#i believe ive made myself clear
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
bananamiimii · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
water cuties !!
23 notes · View notes
meistoshi · 2 years ago
Text
been catching up with idw sonic & oooough,, ooooooooouggh,,,,,,
Tumblr media Tumblr media
6 notes · View notes
b-i-ngo · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
Mmrrrrpp mrp mrpmm
21 notes · View notes
juniestar · 5 months ago
Text
Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
3 notes · View notes
pepprs · 2 years ago
Text
ok hi. not to be stupid about this publicly once again but it’s 5:34 am [update it is now 5:53 am] and i have gotten absolutely HORRIBLE sleep tonight. first bc i was so stressed that i couldn’t fall asleep until 1:30am. then because my sister is sleeping in our room again (long story) which is good for her bc she’s making progress w her ocd but it means that she comes in with h the flashlight on after 2am and has to check the room and she leaves the bedroom door wide open which distorts the white noise from the sojnd machine which is right in front of my bed. and she’s like laughing at stuff on her phone too so all the subtleties of sound and light disrupt me and wake me up and throw me off. and also it’s freakishly hot so i woke up a couple times bc of that. and now im awake at 5:30ish after barely sleeping for 4 hours bc im stressed bc it’s Passover and my moms bday and im leaving work early today and tomorrow for the “””””Seder””””” (which again literally is not a seder it’s just dinner w my grandpa) and barely have time to get anything done at work and haven’t done anything for my mom and have to clean the house for my grandpa to come over and we literally don’t even have a dinner table yet likr idkw aht the fuck we’re going to do.. and also im fucking STARVING. because guess what!!!! we have to stop eating bread!!!! and i usually have 4 slices with avocado / guac on them before i go to sleep but there were only 4 slices left in the whole house so i had 2 so my brother will get to have the other 2 during the day. and my stomach is howling rn. and we have other things to eat like fruit and stuff but nothing that’s not going to throw me off.. like im not about to eat an orange at 5:30am it’s going to set my throat on fire with the acid this early in the morning. and we don’t have any snack foods in this house or like anything that can be made without having to prepare it for a while bc of our diet (lol). and we don’t have any flatbread or tortillas or whatever yet. so im going fucking crazy and feeling resentful abt passover again and wondering what the hell im going to do going into work and not being able to eat bagels for breakfast after not being able to eat my bedtime snack and being this hungry and stressed and miserable for a week on top of everything else. lol
#purrs#food#religion tw#(sorry lol)#delete later#ive had a lot of conversations in the last few days (some of them w other jewe) and everyone’s assuring me it’s fine if i keep eating bread#if it’s for health reasons and im not going to experience kareth for that. esp bc i already do things on the kareth list and also gay sex is#on there too and there’s a lot of stuff on there abt ppl being impure for having their periods too so.. just my two sent’s but i think thats#all ​fucking insane and a clear sign that those rules were not made by god and that they were made by prejudiced human beings. bc i believe#in spinozas god i think. and spinozas god would not punish humans for being humans. and would not want humans to suffer and suppress#themselves out of worship. though im not saying that you shouldn’t suffer or suppress yourself or whatever or find meaning in that if you#want to like im thinking abt Yom Kippur and stuff. but idk. im so conflicted. i stirred up this whole big crisis for myself about being#jewish and it’s very embarrassing and i don’t want to die or doom my future children or go to hell or whatever but apparently that’s already#gonna happen to me for like.. not observing shabbat and almost certainly cutting fruit during Shabbat so. whatever. but continuing to eat#bread during Passover feels like a totally different thing to me. but also i know actual jewish ppl who do not observe passover and i don’t#judge them for that or think they’re doomed to kareth. so idk. it’s all so fucked up. i want to be full and i want to go back to sleep and i#want to stop worrying about religion and constantly being afraid im invoking cosmic consequences for living my life and wanting to make#choices that feel good for me. bc it s already so fucking hard to make choices when im worried abt my moms judgment and trying to not hurt#my family ang more than i already do by existing and feeling my way. bringing god into it too is a whole other level of distress and misery
9 notes · View notes
gobstoppr · 6 months ago
Text
alright so ive fully caught up with magnus and protocol. and thank god for that. i can scroll the main tag and see peoples awful takes like a true fan
0 notes
irregodless · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
dude this game sucks so bad im gonna kill everyone on the planet then myself
1 note · View note
bl00dlight · 6 months ago
Text
A Song of Shadow & Flame
CANON Dark! Aemond Targaryen x OC niece Targaryen. | SERIES
All NSFW warnings apply in future chapters.
Author's note • After my recent rant, Ive decided to feed the girlies who want fics that align with canon Aemond. Sooooo Im coming home for my girls with an fire & blood timeline retelling & not just more boring ass Mary Sue × Aemond smut. So we are starting from the beginning. The vibe is, "I could make him significant worse".
Word Count ~ 1.4k
Index
i ● ii ● iii ● iv ● v ● vi● vii ●viii ●ix ● x ● xi ● xii ● xiii ● xiv ● xv
Tumblr media
ii ~ 'Age of Hero's'
123 AC
It was not until later that night the young princess saw her uncle again. It took little effort to convince the Kings guard that she was not here to continue to jeer at the prince, but rather to give a sincere apology. At least, that is what she had told herself. It had not occurred to her, why or how men oft bended to her will. In truth, Visenya had little thoughts on such things, for all she knew, she asked and received accordingly – and if she did not receive, she would promptly sway until her desires were met.
It was this very naivety, this innate trust that the world would simply open its loving arms for her whenever she pleased, that worried her mother and father so dearly. Both knowing the ways of men, the violence and sickness that dwelled in her heads, most especially about a Princess of Valyrian blood. Seen less so for her heart and more for her blood born proximity to the God’s themselves. To power of fire made flesh, and of course. The beauty which came with Valyrian blood.
Visenya entered Aemond’s room quietly, and when she came before him, came before his body splayed out upon his bed she swiftly averted her gaze. The princess cleared her throat, a small noise of a disturbance left his mouth as he jumped, swiftly propping himself upwards.
“What are you doing in here? You ought-” His voice laced with outraged as The Princess interrupted.
“Temper yourself. I’ve not come to goad you. I just, I came to apologise.” A small laugh left her, she put her hand up.
“I do not give a shit.” Aemond snapped.
Visenya tilted her head, scanning him, “Fine. But I shall do so anyway.”
“Why?” Asked Aemond, the air teaming with uncertainty as he watched his sly niece walk slowly, stalking through his room like a cat.
“Because it is right, it is what is owed, and I’ve no intention being in your debt.” Visenya sighed, her voice almost aloof, smug. Her eyes look in the space, the perfectly kept books and scrolls upon his desk. The princess reached the dark mahogany desk that was seemly gleamed in the firelight. It seemed the prince had little taste nor need for decor, he seemed to only own objects for utilitarian purposes, he was so… conservative, Visenya thought. In fact, the only unkept thing was an open book, her pale fingers grazed the pages. Clearly, he had taken it from her Grandsire’s personal Library. She looked at the top, small writing detailing the topic ‘Age of Heros: Symeon Star-Eyes’. She had never heard of such a thing, her thoughts interrupted as another pale hand snatched the book away.
The prince’s eyes met hers with a venomous glare as placed the small book back upon his desk, “I find it difficult to believe you care about what is right.”
Visenya scoffed in response as she paced to the other side of the desk, her fingers as cunning as she as they found his book once more, “True. Perhaps I don’t, however it hardly matters. For even if I am saying it to benefit myself, my meaning is sincere.”
Frustration and rage tore through Prince Aemond as he then turned and stepped forward, who was she to dare apologise? After all this time, all these years of enduring her fucking bastard brothers torment? No, no Aemond would not tolerate it, he was not one to embrace pity. “I’ve no reason to accept your pathetic apology and I have no use for the rag of pity you continue to throw at me!” He snapped.
Visenya found herself taken aback by the fire in his eyes, she felt her own frustration boil as she bit back with equal fervour, “Yes, well perhaps you ought to! Since it seems I am the only one who is willing to throw it to you, and actually, unlike what you may think. I have little interest in hating you.”
“Do not lie.” Aemond stepped forward, his voice low.
“It is no lie. I do not hate you, we most certainly do not get along. But, I have little reason to hate you.” She shrugged, Visenya relaxed once more.
Though Prince Aemond could not tolerate it any longer, he would not take another drop of her insolence… her teasing, her lies! He snapped again, “You… you and your brothers torment me for your own amusement.”
“As does Aegon.” The Princess sneered, once again he had gotten himself into a state, she thought.
“I do not give a shit about Aegon! He is a fool and already a drunkard, and… and, well he is also my brother.” The prince wanted to push her, slap that smarmy sneer from her face. He stumbled upon his words, feeling more flustered, more overcome with the memories of all of his sister’s bastard’s torment. Their stupid, arrogant faces.
Visenya, ever cool, raised her brow, “So?”
“So, it is different.” He bit back.
Visenya stepped forward, folding her arms as she analysed him, by the Gods was he bothered. Still, she retorted back, “I dare say Aegon torments you for his own amusement far more than I. In fact, I do not torment you at all. They are mere jests!”
“Mocking me for not claiming a dragon is not a simple jest!” He had had it, the prince suddenly found himself unable to control it anymore, his hands came out before him, connecting with his niece’s chest as he pushed her back.
Visenya stumbled only slightly, she looked down and then swiped a stray hair from her face. Silence fell between them before a moment, a piercing silence. The soft breaths of Aemond to be heard as he tried to temper himself. A slight guilt filled him, but not for what he had done to the Princess, rather what may happen to him if his father found out. Or worst of all… if her father found out. The silence dragged, before shattered with the soft cackles of Visenya. Her face beaming.
“Gods…” She laughed, tilting her head back. Perhaps he was right, perhaps she did tease him for her own amusement. Tis his fault really, Aemond ought to learn how not to be so easily pestered, he ought to enjoy her attention on him. Only the Gods knows how many other boys try and fail to garner her interest. Yet it was him, who truly captured Visenya. A cruel smile rose to her face.
“Just get out!” Aemond snapped again, feeling a slight measure of weakness under her gaze. He reached forward, grabbing her wrist harshly as he forced her to the door,  
As he did so, Visenya cackled, enjoying this far too much, she laughed as she spoke, “Very well, I apologize for my lapses, and I will not speak on your lack of a dragon again, Uncle.” The door swung open and Visenya nearly gasped as she felt the firm grip of the Kings Guard outside his chambers grip her shoulder.
“Come, princess. The hour grows late, the both of you ought be in your bedchambers for the night.” The King’s Guard voice rang firm as he began to escort Visenya away, her eyes lingered upon Aemond once more, as she giggled.
The cheeky cackling of his niece could be heard through the prince’s heavy doors, Aemond wore a bitter expression. He was utterly infuriated, utterly exhausted… and utterly ashamed in his own inability to not give in to her teasing. He scanned his room, the firelight casting a soft orange glow, the air was warm, and it’s smell a comforting indication of embers. Aemond sat upon his bed once more, eyes sharp and pained, a part of him wished to crawl into the arms of his mother but he did not send for her. No, he would face this alone, he would not behave as the weak little bellyacher they all thought him to be. He would be strong, infallible; he would be a man.
Upon this thought, Prince Aemond rose up from his bed, approaching his desk once more as he longed to find comfort in the tales of great knights and ruthless warriors; to read of Symeon Star Eyes. Yet, as the young prince’s eyes met the mahogany surface, he felt his gut coil with rage once more.
His book had been swiped.
Tumblr media
○iii○
138 notes · View notes
angel-eyes05 · 7 months ago
Text
What's In A Name
Tumblr media
pairing: roronoa zoro x fem!reader
summary: as a master thief, you pride yourself on never getting caught. that is until you're caught by the straw hats as you try stealing from their ship. unable to turn you in to the authorities just yet, they'll have to make due with storing you on the going merry in the meantime. but, your time in confinement has allowed you to get particularly close to a certain swordsman. how close the two of you get is to be decided though.
warnings/info: nsfw mdni, oral sex (fem receiving), alcohol consumption, drunk/tipsy sex, face riding, my own sex headcanons for zoro are VERY clear here lmao ,takes place in between jaya and skypiea (please pretend theres more time at sea in between those arcs cause this will not work otherwise OK THANKS), this is for the pre-time skip zoro girlies (he's 19 pre-time skip dont come for me), no use of y/n, the first half of this is just cute shenanigans between reader and the straw hats. its a lot of character building stuff but i like it.
word count: 6.3k
notes: HI GUYS IM BACK IVE MADE MY RETURN I FOUND SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!!! and its the longest fic ive ever written too god damn what a comeback lmao. ok so i started watching one piece and im head over heels in love with this man...but i'm only up to water 7 rn so i only know how to properly write for pre-time skip zoro so thats how this is gonna go. i was looking for zoro/one piece fics to read but theyre literally all established relationship ones which aren't my cup of tea so im doing it myself lmao. also i didnt proofread i got too lazy sorry if some stuff doesnt make sense sorry sorry sorry but im a simple lazy tired girlie lmao enjoy!!
dividers by: @cafekitsune
Tumblr media
You didn’t know any of their names.
You had been aboard the Going Merry for about three weeks now, and you still hadn’t learned anyone’s names. Granted, your reason for being there wasn’t to make friends anyway. That wasn’t particularly easy to do, being tied up in some storage closet and all. 
Being one of the few residents who actually lived on Jaya had allowed you to pick up a skill or two when it came to stealing. Pirates with big bounties and even bigger treasures left their ships unattended at the docks, leaving you with some perfect quick heists from time to time. Some steals were easier than others. As much as you believed in your talents, most of the time your ability to get out unscathed was based purely on the luck of the draw. It wasn’t an easy life, many recent nights leaving you with more injuries than berries and gold pieces, but it was all you knew having lived here for so long. 
After having taken a break from heists for a bit, you finally laid your eyes on a ship worth stealing from. A pirate ship with a goat out in front and seemingly orange trees next to the helm. Most of the ships at the dock had been there for a while, leaving the pirates on board used to your tricks already. Being low on cash was another factor. So, after a bit of planning, you made your way onto the ship.
Earlier, you had found that one of the windows to a cabin had been left open, so you decided to make your entrance through there. You gathered your things and dove into the crystal blue water by the dock. Once you made it to the back of the ship, you took your rope, with your own handmade grappling hook at the end, and swung it to hook on the window sill. Luckily for you, it stuck the landing on the first try. You smirked to yourself and used the hook as leverage to climb up onto the ship. Unfortunately, this seemed to be the ship’s bathroom. Not super ideal. You’d have to venture more out into the ship. But with this came the risk of getting caught. Given your dire circumstances though, it was a risk you were willing to take.
With an attempt to make as little creak as possible, you slightly opened the door into the rest of the interior. Coast was clear so far. Suddenly, a shake rattled throughout the interior. You tumbled onto the floor, pushing open a door due to your unbalance. What the fuck was that, you thought to yourself. It quickly became no matter though, when you noticed the door had opened up to a room with a treasure chest tucked away in the back. Jackpot. You slyly made your way into the room and shut the door behind you. 
The room was neatly kept, with bookshelves, a couch, two sleeping hammocks, and a desk with navigation tools on it. There was even a bar. Though temptation pursued at you, you had to stay on task. While making your way over to the chest, you heard different creaks vibrating across the walls of the ship. You prayed to yourself that it was just the wood’s reaction to the waves. As you had predicted, the chest was locked, so you searched your bag for anything that could key the lock. 
Time became of the essence quickly as the thuds and creaks on the ship grew louder and louder. Finally, the lock to the chest made a perfect click, as the chest unlocked. You lifted the roof of the chest to find a sight for sore eyes: jewels and gold galore. This was it, you were set. You were so in awe with the vision before you, that you had failed to notice the woman standing behind you. The image you saw in one of the emeralds was a tall figure, with jet-black hair just below her shoulders, and dazzling blue eyes. “Looking for something?” the woman questioned, almost sarcastically. You seemed to have forgotten rule number one of thieving. Remember to lock the door behind you.
Quick on your feet, you whip around to throw a punch in her face, but her reflexes seem to be quicker than yours by the way she catches your fist. You then attempt to kick out her legs. The image you see next shakes you to your core. A hand, seeming to appear out of thin air, attaches itself to your calf. The hand then slowly raises your fear-frozen body into the air, dangling you upside down like a party toy. You attempt to throw more hits at her, all seeming to be in vain though. You kick and scream, like a child throwing a tantrum, in an attempt to get out. The woman looks out into the hallway and signals over another one of her companions. Fuck, this is turning sour fast. Before you can make out any other features of the man, besides his cartoonishly long nose, he uses his slingshot to pelt a rock towards your forehead. Your vision goes black as the rest of the pirates rush into the room.
The rough fibers of the rope tying your wrists together were the first thing you felt as you woke up. This was quickly followed by the underlying nausea from the waves rocking the boat, reminding you why you preferred to stay on land. You attempted to stand up, but your dizziness and the rope tying you to the floor weren’t letting you get very far. Suddenly, the door to whatever room you were in swung open, and the group of 7 pirates living on board entered the room. You slinked yourself along the back wall, attempting to disappear into your skin. You weren’t sure what felt worse: The fear of what they were going to do to you, or the embarrassment that you had been doing this for so long and still got caught.
Nope, definitely the embarrassment.
The man, no boy was a better word to describe him, standing in the middle of them attempted to speak to you before a woman with short orange hair cut him off. “If you think we’re gonna let you get off easily just because we’re also pirates, you’d be sorely mistaken!” she spoke, fiery anger lacing her words. The tall woman from earlier put her hand on her shoulder, calming her down, and walked out towards you. You tried to scoot away as much as you could as she crouched down to your level. 
“Listen, we want this to be over as much as you do. We would love nothing more than to get you off our ship and drop you off at the nearest island. But unfortunately for us, that would mean having to find a group of marines to hand you over to, who we aren’t the best of friends with right now. And we can’t drop you back off at Jaya since we’re too far by this point. So, for now, we’ll just have to keep you tied down here if that works out with you.” You began to speak before the woman cut you off. “You don’t have much of a choice in the matter by the way.”
She stood back up and began to exit the room, the other pirates following her except for two. The boy with the straw hat and another man, with striking green hair and three swords lying in a holster on his belt. The boy looked somberly at you as if he was against this whole idea. But the green-haired one just stared at you. As uncomfortable as it made you feel, you couldn’t help staring back into his piercingly soft eyes. “Come on, let’s go,” the green-haired man said to the boy, finally breaking eye contact and turning his back to leave. The boy followed him shortly after. As he closed the door, you had nothing left to focus on except for the itchiness of the rope, the empty stuffiness surrounding the storage room, and your worsening seasickness.
The following weeks had the same routine. Each of the pirates on board took individual shifts watching you during the day when they were just out at sea. The strange reindeer creature would watch you when they were out on islands. The first shift was taken by the tall black-haired woman. She would come in at the break of dawn to make sure you didn’t find some way to escape at night. You two would sit in silence for a little more than two hours, asking and answering some questions before switching spots with the blonde one. His company was strange, with him hitting on you at random points in your conversations, but he always brought you breakfast in the morning. As much as he made you uncomfortable sometimes, you couldn’t deny that his cooking was the best you’d had in years. He’d even let you take a hit off his cigarettes if you ever asked, so his visits had its perks. 
The next shift was taken by the orange-haired one. The first thing she would always do when walking into the room was ask you how creepy the blonde one was. The answer varied on the day. Once she warmed up to you, she would bring you tangerines from the trees out on the deck. As the days passed, she eventually explained that the treasure you attempted to steal belonged to her, which you begrudgingly apologized for. On some level, you felt bad. These seemed to be small-time pirates, just trying to get by like you were. The more you learned about each of them, the worse you felt about your actions towards them. 
Around lunchtime, the long-nosed one would bring you your meal, cooked again by the blonde man. This member would go into detail about his next invention he was working on in his workshop. You admired his passion and energy towards his craft. His rants and rambles were normally interrupted by the reindeer creature coming in for his shift, causing intense, yet entertaining, arguments to break out between the two of them. The reindeer was the sweetest of all the crew members, always checking in on your health and helping you with your seasickness. He would talk about his home and his experiences there. You developed a pity for the creature. His presence was calming, and you felt as if you could let your guard down around him. That would change as soon as the straw hat boy would come bouncing into the room, scaring both you and the animal. You would soon come to learn the energetic boy was the captain of the ship, which shocked you. But you soon came to understand why. His crew had a massive respect for him, even if he was the root of half their problems.
Being on the ship, you got extremely close to all the pirates. Even the tall woman from before seemed to respect you in some way. You enjoyed all of their company. There was something strange about them though. One morning early in your stay on the ship, you could’ve sworn you’d heard the tall woman say something to the rest of the crew. 
“Whatever you do, don’t tell her your name. Your name is your biggest secret.”
You didn’t know any of their names. You had thought you heard some of them speak it to each other in passing conversations, but not enough to remember who was who. You had bonded with them, but if someone put a gun to your head and told you to name your prison guard pirates, you’d be dead in seconds.
Except for one.
Zoro seemed to be his name. He would come in for the last shift. His presence didn’t frighten you, but it slightly intimidated you. His habit of carrying his swords everywhere he went wasn’t helping. He was silent his entire shift, normally dosing off halfway through after spending around an hour sharpening his swords You didn’t even attempt to make conversation with him. You found out his name when the captain would yell for him to get back to his sleeping quarters. “Zoro! Your shift’s done, you can sleep for real now!” he shouted across the hall the first time it happened. Zoro almost bounced up from his sleep and gave you one look before bolting out of the room to catch up to the captain. You could hear the echoes of their bickering from down the hall as you giggled to yourself. At least he didn’t seem to always be that stern.
It seemed crazy to you. His name was the only one you knew, yet you knew the least about him. He had hardly said 5 sentences to you in the three weeks you had been on the boat. His stoicism was one of the things that drew you into him though. Something about his demeanor, how intensely he would sharpen his swords, how his worries seemed to melt away the minute he escaped into a slumber, and how alive he seemed when he was with his crew. It was enticing. You wanted to know more. You attempted asking him questions about himself, but the most you would get were one to two-word answers. The most you got from him was when your seasickness finally got to you, causing you to puke up the dinner the blonde one made for you. “Woah, are you okay?” he asked concernedly, shooting up from his seat. When your only response was a cough and more puke, he ran out of the room to go get the reindeer. One thing he failed to do was close the door behind him. 
You speculated your options. You had no idea where you were. You could be out in the middle of the ocean. Or you could be right about to dock at land. If you managed to scrape yourself about the ever-loosening rope and sneak out, you’d be free. You’d never have to worry about these pirates again. 
At this point though, did you want to?
You took too long to decide, the reindeer rushing into the room with his medical kit, the blonde one short behind him. As the reindeer gave you a dose of medicine and cleaned up your mess and the blonde one held your hand and consoled you, your attention stayed by the doorframe. Zoro leaned against the wood, watching the work from afar. What shocked you most of all was his face. For a man who seemed so disinterested in you and your existence, his brows were furrowed, his cheeks had a light pink stain on them, and a slight frown invaded his face. He was concerned. Maybe even a little nervous. But why? He’d never shown any sort of emotion towards you before other than sleepiness. Once the reindeer and the blonde one left, he continued with his shift. You noticed something though. He sat closer to you than he normally did. 
You couldn’t tell, but you were blushing the rest of his shift.
Once he left, you sat in silence, thoughts racing through your mind, until you finally fell asleep.
You noticed a change in his behavior in the next few days. When you would ask him a question, he would respond now. And with more than just a “yes” or “no” too. He had more energy around you and wouldn’t spend his whole shift asleep. He would even let out a chuckle now and then. You didn’t know what you had done differently to get him like this, but you liked him like this. He was sweeter than he let on. 
Something had changed in you too though. On the occasions, you would catch yourself looking over his appearance. The more you observed, the more you realized how handsome he was. His clear, warm skin, his hypnotic eyes, his striking hair. You caught his appearance giving you butterflies when he would walk into your storage room. Your heart skipping a beat when he would give you even the smallest smile. You would stare even more when he would nap during his shift. Noticing certain things. The way his breath would hitch sometimes. How he always slept with his mouth open and would wake himself up sometimes with his dry mouth coughs. How his chest rose and fell with his soft breaths. How fighting with a sword in his mouth probably made his tongue stronger than other men you’ve met. You felt weird about it sometimes. Almost like some freakish stalker. But you would feel better about yourself whenever you would catch him staring at you out of the corner of your eye. 
As time went on, the crew began to give you some more freedom. The tall woman began leaving some of her archeology books in the storage room to keep you entertained. The orange-haired one would show you all her marked-up maps. The long-nosed one would even let you out of the rope to test his inventions from time to time. With the door locked of course. And then, the big display came. One day, during everyone’s shift, they told you their names. The blonde one was Sanji. The orange-haired one was Nami. The reindeer was Chopper. The long-nosed one was Usopp. Their captain was Luffy. And the tall woman, who initiated your imprisonment, was Robin. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to you. With each passing shift, you grew more excited for the next. To learn the next pirate’s name, and with that, their story. Until the last shift of the day came. And you realized.
You already knew his name.
“My name’s Zoro,” he said quietly. “I know,” you replied, bluntly. 
Something felt different about this shift. You didn’t feel the same excitement you normally felt when seeing him. Without your connection to him before, his being the only name you knew, something about him just didn’t excite you as much. Now he noticed your behavior change. “You okay?” he inquired. “Mhm,” you responded in monotony. The rest of his time there was spent in silence. 
You felt bad about what you were doing. This wasn’t his fault. Yet you were acting like this. It was almost as if the two of you swapped places. He was now the one trying to dig information out of you. And you gave him nothing more than blank faces and empty words. You wished you could figure out why you were acting like this, but you had no clue.
Today though, the crew was going to take an extra step towards including you. Throughout your time on the Going Merry, you had only left your little storage room prison a few times. To go to the bathroom and visit the kitchen on special occasions. But you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. After proving to the crew you had changed, they planned a little surprise for you.
Robin woke you up earlier than usual. “Is everything ok?” you asked, still half asleep. Robin just smiled at you. “Come on, get up.” You looked at her confused, as she walked over to your restraints, untying you from the hook keeping the rope down. She took you by your restraints and walked you out to the room. The mix of drowsiness and confusion left you slightly panicked as you realized she was walking you out to the deck. She opened the door to a still-dark morning. 
The rest of the Straw Hats were sitting out on the deck, just conversing and eating an extra early breakfast, courtesy of Sanji. They all turned to you once you and Robin walked out. “What’s going on,” you asked, still very confused. “On Thursdays, we all like to get up early and sit out and watch the sunrise. And we were talking about it, and we felt like you should join us this time,” Nami smiled. She stood up and pranced over to you, mouth slightly agape and speechless, and took you over to sit in between her and Zoro. You turned to Zoro, overwhelmed with emotions. 
It had been so long since you felt a part of a community of people. You never exactly fit in with the ruthless bands of pirates coming and going on Jaya. Finally feeling connected to people, especially after you wronged them so horribly, brought you happiness you hadn’t felt in ages. 
A singular “I-” was all you could manage to get out, a tear trickling down your cheek. “Just enjoy it. They’ll be at each other’s throats again in a minute,” he joked, getting a soft laugh out of you. He smiled gently, brushing the tear off your cheek. His finger lingered there longer than expected. You blushed. The butterflies were back and you caught yourself staring again.
“What’s that supposed to mean!” Nami interrupted. “Well, it’s true!” Zoro retorted, leaning over you to yell at Nami. The two began arguing as you noticed the sun starting to peak out over the horizon. “Shut up you two, you’re gonna make her miss it!” Usopp and Luffy yelled. They stopped bickering once they also noticed the sky begin to turn orange. 
The pinks and oranges mixed together in a beautiful watercolor painting as the sun reflected its image on the ocean. The soft waves bobbed the ship up and down in a calming hypnotic motion, almost putting you back to sleep. The beauty of it all was so serene. Against popular opinion, you always preferred sunrises to sunsets. The representation of a new day beginning. It gave you hope in your most dire situations. 
You lifted your head back to see the colors slowly spreading to the rest of the sky. Everyone to your right was in the same headspace you were like they were in some sort of trance. They were all cuddling against each other, Robin holding Chopper in her lap, Luffy and Usopp mimicking each other’s smiles, and Nami resting her head on Sanji’s shoulder. They all seemed so close to each other. Like a little family. Connected. You turned to Zoro to see if he was doing the same as the others, but all you found was his eyes softly gazing into yours, and his hand slowly inching towards yours. The minute he snapped out of it, he sharply turned his head and hand away and cleared his throat. You couldn't help but laugh at his schoolboy behavior. With your ego controlling your actions, you took his hand and slowly intertwined his fingers with yours. You could see a smile float onto his face out of the corner of your eye. You did the same.
The rest of the day was spent out on the deck. The feeling of the sun on your skin for the first time in weeks was euphoric. All you wanted to do was soak it all in. The Straw Hats must have been in a good mood today, because, with some extra convincing, you got them to finally take off your shackles. You spent most of the day sunbathing out on the deck with Nami. She had let you borrow one of your bikinis. You two were slightly different sizes though, so the suit was a little tight on you. You didn’t mind very much. You were just happy to be out of the same clothes you had worn for 3 weeks. Sanji didn’t mind either, ogling both you and Nami and basically worshipping the two of you. “It’s ok, he’ll get over it in a few hours,” Nami consoled. You circled the deck a few times to see if Zoro was anywhere in sight, but you couldn’t seem to find him. He probably went inside to nap away from the heat. Part of you wanted him to get the rest he deserved. The other really wanted him to see you in your outfit. 
The day really took a turn when Usopp brought out the liquor from the kitchen. “I was saving that asshole!” Sanji yelled. “Oh come on, this is a special occasion!” Usopp pleaded. With some more convincing, Sanji finally gave in. You and the crew got increasingly drunk throughout the evening, Zoro eventually coming out from wherever he was napping to join the party. You all had even decided to jump into the ocean and swim around for a little bit. All except for Chopper, very sober and very nervous for any incoming sea monsters. He had managed to get you all back onto the ship with some very convincing pleading.
You and Zoro caught each other catching glimpses of one another throughout the rest of the day. Zoro admiring your figure in the swimsuit, and you ogling at the way his damp shirt hugged at his muscles. One by one, as day grew into night, crew members began to pass out on the deck, deciding to sleep outside for the night. You and the other members who wanted to go back into the cabin, Zoro and Robin, made your way back down into the ship. “Make sure you tie her back up. No hard feelings but we can’t be too careful.” Even slightly tipsy, she was still her stern old self. “Yeah whatever whatever, goodnight to you too,” Zoro drunkenly pushed off. You giggled and blushed as he took your hand and led you down the stairs into the cabin. Robin sighed to herself as she watched the two of you scamper off.
You felt your heartbeat get increasingly faster as he led you to your room. For some reason, the air in the hallway got thicker as you got closer. You blamed it on your tipsiness. But your heart slowly sank as you got to the door, realizing you had to say goodbye to Zoro for the day. He opened the door and stumbled into your room, leading you in behind him. He closed the door behind him, hesitating for a moment before going to wrap the rope back around your wrists. 
He seems distressed for some reason, breathing heavily and avoiding eye contact. You look down at your hands, as he so gently maneuvers the rope around them. The butterflies begin to well up in your stomach again, the alcohol fueling their ferocity. His hands. So calloused yet so gentle. You can smell the remnants of sake exuding from Zoro’s heavy breaths. You looked back up at him. Were you two always standing this close together? You the butterflies keep rising and rising. You don’t know what to do with yourself. You’re not sure if you should run, kiss him, punch him, but you have to do something before you implode. Until. He stops.
The rope undoes itself in his hands as he freezes. His hands are shaking, his breath is heavy, and his eyes avoid yours like the plague. You were just getting antsy but Zoro seemed in distress. “Hey?” you ask, lowering your hands and dropping the rope to the floor. “Zoro?” You take your hand under his chin and lift his eyes to yours. You might throw up at any second. His eyes are so softly intense. 
He brushed his thumb against your cheek, sending chills down your spine. You both want the same thing. Both of you are just too scared to take the chance. “It’s ok. You’re okay,” you reassure him, placing your hand over his heart. His heart, which happens to be underneath his bare chest, him having taken off his wet shirt earlier. His breathing slows, and his eyes move down ever so smoothly from your eyes to your plump lips. You catch yourself doing the same to him, and you inching closer to him. “You’re fine.” Closer. “We’re gonna be…fine.” Your lips barely brush each other. The gentleness of the kiss is calming though, as you notice Zoro’s breath slowing. 
You brush again. And again. And again. Lips touching a little more with each meet. Until they fully interlock. The two of you melt into each other as Zoro wanders your back into a wall for support. Your kisses are structured, made to get the most out of each meeting. You’re both ravenous for each other, but you know if you go at each other like mad dogs, you won’t get what you want. So you both take your time getting to know the feeling of the other person’s mouth. You slip a moan out as Zoro’s tongue seeps between your lips. His kisses get slightly more sloppy as he runs his hands down your body. He feels the underneath of your breasts, the curves of your waist and hips, and finds a nice resting place under your ass. Your hands roam his cheeks and jaw, making their way to tug slightly on his moss-colored hair. 
“Needed this,” Zoro whispers in between kisses. “Needed you so badly. But I didn’t know how.” He separates his lips from yours and plants kisses and hickeys along your jaw and neck. “I was always just too nervous for some reason. You make me so nervous.” His hands find their way into your bikini bottom and fondle your asscheeks, getting a low moan out of you. The alcohol must’ve given him a confidence boost. “Good to see you found your footing now,” you whisper in his ear. He chuckles, the butterflies speeding up in your stomach. 
The two of you stay here for a little bit. Hell, you could stay like this for hours. Just soaking each other in. Feeling his warmth brought a fire into your soul. You could tell Zoro was getting a little antsy though, one of his hands moving from your back to your front, beginning to slowly circle your clit. The other hand went to your bikini, untying the back and letting it fall to the floor as his mouth moved to your breast. Waves of pleasure crashed through your body as you let him do his work. “God, you sure this is your first time?” you moaned out. He removed his mouth from your nipple to talk. “Never said it was, sweetheart. You just assumed it.” “Well from the loner vibe you got going on mixed with being on this ship 24/7, you can’t blame me for thinking that.” “Well the loner vibe worked on you, so who’s to say it hasn’t worked on others?” he smirked. You laughed to yourself as he got down on his knees.
Zoro slipped off your bikini bottom, completing the set on the floor. He kissed your v-line with the same softness he treated your lips to. He sat back on his knees for a moment to catch his breath, looking up at you, as if to ask for permission. You held your hand out to his cheek and rubbed it with your thumb. His eyes closed as he placed his hand over yours, as if you would ever take it away from him. God now this was a sight you could get used to. He was so infatuated with you it made your heart ache. He was right here at your disposal, yet you wanted more of him. So you bent down and gave him a sloppy forehead kiss. Once you were back up, he decided to go in. 
Like most things he does, he started slow and controlled. He kissed and sucked on your inner thighs. Once his hand finally left your clit, you knew he was ready. He kissed your cunt, using his tongue to lick up your wetness. You could pass out right now if you had less self-control. Whimpers and moans left your lips, your hips naturally starting to grind against his nose, relieving the ache in your clit. You let him know what felt good by the tugs and yanks you put in his hair. He was a natural. Your guess about his tongue earlier was right too. “You taste so good, just as I imagined,” Zoro breathed onto your lips. You could tell he was starting to lose his composure with the way he continued to bury his face into your pussy. Your cunt naturally tightened around his tongue as he tasted you. Your hips began to buck into his face as your grinding pace increased, the butterflies turning into a white heat you felt getting stronger and stronger. Your bud was becoming more swollen by the second. Your grip on his hair tightened to make up for your failing knees. 
You wouldn’t be able to take much more. Zoro wouldn’t either, his hand making its way into his pants to relieve his own bulge. His pace got faster to match your grinds. The smack of your lips against his tongue, mixed with both of your moans, was pornographically loud. Suddenly, the situation of Robin or another crew member hearing became an apparent one to you. That worry quickly left your mind once one of Zoro’s hands made its way to fondle your nipple. If he asked you to follow him anywhere right now, you might just do it if it meant this every other night. You felt he knew your body better than you did. “So pretty. So good for me. You make this so easy,” Zoro groaned between licks. “Zoro god fuck me please!” Your final whimper sent you over the edge as you wailed and came all over his perfect face. He licked up your juices as he finished his own job as well. Your knees finally gave out as you fell on top of him, into his arms.
He brought you down gently, straddling you on his lap as you wrapped your arms around him. He traced his cum soaked hand across your back and kissed your nape. You were more exhausted than expected, almost passing out in the crook of his neck. Even now, he was so gentle with you. “You did so good, darling,” he praised, kissing your earlobe. “Want…more…want you…inside me,” you managed to get out. He just laughed and pushed you up to look at you. “If you took me right now, I don’t think you’d wake up tomorrow morning. Look at you, you can barely keep your eyes open, sweetheart,” he teased. You pouted. “Oh, you feel that proud of yourself?” your drunkenness fueling your frustration. “No no no, sweetheart,” he chuckled. Once your frown didn’t change, he stopped laughing and pressed a kiss deep into your forehead. “I’m sorry. What I meant was, if I fucked you with everything I have left right now, which is the only way I would want to do it, this floor would leave us with sore backs for weeks.” You stayed frowning. “I want to fuck you right, the way you deserve. And I can’t do it for you right now.” You pouted more at him. He smiled up at you and leaned in closer to your ear. “If you trust me, I promise I’ll make it worth your while. You’ll be walking funny for weeks.” God, you almost came again just now. You didn’t notice how much your jaw dropped until Zoro laughed at you. You couldn’t help but laugh back in tune with his infectious laughter. 
He kissed you with a fever behind his lips, then scanned the room around the two of you. “What’s wrong?” you drowsily asked. The exhaustion from you coming, the sleepiness brought by the alcohol, and how late it was getting was starting to overpower you. Zoro didn’t respond. He just grabbed your swimsuit and helped you put it back on, tightened your legs around his hips, and hoisted you up as he stood. You decided to ask questions once you had a clearer idea of what was happening. He opened the door and walked with you down the hallway, passing the girl’s quarters and into the men’s room. He checked inside quickly before bringing you in and signaling you to bring your legs down. You confusedly followed him to his bed as he groaned, rubbed his back, and sat down on the edge of the bunk. “Wanna explain to me what you’re doing?” you asked, slightly more awake. “If you think I’m just gonna leave you to sleep alone, tied up, on that dirty floor after what we just did, then you must think I’m a really shitty guy,” Zoro quipped before getting under the covers and trying to pull you down. You put some resistance towards him though. 
“B-but Zoro, I’m not supposed to be in here.”
“I know.”
“If someone catches me in here we’re both fucked.”
“They won’t catch you.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’ll wake up before Robin starts her shift.”
“Are you sure, I mean I just don’t kn-.”
“Hey.”
You stop your nervous rabbling and look at him as he sits back up. “Do you want to go back and sleep on the cold, dirty, hard floor?” You really didn’t. “No.” “Then stay here with me.” “But what if-.” “Do you trust me?”
You sure hope you did after all of that. His kind eyes reassured you in the darkness surrounding the two of you. You took a deep breath and nodded. “Do you trust me?” he asked again. “I trust you, Zoro,” you confirmed. He smiled kindly at you. “You’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.” He steadied you by placing his hands on your hips, running his hands along your waist, and pressing his lips into your tummy. You loved the way he looked at you. Like you were his whole world. It was comforting.
He took your hand and helped you into bed. You bundled yourself under the covers and wrapped yourself around his frame. He kissed your temples one more time before slipping into sleep, his light snores hypnotizing you into a slumber of your own.
The last thing you remember before dozing off was the feeling of his hands on your waist.
Everything you wanted was right here. In front of you. Straight out of a dream. Your only fear was that it would be gone once you woke up.
Tumblr media
a/n: THIS TOOK FOREVER GOOD LORD. anyways thanks for being here for my comeback era lol. my upload schedule is NOT going to be consistent this is just a little splurge i wanted to write lol. thank you for reading i really appreciate it (i also really appreciate engagement lol please like repost comment etc im greedy). i love one piece and i love zoro. once i meet law expect all hell to break loose im gonna write so much fanfiction about him its concerning hes so fine im so excited. anyways lol thanks love you bye.
145 notes · View notes
anemoiashifts · 3 months ago
Text
idk why i never made this clear but the goal of my content isn’t to make you shift, it’s to try & help you understand where your desires come from & how to better yourself. if that’s means shifting to better yourself or if you later down the line you decide shifting isn’t for you i still want you to get some thing out of this.
a common thought pattern is “when i shift everything will be okay” & we can’t know that for certain. ive been called privileged for saying this & im not denying i certainly am to be sitting here & telling you this but true lasting happiness comes from within. when you desire nothing, you attract everything you have ever wanted & more which something i have a hard time believing myself.
i try to make my content not only apply to shifting but life in general; mental health, shadow work, getting off social media, trying to understand other perspectives. above all, that you have the ultimate control in your life. it’s never to late to start over or go after what you want.
truly, im so grateful to have a platform. im someone irl who has always been the black sheep & i know a lot of you can / have related to that. i know that’s why a lot of you are shifting & i wish you nothing but success.
68 notes · View notes
dansevilpianotea · 7 months ago
Note
who do you think is more Crowley coded and who is more Azira coded out of dnp?
i set myself hourly notifications ever since you send the ask and it still took me this long to answer, im so sorry 😭
Tumblr media
to answer your question:
It might seem like obvious that dan is crowley coded and phil is azira coded because of their aesthetics and personality but stating that as that is too simple for me. lets break it down:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
dan is like crowley in the obvious sense of having that edgy aesthetic and always needing to question things while phil is the one with the light aesthetic who enjoys what is happening despite the problems it has. just watch them play the game of life.
this reminds me of this quote from a book ive read for uni which really stuck with me:
Tumblr media
so yea, dan is the social scientist who points out what most people miss and phil is the one who tells us that we shouldn't wallow in defeat of it but make our own meaning out of it. and we need both! they are like ying and yang, like crowley and aziraphale in that way.
crowley who questions heaven and thusly falls, but then doesnt stop questioning hell because he doesnt see the world in black and white, good actions and bad actions.
Tumblr media
i think dan for a long time was not like that. i say this with the utmost respect but if you look back, his branding was usually self deprecating jokes and at least to me personally it felt like his perspective was pessimistic. he always made sure to leave a positive message but to me it felt like a wish for a better future, not a feeling of certainty that it will be better.
Phil on the other hand is very much like that:
Tumblr media
Phil is like aziraphale and me in the sense that he gets irrationally worried about things,
Tumblr media
but it is dan who literally did a tour about his worries of the world ending, with branding and all:
Tumblr media
and yet:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
phil and crowley both have that rational optimism, the sense that things will be okay. but aziraphale does not give up in-spite of the odds being against them. in s1 he refuses to run away to alpha centauri because he believes that they should stay and fight. that there is still hope. he does not accept that the world will end. but its crowley who sparks the idea of aziraphale raising the antichrist with him. its aziraphale who tells angel crowley of armageddon , and its why crowley gets upset and questions the almighty.
so my point is that phil has aziraphale's light aesthetic vibes and his fear of near doom but crowley's certainty that everything will be okay in the end despite it.
dan on the other hand has crowley's edgy dark aesthetic, his cynicism and sense of questioning belief systems, but also aziraphale's determinism to fight what he is sure is a losing battle/the end of the world because he wants to believe that it is possible that everything will be okay (that being the message of wad/ywgttn/big/etc...)
i want to talk a bit about 'dark/light polarity'. what we mean by that is two sides of the same coin. yin and yang:
☯️
they depend on each other, they interconnect and intertwine. be it real people or fictional characters, it is never a clear black and white binary, because what the characters have something that the other lacks and when they come together they become a whole. plato said humans once had 4 legs and feet, and then got split in half by zeus to punish us to live our lives yearning to be connected with the other half of our soul/coin, our soulmate. they carry sth of each other within them because there are shards that got broken in the middle when the being was split and were forced to choose sides.
so even tho it might seem like dan is more like crowley coded and phil is more aziraphale coded because of their light/dark aesthetic, there's many things of both in each of them and thats what makes it interesting and real to us.
120 notes · View notes
lynn-tged-posting · 21 days ago
Text
tged webtoon ep 164 spoilers and thoughts that are totally not late what are you talking about this is on time for sure <- writing the day that 165 drops
.
.
.
JAVIER WAS THE ACTUAL MVP OF THIS WHOLE EPISODE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA HAHAHAHAH GOD I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH
THAT SIGNATURE SLIGHT SMIRK, THE MENACE IN HIS EYES. YES!!! SAVE UR MAN FROM GRIEF!!! GO KNIGHT BOY GO!!!!!!!
Tumblr media
oh how he's grown, oh how he's learned from lloyd,,, truly using all the skills hes seen and putting them to the test. ITS SO FUNNY HOW EFFECTIVE THIS IS HAHAHAHAA THE EXPRESSIONS ARE SO SO GOOD THEYRE SO UNHINGED I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
back to the top!
lloyd trying to bargain and figure out loopholes only to realize there really is no other way besides losing it all over again makes my heart ACHE. OOOWWW. OWWWWWWWW.
just. watching that shutdown happen is so so so cruel why would u do this to me. the way the artist shows the energy and life just leaving his eyes and then subsequently showing how. tired he is. makes me so so emotional
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
it fucking HURTS. and by god ive been there before - certainly not to this extent ofc, but ive also been in tough spots where all the work ive done for my engineering projects ends up being,,, pointless. it is VERY real, how demoralizing that feels and lloyds reaction to that, and i cant imagine the scale of how that despair increases when its related to the work you did to simply just live in peace. god. ow. ow ow ow ueueueuuee
like he just essentially got told that it didnt matter how hard he fought to live, to survive, it doesn't matter that he's "lloyd" now; kim suho is destined for an ill-fate. and considering we know him as someone who lives almost entirely for others? it's basically "hey, all this stuff u did for other people to make urself not a burden, became a burden. tough luck!" GOD THATS SO. GHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHH
Tumblr media Tumblr media
and he's trying so hard to think of himself as lloyd frontera still but like. whats the point? his association with lloyd frontera became the thing that doomed him
this panel in particular is INSANEE AAGHGHGHHGGG the colors washed out, how limp he looks, the blankness of the background like nothings there. this is where lloyd is right now, hope ripped from him, this reflects that really well. it HURTS.
Tumblr media
is dissociated the right word for this? in despair? either way he's emotionally and mentally going THROUGH it, and essentially back to isolation considering how he ignores javier
i also wonder now if lloyd has already made a choice, to let javier live? we dont get to see more of his thoughts beyond this point, so its hard to say whether or not he's already made the decision of which protagonist lives,,, god im so worried for him. a part of me suspects that maybe he already chose javier to live,,, IM SO SCARED,,,,
speaking of javier,,, we see him talking to arcos and marbella!! and AGGGHHH AAAHHH MY HEART i really really think that javier was being completely genuine here. i think he really believes this. javier in general has a tendency to be incredibly genuine in the things he says (examples i cant think of off the top of my head but this episode has a lot of em LOL). he's asserted multiple times that he believes lloyd can save their estate, and its clear he means it every time. the faith javier has in lloyd is so so strong and it makes me so fucking EMOTIONALLL im getting ahead of myself a little bit sorry
Tumblr media
but then the stare that arcos gives to javier,,, i think silent was the one who mentioned it but its as if arcos isnt sure if he should believe him, and if u take into account the last time they asked about lloyd's status,,, it's very much possible that he doesnt believe javier, but javier has so much faith in lloyd that he leaves them alone anyway. god,,, gghh,,, mmy heart,,,,
Tumblr media
AND JAVIER ASKING LLOYD TO WAIT FOR HIM AND THAT HE'LL HELP LLOYD GET BACK TO HIS FEET GOD GHGHGH HE LOVES HIM SO FUCKING MUCH GOD FUCK GOD DAMMIT YOU!!! YOU!!!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
lloyd doesnt even respond but javier doesnt need to wait for a response bc he'll do whatever it takes now to protect this noble he's come to care for and love and gone on so many adventures with GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT FUCK
and now we reach the second half of the episode and it made me giggle SO FUCKING HARD HAHAHAHAHAHAA
Tumblr media
LIKE I SAW THIS PANEL AND MY JAW DROPPED PLEASE JAVIER ALDKJFLSKJDF
ppl were posting that apparently someone in ORV does this too and like thats so fucking funny . if i had a nickel for every time there was identity fraud in a manhwa id have two nickels
POOR RAPHAEL GETTING CAUGHT IN THE FIRE TOO HAHAHAHA HE LOOKS SO NERVOUS
Tumblr media Tumblr media
some more panels of javier harnessing all that unhinged lloyd energy IT'S SO SO GOOD. it feels like javier's now a really really strong prosecutor i think he'd do a good job as a lawyer. THIS IS SO SO FUN
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
LIKE HE LOOKS SO MENACING GOD ITS SO FUNNY AHHAHAHAHA while making entirely good points he's so golden i love u sm javier. yes save ur man. outargue the FUCK out of these angels u clever little knight.
THE BITS WHERE ITS REVEALED HE'S TRULY GENUINE TOO ARE SOOOO FUCKING GOOD
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ITS FUNNY ON TOP OF BEING SO REAL OF JAVIER
i talked about it above but like. when javier really truly believes something, when he really truly wants something, it's so fucking obvious. this boy does not lie or pretend about how he feels, point blank period. hell we've seen his behavior when he lies/is not telling the truth; his words are stiff and out of character, and his expression is either menacingly tight or stiffly robotic. he has so, so SO much faith and such a deep desire to save lloyd, and it shows in how he's genuinely fucking thankful that the angels agreed to (or well, were coaxed into agreeing) with what he asked for. i think it's a really interesting character trait and it completely tracks that javier was the protagonist of knight of blood and iron. genuine, emotional characters who love and lose, who have hope and can believe and can also experience despair, can make for an extremely compelling story. javier nails it right on the head
i also think that this character trait completely influenced the way javier used the tactics that lloyd uses. like yes, this is something that lloyd could do, but he also would never be able to pull it off because he doesnt have that same protagonist heart and honest-to-god (pun intended) genuineness that javier has. this inherent authenticity that javier seems to just naturally possess is what allowed him to make these statements and demands, because the sincerity he wears on his sleeve makes it all end up feeling reasonable. only javier could have done something like this, and no one else. i think thats REALLY fun!!!
that is all for this ep for now,,, i am SUPER excited to see where this'll go. hopefully we will hear from alicia abt the eye of summer!!! god javier u clever lil thing im so glad he was able to do this SAVE UR BOYF!!! AAAAHHHH
see y'all next week! aka tmrw! today? whenever 165 drops!
31 notes · View notes
crienneoftarth · 1 year ago
Text
Wildest Dreams
Larissa Weems x inexperienced fem!reader
hi everyone! this is the first chapter (maybe?) of the snippet i posted a little while back. I had a few people ask if i would write/post more so i finished a little bit. this is my first fic that ive ever posted so im super nervous to post but i hope someone enjoys it :)
ao3 is here in case you’d prefer that. there’s no cw for now but will add if i decide to write more chapters as needed <3
Tumblr media
You find a clear spot in the loud bar and begin leaning on the wall. Taking a sip from your glass, your eyes glance over to a tall, blonde figure, seemingly floating through the chaotic crowd. You start to panic as the curvy, tall woman confidently walks in your direction. She stops a few feet away from you, staring intensely. People cross in between the two of you but her gaze doesn’t leave yours. You feel your face get hot and quickly look down at your drink. Your eyes dart back up and she’s suddenly gone. Trying not to look obvious, you glance around as casually as possible.
She was literally taller than all the guys here, where the hell could she have gone? You sigh and bring the glass back to your lips. After a few more sips and scans of the room, you give up and decide to leave.
Slowly, you start making your way through the sweaty crowd towards the exit.
“Leaving so soon?” You hear a sultry voice ask behind you.
Quickly turning around, you see her again, smiling and holding out a drink towards you. You stumble over your words as she walks closer towards you.
“Here, darling. I guessed what your drink was, I hope that’s alright. But if you’re leaving, I suppose I’ll just have to keep it to myself.” She says with a red-lipped smirk.
You stutter, “N-no, I was just… Getting some air, that’s all. Thank you.”
She gives you the glass and your hands shake as you take it from her. You take a sip, trying to avoid eye contact.
Why am I so fucking nervous? What the fuck is wrong with me?
The tall woman smirked and leaned over closer to your ear, “I’ll be honest, I’m very happy you’re not leaving. I was hoping that you would leave with me.”
You swallow deeply, suddenly your mouth was completely dry despite the alcohol you just drank. You shiver as her long fingers move a bit of hair off of your shoulder. You look in her eyes for the first time and are amazed at the endless blue color. “I’m sorry, I-I’m not usually this nervous. I’ve just… never been flirted with so outright. Especially not by…” your eyes widen while you scan her tall, curvaceous build up and down. “Someone as beautiful as you…”
The woman smiles brightly at you, “I don’t believe that for a moment. my name is Larissa, may I ask what yours is, darling?”
Her accent and cadence made a shiver go down your spine. You almost completely forget what your name even is. “Uh… It’s Y/n.” You smile and look down at your drink again, swirling the liquid in the bottom of the glass.
“How beautiful, very fitting for a beautiful woman.” She beams at you again, leaning back close to your ear. “Would you be interested in joining me somewhere a bit more quiet? I’m friends with the owner, she lent me a key to the rooftop.”
Your head nods instinctually. Larissa grins and puts her arm out for you to hold onto as she guides you up a small set of stairs to a locked door. Pulling out a set of keys from her purse, she finds the correct one and opens the door and holds it open for you to step outside.
Shutting the door behind her and taking a deep breath of the cool air, “Isn’t it lovely up here? Sometimes it’s just nice to step away from the chaos for a moment.”
“Yeah, it’s really nice. I didn’t even know there was rooftop access here.” You respond as you look around at a small set of couches and a coffee table, with Christmas lights strung around the sitting area.
Larissa gently takes your hand and guides you to a couch. You both sit down for a moment before you let out a quiet sigh.
She notices your slight change of mood and rests her hand on your cheek, “Is everything okay, sweetling?”
Her hand was so soft and calming against your cheek. She slowly moves it into your hair, tucking a small strand behind your ear. You meet her stare and suddenly you feel as though you can’t breathe. “I’m sorry, I’m fine. Just… nervous, is all.”
“I understand perfectly. I promise you, nothing bad will happen to you while I’m around. I’ll take good care of you, my darling.”
Your body is seemingly paralyzed as she slowly leans in to kiss you. It’s the most wonderful feeling you’ve ever experienced; her soft lips against yours, her fingers running through your hair. You never want it to end.
You begin to feel an unfamiliar tightness and warmth under your stomach, but you can’t find the will to stop kissing the woman. You impulsively place your hand on her exposed thigh. She lets out a small moan as your skin touches hers.
I need to fucking hear that again.
After another minute of kissing and rubbing the skin on her leg with your thumb, you slowly slide your fingers underneath the hem of her tight skirt. Again, she moans in response to your touch. She pulls away from your lips and smiles, “I appreciate your boldness, darling, but we can’t do this here.”
Please, I’ll go wherever you tell me to.
“I understand, I may have gotten a little carried away, I apologize…” You respond, trying to steady your heavy breathing.
She chuckles quietly and tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear, “No need to apologize, just… Can I take you home with me?”
Yes! God, yes please.
You smile nervously in an attempt to not show how badly you want her to take you right there. “S-sure… Of course you can.”
Her eyes light up and she grabs your hand, pulling it up to her mouth and kissing it softly. Your arm is covered in goosebumps as a red lipstick stain is left on the top of your hand. She smiles up at you, “Let me call a car for us.”
You nod as she pulls her cell phone from her bag and you watch as her tall figure walks away for a moment.
What the fuck am I doing?
326 notes · View notes
chaisshitposts · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Write A Letter To Yourself To Find The Answers You Want. || 'Dear Subconscious...'
Tumblr media
have ya ever had a problem at hand that ya just couldn't figure out a solution to? it's such a deeply perplexing problem that ya just decide to shrug it off and maybe 'sleep it off.' and so, ya do just that... and maybe in the middle of the night, or as soon as ya wake up, or maybe even two days later in the middle of a totally unrelated task, ya get a random idea, a random thought, or perhaps a random solution that was the answer. that was yer subconscious, answerin' that problem ya were so stumped on.
which got me thinkin'... why haven't i considered askin' my subconscious a direct question? ive seen this happen in movies before, usually with— people who have DID or MPD, or perhaps someone who sleep walks, or suffers black outs. I've seen people leave notes and messages to themselves.
why haven't I just written a letter addressed to my subconscious and let it solve everything for me? why haven't I asked my subconscious to show me the answer or give me the answers I need to tap into being in the state of pure consciousness? the letter is personal to me, and my subconscious knows me best, so why the fuck wouldn't I trust what it has to say? i already do muscle testin' to get my yes/no answers, I already do fuckin' tarot readin's on myself— so... why not do this? can't believe I haven't done this yet.
and with that thought, I got my handy notebook, sat down at my dining room table, and got to writin', starting the letter off by saying 'dear subconscious...' I spilled my most vulnerable guts afterwards and the rest was history.
I'm gonna tell ya right now, full transparency, I wrote to my subconscious about how much I want to enter the void state/I Am State and asked it for clear signs in my letter, I told it to give me the answers I want in a way that only I could understand. an experiment worth while... originally, i wasn't gonna post this but then i got my answers and i wanted to share this with ya lovely folks of this lil' dandy community.
I bet you're wonderin' what was the answer I got from my subconscious. I got multiple answers, as terrifying as that is, and I cannot even fathom how I can explain them properly. All I know is that I feel unwavering peace in all aspects of my life. but if yer really curious, I got a message in a tarot readin' video and through the spinoff of adventure time that just came out, not too long ago on max. Fiona and Cake. the shit they say in the show is... I can't even explain how it made me feel, just finished watchin' the entire series today. it was everything I needed to know, I asked my subconscious for an answer that only I would understand and what would ya know... i love musicals and animated shows/movies, and behold, i gotta damn combo. i definitely recommend it to my fellow manifesters!!! they literally talk about how easy it is to create yer own REALITIES in the damn show... that's what we fuckin' do!!!!
how do I write a letter to myself?
address yourself a letter as 'dear subconscious' and then get to writin'. you're literally sendin' yerself a letter, say whatever ya want in it, write yer secrets, write yer fears, write yer dreams. ask yer subconscious whatcha need to do to get yer dream life guaranteed and ya shall receive. some people may not like the idea of this but, what's the harm in a lil' conversation with yerself and findin' out the answers ya need. It can especially help ya if you've been strugglin' for a while, 'specially with all ya folks out there who've been on yer void journey for multiple years. what better way to get yer answers than to speak to yerself through yer own mind... wah, that sounds fuckin' coconuts but I stand by it.
essentially, this is just a combo of commandin' yer subconscious and scriptin', that's not hard at all. and who said ya gotta handwrite it? ya can type it out on yer phone or even yer computer if ya want, do whatever feels good and allows ya to write out yer guts and frustration. after that, ya can relax and see what happens next. that's all in this post! thanks for readin' and I hope ya get the answers ya seek! until next time!~
p.s. this ain't a challenge, it's just another way to get to know what you need to do to accomplish your dreams as the individual creator of yer reality. you'll know when yer answers come. hell, might even come to ya in the middle of the night or even in a random movie in the form of a quote that is far too relatable to yer situation ya decided to sit down and watch one day. kinda like what happened with me... hehe.
226 notes · View notes
louellaby · 1 year ago
Text
FORGET-ME-NOT
REPLACED!MC AU
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
W A R N I N G
May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
taglist: @books-and-catears @owl778 @yourlocalgrass @kaiserkisser @hhurric4ne
Tumblr media
PROLOGUE | CHAPTER I | CHAPTER II | CHAPTER III | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER IV | CHAPTER V | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VII | CHAPTER VIII | CHAPTER IX | CHAPTER X | LOUE'S LETTER | EPILOGUE
Tumblr media
C H A P T E R V I I
「 To My Dear Family 」
Tumblr media
"MC, we're leaving now. Take good care of the house with Soley until we get back. Make sure nothing bad happens or there will be consequences. Am I clear?"
The demon brothers were summoned to the castle by Diavolo. It seemed something so important, having the need to summon them so early in the morning. Lucifer said to make sure nothing bad happened while he was going on and on about minding the mansion, but you knew he wasn't talking about the building. He wanted you to make sure nothing bad happens to Soley. Otherwise, it's him you'll answer to.
"Yes, Lucifer. I heard you loud and clear. I hope you have a safe trip."
As soon as the seven of them departed without saying much to you, you headed towards your bedroom in hopes of studying the material Solomon gave you as homework. When you passed by Soley's room, you noticed how quiet it was. As if you were infected with the brothers' care for her, worry filled you, and you immediately knocked on the door. There was no answer, so you knocked once more. Just as you were about to knock again, you received a message on your D.D.D. from the girl herself.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
S O L E Y
Hello, MC. I went out today with a few of my demon friends.
Lucifer already knows this.
Don't worry about me though, I'll be fine on my own.
Do you want anything from the village?
I'll bring it back home for you.
Y O U
To which village are you heading?
You should have told me that first before you left. Lucifer never said anything about you leaving today.
S O L E Y
Well, maybe he forgot to tell you.
Although, I did tell him last night when we were in his office.
Maybe it slipped his mind because his paperwork's been piling up again.
Y O U
That's weird...
Lucifer usually never forgets anything, nor does he let anything slide right by him.
Are you sure you told him?
S O L E Y
Whether you believe me or not is up to you. It won't change the fact that I'm already outside, and I'm not telling you where I am since you'll just drag me back to the house.
I'm not a little girl anymore, MC, I can take care of myself. Tell Lucifer and his brothers that, too, because they tend to worry so much about me.
Too much even.
Y O U
You really should be more careful, Soley. Those boys are worried for good reason.
I know you think you can handle yourself, but just remember that you're in the Devildom.
This place is dangerous for humans like us. So please tell me where you are so I can at least come and protect you in any case something happens.
... Soley?
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
You didn't receive a reply, which made you anxious. Taking your coat with you, you dashed out of the house and headed towards Purgatory Hall. You had a feeling that Soley might have just ignored your message and didn't want to say anymore, but you couldn't risk it. You didn't want to risk anything at that moment.
As you were catching your breath from running a long way, you knocked at the door of Purgatory Hall. It opened shortly after your last knock and revealed a certain angel that displayed worry on his face the moment he laid his eyes on you.
"MC? What are you doing here? Did you run all the way here from the House of Lamentation?" Cassiel was there by your side when you almost fell to the ground. Not only were your legs trembling, but also your hands, and just your whole body. The angel first assumed that you were frightened, but a glint of a certain look in your eyes told him something different.
"M-MC!" The two of you heard a voice from down the hall of the entrance. A young angel came running towards you as soon as he saw you from the window of his bedroom. You tried to look as well as you could, but you couldn't fool him. Letting the older angel carry you inside, Luke followed the two of you shortly after closing the front door. Simeon and Solomon entered the living room where Cassiel placed you on the couch, and Luke handed you a cup of warm tea he brewed before you arrived.
But you knew you had no time for all of that. You told them what was troubling you. At first, they, too, were worried until a few seconds passed, and the thought came to them. Was it really a bad thing for Soley to disappear?
"Please help me find Soley and bring her back home! I... I need to make sure she's safe. Otherwise, my p—...p— I just.. —p-please....!" You bowed your head towards them after speaking as fast— or even faster than Leviathan whenever he's in one of his moods. They barely understood your words, so they missed the slip-up in your stuttering. You looked at all of them with your adorable puppy eye look. It was something you knew they could never resist, and something you very much needed.
Seeing a lot of ripples from the cup of tea in your hand due to your shaking, Luke grew more worried about you. You knew the young angel wouldn't allow anything bad happening to Soley, even when he wasn't fond of her as well. He was a proper angel in the making, after all.
"We have to find her quickly!" Luke exclaimed as he looked at Simeon and Solomon for help. Simeon nodded in agreement. Solomon hesitated. He looked at you, wondering if that's what you really wanted. When you nodded at him, he sighed deeply and agreed to help. He really couldn't say no to you.
Before the sorcerer could leave the room to prepare a way to locate Soley, he received a message from one of his pact demons. Barbatos himself. He then informed the rest of what the butler told him.
"Apparently, we don't have to worry about Soley anymore. Barbatos said that she's secretly being monitored, so if something happens to her, he'll be alerted right away."
Barbatos, huh? A wave of relief washed your troubles away, making you melt onto the sofa. Luke dropped himself on the spot next to you, and he rested his body against yours. He looked happy to see you again... It hurt. Why couldn't they look at you like that anymore?
After a few hours of catching up with them and getting to eat Luke's delicious cookies again, you headed back out. You agreed to let Cassiel walk you home, knowing he had something he wanted to talk to you about, and it was making you wonder. As if he could read your thoughts, he answered that question.
"Did you make up your mind yet, MC?"
"... Yes, actually.... I'm going to leave."
"I see... Back to the Human Realm, then?"
You smiled sadly in response. You looked around you and watched as the lights shone upon every demon in the streets. You passed by the stores filled with memories of you and the brothers. Memories that seemed to be too far away from your reach.
When you reached for the gates of the house, Cassiel grabbed your hand and squeezed it for a tiny moment. You quietly questioned his intentions before he spoke up, "When you ever need something, please don't hesitate to tell me. You may not think I'm as reliable as the brothers, but I'm sure I can help you in a way they can't.... So when that happens..."
The way the angel was acting made you wonder something about him. Was he always like that? Now that you thought about it, you've never had the chance to judge his character properly. You've never really seen him at the moments when he's most happy, sad, excited, or flustered. So, in the end, you ended up taking his offer. When you did, he smiled with content and waited for you to head inside the house before turning on his heels and heading back home.
You returned to your room, mind filled with thoughts. Disturbing, blurry yet clear, pretty little thoughts. Those were all you needed to pick up your pen and start writing on a piece of paper.
There, Soley sat on your bed as she fidgeted with a sealed envelope containing the letter you had just written. She recalled the sight of you when she had just returned home; you were walking down the stairs of the entrance hall, heading towards the front door with your packed luggage in hand.
"MC? Are you going somewhere?"
"Soley...! You're... home... Much, much earlier than I expected."
"Yeah, well... something happened... Never mind that— Where are you going?"
"I'm... I'm heading back to the human world."
Soley squealed with excitement, letting herself fall backwards onto your bed, hovering the letter she had already ripped open above her face.
"I left a letter for the brothers in my room... It's just on my pillow. So, if they don't see it tonight, can you give it to them tomorrow? I want you to make sure they read it after I'm already gone."
After she finished reading the contents of your message, she pushed herself up and ran out of your room. She rushed towards the common room, somewhere she knew the brothers wouldn't be around for long after just getting home. She made her way towards the fireplace and squatted down, carefully watching the flame dance before reaching the letter out to it. It didn't take long for the fire to engulf the whole thing, and the girl was smiling during the whole procedure.
The flame danced and danced and danced some more until there was nothing left of the papers but soot and ash. Soley jumped in surprise and got up on her feet when she heard the common room doors slowly creak open. She immediately dusted herself off and made sure she looked proper before facing the eldest born who had just entered the room.
"Soley, what are you doing so close to the fireplace?"
"Calm down, Lucifer. I didn't get hurt, I promise, so don't worry about me! I was just a bit cold, but I'm better now! Much, much better!"
"... Alright. We brought dinner from Hell's Kitchen, so head to the dining room. Everyone's already waiting."
"Okaayyy~!"
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
To my dear family,
I just wanted to say that I still love you no matter what happens, and I want the best for all of you. I've never thought that things would go this way. Not since you accepted me as part of your family all those years ago. I really wished it didn't come to this, but it's too late for that now.
I want you all to know that I'm happy for you. You're all cheerful and content with how everything is, and... that makes me really happy...
I'm writing this letter as a goodbye. A goodbye to all of our precious memories together and to what could have been. I'm really sorry that I went with this instead of personally saying goodbye, but even if I did get the chance to speak with you, I knew I wouldn't be able to bear it. I can't part with you while I look at your faces, so this is the best way. And, if there was any chance at all, I wouldn't want you to stop me.
By the time you're reading this, I've already left for the human realm. If you ever want to see me again, I added my home address and contact information on here. Please find me whenever you want to because I know for a fact that I would want to see you again and be part of your family once more. But for now, it's goodbye.
I'll be leaving my D.D.D. with Diavolo and Barbatos, so please don't contact me there anymore. It would be useless as I won't be able to see your messages.
Well... this letter has gone off long enough, so I'll stop here. Just remember that I love each and every one of you. I'm looking forward to you reaching out to me.
With all the love and wishes,
MC
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Tumblr media
「 CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VIII 」
175 notes · View notes
taintedcigs · 9 months ago
Text
it is always so interesting to me the colors taylor associates with love, it’s red. at first. she believes its what love should be like; tumultuous, exciting, never-ending passion. but as she enters into new relationships, phases of her life, she realizes love isn’t burning red, there is never going to be that endless passion, there are going to be times where its just calm and you feel fine. and that’s what she desperately seeks, a love that is not going to be a full upwards experience, nor a downwards one. it’s going to be stable, and then not stable, then boring, then possibly fun, and then repeat: love is unpredictable and doesn’t stay in just the confinements of one thing or another.
she realizes this during the red era as the prologue states: ‘real love shines golden like starlight, maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it’. after this, we can slowly start to see how taylor shifts from the idea of love being red, into the idea of love being golden; we first see this gold association clearly in the reputation album, in dress; 'made your mark on me a golden tattoo' and in dancing with our hands tied; ‘deep blue but you painted me golden’
then she explores this idea of love being associated with gold much further with the muse in lover, the love she saw as starlight during the red era has fully shifted into daylight, she now views starlight as something that ‘combusts’ and 'fades’ while she sees daylight as getting out of that darkness, and seeing the bright side. ‘i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden.’
we see this theme in a LOT of the songs in reputation and lover. HOWEVER, i feel like this idea of love as gold fades when we get to evermore.
im one of the ppl who will argue to death that folkmore for sure isn’t entirely fictional, especially evermore. i don’t think taylor fully realized how much her personal feelings & experiences were integrated into it when she wrote evermore, but it’s clear as day with everything that transpired after midnights was released and with 2023. and i think she realized it later on too, during 2022-2023, which was the time she started writing ttpd.
‘gold rush’ BREAKS her idea of love being gold, ‘i don’t like a gold rush’ is a direct reference to the muse in reputation and lover era. later on in the midnights album, i feel like she realizes this further, how the idea of a 'golden love' is also a mistaken belief, like the red love was.
‘question…?’ reflects this further, ‘'cause I don't remember who I was before you painted my nights, a color i’ve searched for since.’ yet, i feel like, she is still in denial here, believing that golden is the color she's been searching, therefore, refusing to stop believing in this color association.
now, moving onto the tortured poets department, which i know, is a an album that isn't out and we haven’t heard the song, but let's talk about the alchemy!!! the word alchemy is by definition about the chemical science and speculative philosophy with the aim of transforming base metals into gold. i think this song is about her fully realizing that the ‘golden love’ is just a fallacy like, ‘red love’ was. and depending on how the song will play out, i feel like it could be about whether her realizing that associating colors with love is just another way to romanticize and create this impossible, inachievable goal in her head, like she did with red, or she still associates love with golden, which could be the case, since i think taylor has seen "golden love" as the most precious, safe and happy; e.g. the best day (gold associated with her mom), and her muse in previous albums wasn't the golden love she believed to be, thus, she couldn't transform it into one! 👀
all that blabbing about a song ive never, listened, yes. but i love desperately analyzing taylor songs, it is very annoying, i cannot stop myself. I AM SORRY.
Tumblr media
86 notes · View notes