#i belive in just changing the system
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n3felibata · 1 year ago
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Another reason why I don't think Stolas should abdicate is because he actually seemed very happy when Paimon explained his duties to him. He even started jumping up and down in excitement.
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He was bouncing off the walls since the moment he woke up that morning because he knew that day is when Paimon tells him about his responsibilities. He only started crying when the hetero marriage part was brought up
Stolas enjoys his responsibilities. He likes astronomy, he enjoys showcasing The Harvest Moon Festival. It's his fuckass family that's the problem
And this isn't to say he likes being a prince as a whole, but he certainly enjoys some aspects of it and it's not fair to have to give that up. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater
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cryptotheism · 4 months ago
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Have there been any works that you've read that you would say have genuinely changed your life? Reading your posts on occultism suggests that there's a careful balance to be struck between acknowledging when something is woowoo and letting oneself be affected by the material one takes in. As a recovering embittered cynic, I'm curious as to how one engages emotionally/spiritually with a work while simultaneously recognizing that a non-insignificant portion of it is hogwash.
idk it's like reading philosophy. You don't really believe or disbelieve in the works of Aristotle, you kinda just read him and now you know what Aristotle thinks about a bunch of stuff.
I dont think I've read a single text that truly revolutionized my worldview, but the process of putting it all together has been quietly profound. I feel like I have a highly nuanced understanding of why people belive in ostensibly strange things, how systems of thought interact with themselves, and how the world shapes systems of thought.
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literaryslapshot · 4 months ago
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Apparently Sid loves history so I feel like the prompts of watching a movie they enjoy + the one underneath it would be cute for him
♡ sidney is so the "the ancient egyptians believe" bf. always gotta bust out a random fact for you. it amplifies when you're on vacation.
♡ but when you're at home, nothing going on, nowhere to belive, he's turning it to the history channel with a bowl of popcorn ready to watch the most boring shit. ancient aliens? he's seen every episode. a show about the aztecs and their lost gold? he's convinced he knows where it is.
♡ "what is this one about" and he goes on and on about how the aztec people group brought gold with them and how it's left in the now american west cave system, but because it's been thousands of years nobody can get to it bc of the landscape changes
♡ and you're just "blah blah blah backstory stuff" bc his face lights up, while literally talking about native americans who lived thousands of years ago! and how even if it was found what good would it do! but it's fine...bc he is actually so invested in this.
♡ don't even get him started on ancient nordic history...
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hollowed-theory-hall · 3 months ago
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Hello! How are you?
Basically, I have seen this in many spaces where people are anti hp (the series and the mc), they bring up the fact that harry isn't a great mc because by the end of the series he made/brought no changes in the wizarding world. He didn't change the system, didn't do anything about the house elf slavery, (they mention the fact that after the war harry contemplates asking kreacher to bring him a sandwich!! and that he wasn't as passionate about freeing them as Hermione was), and so on, I don't remember everything.
Mostly, they mention that he becomes a ministry lapdog and ended up joining the same system which oppressed him (like you, i hate that he becomes an auror btw) and by the end of the series everything is the same and he didn't bring any monumental change like he doesn't have the power or interest to do so.
So, my questions to you are - what are your thoughts on these opinions?? Do you think it's poor writing by jkr?? Or it wasn't relevant to the core plot?
I don't really like speculating what JKR was thinking when she wrote something, because I have no way of actually knowing, but book 7, in certain parts, always felt to me like she was ready to move on and wanted to be done with it.
I think by the time she got to writing book 7, she just kinda wanted the writing process to be over already. So, book 7 has always been a mixed bag for me — when it's good, it's really good, but it also has moments that drag and are utter stupidity.
I think the epilogue is a bit of that race to be done with it already.
Like, there is a fan theory she wrote the epilogue before the book, and honestly, I can belive that.
But, I think the Harry becoming an auror isn't bad writing in the books — it's bad writing post-books. Sure, the epilogue implies the system didn't change as much as it should have (Albus worrying about being sorted into Slytherin, Ron confounding muggles with no consequences, Percy's treatment, etc.), but I think it wouldn't have been as egregious and offensive as it is to most fans who dislike it if it wasn’t for a lot of JKR's periphery canon she wrote that added a lot of details about the characters' futures that just made everything worse (plus the CC play).
Without the epilogue, the ending of DH doesn't say anything about what Harry would do. Yes, he isn't passionate about freeing house elves, but this isn't new and is true to his character. He isn't perfect, and that's not bad writing, it's staying consistent with his characterization up to this point. The ending without the epilogue leaves the reader off with plenty of potential to work with for their imagination and write fic about Harry's future. I actually like the end note of the series pre-epilogue because it fits. It works with Harry as a character who just wants something simple to eat and go to bed. He isn't concerned with instating new policies and shit, because it would be out of character for him to concern himself over these things in that moment. Harry is not a politician and he never wanted to be one. I feel like the fandom expects a lot from Harry that would be out of character for him to do without external factors pushing him into a political role. (Don't get me wrong, he'd be a decent politician, but that would be because he won't play the same game as everyone else. And he'd never choose to be a politician without being forced/pressured/otherwise convinced into the position).
The epilogue itself, while, closing off some options and proving the wizarding world still has many many issues, doesn't actually mention the Golden Trio's (or Ginny's) professions and still leaves us with a lot of open room for interpretation. Harry isn't stated to be an auror in the epilogue — it's JKR's writings after the books that made him an auror and Hermione a minister and kinda butchered Ron altogether (book 7 started the job of butchering Ron's character, though...). Even if the epilogue doesn't paint the best picture of the future of the WW, it's still open enough to work with if you really want to. It's the stuff she published after the books that made everything about the wizarding world's (and Harry's) future so much worse for me.
I do think, the epilogue is bad writing in that it doesn't add to the story and I think makes book 7 (and the whole series) worse overall, but I would've hated it less if it wasn't for all the information she added in after the fact (that didn't actually add anything, just ruin and destroy).
And a lot of her periphery canon writing show how much she doesn't remember from her books. I talked about it when it comes to fahion and the term "warlock", but she tends to, not really know her own world building and she contradicts herself a lot. This tendency is at it's worst with book 7 Wandlore, a lot of her Pottermore articles, and, of course, the Fantastic Beasts films and CC (some of her commentary in the Hogwarts Library books collection as well). So, I take any periphery canon stuff as additional to the books and optional depending on if they make sense with the books' canon or not.
So, I'd say, the problems for me are more with post-books stuff, and not the content of the books themselves. Becouse yeah, Harry mentioned wanting to be an auror in years 5 and 6, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't change his mind once he realizes what it entails
15-16 year old Harry talking about wanting to be an auror actually fits his character. Not because I think the job would be great for him, but because of his low self-worth. Moody/Barty told him he has the talent to be an auror and Harry is ridiculously insecure in himself. When one of the first adults to tell him he is talented and good at things to his face told him he'd make a good auror — of course that's what Harry would focus on!
Even if Moody/Barty was discovered to be a Death Eater later, he was still someone Harry looked up to. Harry who thinks he isn't particularly good at anything:
“Well, I’m not going to tell you,” said Moody gruffly. “I don’t show favoritism, me. I’m just going to give you some good, general advice. And the first bit is — play to your strengths.” “I haven’t got any,” said Harry, before he could stop himself. “Excuse me,” growled Moody, “you’ve got strengths if I say you’ve got them. Think now. What are you best at?”
(GoF, Ch20)
Was told he'd be good at something (being an auror) — so it makes sense he'd want to pursue it initially. I think Harry is likely to not want to stay as an auror though. I love to headcanon him as an auror program dropout, honestly. That he starts and then leaves. Which is possible with book 7 canon (including the epilogue).
The books actually don't contradict some changes or changes-in-progress in the WW (including the epilogue). It's just been 19 years, not even a whole generation, big systematic changes rarely happen this quickly, so while some of the patterns are worrying, you can work with it, I think the epilogue is bad, but it's not the worst that happened to HP books.
The worse problem is that JKR kept writing contradictory things instead of leaving the books be once they were done.
(Not that the books don't have their moments of contradicting themselves, they do. There are plot contrivances, stuff that makes zero sense, and plenty of plot holes, but when it comes to Harry's future and the WW's future as a whole, the books are not the main culprit here, the epilogue was a witness that did nothing to help at the scene of the crime at best).
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mrstellmeafuckingsecret · 3 months ago
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The Black family fortune was divided long ago by some ancestor who belived that he shouldn't just favour his eldest son and then they went onto to marrying other witches (I hc that pureblood society had the girl's family give dowry to the groom) and that created a wealth disparity of some sort among the brothers so fast forward Walburga's family branch is considerably richer than Orion's bcz they married in wealthier families/better investments etc and Walburga being the eldest believed she should be the heir but she was also a woman so she sought out the most advantageous match and that was Orion (and he'd be the one to get her family's inheritance if they don't get a male heir since he's the closest male relation) , the odds were in her favour since Cygnus only had girls and Alphard wasn't married (she also got Alphard banished from the family bcz he was gay or whtv and Pollux did it bcz he had one more son to continue his line) and she secured the inheritance from both sides with her sons and Cygnus can't have any more children now bcz fertility issues or smth and Pollux is worried abt his line dying out since Walburga is a woman and *her sons* don't count so he calls Alphard back and Alphard is aware his father is desperate and his family has no leverage on him so he does whatever he pleases, he also lowkey threatens his sister that he doesn't cares about traditions, will write her out his will etc bcz he wants revenge since she essentially got him banished and Walburga is worried she knows Alphard wants her to suffer so she tries to kill him on several occasions but it doesn't works and too risky, she pushes her father to make Cygnus the heir and berates Alphard all the time to the family, manipulates Cygnus to be on her side but nothing seems to work until she notices how Alphard's gaze lingers on Sirius and the look in his eyes so she encourages it kinda? at first she was gonna blackmail Alphard if he tried to do something but manipulating a weakness sounds better, if Alphard developed proper affection for Sirius then he wouldn't be willing to change the will. she also subtly teaches Sirius to manipulate his uncle albeit he doesn't knows she is even doing it. one day Sirius sneaks out and he finds those posters and sticks them in his room and everyone is mad bcz they can't tear em off and his mother sends him to his Uncle's manor so he can't sneak to muggle London, Alphard has ofc heard about what Sirius did and he thinks since his nephew is looking at adult magazine he isn't really a child anymore and decides to show him more since yk he seems curious and someone really should give him the talk and what's better than visual learning?? they go to a brothel and *insert that Rhaenyra and Daemon brothel scene from hotd* and then there's all this tension that Sirius was subconsciously aware about but he didn't spent any time thinking abt it but now he cannot stop thinking abt it, Sirius pretends like nothing happened and Alphard is amused by his antics, Sirius lowky hates his uncle but also wants him?? and they have this fucked up situation going on, it's very toxic. Walburga knows but pretends to be oblivious, she hates that it has come to this but sacrifices have to be made. In the end Alphard does leaves money to Sirius but not in the way Walburga intended
oh my god. ohh my god????????. walburga's so sneak & manipulatey i love her and the dowry system is so canon idc. cygnus is such a little shit. alphard !!!!!!!! i do not think of alphard this way but oh my god i do now ! sneaky and petty and in love w his nephew ?? sounds like my ex ack sirius having this weird love/hate rsp w alphard........ alphard leaving sirius everything anyway............................ passing away rn this is genius and i love you for letting me read this
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strewwwberry · 11 months ago
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About to do a Rant on shen Jiu coz yeah, so ⚠️trigger warnings⚠️for, you know, him lol
(Additional tw please read beforehand even if its just a skim)
I personalize a lot of my writing to the viewer/reader, if you are someone who tends to input yourself into writing, whether purposely or not, please be aware that it may get uncomfortable or too personal to you, be aware of what you can read through and what is uncomfortable or you simply don’t like, stay safe ♡
Also apologies in advance if I project at all through this.
Shen Jiu's story has got to be one of the most tragic I've read, and not just for his slavery, abandonmet, sexual and physical abuse and then extortion after "freedom", and on top of that the old tale of the abused become the abuser. No, not just that, but because he was willing, he was 110% willing to ignore his feelings, brush aside his abuse an torture, everything, if Yue Qinguen just told him why he wasn't there, just gave him a reason, hell not even a reason, a goddam excuse to why he wasn't there.
He would've, he may not have been a good person even after the fact, actually I'd bet that he wouldn't be a "good person" at all. But, I belive that at the very least, it would've calmed his heart ENOUGH to not repeat the cycle of abuse, even If not for any reason but yue qingyuan.
Even as an adult he was still a child inside wanting the comfort of someone he trusted more than anything, and to be reassured that he wasn't abandoned, that his qi-ge was just late.
And to make it worse, he was, yue qingyuan was simply late. He pushed to hard to quickly, refused to ask for help, refused to explain, got himself in a deadly situation, was late and continued to not explain himself but instead give a look of pity and a stupid sorry every single time as if that changes anything.
Now to go into that, that look of pity. I can literally feel in my soul how fucking cruel that was to have done to Shen qingqiu. Imagine you make it out alive through being sold into slavery, abused in all ways possible, had to fight your way out because your one and only wasnt able to, got basically kidnapped and then further used, escaped THAT, and finally made it to a sect where you see your one and only, hoping that no he couldn't have left me... Did he? No he didnt abandon you, there must be a reason. But nothing, just pathetic apologies constantly. He must've thought himself above me, I'll prove him wrong. You make it to be a head disciple on your way to be a Peak Lord, an impeccable position and a near impossible accomplishment for an ex slave, and still nothing, just pity.
Then you finally get to the top, your on your way to Ascension, already immortal despite being too old to even cultivate when you started and your qi-system (whatever it's called) is absolutely wrecked (miracle you can even cultivate, an insane improbability to have made at to a golden core and immortality). But still, even after all you've been through and persevered through, pity, pity for a man who made it. Pity for a man who went through hell and still fucking made it.
I'm just saying, I'd be mad too.
But no, it doesn't end, of course it doesn't.
Your anger reaches a point unmanageable, you refuse to explain, no one explained anything to you and they won't listen anyway! refuse to try because what good could it do? No one will believe me anyway what's the point? Only friends are brothel ladies, who you pay to be with you, you get called a pervert and a lecher for caring for these woman and that girl disciple of yours who you take pride and comfort in. Are you a pervert and a lecher? Is that true? Only you really know.
And then this bastard kid she just had to point out.
Shen Jiu, refused to acknowledge his REAL flaws and blamed everyone else for everything even when it truly does end up his fault. What. Is he just supposed to deny or admit anything? Of course not! Let them belive whatever the hell they want, I've always acted this way making me seem untrustworthy and because they're hypocrites they wont try to find out why anyway, and I'm always the victim.
Which he was for a long time.
But then he wasn't, not really no, still a victim or course, but right now, with his standing and power?
and then even though they were in the wrong, his refusal to try (understandable but still) was his own choice, his refusal to at least get along with them, not start fights, not ostracize and critisize in the form of snide commentary. No one made him did that, he was traumatized and a child, yes, so was it understandable? Of course! Was it still his own actions that even as an adult he refused to stop, let alone apologize for, even if not literally apologizing? Yes, yes it was.
And then a child. Whose had it rough. Maybe not (yet) as rough as you, but rough. And then to abuse that kid, torture and isolate that child become he was so lucky to have had a mother? A mother who, although still his mother, wasn't even blood? And because his eyes reflected that of a monster, his name reminding you of your abuser just like how your own now does to. hes too much like me, that look just can't be humane, he must be a monster. And you know what you were right he was a half demon child. But not even a demon deserved to be pushed into the abyss to die, no child not even a demon child deserved what you but him through.
That is not how that works. You hand him over to the water prison and figure it out, because the laws are fucked but at least that's something then just acting how you think is right even when you know its not. But no you had to, because what would they say, harboring a monster, you must be one to.
Then on top of all that, you swore to yourself that once you got your peak Lord name, you'd bury your past like you literally just spawned in the moment it's given. And then failed to bury it. Because life isn't that easy. But for once you just wish it was. You wanted to kill that child, so for the one that reminds you to much of yourself? You'll kill that one instead.
Shen jiu doesn't deserve excuses, hell he doesn't even want people to make excuses for him, not for himself and not from anyone else (except if that excuse Is qi-ge giving him so much as "I got caught up drinking my hella fancy tea, I dint mean to leave you there") .
But he was tragic.
He was human, so very human. A human playing the part of a trancendial being. A human boy in the appearance of someone untouchable and inconceivable.
Playing this act means no one can use nor abuse you.
Now, no one can hurt you,
Not anymore.
...
But they still did
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ewingstan · 2 years ago
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I've been thinking about how Worm differs from Ward in it's approach to action, and I'm realizing that my dissatisfaction with the latter isn't just "the powers got more complicated." Its that action scenes are being used in completely different ways for completely different ends in each text, but are being paced the same way.
In Worm, each fight was a scenario where a problem was set out that seemed unbeatable given what the protagonists had at their disposal. The satisfaction of the fight was seeing the problem being "solved" through clever and unexpected use of the protagonists abilities. We get this time and time again:
The Undersiders plan for dealing with a few wards at the bank heist, and they get the full team plus the Dallon sisters—how will they make it out of a fight we know they're not prepared for? Time to change things up and go on the offensive!
The villains unexpectedly run into Lung during the ABB crackdown, and we've seen how much trouble he gave Taylor last time. How can she fight someone who seemingly no-sells all her powers? Time to get creative with how she uses her bugs!
Taylor's great at attacking an enemy's weak spots, but now someone with no weak points is on her doorstep. How can she fight off not just one of the feared Slaughterhouse Nine, but the one seemingly most built to no-sell her abilities?
Butcher needs to be dealt with, but she's incredibly powerful and anyone who kills her ends up inhereting a host of problems. How do we deal with her and her team? Hey, who left this emotion-manipulator-in-a-face-worse-than-death lying around for us to use?
It's like watching a puzzle being solved. Here's a clearly defined problem, here's how it's especially hard for Taylor because of her limitations, here's how she uses her powers and surroundings in clever ways to come out on top. It also means that basically every fight advances Taylor's character in some way—for it to be convincing, the audience needs to clearly believe in the limitation, which since we're in Taylor's head so much usually means she needs to belive in the limitation. So when we see her overcome this limitation, we're seeing how we (and she) were wrong about her. We learn that Taylor's willing to take insane risks and be agressive in the bank heist, we learn she can take advantage of other parahuman's powers in brutal ways during the Lung fight, we learn how she can use bugs in fully unnatural ways and inspire people to help her in her fight with Mannequin, we learn that she's thriving in the scarred state of Brockton Bay to the extent of utilizing its spankin-new suicide zone to deal with enemies, etc. This is part of why I never had much of a problem with the all-battles-no-breaks pacing that characterizes so much of Worm: it was never just battles! Every fight advanced Taylor's character an incredible amount!
This is a pretty common genre of action, but it requires a few things: namely, a thorough understanding of an enemies abilities. Its only fun to see a character outsmart a powerset if we understand the powerset. And we need to see the way an enemy is a problem for a character's apparent limitations if we want to appreciate how they're overcome. There's a reason why JJBA villains spend so much time monologuing about their stands, or why Sanderson spends so much time establishing exactly how each magic system works. If an enemies powers were vague and unknowable, then deafeating them wouldn't seem clever and limitation-overcoming, it would seem lucky or brute-force. So, Worm has Taylor teamed up with miss-can-explain-everyone's-deal and has her go up against villains famous enough for their powerset to be common knowledge.
But Ward isn't built for this type of clever power-munchining in its action. It's less Jojo's and more Berzerk, with its protagonist defeating her enemies though indomitable power and horrific force rather than cool tactics. Furthermore, Ward is interested in exploring the fog of war and how it affects violent engagements. Victoria is constantly thrown into situations where she has little idea of her enemies powersets, and defeats them without having ever fully grasped their intricacies. And part of this is because the powers in Ward are too complicated to be wholly "got" through simple demonstration, but also because she isn't approaching each fight with the goal of countering the enemy's specific schtick. She's trained to have specific tactics against different broad types, and doesn't typically analyze her opponent past the point of categorizing them as a breaker or a changer. And it makes sense! That style of engagement is gonna be common for anyone who doesn't have a Tattletale! (Kenzie is not a Tattletale. Her specific brand of all-seeing doesn't extend to being able to quickly give the lowdown on a powerset. It does extend to giving a full view of a battlefield and enemy positions, which helps facilitate the more "military engagement" mode for narrating action that Ward adopts). And unlike Taylor's useless-at-first-brush yet endlessly adaptable powerset, Victoria's powers are a blunt hammer that is very good at giving every enemy the nail treatment. Her action scenes are like watching a kaleidescope being smashed to pieces; we're constantly watching someone plunge into a bizzare sitation and smash their way out of it without really understanding what "it" was.
And to be clear I think this low-information style of action can lead to really cool moments. All we get about Mama Mathers for a while is "she can see you when you think about her" and "this is enough to keep the whole compound in line," so the reader's left to speculate on the actual extent of her abilities. And so when she starts driving people into violent spasming fits all of a sudden during the Fallen raid, its shocking and intense! You really get the sense that existing in the world of Parahumans means being subject to countless horrible and unknowable dangers you can't plan around, and when it works, it rocks!
But it also means that when fight scenes can only go on for so long before they start to drag. There's less satisfaction to seeing an enemy defeated without the puzzle component, and there's less character narrative being advanced in each fight outside of "what is Victoria willing to fight for/against" or "how much is Victoria willing to treat this enemy like a nail." Ward needs breaks in its action in a way Worm didn't, and when fights go on for the same length as they did in Worm it feels like Wildbow's using pacing that worked in one area without realizing how it could only work in that area. It might also be why I appreciate the quieter moments of inter-team banter and therapy sessions Ward is full of (besides those moments being, on the whole, really goddamn good).
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selodka-pod-shuboy · 2 years ago
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I think 3rd life is somehow the best plot&system-wise. It's not based on anything, just my humble opinion. I have so much thoughts and they are all so tragic. Like. It was my first ever interaction with theese CCs, I went there blind reacting. It was amazing then, it was even better after getting to know them. Every perspective tells such a drasticly different story. You've got alliances formed throu death, loyalty and sacrifices, broken or cherished till the very end. You have 3 lifes, and that's it. No tricks or some help or twist from the gamemakers. Go apeshit or stay nice, nothing changes it. All your enemies can start from something as simple as a random punch or a shot or a pice of paper. So can friends. No one knows how the server operates, they all come from somewhat-friendly spaces, so every simple fact is a new surprise - everybody kills animals, and ends up suffering with lack of food&lether for books afterwards. They put effort into builds, bother with decorating(not to say they didn't in later seasons, it's just the attachment I'll talk later), fill the places with love and care, get attached to pets and trees, banners of all things. PROTECT THEM and feel sorrow and grief, once they enevitibly get killed or burned or blown up or DESTROYED. The rage is so innocent in it's belive, that they were wronged, that they should be avenged, and not that this is just the reality of the server itself, that that's just - what heppens. The story tells so much about betrayal, about broken trust, and friends that go mad, and almoust no one follows the "all alliances are broken after you're red" rule. You are allowed to kill now, yeah, but there was nothing in PARTICULAR, stopping you before. It is proven by the first death, that it was just a prank, that lead to all the following chaos. Scar gives Grian flowers after his second death, and Grian STAYS. Cleo sticks with Bdubs, calling his castle a toilet, kidnaps the desert lama, burns Joel's home. She goes for the king and dies in the blind rage . Bdubs makes and gives Impulse the clock, that will doom their hearts in the end. Impulse promises his trust to the Crastle. Bigb makes the cookie. Martyn hears voices, and Ren asks him to take his head. He takes so many lives. The Red Winter Comes. Tango saves the cows, only for them to be stolen, he gets shot stuck behind the fire. Etho's dark oak gets burned, he builds a woolen castle, for it to get burned multiple times. Timmy gives Scott a poppy, starting their marriage. They build the flower valley. Timmy DIES FIRST and aquaeres the Canary curse. Scott follows full of sorrow. Skizz dies second, full of rage, and creates the boogieman curse. Joel stays alone, with his dog army, and dies, leaving his pack wandering the desert. The cactus-ring fight. The siege of dogwarts. Battle of the Red Desert. All the monopolies. The state, that everyone leaves the server, the contrast with the start. It's like watching the 1rst anual hunger games, from a perspective of people, who know and love each other, but no matter their efforts, end up slowly spiraling into violence and distrust, spreading pain and destruction. Mu soul loves and aches for it, even though it was the very same thing that broke it in the first place, that took a pice of it and so it will never be whole again. It's so tragic. All this blood was never beautiful. It was just. Red.
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blessedshortcake · 1 year ago
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I feel like this has the potential to either be really stupid or very spot on and i need to write it down or I explode.
A theory on the AAHW and their purpose that is a little more than just "Hank kill people so we have to kill them". Long post so more under the cut. Spoilers obviosly.
For disclaimer I am referencing only the games, the series and the wikis so if there was anything else said on streams or something that is canon and I missed it then my bad. Also this is mostly speculation. Also it is 1am I am tired and non native English speaker so if I mispell stuff no I did not. Nuh us.
Also if this is already common knowledge then. Oops. I am a little slow. Lol. Tell me I'd like to know that I am late to the party.
There will be segments I will title since this is long so people can skip parts if they wanna.
Okay starting up we already know that the Employers have a connection to the makers of Nevada as they are not only 5 dimensional beings that like guide people and do other stuff, are compared to angels by Krinkels but also help The Machine apparently.
NEXUS ARENA MODE
For people unfamiliar with Madcom Project Nexus arena game lore, The Machine and The Maker are the two creators of Nevada. They are referred to as "brothers" but like is that relevant rn? No. The Maker and Doc team up and get the arena player in a loop to keep defeating the Stweard of The Machine and be the "direct connection to all reality" Doc needs which is important for many reasons.
The player is a gen 01 Nevadaian (how tf do i spell that) they are "quicker to ascend to godhood". There are other confirmed examples of gen1 like Phobos and i cant remember the rest but yeah gen1 is needed for this.
I genuinely belive that the player is needed for whatever revival Doc can do to keep making Hank come back. And I have proof! When we see in 9.5 the text overlay, we see the description "Machine Witness" when talking about Hank which sure could be Hank as he is the person monitored at that moment but how could they Really be it? It is probably Auditor as the thing then commands Hank to be retained immediately and Auditor is most definitely a machine witness as they directly work with it.
But then we see it is 2b helping them get out of the other place. He is sending tips and messages so it wouldn't be far fetched to say he uses the same exact system. Auditor doesn't need a witness to revive people and track them in the other place since they can already do a bunch of stuff and also they Are the witness. Also, why else would Doc need a connection to "all reality" if not to revive people? Possibly to reality restoration but eh. I am banking on the former.
(Speculation about the player, side ramble)
In my opinion, the way the players situation worked was Maker contacting Doc and giving him a hint about what all he needs to do. Maker cannot directly change stuff, they are hiding from the Machine. Since the player is confirmed to be the first grunt from Mashmallow Madness, i think they are ALSO the grunt encased in the marshmallow, a relic that is in a mission where you MUST protect it or you lose. I think its also in the museum in story mode but i could be wrong. They are listed as two different entities on the wiki but like they are also stuck in a time loop and can pick a preset of skills each run so I dont think its that ridicolous to assume this.
So Doc got the hint about a gen1 grunt existing somewhere and got their DNA and did some science bs to link it to a body, hence the no past thing and their ability to gain whatever skills and personality and abilities they want (aka the imprints)
BACK TO THE AAHW
Since we know AAHWs main goal is to, well, kill Hank, do we really get more of an explanation on why? Yeah ok they kill people. So does everyone else let us move past that for a moment.
The AAHW is ran by Auditor and he seems Very adamant about getting that one guy killed for seemingly no particular reason. I mean, Employers are higher beings so one guy just going around killing people should not be so concerning unless they are committing like mass murder to the point the population is running out which does not seem to be the case.
I think Hank is potentially the key to restoring normality to Nevada whatever the hell that actually consists of. Killing the Macine? Killing the Employers? Pushing a button? Shrug man.
The Higher Powers favor them canonically and the Higher Powers are not the Machine or Maker but something equal if not slightly lower than them (perhaps some meta of the audience i dont remember if we got a confirmation or not), Doc keeps bringing him back and Doc has a connection to Maker, who is trying to fix all of this mess without being absorbed by the Machine so to speak. Auditor being threatened by him makes a lot more sense when you think about it.
It also makes sense because it is their Literal Job as an Employer to keep things going as they are. "As they are" being helping the Machine destroy everything with madness so normality restoration would mean they failed.
I feel like Auditor is the one Employer who really doesnt want that happen since no other ones show up (save for Stygian in arena mode but that is a special case and even then its for like 5 frames lol) and it is said that they think Auditor's involvment with all this is kinda dumb... Like if Auditors one job is genuinely to keep madness in Nevada and let everyone die then RIP you got the most caught in this family drama between the creators sorry.
(SIDE NOTE, THE AGENTS)
Oh my dearest 1337 agents you keep me up at night.
Someone tell me how on EARTH are dissenters a thing if AAHW agents specifically are supposed to not only lack indaviduality (their s3lf) but also be unable to adapt and learn from their enviroment?
The only known AAHW members who we know the bg of are Jebus and Tricky so it makes sense why those two are like that but if Doc is supposedly past AAHW does that mean he is also a clone or does that mean he was hired by Auditor and ended up quitting like Jeb did? Because if it is the latter, calling him a dissenter is a Little petty Auditor but like fair enough.
I know a widely known hc is that Deimos is also a clone since he is heavily implied to be a dissenter by his wanted poster (or canon tbh) so does that make HIM a clone?
(My thoughts on AAHW units, Doc and Deimos, a side ramble)
I think whatever Doc has going on he is not a clone but has some other history. Possibly old Nexus connections like Jeb and Tricky but most likely not an old agent... But Deimos is. Maybe also Sanford idk his lore is a lot more loose in my eyes. We need more Sanford content.
I think agents have no s3lf (which is yea canon) but they can sorta develop preferences and learn things to an extent on their own. They can have food preferences, they know birthdays, they get bored and play games. They are still people after all. I think Auditor just keeps such a tight handle on them all (read: kills them for playing cards) that they are forced to act more like mindless units at all times. The SQ is already out to get their ass, getting killed by your own boss would suck a lot more probably. This is also further reinforced by the posters literally everywhere, and I personally think the ones in the other place are like that Because of how aimless and fucking boring their job is there. Edit: also since Stygian has seemingly no intention in helping them at all and Auditor likely never comes around hence the "we are abandoned" text. They observe and learn. They ARE abandoned.
But that also leads us to the next segment - observation. Just because they arent smart enough to be tactical in combat, they can clearly learn and evolve. Agents become soldats or engineers after all depending on the skills taught to them. I think dissenters become a thing when an agent has too much time to actually observe. Which is part of the reason why Auditor runs such a tight ship. Too much personality makes them realise this is fucked up, too little lets them die too fast. I think the more they progress the less humanity they actually have tho. Soldats and engineers are above them, they take commands without question (see the time a soldat fired at their own teammates when told to by whom they assumed to be their boss).
Soldats and Engineers are also confirmation that agents CAN learn if actually given the time and direction to do so like i said. I feel like clones if left without direction kinda suck but if given one they have the potential to absolutely destroy in the field. These units can use their enviroment for survival, they dodge and soldats have better combat abilities. Engineers are apparently very smart in mechanical stuff hence also their name but i cant remember if we ever see that in practicality.
(Tho I do feel like engineers only have the better survival ability because engineers constantly dying like agents would be too hard to replace over and over since they are taught the stuff they know. It would be resources lost.)
Doc being such a pain in the ass (hacking their systems, reviving people, seemingly being the leader of the SQ or at least a high ranking member considering the "man in the chair" descriptor he has, The Whole Maker Connection) would make more sense like that too. Deimos being a clone who either advanced from an agent or stayed one would make sense imo. He is a good fighter and his red blood pretty much excludes the other option but alas.
Imo it would also make their dynamic with Doc more interesting as he would still need some guidance. He probably had some training to get to the point he is but needing directions will stay a constant, and what is Doc if not the commander of SQ? Sanford also fits into that whole descriptor too imo with how he acted in the other place but again I am way less confident in talking about him than anyone else.
Also side note:
Before anyone says it, on the wiki Doc and Deimos never have a confirmation to what gen they are. As far as I remember not even Hank has one so the possibilities are pretty up in the air as of now. (But again Hank as Gen 1 would make a lot of sense considering... gestures. But who knows. This post is not about that.)
TLDR
Auditor wants Hank dead so bad because not only do the Higher Powers favor them, but because they have a direct connection to Maker who is against the Machine's effect of madness and is likely the key to actually restoring normality to Nevada, and Auditors literal job is to keep Nevada in madness as it is.
Thanks for reading if you got this far. PLEASE let me know your thoughts I spent like an hour writing this and I don't know if I sound insane or if this makes any sense. Either way I am. Autistic as hell about this. So yeah
If i forgot something let me know. I will probably edit it if I remember something too lol
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mysteriousl0ser · 1 year ago
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ragatha yap time yippie!!
hi guys i spoke abt this forever ago and im speaking again bc AUUUGH I GOT REMINDED OF IT
sometime forever ago someone made a comment on how ragatha kind of ignored gangle in ep 2 and was way too hyperfocused on pomni and made the conclusion that she and gangle had beef and as cool as a thought that is I disagree and felt like sharing my thoots- no hate to this person or this point of view/take on her character btw!! i feel like I shouldn't have to say this but id really rather be safe than sorry- but "disclaimer" aside I feel like part of the reason that ragatha was so focused on pomnis well being wasn't JUST due to the fact that shes the newest cast member (it for sure was part of it I feel like it has to be more than just that-) but I think part of the reason was because of kaufmos abstraction kaufmo literally abstracted the DAY prior and nobody even had an inkling that he was about to abstract due to everyone's reactions, ragatha and gangle explaining that he abstracted in shock and zooble making the assumption that kinger would be next and could not belive he just gave up like that also, girl was actually ATTACKED by him!! she knows that the abstracted cant be saved and still got up close n personal to him to try and "calm him down" even if it was pointless and I mean based on her reactions alone even if this has happened multiple times it feels like if this was the first time shes dealt with this (which obviously isn't considering shes been here the 2nd longest) which also kinda reminded me how am from IHNMAIMS can change ted and co's nerve systems to feel everything as fresh so they don't get used to it lol but anyways anyways another interesting detail to me is that prior to the second episode drop some people did think that she was angry at pomni or held resentment here esp because of goose saying she says things just to ease tensions (which is still true BUT)
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as also stated, she was actually far more concerned on wether or not pomni liked her? and was more upset that pomni seemed to be super distant towards her- shes SOOOO focused on her its crazy anywhozys I feel like part of why she seemed to "neglect" gangle and not stress about her as much was because she was probably so paranoid of pomni abstracting, she literally just witnessed her friend die in 4k can you blame her for being way all over pomni? i couldn't at least anyways this was naurt scripetd and i kinda just typed as I went w it so if this makes no sense im so sorry im not a word master <//3 tldr: ragatha was still kinda traumatized by kaufmos abstraction and hyper focused on pomni worrying shed abstract too causing her to kinda ignore gangle even when she was getting hurt as well annnyyywaays ragatha defender till i die and #1 supporter of ribbonyarn /p AND /r depending on ur take of them!!! i love her sm
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undertalethingems · 2 years ago
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Hello! I've recently been getting back into your works(but like even more the I was, because I got your Ao3) and this popped into my brain.
What do you thing about the "Papyrus never moves" theory(if you don't know what I'm talking about, https://youtu.be/S_Fas0QkWic?si=FQuGOKCnXRDNk5Uq)? It kinda seems like something you'd, at the very least like, even if you don't belive.
Anyways, just thought I'd ask!
Hey, glad you've been enjoying my stuff, thank you ^^
As for the theory, I saw it when it first started going around tumblr ^^ I don't know if I 100% buy it--it seems most likely to me that Toby made Papyrus (and Toriel, another character that doesn't really move in her fight) early on, and didn't want to go back and change it to make them move more. I don't know that whether monsters moved in their fight or not was something meant to have deeper meaning ascribed to it, haha. (Maybe it's an anti-distraction feature? Having enemies move a lot, especially earlier in the game, might make navigating the bullet hell system harder than intended. But that's just a guess)
But, it can still be a fun idea to play with, and I reference it in my "Dog and Bone(afide Friends)" one-shot, in which Doggo and Papyrus become friends, and Doggo can't see him during a sparring match. You don't have to fully accept a headcanon or theory to explore how it might affect things if it were true, and since it made for an interesting interaction between the two characters I went ahead and used it ^^
So, that's my thoughts!
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honeybadger-69 · 8 months ago
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Just thought I'd get this out there, I've started writing in a secret note app on my phone about things I want to happen or come into existence and truely belive that when I write this stuff it comes true if anyone has any ideas or comments please let me know no hate or Diss thanks enjoy♡
MY SUBCONSCIOUS
Priority high
I'm aligned with my subconscious and working together it's helping me do everything and putting it all together for me at an expert level and sorting things out if they happen or making sure they don't happen and it's looking after me like it's showing care I'm in control of my subconscious being able to truely manifest and my thoughts about what im doing is spot on and in control and my thoughts and my head and my body and my mind is all being expertly helped and sorted by my subconscious it's actively helping me and working towards a successfull outcome and it's safe from anyone else interfering or changing it or putting bad thoughts into it or creating it to be an invisionment and it's working fully and using all of itself to achieve anything is possible and things are working always state of being and anything I could ever dream of or belive is becoming a reality for me and I'm in control of my dream and reality and it's not a mess and it's the best time and no one hates it everyone is sorted that needs to be and if I end up being the world properly again my subconscious will fully support me to be the best it can be and keep everyone happy and myself happy and entertained by the absolute weird skill of the world happening around me
SMOKING A PIPE
Priority high
when I smoke the pipe I smoke it properly all the way so it's the most effective and what the ice does is it's going to make me smarter thinking faster thinking more creative things will come to me naturally magic will happen because of it it will make me process things faster problems solve really easy fix things with ease upgrade me and all my things I have and do it alot so it's really strong it will be in my system and activate the ice cells in me making the ice become more than it was and really feeling it in my system and getting me up and stimulation my central nervous system properly
MY ALIVE AND ALL ABOUT IT
priority high
I'm alive. there's no doubt about that and I'm fixed from any injury I thought I had or was shown and my alive is stronger than ever and holding me up and continuously going and supporting me and keeping me safe and not scared I'm also not feeling any dead or attached to anything that's going to make me feel otherwise me being alive is important and it's kept safe and will survive anything humanly possible and extraordinary possible it's also smarter than it ever was and will survive and keep up and safe and hidden and will help me do everything I need to like eating walking standing doing all done properly and it can also upgrade/supe up to save itself or me and it's the power and effort of something out of this world and the smartness of it is with out a doubt the best it can be and it's not anyone else or any invisionments and it's the same as myself and the self of me that will never change and my heart is in the correct and safe place and never leaves me and stays strong and alive and doesn't run out or stop ever and can do anything that is physical possible to succeed and does
MY NOTES
priority high
no one can change them they are permanent and can't get effected by anything and they are all legit like how I got them and it is always legit
and it's not effected by my thoughts or blocked by any of limitations i might have it will just happen that's it real life and in the flesh and through and can't be changed
MY SHADOW
priority high
my shadow weighs a ton it's by my side protecting me with expert skills and expertise and the absolute knowing and will power that it has and the old edit still kicks around too but my shadow is sacred and has ultra power powerfully enough to tip a cow to make someone go boo to restore me back to health and protect me from anything and it has complete control of its power and it's always full and if it gets used it fill up instantly the shadow is fast faster than normal and can use skills like that that is has to help me or supe me up or get me out of a trouble and my shadow never loses it has the best win there ever was invented in the intiety of the all and everything and has complete understanding and and can fully understand his power that never leaves him and he becomes one with it and it's not anyone or an invisionment and is the best protector from anything and the best helper that ever existed
so for starters I fix myself from all my injury or connectivity to the rinse and fix up from any of it just remove it or change it to not show (to help me know I'm rinsed kind of thing easy to handle) once that's all fixed and I'm alright to become alive again I imagine myself be able to and actually doing it is supping up or fixing up from this and completing a process to get me alive again aswell as me doing things to do that as well like my head and heart and mind and soul I do this restore all my stuff that's important all the way back to full health and myself still everything there is about me that would of got affected and begin to beat and feel my love heart/ heart same thing you know what j mean not a secondary heart or somthing like that working again instead of being told not to beat or something random like that because I'm not actually dead I just have to seem like I am that's also part of the process helping me understand the rinse or not through convincing and then to get my subconscious trained into getting alive and up easily through trying again and again different things still making sure my hearts beating and is working telling myself I'm alright this whole time then checking inside myself for anyways to help be smart and correct and on point with this process and I start by getting up and noticing a feeling of my head like it's rinsed from the injury and I tank it by getting that stuff that can sorted then after I do that and feel my heart get up then move on to going into a process like you come alive and feel like you have woken up from a nightmare remember it's important to not feel like you've woken up as someone else or you might not be yourself and once that process goes through I had a bit of scarcitues like I remember like my alive has been sleeping this whole time and it's been unaware of anything apart from when I was scared and pretend rinsed off and now it's like it's straight back to that so that's when you know you've come alive again but a different approach now to just calm down from that even if you have to fake rinse again little bit cause there someone else almost feelingvlike they are scared and shit not ment to be real and now I'm alive just need to get up/do that process again alot smoother and wake up from the moment where ij now since my heart/alive isn't in sleep mode anymore and is learning and defending and preparing naturally so I just get my self into a process started (when this process happens your heart fixes up your body and all your stuff and emotions and essence and aliveness about you that's missing fix up and is there again and so much more like a good feeling and you feel fixed and alive) by feeling alive breathing safe heart beating head thinking emotions high and lifforce lifeforcing and completer the whole process but in a much nicer way and can feel things again like the first time I tried the process but it's alot safer and I start to control my heart and my head and thoughts fix up and my body isn't weak or uncoordinated or heavy or disconnected and I'm not loose or too tight but I'm just right as what j need to be to be fixed alive save and stay alive and up just like that.
BECOMING ALIVE AGAIN FROM BEING MADE TO BELIVE I WAS DEAD
priority high
so for starters I fix myself from all my injury or connectivity to the rinse and fix up from any of it just remove it or change it to not show (to help me know I'm rinsed kind of thing easy to handle) once that's all fixed and I'm alright to become alive again I imagine myself be able to and actually doing it is supping up or fixing up from this and completing a process to get me alive again aswell as me doing things to do that as well like my head and heart and mind and soul I do this restore all my stuff that's important all the way back to full health and myself still everything there is about me that would of got affected and begin to beat and feel my love heart/ heart same thing you know what j mean not a secondary heart or somthing like that working again instead of being told not to beat or something random like that because I'm not actually dead I just have to seem like I am that's also part of the process helping me understand the rinse or not through convincing and then to get my subconscious trained into getting alive and up easily through trying again and again different things still making sure my hearts beating and is working telling myself I'm alright this whole time then checking inside myself for anyways to help be smart and correct and on point with this process and I start by getting up and noticing a feeling of my head like it's rinsed from the injury and I tank it by getting that stuff that can sorted then after I do that and feel my heart get up then move on to going into a process like you come alive and feel like you have woken up from a nightmare remember it's important to not feel like you've woken up as someone else or you might not be yourself and once that process goes through I had a bit of scarcitues like I remember like my alive has been sleeping this whole time and it's been unaware of anything apart from when I was scared and pretend rinsed off and now it's like it's straight back to that so that's when you know you've come alive again but a different approach now to just calm down from that even if you have to fake rinse again little bit cause there someone else almost feelingvlike they are scared and shit not ment to be real and now I'm alive just need to get up/do that process again alot smoother and wake up from the moment where ij now since my heart/alive isn't in sleep mode anymore and is learning and defending and preparing naturally so I just get my self into a process started (when this process happens your heart fixes up your body and all your stuff and emotions and essence and aliveness about you that's missing fix up and is there again and so much more like a good feeling and you feel fixed and alive) by feeling alive breathing safe heart beating head thinking emotions high and lifforce lifeforcing and completer the whole process but in a much nicer way and can feel things again like the first time I tried the process but it's alot safer and I start to control my heart and my head and thoughts fix up and my body isn't weak or uncoordinated or heavy or disconnected and I'm not loose or too tight but I'm just right as what j need to be to be fixed alive save and stay alive and up just like that.
MY SIZE SHAPE AND SPOT
priority high
my size is small that I'm use to without changing my shape too much and away from anything effecting me my shape is fixed with something like the new thing i put there that shape where I am and spot where I can see myself always but it's hidden from anyone doing anything to me or looking at me or changing me and I'm fixed like my face is skinny/small when I see it but it's in control not losing the big and I'm like how my hands where like smaller and bone like
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yay-kimblee · 10 months ago
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i'm interested to hear if you have any headcanons for kimblee. or maybe just some facts you think about a lot relating to him. i don't have many kimblee mutuals. we can hunt each other for sport if you want and have a 10-second head start
A 10 second head start?! You're so kind! I will gladly take any opertunity to yap about him. I could go on forever. If only I could stay on one point without without going on 100 tangents. I'm even doing it now.
As for headcanons, I don't make them, I moreso steal other people's and keep them in a little box in my mind. We all seem to be on the same page anyways (all 5 of us), which is good, if I saw someone saying something incorrect I'd have to put my phone down and take a break. (Terrible, I know.)
I like to think about the origin of all of his brain fuckery. A part of me likes the idea that he was just born like that, but at the same time, people with happy childhoods don't think that way. I love that, with time and effort, you can draw an intricate picture of how his mind works, and all you need is logic.
Kimblee does not abide by morality. This is obvious. But, all people need a value system. Something to tell them how "better" one thing is than the other. A ranking. Other examples of value sytems are things like religions and laws, they often intersect. Without these, all internal structure falls apart. Morality is a value system almost everyone is raised on, and at some point, Kimblee must've discarded it. When? What prompted it? I'd imagine it was something to do with being a big fan, or realising he was a big fan, of murder. Well fuck, suddenly the worst thing ever is also the best thing ever. This isn't working. Brain contradictions like that feel like shit. (This realisation / rewiring can be traumatic in of itself.)
Without the morality he was raised on, where does he turn to know what to value, what to think? He turned to nature.
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Value is, after all, subjective, things do not have any inherit value. We've all just made it all up. At least what kimblee belives is observable and constant. He seeks patterns like that. (He knows these things are subjective, see him talking about "the laws of nature changeing to fit the new reality." In ch92. The laws aren't changeing, just our perception of them.)
And oh, the irony to be killed by the king of the jungle and then be eaten by pride?! First time I watched it I had to stop mid way through crying to go "ah, yea I see what you did there, that was cleaver!" That was totally the way he wanted to go, in a battle of wills.
He isn't simplified as being all bad or all good. We see him genuinely admire the rockbell doctors for sticking with what they belive uintill the end. It's the same reason he didn't like what mustang and riza where saying.
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They wheren't sticking to what they belive. If they didn't want to kill people, don't put on the uniform in the first place, becuase they all knew dam well that killing people is in the job description. They made a decision, and then turned around and started whineing about it. No, no, kimblee thought it through. He's there to kill people. Oh, and that gets me onto the topic of hypocrisy.
But atlas, it is 5:40 AM and I am tired. I love having an excuse to yap about him, so feel free keep the questions coming. There is more. There is so, so, so, so much more and I hope this makes sense. I've never talked about him before and yea this is nice. I am a proud kimblee scholar.
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uniquely-plural · 10 months ago
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I am pretty sure I'm a traumagenic system (undiagnised because my parents just think im "moody" amd dont belive i have other people in my head) but I have so many questions.
Is it OK that I still think of me as me and my alters as other people? I see alot of people who say "us" and "we" but I feel like I can't speak for them.
Is it normal for, when another alter fronts, me to still see through my eyes and know what's happening, but not ve able to control or stop it? It's like my consciousness is only in the alter I consider "me" and then there are other non-me people in my head, is that weird?
Would it be weird for me to say that at some points I've had conversations with my alter out loud, and it was like i could feel a vertical split in my physical body as to which alter was where? They were sort of like a caretaker whenever I was at my darker points, so they would talk to me and I'd talk back and it allowed for physical contact like hugs, ect, but I've never seen anyone describe something similar
Also, how on earth do people figure out what alter is what? It's like my consciousness (me) is in the front park of a semi truck abd the rest are all in the back so I can't see them but I am really sure that they're there.
I havr so many questions and no one to ask T T sorry if this is too much
It's always okay to ask questions! We can do our best to answer.
There are a lot of frameworks we use to understand plurality, and I don't believe any one of them is inherently superior to another. So when you're asking yourself, 'is this okay?' - I would try to ask yourself, 'does this feel right to me? Does framing things in this way help me function better and be happier?'
One person, just as an example, could have DID and figure out that understanding their alters as completely separate people from him was holding back his trauma recovery. Understanding his alters as part of himself and developing compassion and acceptance for them could be therapeutic.
For another system, knowing they are completely separate people who just happen to share a body is the understanding they need to be respectful towards each other and work together.
So yes, in your case? It's totally okay, normal, and common to feel like your alters are other people and you cannot speak for them. Some people always feel this way, and then some people feel like that at the beginning, but their understanding changes once they get to know their system more, or if they work on improving disordered dissociate barriers.
We can speak as an unit because we have a monoconscious, median system core. In other systems, each member prefers to speak only for themselves. That's also perfectly fine.
As for still seeing through your eyes while another alter fronts, that does sound possible if you have no amnesia barriers and possibly co-fronting, in the sense someone else is fronting as in 'control of the body' while you are still in front as in 'awareness of the outside world'. You could look into possession and possession style switches.
In polyconscious systems, members have their own individual consciousness.
It's not weird to have conversations out loud, if that's what helps you communicate. And that link to the possession entry mentions how it can also be experienced as an alter taking control of part of the body, so it sounds like you might have been in control of one half and your alter was in control of the other one, which makes sense to me. I'm very glad to hear they took care of you.
Not being aware of a lot of information about your alters or system is very common. Developing a better understanding is often a process of trying things and finding what works for your system, and it can vary a lot depending on things like level of internal communication, what barriers are present, etc. This post on Mapping your system could point you towards some possibilities.
I hope you found that helpful, and thank you for sharing your experiences.
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lh0808 · 26 days ago
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thinking
hate is just a tool to make you a fool if you hate you make yourself a fool dont be fooled dont be tooled Make you free and just be
do u wanna hate so why do you hate
does it make you feel great does it help to escape
Dont judge your just human like everybody else we all humans you me he she nobody you buddy muslims, christans, jews men, woman black, white i dont care no one can be right
if they judge It dosnt make them much might give you much but do you feel like much if you are makeing descinsons based on it then your out of touch you have to wash your thoughts not anbody else
who gave you power to judge poeple who judge they dont think much
Be free be you be everyone your no one Im no one were no ones but some no ones think they know once make everyone belive but it doenst make it real
we are all everything and nothing were just something were everything we know thats nothig thats all we know nothing were just guessing minds cant form Knowledge we have to akknoledge
whats that man whos perspektive is right or wrong if we can just mean If you think you know man youre just mean not even science knows, guess what science is guessing is what it is
were just thinking and think we know you cant test and be objektive with our thoughts man thats not true your minds cant form knowledge we can only think from thought to thought and make a connection and think that we know but connecting and thinking in patterns cant always be true how can a thought transform to knowledge
when we think our thought is knowledge that you have to share we have to keep in mind and be aware what our thoughts can bring for consiquences and then only say it if we truley belive they are benneficial
we cant always have helpful things in mind when we think it might not be right we act on it becaus we think were right your brain is telling you your thoughts opressed by norms and rules if we dont think our thought its truely right we act "like everybody else" and just lie and say our right your formed thoughts cant always be right
If youre not sure get others perspektives and think about them dont act on things you hear without thinking about them
how can you know though You dont know I dont know we just say that we know so we dont start guessing becaus many people have an anti-sozial persepctive
but in an antisozial perspektive can only form future society because anti sozial is based on the norms of our society dont we see how languge is changing our mind dont close youre eyes and dont be blind money dosnt always shine
why ban antisozial oppinions if our society wants to change we dont have to break free but rather ask is that really right or wrong or why could they say so that its wrong is it really bennifical not to do for society or just not beniffical for the people that dont care about our benefits
anti sozial is wrongly framed wrongly named we have to take a look do I help or not help all people with my thoughts and is the other side even affected or do they just talking from their perspektive
why dont take from the wealthy they wont even struggle while people daily have to struggle why not share money you dont need thats just greed we should call benefical anti social thinking anti opression if no one is negativly affected
the poeple that can think like that they take to their boat so they dont make everyone belive and dont make them get overflowed mankind is to greedy and not kind we live in a society where you can not be happy about a child money is destroying families
why hate each other for a thing we cant controll if you dont have money go to people who can controll when they dont care why should you care our sozial system is just keeping crimes low so they dont have to pay a socially beniffical thought moved by greed thats just greed
MLK was considered anti sozial but where his thoughts not beneficial for society or just for the opressors why did they give rights because they feard for their lives
their thoughts are considered trash but who knows what they could think calling someone names for something they cant conroll thats how the world rolls
u used to be not accepted for beeing a gay why do we hate love and not see how bad perspectives can be only because you dont understand dosnt mean that you can judge who made you think you matter that much why dont you give your opinion on important topics when you can only recall not thinking and only be controlled keep your thoughts for yourself if you cant explain they arent yours and cause others pain why hurt someone with things you dont even think
gays tried to use the same system of langue framing but it didnt work why cant we use gay as happy anymore
Thats fucked up we fucked up
Right and wrong are only perspective like bad and good adverbs are only there to describe perspektives and not realities how can we use adverbs instead of adjektives in media to controll our minds and make us belive and not think why belive when you have the power to think
dont judge from your perspective and say your thoughts are objektive Thoughts are the most subjetive thing ever to exist we exist to think and learn not to know how can we know if we cant know
never say never or always or i will cross your way listen to me and let your perspektive change and blow your brain away cus u dont need it thats opression think like that or you get killed or were going to form your world
how can we kill based on perspektives who gave us the power to judge
why take a live if u wanna live why are we giving killing a reason we wanna live them people also wanna live wars are not based on wanna live they are based on wanna have if they wouldnt want people to die they woud hear words and dont lie
wanna have is produced thru money and the state controlls the money you dont get happienes from consumption they give you small wishes that you can achive thru money so the good thinkers are pleased so you they dont wanna have what they have the power over money is evil our system dindt change its just not as see thru see you?
dont be fooled dont be tooled War is only economical for a few to profit if they would care bout you they wouldnt send you to war You dont have to die when your a civillian you will die if your going to war
they use the power of fears and lies we have to embrace fear as something good why do we fear why do we tear to learn what we have to change
we can only grow if we think about fear maybe that could cost a tear but tears are infinite and human lives gon finish
why die for money they can print they can buy lives thats too fucked up and we dont even try to look up
keep you in a system so u dont ask they give you a task but is that your task do they care how you feel are they gon ask why care how they feel
they tell you your an egoist if your trying to safe your self but when did they help why care bout people that dont care share with people that care but dont relay on words that could be faked dont look in the past that could have changed make your mind clear and look in the future how they gon act is who they are
when they would unterstand you would see but do you see a change or do you only not see the problem anymore they try to hide and say they changed but tru actions you can see talk with the people and make them clear how and what you feel let them tell you how they could change but if they are not willing you dont always have to change youre the hurt one not the hurter why let the victims change if the opressor has to change the system of opression or were going to fall in an depression without any expression dont let them de-press your oppinion let them know why you express like that
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syscultureis · 2 years ago
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Im sorry if this isnt appropriate to ask, you dont have to answer considering you lean more anti-endo, but I dont understand what arguments are there for pro or even neutral endo? Ive honestly really tired to understand because ive seen quite a few systems now say things like "I use to be anti-endo but now ive been informed" or "I use to be anti-endo but ive been educated" and im just not getting? Whats compelling these people to start beliving in the existence of non trauma based DID? Have I just not been informed enough? I tired doing research about it but all I could really fine were people saying "Well we dont know everything about the human mind so you dont know whats posible, you cant tell people what their experiencing is wrong" (I just dont really agree with this point) or if someone just believes spiritually they have like ghosts in the brain??? (As an ashiest I just cant get behind that one) Or they seem to have a bunch of links to studies that supposably prove that scientists also believe in endos but ive yet to read all of them threw but from briefly glancing at a few of these links most of them dont even link to studies having anything to do with them. Its all just very confusing to be honest and I wanted to get someone else perspective on it.
I think most of it is people either A) being tired of getting hate and giving in and just saying they're pro-endo
B) They read the articles endos link, not realizing a majority of them are not made by unbiased people who have actually done proper study. Most of the articles I've seen endos and pro-endos link are not actually done by people who have the correct resources, or they go into a study already biased and instead of doing a double blind or keeping their biases out of their studies, they do the full study themselves and let their biases effect the results. But if you haven't taken actual psychology classes you likely don't know to watch out for these things, and it's easy to look at them and think "oh yeh, these are professional and real so they're right" even tho they're not
Or C) They doom scrolled through pro-endo shit so much that their brain started to agree with it because they were submerging themselves in the community, and when you do that with anything enough your brain will start to justify it, especially if it's causing you stress because the brain wants to solve the stress issue so it just starts to make you think you agree with what's being said
We've actually had C almost happen to us with a few things because some of us have issues with doom scrolling, but were lucky enough to be able to realize when it starts ro happen and take a step back from it
I really don't fault people for being tricked by the misinformation, or just giving up on getting hate for no reason
It's just frustrating to see people act as if because they used to be anti-endo and now they're not they're suddenly enlightened and must be right
We used to be pro-endo, and now we're not and we don't use that as a way to show our view point as the right one.
We will always encourage people to do their own research, and whether they end up pro/neu/anti endo we don't care after that as long as they've researched with actual good sources
If we could find good sources on non-traumagenic systems being possible we would absolutely change our views again, but we've looked. When we were pro-endo we were desperate to justify things, and we just could not find an actual reliable source
So yeh, always do your own research, form your own opinions, just always also make sure the research you're looking at is reliable
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