#i apologize if i'm annoying lol

[mjj-nostalgia]

Do not forget I have an MJ related discord serverrrrrrr...!

It is dead at the moment and I'd love to have some new members to get chatty in there if you'd like. Let me know if you're interested, please! I shall give you the link

See you there?

-T

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

inside you (me) there are two wolves. one couldn't be happier about gayer yellowjackets a new survivor and gay hilary swank i guess??? yay <33. the other one.... never really liked that they added new girls and now they're important... sorry 😬

[hephaestuscrew]

It's so important to me that Minkowski and Eiffel and Hera spend December 25th together to celebrate Eiffel's birthday post-canon. And the hope that they spend that day together is a sentiment shared by Gabriel Urbina.

But Minkowski canonically cares about Christmas itself. Minkowski has people in her life whom she could spend Christmas with. And so there will probably have to be a difficult conversation at some point after the Hephaestus crew return to Earth, when someone says how good it will be to have Renée there for Christmas Day again. And Minkowski will have to look at her husband, or her relatives, or her in-laws - people who loved her and mourned her and celebrated upon her return from the dead - and she'll have to tell them that she won't be there on Christmas Day. And if the person who asks knows her at all, they'll see the look on her face and know that there's no negotiating to be done here.

It's not exactly that she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas with the people she used to celebrate Christmas with. But she can do that on any day near the end of December. Spending December 25th with Eiffel and Hera is something she absolutely cannot compromise on. 

The main reason she'd give for this is that December 25th is Eiffel's birthday. Whether or not it matters to him as much as it used to, Minkowski wants Eiffel's birthday to get the recognition it deserves, because it was so important to him and he never expected anyone else to care or remember.

A second reason - one she might never speak aloud - is that she's always thought that Christmas is a time for family, and nowadays that means that spending it with Eiffel and Hera feels right to her.

But I think there's a third, perhaps equally important, reason underneath those two. Maybe she doesn't admit it to herself consciously, but I think part of Minkowski believes that the only people who can really understand the complicated way she now feels about December 25th are the two people who were there with her when everything went to hell on Christmas Day.

It was December 25th when they realised they'd made contact with aliens, and when Hilbert locked Minkowski outside the airlock and tried to incapacitate Eiffel and tore out Hera's personality hardware, and when everything Minkowski had thought she knew about the Hephaestus mission fell apart.

How can she exchange gifts with people for whom it isn't the anniversary of the one of the worst days of their life? How can she gather round a Christmas tree with people who've never feared for their lives at the hands of Alexander Hilbert and Goddard Futuristics? How can she eat turkey and trimmings with people who weren't there when the Christmas dinner was never eaten because there was a murderous mutiny from one of the intended guests? How can she spend December 25th with people for whom it's never been a day of betrayal and fear and loss and uncertainty eight lightyears away from Earth?

Eiffel doesn't remember that awful Christmas and that brings its own kind of pain for Minkowski. But he was there, and so was Hera, and so (no matter what anyone else expects) Minkowski needs to be with them on that complicated day.

[ceramicbeetle]

the thing is, you’re absolutely right! because what neurotypical people sometimes don’t understand is the massive difference between the average level of social interaction that they themselves vs other people get outside of organized or scheduled events like work or school, and also don’t understand the massive difference between what failure looks like, and how those two things overlap. i’m told that among the average neurotypical person, they’ll make a point to talk to people in their lives or hang out with friends or go on dates or chat with other people in public spaces, al to have casual interactions, multiple times a day, multiple days a week. meaning, if they have a failed social interaction, it’s buffered by the many successful interactions they’ll go on to have. failure most likely won’t mean complete isolation, because they have multiple avenues of interaction to fall back on. and, moreover, a failure in a social interaction when you have (on average) fewer than most means that now rather than that person going “oh that was a weird interaction, i talk to them a lot and it’s not usually like that, maybe it was an off day” they go “huh i don’t know that person very well maybe they’re just like that?”, which means that the odds are way different on whether relationships stay good after mistakes.

social skills are not actually as inherent as neurotypical people like to think. it’s just that when you’re always in practice, always getting back on the proverbial horse, the advice “just get back out there!” does actually work very well. but if you’re not able to do that for any variety of reasons, you can’t play the game the same way. my advice is not “try harder”, it’s “lower your expectations for yourself on what a good interaction and a moment of connection might be”. just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions. remind yourself that you’re working with fewer resources and a much more limited data pool. a lot of the advice being given is coming from someone who assumes they understand what the math looks like for you, because it’s very difficult to imagine that other side. so instead of trying to overlay a system made for someone who has resources that you just don’t have, you need to figure out what a functional system of interaction looks like for you, and adapt the advice given to fit your situation. my advice, bearing that in mind, is that finding communities and groups can look like a lot of different things, and getting your social needs met can come from a lot of sources, and ideally should! you would understand best what your situation is, and there’s no shame in changing tact to accommodate for your own needs and boundaries.

forgot to answer this for a bit lol BUT yeah, the post was a little bit more about the Conceptual argument than it was about me specifically, so I'm definitely already with you re: 'finding out what your Individual social goals are and working based off of those instead having high expectations based off of other people's metric' stuff. You definitely have a huge point with the "social buffer disparity" between NT people and ND people, where failures are both less demoralizing internally and less impactful externally when you're able to have a greater average of interactions generally also

but I really appreciated the "just as it’s possible you’re somehow unintentionally upsetting people, it’s possible you’re unintentionally making them feel happy, or valued, or heard, even in small, passing interactions" aspect of this message. I do definitely have a recurring problem of like, labeling Myself as an Uncanny Valley Person and automatically assuming that every interaction I'm involved in must be some level of uncomfortable for the other person -- it actually was kind of a revolution moment reading this and realizing that OH it does make sense that if I can unintentionally make people uncomfortable, it's statistically just as likely that I can unintentionally lift people's spirits in one way or another! So thank you very much for that!!

[magicalgirl6]

Luchia and Kaito are such an awful couple btw I hate them for each other

[ettadunham]

me making my dark forbidden rituals and sacrifices at the altar of dragon age: origins

[daz4i]

most annoying politics related thing i see both irl and on tumblr is when ppl hear about protests and actions taken against the government in [insert country with shitty government doing shitty things] and go "wow. i guess there are good people in [country] after all" like damn fr?? who knew! it's almost as if generalizing millions of people due to the actions of a few is dehumanizing and xenophobic 😳

[bonestrouslingbones]

here i always thought i was unlike papyrus in my general demeanor but now i'm learning i just needed 30mg of adderall

[nox-in-a-box]

On Season 1, Episode 19 of the show. How come people call Rapunzel a Mary Sue? I thought a Mary Sue was someone who's basically never made out to be wrong, or told they're wrong by the other characters?

[sudokuplayer]

i've watched only a few scenes of the movie WALL-E and i hate it so much 😮‍💨 and i also dislike all the Pixar movies released after that one. they really peaked with Ratatouille in my eyes

[bluecoati]

Must be nice to have a partner you can see regularly in person, kiss, touch, talk to(apparently), show affection to, isn't far away, feel happy with.....ha ha hhaaaaaaaa..

Must be Nice.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

tagged by my dearest @officiallestat 🖤 to post my lockscreen, last song i listened to, last pic i saved, & last pic i took 🫡

i'm gonna tag @lovelandohio @staratomizer @telogen @yuricocaine @scarylook & whoever else wants to do it :)

[emometalhead]

I love emo music, but hate drunk Millennials. This makes music events an interesting time

[robo-dino-puppies]

if anyone followed me for dragon age a bit ago: hiiii thank you ♡ and also sorry those were all scheduled posts and I hope you saw this isn't a dedicated blog lol

I'm definitely still doing a(nother) playthrough of Veilguard for The Photos, so there will be more for sure! I am new to the fandom; seeing moots getting excited in the run up to Veilguard and the fact that I already had the first three in my steam library made me play them last year :D

[windtraces]

GOSSIPPY COWORKER WHO LET ME TELL HER WVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED I LOVE YOU