#i as a big sister who was really invested in this sister relationship feel kind of let down

[lyxchen]

Okay okay So. I've been talking to myself for 10 minutes now so I can also just post it on tumblr. Also major spoilers for the Arcane finale

So. I think it makes no sense for Jinx to die. And I don't just say that because she's one of my favorite characters but also story wise, narrative wise. We see especially in the 8th episode but also in the rest of the show how little Jinx cares for her own life. Like already just with how lying down she has like half her body over the edge of that giant propeller where she works in season one. One wrong move and she could fall off that thing and she does not care. And then shortly before the finale she is fully suicidal. So I would have thought that her whole story is about being alive. And how in the end, to get a satisfying ending for her story she learns to live again and to Want to live again. Her whole story should have been about learning that she is important, that she has value, that people love her and care for her and want her to live and so she learns and gets to a point where she wants to live too. For herself and for her family.

So for her to sacrifice herself just like that makes no sense to me. Her being at her lowest point trying to kill herself but then Ekko somehow gets her out of that and she has a complete change, already just with her look but a change in look would also imply a change in character. But then she still kills herself. Yes it was to save her sister but I think it would have been so much more powerful for her and more satisfying for her story if then she instead didn't kill herself but found a way to survive. Because now she wants to live for herself and for her family.

So I personally am kind of disappointed For Jinx and her story. I feel bad that this is how it ends for her because she deserved better and also in her own story she deserved better than to die. She should have been allowed to be forgiven and to live freely with her family as hersef, loved and loving others

[oddlittlestories]

Poor Chase, nobody makes him feel loved

His dad never tells him he's sick and then cuts him out of the will

His sister isn't *really* up for a reciprocal relationship

The first time he and Cameron have sex, she's high and tells him "don't turn into a good guy on me now"; after that, it's fwb "like microwave pizza." He's steady as the sun for her, putting out healthy boundaries and communication however he can, and in the end, she still leaves him for reasons even SHE can't fully articulate. And he's still so invested in reconciliation.

The lady from the wedding pegs him, accurately, as a nice guy who's lost his way. But they don't connect.

House cares about him, so deeply, but after Chase's stabbing, is unable to come visit him. Chase knows this. Chase *articulates* this. Chase does not FEEL this. He doesn't feel loved. (For the record, I think House does his best with Chase. I think House tries to be kind and supportive in early seasons, in his own way, and again after the divorce. And House pushes Chase, when he needs it. But their relationship is a whole OTHER question.)

He and Foreman care about each other, but Foreman holds EVERYONE at arm's length. Screwing with each other and pushing each other to be more, to avoid the hypocrisy, etc. are the closest they get to *close*.

I think Chase is *absolutely* close with Thirteen. But he's the big brother figure. He takes her out for coffee to talk through the guilt of killing someone. He comes in for the rescue and keeps her from blowing her life up in After Hours. And when she leaves, there's a bit of an implication that they don't really keep in touch (but also this was mid-2000s tv where they did NOT know how to write a character off and still keep them in the other characters' lives).

Chase has a long, hard road towards loving himself. Feeling like he's enough. Standing up for himself and his worth and believing it. And while he does have help growing up and pushing himself, he has almost no help in loving himself. But, more or less, he gets there anyways

[sweetnnaivete]

— minerva mcgonagall moodboard + headcanons

— summary bc minerva ROCKS i love her (also outing myself as a mcgonagall x pomfrey shipper LMFAOOO) — a/n i said i was jus gonna do hcs 🫣 but i couldn't help but do a moodboard — taglist @picklerab23 @lovelorngirl @that-random-poseidon-child @nuncscioquidsitamor-13 (sorry if any of you didn't want to be tagged, i just tagged ppl who seemed interested 😓)

HEADCANONS UNDER CUT

ᥫ᭡. her father fought in ww2, and both she and her mother took care of him when he was back, as he struggled with ptsd

ᥫ᭡. she loved growing up in a muggle village, partly bc she felt special and smart, but also bc it made her have a closer relationship with her father

ᥫ᭡. when she got to hogwarts, the sorting hat took a long time to put her in a house, before she swore at it in her head and it screeched “GRYFFINDOR”

ᥫ᭡. sidenote: minnie def uses muggle swear words ik my girl is not saying "merlin's saggy ballsack" at every inconvenience

ᥫ᭡. she became popular pretty quickly, but she only had one real friend — poppy pomfrey

ᥫ᭡. they went EVERYWHERE together

ᥫ᭡. they were the big sisters of gryffindor house, even of hogwarts in general

ᥫ᭡. minnie got top grades in all her classes, so the only thing that offered a challenge to her was quidditch

ᥫ᭡. she'd read about in some books, but she had never played it before, so she tried out her second year, but failed to get in

ᥫ᭡. but over the summer she practiced, and got in her third year

ᥫ᭡. a lot of people were cruel to her, since she was a girl, which kept getting in her head and worsened her performance

ᥫ᭡. on one match, the bullying got so bad she didn't show her face the whole rest of weekend — even though they ended up winning

ᥫ᭡. poppy found out why and she hexed the bullies, giving them really bad nosebleeds

ᥫ᭡. minnie got back to playing quidditch, and was better than ever

ᥫ᭡. sidenote: everytime minnie got hurt in a match, she'd get taken care of by poppy (who volunteered at the hospital wing) and asjsksja so hurt comfort 😭 i love them

ᥫ᭡. in her fourth year, she dated a fellow chaser for a few months, but she was never really invested

ᥫ᭡. meanwhile, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous when poppy got in a relationship herself

ᥫ᭡. she broke up with her boyfriend on a hogsmeade weekend and he got mad and tried to hit her but she hexed him and left him rolling around in the snow in pain

ᥫ᭡. (because of this, she got called to the headmaster's office, and was put in detention, tho she negotiated it to only be once rather than a whole week)

ᥫ᭡. because of her experience taking care of her father, she was one of the most compassionate students, and eventually teachers, towards the younger ones who struggled with mental health

ᥫ᭡. she and poppy, already popular for their beauty and personalities, became known for their genuine kindness

ᥫ᭡. she and poppy became prefects at the same time, furthering their reputation as the gryffindor mothers

ᥫ᭡. she passed her o.w.l.s with flying colors, etc. etc.

ᥫ᭡. she spent the whole summer before her sixth year with poppy, eating ice cream, taking the train to edinburgh to go to the museums and “experience some culture”

ᥫ᭡. they def “practiced kissing” on each other, even though they'd both already had their first kisses

ᥫ᭡. the next year, minnie worked on becoming an animagus, under the supervision of dumbledore

ᥫ᭡. she became an animagus in a little over seven months, due to a few failed attempts, but!!! she got their in the end bc of course she did she's mcgonagall

ᥫ᭡. from that point forward she was constantly turning into her cat form, bc she loved yowling at her fellow students when they pissed her off

ᥫ᭡. of course she had to keep the fact that she was an animagus a secret, even tho she did it legally

ᥫ᭡. sixth and seventh year she got a lot of awards for transfiguration, but now she was starting to worry about where she would go in her career

ᥫ᭡. most of her teachers insisted she take up a teaching position at hogwarts but she was like “no😭😭 i hate kids”

ᥫ᭡. after graduation, she got a job at a magazine in london, where she had a column about transfiguration. she interviewed famous people, talked about how transfiguration and other forms of magic can be mixed, etc.

ᥫ᭡. but she wasn't happy

ᥫ᭡. at this point, she was penpals w poppy, who was working back at hogwarts

ᥫ᭡. poppy filled her in on the drama, and when minnie found out dumbledore was leaving his position as transfiguration professor to be headmaster, she rushed to apply

ᥫ᭡. obviously, she was given the job

— now for some headcanons from when she was a professor !

ᥫ᭡. one time minnie got in a fight with another animal in her animagus form and she showed up to class the next day with nicks in her ear and a limp

ᥫ᭡. causing a school-wide rumor that she was secretly in a gang (she doesn't deny it)

ᥫ᭡. minnie in animagus form always accompanied remus on the full moon, to make sure he never hurt himself too badly

ᥫ᭡. mcgonagall def picked favorites, but they had to earn it. some of her notable favorites: molly weasley, bill weasley, regulus black, remus lupin, andromeda black, mary macdonald, hermione granger, luna lovegood, neville longbottom, harry potter, fred & george weasley, and lee jordan (the quidditch commentator)

that's all i can think of right now, feel free to add on! <3

[thatneoncrisis]

the expendable child character is a narrative parallel to jinx reconciling her relationship with her sister and younger self. like i get not liking expendable child character but she does have an obvious narrative purpose outside of just being cutesy for sillies and then dying for sads. also she had like a cute hair dye montage and stuff man shit was tragic :( maybe im a braindead enjoyer of media trope slop but have you considered that shit was tragic

spoilersssss under da cut

hey have you considered that throwing a character in a show who barely has any personality or any inner world just for them to die because you KNOW theyre a cute kid that people will get attached to is uuuuuh cheap? like i fully understand why she exists, i get the parallels the show isnt subtle, they LITERALLY dye her hair blue and braid it, and she spends half her screen time being the symbol zaun wants jinx to be. how the fuck am i supposed to register her death as tragic when the writing was on the wall the moment she stepped on screen. how am i supposed to get attached to what is essentially a teddy bear filled with C4.

i dont like her bc the show knows how to write kids- violet, powder and mylo bounced off each other and the adults in their lives in such a natural way (excluding the other boy and ekko bc frankly they dont get enough screen time for me to judge them and the first guy was clearly doing double duty as comedic relief/oh wow another dead kid). i do not like child death as blatant manipulation, i do not like pretending that kid was a real and interesting character whos death i should be invested in, i do not like acting like recognizing what a show is doing is the same as them executing it well in any way. i understand CONCEPTUALLY why jinx likes her, omg the baby is just like me fr, they spell it out by having her look at the camera and go wow you remind me of powder who is who i used to be but then bad shit happened but youre cool, but thats not the same as like. building a bond with them, a rapport, shes just kind of this amusing Thing jinx has around and doesnt really care about outside of "kids dying is bad"

finally, do not do that fucking thing where youre like "oh well maybe i just like shitty poopoo tropes but i thought it was pretty good 🥺" how the fuck am i supposed to respond to that. im not like, upset at arcane for fun i like it when stories are told well and get frustrated when the pieces are there and just never connected. i feel like this show has reached a breaking point with how many people it can take from her without it meaning anything after a certain point. half the time its not even her fault it just kind of happens to her in some greek tragedy twist of fate, shes not allowed to have good things and instead of it being like, a conversation about children of war and how unfair shit is dropped on their heads constantly, jinxs motivations and energy is only tangentially related to zauns sovereignty movement.

theyre so like. fixated on her having this overly unserious attitude about everything around her, and i get its a coping thing to distance herself but it RARELY lets up during pivotal moments. its like a story is happening to her rather than her actively contributing- the people would have been taken to stillwater whether she was at the rally or not- sevika would have figured out a way inside that building with or without jinx, they did not escape stillwater thanks to her ingenuity, but because that guy summoned a big ass zombie werewolf who happened to also be her father. the ONLY reason she goes to that building is bc thats where the baby is, i dont think isha as a symbol of the inner child, was inspiring jinx to be a good person, shes just like, a creature of convenience. i guess while im here i can let you guys out or whatever. and what does it mean when that inner child, the living embodiment of whatever goodness and innocence may still exist in jinxs heart, is ripped away from her in a violent explosion exactly the same way as last time? she did the opposite of what vi did last time and the outcome was identical. is history repeating itself, will jinx change? is there any change that can happen that will negate the absolutely comical amount of bad shit that happens to her? this show does not in any way give me the confidence to believe that will happen

basically i think jinxs development thus far is repetitive and gives very little consideration to her as a character rather than an archetype, and isha suffers greatly for it. why show a relationship when you can simply imply it? why make the child any harder for jinx and the audience to project on? why does she need a history, or goals or any interests that arent a giant blue flag that shes powder 2

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞🪞 dude I am going absolutely insane over this story (Chris is home!!! family drama!!!! uh oh!!!!!)

THANK YOU!!!! Final chapter writing is IN PROGRESS.

144 or 1k - whatever comes first!

---

The family. The partner. The sense of absolute belonging. Something he built for himself, and something he hopes, and believes, he’ll get to keep. 

Buck was right about him and Eddie. They are great. They slip into the romantic parts of a relationship fairly easily. Like it was a switch they had both been fighting not to turn on anyway. It just seems like a small step from where they already were. Just a new level of a pre-existing affection. 

Well, not entirely.

Sex is tricky. Not because they’re incompatible or anything like that. There’s a hell of an attraction and desire to take things further, even if there’s a bit of a learning curve for Eddie. One Buck is obviously familiar with. No, the problem is actually opportunity. Between work and kids, there’s not actually a lot of open moments. 

They each have a two bedroom house. Their kids are way too different ages to have sleepovers together. So sleepovers for Buck and Eddie are a limited thing. Especially since they live so close together. Eddie does invest in a pullout couch for Dove to crash on, which makes Carla watching both kids easier. And they do have those post-shift, still during the school day moments to themselves. But most of those moments end with a joint nap. 

Whatever. They’re working through it. Maddie has offered to take Dove for a sleepover anytime.That’ll help. 

It’s kind of a busy time for them to get together. Christmas, then New Years, then Dove’s seventh birthday. It all happens in a whirlwind. Like a blur of holiday colors, big meals, and baked goods. Despite all that, they manage to give Dove two birthday parties. One with her friends from school and one with the whole 118 family. Considering she’s never had one before, two feels like the least Buck could do. And he thinks he’s right. It’s the perfect way to kick off the year. 

Half a year ago, he’d met her for the second time as a scared, lonely six year-old. Now, she’s a bright, chatty seven year-old, who knows her place in the world, too. She has a whole family looking out for her, celebrating her. He thinks she doesn’t feel alone anymore, and that the fear of losing what she’s gained is getting less and less potent every day.

ii.

The Wilsons’ adoption of Mara goes through in mid-February. Which, of course, means there’s another big party. One that everyone is overjoyed to attend. Not the least of them, Buck.

“This will be you soon,” he whispers to Dove as Karen cuts Mara’s cake. He kisses her cheek and she grins at him. He has his court date with the judge. He’s confident it’s going to happen. It doesn’t feel like a maybe anymore, or a hopefully. It feels like a soon. 

“What are you most excited for, Mara? Now that you’re adopted?” Athena asks her at one point during the party.

“Hmm,” Mara thinks. “Well, I’m really excited that I can write Mara Wilson on all my school assignments now. And all the teachers will know I’m Denny’s sister!”

“Careful,” Chim says, winking at Denny. “That might get you in trouble.”

“Hey!” Denny laughs. “No way!” 

It’s a sweet moment. A happy one. Buck doesn’t think too much more about it until later, on the drive home, when Dove brings it up again. 

“Dad?” She asks from the backseat, voice adopting that quiet little tone when she gets when she’s curious but nervous of her question. He thinks, at some point, someone must have shot her curiosity down in the past. He understands that feeling and he hates it for her. It’s getting better though.

“Yes?” He replies.

“When you adopt me, will I get to use your last name at school?” She asks. 

Buck smiles, pleased with the question.

“Absolutely,” he answers. “If that’s what you want to do.”

She has no attachment to Florek. He can’t imagine she’d want to keep it. If she wanted to, she could. But he’s absolutely changing Baby Girl Florek to a real name, the second he can. 

“Yes, please,” she says. “I want to.”

“Then you can,” he confirms. “We need to pick a middle name for you, too. You don’t have one.”

“What’s your middle name?” She asks.

“Phillip,” he answers. “It’s just my dad’s name. My parents weren’t feeling, uh, creative…. When I was born.”

“What will my middle name be?” She asks.

“I don’t know yet,” he admits. “We have to choose one that you like. And we’ll get rid of the Baby Girl part, too, okay? No one will ever call you that again.”

“So my whole name will be new?” She asks.

“Kind of, yeah,” he says. “You’ll be Dove Middle Name Buckley.”

She giggles. “My middle name can’t be Middle Name.” 

“I know,” he chuckles. “We’ll find something.” 

Dove thinks for a second. “Is Mara’s whole name going to be new, too?”

“No, honey,” he answers. “They’re just changing her last name to Wilson.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because Mara’s situation is a bit different,” Buck says. “She has a first and middle name that her birth parents picked and I think she wants to keep those.”

“But my birth parents didn’t pick anything for me,” Dove says quietly. 

Buck’s heart twists. 

“No, sweetie,” Buck answers. “But that’s because it was a hard situation, okay? Not because of anything about you.”

“Maybe…” She starts, then trails off. 

“Maybe what?” Buck asks. 

“Maybe you can pick a new one for me,” she says in a very tiny voice.

“A new… A new name?” Buck asks, not sure he’s following. 

“Mhm,” she confirms. 

“Like your middle name?” Buck asks. “You want me to pick it.”

“No,” she whispers. “The other one.”

“You want me to pick a new first name for you?” Buck asks.

“Can you do that?” 

Buck is a little thrown off. He doesn’t know what to think. He’s driving. He can’t exactly turn around and look at her. So he needs to process this without her facial expressions.

[utilitycaster]

I don't know how you feel about it, but I was extremely frustrated last night when I found out that break was called after around 3 hours. I just felt that at that point they should have just made it a Crown Keepers episode instead of promising that BH would be back and then them barely being in the episode. I don't know, I'm usually really go with the flow with CRs creative choices, but this was just a real big swing and a miss for me. I wish this had all just been its own episode

So here's my feelings:

My thoughts on EXU Prime, and later Kymal, were that I love the player characters and their relationships and much of the worldbuilding (notably all of Niirdal-Poc and the Qoniira Tetrarchy) and I liked many of Aabria's NPCs but there were some pretty big gaps left in "what the fuck is going on" that left me feeling as though I wouldn't mind seeing the characters again but I didn't feel strongly about continuing the story in-world, if that makes sense. The Aevilux reveal, for example, was sort of what the main plot of EXU Prime hinged upon (ie, that was Myr'atta Niselor's motivation; that was what the deal with Ted was) and so the fact that didn't come out for over 2.5 years irl after it ended meant I'd just kind of said "well, some weirdo from Syngorn really wanted to do shit to Opal for some reason related to her sister, who is also her patron, and we don't know why either of these things is the case, and I guess that's what happened" and made my peace with it. Similarly, I don't know what the Nameless Ones want, and never have (other than, at one point, the circlet of barbed vision, and I don't know why they want it). I made a joke that Myr'atta, Poska, and Otohan are all kind of the same and honestly that is the thing: if you don't know why a villain is doing something - even if the reason is "because I love to be evil and terrible!" it's hard to care, and if those are only villains, it's hard to be invested in the story about the heroes either, even if you like the heroes as characters.

When I say I like how this ended, I mean it - I think it could have gone only a few ways, but I like that Morrighan and Opal have both become divine champions, Morrighan willingly and Opal less so (this is yet another case of "the gods don't do take-backsies on oaths", but also, I do feel for Opal despite it all because of Aimee's excellent work throughout). I mentioned how I felt about the exact details of Cyrus's death but I don't mind that he's dead. Fy'ra was a highlight throughout, as she frequently is, and I think she was faced with two extremely unpleasant choices and made a fascinating decision. But I'd have preferred to see this as a flashback (see next paragraph) or like. Just decide what happened. If I'm being extremely honest a lot of my issues with the Crown Keepers portion is that it felt like there was a very specific desired ending (Opal's complete corruption and Cyrus's death); I also said at some point well before that you can only do so much with the Crown Keepers while Dariax is there because Matt does, even if he's turning his brain off to play our Charisma-only kinda short king, know all the cheat codes for the main campaign. It's kind of like why how, even if the DM will control an absent player during RP, they usually have another player control in combat.

I don't mind that the Bells Hells portion was short. I think the choice to break where they did makes sense given everything else that went on. But I think that, criticism of the actual Crown Keepers portion aside, while you might have lost some of your audience for a Crown Keepers-only episode on the main feed, you would have preserved the drama of FCG's death better and gotten people more excited for the Crown Keepers if you had essentially run things exactly as done here but then just cut the two episodes together, which, as a pre-taped medium, they can now do! Hindsight is again 20-20 but: Run the first half of 92 as is. Break and tape a full Crown Keepers episode. Return to Bells Hells and narrate the message back from Dorian saying he'll be there, play out the rest of Bells Hells in the camp dealing with FCG's death, and then have Dorian arrive at the very end of that episode and end the episode when the party asks him what's been going on with him, then reveal there will be a Crown Keepers episode. Air your full Crown Keepers episode as episode 93, and then return to the main campaign with 94. It would have been better balanced in terms of time, people who wanted the Crown Keepers to return would have gotten hyped up, and people who dislike them or are neutral would have at least known what to expect and frankly if they skip the episode that's their choice to make. Hell, since there were 2 weeks? Could have even been like "hey, we'll do a Crown Keepers Marathon on Twitch and Youtube on some random weekday" to build up some hype!

So overall my answer is that I agree this wasn't a great creative choice. I don't think this means they shouldn't take big swings! But some will be misses and this was, while not an entire miss for me, at best a walk.

[a-libra-writes]

Hello! Just wanted to request if you can do another Mordecai and Reader. Maybe like a part 3 lmao cause I'm kinda curious on how his relationship with reader will progress after Atlas's death and he joins the Marigold gang. Will he leave and watch over them from afar (basically murder anyone who does anything to them) cause he now feel even less deserving of their relationship? Or will they be like a double agent couple who pretends to join the marigold gang just to learn the truth of Atlas's death. Really just wanna see this murder cat double down on the protective instinct especially when the Savoys are involved. Like, I can see Mordecai practically growling at then lmao. Thank you!

Yes YES part 3.... I still keep thinking about this.... Continuation of Part 1 and Part 2, PLUS all the stuff surrounding Atlas' death and afterward.... GN reader, angst ahoy!

So, uh. cute things first, yes?

After years of this slow build-up and burn, and you two are finally Something Of an Item (tm), you might slip up and be a little physically close and affectionate in front of others. Mordecai will never talk about it, so anyone with suspicions would have to go to you with questions (and really, that's only Mitzi because she's been invested in this for a while). Because your partner is so private, it's probably best not to get into details. If he could blush he'd be burning red when Mitzi pats his shoulder and says she's so happy he found such a good person.

If you have a fur pattern that's aysmmetrical, or have odd-eyes, birth marks/beauty marks or just. Any really distinct appearance like that, sometimes Mordecai just stares. At first, years back, it was a stare of annoyance. Now that you're closer it's still intense, just, uh ... a different kind of intense. Unfortunately while most people have a cute doe-eyed look when looking at their partner, Mordecai's is consistently a little creepy. Oh well. He gets easily flustered when you look right back and stare him down, though.

He's never really celebrated his birthday, especially once he fled New York city. Once you figure it out, you won't make a big deal of it, but you do get him a nice meal and something practical he'd enjoy. A new pair of gloves, a nice plant, good quality shoes, something like that. It's a little present that he isn't sure how to react to at first. After doing it year after year, he finally accepts them with quiet appreciation and will do something similar for your birthday. His gifts are much the same, practical, well-made and simple. He prefers to leave them at your apartment rather than give them face to face.

When he gets into his wound up and irritated moods (probably something Viktor said), all you need to do is sit next to him and rub your face lightly against his, or just put your head on his shoulder to settle him down. Mordecai outright deflates, and struggles to hold onto that anger. You can only get away with this once you both are romantically attached and, seriously, you are the only one apart from maybe his sisters (who you probably don't even know about). This is a culmination of years of trust slowly building up; now he can finally start to show shreds of vulnerability.

(Tho if you purr on him he's going to get SO embarrassed he just shoots up and walks away and you flop back on the couch).

As much as you make him lose his composure, he's just as good as giving it back, though totally unaware of it. There's the rather intense staring as mention before, but Mordecai may also just grab your shoulders to keep you still as he adjusts some of your clothes. He's ... surprisingly strong when he wants to be. When you're both on a job with guns drawn, he has a habit of standing in front of you or jumping in front once trouble starts. When you're wounded he sits you right in front of him so he can bandage it up and do what he can and, yes, he will drag you to Elsa even though he's an absurdly difficult patient with her. She tells him as much.

(And he waits right by your side as you slowly wake up from the morphine).

Also ... if you're a lighter-haired cat, esp a long-haired one, he starts finding your hair all over his damn clothes and there is. Not enough lint brushes in the world. Love the mental image of him and Atlas having a discussion, when Atlas just reaches over and pulls off a long, lighter-colored hair off Mordecai's normally impeccable black coat.

Intimacy will still be tough; you almost have to walk him through it. He isn't ignorant of the mechanics, he just dislikes the whole ... business of it. Mordecai will do a little for your sake, and again, it's a lot of building up and easing him to be more comfortable with prolonged touching and intimacy. It's tough to say if this is easier depending on your gender, but regardless, he has to be the one whose more in control and setting the pace (even if you're encouraging him along). And of course, plenty of reassuring that you two can stop at any time.

(This has been stated many times before, but you are the exception. The thought of him being this close and vulnerable and intimate with anyone else makes him nauseous.)

Afterward he almost seems small and skittish in his tall body. Mordecai always has to shower and clean immediately, though it's no insult to you (and he doesn't mind if you join, though he gets very quite and embarrassed). He's just repulsed by filth and sweat in general; you know this, once he's washed up he's a lot more relaxed and even willing to cuddle for a while.

The first few times he had to remember the last time he'd been so close to someone, or even hugged them this long. The best he can remember is when he had to share a bed (more of a mattress) with his sisters when they first came to New York. Rose was still a baby and always cold, while Esther was scared of the noise of cars in the street and rats in the wall. The three kittens would pile up together and tremble until they fell asleep; sometimes their mother would join them, exhausted from work and cold herself. Even when they moved into a slightly less dilapidated apartment, his sisters would sleep in his bed during the frigid winters.

So it while it may surprise you that Mordecai is so close and clingy in his sleep, to him being that close is a very comforting warmth and sense of nostalgia. It's a toss-up with whose the big spoon. This is also one of the only times you'll hear him purr; it's quiet and only lasts a few minutes before he drifts off. Because he wakes up at the crack of dawn, you rarely get to see him sleeping unless you stay up after he falls asleep.

So ... moving onto the whole. Atlas business.

When it all goes down, well. He considered Viktor a good friend, and that friend ended up kneecapped so Mordecai wouldn't have to cross guns with him. An incentive to leave the life that was ruining them. Make no mistake, Mordecai would - while still bloody - warn you about leaving, too. He'd raise his gun at you, hoping the scare would be enough, knowing each second he does is actively tearing down the closest thing to a "other half" he had. His green eyes are cold and frighteing but mentally he is the one begging you to just listen to him and run. Don't make call his bluff, because he can't do it. The very closest he'd get is if you actually tried to stop him, or tried to talk him down, or took the gun - and the nerves would snap, and he'd give a warning shot. A piece of your ear is torn off, and there's a ringing in your head. It could've been your head; he's an excellent shot. He only missed because he wanted to.

It was a warning, but even that makes his hands shake. He's in disbelief that he did it. It was a sort of out of body experience when he shot Viktor, but for this he is vividly, painfully awake. Mordecai retreats from there, unable to make himself do anything else, hoping that's enough to destroy any shred of love you had.

If you stick around with Lackadaisy ...

Well. You and Viktor have a sort of ... awkward, unhealthy bond of being betrayed, with one of you having paid far more dearly than the other... though one could argue while he paid physically, you're paying in feeling like a piece of your heart was ripped out. You wouldn't be blamed for thinking he holds some resentment toward you, but that isn't the case at all. He feels sorry for you, and anger toward Moredcai for what he did to the two of you. There's still the resignation and guilt, but it's tinged with far more anger. Mitzi thanks god one of her best triggermen is still in good form, although - well, you're a little ... different than before. Your hearing still hasn't recovered from that shot, she knows, and the stitch-job wasn't ... the best.

The real problem is when - not if - you and Mordecai ever cross guns again. Mitzi is terrified of that inevitability, and to be fair, Mordecai does his utmost to avoid it. He wants no confrontation, not ever. If you two ever meet again, it's painfully obvious he wants to escape. For many nights, he thought you may hunt him down and shoot him - he'd deserve that much. As much as he's obsessed with the truth behind Atlus' death, if you chose to stop him dead in his tracks, wouldn't he deserve it?

If you left Lackadaisy, all the better. Mordecai may never hear from you again, and he tells himself that's for the best, even if there's a hole where his heart used to be. His mother, his sisters, you, Viktor, Mitzi, Atlas - he's failed many, many people. This is a new feeling, an emptiness, and that is what goads his frantic investigation on what truly happened to Atlas. It may be the only thing he has left.

Regardless if you stay or leave, Mordecai is more irritable and cold to those who knew him before ... though, considering he cut ties, that isn't many. He's a little thinner, and doesn't sleep as well. Asa Sweet couldn't tell the difference, and while the Savoy siblings can tell something isn't quite right, they don't know the history. They've heard stories and rumors, sure. Perhaps Serafine even hears a morsel of some former Lackadaisy gunman he was chummy with... it's all so intriguing. The first time she brought it up, he gave her such a venomous look that it only encouraged her curiosity.

Asa brought you up one time when talking with Mordecai, and holy shit he's never joking about that again. He broke into a sweat.

(Hell, even Mitzi tried to bring you up when she and Mordecai had that private conversation in her car. He shut her down so coldly, it frightened her.)

And yes, that means if you're still doing Lackadaisy operations with Rocky and Freckle, he has to hear about it. He's in the room when Asa gives the order to the Savoy siblings going after you, or worse, if Mordecai is brought onto the job. He makes it clear that he'll take care of you, and they can deal with the rest. Although it always seems like you're able to get away before it comes to that ...

If you two ever had to meet again for an extended period of time, yeah, the ... year of isolation and guilt and hurt (it feels like its been five years) is just palpable. Serafine and Niko quickly piece together that there was some serious history, more than they initially thought ...

Remember those silly photos Mitzi took, and she shared? Maybe you threw your's away, or lost them, but ... Mordecai keeps one in his wallet. If he anticipates trouble (as it always is with the goddamn Savoys), he moves it to his bedside for safekeeping. He's careful about preserving it. The corners are already starting to wear. There's fleeting thoughts of putting it in a picture frame, but - no, that'll just draw attention to it, and what right does he have to keep a photo of someone who hates him? When he thinks of you, he feels that picture burning a hole in his breastpocket. Any photos that have the two of you - even the blurry, distant ones Mitzi took while trying to get used to her camera- he blotted ink on himself, leaving only you there. Back when you had a smile.

Long story short, he's a mess. He's mentally frayed and physically he's not doing great; you're probably just the same. Mitzi worries about your health often, Rocky knows that some days he just shouldn't talk to you. Ivy remembers when she used to chatter away with Viktor, Mordecai and you, but she knows she can't bring those days up anymore. There may even be an odd wall between you two, whereas before you often spoiled and doted on the little Ivy.

There are probably moments in the past year where Mordecai just ... something gets ahold of him, and he goes out to where you live - if you left the city entirely, this would be difficult, but if you were still in St. Louis or stayed with the Little Daisy - he'd just stand out in the street where your home is, feeling incredibly creepy and exposed. Debating if he should write a letter, or leave something or - no, he shoots all those ideas down. He doesn't know if he stays a few minutes or an hour, but eventually the nerves get the better of him and he hurries away, feeling like a rat.

Well, you two were like peas in a pod for years ... it was a bond that neither of you had before, so it makes sense that just a year isn't enough to heal or repair much of it ...

[meili-sheep]

Hello, Kai, really interested in knowing the relationship of sumeru characters and diluc. Also, fontaine characters too (those who we know/already meet)

I think that Navia and Diluc have some stuff in common... I think

This is my first time asking you, so please ignore mistakes

Hello! Welcome! And don't worry about mistakes my brain has this really nice autocorrect feature called dyslexia so about 70% of the time I don't any grammar or spelling errors. But it back fires a lot. Kind of like regular autocorrect. ANY WAY. I would kind of love to talk about this.

SUMERU

Al Haitham

So I do enjoy shipping Diluc and Al Haitham because well they would just absolutely vibe together. Defiantly a lot of autism to autism communication. They are also both they type of people who can work or do separate activates right next to each other and come away saying they really like each other and the other is a good person.

Like their relationship could be them hardly speaking to each other but they just genuinely enjoy company and having someone understand on different level.

Candace

So I firmly think she (and Dehya for that matter) would look at Diluc and go "baby"

She's a protector and would in a small way equate Diluc to a little prince or knight. And I think if she learned about Diluc's family history she might feel a common ground there. And she'd defiantly pick up on how young, but accomplished he is. Just generally he'd kick in her protective instincts. SPECIALLY SINCE HE'D BE A VERY RESPECTFULLY GOOD BOY.

Cyno

Honestly I think Diluc would really enjoy Cyno's jokes. Not to the point where he'd laugh out loud but defiantly remark about how funny and clever it is. And Cyno just get the glint in his eyes that Collei and Tighnari fear.

I've also had them together in The Teyvat Detective Club Because they have strong senses of right and wrong with focuses on justice and retribution. So I kind of think out of everyone in Sumeru Diluc and Cyno would be the closest as friends.

Collei

So I believe Diluc know of Collie. Lisa does tell him about her progress and he's got a silent investment and pride. But he doesn't really think he need to introduce himself. She doesn't need to know that he cause the distraction and took the blame for her accident. But he's always extra gentle with her.

For Collei's part she probably is just amazed by Diluc and how gentle and calming his presence is. With Tighnari she's probably been told to be very careful with Pyro vision, but she doesn't see the Choatic side of Diluc. Diluc reminds her a lot of a camp fire, a warm relaxing. She probably see him as an exemplar of what Knights are supposed to be based off of what Amber has told her.

And I think if she learned about his involvement in helping her and who he too hate the fatui and has suffered at their hands. She'd cry.

Dehya

As a Claymore Pyro, (on standard) I think Dehya already feel a connection. And she would love swapping stories with him until she realizes how young he is.

And then she'd probably ask about how he keeps his skin looking so nice. He would shrug and just say he washes regularly.

Then it hits her

He's not even 25 yet he's barely 23.

Big sister mode kicks in and she picks him up toss him over her shoulder. This her now. her little brother and if anything happen to him she will kill everyone and then herself.

Dori

So these two are probably the ones most likely to have canon interaction. And Dori has absolutely tried to sell counterfeit dandelion wine.

And well.

Dori has probably the personally see Diluc's pretty close to bottomless assets. The ability to by like what was it 2000? fake Breath of Barbatos. Either way she sees him as someone she can't really cross without facing a lose in some way, and he's not one who she can trick. So she admires him in some way for how he's added to his family's wealthy but also in some was see him as a rival for having family wealthy and still being a good businessman.

Faruzan

Diluc actually calls her Madam and gives her the elder respect that she asks for. So she loves him and probably has tried to get him to become a student specially since I do think Diluc would have an interests in linguistics particularly in syphers and codes.

She probably would be his got to for such things relating to machines and langue. And honestly Diluc would personally fund her projects seeing that her lines and interests in blending fields of study could have long term good effects for everyone.

Kaveh

So I'm a big Kavehluc person.

And Kaveh would instantly see Diluc's beauty and just fall head over heels and just progressively get worst because he'd see Diluc on top of being beautiful is one of the gentlest and sweetest people he's every meet. Kaveh would admire him because he just gives himself and knows when to hold back with out feeling any of the guilt that Kaveh struggles with.

And even if you don't ship them I feel they would get along as Kaveh feels he could learn something from Diluc.

Layla

So Diluc's not an astrology person. But I feel he's treat Layla the same was he does Sucrose. He would be extra gentle and try to subtly build up Layla's confidences. Which would put him in high regards in "other" Layla's book.

If he meet them both he would tries his best to meet the real Layla which he thinks is some point in-between day and night time Layla.

Nahida

Not give a single shit she's an archon.

That's a baby.

And Diluc has a biiiiiiig soft spot for children. Defiantly respects her wisdom but defiantly is in big bro mode.

Nilou

RED HEADS.

But I get the feeling that Nilou is like Amber and that she has a "grump" translator. Meaning when Diluc says something that might come across as "Blunt" at best She instantly knows what he means. And she instantly knows how kind and sweet he is.

There defiantly is at small group of Nilou, Dehya, Diluc, and Candace all swapping skin, hair and general beauty tips.

Tighnari

So Tighnari is the Sumeru Rep of the Bully the Fatui Brigade. And I think Tighnari would eventually learn what Diluc did for Collie. So There is a lot of respect between them. And A lot of low key chaos

A little Less when Tighnari learns Diluc acutely like Cyno's Jokes.

Wanderer

I'm not really a fan. But I feel like Diluc wouldn't be intimated by Wanderer at all. And Wanderer would be super duper leery knowing about Diluc's past.

But Diluc doesn't remember Wander but Wander would be sort of curious about this side of the feared Fatui hunter. Defiantly would probably try to get one his good side for his own revenge related reason. Enemy of my enemy all that.

FONTAINE

Colrinde

So there isn't a lot info on her yet for me to make a call. But I feel they would have a generally positively sort of respectful relationship. Not a lot more tho.

Freminet

Into the kid collection he goes. He likes all his kids Diluc would be extremely gently and patient with Ferminet. Defiantly giving him claymore tips and probably even recommending he talk to Eula because there could be lines crossed between swimming and dancing that could be used to help him.

Diluc probably has a general soft spot for Cyro users just because of Keaya so ya know.

Furina

So consider she's just Fischl on steroids. Diluc would probably end up treating her like he does Fischl. Just gently playing into what makes her happy but also drawing clear lines when she's over stepping or about to overstep.

Diluc already has experience pulling in his archon, and given his own sense of justice I feel he and Furina would generally get along great up untill he wounds her pride, but he'd only every do it when she's being too much.

Neuvillette sings Diluc's praises for this.

Lynette

Just like with Al Haitham.

Autism to Autism communication.

Lynette would be totally see similarities between Diluc and Lyney as they are both brother would try and take all the burden away from their siblings and do everything they can protect them. So Lynette would look out for Diluc probably ends up giving Kaeya a care list for Diluc because I totally think she has one for how she takes care of Lyney when he's not looking. Not to her suprise Kaeya already has one.

Lyney

OK OK OK.

Lyney and Diluc are generally the more calm and collected end of the Pyro spectrum. But I get the feeling they both would just bring out their inner Chaos.

Like Yeah both Lyney and Lynette have heard about Diluc's Fatui Hunting. But I also think that Diluc would have tried to liberate House of Hearth and find better places for Kids. If not give them more supplies and more of a childhood. Because the he would learn of the House of Hearth and I think It's where Diluc would start to waiver on his conviction which would lead to him seeing how his method wasn't working.

So despite being Fatui Diluc would still treat them well and I feel he'd love Lyney's stage magic and learning all the tricks. It would be a puzzle game between them Lyney performs a trick and Diluc tries to figure out how he did it.

Navia

So Navia I feel could probably be the best candidate to be add to the detective club.

And there would be a lot of trauma bonding with her and Diluc over losing their father before taking up their mantles. So again I feel Diluc would provide funding to Spina di Rosula specially since the info they gain could be usfull to the Detective club or Diluc's underground organization.

Navia might even be an apprentice to Diluc but I acutely sort of get the vibe that she's older, but she's still have a lot of respect for his experience and general attitude. while he admires her passion for doing what is right and seeking the truth against all odds.

Neuvillette

So I've already seen art of Diluc and Neuvillette together and they are like super cute and chill vibes.

Like I don't have the best grip on Neuvillette yet but I feel like he and Diluc would get along in that they generally are pretty vibing but at the same time Neuvillette could learn a lot form Diluc as Diluc's passion for justice as well as being a generally passionate person would give Neuvillette a lot more perspective while not overwhelming him.

But also that leak about the Dark knight hero line. It would add a lot of spicy and also questions to the realtionship

Sigewinne

New daughter.

That's all I got mostly because see below.

Wriothesley

Look man this is gonna be my new addition to the Diluc Harem. Like I just get the gay Jane Austin Vibes from these two. Like if you want regency romance Wrioluc will be your thing. But that's just the vibe I'm picking up right now. I am super excited to learn more.

[phocidine]

I feel like there’s a disconnect between what fans frustrated with Bad’s character want for consquences and what Bad’s fans consider consquences.

(Explanation below)

Bad was self-harming via modded minecraft bird and having concerning lapses of memory and getting hit in the kneecaps every 2 seconds by purgatory and mourning over his children. And now he’s lost his memory and is either dying from a nuke blast or recovering from dying.

So he’s a character that does some shitty stuff, but he’s also kind of rotting away where he stands, so it balances out right? Why do other fans want him to hurt more? How could he even possibly hurt more than he’s already hurting?

This is what a lot of protective Bad fans believe, but it’s not at all what other fans are talking about.

When I say consequences, I don’t mean the consequences of letting himself be vulture food or the consequences of just…existing in purgatory. These are painful but they have nothing to do with his actions towards others, which are the actions that myself and I suspect a lot of other BBH fatigued fans care about. Does everyone remember that whole ordeal where Bad got interrogated by Tubbo about Ron? Bad would be eaten by soul vultures whether he tortured Ron or not, but Tubbo beefing with him only happened because of what he did to Ron. THAT is a consequence.

And yeah, I do think Bad deserves consequences. Not for stupid shit like furniture stealing, and not for anything that happened in purgatory because I couldn’t watch most of purgatory and I would rather slam my head into a wall than talk about purgatory discourse again, but for the cold and calculating way he treated all of his friends for his big scheme after the Acceptance stream onwards.

I’m going to guess from the fact that this behavior started at the same time as Bad’s rapid mental health decline that we as an audience are not supposed to consider Bad treating everyone around him like ends to the means of his mysterious plan as a good thing, or a neutral character trait.

It might be easy to brush off Bad’s behavior as just angst not really worth remembering, but…I was invested in Baghera’s backstory and how it intertwined with the Ron storyline. I was invested in her and Bad’s friendship. I don’t want to just brush off the fact that Baghera drug herself through the mud to protect Bad and he ignored her in return. Situations like this have happened several times. Bad acts like an asshole to people he cares about because he has a one track mind to save the eggs, and then anyone who would like to see the pain or indignity he caused those other characters have some kind of follow up just don’t get it.

I’ve heard some confusion over why people want consequences from Bad when other characters have done way worse, but the thing is those characters DO get consequences.

Cellbit can’t embrace his cannibal persona and be friends with Pac at the same time. He’s messing up his relationship with his sister. He’s pitting Fit and Bagi against him because they care about the two people he has hurt. The Feds are looking for the worker killer right now and who knows what they plan to do to him. Cellbit does shitty things, and whether not you think he’s justified in any of it, he is suffering as a DIRECT consequence.

Slimecicle didn’t go on a murder spree against the eggs and then everyone just moved on and forgot about it. He was crying and screaming about Flippa throughout the entire thing, and at the end of the stream he has a very sincere “what am I doing?” moment and admits to himself that she’s gone and he needs to accept it. He showed regret, and then he went down and apologized to everyone and said it wouldn’t happen again (although admittedly he did treat the apology part like a bit). This example is kind of shaky because killing eggs was still less of a huge deal back then, but I still wanted to bring it up because consequences don’t always have to be punishments, they can be moments of humility and regret, too. Bad is in despair because of the missing eggs, but it would be nice to see him have some despair over how disconnected he might feel to his loved ones specifically because of the effects of his downward spiral. Or to have him show some regret for how he acted, whether he ends up apologizing or not. I doubt this will happen, it doesn’t really seem like ccBad’s style, but it is an option.

The eggs are back now so Bad will probably go back to being a slightly obnoxious babysitter with trust issues and the frustration of him being able to throw people under the bus for his own needs and getting away with it constantly will hopefully fade away. I do like Bad’s character after all, I just also like the characters that interact with him and feel like they deserve better in the narrative.

[corpse-water]

Can we get Vesser Zol's entire backstory/personality? As a treat?

don't mind if i do...

vesser and tivea zol are twins born into middle class corpus life. their parents hadn't really expected twins and, seeing children more as an investment rather than people, kind of set them up against each other? vesser and tivea were never very well socialized as their parents didn't see much of a point in that and they also really weren't allowed to build up any kind of sibling relationship. so they grew up more or less seeing each other as enemies. vesser leaned into robotics as a source of companionship and tivea leaned into ships and ship manufacturing for the same reason (she loves ship cephalons).

more under the cut because this gets long.

(here they are.)

as vesser got older, he found that he was very good at fraudulent business deals. deals that could often leave his competitors financially crippled or, worse, shelved. and vesser tended to prefer shelved or Permanently Indebted because, hey, less competition for him. vesser was, for a lot of his history, kind of a shitty guy! in fact he didn't really care about people for a lot of the time unless it gave him a one up over someone else. and this is how he takes his sister out of the running, basically. signs a couple bad deals under her name and winds up getting her pretty much kicked out of their family home and sent to work at corpus dry docks for the rest of her life.

with what vesser sees as his main competition basically taken out of the game, he continues to make huge waves in corpus business. he's a market hawk. he's mean, cruel, and just general a real asshole of a guy. on his way up in the ranks, he makes a lot of enemies and doesn't think to rub elbows with anyone. it's here, with a lot of people plotting underneath of him, he meets kurtzel.

kurtzel (any pronouns) is a corpus spy who works part time as a hired service. vesser likes them immediately because kurt is very open and considerably nicer and more affectionate than other corpus. but while kurt and vesser know each other, they're gathering information on him. because, you know, he's an active threat to a lot of people. but they start feeling increasingly bad about it because vesser is Like That mostly because of corpus dogma and all that. so they keep withholding the info they've gathered on him until they're blackmailed into giving it over.

^ the face of a man about to be shelved.

vesser zol is arrested and put in jail while his business partners figure out what exactly to do with him. vesser has a big problem where he cannot, under any circumstances, Shut The Fuck Up and winds up digging himself into a much bigger hole. so, his business partners decide to do something much worse to him and partially shelve him. it's cost effective! they don't need a whole cell for him anymore. they can just repossess his arms and legs and store him in a box. hook him up for processing power.

he spends some time in there. ruminating. until one day the corpus prison gets raided by a team of steel meridian grineer. they pop open the box thinking it's ammunition and instead they find the Most Miserable Man Alive in this box. they grab him and steal him away to their base on earth where vesser is given mechanical arms and legs.

unbeknownst to vesser, the man who keeps visiting him and looking over him is this particular team's tenno buddy, arrioe. he's Pink Rhino. written by @tenuit (these guys fall in love)

(yes those are ayatan earrings).

vesser is... a Huge Asshole to the grineer team that rescued him. in part because he doesn't think they can understand him and in part because he's just like that. he needs to be sat down and told that they Do, in fact, Understand Him and everyone kind of thinks he's an asshole. which makes him feel bad enough that he apologizes.

vesser starts helping steel meridian after some time recovering and takes direction under captain bahj, the team's leader. vesser is their tech guy and builds them ospreys and moa in order to help around on base as well as out in the field.

vesser and captain bahj (bahj is also written by tenuit) talking MAD shit.

it's at this point that the corpus decide to save face with this particular little man and tell vesser's remaining family members that he's dead. his parents hold a funeral for him (where they basically sell all of his old stuff and robots) and tivea is... weirdly devastated. but as that post implies, they eventually run into each other again. things are different now and tivea has her own list of connections and all including her cephalon buddy, hypnon (written by @crowtatoes ). they're actually able to have a sibling relationship with each other now but there's a lot of like negative feelings they still have towards each other after their childhood and all.

they find that they also have another sibling, eventually. half sibling but he's the result of their father's affair with neighbors when they were both still very, very young. his name is enax (also tenuit's) and he's very very very into orokin technology. mostly for the biomedical field.

their relationship with him is also very complicated and fraught with... not so great feelings.

REGARDLESS, vesser zol eventually is a good guy but he's never particularly nice. he's poorly socialized and has the tendency to say the quiet part out loud. he has this uncomfortable tendency to say something really hurtful without thinking about it? and then cringe at himself when he tries to make up for it. he never has an easy time or relationship with his family and his siblings and even his other personal relationships are complicated further by his inability to communicate sometimes.

he tries very, very hard but he will never really make up for the things that he did in his past. even though the people around him tell him that he didn't deserve to have Box Time as a punishment for the things that he did, he still feels like maybe... that might have been the right choice. he doesn't know if he would have stopped otherwise or would have chosen to stop on his own since it was benefitting him.

he's an asshole but he has the tendency to be very charming and funny. he's the kind of person to kind of act like a dick but go out of his way to do something very nice for someone else just because he can and he's able to. he just really has difficulty talking with people and making those connections with other people but by god he is doing his best.

also he's trans.

that's vesser zol!

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Other Side of Disappearing by Kate Clayborn

4.25/5. Releases 3/26/24.

Vibes: true crime podcasts (critical), soft hero/hard heroine, complicated families, and dropping those defenses even when it's hard

Heat Index: 6/10

Ten years ago, Jess and Tegan's mother disappeared--with her con artist boyfriend Lynton Baltimore, made famous by a popular podcast. Now, the podcast's creator is on their doorstep with her protegee, Adam. They want to find Lynton; and Jess and Tegan could be their key. The last thing Jess wants to do after raising her sister on her own is go down this rabbit hole. But if Tegan is going, so is she; and as they unravel their mother's secrets, Jess finds herself more exposed than she's ever been before... and, even more horrifyingly, opening up to Adam (and his massive shoulders, perfect for crying into).

I was a little worried by the premise of this book. Don't get me wrong, it's a great idea--but was it going to be women's fiction? The answer: nope! This is a great example of how to write a book that has a big plot, and has well-developed characters beyond the two leads... while still being a romance. That's something that used to be way more of a norm, but I've noticed lately that it seems to have become all or nothing. You're either all focus on the leads, no plot and paper-thin supporting characters, or the romance gets crumpled up and it's women's fiction. (Which is fine! Women's fiction is fine! It's just generally not my thing.)

Trust Kate Clayborn to give you all the feelings about EVERYONE involved, along with a thought-provoking and twisty-turny concept, while never sacrificing the strength of the love story. I was so invested in Adam, a truly good dude who isn't without his own sore spots, slowly worming his way into Jess's heart. And Jess is simply a great heroine--wounded and tough and a bit angry but also desperately holding it together for the sister she's raised. I loved watching them fall in love. In fact, this is probably my favorite Kate Clayborn book so far.

Quick Takes:

--I am very vocal about finding a lot of good guy heroes boring, and that is because "good" often seems to translate into "perfect" or "completely toothless". Adam is a great example of how to write a good guy hero correctly. Kate Clayborn generally knows how to write about good people who aren't perfect and are compelling.

Here, Adam is essentially a gentle giant with great intentions in the long term... Who still compromises his morals initially. (Not for long! and I would say that she could've pushed him to compromise those morals for a bit longer, but I get it.) And he doesn't always handle everything perfectly, and he's not always smooth, and he's interesting and hot and kind of the boyfriend I feel is ideal without being PERFECT.

Also: his ears go pink when he's embarrassed, and he is definitely a bit embarrassed about his Bigness. Like, he's always bumping into shit because he's so Big, and that's embarrassing, you guys!!! This is. So important to me.

--I'm so into the Eldest Daughter Syndrome Stuff, as an eldest daughter. Jess and Tegan's relationship is so great, sitting in that space between parent and sibling, and at a really awkward point (as Tegan just turned eighteen). I found Jess deeply relatable, and her prickliness makes perfect sense... while still getting in her way.

Honestly, Jess's character growth is the type of thing I don't think heroines are allowed to do enough? It's introspective and difficult, and I absolutely loved where we ended up.

--There's a supporting character, original podcast creator/Adam's mentor Salem, who went in some really different directions. I kind of loved having a character who was like... not malevolent, but not wholly good, too? Who was selfish, and not an ideal parent, and a LADY?

In general, the commentary on true crime fandom stuff and podcasting is so good. I think we've definitely reached this point where true crime podcasts have really dipped heavily into exploitation. Of course there are good ones! But let us be real. I loved the way that she confronted this being both a story and Jess and Tegan's lives. And, in addition, how knowing that early on conflicts with Adam's sense of morality.

--As a random note... I've noticed recently that a lot of romance novels, even those by people I so love, have parents do some really shitty stuff, and then shove in this reconciliation with their kids at the end. I think this has to do with the need for an HEA. But like. You can have an HEA that involves acknowledging that your parent is shitty and doesn't deserve forgiveness. Trust.

All I'll say is that I really loved how Clayborn handled the parent stuff in this book.

The Sex:

Kate Clayborn always leans more towards the romantic than the explicit in her sex scenes, though they are open door. There are a few scenes in this book, and they're reeeeally sensual. I loved the way she wrote the dialogue during sex scenes, and like, the sexiness of Jess and Adam sneaking around on this road trip with her teenage sister right there. Ooh, it was hot.

Insightful, romantic, and challenging in some ways, The Other Side of Disappearing really impressed me. I already liked Kate Clayborn, and this only made me more excited about her future work.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kensington for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[agonycrossbow]

HELLO THE LEON DAD HEADCANONS ???? The only realistic ones I’ve seen, he would be such a shit dad oh my god

Which makes me wonder. You have any Chris headcanons in similar way? Chris is literally a military dude through and through, always thought he’d be a military dad type also. also thoughts about how that affected Claire? They’re orphans with a big-ish age gap so I always (assumed) he played a big part raising her as well.

Chris is hard when it comes to stuff like this, because like... we know that Rose hates him. But we never get to actually see their dynamic, so it's really hard to say what's going on there. So I try not to think too much about current-canon Chris. I just feel like we're missing a lot of information right now.

But on the other hand, we do know that Claire felt really dependent on him emotionally in CVX. They have a very... anime sibling relationship in that game LMAO

We're never told when, exactly, the Redfield parents died, but considering their age gap and the fact that Chris was in the Air Force, I kind of feel like their parents died while he was already serving his tour of duty? Because there's no way that an 18-year-old Chris would enlist and leave his 12-year-old sister to just fend for herself. And if he'd waited until she was at least 16 to enlist, that would've made him 22, and that feels like it's cutting it way too close to make sense with the timeline of RE1.

So, my headcanon is that the Redfield parents did, indeed, die while Chris was in the Air Force, and so he got himself dishonorably discharged on purpose in order to go take care of Claire. Like, RE5 says it was due to "disagreements with his superiors" but like

lmao

That's so vague.

And the conversation they have during the ending of CVX is so fucking weird, because like... Claire is clearly dependent on him ("Please don't leave me alone again") but he literally tells her NOPE I GOTTA GO FIGHT UMBRELLA

So I feel like Chris would be one of those dads who's fiercely overprotective (god help whoever tried to take Claire to prom) but is also just a massive flake. And he doesn't even mean to be or realizes that he's doing it. Like, when he's around, he's really protective and invested. But he just like. Disappears for stretches of time without really telling anyone. And then comes back and is like "yeah I was on a mission lol"

Basically, Chris's kids will have daddy issues, and he's going to have no fucking idea why.

[venusiancarbondioxide]

11 and 18

hi, i COMPLETELY FORGOT THIS WAS IN MY INBOX but these questions are fun, so enjoy a late answer!

link to the questions, in case anyone wants more fun answers

11. what do you consider to be romance?

a tough one right out of the gate! it's hard to define a concept that's so nebulous and dependent on context; the easiest answer is just "i know it when i see it." and that's very much the case, but the pattern in what i see as romantic is intentionality. someone deciding, "yes, i actively want to be with you and am willing to do xyz to make our relationship better/make your life easier/just to let you know that i love you," just hits me. videos of proposals have me going insane every time. i sometimes think the most romantic thing in the world would be someone cooking dinner when i've had a long day and don't want to do it. feeling is important, of course, a necessary ingredient (i wouldn't want anyone doing all of that out of obligation), but someone else's feelings can only be understood through action (i'm including speaking and writing as actions here). and someone taking clear, decisive action towards the goal of "i want to be with you?" that's what's up, especially since a lot of the modern dating scene seems very opposed to that. it's all situationships and pretending not to be invested and bullshit that i think is very anti-romance in general.

18. do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

i definitely believe in aliens in the sense that there is life that's not human out in the universe; the universe is simply too big for that not to be the case. do i think that aliens are little green men in ufos? definitely not. whatever aliens are out there are probably a few different types of moss on a planet so far away that we can't even see it yet. and i love that moss! yay, aliens! i don't think we'll find them in my lifetime, unfortunately, but maybe i'll have a great-great-great granddaughter who finds a space moss one day. as for ghosts, i logically don't believe in them, but i am superstitious about them. there are things i wouldn't do because on the off chance that ghosts are real, it would get you so fucking haunted; for example, this video i saw of a woman who threw the ashes of her sister-in-law's dead baby out of a window because she was mad at her. on the off chance that ghosts are real, that woman is going to be followed by that baby ghost for the rest of her life, and along with that being a shitty and mean trick, who would want to risk a haunting? any kind of disrespect to grave sites, dead bodies, and that kind of thing really makes me think that a ghost is going to come out and get somebody; my first thought is always, "oh, whoever does that is so going to get haunted." i also think places where terrible things have happened are haunted, but not in the traditional ghost sense. i think the knowledge weighs on the human heart in a way that makes people act differently in haunted spots, and that causes all kinds of nonsense. i also believe that thinking there a ghosts in a certain spot makes people more liable to see things there. fun fact, i actually have a co-worker who does ghost-hunting in his off time and has a whole bunch of equipment and it's all very cool, i love hearing about his ghost adventures, but i personally am not sure it's real. i'd have to see a ghost to 100% believe, and even though i've been to a few places that are rumored to be haunted, i haven't seen shit.

[afictionalwhor3]

can you please write some lo’ak relationship headcanons 🥺

Hi Anonymous,

So I am a Neteyam girlie for life so I had to include him, but otherwise I hope you liked it. I kind of focused more on how the two of them showed off for their girls (their rizz lol). Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 872

Warnings: An innuendo thrown in there

NETEYAM:

I feel like Neteyam has unspoken rizz.

He can be cheeky when he wants to like when he hits your butt when he thinks no one is watching.

Or how he pulls (playfully) at your tail when you won’t speak to him because he knows you’ll end up yelling and this man thinks it’s so hot to see you angry.

But for the most part, especially when he was first trying to get you, he would try to subtly show off for you.

Beating his brother and friends in Ikran races, being the one to secure the big game during the hunt, carrying far too many baskets than he could handle.

His favorite was when he would get “hurt” during hunting or training exercises with his father and brother.

“Come on bro you let me get that” Lo’ak would say after he manages to cut Neteyam’s arm.

“Damn little bro you must be getting better. Looks like I’ll have to see Y/N to get this cleared up.” Neteyam says already making his way to your mauri.

“You know your mother or grandmother could do just the same job?” His father asks with a knowing smirk making Neteyam stop in his tracks.

“Yeah but Y/N has come up with some new techniques that I think are better suited to take care of my injuries” He says and quickly walks off as to not be questioned any further as he hears the laughs of his father and brother in the back.

When he gets to your mauri you are weaving a basket presumably for when you take Kiri with you to gather the herbs and other stuff you needed.

When you hear him walk you give him an exasperated look “Really Nete?” You would ask because somehow you could sense when he was coming to you with an “injury”.

Neteyam would just shrug with a smirk on his face.

“What?! Lo’ak’s starting to get really good at fighting” He says laying right next to where you keep all your materials. You come over to him grabbing a jar of premade paste to apply to the small wound. You took some on your fingers and applied it a little harsher than normal. Neteyam would hiss, his fangs showing slightly.

“Don’t give me that. You’re the one who let your brother cut you so a woman could touch you.”

“Not just any woman. My future Tshahik” He would say making you smile and look away from him.

Okay maybe he had a little bit of spoken rizz.

LO’AK:

Now Lo’ak is almost the complete opposite.

He is his FATHER’S SON. I know this boy is so fricking cheeky.

“Lo’ak for the last time I told you that you can’t touch that.” You tell him grabbing the jar out of his hands.

“You weren’t saying that last night” He mumbled causing you to swat him with your tail and his older brother and sister to stifle laughs.

Even if it was corny he loved to see the smile it brought to your face.

You lay cuddled into his side on an open patch of forest with a clear view of the sky.

“Y’know who the prettiest girl on Pandora is?” He would ask and you roll your eyes cursing under your breath.

“If you say me I swear I’m going to take your tongue.”

“Fine then I won’t say it.” He says which makes you let out an involuntary laugh and a proud smile rest on his face.

When he couldn’t talk to you he would try to show off which would sometimes end up with him making somewhat of a fool of himself.

Like when he tried this cool landing off his Ikran and ended falling off and onto his face.

Once you made sure he was okay you had the wipe tears from your eyes at how hard you were laughing.

Lo’ak allowed his pride at falling to be pushed to the side as he listened to your beautiful laugh.

He also loved showing you the cool knife tricks his dad or brother had shone him.

No matter what it was he was showing you, he loved how you were always 100% invested because it sometimes felt like his family wasn’t.

And occasionally he would make you gifts, with the help of his mother, his favorite was the necklace he gave you. You’ve worn it since he gave it to you, even touching it in moments you were anxious.

He used a piece of dead wood he found to make beads with both your initials etched on them.

“I can’t believe you still wear that” Lo’ak says somewhat casually trying not to show how much it really meant to him. The two of you were currently hand and hand as you made your way through the forest.

“Why wouldn’t I? The love of my life made it for me” You say and finally it’s Lo’ak’s turn to be speechless. You had a little bit of rizz of your own.

[vigilskeep]

invested in keir and merrill now.. why did they end up breaking up?

ah basically keir had the Act Break Breakdown™️, which is what i call the period where he was pretty out of it for like a year after the deep roads expedition. bethany getting taken to the circle really did a number on him and he hadn’t slowed down and taken in carver’s death since lothering either so it all pretty much hits him like a train. he doesn’t cope well with moving to hightown; he was hoping to convince his family to go back to ferelden after the expedition and now he can’t leave kirkwall bc bethany’s in the gallows and all he has is the big house his sister wanted and no sister

anyway he spends a lot of time out on the wounded coast taking jobs for meeran and the like and going home as little as he can. this is when he becomes a reaver as well. he doesn’t talk to most of the party (except varric, who he was barely friends with before but who makes the most effort to stay in contact bc he feels like keir is kind of his responsibility because of convincing him abt the expedition and bartrand). keir’s generally not great to be around in that time—he struggles with that at the best of times—and he’s not in a fit state to be in a relationship with anyone without working through All That and he knows it. so ultimately he and merrill call it off

they weren’t together for long and i don’t think either of them had long-term plans; like i said, keir wanted to go back to ferelden, although she would have been welcome to come with in that theoretical timeline if she wasn’t particularly attached to kirkwall. as a breakup it was mutual and pretty like amicable but obviously upsetting for both of them when they keep losing people. they build friendship up again pretty fast once keir has his head together and comes back, bc they like get each other’s methods of communication and they missed the trust they have in each other so much. i think partly because of that, they have to accept as a baseline that they’ve moved past where they were and can’t go back, if that makes sense

[guardian-rocket]

/// Dropping down some headcanons to how I portray Rocket as far as romantic preferences and history, for clarity's sake. ///

///At default I write Rocket as asexual and demiromantic but as vaguely aromantic fronting. He's hard to get any truth out on how he might be romantically inclined because he hates to feel vulnerable. He'd rather keep everyone at an arm's length than deal with the possibility of any rejection because even if he caught feelings he's content with just being friends.

With Lylla I kinda see that they were more along the lines of close friends with love between them, but not so much romantic as it was more like family adoration. I see her almost like a big sister to him, I think more may have been possible to develop between them as they grew and matured but they weren't in any environment or age for that to be any priority. When she passed she was the most important person in his life, she was the first to show him kindness and concern, and losing her was the catalyst of his bitterness and hurt.

His next major canon relationship was (elder)Groot and I think there is enough implication these two had a very close and loving relationship. Again Rocket kept him at an arm's length but Groot was Rocket's protector and only real friend. They were never official in any sort of relationship but as odd as it was I think they were capable of it, but Rocket held back due to his own issues. He'd never call Groot his 'boyfriend' but he probably called him his partner and let people's mind wander. They were together in some sorta unspoken thing-- 'but not really like that' if it makes sense. They'd have cute borderline romantic moments when Groot was alive and Rocket trusted him wholeheartedly and he was the first person Rocket felt that way with since leaving Halfworld. Rocket also feels he took him too much for granted after he dies. SO... tldr they weren't technically a couple but Rocket sorta comes to terms with that he loved him after he loses him, which is why he is so protective of little Groot later, taking the role of his adopted dad, as he is the son born from his Elder Groot and himself as the one who planted him.

Those are the only two relationships that I will say I consistently abide by as far as how he felt any romantic connections with and both were based on long term trust, and neither went anywhere so he lacks confidence to pursue things with anyone he'd potentially be interested in. Taking in account the constant exposure to things that lowers his confidence in his personhood, he's just striving for basic friendship and understanding more than anything but that doesn't slam the door on possibilities of a real romantic relationship for him.

For him, gender and species is irrelevant, and to some extent appearance would be as well. In comics Rocket is shown to be canonly open to romantic pursuits to both humanoids and has had plenty of het and gay coded moments. He's more invested on the spirit of a relationship more than physical, so nothing is really out of the realm of possibility for him so long they are sentient. He'd basically say, "look at me, who am I to judge?" but also I will say if they take no pride or effort in themself as far as just letting themself go or not having basic hygiene down he's not going to be interested, as laziness is a turn off for him.

In the verse where he is interested in someone and it were to develop into a real bonified romantic relationship the first step would be either he is so affirmed in his feelings for them he eventually takes his shot -- or the much more likely approach where he finds out they feel the same about him, or at least like him. He would be in very unfamiliar territory and he'd be clumsy navigating through it for awhile.

His interest in romantic pursuits is vague at best, and while he may joke about it he'd never vent about any disappointment in his lack of it. He's said before that he's 'perpetually single' as in, he can never not be single, but this is more just him accepting his fate that he sees for himself. For a relationship to evolve someone would need to put a wrench in that clockwork of his mind.

As far as what he really would crave (as far as my pg13 blog allows) he could potentially cuddle, kiss and do domestic routines, go on dates, and give them words of affirmation and he'd be content because just that much would make him feel very loved. Physical stuff is not really the important part to him. In a relationship Rocket would be very doting in his own way. He might still tease or lightly mock them but the tone would be more playful and less harsh. He'd also probably want to keep it more on the downlow for awhile at least until he trusts it's gonna be more than a short term fling. For him it would also be important that he is seeing his affection reciprocated so he doesn't feel annoying or like he's simping, as if he gets any indication they're losing interest he'd instinctively reel back too. He's a bit insecure and craves confirmation.

If he were to get more confident and comfortable in a relationship I think he'd manage to make a decent partner who would work equally hard to lift them up be a good emotional support and make sure he's doing lots of little things to show how much he cares about them. He'd also be the type to at least put an effort in to change any behaviors they may not like, ie: if they didn't like him teasing them about something, he'd never mention it again, if they got annoyed he never did the dishes, he'd be making sure he helps from then on.

He's not perfect though and can have issues with jealousy.

Short disclaimer: this isn't in response to anything I just felt like writing thoughts out on it for once and this is based solely on how I view the character and I am not really looking for any sort of feedback in how I should do any of it differently because I use canons from a lot of different mediums that exist and he's a combination of multiple versions even though I adhere to mostly the MCU canon. ///