#i am. so bi about hair
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an ode to happy trails. to furred backs and sloping bellies. to beards and bushy brows and yellowed teeth. to crooked smiles and rough laughter, to white a-shirts gone translucent with sweat.
hands gone rough with callouses. faces gone wrinkled and dark with age. chest hair with white streaks through it, jewellery worn and scratched.
a love letter to hairy calves, slashed with scars. to low smoldering grills and the scent of just-burnt meat. the sun has not yet set, this summer, and the grass has yellowed. there is laughter around the table, and the paper plates are stacked, half-full and mostly torn, by the bin.
to potatoes wrapped in aluminium foil, greasy fingers, to picking at corn and bones in between beer-softened giggles and burned shoulders. thinking idly about hair and mouths.
and beautiful men.
#hello im thirsty on main#my work#poetry#writerblr#writers of tumblr#poets of tumblr#spilled ink#spilled words#an ode to men who grill#and beauty#i am. so bi about hair#like. cannot begin to tell you how bi i am about hair
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the debate continues (pt 1) but kurama gets called in
bonus under the cut (ft hiei):
gay people
#can you tell i'm much more used to drawing hiei and kurama? lol. i just love their hair sm like.. mwah#anyway idek if this is funny but here's more of it ig#also i just typed 90s yaoi cover into google so i know nothing about that image or its source material so like. open to fun facts ig#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#kurama#shuichi minamino#hiei#anyway kuwameshi bi4bi moment and i think about the discovery of that a lot. also yusuke's nb to me so im picturing another side of this#where yusuke's like oh man... maybe i AM the girl??? but for gender reasons and not like. relationship dynamic or uke/seme reasons or whatv#also poor kuwabara. that's not going to help you very much i think. he's gonna believe in the yaoi hole :(#skrunkart#thinking about how kurama uses telepathy when he's first introduced and kind of never again after that?? anyway that's what going on in tha#hiei extra fyi#kuwabara kazuma#minamino shuichi#idkkkkk#hoorayy anyway so like. yusuke and kuwabara here like each other so much but don't know what that makes them (bi in this case) bc of the#past interest in girls. like they both have been into girls but they feel so strongly about each other they can't just ignore it. so they'r#like shit i guess we're gay now. and that doesnt fit right but what else could it be? and also they have like zero accurate knowledge of#queer people and queerness. very 'completely trusts an am i gay quiz' moment to me#they don't know where to look besides yaoi and that's Not For Them so that doesn't work. confusing times for kuwameshi i spose#plus kuwabara spirit sensitivity = gaydar in this case#a little tiny tiny kurahi in there. to me :)
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what SICKO wrote the last scenes between gwaine and merlin is what i want to know. because even lancelot's last episode with merlin - which had to have been intentionally gay-coded since it's obvious the man is grappling with his feelings for merlin morphing from platonic to explicitly romantic - is still subtext because he doesn't have the tools to healthily express his feelings so he goes for the biggest romantic gesture he can think of: sacrificing his life to save a loved one. the writers also make sure to root this gesture back to gwen by adding a scene where she's inadvertently asking him to make that sacrifice first, so although it's very obvious that it's more for merlin than for gwen that lancelot dies for, she is there to add some plausible deniability, thus keeping his sexuality within the realms of subtext.
i don't want to delve too deeply into arthur's last scenes with merlin as there is both so much to unpack about what they mean to each other and there is also somehow nothing left to say that hasn't been said before. my point is just that there's so much at stake that if the viewer doesn't want to deal with the romantic subtext between them they can hang onto the 38 other dynamics merlin and arthur have represented to each other that the writers spent 5 years plastering on top of the gay subtext. basically, while the romance feels textual emotionally-speaking, it isn't "canon".
i don't mean to say that any relationship is better than another (even though i obviously have a preference) but that in gwaine's final scenes with merlin there's just no subtext anymore. his becomes the most explicit expression of romantic love towards merlin, and therefore the most explicit acknowledgment of homosexual love and the existence of queer people on the show:
it starts out with merlin suggesting that gwaine saved a girl from the saxons and then looked after her because he has a more than platonic interest in her, and they show us that merlin is right - gwaine and the girl eira slept together - even as gwaine half-heartedly denies any interest (which, why even deny it? merlin saw them holding hands! unless the lie is part of the point). then in that very same scene and directly after this exchange, merlin needs rescuing from the saxons, calls after gwaine, and gwaine performs the exact same role for him that he performed for eira: he saves him from the saxons and looks after him (for as long as merlin lets him).
the parallel between merlin and eira with such quick cause and effect (it literally all happens within the same minute) is where the shift from subtext to text becomes undeniable. yes, there have been other moments on the show where a character's affections towards two different genders are beat-for-beat the same, but, again, there has always been plausible deniability. in this case the parallel is meant to be taken at face value: the core point of it is to show us how gwaine expresses his attraction.
then, the dialogue they chose to bookend this scene with takes it a few steps further by functioning as a textual love confession to merlin himself: the scene opens with gwaine thanking merlin for everything he did for eira, and merlin saying that there is no need to thank him as it was the least he could do. a minute later, after merlin thanks gwaine for protecting him from the saxons as both merlin and the show just concluded gwaine did for eira for romantic reasons (even as he denied it by outright lying), gwaine parrots what merlin said when gwaine thanked him: no need to thank me, merlin, it's the least i could do.
but this comes off as the opposite of dismissive: in fact, this echoing of merlin's words is meant to jolt both merlin and the audience. by saying this right after saving merlin from the saxons, gwaine has now intentionally pointed merlin's attention towards the explicitly romantic parallel between himself and eira. gwaine is directly implying he just did for merlin what merlin correctly deduced he did for a woman because he desired her sexually and romantically, and he is using merlin's own words to challenge him into seeing past the initial flimsy lie that there is nothing between them. and what's behind the lie, of course, is that gwaine has done all of this and more because he desires merlin sexually and romantically. the camera even lingers on merlin, allowing him and the viewer to absorb what just happened. that for as long as we have known gwaine, his motivations have always boiled down to "i want to be there for merlin". and now both the audience and merlin finally know for sure what was motivating him the entire time.
what's more, by using merlin's own dismissive words, gwaine also implicates merlin's penchant for repression and denial and never allowing himself to be given credit where it's due. this unfortunately never properly gets dismantled on the show, but this moment shows that gwaine knows merlin well enough to know that he goes above and beyond for people, and that merlin's reasons for this ring as false to gwaine's ears as gwaine's reasons for saving damsels do to merlin. it also bittersweetly implies that gwaine has accepted that these are the platonic, repressed terms on which he can have a relationship with merlin. but i think the way in which he explicitly points all of this out to merlin is meant to imply that he isn't entirely happy about having to accept that. or, to circle back to eira, that merlin seems to be cheering for him to enter a heterosexual relationship when gwaine would clearly rather be with him.
what's additionally interesting to me about this is that this is one of the only scenes on this show that touch on same gender attraction that isn't using magic as a metaphor - because merlin doesn't have magic at the moment, yes, but also because gwaine is the more active character in this sequence, and he's an adventure hero, so he simply fights the bad guy to protect the person he loves. there is no metaphor to wrap this in, so he just gets to explicitly state his bisexuality. in the next scene, the very last one he and merlin share, it all becomes about magic again, which is both representative of merlin's sexuality and the show's "plausible deniability" approach to gay-coding, and so neither gwaine or merlin are permitted to acknowledge it. also, and this is for another post altogether, but all things point to "gwaine knew". not least because he gets to come out as queer without the complications of the magic-as-gay-metaphor which in turn emboldens him to ask merlin for the truth as directly as the metaphor-suffocated narrative will allow it.
tldr gwaine textually and canonically expresses and then confesses his feelings to merlin in a shockingly well-written and layered scene which makes gwaine the most explicitly queer character on bbc merlin and it's entirely because he exists outside the magic-as-gay-metaphor plot while loving someone who embodies that entire metaphor and it's crazy to me that we don't talk about this more. once again i ask what SICKO wrote this and where were they for the entire rest of this fucking show
tldrtldr at least gwaine is bi. its like i always say. at least gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. dont cry ok? gwaine is bi. at the end of the day. gwaine is bi. when all else fails. gwaine is bi. we'll always have. gwaine is bi
#[normalgirl voice] i care a normal amount. about canonically bi gwaine. come closer i promise i am normal about canonically bi gwaine#i should make like that bi lancelot guy and submit this as a paper. the people need to know bbc gwaine is bi (REAL NOT CLICKBAIT)#gwaine#bbc merlin#gwaine x merlin#merwaine#bbcm#ALL OF THAT packed into a 2 minute scene. after having gwaine sleepwalk through almost two entire seasons#they even managed to make giving gwaine a last-minute female love interest feel less like a cop-out the way these things usually do#& more like a quick way to make him explicitly bisexual. and then they made it even funnier by making her fuck off and betray him for money#eira with the bleach blonde hair you will always be famous. to me#this show would be so good if it was good. the “gwaine” show on the other hand IS good. it just unfortunately . doesnt exist
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I’m being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?
I’m probably not going to be watching anymore.
I mean it when I say that they’re literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like “Idek these characters I need to watch this show and see what’s going on over there.”
And like, it’s a fun show, I’m not saying it isn’t, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they don’t have Buck & his bi arc, but I’d still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.
I don’t need them right now, I’m so down for the slow burn, will-they-won’t-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out he’s queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think I’m gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.
#911 abc#buddie#demisexual eddie diaz#also pls don’t come at me with “you don’t care about bi representation”. he’s already bi#he’s always been bi & I’ve loved watching him on this journey#but his & Eddie’s relationship is literally the only reason I started this show in the first place#and again if they find good LI’s & bring them more into focus#the time spent on the Buddie relationship will decrease. that’s just how tv & time limits work#and if my favorite relationship on the show goes away then why would I continue watching it religiously?#also I know I’m a bitch & would therefore hate any person they brought in to be the HEA for them & that’s not fun for anyone#not that I would bully the actor/actress bc im not an ASSHOLE#eddie diaz#evan buckley#I literally watched Booth & Bones take like 9 seasons to get together I am IN IT with a slow burn#unless they do what they did last season & shoehorn 2 LI’s in at the last second on the last episode then I guess I wouldn’t have a choice#Tim would’ve pulled a fast one on me#also I will watch literally anything else Oliver Stark is in SNOOKUMS I love you so much. come home the kids miss you 😂#& probably Lou also bc he’s so freaking cute irl I wanna die#with his curly hair and his silly faces and his muscles and his wanting to be held in the dark#LOU BABY ILL HOLD YOU IF THE POWER GOES OUT#I have spent too much of my life & time & energy to get 0 payout and it’s honestly unsustainable but that’s a whole different problem
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Ok, so I'll go back to posting drawings soon, but I need to ramble about girls with short hair like??? What gives them the right to be so pretty???? And when someone has bags under their eyes, like REAL bags under their eyes. A tired person who is themselves and has short hair ohmygod I knew this was my type, but fuckkkk
Saw someone with short hair and bags under their eyes at the breakdancing olympics and I JUST FELL IMMEDIATELY. Saw this yuri manga that is called "The guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all" and fell for Mitsuki, too 😭(That without counting the fact that all my girl crushes have been girls with short hair through my life). It's like I have this instant crush for girls with short hair that I can't help. It just looks so fashionable and great and so comfortable and makes them look so cool.
Help, I am having a huge gay panic rn 😔
#moth is bi#but girls with short hair has her going full lesbian mode#and chubby boys with what ppl call the bear body type also have me mesmerized#I once had a huge crush on one and I never knew I was attracted to it before I fell for him lol#He was such a sweetheart though so ofc I was going to fall for him eventually#ALSO GIRLS WITH DYED HAIR#AND PIERCINGS#Dont get me started with the black nail polish#or whatever thats called#fuckkk black nail polish is so hot???#I think I am going to read that whole manga because I need to see more of Mitsuki#She triggered my current gay panic after all lol#GOD IMAGINE KYLAR WITH SHORT HAIR#UGHHHHH NO WAY I AM SIMPING#Tomboy Whit would be so 🙏#AH FEM JORDAN WITH SHORT HAIR 🛐🛐🛐🛐#Helppppp#I needed to get this out of my system#because I can't ramble about this with anyone else at this hour#AUGHHH
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for some reason im really feeling the Queer Euphoria in this chilis tonight, specifically: being so ambiguous its hilarious. there is No label to describe my orientation/gender. like yeah i use nonbinary bc technically it fits but also bc the flag Fucks. if asked, my only correct answer would be "Wildcard, Motherfucker!"
#both change on a daily basis#gender depends on vibes. weather. A Cool Art Piece I Saw On Tumblr. a dream i had the night prior. what im doing at the moment. song playin#i use & prefer they/them but really anything is free game For The Bit. i am willing to play pretend and try on different hats!#orientation depends on who im looking at in the moment. like i consistently surprise myself with who i do/dont find attractive#it also happens.... less than id expect. but when it does happen its a very strong Ohhhhhh. Ohoho Hi Heyyyy<3 moment#BUT OH ITS SO FUN TO BE UNLABELABLE#thats not a word! except yes it is!#i take the boxes people try to put me in. i make a sickass fort outta them & add blankets and pillows & paint#there is a drawbridge and a moat. and origami dragons!#its so so fun#but also very annoying on the rare occasion im asked what i am#like! fuck if i know! this is my first time being alive! its none of my business! i have bigger omelets to burn!#its like....#'are you gay' yes but also no 'are you a lesbian' yes but also no 'are you bi' yes but also no 'are you-' Yes But Also No.#again: wildcard.#absolutely unprompted#its like... oh man if i wasnt so squeamish about syringes i could make my gender Soooo Me <3#bc i want a deeper voice but i like my body how it is. mostly. its literally just my voice that i dont like#& facial hair would be nice but also do i want to deal with the hassle that is shaving. no i do not <3#still i cherish the two hairs i have on my chin. theyre so neat#i wish skirts were comfortable. i need a better eyeliner pen. i need more tank tops and a good binder. i want to confuse people#and then like... women with deep voices and men who're all dolled up and ambiguous folks who are so visibly queer-#there is so much to love everywhere and i do not care for the generally excepted/used fences people keep putting up#im ripping up their signs and kicking over the fences. Let Us Roam Free Range#shoutout to all my fellow Idk What The Fuck I Am And I Like It That Way homies. we're so funky#and you're So fucking valid. you don't need a label and you don't need a description. you are so so so awesome and rad as hell
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woe trans fwhip headcannons be upon ye. not pictured is fwhip going home and immediately taking the empires equivalents of an "am i gay" and "am i trans" quiz.
[Image ID: A three panel comic on a light blue background.
Panel 1 shows Fwhip, a young white trans man wearing a victorian lolita dress that is black with a white breast panel, black lace, and a red brooch. It has a high and ruffle-y collar. He has a short red bob, green eyes, and freckles. He has a neutral expression and is looking to the side. There are two arrows pointing to him with text. The first arrow reads: "Fwhip, 16, visiting Pixandria for the first time." The second arrow reads: "Hasn't figured it out yet but [drawing of the gay flag] + [drawing of the trans flag]".
Panel 2 shows Pix, a young tan person wearing a long tan jacket, copper shoulder armor, a brown undershirt, and gold dangly earrings. They are also wearing a pointy copper crown. He has dark brown eyes, dark brown hair that is kept in a ponytail draped over their right shoulder, and a beard. They are smiling and waving. There are two arrows pointing to them with text. The first reads: "Pix, 21, certified pretty boy (gn)". The second arrow depicts the aro ace flag and the agender flag.
Panel 3: Fwhip is looking up at Pix with star eyes and shocked expression. Pix is looking down at him with a smile. There is an arrow pointing to Fwhip reading "just had multiple awakenings". There is an arrow pointing to Pix reading "knows full well but is gonna let this happen naturally". End ID]
#empires smp#empires season 1#empires fanart#fwhip#pixlriffs#empireshipping#just to be safe even though this is SO tame#hes not even blushing#i have so many thoughts about the emperors and the fact that they are All trans#pix is the oldest emperor so he has caused similar awakenings for at least four other emperors#(scott's gay awakening+joel's bi awakening+sausage's trans awakening+katherine's trans awakening (in the other direction))#he also helped jimmy unlock his full gender potential but in a different way from them (just talked to him about it a lot)#it's also important to me that you know that fwhip cut that bob himself#he used to have crazy long hair like gem but impulse cut it and his dad Hates it#(i have so many thoughts about young fwhip+young roseblings in general)#also you’re not allowed to say anything about any inconsistencies in this#i made it from 1:45-3:15 am ish i’m allowed
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I keep having to pause the game because. Wow. He is so pretty.
#ash rambles 💚#shark attack 🦈!#WHAT A MAN...#he's so unbelievably handsome!!! I'm always so giggly whenever I'm playing#i love his hair a lot#i wish we got to see him with his hair down.. ash probably gets to see that! speaking of which. my s/i for this game is a real treat#it takes r.yoma a lot time to really break down those icy walls of hers. their first interaction was her almost killing him you see-#but she's a very affectionate and fun partner once they get there! she disguises herself as a man around when you meet her and r.yoma thinks#something about how he's really handsome AND deadly. then he finds out she's a woman and has a 'woah. she's pretty AND deadly'#he's much too bi for this-#but yeah ajdjaksja I've been playing a lot of his game! it's super fun! i love him a lot! he's so cool too#he went on this giant speech in a sidequest about how much he respects women. and had another about how racism is bad#it's the bare minimum i know but the game is very historical so- good job r.yoma!!!#anyways yeah#r.yoma is very hot 👍🏽 and although i love the gameplay and plot of the game... i am very distracted.#my finger is perpetually on the screenshot button. i need him so bad.#also i think i have a crush on another y.akuza character......... but whatever lol#the first picture.. the bath scene... AAJDJWJDJQJS ohhh the urge to kiss him all over..
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stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
#personal#SAW A POST. LOST MY MIND#''nothing changed u mistook a man for a butch and were attracted to them so really youre just small minded and should be okay with that#attraction bc clearly you hate yourself <3''#This Is The Lesbophobia We Are Talking About When You Guys Pretend We Cant Have Boundaries#like ohhh ishould just love a man instead <3 i should change my sexuality for you <3 i should just fuck guys huh <3#how fucking dismissive of our experiences. how deeply sick and disgusting of you. i hope ur an adult so i wont feel bad ripping ur hair out#like how dare you! how dare you tell me NOTHING changed. how dare you look me in the eye and tell me that its the same#its not! its not. sorry some people are comfortable with labels that assert boundaries xoxo to you but im a lesbian bc i like women. not bc#i have an aesthetic attraction to a person. if i see a butch i think oh! a butch! a fellow lesbian! and am attracted#turns out to be a guy? oh! not a butch! not a fellow lesbian! nevermind :) and omg i am so normal for that <333#like god. GOD. what a fucking piece of shit to tell lesbians we should just Let ourselves be attracted to men bc we secretly do anyway#top ten reasons i hate associating with ppl who flout no labels like it works for you im glad but you keep shoving that down my throat#and im going to commit vehicular manslaughter#i have boundaries for a reason! i am attracted to women! i dont like men! WHAT IS SO HARD TO GET THROUGH YOUR HEAD#stop TELLING every lesbian theyre secretly bi but theyre repressing and too attached to the label i will FUCKING kill you#ANYWAY. IGNORE ME LMFAO
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Im pretty sure James from Team Rocket made me trans
#it was the way he looked at that rose so affectionately#like damn I wanted that gender#god said evil and hot and I want it too#I'm only making this connection now but i was/am fully planning on dyeing my hair purple when I’m older FUCK#Jesse planted the seed in my head about Women but my gay realisation was most definitely muffet from undertale so she can’t get full credit#however muffet is a different story and it’s not being told today#James made me bi after Jesse looked me dead in the eyes and told me about women#trans#I’m a bit dillusional rn I’m really sorry about this I’m going to sleep after I finish the tags#lgbtq+#Pokémon#team rocket#shitpost#Pokémon anime
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"i am fairly certain that my coworker thinks that i'm homophobic because i told another coworker that i wouldn't want to wear the company pride shirt at work for my own safety because of my appearance" sounds like a plot for a sitcom episode, but it's a real dilemma that occured and here we are
#like man i am a whole ass blue-haired twink#like we are frequented by seniors especially. and w the shit in america the societal impacts worry me#had to explain what happened to a friend in management because i was so worried i'd literally lose my job over a thing said because im bi#'you can't say things like that.' about. my own safety?#anyway i'm wearing the shirt as i type this it's nice#text#rambles
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Re tags of my previous post, and im possibly about to put my foot in my mouth, I'm like really hoping they don't make Sabine romantically pine after Ezra. Reeeeeeallly hoping they'll canonically say Sabine is queer and let her b with, like, not a man
#instead of like. basically her brother in the found family structure#also i think shes a wlw#so even if they do wind her up romantically w ezra i hope that she will like#be acknowledged as queer#(im bi yes i do know bi women can b w men before anyone comes at me w pitchforks)#and theres also commentary about like ...#signaling queerness through hairstyles????#thought forming tho#i am a queer woman w long fashion colored hair#so i look at women w funky colored hair and go ''gay????'' so. could be my bias#anyway#all this to say sabine is queer. thabk you
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.
#so apparently one of my (distant enough that i haven’t met him) cousins is a trans man and the reason i found this out#is that my grandparents were talking about how he got married in a suit and how ‘the pictures look ridiculous’ and they were misgendering#him the whole time. and i was trying to stick up for him like.. this is clearly important to him? he’s just being himself#and they were like ‘yeah but [he] looks stupid’ as if that fucking negates their transphobia somehow#as if a cis man has never looked fucking stupid in a suit. like. stop with this#and this was so depressing to hear because i was like wow… i can never come out to them huh. like i don’t think i can even tell them i’m bi#and i don’t think i AM trans but like… genderfluid maybe??#i get insane amounts of gender envy from men but also sometimes i really enjoy the fact that i look like a renaissance woman#and my heart just ACHES when i see someone looking effortlessly androgynous because my body refuses to do that#i’m built like if jessica rabbit got really into cake during quarantine. and i really wish i wasn’t#but there is no way i can change it lol. not unless everyone gets really cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly#sometimes i do wonder what it would take for me to pass honestly. i mean i’m already 6’1 which helps. square jawline#i’d have to have top surgery though. there’s no bindee in the world that’s flattening me without also suffocating me#i feel like if i went on T i’d get facial hair like immediately considering the genetics of men in my family. i just hope i’d keep my dad’s#hairline. he never went bald and neither has my brother but my granddad and uncle are both bald as eggs#i wish i could shapeshift.#personal
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Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.
This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.
[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text "Good Bi Gender", the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person's face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: "Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can't call me she/her. And here's why." Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.
Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. "I don't want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon." The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an "X" through it. Text next to it reads: “People don't seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though... Or they think even worse of them than that…”
Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don't like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy... I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I'm still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”
Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It's both! I'm both! They're not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I'm both despite the insistence that I can't be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that's all I will get from most. Because it's "easier". It "makes more sense". To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don't, I will never get to have he.” [The words "she" and "he" are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I'm still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]
Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!
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#my guilt vs my discomfort FIGHT#but nah my almost boyfriend (long story he's the bi dude from before) is kinda upset with me#and like i get it yeah#because yesterday we were texting and sharing memes and sends 'by the way do you give good head...rubs?' typed like that#and for context i've been like. hair trigger emotions lately#because of the whole dad not inviting me to his wedding thing and my sister and her kids and husband were in a rollover car crash#and they're having a hard time finding a doctor who'll take the car insurance or w/e just to write a note to get them off work#and he knows all this and how freaked out i am because we've had phone calls because i'm like 'i just need to talk to another person'#and the joke is kinda funny i guess but it wasn't related at all and i just left it on read#and then this morning it's 'You're really all mad at me over one little joke'#and he's like 'if it upset you we should talk about it' and i'm like 'well i guess it's just the way you said it'#and he responds with 'well i was just joking'#and like. idk i was getting over the joke because like. it's not that bad it just brought up bad memories that were already kinda up#but idk it just feels like he's just dismissing that i'm upset and the 'we should talk about it' to 'i was just joking' pissed me off#like motherfucker you're the one who wanted to talk let's talk#i was so willing to fucking ignore it this morning but just his fucking response#so that's the discomfort and i would just be like 'if we can't solve this we shouldn't be dating'#but the guilt comes in because he's had other relationships where the girl seemed really into him then just ghosted#and he told me about it because it upset him and we've been having to push dating back because of my license and family shit#and it's been messing with his anxiety and making him overthink#which i am not upset with him for#but! he knows i have a shitty history with guys and he knows i wasn't comfortable with that joke and his response is just sticking with it
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All I could think while drawing Nami was, “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?” And, of course, with Robin I was thinking, “save a horse… 🥵”
Design Notes and other opining below the cut:
For Nami, I wanted to go for a mix of cocky Jersey mafia newbie and surfer boy. I like to think that some of the horrendous outfit choices that Sanji makes (especially in the movies) were actually picked out by Nami. She’s the shopper!!! But yeah, the vibrant swim trunks and graphic tees just scream Nami. I also wanted to put him in a wetsuit/rash guard because I think that’s a sexy look so sue me if you hate it. You cannot argue with me that Nami doesn’t wear swimsuits as clothes.
He’s toned but not as muscular as Robin or Luffy (for example) because he isn’t a front-line fighter, I want him to maintain the same kind of role that Nami has in the animanga. He’s the best navigator in the world!! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to change the violent tendencies that Nami has, but ultimately I think he’d still give the more deserving members of the crew a healthy wallop (although I might portray it more cartoonishly). Boy Piece!Nami still grew up under Arlong’s authority so he spent a lot of his childhood walking on eggshells to protect his village and his brother, Nojiko, so I think he never really got to learn “you’re not supposed to hit people just because they frustrate you” lesson. I gave him a shark-tooth necklace because surely Arlong had a few loose teeth to spare once Luffy took her down. Victory spoils LOL
If he can get the girls to stop wrestling and sit down quietly for a while, he likes to host card games (with betting, of course) or watch the clouds while sipping whatever fruity cocktail Sanji whips up. I believe that Canon!Nami is a total lesbian, and I can’t possibly envision a Nami who doesn’t like women so Boy Piece!Nami is bi. I am, of course, a Namivivi truther and Vivi is also a man in this AU. I don’t hate Sanami within this dynamic though… lots to think about.
Okay!!! All-shipper mindset aside, let’s talk Robin. I gave him long hair because 1) it’s hot and 2) I think it makes him look like Dragon. Yeahhh, I subscribe to the Luffy and Robin are half-siblings theory because I think it’s funny and makes some sense. Crocodile is 100% Luffy’s Mom in this AU and I think Robin knows it LOL
For his outfits, I wanted to lean a bit more Indiana Jones where I could; he’s still primarily cowboy inspired though. For the main look, I went with the Skypeia color palette hehe, I think Robin looks good in yellow. I did some flower-petal shaped color blocking on his chaps because I think it’s cute and subtle. I really love that the powers of the Hana-Hana-no-mi are like… unexpected for a “flower flower” fruit and I think Robin would be more aware that juxtaposition as a guy. You might also be wondering about the gloves and I initially just had it for his cowboy look but I decided to put them on all the outfits up until the events of Enies Lobby. Canon!Robin has a really difficult childhood and I think it’s exacerbated by the fact that she’s a girl on her own. If Robin was a boy, he’d probably have an easier time living on his own but would be a lot less emotionally open. All of these elements combine to make him want that physical barrier between his real hands and the world. Once he can trust that the Strawhats will always be there for him, he’s more willing to be more physically open.
I also think it’d be cute if he was much more of a coffee drinker :3c I see Canon!Robin as a connoisseur who likes a well-brewed espresso but Boy Piece!Robin needs a cup of joe (no matter its quality) every chance he can get. So I drew him with his special #1 ARCHAEOLOGIST mug.
It would make me so happy if you left your thoughts in the tags or replies!! Even if you hate everything about them, I just really like engagement hahaha. I’m thinking girl Usopp is next despite the poll results because she’s on my mind rn (don’t hold me to this, LOL I’m fickle). I’m making these for fun so I just wanna make designs in the order that interests me the most. Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog to see all the genderbends I have so far. And happy pride!!!
#one piece#girl piece#cat burglar nami#nico robin#boy nami#boy robin#nami#robin#east blue#enies lobby#alabasta#namivivi#sanami#boy piece#character design#one piece fanart#op fanart#digital art#luffy#girl piece original design
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