#i ate so many eggs

[thesingingrevolution]

the vegan egg scrambles are good but i really wish there was a regular vegan fried egg…. i liked the crispy eggs the most….. im craving it….. someone please invent that 😭

[sea-jello]

hong kong miku,,,

[ducksbyday]

In another realm, we would've been fucked.

[AKA, what if the French were present during the Eggpire fiasco]

Extra: I tried to do funny hahas with cropping, but it didn't work so here are the funny haha's :]

(under "read more" more info about the lil AU I made :D)

TLDR: I like connecting different series/worlds. It's one of my favourite things to do, so here's a lil AU where the French members of the QSMP were present during the Eggpire before ending up on the island! :D

Étoiles got sick quickly and was among the first to join the Eggpire. During the red banquet, he was the security guard and stopped people from leaving it. Further, he was also in charge of stopping people from removing the blood vines from the world (which ofc he did by fighting them to the death).

Antoine discovered after a while that he was one of few with full immunity, which gladly made use of by inconveniencing Étoiles whenever he could (thanks to him, Q, Techno and Purple could get into the banquet without being spotted by anyone). He was also a part of the pro-omelette movement.

Pierre was on holiday when the world went to shit and came back right before the banquet started. He decided that it wasn't his business and spent most of his time underground building machines. He helped Antoine clean up the blood vines once but then got attacked by Étoiles and decided that he'd rather not get involved. That encounter did cause him to also get infected, so he locked himself up in a bunker until it all blew over.

(I don't have anything for Baghera or Kameto but ideas are always welcome <3)

(oh yea, also sign translates to: "no armor, no weapons. And no dirt, and no explosives, and no boxes") (and the sign in the comic translates ^^ plus: no camera's, no microphones, no Pierre's, no bags)

[yoshistory]

They had a breakfast burger 🍔 at the cafeteria today and I got one before trying to pick it up and realizing I made a Big Mistake by choosing to attempt to eat this when I have to go back to work in 30 minutes

[unopenablebox]

i'm so beautiful and interesting

[yardsards]

meringues!

[whataboutfractions]

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Let’s play a game of “How many sensory items can I accumulate before people suspect there’s something odd going on with my brain”

[californiaquail]

the key to meat substitutes is not to try as hard as possible to make it taste like real meat but to make it taste good and have a good texture. some companies do not seem to understand this

[thatbanjobusiness]

Top 5 "What the fuck, Bill Monroe?" moments in bluegrass history ;D

I am cackling so bad at this prompt. Gosh, I'm sure I'm forgetting major things or misrepresenting a memory or two, BUT LET'S HAVE A GOOD TIME, YO!

How would you like to work for a band where you're afraid you're going to get shot because of your boss's love triangle? Please enter: Bill Monroe and His Blue Grass Boys in the mid-1940s. Bill Monroe was openly bringing his mistress Bessie on the road with him as the band toured. Bessie's current husband was a cop. You know, armed and pissed. Presumably, according to a semi-unreliable book, Bill's bandmates were concerned that they were huge-ass targets for Angry Cop Husband. They were gunning down the road at >90 mph in a car with "Bill Monroe and His Blue Grass Boys" emblazoned on the sides - you really couldn't make yourselves a bigger target for an angry cop.

In an accurate book, there was a short period of time where some unknown figure went out on full revenge against Bill. I think it's been theorized at least part of it was an angry ex-lover. She(?) they(?) vandalized his car with "hateful words"; broke into his house, smashed a fire poker through an image of Bill's face, pried all the awards of his off their displays and ripped his name off, and smashed two of his mandolins into hundreds of shards; and in another incident broke into his tour bus and stole jewelry, photos, and cash worth thousands of dollars. A few months later, he and his wife divorced, and he heard someone shooting a gun into the side of his cabin. Bill, nervous, was seen performing in a bullet proof vest that year. To describe just. A fraction of the drama that happened in that half a year.

There are great stories involving Bill being the bouncer at his own concerts. One of my favorites involves the band being heckled by a concert goer, whom Bill told several times to shut up. Well, in the middle of a GOSPEL number, Bill turned to his lead singer and said, "Carry on, Lester." Thus the band sang that gospel number above the chaotic sounds of their boss chucking the unruly guest down the flight of stairs behind them.

Bill Monroe got into a car accident that put him in a body cast for three months not because he couldn't avoid a crash, but because he was too stubborn to budge because "he was right." A drunk driver came careening up the wrong side of the road, heading straight towards them, and Bessie screamed for Bill to swerve, "He's coming into our lane! Get over!" and Bill stubbornly shouted, "Let HIM get over!" And thus Bill sustained nineteen broken bones, including a broken pelvis, a spine fractured in five places, a compound leg fracture, arm fractures, a broken nose, and three cracks in his skull. He had a concussion and the force avulsed one eye out of the socket. Despite these monumental injuries and being in shock, Bill pushed the eye back into its socket himself, carried Bessie (a big, tall lady!) off the road, and insisted on walking himself on his own two legs into the hospital. When people later asked Bill about this event, he bragged about his encounter with the drunk driver, "I didn't give an inch!" How the heck is this man real? There's stubborn and then there is Bill Monroe Stubborn.

Bill made his band (for next to no money) build the stage for his festival he was hosting on his farm. The stage was thirty feet wide. One of the largest trees they felled, intended to be a beam that went over the top of the stage, was so large and heavy it took the entire band struggling to get it off their truck. And then their boss waltzes over, grabs it, balances it on his shoulder, walks it to the stage, and throws it on the ground. While the band just stares in disbelief.

Gosh. I'm angry that I have to stop at five. There are dozens more stories rattling in my head. "Bill Monroe Stories" is its own GENRE! I love this idiot man, his superhuman strength, and his larger-than-life personality. And I am so angry, so angry, that the biopic they've been planning to make has been in development hell for like a decade. Who needs another fictional superhero story when you've got THIS?

[iexistfor1post]

Oh and idk if this is feeding my anxiety or helping but I bought another phone charger

Why?

Cause it is for my old phone

Just the old phone

Not my new one that uses the same cord

Nope for the old one

I think it didn't help but who knows

Not this mess of a 18 to 20 something

Also because I brought up cord in relation to my old iPad and Ipod somewhere in my room hidden for out of sight out of mind ♡

Except when brain does a thinking

[maipareshaan]

I get obsessed wifh a certain food and can't stop ugh its so annoying

[stinkbeck]

really rackin my brain here… are hard boiled eggs like worth it….. like in my life are they worth it….

[pynkfairyheart]

Pairings: connie x black reader

Warnings: smut 18+ Connie's a lil toxic, mentions of a gun, pretty angsty

pt.2 to birthday girl but can be read as a standalone

Miss you

Constance Springer. The man who was once the source of your happiness though recently the source of your frustration and headaches.

“I just don't get it, Con. You take me on these amazing dates, buy me anything that catches my attention, and say you wanna spend the rest of your life with me, yet when I ask to publicly announce we’re together, which I shouldn't have to, you always brush it aside.” You spoke as calmly as possible. Though considering this was the 4th time this week you were having this conversation your calm tone resembled shouting.

It had been five months since your birthday. Five months since Connie gave you the best gift you could ever think of. Himself.

The first four months felt as if you were on cloud nine. The entire duration it was as if you were conjoined at the hip. Connie had to make a couple of drops? There you were in his passenger seat watching a movie or using his card to pay for the large quantity of your cart.

You needed to go make up a missed exam? Connie was waiting in his car with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. The only time you weren't seen together was if he was doing something he didn't want you involved in or if he was out buying you secret lavish gifts such as the car he got you a week after your birthday. Life was great.

It wasn't til you were at your nail appointment with Mika where she nearly cut you with her clippers from shock the moment you brought up your relationship with Connie, that you realized no one knew about it.

At first, you were confused. How could no one know? You were always together but the more you thought about it you started to understand. Whenever you were out he wasn't as affectionate as when it was just the two of you, just a few touches that could easily be considered friendly, but you just brushed it off as him not being comfortable with PDA.

Even when you went on dates he'd buy the entire venue or restaurant out so it'd be just you two or would plan the nicest dates at the house, either way, no one saw you on dates as a couple.

You thought about it for a while before it finally ate you up and you just had to ask. His response was the reason shit went left.

“Whatchu mean let people know we’re together? Ion want people in our business. I'm yours and you're mine, that's all that matters” He brushed it off with a kiss on your forehead before running to go get some eggs around the corner. He was only gone for ten minutes yet in that time frame you went through hundreds of different reasons as to why he responded that way.

At first, you were confused. Then, you were trying to reassure yourself he's right as long as we know then we straight. But immediately after that thought came anger why the fuck doesn't he want people to know? Am I the fuckin side chick?

By the time Connie came back you were fuming. You trusted Connie, the night he asked you to be his he promised you he'd never do anything to hurt you yet you couldn't deny how suspicious this was. He barely had time to lock the door behind him before you started with your questions.

“You cheating on me Constance?”

“What?” He almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned, looking at you as if you had said the stupidest shit ever which in his mind you did.

“You heard me. Are you cheating?” You followed him into the kitchen of his apartment.

“No [☆] I'm not cheating. I needa take you to the ER? Cause it sounds like you hit your head while I was gone”

“Then why don't you wanna tell anyone?”

“About us?”

“Duh”

“I already told you, mami, I don't want people all up in our business”

That was two weeks ago and you guys were nowhere near in a better place. By no means were you insecure. You knew Connie loved you and only you but you wanted others to know as well. It's not like you wanted to leak one of your many sex tapes on IG. You just wanted at least your friend group to know you were together. Connie wasn't having it though.

“Mama lower your tone” He groaned. Inked hands rubbing his face from frustration.

“Just tell me, Con. Why don't you want anyone to know?”

“Is it wrong to wanna keep our relationship private? I love you princess but you buggin’ for real. Drop it”

“You know what. Fuck this, nd fuck you too. There's a big fucking difference between private and secret.” You slammed his bedroom door. This was too much. You couldn't take it anymore; it was as if he was ashamed of you. You loved Connie, you really, really loved him but this hurt, the constant drop of your heart whenever he let go of your hand the moment you stepped out of his apartment complex or whenever a girl flirted with him in front of the group but there was nothing you could do. You were done. No amount of love could make you settle for anything less than you knew you deserved.

Despite your teary eyes you managed to pull yourself together. Grabbing your bag, you packed as much as possible before finally exiting the room.

Connie was in the middle of rolling a blunt when he saw you walk out, he would have been convinced that his heart was lying on the couch when he stood up if it wasn't for the loud thumping in his ears.

“Where are you going?” He stood in your way

“Connie please move” You sniffled

“No, not until you tell me where you're going. Please [☆] lo siento, mami, por favor, no te vayas please don't go” His voice cracked as reality hit him. Dropping to his knees, his hands gripped the soft flesh of your hips.

“I promise to be better, I promise. I will call everyone on my phone and tell them about us right now, please don't go” At this point, you had to look away. His tear-stricken face and Spanish almost had you fold.

“We'll work this out ma, estaré mejor, lo prometo I'll be better, I promise”

“No, we can't Connie. Not right now” And with that, you left.

A month had passed so far. It was rough in the beginning. He blew your phone up 24/7 to the point where you had to block him. You couldn't eat, and whenever you did have the energy to stay awake you did nothing but scroll on your phone, your thumb always finding the photo album where you stored all pictures of Connie.

Sasha and Mikasa finally had enough, while Mika was the only one you told Sasha had a pretty good idea after she went to visit Connie only to find him in the same state as you, maybe even worse. Deciding you needed to leave the walls of your apartment and have fun, they finally convinced you to go out. Taking a couple of pregame shots while shaking ass in the mirror, your outfit leaving nothing to the imagination as you finally felt ready to face reality.

By the time you had arrived at the party, the drinks started to kick in and you grabbed the first sexy guy you saw and dragged him to the dance floor.

Unknown to you Connie was also at the party, standing in the corner as he made a few deals. He looked tired, and he was. The moment the door closed behind you he broke down. Ignoring all of the calls and texts he got from clients as he sat there. He was angry. Angry at you for leaving him but mostly angry at himself for fucking up.

When Connie finally caught sight of you it was as if someone had finally flipped the switch on throughout his body. His heart sped up, his posture straightened and his dick twitched at the sight of your body in the dress.

His dick wasn't the only thing twitching. When it finally registered to Connie that you were letting some random guy touch you as you whined on him, his eye twitched and his hand immediately went to his gun.

He was furious. With zero fucks he approached you, the barrel of his gun pressed against the guy who you were currently throwing it back on.

When you no longer felt the swaying of the man behind you, you turned to be met with the fear-frozen stranger and Connie whispering something in his ear. You didn't have time to ask what was going on before the guy scurried off and Connie roughly grabbed your arm, dragging you out of the house party.

Despite the fact you were no longer together and he had no right to drag you away, you stayed quiet. Connie rarely got angry but when he did you knew it was best to just stay quiet.

“Get in the fucking car [☆]” He threw open the door. You were convinced the thong you had on was completely drenched after those six words. His voice was low and threatening and you almost felt disgusting from how turned on you were. Almost. With one look into his rage-filled eyes, you got in the car, the door slamming behind you when he was sure you were safely in.

He quickly got in, tire tracks marking the ground as he sped off. It was silent for a minute before you decided to speak, once his grip on the steering wheel loosened and the color returned to his knuckles.

“Connie?” You faced him, eyes burning into the side of his head as he kept his dark stare on the road.

“Connie, come on. You can't just kidnap me and then not speak. Pull over and talk to me now” You huffed.

With a roll of his eyes, he pulled into a deserted parking lot.

“Hello? Either you get to talking or I'm getting out nd calling an Uber”

“No the fuck you're not” He groaned loudly, eyes meeting yours.

“Then talk” You borderline yelled

If Connie's hair was long enough to grip he'd have a couple bald spots from how frustrated he was. He gave you both time to cool down before he spoke.

“Look I'm sorry for dragging you away, and for threatening your lil boyfriend-”

“He's not my boyfriend”

“He's not?”

“No. Continue your apology” You rolled your eyes.

Your response had a smirk forming on his face. He missed you so much, even your attitude.

“I missed you ma. I'm sorry for dragging you away. I'm also sorry for how things ended.” He grabbed your hand.

“I now understand your feelings and your concerns and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you or if there was another woman. You're the love of my life ma, this past month has been pure hell. I need you baby. Please take me back.” His hands were shaking as they held yours securely. It was rare to see Connie cry, and the sight of his tear-streaked face made your heart ache. He really did love you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you asked the one question that started it all.

“Be real Con. Why didn't you want anyone to know?”

With a sigh, he rubbed his facial hair.

“I was afraid you'd realize you could do better”

“What? What made you think that Con?”

“I sell drugs for a living, mami, I'm involved with a shit ton of dangerous people. I was afraid when others found out they'd start telling you things about me and you'd realize you can do so much better”

“Oh, Connie” You could no longer resist the need to be close to him. Maneuvering yourself so you sat in his lap you cupped his face as your eyes searched his.

“Papa there is no one better. I love you so much, Connie. There is nothing anyone could ever say to make me want or love you less because I know you. I know how much you care and love those around you. There is no one better, Connie.”

For some time, the two of you were wrapped in each other's arms as you faced your emotions.

When you both were calm, you finally dared to look into his eyes. The energy shift resembling the one from your birthday.

“Con” You slowly inched your face closer to his

“I'm sorry for all the hurt I put us through mami” His hand wrapped around your neck

“Déjame compensarte let me make it up to you” He closed the space between you.

It felt like the first breath taken after being underwater for a long time. You felt alive, felt loved. The once slow kiss grew into something more passionate. Both of you needy, as you fiend for dominance in the heated exchange.

Ultimately you lost the battle when his hands gripped your hips tightly as if to assure himself you weren't leaving again. It wasn't soon after that you found yourself in the back of his car with your legs resting on his shoulder as he drilled into you.

He littered kisses on your ankle as his grip on your hips tightened. His thick cock stretching you out had your eyes rolling back and moans of ecstasy coming out of your agape mouth.

“Yeah? You doing so good fa me ma. You miss this? Miss how good I fuck you?” His thumb found its way to your clit.

“Fuck, Connie” You whined. Attempting to push his hand away from the sensitive bud.

“Answer me princesa or ima stop” He warned

“Yes, Connie- mhmph I miss it so bad papi oh my god” Your velvety walls squeezed him tight.

"Fuuuck. Don't ever leave me again, you hear me? I can't take it, baby, I love you too much. T-try that shit again nd Imma make you watch while I put a bullet in between his eyes. Understand?” His pace increased.

God that shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. You were convinced you could have come on the spot, the added pressure on your carotids when you didn't answer immediately wasn't any help.

“Y-yes Con, I promise it won't happen again” You managed to say in between the moans and whimpers that you no longer had the energy to contain.

“Keep squeezing me, mami. I'm so fuckin close” He groaned, hand no longer on your neck as it rested against the steamy windows to stable himself.

The atmosphere of the car was pure filth. Your moans bounced off the windows, the sloshing sound of your wet pussy and slapping skin that created the creamy ring around the base of cock topping it all off.

His thrusts were slowly getting sloppy, you were just squeezing him so tight.

“C-Con” You managed to gasp out, the marks he littered on your neck to suppress his whimpers, having the coil in your belly tighten.

“I know mama, let go fa me” He groaned.

That instant you came, eyes rolling to the back of your head for a quick second as your cream and small spurts of squirt leaked from your pussy.

“Shit mama” He panted, dick twitching as he painted your walls with his cum.

Connie being the lover boy he was despite repeatedly denying it whispered apologies, and sweet promises into your ear as you came down from your high.

“I'm sorry mami, I promise to be better” He kissed you softly as if you were in a fairytale before whispering in your ear.

“But don't think just cus we're good now, that I'm not gon tear that ass up when we get home for giving that loser a taste of what's mine.”

I dont know how i feel about this one buuutttt all thanks to @masterofthepp for giving me this idea. Hopefully it meets your standards babes. As always any feedback is welcome. mwah

[found-the-secrets-in-your-eyes]

my diet gets so fucked up when I'm on break

[giverofempathy]

literally miserable rn ☹️