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vanderlindemorgans · 4 years

Text

dark blue tennessee

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 4.8k

Summary: It was one thing being without him while he was alive. It was another to lose him all together

Warnings: Major character death, grief-induced alcoholism, descriptions of blood and injuries, vague allusions to suicide. None of this is beta read so please don’t shoot me for any grammatical errors!

None of this seemed real to you. None of it felt real. It would have brought you some comfort if it wasn’t - that way you could reason with yourself that this was all the result of some horrific nightmare, that’d you’d wake up with a small gasp in his arms, safe and away from whatever dark terror had enveloped your mind. You weren’t one to usually have nightmares but when you did he would always be there, his embrace warm and tight, a single hand running through your hair in a soft pattern, and his unmistakable southern drawl whispering into your ear.

This wasn’t a dream however. No matter how wrong it felt, how surreal and horrific the whole situation was, it was all real. Perched on the edge of a barstool, you glanced over at the almost empty bottle of whiskey beside you. You thought it would take the pain away, dull your senses and let you pretend for two seconds that he wasn’t really gone, but if anything, the whiskey made it worse. Everything reminded you of him, day in and day out, every morning you woke up and all you could notice was that he wasn’t there. His clothes were, his Stetson perched on a hook on the back of your bedroom door, his stupid belt buckle that you’d always mocked him for...but not him. You couldn’t bear to box away any of it. It may bring you pain to see all these items laid out, as if they were expecting their owner to return someday, but shoving it all in the back of a closet seemed so...disrespectful to you. It would be almost the same as forgetting him in your mind, and you refused to.

It had been only two weeks since you first received that fateful call, the one that you prayed to high heavens you would never hear. Thank god you were home when you got the call - if you’d been out with your friends, or heaven forbid at work you don’t know what you would have done. It was a moment that you often replayed over in your mind, if for nothing more than the torture of reminding yourself of the day you had broke like glass shattered on a white cloth.

Trailing the pad of your finger over the edge of your glass, you tossed your head back as you downed yet another glass of liquor. Every detail of that memory stuck out to you, even the most insignificant things that no one else would ever mention. You’d taken the day off work, already feeling shitty straight up from the moment the day had begun. You’d been making something to eat, just some toast because you couldn’t be bothered with anything else, and right when you were searching the fridge for a jar of jam you had heard the phone ring.

Without a second thought you’d scooped it up in your hands and answered it, thinking it would be one of your friends calling to try to get you to come out with them to some bar or something that night. You hadn’t guessed it would be anything important. “Hello?”.

“Hi, am I speaking to Y/N?”. You furrowed your brow at the response, not immediately recognising the voice. You considered hanging up for a brief moment but something in you told you to stay on the line.

“You are. I’m sorry, who is this?”.

“My name is Ginger Ale. I’m a colleague of your partner, Jack Daniels. I’m very sorry to have to inform you this way, but he’s perished in a horrible incident”.

Everything around you seemed to collapse in that moment. The whole world might as well have fallen away around you the minute you heard those words. It was a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It often comes so suddenly, and so unexpected that you feel like you’re climbing the stairs to your room in the dark, thinking there’s just one more step than there actually is, and feeling yourself plummet down into the abyss below. It was nothing like you’d ever experienced before - you might as well have been falling deep into the shadowy chasm right at the moment. Your grip on the phone tightened as you struggled to find the words, or any words really, to say in response as tears started to gather around the corners of your eyes. “W-what? What do you mean...he’s…” you trembled, stumbling on your feet as you fell against the wall in a daze, the world somehow seeming both screaming loud and quiet all at once.

“He was injured badly during his last mission - multiple gunshot wounds from a certain run in with a couple of gangsters. He was...he was barely alive when we brought him in” Ginger explained, trying her best to comfort you but you barely took any notice of her words as the same thought played over in your head. He’s gone. He’s dead. He’s fucking dead, and you could have stopped it. It’s all your fault.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to have that weird gel stuff that heals gunshot wounds? Surely...surely he could have been saved, right?” you asked frantically, your cheeks streaked with tears and flushed with grief. It took everything in you not to fall apart right then and there, dropping the phone to the floor and screaming out in sheer agony of the pain that was ripping through you.

“Not this time, sadly. I’m really sorry, Y/N”. There was a small pause on the other end of the line before Ginger spoke again, her tone indicating her hesitance at divulging such information to you. “He also insisted that we don’t bother, that he knew his time was up with this one. I was watching him on this mission - he went into it all quite recklessly, which isn’t completely new for him but…”.

“But?” you asked, prompting her to finish her sentence but she never did. A heavy silence hung between the both of you, punctured lightly by the sound of your heavy breath which you tried desperately to keep in check. Some small part of you was still in some sort of disbelief, wanting to fervently deny that any of this was happening. This is just a dream right? I’ll wake up back in bed, I’ll get up and call Jack, and he’ll be alive and well. None of this is real. It can’t be real...

“I want to see him. Please, just let me see him. Let me at least say goodbye”.

You hadn’t taken much notice of your surroundings on your way to Statesman Headquarters - everything might as well have been a blur to you from the moment you stepped through the doors to the second you walked off the platform of the elevator towards the medical wing. As soon as you spotted him all sense of decorum and logic was thrown out the window, any sense of composure melting away to nothing the very second his body came into view. Ginger had been beside you, probably as a general gesture to ensure you wouldn’t entirely lose it once you gained a single glimpse of him but alas, as soon as the elevator pulled to a stop and the doors pulled open to reveal a lifeless Agent Whiskey lain across the stretcher, everything you had ever known seemed to fall to pieces from under you. It was as if your entire world had collapsed, had stopped revolving the minute you laid eyes on his lifeless form. Without another seconds hesitation you rushed towards him, tears beginning to cascade down your cheeks as you bore witness to the unfortunate result of the tragedy that had struck.

It was as if the floodgates had opened right then and there - once you started crying, the tears just wouldn’t stop. With every ounce of your being you wished that somehow, by some godforsaken miracle, your touch would bring him back, that his eyes would magically flutter open and would greet you with those enchanting brown eyes that you had come to know every day of your life since the moment you had first met. That he would maybe, if only by the simple wish of your heart, say the one thing you were always angling to hear truthfully, in a way that you could put more than a simple faith in. As if you were a broken record, you couldn’t stop repeating his name over and over, like if by some divine intervention that alone would turn the clock back and have him lying next to you, his hand caressing your cheek and firing one of his signature flirty quips at you as you woke up in bed, catching a whiff of that ever-present scent of whiskey that mixed beautifully with his cologne. If only it were that simple. If only that were possible.

Instead you laid a hand against his cold forehead, now devoid of any warmth of life it once felt. Some would say that the dead looked almost peaceful in a way but you saw none of that: even in death Jack somehow looked anguished, like there was something left behind that he wanted to say but simply couldn’t go back to.

“I can’t feel you anymore…” you murmured, your voice wobbling violently. Leaning down towards him, you cradled his head between your palms, whispering his name softly and feeling your own tears decorate his cheeks. Ginger, or maybe somebody else, said something in the background that you couldn’t take any notice of, your mind fixated only on the man you loved and the unfortunate reality that presented itself to you now.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

The funeral had only been held a week afterwards. From a planning perspective, it was easy to organise his final affairs - for whatever reason you’d been named as the executor of his will, a fact that came as a shock to you once you had been served the information by the attorney. The two of you weren’t ever married, although you had attempted to float the idea once or twice, and his mother was still alive so it seemed odd to you that of all people to be left in charge of his estate Jack chose you. Emotionally, it had been a taxing revelation for you: on top of having to carry the stinging pain of finding out the man you loved had died, you had to be the one organising his affairs. You knew after leaving the medical wing of Statesmans Headquarters that day that you wanted nothing more than to let your own sorrow overcome you and let yourself fade out of existence, his voice haunting your every waking moment until you finally decided to let go entirely and throw yourself off the brink of insanity. That’s what you felt you deserved anyway.

His funeral had been the worst of it. You had silently prayed that maybe you would have numbed yourself out a bit. The most agonising part of it all were the hoards of people coming up to you asking how you were. It took everything in you to stop yourself from confessing everything. If they knew, they’d hate you. They’d blame you. The gossip would start, the theories and rumours flying high, the whispers you could hear in your head as if they were real. Somehow you’d pulled through, despite the inclination to break down at any given moment. But of course, that wasn’t the end. You’d buried him, now you had to face the mortifying reality of living without him.

With every passing day the memories became stronger. You never told any of them what had happened the last time you saw Jack - you couldn’t tell them. It had been eating at you from the inside ever since you picked up the phone that cursed day, tearing apart your mind and leaving nothing in its wake but heartbreaking grief and despair. It’s your fault. You’re the reason this happened. If you two hadn’t fought, if you hadn’t told him to fuck off on the phone that night, he wouldn’t have gone on that mission. You killed him. You’re a murderer.

All of these thoughts and more wormed their way between different glasses of whiskey, letting you lose track of both time and how many glasses you had. No matter how much you drank though it never dulled the grief nor the guilt that you’d been torturing yourself with from the moment you woke up every day to the moment you went to sleep. Actually, even in your sleep you couldn’t escape it, being plagued by nightmares and the like increasing in degrees of terror the longer they went on. It was why you now avoided any sort of conscious effort to sleep, only succumbing when you’d become so drunk that you had bent yourself over the back of the couch and cried as much as your body would let.

You swore to never let anyone know what had happened, that Jack and you had technically broken up a few days before his death. It already ate at you enough that you had to run over the memories in your mind, every last word you spat at him on repeat for your own infinite suffering. “It feels like wherever we go, she’s there. And she’s so beautiful, and perfect, and dead. I can’t compete with a ghost, Jack”. Scowling to yourself, you scooped up your glass and took yet another sip, feeling nothing but regret towards how everything played out. You didn’t regret what you said - on some level, you still felt it was true. You knew Jack would forever hold a candle for his ex-wife, but you’d grown tired of feeling like you were second place to a dead woman, as if the only reason he kept you around at all was to fill a void that could only truly be filled by the one person he could never have back. It had been selfish of you, in some way, but you’d deserved more. You loved Jack with everything you had, and you wanted him to feel the same way back, and although he swore he did you could plainly see that wasn’t the case.

“Darlin’, please, don’t be like this. You’re my only love and you know that. You’re being ridiculous about all this”

“Then why do you still wear your ring? Why do you get dismissive whenever I try to bring up moving in together, or marriage, or anything. It’s been two fucking years of this. You can do whatever you want, Jack but I’ll tell you one thing: you’ll be doing it alone. I’m out”.

“For fucks sake…” you cursed, slamming your glass back down on the table with a loud thud, your words slurred beyond all comprehension. A few drops of whiskey sloshed out of the glass onto the countertop, creating a small puddle on the marbled surface but you didn’t much care. What was the point in caring anyway?

You still had to pack up his home, a reminder that only contributed to your pain. You were supposed to have taken care of that before now, at least a week ago but you couldn’t bring yourself to enter his home. I’ll do it tomorrow...maybe. Yeah, tomorrow. Deciding firmly on that, you sipped the last of the liquor and stumbled off the seat of the barstool, the world spinning around you as you fumbled your way through the dim light of your apartment to where your bedroom was, throwing your intoxicated body amongst the heap of unmade bed sheets and burying yourself within them, crying until you passed out in a deep slumber.

Standing outside the door to Jack’s penthouse apartment, you stared forward with a muted expression upon your face, the key to his place gripped firmly between your fingers as if it would disappear from your hands at any moment. You’d been there for a good five minutes by then, meaning to break out of your state of catatonia to only be stopped again by yourself, kicking off a seemingly endless cycle in which you remained stuck in front of his door. You knew you had to go in there eventually: it wasn’t like everything of his would magically disappear if you just ignored it. It was still hard though, since you knew the moment you stepped through the door you’d be hit by the unmistakable scent of him. Almost like you were crossing a threshold of sorts, only with a feeling of emptiness on the other side instead of anything resembling happiness. Seeing his things would only remind you of how he wasn’t there among them, where he should be, which spiralled onto other thoughts, such as reminiscing on his gorgeous brown eyes and that honeyed southern accent you adored on him, and everything else that once made your heart spark with love. You felt your breath tremble as your knuckles turned white from holding the key with such might. This was a bad idea. You weren’t ready for this. Maybe you should just go home and call it a day.

No. You have to do this now. You might as well rip the bandaid off, lord knows you’ll have to do it eventually anyway.

Keeping your breath paced, you raised your shaking hand to the lock of the day, slowly inserting the key and twisting it until you heard the unmistakable click inside. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you pushed open the double doors and pulled yourself inside, your high heels clicking on the linoleum floors.

Everything was exactly how you’d last seen it, how Jack had last left it. Not that you expected any different of course. The only people who had probably been there in the past two weeks since his death were people from Statesman to collect various bits of the agency's technology and other gadgets Jack had left lying about. You never knew much about his life as part of the secret service: during your relationship Jack had preferred to stay off the subject of his job as much as possible. He even said himself that you shouldn’t have known about his double life in the first place but when it became too obvious that keeping it from you was going to hurt your relationship with him in the long term he’d sought permission from his boss to have you cleared on the most basic of intel. That never bothered you in the slightest - the least you knew about the agency, the better, a view Jack wholeheartedly agreed with you on. You didn’t know him as Agent Whiskey, top agent to Statesman Secret Service trained in espionage. You knew him as Jack Daniels, the cocky womanizer who chased anything in a skirt, the gentleman who had always managed to sweep you off your feet whenever he was around, and the man you had once dreamt of marrying before things went south.

All around you were familiar places and objects, things that brought back so many memories yet felt hollow and empty as you looked upon them now. If things were right, he’d be there too, perhaps in the kitchen preparing dinner for you, knowing that you couldn’t resist coming over again even if it was the third time that week. Or maybe he’d be on the couch, reclining back with a glass of whiskey and a book, turning his head back to take a gander at you, shooting one of his signature smirks and making a remark about how incredibly gorgeous you looked. Without him, the space felt sullen and void of life, the dust settling on every surface from remaining untouched for two whole weeks by then.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward and tried as best you could to sort out your thoughts, detaching it as much as you were able to from the memories being back in that apartment brought. His mother already came to you and asked to have a box of certain things belonging to Jack given to her. You knew she was already going through a hell of a rough time herself, her only son winding up dead. She never knew about his life as an agent, being fed a cover story by Statesmans team in order to maintain their secrecy. A bit of you felt jealous of her for that. She would never know the truth, whereas you had to live every day for the rest of your life knowing what happened, being made aware of your own part to play in his fate every hour, every minute, every second.

The rest of it, well, you had no idea what to do with it. You thought it would be best to box up as much of his personal items as you could, either to keep for yourself or to hand back to his family, and arrange to have the rest of the furniture sold or given away to a charity shop or something. Moving towards the living room, you began to scoop up the different framed photos you found around the apartment. Some were of him as a kid, either on a horse or in different shots with his family, already sporting that heart melting smile of his. A lot of them were of you and him on various dates - one you stopped to pour over was of the two of you at a diner in Brooklyn, you taking the photo and Jack taking a sneaky swipe of your sundae in the background while you were distracted. You remembered that day so well: he’d just come back from a particularly rough mission in Russia, one that he’d had to stake out for weeks, so it was the first time you’d seen each other in about a month. You looked at how happy you were in that picture, the sight of such joy bringing tears to the corners of your eyes. What you wouldn’t give to have those days back, the easier times, before the distance, the fights, the feelings of being second place to a ghost and of course, his own tragic death at the end of it all.

At last you made your way to his bedroom, clutching onto the stack of photo frames as if they were a lifeline. You fought with everything in you the urge to just drop everything and crash down onto his bed, cradling one of his shirts in your hands to try to get a whiff of him, pretending that he was still there for only a few seconds. Rather, you walked over towards his bedside table and set the stack of frames down, crouching to your knees and biting back the teardrops threatening to fall from your eyes. It’s ok. You don’t have to do it all in one go. Just gather together some of his personal stuff, and then you can leave.

Opening the drawer, your eyes flitted between the various trinkets and things he’d accumulated, searching to see if there were anything personal that his family might want back when your gaze was instantly drawn to a stark white letter shoved towards the back of the drawer. Scooping it up in your hands, you furrowed your brow as you inspected it further, only to have your breath catch in your throat once you saw your name written in his unmistakable cursive on the front.

Immediately you stood yourself up from the floor, your mind rushing into overdrive while you stared at the letter in your palms, hesitantly trailing your fingers up to the top of the envelope to tear it open. Out of all the things to find in Jack’s drawer, you definitely weren’t expecting this. You had no clue what it could be, when it was written or even if you should read it at all. Should you just put it back in the drawer and pretend you never found it? Though you supposed it was a bit too late for that, on account of you practically ripping the top of it open. With a hint of uncertainty, you reached into the envelope and lifted the letter out onto your lap, opening it to reveal its contents.

The first thing you noticed was the date in the top right corner - April 22, two weeks ago, a day before he went on that mission and met an unkind fate. That alone was enough to make your heart stop, so when your eyes travelled down the page to read the rest of the letter, you might as well have dropped dead right then and there from the sheer pain that was struck through your heart.

I was a damn fool for letting you get away. You and I both know that my dearly departed wife will always hold a special place in my heart, and I know you understand that. I didn’t want to admit it until now but I had been becoming distant - every time you brought up marriage, or anything more I’d get scared. Scared of...well, a lot of different things. Of repeating the same tragedy with you, in some way. Some part of me was worried marrying you would be dishonoring my late wife’s memory as well. It’s no wonder you walked out when you did. I don’t blame you for your choice, but please allow me to say my piece at least. You never were second to anyone, sweetheart. As much as I will always love Lily, my heart belongs to you here and now. Missing you like this is such sweet sorrow, won’t you come back to me? No matter whether or not you chose to forgive me, or even entertain the idea of givin’ me another chance, I just want you to know that I love you, honeybee. I’ll be waiting for you today, tomorrow, and forever, down in dark blue Tennessee.

- Jack

Every word you read was like another stab to the heart for you, the tears that you had fought so hard to keep in now pouring down your cheeks, small sobs escaping your throat as you collapsed back to the floor with a thud, your heart racing a million miles a minute. There it was, all written down in hasty cursive script - the apology that he never got to give, hidden away in the back of his bedside drawer like an afterthought. Knowing him he’d probably written it out and intended to give it to you before he left for his mission but decided against it for whatever reason. And that final sentence...Tennessee. He mentioned Tennessee. The place where you’d grown up, where you’d lived almost your entire life before moving to New York. The place where you’d met Jack all those years ago, down in a local bar. You’d been visiting your parents for the week, he’d been there meeting with an investor for Statesman. By some stroke of luck you two had crossed paths, hitting it off and becoming infatuated within mere moments, one thing leading to another until eventually you’d woken up in his bed the next morning. The way you’d initially thought it’d only wanted a one night stand but then became something more. It was all flooding back to you now, triggered by only a few sentences written down on a letter that was never sent. You didn’t know what to do, or what to think. The only thing you could do in that moment was lean your head back against the bed and choke on your own sobs, muttering his name over and over for what felt like forever, holding the now crumpled and tear stained letter in your hands.

The hours ticked by, though you took no notice, and when you do eventually move, it’s not to leave the apartment. Your eyes barely leave the ground when you walk, stumbling from room to room in search of a bottle of wine or something stronger to drown your own sorrows in, kicking off your shoes haphazardly and without much care. When you bump against the liquor cabinet, you can hear something fall and shatter off the top, and when you walk back through the shards of glass with the bottles in your hands, you don’t even wince when one pierces your foot. With thin streams of blood trickling from the cut on your sole, you’ll flick the top off the first bottle you reach for, letting the lukewarm liquid slip down your throat, spiralling you down deeper and deeper into a drunken stupor until finally, the moment comes where you can close your eyes and slip into that familiar void of darkness that you greeted with open arms, those last conscious thoughts being an apology of your own that no one ever got to hear. I’m sorry, Jack...

#agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #Kingsman #kingsman fanfiction #Kingsman: the golden circle #Pedro Pascal

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jeonsjiddies · 4 years

Text

8 letters | knj (m)

summary- If all it is is eight letters. Why is it so hard to say? If all it is is eight letters, why am I in my own way? Why do I pull you close and then ask you for space? If all it is is eight letters, why is it so hard to say?

8 letters - why don't we

or, emotionally constipated Namjoon is too scared to admit he's in love with you.

rating- explicit 18+

word count- 6071

pairing- namjoon x reader

genre- fluff, smut, angst

Warnings: mentions of jimin x reader, daddy kink, rough sex, edging, jealous Namjoon

a/n: thanks again to @sweetnspicy93 for beta reading and helping me bounce ideas back and forth. Love you <3

Find Jimin’s happy ending here (both stories can be read alone.)

Namjoon typically thought of himself as a pretty intelligent man. He was clumsy, but he was competent. He could solve an equation in his head in under a minute, he’d learned English on his own. He could read a novel in a few hours, and constantly sought out new knowledge. Namjoon was book smart. When it came to love though, Namjoon felt like an idiot.

He wasn’t in denial or anything, he was aware of how he felt and he could name it. It’s not like Namjoon didn’t know he was in love with you, he just couldn’t bring himself to tell you. He wanted to, god he wanted to. He wanted to tell you everything and pull you into his arms and show you everything he’d bottled inside over the past few years.

If he could just shut off his brain long enough to throw caution to the wind, he would tell you everything. If he could stop thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong, he would take a chance. If he could stop worrying about ruining everything, he would do something. But Namjoon can’t figure out how to turn his brain off, so he just sits. And stares.

You’d met Namjoon in college, both of you timid freshmen in a large lecture class who got paired together for a research paper. Namjoon had never seen a more beautiful woman in his life, and spent far more time looking at you than looking up sources to site for your paper. You were pretty sure your cheeks never went back to normal after that, permanently painted a slight shade of pink at the handsome man who couldn’t stop watching you.

Despite the heat in your cheeks and the way Namjoon couldn’t keep his eyes off you, you both quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm. You’d never felt so close with someone so fast in your life. Strangers one day, best friends the next. You felt like you’d known each other your entire lives within a matter of days. You’d both spent the entirety of your college career attached at the hip, and you still were to this day.

Now, you shared a two bedroom apartment with your best friend and spent every moment you could together. You never got tired of each other’s company. Lately though, you’d noticed Namjoon was acting a little weird. Namjoon wasn’t shy when it came to affection, and would often pull you into a hug or let you cuddle up to him while you watched a film together.

But the past few weeks he had been very hot and cold. He’d pull you in for a cuddle then stiffen and shuffle away, avoiding your gaze. He’d lean into your touch when you played with his hair then squirm away and mumble apologies before disappearing into his room for the rest of the night. It felt like Namjoon was pulling away from you and it was breaking your heart. You didn’t know what you were doing wrong. You were determined to revive your friendship to its’ former glory.

“Joonie!” you called, shouting down the hall as you made your way towards his room.

You knocked lightly on the door and he called for you to come in. His head lifted to look at you as you hopped your way over to him excitedly.

“What are you doing?” you grinned, leaning over his shoulder and pressing your body against his back as you surveyed the contents of his desk.

Namjoon coughed uncomfortably and leaned away from you. You frowned and stood up straight.

“It’s a proposal for work on Thursday. We’re going to be expanding the marketing department and launching a new social media campaign and they want me to come up with the pitch to give the director for our new campaign.” he explained.

“Why are you working at home?” you asked, your brow furrowing in worry.

“Because I need to have this done in two days.” he sighed.

“Oh Joon, please don’t overwork yourself. Look at the bags under your eyes! Aren’t you exhausted?” you cooed, letting your thumb run under his eye in an attempt to soothe the bags.

Namjoon closed his eyes and sighed happily while leaning into your touch, relishing the feeling of your skin on his for a moment. His breathing seemed to even at the comfort he felt when you were close to him. You smiled fondly at the soft man under your touch before Namjoon snapped back to reality and jerked away from you.

“I should get back to it…” he cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze.

“Joonie…” you sighed, wanting to reach out to him.

“Hm?” he asked, not looking up from his laptop where he typed away.

“Nothing. Good luck with your project.” you sighed.

A few hours later, Joon emerged and immediately fell onto the couch next to you, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck and snuggling up against your frame.

“My head hurts.” he whined.

“You’ve been staring at that computer all day. Of course it does.” you accused, but began running your fingers through his hair gently the way you knew Namjoon loved.

He sighed and leaned into your touch, letting you bring comfort to his aching brain. Namjoon melted into your touch, and you hummed quietly, hoping to soothe the pain at least a little. You hated how hard Namjoon worked, you hated seeing him suffer in any way and just wanted to hold him and make him relax.

Soon, Namjoon’s weight against you grew heavy and you knew he’d fallen asleep. You maneuvered his head off of your shoulder and into your lap so you could watch him. His unconscious body seemed to seek yours out. He snuggled closer to your stomach, resting his cheek against it and smiling. You giggled quietly and let your fingers gently trail over his features.

You traced the bridge of his nose, up over his forehead, and he hummed happily in his sleep. You giggled and let your tender touches float down his cheeks and over his lips. You traced the outline of his full lips more than once, wondering idly what they might feel like against your own. They were soft and thick. You wanted to taste them so badly.

You sighed and moved your fingers back up to his cheeks, starting your journey over again. Between the soft sounds of his even breathing to the warmth of his body on yours, you didn’t really stand a chance and ended up falling asleep too, your hand on his cheek and your head lolled back against the couch.

You woke hours later in your own bed tucked into your duvet. You frowned at the cold air surrounding you and the lack of Namjoon in your arms. You huffed in annoyance and flung the blankets off your body, stalking towards Namjoon��s room to ask him just what his problem was. You were about to fling his door open and give him a piece of your mind when you heard a quiet moan from inside.

Was his headache that bad? Poor Joon. Maybe he’d just needed to lie in a dark place. You cracked the door to glance in and check on him, and froze as your eyes soaked in the sight before you. Namjoon lay naked on his bed, sweat slicked hair stuck to his forehead as his massive hand worked up and down his equally massive dick. Your own hand came to cover your mouth in shock but you couldn’t tear your eyes away.

Joon grunted softly, running his thumb over the tip and jerking his hips at the action. Moisture pooled in your panties while you watched his abdomen constrict with the pressure building as he tugged and moaned. Joon’s moans were sinful, beautiful, melodic. You wanted to draw the lovely sounds from the man, but you just watched him pleasure himself. His breathing picked up pace and his moans turned to whines as he got closer to release. Joon met his high and spurts of white shot from his length as he bit his lip to hold in the loud groan. You quietly shut the door so you wouldn’t get caught peeping on your best friend, but couldn’t shake the image of his body shuddering under his ministrations. The scene played on repeat in your brain the whole night, invading your dreams as well.

***

“You had a sex dream about Namjoon?” Jimin coughed, spitting out a little of the coffee he’d been drinking.

“Yes. Ugh. And… it’s not the first time.” you admitted, avoiding his gaze.

“Ooh, who would’ve thought you were such a dirty girl.” Jimin teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Ughhh. Jimin help me. The dreams didn’t used to be this vivid but when I saw him jerking off the other day-”

“YOU WHAT?” he choked.

“Oh yeah. Ummm… I kinda accidentally watched him masturbate?” you said it like a question.

“Accidentally?” Jimin raised an accusing brow.

“I was checking on him since he had a headache and… I saw him jerking it.” you hid your face in your hands.

“Oh my god.” Jimin laughed. “Wait how big is he?”

“Jimin!” You chastised, but grinned knowingly.

“I knew it. Damn. I feel insecure now. Joon really has it all.” He laughed.

“I’m sure you’re fine.” You giggled. “Now help me!”

“He doesn’t know that you saw, right?” Jimin confirmed.

“No!” You blurted out, a little too loudly for the small cafe.

The barista glared at you. You lowered your tone, sending her an apologetic smile.

“No. I could never look him in the eye again. I’d have to move.” You gushed anxiously.

“I bet he was jacking off to you.” Jimin smirked.

“Oh shut up Jimin. I’m the one with the crush not him.” You sighed.

“Y/N. You’re both clearly into each other and neither of you has enough balls to do anything about it.” Jimin tutted.

“There’s no way.” You shook your head in denial.

“Wanna bet on it?” He smirked. “$50 says he likes you too. He just needs… a push.”

“A push?” You asked.

“Let’s make him jealous.” Jimin grinned.

“How?” You asked, tilting your head to the side in confusion.

“Pretend you’re into me. We’ll flirt in front of him, cuddle a bit, see if he snaps.” Jimin’s eyes sparkled mischievously.

“That will never work because he doesn’t like me.” You argued.

“Well if you’re right you’ll be $50 richer. What do you have to lose?” He shrugged.

“Well… I guess you’re right.” You nodded. “Fine but only to get you to shut up about Joon liking me. And when I win you have to help me get over this weird lusting phase.”

“Phase.” he scoffed “Like you haven’t been dying to get that man inside you for years.”

Your face turned bright red and you flipped him off, but didn’t object with his words. You couldn’t. It’s not that you hadn’t been attracted to Joon before, it was just intensified after the events you witnessed the night before. It seemed to be all you could think about when you looked at him.

So for the next few weeks, you’d slowly introduced PDA with Jimin while watching to see if you got a reaction out of Namjoon. It started off light, hand holding here, a kiss on the cheek there. Namjoon seemed uncomfortable, but not jealous. You were ready to collect your $50 and call it quits but Jimin kept insisting that if you took it a little further, Namjoon would crack and be unable to hold back his jealousy.

And that was how you found yourself on your couch straddling Jimin’s lap.

“Jimin this is stupid.” You whisper-hissed, trying your best not to make contact with his crotch despite your position.

“Trust me, if Joon walks in on this, he’ll lose his shit.” Jimin assured you.

You heard the door unlock and sent Jimin a panicked look. He grabbed your hips and ground your body down on his and quickly moved his lips against your neck to leave a mark on the skin. If you weren’t so gone for Namjoon you might have actually enjoyed it. You did your best to put on a show, leaning your head back and letting out quiet moans.

A loud crash came from the direction of the front door of your shared apartment and you gasped, looking up to see Namjoon frozen in place with his jaw nearly on the floor. The grocery bags he’d been carrying had fallen from his now limp hands. Jimin’s lips stilled against your skin and you both looked towards Namjoon feigning shock.

You scrambled off of Jimin’s lap and stood up, smoothing your clothes. Jimin stayed on the couch, just observing.

“Joon! I didn’t think you’d be home so soon.” You squeaked.

“I-uh… yeah, I just… sorry.” He mumbled, ducking his head down and picking up the spilled groceries.

You dashed over to help, but Namjoon flinched away from you so you backed up and let him finish the task. You gnawed on your lower lip, waiting for him to say something else. You glanced at Jimin who sent you an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.

“If you guys don’t want to be interrupted maybe you should do that in your room, and not the shared living area.” Namjoon finally spoke, trying and failing to hide the venom in his tone.

Jimin stood up, walking over and wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, resting his head at the crook of your neck and peppering soft kisses at the exposed skin, licking over the previous lovebites he’d placed there, making sure Namjoon saw them. Namjoon stiffened.

“He’s right, let’s take this somewhere a little more… private. Poor Joonie shouldn’t have to witness the things I’m about to do to my dirty slut.” he purred seductively, hot breath fanning over your ear.

You shivered and glanced at Namjoon who was staring daggers at Jimin. A gasp escaped your lips as Jimin rolled his hips into your ass and you felt a very real erection. You turned to look at him and he grinned with no remorse, tugging your wrist to lead you to your bedroom. He closed the door and slammed your body up against it, hands pressing into your shoulders, but kept a distance from you now that Namjoon wasn’t watching.

“Jimin, what the fu-” you began.

“Moan. Loud. Make it believable.” he whispered. “If he thinks I’m fucking your brains out in here he’s going to lose his shit.”

“Jimin why do you have a boner?” you hissed.

“Y/N.” he scoffed. “I am absolutely team Namjoon okay? But I am a man, and a beautiful woman was just grinding on my dick. Sue me.”

“I-”

“It doesn’t mean I’m into you or anything, but that was hot. I’m not going to try anything but I can’t stop my anatomy from functioning properly. You can’t tell me you’re not a little turned on.” he grumbled, removing his hands from your shoulders and stepping back so you could peel yourself off the door.

“Okay. You’re right. Now what?” you asked.

“Be a good girl and moan for me.” he winked, sitting on your bed and pulling out his phone.

“Fuck, Jimin!” you did your best impression of a moan despite how uncomfortable you felt, sitting beside him and holding a pillow in your lap.

Jimin’s eyebrows shot up.

“Damn. Okay.” he whispered, then got louder as he groaned. “Fuck baby right there. Mmm… your pretty little mouth feels so good wrapped around my cock.”

You stifled a giggle and shoved his arm and he shot you the cockiest grin you’d ever seen on him, which was saying something. Jimin continued to moan loudly, until he decided it was time for things to kick up a notch.

“Okay, show time baby.” he winked, and stood up.

He began shoving your headboard against the wall rhythmically. It was loud enough it shook you, so you knew Namjoon could hear.

“Fuck, YN. You’re so tight.” Jimin groaned, sending you a pointed look.

“Ugh! Right there!” you whined loudly.

“Who owns this pussy?” Jimin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“Jimin!” you cried out, then tried not to laugh when Jimin dramatically fanned himself.

“Harder! Oh god don’t stop!” you called out, and Jimin gave you a thumbs up while he continued shoving your headboard against the wall.

“Are you going to cum on Daddy’s cock?” Jimin grinned.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” you screamed, honestly a little impressed with how realistic you sounded.

Jimin joined in your chorus with loud moans of his own, and stopped slamming your headboard against the wall. You suddenly got very embarrassed he’d heard such intimate sounds out of you, even if they were fake. Your cheeks burned cherry red and you avoided Jimin’s gaze.

“Damn. That was hot.” he whisper-laughed, knocking his shoulder into yours as he sat beside you.

“Shut up.” you giggled. “Kinda was though.”

“If things don’t work out with Joonie, call me.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Please, you couldn’t handle all this.” you joked, gesturing to yourself.

“You’re right, you’re an emotional basket case and I am not as patient as Namjoon.” he laughed, flinching when you punched his arm.

“Asshole.” you giggled.

“Come here.” he suddenly said, reaching for your hair and messing it up.

“What the fuck!” you hissed.

“Do you want to look fucked or do you want to look like we faked it?” he narrowed his eyes.

“True.” you agreed, reaching over and doing the same to his soft tendrils.

“Ooh, scratch my neck. Wait no. Should I walk out there shirtless and have you scratch my back?” he smirked evilly.

“Take your shirt off.” you instructed.

“Damn round two already? You’re insatiable!” Jimin chuckled.

You rolled your eyes and waited for him to rid himself of his t-shirt, then thought about the most realistic angle. You put your hands up to assess, turning and standing and checking your options. You finally decided the only way to get realistic marks was to act it out.

“I think you’re gonna have to get on top of me.” you concluded.

“I thought you’d never ask.” he smirked, exaggeratedly rolling his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Shut up, I just want it to look real.” you hissed, laying back while Jimin hovered over you.

“Suuure.” he grinned, looking down into your eyes from his position above you. He smiled.

You wrapped your arms around his torso and dug your nails experimentally into his back. Jimin shivered involuntarily. You bit your lip to conceal a giggle and raked your nails down his back, making sure to dig into the skin a little so the marks would stay. A quiet whimper left Jimin’s throat.

“You’re enjoying this too much.” you accused.

“You’re probably right.” he laughed. “I’m going straight home to jack off after this.”

“You’re disgusting.” you laughed.

Jimin shrugged unapologetically. “You should probably do it a few more times to make it look like I fucked you real good.”

“You just like it.” you laughed.

“That too.” he agreed.

He had a point though, so you repeated the action a few more times, desperately trying to ignore the noises that erupted from Jimin as you did. If you weren’t so in love with Namjoon you’d probably jump Jimin’s bones at this point. You did your best not to focus on his toned abs when he finally rose from you, allowing you to inspect your marks.

“Looks good.” you smiled, giving him a thumbs up.

An idea struck you so you shimmied your pants off and slipped on some pajama shorts and changed into Jimin’s shirt. He nodded in approval.

“Show time.” he sing songed, pulling your bedroom door open and sauntering down the hallway.

You followed him, noting Joon on the couch watching some new Netflix documentary. You didn’t say anything as you breezed past him, following Jimin into the kitchen to brew some tea.

“I need a snack to replenish my energy. You really wore me out, baby girl.” Jimin teased, pinching your behind and causing you to yelp.

“Do you want me to make something?” you asked.

“Mmm… cooking for me? Maybe we could use some leftover whipped cream for round two.” he suggested playfully.

“Stop.” you giggled, covering your face.

“I really should get going though, it’s getting late and I have to work tomorrow. I wish I could just stay here, in your bed. I don’t think we’d get any sleep though.” he chuckled.

“Let me change out of your shirt real quick.” you offered but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you against his body.

“Mmm… keep it. Looks better on you anyway. Plus, I wanna show off my battle scars.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

Namjoon got up off the couch, turned off the tv, and stalked to his room, slamming the door shut without a word. You looked to Jimin in surprise. He smirked victoriously.

“Check. Mate.” he grinned.

“He’s probably just annoyed because we’re being obnoxious.” you sighed.

“Trust me, Y/N. He’s jealous and filled with rage. If looks could kill, you’d be planning my funeral right now.” Jimin assured you.

“If you say so… do you really not want this back?” you asked.

“Nah. I got a spare in the car.” he smiled, “good luck, okay? Don’t chicken out if the opportunity presents itself. You like him. He likes you. You guys could be happy. Let yourself be happy, yeah?”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and let yourself be comforted by your friend’s words and his warm embrace. He hugged you back even tighter, then pulled away, holding you at arms length so he could look into your eyes.

“I mean it. Let yourself have this. Don’t be scared.” he coached gently.

“Thank you, Jiminie. I love you.” you smiled up at him.

“I love you too. Now go get your man.” he grinned, walking out the door and leaving you alone in the living room.

You took a deep breath and walked down the hall past Namjoon’s room, slowing as you heard crashing from inside. You knocked lightly on the door.

“Joon? You okay? Did something break?” you questioned, hand on the knob.

The door flung open and you were greeted with Namjoon’s chest as he towered over you. The look he gave you made you feel even smaller though.

“I dropped something. Not like you can complain about my noise level, Y/N.” he huffed.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” you said quietly.

“I’m fine. I actually think it might be time for me to find somewhere else to live.” he stated.

You froze, panic filling your chest.

“What?! Why?” you squeaked, tears welling in your eyes despite your urge for them to stay away.

“If you’re going to be seeing Jimin, it’s clear that you guys need your own space. I don’t want to listen to you have sex with him all the time, and I’m sure you’d appreciate the privacy.” Namjoon sighed, avoiding your eyes.

“But I… we… it’s not-” you tried, but your mouth wasn’t cooperating with your racing mind.

“It’s fine. It’s about time you got a boyfriend. It’s probably weird that we’re both single and living together.” Joon shrugged.

“No it’s not!” you argued, a pout on your lips.

“Don’t you want to fuck your boyfriend in peace without having to worry about your roommate hearing?” Joon challenged.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you blurted out.

“What?” Joon tilted his head in confusion.

“He’s not… he’s not my boyfriend. We didn’t have sex. We only pretended to. Jimin had me convinced that if I pretended to be dating him that you’d get jealous and that you’d make a move because I’m too scared to. I told him you didn’t like me and that it wasn’t going to work but he wouldn’t shut up about it, he kept saying-” you began but Namjoon cut you off.

“You made out with Jimin on our couch and pretended to have sex with him to try and make me jealous?” he clarified.

“I know it’s stupid I told him-” you rambled on, wringing your hands together anxiously.

“You didn’t fuck him.” Joon clarified one more time.

“No.” you confirmed.

“Oh thank god.” Joon sighed in relief, and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

Your eyes widened in shock but you soon melted into his embrace, your entire body alive and buzzing with adrenaline. Joon guided you towards the wall until your back hit it with a gentle thud and he pushed his body closer to yours until you were flush against each other. His hands came to cup your face, thumb rubbing soft circles on your cheek. He pulled away, but remained just centimeters from your lips.

“That was extremely immature and childish.” he chided, “But it worked. I wanted to kill him.”

“Mmm…” you hummed happily.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of another man kissing you,” he sighed, letting his lips gently brush against your own. “Another man marking you,” he whispered, his kisses moving to your neck and sucking his own marks to claim you. “Another man touching you…” he trailed off, hand running down your side until his fingers brushed against your nipple, barely concealed by the thin fabric of Jimin’s shirt. Joon’s soft touch froze for a moment.

Without warning, he ripped the shirt you were wearing over your head and tossed it aside, revealing your shorts and barely-there bra. He smirked in satisfaction. “I don’t like you wearing another man’s clothes either.” he purred, bringing his lips back to the skin of your neck and allowing them to travel down to your collarbones.

Upon hearing your real whimpers, you couldn’t believe how fake you’d sounded earlier. The noises Namjoon managed to elicit from you were real, raw, and desperate. Namjoon grinned against the flesh of your collar bones, moving his kisses even lower to the swell of your breasts. Namjoon had fantasised about these breasts more times than he’d care to admit, and he was about to bust in his pants now that his fantasies were coming true. He was determined to give your body the attention and admiration it deserved.

He reached behind you and unsnapped the flimsy bralette you were wearing, letting it tumble to the floor unceremoniously. You shivered as the cool air hit your nipples, causing them to perk and harden. Or maybe that was the effect Namjoon had on you. You didn’t find time to ponder the reason because soon, he had those delectable, pillowy lips wrapped around one of the hardened buds, nimble fingers rolling the other.

A haggard moan left your lips and your head lolled back, hitting the wall while Namjoon rolled his tongue over your sensitive flesh. He let his teeth graze it gently, and your body jolted off the wall closer to his. He took the opportunity to guide you towards his bed, shoving you down onto the mattress. Your body bounced with the impact and he hovered over you, ripping his shirt off and tossing it aside. Your eyes locked on the smooth planes of his stomach. Your mouth watered as your gaze trailed lower to the trail of hair that led to the part of him you’d been dreaming about since you caught him with his hand wrapped around it.

You reached up and pulled him back down to you and Namjoon took the opportunity to slip his hand between your bodies, slipping it under the fabric of your shorts and panties.

“Mmm… so wet. Is this because of me, baby?” he grinned.

You thought about teasing him and saying it was Jimin but you’d waited too long for this moment to fuck it up now.

“All for you, Joonie.” you whined, bucking your hips up to get some friction.

“Mmm.. that’s not my name baby doll.” he smirked.

“Fuck… daddy.” you whimpered.

“That’s right baby girl.” he praised, “You want daddy to make you feel good?”

“Please.” you begged.

Namjoon smirked and began rubbing lazy circles on your clit, spreading your juices along the swollen nub. You groaned, leaning your head back. It felt so good, but it wasn’t enough. You needed to be filled.

“Fuck me, daddy.” you whined.

“So needy.” he tutted, dragging your shorts and panties off and tossing them to the floor.

He shimmied out of his shorts and boxers and your eyes locked on his cock. Thick, long, and leaking precum. Your tongue involuntarily darted along your lower lip, wetting the surface as you stared at Namjoon’s length with desire. You leaned up and tentatively licked at the tip, gathering the pre-cum on your tongue before swallowing and humming happily. Joon closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling for a moment before pushing your shoulders back.

“We can try all that later. I want to cum inside of you, and I won’t last if you wrap those pretty lips around me.” he sighed, “but let’s get you ready, hm?”

You nodded and laid back against the pillows while Namjoon slipped two fingers in your drenched hole. You moaned loudly, finally feeling something fill your aching pussy. Joon curled his fingers and pumped them in and out of you, thumb rubbing circles on your clit. His lips crashed against yours again, swallowing up your moans and whines while he finger fucked you. The ridges of his fingers sliding against your velvety walls had you in a state of bliss. It wasn’t long before the familiar fire built deep in your belly and you were rocketing over the edge. Joon worked you through your high, never relenting in the slightest until you whimpered and pushed his hand away.

“Are you ready for me, baby?” he asked.

“Yes. Yes.” you let out breathlessly.

Joon smiled and rolled the condom onto his shaft before slowly sliding inside of you. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the way Namjoon fit perfectly in your walls. You could feel everything, like he was made to be inside of you. The stretch burned for a moment, but Namjoon remained still until you were comfortable. Once you gave him the signal that it was okay to move, Namjoon held nothing back.

His hips snapped into yours at a merciless pace, making your body bounce with the impact and incoherent gibberish leave your lips. Your arms found purchase around his neck while he rode you like there was no tomorrow. Namjoon had a lot of pent up sexual frustration when it came to you and he had every intention of unleashing it on you. He brought your nipple in his mouth once more.

You didn’t think you could last long with the way Namjoon was hitting that spot inside of you with every thrust, every time his cock landed against your walls it was just right and you were a mess beneath him in minutes, writing against his movements, bucking your hips up to meet his.

A chorus of his name slipped from you like a prayer, or a chant. You didn’t know. All you knew was that Namjoon felt so good and the only thing you could focus on was him and the impending orgasm he was unleashing inside of you with his relentless thrusts. Your nails dug into his back and your walls clenched around him as your orgasm built until you were just over the edge.

Namjoon stilled inside of you, and the orgasm ebbed away. A sob escaped your throat and you looked at Namjoon in confusion. He slipped out of your heat and you felt empty at the loss. He simply smirked and moved his head to begin kissing at your inner thighs.

“Joon, what-” you tried to ask, panting.

“Mmm… only good girls get to cum.” he hummed against your thigh. “Teasing daddy by grinding on your little friend… you weren’t being a very good girl, were you, baby doll?”

“But I…” you whined.

“I know why you did it.” he nodded in agreement, “and I agree. I needed a push. But I still didn’t like seeing your sweet little cunt grinding down on him. That pussy is mine.” he growled, possessiveness filling his eyes.

“Yes, I’m all yours daddy.” you sighed.

“That’s right.” he smirked.

He moved back up your body, leaving a trail of kisses as he went until his lips met yours again. His fingers brushed teasingly along your inner thigh and dipped in your heat, pumping in and out of you at an agonizingly slow place. His knuckles grazing your walls, his hot breath in your ear, whispering dirty things like a secret for just you to know, it was all too much.

Namjoon brought you to the edge over and over again before ripping your orgasm away from you each time. Tears welled in your eyes at the frustration. You were a complete mess beneath him and he only smirked in satisfaction, lazily rubbing patterns on your sensitive clit.

“Mmm.. does my baby want to cum?” he cooed.

“Fuck. Yes. Please. Joon please please please.” you nearly cried.

“Hmmm.. do you think you’ve earned it? Has daddy punished you enough? You sure did like showing off and making me angry.”

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m yours, only yours. PLEASE.” you whined.

Namjoon hummed and seemed to think deeply about your request. He nodded in approval and soon he was pounding into you again like he’d never stopped. It didn’t take you long to reach your end after that, so riled up and sensitive from the edging. You were so close, so close again.

“Cum for daddy.” Namjoon breathed in your ear, his voice low and husky.

You screamed his name as your vision went white hot and your back arched off the bed. Blissful euphoria enveloped your whole body while Joon rode out your high with you, soon meeting his own end. You were panting breathlessly to the point your lungs were burning as you both came back down. Joon discarded the condom and wrapped his arms around you, gently smoothing your hair away from your face and whispering encouraging things to you.

“You did so well for me baby.” he praised, kissing your forehead.

You nodded, snuggling closer into his frame. You were too exhausted to formulate a reply. Your brain was jello after the fucking of a lifetime you’d just recieved. Joon held you quietly, hands roaming tenderly to soothe your aching muscles. You leaned into his touch and when your heart finally returned to its’ normal rhythm, you looked up into his eyes.

“You know, I’m kind of thankful for Jimin.” Joon spoke.

“Hmm?” you questioned.

“I think if it weren’t for you assholes trying to make me jealous, I would’ve never pulled my head out of my ass.” he sighed. “I was just so scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way and I didn’t want to ruin everything we had, you know? You’re so important to me, Y/N. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“You won’t ever lose me.” you confirmed, fire in your eyes and passion in your voice. “But I get it. I was scared too.”

“Every time I see you, I get these words stuck in my head. All it is is 8 letters and I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, Y/N, but I was terrified of being rejected.” he admitted, eyes downcast.

“Joonie?” you whispered warily, moving your head back so you could look into his eyes.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you.” he smiled, kissing the tip of your nose

You bit your lip to try and hide the smile threatening to cover your face while looking into Namjoon’s eyes.

“But if Jimin ever puts his hands on you again I will kill him.” Namjoon grumbled.

You giggled and hid your face in his chest.

“I love you.” you repeat, unable to find a better response, and to be honest, it just felt good to say it out loud after all this time.

Joon’s grumpy expression morphed into one of fondness and affection, he caressed your cheek in his large hand, bringing his lips gently to yours in a chaste kiss.

“I love you too.” he sighed happily. . “So very much.”

#kim namjoon #namjoon #bts #smut #namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #rm #rm x reader #rm smut #bts smut

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chocolateheart · 4 years

Text

Complicated

Title: Complicated

Word count: 4651 (a lot, I know, I’m sorry)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: The hunt brings them together, the past comes back, the feelings are complicated.

Warnings: the mix of fluff and angst, fear of love, fear of talking about emotions and feelings, tension, blood, violence, fight, body harm, wounds, dead bodies, graphic description of all that. If I missed something, let me know!

A/N: This is my one shot for @jensengirl83 200 followers challenge. Congrats again, babe! You gave me a free hand and said to go crazy so here I am with almost 5k words, hahah. My prompt was “You look like hell. How did you get in such a mess?” I got kinda lost in the middle of this but somehow I managed to finish it and I’m sorry for posting it that late but yeah, life happened. I hope you’ll like it!

A/N: Huge thanks to my hunny bunny beta @winchest09 <3 The amount of patience you have for me, oh girl…

A/N: @talesmaniac89 thank you for those amazing dividers! <3

It was quiet when Y/N entered the building. The house was huge and old, wooden walls cracking every so often under the pressure of the wind. The night felt cold but single drops of sweat rolled down her neck. She adjusted the machete in her hand and scanned the large area of the first floor, flinching when something crunched under her boots. She looked down and noticed little crystals of broken glass glistening in the moonlight that creeped through the dirty window. The more she looked around, the more she acknowledged the details of the fight that had taken place right where she was standing. Damaged commode, planks strewn around, broken handrail and shattered glass.

Trying to find any clues, Y/N carefully eyed every inch of the room and frowned, spotting something next to the dusted armchair. Crouching down she touched it and with a small sigh discovered it was a red liquid.

Blood.

Rubbing her middle and index finger with her thumb, she noticed the blood was fresh; the person it belonged to was here a couple of hours ago. Hoping the victim was still alive, Y/N stood up, brushing lonely strands of her hair away from her face. The place seemed to be empty, silence pinching her ears; the vampire's nest was never that calm before. This made her stomach twist; something was wrong. It was like she made a mistake with the location, like no one was here but she was sure it’s the right place, it had to be. Suddenly a smell hit her and made her instinctively reach for the gun. Sulfur.

Nonsense. She was following vamps for weeks now. Was it possible that somehow she stepped on demons? Why here, why now?

She knew she should check the basement first but the blood tracks were leading upstairs. Old, dirty carpet covering the stairs was nearly soaked in it. The uneasy thought of finding a dead body crossed her mind and she swallowed thickly. Taking careful, quiet steps Y/N looked up to be ready in case something wanted to take her by surprise. She didn’t even make it to the first floor when she heard screams, muffled by the house. She rolled her eyes and cursed herself.

Basement, you idiot. It's always the basement.

Still quiet but faster now she came back downstairs, crossing the living room and after praying it won’t crack loud, she opened the door that led underground.

Angry voices reached her ears when she got to the concrete floor. Slowing down she tightened her grip on her weapon’s helve and moved forward, alert and tense.

“Where is it?!” The question was followed by the sound of a beating.

Weak laugh was barely audible but it tickled her in a weird way she couldn’t exactly name; like she heard it before.

“You think I’m gonna tell you?”

This voice. She stopped in her tracks, hidden behind the pillar holding the ceiling; listening, not believing what she had heard. Another punch, then the sound of spitting, probably with blood.

“You can beat the shit out of me but you’ll get nothing.” Her heart skipped a beat when she finally realised who this voice belonged to.

Dean.

Peeping from behind the pillar for a quick second, she noticed three, maybe four figures standing with their backs to her and a chair, bathed in a dim light of the bulb hanging above Dean’s head who was tied down.

Laying her head back, Y/N closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She had to be quick and effective; no second chances, no mistakes. Planning her moves she felt shivers running down her spine. Her hands fisted in irritation as she cursed the man she was about to save; no matter how much time had passed, when it was about saving his ass, she was always more concerned.

The moment she was all ready to jump and slice, ignoring the question of why fangs were keeping Dean, something in the dark corner caught her attention and stopped her. Narrowing her eyes Y/N focused on the pile laying on the ground. It took her few seconds but finally she saw it; bodies covered in blood, heads cut off, with open eyes and mouths that showed rows of sharp teeth.

Vampires.

Y/N’s breath quickened. If this bunch of dead bodies was what she was looking for then who the hell was beating Dean? Her mind wandered to the scent of sulfur she smelled before. It didn’t make any sense but there was no other option - they were demons. Putting away the machete, Y/N took out her gun. She had to figure something out. Hunting demons wasn't exactly in her schedule for tonight, all needed tools were in the car; suddenly she felt weirdly naked.

Before she could make any move, she heard steps coming from the stairs. She felt on edge, surrounded, surprised and put in a position where she had a harmed man to save. She was in trouble.

Light panic creeped into her as she searched for solution; eyes flicking around, landing finally on a little platform she could easily fit onto. Smirking at the idea, she changed the pistol for the crossbow on her back and took out the bottle with holy water she always carried with her. Y/N disappeared into the shadows before the approaching demons could see her.

Dean received yet another hit, straight in his jawline that was already swollen and pulsing. Spitting again he smiled; his teeth bloody, just like the rest of his face. Cut brow and lips, bruises already appearing, red streams coloring his freckled flesh. He could feel himself getting weaker; his head dizzy, muscles burning and his throat sore. Ropes on his wrists were so tight he was sure to find grey-blue marks later; if he ever gets out.

The demons surprised him, he was expecting bloodsuckers not those dusty assholes.

Apparently hell douches had some issues with twilight so they teared them into pieces; taking Dean’s job from under his nose. And now they thought he had some information but he knew shit - another aspect that annoyed him. He had no idea what was going on and what they wanted. But he acted like he did, hoping they would accidentally spill some tea.

“Where is it?!” The demon hissed again, squeezing Dean’s face, forcing him to look up. One of his fingers digged into the cut on the cheek, causing more blood to pour.

“Bite me.” Dean hissed back, giving the torturer a hard, confident look and an arrogant smile.

The man lifted his fist, ready to hit the hunter again and just then something cut through the air with a whiz. The demon yelled as white smoke started floating from where the arrow got stuck in his body, burning him. It took Dean aback; he frowned confused, watching the douchebag stumbling around as another arrow flashed in front of his eyes, wounding the next demon. One by one they all were getting shot; screaming and grunting they seemed to be so vulnerable now. Then, with the corner of his eye, Dean spotted someone jumping down from a platform. Maybe this was someone willing to help him.

It was too dark and Dean was too tired to focus on who it was but he knew they were a hunter for sure. The stranger moved fast, ably slicing the distracted demons. Using the machete the hunter cut their flesh; more smoke, more pain. Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away from the limber moves, from the facility that the weapon was used with. Even though he was mesmerised, the person's behavior seemed to be oddly familiar; his brain registered something that it had seen before, more than once.

After a few final flips of the wrist, the demons had enough; their heads tilted back, mouths opened and a black smoke flew out of them, disappearing in the darkness. The room got silent; the only sound was heavy breathing - female heavy breathing as Dean tried his hardest to pinpoint who it was.

She was standing with her back to Dean, scanning the room, still alert and high on adrenaline from the fight. She felt her muscles rippling, hands twitching, her hammering heart pumped blood that was rushing in her veins, raising her temperature as she observed bodies laying on the floor. Wetting arrows and her blade with holy water was a quick, unsure idea but it worked; she just wished she could save those people.

A few deep breaths helped her to calm down. She tugged the weapon behind the belt and turned to the Winchester, revealing who she was. Dean’s eyes widened as he discovered the stranger's identity and his heart made a tiny jump.

Memories hit him immediately, pelting him with the amazing time he had three years ago. It wasn't something Dean admitted out loud but he admired the badass girl from the second he laid his eyes on her. They clicked on the fight field, understanding each other without a word, they spent a couple of irreplaceable nights in bars and motels, exchanging thoughts, dreams and experiences. Dean didn’t find in her just a buddy he never knew he needed but also someone he could open his soul to without worrying about anything. Seeing her now felt like he was thrown to the past by angels; the only difference was that now, he enjoyed the circumstances.

“Y/N,” he said slightly surprised, his hoarse voice making her lips curl in a smirk. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story. Let's say I'm having a trip around the neighbourhood," she answered and took a closer look at him.

His face was damaged; cut, painted with blood and bruises, swollen in a few places. His right arm was wounded, crimson stains covering his ripped shirt. He was sweaty and breathing heavily; livid skin under his tired eyes. It's been a long time since she saw him looking like he got hit by a truck.

"You look like hell. How did you get in such a mess?" she asked as she pulled out a knife.

"Long story. Let's say I tripped." He mirrored her words, making her chuckle and grunted when she cut off ropes on his wrists.

After hours in the same position Dean got numb so with every move a small, pained moan escaped him. Y/N helped him to get up on his legs which shook a little under him. Offering her shoulder he partly leaned on, she grabbed his waist and headed to the exit. Hearing Dean chuckle, she looked up and as she saw those soft dimples, her mouth curled upwards.

"What's so funny, Winchester?" she asked as they passed by the collection of dead vamps.

"You saved my ass again. It's humiliating." She laughed out loud, satisfaction filling her up.

"Then we both deserve a drink."

The gas station near the motel was their source of food and alcohol that night. Y/N bought two large hot dogs and four beers, thereupon went back to the room where she left Dean.

Opening the door she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed; showered and clothed in a fresh v-neck and sweatpants. Cuts still red and open but his face was clean and focused as Dean was trying to stitch his wounded arm. Y/N could see he was frustrated because of his still slightly trembling hands.

She put down the bag and approached him, taking his hands in hers.

"Hey, let me do it," she offered, sitting down next to him.

He gave up with an irritated huff and turned his eyes away, embarrassed by his current clumsiness. She looked at him for a second and then focused on the needle in her hand.

The silence fell between them; both lost in their thoughts, suddenly a little bit uncomfortable with each other. Y/N felt her tummy tightening and she swallowed, doing her best to not let her eyes wander, but it was in vain.

This man looked like he was straight from the cover of a magazine. From his strong arms that could easily crush her, through to his tanned skin with a constellation of adorable freckles she swore to count one day. To his calloused hands with long, thick fingers that could so deliciously travel across her body. His firm stomach hidden under the thin material of the t-shirt; the same stomach she had stitched in the past, the stomach she secretly wanted to scratch and kiss.

"Ouch," Dean's sudden hiss brutally detached Y/N from her thoughts and she understood she lost control over her hand, stinging his healthy skin.

"Sorry," she answered quickly.

Y/N knew things were going to be this way when her eyes met his green ones back in the basement. She knew that meeting him again would make her weak and she was right, nothing had changed. He still had the same influence on that he’s always had.

The huntress wasn't exactly a person who fell so easily; who would get wet without any sexual contact. Her heart wasn't such a sucker for feelings, her head wasn't so easily distracted. Yet with Dean it was different, and it was annoying because she didn’t have control over her own self.

Shaking her head, she finished the job and rolled down his sleeve as Dean cleared his throat.

"Thanks," he muttered and she shrugged with a small smile.

"Not a big deal, it's just stitching." She wanted to stand up but Dean stopped her by grabbing her hand.

Y/N skin was so soft under his fingertips, almost like silk. He knew it had a lot of scars and marks but that just made it more beautiful. Every little imperfection of hers was perfect for him; reminding him of the angel she was, fighting to save lives. Dean was always amazed by how she was a badass hunter and warrior but everytime she wasn’t cutting heads, she seemed so small, so tiny when he held her. His body and heart instinctively needed to protect her from the evil with everything he had.

His unsure, emerald eyes made Y/N frown, making Dean realise he froze with his fingers around her wrist, staring at her.

"Thank you for saving me," he said quietly and watched as her lips widened in a smile.

For a mere second he thought about how they could feel against him; warm and soft, moving in sync with his, followed by the sweet taste of her tongue. Blinking he pushed away those thoughts, glad she couldn’t read his mind. Familiar fear of her finding out flitted through him, stimulating his nerves. It was pathetic; a grown ass man was scared to say what he felt but in his case it wasn’t anything new.

"Always a pleasure to save a Winchester's ass," she said slightly amused and he rolled his eyes with a smile; this attitude. "Hungry?" she asked standing up but she already knew the answer.

"Starving." Pushing himself forward onto the bed, Dean leaned onto the headboard, stretching out his legs.

Taking a place next to him, she pulled out the food and drinks from her bag, receiving a pleasured "oh yes" from the hunter beside her.

They ate as they talked about what had happened in the last few years when they hadn't seen each other, recalling some events from the past and trying to understand what exactly had happened that day. With time and alcohol, the atmosphere loosened and they fully started to enjoy their mutual presence. Their laughs echoed in the room just like old times and for a moment it felt like they never separated.

By the time the birds started to sing outside, Y/N found herself in the same sitting position as Dean's, their arms brushing and legs briefly touching. She laughed as he talked about Sammy's drinking actions; she missed this giant, suddenly feeling the need to hug him.

"Um, listen…" he started and cleared his throat.

"Hmm?" Encouraging him, she took a sip from almost an empty bottle.

"It's actually good to see you," Dean mumbled as he rubbed his thumb on the glass he was holding. "I've missed you." She looked at him, her brows scrunching.

"Awww, Dean," she whined. "You gonna make me sob." The moment his eyes lifted up, she chuckled, trying to hide her smile in drinking.

"Shut up," he shot back with a grin. "I'm trying to be nice here." Shrugging he tilted the bottle and Y/N allowed herself to watch how his throat moved when he swallowed. Licking her lips she touched his hand, drawing his attention.

"I missed you too," she simply said and their eyes met.

But this time was different.

Maybe it was her slightly drunk mind, maybe it was the tiredness after a few days with not much sleep or maybe it was the usual dizziness she felt when she was with him. She didn’t know, but something stopped the time, erased everything around it and left only Dean.

He was so close she could see gold motes in the green ocean of his eyes; crystals shining so bright that every other stone was becoming a common rock in comparison. The eyes that could hypnotize you in a second and save you from darkness the next.

His unique smell surrounded her, warm vibrations radiating from his whole body and Y/N wasn't able to stop her mind when it created scenes she wished were real. Losing control over her imagination, his intense gaze turning off her rational thinking, she let her eyes drop to his lips and that was her mistake. Every time she yearned for him, dreaming about being his in every possible way, was nothing compared to what she felt now.

She was scared and confused because first, she thought she had gotten over this stupid love years ago and second, she didn't know why all those feelings were so strong now. She was always weak for him but not that weak.

Dean noticed when she swallowed, his own mouth watering. Allowing his emotions to take control of him wasn't exactly his style; especially not with her. But he felt his fingers itching and lips twitching when his mind focused on her. The soft features of her face, delicate, olive skin he would so gladly caress. Her pink lips, shaped like they were made for kissing; at least that's what he thought. The vision of her touching him the way those cheap one night stands did so many times, her warm body wrapping around him, slender palms mapping his every inch. It left him woozy, drunk on her.

The air was thick, their breathing quickened, pulse throbbing under the skin as their heartbeats thumped in their chests, little hairs standing up as goosebumps overlaid their bodies.

But even though it was strongly sexual, the heat so high it could burn the Earth, the thing hanging between them wasn't just physical attraction. Their hearts played the main role in the performance neither Dean nor Y/N thought of taking part in.

Years of admiration, of looking up to each other, of watching how the other person was just a good human being and then the break which made them realise how strong a connection they had; it made them fall for each other. But both of them were too scared to make a move, too blind to see the other wanted the exact same thing. So as soon as both their minds grew with the thought of leaning forward, they lowered their heads. Dean nervously scratched the back of his neck, feeling blush creeping up his skin as Y/N decided to sooth her trembling insides with the rest of beer.

Exchanging awkward smiles they unconsciously allowed their fears to win yet another battle. Knowing so well they wanted to taste the love but being too afraid of its power. To say their relations were complicated was an insult.

“So what do you think happened there? What did those demons want?” Y/N asked the next evening as they packed.

“No idea,” Dean answered, closing his bag. “But I’m about to find out. Sam is already digging, trying to find anything and I’m going back there tonight.” She turned around to look at him, frowning.

“What for?”

“They smashed up the place before I got there,” he lifted the bag and headed to the door, “maybe they missed something.”

“You think the fangs had whatever they were looking for?” Crossing her arms Y/N leaned back on the table. Dean shrugged, opening the door. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Woah, woah,” he stretched his hand forward, stopping her, “you’re not going anywhere, sweetheart.” She looked at him with lifted brows and upon noticing he was not joking she huffed a short laugh.

“What?” the question was filled with amusement that rose up in her. He must be kidding.

“You’re staying here or going to Sam if you wanna help,” he stated and walked out to the Impala that was parked in front of the motel room. She looked at the empty space he stood in seconds ago, confused, with her arms open in a silent question.

“Wh- Dean!” she yelled and followed his tracks. “Are you kidding me? I’m not gonna stay behind!”

“Yes, you are.” He closed the truck of the black, muscle car. “This case stinks from miles, Y/N, it’s too dangerous.”

“Too dangerous?!” her voice raised up; her temper was short and telling her what to do was igniting the fire, especially considering he was assuming she couldn’t handle the situation. “Let me remind you I was the one who saved your ass yesterday! And it wasn’t the first time!” She watched as he walked around the Baby, avoiding her gaze.

“That’s not the point, Y/N. You’re not going,” he repeated firmly, turning his back to her which got on her nerves even more.

“You’re not gonna tell me what to do!” she leaned forward, pointing to the ground like it was putting the dot on her statement.

“Yes I will!” Dean hollered, turning to her before taking a few strong steps which made her straighten. She was taken aback by his sudden anger and eyes snapping towards her. “I will because I care about you.” His stare was so intense she felt her knees giving up as he slowly approached her. “And if you go there, and something happens, I’m never gonna forgive myself…” he made a pause and took a few deep breaths. “If I lose you,” he grabbed her arms tightly and lowered himself so he could level with her eyes. “I’m gonna lose my freaking mind.”

Y/N’s heart was banging in her chest as she searched his face, noticing how Dean’s eyes were glistening in the dim motel’s lights, shimmering with emotions. Sweat broke across her flesh as his words reached her mind.

What the hell does that mean?

“Dean, what-” she began but Dean immediately cut her off, shaking his head, tired with this game they had been playing for so long.

“Shut up.”

He firmly pulled her to him and crushed his mouth to hers. She froze, surprised and tensed. But as her brain processed what was happening and his lips slightly moved, she melted. Kissing him back, she gave him access and feeling his hot tongue, she lifted her hands to his hair. Fisting it, she arched to him and he enclosed her in his strong arms, sneaking them around her and on her back. His lips were even better than she imagined and despite the intensity he was kissing her with, she could feel how soft they were. Her mind was galloping, her heart beating so loud she was sure it’s gonna jump out or explode. Feeling Dean’s arms squeezing her, for the first time in so long she felt safe and she wanted to stay there for the rest of eternity.

She gave into him, leaning in, she kissed back. Dean’s mind was a mess; not only with the nerves and fear but the fact she didn’t push him away. Instead she clung to him, pulled him even closer - his heart went crazy. The relief filled him as she pushed herself flush to him, standing on her tiptoes, deepening the kiss, even moaning quietly. The taste of her lips and tongue hazed his brain, it was like a drug. But he wouldn’t let himself lose it completely; he needed to stay sober to drag her away from the idea of going with him. Breaking the kiss was harder than he expected, but he managed. Still holding her close, both of them panting, he rested his forehead against hers.

Finally she looked up, wanting to see his eyes but he kept them closed. Shivers were running over her body, she was high on the feelings that bursted between them. Dean’s cheeks moved as he gritted his teeth, deciding to spill everything while he still had courage.

“For three years I was thinking about you,” he said, his voice low. “You were crossing my mind every night and day but I couldn’t bring myself to call you. I knew you didn’t want to be here, that you needed your own life, that you didn’t want me. But that didn’t stop my feelings for you. Then when I saw you yesterday, they slapped me full force in the face. Now, when I have you back here, I can’t lose you. Leaving is one thing but getting killed is another.”

Y/N felt him trembling, his breathing ragged and voice shaking but words steaming with honesty. Being aware of how nervous he could be, she dropped her palm from the back of his head onto his cheek. Rubbing her thumb over his cheekbone, she searched for words she needed to say.

“I’ve always wanted you, Dean,” she spoke, causing his eyes to snap open and pierce into hers. Green orbs twinkling with sparkles of happiness and disbelief. “You were always the most important, even when I wasn’t here. You were constantly in my head but I thought I was just a friend.” He chuckled. “You’re more than a friend, sweetheart.” He pulled back and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “And that’s why you can’t go with me. Promise me you won’t go,” he pleaded, his eyes begging and worried.

“Dean, I could help,” she whispered but he shook his head.

“Promise me, Y/N.” She looked to the sky, taking a breath. She understood but her position was the same.

“I can’t,” whispering she let her hands fall off of him but Dean was still holding her. After a few moments he sighed, let her go and rubbing his face in exhaustion he looked at her, helpless.

“Okay, fine,” he gave up and a smile appeared on her face. “Go get your stuff.”

Instead of going straight away to get her bag, she leaned up and kissed him, slowly and softly. He melted into her, his brows jumping up on an unexpected action. She was so sweet; sweeter than any pie he ever had in his life. Pulling away she stayed close, watching him blinking the bliss away.

“Is it gonna look like that from now on? You will agree on anything I’ll say? Are you that weak for me?” she whispered into his lips and he chuckled low.

“Probably,” Dean answered as he caressed her forearms and briefly entwined their fingers. She pulled away fiercely, the idea shining in her widened eyes.

“Are you gonna let me drive her?” she asked excitedly but he burst into a laugh.

“Na-ah, sweetheart. That’s not gonna happen,” he answered with a warm smile and pulled her into one more kiss.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :) Feel free to leave some feedback, don’t be afraid to message me. Every word from you is gold <3

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alchemist-shizun · 4 years

Text

Seirios

Read on Ao3!

Check out the wonderful artwork by @jajathelivingmeme !! She’s a delight and a talented friend 💜

Word Count: 22,331

Characters: Roman, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Logan, Patton, Emile, Remy, Thomas

Pairing(s): Prinxiety, Loceit, Remile

Warning(s): minor character death and death mentions, implied bad parenting (minor), slight violence, not physical, unrequited romance, kissing, crying, panic attack, ptsd, blood, face and eye injury, scar mention, knives mention, hospital mention, very slight gore (just in an emotional description), insomnia mention, Passing out, apparent major characters death (tell me if I missed anything!)

Summary: It's hard for kids to fall asleep. It's especially hard for Remus when he can't help but stare at the night sky, mesmerized. That's why his guardian and uncle Janus decided to tell him a bed time story about two stars' lives and adventures along with the Sun and the Moon. Janus surely didn't expect for the storytelling to lead them to meet the local astronomer, Logan, not to mention develop a stronger bond with him. The best bit? All of his stories were true. Meet Janus Hydra, a fallen shooting star become human, and come listen to the events he witnessed while in space.

A/N: This is my entry for @ts-storytime ! A big thank you to @i-am-overly-complicated for the moral support and some suggestions, and to @crazydemigod666 for beta reading the fic, love ya bud. I worked super hard on this, I hope you all enjoy! Taglist will be added in a reblog.

✾

❝ It's you, it's you, it's all for you,

Everything I do.

I tell you all the time,

Heaven is a place on earth with you. ❞

He knew nothing of the sky.

He would look out of the window at night and glance up at the starry empyrean, wondering how it was possible that his mother had been part of those celestial entities.

And maybe, now that she was gone, he hoped she was part of them again, the stardust she had left behind now scattered across the universe.

« Remus? » his uncle Janus knocked on the door to his room and peeked inside. « Ready to settle down for the night? »

The kid sighed and stepped away from the window he was resting his arms and head on; sleeping was the part of the day he hated the most, there were so many things awaiting him, ideas in his head he wanted to get out in the real world, how could he simply lay dead doing absolutely nothing for eight hours straight?

Resting was too boring and Remus could think of more than a few things to do in its place.

Janus took a couple of steps in his nephew's direction and held out a hand to him like he was doing a grand gesture.

« Is the little duke in the mood for his sleeping duty? »

« Don't think so. » Remus shrugged and glanced at his bed with disinterest.

He pretended he didn't notice his uncle's small sigh and that expression that always seemed to show veiled compassion whenever the kid wouldn't comply.

Janus thought that Remus was a wonderful child, probably the strongest one he'd ever met, there was nothing he was not grateful for when it came to him: only a couple of years had passed from Angy's death, along with his father leaving him behind right after, and there wasn't a day in which he had let himself feel defeated.

After all, Janus had realized that he was the one to really need the other during that period.

Yet there was that one little detail Remus couldn't get himself behind, which was the need to lie your body down and prepare yourself for the following day. He could struggle all he wanted, but there was no way for either of them to find a solution.

Until Janus posed that fateful question in his mind: what would Angy do in this situation?

He raised his eyebrows as the best option surfaced.

Remus watched him tap his finger on his chin, looking around the room for a seat until he brought one in himself, placing it next to the bed the eight-year-old was now sitting on.

Anguis Hydra had been a shooting star in the sky and a writer on Earth when she fell along with her brother, and if there was something her brother knew best was that the finest solution to any problem she had found was storytelling.

Her readers had given her the nickname of “Angst Hydra”, for how much pain they felt thanks to her books.

Little did they know the stories were real: stories based off of other stars encounters they had had during their travels, her memory her sharpest tool.

« Did Angy ever tell you about the most luminous star you can see from the Earth's sky? »

Janus saw Remus's little eyebrows furrow, sign of a notion that was new to him. He brought his legs to his chest as he leaned on his pillow.

« It's actually a binary system, which is composed of two stars orbiting around each other. »

« Is it the … Sirius system? » Remus seemed to recall, his eyes narrowed in uncertainty.

Janus nodded. « Good job. So, all earthlings know about them is astronomical details, the usual research stuff, right? »

The kid made an agreement noise, curious to where that was gonna land.

« They call them Sirius A and B, but as you may expect there's a lot more into it. » he leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. « Your mum and I had the occasion to meet them and witness their life events. » he could already notice the excitement growing in Remus's eyes. « So, want to listen to their fairytale? »

« Will there be chaos? »

« You have no idea. » both of them grinned as the kid settled in the only right way he knew: wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito and using his pillow as a seat.

« I'm ready! »

« Keep in mind that it's a long story, so we won't be able to cover all of it tonight, alright? »

Remus nodded despite defeated; Janus, on the other hand, knew that if he managed to get him hooked on the tale, he could have made his nephew look forward to bedtime and made things relatively easier.

A win-win situation.

The man turned off the room's lights only to switch on the bedside lamp with green LEDs.

« Alright little duke. » he moved in a comfortable position. « It's time for you to learn of the dance of the stars during the sunset, the moment the sun and the moon meet to leave each other's place to one another. »

Remus had never heard of such a thing, it was a simple tradition his mother and his uncle never took part of as their star selves happened to be constantly moving around with no time for grand events.

« But let's start from the beginning: let me introduce you to our beloved protagonists. »

✾✾✾✾

There were two notions stars were born with: the concept of the moon and the one of the sun.

They were aware there were multiple ones depending on which solar system they were close to, which planet they were taking into account.

But if there was a third piece of knowledge Virgil was certain of, it was that ever since he'd seen him from his little spot, he had been in love with the sun.

Such a titanic star shielding his own much smaller one.

When he was little, he'd look up at the sun and find a hero, a role model he had always been eager to follow: now, whenever he did that, he longed for contact and the revelation of his gorgeous self he wasn't yet able to meet from afar.

Casual passerby stars or nebulae narrated their encounters with the sun, encounters of which Virgil only grew jealous.

His admiration could only grow as much as he couldn't even fathom the grandiosity of those meetings, as he still wondered what was the intensity with which the sun's eyes glowed, the warmth of his protection and his benevolence.

« You want me to tell you about Emile, little one? » Patton was one of those nebulae that had been already circulating for a while and were old enough to attend a very important event that a myriad of stars took part in.

He hadn't quite realized why Virgil was so eager to meet the sun, but hadn't questioned it once since he'd met him.

« Well there are quite a few tales I can tell you about him! »

And so he did and Virgil found himself hanging onto every single word that escaped the other's mouth.

The little star could do nothing but wait for more stories as he grew along the space around him, hoping that maybe one day his orbit would find him.

Everything was going to change once he'd reached stability and joined the

Sunset's Ball.

✾✾✾✾

« The what? » Remus's sleepy eyes questioned Janus.

« One thing at a time, Rem. » the adult brushed some locks from Remus's forehead. « I'll get there later. But first, there's someone else you need to acknowledge. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman had always been aware of his star title: Sirius A. Thanks to that, he had also always known how he was part of a binary system.

Ever since then, he had been more than eager to meet the other star of his system, dreaming of one day finally finding a friend in them, like he had found in Patton, who would always bring news of Virgil.

He had learnt his name thanks to the nebula and mentioned it in his thoughts and conversations like he was a lifelong friend.

Roman's star was bigger and brighter than Sirius B, greatly shielding its vision.

He felt lonely during his growth and stabilization, anyone would have been intimidated by his star dimensions, therefore the visits paid to him were far less than the ones reserved for Virgil.

Yet he would spend his days trying to get someone's attention and, eventually, he'd stop to look down at the other star and wonder when their meeting would come.

Would it come at all?

Star dances were commonly known, but many happened during the day, so one wouldn't be sure of who they were going to end up with until their very first Ball.

That type of dance was the only one performed by stars, it occurred daily and it was a celebration of either sunset or sunrise, the moments in which the Sun and the Moon met and exchanged greetings, only to swap places with each other.

Only the most important stars could participate, once stability was reached and they were certain that they would've caused no harm to others: the floating palace in which they took place had been the same for millennia and not a single wrong move had been done to endanger it, it had now become a pillar in their history.

Reaching that place was kind of a rite of passage for the stars and proof of respectability for Roman since, compared to the Sun, he and some other stars were far bigger.

Yet, humans had praised the Moon and his partner as actual gods in various religions and cultures, along with other planets they had acknowledged.

So the bigger celestial objects resonated that their importance still varied and wasn't related to how they presented, but rather to who they were, thus they learnt to stand their ground.

And even so, Roman's true goal had always been a different one.

He was going to meet Virgil, one way or another.

✾✾✾✾

Remus's head hit his uncle's arm lightly, a tiny bump against Janus's sleeve; the man took a break from his storytelling after noticing that the boy's eyes were closed, having finally resigned to the heaviness of sleep, smiled to himself and tucked his nephew in bed.

He followed his nightly routine as well which consisted of watching tv until he passed out and woke up way too early for his schedule, only to go back to sleep in his room for a couple more hours.

If only that night had gone exactly like that.

Janus had touched his mattress at around the same indecent time he did normally and fallen asleep minutes after.

Flashes happened and now hands were on his face, twisted and disappeared, turning into a pair of green eyes that were looking fondly at another woman. They laughed and held hands and he had a knot in his stomach as he hugged him a little too tightly. And Janus was breathing, then not, then sobbing, then he knew her happiness came first because the world was so cruel to him. Then Janus smiled, then he didn't, he held his breath as she stopped altogether and then the green-eyed man left. And he?

He woke up.

Barely three hours had passed and he was already sitting up, hugging himself and resting his face on his knees, his expression contorted in a multitude of unpleasantries.

That was not possible.

He was over that, he was over him, there was no need for his subconscious to resurface the majority of his life's regrets so far.

There was definitely no need to remember, to say the least.

What he was gonna do now was going back to sleep and never think about that dream ever again.

Of course, he actually laid awake to stare at the ceiling blankly until his alarm went off, which he turned off automatically, solely moving his arm.

He had looked into the mirror once he had gotten to his bathroom and forced a smile on, but the usual sparkles stars emanated when happy didn't surround his skin.

When he had gotten Remus to school, the kid had pointed out how darker his eye-bags had become lately.

« Can I get matching ones? »

« No, lil duke, better not. » you're gonna end up like this eventually as an adult.

Janus was sick of the constant pitiful glances he got from his co-workers when he had a bad day, the whispers they passed between each other, the fake respectability they kept when he was in a low mood.

None of them personally knew Janus on a close level.

So, as he thought, none of them could have felt entitled to initiate a conversation on a low-key personal topic.

Yet, there a man was, sliding a card on his desk.

« He's a good therapist, I've heard. If you … you know, have any troubles or if your nephew- »

Not even a glance at the name and Janus's insides were revolting. « We don't need it. » a tight-lipped smile set on his face. « Thank you anyway. »

The man almost ran away at that, embarrassed and frantically looking back at his own work position.

Janus took the card in his hands.

Those same innocent and achingly beautiful green eyes stared back at him; Clyde Davis had been his brother in law for as long as Anguis had been alive, once on Earth.

He didn't mean for his memories to overcome him yet again, but here he was, almost blinded near the day of the death's anniversary.

His eyes fixated on the nothingness right above the floor as thoughts flew by his mind: Angy and him had just fallen on Earth, somehow adjusting to the humans' costumes in no time.

They had some slip-ups when it came to ethics and morality, that was why when it came to the realization of feelings the two brothers had different experiences.

Who would've thought humans were so idiotic to banish certain natural forms of love such as the ones not stereotypically between a man and a woman? (the issues on gender identity and sex were also introduced to them on that planet, as stars lacked the concept despite their anthropomorphic forms)

Who would've thought Janus had to find out from the news right after realizing he had gotten a crush for the same man his sister had fallen in love with?

Sure, it was easier to let her happiness come first that way, but it didn't mean his feelings were hurting any less.

If anything, he was constantly mixing joy and guilt, some sort of bittersweet ending that didn't sit right with his emotions, but it did with his conscience.

Wrong wasn't how he felt at Anguis and Clyde's wedding, but maybe more relieved as he was sure that way his love could've dissipated.

At least he hoped so, especially since he was going to live alone from then on.

He thought distance had worked, but then Remus happened and he visited more often than ever, especially since the boy resembles the two people he loved the most.

The circumstances didn't help him, but he had learnt to disguise how he felt better.

Janus thought nothing could've shattered that nice picture.

And then Anguis fell ill.

Some kind of immunodeficiency, a state that saw her body shut down as a star that slowly died and stopped lighting up the night sky.

He had seen her eyes turn black, he had known all along what it meant, but he did not want to accept it. Only deny it to himself as he was now living at her place, helping out when he could.

When the fatal day occurred, Janus, Clyde and Remus were standing by her as her skin got almost colder than the bed she was in.

It hadn't sparkled in too long.

She knew what was going on, she had intimated them to say goodbye as much as they didn't want to; she looked unfairly defeated.

As the time struck, her body stiffened and everything left of her was stardust that emanated its final glow.

Janus's memory had blocked out everything that came after, especially the funeral.

Of course, he couldn't have forgotten the day Clyde came to him, his eyes now dull and distant, He wanted to leave, start a new life and leave behind everything else because he could not bear to look at Remus or him and be reminded of Anguis.

Clyde asked him to take Remus's custody and for the first time Janus had wanted to punch his face rather than kiss him.

But he had instead accepted, not out of empathy, but because he had become so lost that he wasn't sure his reality was so truthful anymore.

Remus had been a blessing, saving him from negativity more than he could with himself. He was a wonder, that kid.

Janus had zoned out for so long that he came back to Earth only as he was sitting on an armchair at home, while his nephew played with some toys right behind him.

« Hey. Did you know you're a wonderful kid? »

« I thought that was obvious. Also, gross, I'd rather be called stinky! » he hadn't even looked up from his creation.

Janus snorted. « Of course. » he made to get up and make dinner.

Later in the evening, Remus had climbed onto the counter and stared at Janus, who was leaning against the furniture while drinking some warm tea.

« I'm going to the astronomy museum tomorrow! »

« I know. »

« Don't you think it's time for a story then? »

The man giggled. « Are you bribing me? »

« You've been brooding all day, uncle! » he jumped back down, and hugged his waist only to pull him out of the kitchen.

Janus did his best not to stumble. « Alright, alright, we need some time-out time. » he picked his nephew up and in a minute they were settled for their storytelling.

« So- »

« Did dad show up? »

He fell silent, baffled by the sudden question. He gave Remus a puzzled look.

« You always act absent when something related to him happens. » the kid explained.

Who gave an eight-year-old the right to be that smart?

Janus opened and closed his mouth several times. « Well- Not exactly. » he scratched the back of his neck. « They talked about him. I think I might have gotten … triggered? » he wasn't sure whether or not that was the right term to use. But he did feel numb for the majority of the day, despite the flashbacks.

« Well, fuck him. »

« Rem- »

« No, fuck that guy. » Remus raised his voice more, but Janus didn't find it in himself to stop him. « he just dropped his burdens on you and left like a coward! Fuck that bullshit! » his face was red with anger.

« I know. But dear, you're not a burden. »

« I don't even care if I am for him. »

« Let me finish. » Janus used the calmest tone possible to balance out the other's upset. « As much as you don't agree with what he's done, you have to remember everyone's got their own way to cope. »

He sighed, eyes fixed to the floor. « In his case, he could've probably been a bad parent for you and decided to trust you with me rather than himself. He knows I love you just as much, so he wanted you to be in a certainly safe environment. »

Remus wasn't still entirely convinced.

« The thing is, he feared not being able to raise you the way you deserve. You still have all the right to be angry at him, of course. But you need to know that you didn't do anything bad for this all to happen, okay? »

The kid bit the inside of his mouth. « Yeah, I know. You've told me plenty of times. »

« Repetita iuvant. And honestly you've been of help more than he would imagine, so … yeah fuck him. »

The duo snickered and gave each other a matching mischievous glance.

« But seriously, no swearing like a sailor until you're older, okay? At least not in front of other adults, you know how they get easily impressed. »

« Ugh, they never let me do anything fun. »

« Capitalism. »

« What? »

« Nothing, let's carry on with the story. Tonight, Virgil and Roman are going to finally meet. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman was ecstatic.

He had been accompanied by Patton and they had now made their entrance in the ballroom.

The space looked fancy and highly decorated, white, gold and blue themes coloured every object, glistening with a bit of purple here and there. It felt like being in the gods' lair, high columns sustained a roof for a space much bigger than its guests.

A pompous environment that suggested any trait related to space and stars.

Everyone was dressed up for the occasion, he felt like he was in the middle of one of those royal dances humans had to entertain themselves.

They all had a mask covering part of their face; it was a way of respecting the Sun and Moon as they had yet to arrive and would wear it as well until they took it off alongside everyone.

Clothes and masks were pretty much the same for everyone, changing based on the type of star you were, only the colours changed for everybody.

Roman was wearing crimson items; they often recalled the color of a star's eyes, like his case.

« Feeling nervous? » Patton was leading him toward their designated spot, he had previously offered his arm to Roman after showing off his sky-blue outfit.

« Kind of. Don't wanna mess up. But also what if they're not here? » Roman was already pulling at the hem of his sleeve.

« I'm sure they are. Normally binary systems are put together. I'll help you search! » Patton gave a warming smile that ushered the other not to worry too much.

« Should I go find a dance partner? » there was literally no etiquette to follow until the two main protagonists arrived.

The nebula noticed the initial discomfort in him. « That, or you can stay with me for now. »

Roman was about to reply in gratitude when he saw everyone move to the centre of the room, where he got by taking Patton's hand.

Alright, here we go.

The first part of the dance had the stars already dancing around the room while waiting; none told Roman there would have been partner changes.

He and Patton had just turned, their backs facing, when suddenly his hand touched another one and there he was spinning slowly with a stranger.

Roman had a pair of purple irises fixed in his own, on a stoic face they were decorating, his head slightly tilted.

« Hi. » he had tried, but he only saw the star's eyes look down, ignoring his greeting.

That made Roman feel defeated, little did he know the stranger's goal was another and that he couldn't lose time on uneventful conversation.

One of each star's hand was intertwined with the others'.

Should have Roman been stoic as well? Could they talk during the event? Was he being judged by the other guy?

Still, after seemingly searching into Roman for some sort of hint, the other star kept looking behind his shoulders, especially on the front door, which was decorated with complicated bass-relief motives.

Was he more interested into the room's details than meeting new people?

Roman glanced around for clues and his eyes met smiling and chatting couples, giving him the impression that he had been doing something wrong.

Until he met Patton's look again and he noticed the signals he was giving him.

“It's him”, his lips mouthed and it finally hit Roman when Patton motioned towards the other with his eyes.

Roman blinked in bewilderment and turned back to his partner only to see him let go of his hand, his back already facing him, without a single chance for him to speak some last words.

His focus shifted again when a different light glowed into the room, he heard the door starting to open and everyone was pushed at both opposite sides of the room.

A path was now created, like a little temporary corridor.

Finally, from either door, two figures started walking down the path, making it very clear on their identity: the Sun and Moon had made their entrance.

Gold and silver shining like they were the only things in existence, the two met halfway and joined hands, making the whole audience restart their own dance.

Roman's companion had changed and it was now a lady part of a system, her name was Zeta, but he couldn't help but think back at how close he had been to his discovery.

Everytime he caught a glimpse of him, he lost it, happening so often that Roman had been closer to interact with the Moon instead.

Patton had told him his name was Remy, while the Sun's was Emile and they were part of a particular solar system which contained planets such as Jupiter, Mars, or his favourite, Saturn.

He had also been told there were rumors behind the two's different clothing; Emile was rumored to wear gloves so he could protect others from his burning touch, while Remy was never seen without his sunglasses, probably because he would have gone severely injured if he had directly looked at the Sun.

Busying himself with the search for his system's second star, he almost didn't notice it when people started scattering and some went back to chatting.

Emile and Remy took off their masks alongside everyone and respectively put on glasses and sunglasses.

« Hey there! »

Roman turned. « Holy stars, Patton! I can't believe I almost had him. »

« Well, at least you know he's here now, right? » the nebula started looking around from his spot to search for Virgil again.

« Yeah, I hope it'll be easier to- »

« Found him. » Patton pointed at a few feet next to them, where their object of interest was sitting, attentively staring at something or someone.

Roman felt something in his chest click as soon as he was able to see his face clearly: he didn't know how to describe it, but he loved and absolutely loathed it at the same time.

He realized he had been holding his breath only after he deeply exhaled, making Patton raise an eyebrow.

« Are you going to say hello, or …? »

That was not ideal.

That was actually utterly terrible, how he felt drawn to the other and yet terrified at the same time, the intensity making it a seemingly impossible goal.

Despite the other being the infinitely smaller star, Roman was in awe, like he couldn't compare to him in any sort of way; the aura he gave off was too strong, so much that he seemed to know the secrets of the universe before anyone else.

Roman couldn't explain it, but he had to talk to him or else he would've probably combusted.

What had gotten into him? Did the realization of actually having the possibility of making friends with the other half of his binary system just hit him? … Would the other really agree to such a friendship?

He was afraid to answer that. They barely knew each other, anyway.

Roman started approaching him and felt his legs as heavy as lead, his tongue tied and all the conversations that he had prepared basically gone from his mind.

So many years of longing for this meeting only for it to go into shambles.

Yet, there he was, at last standing next to him.

« Greetings, the name's Roman. » he achieved a single apparently annoyed glance. He looked still … in search of something. « I was wondering whether you were the star entitled as Sirius B. »

Roman finally got a reaction out of him, a slick turn of the head in an impressed expression. « How would you know that? »

Roman grinned and moved one hand from behind his back. « Well, you see, » he started, theatrically bowing down just that necessary to still look him in the eyes. « It just so happens that I am Sirius A. »

✾✾✾✾

Janus was mimicking Roman's gesture as Remus watched in awe.

« Who knows what Virgil will say? »

« Hold it- What do you mean? » Remus sluggishly said with his cheek pressed against the pillow.

« I mean that it's late and you should rest before your little school trip, alright? »

The kid didn't look very convinced.

Janus tried again. « Also, I'm going to give you a mission for tomorrow. »

Remus's eyes lit up again. « What is it? »

« You're going to have to find the stars I've been telling you about. There's going to be a dark room full of projections; it's gonna be fun. »

His nephew let out a “Ooh” of understanding and admiration, already picturing what it could have looked like.

« Come on now, » Janus helped him set into bed and kissed his forehead, at which, like any other night, Remus commented with a “gross” and wiped at his skin.

It was their little routine before Janus himself started preparing for the night.

He was pacing around the living room when he could have sworn he had heard something moving right outside of his apartment's door; he stood there for a second, simply staring at the doorknob, expecting it to twist at any second.

Nothing came through and thus he went to sleep.

He really needed a relaxing bath first.

Janus knew something had been off as soon as he had woken up; the uneasiness from the night before still lingered, pressing down on his stomach.

He could not deal with this.

It was six a.m. again and he was staring at the cupboard in the bathroom.

No, it was fine. He was fine, he could do it on his own.

He breathed deeply and exited the room only to find a perky Remus already up and excited for his trip.

The kid smiled up at him. « Is breakfast ready yet? »

Janus forgot all about how he had woken up.

Merely an hour and a half later, Remus had been dropped off at the school bus after making sure he had everything he needed and that he was under the supervision of all the class' teachers.

He was still going up the stairs of the condominium, when he noticed a figure fidgeting and standing by his door.

Brown curls, green eyes and still impossibly gorgeous.

Janus's stomach did a triple flip and he didn't know if it was for delight or bitterness. Of course, his mind blanked as soon as Clyde acknowledged him.

« Hey, J. » the tone was unsure.

None had been allowed to call him that in years.

« It's been a while … »

« Indeed. » he responded sternly, almost petrified as he waited for the other to state the reason for his visit.

« Uhm, I … needed to get a thing I left here. »

« Here. »

« Yeah. »

Clyde was trying his best not to make everything awkward, but Janus was making it godawfully impossible.

The star didn't talk any further and simply turned the keys to unlock the door, stepping in and aside to let the other enter.

« Get what you need and leave. » he didn't make eye contact, or else he would have been fucked.

A distraction.

Janus went into the kitchen, busying himself with getting things ready for lunch, while Clyde headed for Remus's room; there was a photo album he needed to get after all, there was no way Remus would have wanted to keep pictures of a dad that had given up on him.

He picked up the album and turned the first couple of pages. Then more and more.

Remus had cut out Clyde's face from any picture in which he had appeared.

It was a hit to his heart, a well deserved one, but a hit nonetheless; he put the album back and headed for the door, but something pulled him back to Janus.

The star eyed him warily.

« Did you get it? »

« Not really, but- I figured it doesn't matter anymore. »

Janus made an uninterested noise without looking back up at him.

« If there's anything- »

« We don't need your help. »

Clyde's eyes fell to the floor, but he insisted and came closer to the other, standing at his side.

« I know it's kind of hypocritical but were you to find yourself in a difficult situation- »

« Hypocritical? » Janus scoffed, finally turning to him and glaring at him.

He wanted to drown.

« The only time my situation becomes difficult is when you are around. » he could feel his insides heating up.

« Listen I know you hate me now- »

Oh, was that guilt tripping? That was guilt tripping.

« That's the issue. Everytime I see you, I get reminded of the fact that I just … I don't actually hate you and it sucks, so please leave. » he felt like he was on the verge of either tears or a crisis out of exasperation.

« Janus … » Clyde dared to lift a hand as the other tried to focus back on cooking.

« Don't touch me. »

« Listen. » the man took Janus's wrist anyway with the sole purpose of trying to put some sense into him.

Janus tried to wiggle free from his grip. « I said- » until … « Ugh! » he did.

But his hand had jerked back right onto his cheek, causing the knife he was holding to leave a deep cut through his eye and cheek.

He dropped everything and held his head as a luminous substance flowed out of his cut.

Star's blood.

« Oh my- Oh god, I- »

« Get out! » he yelled one last time and could only hear Clyde's steps as he hurried away from him.

Now there was something interesting about stars: they had a really peculiar way of healing, so much that hospitals wouldn't understand their ways. So Janus ought to help himself.

He quickly washed the blood out of his hands and ran into his room before he could pass out, closed the windows and turned every light off.

By memory he found the little box he had hidden in the bedside table, a secret drawer.

He opened it and a blinding light illuminated the room. That was the light that belonged to him as a star; once you disguise yourself as a human you get to keep it in case of emergencies.

Janus felt heat coming back to his body and pain retreating from his brain.

When he closed it everything felt normal again, despite the tiredness from what had just happened.

Then he looked in the mirror.

A terrible scar ran from above his eyebrow, down his eye and onto his cheek, still so fresh and yet … It looked like a childhood one. And he could still perfectly see.

He didn't want to deal with that right then: he went back to work on his meal and decided on a relaxation day as he didn't have work and really needed a rest.

All he wanted to do was scream and probably cry, but he decided on staring at the ceiling from the living room's couch.

By the time he woke up, he had to go pick up Remus from the school trip, which now required him to put on concealer on his face.

His nephew didn't mention anything about it around others.

But he wasn't certainly stupid.

Once in the car, he spoke up. « What happened to your face? »

« Can't a man wear make-up? »

« Yes, but you've never done It before. And you're not in love so there's none to make yourself pretty for. »

« Ouch, now I'm not pretty? » Janus chuckled.

Remus pointed a finger at him. « You're insecure! »

When will children stop being so brutally honest?

Once home, Janus went straight for the bathroom to wipe the concealer away. « You see, little duke, » he called from there. « Sometimes you don't want to explain things. Sometimes you can't. » he then went back to him and showed his scar.

« What happened? »

« An accident. I recovered quickly with some remaining starry powers. »

The kid seemed to accept it, despite being skeptical.

« Can I get one too? I want to be like a dragon! »

« Dragons don't have scars, kid. » Janus tilted his head.

« They do! It's written in books, they have them all over their bodies. »

« Sweetie, those are scales. »

Remus considered for a second, his eyes fixated on a random spot.

« Uncle, I think my life is a lie. »

Janus finally laughed for real and they decided to leave the corridor for the more important conversation to happen in the living room; the kid started going on about the astronomy museum and all its wonders.

« And then there was that big constellations projector like you mentioned and it was beautiful. » Remus mimicked how he would've showed him in the room, as if the projections were in their apartment. « The scientist knew everything about them, he answered every question, uncle Jee I want to go back! »

Janus smiled the entire time, especially at how his nephew was now looking at him with literal sparkles in his eyes.

« Your birthday is around, isn't it? We could go back then. »

The kid started jumping around in excitement. « I want to visit everyday! I could sell lemonade like they do in cartoons and pay my ticket everyday! »

He giggled, while Remus kept coming up with different ways to assist himself. « I don't think that's likely, but we could visit often if that's what you'd like. »

« But Logan … » the other murmured sadly. « The star man ... »

Janus theatrically scoffed. « Excuse you, am I not enough of a star human myself? »

Remus stuck his tongue out at him and started running around the room only to flee from his uncle's vision in order for him to try and chase him; Janus sighed in a “not this again” manner and walked towards his general direction.

The scar had already been long forgotten.

✾✾✾✾

After days of non stop talking about that one astronomer and the museum, Remus's birthday finally came around.

It didn't seem such a peculiar or important day for that same one astronomer the kid kept talking about, the intelligent and cool one that he wanted to celebrate with.

Logan was walking up the stairs to the museum, his beloved workplace he wouldn't have traded for any kind of amount of gold.

Thankfully, its location had been accessible to a great number of tourists and curious citizens ever since it had been founded, so that every worker could be easily secured in their position.

He waved at his colleagues as he headed to his little office where he often stayed late to do research along side other devoted astronomers; his afternoon shift was about to start, right on time to run through a couple of papers of the previous night before meeting his first group of the day.

Being a tour guide around a museum whilst assisting in astronomy research all the while had its perks and downsides.

Mostly for Logan, it was his insatiable need to let every single thought that ran in his mind directly out for others to hear and obtain as information. It had always been hard as a teenager, especially during high-school.

It wasn't that he studied irregularly – well, maybe sometimes – but he, unlike the majority of his classmates, had to do extra work on training his speech method. The bits of info that stuck to his head while he studied were far too many and growing with each passing test, which made it harder to form connected sentences.

Talking was even worse than writing, he had no time to re-formulate what he had said a minute earlier, he couldn't go back to check what was his initial point, making his oral tests a complete mess.

Despite this, knowing what he wanted to do in his life in the long run, he kept practicing, finding great treasure in info-dumping people about his special interests.

Getting to discuss this kind of matter with university colleagues was a far better help than feeling like you were talking to a wall when your interlocutor kept nodding and smiling, clearly ignorant of whatever you were talking about.

It had also helped to understand how exactly you should modulate your speech depending on the audience, making it all a perfect experience for a soon-to-be guide.

Logan left the room and finally met his momentary students, ready to prepare their minds for the bliss of knowledge.

He briefly glanced through them, multiple people all different from one another, proving the world that education could be for anybody; he moved through different topics with ease, basically dancing between different rooms as he caught glimpses of other interested visitors, such as curious middle schoolers, or a man with bright yellow gloves talking softly to a small excited kid next to him.

It was his place, he felt at home, that strange and rare belonging sentiment.

The satisfaction of leaving the last group of people whose minds wandered in the deepest parts of space, now devoid of questions.

Who he didn't expect to still be wandering around the various exhibits hours after their entrance was that same man with yellow gloves and … supposedly his kid?

Logan leaned on the wall of the room's entrance, still out of sight, trying to catch what kind of conversation might have kept them around for so long.

Not much to his surprise, he heard the man talk of stars with an impressive accuracy, pointing up at the big white and blue projector.

It felt like he had met them personally and conversed with them.

He found himself smiling involuntary as he recognized his own enthusiasm in the boy.

And then …

« It's almost closing time, so, are you ready to hear what Virgil had to say? »

Remus's eyes lit up impossibly more and yelled a convinced “yeah!” before sitting on his uncle's lap and pointing up towards the binary-star Sirius.

« There. »

… he was brought elsewhere.

✾✾✾✾

Virgil always thought they'd have looked the same.

Either some sort of twins or really similar, differently aged bodies, something as weird as that.

Now a gleaming figure stood before him, completely different from how he had imagined him, so much that he almost distrusted that information.

« Patton told me about you. » Roman added later, as if he had just read his mind.

After the initial awkwardness, noticing the blunt disinterest, he tried again.

« So, what would be the name of my system companion? »

The other star raised an eyebrow at the unusual title and looked away before he could respond, making his answer muffled by the music echoing in the room.

« Virgil. »

« Well then, a pleasure being your friend then, Virgil. »

That finally got a reaction out of him, as the smaller star snorted sarcastically. « I don't really think meeting one time is what it takes to be someone's friend, Roman. »

He laughed lightly. « My apologies, I don't actually know how it works, » still with a smile on, he looked down. « I don't really have friends. »

And there it was, something Roman had never seen before, but that he could've caught on Patton's expression sometimes, briefly.

The pitiful glance he would've learnt to recognize.

« Oh. » was all Virgil mustered to say. He had never faced that kind of situation.

« It's the big and terrifying thing, or some envy of sorts, I'm not sure … But I still have Patton! » Roman concluded, bright as before. « And it's also why I've been eager to meet you since I got to know about you. »

Virgil tilted his head as he quickly glanced between him and the dancing couples.

« Did he tell you about me? »

« A little. He wanted it to be more of a surprise for both of us, he was as excited as I was! »

Unlike you, it seems.

Roman frowned and brushed off the clear indifference of the other, instead trying to find common ground.

« Would you like to dance? »

Virgil finally looked at him properly, but it was as though he was trying to make a tough choice, whether that was a useful option to his goal, the same way he did the first time they met. His hand moved and almost reached Roman's, but hesitation got the best of him, his eyebrows furrowed, arm almost shaking.

Roman didn't understand; what was the issue? They had danced earlier. What was so different about it now?

« I- »

They were interrupted by a swarm of people coming their way, clearing up a path for the Sun and Moon to return back to their respective places, outside of the palace.

Which meant it was time for everyone to part ways.

« … I will go. »

And just like that, he was gone.

Roman repeated the events in his mind once he got back, immediately requesting Patton's presence. Just what in the planets had he just witnessed? There was nothing of the sweetness he'd fantasized about, nothing about introducing each other like old friends, nothing of that electric buzz in your chest, the one that makes you so sure that you do belong exactly where you are.

All he felt was dread, awkwardness and uncomfortable silence, loss of words. Stupidity.

That's what he was, so ingenuous to think both of them would've been happy to find each other at last.

Had Virgil ever even cared about all of this? Did Roman simply impose his dreams on the other?

« So that I'm sure I did not hallucinate, » the star huffed, an arm over his eyes as he laid down. « I did meet him. »

« That you did. » Patton said, sounding more certain than Roman himself.

« And … »

« And? »

« It sucked. » he got up. « We barely even talked! My mind was racing and going blank from agitation and he didn't even try to interact with me, Patton. He obviously doesn't want to be my friend! He definitely thinks I'm annoying at this rate. »

« Hey there, little sparkle, slow down with the all too quick affirmations now. » Patton's form outside of the palace made him almost look like he had wings for arms. « You see, we're not all the same. You met me, and I'm very energetic and mostly aligning with your extravagant character- »

« You think I'm extravagant? » Roman let in some fake disbelief.

Patton chuckled. « In the best way possible! What I mean is, it's easy for us to get along, but Virgil is pretty much the opposite of you, which makes it a bit difficult to immediately get along. You only need to give it some more time. »

The binary-star did feel reassured with his words.

Not completely, though they made sense, yet there was always something in the back of his mind that made him doubt those kind of words. The nebula could tell everytime Roman grimaced for seemingly no reason.

« Are you … » Roman calculated his words. Surely he didn't want to appear more doubtful than he was after his “defeat” at the ball earlier. « Are you sure it's not … »

« Roman, believe me, he'd be the last to care about the fact that you're … » he scrambled for examples. « A bigger star than the sun itself! Star systems share a deep intrinsic bond. Just go at his pace, he might only be distraught. »

« I heard someone talk about big stars. » a voice called over their shoulders. « So I couldn't help but stop by. »

A feminine body loomed before them, familiar almost spirited eyes checked Roman out from afar, until she was close enough to inspect both of them.

« Zeta. » Sirio-A called out unenthusiastically. « What brings you here? »

« Didn't see you dancing. Was wondering what kind of unforeseen event kept you from shining your true beauty upon those little kids. » they grinned. « But I see you're already hooked up. »

« Patton's always been a friend. » he replied in annoyance.

« I don't really do romances, thank you! » Patton offered right after with a bright smile.

« Oh. I apologize for assuming. » she said, before composing herself « Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you came to chat with me and Canopus instead of running around in search of a random dude. »

Zeta Ophiuchi had always been … an eccentric type of star, basking under the knowledge that she, Roman and Canopus were the brightest ones of the night sky.

She managed to enthrall Canopus in her own thinking, since the latter showed a less strong character than her friend; Roman, though? He'd never really been eager to feed the fire of greatness.

He had come to terms with the fact that all those acts of superiority didn't matter, since nothing really changed in their hierarchy.

« Why do you guys insist on keeping your title as names instead of choosing your own? » he derailed from the conversation.

« A little nosy, aren't we today? »

« Says the one who barged in uninvited. »

Zeta chuckled. « Touché. » she sighed afterwards. « It's because we want to stay true to our origin, partly because it also gives you a grip on your essence, your reality. It's empowering, Sirius. » she put much more emphasis on Roman's title.

He hated it with a burning passion.

Zeta lowered down at his eye-level. « Don't you think? » he wanted to wipe her grin away with a single death glare.

Patton muttered a “not again” under his breath; that occasion happened at least once a month, Zeta would pick at Roman's most sensitive spots and try to get past the thick walls he placed between himself and his insecurities.

« Well it's been a nice sunset! Why don't we go before it gets too dangerous for you to stay away from Ophiuchus, Zeta? »

She stared intently at Roman for a while longer before turning to the nebula and offering a fake smile and a nod. « Of course, Seagull. »

He breathed deeply, then waved sadly at his friend as Zeta followed quickly behind.

Roman understood how she and Canopus had been admitted to the same group as his, yet at the same time he couldn't believe how he had to deal with Zeta's teasing even in the palace.

Working towards his goal was going to be harder than he thought.

✾✾✾✾

« Zeta's a bitch! » Remus abruptly commented, causing his uncle's sudden laughter. « I like her. »

Janus tried to gain his breath back. « Yeah- » he chuckled. « She's going to be rather interesting in the future. »

« Well that was quite the story. »

His eyes widened and he turned towards the entrance of the projector room: there stood a man, probably around his age, with the usual formal outfits and the museum worker plate stuck to his shirt.

« I'm so sorry I- »

« Logan! » Remus sprinted to his feet and ran up the stranger like he was an old relative he loved and hadn't seen in ages.

So that was who Remus would always mention.

Janus walked up to them, trying to hide the embarrassment behind a polite smile. « Come on duke, we should get going now. »

« But he's the star man! »

Star man? Logan thought, low-key impressed.

« There's no need to rush actually. We'll be closing the exhibit rooms in an hour, but most of us tend to stay the night. » he smiled back, then looked down at the young boy. « How do you know my name? »

« I came here two weeks ago! » Remus excitedly said. « With school! There were two of you, you were the cool one. »

Logan recalled a school class and a co-worker helping out with timing.

« We came back for my birthday, but I thought you weren't here today. Can we celebrate together now? »

Janus let out a laugh between exasperation and amusement, then looked up at the astronomer. « He's grown fond of you. » he tried to explain.

« I can see that. » Logan crouched down to converse with Remus easily. « What would you want me to do? »

Never before an occasion like that one had occurred to him, plus an offer to spend time with people with his same interests other than his colleagues, thus less programmed to spit out information in any given situation, would have definitely been a breath of fresh air.

« Let's get ice cream. » Remus turned to his uncle. « Can we? »

Janus nodded. « If Logan is able to, I don't see why not. »

And Logan could afford leaving early every once in a while, so …

« Alright then, » he stepped aside from the entrance to let them exit. « I will let them know I'll be going out. » he pointed towards the offices and left.

About half an hour later, Remus was walking around the park, doing his best not to make the ice cream fall from his cone as he inspected all the bugs and insects he could find.

« I hope we're not wasting precious time. » Janus was walking alongside Logan not too far behind from Remus.

« Not at all. I have been actually told I could have used some free time every now and then. »

« Ah, are you the stay-in-late type? »

Logan moved his head from side to side in half agreement. « Sort of. It is mostly part of our job to carry on with research. You could say my work could be divided into day and night jobs. I do not mind it a single bit, to be fair. »

« Oh! » the star stopped dead in his tracks, realization hitting him, while the astronomer looked back at him, blinking in confusion. « How rude of me. » he extended his arm to the other. « My name is Janus Hydra. »

Logan gladly shook it. « Pleasure to be here then, Janus. »

The star smiled, then they went back to walking. « And the one who's trying to catch a butterfly is my nephew Remus. » he giggled as he watched the kid almost stick his cone into a tree.

« It was very thoughtful of you to bring him to the museum for his birthday. »

« Yes, well, he wouldn't stop mentioning it day and night. It would've been rude of me not to do so. »

Logan caught an odd detail in that sentence. « You live with him? » he asked, trying to be as cautious and considerate as possible.

Janus nodded and, for the first time, he wasn't asked why. He was silently grateful for, objectively, a stranger not trying to peer into his personal life as much as others would do.

« So, what about you? I haven't seen you around my workplace, yet you seem to be knowledgeable about stars. » he thought back at the moments in which he pointed up at the constellations with impeccable precision. « Is it a simple personal passion? »

« You could say that. It's something like a family thing. As you may have noticed, my surname comes from a constellation, by which I could deduce that probably one of my ancestors decided it was going to be our legacy. »

Logan could … honestly see that.

« Very peculiar. I can imagine the- »

« L, look! » Remus ran up to them with a butterfly in his hand. « Which one is this? »

Logan cupped one hand under his. « I suggest not to take it by the wings, » with the other, he instructed Remus to drop it gently on his palm. « Touching them damages them as it removes the material on them which permits butterflies to distinguish and disguise themselves. Furthermore, your risk to damage or even completely break the wings. They're pretty fragile. » the little insect walked up to his fingertip. « Here. » he offered as he gestured for Remus to carefully let the butterfly walk on from Logan's to his hand.

« This one is a Morpho Menelaus, also known as blue morpho. »

« I read they can drink from puddles. » the kid said as he lowered the insect next to one on the ground.

« That's true, they have a varied diet. Did you know some can drink blood as well? »

Remus jumped to his feet, a wide grin on his face. « They can?! »

Logan made a diverted expression at the difference between Remus's reaction and Janus's unpleasant disbelief.

« There's a moth species in Asia with this ability, if it pleases the butterfly of course, it's rare but not undone. »

Time seemed to dilate as Remus kept asking for more facts to the “cool man who seemed to know everything”, the small talk between the latter and Janus to slowly get to know each other more and the general pleasant aura made them forget it was almost time for dinner.

« Wait. » Remus, once again, caught everyone's attention. « What about my birthday gift from Logan? »

Janus wanted to intervene, but Logan seemed way ahead of him already.

« How inconsiderate of me, you are absolutely correct, I should have prepared for this important event. » he pretended to think about it. « How about you can come to the museum whenever you want without the need of a ticket? »

Remus beamed, that was the best t-

« No. »

And his heart skipped a beat for a moment. He turned to look at his uncle with disappointment, but Janus's glance was fixed on Logan's.

« I refuse to not support your job. We will pay, like any other visitor. »

« Let's make a deal, then. You can come whenever you'd like and stay later than closing time, while I get to hear the story you were telling earlier as well. »

That was entirely unexpected. What was so charming about events he had witnessed? It didn't sit completely right with him, but who was he to deny saving money for the sake of his nephew's happiness?

Janus looked down at Remus who had assumed the “cat with the boots” adorable pleading face.

« Alright, you win this one, but I still owe you. » he warned Logan.

« Completely fine with me. »

« Are you sure it's okay to do, still? »

The astronomer had no doubts. « I will find a way, no need to worry. I'll be expecting you two tomorrow? » he asked, tilting his head almost imperceptibly to the side.

The other two agreed to come say hi after Remus had been done with school and thus they parted ways.

As Janus drove home, he realized he hadn't felt the all too familiar dawning of anguish a single moment of the day.

Was that going to be the eagerly awaited turning point?

Ever since they started visiting the museum, Remus and Janus took their time to explore every room and all the documents the exhibit had to offer, which made it really effective to tire Remus out in anticipation of bedtime.

Thus, the storytelling would often get postponed, especially since they wanted Logan to also be present, though he had to run important experiments during the first few weeks. They so decided to change it from a bedtime story to “their thing”, under the faint light of a constellations projector.

A month had now passed since their first encounter, and they finally managed to all sit down together in the almost dark room.

« Here's an apology gift. » Logan pushed a box in front of Remus who immediately wrapped off the paper encasing it.

« Apology for what exactly? » Janus asked with an eyebrow raised. « You're already letting us stay here for free. » it had become like a second home at that point.

« I know, but I have been around very briefly and I had to sneak you in late to cut out some time for you. »

« We aren't expecting you to be here every single time, Logan, you work here … »

« And you're also forgiven! » Remus exclaimed showing the little glow-in-the-dark stars stickers he already couldn't wait to put up in his room.

Janus chuckled under his breath. « You still didn't have to. » he made himself comfortable against the room's wall.

« If everyone's ready, I shall begin. »

✾✾✾✾

Roman felt like Virgil had been missing for most of the sunset dances.

He hadn't caught a glimpse of him in weeks, he felt as if he had been playing hide and seek all this time; Patton told him not coming wasn't possible, like stars were literally just teleported fully dressed to the ballroom the second it begun.

He had also been pretty busy avoiding Zeta and Canopus – not that the latter was any threat to him, actually she would've been easily persuaded to not tell on his location – that time ran out before he could meet up with Virgil.

All hope had been lost as he laid against a column and turned away from the dancing couples.

And he saw Virgil, a few meters away, sitting on a marble sort of parapet like he was ready to jump on his feet and leave. He was surrounded by a lack of other stars.

« Hey there. » Roman waved from his spot and his system's partner turned to him with the quickest neck movement he'd ever seen.

He looked as tired as someone who'd been dancing around all night.

… trying to … avoid someone …

Okay, they were both tired as hell.

Virgil gave the most effortless wave he could muster.

« Haven't seen you lately. » Roman pointed out. « Still, would you sit down with me? I don't think I can handle standing a minute longer. »

« I concur. » Virgil responded, grateful.

They slid down to the floor in almost perfect synchrony, simply watching what was going on before them: Roman was able to catch Patton's eyes and smile at him.

« Remember when you said I'm not a good judge of what is and isn't a friendship? »

« Didn't phrase it like that, but sure. »

« Does someone who's constantly bothering you and generally poke at your limits seem like a friend? »

Virgil took a silent but deeper look at the other and noted in his mind how exasperated he sounded.

« That sounds more like someone's been annoying you non-stop. That's … not exactly friendship either. »

Roman sighed, trying not to spiral into hysteria by the end of the night; he could hear Zeta's imposing voice in every corner he tried to escape.

How to break into silence?

« What do you think about going to the balcony? »

Virgil didn't hate the idea, but worry got the best of him. « Isn't that section of the palace reserved to the Sun and Moon only? »

His acquaintance displayed a mischievous smile. « Not if we get back before anyone notices. » he pulled himself to his feet, offering his hand to the other confidently.

Virgil couldn't help but take it and venture into unexplored areas; the hallways decorations were pretty much the same, if not less sumptuous, of the ballroom. He watched as Roman pushed glass doors open and revealed a terrace with a view of the Earth's sunrise on the sky above them.

They must have been on the Sun's wing. He felt suddenly more agitated about his presence there.

« Finally, » Roman took large steps to the parapet and leaned on it, closing his eyes to the gentle breeze caressing his hair. « A moment of silence. »

Virgil mimicked him. « I hadn't felt this peaceful nothingness in a long while. »

The other opened one eye to give him a sideways look. « You have visitors? »

« People have been fussing over me for some reason ever since we made our debut here. »

That explained the ever tired look, the staying behind as stars danced and had fun, and especially the unwanted attention.

« They say they find me cute or whatever, only because I'm the smaller star in the binary system. It's … really annoying. Kind of offensive, if I can say. »

« Here we are, » Roman chuckled to himself. « Both socially exhausted because everybody's patronizing you, while I'm being picked at constantly. »

« It's our system's fatal flaw. » Virgil confessed dramatically, which made the other snort, surprised by the sudden burst of confidence with joking around him.

They spent some more minutes in silence, the music from the ballroom was barely audible, like they were slowly being taken away.

Neither of their situations were desirable, but Roman really could've used some positive attention every once in a while, instead of laying in the dreadful awaiting of being ridiculed, as whoever else passed by him tried not to make eye contact.

He didn't realize he had progressively lowered his head to rest on the parapet's rail, his eyes half-lidded. He dared to take a quick glance at Virgil, standing tall as he observed the morning sky: every movement of his purple irises looked like a stroke of a brush on an expensive painting.

There, he looked much bigger than the universe they were in, some sort of irony against his usual small perception, which caused other stars to nickname him as “the pup”.

Roman's face portrayed an amused smile as he imagined Virgil being one of Earth's small dogs he had been told about.

It quickly faltered though, as soon as he shook the thought away, the sorrowful reality of his loneliness hit him and he couldn't stop himself from murmuring his belief to the sunrise.

« I really have only one friend, huh? »

The quiet around made it possible for Virgil to hear clearly, so he turned and looked at him from above, pondering whether or not it was appropriate of him to console Roman in some way.

At the end of the day, they really were alike, as distinct as they still could appear.

« You can have me? Two isn't much higher than one, but it isn't as bad. »

Roman averted the sky to disperse his bewilderment directly into Virgil's eyes, all fluttery eyelids and raised eyebrows.

« That would be so much better. » Virgil was glad to be the cause of his smile for once. « Thank you, Virgil. »

« You can call me Virge. »

Roman started cooing mockingly. « Aw, you're opening up to me. »

« And already regretting it, thank you very much. »

The other genuinely laughed and his expression softened, letting silence set one more veil above them.

« I wish I could visit you. » Roman then said after admiring the landscape. « We'd make sleepovers along with Patton- »

« Stars don't sleep. »

Oh, damn it. They had gotten so lost in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the music fading out completely.

As they turned, they noticed Emile at the entrance of the terrace, a warm expression set on his face, some sort of understanding as he had his arms folded over himself and sparkles of light all around.

He wasn't hostile, yet he knew they didn't belong there. Still, he wasn't one to reprimand.

« You should hurry back, friends. » he suggested, leaving one of the two doors free for them to pass through.

The two quickly made their way towards the hallway, but for Virgil it felt like an eternity: the moment he locked eyes with the Sun, it was as though his body refused to acknowledge its own movements. He didn't realize Roman had been tugging him by the sleeve as Virgil walked right past Emile, never leaving his glance.

Roman turned back to him as they half-ran towards the ballroom, noticing Virgil still hadn't turned his head from the balcony's entrance.

« Are you alright? »

« Huh? » Virgil quickly moved to look forward and find Roman's curious face.

The bigger star noticed the glimmering lights on his cheeks: a common feature which meant a star was happy or feeling intense emotions.

He saw Roman furrow his eyes, like he was trying to connect the dots, but rapidly ignoring it as they had made their way through the ballroom.

This time, Roman had a different tale to tell Patton.

✾✾✾✾

« So- uh? »

As Janus had been stroking Remus's hair absentmindedly, he hadn't realized the kid's breath had been slowing down to an evenly repeated movement: as he looked down, he saw his nephew biting through his glove in his sleep.

« It really sounds like an effective bedtime story. » Logan commented as Janus carefully placed Remus's head on his shoulder. He helped him stand up without losing balance and they quietly made their way towards the exit and, subsequently, Janus's car as, like Logan said, “it was the least he could do for them that night”.

« Are you going to go back in? » Janus whispered as he kept an eye on the backseat of his car.

Logan checked his watch, noticing time had flown by rather quickly, no wonder the kid had already fallen asleep. « I think so, yes. »

« Okay. » the other nodded. « Don't stay too late, Remus is not the only one who needs sleep. »

« I am fully aware of what a healthy circadian rhythm consists of. » he threw in a slight, non-harmful piece of sarcasm in his voice.

« Oh, I know you do. I was just making sure you knew you aren't elected to ignore it either way. »

Logan was delighted by the atmosphere: it was always pleasant to realize the exact moment in which you got closer to someone, the caring feeling hidden under friendly banter.

He was glad someone was looking out for him in that way.

« I'll theorize about what's going to happen next in your tale to help myself, then. »

« Hey, » Janus pointed towards him. « Don't you dare use that excuse to stay up later, though. »

« Will not do. » Logan chuckled. « Seriously, though, you needn't worry. »

« Fine. » he said, realizing that maybe his “mother-hen” senses had been activated the moment his nephew had fallen asleep.

He looked back at his little duke, and took a step backward, moving to his car.

« Well- »

Janus raised his arm to wave, but was interrupted by his friend's sudden words.

« I was thinking, » Logan was tapping his fingertips together before stopping altogether and making eye contact, like he had forgotten what he was doing. « If you'd like to and if you have time, we could hang out? It doesn't always have to be my workplace, or be a rushed thing. »

« That would be lovely! I can't really leave Remus alone nowadays and I always work when he's at school, as I imagine you do as well, but you could definitely come visit when you're off. »

Both of them were thrilled of the thought of spending quality time with each other for once.

« Oh, right. I could pick you up from work and you could have dinner with us! »

« Sounds excellent. » Logan moved slightly and a speck of street light hit part of his face, lighting up one of his eyes.

It was there that it was clear how the dark of the night made everything seem more mysterious and grim.

They waved each other goodbye, deciding to agree upon the day of their meeting via text.

Janus heard Remus shuffle in his seat, he was gripping tightly at the door's handle.

The moment he looked back ahead of himself he noticed an unusual glimmering under his eyes: he quickly checked on the rear-view mirror, finding the same sparkles he had described in his story.

He in-took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever was going to come in the future, while all he could think about were sharp looks and a poised personality.

That sure as the sky was going to be interesting to witness.

For example, it was deeply interesting when he received a call from Logan, the latter insisting he couldn't be able to sleep; the sound of the phone ringing had also woken Remus up, whom unceremoniously plopped onto his uncle's bed right beside him as soon as he heard Logan's voice.

Now he had two restless kids to put to sleep.

« This isn't an excuse for both of you to stay up later is it? »

« I wanted to talk to Logan too! »

« And I forgot to get melatonin on my way to work. »

After arguing to get him to make a physical note to leave on his table for the morning after, Janus allowed the man to stay on the line and Remus to get comfortable under the covers, while only the bedside table lamp was on.

✾✾✾✾

The terrace scene had replayed in Virgil's head for weeks.

Ever since the start, his goal had been the one to be able to reach the Sun, the one childhood hero he had grown to love, now he had him at his fingertips and yet, he was still so distant.

He danced with strangers to gain courage to get as close as possible to him, but he couldn't find it to touch his hand, let alone when he had to speak a single word to him.

The Sun seemed kind-hearted, he was for sure as well, he knew he wouldn't have been the target of insults for his deep admiration.

Despite all of this, he was still scared.

He was going to explode if he didn't speak up about it anytime soon.

« Are you alright? »

That question again, while the same thoughts circled in his mind, ones he couldn't keep in anymore.

« I think I'm in love with him. »

Roman battered his eyes. He had been spending most of the dance time with him, venting to each other about whoever came to visit or simply relaxing in the quietest spot they were allowed to reach.

They hadn't danced together once yet.

« Care to explain further? »

How could he when he couldn't even say his name?

« The sun. » Virgil hardly let out any voice. « I just- » he felt all the tension wash away as he looked into Roman's red irises, willing to gather more knowledge on the situation. « I'm happy to come here only because I have a chance to see him, but every single time someone else sweeps him away before I can even reach him. »

That would've been Remy, Roman thought.

« And even if I had the opportunity … I couldn't take it. It's stronger than me and it's eating me alive at the same time. » his breath was heavy with emotion.

Roman made space to a new feeling as well. There was only one way he could explain it.

Daggers.

Daggers piercing through your chest and stomach, multiple of them slowly and attentively burning holes in every vital organ, becoming sharper the longer Roman breathed through it.

It was because of empathy, right? He felt awful for Virgil's incapacity to interacting with the one he loved.

So why would the thought of helping him deepen the sharpness of those knives?

« I just … need to at least talk about it with someone. I only ever really have this opportunity with you and then again, staying alone with my thoughts- »

« It makes you want to scream. »

Roman wanted to yell the pain away.

« Like your organs are contorting … »

And twisting and looking for a way out of your body.

« … And your heart is in your throat, trying its best to escape. »

Virgil nodded, an aching expression displayed on his face.

« Why don't you just go? Next time, you just throw yourself in. Be yourself. It's always what they tell you to do. Let it happen, be natural and respect his boundaries. A path will slowly be open to you. »

What was he doing?

Virgil let the information sink in and, slowly, that pained face transformed into a warm smile.

That. That's what I'm doing. That's what I always want to do.

It was also how they tended to spend the sunset and sunrise dances ever since; Roman would sit down with Virgil in the corner and psych him up for him to be able to, eventually, open up to the opportunity of meeting Emile for real.

And, at the same time, he watched himself struggle and fall down, masking himself for the sake of the other.

On a particular night, he was walking away from the room alone, a myriad of thoughts surrounding his mind.

He didn't even have what he wanted.

« No, I do. » he retorted to himself, stopping dead in his tracks.

Virgil was his friend, that's all he had ever wanted ever since he found out about his existence, so why was it just not enough yet? Why was it so doleful, the idea of the friend he craved being so happy with someone else?

Why couldn't it just admit his emotions to himself? Why was there always a wall between him and how he felt?

« Would you please like to get moving? » he felt a hand push him from his back and the sight of Zeta and Canopus at her side obscured his mind from whatever he was thinking.

He didn't react much other than get to walking again, everything would've been fine, to some extent, if he didn't hear her whisper to her friend about how she was going to stop at Sirius's star before.

Anxiety surged in his stomach, up to his stomach, pumping his heart more than needed.

« You've been distraught. » she announced as they landed on his star. « What's up? »

« You think I'd tell you? »

« Why do you have anyone else to say that to? »

Roman looked down: as much as he hated to admit it, she was right.

« That still doesn't mean I suddenly want to open up to you. »

« Sirius, come on, you think you'll ever get the chance to do so with that little kid? »

« His name is Virgil. » he growled.

She tilted her head, mouth open. « Protective aren't we? » he clicked her tongue three times. « Not good, Sirius, not good. As I was saying, you'll never have the chance to talk with anyone but me and Canopus. »

Shut up.

« Patton won't be able to be here for you forever. »

Shut up.

« And everybody knows how Sirius B's star is slowly dying- »

« Can you stop for once in your life?! »

Zeta watched as Roman put his hands on his ears, eyes wide with panic, his entire body was trembling as he sat down, his sadness finally hitting him. Tears welled in his ruby eyes as too many concerns formed inside him.

« Don't talk about him. » he managed to say through the sobs. « Don't mention him, in any way, I don't want you to even think about him. »

Zeta arched an eyebrow and stepped closer, offended by the sudden burst. « You really need to own up to your true title and stop hanging around the pathetic ones. »

She walked away from him, until yelling took her by surprise.

« I love him! » Roman admitted, pulling his arms away from his eyes, his face reddened and wet with sorrow. « Are you happy?! I love him and he definitely doesn't. »

He looked down and all he saw was opaque misery.

« Well of course he doesn't. » she spat, turning back to give him one last disgusted glance. « Look at yourself. »

The last dagger.

Roman collapsed and let out all his anguish.

Yet again, he was going to find himself left behind, alone in his shuddersome melancholy.

And no one else had to know.

✾✾✾✾

There was a beat of silence.

« Uncle, how am I going to sleep after all of that? »

Janus grinned mischievously. « I like to torture my readers. » then he picked up the phone again and whispered. « But listen. »

Nothing more than a slow breathing came from the other end.

« Want to say goodnight? »

Remus nodded vigorously. « Night Lol! » he then watched as Janus hung up. « Is Roman going to be okay? »

Janus shrugged. « Maybe. »

« I'm going to kick you off the bed. »

« I'd tease you more but I recognize you're actually able to do that. »

« Good. » Remus smiled and eventually tucked himself further in bed, ready for a good night's sleep. And maybe some chaos in the middle of it, but it wasn't like his uncle had to know.

On a fortunate weekend, Janus and Remus were finally driving back to their apartment with a new component of their little group. Logan was contentedly sitting in the passenger seat, ready for another one of the peculiar nights around who became in no time two of his favorite people.

As he made his way through the porch, he noticed how Remus had wanted to stick the glow-in-the-dark stars on every single apartment wall. In fact, he had told the astronomer how sometimes he would convince his uncle to have a sleepover in different rooms.

« Imagine sleeping in the kitchen and waking up to breakfast ready! »

« That literally already happens, I always cook you something before you wake up. And don't think I don't notice those midnight snacks. »

The dinner went by nicely, Logan had settled in quickly, like he had always belonged there: he helped with food and to hinder Remus whenever it was extremely needed, or at least keep him company while he played as Janus was busy in the kitchen.

Having Logan around felt like the most normal thing ever and Janus was grateful to have a friendship like his.

Before he knew it, the sparkles were back. He fought them away as he called the other two, trying to keep himself through the entire meal, but it was absolutely impossible as he kept laughing and smiling thanks to someone so dashingly-

Hold up. Back on track.

You're supposed to fight it back, not welcome it, you dumbass.

Remus lost interest in the TV show he was following and left the room to go play with his toys once he had finished eating, taking some ice cream with him.

In the middle of a conversation, Janus absentmindedly rubbed at his cheek, not noticing he had taken off some of the makeup he meticulously had put on before he left home.

Someone else noticed, of course.

« Oh- You have- Hang on. » Logan bent over the table, thinking an eyelash had fallen on Janus's cheek, though when he noticed it didn't fall off, rather it expanded, he arched his eyebrows and sat back, looking at the makeup residue on his fingertips.

Janus's heart had skipped multiple beats since then. What was he supposed to say now?

« I would never pry, but, is everything alright? »

Seeing the genuine concern and care behind Logan's glasses, he convinced himself it was time for him to learn the story behind him.

Not every single detail … as he would've never believed him.

« It's … kind of a long story. » he began, folding his hands together on the table. « Remus's mother, she was my sister. She had married this man, Clyde Davis. »

« The therapist? »

« You know him? » the world surely was very little.

« Not personally. » his doctor had suggested him as he was also a psychiatrist, to help with his sleep issues.

« Well, they were together for a few years, then they had Remus and everything was going splendidly. » his glance moved from his hands to Remus playing in the other room. « Until my sister fell ill. It didn't take too long for it to consume her … I was already staying by their side pretty much daily, supporting them. » he sighed deeply and passed a hand on his face. « When she passed away, it also didn't take long before Clyde decided to start a new life … without Remus. »

« He … passed him onto you? Just like that? » Logan was bewildered negatively.

« Yes. He said we reminded him too much of her and he couldn't stay in that kind of environment anymore. »

« I understand the decision, but, and pardon my french, that is what they call a “dick move”. »

Janus couldn't help but giggle at that. « Yeah, I can't believe I used to be in love with him. »

Wait.

Earthlings, Janus, you fool!

That was it, he ruined automatically whatever he had created with Logan with a single sentence because he forgot the humans' moral compass.

Right before he could spiral, he felt a hand on his and, when he looked up, he saw his friend's reassuring expression.

« It's okay. Sometimes we love people who hurt us, it can happen and we cannot control what our heart dictates. »

Janus blinked multiple times, then couldn't bare his stare anymore and looked down again. Then at their joined hands.

He took another breath. « Remus and I were perfectly fine by ourselves, dare I say Remus's presence lit up my days more than I did his. Then one day he appeared on my doorstep and it took all I had in myself to not slam the door right on his face. He insisted he had left something behind and decided to retrieve it after two years. Needless to say … he made me very upset. »

He scrunched his face for a second.

« I had a knife in my hand … and, well, I accidentally injured myself while trying to prove a point. » he wiped further at his cheek and part of his eyebrow and forehead. « Thankfully it wasn't as deep as it seemed. »

« I'm really sorry all of that happened. » Logan grimaced. « I would gladly teach him a lesson if he ever comes in my sight. »

Janus snorted. « Will you tell him about Runaway stars? »

« I hate and love that sentence at the same time, but as much as it would be the most intently ironic topic ever, I do have mediocre experience in explaining about how to raise a child in an healthy environment. »

He nodded. « Yes, that would be an incredibly helpful topic. »

« For future reference, of course. »

« Ah yes, not like he ever needed that in the past. » Janus had waited for this kind of conversation to happen with someone for ages.

« I'm glad you told me when you didn't have to. » Logan eventually confessed. « I imagined something like this had happened, but I preferred you were the one to brush the subject first. »

Janus had always been grateful for that. « You're the first and only one so far. » they both smiled at that. « But yes, I just didn't want you to worry about this. » he said, pointing to his scar.

Logan didn't exactly control his next words. « Not that I can not worry for you nonetheless. »

No, don't do that to me.

« Sometimes it's like … I wished I could stay longer. I suppose it has to do with the fact that I like being around to help the two of you, be it with chores or having fun. Instead I keep rushing back and forth from home to work lately. »

Janus bit the inside of his cheek. « You're always welcome here if you want to distract yourself. Just be sure to take care properly. »

« I know I should. I never seem to have enough time in a day. »

« Then let us. » Janus started grinning and laid back against his seat. « Remus makes a killer combination of ice cream and we know all the best TV shows, I'm fairly sure you have a similar taste to mine. Oh my, I can't imagine you with a face mask- »

« Please spare me. » Logan pretended to be scared for his life as the other couldn't contain his laughter anymore.

« It's too late. The plan is already in motion. »

Their conversation derailed until wine settled in to make everything more light hearted.

Remus ventured in the room around 10, announcing he was tired by letting half of his body rest on top of his uncle's legs. He carried him towards his bed and, that time, both Logan and Janus had sat down next to him for the night's storytelling.

✾✾✾✾

« Gosh, this really is harder than it originally sounded like. » Patton had been rubbing Roman's back for the past minutes as he had lost all the energy to dance after the previous week's realization.

Dare he say, he was actually trying to avoid Virgil in any kind of way. His absence would've probably helped him far more to finally approach Emile, anyway. He was just helping him further, wasn't he?

« I feel awful. » the nebula admitted, a sour taste in his mouth. « One-sided feelings are difficult to accept, though not impossible to overcome. It may sound stupid, but you'll feel better with time, Ro. I assure you. »

« You're right, it sounds stupid. » he had never heard his voice so low.

Patton smiled sadly. « I know. But I do feel like, instead of inconveniencing yourself further, you should spend as much time as you are allowed to with him. » he looked back at him. « And none says Emile automatically reciprocates. »

« Don't get my hopes up. »

« I was just saying. » Patton used his sing-song voice, the one that never failed to make Roman smile. « Either way, I'll always be here to be your moral support. »

« Believe me, you'll also always be a far better moral support than Zeta. »

« She isn't the best in that department. »

Both Patton and Roman looked up and the latter found Canopus sitting next to him.

« She thinks she looks out for people. She has good intentions, but she's still a little confused on her methods. » it was usual of her to defend Zeta, but Roman was glad she shared nothing of Ophiuchus' star's attitude.

« I think she should understand not every single one of us is under her supervision. »

Canopus nodded, lying against the column which was lining up perfectly with her back.

« Why has she left you alone? » Roman didn't mind her, she was actually one of the kindest stars he knew, but seeing her by herself made him skeptical.

« Did she hurt you? We would stand by your side in case! »

Canopus giggled and put up her hands. « It's okay. No, she's … talking to someone. » she pointed to Roman. « Your co-star? Virgil? »

That was the last straw-

« Don't you dare. » Patton pulled Roman back down on his seat, though the other was fuming with rage already. « Canopus, dear, why would Zeta converse with Virgil without you? »

« She said she needs to ask him a question. A rather personal question, something she didn't want me to know, I guess. » she looked into Roman's eyes with determination. « She vowed to never lie to me many, many years back. I'm sure she isn't saying anything about you. You know how she's all for honor, I don't think she would tell on you like that. »

As much as Zeta's ways had always been pretty drastic, Roman believed her, though the curiosity of what she might have been asking was eating him away.

More than being curious, for Virgil the experience was dreadful.

You suddenly saw one of the biggest stars in the room come up to you and ask about your feelings, like everyone in the room could've read you easily.

« This is going to sound weird. » she declared as she took Virgil's hand when they exchanged dancing partners. « But I need to know this out of you. Do you by any chance nurture any kind of romantic feelings towards Sirius A? »

Virgil felt dumbfounded. « No. » he quickly said, quicker than needed. « I do not. » he added, trying to mimic her poised nature.

« So, if there ever was another potential lover, you'd think the path would be clear for them? »

Was that hope in her voice? The tiniest tremble in a heated room.

« I definitely think so. » she glanced back in a direction unknown to Virgil.

« Thank you. » she whispered before disappearing back in the crowd; he stepped away from it, finding easily Emile's bright figure dancing and smiling like it was the first time with some stars unknown to him.

« Isn't he beautiful? »

Damn. That really was the richest night he had, huh?

Right next to him stood the Moon themselves; Remy was holding their glasses, letting their gleaming silver eyes rest for a while.

« Truly. » he agreed, letting the softness take him away.

« I couldn't ask for a more amazing dance partner every night. » Virgil wished he could share a piece of their happiness.

« I can only imagine. » he looked down, gaze fixed onto the Sun.

Remy titled their head. « You haven't danced with him yet? »

Virgil shook his head no and bite his lip. He so wished to do so.

« Then fear not, sweetie, I got your back. » they put back their sunglasses and carefully led Virgil to dance in swirls around the room, so that his next partner would have been Emile for sure.

« It's an experience to try. He's like, the most magnificent star I've ever met. »

« I know. » Virgil's tone was now more dreamy. « I've seen him everyday in front of me, I've been hoping to interact with him ever since I was little. »

« That sounds adorable, darling. Your wish is my command, humans use to wish upon stars, but it's truly only the Moon that hears them and guides them through their path. »

Remy noticed they were close to the partner change.

« One last question. What's your title? »

« Sirius B. I'm part of a binary star-system. » Virgil felt Remy's grip loosen on his hand and, slowly, he was let to someone else.

« Good luck, Virgil. »

Remy's nod was the last thing he saw before turning and finding Emile smiling down at him.

As for the Moon, he found himself dancing with Patton. « Ah! My favorite Nebula! »

« Hello Remy. » Patton giggled at Remy's extra antics. « I see you were talking to Virgil. »

« Yeah, the guy was totally scared. Like, girl, I know I'm a big deal, but you're starting to make me feel like royalty, that's going to feed my ego. » they let out a laugh, but composed themselves rather rapidly. « Say, he told me something that kind of left me perplexed. »

Oh, no.

Patton feared Virgil had disclosed his feelings, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't have been so ingenuous to reveal them to the Moon, of all presents.

« He seemed to express deep admiration for Emile. » was it really what he was thinking? « But he said he's in front of him? Like a childhood kind of admiration, you know? Someone you look up to ever since you're born. Weird, because last time I checked, Sirius B is in front of Sirius A. »

« Hold on. » Patton's eyes widened and the couple stopped in the middle of the room. « Are you telling me he hasn't been praising the Sun just because of all the stories about him, but because he has mistaken it for Roman? »

« Seems so. I wanted to let you know, in case there had been a misunderstanding. »

« Oh my gosh, Remy! » Patton pulled both of them out of the crowd. « That is fantastic news! »

« It is? Did I do a good job? Have I earned a gold star? » Remy smirked as the nebula laughed his heart out between his excitement and the pun.

They reached Roman in no time, who had decided to sit by himself during the entire night.

« You're not going to believe this, Ro! »

Patton took Roman's hands in his and smiled brightly as he narrated everything that had just happened with Remy's assistance when it came to what exactly happened between him and Virgil.

Despite now realizing that Virgil's feelings should have been directed at him, Roman's expression didn't differ.

« You do know that changes nothing, right? »

Patton's face fell. « Wh- »

« Pat, listen. Even if he'd mistaken his feelings for the wrong person, Virgil has still developed feelings for Emile, not for me. He isn't going to direct them towards me only because of a tiny mistake, it isn't how they work. »

Remy leaned over Patton. « Uh, I'm going to let you guys work this out, not because I'm jealous or whatever, promise. I don't wanna intrude. Hope you figure it out. » then they spared one last look for Roman. « But dude, why not tell him? He's still your friend, and he has only just met Emile, after feeding off of a false image of him. » then, the Moon shrugged. « But you do you, sir. Have a nice rest of the night. » with that, they disappeared.

« I won't force you, Ro. But do know that I support you. »

Roman didn't feel like having the same sharp daggers through his stomach again, yet a huge part of him was pulling him to his feet. With no other word, he let himself between the dancing couples.

And, of course, in no time he clasped hands with Zeta.

« Here for another lecture? »

« No, not tonight. »

Roman scoffed. « I thank you for blessing me. »

Silence fell between them as Roman caught sight of Virgil and the Sun. And their happiness. And how he had never made him smile so wide, how he had never made his eyes glimmer like that, how he hadn't gotten a single sparkle out of his cheeks the way he had had it on for the entirety of his dance with Emile.

Feeling under motivated, he looked away, deciding against intervening. Who was he to break his little dream?

Virgil really had been living his dream.

But everybody knows sometimes dreams tend to turn into nightmares.

« I'm glad I get to inspire the younger ones. » Emile made dancing feel natural. « Though I must ask you something as well, after seeing such adoration. » he looked in Virgil's eyes deeply. « Are you being true to yourself and honest with your feelings, Virgil? »

Agitation grew into him. « W-what would that mean? » he stuttered, his cover already blown.

« You don't have to lie about what you feel only because you fear the outcome. You already know that star in front of you is not me but it's Roman, you've known all along but you've masked it with me so Roman would have backed away thinking his interest was one sided. »

Virgil had never felt more read through in his entire life, like he had had the truth plastered on his face the entire time.

The guilt in his eyes told Emile he was spot on.

« Why is that so, little one? »

« Everybody knows what happens when two stars of a system collide they either become a single bigger star, or produce a black hole. » Virgil looked down. « I … I feared the outcome of our relationship. I figured if I made him step away, nothing like that would've happened. I didn't want to risk it. »

The Sun frowned. « You were ready to give up both of your happiness? »

« For the sake of potentially every star in this room? Yes. » he could taste his own sour words. « Nothing else matters. »

« Let me tell you something, Virgil. » Emile pulled them away from the crowd of dancers. « Usually, a black hole happens when there's a series of star collisions. A single star collision tends to merge the two stars into a supernova explosion. And yes, it is said that only one of the two will survive ultimately, but actually what survives is a mixture of the two. We call this a luminous red nova. This will only happen if your binary system ever experiences orbital decay. » Emil put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. « If you are careful about how you move and only meet during the sunrise and sunset dances, you're absolutely safe. Believe me. Okay? »

Virgil blinked a few times before stopping to bit his cheek and finally let a genuine smile creep on his face. « I do. I believe you. » he took a deep shaky breath, finally devoid of all the concerns in his mind. « Thank you. »

« Don't mention it, little one. Now, make me proud and go t- »

The Sun got interrupted by a loud crashing sound, like the sky had just broken up and started falling from the ceiling.

The two immediately looked behind themselves to find the most terrifying picture: every single star but one had been blown away, fallen to their feet as the only standing one started having a red aura around them. The luminous shade seemed to only grow wider and … warmer.

« Oh, Jupiter. This is not good. » Emile said as Virgil noticed Roman a few feet away from the standing star, staring wide eyed at them.

« What? What's going on? »

« It's Zeta Ophiuchi. » Emile slowly turned to Virgil, terror in his eyes. « It's turning into a Runaway star. »

✾✾✾✾

« So, what astronomers hypothesized up until now is that Zeta Ophiuchi had been previously part of a binary system itself, but its partner had exploded into a supernova, hurling Zeta at a very high speed through space. This is why they're called runaway stars. » Logan explained to Remus as he had been confused by the dramatic cliffhanger; he then turned to Janus. « That is fairly a very interesting way of portraying the beginning of a runaway star. I wonder what Roman had said to cause her to have that reaction. »

« Oh! I know! He rejected her. »

« Damn, » Janus furrowed his eyes at Remus. « You really don't like leaving some suspense here and there. »

« This is repay for when you told me you didn't know whether Roman was going to be okay. And he sure as hell doesn't sound okay now. »

Janus tucked his nephew into bed. « How about you sleep, you stinky little rat king? »

Remus whined. « You know that's my favorite nickname! I can't help but comply. » he suddenly lifted his hands. « Take me, arms of Orpheus. »

« It's Morpheus. » Logan pointed out.

« You're all boring. » he turned to the other side and, after half an hour, he gave out to his tiredness.

Ever since then, Logan started visiting whenever he could between shifts and free work days, sometimes he would stay for dinner, other times they would all watch movies together. Mostly Logan realized how he much had caught them in his heart and wanted to help around as much as it was possible for him.

Especially since that one other rather emotional night – again, in vino veritas – in which Janus had told him how hard it was to do everything on his own.

He obviously hadn't meant to ask Logan to do everything for him, but it was also a pretty important call for assistance and the astronomer was more than happy to fulfill the position.

« I apologize, » Janus had called from the hallway one evening. « Remus is having some trouble tonight, I'll be back in a minute, you can start watching anything if you'd like. »

It had been fairly twenty minutes since Janus had disappeared behind Remus's door: Logan couldn't help but be concerned, thus he got up, intending on asking whether some help was needed.

His purpose hadn't been to eavesdrop initially, really.

« Virgil had told Anguis that her stories were delightful, » Janus had told Remus as he stroked his hair. Remus's eyes were red and puffy. « He told her she should've pursued her dream and come to Earth to tell humans our adventures around space. He was the one to finally convince her, you know? She shined brighter than I had ever seen her. I was so happy she had made that choice. »

« I still am. I'm very glad we came to Earth. Even after everything that has happened, I couldn't imagine living million of years running through space without you. Without Logan. I'm happy to have fallen down here rather than be up there. »

« I still miss some stars, I miss Roman and Virgil very dearly … I had barely a chance to meet the others, but … I don't regret leaving them behind for this. »

Remus only stared at him, but seemed to nod and ultimately hug Janus tightly.

Logan couldn't make out what they murmured to each other, especially as he got lost in his thoughts.

So there were others?

« Oh- » he didn't notice Janus coming out of the room right after. « Oh f- Uh, how much did you hear? »

« Enough, I think. » Logan was still zoned out, which made him seem like he was completely uncaring.

« Well, uhm, you know how … stories you tell kids am I right? You pretend- »

« I'm an astronomer, Janus, » Logan begun, focusing on the other's eyes. « I know a lot about stars. I've seen you and Remus's faces literally light up. I also know stars can be people, you don't have to lie to me. » his tone was soothing, he still couldn't believe he had met another one. « I met one of you before, his name is Thomas. Thomas Sanders, to be specific. »

Janus's eyes widened. « The- The actor? »

« Exactly. I helped him out when he fell – right behind my house, to his luck – and as of now, we grew apart since he has been profoundly busy. We are still in contact, though. We actually meet up from time to time. »

« That … » Janus's expression was priceless, a mixture of disbelief and amazement. « I have no idea how to describe how I'm feeling right now.

Logan loved it so much.

« Thomas is writing a movie script as of now. He's given one of the characters my name. »

« You. » Janus pulled Logan away from the hallway. « Are, as of now, the coolest human being of my knowledge. »

They sat down on the couch, letting the TV show be their background noise.

« Why, I'm rather flattered. »

« Okay. » Janus took the glass of wine he had left on the table earlier, before taking a small sip out of it. « I'm ready. »

« For? »

« My actual life story. »

Logan tilted his head and laid back, ready to let the other talk. It had already been a stressful night, why not stay on theme?

« My sister and I were formerly two shooting stars. We used to travel through space and meet a wide range of stars, galaxies and planets. It was wonderful. Then we fell on Earth by choice. We quickly adapted to its customs somehow. Anguis and I met Clyde, they fell in love and I put my feelings aside in their favor, since … I heard my love isn't exactly condoned here. » he took another sip.

« When I told you she fell ill, it was actually her star self shutting down. She ultimately became stardust under our very own eyes. Clyde feared Remus and I would end up the same way, since even my nephew's part star. And then we were left alone. » he opened his arms. « I hope this tale entertained you as well. »

Logan didn't say anything before surging forward and taking Janus in a tight embrace. He wasn't intending on letting go anytime soon, especially when he felt his friend's sobs on his shoulder.

« What if it really happens? W-what if I lose Remus in the span of a week? I couldn't bear it. »

« What if you don't? What if he spends a wonderful fulfilling life thanks to the possibilities you're offering him? What if you get to see him grow old and spend all your last moments knowledgeable that he is happy thanks to you? Because never in your life the thought of abandoning him ever crossed your mind. »

Logan tightened his hug. « You are a spectacular guardian, Janus. Take it from someone who knows how it feels to be neglected. You have nothing to fear, and it's normal to feel doubtful every now and then. » he loosened it after, so he could look him in the eyes. « Whatever happens, you can face it like you have always done. Okay? »

Janus nodded and muttered a low okay, right after he almost didn't register Logan giving him a forehead kiss.

« I hope you will feel more free to tell me anything that bothers you, now that I know. »

« You're the only one I can turn to. » Janus smiled sadly, averting his eyes.

« Well then, » he took his hands and guided him on his feet. « I am honored to be at your service. Come, now. »

Logan took him to his bedroom so he could rest sooner, but as he helped him lay down, he felt something tug at his shirt. He turned and saw Janus's fingers laced on the fabric.

« Could you stay? » he drowsily asked, his voice barely audible like he was afraid to talk any louder, or at all.

Logan smiled softly and nodded; he proceeded to close the front door and turn off the lights for him. Afterwards, he laid next to the other and stroked his hair until he fell asleep.

He was confused.

Had he always felt attracted by him because of the star's pull, or were his feelings lying to him? Why did he care so much? Why did he want to do anything in his power to ease their lives?

Why hadn't he stopped to caress Janus's face and look at him as soon as he'd fallen asleep? Why would he rather have him in his arms like before?

He wanted to hold his hand longer, let him know he was there in case he had a nightmare.

Still, Janus had simply asked him to stay.

That he was going to do.

After that night, Logan had chosen to give Janus some more space. A few days had passed when he received a very welcome message from one of his acquaintances.

He was quick to text Janus about it as well: Thomas had just asked him if they could meet up that week, which would've been the perfect time for them to meet as well.

They could have also shared their experiences and get other stuff off of their chests, stuff only both of them would understand. Plus he was sure it would've been nice to have someone like you to talk to for instance.

Not even a minute after, Janus wrote back to him, talking about how excited he would've been to meet up with them as well.

It all led to one particular afternoon at a café, Logan had just introduced Janus and Remus to Thomas, who they found out used to be a very small galaxy on the brink of crashing and becoming a black hole. He lost all of his stars, but at least he saved himself.

He confessed he had a freckled pattern of them on his back.

It didn't surprise him how they clicked immediately.

Thomas talked about his project, this movie where he would talk to different aspects of his personality and work through issues about himself and grow as a person.

« The funniest bit about this is that I'm not human, thus I experienced the most childish dilemmas at an old age. » as Thomas chuckled, Janus was sure he had seen the galaxy's stars in his eyes twinkle as well.

« But enough about me, Logan told me you tell wonderful stories! » Thomas's eyes lit up immediately. « I also asked him a bit about you in general, and honestly dude. You give me major Disney villain vibes. »

Janus put a hand on his chest. « Why, thank you. »

Thomas chuckled. « I was thinking, would you like to contribute to a character I have in mind? He's pretty complex and I have a feeling your thinking would suit him amazingly. »

« Oh. » Janus's mouth hung open. « I … I don't know what to say- »

« Yes! Say yes, I want my character too! Can I have one? » Remus jumped out from his seat and leaned over Thomas as the other man giggled. « I want something gross! »

« I like your unusual thinking, kiddo. » Thomas rested his chin on his hand. « I do have an idea for a character correlated to intrusive thoughts … What's your favorite color, Remus? »

« Green! »

The former galaxy pulled out a notebook from his bag, taking down everything he had just learnt. « I can work with that. »

« Hey uncle, you think we could add Roman and Virgil too? Maybe even Patton? »

Janus cleared his throat, ready to say something similar to the fact that they shouldn't impose anything on Thomas, but was promptly cut off by the man himself as Logan told Remus he had had a wonderful idea.

« Oh? » a sly smile appeared on his lips. « Do tell me more about them? »

Janus scratched his neck and let his hand rest on his shoulder. « Uhm, it's kind of a long story, but it's about these two stars my sister and I met before falling on Earth. »

The former galaxy couldn't have seemed more intrigued: Remus came to the rescue, providing an insightful summary of the previous events, with Logan's assistance, justifying some space facts Thomas had forgotten during his life on Earth.

« You absolutely have to tell me more, dude. »

« As you wish, » Janus assumed his usual storytelling position on the café's seat, looking then both at his nephew and Logan. « Are you guys ready for the great finale? »

✾✾✾✾

In an instant, Virgil had found himself on the ground; Emile had thrown him down so the second blow of Zeta wouldn't have hit him as much, but the Sun kept running, aiming to protect the Moon with everything he had in his potential.

Virgil's every limb was trembling as he pulled himself up by the elbows, sliding forward until he reached something to sustain himself up: he looked around and saw the stupidest star in the galaxy doing the stupidest thing in the universe.

Roman was already standing, trying to coax whatever had caused Zeta to explode, without success.

« You! » she roared, as Emile and Remy started gathering stars around to let them out as fast as they could. « You are an hypocrite! After everything I've done for you! » there was another blow, to which Virgil reacted by doubling over again.

Roman stood still, which was permitted by his star's strength. « I'm sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings Zeta! I can't fake them either! »

« Shut up! »

As another blow hit the room, Virgil tried to slither on the floor the closest he could to the couple: it was then that he understood Roman was numbing down Zeta's crashing energy by taking all the blows on himself.

That idiot.

Roman made a false move by averting his gaze to Virgil on his right, rather than focusing on the soon-to-be runaway star. Zeta followed it, feeling the burning of her insides even stronger than before.

In that single second of haziness, chaos was unleashed.

They all had less than a second to react: Roman ducked to his right, using himself as a shield to protect Virgil, still disoriented by the previous blow.

A single hit from her curve and Virgil would've been detached from their binary system and become a runaway star as well.

Emile rapidly pushed Remy out of the palace along with the other stars, fearing for their well-being as he already knew the consequences Zeta was going to cause.

When he turned back, hearing the Moon's “wait!” before closing the entrance, she had already been violently circulating in the room, everything she hit crumbled to pieces, her final goal being the two stars that had caused her infinite dolence.

She had spiraled out of control.

« Roman! » Emile tried to avoid the falling bricks of marble in every direction, shielding his eyes from the dust. « We cannot withstand her power any longer, we have to leave! »

Virgil looked rapidly between the two, shortly glanced at where Zeta was heading and ran in her opposite direction, taking Roman's hand in his as the Sun went along them.

The entrance had already been blocked, thus there was a single emergency exit remaining: the balcony.

The three ran down the hallways, scrambling to their feet here and there everytime Zeta crashed into the walls and the ceiling, the lights already out.

Everything went wrong when Roman let go of Virgil's hand and locked him and Emile out of the hallway, free to run to their salvation.

They immediately turned to him.

« What the fuck do you think you're doing? » Virgil punched the glass door, while Roman's expression displayed determination and slight regret.

« I'm the strongest star between all of us. I can keep her at bay as you guys get to a safe location- Please, just let me do this. »

« Are you out of your mind?! And leave you in this crumbling place where you'd never get out alive? » Virgil powered up, his eyes and fists becoming pure light and fire. He punched the glassed entrance further, breaking it instantly this time.

Roman's eyes widened and he watched Virgil tug him down by the shirt.

« Don't you get it? It's you, you fool. It's always been you. » Virgil's voice sounded between desperate and on the verge of crying, in need to let out all of the words he'd never been able to before. « I had a hard time admitting it to myself because I was scared but it's always been you I loved. »

Roman couldn't quite believe the words he was hearing, thinking he had to be hallucinating after all the hits taken by Zeta. Tears welled up in his eyes before he could register them, he then raised a hand to cup Virgil's cheek.

« And now I don't care anymore. I don't care, either we die because of a black hole or for a runaway star, it doesn't matter! » he breathed in, hiccuping in the middle of it, before looking back up at Roman. « I will be with you, because I love you. I love you and I'm not scared. »

Roman felt hysterical, letting out a muffled laugh between his sobs. « I love you too. » he took Virgil's face in both his hands and pressed their lips together almost desperately. And there he knew there hadn't been a collision he would've wanted more than that one.

As they parted, Virgil turned to Emile, who had been trying to reduce the blows for as long as they could have some more minutes.

« Go. You're way too important. »

Roman nodded. « We will handle it. »

The Sun spared them one last look, one of those that meant everything from gratitude to the deepest admiration.

When he was gone, Virgil took Roman's hand yet again, maybe for the last time, he thought, and they ventured back in the halls together.

They tightened their grips the more the crashes became unsustainable.

Looking at the ceiling and up ahead, the two understood there was no way for them to progress any further. Roman placed them in front of a window, then he called Zeta to them.

As she inverted her course to reach them, the two embraced each other.

« Scared? » Roman murmured, looking in his eyes.

« Not one bit. » Virgil's soft and imperceptible smile was exactly what Roman would've wished to see last of him.

A blinding light surrounded them, both powering themselves up to take in Zeta's hit and protect each other as best as they could.

Then, the final blow came.

And everything turned dark as a black hole.

It didn't take much for the Sun and the Moon to reconstruct a palace for the sunset dance of the same day, apart from a small eclipse to be formed as the two worked together.

For the first time in forever, they took much longer to show up.

Remy and Emile kept each other's balance as they checked their previous half destroyed palace; the remains kept perfectly gravitating in the same place as before, as though the signs left by Zeta hadn't mattered or damaged them at all.

There was hope, they couldn't deny it, the kind of hope that set yourself up for disappointment.

It was on their third time of jumping around bits of pavement that they decided to give up, sure that there wasn't anything they had left behind.

On the Sun's hallway, where everything was unusually almost untouched, compared to the rest of the building, Remy held Emile's hands as he helped him down a pile of debris.

Something glowed from under their feet, reflecting its light on Remy's sunglasses for a brief moment: they immediately looked down and crouched as their partner curiously asked what he had noticed.

Remy inspected the marble rocks, until he felt some that had definitely a warmer temperature.

Either that was where Zeta had last gone, or …

« Help me take these away. » the Moon's resolute voice made Emile immediately comply.

There it was.

There they were.

Surrounded by a faint purple light, Virgil and Roman laid on the floor in each other's arms, unconscious.

Remy and Emile exchanged looks before lifting a star each and walking away from the desolate place.

Virgil's eyes opened as Emile and Remy parted in each other's new wings, his foggy vision permitted him to make out barely Roman's blacked out face in the distance.

« Ro- » Remy noticed him shifting in their arms. « Did I? No- » he whined, but the Moon shushed him kindly and, just like that he nodded off to sleep again.

Roman didn't comprehend why he had woken up in the Sun's room.

He pulled himself up from the bed, noticing how the room's seemed to have been re-decorated.

Like they had completely changed places.

It hit him in that exact moment, when he saw his ballroom clothes completely different, the pounding headache barely healed.

He made it?

Did that mean …?

Before he knew it, he was running in the hallway.

And someone was running towards him, hugging him on sight.

« For all the galaxies, Roman! » Patton squeezed him tight like he hadn't seen him in a billion eons. « That was not the right time to play the hero! » Patton pulled away that much to look him in the eyes. « I am so glad you're alive. » he then said, his voice as broken as the window he last remembered.

Canopus was right along him, but, differently from him or the Sun and Moon's warm expressions, she looked melancholy.

Roman had always suspected she had feelings for Zeta.

He approached her and took her hand in his. « I'm sorry. It's m- »

« She did it to herself. » she admitted, before looking up. « It would've been worse if you lied to her only to please her. » she displayed a sad smile. « I would've hated you only on that occasion. It's okay, Roman. I'm going to be alright. »

Roman realized he had underestimated Canopus's strength, but he was grateful he did.

And now, the big moment.

« Where …? »

« Where you already know. »

Emile and Remy parted to let a path behind them, which was leading to two massive golden doors.

Roman paced towards them, wasting no time in fiddling with the handles as he pushed them open.

If he ever had to imagine what happened to stars when they died, he wished it was exactly like that.

That palace's terrace was much bigger than the one they last saw Emile on; Virgil was waiting, looking at the sunset take place in front of him in the distance, unaware of his system partner.

He only turned around as he heard Roman sigh in relief at his sight.

As much as he wanted to run to him instantly, he kept one hand on the parapet and simply looked fondly at him as Roman stepped towards him.

Roman took his free hand and leaned on the rails as well, taking one quick glance at the beauty of nature.

He made slow movements, trying to realize whether or not Virgil was real, before circling him with his arms around Virgil's waist.

« Still not scared? » he whispered it like a secret between them.

Virgil's cheeks had already lit up as soon as he exited the ballroom. « I won't ever be anymore. » he confessed, resting his forehead against Roman's.

And it was true.

At last, he wasn't scared to touch him anymore.

At last, there were no more secrets to be uncovered.

At last, they could dance together.

✾✾✾✾

Silence followed Janus's last words: he waited for reactions, but all he saw were the three's gazes fixed on the table, Thomas's mouth ajar, like he had just made the deepest revelation.

« I- » Thomas looked back at the storyteller. « I loved everything you said. I loved every single word you pronounced, holy stars! » he tried to compose himself. « This is incredible. Just- Listen, this is going to sound very sudden, but- Would you ever consider being a script-writer with me? We could work on this movie together, your way of talking- I'm sure it would be just as wonderful if you wrote all of that down. Your words are magnificent! »

Janus had met him to be able to talk to someone like him, and there he was, being offered one of the most astounding jobs in his life.

He was stunned.

Remus hit his hands on the table. « Absolutely! » he answered in his uncle's stead. « Please, join my uncle! »

« I- » Janus's face broke into a wide smile. « It can be arranged, yes. » he laughed slightly. « I would love to! » he almost didn't notice Logan's hand in his.

He didn't definitely notice the astronomer's affectionate gaze, feeling not only butterflies but an entire species of animals running in his stomach at the sight of Janus's excitement.

Oh, how he loved the way his face lit up, how his eyes glimmered bright even on a sunny day.

« Wonderful cause I have plenty of new ideas! I might even consider Remy and Emile somewhere … »

The conversation went on, but Logan wasn't able to hear anything else other than how melodious Janus's voice sounded all of a sudden.

Janus couldn't stop talking about it even after they arrived back at the apartment, barely able to exit his car while Remus had already gone up the stairs and opened the door to let himself in.

« I just- For the Moon, Logan! A scriptwriter! Beside a famous actor who used to reside in space! » he had taken Logan's hand in his own. « I'm simply blown away! »

They stopped at the beginning of the stairs.

« Gosh, this is all thanks to you. » Janus looked up at him, sparkles all around him as he smiled fondly.

Logan's heart couldn't have possibly been happier, finding the sight extremely endearing.

When had they started hugging? He was so lost in his gaze …

« Your eyes are always so bright and glowy and beautiful. »

Janus blinked twice, his expression shifting slightly.

« It's like I could recognize every single constellation in them. »

He raised his hands to rest them on Logan's cheeks and brush them with his thumbs. « I love you. »

Janus leaned in and kissed him. « I love you so much. » he whispered before the other kissed him back, slowly.

They exchanged more, resonating they could never have enough, until they heard someone call from above.

« Is Logan going to be my new uncle?! »

They parted and looked up, seeing an excited Remus run around in excitement.

« Holy sh- »

« I knew it. »

✾✾✾✾

It was the day of the premiere of Thomas and Janus's movie.

The two were sitting next to Logan and Remus on the front seats, delightfully waiting for it to finally air for everybody else in the world.

Remus watched Thomas unable to stay silent one minute, his uncles holding hands, as their engagement rings glimmered in the semi-dark room.

He thought back of what life was before Logan came around, before Janus had started telling him stories of the people he and his mother had encountered.

Never would he have thought he would have been sitting in front of a soon-to-be bestseller movie's first airing, nearly two years after, with a new relative he deeply loved and new friends like him.

He hadn't known nothing of the sky.

But now he did.

Remus took Logan's hand and both he and Janus looked down at him, a genuine and caring smile on their faces as Thomas's voice echoed with the opening of the movie.

« What is up everybody?! »

He finally knew everything he needed to know.

#ts storytime 2020 submission #prinxiety #loceit #remile #patton sanders #sanders sides #purp's writings #ts fanfic #character thomas

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gingerwritess · 5 years

Note

I was thinking of Loki being the little shit he is and stealing readers food just to see her get worked up and at one point maybe saying she looks cute when she’s angry just to piss her off?? I love you!!!!!

FINALLY WROTE THIS SHEESH

this was tough stuff right here but i like it and i hope you do too! big thanks to @avenging-blackwidow for beta-ing m w a h

part 13 of loki’s happy ending, and as always, masterlist in my bio!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You’re turning out to be quite a pest of a human.

First with all the attempts to kill him when really, he’d made it perfectly clear when he’d have liked that, and now pestering him about the whole Chitauri ordeal…Loki would be lying if he hadn’t considered a muzzle.

You’re an extreme liability, and he knows. You’ve seen too much and definitely seen too much of him - not that getting a few ogles in the midst of dying was particularly detrimental to the whole operation.

Actually, it might’ve been…nice. But you didn’t hear that from him.

Breaking up the accidental relationship was a smart move. The best move, by far. The only remaining problem happens to be you, though.

You still…remain.

You still walk around the tower with your arms full of papers, heels clicking annoyingly along the vinyl floors, turning up your nose whenever you stride past his office.

He has a nicer office than you. By far.

Loki gets a window.

Most of the time, when you happen to have to walk down his hall, he leans against the open window and gazes out at the city as you walk by—a smug little grin on his flawless, fake jawline, knowing that the breeze ruffling his strawberry blond hair serves so kindly to piss you the hell off.

The one time you’d realised he’s doing it on purpose, you’d stepped into his office, smiled sweetly over to him at the window, and dumped your coffee on his precious floor.

And then you ran, cause he flipped back to Loki in a split second and lunged at you, snarling like a rabid animal as you shrieked and sprinted down the hall.

So…things aren’t exactly good between the two of you.

Which, of course, is why you’ve been avoiding him for the past couple weeks, sighing dramatically and saying “I’m just not ready to talk about it” when people ask why the two of you broke up.

You’ve been trying to avoid break rooms altogether. They’re just a hive for questioning, and you never know if you might run into him some accidental Thursday when you don’t have witty comebacks pre-prepared.

In other news, your bagels keep disappearing.

This is day four. The bagel is in your hand when you walk through the door, you set it on your desk, turn to set your bags down, and it’s gone.

Something tells you by day four that you’re not hallucinating carrying bagels into work with you just because you’re tired, so today you’re trying a set up.

You’ve got a hunch.

Sure enough, on day five, you don’t turn around to put your bag on the chair, and you watch your bagel seemingly melt into the desk.

“Get your ass out here, Loki.”

There’s a stack of green sticky-notes next to your computer, and a word being scrawled onto the paper catches your eye.

No.

You rip off the paper, crumple it into a ball, and throw it in the trash.

“Stop taking my food,” you hiss in the empty room.

Again, the loopy handwriting appears on the next sticky-note.

You assume so much.

“Oh, sorry,” you snap, glancing at the door to make sure no one sees you about to scream at a sticky-note, “I don’t know any other magicians. Give me back my bagel.”

I’m enjoying it.

“You fucking dick - oh, hey, Nadine.”

You give a sheepish grin and wave at your coworker, setting down your scissors with a nervous laugh as she walks by.

The moment she’s out of sight, though, you take the scissors right through the stack of notes—and Loki, ever the saint, sends a spurt of black ink from the paper like some kind of inky blood, a muffled scream coming from the little stack of green sticky-notes.

“What the—”

“You wound me, darling.”

One leg thrown haphazardly over the arm of his chair, Loki grins and waves his fingers at you across the desk.

Ink drips down your arms.

Loki takes a slow bite of your bagel.

“Mmm…”

“Oh, fuck you,” you scowl, grabbing an eraser off your desk and chucking it at his face. “You owe me five days worth of breakfast, asshole.”

“Mm, no, I don’t think I do,” he hums, taking another bite. Then he decides to let out a very unsuitable for work groan, throwing his head back as he swallows.

You quickly blink and look away.

“At least you’re enjoying it,” you grumble and flop down in your chair. Fishing some napkins out from a desk drawer, you try to sop up the ink staining your arms, Loki’s gaze burning into your skin as you scrub furiously at the stains.

“That’s a lovely colour on you.”

“Shut it.”

The ink stains, but you at least get the liquid wiped away, fuming at the splotches that ruined your shirt, too—Loki and your clothes don’t seem to get along; first the coffee, now this?

He’s licking his fingers when you toss the napkins in the trash and glare back up at him.

His middle finger leaves his mouth with a pop.

“You’re quite…enchanting when you’re angry.”

“Fuck off,” you groan, and he just laughs, licking slowly along his thumb.

“One might even say…” he pauses, thumb on his lip, gaze floating to the ceiling in thought. “Cute.”

You stand up and walk to the door, holding it open without another word to the god smirking at you from your desk. “Get out.”

“Or what?”

“Or I taser you into oblivion again,” you frown, pointing out the door. “I enjoyed it the first time. I think I might get off on it the second time.”

Loki almost laughs—you catch the twitch of his mouth before he fizzles back into Dr. Laing—probably a good idea, considering you’re holding the door wide open.

“Banter,” he sighs, leaning back in the chair and draping a dramatic arm over his eyes. “Look at us, all this tension. Why did we break up again?”

“Because you were using me? You…keep threatening me and treating me like shit for trying to help you, that’s why—”

“Is that what you’re telling yourself?” He chuckles, and your forehead hits the door with a groan.

“That’s the truth, Loki. Please, get out.”

His arm lifts, just enough for him to peek out from under his elbow at you. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh, goody.”

“You pose a terrible threat to me,” he continues, ignoring your implying waves out the door. “And in the best interest of myself, I should avoid you at all costs.”

“Which is why you’re in my office.” You gesture at his lazed form, spreading across your chair. “Right.”

“Precisely.” He gives you a curt nod. “But…well, you have a phrase that puts it quite nicely—keep your friends close and your enemies closer?”

He lifts a hand towards you, lips curling.

“I can’t let you out of my sight.”

Perfect. Just what you needed, more clinging from the deranged—well, whatever the hell he is, cause at this point, you’re just confused—godly criminal.

“Look,” you sigh, leaning against the door, “I haven’t told anyone anything. I’ve lied for you, I pretended to date you, I haven’t brought up anything about your scars—”

“Oh, but you just did.”

“I—no, hold on—”

“See what I mean, darling? You can’t be trusted. That little mouth of yours tends to run whether you like it or not, and either I silence you once and for all, or you learn to control this little pity problem you seem to have.”

“Don’t,” you growl, grip tightening on the doorknob. “Don’t call me that.”

“Mm. How would you feel about having your memories altered?”

Loki stands up, wiping long fingers off on his thighs.

The air seems to drop twenty degrees and you gulp, stepping backwards into the hallway—better to at least be out of the office when you’re brainwashed by a god. Maybe, just maybe, Iron Man will happen down this hallway before your brain is fried.

Something tells you not to hold onto that hope too tightly.

“Just a quick little tweak of the mind,” Loki continues, slowly making his way towards you, hands clasped behind him. “In the interest of solely protecting myself. It’s not personal, I hold nothing against you.”

“That sounds pretty personal.”

“Oh, darling, I wouldn’t waste my precious feelings on the likes of you. You were simply in the wrong place…at the wrong time. You weren’t supposed to see anything in the first place.”

“Is this really about those cuts on your back? I haven’t - oop, h-hey.” Your back hits the far wall of the hallway.

“How cliché,” Loki hums, a small grin on his lips. “The tall, dark villain has you up against the wall.”

“I haven’t told anyone,” you remind him, hands coming up between the two of you—just in case. “You’re just scared of the possibility, right? Can’t we, um, make a deal or something instead?”

“Deals with the devil never end well.”

“I thought you were a god.”

Whoops.

Loki goes stiff, leering down at you as that patronising little smile turns cold, frozen.

His fingers press against your forehead in a matter of milliseconds.

“I don’t know what I am,” he whispers sharply, a hand slipping up to cover your mouth when you start writhing, muffled shouts for help falling short behind his hand. “And don’t pretend like you do.”

“Mmf—no, ‘oki, stop—”

“You know I can see in your mind. Do I make you feel better about yourself? Is that it?”

Your heart plummets when his eyes go red, flashing deep crimson for a split second before the hand covering your mouth starts glowing, the same golden hue that surrounded his body that fateful day he showered at your place.

Head furiously shaking no, you try to think an apology to him - not that you know what to even apologise for.

Helping him? Seeing that at some point in his recent past, someone lashed him to pieces?

Your mind does feel funny, almost…fuzzy. It’s a warm kind of fuzzy and you want to give into it, but his hand over your mouth and blue-green eyes boring into yours—

“Stop apologising,” he hisses, eyes narrowing as he presses his fingers harder to your forehead.

You fight it a moment longer.

I’m sorry, your thoughts plead, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry no one’s listening, I’m sorry you don’t know—

“I don’t want your pity.”

Your eyes widen above his hand. He heard you, that actually worked.

I’m sorry you’re hurting, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I saw, I’m sorry I tried to help—

“Stop that.” Teeth bared, his hand tightens around your mouth. “You have to stop that.”

You can trust me, I swear on my life, I won’t tell anyone anything about you, you have to trust me—

Then just like that, he pulls his hands away.

You gasp for breath and stumble away from him as quickly as you can, not noticing how he clutches his hand to his chest, eyes glistening.

“Just trust me,” you cough. “Just trust me, you don’t have to kill me o-or wipe my memory—”

“No,” he snaps, raking a still-slightly gold hand through his hair. “No, no, I don’t—I can’t do that.”

“I promise, Loki, seriously, you don’t have to—”

Footsteps down the hallway make your words fall dead in your throat. Loki immediately switches to Laing, grabbing you by the arm and hoisting you to your feet, a finger to his lips and a silent threat in his eye.

It’s Tony, sprinting, flanked by a small group of armed guards, and they come to a stop right in front of the two of you.

“What’s going on??”

“Loki,” Tony pants, bending to rest his hands on his knees for a moment, trying to catch his breath. “Decoy, clone, it’s a double in the cell, he’s—he’s out—”

Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach.

“Are you sure?”

Laing’s fingers curl around your wrist and squeeze hard.

“Yes, for sure, he just flickered for a good two seconds, it was a dead give-away to Thor. Now c’mon, we’re moving you to a safer location—”

“What??”

Laing still won’t let go, jaw clenched so hard it looks painful.

“We know you’re one of his targets,” Tony says with an exasperated sigh, waving you after him. “Move, we’ve gotta move, the son-of-a-bitch is a god, we don’t know how much time we have!”

One of his targets.

The feeling of his palm over your mouth is still as present as it was not even two minutes ago.

His red eyes, those fingers rifling through your mind.

You wrench your hand from Laing’s grip and run after Tony Stark without a thought of looking back.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

feel free to send me ideas!!

if you enjoyed…what if i linked my venmo…haha no i jest…no obligations….just in case….u don’t have to ha ha…….unless… ??

~ masterlist link in my bio ~

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted @kerri-masson @iamverity @innaminitus @spnbarnes @narcissxblack @woohoney @anxiousamandapanda @padmeisgay @authordreaming13 @lokisironthrone @theunknowinglys @highfuncti0ningfangirl @epicfallenismine @stubby-toe-589331 @fandomnerdsarecool @retrofantasyland @arch-venus25 @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @littleredstarfish @marshyrebelcloud @okie–loki @atterodominatus @stfxlou @pandacookieowo @tonakings @shinisenko @tinchentitri @nildespirandum @thefallenbibliophilequote @vodka-and-some-sass @highfunctioningfangirl19 @sadwaywardkid @lokioneshot

#loki x reader #loki imagine #loki enemies to lovers #loki fake dating #loki slowburn #loki reader insert #pre-dating idiots

758 notes · View notes

thewritewolf · 5 years

Text

Adrien, Agreste No Longer: Chapter 1 - Bad Dad

Adrien has a terrible home life, but what can he do? This is his messed up family, after all.

...Or is it?

...I can explain.

I fully admit this is a crack fic - *I'm* definitely not taking it super seriously, so I don't expect you to either. It all stemmed from a joke I made with my beta reader while we watched Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse one day. We had a moment where we turned to each other and just sort of went, "...huh." Then the outline for this fic began to take shape.

Anyway, it's a weird fic to be sure, but I hope you'll enjoy it!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

It was a quiet and depressing dinner, but Adrien was in a good mood anyway. Not just because this week he'd be going to a charity event with his friends, although that was a big factor in it. After all those hoops he'd jumped through, he had finally cleared off enough space in his schedule to manage it. All that hard work and his father – through Nathalie – had allowed it.

Which brought him to the other reason he was so happy today – unlike almost every day, Adrien wasn't eating alone! Granted, they were eating on opposite ends of a very long table and the only noises besides Adrien chattering about school and work was the clinking of silverware against plates. But even just that was an improvement over every other day.

Adrien sighed contently as he finished his last story. “...Pierre was very happy with the photos. He was saying they might even be the best yet! But with a motivation like that thing with my friends, what else-”

“'Thing'?” Gabriel said, his head snapping up as he spoke for the first time since they sat down to eat. “What 'thing'?”

“The... the thing that I'm going to on Saturday.” A sinking feeling, like an empty void, opened up in his stomach as he looked at his father's blank expression, clearly not recognizing what he was talking about. This had been on the schedule for at least a month! Heck, Nathalie had even gotten father to sign the schedule for him! “With my friends? It's the Roberts charity drive.”

Gabriel's eyes widened at the name and he coughed into his napkin. “Out of the question. You will be attending the fashion gala with me, not cavorting around with those delinquent friends of yours.”

The words felt like a punch to the gut and for a moment Adrien couldn't decide what part of that sentence to refute first.

“Father! I don't do anything during those functions. Definitely not anything that would need both of us. And I worked so hard for this! Why won't-”

“That is enough!” Adrien was startled when his father slammed his open hands on the table and stood up. Fear rose up in him when he saw the glare being leveled at him. “I am your father and you will do as I say. No tricks, no deals. Am I understood?”

Adrien bobbed his head quickly.

“Good.” Gabriel stood up straight and folded his hands behind his back. “Now go to your room. You've had enough excitement for the day and I know that you can find some constructive use of your time.”

At that moment, Adrien would have taken any excuse to not be in the room with his father any more. Despite the growled protests of his stomach, Adrien left his plate of food behind and made a beeline for his room. He blinked down tears as he realized he'd have to call just to disappoint his friends.

Again.

But at least he was getting used to it by now...

---------

“Seriously, dude?” Nino's voice echoed through the emptiness of Adrien's room, the only distortion despite him only being present through facetime on his phone. “That is is seriously not cool of your daddio. We've been planning this shindig for weeks now!”

Adrien dropped himself into his chair, slouching in a way he knew his father would yell at him for if he could see him. “I tried to tell him that, bro, but you know how he is. Once he's made a decision...”

“He doesn't go back on it, yeah, I get it. Doesn't make him any less of a tool though.” Nino stared off screen and glared. “What is even his deal? I thought your old man signed your Agreste-brand permission slip, dude?”

“Maybe he just signed whatever Nathalie had put in front of him without reading it,” Adrien replied. As much as he hated to admit it, that was almost definitely what had happened. Maybe the whole deal had been entirely Nathalie's idea.

“Well, I guess it's not all bad.” Adrien looked back at Nino, who was wearing a vicious smile. “It ain't gonna look cool on your pops when word gets out you're gonna be a no-show. Lotsa folks were looking forward to you showing up for that charity.”

Adrien smirked, only to immediately feel bad about it. This was his own father – he shouldn't be feeling happy about the possibility he'd take some bad publicity over this. Right?

“But seriously, my main bro,” Nino continued. “Everyone loves the Roberts! I'd have thought even your daddio would make an exception for them.”

“I guess not,” Adrien sighed. His stomach growled again. “Listen, Nino, I'd love to keep talking but-”

“-But you've gotta do all that crazy homework so he won't come down even harder on you. Yeah, I get it.” He pinched his nose, then looked back at Adrien with sympathetic eyes. “You want me to tell Al and M?”

His heart sank even more. He'd almost forgotten this was just the first call he had to make tonight. “No... I'll do it. I'd rather they heard it from me. It's the least I can do.”

“You're a good dude, dude. Sometimes, I can't believe ol' Gabe is your father.” Nino scratched the back of his head. “Okay, most times I think that. Anyway, try to chillax. I know it sucks, but we'll get through, 'kay?” Adrien nodded. “See ya later.”

The screen went dark and Adrien stared at his own reflection in the polished surface. His stomach growled again and Adrien felt something land on his knee. Putting down his phone, he saw Plagg holding up a wedge of Camembert about as big as he was. He pushed it towards Adrien.

With a soft smile, Adrien took it. As he took his first bite, he said, “Thanks, Plagg.”

“Don't mention it, kid. But I shouldn't have to be the one feeding you.”

“I know, I'm sorry-”

“I don't want your apology,” Plagg snapped. His tiny face immediately twisted up in regret. “Sorry, it's just...”

“Don't worry, I get it. And really, I'm used to it by now.” Adrien pulled himself closer to his desk and started organizing his homework. It looked like a lot but he could probably get it done within an hour. Although he'd have to call Alya soon... And Marinette. For some reason, the thought of disappointing her weighed particularly heavy on his heart.

Plagg looked up at Adrien with an unreadable expression, his tail flicking back and forth irritably behind him. Then he floated up to the crown of Adrien's head and curled up. Adrien could almost swear he heard the kwami grumble, “You shouldn't have to be used to it.”

#Miraculous Ladybug #barbie: life in the dreamhouse #adrien agreste #Gabriel Agreste #Nino Lahiffe #Plagg #ml fanfiction #my writing #Adrien Agreste No Longer

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imaginationofacrazyfangirl · 5 years

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When the Sun Melts the Ice

Written for my bff @junghelioseok, I finally wrote your Hobi fic!

Pairing: Jung Hoseok X Reader

Genre: Angst, strangers to friends, unrequited love, college au, fake girlfriend! Reader, surprise ending?

Summary: You don’t think much of it when the Sunshine boy of Seoul University asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend to get his ex back. After all Soomin hates your guts.

Words: 4431

Warnings: Unedited

You don’t think much of it when one of the hottest boys on campus asks you to be his fake girlfriend. You don’t know much about Jung Hoseok aside from common knowledge and the college rumors floating around, but you do know Soo-min- his ex,very well. The dark haired beauty was your sworn enemy having tormented you since the early days of elementary school. So it only makes sense in Hoseok’s desperate need to make Soo-min jealous that he turns to the one person she despises.

“What’s in it for me?” You ask, unimpressed by his dimple smile. Many girls on campus would kill just to be called Jung Hoseok’s girlfriend, even if temporarily.

You’re not like other girls though. The idea of being anyone’s significant other pretend or not fills you with dread. Love, attraction, sex, you don’t react normally to those things-mainly because you saw no point behind them.

Hoseok’s smile falters. “I can hook you up with one of my fraternity brothers if they interest you more? But that would have to wait-”

“Does it look like I’m interested in your fraternity brothers?” You question, voice void of all emotions.

A shiver runs up Hoseok’s spine as he’s reminded why your college nickname is Ice Queen. Suddenly he wonders if you can even pull off pretending to be his girlfriend. You aren’t exactly known for your warm loving personality…

“Well, what is it that you want?” he sighs.

He doesn’t know what to expect. Money would be the obvious answer since none of his brothers interest you. Completing your college assignments for the rest of the year is also a likely possibility (though he assumes you’ll request Namjoon the genius of Beta-Tau-Sigma to do it, instead of him). However he is completely unprepared for the request that slips out of your mouth.

“I want to learn how to make friends.”

He blinks. “What?”

To say he expects you to be joking is an understatement, but the frown marring your face says otherwise. His eyes widen. “Shit, you’re serious.”

“Why not? You’re sociable. I mean you’re fucking Jung Hoseok, Sunshine boy of BTS. Everyone loves you.” You point out, finger prodding his chest aggressively. “If anyone can teach me how to make friends, it’s you.”

“Alright fine, I’ll teach you how to make friends. Just stop poking me.” Hoseok promises, hands raised in surrender. “But in turn you have to help make Soo-min jealous.”

You eyed him suspiciously. For a second Hoseok wonders if you’re going to back out. “Deal.” you finally reply. “So what now? We spit and shake hands or is this more of a blood pact thing?”

To both your surprises Hoseok actually chortles. “How about we write up a contract? Blood pacts sound kinda scary.”

Later that day Hoseok and you draw up a contract. He promises to teach you everything from small talk, first impressions and social norms in exchange for three months of servitude and prostitution fake dating. Luckily Hoseok outlines everything that comes with the territory of dating, which in all honesty minus the few chick-flicks you’ve seen you are completely clueless of. In the end really all you have to do is hang around Hoseok, talk to him, laugh at his jokes, and occasionally display some form of physical affection. So far nothing vaguely alarming to you.

“Do I have to wear your hoodie? I can get my own.” you ask, picking at the fabric.

On your third week of dating Hoseok throws one of his hoodies over your head, claiming it too cold for you to walk around in short sleeves. Admittedly the fabric is comfier than anything you own and the warmth of Hoseok’s body still permeates it despite a solid hour passing. Part of you wants to keep it, but the rising goosebumps on Hoseok’s skin makes you rethink. Why didn’t Hoseok just ask for it back if he’s cold?

“Your dorm is a good four blocks away. You’ll become an icicle before you ever get there.” Hoseok laughs.

You raise an eyebrow. “I think you’re the one becoming an icicle. You’re practically shivering Hoseok!”

“Aish…you’re making me sound so uncool, Jagiya.” He bemoans playfully.

You roll your eyes and pinch his arm. “Seriously Hoseok. Take the hoodie. I am perfectly fine in this weather. They call me Ice Queen after all.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “Ice Queen or not, what type of man would I be if I let a friend freeze to death?”

His words strike an unfamiliar feeling in you. It’s a strange feeling one that can only be described as a pleasantly warm ache. It thrills you as much as it scares you. Later you would pinpoint this moment as this beginning out it all, when your heart first started to melt. For now though you shove the feeling back with the reminder that this was all pretend.

The real trouble begins when Hoseok introduces you to his ‘brothers’ a week later.’ The members of Beta-Tau-Sigma are undoubtedly the hottest students on campus, but what really scares you is the mere idea of making small talk. “Are you sure this is a smart idea? I mean we’ve just gone over the basics of small talk last week.” you say clinging to Hoseok’s sleeve.

The cherry haired boy laughs unable to deny your cuteness. If someone told him, he’d grow attached to Seoul University’s very own Ice Queen, Hoseok wouldn’t believe them. Hell, when he first approached you one month ago, Hoseok was low-key scared of you. You were just so unsociable, glaring at everyone who came your way, giving people the cold shoulder, and never speaking more than necessary. He whole-heartedly believed Soo-min’s claims of you being sociopath.

“I want to learn how to make friends.”

Your words echo in his head. A smile makes its way to his face at the memory. No sociopath would want such a thing. You were just a lonely girl whose awkwardness and shyness came off as apathy. “You’ll be fine, (Y/N). The guys are nice, I promise.” Hoseok assures. “Besides I’ll be here the whole time.”

Your lips press together in what Hoseok recognizes as your version of a smile. The sight warms Hoseok’s heart. It may not be a full smile, but it isn’t your normal frown either. Hoseok hopes one day it can turn into a real bright smile. Moreover he hopes to see it when it does.

“Guys! I’m back and I brought (Y/N) with me.” Hoseok calls as you guys enter the fraternity.

You shy even closer to him practically hiding behind him. You are too cute, nothing like the cold-hearted (Y/N) (L/N) everyone feared. “Are they even awake?”

“It’s mid-afternoon of course we’re awake.” Yoongi snorts coolly, appearing from around the corner. The two of you jump bringing a gummy smile to his face. “So you are Hoseok’s fake girlfriend? Definitely not the type of girl I imagined he’d go for-even if pretend.”

Hoseok frowns. “Yoongi-”

“I don’t know you look like grumpy cat and he is friends with you sooo..” You snap back, reverting to your usual defensive nature.

“(Y/N), remember what we talked about?” Hoseok pleads.

However his pleas are ignored as Yoongi’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Grumpy cat?”

“Meow.” You mock sassily.

Tension fills the room. Hoseok swear he can see lightning flash between you too. He’s about ready to have a panic attack when Yoongi snorts. His heart stops as his white haired friend doubled over laughing. “Meow? Did you really just meow?”

“Maybe.” you shrug, pink dusting your cheeks.

“I like her, Hobi. Keep her around.”

The excitement of his approval brings a fluttering to your heart. You’re so happy you miss Hoseok’s response. In hindsight you know it is such a silly thing to be proud of. After all you weren’t friends or anything with Yoongi, but it is a start. Something Hoseok seem to recognize, because he engulf into a big bear hug. He praises you, not once mentioning your poor etiquette or how you didn’t follow any of his teachings. The warm feeling from last week returns this time planting itself right into your thawed heart.

By the sixth week you’re so deeply ingrained in Hoseok’s life, he can’t remember a day you weren’t there. His mornings now consist of idle chats while walking you to class and the occasional coffee stop. Afternoon involve study trips to the library, followed by lunch either at the café or his fraternity; you are shockingly a good chef, something Hoseok never would’ve guessed. Nights tend to vary in activity, however almost always you two were together. Not day seemed to pass where you weren’t glued to his side and vice versa. Even his brothers took a liking to you, which is unusual given their distaste for Soo-min.

Either way if Hoseok hadn’t already saw you as a friend, he definitely did now. It’s only ironic that during such a growth in your guys’ relationship Soo-min finally takes notice.

“You’re pathetic, you know that Hobi?” Soo-min corners him one day outside of class. A sneer paints her cute little mouth as her nose twitches in obvious disgust. Hoseok swallows hard unable to stop his heart from beating against his chest. Even with that nasty look on her face, she’s still adorable. “I mean seriously? Hanging out with that loser (Y/N) to make me jealous? As if that would ever work, you know she’s a freak right?”

The harsh words against you causes him to frown. He never really understood Soo-min’s hatred of you. All she ever said was you were an emotionless freak and several other mean accusations excusing her dislike of you. Nothing ever substantial. “Stop it, Soo-min. You’re being mean.”

Soo-min’s jaw drops. “Excuse me?! You’re not really defending that-”

“Don’t. I love you Soo-min, but I won’t have you bad talking (Y/N).” Hoseok replies firmly. “Now if you have nothing nice to say I suggest you leave.”

An indignant cry escapes Soo-min as she stomps off like a child. Hoseok releases a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. His head spins with confusion and frustration. Confusion at his sudden shift from how willing he was to drop Soo-min for you. Frustrated at Soo-min’s hatred of you, why couldn’t she see how truly vulnerable you were? He only thank god you weren’t around to hear Soo-min. He could imagine you’d pull back into that shell of yours from her words.

“Well, she still doesn’t like me. Guess that’s a plus for you.”

Hoseok leaped at the sound of your monotone voice. The hairs on the back of his rising as he turned to find you lounging a few feet behind him. Your lips twitch in amusement by his fright. “Jagiya, don’t do that. You know I don’t like it when you sneak up on me.” he breathes out.

You raise an eyebrow shooting him a look. “Jagiya? Aren’t you milking it a bit? Soo-min is nowhere to be seen, and I doubt her little lackeys are watching.”

Another frown finds its way to his face. He rubs the back of his head, guilt eating him inside. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Just the usual sound of her calling me a loser and what not.” You shrug. “She was rather tame if you ask me-sorry, I shouldn’t be talking bad about your girlfriend.”

Hoseok shakes his head. “No, I’m the one who should apologize. Soo-min’s not normally like that. She’s kind, loving, a good person-”

You hold a hand up to halt him. “You don’t need to explain Soo-min to me. There’s a lot of good, kind, loving people who hate me. I’m used to it. I mean I’m the Ice Queen after all, what does it matter if someone is mean to me-”

“IT SHOULD MATTER!!” Hoseok snaps, startling you. This is the first time you ever seen Hoseok mad. It’s alarming. You didn’t even know he could get mad. The boy was the epitome of sunshine and rainbows for God’s sake.

He let out a weary sigh seeming to calm down. “It should matter to you. No one should treat you like this…I can’t stand it. I especially can’t stand why they do it. They don’t even know you. They don’t even try to know you.”

A smile graces your face for the first time ever, but it’s not the smile Hoseok longs to see. It’s a bitter smile full of what he knows to be self-depreciation and hatred. “Could you honestly say you’d be any different if not for Soo-min breaking up with you?”

No, he can’t and it kills him.

On the two month anniversary of your fake relationship Hoseok takes you out to a nice restaurant. It’s a little overkill you think given the hostility Soo-min’s begun to display since her and Hoseok’s confrontation two weeks ago, but you say nothing. Instead you wear the nicest dress you can find and do your best to look enviable for Hoseok’s sake. Your heart aches at the thought that soon the contract between you two will expire, meaning the end of your relationship and friendship. Just the thought alone cause pain to shoot through your being. The seed planted by Hoseok’s kindness has finally started to take root within you, and while you are yet to recognize the emotion it brings, you know it’s nothing good.

“Are you sure this isn’t a little too much? I get that we’re putting on a show for Soo-min, but wouldn’t a café do just as well?” You suggest as Hoseok leads you into the brightly lit restaurant. It’s like something seen on the travel channel or a movie. Its ceilings hung with chandeliers and white silk cloths draped from one end to the other. Servers are dressed in crisp black uniforms setting the tables with multiple silverware. It’s all too much.

You are (Y/N) (L/N), Ice Queen/misfit of Seoul University. You aren’t meant for such treatment. “Aish…like I’d let my girlfriend fake or not go to a café for our anniversary. Nope, sorry Jagiya tonight we dine like royalty.” Hoseok winks.

Heat rushes to your face. Warming your inside as well. Another root spreads off the seed within you. “Hoseok…” you whine. “Really, I’m not meant for this treatment. I’m meant to have frozen pizza and the occasional takeout. Not rich people food.”

Hoseok snorts shaking his head. “Rich people food? You’re sounding awfully judging there. I’m not that rich.”

You’re about to argue otherwise, seeing how his net-worth is twelve million compared to your negative two dollars, but you stop yourself. “Spending this much money isn’t worth it for a fake relationship.”

“No, it’s not.” Hoseok agrees. A serious expression appearing on his face as he stares straight into your eyes. “But it is worth it for a friend.”

The smile reappears on his face as he drags you straight to a table hidden in back. “Come on (Y/N), think of it as a celebration for your success. In the last two month you’ve managed to befriend all my brothers and a few of their girlfriends. If that’s not cause to celebrate I don’t know what is.”

You frown. “Then why don’t we celebrate with them?”

“Really (Y/N)? Can’t you just let me treat you to something nice?” Hoseok pleads.

Your eyes narrow in on him untrusting. It reminds Hoseok of two months ago when this thing started. All the glares and narrowed glances you gave him shook Hoseok to the core. He spent the whole time hopping you wouldn’t murder him as the contract was drafted. Never once did he consider you might be as cautious of him as he was you.

“Fine, but I’m getting the cheapest thing.” you decide, lifting the menu up.

Hoseok watches entertained as you stare at the menu in hard concentration. Your brow wrinkles, nose twitching irritated as you look over the words. You look so much like an angry bunny, he can’t not to smile. “Problem?”

You glare at him over the menu. “You know damn well it’s in Japanese, Jung Hoseok.”

His smile splits into a grin, he wags a finger at you. “Now now (Y/N) remember what we talked about not directing anger at others.”

“Shove it, Sunshine boy.” you reply, pouting in your chair.

Hoseok laughs. He can’t remember why he ever thought you were anything but cute. Meanwhile you are trying to do everything in your power to stop the unpleasant roots of affection clambering beneath your skin.

A week later you find yourself hunched over the toilet sick to your stomach. As fall rolls into winter, flu season hits the college hard. Nearly half of the population is absent from class due to puking their guts out and you’re no exception. So you text Hoseok letting him know not to bother picking you today since you are definitely not leaving anytime soon.

He replies with a simple text telling you to get better, and you spend the rest of the day curled on the couch watching Friends. At some point you must’ve dozed off, because you awaken to a cool towel being placed on your forehead. Your eyes shoot open to see a grim Hoseok hovering anxiously over you. “Hey Jagiya, didn’t mean to startle you.” he murmurs softly.

“Again with the Jagiya? You know we’re the only ones here right?’ you croak, bringing a smile to his face.

“Sorry. I guess it’s just kinda becoming habit you know?”

Yes, you do know and you don’t like it. Jagiya is a nickname lovers give each other, while it was appropriate to use when feigning a relationship it shouldn’t be used so thoughtlessly outside that time frame.

“Whatever.” You mutter, ignoring the sharp pain in your ribs. “What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have stuff to do?”

Hoseok pouts. “I’m taking care of you aren’t I? Doesn’t that count as doing something?”

You blush as yet again warmth floods your body. It’s been years since someone’s taken care of you. When you were little all you had to depend on was your Aunt and Uncle, they were never too fond of you. Hoseok being here for you…it’s almost too sweet to handle.

“I should have never given you a key.” You mutter, burying yourself under the blankets.

Thankfully Hoseok laughs not turned off by your rudeness. “Well it’s too late now. I’m not giving it up without a fight.”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t you have a frat house or something to go invade? I’m sure they’ll be happy to have your sunny ass.”

“Maybe.” Hoseok hums. “But I’m not returning until I’m sure you’re alright. The flu is a nasty thing. It kills you know?”

It kills…your mind flashes back to the contents of your vomit earlier. A hollow feeling fills you as your chest tightens. The flu killed, but maybe not as bad the affection blossoming within you for Hoseok.

Barely a week passes by when you decide to take the bull by its horn. The contract is on its last legs. While your end of the bargain is more than fulfilled, Hoseok’s still is nowhere near complete. Since that day he stood up for you, Soo-min had been sniffing around more, but it wasn’t enough. Time was running out in more than one way and you’d be damned if Hoseok didn’t get the happiness he deserves by the end of it.

Which is why you decide to make the ultimate move one day after class…a wide mouth sloppy kiss pressed against Hoseok’s unsuspecting lips. He jolts not shocked by your brazen behavior. Physical affection had been apart of the contract, but until now it consisted solely of hand holding, hugs, and the occasional peck of forehead. For you to throw yourself at him like this…well you’re surprised Hoseok has enough sense to kiss you back.

Unsurprisingly Hoseok is well versed in the art of kissing. His tongue gently entangling itself with yours as he guides you through it. He’s so good at it you almost believe Hoseok’s kissing you because he wants to and not to make Soo-min jealous. The thought causes your heart to leap, but reality brings a choking feeling to you. Reluctantly you pull away before the sensation gets too overwhelming.

Hoseok silently stares at you, tongue running across his lips. “That was…”

“Unexpected, I know, sorry.” You says. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Soo-min glaring daggers at you. Undoubtedly this little stunt will book you meeting with her, but you could care less. “But if it’s any consolation, I think it did the trick. Don’t look now but Soo-min seems rather jealous.”

“Soo-min?” Hoseok asks, eyeing immediately going towards the girl. He lets out a breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Right, Soo-min.”

You pat his shoulder. “Give it a day or two, but I promise she’ll come running back.”

Hoseok nods wordlessly his eyes never leaving Soo-min. Your lips twitch upwards into a small smile, the suffocating pain growing as your love for him blooms. You lick your lips tasting the foreboding flavor of iron. “I guess this is it for us, huh Sunshine boy?”

You press one last kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for everything. I really enjoyed being your friend while it lasted.”

Hoseok snaps out of his trance. “While it lasted? (Y/N) wait-”

However it’s too late. You’ve already disappeared into the throng of students nowhere to be seen. Hoseok’s heart squeeze at memory of your sad smile. For the last few weeks all he wanted was to see you smile, but never like that. Silently Hoseok wonders if he caused that hurt smile of yours. If he did, Hoseok doesn’t think he can forgive himself.

Two days later you find yourself surrounded by Soo-min and her minions. It is nothing new, seeing how your antagonistic relationship goes back a good decade and a half. However this time there is more than just mutual dislike between you two. “You know Hoseok’s only dating you to get me back right? He would never look at you otherwise.” Soo-min taunts, a wicked grin splitting across her face.

She wants to make you suffer-to hurt you in the worst way possible. It’s something Soo-min’s always dreamt of, only to get disappointed by your apathy towards her. This time is no different.

“You’re probably right.” You agree. “But then again, you would think he’d realize it’s not working and give up, if that’s the case. I mean you’re obviously not going back to him, yet Hoseok’s still dating me. Hmmm …I wonder…”

Her face turns red causing you more joy than necessary. Normally you didn’t antagonize Soo-min like this, but you have a part to play. Hoseok wants her back, and you would do anything to help, even if it meant putting yourself in the line of fire.

“You disgusting freak! Stay away from my boyfriend!” Soo-min shrieks.

A sharp slap rings through the air as pain spreads across your cheek. It takes you a second to realize what had happened. Your cheek stings something awfully fierce, and you know without a doubt it’ll be swollen later. Yet none of this matters, because Soo-min said the magic words. The words that would bring Hoseok happiness.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” a familiar voice yells.

Your head whips over to see Yoongi marching over. Anger radiates off him as Yoongi pushes his way in front of you, his back creating a barrier between you and your tormentors. Confusion fills the air as everyone, but Yoongi are surprised by his actions. Soo-min steps forward looking as innocent as can be. “Yoongi-oppa, what are you doing here?”

“I was walking to class, when I saw you attack (Y/N).” Yoongi grits.

Soo-min actually has the gall to play dumb. “Attack? I would never attack anyone, oppa. You must be seeing things. We’re just having a friendly chat with (Y/N) weren’t we girls?”

“Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s rain, Soo-min. I know what I saw and when Hobi finds out, you can kiss that stupid little hold you have over him goodbye-”

“Stop it, Yoongi. Please.”

Yoongi stills at your words. His eyes wide with disbelief. “No (Y/N), you can’t let her get away with this. Hoseok wouldn’t want-”

Your eyes screw shut not wanting to hear his words. Your chest constricts with a pain you’ve grown all too accustomed to. “Please Oppa, just take me home.”

Yoongi give you a conflicted look, but cedes nonetheless. He wraps an arm around your shoulder glaring at the girls as he leads you back home. You don’t even bother opening your eyes. You know Soo-min’s grinning victoriously.

Night falls and your cheek is now the size of a golf ball. Yoongi sits besides you pressing a cold pack to it. You’re eternally grateful for the blonde, even if you wished he’d leave. His presence only reminds you of how soon everything will end. “I don’t see why you refuse to tell Hoseok this? Soo-min or not, he won’t put up with someone treating his friends like this.” Yoongi says for the millionth time.

You shrug, curling into yourself. “What does it matter? It all be over soon anyway. Soo-min will undoubtedly return to Hoseok like he wanted, and our friendship will be over.. It’ll be like none of this ever happened.”

“That’s bullshit.” Yoongi gritted. “And you know it. Hobi isn’t one to abandon his friends like that.”

“Maybe.” You murmur, eyes flickering to the jars on your shelf. Each one of them is filled to the brim with white orchid petals. The sight makes you laugh genuinely laugh. Of all the flowers out there it had to be something so rare and exotic. A flower to represent the fragility and abnormality of the love blossomed from the Ice Queen for a ray of sunshine.

The taste of iron coats your tongue as your chest gave another excruciating squeeze. Swallowing back the blood, bile and petals threatening to escape you turn towards the blonde haired boy. Shooting him a soft smile you ask. “Hey Yoongi..do you know what Hanahaki disease is?”

——————————————————————————————————–

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 ) is a disease where the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings for or memory of their love also disappear.

#j-hope x reader #hoseok x reader #hobi x reader #hoseok #bts x reader #j-hope #hobi sunshine #jung hoseok #hoseok imagine #bts imagines #angst #hanahaki #bts fic #jhope x reader #j-hope imagine #yoongi #bts suga #bts hosoek

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alittlebitweird4 · 4 years

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Heart of a Monster (Fraxus Fantasy AU) - FT Reverse Bang 2020

I am so excited to show off my piece for the Fairy Tail Reverse Bang hosted by @ftguildevents ! This was my first time participating in something like this and I had a blast! My fanfiction is based on fanart created by the amazingly talented @fairiesherefairiesthere which you can check out here. I have been wanting to write something like this but didn’t know where to start but their piece and ideas gave me the inspiration that I needed. I am really proud of how it came out (although there are other things I would have added in if I had the time). Regardless, I hope y’all enjoy this. Thanks so much to my fabulous beta reader @onyxbaku (Twitter) who, among other things, helped me get Laxus to sound more Laxus-y.

Synopsis:

Freed is a peaceful spirit living on the outskirts of the kingdom of Magnolia. Frightened by this mystical being and misunderstanding his intentions, the humans gather a mob to vanquish the spirit. After a difficult battle, the humans successfully capture the spirit’s heart; however, instead of killing him, this act transforms the once kind spirit into a horrible monster. The king sends his strongest knight, Laxus to finish the job. But Laxus ends up growing closer to Freed than he expected.

Genres: fanfiction, AU, fantasy, BL

You can read the story on Wattpad, AO3, or under the cut. Enjoy and remember to check out all the other amazing entries for this event~

Prologue~

Once upon a time, a spirit was said to be lurking on the outskirts of the kingdom of Magnolia. The humans, frightened by this foreign presence, plead to their king for protection. When the king brushed aside their fears, they decided to take matters into their own hands. A group of villagers headed up the mountain with the intention of capturing the spirit’s heart as a trophy and as a warning to other paranormal entities.

“Freed! They’re coming!” Evergreen shouted, pointing at the mob ascending the mountain - a pulsing mass of fire and anger approaching the castle.

“My babies and I can take care of them,” Bickslow announced, raising up the wooden dolls which contained the souls he controlled.

“Hold your attacks,” Freed replied calmly.

With a loud bang, the door came down and the humans flooded into the castle. Freed remained seated, Bickslow and Evergreen on either side of him ready to spring into action if needed.

“Monsters!” a man yelled, stepping forward from the group with a sword in his hand.

“Rude,” Evergreen muttered, earning a glare from Freed.

“This is your chance to get far away from here and never bother us again. Otherwise…” the man said, raising his sword, “we’ll take matters into our own hands.”

“Yeah! Tell them, Trevor!” The villagers cheered the man on.

“We have no quarrel with your people. We do not wish to fight you,” Freed replied.

“What? I do!” Bickslow retaliated, his babies chanting “Fight! Fight!” as they floated around him.

The crowd gasped. One young man, in horrified disbelief, said, “It’s true! A soul-stealing demon!”

“Bickslow!” Freed reprimanded. Bickslow replied with a nervous laugh, realizing that he had made the situation worse.

“A-and I hear the woman is a witch!” the young man continued.

“Witch?” Evergreen gasped. “Who’s going around calling me a witch?! I’m clearly a beautiful fairy!”

“That leader must be really terrifying to be able to give orders to a demon and a witch.”

“I’m not a witch!”

“Then let’s cut off the head of the snake!” The first man, Trevor, cheered. He charged into battle with the rest of the mob quickly following suit.

Freed sighed. “Please, we do not want to hurt you. We only wish to continue on with our lives here in peace.” He was drowned out by the commotion. The mob was on them in full force and Evergreen and Bickslow were beginning to fight back. “Evergreen, Bickslow, do not kill or maim anyone. Do only what you must to survive. Don’t let them turn us into monst-” his words were cut short by a dagger plunging into his chest. He looked down to see the same terrified young man from earlier.

“Take its heart as a prize, Michael!” someone called to the boy. The young human reached into Freed’s chest and pulled out his heart. He held up his prize hesitantly to the rest of the mob, who cheered violently. Bickslow and Evergreen screamed and tried to run to Freed through the mob.

Thunder rumbled. The castle shook. Instead of dying, Freed began to transform. He let out a guttural scream as he grew in size and sprouted giant horns. The hole where his heart had been glowed, the pulsing light mimicking the lost heartbeat.

“Freed!” Evergreen finally reached her friend; however, the greeting she received was not friendly by any means. The newly transformed Freed reached out and mercilessly plucked the fairy’s wings. As Evergreen screeched in pain, she was covered in glowing purple runes. When the glowing subsided, she was gone.

The mob looked around in terror. “Up there!” someone shouted, pointing at a window. Evergreen was trapped in the stained glass, her magic separated from her and secured in a second window.

“Freed… what did you do?” Bickslow’s horrified shock quickly turned into anger and he charged. Freed picked each of the flying dolls out of the air. “My babies!” Before Bickslow could transfer the souls or do anything else to fight back, he too was covered in those glowing purple runes. On the wall facing Evergreen’s windows, Bickslow and his babies occupied two more.

The humans fled the castle as quickly as they could, trampling over each other in panic. Some of them were captured by the monster. Those who made it out ran back home without a look back at the castle. Their mission was a success, but had an unexpected outcome. Instead of dying, the spirit was transformed into a terrible monster.

The young man who had wrenched the spirit's heart from his chest went to the king for help. He described truthfully what had happened and what he had done, not sparing any gruesome details of the ensuing transformation and violence.

The king instructed his subject to bury the heart and to not spread his story. The monarch's worst fears were coming true and he wished to sweep everything under the rug as quickly as possible. So, to fix the mess, he decided to call in the local magical knight to quickly dispose of the demon.

Laxus smiled smugly, quite satisfied with himself. He had just come from a meeting during which the king begged for his help. There was just something about having royalty bow down to him instead of the other way around. He supposed it was just another perk of being the resident magical knight.

After preparing some supplies, he set out from the small town in the direction of the ominous castle whose occupant had been making the locals uneasy. The closer he got, the more he could feel the darkness emanating from the place. Heh. I'm gonna show this demon who's boss, Laxus thought with a smirk. The prospect of putting a horrible monster in its place got his blood pumping with excitement and confidence.

Standing in front of the castle door, he took a deep breath. Then, he stormed in with a flash of lightning. Subtlety was never his strong suit. However, as soon as he passed the threshold, he found himself caught in a trap of glowing purple runes. He writhed in pain, feeling as if his very life force was being drained by the runes. He soon found out that it wasn’t his life force, but rather his magic that was being ripped from him. His eyes followed a beam of bright light from his body to the stained glass windows lining the room. He watched in horror as the pattern on one of the windows became that of lighting bolts - Laxus’ magic. It appeared that several other magical abilities, and even a couple of people, had been trapped here as well. On one side, a woman looked down at him in anguish from her stained glass prison. Next to her was a pattern of wings, which Laxus guessed had once belonged to her. Opposite the woman was a man in a helmet. Laxus wondered if this man had been another knight sent in to do this job; however, he quickly dismissed the thought as nothing else about the man suggested knighthood. Beside the helmet-wearing man was a window panel containing some sort of wooden creatures.

What happened here? Laxus wondered in disgusted horror as the last of his power was drained from him. He could hear heavy footsteps descending the stairs and coming towards him. His head was spinning and he was in pain but he managed to make out the sight of a towering figure with large horns and a gaping hole in its chest. The demon smiled sickly at his new prey. The glistening fangs and cold eyes were the last things Laxus saw before everything went black.

When Laxus finally came to, those horrible images he had witnessed came flooding back to him. Drowning in nightmares, he gasped for air. After a few desperate breaths, he finally calmed down enough to take in his surroundings. He noticed a square of runes on the ground around him. He reached out his arm and the runes came shooting up, forming a glowing cage and singeing his hand upon contact. “Shit, that actually hurt!” he complained.

A deep, slow chuckle sounded in response to his pain. Laxus looked up to see the same demon he had glimpsed earlier. The creature was sitting on a throne and wearing an expression like that of a cat playing with a mouse.

Laxus swallowed his fear and stood up, locking eyes with the creature before him. “Demon! I have been sent here by my king to vanquish you once and for all,” his voice resonated clearly and loudly through the castle.

“Is that so? And how is that going for you?” The creature retorted with a smirk. “You have no magic and can’t leave that square. You will be my plaything until you rot or until I grow bored of you.” His voice was gravelly and distorted. Whatever this creature was he did not look or sound human. Laxus recalled some of the old wives’ tales he’d heard about people who’d had their souls stolen and wondered if this was what they turned into.

Laxus’ eye twitched slightly with anger at being belittled by the demon. “I’ll find a way out,” he declared with cool arrogance, though he knew deep down that the odds were not in his favour. “And when I do, watch out. I’m going to make sure that you never terrorize any humans again.”

The demon chuckled at Laxus’ baseless optimism, a horrible sound that somehow resembled that of breaking glass. “Whatever you say… hero,” the last word was dripping with so much venom that Laxus shuddered involuntarily.

Growing bored of Laxus, the demon turned and left up the staircase. Long green hair and a cape adorned with stars flowed behind him. Laxus could imagine children wishing upon stars at night only for this demon to pluck those stars out of the sky and wear those shattered dreams.

“Hey! Come back here!” Laxus called into the empty space where the demon had been. He was alone, with only the terrified faces frozen in the stained glass to keep him company.

The following morning, Laxus woke from a shallow and restless sleep on the cold hard floor of the castle. He was startled by the sight of the demon looming over him, studying him.

“Are you finally gonna let me out of here so we can settle this like men?” Laxus asked.

“You don’t see me as a man. Only as a monster,” the demon’s distorted voice made Laxus feel sick. He couldn’t argue with that statement. The demon retreated back to his throne from which he observed his prey.

“So… who are they?” Laxus asked, gesturing to the stained glass, trying to make conversation. “Those are real people in there, right?”

“I think… I think they were my... friends?” The word “friends” was the last thing that Laxus had expected to hear and sounded especially wrong coming out of the demon’s mouth.

“Some friend you are,” Laxus muttered.

“What was that?”

“If that’s how you treat your friends, I can’t wait to see what you have in store for me,” the knight said sarcastically, his cocky optimism returning.

The light emanating from the hole in the demon’s chest grew brighter and pulsed rapidly. “You know nothing,” he said angrily.

“So what did your ‘friends’ call you?” Laxus asked flippantly, ignoring the creature’s growing anger. “You must have a name, right?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Huh? Then what do people call you?”

“No one is calling me anything now,” he gestured to the stained glass. After a pause he added, “I think I had a name at some point. I can’t remember it now though and it is not important,” as he spoke, his tone grew angrier.

“It really bothers you doesn’t it?”

“Do not mock me, human.”

“Geez, don’t be so sensitive. I wasn’t-” The demon waved his hand and the runes glowed, causing Laxus to fall asleep mid sentence.

Even after several days, Laxus still was not accustomed to waking up on the castle floor. “Why haven’t you just killed me by now?” Laxus asked, his voice coarse and weak from lack of food and water.

“I… don’t know.”

“All you ever say is ‘I don’t know.’ What the fuck do you know, then?” Ignoring the demon’s angry growls he continued, “Wait a minute… you can’t kill me. That’s the only reason that makes sense. You can’t kill me, can you?” The demon’s silence confirmed Laxus’ suspicions. “So why not, then? You have me trapped here, starving to death, because you’re too weak to kill me yourself? Is that it?”

“I told you I DON’T KNOW,” the demon roared, the light in his chest pulsing angrily.

“What, you got amnesia? Did you hit your oversized head?”

"I… didn't fight back,” he spoke slowly.

Laxus raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“When the humans came… I… didn’t fight back,” he sounded confused as if even he himself couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t fight back against attackers.

"Bull. Shit," Laxus taunted, angering the demon further. "I saw the guys who confronted you. Given the shape they were in you can't honestly tell me you were a gracious host."

The creature thought for a moment but it seemed as though he couldn’t fully remember or understand what had transpired on that day. “What does it matter?” He asked angrily. He paused and sighed before asking, “Did I kill any of them?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t know.”

Laxus sighed, then thought for a moment. The people who had come running back from the castle had been injured but not fatally, and those unlucky few who had been captured eventually found their way back as well. “No. I think everyone managed to survive.”

“Why didn’t I kill them?”

“Why the hell are you asking me?”

The demon slumped in his throne and took a deep breath. “I… don’t know who I am. When the humans came… they changed me.”

“What do you mean changed?”

“What happened exactly is foggy. I don’t even know when it happened, though I can guess based on your arrival and… the visions.”

“Visions?”

“Pieces of that day. They’ve been coming back to me in fragments. Those two,” he gestured to the figures in the stained glass, “they stood by me. I told them not to fight. I don’t know why I did that,” he spoke as though he was trying to recount someone else’s memories. “One of the humans - a young man - he charged at me. I felt a wave of anger and then… nothing. The next thing I remember is seeing humans fleeing back towards the kingdom.”

“So you conveniently don’t remember any of the things that you did. The things that put dozens of people in the hospital.Your story is that humans stormed into your castle and attacked you and your ‘friends’ unprovoked. One young guy came at you, a towering demon, and busted you up so bad you blacked out. And then they all decided to run away?”

“I know how it sounds but that is the truth. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. Your opinion does not matter.”

“Well if you really believed that you wouldn’t be keeping me around for these meaningless conversations,” Laxus muttered.

After a pause, the demon added, “I don’t think I was always… like this. That boy… he took something from me.”

“Oh so the big bad humans stole from you too?”

The demon, lost in thought and grappling with his hazy memories, ignored Laxus’ snide remark. He hesitantly brought a hand up to the hole in his chest. “There was something here,” he said in a faraway voice.

“Your heart?” Laxus asked, puzzled.

“Heart?”

“Ya know the organ in a person’s chest that pumps blood through their body? The thing people associate with kindness and… love.”

“Love? What is that?”

“You don’t know what love is?”

The demon shook his head.

“Well I guess it’s like… a feeling,” Laxus blushed. He wasn’t easily flustered but then again he had never before found himself having to explain love to a demon. “Like you would do anything for someone because… they mean the world to you and make you feel… whole.”

The demon touched the hole where his heart had presumably once been.

“Hey! Restore my magic,” Laxus demanded boldly.

The demon chuckled. “Why do you suppose I do that?”

“If you don’t, then I’ll have a harder time marching into that town and getting your heart back,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“You would do that?”

“Of course. They had no right to take it from you in the first place.”

“But if I give you back your power, then there’s nothing to guarantee that you will return. What is stopping you from leaving here and never coming back? Or coming back with an army to kill me?” Freed asked, skeptically.

“I’m a man of my word.”

“You gave your word to your king that you would kill me.”

“No, I gave him my word that I would take care of the problem. I get your heart back and you stop being all monster-y, right?”

“I think so.”

“Eh, good enough,” Laxus shrugged, smiling slightly. Noticing that the demon still had reservations he added, “Trust me.”

The demon sighed. Suddenly, Laxus’ skin crawled with purple runes.

“What the hell?” Laxus exclaimed. Though he shortly began feeling reinvigorated. He saw the lightning pattern disappearing from the stained glass and felt the familiar tingle of electricity sparking in his veins.

“Your magic has been returned to you,” the demon said, eyeing Laxus warily.

“Oh yeah I feel stronger now! Time to go get that heart,” Laxus declared. “I wish I knew what to call you.”

“I think my name was… Freed.”

“Okay, then. See you soon, Freed.”

“See you soon…”

“Laxus. Laxus Dreyar.”

“I demand an audience with the king!” Laxus easily pushed through the palace guards.

“Oh, Laxus! You’re back! Does that mean the mission was a success? Is that horrid monster finally dead?” The king asked hopefully.

“He’s only a monster because you people made him one!”

“Preposterous! I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Yeah right,” Laxus scoffed. “That’s the reason you just sent me, right? You wanted it done quickly and quietly.”

“I don’t like your tone, Laxus. You should show respect to your king.”

“Ha! Then you should be a king worthy of respect.”

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“I’ll let myself out. If you’re not gonna give me answers then you’re just in my way.”

Laxus stormed out of the castle, fuming. His quest wasn’t going as smoothly as expected. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar figure.

“Michael.”

The boy jumped and attempted to avoid Laxus’ gaze.

“Michael… you were there, right? At the demon castle? Tell me what happened that day.” Remembering the anguished look on Freed’s face, he grew more desperate. “Please,” he added sincerely.

Michael was shocked at the desperation in Laxus’ voice. “Well…” he began, “one of the men from the village said he was gathering a mob to take care of a spirit living on the outskirts of the kingdom. Spirits make a lot of people anxious and the king wasn’t doing anything about it. So a group of us went to the old castle where the spirit has been seen. I honestly didn’t actually expect to see anyone… but the spirit was there with his two friends. The spirit didn’t want to fight. I… I think I messed up, Laxus.”

“What did you do, Michael?”

“I took the spirit’s heart,” his voice was trembling and barely audible. He swallowed hard then continued with his story. “I made everything worse. He didn’t die. He… changed. He got bigger and scarier and… so much angrier. He even attacked his own friends.” Tears started to form in the boy’s eyes.

Hearing Freed’s story confirmed renewed Laxus’ motivation. “Where is his heart?”

“The king told me to bury it. I’m not even supposed to be telling anyone this story. Wait… you’re not-”

“Working for the king? I’m supposed to be. But I went to the castle and saw what became of that spirit. He’s in pain, Michael. I won’t turn you in to the king. I just want to fix this mess. So… where did you bury the heart?”

“I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to just cover up the mess I made and pretend it never happened.” Michael disappeared into his home and came back out shortly clutching a wooden box. He looked around nervously, checking for anyone who might be watching, before handing the box to Laxus.

“Thank you, Michael.”

Michael nodded. As Laxus was turning to leave, the younger man added, “Please… tell him I’m sorry.”

“Will do.”

The king must have expected Laxus would retrieve Freed’s heart. The royal army surrounded the kingdom’s border, blocking Laxus’ path to Freed.

“How could you side with a monster, Laxus?” One of the knights implored.

“How could you?” Laxus retorted. “Your king is a liar. The only monster out there was created by the people of this kingdom. Get out of my way so I can fix this mess.”

“Stand down, Laxus,” the head knight warned, brandishing his sword. It made Laxus laugh.

“You really think you can stop me? I can crush you all like mere ants under my boot.”

On their leader’s command, the army charged at Laxus. Laxus retaliated with lightning. A sword caught him in the arm, but it didn’t slow him down. On the contrary, it angered him and drove him to fight harder. “This is for Freed,” he said, knocking down the knights in his way with a bolt of lightning.

Laxus broke through the barricade and ran on autopilot to the castle, clutching the wooden box tightly to his chest.

Laxus crashed through the door, panting after having run all the way up the mountain.

“You came back,” Freed marveled.

“Of course… I did,” Laxus said, still trying to catch his breath. He held up the box triumphantly. However, the smug look on his face quickly disappeared. “Shit. Someone’s coming. They must have followed me.”

“Who followed you?”

Freed’s question was answered by the royal army bursting through the door of the castle.

“They did,” Laxus answered. He tucked the box away in his coat and prepared to fight.

Seeing that Laxus was outnumbered, Freed made a decision. The stained glass glowed brightly and two people came out of it. The two looked at Freed, then at the army. Though disoriented, they did not hesitate to back up Laxus in defending their old friend.

“Laxus,” one of the knights began, “if you’re going to defend monsters then you will be vanquished like one!”

“Oh we are not the monsters here!” The woman from the stained glass argued.

Laxus took her words to heart. She was right. He took the box out of his coat and called to Freed, “Heads up!”

The box hurtled towards him and he caught it. He opened it hesitantly and his heart, as if pulled by an imaginary force, flew to his chest where it belonged. With a flash of light, Freed changed back into his original form.

Though smaller and admittedly less intimidating, he walked confidently up to the fight. “I am not a monster, and so I will give you one more chance to back down from this ridiculous fight,” he said calmly to the army. The two figures from the stained glass looked at each other and nodded before falling into line behind him. Freed held out his hand to Laxus. Laxus hesitated before grasping it and joining his new friends. “Now,” Freed began, addressing the troops, “would you really like to charge against four powerful magical beings who just want to continue living their lives unbothered, or can we handle this like adults?”

One by one, the soldiers began to lower their swords and mutter apologies for disturbing the spirit and his friends. “Good choice,” Freed replied. “Now go back to your kingdom. Tell your people that we mean them no harm. And tell your king that we will not be so forgiving next time something like this happens.”

The soldiers filed out quickly with frantic gasps of “yes, sir!”

Once they had all gone, Freed sighed and turned to his friends. “I’m so sorry!”

“I’m so sorry for the way I treated all three of you. Though I’ll admit I do not fully remember all of it. Without my heart… I just felt so… empty. And I lashed out. I apologize deeply.”

“It’s okay, Freed, we know that wasn’t really you,” the woman reassured him, patting his arm.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it!” The helmeted man chimed in. Wooden dolls floated behind him repeating his words.

“Thank you, Evergreen. Thank you, Bickslow.” Freed looked pleadingly up at Laxus. Now that Freed was back to his normal appearance, Laxus was the taller of the two.

“Yeah. It wasn’t your fault,” Laxus replied gruffly, fighting back a blush.

“Thank you, Laxus,” Freed replied, relieved. “Now. What will you do? I’m afraid you probably won’t be welcomed back into your kingdom.”

“Yeah I guess not. I don’t think I’d want to go back anyway after what they did.”

“Well… there are plenty of rooms here,” Freed stated. “You’re welcome to stay if you want.”

“Really?”

“After all the trouble I caused, the least I can offer you is shelter and protection. I promise you can actually have a proper room this time, not just a rune cage in the foyer.”

“Heh, well that sounds like a pretty good deal, then.”

Freed reached out his hand and Laxus shook it, sealing the deal.

10~

Laxus took some time to explore the castle before finally venturing into his own room.

“Laxus?” Freed stepped in from the hallway and approached the man hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to say thank you for sticking up for me like that and for getting my heart back. I know you sacrificed a lot even though I did nothing to deserve your kindness.”

Laxus was shocked by Freed’s honesty and sincerity. “It was nothing,” he declared with a shrug. “Besides, you’re a lot nicer with your heart than without so it is a win-win for everyone, right?”

“Heh I guess so,” Freed blushed. “Still, it means a lot to me. I feel like my words are not enough to express my gratitude.” He pondered this for a moment and then moved closer to Laxus. He quickly placed a kiss on the other man’s lips.

Laxus was stunned, but only for a moment. He quickly recovered from the shock and wrapped an arm around Freed’s slender waist, pulling him closer to kiss him deeply. They stood there, entwined in each other's arms, in a well-deserved escape from the chaos they had experienced that week.

#ftrbb2020 #fairy tail #fraxus #raijinshuu #freed justine #laxus dreyar #fantasy #au

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brightlycoloredteacups · 5 years

Text

Poisoned Secrets

Chapter one: Invitation

Pairings: Steve x OFM, Bucky x OFC

Summary: When Tony throws a lavish dinner party, everyone involved has their life changed forever.

Warnings: Non-con elements in this chapter.

A/N: Much inspired by my lovely friend @salimahbicharara-comun I too wanted to make my own Victorian AU. So thanks for the inspiration. And of course, thanks to the wonderful @sammi-faye for being my wonderful Beta Reader on this. Her ideas and time are indispensable to me.

Tagging: None

Next Chapter

The road leading to the Rogers Plantation was much too rough for a proper motor car. So Tony Stark took his carriage. Down the pitted lane they bumped, the wheel fitting perfectly into the rough grooves of the lane. Mud splashed the sides of his vehicle, but he didn’t mind, he would have Francis wash it all off later.

The lane is covered with shade, making it a sight cooler than the rest of the plantation. The damnably hot day was scented with the magnolia’s that surrounded the road, each tree dripping moss on the ground. The pink flowers carpeted the ground so completely even the carriage wheels couldn’t drive them off in their flurry.

Tony was paying his monthly visit to the Rogers Household. Eleven fifteen, a most respectable time to pay a visit. Known for being the least respectable man in town, behind Joseph Rogers, Tony was trying his best these days to rectify his image. If only so his darling Venus would see him as something more than a mere nuisance. As it turned out, he didn’t know what the hell she thought of him, and that scared him to his rotted core.

Everything at the Rogers Plantation works like a well oiled clock. His carriage stops at the foot of the stairs, and he hops out. The doorman, who seems to have been looking out for him, as he well should be, opens the door to allow Tony in. Sarah Rogers, Matriarch, glides down the steps to greet him. “Mr. Stark!” She says, putting on a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Mrs. Rogers.” He replies, handing her a bouquet of flowers. Neither of them comment on the crushed nature of the flowers. He looks around anxiously. “Venus is finishing up the morning chores.” She tells him, throwing decorum to the wind. She knew why he was here, there was no sense in beating ‘round the bush. “She’ll be along momentarily. Why don’t we sit on the veranda, it’s a most beautiful day.”

It was the last thing Tony wanted. It was stiflingly hot outside. If the mosquitoes didn’t get to him, then the heat would. “Of course,” He says, offering his arm. At least there would be lemonade.

They step out on to the veranda, overlooking the most intricately planned out garden in the entire city. Tony appreciated the beauty, but was immediately struck by the intense heat. Immediately starting to sweat, just as he feared, they sat at a small table, and was served by a servant he could never remember the name of.

“Venus will be down shortly,” Sara says, “I’m sure.” Tony nods impatiently. Shortly isn’t soon enough. She should’ve met him at the door so he could skip all this pleasantry.

There was decorum he had to keep in front of Sara Rogers that he didn’t need to in front of his daughter. With Venus, he could talk to her about anything, in any way. He liked that about her. They were frank with each other, and they were comfortable with that. He stifles a sigh and gets on with the matter.

“There’s another reason I’ve come.” He informs her. “Oh?” She takes a delicate sip of lemonade, sounding as disinterested as possible. Sara was the only woman in the city that didn’t treat him like a god among mortals. Apparently she had no interest in his roguish good looks, and he was thankful for it. He considered her one of his closest friends, which was saying something, considering he had no real friends.

“I’ve recently been to Egypt.”

“I’ve heard, how was your visit?”

“Enlightening.” He answers her honestly. “I did a bit of archeology myself, and I’ve uncovered some beautiful artefacts.”

“No doubt, your family is known to plunder final resting places.” Tony lets the comment slide. “I’m showing it off tomorrow night. Including the mummy. I’m inviting your family.” He takes the gilded card from his chest pocket, thanking whatever god was listening that it wasn’t damp with hsi sweat. “Think it over.”

“Am I to assume Venus is invited as well?” The comment is stinging. Decorum dictates that she would stay at home and look after the house, but Venus was different. “Yes,” Tony said. “I’m going to surprise her with her own invitation.”

“I’ll provide her with the proper dress.”

“Don’t,” He says a little too quickly. “I will. I already have her dress picked out. I’ll send it tomorrow, along with a carriage for her.” Sara laughs. “You never dote on her, what’s the occasion.” Tony squirms in his chair. “My reasons are my own.”

“Of course.” Sara was going to say something else, but they were interrupted by none other than Venus. She looks harried, as though she rushed through her chores to meet them. Tony stands quickly, nearly upending the small tablet. Sara, in turn, rises more gently, like the matron she is. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She says, floating across the veranda and through the doorway. Venus curtsies, as is custom for a servant. Tony huffs, irritated with it all, “Shall we go somewhere cooler?”

“As you wish.” Venus turns and leads him inside the house. The invitation he has in his pocket, written especially for her, had never felt so heavy.

Venus knew he was there long before he heard the click of the lock sliding into place. She ignores him, smoothing the bed spread into place and tucking underneath the mattress. Hopefully this time the ignore tactic will work. She knows by the touch of his hand it doesn’t. Gulping, she pushes it off, a silent plea for him to leave her alone.

“Father’s out,” He says, “Mother’s downstairs with Stark. They’re talking about something, I don’t know, we have a few minutes to ourselves.”

“I should go serve Mr. Stark.” She whispers, trying to slip past him. She doesn’t get very far. He grabs her hand and pulls her to him. “Ramonda is serving him,” He whispers before diving in to kiss her. It’s awful.

Her blood runs cold, stopping dead in it’s tracks. Her stomach turns flips as she finds herself kissing him back. She’s played this part all too well for far too long. Hopefully today will be the day Tony will take her away. Lord knows she asked enough, prayed enough, to be delivered from the clutches of one Steven Grant Rogers.

He pulls back and presses his forehead against hers. “Your kisses always leave me weak.” He whispers, smiling. “Isn’t that strange?”

“Not so strange,” She tells him, “Yours has my stomach in knots.” He chuckles and draws her ever closer, into a tight hug. “One day,” He says, in between kisses on her shoulders, “One day, I will marry you.”

“Oh?”

“And we’ll have children of our own. They’ll be beautifully colored, like you.” Her cheeks burn. Colored like her. That was the great divide between them. Venus wasn’t just any serving girl, she was a colored serving girl, and she would never be allowed to marry Steven Rogers if his father had any say on the matter. And he did, a lot of say.

Venus was happy to agree with the old drunk on that matter. Being married to him sounded like the worst of nightmares to her.

She hurriedly pushes him away when she feels his tug of her apron. He outright laughs at her. “Prudent as always. You’re right, there isn’t enough time.” She feels him push his growing hardness into her belly. Swallowing thickly, she prays to anyone that will hear her, let her get away from this man, and quickly.

Her hopes are dashed against the rocks as he pushes her to the bed. “Lay back,” He whispers, “Allow me to pleasure you.” She does as instructed, opening her legs up to him. Despite herself, she feels wetness between her legs, a growing anticipation of what to come. She’d much rather him like this. Disappearing underneath her skirts to pleasure her.

She can see him and he won’t talk while he’s busy. Most of all, this way, she could play pretend.

It wasn’t Steve’s rough hands that traveled up her thigh and part her lips. It was Bucky’s. It was Bucky’s tongue that licked a long stripe up her cunt, then attached itself to her clit. Bucky that sucked her until her toes curled. It was him, always him.

As usual, Steve takes her from her fantasies by using too much teeth. She hisses in pain and back away. Even after all this time, he’s still as clumsy as a virgin. She may be partly to blame, she never told him he was bad at this. Steve pulls her closer, thinking she’s feeling too much pleasure. She thinks harder about Bucky. About his warm, plump lips, his long brown hair, his piercing blue eyes. It does the trick. They’re both back on the right track.

It all ends quickly, thank God, with a whimper and a small, jittery shaking of the legs. Before Steve can say anything, she straightens herself up. “Venus,” Steve says, brows knitting together. “Wait,” He calls after her as she rushes from the room. She does not wait. She runs away.

How can he be so stupid? How can he not see how plainly uncomfortable he makes her? It’s his station, she thinks. He’s had everything given to him on a silver platter, he isn’t used to not getting what he wants. Well, he won’t have her. She was determined to break things off soon. She would have to, for the sake of her sanity. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life playing nice to the master of the house, she’d much rather lose her station. He made her suffer enough.

She pushed all that out of her mind. She had another face to put on for Tony Stark. Perhaps this time, he’d finally take her away. She could only hope.

Bucky watches Steve come out of the room after Venus, wiping at his face, checking to see if he’s gotten away with it again. Bucky was always amused at how careful Steve tried to be. But the man was a bull walking in a China Shop, nothing about his affair was careful. Nor was it a secret. Everyone in the house knew. Everyone hoped that it was a passing fancy, and that once Steve found the right girl he would forget all about Venus. Bucky was the only one that knew Steve was determined to marry her.

It wasn’t just the late night one sided talks the two had. It was the way she drew you in. Her dark brown eyes were round, innocent to the world’s horrors. They promised safety and comfort. Her hair was as soft as it looked, her lips were heaven…Bucky leans back against the wall, eyes closed, trying to get a hold of himself. He failed miserably at the task. All he could think about was Venus.

He liked her hands the most. They were rough from years of work, yet nowhere near as rough as the hands of a soldier. They added texture to her skin. He loved to feel her run the pads of her fingers down his back, even now, the ghost of feeling sends a shiver down his spine. At this, he wakes himself from his daydream. He tells himself its no good pining after her, she’s taken. But what can a man do when faced with such beauty?

He finally pushes himself off the wall and heads toward the study. He needed solitude. The study was the one place Steve had yet to seek him out. So far it had been his haven away from everyone. Everyone except- “Maria.” He says, not at all surprised to see her there, smiling at him mischievously. “Bucky,” She greets. “Running away from your problems again?” He refuses to answer her, choosing instead, to pluck a book off the wall.

“You do know that you aren’t going to get anywhere if you don’t tell dearest Steven about your feelings, don’t you?”

“Thank you Maria, that will be all.” She snickers and runs from the room, knowing when she’s not wanted.

Bucky sits heavily in a chair, cracking open the books. It’s not that he hadn’t tried to tell Steve about his own feelings for Venus, it’s just...he’s always been interrupted before he could get to the point. Even so, Maria was right, he needed to talk to Steve about it. It really was unacceptable to continue going on this way, pining after a woman he knew loved him as dearly as he did her. It would break Steve’s heart, but Bucky was sure he’d forgive him in the end. Besides, wasn’t Venus worth it? Beautiful, ethereal Venus? The one that comforted him in the middle of the night when the nightmares were too much? The one that always brightened his day? The one that made him smile and laugh? Venus, the only one that seemed to matter to him anymore.

Yes, it was decided. Bucky couldn’t live without her. He needed her, wanted her, had to have her. It would be easy, simple, all he had to do was tell Steve of his feelings, and Steve would back down. He nodded to himself, it was a solid plan. He would tell Steve tonight...he hoped.

Tony stood at the fireplace, not daring to look Venus in the eye. Venus herself sat on the couch, stiff and unmoving. It was always like this, always awkward. Tony dreamed of the day his own flesh and blood wouldn’t hate him. “You know this is hard for me,” He says, turning to her finally. “Keeping you here, seeing you a mere servant.” Venus simply looks at the Persian carpet beneath her feet. This had been a repeated conversation, he already knew her answers.

She wanted this all to change. She wanted her father to finally claim her, so she could get a proper education, and be a proper lady. Maybe then she’d find it within herself to reject Steve Rogers. Until then, she was at his mercy.

“You’re a Stark, you should have been brought up like one.”

“There really is no use looking back on all that now, is there?” She snaps, irritated with him already. She had somewhat of an affection for her father but more often than not, he irritated her. With is passionate rants about who she should be rather than who she was. Her station in life was his fault. If he had managed to keep it in his pants when he was a young man, rather than taking her mother to bed, she wouldn’t even exist, which was a far sight better than the situation she was in now. He is well aware of this fact.

Tony stops his rant in his tracks. “Look,” he says, straightening himself out. “I’m having a dinner party tomorrow. To show off my new collection from Egypt.” He slips the invitation from his chest pocket and hands it over to her. “You’re invited.” He interrupts her before he can speak, “I’ve already talked to Sara, she amiable to the idea. I’ll have provisions sent over for you tomorrow, along with your very own carriage. You’ll eat next to me” He looks at her, really looks at her and the beauty she’s become, “It will be as though we were a family.”

As though we were a family, she chews the words over in her mind. They could be a family now if he didn’t listen to that damned Obidiah Stane. The man wasn’t good for her father, never had been, but it seemed she was the only one that could see that. It didn’t matter, as long as that little bastard was alive, she and Tony would never be anything close to a family.

“Will you come?” he asks, as though she has a real choice in the matter. “I promise to be on my best behavior.” She says, giving him a rare smile. The tension melts from his shoulders. “I look forward to you being there.” He finally sits next to her, grabbing her shoulders in his hands. “There’s so much I want to share with you. So much you should know.” The statement seemed ominous to her. It helped her realize that he was planning on something.

It was then her real smile came out. He was planning on something disastrous, and she would be there to see it in all his glory. She takes his hands from her shoulders and holds them. “I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

#steve rogers #captain america #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #poisoned games #ofc

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katehuntington · 6 years

Text

How You & I Will Be - part five (finale)

Fandom: Supernatural Main characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (mentioned), Bobby Singer (mentioned) Pairing: Dean x Reader Serie summary: When a hellhound case in the mountains goes sideways, Dean and Y/N find themselves trapped in a small cabin, miles from civilization. A serious injury forces the two hunters to come to terms with their true feelings for each other. Rescue is on its way, but will it be in time? Part 5 warnings: angst, severe anxiety, nightmares, hallucinations, swearing, alcohol, description of blood and injury, possible character death. Some fluff. Music: ‘Lullabye’ by Billy Joel Word Count: 2154 words Author’s note: This is it, folks. The end of my mini series, and what a pleasure it was. Thank you @idreamofhazel and @littlegreenplasticsoldier for helping we work on this, you both are wonderful betas. Fair warning when you proceed: I managed to move them both to tears. @littlegreenplasticsoldier even made clear that I will have to hire someone to do my obit at my funeral, because I will have no friends left after this.

Find the ‘How You & I Will Be’ masterlist here!

It turns out Y/N has a little more time on her side than they initially thought. Not that she will be able to remember much, since she laid in Dean’s arms unconscious most of the time, but somehow the huntress has made it till sunrise. Despite her brave attempt, her condition deteriorates with every minute that passes. During the hallucinations, Dean pulled her into his lap, holding the girl he loves with everything he’s got, like he would comfort an infant. The acid trip-like dreams had her in confusion and all he could do to sooth her, cradling her gently, whispering sweet words and promises.

The nightmares seem to have passed now, setting in a new stage that is just as ominous. She has been unresponsive for quite a while, as if she has drifted off into a coma. It feels as if she’s slipping through his fingers like desert sand and there’s nothing he can do about it. Sometimes it takes over twenty seconds for her to breathe in again, which is only a weak gasp for air. Between those inhales Dean keeps her close to his chest, begging silently for her to take another breath, to stay a little longer.

Red ashes have turned into grey charcoal overnight, causing the temperature in the cabin to drop. Now Dean’s leather jacket is the only item that can provide her some warmth; even if there were wood left, he wouldn’t let her go to restart the fire. The storm has passed quickly and it wouldn’t surprise Dean if it was the work of that witch that owed Bobby. The rescue-team was supposed to start their climb at the break of dawn; they are probably well on their way, now that the first rays of sun peek over the ridge, watercoloring the sky with pink and purple. The mountaintop of Glacier Peak is outlined with gold that glows ever brighter as the sun comes up. It’s a beautiful sight, one that Dean enjoys intently, aware that these will be the final moments he’ll have with his girl.

When the sunshine spreads a warmth in the cabin, illuminating the fibers of dust that float in the air surrounding them, Y/N opens her eyes slightly without Dean noticing it. The scenery outside captivates her. The view looks more like a painting from Leonid Afremov than it would seem like reality, and for a second she wonders if she’s hallucinating again. But when she observes Dean, who admires the spectacular scenery as well, she guesses it’s nature’s way of saying goodbye.

“Well…” she rustles, words coming out raspy. “If that isn’t the most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen….”

Stunned, Dean looks down at her. He honestly didn’t expect her to ever open her eyes again, but here she is. A moment of clarity. God, it’s nice to hear the sound of her voice again, despite it not being more than a weak whisper. “Hey, you,” he returns, smiling down. She smiles back, glad to be able to gaze up into those depthless green eyes once more. He lovingly strokes some wayward hair from her forehead, and places a tender kiss on her skin. Embracing the moment, she closes her eyes and sighs as her grin reaches wider. When he pulls back and witnesses the satisfied expression on her face, he suddenly notices the difference; she’s made peace with her fate. It scares him deeply, he isn’t anywhere close to prepared for her coming death. “You wouldn’t be able to squeeze out a few more hours by any chance?” he pleads. “The rescue workers are on their way.” For a moment she opens her eyes again, clearly worn out by the fight for life. She swallows with difficulty and lets the air escape from her lips, finding it harder to inhale every time she does so. “I’m so tired, Dean….” Her voice fails, but he heard her. The hunter nods slowly, accepting the true message behind her words. The fight is over. She’s lowered her weapons. With difficulty, he gulps, trying to ignore the sharp, stabbing pain in his chest. After all, he has to be strong for her.

But she’s no fool; she can see right through it. Y/N knows how hurt he is, how he’s trying so hard to prevent himself from caving. She might be okay with the fact that her hour has struck, he can’t say the same. The thought of letting her go causes the tears to pool in his eyes. “Hey… It’s alright,” she tries to comfort him. He scoffs, amazed by her urge to care for him, even now. He manages a quivering breath. “I should be telling you that.” “I’m not the one who’s about to be left behind, am I?” she reminds him.

It’s a solid point. Who knows where she might drift off to. Heaven, the light, whatever one would want to believe. Dean will remain right here, on this spot of land without her. “What do you think is gonna happen next?” he wonders out loud. “Lights out and that’s it?” “Hell, no,” she chuckles, having found a little more spirit to strengthen her words. “It’s gonna be either Vegas or Hawaii. I haven’t decided yet.” Dean scoffs through the tears, imagining it for a moment. He hopes she’s right, it makes the idea of dying a little less terrifying. “Maybe my heaven will be driving down the road towards the sunset in the Impala, backseat to myself…” she continues on a serious note. “Maybe it’s this, this moment right here with you. This view.”

Dean follows her thousand-yard stare through the window that portrays the colorful picture outside. As the sun rises further, it casts an golden light over the snowy mountains, and Y/N takes a moment to count her blessings. Sure, she wishes she would’ve had more time, but it isn’t the worse way to go. The man she gave her heart to is holding her close and they got the chance to spend their final moments together. The man who told her: I love you. The man she told: I love you, too. It’s not that bad, actually. “Promise me something?” He turns to face her again, waiting for a follow up. Trying to speak, her voice hitches in her throat as breathing becomes more difficult. Her fragile state indicates it won’t take long now. “Promise you’ll let your friends and family help you. Promise you’ll talk to Sam. Don’t bottle it up this time, okay?” The pressure on Dean’s chest becomes so heavy that his airway constricts. He is able to keep a hold of her questioning gaze, though. “I promise,” he assures, choking up. “And no deals,” she continues. “I know you’ve been thinking it.” “Y/N -” But she won’t have it and interrupts his attempt to object instantly. “No, Dean. I don’t want you to get torn up by those hounds. If you make a deal, you’ll go to hell,” she pauses to catch her breath. “And where I’m going… It’s not a bad place.” Dean sighs after a moment’s consideration, trying to blink away his tears as he admits to her conditions with a nod. “Alright.”

She smiles slightly, glad to have his word and relieved that she got the message across. It remains quiet for a couple of minutes as her respiration slows down even further, taking down her pulse as well. Scared, Dean holds his love, watching her subside, further and further away from him. “Dean?” His name is barely audible, it’s more of a breath than her voice. “Yeah?” She forces her eyes open, taking in the hunter above her. For the first time since last night, tears stain her beautiful eyes. Dean knows exactly what she’s trying to capture, because he’s trying to accomplish the same. He takes her in, every feature, every perfect flaw. A few lost birthmarks that decorate her face and neck. That scar on her chin that she always tries to cover up with a scarf or the collar of her jacket. The slight frizz in the lock of hair that she cusses about whenever it’s rainy or windy. And damn, those eyes, those gorgeous eyes. “I-I think it’s time….” she stammers weak.

She’s might be okay with dying, that doesn’t mean that she isn’t scared of what lays ahead. Of course she’s terrified, who wouldn’t be scared of the unknown? Vampires, ghosts, demons; she faced them all. But with every single monster she came across, she knew a way to defeat them. Never, ever, did she show up for a fight unprepared. At the verge of battle she was armed with a weapon of choice, if it was silver, salt, dead man’s blood or the Colt. She knew her opponent, she did her research, she read the lore. But she can fantasize about casinos or white sandy beaches all she wants, the truth is that nothing can prepare anyone for what awaits on the other side. “It’s alright, Y/N. I’ve got you,” Dean comforts, pulling her even closer, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I’m right here. I won’t leave your side, I promise.” She cries against his chest silently, wheezing every time she tries to inhale. Dean’s heart is beating out of his chest as hers will stop any moment now. “Y-you know what my mom’s favorite song was… to sing to me?” she whispers, referring to their talk days ago, about music and songs sang by their mothers. “It was Lullabye... Billy Joel… She always sang Lullabye.” “It’s a good song,” Dean gets out with difficulty. “It is,” you smile into his shirt, before she softly whispers the first lines.

Goodnight, my angel Time to close your eyes And save these questions for another day

Dean joins in with her, cradling his dying girl to the rhythm of the song. The melody somehow makes it easier to pronounce the words.

I think I know what you've been asking me I think you know what I've been trying to say I promised I would never leave you, and you should always know Wherever you may go, no matter where you are I never will be far away

She lets Dean take over the vocals completely, listening to his emotional yet clear voice. It hushes her into a deep sleep from which she will never wake again. Slowly Y/N sinks further into the depths of unconsciousness. But she can still hear him, she can still hear Dean. Scientists have proved that the sense of hearing is the last one to perish when a person dies. Seems like they are right.

Goodnight, my angel Now it's time to sleep And still so many things I want to say Remember all the songs you sang for me When we went…

He stops mid-sentence, waiting for some kind of response from Y/N. A flinch, her chest rising, anything. But nothing happens. There’s no cloud of humid air coming from her lips, even the drum in her chest has stopped playing. When he lifts his chin off her head and loosens his grip on the woman in his arms slightly, he is able to behold the blank expression on her pretty face, eyes slightly opened, but her soul is gone.

“Y/N…?”

Shocked he stares at her as a lump obstructs his throat. A hole in his stomach grows larger when the harsh reality replaces his denial. Dean can’t prevent the tears from building up in his eyes and so he looks up, hoping that they won’t fall down, but they fall anyway. Unable to cope with the avalanche of sorrow that hits him like a freight train, his bottom lip starts to quiver and slowly he begins to move back and forth, mourning, as he presses her lifeless body against his.

He lost her. For a few moments she was his and now he’s lost her. He whispers her name in her hair, tells her he loves her once more and then again. God, he would give anything to see her react to those words, by throwing him that amazing smile. Softly he continues to sing the song. The earth turns and the sun shines its light on the both of them. His voice is shaking so badly that he has trouble getting anything out at all. Being able to hold and cradle her helps, and so he sets off again where her death caused him to pauze.

Remember all the songs you sang for me When we went sailing on an emerald bay And like a boat out on the ocean I'm rocking you to sleep The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart You'll always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone But lullabies go on and on They never die That's how you and I will be

The end, people. Thank you so much for reading my story. I appreciate every single one of you. If you would like to talk about this or if you need a grief-counselor, let me know. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Follow Forever: @angelsandwinchesters @atc74 @bandobsession98 @books-wands-swords-impalas @canadianspnhunter @chumi-la-chula @cookie-dough-lova @dillpicklesunflowerseed @hannahindie @heartsaved @hennessy0274-blog @hyperella @idreamofhazel @just-another-busy-fangirl @kathaswings @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @mrswhozeewhatsis @myheartbeatsjustforyou @rainqueen @sammyssupersmile @sheepdogs33456 @sofiadiaz04 @spiritofoblivion @spnimag @sunskittlex @supernatural-girl97 @super-not-naturall @susan-is-in-the-house @theyaremyveryownthoughts @trashforwinchesters @ultimatecin73 @unlikelygalaxygiver @uzum4k1-uch1h4 @vvishous @vxxn128 @winchesterxtwo

How You & I Will Be tag: @deanwnchstr @parkeret @professionalspnfangirl @tmiships4life

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yodawgiherd · 6 years

Text

Rocky road of intimacy

Rating: M

Read on AO3

That feeling when you just start writing one day and end up with 5k words of first-times between your two favorite dorks. Thanks to my beta reader who helped me sort this mess out!

Enjoy!

Mikasa always liked watching movies. Living with Levi, nothing was more relaxing than coming home and sitting down next to him on the old couch he owned, focusing on whatever was playing on the screen. The short exchanges they had, that was their way of communication.

“How was school? “

“Fine. How was work? “

“Good. “

“Nice. “

And that was all they needed.

Now while Eren also shared her passion for film, watching movies with him presented a new set of problems.

“Hey, I want to see this one. “

“What’s stopping you? “

Mikasa turned her head just enough to frown at him, but his smile didn’t waver. Neither did his hands which he sneaked under the hem of her shirt. Again. Sure, logically speaking, all she had to do was get off his lap and go sit somewhere else on the sofa, but that would mean losing his body heat and while she complained, to keep up her image of a pure girl, she did enjoy the gentle grope of his fingers. Giving him the most disapproving look she could muster at the moment, she turned back towards the screen. His resolve didn’t crumble however, and soon she could feel the slow advance as he dived back in. The tips of his fingers pressed into her midriff, tracing the outlines of her abs. For some reason, Eren was oddly fascinated with them. The movie they were supposed to be watching was good, she picked it herself, but her boyfriend seemed way more interested in pushing the neckline of her top as far as possible, so he can kiss a trail from her neck to her shoulder and back. Assaulted from multiple fronts, Mikasa’s resolve was slowly but surely fading away, but she held on, refusing to look back at him and his stupid sexy smile. She wouldn’t give in, not again, not after Eren already ruined the Lord of the Rings marathon, and they just ended up making out in the middle of Two towers. This time she would….what the hell was poking her in the ass? Eren wouldn’t be stupid enough to keep the remote on his lap, would he? But then she shifted her position, in an attempt to get comfortable again, and when he groaned behind her she finally connected the dots.

“Sorry, “, he murmured into the crook of her neck, “can’t really help it. “

“Maybe it wouldn’t happen if you’d just watch the damn movie, no? “

“That’s an interesting idea. “, he looked up, eyes sparkling, “but I’m not willing to try it. “

She sighed. Sometimes this guy was really a handful. But she had to admit that he was keeping his word. It was already a month since their second date, and he seemed completely content with taking it slow, just as he said. They kissed a lot, sure, and sometimes his hands wandered to places they’ve never been before, but that was it. To her own surprise, Mikasa found herself wanting more, wishing that he would actually squeeze her breasts instead of just skimming his fingers over them, or that he would sometimes dip his hand lower instead of keeping it above her waist. Before she realized what she was doing, she turned around, pushed him down and grabbed Eren’s wrists, pressing them to the couch as she straddled him.

“What’s this for? “, he asked, the lopsided grin she loved wide on his face.

“How am I supposed to focus when your stupid erection keeps digging into my butt? “

“Hey, its not stupid! Plus you are the reason I have one so…. Just deal with it? “

“Oh I’ll deal with it. “, Eren’s eyes widened as he felt Mikasa’s hand travel downwards, dipping her fingers under the hem of his sweats.

“Wait, what are you… Mikasa! “

“Shush. “

She was determined now. The look he had on his face when she pulled down his pants to free his hardness was priceless. And when Mikasa’s fingers curled around him, it got even better.

“Babe, you… are you sure? “, he managed to say over the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He wanted her, god knows he did, but he would never force her to do anything, not in his life. But this was her decision, her will, and most definitely her hand that just started stroking him, somehow managing to feel hundred times better than his own.

She didn’t respond. Instead, she pressed herself closer to him and took advantage of his opened mouth, pressing her tongue inside. The kiss was as messy as humanly possible, but neither of them cared. Mikasa loved this. It felt like she was holding the control stick to Eren’s body, any small movement she did getting a reaction out of him. When she twisted her wrist a bit, he moaned. When she pressed her thumb against the head, his eyes rolled back, and she could feel his body shuddering under her. He couldn’t even kiss her back as his head fell backwards against the sofa, and she could feel his hips moving into her palm on their own. She wanted to see it closer, just how much she was affecting him, so she dropped down between his legs, watching him pulse between her fingers. In retrospective, it wasn’t such a good idea. Eren tried to warn her, but she was just moving too fast, her hand going up and down at murderous tempo, while she kept her circling the most sensitive area with her thumb, sending his brain into overdrive.

“Mika…“, was all he managed.

She looked up, curious about what he wanted to say, and exactly at that moment he lost control. His hips jerked up for the last time and he came, his load landing on the nearest surface possible. Which just happened to be her face.

“Eren what the fuck! “, she straightened, horrified, not knowing what to do about the stuff that was coating her cheek. Even though the last shocks of his orgasm were still running through his body, he reached over to hand her a box of paper wipes, which she took while giving him a look that made him wonder just how long his remaining lifespan really is.

“I have some in my fucking hair, god damn it. “, she growled, religiously cleaning herself.

“I-I’m so sorry, I tried to say something, but you just….“, he shook his head, “ you are too much. “

While that statement secretly pleased her, it still didn’t change the fact that she had just taken a face full of him, and even with the wipes she wasn’t feeling exactly clean. Not to mention that she will probably have to cut her hair to get it out. She sighed again, feeling the anger slowly die down inside her. After all, was it really so bad?

“Miki, let me take care of this, “ he said, making her look at him with raised eyebrow.

“What do you mean? “

Eren was already standing up, pulling her along. “Let’s take a bath, I’ll clean you. “

She could feel her cheeks burning. They haven’t really… been naked with each other before, although shirts were often thrown off during their make out sessions. Fuck it, she thought to herself, and followed him to the bathroom, she legit just wanked him off. This wasn’t really that different was it?

For all the awkwardness she feared, this actually felt rather nice, Mikasa had to admit. The water was warm all around her, that combined with Eren’s own body heat pressed into her from behind created a very pleasant atmosphere. True to his word, he washed her hair, dragging his fingers through her silky black strands gently until she was satisfied and once again feeling clean enough to show her face to the outside world. Now they were just relaxing, with her frowning at him because he was hard again. Even with this complication however, she managed to find a place where it didn’t bother her enough to open her eyes, and just floated in the water, letting her brain slowly go over the fact that their relationship seemed to be taking leaps and bounds forward. And for some reason, she didn’t find herself minding it one bit. The fear and disgust she felt the first time they tried it just didn’t come, nothing forced her body to shake and her teeth to grit. It just felt…natural. What did make her open her eyes rather rapidly was the feeling of Eren’s hand creeping down, and not stopping. He made it past her waist and was coming dangerously close to her most private area.

“W-What are you doing? “, she asked, her voice shaky, but not from fear. Not this time.

“Well I just thought I might return the favor. “, he said, head on her shoulder as he watched the journey of his palm as if it wasn’t his own. “Do you want me to stop? “

She didn’t. Mikasa shook her head, and together they watched as he finally reached his destination. Eren started slow, first touching her on the outside, caressing her, eyes darting between her face and his hand to see how she would react. When he did push a finger inside, her mouth fell open and she moaned, sound he found downright adorable. Eren wanted more, wanted to feel her more and hear her more, wanted to see her cold demeanor crumble beneath his hands. So he kept moving, adding another finger and feeling the way her walls stretched around him. When his adventurous hand found a hard nub hidden between her folds, he pressed against it gently, and was surprised when her head fell back on his shoulder and the sound she made was the definition of hot.

“Is that good? “, he whispered into her ear.

“Y-Yeah, keep, keep touching that. “, Mikasa had her eyes closed and her features seemed to thaw with every passing second. Determined to see her come undone, Eren changed his hold a bit. The hand that was idle up until now creeped upwards and he took hold of one of her breasts, squeezing it and rolling the, not surprisingly, hard nipple between his fingers. In the same time, he changed the way he pleasured her, once again pushing two fingers in and curling them, and also rubbed his palm against the bud, moving in sync. Mikasa made no effort to be silent, her moans loud in the closed space of the bathroom, overshadowing any sound he could make with the way his fingers moved in and out of her. He could feel her nails as she scratched his nape, her hand pressing into the back of his neck, her hips rocking as she lost control over her body. He had to keep his own from thrusting into her back, because he was seriously way beyond turned on right now. Her moans, the feel of her, the knowledge that it’s him and no one else who’s making her look like the mess she was, that was…. Something else. But Eren managed to keep his cool, to a degree, and kept moving his hands just as she liked, dragging her closer and closer to the edge. When she came, it was with a breathy moan and she buried her face in his neck, breath fanning over his bare skin. Her inside muscles clamped down on his fingers, and just the mental image of how that would feel around his dick instead almost made him finish with her. Eren let her relax, withdrawing from her, and her breathing slowly returned into normal.

“Hey Miki? I love you, and I’m sorry for coming on your face. “

She just chuckled.

Birthday celebrations were never big in Mikasa’s life. Of course, back when she had her parents she used to have parties, with all the parade a young girl can wish for. But after coming to live with Levi, they just stopped happening. And honestly, she didn’t really mind, because birthdays are usually spent with your family, and she didn’t need another reminder that her grumpy older brother was her only remaining one. When Eren found out, it was bound to change.

“I can’t take this. “, she said, staring at the keys in her hand. She looked up to see him sitting on the other end of the sofa with his usual grin. “You can’t just gift me a motorbike. “

“I believe I just did. “, he shrugged, “Really, its not a big deal for me. Plus, I do remember you having a certain obsession with riding. “

Even when her ears were burning from the jab he took on the choice of words she had during their second date, she wasn’t about to back down so easily. “Look, just take it back. “ She thrusted the keys back at him, but all he did was cross his arms on his chest.

“Nope. “

“Come on! I don’t want to…“, she sighed, embarrassed.

“Don’t want to what? “, he asked, genuinely curious.

“I know that you are rich, but I don’t want you to be my…. Sugar daddy. “ There, she said it.

“Is that what this is about? Damn. “, he came closer, and lifted her chin, making her look at him. “I gave you this because I love you, and I know you have to carpool with Sasha anytime you need to get somewhere. So just take it, okay? “

“I’ll pay you back. “, she whispered, but when she kissed him they both knew that that promise is hollow.

“Come on. “, he said, standing up and pulling her to her feet, “Let me give you the other thing. “

“Wait, you bought something else? Eren I can’t…“

“Nah, “, he shook his head, the grin on his face not wavering, “I didn’t buy anything. “

Curious, she followed him until she realized that he was leading her to the bedroom. Mikasa felt her blood pounding in her ears at the sight of the bed, with covers removed as Eren clearly prepared it for something. Out of nowhere, she could feel her old insecurities creeping up her spine. Could she really do this? Was she ready? Eren seemed to notice her pause, because he turned around to face her.

“Eren… I don’t… I don’t think I can…“, Mikasa was honestly feeling like an asshole right now. How long were they together? Three months? And he was nothing short of an amazing boyfriend. They gave each other “a hand“ multiple times by now, so why was she feeling so scared all of a sudden? He looked on her and followed her gaze to the bed and then back, realization dawning on his face.

“Wait, no it’s not like that. “

She arched an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation what does a prepared bed and him leading her into it does really mean then.

“Look I don’t want… that, not now. I just want to…“,he scratched the back of his head, really hoping that there would be a better word for the activity, but he just couldn’t think of any. “I want to….eat you out. Would that be okay? “

Mikasa stared at him for a time, putting together one and one until it finally clicked, and she really wanted a hole to open and just swallow her right where she was standing.

“You want to do…what? “

“Oh come on, what’s the worst thing that can happen. “

What indeed, she wondered as he pulled her to the bed. Eren seemed determined however, popping her jeans open and pulling them down her legs.

“Could you take your shirt off? “, he asked, his face also red but the grin somehow still holding.

“Is that really necessary? “

“Well… not really…“, he shrugged, once again scratching the back of his head. God, she was really acting as such a bitch right now. And for no reason, he just wanted to make her feel good damn it.

“Sorry, I’m just nervous. “, she shot him an apologetic smile and tugged her black top over her head, discarding it on the floor. He rewarded her with a smile of his own as he kneeled between her legs, gently pulling them apart. When he reached for her panties, he did look up to her, waiting to see if she perhaps didn’t want him to continue, but Mikasa steeled herself and raised her hips, letting him expose her delicate bits. Eren actually licked his lips, as if he was getting ready to eat some meal, the pervert, but just as she was about to comment on that he dipped his head down, applying his strategy that sometimes its better to act than to talk.

Following some advice he found on the internet, he started with slow and wide licks at her center. Mikasa seemed to react well to that, and soon her breaths were uneven as she watched him, wide-eyed. When he deemed her prepared enough, he upped his game, wandering inside her with the tip of his tongue, testing and tasting. Her eyes were glued to his face, but he could see the effect he had on her in other movements of her body. Hand that flew down to his head, or the fingers that clutched to his hair. Normally, Mikasa would find all of this disgusting. After all, he really didn’t hold back, using not only his tongue but also his lips, creating a really weird sounds from time to time. But for some reason she couldn’t phantom, it felt pretty good. Eren had no experience whatsoever, but he was more than making up for it with his enthusiasm and willingness to please her. He watched her, constantly, identifying all the small moves she made to see just what she enjoyed the most, or what she didn’t like. She didn’t need to talk, Eren seemed to have no problem deciphering the language of her body. Soon Mikasa could feel the tightening in her abdomen, coming slowly but surely, pulling all of her muscles together, and while he could see that happening a few times already, now that his face was between her thighs he had the perfect opportunity to observe the way her abs stood out beneath her skin. She was babbling something, words that were in between “yes”, “Eren” and “don’t stop”, her head clouding. So Eren did exactly what she wanted from him and kept going. This time her finish was heralded by a scream that she muffled by biting into her forearm, and her thighs pressed into the sides of his face, making him wonder if she’ll actually crush his skull in her wild abandonment. Just as he was about to say his final prayers Mikasa regained the control over her body and released him from his wet prison. Eren thanked her for her mercy by kissing his way back up until he reached her lips, planting a gentle loving peck on them.

“You okay? “, he asked, smoothing the wild strands of hair that were covering about half of her face away from the world, “How did I do? “

“I’m…“, she swallowed, “I’m fine, that was….great. Thank you. “

He just grinned in the way that made her heart flutter.

“Happy birthday. “

She didn’t understand this. Mikasa watched her boyfriend as he lay with his hand in her lap, humming to himself, completely satisfied with the world. What was he planning?

“Oh damn, he went down on you already? “, Sasha laughed, shaking her head, when she told her the news about her love life yesterday, “You rock, girl. “

“Yea, it was pretty damn great. “, Mikasa picked at her food, biting her bottom lip, “I just…. Don’t know why he did it, that’s all. He got nothing out of it. “ She really couldn’t wrap her head around it. For her, it was all the pleasure she could ask for, but for him, it was only a drenched face and a massive hard-on they didn’t do anything about, because she was way too exhausted by his performance and he just seemed….content. He was weird, that’s what he was.

“He probably did it just so you will suck his dick in the future. “, Sasha picked out another piece of chocolate and put it in her mouth, “Guys are really into that. “

“I…what? “

“Suck his dick. “ Sasha looked up from her food, and when she saw the way Mikasa was stunned she pulled her eyebrows together, “What? Why are you so surprised? “

“No I mean…. I….“, so she was supposed to do …. That now? She pushed her plate away, the meal not looking exactly appetizing right now. Now that was something she was not looking forward to.

“It’s not that bad. “, Sasha reached out and patted her arm before picking up another piece of chocolate, “Just don’t forget to pull away if you don’t want to swallow. “

Right, that helped.

But Eren didn’t ask her to do anything. He didn’t even talk about it or indicated that he expected something in return for his services. The crowning moment came this morning, when out of nowhere he kissed her when they woke up, and before she realized what was happening he was back between her legs.

“I got classes soon but, “, pushing a finger beneath the elastic of her panties, he looked up with a grin, “I got time for breakfast before, you in? “

Her greedy body reacted before her mind could, and Mikasa’s hips raised on their own allowing him to pull the underwear down her legs and throw it away. And her brain, who was tackling the question what the hell was happening in a just woke up mode, was quickly silenced when he dipped down again, and his mouth went to work.

And now, after school, here he was, once again not indicating even a tiny bit that she was indebted to him and he expected a payback.

“What do you want? “, she blurted out, staring down at him.

“What do I want? “, he popped one eye open, “I want you to just sit there and look pretty for a few more minutes, “ he even had the audacity to grin, bastard, “your thighs are really comfortable. “

When she didn’t smile back but continued glaring at him like he just killed her cat, he sat up, confused. “Miki, what’s wrong? “, he asked.

“Don’t Miki me, pervert. “, she wanted to say something more, to lay it on him thick, but she had…nothing. What was she supposed to be mad on him about when he didn’t do anything? So she turned her back to him instead, folding her hands on his chest. Eren’s confusion was reaching levels never thought possible before. Pervert? There was only one perverted thing he did she could be mad about.

“Look… Did you want me to stop this morning? “, but she was just so damn loud, moaning her pleasure out, what did he do wrong? “I’m sorry, you looked like you enjoyed it…“

Oh she enjoyed it. She enjoyed it very much, because that smug scoundrel seemed to remember what she liked from the last time, and applied it rather skillfully, making his second time even better than the first. But that wasn’t the point. He only did it because he wanted his…thingy…sucked. Right?

“Hey…Babe…“, he finally gathered enough courage to put a hand on her shoulder, gently turning her until they were face to face again. “What did I do wrong? Talk to me, please. “

“Why did you do… what you did, this morning? “, she couldn’t look at him, so she watched her hands instead, “You didn’t….get anything for it. “

“I….Uhm… “ Wait what, THAT was the problem? “I did it because you liked it. And when you are happy, I am happy. “, he shook his head in disbelief, “I love you, I want you to feel good, what’s so hard to understand about it? “

When Mikasa looked up, she could see that he wasn’t lying. It was simple as that, really. Maybe…maybe Sasha was wrong after all. But seeing him like this, it made her question if it would really be so bad to do it for him. After all, she loved him too, no? Eren was still confused when she all but ripped his shirt off and pushed him back until he was lying down, kissing him vigorously, biting into his lips. She left him soon, however, and made her way down his throat, getting onto his chest.

“You should start going to the gym with me. “, she whispered into his skin, leaving black lipstick marks in her wake as she continued down. Eren didn’t look half bad, but his muscles could definitely use some shaping, they were nowhere as defined as hers.

“You know, I might just do that, “, he said as he watched her plant kisses over his stomach, but still sinking lower and lower. He had no idea what made her act like this, but he didn’t mind it at all.

When Mikasa looked up, and saw him looking at her, the fire in his eyes burning bright, she could feel her own cheeks coloring.

“Don’t stare. “

“Sorry. “

He didn’t look away. So she punished him by dragging her fingernails down his chest, making him hiss as the red marks stood out in between the black lipstick prints. There it was, the top of his sweatpants. Mikasa took a deep breath and pulled them down his legs mentally preparing herself. She could see it now, straining against the fabric of his boxers, clearly enjoying her actions so far. Eren must have noticed her hesitation, because she could feel his hand on her hair as he tilted her head to look at him.

“Miki, you don’t have to do this. “, he said, smiling at her, “You don’t have to do anything. “

But this, this pushed her over the edge. For some reason, Eren was so willing to do all the things for her, and just ignore his own needs. If that wasn’t love, she didn’t know what was.

“I want to. “, she said, returning his smile. “I’m sure. “

With that, she removed the last barrier standing between her and his erection, which sprung free right away. Mikasa began with something she knew, wrapping her fingers around him and stroking him, slowly. Wanting to get a taste of what was about to come, she pushed her face closer and licked him, from the bottom to the top. All right, maybe it wasn’t the meal of a century, but it was nowhere as bad as she expected it to be. Curious how it would feel like, she opened her mouth and took him in. Eren swore above her, the hand in her hair tightening. But he didn’t try moving it for her, he knew better than that. If Mikasa wanted to make him feel good, she’s going to do it at her own pace, no way around it. Her hair was getting in the way, damn thing, so she paused for a moment and fished out a hair tie, making a quick ponytail before going back down. It was a bit like eating a lollypop, she decided, using her tongue to trace the shape of him inside her. Mushroom, that’s what it resembled a bit. Back when he went down on her, he moved slow, taking his time, so she followed his example. Slowly, carefully, she mapped him, moving up and down at lingering pace, trying out different things. She could swallow around him, which made him moan, or lightly drag her teeth over the head, producing the same result. Her experiments went on for some time, with Eren feeling like he was dead and in heaven already, until she thought of another thing to try. Wanting to see just how deep she could take him, she dipped her head down and continued, lower and lower, until the head hit the back of her throat. Mikasa gagged, pulling her mouth from him and coughing, covering her lips with one hand. Okay, maybe that was a little bit too deep. But the small setback did nothing to discourage her, and before Eren could babble something, most likely to apologize even though it was entirely her doing, she delved back in.

He was close. The release was burning inside him, and while he did his best to hold it back, there was only so much he could do. “Miki… I’m going to…. I can’t….“, he pulled at her hair to emphasize his point, but she didn’t pull away. Instead he could feel that she swallowed around him, hollowing her cheeks, and pumped the rest with fervor. Overwhelmed, he came, and she took it all, not pulling away until he was completely done and oversensitive, begging her to stop.

“So how did I do? “, she asked, not able to keep herself from laughing when she saw how wrecked he was. He actually had tears in the corners of his eyes, mixing with the sheen of sweat that coated his exposed skin. In the end, it was pretty okay, but seeing him like this, that made it completely and utterly worth. Eren didn’t seem to care much for talking, as he pulled her to him and kissed her on her swollen lips instead, relaying his response by a physical way of things.

When they finally crossed the last line, it was on no special occasion, or planned or anything. It just sorts of… happened. They were together for six months back then, with the last three filled with an endless competition about who is better at giving oral. The movie was playing on the background again, but neither of them cared. Both their shirts and her bra were lying on the floor already, black over white, and the only time their mouths parted was when the need of air was just too great to ignore. But when Eren kissed the tops of her breast and tried moving lower, she stopped him.

“I… want to go all the way. Tonight. “, she said, her gaze expectant as she watched him take the information in.

“Okay…“, was all he said for a time, as he sat back on his heels, “but I don’t have a condom. “

“Oh, right. “

“Yea…“

But Mikasa was determined, and when she was, there was nothing that could stop her. Standing up, she left the room and invaded Sasha’s privacy, going through her things until she found a box she was looking for, shamelessly stealing one of the packages and going back to her boyfriend. She held it up with a smile, but when she moved her hand to rip it open it was Eren who stopped her.

“Look, let’s be honest. “, he looked a bit embarrassed, but kept talking, “I won’t last. This will be my first time and you…. You are simply too much. “

She shrugged. “So what? “

“So let me go down on you first. “, he winked at her, “I meant it when I said I want us both to enjoy it as much as we can. “

Defeated by his sound logic, she led him to the bedroom and lay down on the bed, finding a comfortable position as he put her legs on his shoulders. He made her feel good all right, so good that she was sure the whole dorm heard her. When she finished, and they got over the problem of actually putting the condom on, which took them about five minutes, because they couldn’t stop laughing for some reason, he kissed her and once again covered her body as they found themselves in the same position as six months prior. Same, but oh so different at the same time. For starters, they were both completely naked, and when she traced her hands down his body she could feel the subtle changes the three months of gym-going with her caused. Eren was certainly a bit more toned. There was no fear in her, no disgust. She didn’t even think about looking away, more than happy to sink her teeth into his bottom lip. And yes, there was some discomfort when he first entered her, but it quickly dissipated and ebbed away, replaced by the feeling of being full of him. She drew her pleasure on his back with her nails, bit it into his neck, marking him as hers. Eren was very happy that he took care of her needs first, both because the added wetness helped him slide inside her, but also because he could feel his finish approaching at an alarming rate, very sure that she was nowhere as close as he was. She was so tight and warm around him, it felt like nothing he ever experienced so far, and easily topped the charts. He couldn’t fight this, not this time, so he surrendered to the flow, thrusting at a steady rate until he spilled inside the rubber.

When their breathing calmed, and he discarded the used condom into the thrash, they just lay in bed, bodies tangled together, not minding the sweat that cooled down on them.

“Eren, “, she found her voice, tracing the lovebites she left on him with the tip of her finger. “I’m so happy that we took it slow. “

“You are worth it, “ , he said, pressing his forehead to hers, looking deep into her eyes. “Thousand times over. “

And if this was not love, then neither of them knew what was.

#eremika #fanfic #snk #aot #smut #first time #shingeki no kyojin #modern au

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