#i am worried for my sanity but i think the answer is yes

[chronic-cynic]

Guys, do I re-enter my BSD era?

[literaila]

hey v ! what about peter and reader getting ready to go somewhere and after reader puts on some red lipstick peter can't stop kissing her ?

lipstick

warnings: ugh, peter

*

“how many times have you done that?”

peter is standing behind you, leaning against the wall, probably ruining your focus, or your makeup, or your sanity. he’s probably staring just to mess with you.

you refrain from smiling in the mirror. wipe a smudge with your nail. “i don’t know, peter,” you meet his eyes, and his nefarious smirk. “how many times have you watched me do it?”

“i got lost somewhere around the first time.”

you laugh at him, crumbling the napkin you’ve been using, now filled with kiss marks, and turning it around so you can throw it at peter. “are you sick?” you ask him.

instead of answering, he licks his lip and unfolds the napkin, staring at the red marks, creases and tireless efforts arranged in a messy pattern. “this is like art.”

“why are you acting like you’ve never seen anyone wear lipstick before?”

“what?” he asks, hand to his chest. “i cant watch you get ready? i’m banned from being in the bathroom when you are?”

“yes, and yes.”

it does not escape your notice when peter tucks the napkin into his pocket for safekeeping.

he shrugs. “i don’t mind breaking the rules.”

you scoff at him and pat his shoulder as you walk past him through the doorway. “i would’ve locked you out if i knew you were going to be weird about it.”

“weird? how am i being weird?”

“you were lurking. you’re still lurking.”

“i’m talking to my girlfriend. that’s part of our contract.”

“you’re following me.”

peter smiles. “well, i like you.”

you roll your eyes, almost—almost—smiling when you feel his arms wrap around your waist. “please don’t make me argue about your stalker like tendencies.”

“we don’t have to argue,” peter says, kissing the space beneath your ear. his breath is hot.

“i need to put my shoes on, peter.”

he smiles, his teeth clashing against your skin like a dreadful reminder. some type of jumpscare—minus the fact that you merely lean into him, sans jumping. “we can spare fifteen minutes.”

“how can you be thinking about anything besides the fact that we’re already late to meet may?”

he nibbles on the skin by your collarbone, then licks it, as reprieve. “it must be the lipstick.”

“you’ve literally seen me with lipstick before. i wore some on our first date.”

“‘s probably why i like it so much.”

his lips are needy as they crawl around your skin. his hands are stationary, but they pose their own threat as they lurk.

“peter, we have to go.”

“i’m not known for my punctuality,” he spins you around, his lips curled in mischief, “you know.”

“i’m aware.”

you refuse to indulge him. your brows furrow, your hands held in the air—just so you can avoid accidentally touching him. purposefully.

“then why are you so worried?” peter asks, kissing your cheek.

“i’m not kissing you,” you say, instead of answering.

“you’re not?” peter pouts like a child. he is far too grown.

“no.”

“how come?”

you try to pull away from him, but, shockingly, peter is stronger than you are. your will is weak. “you’re going to smudge my lipstick. i just finished.”

“you have more, don’t you?”

“not the point.”

“what?” he asks, his voice so serious and teasing. “you don’t want to kiss me?”

“no, i do not.”

you look away from him, admiring a wall that has always been there.

“are you sure?” peter asks, ducking so he can catch your eyes again, because he is nothing if not cruel.

you break, pouting. “peter,” you whine, “we’re not going to be late again.”

“i think we are.”

“you can kiss me when we get home later,” you promise, trying again to wiggle out of his grasp.

“that is a terrible compromise.”

“you won’t compromise,” you snap back. “what else am i supposed to do?”

peter grins, tilting his head. “okay. i have an idea. how about i kiss you, and then we leave? you don’t even have to kiss back, even though we’d both prefer it that way.”

“i’ll kiss you,” you mock him. “you’re the worst negotiator i’ve ever met.”

“then how come we haven’t left yet?”

you scowl at him, and he scowls back, but his eyes are alight.

your skin is ravenous with an ache to touch him, he’s so close that kissing him would be nothing—merely breathing, really—but you don’t want to lose this game to peter. and you dont want him to stop looking at you.

he pretends to check a watch. “hmm, it’s getting awfully late.”

“are you british all of the sudden?”

peter grins, biting his lip before he tries to bite you. you lean away. “if you like my accent, all you have to do is say so.”

“i like it when you get out of my way, and stop trying to sabotage me. i like that a lot.”

“no clue what you mean, dear.”

you roll your eyes and manage to cross your arms in his hold.

“i wonder how we could solve this,” peter muses, tapping his finger on your waist. “it’s a big problem.”

“i could leave you behind and have lunch with may myself.”

“that’s one option.”

you roll your eyes again.

“i was thinking something else, though,” peter says, and he’s closer now, but you’re sure that you never saw him move. “something more… proactive.”

“shove it, peter.”

“you don’t even want to hear it?”

you sigh, leaning your chest into him, out of pure delusion. “fine. what?”

peter smiles at you, eyes catching eyes.

the look on his face is soft, delirious. he’s got that look in his eyes, and that smile on his face, and he’s still staring at you like he’s mesmerized by whatever you’re doing.

“what?” you repeat, but softly, like you can’t find your voice in the chest cavity peters taken hold of.

“kiss me,” he says, softly, and it’s really not your fault that his lips are already brushing yours.

and it’s not your fault when you lean in, sighing in relief at the mere feel of him.

you’re almost breathless, from the tiniest of kisses.

but then you kiss peter again, and again, and your hands finally wrap around him—keeping hold of something real in this fake reality—and your voice isn’t your own when you groan at peter for making you do this.

you have evacuated your body. you have lost common sense.

but it doesn’t matter, because kissing peter has always made you forget all of that.

and it still does, when he pulls back, grinning like he’s won. “see?” he says, voice ragged. “it was simple.”

“we’re going to be late and it’s your fault.”

peter laughs, kissing you again, staring at your red lips. “gladly. i’ll take all the blame.”

“and you’re making it up to me later.”

“whatever you say,” he murmurs, thumb brushing your bottom lip.

he releases you and watches as you finally put on your shoes.

you don’t think it necessary to mention the red marks on his lips. it’s not like it’s your fault they’re there.

*

[lexlovergirl]

ྀCross ྀ

Farleigh x fem (Christian/virgin)reader

Tw: smut, unprotected sex, fingers sucking, mostly the foreplay, reader wears a cross but this isn’t in mocking Christianisme it’s just something I thought about don’t be mean 😭 I’m not being disrespectful towards any religions,

You and Farleigh were dating for a few weeks now, you guys haven’t gotten further then making out and dry humping. You were a virgin and you wanted to take your time with him.

Farleigh waited for you, he wants you to feel safe around him and won’t force you to do anything.

But tonight felt different, you were ready. Once again you guys yourself on your bed, you were on Farleighs lap,arms wrapped around his neck. Farleigh has his hands all over you, they roamed from your back to your butt, squeezing every time he’s there.

You pull away to breathe a little and look at the beautiful boy in front of you. Your hands move to cup his cheek, stroking gently. Smiling softly you give him that look that tells him everything, all you wanna do with him.

His eyes widened slightly as he understood. “Are you sure” he asks with low voice. Your only response is a small nod. Farleighs smile grew bigger with your answer.

With your consent given, he grab the back of your thighs are sit you on the bed as he got up to stand in front of you.

A hint of nervousness washes over your body as your fingers comes to play with the cross on your necklace as a reflex. Farleigh takes notice of that movement and the way you’re also biting your lip. He couldn’t help but to think how beautiful you look, the way you are looking up to him and while you bit your lip, it was something straight out of a movie.

“Are you nervous…?” He ask with a small smirk on his face. “A little” you shyly reply. “A little?… is it because we’re about to do something you’re not prepared for” he says half teasing and half worried.

“I am prepared” you say trying as hard as you can to sound confident. His smirk grew larger he wanted to you to be officially his, he wanted to steal that innocence of yours. “How about you take my necklace off? I don’t think there’s place for Jesus in the room right now”

As you say that his eyes go down to your necklace. “Right…. I can see what you’re implying here” he says in his teasing tone as he moves his hands to slowly take the jewelry off.

You watch him slowly take it off, the little cross reminding you of your sins. You felt the necklace come off, his teasing had cause your mind to wonder to your sins. But that didn’t matter to him, what matters is that the necklace is now off.

The necklace now in his hand, your own hand place itself on your collarbone, tracing your fingers over the spot it used to be. He also takes notes on that movement and also the fact that you are tilting your head and biting your lip. Something about that was driving him wild in your beauty.

He then puts the necklace in his pocket, seeing the look on your face he place a few words to reassure you. “I’ll keep that has a souvenir, I’ll get you a new one” your response was only a nod as you feel his hand come up to your collarbone.

Your hand met his and you play with his fingers. They were now being moved and traced as you play with them. That go his attention as the gesture felt so amazing and so right to him. A smile replaced easily his smirk.

“I love your fingers” you say soft as you bring them up to kiss them. He was a big fan of what’s happening even more when your kisses get sloppy. That got him more into it; the way you were so messy with it. You were driving him past sanity.

You focus more on his pointer and middle finger almost sucking the tip. Those fingers you were kissing, were his favourites at the moment after seeing the way your lips were in them. “Can i?” You ask of a soft voice.

There was a pause and he finally nods his head in a yes to your question. You take those two fingers in your mouth, lightly sucking, showing submission to him.

“God damn” he moans, Farleigh haven’t been that turn on in so long, your submission was something that was doing it for him.

You kept sucking and sometimes twirling your wet tongue around his fingers. You are doing an amazing job at being his good girl, your boyfriend was very pleased with the way you are around him.

Unfortunately you pull away from his soak fingers , a groan leaving his lips. “You like that” you ask a fake look of innocence on your face, you are no saint and he knows that. “You know I love that” he responds looking down at his now saliva coated digit.

“You know how to please a guy, don’t you?” He ask with a familiar smirk. And your reply is perfect, almost heavily. “I know how to please you” that made his smirk widened. “And that’s all that I really care about… right?” He says in his teasing manner.

“Yea” you whisper softly as you kneel on the bed to unbutton his shirt placing a kiss at each button. Your voice, when you talked made his body tremble. His shirt came off so you can stare at his body…his fit body…the way the muscles on his arms showed…the smooth skin that was once hidden from you.

You take a minute to admire his body but your gaze go back to his face, it always were your favourite part about him. His breath was heavier when you looked at his body. You staring at him like this makes everything feel all more real.

You offer him small smile before placing a kiss on his lower stomach. He takes this as a signal to unbuckle his belt, throwing it in the floor. Farleigh is excited, he’s waited for this moment for so long, even before y’all got together. It was finally happening.

On your side you are still a little nervous but Farleigh guides you and he will continue to do so. “It’s okay, baby, take your time” he reassures you stroking your cheek gently as you un zip his jeans. As much as he wanted to take you now he wanted you to be comfortable and safe.

Farleigh takes off his pants completely leaving him half-naked. He smiles at you a tilt his head to indicate what’s next and assuring you it’s all gonna be fine. So you lay down the bed like he told you too. All sort of feelings in you but you trust him with them.

It’s a matter of seconds before you feel his hand undoing your pants. Once they’re thrown on the floor he takes a good look at you. You notice his boner becoming more evident. You know how you make him feel, he wants you all to himself for the night and the next ones.

His eyes burns through you. As if he tries to remember all the smallest details about you. He acts as if he’ll never see you like that again but you both know it’s not true; it’s only the beginning. “So beautiful” he mumbles leaning down to press a kiss on your stomach.

Your panties were matching your bra, all pink and all pretty, all for him. Pink was a colour attractive to him, he loved the way it looked innocent in a context that had non of it. But they’re in the way…

Before you can even tell him to go on, he takes your underwear off. He admires your pussy, it was so perfect and it was his. But you’re soon to close your thighs embarrassed, seeing this reaction Farleigh places his hand on your knees in a comforting way.

“Do you really want this” the boy asks. You’re quick to nod your head but he wait for verbal consent and makes that clear by giving you a certain look. “Yes, I want this, Farleigh” you whimper almost getting impatient with the pace of the events.

“Good girl” he says opening your legs. It was like heaven for him, you spread open on the bed as you just look up to him with a needy stare. Farleigh then kneels between your legs, his big hands making your thighs look small as he rubs them.

You watch me get closer and closer to your heat. It was something so sensual and lustful. He looks at you in a way no one else did before, he feels so attracted to you like a magnet you dawn him.

“After that your all mine get it?” He says slightly harsh, seeing how beautiful you look he wants that sight for him and only him. It was selfish and possessive maybe a little bit toxic but he didn’t care you are his forever.

“Yes, I’m all yours” you say desperately. Farleigh only chuckle he love seeing you that way, admitting that he’ll be the only one to see that perfect body of yours. He tried to act confident but Farleighs stomach is flipping the sight of your body made him feel all types of way.

“I wanna see those beautiful tits” Farleighs voice pierced through the air, he always love your breast. He could fuck them but he is going to fuck your pussy first, he didn’t want to be that selfish. You unclamp your bra as you knew he wouldn’t be capable. The second you do, Farleigh takes it off you throwing across the room.

You let out a small chuckle at your boyfriends behaviour. “By the way you act it looks like you want to fuck my boobs” you roll your eyes playfully but realize your boyfriends face turns red. You make the maths and laugh. “Seriously, Farleigh?” You ask but that makes him groan. “Stop” he whines burring his face in your chest, leaving kisses there.

His kisses trail up to your neck, making dark marks on it. He never cared if the hickey were visible or no, he cared about making you wet by it. To test that his fingers find their place on your folds. He was right, he always were, you are soaking wet. The contact make you gasp and as soon as you make the sound his leave your cunt.

Of course Farleigh wants you to get pleasured but now it’s his dick or nothing. His painfully hard dick, you almost felt bad at the sight. Your gaze was down looking at his covered cock, only you weren’t nervous. You feel excited and needy. You want him so bad and he feels it.

Following your gaze, Farleigh chuckles shaking his head before he takes off his boxer, now both of you naked. You gaze doesn’t move still looking at him. Butterflies intensify in your stomach, from the sight and the sudden feeling of his warm hand on your breast.

“You ready?” The curly headed boy ask running his tip on your entrance, wanting you to be prepared. Your response was quick and simple “yes” and it was all it took him to push himself slowly in, he took his time stretching you out. He doesn’t want to hurt you, he wants you to be pleasured.

You moan at the feeling, it hurts but a good type of hurting. You feel him twitching inside of you as he waits for you to be adjust to his size. A nod of your head and he begins to trust inside of you.

Farleigh keeps a slowly pace, he wouldn’t want to overwhelm you. You closed your eyes, enjoying the sound of both of your moans. You knew Farleigh was a vocal man, just not to that point. But for him it’s was heaven, your cunt was so tight around him, clenching when he hits that spot. It is impossible for him not to moan and whimper not when the pussy is so good.

“One rule when you fuck me,…” Farleigh says in in between breaths and moans “eyes on me” he say this time harshly , you open up your eyes meting with a beautiful view; your boyfriend, mouth wide open, his swollen lips, sweat rolling down his forehead and his curls out of place. “Good girl” he whimpers.

He went a little deeper into you, hitting that spot over and over again. Your moans get louder and louder, his also. You are both reaching your climaxes, looking for that blizz of pleasure. “Far-Farleigh… i can’t”you whimper while scratching you nails down his back and that one little move makes his dick twitch.

“I know baby, you’re being so good right now” He praises you, his tone soft. “Come for me baby, I know you can” Farleigh adds as he cups your cheek to wipe the little tears you didn’t notice had fallen.

His mouth connects with your breast, kissing each one of them multiple times. And your gone,with such a little action he got you into pure euphoria. You moan loudly it makes Farleigh look up, a soft smirk forming on his lips.

You come down a minute later, Farleighs cock still trusting in you as he soon reaches his end too. “You can cum inside” you say, your thighs shaking form the overstimulation. “Fuckk..” he moans as he finally cums inside of you.

When he pulls out you both whine, everything that has happened was just so good. He was so delicate with you, sometimes you realize he’s only done with you, a warm feeling of validation forming in your chest.

The moment Farleigh is laying beside you, you take it as a invitation to curl yourself against him. That makes him a little surprise but he gladly wrap his arms around you. His fingers are tracing forms on your bare back. “I love you” he mumbles after a while. “I love you too” your response was immediate, no need to think about it.

It was surely the best first time ever and did I mention first “I love you” too?

ྀིྀི ྀིྀི ྀིྀི

[yuurivoice]

Im so sorry but is Al's hair naturally black or pink?? I feel like the obvious answer is black but if I remember correctly (again, could be wrong) when jackie drew his dilfy designs his roots were pink. I just dont wanna assume error 🙏

The psychic damage I am taking from these questions is immeasurable and we're going to hit a point where I'm either going to just not answer certain things or I'll end up imploding. 😂

In the beginning...I just wanted a pink haired fuckin guy. I was using anime logic. His hair was pink. There was no thought beyond that because he's a two-dimensional fictional lad. It simply was.

Then came the questions. God. The questions.

Does he dye his hair? Why are his eyebrows black? Is his natural hair color black?

Those were dark times.

BitterSweet Chapter 3 created an opportunity for Dark Mode Alphonse, and we established that yes.....his natural hair color is black.

Today I was asked the pedantic question about Al's body hair...which just about took me out, but we made it through.

Now this.

Bubba his hair looks that way because I thought it fuckin looked cool. The rules of real hair, what his natural hair color is, and any other such business can suck my cock. He is a 2D dilf designed to look as fuckable as possible...why in the name of GOD are we worrying about his natural hair color?

Mind you, we have canonically seen black haired childhood Alphonse in photos twice. Two different pictures, even! 😂

Is there some boogeyman out there heckling people for being "wrong" about things like natural hair color? Is someone wagging their finger or being a shit about accuracy in depictions in fanart or something? Because it sure as hell is not me, and it shouldn't be anyone at all because none of that shit actually matters.

Yes his natural hair color is black. He's got pink highlights I guess? It looks cool, so that's why it is what it is.

I think there is a fundamental difference in the way I personally engage with shit that I like, because I cannot comprehend or envision a world where I would ever approach the creator of a thing to ask a question like this, or would even wonder about those details because they are so miniscule a thing to ponder when you could be spending time considering, imagining, creating a million other things that are vastly more exciting and intriguing than being correct about a fictional character's natural hair color.

I'm not upset with you, or angry, none of that. I'm befuddled. Absolutely bumfizzled. Questioning my sanity, because I am so far removed from caring about this sort of thing in regards to fictional characters that the rift is unfathomable.

If questions like these are inspired by an anxiety about being correct, I implore you to be wrong more often. You'll quickly find that no one of import is actually going to care, and you'll get out of the way of your own enjoyment of the thing. I don't know if there's some sort of widely held opinion in fandoms that being this granular is necessary, but it certainly is not the vibe in this neck of the woods.

This has been a long and unexpected installment of Old Man Yells At Cloud. 😂

[tanadrin]

I've been using a spreadsheet to do sanity checks on Pr's astrophysics--it doesn't have to be exact (I'm not going to try to solve equations of state for neutron stars or anything like that), but I want to be at least in the right ballpark. And that means not fudging the intensity of a magnetar's magnetic field by 10 orders of magnitude, which is so far out of the ballpark we've started playing a different game altogether

If the magnetic field around Ast isn't produced by the star itself, or is only partially produced by the star itself--if it is produced in, say, an accretion disk close to the star (in this case extending out to about 150,000 km or more)--then the magnetic field doesn't need to be nearly as intense; it could actually be quite moderate. You'd need a hell of a lot of current moving through the accretion disk, but only the disk as a whole, and the exact mechanics of this would depend on the magnetohydrodynamics of an accretion disk around a neutron star.

Which I am comfortable saying that--at least in the configuration Ast presents--is not likely to be a natural phenomenon. But Pr is, of course, artificial; my concern isn't whether such a system could form in the first place, but whether it could remain stable for ten million years or so, and I think it could.

Accretion disk lifetime depends on the luminosity of the disk and its mass; the approximation I'm using here is from a physics stackexchange answer about accretion disks around black holes, and I'm assuming that they hold roughly for accretion disks around neutron stars; the neutron star's magnetic field would distort the inner part of the disk as it fell onto the star's surface; the real question is whether the gravity of the neutron star would be enough to keep the disk from being evaporated by its radiation, and the answer here seems clearly to be yes: after all, planets are known around neutron stars, and they take quite some time to form.

Ast also has to remain quite hot throughout its lifetime, but this is actually not something I'm too worried about--for Plot reasons, it's actually getting hotter over time, which, yes, neutron stars generally shouldn't be able to do.

[sgiandubh]

I was wondering if anyone else had this same fear as mine? I’m not sure it’s really a fear but I think there are going to be sex scenes in Sam’s upcoming project and who knows maybe Cait as well.

Is it crazy to feel uneasy, fearful, nervous or any of those emotions about watching Sam or Cait do sex scenes with people other than each other? I know it’s their job if the script has these scenes but maybe I’m worried that what I see on screen with them in their sex scenes with each other and how special it is isn’t as special as I think?

It’s probably an irrational fear and no it’s not the only reason or even the reason why I am a shipper. Their chemistry on screen sent me down the rabbit hole and it was really what has happened off screen that made me a shipper.

Sorry I think I rambled quite a bit there but you seem to welcoming and friendly and most importantly rationale.

Dear Uneasy Anon,

Let the woman in the audience who was NOT even mildly - how can I put it elegantly - ehrm.. unsettled by The Reckoning cast the first stone at your question and my answer.

*crickets*

I thought so.

I remember my stupefaction on a balmy late August night (not unlike this one) when I watched these scenes for the very first time. Shouted like a crazy woman at 4 AM something along the lines of OH, DEAR ME, WHAT THE HELL (literally: what the mother of all devils, told you that being a native speaker of obscure idioms is infinite fun)? And then immediately hit rewind, questioning my sanity and grateful I was under the radar.

I had never seen anything like this on a screen, let alone in what I thought to be a whachamacallit divertimento (Sam, who? Caitríona, who?). And chemistry is a paltry, almost sorry term to describe sexual attraction, in their case: these two were not blocking anything, and I do not mean it in a lewd way, but in an emotional one. A much more serious affair than a, heh, hydraulic incident while having to put up with carpet burns.

What we saw there were two people very much attracted to each other and yes, clearly in the early stages of falling deep and hard in love with each other. And I do not mean Jamie and Claire, here, for I have never made the confusion. Let's not be hypocrites: what consistently happened on and off-screen, in the Season 1- Season 3 interval, despite all the hurdles and the shitshow, is a real story on the constant brink of taking over the performance side of things. So much so, that at some point I almost completely blocked the characters and had to re-watch, for the sake of keeping up with that neglected storyline: it was embarrassing, but in a good way.

That was not acting, dear Uneasy Anon, and bless his heart, he repeatedly spilled the tea about it. Knowing that and having experienced that Mach3 impact yourself, I doubt you would feel uneasy by S/C shooting formulaic sex scenes with other people. An example: When the Starlight Ends. I howled in my popcorn. That is to say that particular movie was a doomed project. That is also to say: you'll know how 'not special at all' that is, when you watch it.

So, in a nutshell, I can only offer you this answer, along with the hope that it makes sense or helps you somewhat: you may feel uneasy because you know how rare and fragile that is and also because you are probably afraid of breaking that spell. But you immediately tell me that it is their off-screen shenanigans that made you a part of our rank and file: what you call fear is nothing else but maybe a bit of projection and certainly a deep fascination. You are desperately normal, dear Anon. Last but not least, remember FDR: the only thing to fear is Fear itself. Go ahead. Watch those with an honest eye. I guarantee there will be absolutely nothing to write home about.

This, however (emphatically NOT The Reckoning). This always punches me in the damn gut. This is better than Mantegna's Saint Sebastian. Objectification, schmobjectification:

[wholesomefluffdaddy]

Wednesday's new court mandated therapist is having her keep a journal of her thoughts and feelings. Wednesday finds this to be a complete waste of time and decides instead to use it to record her observations of her unusual roommate Enid Sinclair. Wednesday POV.

——————————————

Entry 15

Current Moon Phase: Third Quarter 🌗

I fear that my love for Enid has only driven me further into the depths of madness. I tried explaining this to my therapist but she seemed oddly fixated on the fact that I confessed my love for Enid. There were many unnecessary clarifying questions following my proclamation. ‘You are saying that you love her more than packmates?’ Yes. ‘That you love her romantically?’ Yes. ‘And you understand that you love her romantically?’ Yes. ‘You acknowledge and accept that you are in love with her and not in a platonic way?’ Yes. She appeared to be in a state of disbelief. I reaffirmed that I love Enid romantically, sexually, intellectually, emotionally and any other way there is; and that it’s driving me insane.

My thoughts of her are all consuming. When we are together I think of her, when we are apart I think of her, even when I am asleep I think of her. I desire nothing more than to see her smile. My mind hyper fixates on finding ways to achieve this goal. I almost constantly feel sexual arousal when we are in physical contact and even sometimes when we are not. I have died numerous times beneath the werewolf’s tone and sculpted body and often wonder if I haven’t merely become a spector; yet the madness craves ever more.

With my therapist being most unhelpful I was faced with the horrifying prospect of turning to the only other I knew who also suffers from such all consuming thoughts of their lover. My father seemed rather taken aback when I contacted him via the crystal ball. It physically pained me to share my affliction. I can at least take solace in the fact that my mother wasn’t around to hear my confession. Father took a moment to compose his thoughts before responding to my plea.

‘But little viper… What is there to be fixed?’ He asked slowly.

‘Is this a jest?’ I said, narrowing my eyes. ‘I clearly stated that I am losing my sanity to- to this loba magnífica.’ My mind began to wander simply by mentioning her.

‘What Addams would desire sanity?’ He posited with a sigh. I shook my head to clear it.

‘This is not how I intended to lose my mind.’ I argued.

‘Ah, but as an Addams we have little to no choice in the matter once such an affliction has struck us.’ He said cryptically.

‘What do you mean?’ I said frowning. ‘What affliction?’ It was at that moment I saw my mother enter the room.

‘Afflictions you say?’ She asked as she joined father at his side.

‘It is of no importance to you, mother.’ I stated. She raised an eyebrow before sharing a look with father.

‘Our little storm cloud is finally suffering the ‘family curse’.’ He said solemnly, yet I caught him wink. Mother could barely conceal her smirk.

‘How terrible.’ She said, caressing father’s cheek.

‘Family curse? Elaborate.’ I demanded as I crossed my arms. I had no time for their tomfoolery.

‘I’m afraid it’s irremediable.’ Father said seriously. My eyes widened in horror.

‘I don’t understand…’ I whispered.

‘This curse has been in our family for generations-‘ He began.

‘Then why am I just now learning of it?’ I said with some indignation. They shared another look.

‘To be fair, we worried you wouldn’t inherit it.’ Mother answered. Before I could speak, father proceeded to explain.

‘The Addams curse, our curse, is that once our soul has found its one true mate we become inexorably bonded to them. It is a bond so deeply tied to our very being that we would simply perish if unable to express our love. Our souls become so utterly tangled with theirs that if they die they pull our soul with. No Addams has ever survived a second longer than that of their lover’s.’

‘Impossible.’ I said with disbelief. ‘That would contradict Grandmama’s continued existence.’ I pointed out. Father let out a heavy sigh.

‘Mi madre y padre, your abuelos, loved each other very much but they were not soulmates.’ He explained delicately. ‘The curse only affects those who’ve found your soulmate.’ I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.

‘So how do I know if I have contracted this terminal affliction?’ I asked.

‘Mon cher…’ Mother took over. ‘Two souls that have loved so deeply and fought so passionately to find each other time and time again have a very powerful reaction to one another. They carry pieces of each other’s past lives and lend each other immense strength once reunited. This reunion is impossible not to notice.’ I opened my eyes again and allowed them to wander the room. After a moment or two of thought I responded.

‘How can I be certain-‘ I began but Mother interrupted sharply.

‘Wednesday, how much stronger have your visions grown since rooming with Enid?’ I felt my blood rush to my face.

‘I did not inform you of who-!’ But once again she cut me off.

‘And when was it that Enid completed her first complete transformation under the full moon?’ Mother continued vehemently. ‘Did you not find it suspicious how you both became stronger within each other’s presence?’ I had no words to counter her. I frowned and tried to rationalize another plausible explanation.

‘It’s natural to-‘ I tried but it was evidently no use.

‘Would you prefer to live the rest of your life without Enid by your side? Or perhaps to see her take another as her lover?’ Mother asked. I was temporarily struck dumb by such callous questions. I pounded my fist against the desk as I rediscovered my voice.

‘How dare you insinuate-!’ I was too incensed to speak. ‘I love her!’

‘That much is obvious, mon cher.’ Mother said as her face softened.

‘So Enid is my soulmate and thus I am suffering from a familial generational curse.’ I summarized for clarity. Father nodded. ‘How do I regain my sanity?’ I demanded.

‘You don’t.’ Father said rather cheerfully. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to remain patient.

‘Is it truly so wonderfully dreadful?’ Mother asked. I blinked.

‘My only thoughts are of her, or how to please her, or gain her affection, or-‘ I trailed off. They did not need to know the full depths of depravity I had sunk. ‘It makes it most difficult to focus on other things.’ I concluded. Father nodded knowingly.

‘Ah, well, that improves with time and when you learn to reframe things.’ He said reassuringly. I looked away. This call had been incredibly unhelpful. I bid my parents farewell and got up from my desk to pace as my thoughts wandered back to my packmate turned lover.

‘Willa!’ I heard the most melodious voice call. My body became weak as if her voice was a poison. My heart joined in the madness as it raced with excitement. Enid had returned to our dorm and was holding something behind her back.

‘Mi amor.’ I couldn’t help but utter in relief. I strode towards her at once to share our customary greeting. The feeling of her lips against mine was like a powerful narcotic. My brain had evidently rewired itself to provide an overwhelming rush of dopamine anytime I was in contact with her. The kiss broke and Enid caressed my cheek with her free hand.

‘Guess what day it is?’ She asked with an eager grin.

‘Thursday.’ I said promptly. ‘Or were you wanting the numerical day of the month?’ Enid stared at me.

‘Uh, no.’ She said with a slight giggle.

‘Is it a nondenominational holiday?’ I asked, glancing at the calendar.

‘I guess you could call it that.’ She responded as she slowly pushed me back towards her bed. My pupils dilated. All thoughts fled my mind like a flock of startled birds. Enid clearly wished to be amorous and I would surely receive the honor of dying beneath her once more. She bit her lip as she watched me shiver in anticipation. The back of my legs hit her bed and I fell backwards onto it.

‘Do you give up?’ She asked with a grin.

‘I will gladly submit to you, mi loba.’ I said breathlessly. I could feel my cheeks burn at such a shameful confession. Enid’s face flushed pink though she unmistakably looked pleased.

‘Oh! Um!’ She awkwardly revealed a bouquet of black roses from behind her back. ‘It’s almost our one month anniversary.’ She informed me as she held out the bouquet. I propped myself up to accept the offering. I was surprised to see a mix of not only roses but simple thorny stems as well.

‘I didn’t know what you’d like so I got both. Well, I mean, they don’t sell just like the stems so I cut the flowers off of some of them. B-because when I visited your house last summer I saw the headless roses everywhere and-‘ She trailed off, twisting her hands nervously. ‘Do you like them?’

Fortunately, I was well versed in Floriography. Roses, their meaning being a declaration of love, passion, and romance. Black roses, meaning death or great change. Barren stems… If there is a meaning it eluded me. Perhaps the number of stems was some sort of clue? 11 roses with their heads and 13 without. 11 signifying that she considers me her greatest treasure. 13 signifying eternal friendship.

Enid was clearly trying to send a message but what was she trying to say with this arrangement? I had limited time to ponder the possibilities as she awaited my answer. Love, death, passion, treasure, change, romance, and friendship. I tried to put the pieces of the message together by rationalizing each symbol. There had certainly been a great change between us and I had died countless times beneath her superlatively magnificent body. She had reciprocated my declaration of love, passion was certainly not a scarcity, and there were moments of romance. Friendship… perhaps the beheaded roses were meant to symbolize the death or change in our relationship from mere friends / packmates to lovers. That seemed the most plausible. Finally, and most clearly, she considered me her greatest treasure… I set the roses and stems aside and took her hands in my own.

‘Amor.’ I began. ‘Mi amor.’ I amended. ‘I adore them and I adore you. I too consider you to be my greatest treasure.’ I pressed my lips to her hands. ‘But I am afraid I have been most uncouth and brought you no such gift. However, should you provide me mercy for my faux paus I promise you I shall return the gesture tenfold.’ I looked up into the werewolf’s eyes pleading for her forgiveness.

‘Aw, Wednes…’ She sniffed as her eyes began to water. The grin spreading across her face eased my worry that I had offended her. She sat down beside me and pulled one of her hands free to play with one of my braids. I held my breath as her fingers trailed down it.

‘Hey, could I um, ask you something?’ She said, biting her lip.

‘Anything.’ I replied at once.

‘Would you uh, maybe, consider undoing your braids?’ She asked sheepishly. I blinked. ‘You don’t have to!’ She said quickly, raising her hands. ‘I just haven’t seen you with your hair down and I-‘ Her words died as I began to undo the left and then the right.

A mix between a soft whine and a grow rose from her lips. I caught her eyes and saw something wild and untamed lurking behind them.

‘Is this satisfactory?’ I asked. ‘It is truly the least I could do.’ A clawed hand reached out in response.

‘Willa.’ Enid snarled like a starving animal as she ran her fingers through it. She crawled onto my lap facing me as she buried her face in my hair. While she was preoccupied inhaling my scent I began unbuttoning my shirt. I wanted to feel as much of her against my skin as possible when she inevitably dominated we were amorous. I slid off the garment and cast it aside. Without thought, my hands slipped behind my back to unclasp my brassiere. I hesitated and my head was suddenly pulled into Enid’s bosom.

‘Willa.’ Enid purred as she stroked my head with one hand as the other ventured down my body. I wrapped my arms around mi amor and inhaled her familiar scent. I could feel my intelligence draining as I melted into her.

‘W-Willa?’ Enid paused as her hands explored my exposed skin. She pulled back to look down at my semi-nude form. ‘Wednesday.’ She started huffing as she released me and frantically began unbuttoning her own shirt. She slipped off my lap as she struggled to remove her clothing. I became numbly aware that my hands were pulling down my skirt. The wild look behind Enid’s eyes only intensified as I soon sat before her in nothing but my undergarments.

My mind rapidly degraded as the werewolf pounced upon me and held me in her clutches once more. Our bodies soon became tangled to the point of becoming one singular mass. Claws dug into my flesh and a set of powerful jaws clamped down on my neck. I remember guiding the werewolf’s hands to most intimate places as I pleaded for her touch. Only a thin veil of fabric separated my werewolf from me. As she initiated the heavy petting at my request I felt myself slip into carnal desires I did not know myself capable of.

After recovering from the numerous deaths I suffered at Enid’s very capable hands my higher thinking returned to me. I still felt rather doltish and fought to stay conscious. However, exhaustion lay upon me like a heavy blanket or perhaps like a very satisfied werewolf, pulling me towards slumber. I was keenly aware of the many bruises and contusions that littered my body as I shifted. A mixture of blood and sweat was causing me to stick to the bedsheets.

‘Amor…’ I panted.

‘Wednes…’ Her response radiated with warmth. I inhaled sharply as her hands delicately ran over my skin. I could hear her quiet whine of concern. My eyelids continued to droop. I let them fall but for a moment. However, much seemed to happen in that brief moment. As I came to I felt Enid gently and deliberately pressing her lips to each and every superficial wound. I peered around blearily and noticed several colorful patches adorning my skin. I frowned and rubbed my eyes. Enid had evidently bandaged me while I was unconscious. While I did not care for the lurid pastel colors I appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

‘How are you feeling?’ Enid asked as she ran a hand through my unkempt hair.

‘Like I have been mauled by the most beautiful and formidable werewolf I have ever known.’ I said with contentment as my eyelids drooped once more.

‘Is that? Is that a good thing? I-I promise I can be more gentle!’ She said quickly.

‘Cara mia, please do not deprive me of such pleasures.’ I said as I propped myself up and pulled her into another customary greeting. As my lips left hers I fell back upon the bed. ‘Mi amor.’ I whispered as sleep fought to take me once more. ‘Te quiero con toda mi alma.’ Those haunting cerulean eyes were the last thing I saw before my heavy eyelids closed like the curtains upon a stage. ‘Voy a soñar contigo.’ I felt the werewolf pull me into her arms and cuddle me close before I slipped into unconsciousness.

[paingoes]

Destroyer is afk

(Masterlist)

another sherbet colored update. i really love simulating internet speech in writing i think its so fun

(Content: death mention, past trauma, self loathing, comfort??)

=======================

no posts in a month its over

they got him omg </3

Did indy fucking die?

RIP INDY

ndhakdvsnnd: can you guys stop saying that im dead  ndhakdvsnnd: also no more leaks until further notice. stop asking.

sunspot: Hey you don’t have to talk to us if you don’t want to but can you please give us some indication you’re still alive? 

sunspot: We’re really worried.

katkittykat: omg look at this video :3

katkittykat: have u ever seen a shark move like that in all ur life that shit is so crazy

katkittykat: hey where have u been lololol

katkittykat: are u mad at me :c

katkittykat: if its somethin i did can we talk abt it ??? 

katkittykat: okk ur making me nervous 

katkittykat: OH SHIT UR BACK

katkittykat: WTF

ndhakdvsnnd: hey sorry 

katkittykat: bro where did u go!!!! D:

ndhakdvsnnd: had to travel somewhere i couldnt bring my laptop

katkittykat: im rlly glad ur ok! 

ndhakdvsnnd: do you want me to send you the next batch

katkittykat: uhh yea only if ur up to it. whenever ur ready :3c

ndhakdvsnnd: i can do it now

katkittykat: ty sweetness

katkittykat: sunny wants u to answer him lol hes having an aneurysm xD

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

ndhakdvsnnd: hi

sunspot: Hey! 

ndhakdvsnnd: kitty said you wanted to talk to me

sunspot: Yes I wanted to know if you were okay because we hadn’t heard from you in a while

ndhakdvsnnd: obviously

sunspot: ?

sunspot: Why is that obvious?

ndhakdvsnnd: how would i be typing if i wasnt okay

sunspot: That doesn’t even make sense ?

sunspot: I assumed if you were offline for a month it was because you were either upset or in danger

ndhakdvsnnd: maybe i just have a day job to worry about

sunspot: In that case it would’ve been nice to receive some kind of warning so we wouldnt think you were hurt 

ndhakdvsnnd: i didnt have time

sunspot: You didn’t have time to type one sentence?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay im sorry

sunspot: Look I’m not trying to lecture you Im just saying we were concerned and I wanted to make sure you were alright.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

sunspot: Everything’s really okay then? Nothing happened?

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont want to talk about it

sunspot: Alright.

sunspot: You know we care about you right?

ndhakdvsnnd: i didnt send a warning because i didnt know i was leaving until the last minute i didnt go by choice

ndhakdvsnnd: thanks for attacking me over it as soon as i got back though 

sunspot: Does it seem like I’m attacking you? 

ndhakdvsnnd: yes kind of

sunspot: I’m sorry then. I didn’t mean to.

ndhakdvsnnd: okay

sunspot: Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?

ndhakdvsnnd: i am just sad okay i am already getting yelled at all the time  i dont need to get it from you too 

ndhakdvsnnd: sorry this is stupid ill shut up

sunspot: No it’s okay! If you’re upset you can tell me that’s what I was messaging you about in the first place I had the feeling something was wrong

ndhakdvsnnd: are you sure

sunspot: Yes positive

ndhakdvsnnd: i just dont like feeling like everyone is disappointed or mad at me all the time i dont know 

ndhakdvsnnd: it would be one thing if i deserved it but i dont know i have been really really trying lately and it doesnt work and it makes me feel bad

ndhakdvsnnd: but i kind of deserve to feel bad so i dont know 

ndhakdvsnnd: im tired

sunspot: Why do you think you deserve to feel bad?

ndhakdvsnnd: a lot of reasons 

sunspot: I don’t think you deserve it.

ndhakdvsnnd: you dont know me though

ndhakdvsnnd: you wouldnt like me if you knew me 

sunspot: Well what I do know about you now is that you are risking your life and sanity to provide us information to help people.

sunspot: Just based on that I don’t think you deserve to feel so bad about yourself.

sunspot: I think the people you’re around are probably really hard on you and its affecting the way you see yourself.

ndhakdvsnnd: im sorry

sunspot: Why are you saying that?

ndhakdvsnnd: i dont know

ndhakdvsnnd: is it okay if i go to bed now 

sunspot: Goodnight! We can talk later if you’re up for it?

ndhakdvsnnd: okay gn

[hellomisst]

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes: Lucy Gray Testing Coryo After Leaving the Cabin

I watched TBOSAS this weekend and, yes, I have been planning to read the book. Actually, I am reading the book already.

But I really can't get it out of my mind. This "theory". Someone else might have already thought of it but...

Spoilers beyond this line.

It might be that Lucy Gray was testing Coryo when she left the cabin saying she'll get some katniss. She had been very suspicious when Coryo said he killed three people, when Lucy Gray only knows two. At that point, she already knows that he was lying... and she said that trust is important to her. When Coryo saw the guns while looking for fishing rods, he acted extremely creepily. I think it was at that point when Lucy Gray decided to run away.

But the thing is if she really wanted to run away, she had enough lead time for her not to be seen nor caught by Coryo even when he realized she was gone for too long and decided to go look for her. She even had time to set up a trap with the scarf and snake. When Coryo was shouting for her, she was there. The only time she realized that she really had to run away was when he started to have a meltdown and lose his mind/ sanity... or the last of his goodness.

I think what she was testing was his genuine goodness; if she can really trust him with her life or not. When Coryo decided to look for her, his initial thought and feeling was that she left him and betrayed him. He did not think that she might have been caught by the mayor or peacekeepers or just the government in general (if this was in the book, I'm not at that part yet). He did not think that she might have fallen into a trap or a hole or that she was caught by an animal. All he thought of was that he was found out and that Lucy Gray turned her back on him, when it was he who turned his back on her. I think that if he reacted differently, if he showed more concern about her wellbeing rather than his own, if he genuinely cared for her, Lucy Gray might have revealed herself saying that she had a hard time looking for a katniss that was ready to be picked and that he did not need to worry. And that her scarf had fallen when the rain swept it away and that they should look for it, but to be careful because there might be snakes somewhere.

But no. Coryo panicked and took a gun with him. He kept shouting accusations at her, kept revealing his own guilt, kept being aggressive. When he could not get an answer, when he realized he cannot own nor control her, he raged. He did say that they can talk about it, fix it, if he said or did something wrong; but his actions, tone, and gun showed the exact opposite: he was not going to trust her and that he might (will) kill her, Lucy Gray, the loose end he hoped to tame and control for the sake of love... but couldn't. All these and his raining of bullets showed Lucy Gray that she was mistaken in hoping that Coryo genuinely cared for her. All these showed that he was and will continue to be selfish and manipulative for his ambitions. The evidence was already there: Sejanus, his "brother", dead because of him and his ambitions to reign over Capitol and the whole of Panem. Which is why she ran and was (almost?) shot by Coryo. And why she sang The Hanging Tree to stir up the mockingjays and cover for her.

But then again, we really don't know what happened. The story was told in Coriolanus Snow's perspective, and for all we know, he might have been delirious that time. Maybe Lucy Gray Baird was already gone and it was some forest creature that he shot. Maybe he imagined The Hanging Tree. Maybe she was really shot but just got away and died on the way up north. Maybe she was really shot but was only grazed, so she still got away on time.

Either way, the ambiguity is amazing. There are tons of heroic tales, especially of women, that were erased from the records of history or were really not recorded for fear that they might inspire uprisings against the ruling class. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes portray this perfectly, and why and how it happens... and The Hunger Games trilogy show what happens long after history was tried to be remade, but then marks of the past remain to see the downfall of an abusive and oppressive power.

[mixelation]

FAQs

Housekeeping post! Last updated 9 November 2024.

General:

Who is Tori?

My OC! Check out her masterpost.

Do you have a tags masterpost?

I'm working on it. :)

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I've been telling people to call me Mixel, but some people call me Mix. I use she/they.

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I am not good at remembering to tag things. In general, if you following a blog requires certain things to be tagged, I wouldn't recommend following this blog.

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I don't answer even close to every ask I get. It's nothing personal! Sometimes I don't have time or energy, sometimes I just don't have opinions on the thing, and sometimes I mean to answer later and then forget and then it gets buried. Sometimes this happens even if I've specifically asked for people to send me stuff via an ask meme. Sometimes I don't answer even when I really want to for various reasons.

I want to talk to you about the thing you just reblogged!

Most of the art/fandom posts (like gifsets, original art, etc) are on a queue and I don't actually know what things post and when. If you do not contextualize the post you are referring to, it's likely I will have no idea what you're talking about.

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Please don't send me recommendations unless I have specifically asked for them.

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Also: please do not send me posts with zero context. I cannot read your mind and I don't like not knowing what you expect me to do with the post (reblog it, talk to you about, etc). Yes, even if you think the context is obvious. You do not need many words to contextualize a post.

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No, but relevant to being a fandom blog: I am a bonafide adult, and my view on shipping and other fandom activities is basically "I have no right to judge what fictional scenarios other people enjoy or want to explore, regardless of my personal feelings on them." If either of those things make you uncomfortable, go ahead and block me.

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For fics, absolutely not. Do not repost any of my creative story writing, fanfic or original fic.

For generic tumblr posts, I am wary of giving permission to repost any sort of content on another site. I can’t stop you reposting screen caps of my posts, and I’m not going to hunt them down or (publicly) complain about screen caps of my post on other sites. But if you come to me actually asking for permission.... the answer is no.

Fandom and fics:

I came here to find the Plasticity AUs and what I found confuses and frightens me.

Not to worry! I made a masterpost.

Why did you change your user name?

Here's a post about it. Most relevant notes form that post: 1. Don't refer to me by my old user name, even on other sites. 2. If you find an old tumblr link that's broken, you can replace my old user name with "mixelation" and it will work again!

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I have a permissions statement on my AO3 profile. I try to keep this up-to-date as my feelings on how my work is used evolves.

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Yes, but please explain that's what you're doing. Please don't send me context-less posts. I cannot read your mind through the internet.

I might retract permission for this if I start getting a ton, just for my own sanity. But so far it's been fine.

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Most people have been sending them by asks, but you can also post them to your own blog and @ me, or else comment on the fic itself or send me a link via tumblr asks. Give me a few days to interact before following up.

When are you going to update _____? Is _____ abandoned?

I have a busy life and what fic I work on in my free time is controlled by the whims of my brain. There's no schedule and I am unlikely to be able to give you an estimate. I will tag a fic as abandoned on AO3 if I decide there's no way it will ever get updated. For some fics for which I get this a lot:

Homemade Dynamite - I actually have about 95% of chapter 13 written. Chapter 12, however, is only like half written and I have a pretty big block on it. :(

Fun and Games - I do hope to continue this one, and I have a decent chunk of the next chapter written, plus notes + an outline for the rest of the fic. Unfortunately, to keep writing it, I have to do a decent amount of research on HP canon, and certain recent events have really soured my motivation to interact with that canon.

I found a fic I think you would like!

Please see my answer about recommendations. Don't send them unless I've asked, no matter how good you think it is.

Can you give ME a fic recommendation?

Probably not. I don't have time/energy to read a lot nowadays, and I don't tend to bookmark or save fics I do read. I don't mind sharing if I've mentioned a specific fic, but I feel bad when people ask for recs and I literally don't have anything.

[fauville]

fandom: the wayhaven chronicles rating: general pairing: nate sewell/female detective (charlie langford)

i'm so embarrassed because of how self indulgent this fic is, but people wanted me to post it soooooo. i think about dad!nate a lot, so maybe i will write more about it at some point!

★ ★ ★

Charlie is frowning at the inadequate selection of apples at the marketplace, her hand resting on her belly over her chiffon summer dress when she hears Nate calling her name in the crowd.

She turns around with an exasperated sigh, a half-smile on her face and scans the mass of people for her husband, but Nate must be somewhere further in the crowd, because she can't see his towering frame anywhere near her. But he will find her soon enough.

She left him at the book stall where he was distracted enough for her to slip away for a moment. She intendented to go back to him before he noticed her disappearance, but she got hungry and left to find a snack at the food section of the market.

The owner of the fruit stall is glaring at her, so Charlie quickly points out the most juicy looking apple and pays for it, before Nate appears from the crowd with a worried frown on his brow.

For a moment Charlie just stares at him; she will never get used to how attractive he is and they've known each other for three years. His hair is tied up in a knot and he's wearing a pure white t-shirt and jean shorts. He kind of looks like a dad.

Which is lucky because he will be one soon.

“Charlotte!” Nate says, when he reaches her and immediately pulls her into a loving hug. “You're alright.”

Charlie can't help the snort that she lets out. “Yes, I am. I'm not lying dead in a ditch somewhere, don't you worry, dearest.”

Nate scowls. “Don't even joke about that,” he says and lays a protective hand on her stomach.

Charlie chuckles and covers Nate's hand with her own, patting it reassuringly. “I was gone for ten minutes,” she says gently.

“Fifteen,” Nate huffs and shakes his head. “That’s fifteen too many.”

“I'm pretty sure we're safe enough at the moment,” Charlie points out, when Nate bends down to kiss her forehead, cradling her closer to him.

“Maybe,” Nate admits a little reluctantly. He takes Charlie's hands to his own, rubbing a thumb against her knuckle. “But I would still prefer you would remain close by.”

“You know I can take care of myself,” Charlie reminds him, but her tone comes out mostly fond instead of firm like she attempted. This is a conversation they’ve had for countless of times in the last six months, but so far nothing has changed.

Nate starts leading her away from the crowd and Charlie bites into the apple she bought earlier. It’s dry and sour and she grimaces after the first taste.

“I know,” Nate says, so softly Charlie can barely hear it through all the noise around them. “But I can't help but worry.”

He stops walking and spins around to look at her properly and takes her hands, the bitten apple rolling from her hand on to the stone paving. There's something in his gaze Charlie can’t read. Something desperate and insurmountable.

“You're carrying my child,” he says. “Our child. That means I can barely think beyond the worry I constantly feel when you're not near. I'm so afraid of losing you both that it's almost making me lose my sanity and all reason.”

Charlie swallows. She can feel her eyes starting to water. Damn pregnancy hormones. “Nate…”

“I know,” Nate murmurs before she can open her mouth, smiling softly down at her, pressing a kiss to their linked hands. “I will work on it. I promise.”

Charlie nods, something inside her chest soaring. “Thank you,” she answers, because she knows that Nate means it and that’s enough for her.

Then she looks sadly at the dropped apple on the ground. It may have been dry and sour, but she’s still hungry like… well, a woman who’s eating for two.

“I'm hungry,” Charlie says and Nate laughs so loudly a few people close to them flinch and give him the dirty eye. He throws them a sheepish smile and gets a few starstruck looks back, which makes Charlie roll her eyes affectionately.

“Let's go home, ya rouhi,” he replies, guiding her towards the car. “I'll cook.”

[so-many-fandoms-here]

(English isn’t my first language so feel free to correct any mistake you notice.)

• Characters: Suguru Niragi, fem!Reader

• Genre: angst, fluff

• Warnings: violence, reader losing her mind, Niragi is kinda ooc

Angst Prompts - #5

꧁ ✾✿❀ ꧂ ✾✿❀ ꧁ ✾✿❀ ꧂

When Niragi and I got stuck in Borderland I quickly knew that a lot of things will change. Because if they didn’t, we’d die. No hard feelings, no remorse, no empathy. If you want to survive you need to be okay with killing the others. It was hard at first but after a while I kind of got used to it, because I wanted to live.

Niragi on the other hand didn’t just got used to it - he straight up enjoyed it. He enjoyed being in charge of other people, scaring other people and killing them. I could see all the anger he has hidden inside broke out of him when he realized there will be no consequences for his actions. He would make the others feel the pain he had to suffer, not caring that it wasn’t their fault that he got bullied by those scumbags.

For the first time in his life he was the one in charge. He was the one they feared and no one dared to even look at him in a wrong way. I was okay with it at first because it meant that no one dared to look at me in a wrong way too. As Niragis girlfriend I had the privilege of safety around The Beach so I tried to ignore his actions as best as I could and hoped that if we manage to go home again, he would be the same again.

But the more time passed, the more violent he got and with every game we played he seemed to lose a little bit more of his sanity. It was heartbreaking to see what the guys back in school did to his mental health.

The guy, once so gentle with me, was now a total freak. Yes back in the real world he was a freak too. A freak in the sheets and hella snappy but now he is this kind of freak you see in a true crime documentary.

The day when Aguni became the leader was the first and only time I addressed his behavior.

„You heard that Aguni got promoted?“, he asks without a hello when he bursted in the room, closing the door loudly behind him. „That means I am the new number 2.“

Even when his hands snuck to my hip I continued to stare out the window, not reacting to him. „Don’t you think we need to celebrate this?“ His hot tongue touched the shell of my ear and right after his teeth started to knibble on said skin. I just brushed him off, moving away. „What’s wrong babe?“

„How many people were it today?“ I asked after I turned around and pointed with my chin to his gun. Niragi cocked his head to the side and looked at me confused. „How many did you threaten with this thing? Or hurt? Killed?“

His gaze got softer and he placed the gun against the wall. „Are you scared of me?“ Slowly he put his hands in the air, like I was a cop. „No!“, I answer quickly, but started to re-think it. Sometimes I feel like staying out of his way, when he is like that. „Sometimes. A little bit.“

I can see in his eyes that this has hit him. He looked hurt, almost devastated. „Why?“, he asked, lost on words.

With a quiet sigh I sat down on the bed and thought about the right words. „You‘ve killed and hurt so many people“, I start, my voice barely louder than a whisper. „You get your way, no matter what. If the card theory is true and only one can leave…“ Quickly I turn my head to blink the tears away that started to burn in my eyes. I have forbidden myself to think about this scenario and even now I just can’t seem to put my worries in words. „What will happen with us?“

When I looked back up Niragi is kneeling in front of me with a shattered expression on his face. „I will kill myself before I let you behind.“

He seemed conflicted, not knowing if he could touch me. He chose not to and so he stayed in front of me with his hands on his knees.

„I just don’t know what to think anymore“, I admit. „I still love you, and sometimes I hate myself for it.“

We‘re both quiet for a couple of minutes, needing time to realize and accept what I just said, then Niragi raised his voice again. „I know I get carried away easily but think of it that way: the more people that are scared of me and the more people I kill, the less will be a threat to us.“ I don’t want to, but I understand his point. It makes sense and the way he said it, it even calmed me a bit down.

„I am in charge“, he continued. „I am the one with the gun, I am the right hand of our new boss and I am the one that will blow away everyone’s brains if you tell me to. We’re in a world without moral codes. Let’s make the best out of it.“

I don’t know what or how but something inside me switched that day. Niragis motives suddenly seemed more reasonable to me. Maybe I am going insane too but I don’t mind as much as I did in the beginning.

[authorofthemoon]

Alright I wanna catalogue all my thoughts on Persona 3 Reload but it's gonna start with an info dump. I rescued Fuuka and about halfway though the revenge website arc. So first done teammate thoughts.

I think the protagonist is pretty boring I just feels like he's less present than Yu and Ren. All his answers are either boring, polite, or really mean. Not a lot of opportunities to be a silly goose at least so far. I get the feeling he's meant to be a little emo and possibly apathetic to others due to the game's themes.

Junpei is cool, really silly goofy guy. Sucks he falls victim to Persona idiot guy syndrome and is kinda treated poorly by everyone and is kinda perverted. It's not insane but it's their.

Honestly love Takebe so much. She is such a normal person and it's so refreshing. And I mean normal normal like she is trying her fucking best even though she's kinda lame (affectionate) at times. Like the Ace Defective line made me laugh solely because of her pause beforehand like she tried so hard. And her random beef with Kirijo is so good. It's probably explained later but day one she did not get a good vibe from her and is constantly like 'Idk she gives me the ick' is so funny to me.

Speaking of Kirijo. Love her. Queen shit. Mother. Actual group mom. She's trying her best and again she's so funny. Her thinking that someone broke into Junpei's room when he's simply a slob is peak to me. She is THE Empress.

Akihiko. We love a good gym bro himbo. Him and Shinji have messy exes energy. Not much to him yet honestly but I'm excited to know more.

Same with Fuuka she seems really cool. Normal shy girl character but I'm sure we get a lot more depth with her social link.

Speaking of which social link rundown.

Kenji had me questioning my sanity bc why am I so supportive of this guy getting groomed? I can say it's a bad idea to ask out your teacher but I can never be like 'hey, she's a pedo.' I literally have been speed running his link bc I need to know if she's a creep or if he's delusional. I'm at 9 so it seems to be delusional.

I took one look at Odagiri and went 'ah yes, he's a little bit fucked up.' only halfway through so curious where it goes.

Would die for the elderly couple I need to advance their link.

Miyamoto, go to a fucking doctor do you not know how injuries work?

Chihiro I would kill for you. Not that far into her link but her dad can catch these hands.

Maya is cool. Not that engaging of a link tbh.

Hiraga is very cute and sweet so I wanna advance his link I'm only a couple in.

Yuko is cool I'm only at 4 with her. She's funny and quick witted.

I will fucking kill Maiko's parents and adopt her myself. I'm only at 5. The moment I saw she was hanged arcana I was worried for her.

Pharos is cool idk how to advance his link I assume it'd natural.

Haven't done much with Bebe. Will at some point.

I just started the monk. He's interesting.

Suemitsu my sweet summer child go to fucking therapy. About halfway through and the tea is piping hot. Bro is literally like eating himself to death or something. I do think he's very sweet though.

That's about it loving the game despite a few nitpicks bc it's Atlus and my grudge against then is eternal.

[criolla-star]

Overwhelmed (Vinny x Garmadon) part 38

(I suggest you check out parts 1-37 if you haven't already)

"There is nothing wrong with me at all! No one or thing is causing me to act like this!" Vinny responded as tears welled in his eyes. "Then what is?! You're the one that told me to open up about things, why don't you do it!?" The oni responded desperate for an answer.

"Not everyone opens up as easy as that not everyone really has a problem this is just how they are sometimes!" Vinny exclaimed, "Just because I don't tell you every single detail in my life doesn't mean anything has happened!" he added, Garmadon tensed up hearing that.

"I'm just worried about you, you were in the bathroom for a whole hour doing who knows what! Can you really blame me for worrying and thinking that you done this to yourself!" The oni yelled back. "I don't want hi-" Vinny was going to mention something Enji said but instantly stopped himself. "What are you so afraid of, why won't you tell me?!" Garmadon responded out.

"Stop with the questions...." Vinny said knowing very well if he said anything else he was gonna out himself about Enji. "Why should I?! I'm just worried for you and your health! Tell me, is this my fault!? Did I make you do this to yourself?!" The oni yelled out still presuming Vinny hurt himself.

"Maybe you did!" Vinny shouted out in reply, he had tears streaming down his face, the cameraman realised what he said and instantly covered his mouth with his hand. Garmadon tensed hearing that, "Oh great here I am back at square fucking one! So tell me how long have I made you feel so fucking miserable!?" The oni yelled out holding back tears at that point. "G-Garm that's n-not what I-"Vinny was cut off by Garmadon, "Well clearly I have some part to partake in your misery!" The oni replied.

"You're acting like I don't want to tell you! You're the first person I wanted to tell, but I can't because he'll hurt you!" Vinny angrily responded, he didn't think about what he said he just said it unaware he may have outed himself of a certain dickheads' existence aka Enji. "What do you mean? Who are you talking about?" Garmadon responded as his voice quieted down and became more worrying.

"No one, just drop it" Vinny instantly replied realising he may have outed himself. "Is someone hurting you?! Are they threatening you?!" The oni asked again, causing the cameraman to tense up, "That's not what I meant...." Vinny responded as he began thinking of a lie. "Yes it is! You clearly are hiding more than that from me because someone wants to hurt me!" Garmadon said.

"Maybe I am keeping secrets! But it has nothing to do with you other than you being threatened!" Vinny shouted angrily, he wasn't in a mood today running on 2 hours of sleep and having a dickhead torment him aka Enji was hell. "Who is even doing this to you!? You were perfectly fine before we came here!" The oni replied.

"I don't know! This guy comes ou-" Vinny was going to say something but he looked at Garmadon, Enji was standing behind him with a finger on his lips. The cameraman instantly shut up, "I...I just need some space..." Vinny said as he looked away, was Enji just everywhere was here there all the time and he didn't know. Garmadon looked like he was going to say something, but stopped himself and paused for a moment. "Fine....if you start getting any worse, don't expect me to ask...talk to me when you're ready....I'm sure my brother can get me another room if you wnat to be alone so badly...." Garmadon simply replied.

"W-Wait what? T-that's not w-what I-" Vinny looked back to where Garmadon was standing and didn't see him there he just left and closed the door. The cameraman tensed, "Way to fucking go! Here I am pushing away the only fucking sense of sanity!" Vinny exclaimed out before laughing out hysterically. "I'm so fucking dumb!" He added as he rested his head on the wall.

"Looking a little rough there buddy~!" Enji called out as he emerged from the dresser mirror.

(NAHHHH WE GOT THE ANGSTY ERA)

[foxglovegames]

Sorry, please ignore my previous message—that was sent before I could even type anything 😭.

Just wanted to scream about the Adrian and Hazel DLC, which I finally finished, and how I lost it entirely at the whole "Uncle Jacey" and "pregnancy" thing (Cameron, you shit-stirrer). Also, just how Adrian didn't totally deny the possibility of it happening soon-ish (I see you devs with that Hazel and Sina comment, pfft). Also, just Caroline being dragged away from hovering on their engagement is the funniest thing I've read—let her cook! She was their first shipper and has been waiting years for this! Hazel returning the head pats and constantly playing with Adrian's hair, too? Devs, you spoil us 🥺. Speaking of, THANK YOU FOR THE ZOE AND JACE FOOD IN HAZEL AND ADRIAN'S DLC. I love those two as much as I do Hazel and Adrian (and am doing them next), and to see they're romantically tangled in that timeline has me 😤. Does Jace ever get the guts to finally ask Zoe out? The people me want to know and how much groveling begging did Zoe make him do for making her wait? I didn't get to message y'all after doing Stephanie's base route either because things got tumultuous on my end, but she is soooo cute (Stephanie stans, I get it now) and want to throw some Stephanie x Jace love, because I don't think I've seen any content of them here??? I was laughing so hard throughout their route during a hard time, so it really alleviated my mood. Also, Jace getting a taste of his own medicine with an older, protective brother? Justice. Also, just screaming about their height difference. Jace and Hazel's bond in this route too was ❤️. Anyway, will go on to play the rest of the DLC, but thank you, Clara and Millie, for a fun game ❤️. I'm so excited for Burn the Midnight Oil and which vampires/demons I'll sell my soul to—I mean, smooch.

No worries, haha! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us again, they're so much fun to read. 💜

Also, just Caroline being dragged away from hovering on their engagement is the funniest thing I've read—let her cook!

We wish we could have shown Caroline trying to plan one of the twins' weddings, we feel like that would have been quite chaotic but very fun lol

Does Jace ever get the guts to finally ask Zoe out?

For the sanity of everyone involved, let's hope the answer to that question is yes haha

Hope you enjoy the rest of the DLC! And thank you for your excitement for our next project - although it's got quite different vibes from Trouble Comes Twice, we're working hard to make it a fun experience for you guys so it's always nice to know there's people looking forward to seeing more of it. 😭💜✨

[heartofspells]

Ugh, Dani. Why are you coming into my asks and making me cry? It feels so weird to not be posting a new chapter. What the hell am I going to do once it's finished???

But I mean, since it is posting day, and since I did promise snippets...

--

"Someone's having me on," utters Sirius as he gazes across the room with mystified eyes.

Trying to follow his line of sight, Benjy frowns. "What are you talking about?" he asks, sounding bemused, but Sirius shakes his head slowly, his lips quirking up in a half-smile.

"Never mind. C'mon, follow me."

Benjy sticking close to his side, Sirius guides them both across Lily's lounge to the other side where the food is spread out on a large table. He stops and clears his throat, gaining the briefest flicker of eyes before they fall to the table again.

"What do you want, Black?" asks Chrys in a crisp tone. "I'm busy. Make it quick."

Snorting, Sirius says, "You can't boss me around. We're not at work. This is my friend's house. And it's my birthday."

"Do I boss you around at work?"

"You try."

"Hmm. Seems I should try harder," mutters Chrys, picking up a sausage roll and inspecting it like it might be poisoned. "You didn't answer my question. What do you want?"

"Nothing. Thought you weren't coming. Bit surprised to see you here."

"Yes, well," she says slowly, taking a small sniff of the roll before dropping it onto her plate. "I got hungry." Her tone is deadpan, and Sirius bites the inside of his cheek to withhold a laugh as Chrys lifts her head to look at him properly. "And also, that boyfriend of yours is insistent. He's grating. On my nerves. And my sanity. But he doesn't take no for an answer. I can admire that."

Sirius can feel Benjy's eyes turning on him, asking silent questions Sirius doesn't have the answers for. Sirius has the same questions, gaze flickering towards a confused Benjy, the other man only shrugging in response.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about. I didn't do anything," says Benjy to Chrys, but the woman glances at him scathingly.

"I didn't say you, did I?" she barks. "I said boyfriend. Him." Chrys jabs her thumb over her shoulder, angling towards the corner where Sirius finds James standing when he looks around, his stomach twisting in an awful way. "What's his face. Jack, I think he said."

"James," corrects Sirius automatically, his chest tightening uncomfortably. He can still feel Benjy staring at him, but Sirius forces himself to remain as cavalier as possible.

"Right, that's it. He's very pushy. I told him I had no interest in your festivities the same as I told you, but he kept at it. Luckily for you," informs Chrys without a hint of humor, gaze fluttering over the food again. "Don't get used to it. I won't be back next year."

Benjy clears his throat. "That's me," he states, drawing Chrys' attention.

"What?" she clips out, expression unimpressed as she drags her eyes over Benjy. "What are you on about?"

Heaving a sigh, Sirius says, "James is my best mate. Benjy." He points his finger at the man beside him. "Boyfriend."

"The words coming out of your mouth make no sense," declares Chrys in a dull fashion.

"Boyfriend. Me. Hi," says Benjy flatly, like all the air has escaped him. "I'm Sirius' boyfriend."

Chrys looks over him again, eyes starting at the top of Benjy's head and dropping to his feet before roving up once more. Her lips purse when she's finished.

"I don't see it," she claims, turning away from them, obviously done with the conversation.

Sirius turns to face Benjy, rolling his eyes. "Don't worry about her," he dismisses, trying to brush it off. "She's a good enough person, but she's detached from people. Bit clinical."

"Yeah," mumbles Benjy, sounding disheartened. He's no longer looking at Sirius, gaze staring over his shoulder at the corner where James is. "Think I'm gonna go get a drink. I'll find you in a little while."