#wait i should just rb

[windtraces]

GOSSIPPY COWORKER WHO LET ME TELL HER WVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED I LOVE YOU

[blindmagdalena]

Can I request a drabble? The length is up to you, where the homelander meets the reader for the first time, and they have a massive crush on him, and he can hear their heart going so fast and finds it so flattering and makes his ego much bigger than it needs to be. Thank you!!

ohhhhh this didn't entirely turn out the way i expected, but i hope you like it anyways! thanks so much for the request!

2.6k homelander x gn reader, sfw except for homelander's internal dialogue and a wee bit at the end. timeline is either early or pre s1. i know i usually skew towards female readers, but i tried to keep this one entirely gender neutral. let me know how i did, and enjoy! 🖤

Meeting fans is an everyday recurrence for Homelander. It's expected from a man of his station and notoriety. Aside from happenstance encounters during his daily duties, there’s also conventions and meet-and-greets. In addition, every once in a while, Vought employees are given the opportunity to invite friends and family for a tour of the tower. Rarer yet, for the chance to meet members of The Seven. Of them all, Homelander is without a doubt, in his humble opinion, the most enduring among them. Most often it’s children and spouses. For them, it’s the best day of their lives. For Homelander, it’s just another Wednesday.

Nonetheless, he tirelessly grins bright for every sticky-faced child and overgrown fanboy. He salutes diligently for selfies, and signs enough autographs to dry out his sharpie. The movements are automatic by now. Object comes in, object is signed, object is returned. Smile. Salute. You’re the real heroes!

Every single second of it is like the monotonous tick of a clock. Greasy fingers loudly slapping against touch screens, the occasional flash that he pretends doesn’t set his teeth on edge.

He’s handed another piece of paper, he signs it, he offers it back out.

Except you don’t take it. Instead, you’re just staring at him.

Suddenly, Homelander is zapped back to reality, the dissociative clockwork grind coming to a halt. He blinks, looking down, and realizes the paper he’s just signed is an envelope. Beneath his scrawling signature, a previous note is visible: To Homelander. He assumes that’s your name written just below it. It’s a letter for him.

“Oh, haha. Wow. Talk about your bonehead moves,” he says, lifting a gloved hand to playfully knock on his own skull. “Hello, is anyone home?”

You laugh, and he takes the opportunity to actually look at you. You’re bright eyed and as starstruck as any fan, but there’s a sincerity to your smile that’s more noteworthy than most. Your gaze has clarity to it that tells him you’re not just looking at a famous person, you’re looking at him. He likes that. 

Now that he’s actually paying attention, he’s surprised the beat of your heart didn’t hook him first. It’s pounding in your chest, the heat of it giving you a healthy flush all over. He’s willing to bet he could feel the heat of your skin clear through his gloves. Look at you, he thinks, biting back a wolfish smile. He knows already that you’d melt sweeter than ice cream in his hands. He licks his lips, giving you a once over. His eyes move quickly enough that you couldn’t possibly have seen it.

You prove distracting enough that he doesn’t even notice the man at your side until he speaks.

“There, happy? Been begging me for this for weeks,” the man says, giving you a nudge. He grins when he says, “Now you owe me one.” Homelander cocks his head sharply, like a bird of prey catching sight of a rat. “I was not begging,” you say under your breath, visibly flustered. You pull away from his second attempt to nudge you. “Dan, please,” you say, the word stressed in a way that seems to hold meaning between the two of you.

Please what, Dan? How about ‘Please don’t fucking embarrass me in front of the goddamn Homelander’?

Homelander sizes the guy up, subtly quirking a brow. He looks like someone’s intern, or maybe a tech grunt. Flimsy, without an ounce of charisma or presence. He probably would have mistaken the guy for a tall house plant if he hadn’t said anything.

“This your boyfriend?” He asks, maintaining that friendly tone of his. Neither of you seem to notice the edge creeping into it. He taps the envelope absently against his palm. “No! No, no,” You’re quick to say. Homelander doesn’t miss the look Dan gives you at the sharpness of your response. “Just friends.”

He smiles. Woof, that’s gatta sting, huh, buddy? It’s hilarious to think what this guy thought bringing you to Homelander was gonna do for his obvious situation. Did he think it was gonna get him a nice thank-you blowjob, or worse, a relationship? As if you’d have any interest in Dan after meeting an honest to god superhero. Someone you’ve apparently been begging to meet, which certainly paints a pretty picture.

Homelander begins peeling open the letter, but you throw out your hand to stop him, gently touching the top of his. He was right, he really can feel the heat of you through the leather. “Wait! I’m sorry, I just want to say thank you, and tell you that I admire you so much, which is already in that letter, and I’m rambling, and I’m sorry for that too, but I would probably shrivel up and die right now if you read that letter before I’m twenty miles away,” you say, nervous laughter bubbling up towards the end. You belatedly snatch your hand away, twice as flustered as you had been a moment before. He can still feel the lingering warmth of your hand on his.

“Holy smokes, fan behavior much?” Dan laughs, wrapping his arm around you to give your shoulder a little shake. It’s pathetic how desperately he’s trying to make himself relevant right now. Worse than that is how blatantly uninterested in him you are. Homelander very nearly rolls his eyes.

Instead, he purposefully softens his expression. He tucks the letter into his belt, and puts his hands on his hips. “Say, I don’t suppose you’ve seen the courtyard yet, have you? They call it The Garden of Heroes,” he says, leaning in to whisper the last bit to you, as if it’s a secret.

Your breath catches when he leans so near to you, and you shake your head. You give such a sweet little smile, he almost kisses you right then and there. You’re so wrapped around his finger, he’s sure you’d welcome it. He’d love to rub it in the nose of this joke of a man standing next to you, a man who was idiotic enough to deliver someone he clearly wanted right into Homelander’s hands.

Instead, he simply gestures you forward. “Then allow me to finish out your tour properly.”

You look thoroughly enchanted, eyes blown wide, lips parted. “Okay, yes! Sure. I would love that,” you say, excited as can be. You take a step forward, and he maneuvers himself perfectly between you and Dan, settling a hand on the small of your back to guide you. As the three of you walk, he catches Dan’s eye, and tosses him a wink.

For the rest of the walk, he savors the sound of Dan gritting his teeth.

Outside, Homelander gestures broadly to Vought’s expansive courtyard garden. It’s decorated with statues of heroes past and present, staggering monuments kept in pristine condition. He walks the two of you down a handful of rows, but in accordance with his plan, he stops abruptly. Putting his hands on his hips, he blows a raspberry. “You know, the view’s just not the same from down here.” Next, he makes a face, as if this brilliant idea has only just occurred to him, and snaps his fingers before he points to you. “Hey, why don’t you let me show you my view?”

“Your view?” You echo, glancing at Dan, who by this point has taken the very mature approach of outright moping. “Yeah! C’mere, let me give you a real tour,” he says, holding his hand out to you.

“Uh, I don’t think that–” Dan begins, but you’re already stepping past him, taking Homelander’s outstretched hand. With a bright smile, you say, “I’d love that.”

For as eagerly as you accept, you still yelp when Homelander effortlessly hauls you up into his arms. With one arm at your back, and the other supporting your knees, he says, “Hang on tight,” and shoots into the sky so swiftly, Dan is left shielding his face from the swirling winds of debris your ascent kicks up.

At first, Homelander thinks you’re screaming. After a beat, however, he realizes you’re laughing, arms wrapped so tightly around his neck, you’d be choking out anyone else. Gradually, he slows to a stop, hovering dozens upon dozens of feet off the ground, Dan and the gardens below a distant thought. Your breaths are coming in sharp and shallow, and if he thought your heart was pounding before, it’s nothing compared to now. It might just burst right out of your chest.

You’re still working out the giggles, or maybe you’re coming down from a mild hysteria. Either way, you eventually start to breathe more evenly, though your hold around his neck doesn’t loosen whatsoever.

“Holy shit,” you whisper, peering down at the distant earth below. When you turn back to look at him, you look surprised all over to be face to face with him. Homelander, who hasn’t taken his eyes off you, flashes his best hero’s smile. He’s satisfied by the way you fluster all over again, quickly looking away, hyper aware of how close your faces are, the press of your bodies as he holds you. It all happened so fast, perhaps it hadn’t dawned on you when you accepted that you would be so wholly at his mercy, snug in his arms, fifty feet in the air.

Works every time.

Homelander absently taps his fingers where he’s holding your leg. “What’d I tell you? Nothing beats this view.”

“It’s amazing,” you say, lifting your gaze to stare out across the city scape. “I can’t believe you can just… do this. You’re amazing,” you say, and though you don’t meet his eye, the sincerity in that praise strikes right through to the core of him like a hot lance.

“You have no idea,” he murmurs, musing on every one of his wonders he could show you. If you think this is amazing, wait until you see what he can do with his strength.

The wind must be loud in your ears, because you look back to him and ask, “What?”

“I said you’re too kind,” he says louder, teeth sharp and pearly white as he lies cleanly through them. You smile, none the wiser, but this time your gaze lingers on his. Your arms aren’t in quite such a chokehold around his neck anymore. You’re leaning against him more easily now, learning to trust the security of his hold.

“Do you do this for all your smitten fans?” You ask. You must think you’re being subtle with the way your fingers are toying with the hair at the nape of his neck, but he feels it viscerally. Whether you know it or not, you’re making it difficult for him to focus, to maintain the facade.

“Smitten?” He repeats, his smile turning a touch sly. “Is that what that letter is about?”

“Oh, god,” you say, lifting your hand from his neck to cover your face. He wishes you’d put it back, keep playing with his hair like that. “On second thought, maybe give me that back. Or burn it.” “No, no, it’s mine now. What’s in it? I mean, I could always just read it now,” he says, taking his arm from your back to reach threateningly for his belt. The lack of support prompts you to secure your arms back around his neck with a cute, distressed little noise.

“To be completely honest, I’d rather you dropped me,” you say, earning a bark of laughter from him. It’s the first genuine laugh he’s had all day. Maybe all week.

“Cahhh’mooooonnn,” he drawls, putting his arm back around you. “It can’t be that bad.” “It’s pretty tragic,” you lament, though your sheepish little smile suggests otherwise. He lifts both brows, stubbornly holding your gaze until you finally exhale a breath that tells him he’s won. “I… God, this is embarrassing. You, uhm… I know that I don’t know the real you, but who you are to the public, and the things you do… You mean a lot to me. You’ve brought me a lot of comfort. Helped bring me out of some pretty dark places, and I wanted to say thank you. For that. For choosing to be someone good when a lot of people weren’t.”

Homelander blinks. It shouldn’t catch him off guard. Your sincerity was what drew him in in the first place. Of course you don’t know the real him. No one does. By that same token, no one’s ever acknowledged to his face that there might be more to him than what Vought spoon feeds America’s braindead population through movies, TV specials, hokey interviews, and every other possible means of exploitation.

You don’t talk like you know him, but you sure as fuck sound as though you’d like to know him.

The silence stretches on just a hair too long, and he sees uncertainty rising in your eyes. He clears his throat, and breaks the sudden tension with a well practiced chuckle. “Well, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it? They save people.”

“Yeah,” you say, and he’s not sure how he can be expected to think when your fingers graze the back of his neck like that. “You’ve always been my hero.”

He’s close to you now, closer than ever before. He can’t smell anything aside from the crisp scent of peppermint lingering on your breath. He imagines you popping a mint between those soft lips in anticipation of this moment, as if you were the mastermind who had orchestrated all of this, and not the other way around. For the first time, he lets you see the way his gaze dips briefly to your mouth. He licks his own lips reflexively.

“Righty then, whelp… You’ve got a choice to make now,” he says, tilting his head slightly. “I can begin our descent, deliver you safely back onto solid ground, back to… Dan,” he says, unable to keep the edge of distaste off his tongue when he drops the name. “And the two of you can go about your day.”

He waits long enough that you’re the one to prompt him with, “Or…?”

“Or,” he picks up, lips curving into a pleased smile. “I can just take you straight home, and you can forget all about whatever he thinks you owe him.”

You bite your lip, stifling a smile. There it is again, the quickening of your pulse, the eager pattering of your heart. Now he can feel the heat of your body against him, seeping through the layers that separate you, teasing him.

“Sounds like I’ll just be going from owing him to owing you,” you say, playing as if you’re mentally balancing the pros and cons between the two. He doesn’t buy it for a second.

Homelander clicks his tongue. “Mmm, mhm, mm. I see. And is that a risk you’re willing to take?”

Instead of answering, you kiss him. For the first time in as long as he can remember, Homelander is genuinely shocked by it. Between the heartfelt letter, the shy smiles and the generally reserved way you’d handled yourself, he really didn’t think you had it in you. Yet here he is, melting into the press of your lips–they’re as soft as they looked–and pulling you closer, deeper. 

A noise dangerously close to a whimper escapes the back of his throat when you push your fingers up into his hair. He opens easily to the first swipe of your tongue, reciprocating without hesitation. What he had previously interpreted as shyness strikes him now as finely measured control.

You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?

By the time the two of you part, you’re both breathing in shallow, warm huffs against the others lips.

“I’m good with risks,” you say, voice low. “Are you?”

Homelander, wild-eyed and hard as a rock, laughs airily. “Fuck yes I am.”

You smile, making no attempts this time to hide it, and finally, Homelander sees deviousness to the edges of it that he did not notice before. “Good. Then take me home.”

With goddamn pleasure.

[rainingincale]

[thetomorrowshow]

urinetown au with jimmy as bobby and

post canceled i already did this in trust au

[cringelordofchaos]

ANYWAY I TRIED MAKING A TMF ICEBERG POST

Someone pls redo this instead of me or like recommend changes or additions to this because I didn't put much thought into it really.

(I scrolled through the whole freakblr tag for this)

(like I said, recommend additions/changes cuz this is really fun)

[across-stars]

(he's autistic to me)

[risingsunresistance]

twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao

[woolydemon]

i have never shared my animatic wips here before but that can be changed ig. (this is an earthspark bumblebee moment btw if it wasn't clear)

[firstofficerkittycat]

ok im not responding to that person anymore but the white reveal holy shit what. you should in fact stop making walls of text whiteknighting for black ppl who have varied opinions on that episode and talking like ur an authority on this. i dont even know what to say lmao i will continue to shut up about it because genuinely what is any of this its ridiculous we should not be the centering our opinions in a conversation about racism. that apology was for who i thought was a black person having no patience for me posting my thoughts on a thingt i do not experience not for a white person absolutely dominating the conversation across the dw tag over a topic that you should not be centering yourself in????

[zoekrystall]

Saw certain tweets and here once again a reminder which a twt mutual luckily wrote shorter than I could (plus public so I can rb bc no way I do that myself on that site)

Also

And if you want smth I wrote myself which is longer and not just abt that here you go

[olde-scratch]

hello persona 5 fans is it a bad idea to watch a playthrough without knowing barely anything about persona? because thats what im going to be doing

i wont be liveblogging it bc the playlist im using is over 100 hours of content (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCLeSTzz6trYw-Ii_EROxpkULdf1ofPES), but i will be saving my reactions in a document as i go, separating them into hours, and posting them video by video as reblogs on this post (so no need to block a tag to avoid spam or anything). will also be watching each video in one sitting (as in, finish a whole video in one go and then break and then go finish the next one later)

watching this for a dear friend of mine in exchange for being able to talk to them abt persona its so unfair ik i should at least get them to watch/read a few episodes/chapters of saiki k or a million dollars /j

im also going to be playing the videos on i think 2x speed and if there are any bits that drag (such as cosmetic interactions in the menu, lost boss fights, etc) ill just skip them in the name of time

[un-pearable]

back at it again attempting to deal w this mess

[wreckedhoney]

ough

[realpokemon]

we should criminalize ace trainers battling with their rhyperiors on the fucking I-40 when i'm trying to get to work on time. there is a goddamn BLISSEY on the road

( 198 notes )

🎆 faerie-type Follow

( 1,504 notes )

🎡 so-fucking-wurmple Follow

dear jirachi please send me 1,000,000,000p ^_^ (brink of tears)

🎡 so-fucking-wurmple Follow

GUYS GUYS THIS POST WAS A JOKE

I JUST GOT A CALL FROM MY MOM AND SAHHLJBGF[L;DLKJLFGDI SHE SENT ME A FREE SUPER POTION

THIS POST WORKS

🏖 hoennianblues Follow

Always reblog Lucky Jirachi Post

( 136,231 notes )

🌖 solgayleo Follow

i just saw another Youngster throwing a pokéball into the water and it completely missed and he didn't even bother to scoop up the broken pieces. i'm so fucking disappointed with this generation see this is why lapras are so endangered because they keep fuckin Literally Choking On Net Balls that you don't bother to clean up. this is one of the most bueatiful shores in the world and there are only 40 lapras left IN EXISTENCE and one washed up just last week please please please STOP SURFING and STOP BATTLING on the ocean

🏞 hurdurrgurdurr Follow

THIS!!!!! ^^^^ SIGNAL BEAM

💽 adultyoungster Follow

if you dont rb this post lets just say we're making eye contact

🛳 hmmmmsurf Follow

Wait what is op talking about? Lapras officially stopped being endangered back in 2016 and are actually an overeffective predator that are driving gastrodon populations almost to extinction in some parts of alola. This is actually just blatant misinformation? I guess??

🥘 malasada-mercy Follow

I gained a net 0 amount of information from this post 😭

( 30,439 notes )

🦠 sh1nyd3x Follow

need

🕰 omega-evolution Follow

"this is my beautiful baby his name is #00FF0E"

( 4,509 notes )

🌉 pokecomp-tweet-s Follow

( 414 notes )

🪁 macrobyke Follow

can we please normalize battling people without making eye contact. "oh oh oh its polite to warn people before you battle them!!!!" L + ratio + skill issue + never let em know your next move + dragonite use hyper beam

[thecherrygod]

i wanna lay face down in a river

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。i know you still think about the times we had

synopsis. satoru will always comes when you call him, he just never thought you’d stop calling

— word count. 5.2k (where did i go wrong)

— contents. college au, rich boy! gojo, break ups and make ups <3, it’s the cliche trope where the rich guy’s parent forces you to leave him aka gojo’s father is the villain, angst with a happy ending—i don’t want my cause of death to be angry rb! gojo stans, emo gojo ft. marvin’s room (iykyk), cliche rain scene—this fic is so cliche i’m sorry, reader is gn! but gojo is mentioned to like pics of girls on instagram (he was being petty)

— notes. well, it finally happened. the long awaited break up. this one’s for you niku 🤞🏽 AND DABITEE ANON

you open the door when satoru knocks—just barely, though. it’s just enough to hand him the bag with the remaining things he’s left at your apartment. it feels familiar, being here, but it feels so different too. it’s always been happy knocking on your door—he never thought he’d dread letting his knuckles meet the cool wood. it’s like taking the last bite of something sweet when you’re too full. when the sugar is too decadent on your tongue and your head spins and your stomach twists and it’s too much even though it used to be so good.

it’s too much being here. it’s too much trying to meet your gaze and get nothing in return. it’s too much being handed back that sweater he basically let you keep. and yet, it’s good to see you. he wants nothing more than to be here with you, wherever you are, even if you don’t want him to stay.

“that should be everything,” you murmur, still looking down. “let me know if there’s anything missing.”

satoru would never tell you if there’s something missing. he’d never come back and demand back something he gave you, he doesn’t think he could ever take back something he gave you—being handed back his heart after pressing it to your palms is hard enough. but then again, maybe he should look for small things you probably missed. just so he can come back. just so he can see you—how else will he see you now?

“no, it’s alright,” he says quietly. he doesn’t miss the way you quickly let go as soon as his hands grab the bag, almost like you’re being careful enough not to let your fingers meet each other. “you can uh…you can just keep them. or…throw them out if you don’t want them,” he mumbles.

you nod, standing there silently. it’s quiet, and then it’s quiet some more. and finally, you look up at him for the first time since he got here, staring at him a little expectantly. oh, right. now would be the part where he leaves.

“can i…can i just know why?” he croaks. fuck. he’s not supposed to cry. you ripped his heart out and threw it at his feet, you didn’t even care to hand it to him even after you tore every artery apart. but he sniffles anyway, lips wobbling as he stares at you. “why are you leaving me?”

your fingers twitch, like you itch to reach over and wipe that tear that rolls down his cheek. in the end, you cross your arms instead. “i already told you, satoru—”

“that’s bullshit,” he clicks his teeth, shaking his head as he stares at you frustratedly, “you gave me some bullshit reason.”

satoru has worked so hard to be here—to be with you. hadn’t he done enough? hadn’t he told you about himself, things he didn’t want to? hadn’t he tried to become something, someone more than just a guy swimming in trust funds? hadn’t he worked for your attention, waited outside classes and walked opposite directions in the hall with you just to seem dedicated? fuck, he even burned his hand trying to learn how to make pancakes to impress you, let the maids laugh at him as he twisted the stove the wrong way to try and turn it on. 

why wasn’t it enough? what more could he give you than everything? how can the guy who has everything not have enough to give? he doesn’t understand.

“satoru, we weren’t gonna work,” you pinch your nose—it’s like you’re the one who doesn’t understand why he’s being like this. “the sooner you accept that the more hurt you’re saving the both of us—”

“we were working just fine,” he says exasperatedly. it’s like you insist he’s crazy when he’s nothing but sane. like he’s trying to tell you the sky is blue, and you’re refusing to believe it’s anything other than green. it’s clear. it’s practically a fact. you were doing just fine—why don’t you see that? “we were happy,” he takes a step forward and cups your cheeks, pressing his forehead to yours, “was it someone? did they tell you something? just tell me who, baby—i’ll fix it. i’ll put them in their place, okay? no one can bother you if i get them to leave you alone—”

“then you leave me alone,” you whisper. he stills. you pull away from his hands. “sator—gojo. please just leave me alone. it’s better that way.”

you close the door, and he stands there. numb. maybe a little shocked. entirely ruined.

gojo. he laughs quietly after a moment at that—it’s a laugh meant for men who’ve lost the last thread to sanity. gojo. it’s like a slap in the face, being called the name he worked so hard to get you to drop. it took him weeks—months, even, to convince you to call him satoru. then he upgraded to toru. then it was baby. sometimes you teased him and called him pumpkin—he called you peaches in return. when you introduced him, you called him your boyfriend. 

not anymore. now he’s back to gojo—that god-forsaken name with everything but what he really wants attached to it. his grandfather’s legacy. his future. business deals. fancy invites. more money than he knows what to do with. the name gojo comes with everything but you.

but he had you for a bit, didn’t he? when he was just satoru—but now he’s gojo again, and you’re gone. the only sign of you left is in the faint traces of your perfume in the sweaters you’ve returned. 

and satoru still isn’t sure what brought the break up on. he thinks it’s the part that stings the most—when everything seems perfect one second, and then it’s not. had he not tried enough? maybe he was too much. maybe he didn’t understand you the way you needed him to. maybe he was too overbearing. maybe he asked for too much too fast. 

he’s not sure. he tried asking when you broke it off—you only shook your head and said it wasn’t going to work out between the two of you, that it was a mistake to try at all. mistake? how could you call this a mistake? things were so perfect, weren’t they?

satoru doesn’t think there was even one second he wasn’t smiling when he was with you, and he used to think the same was true for you too. had you been faking it this long? or was it real at one point—had he really failed you so badly, seen past you so blindly that he didn’t notice when your smiles stopped reaching your eyes?

it’s too late, he figures. you and satoru are broken up. 

you ask him to come over one morning, and he does—because he always comes when you call. he brings your coffee order from that cafe you like, the one you don’t go to often because the coffee is more overpriced than any other coffee shop you’ve ever seen. he’s grinning when you open the door, leans in to kiss your lips excitedly. you turn your head then, and his lips meet your cheeks instead—he supposes he should’ve known it at that moment. he should’ve seen that your lips weren’t smiling. your eyes were tired, a little red. you were hugging yourself in that way you do when you’re nervous. you didn’t let him kiss your lips, you made him kiss your cheek. 

and then you sat him down on that worn-down couch of yours, took off that bracelet his mother gave him to gift you on your anniversary, and pressed it to his palm as you said we should break up. break up. you wanted to leave him—and satoru didn’t understand, still doesn’t understand. 

he’s tried for so long, replayed the last month of your relationship in his head over and over and fucking over. you always smiled. you kissed him first. you held his hand, and even squeezed. you asked to see him. you laughed when he was around. you said i love you. you were happy. but then you weren’t—when did you stop being happy? and how could you have stopped feeling it with him?

—————

breaking up with satoru is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. how long can people live without the sun? you think not longer than a few minutes—that’s what it feels like without satoru’s warmth, anyway. 

gojo satoru has always smiled as long as he’s been with you. he smiled smugly on your first meet, smiled bitterly after every rejection, smiled in pure glee when you finally said yes, and smiled like his fingertips could touch the sky every time he saw you after that. 

satoru has never looked sad for long in your presence—you have that effect on him, you make his lips curl and his eyes brighten in that way that they deserve to shine. but for the first time ever, his eyes dim with you around, his lips curl into a frown at your words, and he cries for you. his eyes glisten with tears instead of wonder, and you think for a moment that you might be making a mistake. 

but then you remember that this is for the best—that if you really love gojo satoru, you’ll let him go instead of clipping his wings.

“he’s picked up his things,” you speak quietly into the phone. you don’t sniffle even as you desperately need to—it’s the last bit of control you have left, and you intend to keep it. “i won’t be seeing him again.”

“good,” his father speaks, “that’s good to hear.” 

satoru’s father is a cold man, you learn that on the first meet. he doesn’t look at his wife with a soft look that tells you there’s any love built between the decades of marriage, and he doesn’t look at his only son with any affection for the boy he raised. instead, he stares at satoru like any businessman would an opportunity—with a calculating gaze that tries to work out the best course of action for the most profit. 

satoru is young, but he’s charming and conniving and knows how to get what he wants when he wants—he’s quick on his feet and rarely lets himself get cornered into a wall. in the last three generations of the family business, no heir has shown as much promise as gojo satoru. that’s what his father tells you, anyway. you believe him—satoru is smart and knows how to play his cards right, you won’t deny that. his future is set to be comfortable, and he’s never known anything outside of that, never built any other plans for himself. 

you can’t rip that away from him—not for your own sake, not for your own happiness. 

“you promised you wouldn’t freeze his trust funds once i ended things,” you remind him, “and that he’d keep his inheritance.” somehow, because the world grants you this one favor, your voice doesn’t shake—it’s steady and firm as it reminds the stone-cold man at the end of the line of your agreement—and he offers a slow chuckle that makes your jaw clench. 

“yes, i do recall,” he hums, “i’m glad we could come to agree. you understand, don’t you? it is my job as his father to do what’s best for him.”

you know what he’s saying—what that means. you’re not what’s best for him. maybe he’s right—maybe satoru needs someone who’s equally as promising to build a successful company into even more success. maybe he needs someone who can take him out for a change to those fancy places he takes you every few weeks. maybe he needs someone who’s heard of half the brands he wears and doesn’t scold him to turn the lights off so the electricity bill isn’t high. maybe he needs someone who can keep up with everything that gojo satoru is—and that someone is not you, no matter how deeply you love him. 

“—the offer still stands, should you change your mind. i’m willing to compensate you for the trouble this must all be.” 

your lips curl into a scowl at his words. that’s the thing about rich people, you think—money is always enough to sugarcoat everything. why worry about the dead grass in your lawn when you can paint it green? but you don’t leave satoru for extra cash on your hands—nothing can be worth auctioning off the only man who’s ever made you feel anything. you leave satoru because he deserves to continue living comfortably, to make a name for himself that isn’t just a ghost of his father’s. if that means being cut from the corner of the picture, you’re willing to pick up the scissors yourself. 

“no thanks,” you hiss, “i don’t need the money.”

“i would disagree,” his father sneers, “but suit yourself.”

the line ends, and for good this time, satoru is no longer yours. was he ever to begin with? 

—————

you try to forget your ex-boyfriend—keyword, try. every hour of your life consists of you using your burner account to refresh his instagram page to see if he’s posted anything new. you unfollow satoru from every social media platform the same day he picks up his belongings—you know he’s noticed within the first thirty minutes because all of his pictures with you are gone, just like all your pictures with him. 

in what you assume is an attempt to be petty, he likes every picture of every girl he sees, and he even blocks you on twitter—you know he picks twitter because twitter is the only social media that blatantly states you’re blocked. but then you’re unblocked in two days, and you know he must be missing you now that the initial anger is faded. 

it makes you laugh a little, even through your tears. satoru is not satoru without petty fits of emotion, and you can’t bring yourself to be mad, not when it’s your fault he’s hurting like this. he’s extra sad today, you gather—if the way marvin’s room is posted to his instagram story on a blank screen is of any hint. it makes you scoff in amusement that in true gojo satoru fashion, he’s effectively told all eight-thousand-something of his followers he’s pathetically in his feelings. 

you scroll through suguru’s story, too—he didn’t unfollow you even after satoru temporarily blocked you, but you figure suguru is the only person satoru really has. you shouldn’t keep yourself close to him, not when it could hurt satoru more, so you remove him too. 

suguru is, as always, drinking at some fancy party with obnoxiously rich college students who have not a care in the world for midterms around the corner. who needs to pass when you’re swimming in money whether or not you have a degree? the first thing you learn about the rich is that most of them are only at college for the experience—they don’t see college as the stepping stone to better opportunities, there’s nothing education could offer that trust funds already don’t. but satoru attends college for himself—he enjoys business classes, you learn, and especially finance ones. for someone who spends money so carelessly, he understands it particularly well. 

there’s no sign of satoru at whatever party it is suguru is at, there’s no trace of strikingly bright white strands anywhere in any corners—you do see naoya in a corner, though, and you crinkle your nose in distaste. if satoru were here, he’d say something bitterly under his breath about the asshole, and you would giggle. but satoru is not here, and even naoya the women-hating jackass makes you miss your obnoxiously whiny ex-boyfriend. 

everything reminds you of satoru. that bear he won you at the fair (after maybe six tries) by your pillows, those polaroids at your desk that you can’t bring yourself to take down, that sticky note on your fridge he left promising to replace the creamer he finished (he’s replaced it more times than he’s needed to by now), that extra big blanket you keep on the couch because the old one barely covered his legs, that pair of silly matching mugs you both had for coffee in the mornings. 

every corner of your apartment has something that reminds you that satoru was here, that he was yours, that for a short while, he was the best thing you ever had. it’s your fault, you think—that satoru and you are here in this mess in the first place. he’s always looked at life through a hopeful lens. having everything does that to you, makes you ignorant to the misfortunes of the world, makes you think everything is within the realm of your reach. you, on the other hand, knew this was bound to happen. the two of you together is like hot oil and cool water—what feels like sparks is just the oil shooting out to burn you. you should’ve known this would have never lasted. 

in a way, you think you did. it’s why you hated him so fiercely at first—maybe deep down, you always knew you wanted him, that he would never be yours. maybe that’s why you were so adamant about rejecting him, that even when he was clearly trying, it would never be enough. satoru has always been enough, has always been what everyone has wanted—you’re not so sure you can say the same for yourself. 

you love gojo satoru. he loves you too—he falls first, and you think maybe, he might have fallen harder too. no one loves like satoru. they say if you press coal hard enough, it turns to diamonds—you think if you gave satoru coal, he would hand you back the sun and all of her stars. it’s just the kind of guy he is, the one that turns everything dull into something bright and warm and worth it. you wish you didn’t have to break his heart, you wish you could’ve walked out of this the only one hurt. but maybe, at the very least, if you break him good enough that he hates you, he’ll move on quicker, maybe have something to look forward to while you continue to work your way up and cheer him on. 

before you can refresh suguru’s page one more time to stalk his story, you’re pulled from your thoughts as someone knocks on your door—correction: pounds on your door. you jolt on your couch, standing up and making your way to the front door quickly and looking through the peephole. 

satoru. of course.

he’s soaked to the bone—it’s raining outside, and of course, just as on brand as always, he must’ve rushed here without an umbrella.

you shouldn’t open it.

but you can’t just leave him in the rain, can you? but he’s not your problem anymore, you agreed to leave him, didn’t you? but how could he not be your problem when he’s all you think about? but this could cause him trouble if his father found out he was here, right? but can you really leave someone, ex-boyfriend or not, in the pouring rain? you can’t be that cruel can you?

before you can make up your mind, he speaks up, “i know you’re standing there. open the door,” he demands. 

“satoru, go home,” you sigh, head pressing against the surface that separates you, “don’t make this anymore difficult than it has to be.”

“if it’s difficult, that means you don’t really want to do this,” he argues. he’s still as good as ever at sweet talk, still as persistent and charming as ever at getting what he wants. “please,” he croaks, “just let me in.”

you know it means more than one thing. you know it means more than just your home. but you shouldn’t, you can’t let him know why you did all this—how can you protect someone from something if they don’t let you? satoru would never let you if he knew, and that’s why you can’t let him know. 

“satoru, if you don’t leave…i’ll…i’ll call the cops,” you warn. 

“no you won’t,” he says instantly. “i’m not leaving until you open the door. and if i get sick, i’ll send you my bill for the emergency room visit.”

“you’re not going to the emergency room for a common cold, you idiot,” you scoff. 

the rain doesn’t slow—in fact, you can hear thunder. satoru is still stubbornly outside, knocking away. 

“i’ll start screaming,” he insists, “your neighbors will complain for noise again. do you want to be kicked out of this apartment? just let your cold, wet, heartbroken ex-boyfriend in if you have a heart.”

and because you are, and always will be, weak to the charms of gojo satoru, you open that damned door—even though you shouldn’t, even though you can’t, even though you said you would never again. but you do. because it’s satoru, and he always comes when you call, and you’ll always let him in when he’s here. 

“you don’t come to your ex’s house less than one week after the break up,” you sigh once you open the door. he takes a step in, shutting the door behind him. 

“why did you leave me?” he asks. 

“satoru, you can’t keep bringing this up—”

“why? just tell me why.”

“i don’t have to—”

“tell me why and i’ll stop bothering you. i just need to know why,” he insists. 

and then you break.

you’re only human. you’ve lost the man you’ve given everything to for over a year in the span of one week. you’ll never see his lovely mother again who spoiled you rotten, you’ll never hang out out with his funny best friend who treats you like family, and you’ll never be enough for gojo satoru, the rich, loud, sheltered, obnoxious, handsome jackass you met and had to do a project with and accidentally fucked over and over again until you fell in love. 

so you shove his chest, once, then twice, then a third time, each time getting weaker and weaker than the last as tears slip down your cheeks as you simply break down. “just leave, satoru,” you sob, “why can’t you just leave? why do you keep coming back?”

you hate seeing him here. you want him gone. you never want to see him again. you hope he never leaves. you’re glad to see him. you hope this isn’t the last time. you hate that he seems to not be getting enough sleep. his eyes are hollow. he must not be eating properly. he probably hasn’t attended class. he has a quiz next week. he most likely forgot about that. his clothes are wrinkly. he definitely hasn’t showered in days. 

“last month you said i was it for you,” he glares at you, his eyes red and swollen and every shade of heartbreak. you miss when they were blue—that beautiful, bright, perfect shade of blue. “last week you said we were a mistake. what the fuck do you mean, huh? what are you playing at?”

“you can realize a lot in a month—”

“not enough to erase over a year,” his voice booms. it makes you flinch and hug yourself tightly. tears slide down your cheeks, your vision is blurry. this might be the last time you see satoru, and even if he’s angry, you want to remember the curves of his features. so you wipe them away. they keep coming back. “so tell me,” he clenches his jaw, “did you string me along for a year or did something happen last week that you’re not telling me?”

“i realized you were bad for me,” you say quietly. 

satoru stares at you. it’s a piercing gaze—his eyes are electrically blue and his lashes are unfairly long and every time he stares at you, you think he almost sees into your soul. they’re tired—there are purplish bags under them on that pale skin of his, and the whites of his eyes are concerningly bloodshot. he stares, and stares, and for a second, you think you’ll die like this. watching him stare at you as your heart bleeds out. 

“i spent weeks,” his voice shakes, “i waited outside your class. i followed you to the next one. i memorized your fucking schedule.”

“satoru, you need to leave—”

“and then you fucked me and left every morning like i was nothing,” he glares, sniffling. you don’t know where the rain drops on his face start and where the teardrops end. “and then i begged you for a chance—begged. i burned my hand, got laughed at by the maids to learn how to make those stupid fucking pancakes for you.”

“i didn’t ask you to—”

��it took you two months to call me baby for the first time. did you know that? i waited two months to hear that. i thought it was the best two months i ever waited.”

“satoru,” you plead. 

you’ve given up on trying to wipe away the tears—he’s given up on crying altogether. you’ve never seen him so hollow, so dead in the eyes and so, so tired.

satoru has never gotten tired—not when he’s fighting for you.

“and then you kept pushing me away, acting like i was some shallow guy who wanted to get in your pants and leave cause i had some money to my name. i took you everywhere, introduced you proudly, let everyone say what they wanted to say about me because i loved you, and…and i thought you loved me too,” he shakes his head. 

his voice breaks, and god, so does your heart right along with it.

“i do love you,” you admit it before you realize what you’re saying. 

“then why did you fucking leave me?” his voice is loud.

satoru never yells, not at you. his voice is always gentle, patient, like he worships the ground you walk on, like he’ll get on his knees if you ask him too. satoru never yells—but he does tonight. 

“because i had to,” you sob, fingers digging into your temples as you shake. the words spill from your lips faster than the tears, like a swarm of angry bees, one following after the other. “or you’d lose everything. the trust funds, the inheritance, the company. i couldn’t let that happen to you—not for me,” you whisper. 

it feels like defeat—in the end, you couldn’t keep satoru, and you couldn’t leave him either. you couldn’t love him like you wanted, and you couldn’t let him go like you should have. what else is there left to fuck up? what more can you ruin in less than a week? the bees feel like maggots in your mouth, swarming a dead carcass.  

“so you left me because my old man threatened you with my trust funds?” he asks in disbelief. you think something in satoru dies at that—something in his shoulders falls and his eyes almost seem gray. 

satoru gets his blue eyes from his mother—they’re bright and kind and deeper than the ocean. but unlike the ocean, they’re not scary to fall into, to lose yourself in no matter how far you are from shore. his father’s eyes are gray—cold and blank and not laced with a single hint of emotion. 

you can’t help but think that blue suits satoru so much better than gray ever could. 

“it wasn’t just that,” you shake your head, “that’s not fair, satoru. what was i supposed to do? know you were about to lose everything and stay?”

“you could have talked to me before you decided for me,” he hisses, “what do you want me to say? thank you? thank you for breaking my heart? thank you for making me feel like a worthless piece of shit who wasted a year for someone who didn’t seem to care? thank you for walking out on me?”

“you know i’d have stayed if i could,” you argue, voice breaking.

“then why didn’t you? why the fuck didn’t you?”

“because i couldn’t!”

“you could!” he screams—you realize, for the first time in your life, you hate when satoru screams. he never screams. “all my life, that old man has been making decisions for me. satoru, wear this. satoru, go here. satoru, don’t do that. satoru, put that away. satoru, stay away from them. satoru, come with me. that’s all he’s ever fucking done—make every choice for me. and now…now you’re just like him,” he breathes, lips wobbling as he stares at you with hurt. 

it’s like that for a bit—you stare at him as he crumbles, and he stares at you like he doesn't know you anymore. you don’t know who leans in first, if it’s your hand or his face, but one second you’re feet apart, and the next second his face is cradled in your hands, thumbs swiping away at his tears. you catch them, one by one, waiting to wipe them away no matter how fast they come. because satoru always comes when you call, and you’ll always be there for him to find you. 

“i don’t want to leave,” you mumble, “i never do. you are it for me, i meant that, you know. who else will melt extra chocolate in my hot chocolate?”

“then don’t leave,” he begs, voice cracking, “i don’t want you to. i’ll handle that old geezer—my grandfather will knock some sense into him. fuck, suguru and i can even hide his body, it’s fine. just don’t leave, okay?”

you let out a watery chuckle, pinching his cheek as you shake your head. “i don’t know if i’m worth homicide, satoru.”

“i think you’re wrong,” he huffs, “you’re wrong about a lot of things, you know. so wrong.”

“i never said i was perfect,” you pout.

he buries his head into your neck, clinging to you tightly—you cling back, because nothing is as safe as satoru’s arms. you’d melt into his skin if you could, live in that spot right where his heart is so you can make sure it’s always beating. 

“you’re still perfect,” he mumbles, “but you’re always mean to me. this was the worst you’ve ever been.”

“i’m sorry,” you murmur, slipping your fingers into his hair—it’s still wet, you realize. he’s soaked, and he could catch a cold but you don’t care. satoru is back. he’s here in your run-down apartment with the mugs and the blanket and that toothbrush you forgot to return and that pair of socks you found in your drawer. satoru is finally home. “i’ll never leave you again.”

“promise?”

“yeah. as long as you don’t block me on twitter again.”

“you deserved that.”

“and for the love of god, toru, delete that marvin’s room story. that was so dumb.”

“are you stalking me?” he pulls away with a grin, making you glare with a huff. he chuckles, kisses your forehead as he murmurs, “missed me that bad, huh? yeah, i would too.”

“well, obviously not enough to post marvin’s room on my story.”

“you can’t be mean to me after you broke my heart!” he whines.

yeah, you think, satoru is home. he’s still that loud, obnoxious, pestering brat that he always was—and he’s still the only love you’ve ever known. 

“i love you,” you press your forehead to his, kissing him slowly. you want to kiss him harder, you want to kiss him desperately like you’ll never kiss him again. like you lost him and miraculously got him back. like you’ll never see the sun again without him. 

but there’s time for that—lots of it, in fact. because satoru is home.

“i love you too,” he whispers, “wanna shower with me? if you really love me, you would.”

read the makeup sex sequel ;) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

if this fic was a person i would want it dead.