the answer. He wanted you. Instead he came up with every excuse on why he should continue working, and before he could stop himself, he was sending you that message.

It was the next week when he showed up to set, pissed off at himself really, but taking it out on everyone else. You hadn’t texted him at all and he hadn’t tried to text back because a part of him felt like he had already fucked it up. He was affected by this more than he should be and for the first time, he didn’t want to film at all, not even try and fake it. As he stood trying to get himself hard, getting ready to shoot, he just couldn’t do it, which only pissed him off more. He knew he couldn’t continue his day like this without seeing you again.

You nearly cut yourself with the knife you had been using to chop vegetables when you heard the pounding on the door. You frowned, wiping your hands and quickly going to answer the door. You didn’t get two words in, before Rafe stormed in, wrapping a hand around your throat. “What the fuck are you doing to me? Huh?” He asked, blue eyes dark.

“R-Rafe what the fuck you doing?” You asked, gasping for breath. You hadn’t spoken to him since you left his house a week ago, and hadn’t ever responded to his dick of a text. You couldn’t deny that you had missed his touch, even if it had only been a week, it still felt longer than that. You craved this man, no matter how much you disliked him right now.

Within a second, he was turning you around so that his front was pressed directly against your back. “Can’t even fuckin work, because you and this perfect cunt are on my mind 24/7.” He spat in your ear. Your head spun as he continued to squeeze your throat, his other hand lifting up the little dress you had on. He chuckled to himself as he noticed your lack of panties, making it all the more easier to slam himself into you, after quickly undoing his pants. His dick was now harder than ever, stretching you open for the first time in over a week.

“R-Rafe!” You cried, only to get three thick digits shoved in your mouth.

Rafe was ashamed of himself for even considering turning you away, he didn’t even want to look at you right now, wondering why you had to be so goddamn perfect and why he had to feel this way about some girl he didn’t even know. “Shut up. Don’t wanna hear shit from you now. Just take this fuckin dick like a good whore.” His tone low, dripping like venom in your ear, while you gagged on his hand. He fucked you like he hated you, but the truth was he couldn’t get enough of you. He had found his new addiction.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

it is so important to me that within the very last scene Monty appears, he is spoken to with kindness. and by Charles, of all people.

because the only person that Monty seems to have regularly known is Esther, and she treats him with anything but kindness. it's very safe to assume that Monty has presumably spent the vast majority of his life being berated, attacked and neglected by her. there has never been a moment that showed Monty receiving any sort of gentleness or tenderness from her. when Esther does compliment him, it's only to do with how good-looking she made him as a human. and that's her own handiwork. Monty himself is never praised, never acknowledged, never seen for any of his own efforts to assist her. yet, she was quick to both see and act the second he messed up, and not even through fault of his own.

it's so incredibly touching that Monty is finally praised for his own actions when we part ways with him. and by the very person he dislikes so much. Monty bitterly resents Charles. he's not shy about it. Charles is not unaware of it. he isn't all that fond of Monty himself. and yet, Charles is the one to end things on a positive note. it should be ironic, but it isn't at all. it makes complete sense.

of course it's Charles that Monty shares this final moment of his with. Charles is not an idiot, so i'm certain he could somewhat tell that Monty is a victim of abuse. the victim of an abusive parent-like figure, no less. just like him. Charles is rightly furious at what Monty has done, but how could he truly hate him? when he knows full well what it's like to be so scared of the person who's meant to look after you? when he knows full well that horrible feeling of being trapped without any escape in sight? Charles has also experienced being treat in a disgusting, violent manner for no reason at all. he may not have been serving an impossible-to-please witch like Monty is, but no matter how athletic, hard-working or friendly he was, Charles could never escape his father's terrifying anger, all efforts of his rendered futile.

it's interesting that Charles doesn't seem all that shocked in this moment, to see Monty act against Esther. he's glad, but i don't reckon his expression is one of surprise? it's almost as if Charles already had some sort of faith in Monty, even though the crow has given him absolutely no reason to trust him, quite the opposite. but maybe that's not so strange. Monty is like Charles. Charles is the person who outright said that he's desperate for people like him to be right, to be good. we saw how devastated he was when Brad and Hunter were not.

so, these words from Charles must have mattered to Monty greatly. people who are abused, especially by those who are meant to look after them, such as their parents, can often be led to believe that their abuser's actions are somehow "justified," even if it's not a thought they're fully conscious of. Monty isn't entirely naïve, at least outwardly. he clearly isn't under the impression that Esther actually cares for him, considering how bitterly he speaks to her. but deep down, there must be a reason he still stays with Esther, because he isn't restrained physically. Monty's cage is unlocked, he's "free" to fly around as he pleases, even shown to go outside at one point. he doesn't fly away from her, though. and that may be because he unconsciously feels that he owes Esther his complete loyalty.

but this moment could have changed that. if Charles, who Monty doesn't like and isn't liked by in return, who Monty was impolite and passive-aggressive to can speak to him kindly - what right does Esther, who Monty tries to be helpful to, have to treat him with such cruelty? what right does she have to scream at him, to grab him, to mutilate him? when he's done nothing but be her loyal familiar, having only committed the sin of feeling too much for her liking, human feelings that she forced upon him?

this scene is towards the end of the show for us. but for Monty, maybe it's a turning point in his life.

[elronds-meleth-nin]

Lemon Cakes

I just...I had an idea and I was emotional about S2E7 (beware spoilers!!) so I wrote a thing. We're not taking S2E8 into account, and we're assuming Brimby managed to escape from Eregion. Anyway, enjoy!

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Celebrimbor (RoP) x Half-Elven Healer!Reader

[A/N: This contains mild references/innuendo so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Fluff, angst, yearning, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, minor descriptions of the same, spoilers for RoP S2E7, crying, kissing, both think their feelings are unrequited but they're very requited, nudity, mild references to male anatomy.

~*~

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts and fears that I didn't bother noting where I was going. All of Eregion was safe, so it didn't truly matter which pathway I took. However, it still would have been wise to do so.

Wisdom wasn't exactly the foremost concern in my mind at that moment. Court whispers, idle gossip, occupational politics...those had unfortunately taken center stage as I hurried through - was I in Eregion's gardens? Grudgingly, I supposed that the hedges were a dead giveaway that I'd somehow wandered into them without realizing. I'd been drawn to them countless times over the decades that I'd lived in the city. Ending up there should not have been a surprise.

My mind dwelled - foolishly, perhaps - upon my worries. How was I supposed to ignore what they were saying? It wasn't as if the other healers were trying particularly hard to hide the fact that they despised me for my heritage. After all, in their eyes a Peredhel - one of Half-elven descent - could never do as well as someone who possessed only Elven blood. I'd trained under several of the best healers known to Elvendom, but still that was not enough for the wagging tongues attached to judgmental minds.

All I wanted was to help heal the injured, but because of my status, I was relegated to organizing supplies and sweeping the floors of the infirmary. Had I been given the chance to prove my worth and demonstrate my training, I might have been able to advance further. As it stood, however, I only had a few of the common families of Eregion who trusted me enough to tend to their wounds and ailments.

Despite my situation, I made an effort never to complain. I took what opportunities were offered and made do. After all, if I had complained, not only would I have been seen as ungrateful, but I would've been proven to be, in the eyes of those who disliked me, even weaker than I was already perceived to be. I was allowed to remain in Elven territory. Should that not be enough for one lowly Peredhel?

That didn't stop me from feeling frustrated, though. Overhearing the last of the other healers' insidious comments after a long day was what broke my resolve. As I wandered through the maze of shrubbery, hot tears rolling down my cheeks, I hated that I'd let them bother me this much. Was I truly so weak-minded that I could not handle a few insults? Surely, I must be.

"Are you alright?" A warm but tentative voice called, and I tried to quickly wipe away my tears. Whoever had been kind enough to check on me didn't need to be bothered by a weepy Elleth.

"Yes, of course," I called as I posted on a faux smile and turned to find– "Lord Celebrimbor! Forgive me, hir-nin."

I began to drop into a low, deferential curtsy, but a gentle hand grasped my shoulder, stopping me.

"Please, my lady, there is nothing you have done which requires an apology." Having only seen him from a distance, I'd never spoken to Lord Celebrimbor before. I hadn't expected his voice to be so kind. I looked up, and he smiled at me.

I had never been looked at with such radiant warmth in all my life. Words utterly failed me. I should have said something - anything - but I could not seem to speak.

The light of the setting sun created a golden aura around Lord Celebrimbor's head, making him look like a heavenly being sent by the Valar. For a moment, I forgot all about my frustration and grief.

Those closest to him must scramble for even a few moments with him. How could they not? The greatest of the Elven smiths was also the most attractive Elf I'd ever met.

"There we are," he murmured as my eyes met his. "Would you perhaps like to join me?"

For the first time, I noticed he was holding a plate of lemon cakes. He'd likely come out to the gardens to relax with a sweet treat, only to find a distraught mess instead.

"O-Oh, thank you, my lord, but, truly, I do not wish to intrude," I stammered, but he let out a gentle laugh that made my heart twist in my chest.

"I will not force you, of course, but you should know that I would welcome your company," he said, glancing between myself and the lemon cakes. "Over the years, I have found that something sweet can help lift the spirit. Besides, I don't think I should eat all of these myself. My tailor would be quite cross if he had to replace my entire wardrobe."

I doubted a figure like his could ever be diminished by the insignificance of a few lemon cakes, but the need for friendly companionship was so great within me that I allowed myself to take his not-so-believable excuse at face value.

"Only if you're certain, my lord." His smile widened, and he eagerly led me to a bench nestled between a pair of pink flowering dogwood trees. Once we were seated, I finally took a moment to observe my companion. Wearing deep blue velvet robes, delicately embroidered with beaded leaves and vines, Lord Celebrimbor of Eregion sat beside me with all the gravitas and dignity of a king. His gaze was as soft as his touch had been upon my shoulder.

But he was a lord, and one of the most skilled Elven smiths in history. I was only a Peredhel. No matter how handsome I found him, common people like me did not end up with nobility.

Distracting me from my sobering thoughts, Lord Celebrimbor offered me one of the little iced cakes. I couldn't help but smile at the slices of candied lemon decorating the top.

"I must admit," he murmured as I gratefully took one, "that sweets are somewhat of a weakness of mine. The bakers whose establishments I frequent across the city have become rather aware of the fact that this variety in particular are my favorite. I fear they quite effectively know how to convince me to part with my coin."

That fit him quite well, in my opinion. The brightness of the citrus, the sweetness that tempered the flavor...nothing could have suited his personality more fully. Those cakes were light and sunny, as was he.

After we'd eaten in peace for a time, conversing quietly between ourselves about everything and nothing, Lord Celebrimbor looked at me curiously.

"If you don't wish to discuss it, I promise you are under no obligation to do so, but is there someone to whom I should speak in your defense?" I looked at him in askance, and he gave a small smile. "'Tis heinous behavior to bring such a lovely lady to tears. If there is someone who requires a stern speaking to, please consider my services in that department most humbly offered."

His gaze was so earnest and concerned that I had to avert my own lest I tear up again. None had ever offered to come to my defense before, opting instead to suggest that I grin and bear it, or that I develop a thicker skin as comments like that were to be expected for one of such low, unworthy birth.

"You are very kind, my lord, but, truly, you needn't trouble yourself." I barely dared to look back over at him after a moment's pause. "After all these years, I should have developed a thicker skin."

Celebrimbor wiped his fingers on his handkerchief and leaned a little closer to me, clearly engrossed.

"About what, my lady?"

I hesitated. It was perhaps vain, but I did not relish seeing the kindness in his eyes melt away when he realized with what sort of person he'd been conversing. But there was nothing for it. One did not simply ignore the Lord of Eregion when he asked you a question, especially not when he'd been kind enough to offer you food, comfort, and company. As much as I wanted to run, I remained seated.

"I am Half-elven, my lord," I nearly whispered, dropping my eyes to my lap where I was wringing my hands nervously. "My heritage is...somewhat of a common topic of discussion, especially with regards to my abilities."

"Abilities?" He asked gently, and I nodded my head.

"I am a healer, my lord. I was trained by some of the most skilled Elves I have had the fortune to know," I elaborated. "Truly, I do not mind helping where I can, and if it were a simple matter of my skills not being necessary, I would not be quite so frustrated, but..."

I trailed off, unsure of how to express the rest of my thoughts without sounding pathetic and childish.

"...But you've been overlooked because of who your parents were," he finished sounding somber. "My lady, I am truly sorry that you have had to endure such unjust treatment. None should behave so dishonorably, especially not here in Eregion. After all, in Lindon, our High King's herald is Half-elven. Ability has nothing to do with blood, as my people should be aware. I daresay you've likely heard some unworthy remarks, as well, for which I can only apologize. My people should know better."

I expected pity or disdain when I finally dared to look up at him again, but instead, I found only a reassuring smile and warm eyes skimming my face.

"Thank you, hir-nin, for your kindness. There was no need for you even to speak with me, much less be in my company, but I am so very grateful that you did."

Celebrimbor's smile widened, and he caught one of my hands between both of his. I couldn't help but marvel at how large they were, and how strong the calloused pads of his fingers felt. He must work quite diligently at his craft.

"It has been my honor, I assure you."

He paused, looking unsure as if considering whether he should say what was on his mind.

"Do you know, my lady, I have seen you walking in the gardens before. I should have wished you a good day or stopped to say at least 'good morning,' but I...well, I did not wish to intrude upon your peace," he said, and I looked at him in awe. "You always seem so relaxed when you are amongst nature, strolling through the starlight. Oft in the evenings, I take a break upon the balcony of my tower, and I have the loveliest view of the moonlight cascading down upon you."

He'd seen me before? I hadn't been aware that he knew of my existence, much less remarked upon the walks I took to clear my head.

"I wish I had mustered my courage earlier, however, since I cannot change my prior cowardice, I would like to focus instead upon the future. Might I have the honor of knowing you better?"

How could I have possibly refused? Why would I? That evening had been the start of a friendship that I'd never expected to have. Celebrimbor was always courteous and warm with me, allowing me to see his forge and discussing his work with me.

He never admitted to any involvement, but I suspected that he was the reason why barely a week after our initial conversation I was allowed - finally - to put away my broom in the healers' halls and begin treating patients. Even the cruel whispers and rumors died down to only the most occasional instance.

The Lord of Eregion shared my joy when my skills were begrudgingly praised, delighting especially when one of Lindon's visiting generals bore witness to my work. He was so pleased with how I'd patched up a small squad of his soldiers that I'd received a letter of thanks from the High King himself by royal messenger not long after the general had reported home safely.

Celebrimbor had been so excited for me that he'd sent his smiths and apprentices home early and opened a bottle of wine in celebration. That night, it had been particularly difficult to tamp down my growing admiration for the gorgeous Ellon who'd been so kind to me. Undoubtedly, he'd never feel more for me than friendship, but my heart did not seem to grasp that particular fact. When he finally walked me to my door and bid me sweet dreams, I knew for certain that I was doomed to love one who could never return my feelings. I was content, however, to simply be around him.

As the years passed, I slowly climbed the ranks of Eregion's healers, eventually earning the grudging respect of my peers, and the one person who had believed in me from the start seemed no less proud of me than he had from the beginning. It was not uncommon, of a free evening, to find me curled up in the uppermost room of Eregion's tower, discussing my lord's latest projects or ideas, or sharing herbal tea and something sweet from one of Eregion's bakers.

Eventually, after about a century's residence in Celebrimbor's city, and after having spent about three quarters of that as his friend, he summoned me to his tower during one of my shifts in the healers' halls. That, in itself, was not uncommon. He and his smiths were rather prone to accidents, especially given the nature of their work. Celebrimbor always asked for me personally, and as this time was no exception, I gathered a bag of medical supplies and hurried to see what might have happened.

The Lord of Eregion had been quite consumed by his latest project, and, though it was a rare occurrence, he had not discussed it once with me. I'd thought it strange that he was being so secretive, but after all, he was the Lord of Eregion first and foremost. He owed me no explanations. I thought nothing of it.

When I arrived, however, instead of seeing the forges blazing and the smiths all chattering about their work, I found only Lord Celebrimbor seated beside one of the windows, holding a letter in his hand. His forges were stone cold, and a sad, worried sort of expression played across his face.

"My lord?" I called quietly, hovering in the doorway. I felt as though I was intruding upon something private to which I ought not be a witness, but he had summoned me. I could not keep him waiting. At my quiet question, he looked up and plastered what I easily recognized as a forced smile across his lips. "You asked for me?"

"I did, mellon-nin," he said, gesturing for me to come closer. "Come, sit with me."

I did as he asked, setting my bag at my feet and looking at him curiously as I perched beside him on the divan.

"Are you hurt?" I could see no evidence of an injury, but he'd hidden them quite well before.

"Oh, no. No, forgive me. I hope I did not worry you," he said patting my arm gently. "Actually, this morning I received a rather important letter from High King Gil-Galad."

Silently, he held the folded parchment out to me, and I accepted it carefully. The King's seal was unmistakable upon the outer fold. My eyes skimmed the neat, swirling hand in which he'd penned his missive, and I had to reread it twice before the meaning fully sank in.

Wide-eyed I looked over at Celebrimbor whose smile now reached his eyes. He still looked rather sad, though.

"The High King wishes me to come to Lindon?" I asked feeling rather stunned. "But...why me?"

"From what I understand, he has heard many positive things about you and your skills as a healer from his soldiers and several of his friends," Celebrimbor said as I handed the letter back to him. "He wishes you to train a group of healers so that Lindon will be in good hands as Eregion is."

I was speechless. Only just managing to keep my jaw from dropping, I blinked uncomprehendingly a few times.

"You come highly recommended to him. In fact, he asked for my opinion, and I told him the truth: that you are one of the most skilled healers of your age that I have ever encountered. Your bedside manner puts your patients at ease, and you are able to tend their wounds calmly and skillfully," Celebrimbor continued, setting the letter aside and grasping my hands. "There is no one better for the position, I assure you. You will excel in Lindon as you have here."

Finally forcing my voice to work again, I found myself stammering.

"I...Did the King specify how long I would need to remain there?"

"He said it might take two years, perhaps three," he answered, and as if he could read my thoughts, Celebrimbor tilted my chin up and looked into my eyes. "Eregion will still be here when you return. In any case, it was not a request. It was an order. You shall need to leave in the morning."

"That soon?" I asked feeling nerves start to bubble up within me. I was excited for the opportunity, of course, and honored beyond words that Gil-Galad had asked for me personally, but...the thought of leaving Celebrimbor and my home at such short notice frightened me.

My lord's arms wrapped around me, drawing me into a tight embrace which I returned wholeheartedly. Burying my face against his shoulder, I savored the feeling of being so close to him. I would not get the opportunity again for a long while.

"Stay here with me tonight," he murmured against my scalp, and I nodded my head silently in agreement. The pair of us barely let go of each other, and when we awoke cuddled together on the divan with the morning light streaming across our sleepy faces and rumpled clothes, there were no sufficient words to express all that we felt at this forced parting.

The final glimpse of Eregion's gates as I passed through them atop my horse, flanked on either side by guards, felt terribly final.

--

Lord Celebrimbor and I had corresponded via messengers since my arrival at Lindon, but shortly after his new forge had been built, his letters had all but ceased. I tried not to let my heartbreak show, but the High King, who had quickly caught on that my feelings for Celebrimbor were slightly more than friendly, noticed immediately.

After one of my meetings with him discussing the progress of his healers-in-training, he called me to a halt as I prepared to take my leave. His herald - my new and very dear friend, Elrond - was still there, but courteously acting as though he could hear neither of our voices as he packed away a stack of parchment.

"My lady, I have no doubt that he is simply caught up in his work," Gil-Galad said as he offered me a softer look than I was accustomed to seeing upon his regal features. "Given how Lord Celebrimbor has spoken of you in the past, he would not give you up so frivolously."

If only I believed he was right. Oh, I did not believe Celebrimbor to be cruel enough to do so, by any stretch of the imagination. I did not, however, believe myself to be important enough to deserve his attention, even after so many years of friendship.

Instead of voicing such concerns, however, I merely thanked the King for his reassurance, bowed my head respectfully, and went back to my duties.

A few silent months later, however, Elrond sought me out in the healers' halls and led me to an urgent meeting with the King. Beside a small table stood High King Gil-Galad and one of his commanders.

"Thank you for coming, my lady," the King said ushering me to a seat. He dismissed his commander, and I looked at him in askance. "I would not normally trouble you, but I'm afraid this concerns you."

I glanced up at Elrond and found a concerned, slightly guilty expression on his face.

"My lady, we believe that Sauron is in Eregion," the King said, and I felt as though I'd been slapped. "His goal is to create rings of power similar to the trio we already have. Naturally, to do this he would need a skilled smith..."

He trailed off, allowing me to come to the conclusion myself, and when I did, my stomach churned.

"Celebrimbor," I breathed, and he nodded his head.

"We are gathering our armies now, preparing to defend the city against another threat, but as we do so, we will also attempt to remove Lord Celebrimbor from Sauron's influence." Much of what the King said afterward was a blur. When he came to my particular duties as a healer, I paid close attention, noting all the preparations which would need to be made rather rapidly.

Before Elrond could leave, I dragged him into a hug and made him promise to be safe. Not long after, the rest of Lindon's army departed, and I was filling my time with work to distract myself from my fears.

--

Waiting for the High King and his soldiers to return was tantamount to torture. I had friends who were risking their lives in this conflict, of course, but even more than that, the fate of Eregion terrified me. The city had been my home for nearly a century, and I was naturally concerned for its people, but I was even moreso for Celebrimbor.

If I dwelled for too long upon that distinction, my own selfishness closed around my throat like a vice, forcing conflicted tears to well up in my eyes. When I thought of his kindness and all that he'd done for me, however, I found it easy to blink them back. I could not find it within myself to feel guilty for my concern over one so gentle and warm.

So, I waited with the other healers, giving orders where I could for casualty preparations, ensuring all of the supplies were well-ordered and accessible to all of us. Our patients would have traversed a long road home, victory or no, and we did not wish to prolong their discomfort any more than was necessary.

Horns blared at the gates a few days later, and we rushed out to receive the soldiers, injured and exhausted as they doubtless were. Fear scraped away inside me when I contemplated how many might have been lost when I saw how somber the mood was.

Tamping down my personal feelings, I moved with the swarm of healers, pulling aside all who were injured and beginning to treat the most serious problems first. We'd been working for only a few hours when a hand landed on my shoulder.

Elrond, dirty, defeated, and utterly bereaved stood at my side.

"Mellon-nin," he breathed, and I wrapped my arms around him. He embraced me fiercely, silent sobs wracking him as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Eregion..."

My heart constricted at his tone.

"The city fell," he mourned, and I felt a rising sort of panic.

"Did any escape? The people? The soldiers?" I asked, hesitating before I added, "Lord Celebrimbor?"

His nod against my shoulder brought tears to my own eyes. When he pulled back, he took a deep breath to steady himself.

"The High King wishes to see you. Immediately. You will want to bring supplies with you," Elrond murmured, but I caught sight of blood-soaked fabric peeking out from beneath his armor. I waved one of my best healers over.

"Thank you, mellon-nin. I am glad beyond words to see you returned. I'll go to the King now, but you are not to leave until your injuries have been seen to. No arguments, darling herald."

He gave me a damp smile and acquiesced to my demand after stealing another quick hug.

Tucking into a bag everything that I would need to treat potential injuries inflicted upon the High King, I rushed down the corridors on the heels of the soldier sent to guide me. He would not have sent for me unless it was serious. Instead of finding the King inside, however, he was just outside the door speaking with one of his guards. Gil-Galad dismissed both guards almost as soon as I arrived.

"Thank you for coming with such haste," he said, and as I took him in, he looked dirty, bruised, but otherwise unharmed.

"I was told you required a healer, Your Grace."

"Not I, though I did send for you. Your patient is within. You needn't knock," he said gesturing to the door to his guest's rooms. I made to go inside, but he caught my elbow, drawing me to a gentle stop. "My lady, I should warn you...'tis Lord Celebrimbor."

My heart nearly beat out of my chest with worry.

"How bad is it?" I rasped, and the High King's expression softened.

"Breathe. It is not life-threatening." I nearly fainted with relief, sagging heavily against the wall and allowing my eyelids to flutter shut. Gil-Galad placed a comforting hand upon my shoulder. "He was being held and manipulated by Sauron. He was chained to his forge with unbreakable restraints. The only way he could escape was to...remove one of his thumbs."

My eyes snapped up to meet his in utter horror at what Celebrimbor had been forced to do simply to preserve his own life. Finally, I forced myself to draw a steadying breath.

"Is there any swelling? Inflammation?" I managed to ask, and the King shook his head.

"No, there have been no complications thus far," he said, but he hesitated a moment. "I called for you, not because of the severity of his injury, but because he needs you. He rested only fitfully in his saddle. He called out for you...wept in his sleep."

Me? He'd called out for me?

"You are the greatest comfort he could have, my lady. He may not yet know that he has your love, but he needs it nonetheless."

I straightened as heat spread across my face. Gil-Galad had known of my feelings for Eregion's lord for some time, but we'd never discussed it so openly before. Oh, certainly he'd eluded to the subject before, giving subtle hints and encouragement when our correspondence effectively ended, but this...

"Thank you, Your Grace," I said in the steadiest voice I could manage. I hoped he understood that I didn't just mean for the reassurance. When he bowed his head and took his leave, I faced the door, steeling my nerves as I pulled it open–

And my breath froze in my chest. There, kneeling upon the ground in the middle of the floor, staring out into the sunlit garden, was Lord Celebrimbor. He seemed not to notice my entry. Closing the door behind me, I walked slowly over to him. Seeming both penitent and relieved, Eregion's lord remained stationary as the golden light of day poured across his skin. Dirt, grime, and dried blood covered him, but he was still the loveliest sight I'd ever laid eyes upon.

"My lord?" I murmured quietly, setting aside my bag as I knelt beside him, and with a slow blink, he roused himself from whatever thoughts had so captivated him. Slowly, he turned to face me, and amidst the dirt on his face, there were tear tracks.

His lips parted in surprise when he saw me, and when I offered him a gentle smile, he lifted his uninjured hand, caressing my face as if he could not believe that I was truly there.

I leaned more solidly into his touch, closing my eyes against the rising emotions within me, and a broken sob of my name tore from his lips.

"Y-You're here. You're real," he croaked as he began to weep. I drew him into my arms without a moment's hesitation. Clutching at me as if I might disappear, Celebrimbor fell to pieces in my arms. I could do no more than whisper reassurances and press gentle kisses atop his head.

An Ellon as sweet as he did not deserve to feel as terrible as he clearly did. The urge to smite Sauron - to rend him in half with my bare hands - grew with every tremble of my lord's frame beneath my hands.

In fragments, he spilled the story to me, explaining all that had happened between himself and Sauron - including how he found fragments of one of his letters to me in the corner of his forge where the manipulative bastard had thrown it. Hushing Celebrimbor's subsequent apologies, I ran my fingers gently through his hair, trying to soothe him.

Eventually, his tears dried up, his breathing became steadier, and he lifted his head from my shoulder. Without thought, he cupped my face with both hands. A grimace twisted his features and he began to whisper shame-filled apologies as he pulled his injured hand away.

I caught his wrist carefully, and pressed my own fingertips gently against his lips to silence him. Celebrimbor looked stunned even as his cheeks reddened.

"Have you forgotten that I am a healer, my lord? You needn't apologize. I have seen and treated much worse." His shoulders dropped a small measure at my reassurance, and I turned my attention to his poor hand. At least the cut had been clean. It was already beginning to heal quite nicely, but it would still need a little help. "Truthfully, this is doing quite well. Might I make a suggestion?"

"Anything," he breathed, and the sincerity in his eyes tore at my heart.

"It would be wise for me to give this a preliminary wash, then cover it in a protective layer so that we can get the rest of you clean. Afterward, I should be able to patch you up much easier, but only if that is agreeable to you," I said, but he was already nodding his head.

"Yes. Yes, entirely agreeable," he said beginning to smile tentatively again. "I shall humbly submit to any treatment you think is necessary."

My breath hitched in my throat. How could he still be so trusting even after everything that had happened? I vowed to myself that I would never abuse his trust. I loved him too much to even consider such treachery.

"Let me fetch a basin and send for a bath to be drawn, and I shall be right back," I promised, and he drew a shaky breath as I stood.

I was only apart from him for a few moments, but when I returned with the basin of water and the supplies, he looked up at me like he'd never been happier to see me. The joy radiating from him even beneath the dirt and dried blood covering his skin relaxed a ball of tension that had resided in me since I heard about the threat to him and his city.

He was here. He was alright. And Sauron had not broken that which was most important: his spirit.

Setting everything beside us, I laid a towel across my lap and gently pulled his sleeve back past his elbow. Shuffling a little closer so that neither of us would strain ourselves in the reach, I began to clean his wound, as well as his arm so that he needn't get it wet during his bath.

As I worked, we fell into a companionable silence that was only broken when a few strands of hair fell into my face having escaped my hair ribbon. With a touch lighter than a smith should ever have, Celebrimbor moved them behind my ear, his large, warm fingertip brushing over the point.

He'd never done that before.

I looked up to thank him, and I was taken aback by how close we were to each other. My nose was barely an inch from his. I swallowed heavily, forcing my heart, racing though it was, to remain silent.

"Thank you, my lord," I whispered. His breath caressed my skin, and I forced myself to look back down and finish my task. He did not need to be bothered with a childish infatuation. Why, oh why was professional distance so difficult to maintain around him?

Wrapping a few protective layers over the freshly cleaned wound, I tied it off carefully. It was a bit looser than I would normally make a dressing, but it was only meant to last long enough for a bath.

A knock sounded at the door as I finished up, and that, thankfully, was the announcement that it was ready - apparently the speed was thanks to High King Gil-Galad's foresight. He'd ordered the water drawn and heated when he sent for me, to be delivered when I asked.

Once we were both on our feet, however, Lord Celebrimbor seemed to freeze, nerves playing across his features.

"Is something amiss? Are you in pain?" I asked, but he'd shown no sign of it thus far. He drew a deep breath, his cheeks turning a bright red.

"You needn't do this if you...if this causes you discomfort, I'm certain I could manage." He sounded so embarrassed. At my confused expression, however, he elaborated. "I do not wish to be improper. To force you to see...well, more of me than is decent."

The precious man. Was that all he was worried about?

"There is no need for shame," I murmured, "in my occupation, nudity is as common as leaves on trees. I shall touch you no more than is necessary, and the moment you wish for privacy, you need only tell me, and you shall have it."

Celebrimbor seemed relieved, which wasn't surprising since Sauron had been holding him captive. I doubted he'd been left alone for even a moment.

"I...do not wish to inconvenience you, but I...don't think I..." he stammered as he tried to compose his thoughts. "Washing might be difficult on my own. I should be able to do some myself, but the rest..."

Holding his good hand with my own, I gave him a gentle smile.

"It is no inconvenience, and you should not be made to feel guilty for daring to ask for help." After a brief hesitation he nodded his head.

"In that case, thank you, híril vuin. I would be glad of your assistance," he said allowing me to lead him to the bathroom.

Carefully, I untied the laces of his tunic, easing the fabric from his injured side and apologizing every time I even expected him to twitch in discomfort. His bare chest ought not to have surprised me; he was used to laboring in his forge. His defined musculature was well-earned. Once he was down to just his leggings, he blushed brightly, and he asked if I might step out while he got into the bath. He would still need help washing, so I would need to return, but I could easily grant him that.

"Thank you, my lady. I realize that it is silly for me to ask, but..." he shrugged and trailed off bashfully.

"It is not silly, especially if such a simple thing would help you feel comfortable. Oh, by the way, have you eaten today?"

"I believe so, but...several hours ago." Nodding quietly to myself, I formed a plan.

"Then, I shall have some food sent up. I'll just be in the other room, so when you're ready to wash, call for me," I ordered, and he nodded his head. "Do not be afraid to ask for help should you need it before then."

I expected him to protest, but he agreed easily, allowing me to pat his bare shoulder before I stepped out.

Locating the servant that Gil-Galad had assigned to us, I asked for a dinner tray, along with a plate of lemon cakes and a pot of herbal tea - a sweet combination that I knew Lord Celebrimbor favored.

Though the cakes would not heal his thumb, they were exactly what he needed to lift his spirits. Something familiar that might bring him some comfort.

Ducking back into the bathroom when he called for me, I saw that my patient now lay with his eyes closed and his head resting against the rim of the tub behind him. Injured hand aside, he looked like one of the Valar lounging after a battle - a beautiful, larger-than-life figure in resplendent repose. I almost hated to disturb him.

He'd clearly managed to clean his face and part of his upper body, but his hair and back needed a little attention, along with his right arm. As I approached, I did my best to keep from looking lower than his neck, staunchly ignoring the part of my mind that was too focused on how good he looked while wet.

I moved a stool beside the tub and picked up the washcloth that he'd draped over the rim. When I looked back up at him, Celebrimbor's eyes were already watching me as a small smile stole over his lips.

"May I touch you, mellon-nin?" I asked, keeping my voice low so as not to disturb the calm spell that seemed to have fallen over us both. Had his pupils blown wider, or was that my own wishful thinking?

"Of course, you may. You, of all people, need never ask," he murmured.

"If you want me to stop at any point, tell me, and I swear to you–"

Celebrimbor grasped my hand.

"I know, mîr-nin," he said leaning forward until his damp forehead could meet mine. "I trust you. You have never hurt me, nor would you ever do so."

Drawing in a shaky breath, I allowed my eyelids to flutter shut. He'd never called me his jewel before. Surely, that was a sign of his exhaustion. Celebrimbor always had become softer and more prone to displaying platonic affection when he'd worked for too long, ignoring his own growing fatigue. As much as I wished it had meant more, I knew it never would, but as our breath mingled in this stolen moment, I felt a flicker of hope.

When we eventually pulled far enough apart for me to help him wash up, I tried to focus on the task at hand, rather than the feeling of my lord's muscles beneath my soapy fingers. Although, admittedly, I did allow myself the indulgence of giving him a small scalp massage as I washed his hair, combing my fingertips through his locks until not a single tangle impeded their flow.

Eventually, the water lost its heat, and I fetched a bathrobe and some towels from the side, bringing them closer for his use.

"If you would like me to step out..." I began to offer, but Celebrimbor shook his head.

"No. Truly, I should not have sent you out before. I was...Well, I feel much more like myself, now," he said, "and I have never been afraid of you seeing all of me. You know more of me than any other."

With a gentle smile, I moved the stool I'd been sitting on back to its place in the corner, draped a towel over my arm, and offered my lord my hands. He didn't hesitate to take them. Once he was on his feet, I glanced down to help him step out of the tub and–

Where toned thighs met, I was not at all surprised to see that his endowment was as attractive as the rest of him. And suitably sized.

My eyes met his, and I had no doubt he could tell I'd looked. Professional distance aside, I couldn't help giving him a mischievous smile.

"As I said before: you have no reason to be ashamed," I murmured, hoping that he could hear that which I was too afraid to say - the opinion which I, a mere healer, had no right to hold.

In no time at all, Celebrimbor was dry and wrapped in a soft set of silk robes. We thought it best, as he would be recovering from his ordeal for the next few days at least, to forego higher maintenance garments.

"Lemon cakes?" Celebrimbor asked as he took a seat on the divan that I'd moved farther into the sunlight - he seemed to savor it before. He looked between me and the tray as if attempting to solve a problem. "They're my favorite, but...how did you...?"

I couldn't help but smile as I crushed some herbs in a mortar and pestle, adding in some oils to bind the mixture together.

"You mentioned it the day we met," I answered. That day was one of my most pleasant memories, despite how it had started. The scent of dogwood blossoms still lingered in my memory as sweetly as perfume, lulling me back to that day as gently as a spring breeze.

"But...that was decades ago. Why would you remember something so trivial?" He asked, and looked up at him. Disbelief colored his features along with something softer - something I'd never dared to imagine seeing upon his face.

"Because it's something about you," I admitted as my heart hammered in my chest. Dropping my gaze back to the herbs, I tried to act as though I was still completely focused on creating the poultice my lord's hand required instead of my poor racing heart. Dropping my voice to a whisper, I both hoped and did not hope that he would hear me. "Everything about you matters to me."

Carrying the mortar and pestle over once I'd gathered myself, I took a seat beside him and lifted his injured hand.

"Forgive me. This will sting for a moment, but the oils should soothe the pain away quite quickly," I stated. With all the care I could muster, I scooped out part of the light green substance and dabbed it ever-so-lightly upon his wound. He didn't even flinch as I worked.

Truly, I should not have been surprised. Celebrimbor was a smith. He was used to injuries, even if they were not on par with...well, this. I'd set a broken bone in the same hand merely a decade before I was sent to Lindon, and even then he'd only let out a slight hiss of pain. Pride stabbed through me. Of course he'd escaped Sauron. How could he not with such strength?

My vision blurred as I reached for the gauze and cloth that I was meant to be covering the wound with, but I didn't truly process that I was crying until Celebrimbor brushed my tears away with his uninjured hand.

"What are these tears? Am I not meant to be the one in pain?" He asked giving me the same sweet smile he'd offered the day we met.

Turning just far enough to kiss his wrist, I tried to reassure him.

"I'm not in pain. I am more relieved than I have been in all my life." That was far too close to an admission for my taste, but after coming a hair's breadth from losing him, did I really want to stay silent for much longer? Carefully, I began wrapping his hand, ensuring that it was not too loose or too tight.

When I tied off the end over his palm, however, it occurred to me that after all he'd been through, Celebrimbor did not need a declaration of that sort after such a harrowing experience. He just needed a friend to be there with him. As that was all I would likely ever be to him, I smiled up at him and asked him how it felt.

"Perfect," he murmured in a lower, slightly rougher voice than before. Had I caused him more pain? Was the mix of oils wrong?

No. No, breathe. I'd treated Lord Celebrimbor before, and though he was the embodiment of kindness, he would've told me if something felt wrong. Perhaps he was tired? Yes, that was it. His long journey must be catching up with him. I'd noted the same when he was in the bath, so surely that was the only explanation. Carefully, I wiped my hands clean.

"We should change this in the morning and again before you go to bed tomorrow," I murmured, forcing out the professional advice that was so familiar to me. "We'll carry on like that for a few days, and see how you are healing as time progresses."

"As my healer wishes, but..." Celebrimbor trailed off, pausing as if he was considering whether to speak or remain silent. "You're...not leaving yet, are you?"

There was something vulnerable and frightened in his eyes now, something fragile that I was quite sure might break if I did leave. Instead, I smiled at him and shook my head.

"No, my lord. I will stay here with you as long as you wish," I promised, and his shoulders sagged in relief. After setting aside my supplies, I poured his tea how I knew he preferred it, and in the peace of Lindon's golden sunlight, we chatted as we used to. Since our correspondence had been so rudely prevented by a certain dark force, we filled each other in on all that we'd missed.

Celebrimbor insisted during that time, that I help him eat those lemon cakes. By the time the sun had begun to set, we'd even sent for a second pot of tea.

Amidst a lull in the conversation, Celebrimbor covered my hands with his own. My eyes flicked up to his, only to find him looking at me as if I'd hung the very stars in the sky.

"Is something amiss, my lord?"

"I should have told you years ago," he whispered. "I was a coward for so long. I only made it back here - back to you - by the sheerest of luck. I very nearly lost my chance entirely."

"After all these years, 'coward' is not a word I would ever think to call you," I said, but he shook his head.

"But I am. I have been so afraid that I would ruin the rapport that we've built," he insisted. "I am a coward, because I could not tell you until it was very nearly too late. I think a part of me hoped that if I could create something worthwhile...something to change Middle Earth, I would be worthy of risking the admission."

"What do you mean, mellon-nin?"

"My tunic!" He blurted, and at the alarm in his features, I startled.

"I don't understand. What about it, my lord?"

"Has it been taken away to be cleaned yet?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No, my lord, I haven't had the chance, yet. I can do so now," I said, and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank the Valar! No, don't take it yet, but...would you bring it to me?" Without hesitation, I hurried over to the table where I'd laid his clothing and pulled out his rumpled tunic. The stained green velvet had clearly seen better days. I sat beside him once more, and he folded the top inside out. Just inside the neckline, there was a small, concealed pocket. From within it, he pulled a velvet drawstring bag.

Discarding the tunic carelessly on the floor beside him, he took a steadying breath and offered me the bag. I accepted it cautiously, in case whatever was inside was fragile.

"This was the only thing I wanted to sneak out of my forge. The only thing that really mattered besides the nine," he said sounding more nervous than he had for most of the night. Darting his eyes between the bag and my face, Celebrimbor's tongue wetted his lips. "I meant to give it to you before you came to Lindon, but...I wasn't sure if...well..."

He trailed off and swallowed nervously.

"I feel fortunate to even have the opportunity to tell you, late though I am," he murmured. "Please...open it."

Carefully loosening the drawstring, I tipped the contents of the bag gently into my palm. Gleaming silver inlaid with the purest, brightest diamonds I'd ever seen sparkled up at me. Setting the bag aside, I lifted what I thought at first was a necklace, but upon its unfurling, I realized it was something entirely different.

"My lord, this is much too beautiful for one of my station," I protested looking up at him in awe.

"Nonsense. A circlet of a static shape would not adapt well if you wanted to wear your hair in more than one style. Such an adornment was a pleasure to make...for the Lady of Eregion," the last part of his statement came out as a whisper, and I froze. "I-I realize that title would not be applicable now, because Eregion is no more, but...I still wish you to have this. E-Even if you do not feel the same affection for me that I do for you, I still believe it would complement your beauty–"

My lips met his, cutting off his rambling. How could he think I would not want him? After all this time, after a century, I would've thought that I'd failed to hide my feelings quite spectacularly on several occasions. Lingering embraces, rather obviously adoring looks, spending practically all my time with him in his study and his forge - I had not been subtle, mentally berating myself on countless occasions for overstepping my bounds.

"I love you," I blurted as soon as we separated. "Since the day we met, I have held no other in higher regard. But...my lord, I am only Half-elven. You deserve so much better than me."

"Ridiculous. Of all the people I have encountered, you have done something that no other has: you have filled a hole in my heart which I did not know existed before we met. You have given me more to look forward to than just my work and my duties," he said cupping my face so gently between his strong, calloused fingers. The softness of his smile, the lines adorning the outer corners of his eyes - everything about him was so open and vulnerable that despite all the decades of accumulated doubts and fears, I believed him. "Meleth, your light chases away even the darkest of shadows. I love you, and I would spend my life with none but you."

When his lips claimed my own, he tasted of citrus, sugar, and courage. The next morning when High King Gil-Galad asked me to report on Lord Celebrimbor's condition, he noted the gleaming silver atop my head with a conspiratorial smirk and ordered me back to my patient's side. For his health, of course. If he called out a quiet congratulatory wish as I left, well, who could comment upon the thoughts of kings?

~*~*~

Elvish Words:

mîr-nin = my jewel

híril vuin = beloved lady

hir-nin = my lord

meleth = love

~*~

Taglist:

@bigblissandlove1 @horta-in-charge @gandalfthepimp

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Drowning Without You By My Side

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My Sweet Home Masterlist

My Cha Hyun-su Masterlist

Pairing(s): Cha Hyun-su x Fem!Reader Summary: Ever since losing everything, you felt like you were drowning. Trying to end it all wasn't successful when an unknown and unnatural force was hell-bent on stopping you, but when a near-death experience - unintended this time - causes you to tempt Death's grasp, you finally meet the force keeping you bound to the world. Warnings: Season 2 spoilers (slightly)! Slight panic attack, drowning, explicit detail of attempted suicide on the reader's part (The National Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 988. There are so many people who care about you and would love to help you. You are not alone), cutting and bleeding (during the roll calls), Ah-yi being too cute for her own good, and Hyun-su being a fond little cinnamon roll and a great big brother (even if it's only for a scene), no use of (y/n). Word Count: 6,163

next

Hyun-su!

You woke up with a start, sweat slickening your skin and causing the slightly ripped t-shirt to stick to your back. It was designed with a band of which you'd never heard the likes of before the apocalypse started. Your breathing was quickened intensely and you wiped your hands over your face, pushing your palms into your eye sockets as you fruitlessly tried to calm your heart rate. It took several minutes of doing every method you knew to stop a panic attack before you were finally able to take a deep breath without it stuttering in your lungs. You swung your legs over the edge of the hammock you had designated as your bed since you first arrived at the stadium all those months ago. To know that you hadn’t seen the boy you once called home in over half a year was a hard pill to swallow. You hated yourself for letting him go.

Hated that you didn’t try harder to follow after him.

Hated that you let the group force you onto the truck with them and head to the safety camp.

It was a never-ending cycle of self-loathing since you’d arrived at the stadium. When you’d found the secret exit leading out of the stuffy concrete walls you were trapped in, you found yourself leaving whenever possible. You couldn't handle the pitiful stares of your fellow Green Home survivors and the eyes of the citizens in the stadium who disliked the woman that protected the “murderer” of the chief’s husband. Although Eun-yoo and you did not really have any sort of relationship in terms of friendship, you had an unspoken agreement to protect and stand up for each other. If not each other, you had no one. The people you each had viewed as the closest to you of anyone had gone missing or even passed on to the next life. You both refused to admit that last thought out loud, though. 

Every morning, you would wake up and attend the morning roll call before getting dressed and leaving for the day until you returned just in time for the evening roll call.

Today would be no different.

You dropped your bare feet onto the frigid concrete floor and walked towards the bathroom, suppressing a shiver. The entrance to the bathroom had been taken off after an incident inside of the stadium. It involved none other than yourself and the elder brother of one of the boys who bullied Yeong-su when the two of you got into a fight. You can remember the exact words he had spoken to you after you talked to him about the boy’s behavior.

“The little shit deserves it. Being the little brother of a murderer and the devil’s advocate,” he’d said, referring to Eun-yu and yourself. “I hope he ends up becoming a monster. I even hope I’ll be the one to have the honor of killing him.”

You remember punching him square in the nose as soon as the words left his mouth. He’d flown backward and slammed into the bathroom door, successfully knocking it off the hinges and breaking the flimsy wood in half. You were positively seething at the absolute audacity the man had. Not being satisfied with how he’d fallen, you jumped on top of him and started pounding your fist into his face. You hit him over and over again, undeterred by the few hits he managed to get in, until you were pulled off of him. You started thrashing around violently when you felt hands wrapping around you to pull you off of him until you realized it was Park Chan-young, the young soldier who had been an alibi and friend to you and the rest of the Green Home survivors since you’d first gotten on that truck. A small crowd had gathered around after hearing the commotion and yells coming from the two of you before they all parted to allow Chief Ji in. When she saw you, her confused stare deepened to a glare but she ignored you in favor of transporting the brother you had just fought to the medical room. That was a hell of a day.

The inside of the bathroom was a regular locker room. Not surprising considering it was originally used for the players of the baseball team. The only difference was one of the walls was poorly rebuilt with rocks and bricks by Chief Ji and some of the stadium's residents after it was impacted by the missiles. 

Before you had started heading over to the bathroom, you had grabbed your small compact bag of hygiene supplies and brought it with you. Although toothpaste was hard to come by and you had to share the rations the soldiers found with your neighbors, you were able to find some on one of your days out. You brushed your teeth dry, not wanting to use any of the limited water on something like brushing your teeth. This had become something you were used to. 

Finally returning to your sleeping space, you didn’t bother changing out of the clothes you slept in and just decided to continue wearing them. The outfit was comfortable yet simple: a pair of oversized off-white sweatpants you had to manually make a drawstring for using a shoestring, and a short-sleeved dark blue shirt. Your shoes were the same ones you wore the first day this monsterization started. They were originally a pristine white you had tried your hardest not to taint, but now they were stained beyond repair from your adventures. You consider yourself lucky you had only bought them a week before the outbreak. They held up well throughout the year you’d spent with them as your sole pair of shoes. 

The morning announcement calling for roll call sounded through the silent air of the little enclosed unit you were lucky enough to be given.

Although luck may not have been the true cause. So many people were reluctant to be near you when they slept and complained enough times to the chief that she eventually just set you apart from the rest. Although it was lonely at times, you were thankful for the shred of privacy you had been granted. 

Once your shoes had been put on along with your sweater, you calmly walked down the hall toward the place where your assigned group met for roll calls. You arrived just in time to see Yeong-su slap away Jin-ok’s hand when she tried to pull him back from a soldier who was grinning meanly at him. You could see the built-up tears in the boy’s eyes that he desperately was trying to push away and rushed forward. Seeing the reasoning behind his tears, despite the consequences that you knew would ensue, you roughly pushed against the soldier’s back which sent him tumbling forward and his face met the ground floor with a sickening sound. You risked a glance to look back at Yeong-su and Jin-ok. Yeong-su’s arm was bleeding rapidly, seeming obvious that the soldier who cut him too deeply hit an artery. Hopefully, it wasn't a major one. The boy’s lip was quivering as he held back his tears. You could see all the emotions in his eyes: anger, frustration, helplessness, but mainly relief. Relief from you coming in to defend him. You quickly sent a look to Jin-ok and she immediately knew what you meant. She gently took Yeong-su’s hand and this time he didn’t resist as she led them both away from the scene and to their living quarters. 

You barely had time to let out a relieved smile before a fist was sent flying into your left cheek, sending your head snapping to the right and you falling back, only barely and painfully catching yourself with your elbows. You looked up at your assailant to see the officer who was tormenting Yeong-su standing above you. His nose was bleeding heavily and if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he was beginning the transition period to a monster. He wiped at his nose to no avail and sent you a heavy glare. He leaned down and roughly grabbed your arm, hauling you to your feet and pulling out his knife. You held eye contact even when the blade roughly slashed across your forearm, right over an already existing cut. You praised yourself internally on how you kept your face entirely neutral and how the soldier looked angry and disappointed at your lack of reaction.

You gave him a slight smirk as you held up your bleeding arm for his view, the blood gushing down and covering your bruised elbow. “Happy?” You questioned tauntingly and your smirk grew as you saw the man seething. Despite his intimidating height, you couldn’t help but think he looked like a cartoon character with the way you were sure steam would be bursting out of his ears at any second. When he made no further move to continue the fight, you swiftly turned around and walked out of the room, smiling when you heard him yell in frustration and throw something to the floor. The knife, you presumed. 

You didn’t bother visiting the doctor to help you treat your wounds as you wrapped a strap of clothing around it and called it a day. Any respect you had for him instantly flew down the drain when you caught him drinking the rubbing alcohol meant for treating wounds and acting immaturely all the time. You walked in the direction of the exit, making sure to not be spotted by any soldiers as you did. When you finally got there and pushed the door open, you let out a breath of relief. The moment you stepped out the door and into the clean air of the outdoors, you felt yourself relax a little more than before. You found it odd how you felt more relaxed outside of the safe haven the stadium provided but you couldn’t help yourself. In the outdoors, you felt free. You could think without hindrance and allow yourself to feel an emotion that wasn't complete and utter despair.

The ground crunched below your feet as you walked across the gravel towards the green grass fields. You had no objective or destination in mind for today, you just wanted to escape the oppressive hands of your 'superiors.'

Walking on light feet, still making sure to keep your head focused on the area around you in case a monster appeared, you found yourself standing in front of a building. There was nothing special about this building. Half of it wasn't even attached as it lay broken in shambles around the structure. The ladder leading to the roof was rusted and had some of the metal bars sticking out awkwardly. The building in total was relatively normal and in good shape compared to those around it.

The only special thing about this building was the memories that it spurred within your head. 

You climbed up the ladder, tears blocking your vision as they collected on your waterline despite your deepest efforts. You lost everyone. You lost Hyun-su; the boy you called home; the boy you called your soulmate; the boy you loved more than anyone or anything else. You lost Ji-su, the girl you decided you could call your best friend after spending so much time with her on the first floor of Green Home for those days at the beginning of this mess. You even lost Su-yeong, the little girl you’d grown so protective over… gone without a second thought. You never truly had Eun-yu so it wouldn’t hurt as much whether or not she had died. The only person you truly felt you had left was Yeong-su. You hated yourself for doing this to him but only having him wasn’t enough to stay anymore. 

You felt like you were drowning. You were unable to handle the constant feeling of your emotions overpowering you. You’d heard so many times that it got easier as time went on but you never thought you would be able to overcome this. Although it might have been fitting to end your life by drowning, you just wanted a quick and painless death.

Falling solved that for you. 

When you finally climbed the ladder to the roof of the building, you couldn’t help the sobs that wracked your body. You hopped up onto the edge of the building and looked up. The sky seemed to perfectly oppose how you were feeling. Soft, puffy white clouds were fluttering through the atmosphere and forming different shapes you could just barely make out. The tears slipped down the side of your face as you tried to gain some sort of peace before you followed through with your decision. 

The wind was a gentle, cool breeze across your damp cheeks as you stood and glanced across the beautiful terrain below you. The grass had just barely begun to grow out of its perfect and well-maintained state, but it was still a wonderful sight to see. There were flower gardens surrounding the tall building, some crushed brutally by the falling of the walls but most were left perfectly untouched and thriving in the new world. The sight made your body calm down, the tears cascading waterfalls of sorrow down your cheeks slowly coming to a stop. You’ve heard of the acceptance of death people have when they know they’re about to die. You’d never thought you would have to face that kind of acceptance, never really thought the way you’d die would be because the world had been cruel and gave you too much pain for you to handle. You never thought that yet there you were.

There you were, standing on the edge of the tallest building you could find, one foot raised and hovering over the edge and you giving one last smile to the world before having your other foot join it. 

The wind screamed in your ears and you swear you could hear voices within it. Voices calling your name. Voices that sounded too similar to one you’d lost. You let your eyes fall shut as memories flashed through your mind. Memories of reading to Su-yeong and Yeong-su; memories of playing the guitar and singing with Ji-su, laughter interrupting each word because you couldn’t take yourselves seriously; memories of Hyun-su. 

Memories of shaking his hand when you first met him after he moved in across the hall from you in Green Home. 

Memories of him coming to you crying for the first time and confessing how he couldn’t stand being alive anymore.

Memories of losing yourself in his eyes when he smiled at you.

Memories of his touch against your cheeks when he leaned in to leave a kiss against your forehead.

Memories of him.

A single tear drop fell from your eye and you smiled at the thought of meeting him again, whether that be in your next life or the one that comes after death. There was no doubt in your mind that he was gone, and that thought alone was more than half of your reasons for wanting to end it all. 

Just as you were sure you were about to hit the bottom, a strong yet lean arm wrapped around your body and gently set you down on the ground before retreating just as quickly as it had appeared. You shot your eyes open only to be left with the blue sky above you and the intense wind that breezed over your body as whatever it was that saved you disappeared. For a few moments, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t move, couldn’t blink, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything except stare in perplexment at the sky. As you sat up, you still couldn’t think straight and allowed your body to work on autopilot as it walked you home. 

It took a full week until you were finally able to come to terms with the fact that either you had imagined the whole thing or something - someone - had saved you.

A month after your first attempt, you tried again. You couldn’t handle the stares of disdain and hatred towards you after you had defended Eun-yu as others criticized her about her apparent murder of Chief Ji’s husband. Yet, just like the last time, you were saved miraculously last minute by that same strange force. 

You tried a dozen more times, all ending with the same result. It was so frustrating and you could barely handle the pain knowing you couldn’t even control your death, let alone your life.

The tears streamed down your face violently as you knelt and smacked your fists angrily against the wet, coarse dirt of where you were, once again, gently placed down after another failed attempt to end your life. The shredded noose hung limp around your neck and you ripped it off aggressively. You let out an agonizing scream from the deepest part of your lungs and it ended with more sobs as you let yourself fall onto your side with your knees pulled into your chest. Your loud sobs slowly quieted down but the tears never stopped falling. You stood up from the wet ground, your hair and clothes both stained by the mud below. Water rained down from the heavens, soaking your shirt and making it cling to your chest. Your tears blurred with the raindrops that splashed against you and slowly made their way down your face, disappearing down your neck and into the collar of your shirt. 

“Why are you doing this?” You yelled into the open air, receiving no answer. “Why? Why do you keep doing this? Why won’t you just let me die?” You choked on a sob at that last question and yet you still received no answer. Defeated, you decided to retreat back to the stadium and get cleaned up. When you returned, Jin-ok was the first to notice the bruising around your neck and your tired, puffy eyes. When she asked, you played dumb but you could tell she saw right through you. Luckily, she left it alone. 

You ended up curled up in your hammock for hours as you sobbed your heart out. 

Although the stadium might have been a better place to follow through with your plan, you refused to put your few remaining friends - if you could even really call them that - through that. Put them through the pain of seeing your dead body and knowing they might have been able to stop it. Even though you would be dead by then, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. The only way you would allow yourself to follow through was outside of the stadium.

But a certain someone, or something, wouldn’t allow that to happen. 

That was the last time you tried to end your life.

You’d had many dangerous encounters since then but every time they would be cleared out by your guardian angel before you could even really call them a threat. It got to the point where you felt more safe outside the stadium compared to within its concrete walls.

Sighing, you averted your eyes from the building and walked around it, focusing instead on the plants that were just starting to bloom in the early spring. The breeze was a welcome chill that rose goosebumps along your arms. As you continued to walk, your mind blank and your feet destinationless as you wandered, you came across a large pool of water.

And a girl.

She was young, and couldn’t have been more than 5 years old. It was such a shock to see her there, especially all by herself, that you didn’t realize she was sinking until it was almost too late. Without a second of hesitation, you jumped right into the lake and swam as fast as you could towards her. Grabbing a hold of her hand, you pulled her along as you swam back up to the surface. You dragged her towards the edge of the earth where the stable ground met the water and laid her down. Lowering your head to her mouth, you tried to listen to her breathing but instead, you got a headbutt to the ear. She shot up and started coughing up water. You ignored how your ear stung at that moment and instead rubbed along her back while she breathed heavily. 

“Are you okay?” You asked her and she suddenly snapped her head towards you, like she didn’t recognize your presence until you spoke.

Slowly, she nodded. “Yes,” she hesitated before quietly asking, “Did you save me?”

You smiled at her shy mannerisms as she played with the hem of her wet and dirtied dress. “Yeah, I did.”

She looked up at you, almost surprised with your confession, and gave you a shy smile back. “Thank you,” she whispered before averting her eyes again.

You couldn’t stop the smile growing even brighter on your face at her adorableness. You looked around, seeing nobody else in sight. Your eyebrows furrowed as you began to worry about who she was and why nobody was taking care of her. “Are you alo-”

Just as you started to speak, a wet and slimy tentacle-like appendage wrapped itself around your torso and yanked you back into the lake. You thrashed around but couldn’t unravel yourself from the monster’s grip. You saw your knife float away and sink further down the dark abyss that was the bottom of the lake. With it, the last of your newfound hope to live followed. Just as you lost the last of the reserved air in your lungs, a sudden figure dove into the water and wrapped its arm around you. Just before your eyes fluttered shut, you swore you saw the blurry face of the same boy who haunted your dreams. The boy who haunted your nightmares.

The same boy who haunted your mind as you stuttered between the line separating life and death after surrendering to the lack of oxygen. 

“Hyun-su!”

You screamed as you saw the military take him away. You lay helplessly against the side of the crumbling Green Home building as the pain of moving around too much from your wounds caused you to be dead-weight in your spot. 

He let out a scream of agony that ended with your name and you felt your heart shatter. He was surrounded by multiple people; doctors, scientists, and soldiers alike. Each person’s face was surrounded by a strange darkness. The only thing you could make out of their faces were their evil, wide smiles, and their eyes tainted a demonic red. The sight made you feel even more helpless and despair-ridden than before.

You could do nothing but watch as the love of your life was taken from you without a second thought. 

Hyun-su gathered you in his human-form arm while the other, extended in his monstrous form, swung back and forth through the water to slice at the monstrous being that dared to harm you. He didn’t waste much more time under the water to fight the beast as he noticed your eyes had slipped shut and you weren’t releasing any more air bubbles. He surged upwards, his wing doing most of the work as he darted through the surface of the water and onto the solid ground near the same little girl you had saved before.

Lying you down on the ground gently, he lowered his head to your mouth to hear if you were breathing, cursing quietly when he realized you weren’t. It was at times like these that he thanked whatever deity existed that he allowed himself to be persuaded by his parents to be a lifeguard for a summer. That way, he learned and was certified in CPR. 

Plugging your nose, he administered two breaths into your mouth before pressing his - now both fully human - hands to your chest. Just as he prepared for the first chest compression, you suddenly started coughing and turned onto your side as you continued to cough up the water from your lungs. He was so thankful there wasn’t enough water in your lungs that he would’ve had to break your ribs giving you CPR. 

But he would choose broken ribs over a body that wasn’t breathing any day.

After coughing your lungs dry, you fell onto your back with your eyes closed as you took many deep breaths. Suddenly, you remembered the face you clearly remember saving you and shot up into a sitting position, your eyes wide and surprised. Your gaze immediately fell upon him.

Hyun-su.

You held your breath as your eyes met and you stared at each other for a few moments. Your hand hesitantly raised to reach out for him. His gaze didn’t stray from your own as you brought your hand to his face, a mix between a sigh and a sob leaving your throat as you felt the soft skin of his cheek touch your fingertips. He was wet and cold, but he was alive. A smile grew onto your face but it dropped just as Hyun-su’s began to form. You yanked your hand away as if his skin suddenly burned you, and it might as well have. You could see the hurt expression taking over his face but the feeling of the anger, betrayal, and grief flooding through your veins overpowered any feelings of remorse you might have felt. Taking a quick moment to look around for the child you saved, you let out a small sigh of relief when you saw her innocently watching the interaction between you and Hyun-su, breathing normally and sitting safe and sound on the grass.

“Take care of her for me, will you?” You asked him coldly, not waiting for an answer as you stood up and started speed walking in the opposite direction. 

“No, wa- wait!” He scrambled to stand up, calling after you as you ignored his advances. “Stop!” He finally caught up to you and wrapped his hand around your bicep gently, turning you around to face him. 

“What? What the fuck is so important that you finally feel the need to talk to me?” You let out a sob of a laugh as you ripped your arm away from him. You could slowly see the realization of why you were acting so angry and upset dawn on his face as guilt settled into his eyes. “You’ve gone this entire time being just fine as you save my life just to leave me there, alone, time and time again. So please - please - explain to me what is now so important you feel the need to reveal yourself to me.”

You looked at him expectantly as his mouth opened and closed, looking for an answer. He seemed to find it as he finally said, “I just… I really thought you died this time. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You looked at him, frustrated, for a moment before harshly scrubbing your palms over your eyes which were tearing up against your will. “So… what, after all the times you saved me, now you want to check on my safety?” Taking a deep breath, you forced your face to look calm, masking your anger for his sake so you could get out of this situation with as little hindrance as possible. You dropped your hands to your sides, your tears smeared across your face leaving it in a shiny glow. “Well thank you, Hyun-su, for your consideration,” you spoke the last word with bitterness lacing your tone that you could tell he caught as he winced softly. “But I am fine.”

You turned around, fully intent on heading back to the stadium when his hand wrapped around your bicep again. “What?” You asked angrily and turned around only to be pulled into a tight hug. You didn’t waste time in fighting his grip but he was relentless. “Let me go!” You screamed at him, although it was muffled by his shirt. “You’re such an asshole! I fucking mourned for you! I built a fucking memorial and brought a flower every single week without fail and yet you were never fucking dead! Why did you keep letting me think you were dead?” You were now pounding your fists into his chest, no longer resisting his embrace but expressing the built-up anger, sadness, grief, and self-loathing you felt every single day. It all stemmed solely from the way you hated yourself for not trying harder to save him. Not trying harder to resist Eun-hyuk when he told you and Eun-yu he would bring him back. “Was it you? Was it you every time I was stopped? Every time I was in danger, it was you who saved me, wasn’t it? What gave you the fucking right?” The crying started again. In turn, your hits became less and less powerful with each strike along with your screams gradually quieting. “Why did you have to leave me?” You sobbed out and let your head fall onto his chest as he buried his face in your hair. Your hands clutched onto his t-shirt as if trying to anchor him to you, scared that if you let him go, he would disappear again. Your knees gave out, exhausted by the emotional turmoil washing over you from the last five minutes. And so soon after death caressed you on the cheek too. Hyun-su caught you and slowly lowered the two of you to the ground, never once breaking the embrace. 

You sat in silence, only broken by the sound of your sobs as they slowly subsided. When you settled down, you spoke once more. 

“Did you know I was in love with you?” You didn’t feel any physical reaction from him that would express what he was feeling in that moment so you continued. “I never stopped. Loving you, I mean. I don’t think I ever will, but god, I hate you so much right now.”

There were a few silent beats where the only sound you could hear was the sound of his heartbeat against your ear until he spoke. 

“I didn’t think I would be able to handle seeing you again and find you with this exact reaction. By the time I left the military’s grasp, I tried to find you but then I saw you on that ledge.”

It surprised you and calmed your nerves all the same. 

“I knew I was just being a coward but I thought too much time had passed for me to just show up. Today was just a bit different.” He leaned back a bit to look at you and you did the same. He gave a small smile when he saw you again, with your wet eyes and glistening cheeks you looked wonderful. Even after sobbing your heart out, you were still the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. “My love, I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you, and I never stopped either,” he leaned in slowly so your foreheads rested against each other and your noses brushed. “And if you need time to stop hating me, I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

You looked into his radiating brown eyes as the last tear slipped from your own before bringing a hand up to cup his cheek once again. You let out a small laugh which he returned with an adoring smile. Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his in a soft, unhurried kiss. He slid a hand up from where it was pulling you into his embrace to rest against the back of your neck as he held you against him. When the both of you were smiling too much to continue the kiss, you leaned back just enough to stare into each other’s eyes. The adoration and love you had for each other would be clear for anyone to see from the way you gazed at each other.

You suddenly pushed forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close and hugging him once more. He sat still for a moment as he processed what you did only to wrap his arms around your waist. He hugged you just as tight and with just as much desperation as you did.

“God, I missed you so much,” you whispered into his ear and he sighed shakily into the spot where his face was buried in your neck. 

“I missed you too, so much. I’m so sorry for not coming back sooner.”

“Well, you’re here now, and that’s all that matters to me,” you reassured him and he physically relaxed, his shoulders untensing and him falling further into your embrace. 

The sound of the soft pattering of footsteps interrupted the moment you two were sharing. However, it was entirely welcome when you saw the little girl you had saved before standing beside you. You pulled away from Hyun-su, but not too far as he grabbed onto one of your hands. You smiled at him slightly, he was obviously just as starved of your touch as you were his.

“Hi there,” you told her gently when you turned back to her, not wanting to scare her in any way. “What’s your name?”

She looked down shyly, not answering until Hyun-su reached out to her with his hand. “It’s okay, she’s a good one,” he reassured her as he brushed some stray wet strands of her pin-straight black hair out of her face when her small hands were unable to. He took her hand and gently pulled her closer to the two of you. It made you smile as you saw them interact. The caring and soft way Hyun-su acted with her reminded you so much of a father interacting with his daughter.

It just made you love him even more.

He gave her one more nod of reassurance before she timidly introduced herself.

“M-my name is Ah-yi,” she stuttered out and you silently cooed at her adorable little shy smile. “Thank you for saving me, Miss.”

“Of course, Ah-yi, you are very welcome,” you gave her your own smile and some of her shyness seemed to fade away. You then gave her your name and she visibly brightened up. 

“You’re the princess!” You gave her a confused smile with a small laugh as she then began to explain. “Oppa’s told me stories about you! How you’re the princess of the big green castle and how he was a knight in shining armor who was saved by you, the warrior princess!” She talked animatedly with her hands swinging around wildly and her chest puffing out at the end to make her seem stronger. Your lips formed a big smile as you looked over at Hyun-su to see him lightly glaring at Ah-yi with a big blush coating his cheeks. 

“Ah, so you’ve told stories about me, have you?” You teased him and he looked at you before rolling his eyes. 

“Shut up,” he mumbled and you yelped as he yanked on your hand, sending you falling onto his chest with a loud laugh. 

You talked a bit more with Ah-yi, somehow ending with her laying her head in your lap as you leaned against Hyun-su with your back to his chest. The three of you watched the clouds, pointing out any shapes you could find and making up stories that Ah-yi seemed to love. Every time you looked over at Hyun-su, you could see all of his attention focused on you and how you interacted with the small child. 

Time seemed to fly as eventually, the sun started to fade into the distance, only leaving splotches of light shining through the leaves of the tall trees surrounding you. All three of you stood up and you glanced in the direction of the stadium with sad eyes. You couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Hyun-su yet. Even the thought of leaving the small girl you had grown strongly attached to in the past few hours broke your heart. Hyun-su seemed to sense your hesitation as he grabbed your hand. 

You looked back at him and he looked at you so fondly you felt like your heart might burst. With his thumb gently caressing your knuckles, he looked you in the eyes and said, “Stay. Stay with me. With us. You don’t have to go yet.”

He seemed just as desperate to make up for lost time with you as you were with him. His eyes widened and that smile you loved so dearly formed on his face when you nodded with little thought put into the decision. Pulling you closer with his arm circling your shoulders and one of yours circling his waist while the other hand reached out for Ah-yi to grab. She practically leaped at the opportunity.

“You ready, princess?” Hyun-su asked you in a soft teasing voice and you looked up at him with the same passionate smile gracing your lips. 

“Lead the way, my shining knight.”

~~~

Pt 2: Floating Above Those Dark Skies :)

[er-osion]

Haldir Headcanons

pairing: Haldir x gn!Reader

summary: relationship headcanons with Haldir of Lórien. [SFW]

word count: 789

warnings: none, fluff

∾∾∘⋅∗⋄⋆⋄∗⋅∘∾∾

- He is such a chill boyfriend.

- He’s the epitome of calm like 99% of the time and it really brings stability to your relationship.

- He seems pretty serious, and he is, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be fun. His humor is definitely dry, but once you get it, you get it and you’re always cracking up because he always makes the right joke at just the right moment.

- He can be pretty quiet so a lot of your time spent together will most likely be in comfortable silence.

- I think he’d prefer to show his love via quality time and words of affirmation. While his words of affirmation may not be spoken very often, they are always heavy with sincerity and very personal to you and your relationship.

- Haldir definitely likes using pet names like “my darling” or “meleth” or “sweetheart” and he uses them quite often, even in public. He also has nicknames for you that come from inside jokes, but he usually saves those for more private company.

- Haldir just loves spending time with you, he doesn’t care so much about what you’re doing, as long as you’re together. He’s happy just sitting quietly at home, doing your own things in the same room, or going out to do an activity. So long as the two of you are together, and you’re happy, he’s happy.

- Haldir likes to see you smile. Just seeing you smile brightens his day and makes him so much happier. He likes to tell you that your smile shines brighter than all the lights in Lothlórien. When he’s coming home from patrol, he’s actually looking forward to seeing your face while you're smiling. There’s something about the light in your face when you’re grinning that makes his heart pick up its pace.

- Haldir isn’t super great at communication though. Being quiet is his nature, and that can include his feelings. It’s kind of a slow start for you in getting him to open up. It still takes effort sometimes too, he just naturally keeps things to himself. This has been a point of some arguments, but both of you dislike fighting and understand what to do to avoid such things. So fortunately, actual arguments are few and far between.

- Haldir doesn’t like PDA. He’s quite professional and private so PDA doesn’t really mix with him. He doesn’t ignore or avoid you in public, just don’t expect big displays of affection because he’s not very comfortable with that. But, if the two of you have spent a lengthy amount of time apart, he’ll hold your hand in public and maybe even give you a chaste forehead kiss because he missed you.

- Haldir is surprisingly passionate, especially after he’s been away from you for a while. His passion can appear a little different though. For example, sometimes he’ll kiss you with desperate fervor and fire, but other times he’ll kiss you slowly and deeply but still with equal passion. His heart is always present in all his actions with you

- Haldir doesn’t drink a lot, but during festivals or other celebrations he’ll sometimes indulge and when he does, all he talks about is you. Haldir will drunkenly ramble about how pretty you are, how intelligent you are, how talented you are, etc etc. Those around him will find it equal parts endearing and annoying. His pale cheeks would be dusted with pink from both alcohol and thoughts of you.

- Haldir would be super happy with getting domestic with you. He loves those simple moments; getting groceries from the market, going shopping for your individual hobbies, doing the laundry, cooking. Haldir loves to be domestic with you.

- Haldir is very attentive to your needs. He may not say it or outwardly express it, but you can tell by his actions. If you’re sad, your favorite snacks will appear out of nowhere. If you ran out of supplies for a hobby or finished a book, new supplies or a new book will show up on your nightstand without a word. Whatever it is you need, Haldir notices and quietly takes care of it. He may not always be able to do it since he’s quite busy as Marchwarden, but when he has the chance, he takes care of all your needs.

- Haldir feels like he’s always falling in love with you. There will be moments when the two of you are together and he’ll just take you in and get that sensation of falling in love all over again. He’ll never get sick of it either, it’s one the greatest joys of his day.

- Haldir loves you so much, it’s a quiet kind of love but it’s strong all the same. He does everything he can to make sure you know that everyday. One of the things he’s proudest of in his life is his relationship with you. He prays to Eru that he’ll be with you until the end of Arda, so long as you’ll have him.

[ardentpoop]

If it's okay to ask: what are your thoughts on meg and sexual assault? I really dislike the way a lot of people on here talk about it (and meg, especially meg 2.0, in general) so I wanted to hear your view on it if you'd like to share!

not totally sure if you mean you’re bothered by how people discuss meg as a perpetrator or meg as a victim, because one could easily argue both. there are obvious allusions to rape re: meg possessing sam’s body in BUABS (just as every possession arc incorporates allusions to rape - most notably sam’s as he is at the heart of the majority of these arcs and also because well. The Roles.) and there are also of course the scenes where meg gets grabby with both sam and dean as a show of force.

I’m gonna assume however that you’re referring to people speaking about meg 2.0 in a demeaning manner and not recognizing the excessive misogynistic violence she is subjected to as a character, because come on. I know what this fandom is like. the two key episodes that come to mind for me are “caged heat” and “goodbye stranger.” gonna share some dialogue excerpts to get my point across, but you could even just count how many times dean refers to meg as a “bitch” in caged heat because it is frankly impressive that the writers (this one was tag-teamed by a duo and neither of them are familiar names) were so committed to it in just the one episode.

[caged heat]

notes on the above excerpts:

as with all demons who inhabit female vessels meg’s sexuality is a main ingredient of her characterization as a villain. she speaks overwhelmingly in slimy innuendo and flirtatious-quips-as-insults, she forcefully kisses and touches sam and dean without their consent, she is frequently referred to as a “whore” accordingly. it’s worth noting however that although in this episode meg weaponizes her sexuality (as expected for every character like her) against samndean while she supposedly has them tied up at her mercy, it is soon revealed that meg cannot actually harm samndean and is on the run from crowley - the brothers have the upper hand and her threats are ultimately empty. meg’s power is taken from her at the very start of this episode.

compare meg being tortured by crowley’s henchman to crowley being tortured by meg moments later within the same episode. she is naked and strapped down, she is being assaulted with a knife. the dialogue smacks you over the head with implied rape, as if the scene wasn’t brutal enough on its own. what does crowley get in return from meg, when he greets her as “whore” immediately after this assault scene? he gets to writhe around a bit on the floor, fully-clothed of course. “the best torturers never get their hands dirty,” huh? convenient!

on top of all this we for some reason also needed cas testing out his Porn Tricks on meg - which, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always kind of had a weird soft spot for megstiel (gay edit), but you have to admit that the timing and the context rankles. recurring Woman Character who doesn’t serve as a love interest or sexual interest for one of the boys is very hard to come by around here.

[goodbye stranger]

robbie thompson committed many sins with this (tbfh) godawful episode but what I want to point out here specifically is the continuation of meg being victimized by crowley. with bonus treat of sam being spoken to in the same sexually demeaning manner, as I suppose is only fair and right when both meg and sam were given the “wait outside while the men take care of business, frail maiden” treatment because thompson could not resist an opportunity to serve up dstiel bait that interfered with the structure and logic of the episode as well as with dean’s (and meg’s!) characterization.

TL;DR yeah uh the fans never talk about any of this because they’re too high on dstiel fumes to critique anything about the writing if they’re getting their tasty tasty little flavorless morsels from the like 3 guys on the writing team who were willing to feed them.

sorry for being mean but not really bc you guys are so annoying and dense about the already horrifically mistreated female characters on this show. wish I knew specifically what types of meg takes you don’t like anon so I could confirm whether they’re the ones that are a product of people despising female characters who “get in the way.”

[teyamsilly]

hey bby I luv ur works!! can u pls do jealous/possessive teyam?? maybe the reader was spending too much time with another guy and didn’t notice how it was making him feel. fluff ofc!

jealous neteyam

pairing: neteyam sully x omatikaya! reader tags & warning: oblivious reader, neteyam's patience was tested, feelings of anger and jealousy summary: your kindess was the one thing that neteyam loved but disliked at the same time. sometimes, you never notice when a guy is making approaches at you. he has heard that you made a new friend, but he didn't know that friend felt awfully comfortable around you. word count 1.3k index sevin - pretty, olo'eyktan - clan reader

my first request <3 i was really eager to write this. i hope you like it !! i've always pictured neteyam as a soft lover

You were in the healer's tent. Another woman was about to give birth, and Mo'at needed all the assistance she could get without leaving the tent unattended just in case someone needed help. So, you volunteered to stay behind.

However, you weren't alone. Vayem saw you and noticed that you were alone, then decided to accompany you. The two of you grew closer over the past days ever since he got injured badly from their hunt. 

Apparently, his party that was being led by Neteyam and they were in search for food to feed the whole clan. They were successful in retrieving food, but a palulukan spotted them and ferociously chased them. Vayem wasn't quick enough to avoid the animal completely, resulting him to recieve a gash on the back. Neteyam assissted him on walking towards the healer's tent, and there you were.

You and Vayem had never spoken to each other before simply because you never crossed paths. Maybe you did, but the two of you never took notice of each other. But after he got injured, Vayem visited more often with or without injuries. You appreciated the company, plus he wasn't boring to be around with.

Vayem always had something funny to say, a laugh escaping from your lips everytime. His hand would linger on your thigh longer than what friends would do, but you didn't think much of it like you would ever. He sent hints, even obvious ones to you, but you never noticed them.

Eventually, you thought of them as platonic actions. When he would put his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer so that you two could walk together, or when he would hold both of your hands when the two of you laughed hard at a story that he shared.

Everything seemed platonic to you.

Vayem snickered, "I swear, Lo'ak would make the Olo'eyktan's hair fall out soon."

"I know," you chuckled, nodding as you did so. "He's always been brave and adventurous."

He hummed, eyes trailing to your top. His eyebrows raised in curiousity. "Is that a new top?" asked Vayem.

"Yes! What do you think? I wanted to show Neteyam, but his father called him in."

Vayem met your eyes which were filled with anticipation, waiting for his judgement. He drifted his eyes down back to the top. You were always creative, there was no doubt about that. 

"You look beautiful," says Vayem. And he wished that this time you would take the hint when he looks back at you, but your eyes weren't looking at him. They were looking at what's above him, and they were shining brightly. He instantly knew who you were looking at.

"She is beautiful, isn't she?"

Vayem peered behind him, and saw Neteyam staring down at him. The Olo'eyktan's eldest son's sharp eyes spoke volumes, he was warning him.

You gleamed, "Neteyam!" You stood up from the ground, and jumped into his arms. 

He chuckled at your exuberance, wrapping his arms around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder, staring at Veyam, who had previously gotten up. When Neteyam's palm caressed your back until it rested just above your ass, Veyam tried to disguise his grimace.

Neteyam smirked.

You pulled away, your arms still around his neck. "I thought you were busy assisting your father?"

"I was, but he dismissed me early." He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. It started off soft, until his tongue slipped inside your mouth making you gasp.

With flushed cheeks, you pushed away. "Teyam, we're not the only people here," you whispered.

He shrugged without a care. "So? Maybe he should leave then."

You slapped his shoulder as you scolded, "Neteyam! Don't be rude."

Vayem cleared his throat, capturing your attention. He grinned and patted your shoulder. "It's okay. I will take my leave. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Neteyam glared at the hand that stayed on your shoulder. The audacity this boy have… to touch his girl right in front of him with no shame.

"See you, Vayem." You smiled. 

The two shared an intense glare as Vayem walked past him, and you were oblivious to the weird vibe they shared. 

"What do you think of my top?" You detached yourself from him, gesturing on the material with a proud look on your face. "Your mother gave me the feathers because she thought it would look good on me, and Tuk helped me find the beads to match it."

The thought of his sister and mother bonding with you caused a small smile to appear on his lips. It's one of the things he admires about you: you've effortlessly built a close friendship with his family. But the fact that he wasn't the first to notice you in this new material made his jaw clench.

"You and Vayem have gotten close," he pointed out as he fiddled with the feather on you.

You pouted when you haven't got an answer. "Yes, he's really funny."

Neteyam looked at you, jealousy written all over his face. "Oh? Have you been spending time without him when I'm not around?"

It took you quite a while to discover that something was wrong with the boy in front of you. He overlooked your question to begin with. Normally, he would shower you with compliments and affection. You couldn't figure out why he seemed agitated.

"Yes." You nodded slowly, eyeing him carefully. "Sometimes, he assists me with finding the herbs that I need in the forest. Most of the time, he stays with me here when I'm alone."

Neteyam scoffed in disbelief. He shook his head, a sarcastic laugh escaping from his lips. You only looked at him with confusion. "Neteyam?"

"He has no shame. His advances are obvious."

"Advances?" you pinched your eyebrows together. "He does not like me. He's only a friend."

"You are naive, sevin, if you think he wants to be your friend."

"I am not!" You crossed your arms defensively, turning away from him. Vayem may have been acting sweet towards you, but he was just being a gentleman. Right?

Neteyam sighed and placed his hand on your shoulder, moving to stand beside you. "Look, I don't mind if you have guy friends. But, sevin, these guys don't just want to be your friend. Did you see the way Vayem told you how beautiful you were?" 

You looked at him with a teasing smile. "I feel priviledged to know that the mighty warrior jealous of men interacting with me."

"I trust you, I don't trust them."

You wrapped your arms around his torso, basking in his scent. Neteyam instantly engulfed you in his arms, leaning the side of his head against yours.

"I think I've knew all this time that Vayem liked me. I just didn't want to assume he did because I would be embarrassed if I spoke to him, and he tells me that he only sees me as a friend," you admitted. Your skin tingled as his palm stroked against your back, your tail standing tall.

"Sevin, if only you knew how many warriors wanted you before I had you."

You looked up, grinning at him. "Yeah? I only have eyes for one, though. The mightiest one of them."

Neteyam chuckled, his cheeks turning into a light blush. He was sure that you could hear his heart beating fast, and it made your smile widened. Eywa, that smile. The people would think that you were lucky to be chosen by him, but he begs to differ. 

Your heart was filled with kindness and love. How much you give isn't limited to the people closest to you, and Neteyam considers himself special to recieve the most of your affection.

"From now on, I'm asking Lo'ak or Kiri to stay by your side," he declared, but you knew he was joking.

"Oh, yes, because Lo'ak would make a great guard."

"Or Tuk. She bites, you know?"

"Neteyam!"

[dearsnow]

Can I ask for the spider-verse cast's love language? Who likes to give gifts (hand made or bought) ? Who loves physical touch?

THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES (SPIDERVERSE)

- headcanons for how the spiderverse characters express their love (spiderverse x gn!reader)

a/n - i love writing about the love languages :) which do you guys prefer? (i’m a physical touch girlie myself)

There is nothing HOBIE likes more than quality time. Bringing you to concerts, exploring the deepest parts of the city, and simply doing nothing with you is how he likes to show his love. To him, a relationship is more meaningful when you really, truly like spending time with your partner. As Spider-Man, he doesn’t have the most time in the world to spare, but he’ll do anything possible to make what little time he has meaningful.

MIGUEL would do anything for his cause, and therefore his love language is acts of service. He’ll do the chores, make you a meal, and water the plants before you even wake up. He will stop at nothing to make you comfortable. It’s both for himself and you, as he feels that he must be useful for you to reciprocate the emotions he feels so deeply. When you perform acts of service for him, he thinks his heart might break from how much love is coursing through it.

PAVITR absolutely loves buying you gifts. Anything you could ever think to want is in the palms of your hands soon after you mention it, with his dopey grin staring you in the face. Even when he doesn’t exactly have the most money to spare, he’ll make you gifts or save up to buy you something simple. He knows all of your favorites, likes, and dislikes, and gives you gifts according to them. When you give him gifts, he is so touched and fawns over whatever you got him for weeks.

MILES always makes an effort to encourage you with his words. Written or spoken, words of affirmation is his weapon in the war of love. He’ll text you his thoughts, send you letters filled with scrawled notes, and sneak in through your window just to tell you something just because his mind is bursting at the seams with words. If you reciprocate these words, he will melt the moment he hears them.

Even though it isn’t obvious, GWEN craves physical touch. She’s not one to express her innermost feelings without a ton of prompting, but she shows it through arm punches and ruffling your hair and holding your hand. She loves being close enough to touch you, as this kind of intimacy is the only kind she truly knows. When you reach out to brush the hair out of her face or tug on her arm, her heart starts beating a mile a minute.

[carmillascrusade]

Game of love | Larissa Weems x f!reader

Images do not belong to me. Summary: Parents weekend is upon you and you find yourself at the fair with Morticia and Larissa. Confessions ensue.

Word count: 2,940

A/N: I figured I would post this fic that I wrote donkeys ago while I’m working on a multi-chapter fic. It isn’t proofread😨 I feel like my writing style just changes all the time and I can’t get it to be consistent.

Your desk was overflowing with paperwork and unfinished report cards, the sheer size of the work you know you have to do was overwhelming. Dull flames danced in the fireplace, licking the fresh log you put in there a couple of seconds ago, eventually setting it alight. Tiny particles of ash blew around the room, weightlessly floating around, suspended by the air encompassing the room. Oh, what it would feel like to be weightless and free. 

Parents weekend was fast approaching. In two days parents of all would be congregating in the school and the local town- much to the displeasure of the sheriff, and yourself. Two days. You had a measly two days to finish off your work and all the report cards that sat mocking you on your desk. 

With a sigh, you accepted your fate and began to silently plough on with your work. Hoping, no praying, that parents weekend wouldn’t drag. After all, there is only so much socialising you can do. 

Parents weekend came faster than you expected. From the frosted window of your office, you could see cars pouring in through the front gates. Hopefully nobody you went to school with would be here. 

Checking the mahogany grandfather clock that sat in the corner of your office, you glanced at the warped needles to determine that it was only 4 o’clock. Plenty of time to get these reports to Larissa. 

Gathering the pristine envelopes in a bundle, you dashed to Larissa’s office hoping that none of the parents had made their way just yet. 

To your dismay, as well as Larissa’s by the fall of her face, you entered her office as Morticia Frump and her family were there. Huffing softly, you crossed the room with the intent of handing Larissa the reports and leaving as soon as possible. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Morticia, no, she had been your friend during your years at Nevermore together. It was just that you hadn’t spoken to her in years since her marriage, and her presence meant that her husband was here too. Gomez Addams, you thought with distaste. You disliked the man, loathed him even; Larissa had loved him unconditionally and he chose someone else. Who wouldn’t choose Larissa?

Maybe you were just biassed. Maybe your hatred came from the fact that she loved him and not you. Loved him even though you had always been by her side. Loved him even though you have loved her since you were children and never stopped. 

Larissa is the sun, and your life revolves around her; because without her, you wouldn’t be alive. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Morticia’s silky smooth voice calling your name, claiming that she hadn’t seen you in years but you still look exactly the same. 

Forcing out a smile at her clearly fake interest in you, you replied. “Yes, I haven’t seen you since you left Nevermore and got married. You still look as wonderful as ever, Morticia. The gods have been kind.” 

“Hmm, I suppose they have. But look at you! The gods have certainly been kind there.” She said, sickly sweet, whilst her eyes roamed up and down your body. 

Larissa’s mouth twitched at that, her perfect smile falling ever so slightly before being abruptly put back in place. She coughed in impatience, dragging both yours and Morticia’s attention towards her. 

“Might I remind you that we are here to talk about your daughter, Ms Addams.” Larissa said with a clipped tone. 

Morticia laughed at that, gliding over to you and placing her arm on your elbow. “We have all weekend to talk about Wednesday, Larissa. I just want to catch up with my friend. Is that so wrong?”

“No, I suppose not.” She huffed, aggravated at Morticia’s audacity to touch you. 

Morticia grinned wickedly at her before turning back to you. “Would you like to go to the fair with me tonight?” She asked, still sporting that sickening grin. 

You pondered her request. While it would be fun to catch up with her, you also knew that she had a deeper motive. She was playing a game that you would rather not play a part in. 

“I suppose we could go to the fair tonight,”

“Oh wonderful!”

“On one condition,”

Her smile fell at that and her eyes narrowed dangerously. “And what is that?” She gritted out. 

“I want to invite Larissa too!” You chirped. If you were going to play this game, you may as well have fun whilst doing so. 

You glanced over at Larissa, smiling wistfully. If only she loved you the way you loved her. 

Morticia huffed at your request, agreeing and inviting Larissa to the fair with the two of you. Fully expecting Larissa to turn down the opportunity in favour of working, you were pleasantly surprised when she agreed; her tone still clipped as she answered Morticia. 

Excited at the prospect of getting to spend time with Larissa outside of the school grounds, you quickly gave her your finished reports, fingers lightly brushing against her own, causing your cheeks to tint pink at the heat radiating off them. Excusing yourself from the room, you made your way back to your room with an extra bounce in your step. The glee radiating off of you noticed by all that passed. 

Tonight was going to be amazing. 

The temperature had dropped drastically since this afternoon, resulting in you looking like a stuffed chicken in your winter clothes. You had decided to wear your favourite jumper, an egg shell coloured woven piece crafted of the finest wool; gifted to you by Larissa of course. 

A small vibration in your pocket alerts you to a message. Pulling your phone out proved to be a great difficulty with your frozen fingers. Larissa had messaged you, letting you know that she and Morticia were sitting on the table closest to the entrance. 

Easy enough to find you supposed. 

Plodding over to the entrance, your eyes scanned the area, desperately searching for the familiar platinum blonde hair you loved so much. Your eyes lit up as you spotted her with Morticia. They seemed to be sat contesting in a nonverbal contest, staring at each other with such contempt that the average onlooker would recoil in fear. 

Rolling your eyes, you slid onto the bench next to Larissa; snapping the women’s attention towards you, eliciting beaming smiles from the both of them. Smiling back, you looked at the outfits the other two were wearing to find that you were the only one dressed appropriately for this weather. 

Huffing in discontent, you eyed both of them wearily. What kind of people don’t wear coats in freezing weather?! It is ridiculous! 

“How aren’t you two freezing?” You blurred out, narrowing your eyes at Morticia specifically. At least Larissa had a blazer on, Morticia just had her iconic dress adorning her body. 

Morticia just laughed at you whilst Larissa offered you a small smile. “My blazer is warm enough for me. Not all of us need to wear twenty layers to stay warm.” She said, lightly joking about your inability to stay warm. 

Your turned your head away from her in false anger before spotting the burger van. Larissa loved burgers. “Larissa!”you shouted excitedly while tugging on her arm. “Look, there’s a burger van! Do you want a burger?” 

Larissa saw the excitement on your face at the prospect of buying her a burger. Unable to deny you, she nodded her head. Beaming at her, you shot out of your seat and bounced over to the burger van. 

She looked over at you fondly. Ignoring Morticia’s prescense completely in favour of watching your retreating form. Morticia wasn’t too pleased at the disregard of her presence, so she decided to start her plan. 

“So,” she drawled. “Do you really think she loves you back, Larissa?” 

Larissa’s eyes narrowed at that, sensing the thinly veiled  threat Morticia had laced into her words. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She snapped back. 

“Oh, but I think you do. You look at her like she holds the world in her hands. Only a fool would miss it.” 

“I do not.”

“Very well. Let’s make a bet, shall we?” Morticia paused, waiting for an answer. Seeing that Larissa was refusing to speak to her, she continued on anyway. “I bet that by the end of the night, she will be looking at me the way you look at her.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Larissa countered, praying to the gods that they wouldn’t let Morticia take something else away from her. 

“Then I’ll leave you two alone. Deal?” 

“I’m not making petulant bets with you, Morticia. Especially over her.” Larissa seethed, angered by the fact that Morticia would even dare use you in her childish games. 

Glancing over to the side, Larissa saw you bounding back with her burger and two trays of chips in hand. The fact that you hadn’t bought anything for Morticia amused her greatly, eliciting a slither of hope that, just this once, Larissa wouldn’t lose somebody she loved to Morticia Frump. 

You sidled back into the bench next to Larissa, handing her the chips you bought her along with her burger. You had bought her her usual order and yourself some chips. Larissa’s chips were adorned with tomato sauce in the corner whilst yours had vinegar slathered all over them. 

Reaching out to grab a chip, you realised that you forgot to get Morticia anything. Eyes widening at your brief amnesia, you shot her a sheepish look across the table, hoping that she wasn’t too offended. 

Morticia sat with a scowl, arms folded across her chest as she stared at the two of you. Larissa smirked back at her, waving her burger around; the silent message was clear. You had bought Larissa food and not Morticia. 

It wasn’t until you began eating before you realised that Morticia didn’t have anything to eat. Was she expecting you to buy her something? Shrugging your shoulders you figured that she just wasn’t hungry. 

Turning to Larissa, you asked her a question. “What are we going to do first, Rissa?” 

“Hmm,” she hummed, mouth still full of food. Deciding to tease you slightly, she chewed on for a while, pretending to be deep in thought; causing you to stare eagerly with those doe eyes she loved dearly. “ I think that we should go to the darts stall. I would be honoured to win you a teddy.” 

Your squeal of excitement broke through the crisp night air, scaring the previously resting birds causing them to chirp restlessly at the disturbance. Smiling up sheepishly at them, you shouted a quick apology before throwing yourself into Larissa. “Please, Larissa! Please win me a teddy!! I will love you for all eternity, I love teddies!” 

Shooting a dazzling smile your way as you hung on her arm, chest pressed flush against her body, she sneered at Morticia across the table. You wanted HER to win you a teddy, not Morticia. 

Not one to lose a challenge so quickly, Morticia rose, drawing your attention. “Well,” she started, seething because you were still holding onto Larissa. “Shall we make our way to the darts stand? I’m sure I could win you a larger teddy than Larissa.” 

“We will see, Ms Addams.” 

Tensing slightly at the tension between the two, you pulled on Larissa's arm- directing her over to the darts stand. A few games in Larissa won you a medium dragon teddy. It was black with iridescent purple scales and big bulging eyes. You loved it dearly, holding it to your chest as you watched Morticia play. 

You both watched Morticia intensely as she threw each dart. Each of them hitting the bullseye. Larissa’s smile fell as she watched the games handler grab a giant panda to give to Morticia; her prize now feeling insufficient. 

Morticia smiled triumphantly, outdoing Larissa was her favourite way to pass time. Handing you the panda, she shot a smug look at Larissa and her downcast eyes. 

You grabbed the bear off Morticia and gave her a small smile, too engrossed in the dragon Larissa won you to care about the oversized panda. 

Morticia waltzed off, claiming that she wants to go on the ferris wheel next. You turned around to look at Larissa, the oversized panda dangling dangerously close to the floor while you clutched your dragon. Larissa’s eyes were hung low, a wounded expression singed on her face. 

“Rissa? What’s wrong?” You asked. 

“It’s silly really. No need to worry, sweetheart.” She touched your chin slightly, angling it up so she could smile down at you. 

Your heart pounded in your chest at the pet name she gave you. Beaming up at her, you reached for her arm, tugging her lightly towards the ferris wheel. She would tell you what was bothering her when she was ready. 

You and Larissa arrived at the ferris wheel to greet an angry Morticia, apparently displeased at your refusal to trail after her like a lovesick puppy. Her eyes flicked to your panda trailing across the floor, eyes narrowing at you clutching Larissa’s teddy to your chest. 

Huffing slightly, she motioned for you and Larissa to get on the cart. Larissa sat down first, patting the seat next to her, motioning for you to sit next to her. Plopping down next to her, you shuffled as close as you could; holding your dragon on your lap, placing the panda between you and Morticia- much to her displeasure. 

Carnival lights glistened peacefully as the whirring of the ferris wheel drowned out the laughs of joy from below. Larissa’s breath was coming out in slow puffs, visible due to the cold chill of the night air. She was far more beautiful than any other woman. The prettiest to ever exist. 

The top of the ferris wheel was far higher than you were expecting, triggering your fear of heights. Sensing an oncoming panic attack, you grabbed hold of Larissa’s hand as you were in desperate need of grounding. Noticing your inner turmoil, Larissa rubbed soothing circles over your hand, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. 

With Larissa help you calmed down. Desperately wishing that the ferris wheel would end shortly, you closed your eyes and rested your head on Larissa’s shoulder; still grasping her hand dearly, unable to let go of the comfort she provides. 

The ride ended not long later and you got off with wobbly legs and tear stained cheeks, still clutching Larissa’s hand. Morticia watched you with a mix of rage and jealousy. Why hadn’t her plan worked? Not one to back down so easily, she sauntered up to you, offering you a ride home in her car. 

Politely, you declined. Stating that Larissa had already offered. You watched as Morticia’s level headed facade began to crack, her face twisting in anger as she finally accepted that her plan had failed. Swiftly turning on her heel, she stomped out of the fair without even saying goodbye. 

You turned to Larissa confused as she smiled down at you. Why had Morticia reacted that way? Shrugging your shoulders, you let Larissa tug you towards her car- you were in desperate need of a break from all the walking. 

Sitting down in the leather seats of Larissa’s car, you placed your dragon in your lap and the panda by your feet. Shooting a smile at Larissa, you placed your seatbelt on and turned towards the window. The full vibrations and the quiet whispering ls of the radio lulling you into a deep slumber. 

Pale wisps of sunlight filtered through the closed curtains, arousing you from your slumber. The familiar scent of Larissa filled your senses as you suddenly became aware of the weight on your stomach. Slithers of silver, platinum blonde hair fanned around your face, perfectly manicured nails spread over your stomach, and a warm body pressed up against your back. 

Turning around, you were greeted with Larissa beautiful face; mouth open and eyes closed, mumbling about something in her sleep. Giggling softly, you leant closer into to her and inhaled her scent. Not wanting to wake her up, you reached for your phone, took a picture of the both of you, and waited for her to wake. 

You could feel the moment she woke since her grip tightened as she became aware of her surroundings. Raising your head off of her chest, you greeted her with a blinding smile, to which she returned. 

The velvety hues of her groggy voice filled the air as she spoke to you. “ You stayed?” She questioned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. 

“Of course I stayed. Why wouldn’t I?”

“ I figured you would be disgusted sharing a bed with me.” She admitted. 

“Of course I wouldn’t, Rissa. Only a fool would be disgusted at sharing a bed with you.” You replied with earnest. 

“Is that so?” She hummed. “And why is that?” 

“Because, you’re the most beautiful woman in the entire world. You radiate grace and elegance. And I find myself utterly enraptured with you.”

“You do?” She asked, her face contorted in confusion. “Why on earth would somebody be enraptured with me?”

“Because I love you, Larissa. I have always loved you. I wake up and you’re the first thing on my mind. I sleep and all I dream about is you. You’re the highlight of my life and I could never live without you.”

“Well then. It’s a good job I find myself utterly and hopeless in love with you too, isn’t it?” 

A/NII: Can’t wait for the Christmas holidays so I don’t have to do anything for two weeks.

[chosos-mascara]

don't leave

𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙞 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 - two years after your break up and ditched on a night out, you're left alone with levi in a bar.

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - bartender! levi, ex! levi, alcohol use (mild), condom use, make up sex tbh

1.5k words

You were conscious of the fact your ex had worked in this bar. A place all of your friends had loved, and perhaps you had once too - but things were different. Two years on and you couldn't keep feigning excuses not to come on an innocent girls night, begrudgingly accepting the invitation and swallowing your fears. 

"Your friends ditched you?" The bartender's voice pulled you from the slump you'd been within. What was supposed to be a fun night had ended when each of your friends had left with a fling on hip and smile over face. Being the one left behind had soured both your mood and self-image, and with one last drabble of hope, you came to sit on a bar stool and order a drink. 

The place hadn't been too crowded (though, crowded enough for three separate women to find a one-night stand), and on the edge of the bar where you'd perched yourself, you'd been able to speak with the bartender clearly. 

"Don't say it like that," You'd spoken, nail absentmindedly circling the polished bartop. "I'm a big girl." You were sure alcohol had aided with your social skills within this situation, though the liquid courage had faded with time and you were left without the pleasant buzz. 

Glancing up, you met his eye - an awkward parting of lips when recognizing  the face you'd least wanted to see. Levi, the man you'd spent the past two years crying over had been stood so casually behind the bar, striking a conversation with you as if he hadn't broken your heart all that time ago. Perhaps, he'd forgotten, though you could see the hint of concern within such a stoic expression. You knew Levi too well to know he wouldn't go out of his way to help a stranger, or someone he'd disliked. Perhaps his perceptiveness to your situation hadn't been by chance. 

"But to leave a woman alone on a Friday night - a friend... That's not okay." You'd met with his eyes, the black hairs of his curtain bangs swaying over grey as he'd leaned on the countertop beside you. 

"They're having fun, it's fine." You sighed, finally resting head upon hand. "Can I get a rum and coke?" The thought of alcohol hadn't really soothed you, yet you hadn't wanted the small interaction to end. You'd understood he'd probably get back to other customers once he'd realized you were practically sober, and safe. 

"I'm not serving you alcohol if you're alone." He'd spoken while taking out a glass, turning to a tap before pouring clear liquid to the top. "Have some water."  You sighed, about to protest, but when looking back to his stern expression you'd felt the fire die on your tongue. For someone you'd felt so passionate about, you couldn't find it in you to fight. Maybe, you'd just changed over the years. 

"Do you have someone who can take you home?" He'd asked as you'd slowly sipped the drink, a sudden realization you'd been more dehydrated than you'd previously thought.  "Not unless you're coming home with me." The words were supposed to come off as a joke, yet when you watched his expression turn to apprehension, you'd realized they hadn't.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line-" Raising your hands defensively, you'd prepared yourself for the worst.  "How much have you drank tonight?" He'd questioned with a serious expression, and you'd furrowed a brow.  "Uh," Thinking back to the limited time you'd spent with friends, you searched for an answer. "Two singles. And that was almost two hours ago." 

"Okay, then." 

You'd learned Levi's shift had been finishing up when you'd sat alone at the bar, and he'd planned on calling you a taxi, but your proposition would ease his state of mind. Truly, he'd intended on walking you home and leaving, but when you'd pressed your body to his and caressed his hair so gently, he found himself unable to leave. He couldn't see past the memories that had plagued his mind for the past 24 months - especially the ones post-breakup. When he'd had to drop your things back and you'd sobbed through the entire interaction, or when he'd heard you'd gotten a promotion and he'd felt a sudden nausea realizing he hadn't been there to support you. 

Levi was a complex man, you'd understood that. He hadn't been ready to open up with such a heavy past, and the longer he'd allowed you to stay in his life, the closer he'd felt that day would come. Really, leaving was an act of cowardice and something he'd regretted in later years, but at the time he'd been so afraid of love he'd simply decided to run from it. 

Seeing you in the bar had made him realise he hadn't gotten over you. Your smile, laugh and only the way you'd presented yourself had been something he'd fallen in love with. He'd seen each of your friends up and leave, and the sadness etch over your face in such a painful presentation. 

Then, there was the way you'd caressed him. With your fingers through his hair, your lips hovering against his, he'd realized how much he'd missed you. 

He'd closed what had been your own reluctant gap, pressing his mouth against yours and holding each cheek in hand. 

You'd drank him in, a needy locking of lips and swipes of tongue as he'd pushed you through your apartment, bedroom in mind. He'd needed you, longing to feel you against him, your warmth transferring to what he'd felt to be his cold heart. 

His hands had scaled your body, large grasp squeezing thigh, fingers brushing under fabric. When you'd lifted yourself to remove the dress you'd worn, he'd mirrored the action, shirt thrown to floor. He'd pressed his bare skin to yours as he'd continued on your lips, making up for lost time. 

A hand had trailed down between thigh, tips of fingers caressing the thin layer of panties. Levi could feel your wetness through the cotton, but massaged you through the fabric all the same. He'd wanted to work you up, to hear you plead for more friction through your own desperate need for him. 

And finally, when you'd whispered please through shaking breath, he'd pushed the dainty underwear to one side and given you what you'd wanted. The pad of fingers brushed your clit delicately at first, though as ingrained within his memory, Levi had soon changed his pace. The circles had you moaning beneath him, head pressed harshly on pillow and eyes squeezing closed as he'd built you up. 

"Feels good?" The question had been one he'd burned to ask and built himself up to voice, though when you'd nodded profusely while stuttering your reply, he'd been thankful for the plunge. His fingers swirled around you, collecting the arousal slick to skin before pushing his middle finger into you, a test of the waters before adding the ring. You'd writhed beneath him, a whine from lips and buck of hips, and Levi had allowed a small smile to set over his expression before leaning down to kiss you once more. 

"Need you." The words were barely audible though had rang in his ears, a flush of red over the tips. When he removed his fingers you'd sighed, teeth grazing lip as he'd rolled the condom over length and lined himself between your legs. 

The first push in had caused a groan to erupt from the deepest parts of his chest, slipping the entire length to have abdomen to yours, withdrawing with ease before edging himself to base again. You watched his movements through half-lidded eyes, in a lust driven daze but conscious to watch as he'd worked himself inside of you, the sheen of sweat forming over forehead, the way his abs clenched when you'd squeeze around him. Levi would speed up a little before filling you to hilt and holding himself inside you - a temporary cock warming to last only a few seconds. 

Your back arched against the mattress and Levi slipped an arm beneath the gap, bringing your chest to his and placing a kiss over your forehead. His lips grazed you as his hips pressed to yours, a soft grunt voiced against your skin before he slid back. He left open mouthed kisses to trail down the supple flesh, nipping when at your neck. You had allowed quiet moans and whimpers to praise his movements, and Levi had enjoyed every sound. 

"Missed you." His voice was low, whispered delicately into your ear, subtle rocks inside of you as your heart had fluttered at his confession. Had this been true? 

"I missed you too." For a few moments, you'd been left to stare breathlessly into one another's eyes, his arm still snug beneath your torso and holding you close. Levi locked his lips with yours before the languid pace picked up again, your own fingers reaching to entwine with his hair. You held him close, kisses sloppy while he'd worked with you. 

When Levi had allowed himself to fall, a slightly more vocal high than he'd like to admit - he held you close. Groans flowed from his mouth to yours, grip over you tightening as he'd spilled his seed into the latex barrier. When he'd grounded himself, he remained close, forehead against yours with breaths synchronized. 

"Don't leave." The plea had slipped from you before you'd told yourself to refrain from voicing concern, though when he'd laughed, breath fanning over your face, you'd felt at ease.  "Wasn't planning on it." 

[thebadgerclan]

Hatred

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: A visit from the Dowager Queen...

Tatiana Lantsov had never liked you.  You were too bold, too outspoken, too independent; a woman with a mind of her own, a woman who wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself.  A woman who was not worthy of her precious Nikolai, you’d heard her say that yourself.  But Nikolai didn’t care, he saw a beautiful, independent, fierce woman whose affection he was lucky to have earned.

The former Queen fought your marriage at every turn, going so far as to feign hysterics when Nikolai proposed.  Tatiana would have objected at the wedding too if Nikolai hadn’t threatened to revoke her invitation.  What made it worse was that you tried so hard to earn her approval, but to no avail.  You dressed in her preferred style, you attended salons with her ladies, you were quiet, demure, only speaking when spoken to.  But you might as well have done nothing, as Tatiana still despised you.

When she was sent away towards the end of the war, you were secretly giddy.  It was a tumultuous time; your husband being crowned, both of you figuring out your new roles as King and Queen, stitching Ravka back together–your mother-in-law’s criticism was the last thing you needed.  But all good things must come to an end.

“Darling,” Nikolai entered your study, lacking his usually buoyant attitude.  “This just arrived.  I wanted you to see it first.”  Your husband handed you a letter which bore the Lantsov Royal Seal, and you cocked your head as you unfolded it.  My darling Sobachka, it read.  I must confess disappointment; I thought you would have invited me to the Palace for a visit by now.  I understand the initial months of your reign were busy, but you’ve settled into the Crown now, surely you can set aside some time for your Mother?

I won’t harp on it, though.  I write to tell you that I will be arriving at the Palace just after the feast of Sankta Neyar.  I wanted my visit to be a surprise, but I believe Y/N could use some time to prepare.  I have been keeping up with the goings on in Os Alta, Nikolai, and I must say, I am impressed.  Your Y/N has done well, especially for a girl of near-common blood.  But…she could benefit from my knowledge.  Her summit with the wives of the Kerch merchant council?  A disaster!

I miss you, my son.  Two years with nothing more than letters.  You would not believe the conditions here!  But I digress, I won’t bore you with the lack of accommodations.  If the post is swift, I shall see you a week after you receive this letter.  I love you, Nikolai.  -Madraya.  You set down the paper, anger flickering in your eyes.  “I could ‘benefit from her knowledge’?” you said, rising from your desk.  “She’s impressed?  Nikolai, I–”  “I know, love, I know.  We can’t turn her away, and she’s likely already departed.”

Your husband knew of his mother’s dislike for you, and while you were courting, he’d done everything he could to shield you from her cold words.  Nikolai had spoken to her at length about the issue; how you were a wonderful girl, how in love with you he was, how she was being unnecessarily harsh.  But Tatiana persisted.  Her treatment of you had been part of his decision to send her away–of course he cared for his mother’s safety, and of course he loved her.  But Nikolai loved you more, and if she would cause you distress, he would do whatever he could to prevent it.

You sighed, your head in your hands.  “Nikolai, I know she’s your mother, and I know you love her, but she hates me!  I can only imagine what she’ll find to nit-pick at when she’s here!”  Your husband rounded your desk and knelt before you, taking your hands in his.  “She will do no such thing, because I won’t let her.  Y/N, my love, you are a perfect Queen, I don’t care what anyone else says.  The people adore you, I adore you, and I will remind you every single day of how wonderfully you’re doing.”

“Was my summit with the merchers’ wives that bad?”  Your husband scoffed.  “No, my love, it went off without a hitch,  She’s just being critical, unjustly so.  Y/N, sweetheart, look at me.”  You did, seeing only love and adoration in his eyes.  “You are the Queen I chose, you are the woman I chose, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone make you feel less than that.”  “Even your mother?”  Nikolai nodded, kissing your knuckles.  “Especially my mother.  And when she arrives, you will be exactly who and what you are:  My perfect, beautiful, beloved Queen.”

***

Nerves consumed you the morning of the Dowager Queen’s arrival, and Nikolai did his best to soothe and comfort you.  “She won’t say anything,” he said, kissing your hand as the two of you entered the parlor where you’d be receiving her.  “I’ll make sure of it.”  You tried not to pace, but only a few minutes after you entered the parlor, an attendant opened the door.  “Announcing Her Royal Highness, the Dowager Queen, Tatiana Lantsov.”

She swept in, her train of blue silk trailing behind her.  “Nikolai!” she cried, hurrying to her son and embracing him. Despite your history, you couldn’t begrudge her this: she was his mother, a mother who missed her son.  “And Y/N.  You look��well.” Your wardrobe had been selected intentionally: purple silk and tulle, a color formerly reserved for royalty; a crown of amethyst–the second rarest gemstone in Ravka to the emerald–atop your head.  White silk gloves adorned your hands, your wedding and engagement rings on your left hand, the Lantsov Emerald on your right.

The message was clear: you were the Queen, not Tatiana, your position commanded respect.  “Thank you, Tatiana,” you replied coolly.  “I must say, we were not expecting you to visit.”  The Dowager sat, breaking a dozen protocols in the process.  “Yes, well, when I didn’t receive an invitation from Nikolai, I took matters into my own hands.  Oh, before I forget, Nikolai, you must have your footmen review proper titles.  All day they’re been calling me ‘Your Royal Highness’!”

“Because that is your title,” you said.  “You are a Dowager Queen, not the wife of the current monarch.  ‘Your Most Royal Majesty’ is reserved for the monarch and their spouse.”  Tatiana bristled.  “Nikolai, are you going to allow her to–”  “I don’t allow Y/N to do anything,” he interjected.  “She does as she pleases.  And she is correct.”  You could feel the irritation rolling off of her, but she let the topic drop.

Conversation turned to lighter subjects: legislation being passed, the latest court gossip, Nikolai’s inventions.  It was painfully obvious that Tatiana became irritated by your contributions to the conversation, and Nikolai noticed.  He kept your hands in his, squeezing gently when she rolled her eyes or muttered under her breath.  You could do this, you could endure her for another few hours.  Or so you thought.

“...And I’ll be hosting a charity dinner next month benefitting children orphaned by the war.”  “Oh, that’s wonderful, dear!” Tatiana responded, not a hint of irritation in her voice.  “I’d be more than happy to come back to help you plan!”  “There’s no need for that,” you said.  “I assure you I have everything under control, but I appreciate your offer.”  “After the fiasco with the Kerch?” she muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.  “I don’t think so.”

You were just about to retort, to let your temp fly, when Nikolai stood.  “That is enough!” he shouted, stunning both you and Tatiana into silence.  “I will not tolerate you berating and disrespecting my wife anymore.”  “Nikolai,” his mother said, her tone that of one soothing a petulant child.  “Surely this is–”  “No, Mother!  From the very first, you have had something against Y/N.  First she was too low-born, then she was too outspoken, then she was too independent, then her gowns were ‘whorishly scandalous’.  You’ve never liked her, and I cannot piece together why, but I’m beyond caring.  It ends now.”

Tatiana rose as well.  “Nikolai, please!  I have only ever wanted what’s best for you, and what’s best for the Crown!  You could have had anyone!  A duke’s daughter, an heiress to a ruby mine!  But you chose this?”  “Yes, Mother!  I chose Y/N!  I chose the woman I love, the woman who never made me feel like I was less than because I was a second son!”  “You deserve more!  Deserve better!”

Nikolai was seething with rage, and he felt the demon writhing within him.  “She loves me!  I love her!  Why is that not enough?  Why has my happiness never been enough for you?”  You watched with a shocked expression: you’d never seen your husband so upset, so angry, and despite the tension of the situation, your heart fluttered to know he would go to such lengths to defend you.

“Of course your happiness is important to me!” Tatiana replied.  “But when you insisted on courting her, I had to question your long term plan!  I had made peace with it, you know?  You marrying the daughter of a low-born baronet.  You were never meant for the throne!  But then your father was murdered….and Vasily, and suddenly she was Queen.  The girl had no training, her manners were unfit for a Queen, she–”

“Enough!”  Nikolai’s shout made Tatiana fall silent.  “You forget your place.”  “I forget–”  “Y/N is not only my wife, but she is your Queen, and I will not stand for you disrespecting her in either capacity.  I have never cared about Y/N’s status, never cared about her manners, I care about her!  And for years, you have tormented her, made her feel unworthy, and I won’t stand for it any longer.

“Either change your attitude, start treating Y/N with respect, or get out.”  Tatiana looked scandalized.  “You would kick me out of my own home?”  “This is not your home!  It’s ours, mine and Y/N’s.  I don’t expect you to love her, I don’t even expect you to like her.  But this treatment needs to stop, and it needs to stop now.”  The Dowager Queen remained silent, and Nikolai took it as an answer enough.  “Guards!”

Four Palace guards entered, on edge after overhearing the argument.  “Escort my mother from the grounds.  She is not to return unless explicitly invited.”  Tatiana blanched.  “Nikolai, you can’t–”  “Can’t I?  No, you’re right, this shouldn’t be my decision…”  Nikolai turned to you, taking your hand in his.  “My love?  Do you want her gone?”  His voice was so gentle, a stark contrast to moments ago.

You stood, straightening the skirts of your gown.  “I do.”  You then addressed the guards.  “As King Nikolai said, she is not to return unless invited.  Which I feel may not be for quite some time.”  When the guards hesitated, Nikolai snapped, “You heard your Queen!”  Tatiana was dragged from the room, and as soon as the doors were shut behind her, Nikolai gathered you into his arms, holding you tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispered, kissing your head.  “I can’t…I never thought she’d….fuck, I’m sorry.”  You lifted your head to look at him, to find that he was crying.  “It’s not like it’s a surprise that she hates me,” you said.  “But it hurt, hearing her say it.”  Your husband held you tighter, sniffling softly.  “I love you,” he said.  “I love you so much, Y/N.  I’ve never cared about all the stuff she said, I care about you.  And that she hurt you….Saints, can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Nikolai,” you said, wiping his tears away with a gloved hand.  “Her hatred for me is not your fault.  And I love you too, more than anything else.”  He kissed you, soft and sweet, wishing he could erase all the hateful things his mother had said to him.  “I don’t want you to cut ties with her,” you said when the kiss broke.  “She’s your mother, and you love her.  I don’t want me to come between you.”

Nikolai shook his head, guiding you to the settee where he pulled you onto his lap.  “I know, darling.  But right now…I can’t even think about her without wanting to break something.”  You cupped his cheek, guiding him into a kiss.  “Thank you for defending me,” you said, and Nikolai wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close to him.  “I will always defend you.  Be it on the battlefield or from my mother.”

You laughed, and he smiled.  “There’s my girl,” Nikolai said, kissing you again.  For several minutes, the two of you sat in silence, enjoying the other’s embrace, before you spoke.  “If this drives a wedge between you two, I don’t think I could forgive myself.”  “Hey, don’t think like that.  If there’s a wedge, it was driven from the first time she rolled her eyes at you.  She’s my mother, yes, and I love her.  But you, Y/N, I love you so much more.”

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Zach Sang Show

Part 54

2016

“I’m hanging out in the studio right now with YN YLN”

“Hi. Thanks for having me” I smile at Zach

“Thank you for being here. How are you feeling? A lot is happening right now for you. This is your first solo interview, your releasing your first solo album and your going on tour with Justin Bieber. Like does it feel strange without the boys with you?”

“Yes really strange” I nod nervously laughing

“Have you spoken to any of them or seen them since last year?”

“Yeah we text each other at least once a week. I spent new year with Harry which was lovely”

“How do you feel about being solo?”

“It’s mixed emotions really. I’m so excited to release the album and go on tour, but I’m also so scared. Like when I was with the boys I had that constant support, if I forgot lyrics they were there to help me, but now I’m on my own”

“Let’s talk about your upcoming album. You let me listen to it before hand and it’s a masterpiece”

“Aww thank you” I shift in my seat

“What was the writing process like? You wrote My Everything/Ghostin’ and ‘Break Your Heart Right Back on tour didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m so grateful for Liam, Harry, Louis and Niall for helping me turn my thoughts into songs. They started off as random sentences in my notebook. I never planned on making them into actual songs but then Harry got hold of my note book and within a few weeks on tour we had wrote the two songs. Niall helped come up with the melody and Louis recorded it on his phone. Liam was just the hype man. I kind of forgot about the songs until it came to writing the album. I wrote ghosting in a day. It was a bad day with an ex and it just all came out. It wasn’t supposed to go on the album, I never finished it, but Harry was a huge help and he was the one who suggested to put them both on the album. I trust him and his instincts”.

“This album feels very personal”

“Oh 100%” I went through stages during the writing process for the album. I was angry. Angry at the men in my life who have hurt me. I was angry at myself for letting them, but then came the heartache, the questioning myself, like how could I have let the same thing happen over and over again. This album is a true break up album that goes through the emotions of wanting to leave that person, but being in your head and wanting to make it work”

“It’s almost like a diary entry”

“Yeah pretty much. I mean..” I sigh looking at the ceiling “for me me it’s about telling to world how I’m feeling, but in an enjoyable way I guess. I’m 22 now and if I’m not invested in these songs then what’s the point” I shrug

“Is that the worst part that it’s all personal?”

“No no not at all” I shake my head “I don’t have to pretend. I never want to pretend. I want to be open about what I’ve been through and what I go through”

“You look back to when you were on X Factor to your One Direction days to now as a solo artist, can you pinpoint what you’ve learnt”

“I was young when I started in this industry, I was the youngest member of One Direction, plus the only girl, I had a lot of other girls dislike me. I was ‘the worst member’” I said doing air quotes with my hands “at first it got to me. I went on antidepressants and I was speaking to a therapist multiple times a week, but I learnt that there’s no point listening to the hate. Most of them were jealous and I just think if you dislike my voice then just don’t listen. It’s hard to ignore it when there’s so many rumours and opinions”

“It’s life changing to let go”

“Oh 100%”

“I have to ask, how’s Cookie?”

“She’s great. She’s come with me today actually”

“Really? Can we see her?”

“Of course. Dad can I have Cookie?” I turn around to look at my dad. He nods his head and quickly goes to get my dog. I then hear her little paws running “Cookie! Hi baby girl” I pick her up and place her on my lap

“I feel like Cookie is your mascot” Zach laughs, I laugh along with him

“The fans normally get more excited to see her than me”

“Can we talk about going on tour with Justin Bieber? How did that come about?”

“It’s funny actually” I laugh shifting in my seat before taking a quick sip of water “while we were in LA last year we met Justin. He ask what our plans were for this year and when I said I was writing an album he asked me to go on tour with him to promote it. He’s been so supportive of the album”

“Ghostin/My Everything comes out this week”

“Yeah on Friday. It will be the anniversary of Alex’s passing. It’s going to be an emotional day, but I wanted to dedicate those songs to him. The music video will be a lyric video with photos and videos of Alex growing up. He was one of my biggest supporter so it’s only right I dedicate my first single to him”

“I just have to say you are so strong”

“I couldn’t do it without my friends and family. They are my crutches. I’m so incredibly grateful for them and I’m not sure I can ever repay them for everything they’ve done, especially my dad and Emma”

“Speaking of Emma she’s become part of your team now hasn’t she?”

“Yeah she’s my PA. I wouldn’t wake up on time if it wasn’t for her” I joke making is both laugh

“That’s all the time we have. Thank you so much for coming on the show”

“No thank you I had a good time”

“Good look with the album and tour. Your going to kill it”

“I hope so”

“YN YLN everyone”

[bunji-enthusiast]

Hello could you do a one shot for Tristan where Gawain fittest with his fem s/o and he gets jealous

I hope I understood this correctly dear, but here you go!

"Wha-" You blinked a multitude of times, trying to even register an ounce of understanding in which the female knight had uttered the very words toward you. In the sense, you could almost feel your face heating up from embarrassment, being put in such a spot. Gawain just seemed to not be at all deterred, she was actually serious, without a shadow of a doubt. Now, that truly had told you that in which she had said was nothing short of a half-hearted truth. Unto that and nothing more, she actually had a gall to flirt with you.

Well, you were aware that she had a penchant for flirting with others who rendered themselves in the same gender, however the last thing you expected was being a target to her flirtatious misdeeds. Though in all your heart, you didn't want to be rude to her, it was nothing wrong of the sort. More so it was often times old drunkards who had high reputations for preying on young pretty girls.

"You heard me pretty miss," She tilts her head, shredded as may be, but she seemed akin to that of a toddler. "How princey over there managed to get you is lost to me, I am rather far better." Gawain postulates, making your blood almost boil at the rather invertedly common insult. Among empires and gentleman it was always common to spit out insults and curses of which those who were born into higher riches. But by no means was that Tristan's fault, he was simply born into monarchies, those of whom were greatly respected amongst the people of Liones. He had greatly inherited a lot of his kind and gentle traits from his mother as well, you could see the resemblance not in just genetics alone, but by mannerisms and their actions.

"You shouldn't talk about him like that, it isn't nice." You replied, albeit with a firm tone. Habitually you were always quick to defend the silver-haired nephilim against anyone who had spoken bad about him, but be it one of his very own comrades? It's naught high for impossibility!

"It's not like we're friends, Im on a far different level than he is. Even in the time I've known him, he continued to be traitorous." Gawain's brows furrowed, half-hearted in hatred and about green with envy.

Yet here the situation stood, strong and spiteful for one, and another revered in the very sense of objectivity. Gawain too was a woman, that was no lie, you thought she would understand such matters. It was otherwise you were disproven of such thoughts, right here and now. In a way you could understand her perspective about Tristan and considering her feelings on the matter of his abilities as well, but in no way will you ever consider it acceptable that she insulted him in such a manner.

"Still though, it's not as if you two are supposedly enemies." You stand your ground, even with a harsher grit. Despite the fact you highly dislike confrontation, you were easily faced with the brunt of the concept, which came to reality speedily. "Gawain with all due respect I would like it if you did not speak about him that way."

A soft call of both your names snapped you out of your ever building stupor of aggrieved and sexual bullying, leaving you a little surprised that Tristan was approaching the pair of you.

"Why are you two fighting?"

Oh that same, sweet old tone. Easily wanting to amend whatever bonds there may be left, yet there was something else tapered in between the lines of his words. Something reminiscent rarely ever displayed in action, it was bare, yet it was still there. You were once again a little stuck in motion at the thought of it, you thought you were disillusioned. Gawain just stuck her head out, "Nothing that is your business, this is between the two of us."

"I understand that." He interjected in a gentle manner, lifting his gloved hands up to appease to Gawain's current bullish behavior. "But the energy seemed to be rather dreary, so I was starting to get worried."

There it was again, passing by as it once had before just a mere minute ago. How is he doing that? Whatever it was. All you were doing, was just watching Tristan and Gawain converse, but you were easily torn away from your statute display cobbled with imaginary stone. Watching as Tristan approached you with a concerned expression painted on his face, he gently pressed his hands on your shoulders.

"Are you alright?" He questioned, patient as can be. You turned your head to see that Gawain was leaving the area, making you loopback to Tristan's face, shrugging your shoulders in confusion as to what just had happened. You wondered what even happened at all, all there was is a steady argument, you know that Gawain wasn't going to attack you, so why did Tristan intervene? He had no reason to do so. Then you thought back to when he first approached, not far from a few minutes ago. Something about him seemed slightly different, it was just a mere tendril but it was enough to shake you somewhat.

So finally, "I'm... fine. I'm fine." You repeated, about twice until you had seen the disbelief about your wellbeing in his eyes fade. "What was that about?"

Tristan's brow contorted, confusion. "What was what about?"

You shook your head in disbelief, nodding your head at where Gawain had left you two alone. Tristan seemed to notice the source of your confusion, easily misplaced as it is however. You still didn't understand how, or why.

Tristan's bloodlust was rather suffocating earlier.

[ninainthetardis]

⚠️⚠️⚠️ HoFaS spoilers ⚠️⚠️⚠️

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Be warned, this is going to be a rant.

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Ok, the HoFaS crossover was supposed to be exciting, but it ended up being another trigger topic for me thanks to the obnoxious N.esta stans who never hold her accountable for her wrong choices and always pick on the characters who stand up to her/call her out on her crap.

The thing is, I didn't even dislike her in this crossover, but I swear the moment her stans open their mouth, I go straight back to hating her. I don't even know how it is possible to be so clouded that they can't see/recognise when she's wrong or the hurt she causes/her actions may cause to other people. How they can always defend her without considering any other perspective/logic and proceed with the slander of any character that does not share her ideas or approve of her actions. Or how they demand respect for her trauma while ignoring/invalidating the one she inflicted to others.

The point in this case is: giving Bryce the mask WAS a dumb, rushed, risky choice. Stop ranting and insulting Rhys for his reaction, he was bloody RIGHT (also, Azriel was on that line too, why isn't he an asshole too?). I thought that immediately, even before reading the bonus chapter. You're even bashing Cassian for not defending her, as if she wasn't gambling with everyone's life because she somewhat liked Bryce and understood her desperate situation. Which could be admirable if it wasn't a lot hypocritical of her, considering that she barely moved a finger to help win their war against Hybern. And about that: isn't it time to wake up? It was Elain to end the King, N/esta just cut his head off once the hard part was done. And on top of that, both her and Cassian would be as good as dead without Elain's intervention. But why am I even bothering to talk about this...

And by the way, to those hating on Cassian, now here's a flash news: you do not have to defend your partner if you think they are wrong. It doesn't mean you don't love them, acting like the significat other is always right is not how support looks like. And N.esta can clearly speak for herself, maybe even too much, and with too much entitlement. You don't want to respond of your actions to Feyre and Rhys? Well, fucking leave the Night Court already! They're its rulers!!!

And Bryce's mom was the other one being totally out of line and acting entitled tbh and quite rude. I mean, you are in another world, in which your daughter made mess after mess, with people you need something from whether you like it or not, people you don't know and you talk that way? Not every bloody Fae is the Autumn King or the Avallen King! Someone really has to tell her AND Bryce, given that she passed that bias toward the entirety of the species to her. Generalisation is always wrong. And also, you know, it's a matter of good manners, and that issue was really none of her goddamn business. She could've spoken on N/esta's behalf using different tones, and it would have been a lot different.

Now, let's get back at the mask thing.

Honestly, I get that I was supposed to root for Bryce in this one, but she made it quite difficult for me when all she did in Prythian was putting that world in a danger she was very aware of. Like freeing an Asteri on Prythian soil, as if Vesperus would ever tell Bryce how to kill her own species. I get she was desperate, but it was just dumb and egoistic of her to do that, to risk to bring the same evil that plagues her world into another one, especially when there was no guarantee (quite the opposite actually) that by doing that she'd get the answers she was looking for.

Bryce had no reason to trust them, and they had no reason to trust her as well. Had Bryce failed, the consequences of giving her the mask would have been catastrophic. And I am not even going to mention Nyx's safety as a reason for Rhys to be pissed at N/esta. Rhysand and Feyre are responsible for the whole Night Court. And in this case, the whole of Prythian, AGAIN. There is a reason if they're the ones in charge, position that actually includes putting your people first and being able to make hard choices, even if they are morally grey choices, to protect their people. N.esta doesn't have such responsibility, and thankfully so because she would be terrible in that position. Moreover, they've just come out of a war, for Rhysand it was the second war he fought and after 50 years of UTM... but of course, why would N.esta care? She was somewhere safe almost the entirety of the time while Feyre - who died to save the very same world N.esta was endangering with her choice - was out fighting for everyone's safety. I am honestly shocked by how people refuse to even consider Rhysand's perspective, at least on this one. As if he knew Bryce and what she was capable of (and as if the whole resolution in CC wasn't due to pure luck, anyway) and have the slightest idea she might succeed. Also, Bryce had 10 other ways to manage the whole situation differently. Had she cooperated a little instead of proving to be a loose cannon, she might have had the chance to actually GET their help without having to take it by stealing and endangering Prythian. Trust goes both ways. They could have found a common ground or made a deal that ensured Prythian's safety and at the same time help Lunathion. Rhys and Feyre are sensitive to people who are suffering and would do something about it. There was no need to endanger Prythian in the process. But 1. They would've stolen the show and 2. Bryce's the one who left Baxian and Fury in Avallen or didn't think of calling Jesiba during the final battle against the Asteri, why would she think that someone as powerful as Rhysand and as knowning as Amren could be helpful anyway 🙄 her "Aelin wanna be" era failed miserably because she actually didn't have the skills, the drive, the strategic thinking and the experience to be like her, despite the efforts. But Bryce is a topic for another day.

This is my tea for today. It's been a year I'm part of this fandom and I've tried so hard not to rant/write about acotar just to avoid the toxic part of this fandom, but hey, patience has its limits, this is still my space and seeing all that "everyone" slander from the pro N.esta for no logical reason really got on my last nerve at this point.