#i believe we should be friends though
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I must confess that I forsake you, for you are akin to my dark twin in nearly every regard, save for one your slightly scorched nature, which, though minor, sets you apart. In every other way, you mirror me, as though the shadows of our likeness were cast in such a way that only the faintest of differences remain, yet those differences, however slight, seem to define us in a manner that is both unsettling and fascinating
I must confess that I embrace you, for you are akin to my light twin in nearly every regard, save for one your slightly pure nature, which, though minor, sets you apart. In every other way, you mirror me, as though the shadows of our likeness were cast in such a way that only the faintest of differences remain, yet those differences, however slight, seem to define us in a manner that is both fascinating and endearing.
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Beach Boy! Barney, jumping for joy during a trip to the beach in July of 2012.
#I don't usually post politics stuff online - even in the tags!#BUT I am currently in a state of massive relief after seeing the exit polls for our General Election in the UK today#This happy pic seemed an appropriate one to post in light of it looking as though the Tories will be out by morning!#I mean... I won't fully believe & celebrate until the *actual* results are in but the exit poll is usually pretty bang on... so YAY!#Prediction is that we will have a landslide victory for Labour - even if it's a bit wrong it looks like Labour *should* win easily#I don't massively like the current Labour party but I loathe the Conservatives & what they've done over the past 14yrs#Where I live the Tories are still actually likely to win (ick!) unless the Green Party pull off something amazing#but I don't even care about our local result much - I just want Labour to win overall & it looks like they will#Oh! Happy Independence Day to our friends across the pond!!#We will all be keeping our fingers crossed for your upcoming election results later in the year!#throwback thursday#barney#border collie#beach
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two wrongs WILL make a right! ive got another lease on life, and im using it well, who cares if this is all fucked up cause we're all GOING TO HELL! IM JUST WILLIAM WHO SHOULD BE DEAD, HAD TO FOLLOW THE THREAD, thought he was just chillin! now he is a villain! HES ALWAYS SUCH A BUMMER, HE WANTS TO TRUST HIS BROTHER WILLIAM IN A HALLWAY BY HIMSEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd spoilers#william wisp#RRAAHHHHGH I KNOW THEIR LIL PARODY OF MICHEAL IN A BATHROOM OR WHATEV WAS SLIGHTLY COMEDIC. LIKE WIWI IN A HALLWAY#HAHAAA HIS NAME IS WIWI ISNT THAT FUNNY. ISNT THAT FUCKIN FUNNY. AND YYYEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!!#WILLIAM IS SO FUCKIN SAD DUDE... ESPECIALLY DURING THE GRAYSCALE ARC. HE REALLY THINKS HES BETTER OFF DEAD.#HIS FIRST DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT! AND THEN HE WAS SADDLED WITH ALL SORTS OF POWERS AND RESPONSIBILITY HE DIDNT FUCKIN WAANT#AND IT TURNS OUT HES STILL DEAD! HIS BODY IS ROTTING AND FALLING APART AS WE SPEAK!! THATS SO FUCKING SCARY!!!#BUT THEN. OOOHH BUT THEN HIS WONDERFUL FRIEND DAKOTA TELLS HIM. ILL GIVE YOU MY HEART SO YOU CAN LIVE AGAIN. AND IT WORKS!!!#WILLIAM ACCEPTS LIFE AND REJECTS THE WISP POWERS AND FEELS SO SO THANKFUL TO HIS WONDERFUL BEST FRIEND DAKOTA.#A DEBT TO REPAY EVEN IF DAKOTA WILL NEVER CASH IN ON IT. HES JUST A PERFECT HERO LIKE THAT.. BUT WILLIAM.. OHH ROTTING LIL WILLIAM..#EVEN WITH NEW BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH HIM HES STILL DEAD INSIDE. HES STILL USELESS. POWERLESS. SELFISH AND IMPULSIVE AND STUPID AND JUST.#NOT A HERO. WHICH IS FINE! IF ONLY HE WAS A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO RETURN THE FAVOR TO DAKOTA THOUGH. BUT HES NOT. HE DOESNT THINK SO.#WILIAM REALLY BELIEVES THAT HE IS FORSAKING EVERY GIFT OF LIFE HE HAS BEEN GIVEN. HE THINKS HE SHOULD BE DEAD BUT HES TOO SCARED TO DIE#JUST FAR TOO SCARED.. OF EVERYTHING.... WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT BRINGS US HERE. I GUESS THE GOOD NEWS IS THEYLL FORGET.#HE JUST WANTED TO TRUST HIS BROTHER. HE WANTED TO HAVE A BROTHER AND FIX THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND HONESTLY?#I THINK I WOULD DO THE SAME THING IN HIS SITUATION. MAYBE USE MY WORDS BETTER BUT YKNOW. THATS HIS BROTHER!!!#OKAy okay william makes me sooo EMOTIONAL but now ill mention the ART#THIS WAS Aboutthe time i actually figured out how to draw the white streak in williams hair. IT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH ORIGINALLY but imPROU#AND THE SHARP SPIRALS!! I LOVE THE SHARP SPIRALS. I LOVE DRAWING HIS HAIR JUST IN GENERAL... I JUS LOVE DRAWIN WIWI...#OHH And xavior... poor xavior... theyre still looking for cantrip arent they? they have no idea where she is..and DAVID YOU BIIITCH#david bell is such a good fucking antagonist. he COMPLETELY believes himself to be in the right and bizly plays him SO WELLL!!#BECAUSE HES SMART!! AND SMART PEOPLE CAN LOGIC THEIR WAY THROUGH ANYTHING! THATS WHY SMART PPL FALL INTO CULTS TOO!#BC A SMART PERSON CAN FIND A GOOD WAY TO JUSTIFY ALMOST ANYTHING TO THEMSELF. DAVID IS SMART AND THATS SCAARRYYYY...#IM So excited to see the consequences of williams actions carry on into season 3. i hope they contact allen and exavior and do. idk. someth
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not to be tmi about it, but once upon a time life presented me the opportunity to have a fiery romance with my favorite journalist with whom i have a 25 yr age gap and who is a dilf
#— ai rambles#who is also a writer and now he’s a politician LOL#he’s not what you consider objectively attractive but i was in love with his brain#back then he also worked in the radio so i listened to him and read everything religiously#i admired him so much….#and i ended up sending him a friend request on FB lmao#which he accepted I WAS SHOOK#i was in uni back then 1st year ended it was summer break into my 2nd year#he texted me….and i couldn’t believe it like the man i’ve admired for so long is talking to me??????#so we slowly started texting every day….until at some point he was sending me books by mail for me to read#we were talking about meeting when i got back to [redacted] where my uni is and where i live now#bc during summer breaks i was usually at my parents house in my hometown#but i chickened out guys bc 1) the age gap scared me i was like super young okay#and 2) i wasn’t sure if he wasn’t with the woman he had kids from#men can say anything to you and you should never trust them 🤞#i did a hardcore research on the internet all fbi mode to find out about any possible clues that might hint at him still being#involved with her but i couldn’t find anything bc he’s super private about his life 💔#i slowly distanced myself from him bc what if they were still together#i didn’t want to be a homewrecker#i can be anything but i’ll never be that#i just had my doubts and suspicions and i am glad i bailed like that bc now that woman is listed as his partner when you search him up#which ofc doesn’t mean they were together all along maybe they separated and got back together#but feels like i dodged a bullet LOL#he still likes my posts on FB though and by posts i mean my photos i share from ig#but yea LOL#idk why i was suddenly reminded of him#maybe he’s thinking about me too LMAO
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Something about this interaction between Harry & Janeway - specifically Janeway but it's notable that Harry's the one listening because I think, say, Chakotay or B'Elanna might push back against the idolization of this 'it was different back in those days' way of thinking.
#Get the Tranq she's 'Good Old Boys'-ing!#never beating the Starfleet stooge accusations#which I think should have been brought up more between her and Chakotay#instead of just making Chakotay like Starfleet again so they can be together#the Tuvok/Chakotay/Janeway command trio should have been like#Janeway: I love Starfleet in an uncomplicated way and though it's painful sometimes I believe following code is the only way to proceed#Tuvok: I agree with the captain and this makes her believe in her decisions more - though I would attempt to obey her commands even if they#weren't regulation.#<- Janeway doesn't want to examine this#Chakotay: I hate Starfleet because of very valid reasons and I don't think following orders and codes from superiors is the best thing#in every situation. I want everyone here to examine their biases which cannot necessarily be done if biases are written into the#codes. We aren't in Starfleet space. We might have to adapt.#but it's nowhere near that nuanced bc you know. Starfleet Good. Starfleet Good. Starfleet Good. Maquis Bad. Maquis Bad. Maquis Bad.#Or you know: 'Maquis doing this the WROOONG way...violence isn't the answer :(' maybe violence is the answer sometimes.#when it's the only language the people in power understand.#maybe 'let's talk about this' is an insidious military tactic sometimes actually#Also Harry immediately going from 'They falsified logs?' to 'I always wondered it'd be like back then...~'#He and Janeway................Him and Janeway are!!! AGH#People think Harry's way too timid. They think this because he's asian and an ensign so they make him timid & obedient#But he's very willing to break or bend the rules - he's willing to fight he likes action and adventure and he's very similar to Janeway#where they'll both die and go to hell and come back just to save their crew - their friends - their family
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Oh on last rb's note my friend actually read love bullet per my recommendation hehe and she likes it and it makes me so so happy hehe
#kk rambles#when ppl actually look into the things that u rec or are interested in... wowie... hand in marriage (platonic) u.u#omg u actually were listening to me and remembered and looked into it... heart full of love crying tears of happiness...#that one image of the cat crying. that's me. that's me. planting a big metaphorical smooch on your forehead. i love you.#which ik it sounds silly but i get really moved by things like that ok!! my friend sends me alnst memes even tho she hasn't watched it#and it's like oh u were thinking abt me oh u sent this to me just bc i like it 🥺🥺🥺#I can't believe i exist in your mind even when im not there hehe icb u think about me im going to make pancakes for you in the morning.#we are getting a mansion together and living together forever.#everyone's love languages are a little different and mine are so weird lmao what do you mean i get so touched when ppl think of me#do you think you don't exist as a concept when you're not physically there do you think other ppl don't have object permanence lmao#oh wait#yeah it's the effect of dating someone who made u feel like u didn't exist unless u were initiating stuff n engaging w them /j#but my friends are so sweet to me rahhh#i love my friends#why are my standards so low when my friends are all so nice and treat me well 😭😭😭#so mad that my bsf is happily in a relationship (good for her honestly im v happy for her)#bc now I can't go like. if we're single at 30 let's get married. no homo. just that we've known e/o for so long it would be comfortable#it's crazy bc it's not like i want a romantic relationship but i hate feeling lonely but i also really like my own personal space and time#and I don't really like the small inevitable conflicts that arise from close relationships even though it's part of putting the work in#but i like a certain amount of stability and predictability (autism) so i think what i need. is a roommate.#a friend who lives together w me but in separate rooms but i can cook for them type cohabitation lmaoo#but that's kinda idealistic and kinda gay lmao#my friend called me a friend simp and my other friend joked that i should have a queer platonic cule.#like rahhh yeah i really do love my friends a lot i wanna see them forever they're great and amazing and i love them so much#it's nice to be loved!!! it's nice to be cared abt!!! my friends make me really happy!!!#ik from societal standards I'm a deviation and what i feel is more intense than what normal ppl consider friendships to be like but#I don't quite understand the categorization of human social interactions sometimes ig. why should i cap how much im allowed to love someone#if i love someone i want to see them happy and i want to do things for them and I'm not the type to half ass things.#but society is weird abt things and whatnot but it's fine as long as my friends understand and know i love them hehe#anyway love bullet arospec representation!!! let girls shoot people!!! /hj
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Im so sorry i played Our Life: beginnings and always and not only has it sucker punched me with bittersweet feelings of life and change and relationships but its also thrown me into brain rot hell of it. Im sorry if ocean boy cove floods your feed get it? Its a pun
#t-n talks#personal#our life: beginnings & always#olba#i love him so much i love them all so much i need to replay with all the dlcs and get shiloh to come to our wedding#because i named a fosh after him in like step 2 or 3 and i missed him and i dont care if he lied to us im sorry shiloh#come baaack#but also baxter what happened baxter we missed you so much youre important to us youre important to meeeeeee#everyones my friend now how do i have jeremy at my wedding but not shiloh? jeremy you should have made shiloh suffer tooooo#im so glad i got jeremy though god i felt for him so bad like genuinely what was wrong while he was mean to us#i just wanted to be nice and friends but also dont be mean to cove and im so glad hes mellowed out a bit hes really a good kid sometimes#i love them all so much dereeeekkkkk hes such a good friend god hes SUCH A GOOD FRIEND im screaming#and baxter baxter baxter baxter sometimes i dont think hes in love with us but in love with our relationship but also like#i wouldnt mind us three being closer because youre fucking important to me baxter just like jeremy#youre all part of this found family gay as shit now if i can be adopted then that means i can adopt you too!!!#god but seriously? like i expected to cry because of relationship love drama at first not because i was having#complicated feelings about being adopted and my relatiinship with my sister god ive never had an older sister really#and my siblings and i arent super close but im adopted and i dont think ive ever wanted something more than this family#this game man i just god my fiance was like “i dont think this game was meant to be so deep/intense” but like its a visual novel#novels are meant to invoke feelings and thoughts and discussion and reflection at least thats what i believe every story has a purpose#its up to us to figure out what its purpose is maybe not in general but to us what can we take away from it and god#it makes me want to hold onto my friendships tightly and reach out to everyone i knew/know#i have too many tags on here because of brain rot but i love this game and im so excited for the next one and i would love to download#like my log of the entire game so that i can recap everything at like my leisure#just cause im not gonna remember all my choices and stuff
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shoutout to brian may for constantly coming through with all the Inexpressibly Fucking Melancholy songs we could ever need. long away '39 all dead all dead some day one day leaving home ain't easy... hell even his demos. listen to you know you belong to me and water and tell me you don't feel like ben affleck on bench with cigarette dot png. every band needs one member who is just so sad All the time and Will make it the entire discography's problem and i am so serious
#queen band#sure freddie roger and john have their share of dramatic sad songs too#but brian's oeuvres just really hit the existentially terrified child inside me#the one who's constantly sitting on a beach at night looking up at the stars. good shit#take heart my friend we love you though it seems like you're alone a million lights above you smile down upon your home.#in the year of 39 came a ship in from the blue the volunteers came home that day#and they bring good news of a world so newly born though their hearts so heavily weigh.#don't you hear my call though you're many years away don't you hear me calling you.#all dead all dead but i should not grieve in time it comes to everyone#all dead all dead but in hope i breathe of course i don't believe you're dead and gone all dead and gone.#i'm all through with ties i'm all tired of tears i'm a happy man don't it look that way?#when i was you and you were me and we were very young together took us nearly there the rest may not be sung#so still the cloud it hangs over us and we're alone but some day one day we'll come home.#leaving home ain't easy but may be the only way.#i have to stop and think sometimes let the water roll a while let the days go by under my feet....#you know. lyrics like that. i go fucking INSANE.
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every day, my new initiative to wait til a show is done airing to watch it seems more and more like the right choice. And it's not all shows mind you (I'm literally watching 3 right now), just shows that I have high expectations for, especially with plot and themes. It seems like pretty much every time I get my hopes up, the story inevitably fumbles so i'm better off waiting til it's over so I can get my expectations in order.
Like, I want to watch these shows while they're airing and join in the discussions and stuff but I also hate being disappointed when the show doesn't live up to my expectations and lately it seems almost inevitable that it won't, especially from gmmtv.
#last twilight was the worst offender because I initially did hold off due to lingering feelings from vv and then by like ep 8 it was still#strong so I thought it would be fine and then we all know how that went#the addicted remake which I really did want to be good#my love mix up thai which I should've held off on honestly because even watching a couple episodes of that made me so frustrated#and depressed#4 minutes#my expectations weren't as high as other people's but it was still kinda eh#I saw you in my dream#blank#debating whether the on1y one should be on here hmm because the announcement about the second season does have me feeling less annoyed but#also I'm still annoyed#I hear the sunspot#oh wandee good day cannot believe I forgot about that one#and peaceful property because that's what's inspiring this right now#only friends! though I don't regret watching that week by week#it was an Experience#25 in akasaka#there's probably so many I'm missing just because my memory is shit and I especially don't remember them if I end up dropping them out of#my watch list#which I've been doing a lot this year#23.5#I'm trying to have no expectations for Pluto other than being insane#hopefully it serves me well
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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can't believe all my roommate's friends were so actively working against me when it came to who gets the big room with the balcony attached to it and in the end she actually got it....
#we agreed to make it fair by drawing lots for it#but i ended up suggesting to use the spinning wheel generator so that it's really up to luck#and i can't believe i shot myself in my own foot with this bc she actually got the big room#even though in the beginning of the year i asked if i could have it when the other roommate moves out#(we knew for a while that she'd move out in summer)#but then my roommate asked if we could draw lots maybe and i said yes bc i didn't wanna be an asshole 😭#but now she actually got the big room and now i kinda regret not putting my foot down and claiming it#bc on my side everyone told me i could just say that i've been in the flatshare the longest and therefore i could claim the room#but idk i wanted to be nice and look where it got me#it's not the end of the world bc my current room is still nice it's just the smallest#but i'm really complaining abt nothing ig#at least i'm saving money on rent 😅#but the big room would have been saur nice tbh....#and the fact that my windows still fave the balcony and now the roommate who constantly invites friends over has the balcony .........#you see where i'm getting at 😵💫#let's hope i'll get some good sleep the next few week before it's too cold to be on the balcony CJSJCHS#but yeah with her friends working against me i also mean that a lot of them smoke so apparently they told her that she should get the room#bc she smokes and has friends that smoke as if i am not worthy of a balcony bc i don't smoke like 🫠#idk i felt like i was the only nice on in the scenario who was willing to play fair even though i didn't have to and her friends were still#lowkey pissing on my leg behind my back yk#she was nice about it but her friends get the side eye from me abt the whole thing 😶#sorry for the rant#delete later#000
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ummmm
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c6b233d49d3973695619c8ff6d542a35/d5c050938bea9a3b-01/s540x810/751043aab420fb1830cc7db7df1dfaa093b3a994.jpg)
#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~#my favorite image on this device btw ^#cw negative#cw vent#you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than-#-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so#but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but#my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i-#-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something-#-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because-#-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles-#-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all#i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me#i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years-#-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and-#-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great-#-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do?#how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time?#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though#so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun-#-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!!#how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol#everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit#i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden
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i need to get my ass to some womens sports games wtf am i doing
#i’ve spent so many years around annoying art gays. said with love#god throwback to my friends and i halloween weekend hearing the womens rugby team was at our friends party#we Ran. and missed them. </3#anyway. all this to say watching the wilds is a little much rn i’m literally giggling to myself#i should try to meet some science nerds. i love science nerds#can’t believe me and the butch who recommended me russian poetry and talked abt medieval torture with me. right#can’t believe we didn’t fuck nasty. i fumbled that bad. her name was karen though it threw me off 😭#wait no what team was she on. i gotta figure this out. swimming or some shit
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I hate when people who want to "help" me are only doing it to make themsleves happy or comfortable and not me.
when people are basically like "how dare you not take my advice and do what I told you! dont dismiss me and what I say! I don't care if it doesn't work for you/make you happy/makes things harder for you, it makes me feel good when you do what I say and listen to me!"
i've had friends like this. one more recently from an ex friend group who straight up told me I was dismissing her for not even "trying" to do what she says, despite me saying I tried it previously and it didn't work. she always got upset at me if I had any problems with her advice and it didn't work. telling me i'm lazy and dismissive and giving up and making her feel bad because she's "just trying to help"
if you want to help someone, you have to make then happy, not yourself. meet their needs and work out the roadblocks that get in the way. dont call them dismissive for not taking your advice when YOURE dismissive of their needs and struggles. it's not about you of you're "juat trying to help" and especially of you claim you care about the person.
#lee rambles#dont know what to tag this#the ex friend who most recently said this to me was also the same one who claimed to be autistic as a gotcha moment#to be dismissive of my struggles with being autistic because she can do thjngs easily so that means i should 🙄#she really is good at projecting. being dismissive of me and claiming im dismissive. gaslighting me and saying i am instead#idk what her issue was but she seemed to take out her issues on me??? after she kicked the one she liked least from thr group#who she previously projected her issues onto it seems like she moved to me until i was basically booted from the group through ghosting#and getting uninvited from the group trip for no reason. and she cant even talk to me herself. she sends our other friend to do it#one who i believe didn't actually have an issue with me but she still chose the manipulative one over me so i have issue with her#and they stole my pther friend from me and turned her against me#so i just left and gave up#screw them!!!!!#oops tags got super off topic um ignore these................#lee rants#i did manage to actually find a therapist that takes my insurance though so i cam discuss these things with her#so the more i write about them the easier i will be to collect them when i need to email them to her once we get there
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