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bustyasianbeautiespod · 11 months ago

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Episode 88 Transcript: Does Sam Winchester Have Anything to Say to the People of the United States (and the Philippines)?

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many, many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 6: "I Believe the Children Are Our Future," written by Daniel Loflin and Andrew Dabb, directed by Charles Beeson. Loflin/Dabb!

C: Yeah. Well, soon, they will do a terrible thing to us. [laughs]

G: When soon?

C: When's "Hammer of the Gods"?

G: Oh my god, you're right! It is- they are “Hammer of the Gods.” [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, that is what I primarily think of them as.

G: They will do two episodes first before they do "Hammer of the Gods."

C: Okay. Alright. I'll work up to hating them, then. [G: Yeah.] We finally get a proper Sam mirror episode. It's been so long!

G: Literally. What if there was a mirror held up in front of San Winchester? [C: What if?] And it's so fun! You know what? I solemnly- I will say this. I'll put this on the record. This is a good Supernatural episode. [C: Mm.] Do you agree? Disagree? What are your thoughts?

C: Yeah. I think I generally liked it, but I think that some of the stuff they said wasn't making any sense, like, especially at the end.

G: Well, that's why I said it's a good Supernatural episode. [C laughs] Like, it's not a good- I think it could be a good episode, but I'm not going to make that stance. Like, I'm not gonna die on that hill. But I am gonna die on the hill of it being a good Supernatural episode. Like, it has all the makings of Supernatural. It's not, like, trying something new or different. It's just Supernatural as what it does, and it does a good job of it! I think it's a fine- it's a wonderful Supernatural episode!

C: He didn't even leave a note with his birth mom. Where did she go after that?

G: I have no idea. It is crazy that she was a person, and then turns-

C: Yeah, and then she gets possessed, and then she's just passed out in a chair for the rest of the episode.

G: She was a person, and her backstory is about how traumatizing it was to be possessed, and then at the end of the episode, she gets possessed, and then she is treated like every other person that was a vessel in Supernatural that isn't a main character. [C: Yup.] And it's like, well, mm.

C: Yeah, literally, it's like, "It was so terrible to be used only for my body, and I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that," and then at the end, they just treat her like a body as well. [G: Yeah.] Good job, writers.

G: And, like, they didn't even think about taking her to Bobby's as well or giving her a damn amulet? [C: Tattoo?] Yeah, I don't know. Giving her Bobby's hat? Like, you haven't thought of this?

C: [laughs] Exactly. Also- yeah, whatever, we'll get into it later. The conversation on the car made no sense. [laughs]

G: I completely zoned out in that part because I was like, "What the fuck are they talking about?"

C: "What the fuck are you talking about?" [laughs]

G: But okay. [laughs] "I wish Dad didn't tell us things when we were kids." What?? Okay.

C: "I wish, instead, he lied about how jacking off makes hair grow on your palms." [laughs] Like, no, you don't!

G: Well, first, what did you know about this episode before going in ?

C: Just so that this is gonna be with an Antichrist kid named Jesse, and Cas wants to kill him, [G: Feminist!] and then he just turns Cas into an action figure, [G: Also feminist.] and then Dean will ask if he can bring him back 'cause Cas is like, his friend.

G: "It's my buddy Cas." Yeah.

C: Yeah, "He's kind of a buddy of mine."

G: Ah, lovely! I think I've said this before, but this is another one of those episodes where Cas is in it, but also, like, not really.

C: Yeah. They do action figure him.

G: Like, he is in it. Yeah, they put him in the bank vault by turning him into an action figure. [C: Exactly.] And like, he is relevant, but also like, what I mean is in future seasons when he becomes more of a "there's a plot A/plot B happening in this episode, and he's plot B" kind of situation, or sometimes even plot A. And in the future, I would say, [laughs] I'm premonitioning that I would say that, "Oh, I miss when Cas was just like, in an episode that's just like, his role is just bullshit. He's just in there." [C: Uh-huh.] And because it adds to the vibe of the show that they just have this buddy that like, shows up sometimes, and it's no big deal. I mean, it is a big- you know what I mean, right? Like, it's no big deal to the show. Instead of like, every time he shows up, it has to be because of a big plot reason or a big character reason. And it makes the show feel smaller, makes the word feel smaller, because every time he's here, it has to be a big deal by the episode. And now it's like, "He's here. It's not that big of a deal." And that's wonderful to me! [laughs]

C: Uh-huh. Happy for you.

G: I would admit, though, for a substantial amount of time before he shows up- I mean, I knew he was gonna be here- I was just thinking, "When's Cas gonna show up? When's Cas gonna be here?" So I don't know. It's a double-edged sword.

G: Well, we start with the "Then" sequence that was so ominous. I was half-scared that Sam and Dean are gonna have a big fight again because it starts with "You chose a demon over your own brother!" [C laughs] and I was like, "I thought we were past this! I thought we were past this." We are. We are. In the episode, it's not, like, brought up. It's just- I don't even know why.

C: We're so past this that they're working as a team so hard that they refuse to split up, which I think is like, [laughs] a large issue during a lot of the episode.

G: Why? Why do you think so? They split up in the hospital. Sam went to a different floor, and Dean went to a different floor! [C laughs] That's splitting up.

C: I feel like one of them should have stayed with Jesse, [G: That's true.] and one of them so should have stayed with his mom or something. I feel like that would have solved most problems.

G: No, yeah, you're right. But they did split up! Don't peddle lies in this podcast.

C: Different floors of the hospital, I don't think counts. [G laughs] Split up as in different buildings, at the very least.

G: Well, okay, alright. But the ominous tone doesn't really continue into the episode. Actually, a substantial amount of the episode was light. Was like, trying to be funny. Yeah. So there was, I suppose, like, some idea that this could be- like, they bring up the trickster, blah blah blah. But you know it's not gonna be, like, that, because it's not in the "Then" sequence. [laughs]

C: They bring it up 'cause "Changing Channels" is coming, like, up so soon, they want to remind people about Gabriel, right?

G: You're right. When is "Changing Channels"? When do we change our channels?

C: I think it might be like, literally next.

G: Oh, it's 5.08. So it's near.

C: Okay, so in 2.

G: It's near, it's near. You're right, actually! That's true. "Then" sequence ends with Sam and Dean reconciling. Wow! "[dramatically] We're gonna go down fighting. We're just gonna grab onto whatever it's in front of us," and it's like, this could be from any episode. [C laughs] [C: It could be.] This could be literally from any fucking episode, but alright.

C: They say this constantly. Also, you didn't beat up this child, so I think you were lying?

G: I think Sam was lying.

C: Yeah, something to think about.

G: I think Sam is of the perspective that they're the good guys and they don't kill children because of that. [C laughing] But like, he also said that they would just grab onto whatever's in front of us, so.

C: Yeah, and then kick its ass. Soo yeah. Interesting, Sam. Interesting.

G: Yeah. Bit hypocritical from Sam Winchester.

C: What do you have to say to the people of the USAmerica about this?

G: And the Philippines, even.

C: And the Philippines. I guess nothing, 'cause it's not on Netflix for you guys.

G: Yeah! Can you- why? Put Supernatural on Netflix.

C: It's so that he wouldn't have to be liable for his lies to the people of the Philippines. [G laughs]

G: This is the real reason, the only reason. But it would be awfully convenient, and maybe we would even get it a Tagalog dub, on Netflix! so I don't have to hound whoever has ever worked in TV5 for the fucking Tagalog dub. Again, if you know any way that I can access that fucking dub, I want it very much. Thank you.

The episode starts. We've got, like, a young lady. She's going to be revealed to be babysitting in a while. Or, I don't know. Is it called babysitting if it's not a baby?

C: Yeah, it's still called babysitting.

G: Okay. This is like, really popular in the US. [C: Yeah.] Did you ever get one? Is that like, something for you?

C: No, I never got one.

G: Okay, it's like, a specific demographic. [laughs]

C: I always had a parent- Well, I think it's just like, how many of your parents work, what hours they work, [G: Ah.] how much money they make so they can get a babysitter. And then, I don't know. I think sometimes people will get a babysitter when they want to go on like, dates with their partner or something, and so they're leaving the kids alone at night? [G: Yeah.] It's also if your parents don't have friends that they can leave you with, I suppose. [laughs]

G: Yeah. Like, you just go to your aunt's house, or you go to your neighbor's house for the afternoon or whatever. She's babysitting, and she is, you know, she's brushing her hair while sitting in front of this television, very close to the TV, and she's watching and watching. And she is wearing a typical Supernatural outfit and in a typical Supernatural house with typical Supernatural lighting. And all I could think of was like, can you believe that she's not, like, "I'm in a Supernatural episode!" that it looks like this. Like, girl, be fucking for real right now. [C laughs] I can't believe people on television don't realize that they're on television! Like, bro, you're literally in Supernatural! Also, isn't it so odd that they just never change fashion styles in this show? [laughs] I mean, is it odd, or that's just how it is?

C: True. It's been a few years.

G: It's been a few years, and it will continue to be a few more years, and the look of the outfits will never change.

C: Really? No one changes their outfits? Wow!

G: No, I don't think so.

C: Maybe the costume department just bought like, things in bulk in, like, 2005, [both laugh] and they're just slowly working through it.

G: For real. Eventually, she hears, like, some rustling, some bustling, and she realizes that, oh, something's happening. She goes to the closet. She opens the closet door, and there's a kid there. And he's like- he has stuff in his head.

C: He's wearing one of those hats that's like, half of an arrow on each side, so it looks like it went through your head.

G: And he has a quote "bloody" face. And I didn't realize that this was a trick at first, so I was like, [C: Oh, I don't think you're supposed to.] yeah, I was like, "What an interesting turn of events that this girl is a serial killer!" [both laugh] 'Cause she opens it, and she's like, "Ugh, come on!" I was like, "Oh my god! She killed this kid! Wonderful!" [C: Yeah.] But no, she did not kill this kid.

C: No, she's gonna die instead. It's very sad.

G: Yeah. Very sad. [laughs] The child should have died? Is that what you're saying, Crystal? The child should have died?

C: Babysitters are often teens as well. I don't know how old she is. [G: This is true. Or is it?] She could be a child who died.

G: Why are you making a child watch over your child? And pay them to-

C: That's just how it is.

G: Just let them be by themselves, just like Jesse later. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I mean, Jesse is a pretty good kid. Like, he may have caused many problems, but that wasn't on him.

G: [laughs] It literally isn't. But yeah, she tells the kid to go to bed, and then the kid is like, "Well, before I go to bed, can I touch your boob?" [C: Boo.] Or something like that. And I'm like, "Ugh. Annoying. But also, this kid will be traumatized to hell and back later, so."

C: Yeah, no, it's just an annoying thing to put in because I feel like the hot babysitter is, like, such a trope. [G: Overplayed trope.] Yeah, and it's overplayed. And I hope that it hasn't led to more babysitters getting sexually harassed, but it probably has if like, you're a young kid who doesn't know shit, and you're watching TV, and there's more hot babysitter tropes in front of you all the time. [G: Yeah.] So yeah, it's annoying for that reason.

G: He goes out, she stays downstairs, she continues brushing her hair. She sees something outside. She looks out the window. It's, you know, like, it's a whole thing. And then, when the family shows up, well, the mom and dad, she's like, on the couch, and she's sleeping, and the TV is all buzzy. And the dad is like, "Okay, don't wake up. I'm just going to get her home, or whatever."

C: Which implies that she can't drive, right? So she probably is a teen.

G: What is the driving age? Is it also 21?

C: 16.

G: What the fuck? Wait, so your drinking age is-

C: Some people get their licenses- Yeah, the drinking age is 21. Driving age is 16. And you're right. You can probably kill a lot more people by driving than by drinking.

G: Well, at least you're not gonna be drunk driving.

C: [laughs] That's true. Yeah, I guess the point is for you to get a few years of getting good at driving, so that when some people inevitably drunk drive, they'll be, like, better at it. [laughs]

G: Yeah, except you and I are never gonna- [laughs] you and I are never gonna drive ever, probably. Do you have a driver's license? You do-

C: I have a driver's license.

G: That's crazy! That is so against my perspective of you as a person! [C laughing]

The dad tries to wake her up. She's not waking. When he moves her head over, he feels it's wet, and so he puts his hand under the lamp. It's bloody! He turns her over fully, and her entire side of her head is clawed open. Wonderful, honestly! [C laughs] Like, it looks like it has sloughed off, and I think the visual effect is very nice.

C: [laughs] He ruins it by shouting, "Francine!" I think it's crazy that people are named Francine. Good for them.

G: Hey, Francine is a fine name!

C: Yeah, I think it's just from, like, a different decade in the US, but this woman is from a different-

G: It's not! I have many friends- I know many people my age named Fran-

C: I said US!

G: Okay, fine.

C: We are in the morgue, and Sam and Dean are being FBI agents. My god, does the transcript usually say "Dean and Sam" instead of "Sam and Dean"? Like, I saw that, and I was like, "Something's wrong with this." Has this been like, a pattern?

G: I think it depends. I'm not particularly sure, although the technical, correct way to do it is "Dean and Sam" because of the order of letters.

C: Wait, like, you're usually supposed to list it in alphabetical order?

G: I mean, I usually do, yeah. Well, when it's names, like, when it's two names like this-

C: Well, you said "technically correct." Like, what's the technicality?

G: I don't know. I don't know! Don't ask me those kinds of questions! [both laughing]

C: [laughing] But you just said! Okay.

G: Yeah, they do Led Zep names this episode, and you know what? [C: What?] I think it's better when I don't recognize the names. I think it's so annoying when I do. I'm like, "Shut the fuck up!" [laughs] [C: Real.] You think you're so clever, Robert Plant? Like, shut the fuck up, Sam.

C: "We're Agents Will and Wood."

G: [laughs] Yeah, exactly.

C: They're asking to see Amber, the babysitter's, body because apparently, something clawed through her skull. Apparently, the autopsy report that he emailed out this morning- [laughs] Sam said they had no bars so they didn't get it [G laughs] [G: No bars.]- is that they found one of her acrylic nails, which I did notice, they're very beautiful during the opening sequence - they found one of them lodged inside of her temporal lobe, [G: Truly a shame.] which means that she literally scratched her brains out, and this is something that is apparently technically possible. The doctor drops a little ableist line about, "Oh, like, the reason she did it was OCD or PCP, but it all spells crazy." Did they think this was like, funny?

G: I don't know, or, like, the doctor is like-

C: Is it that the doctor's an asshole? What are they trying to establish here?

G: Well, because we're supposed to think the doctor is stupid for saying this because we know that's not true, [C: Right.] I think.

C: So yeah. Alright. Okay. Well, I'm still looking with reproach. [G: Yeah.] And he says that it's probably like, something like a phantom itch where you just can't stop scratching. And then, yeah, that's the end of that scene. But Sam and Dean [laughs] both sort of scratch themselves a little because they are now finding itchiness within themselves.

G: I would say also that the director- like, the way this episode is directed, I quite like. There's one scene that is viciously bad [laughs]- I'll point it out later.

C: I think there's multiple scenes that have Robert Singer-worthy zooms or cuts. [G laughs]

G: But in general, I quite really like the way the episode is directed. Like, the way they pull out the body, and then the shots of Sam and Dean’s face, the shot of the hand missing the nail. Like, all of it does look quite cinematic, I believe. And it's like, one of those- this is one of those episodes where, like, in my head, again, when I think of, like, Supernatural aesthetics, I'm like, "Oh, that's one." Which is like- 'cause usually, those are Season 1 episodes when I think of it, right? Like, if you think of Supernatural aesthetic, you're thinking of Season 1, so this one- I don't know. It doesn't look like Season 1, but it has a vibe to it that I like. It's nice. I like this episode. Sometimes, I like episodes. Who'd have thunk? Well, I mean, everybody, because apparently I've liked [laughs] every single episode of Season 5 so far, so.

C: Yeah, you have.

G: So we go to the house that she was in when she died, and I was like, "Well, that's interesting [laughs] that they're interviewing these people and not other people." Like, I don't know

C: What people?

G: Like, her parents, I feel like that would be- But it's because they are suspecting the place, not the general- before. Or are they?

C: Yeah, I think if that you're thinking about ghosts and shit, then you assume [G: You are suspecting-] it's place-based.

G: Yeah. They're interviewing the family of the house she was in, and Sam prefaces the question with, "This may seem odd," which is- why did they not just do this every single time? Like, "Hey, we're going to be asking odd questions, but stick with us." I feel like that is going to make people more willing to be like, "Well, that's an odd question. Let me answer it," than fucking, "Um, so, does it smell weird in here?"

C: Sometimes it makes you like- prefacing it with "Uh, this might be weird" makes you, like, realize that things are weird faster, though? Like, maybe in the past, they were hoping that people would just answer questions without thinking about it much.

G: Yeah, okay. I just cannot stop thinking about the people that like, Sam and Dean interview as FBI agents, and they think that the FBI is on their case, but they're not. [C laughs] And like, for some people, that would be an incredibly devastating blow, I think.

C: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they really don't circle back. Like, this kid is going to spend the rest of his life thinking that he killed his babysitter.

G: Yeah, 'cause she's dead, so she hasn't been restored.

C: Yeah, she's the only one who wasn't, like, brought back by Jesse.

G: Well, there was the guy who got electrocuted.

C: Oh, yeah. Two people. That kid and that retiree are both going through it.

G: And the ham. [C laughs]

C: And the ham! Jesse brings it back as a pig.

G: Yeah, exactly. Sam asks about cold spots or, like, strange smells, blah blah blah. Meanwhile, Dean is separated from Sam! [C laughs] and is like, walking around the house, looking at stuff.

C: In the open floor plan, so there's not even a door between them, yes. [G laughs]

G: Well, and Dean sees the kid, and he goes towards him and asks him about stuff, and he tries to connect. And I do find this interesting because, you know, usually, when they have kids, they do have Dean try to connect with the kid. I feel like earlier seasons, it was easier for him to do so. As he grows older, I think it becomes more difficult to the point of, when he's older, he's being made fun of kids more than [C: Good.] connecting with them.

C: I mean, also, like, he's an FBI agent here, right? [G: Yeah.] Like, in the past, he wasn't pretending to be an FBI agent when he was interviewing kids. Like, that puts up barriers between your ability to connect.

G: So what he does here is talks to the kid. He tries to connect with being like, "Oh, yeah, I had a babysitter. Not good."

C: Named Miss Chancy, which is also- it's an interesting name. I just feel like Francine and Miss Chancy are both, like, I don't know who came up with these names. [G: Yeah.] Someone's having like, a weird British face.

G: [laughs] Francine is not British. Francine- "Francine." How do you say it in a British accent so I can visualize? Frahncine.

C: I don't know.

G: See? It doesn't work.

C: I mean, Clara is Clahra in British. Like, they can- you can fuck with the vowels. [G: Francine.] Francine is French, though, so the British would not want it.

G: This is true, so see, it's not British. No one's having a British phase.

C: Yeah, fine. They're having a Europe [both] phase.

G: Dean asks if he saw anything strange that night, and the kid keeps on denying, keeps on denying. And Dean does something that is so threatening, which is he puts his hand on this kid's shoulder and goes, "I happen to know you're lying. Either you tell the truth, or I'm going to have to take you downtown," like, to the precinct is the implication, which is like crazy! [C: Bro.] I mean, the fact that he was like, "I'm gonna try to connect with this kid!" Doesn't work. "I'm going to fucking arrest you." [laughs] that is like, okay!

C: Yeah. I mean, this episode is the one where Dean completely fails at connecting to kids. 'Cause, like, the kid of the day is a Sam mirror, and he doesn't understand that. [G: Yeah.] So it's just a precursor to that.

G: There is something to me about how Sam, when he saw Jesse making-

C: Yeah, he went, "You are my mirror. I am your mirror. Let us hold hands."

G: No, when he saw Jesse making soup, he goes, "I used to make lunch or dinner for myself all the time." [C: Dinner.] 'Cause me, physical manifestation of Dean Winchester, as we have established, [C laughs] my first immediate thought was, "Oh, Dean used to make that for him and Sam." [C: No.] So I think, perhaps, that would also be Dean's like, reaction. But vs Sam-

C: I'm sure that Sam also made his own dinner.

G: No, no, no, no versus Sam- like, I'm sure it happened. But in terms of conceptualization of the past, like, it is fascinating to me that for Dean, which- this is something I completely made up in my head, so maybe it's not even true, but I think it is - [C: Yeah, we don't know what he's thinking.] he probably conceives it as him and Sam- him making something for Sam. Versus Sam, who conceives it as, like, by himself. "I'm making dinner for myself."

C: As in like, he didn't share with Dean? [laughs]

G: No, no, no. He probably remembers the stuff when it was just him more. And like, it's about the prevalent memory in your head of your childhood. And I was like, "That's interesting that Sam said that, and therefore betrays a prevalence of memory in his head." [C: Yeah.] Like, it's not about what actually happened, because again, I'm sure both things did happen. It's more of like, "What do you remember?" But that's for fucking later. Here, they go out, and Dean relays to Sam that the kid put itching powder on the hairbrush of the babysitter. [C: Yeah.] So that's crazy!

C: Why?

G: That's crazy.

C: I don't know. Kids just do things, I guess.

G: Yeah. Well, Dean did put that whoopee cushion.

C: A whoopee cushion is just like, an embarrassment thing. Itching powder is meant to cause you physical distress.

G: Yeah, this is true. This is true. That is one of the, I think, worst things you can do as a prank to someone. Like, in in terms of the general prank items that you can do. That's like, up there as like- because it lasts for a long time in theory. And if you have sensitive skin, it can do real, long damage for you. But whatever. This kid is going to be- again, this kid's kind of a dick, but [laughs] is also gonna be traumatized for the rest of his life, so.

G: They get a call, and they go to a hospital where a guy got electrocuted. [laughs] Because there's like, a retiree, like, an old man who they talk to. And he says he was joking around, he was feeling goofysilly, and he shook this guy's hand with a, like- What is this? Like, a little electric buzzer or something?

C: It's called a joy buzzer, it says, yeah.

G: Yeah. But what is it? It's supposed to give you a little shock, right?

C: Yeah, but there's no actual electricity. It just, like, moves around a lot, so, like, it feels like vibrations from a shock.

G: Oh. Why is it called joy buzzer?

C: 'Cause it causes you joy to buzz somebody. [laughs] That does sound like a vibrator, though.

G: Yeah, well, it does. And Sam and Dean are curious as to how this is. There's this scene where Dean puts on goggles, puts on gloves, puts on- like,makes a show of putting on safety gear, and then he holds the joy buzzer and then presses it into a piece of ham.

C: Sam also puts on the goggles and the safety gear!

G: [laughs] No! Does he really? [C laughs] That is so funny! They're cooking ham. They're cooking. He electrocutes this fucking ham, and it goes from completely uncooked- or, I don't know. Can a ham be completely uncooked? Don't you smoke that shit? How does ham work?

C: It is cured in some way. I don't know.

G: 'Cause ham can just be the cut, also, like, I think. Or is it specifically-

C: Well, there's cooked ham, and there's uncooked ham. [G laughs] So you're probably thinking about the cooked ham.

G: Yeah, well, it's an uncooked ham, and now it's cooked! Now they have a cooked ham. And Dean is like, "Wow, this thing doesn't even have batteries. It's not even supposed to do anything." And they're like, "Are we looking at cursed objects? What are we looking at? Is there a witch?" And throughout all this, Dean has pulled out a knife and is [laughs] eating the ham. And they make a point of it throughout the rest of this episode where he keeps on eating the ham, and the and Sam being like, "Eugh, Dean. Why are you eating the ham still?" Those two items don't come from the same place, like, they were not produced in the same place, but they come from the same store.

C: They're at this prank store. They're browsing. Dean picks up a whoopee cushion, which will come back later. They're under the impression that the owner is a powerful witch, so they question him. Dean buys the whoopee cushion, and it becomes clear that the owner is upset that kids don't really buy things here because they just care about "iPhones and those kissing vampire movies." Last episode, there was also like the "Millennials don't care about wax museums, but I'm gonna get them in through Paris Hilton," right? [G laughs] Like, sort of a streak of "kids these days on they damn phones."

G: Yeah. And are they being for real?

C: What?

G: Like, what is the show intending for this to be- again, like, same question you asked with the doctor earlier. Like, is this supposed to be like, "Haha! That's so true." or "Haha! That's so stupid."

C: I think it's like, "That's so true, but prank stores and wax museums are loser behavior." [G laughs] So it's funny that this person's complaining about it because of course an iPhone is better than a wax museum.

G: Yeah, and also kissing vampire movies.

C: Sam and Dan are sort of egging him on, like, "Oh, aren't you mad about that?" He's like, "Yeah, yeah! I am!" "Don't you hate them?" "Yeah, I do!" And then Dean goes, "So you're taking revenge with this!" and then he electrocutes a rubber chicken.

G: God. That place is gonna smell like fucking plastic forever.

C: Yeah. When a revenge brother meets a not revenge brother, this is the inevitable conclusion. But the chicken is a melted puddle. It's pretty nasty. And the guy, the owner, he's screaming. He's jumping back. He's like, "Oh my god, what the fuck!" So then, Sam is like, "Yeah, no, I don't think this guy is a witch," and Dean goes, "Sorry!" and then they go, with the whole rubber chicken still melted on the counter.

C: Now we are in a girl's bedroom. I don't think this child actress is very good, but she is a child actress, so I get it. She's just lost a tooth, and her dad is putting it under the pillow and telling her about the Tooth Fairy. And she goes, like, "So some freak is gonna come in my room while I'm sleeping and take my tooth? Sounds scary. No thank you."

G: She's so real for that.

C: After he falls asleep, she goes into his room and then hides her tooth under his pillow. Later in the night, somebody comes into the bedroom. It is the Tooth Fairy represented as like, a man with a beard wearing a pink tutu and sparkly wings. And he's being all menacing, and he has a pair of pliers, and he starts pulling out the dad's teeth. I have two questions about the Tooth Fairy. Okay, 'cause these are, like, what Jesse's parents told him, right? So like-

G: Yeah. So they were like, "Don't expect a coin because-"

C: Yeah, "The Tooth Fairy only wants alive teeth!" [laughs] Like, why would they say that? I don't know. These parents, like, we don't meet them, and, like, something is deeply wrong with them as people [laughs] based off of what happens this episode.

G: No, yeah. We don't ever meet them. And like, I don't know. It is fascinating, again, to me that like- I was gonna bring it up earlier. We don't meet the babysitter's parents. We meet the family that's already there for casting reasons, I suppose. And here, too, like, we never meet the parents, again, I think, for casting reasons.

C: I mean, we see them asleep in the bed. They had to cast somebody for it.

G: Yeah. But speaking lines are lot more expensive than somebody standing there or lying down there, I suppose.

C: But yeah, I don't know. It's confusing. And also, I don't know why the Tooth Fairy is portrayed like this, like, physically. 'Cause like, I think when we got to the part of the episode where like, Jesse's- I was watching this with Danica also. When we got to the part of the episode where Jesse was like, "Oh, that's what my parents said, like, the Tooth Fairy looks like."

G: Like, why did your parents say that?

C: Danica was like, "Oh, he's about to say something so homophobic," [laughs] but then they move on. [G: Yeah.] But like, I wonder if that was what the point was.

G: Oh, because fairy is a slur?

C: Yeah, like, if the dad was like, "Oh, fucking fairies" or something, you know, like- 'Cause typically, the Tooth Fairy is portrayed as a woman.

G: It could be like- Yeah, it could be like, if the dad's homophobic and calls gay people "fairies," that he just associates it-

C: Yeah, it's like, a guy with a beard, and he's like, "Oh, so that's what the Tooth Fairy looks like." Also, I don't know why I said "dad." Moms can be homophobic, too. #Equality.

G: [laughs] #Equality and feminism.

C: Yeah, I just feel like I've only heard "fairy" used by like, men. Like, I feel like- but like, yeah. Women can use slurs too. #Feminism.

G: I've only heard "fairy" used by Dean Winchester. [laughs]

C: Exactly!

G: Yeah. Guy's guy, that guy.

C: Yeah, yeah. I think, given that, like, Supernatural, the show, thinks that the sentence "fight the fairies" would immediately make you think of homophobia, like, maybe they were trying to go for something like that there, but they just didn't follow through entirely.

G: Well, thank god.

C: Because Jesse still has to love his parents or whatever.

G: Jesse still has to love his parents, and also, we're supposed to think he's like, a niceys kid with just misconceptions.

C: I don't think he's not niceys- Like, you could have misconceptions because your dad keeps saying "fairies." You don't have to be homophobic yourself.

G: Yeah, and also, it's not like, a homophobic-

C: Why did I say "dad" again? Your parent. [G laughing]

G: We are exposing our prejudices. Is that how you pronounce it? Prejudices. Prejudices? Whatever. We're exposing that here in this podcast episode.

C: This guy is still alive, but he's in the hospital, so Sam and Dean go interview him. Sam's doing his job, whereas Dean is being the most annoying guy you'll ever meet. He's flirting with a nurse, and like, he goes like, "I appreciate that, Nurse..." and then the transcript says that he reads her name tag. He does not just read her name tag. It is clipped, like,at her waist, and he picks it up, [G: Grabs it, yeah.] and like, pulls it towards him. Like, if anyone tried to do that, I would kill them, probably.

G: Yeah, but this person seems to be liking it.

C: Yeah. So maybe Dean's just picking up on signals or whatever.

G: Yeah. I mean, we've had this discussion wayyy back when we were still doing the per person Sam and Dean misogyny accounts. [C laughs] Can you believe that such a time has existed? What what an era in that point! Like, one time, we gave Sam 5 points, [C: Yeah.] and apparently, Samgirls were really mad at that. [C: Yeah.] So that's wonderful. [C: Wonderful!] My point here is we said, way back then, that flirting doesn't count. Well, it depends on the flirting.

C: Yeah, I don't think flirting counts, but yeah, I don't know. I just think that any flirting move that involves like [G: The office.] someone's name card at their waist, like, outside the door of like, a hospital room while they're working should just be toned down. But yeah.

G: Well, at least he doesn't try to hit her up again, just jacks off about it.

C: God. Why did they put that in? [G laughs]

G: What do you mean? Like, what do you mean? Is it a distasteful joke?

C: No, but it's like, 'cause it just doesn't really have a point to it. [G: Yeah.] It's not like later, they ask the kid, "And what did your parents tell you about jacking off?" [G laughs] 'Cause like, that wouldn't be appropriate. But, like, they did-

G: Yeah, it's for the comedy, it's for the LOLs. There's no nothing to, honestly.

C: Also, like, he didn't know when Sam was gonna get back. Do it in the bathroom, at least. I guess we don't know that he didn't do it in the bathroom [G: Well, we don't know.] but like, yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

G: Jacking off is fine! is my hot take. [both laugh] Even if it gives you hair on your palms.

C: I mean, it is fine. It's just an odd thing to put in for no reason.

G: It is an odd thing. [laughs] I'm just going to agree with everything you say and also disagree.

C: So after the flirting's over, he rejoins Sam. What Sam found out was that the Tooth Fairy that got this guy was 5'10, 350 pounds, had wings and a pink tutu, and got in without triggering any alarms. And it left 32 quarters underneath his pillow, one for each tooth. Slay! [G: That's pretty fun. That's pretty fun.] That's like, $8. And Dean says that he found out that there's some kids in the hospital with stomach ulcers from mixing pop rocks and coke, and then another guy's face "froze that way." And the way was like, a very silly face. Dean seems worried [overlapping] that it's gonna stick for him as well, yeah. Sam just doesn't really know how to put these together, and then Dean says that when he was a kid, he thought that sea monkeys were real. "I like, fully believed all the ads that they were like, basically people and shit." And Dean says, you know, like, maybe, like, the connection is that everything that's happened is a lie that kids believe. And Sam says, "Okay, so like, it's coming true. Whoever's doing this reshapes reality. Like, they have the power of a god, or a trickster," 'cause you know, he's on that Sabriel brain. [G, laughing: Yeah. So true. "Or maybe it's a kid. Who knows?"

G: We're back at the motel, and Sam is entering it with like, he's done research, whatever. See? They separated. [laughs] [C: Mm.] I'm going to be so annoying for the rest of this episode regarding that. Dean is eating a sandwich, again with the ham. And yeah, Sam was like, "Dude, really? Still with the ham?" And Dean goes, "We don't have a fridge!" At what point are we going to talk about that? We promised to talk about Sam's vegetarian situation.

C: He's not vegetarian yet.

G: Yeah. When it happens, when it happens, we promised to talk about it. With Dean, have we talked about it? Like, his relationship with food.

C: Yeah, we talked about it.

G: Okay, I mean, it's just, your typical talking point. [laughs] It's because there are stuff here in the podcast that-

G: I know it's a popular talking point in the fandom [C: Thing that people in the fandom talk about, but yeah.], but it does make me feel like, "Oh, well, let's just acknowledge it that that's something that happens, but let's not get into it, because all that's been said and done has been said and done." Although, do we have listeners that are not like, particularly in the fandom?

C: I'm sure we do.

G: Are you sure?

C: Yeah, some people came over from RubbishPod.

G: Yeah, if you if you are here and you're not in the fandom, why? and thank you. And if you're here from RubbishPod, hwy? [both] And thank you. [C: Yeah.] So Sam relays what he has found, which is that he put the incidents on a map, and they form a circle. And in the center of that circle is like, a house with a field. Why did he have to go out to do this?

C: Sam? [G: Yeah.] Well, he needed to get, like, a physical map of the town.

G: This is true. You're right! He could've just Google Maps-

C: I don't know if they had Google Maps yet.

G: Dean, as you said earlier, goes, "We're in the circle, aren't we? Because..." and then he raises his hand, and there's hair all over his palm because he jacked off!

G: They go to the farmhouse. There is truly godawful CGI in this scene. [C: Where?] Like, it looks so bad. The Impala, like, pulls up in front of a house, and the way it's shot is like, the house is so obviously- so obviously green screen. [C: Oh!] Did you not notice? It stuck out to me so bad. [C: No, I didn't.] And I was baffled, mortified, all the other adjectives about it.

C: I think I was still reeling from the the Dean masturbation joke. I was, you know, I was so emotionally distressed I didn't notice anything else. [laughs]

G: It is funny to me, because the whole time that they were walking towards it, I was just thinking, "How are they gonna cut away from this? How the fuck are they gonna cut away from this truly godawful scene?" And they did! Wonderful. Good for them. Yeah, they try to open the house, and Sam, like, picks the lock, but the door opens, and it's a little boy. Like, 9 years old is what they said, right?

C: How old is he supposed to be? Oh, is that what they said?

G: I think maybe 8 or something as such.

C: Who's telling their kids that jerking off makes hair grow on your palms when that kid is 8?

G: Oh, sorry. I watched a play earlier today, and the kid from that one was 8 years old. [laughs] This kid, I'm not sure. Probably 11. Probably older.

C: The conversation with Julia might say how long ago- Okay, he was born in 1998, the kid was, and this is too [both] 2009, so 11.

G: 11. Yeah. Just like-

C: Oh my god, just like Adam! [G: Just like Adam.] From Good Omens. I mean, there's a lot of, I think, Good Omens borrowing in this episode.

G: Oh, really? Can you name them?

C: No, I don't remember. [G laughs] I just remember having that thought.

G: So sad. You always need to bring your evidence. It's BABPod recordings. This is trial by fire.

C: That's true. It is.

G: He's a very- like, there is not an ounce of this kid that is not [laughs] aware of what's happening in his surroundings. Like, he's very like, "Okay, can I help you?" And Sam and Dean are like, "Hey, so what's your name?" And he's like, "Who wants to know? Can I see your ID?" And yeah. He's vigilant, is the term, about these things. [C: Yeah.] Which makes me wonder why. Like, is it, like, a social service thing? 'Cause he's obviously left alone a lot.

C: Yeah, probably. He shouldn't be left alone that much, so it's to prevent Child Protective Services from taking him away. Yeah, probably his parents trained him to do that.

G: And Dean even goes, at some point, like, "Come on, you can trust us. We're the authorities." Very threatening. Yeah, they eventually go in. The kid is boiling some soup. And Sam goes, "What's that?" [laughs] And Jesse realizes, just like us, that this is a stupid as fuck question, and he goes, "It's soup." [both laugh] But he says, "It's called soup," [C laughs] which is even funnier. Yeah. And he says, "You heat it up, and then you eat it." And Sam's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I used to make my own dinner too, when I was a kid." Oh, he's mirroring! He said, "I'll be your mirror." Jesse says, "Well, I'm not a kid," which, you know, Sam is immediately like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know, I know." But he introduces himself as Robert. [laughs] Very fun.

C: I'm surprised that Sam got Robert Plant. Wouldn't Dean want that one?

G: Well, Robert Plant is the main vocalist, so probably Dean would want that. But Jimmy Page is, I would say, has a better- to me, he's a cooler guy to me. [laughs] [C: Okay.] So, I don't know. [laughing] And I am the physical manifestation of Dean Winchester.

C: Yeah. Or this is part of the "We have to work as a team." Dean's like, "[dramatically] You know what, Sam? This time, you can be Robert Plant!" It's nice that Sam has decided to mirror it up here. Like, he seems almost caught in the nostalgia sauce when like, Jesse reminds him that he's not a kid. [G: Yeah.] It's been a while since he's thought about his childhood, I feel like, just because the present moment is so intense.

G: The last time- Well, I mean he did think about his childhood in '21. 4.21. [C: Mm. This is true.] That's the reason, I think.

C: Eh, been a bit, but yeah.

G: Okay. Well, when has Dean thought about his childhood? Have we considered?

C: Who cares? [both laugh]

G: I care. I GAF. The thing is, Sam, I think, likes to think about his childhood, and Dean does not. [C: Does he?] It's probably complicated and often painful, but he does do it often, and we see him do it often. And it is- I cannot imagine a situation where Dean would, in his head- Like, I mean, I understand that like, it's not like Sam was choosing to do what was happening in 4.21, like, he wasn't choosing who to talk to, who will manifest as him and talk to him. But like, the fact that for him, it was a kid. Like, I cannot imagine any situation where Dean would- that Supernatural will that have that happen to Dean Winchester. Do you understand what I mean? Yeah.

C: Yeah, I mean, it's 'cause Sam as a kid had hopes and dreams, so there's something there.

G: Yeah. Versus Dean, that like- I think those hopes and dreams, no matter how much, you know, broken dreams, are they bad or are they something else, just like Bruce Springsteen -it's still something to look back on. Versus Dean, that I think has less of that as a child, and perhaps had a very miserable childhood, and even more so because he didn't have aspirations such as that. And so doesn't look back on it, like, a lot, though. A lot of the looking back that Dean does is like, he was already a pretty hefty teenager. [laughs] Hefty is such a funny word!

C: Hefty? What do you mean by hefty?

G: Like, he was already a grown teenager.

C: He's old, yeah, in "After School Special."

G: Because like, for me, teenagers are like, I feel like 13 to 15 is like, young- or like, 13-14 is young teenager, and maybe 15-18 is, like, older teenager. And he was already an older teenager in "Bad Boys," which is like, the big Dean Winchester's childhood episode, and he was already one also in-

C: [laughing] Played by a 25-year-old.

G: Played by a 25-year-old high school special. "After School Special." And, I mean, the shtriga episode, he was a kid there, but that's not a good flashback. Like, that wasn't him looking back with fondness to something or whatever. It was being reminded to him because of a case that, like, I think- in no situation would he rather remember it, you know? So yeah, I think those differences in how Sam and Dean viewed their childhood are interesting to me, and also it's so fun to me that I still remember the shtriga episode so well because of the "God, did John like leave them for bait?" thing. Yeah. [laughing] I don't recall literally any other monster on Supernatural, I think. Except for that one.

While Sam is looking- while Sam is connecting and mirroring, Dean is looking at like, the pictures on the fridge, and he, again, he sees the man with the wings and the tutu, and he's like, "Did you draw this?" And Jesse says, "It's the Tooth Fairy!" And Dean is like, "Oh, okay, so this is what you think the Tooth Fairy looks like, huh?"

C: Oh, wait, he says his dad told him about the Tooth Fairy, and that's probably why I kept saying "dad." [laughs] I'm not misogynistic.

G: [laughs] You are practicing equality.

C: Yeah.

G: Dean, is like, "Huh, okay." And Jesse goes, "What? Didn't your dad tell you about the Tooth Fairy?"

And Dean is like, “Ha! My dad told me different stories,” which comes up later in a big way. In a way that [C: Yeah.] I don't understand at all. [C: Not at all.] But alright. They start doing this thing where Dean would ask something that happened to those people, and Jesse would say what happened, so like, “Oh, what happens when you mix pop rocks and coke?” “Oh, you go to the hospital.” “Itching powder?” “You scratch your brains out!” and then Dean shows the thing, the joy vibrator. Was it the joy-

C: [laughs] The joy buzzer?

G: [laughs] The joy buzzer. And Jesse’s like, “Oh, you shouldn't do that. It can electrocute you,” and Dean says, “No, actually it can't. It's just a toy. It's harmless. It doesn't have batteries, it can’t shock you, see?” And then he [C: Literally insane.] buzzes Sam, and Sam was, of course, shocked by this.

C: In terms of his emotions. [G: Yeah.] But not physically.

G: [laughs] Not physically. And Dean is like, “See? I told you!”

C: In fact, the point is that he wasn’t shocked physically.

G: He wasn't physically shocked, but he had the shock, emotionally, of his life.

C: Of his life, yeah. And Dean presses it right to his chest, too. [G: Yeah, like, dude.] Bro, maybe do a finger, Sam can lose a finger if you're wrong. [G: Do a finger test for real.] You would murder him. I’m sure there’s a- do it to the fucking soup or something. But yeah, whatever.

G: Yeah. And yeah, as they're heading out, Sam is like, “Dude. What the hell?” Guess again. Dean’s like, “Well, I mean, I was right, though,” and he was.

C: Yeah. It’s fine when Sam does this, so I think for the sake of equality I need to be fine that Dean did this.

G: Yeah. #feminism.

C: [laughs] No, absolutely not. But yeah.

G: We need to stop joking about feminism. [laughs]

C: Yeah, it is a thing that we actually care about for real.

G: Yeah. Yeah, so they discuss, “Oh, everything he believes comes true, so what are they supposed to do?” “We're out of our depth,” blah blah blah. They need to investigate some more.

C: I just can't believe they figured out what was going on, and they just left instead of sitting the kid down and then being like, “Can you give us a list of everything your parents told you? And we'll tell you the truth.” Currently, they just corrected him on one thing. The next person to mix pop rocks and Coke is gonna die.

C: Anyway, in the motel, Sam comes in. He's been looking through records. He was adopted, and there's no listed father. But his biological mother is named Julia Wright, and she lives on the other side of the state. So they go there, and her house is kind of rundown. There's a No Trespassing sign, and when they ring the doorbell, the woman, Julia, does not open the door. She just tells them to go away. When they say that they’re FBI, she tells them to put their badges in the slot in the door first. [G: Yeah.] So yeah, clearly, very scared about something. And then when she finally opens the door, they say they have some questions about her son.

G: When she opens her door, there's so many locks to it, you hear she's unlocking everything, and it's like, click, click, click, click, click, click, which was a fun thing to- it's fun, the way they showcase it.

C: She denies having a son. But Sam says some more details about Jesse, and she's like, “Yeah, okay, what's up?” And Sam asks, “We were just wondering. Was it a normal pregnancy? Was there anything weird?” And she immediately starts running away from them and freaking out, and they follow her inside. And she starts throwing salt at them, but nothing happens, and she goes, “You're not demons?” And Dean says, “How do you know about demons?” So we get the backstory, and it's- I'm very sorry to this woman that this happened. She was possessed by a demon when she was younger, I guess 11 years ago, 12 years ago, and during that time, she was aware of everything that happened as the demon murdered people. Sam's quick to reassure her, like, “That wasn't you,” but it was still a terrible time for her. During that time, she picked up some information about demons. She knew that salt would hurt them, all that. It was in her head for 9 months, so she was possessed during the whole pregnancy and the whole birth. It was just a horrible time. But the demon was really happy to use her body to give birth to a child, but for a brief second, she was able to take control and poured a bunch of road salt down her throat, and it caused the demon to leave. And it left her with this baby that she sort of wanted to kill, but she didn't. She put him up for adoption. And Dean asks, “Who’s the father?” And she says, “I was a virgin,” which I guess means that there was no other physical human body involved in Jesse's creation, like [G: Yeah. It's the demon.] the demon was just able to do something. Yeah. I don't know, they show flashbacks of the pregnancy, too. So it's very- I don't know. You see her scream. It's all very disturbing, I suppose. She asks after Jesse, “Is he human,” and Dean goes, like, “His name is Jesse. He lives in Alliance, Nebraska, and he’s a good kid.” And then Sam and Dean just leave without telling her about anti-possession tattoos. [G: Literally!] They could have drawn one on her with a marker. That would have saved the whole situation, I think. Or devil's traps, or anything like that. Especially later, when Cas tells them like, “Oh, the demons are gonna be after this kid,” someone should have called her and told her something.

C: Danica and I often talk about how, like, if some hunters, if their only job was instead just to like, graffiti-tag places with, like, devil's traps and like, try to get anti-possession tattoos trending on TikTok, like, that would probably do way better than literally anything Sam and Dean do solo.

C: Dean says that they need help, and when they return to the motel, Cas is there! [G: Ah!] They called him.

G: He's so cute, too! He's so cute. He's extra cute this episode.

C: Yeah, it's to make up for the fact that all he does is be an asshole.

G: He tries to kill a kid, yeah.

C: [laughing] I was just thinking about him blaming Sam for the apocalypse, but you're right. He also tried to kill a kid. [laughs]

G: It is so funny, like, the entire time he was talking to Sam, I was like, "Rich for the guy who let Sam out."

C: Yeah, who opened the door! Like, come on. I mean, this is just the whole like, "Oh my god, Dean, you made me lose all my powers, 'cause you made me help you!" [laughs] Like, this is just him blaming everybody else for choices that he made and wanted to make. Though he didn't want to make the Sam choice to let him out of the room. [G: Yeah.] Cas says that "It's lucky that you found the boy 'cause we have to kill him." And Dean's like, "Cas." And Cas says that, you know, this child who's half demon and half human, is way more powerful than either. "You know him as the Antichrist." And then, you know, he sits down on the whoopee cushion, and it's just not particularly funny, but Dean goes like, "Who put that there?" [G laughs]

G: And Cas goes, "That was not me."

C: Okay, so you think this is funny.

G: Well, I think it's- I think they're cute. Like, the three of them. It's Team Free Will! Oh my god! It's Team Free Will.

C: It's true. It is Team Free Will.

G: And Cas tries to kill a kid. #TeamFreeWill!

C: Does try to kill a kid.He used his free will to try to kill a kid. Good for him. [both laugh] Wasn't this the scene where like, fucking Misha Collins was like, "I don't think this is, like, befitting of the dignity of an angel. [G laughs] I don't wanna do it."

G: Is that true?

C: Did I make that up? Maybe I made it up.

G: I don't think that's true. Maybe you thought it. Maybe [laughing] you're the physical manifestation of Misha Collins.

C: No, don't you dare say that! [G laughs] Jesse is not, like, Lucifer's son. He's just demon spawn, but also one of the devil's greatest weapons in the war against Heaven. And the demons are looking for him. Oh, this is the part. Dean says they lost him "because," and Cas says, "Because of the child's power, it hides him from both angels and demons. For now." And Dean says, "So, he's got like, a forcefield around him," and no! Dean, suspicion slides off him like whatever it is water slides off of. Know your lines better, bro! Soon, he's gonna get more powerful and more powerful until the demons notice him and "Lucifer twists him to his purpose. And then, with a word, he will destroy the host of Heaven." Cas goes, "We cannot allow that to happen." I thought we didn't really like the angels that much. Or at least Dean doesn't. But I guess Cas is an angel.

G: Because the angels here is Michael. So if it's Michael vs Lucifer-

C: Then vote third party! [laughs] But yeah, what's up?

G: If Lucifer is superpowered, then he could just easily defeat Michael. [C: Yeah, that's true.] Which means the Apocalypse would start earlier or whatever. I'm not sure the logic of this.

C: Yeah, I'm not certain. And then [laughs] Sam says the funniest line in the entire episode, like, I had to pause because I was laughing too hard. He goes, "Wait," and he stands up, and he goes, [both] "We're the good guys. We don't just... kill children." [both laugh]

G: Iconic!

C: Ha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Incredibly funny behavior. "We're the good guys" is such a funny- I just cannot imagine a scenario where I would say, "We're the good guys," or think "We're the good guys." It's just- whatever. You could just say, like, "I'm against killing children." You don't have to be like, "It's against my image as a good guy to kill a child." [laughs] Yeah, "I don't want to get canceled on Twitter over killing a child!" And Cas turns to him with a glare. He says, "A year ago, you would have done whatever it took to win this war." like, drinking demon blood, personally, not even doing anything to anyone else about it, is equivalent to killing an 11-year-old! And the thing is like, Sam was like, "I think Dean was right. I'm gonna turn back," like, the moment that he had to drink blood out of, like, a conscious, like, adult woman. Like, he would not have killed a child a year ago. Yeah. But Sam apparently is like, "This is a correct-"

G: Fair comparison, yeah.

C: 'Cause he just goes, "Things change." And, you know, tension is crackling non-sexually, sadly, and Dean sort of steps forward-

G: You think this is nonsexual tension? I was like, "When are they gonna hatefuck?"

C: You think it's sexual? Maybe it is. Maybe it is.

G: Maybe that's what makes them good in bed. [laughs]

C: Maybe it is! So Dean steps forward, and he sort of puts himself between them, and he puts a hand on Sam's arm, which I guess is, like, a nice sort of like- I can't tell if it's like a- I think it is probably a "I'm on Sam's side here" sort of gesture. So that's helpful. That's a that's a good turn of events. And he says, like, "We're not going to kill him. But we can't leave him here, either, so we'll take him to Bobby's. He'll know what to do." Can't they call Bobby and ask him what to do-

G: Right now? Literally.

C: - if Bobby will know what to do? And Cas goes, "You'll kidnap him?" which, like, literally. Like, literally. Good point.

G: He's like, "I can accept murder during children, but I draw the line at kidnapping them." [laughs] [C: Exactly.] And he literally does! He explains his reasoning too.

C: Yeah, he does. Good for him. Oh, Cas! In like, less than 10 years, you're gonna be such a good dad to the Antichrist Part 2.

G: Yeah, that is something that I thought about a lot this episode. Like, Jack. Like, this is the precursor to Jack. This is before Jack.

C: I miss Jack. I look forward to meeting them.

G: I do. I do miss Jack.

C: Cas, who has previously been using he/him pronouns mostly for Jesse, like, switches to [G: It, yeah.] it/its like, so fast, which I guess is just, you know, him trying to [G: Dehumanize.] convince them and also convince himself, yeah. He goes, "What's going on this time is what happens when this thing is happy. You cannot imagine what it will do when it's angry." And then he goes back to "him" where he goes like, "How will you hold him? With a thought, he could be halfway around the world." Foreshadowing! Dean starts with "So we-" but then Sam interrupts, and he goes, "So we tell him the truth. [G: Agh!] You say Jesse is destined to go dark side. Fine." Yeah. "So if we lay it all out for him: what he is, the Apocalypse, everything, he might make the right choice." Oh, Sam! Sam!

G: The thing about Sam is he thinks this is what happened with him, and he made the wrong choice. [C: Yeah.] But like, not everything was laid out for him!

C: Yeah, exactly. Like, he was not given the information. He was given false information on purpose from like, Cas [G: Yeah.] as well as, like, Ruby, and the rest of the angels.

G: And he was on the lookout, and he still got tricked.

C: Aw, Sam! It's a nice moment. But then, see, the thing is like, right, like, we said the point of it is that Sam says "We give him all the information" because the point is that Sam wasn't given all the information, but then Cas does the false equivalency thing again, and they don't seem to question it. At no point do they, like, actually make the connection that I thought they were trying to make, which is that Sam was not given all the information. [laughs] It's confusing. I don't know what they're going for, exactly.

G: Yeah. Well, Cas is being a hater is what they're going for.

C: Cas being a hater. Cas goes, "You didn't." Which, again, not the same situation at all. And he goes, "And I can't take that chance."

G: It is fun!

C: And then Cas immediately disappears.

G: It is fun that Cas doesn't have any pretenses about mirrors. Like, he knows exactly what Sam is doing here, and he's just like, "You're projecting." And he does it- you know, like, he does it- We've talked about how he always brings up John when he's talking to Dean, and he's talking about, like, God because he's like, "And that's the mirror in this situation!" Like, he loves to connect the dots, and he loves to be explicit about it. Good for him.

C: Yeah. Yeah. He'd be great at making parallels gifsets on Tumblr.

G: Literally! He should make AMVs. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. Cas can drop by. I'll show him how to use Vegas Pro 14.

G: I'll show him how to use Inshot. [both laugh]

G: So we go to Julia. She's just about to enter her house. Like, she has unlocked the doors and stuff, when suddenly, the mailman is in front of her. And she got surprised a bit. But this is obviously a guy she trusts, so she's like, "Oh, sorry I'm having a jittery day and all that." And the mailman is like, "Oh, yeah, that'll happen if you talk to the Winchesters," and it's like, "Ooh, this is a demon." And it is. And the mailman is saying like, "We've been watching you. You gave away the kid. We don't know where the kid was. But now we do, because the Winchesters told you blah blah blah. So now let's go to your kid." And then the demon possesses her. And oh, by the way, it's made explicit that this is the demon that was possessing her before.

C: Yeah. Yeah. It's quite bad. Like, they they do do a lot of the sexual assault imagery in the form of the possession, like, you know, he calls her "sweetheart," and he possesses her by bringing their mouths really, really close, so that the demon smoke can go into her mouth. It- yeah. Very sorry that this happened to her. [G: Yeah.] And again, I think it's fine that they did this. I think it's like, an interesting concept, and I think it makes sense to connect it to sexual assault. It's just that the fact that after this happens, like, she never gets to be conscious and speaking again. Like, that is the issue.

G: Yeah, like, I think it's interesting. Really. I really do. But-

C: I think it's a good plot. It's just that-

G: They don't follow through.

C: - they discard her immediately. Like, the narrative does.

G: Yeah. I feel like that is something this episode highly lacks. Like, I feel like a lot of stuff just don't have any good conclusion. [C: Yeah.] Like, Jesse is a good concept. Julia, good concept. Like, pretty much every- like, the case is a good concept. It's just all the followthroughs are like, "Okay, where are we now?" Cas. Cas doesn't even have like a, "Now I realize" portion. He's just like, "Okay, that's it. He's in Australia."

C: [laughs] 'Cause he didn't realize. He was like, "There's nothing we can do about it. I'd still kill that kid if I could!"

G: Yeah, he's like, "Ugh, dammit! I wanted to kill that kid so bad!" That was his realization.

C: Exactly.

G: Now we are at Jesse's house, and his parents are here now, but they're upstairs, asleep, and he's downstairs getting a fucking cup of water. And as he's walking out, [laughs] Cas appears, and he has his hand tucked away behind him. [both laugh] [C: So funny.] And I was like, "That's so cute! That's so cute." And then we-

C: Oh, you didn't know it was 'cause there was a knife?

G: And then we go have a shot of his back, and it's because he's holding a knife, and I was like, "Slay! Good for you, Castiel." [C: Good for him.] So he's like, "Oh, don't worry. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you." Liar! Or maybe- Also, this is Ruby's knife.

C: Yes, yes, 'cause the kid is half demon.

G: So he stole it- [C: Yeah, he stole it.] Earlier, we see it on Dean, and the reason why I say this is because this was before they entered Jesse's house the first time. 'Cause it was just- the shot was just their bodies, right? So like, they're walking and walking, and somebody pulls aside his jacket, and you see the knife slung around his waist, and I was like, "Oh, that's so cool! Sam's carrying the knife, Sam's carrying the knife!" And then we pan up, and it's not Sam, it's Dean, and I was like, "Oh, okay. [C: Aw!] That's so sad." [laughs] But it also does mean that Cas stole it from Dean specifically, which is pretty funny to me. [C: Mm.] Well, he should have stolen it from Sam. [C: Should have.] Just another thing that he will never tell Sam about forever and ever. [both laugh] Yeah, maybe this is why Sam and Cas were never endgame. This is just not something they can get past.

C: The knife stealing that didn't happen?

G: No, you know what? The knife stealing that did not happen. They can never get past it. But also, like, [laughs] letting Sam out of that fucking room. [C: Yeah. That's fair.] It was the first betrayal.

Jesse calls for his mom and dad, but Cas is like, "Well, they're sleeping, and they won't be waking up anytime soon." [both laughing] God! To be fair- [laughing]

C: I love this guy.

G: To be fair, Cas looks apologetic, and he does say, "I'm sorry." He says, "I'm so [both] sowwy!" Sowwy! And then he raises his knife, and then, just as he is about to stab, Sam and Dean enter. And they ask, "Okay, is there a guy here with a trenchcoat?" And Jesse just points down, and there's a guy in a trenchcoat that's an action figure! [C: Fuck yeah.] And it's like, they really stylize this to hell and back. Like, the trenchcoat is so fluffy.

C: It's billowing, yeah. The face doesn't really look like Cas, though.

G: Yeah, I'll accept it. It's cute.

C: God bless.

C: Okay, so they're chatting now. Jesse asks Dean, "Was he-" like, Cas- "Was he your friend?" And Dean goes [G, laughing: And Dean denies it.], "No! No!"

G: [laughing] Just like Jesus. Denied like Jesus for fucking real.

C: Jesse goes like, "How did I do that?" And Dean starts off- like, Dean's strategy is just lying his entire ass off. And I think in certain situations, it would work. But because this is the Sam mirror episode, where it's like, you do have to tell this kid the truth, it doesn't eventually work out. [G: Yeah.] But at the beginning, Jesse seems kind of taken in by this story, where Dean says that he's a superhero-

G: Just like the X-Men.

C: "And Sam and I work for a secret government agency, so we're gonna take you to a hidden base in South Dakota, where you'll be trained to fight evil." Just like the X-men.

G: And also, he even says, "Bobby is in a wheelchair."

C: Bobby's in a wheelchair just like- Dr. X?

G: Yeah. That's the reference, right? [C: Yeah.] Or is it Magneto? I know nothing about the X-men.

C: I don't know. I think Danica said it was Dr. X or something. I'm gonna look it up.

G: Well, aren't they gay and dating?

C: Who?

G: Magneto and Dr. X. Yes or no. Let's answer this once and for all.

C: Oh, this is so horrible. I looked up "Dr. X images," and it's just porn. [both laughing] I fully should have foreseen this. Oh, okay.

G: It's Professor X!

C: Yeah, he's in a wheelchair. Professor X. I see.

G: Professor X x Magneto. Let's look it up. Are they in love?

C: I feel like we would know.

G: No, I'm pretty sure they're gay.

C: Like, for real?

G: Yeah. Oh, they're like, old besties. [laughs]

C: So, basically the same thing.

G: Yeah, they're old friends, just like, When Harry Met Sally.

C: Harry and Sally.

G: Yeah, okay, they're gay. We have decided once and for all. [C laughs] Congratulations to all Magneto x Professor X shippers.

C: And Dean says, "You'll be a hero. You'll save lives. You'll get the girl. Sounds like fun, right?" Dean Winchester-

G: Will say anything.

C: - What do you think that people want? I mean, maybe Jesse does want to get the girl, but I would not assume that that was a high priority for this 11-year-old who lives alone and all we know about him is that he thinks that itching powder will make you scratch your brains out. Yeah, Jesse, you know, again, seems to be taken in by this, but then suddenly, the demon who's possessing Julia, his birth mother, comes in.

G: Smashes open the door.

C: Flings Dean against the wall, yeah, flings Sam against the wall, says, "They're lying to you." and also tells Sam that like, under orders, it can't hurt him, but hurting Dean is encouraged. Slay. And Jesse yells, "Leave him alone!" The demon starts talking to him, saying that he has his father's eyes. Untrue. They're not completely black. [laughs] I don't know what you're talking about. The demon says, "I'm your mother." and "You're half human, half one of us." And Dean, who has completely given up the superhero gig, goes, "She means demons, Jesse!" The demon starts saying that the people who are Jesse's parents lied to him, and also probably don't love him because they leave him alone all day.

G: I mean, [laughs] they really do leave him alone all day.

C: Yeah, I wish- If we just had seen more interactions, I feel like we'd get a better handle on what kind of a parent-child relationship this is, and that would make more sense for Jesse's emotional journey, but we do not. [G: Yeah.] Alas. The demon says like, you know, "They lied about the Tooth Fairy and how your toys could hurt you and a bunch of other things. Everyone has lied to you, including Sam and Dean. They're not FBI agents, and you're not a superhero. Meanwhile you're powerful, and you can do anything you want. Everyone else treated you like a child, and they didn't trust you. But like, aren't you angry about that?"And Jesse causes, like, the fire in the fireplace to flare up, and the house is shaking. The demon says that Jesse should come with them and just start over in a world without lies. Which- isn't that something Jack does? [C: Yes.] Doesn't he make it so that no one can lie?

G: Exactly, yeah. [C: Yeah, yeah, I remember I read that.] He makes that a reality.

C: Yeah, so this really is the precursor to Jack.

G: God, and it's gonna be Season 13! It's gonna be so long!

C: So far in the future. The whole time, Dean's been yelling, like, "Hey, don't listen to her! Don't listen to her." And, you know, it's not working. But then, finally, Sam speaks, 'cause, again this is his mirror, and he goes, "She's right. We lied to you. But I'll tell you the truth. I just want to- tell-" [G laughs] And he's like, starting to get strangled by the demon. [G: Yeah.] But Jesse goes, [both] "Stop it. I want to hear what he has to say." Sam stands up, and he's very lovely. He apologizes for lying, he introduces himself properly. He says, "We hunt monsters," and then the demon just says, "Except when you are the monster, right, Sammy?" Completely unnecessary. Also, Dean did hunt him, honestly.

G: Yeah, what should be said here was, "Yeah. And that's why you're looking for this kid."

C: Yeah, like, "So you're gonna- So that's why you're gonna kill Jesse! Jesse, don't listen to him! He's gonna kill you!" Like, that's the obvious thing to say.

G: But they DGAF about that. I don't know. Some of the- again, some of the conclusions of this episode are mind-boggling.

C: Very strange, I agree. But Sam ignores the demon, and he says, "And that woman right there, her name is Julia, and she's your mother. But the thing inside of her is a demon." And, you know, the demon's still like, "He's not telling the truth. Don't listen to him." but Jesse forces the demon to sit down. And then Sam explains that there's a war between angels and demons, and Jesse is a part of it, and Jesse goes, "I'm just a kid."

G: Aw.

C: Aw. Were there times when you were a kid that you thought the sentence, "I'm just a kid," though? I feel like it's something that adults put on kids.

G: Yeah. Yes.

C: You have thought the sentence, "I'm just a kid?"

G: I think mostly when people say "That's just a kid" about other kids. And I'm like, "Well, me too!" So I don't know if this is an appropriate thing to think for Jesse, but it it seems to be something that has been on his head, like, being a kid and all that [C: Yeah, that's true.] because it was brought up earlier.

C: 'Cause, yeah, earlier, there was the whole like, "I'm not a kid" when Sam calls him a kid, and then the demon recently was like, "Everyone treated you like a kid." So yeah, I guess he has been chewing on that for a while, and he has landed on, "I am just a kid." Sam says, "You can go with her if you want. I can't stop you. No one can. But if you do, millions of people will die." And yeah, this is him just giving him the information and hoping that he'll make the right choice. It's nice. If this was an adult, they would have killed him by now, [G: Definitely.] but like, it is good to have different standards for adults and kids, I think. I just think that their standards for adults should be a little laxer as well. Jesse goes, "She said I was half-demon. Is that true?" And Supernatural, which cannot drop its biological determinism [laughs] for a single second, goes, "Yes, but you're half-human, too." Demons are also human. Like, they literally- [G: Yeah.] if we're gonna play on Supernatural's playing ground, demons were also human. I don't- whatever. It's fine. And also, obviously, just the biological determinism in general is dumb as fuck. Like, the only thing that the demon, like, "genetics" or whatever gave him was powers. It doesn't mean that you're an asshole automatically. [G: Yeah.] All of this was, like, created through trauma. He tells Jesse, like, "You can do the right thing, and you've got choices. But if you make the wrong ones, it will haunt you for the rest of your life." And Jesse goes, "You're trying to mirror me, aren't you?" [G, laughing: Yes. For real!] He goes, "Why are you telling me this?" And Sam says, "Yes, I'm trying to mirror you." 'cause he says, "Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't." You know what? Good for him. [G laughs] If him doing this is, like, helpful to Jesse, then there we go. [G: There we go!] Good for him. And Jesse thinks for a second, and then he demands that the demon possessing his birth mother gets out of her, and it does. And then Jesse is just standing there, and Dean goes like, "How'd you do that?" Jesse said, "I just did it." Dean goes, "Kid, you're awesome." He should have said, "Little boy? [both] Little boy?" [laughs] And yeah, Julia is passed out for the rest of the episode, as I've complained about multiple times, but I'll complain about it again. [G: Yeah.] What the fuck?

G: Yeah. Like, all we get from her is like, Jesse asking, "Is she gonna be all right?" And Dean being like, "Eventually." Which, like, let her speak for herself! [C: Yeah.] Give her a fucking tattoo!

C: Yeah. For real. Also, when Jesse leaves, is she gonna wake up in the house and the parents are gonna wake up with a note on Jesse's bed saying, like, "I left. Sorry." and there's this woman they've never met before- they're gonna think-

G: Maybe Castiel magicked her.

C: Yeah, maybe. I hope so. 'Cause they're gonna think that she killed him or some shit [G: Yeah.] when they find out how that its birth mother. They'll be like, "You kidnapped him, or you came back here to like, kill him or do something to him," and, like, she's gonna be miserable.

G: Dean is now holding [laughs] the Cas action figure. And yeah, he goes, to Jesse, “Well, the truth is, he's kind of a buddy of mine. Is there any way you could turn him back?” And Jesse just goes, “He tried to kill me.” And Dean [C: Like, for real.] goes, “Right. Well, he's a good guy. He was confused.” [both laughing] He literally says “He's just a little guy! He's a little guy!”

C: It’s his birthday, he’s just a little birthday boy!

G: Yeah, maybe this is Dean’s blorbo from his action figures set. What's that? "Well, I forgive him because he has anxiety and his dick is 10 inches long." So true. [C: Yeah, "and throbbing, and I want him to fuck me." Yeah.] Yeah. But only after Season 5. [laughs]

C: What's- Oh, yeah, because that's when Jimmy dies, yeah.

G: [laughs] Yeah, And then Dean finally gives up when Jesse says nothing. And he’s like, “Okay, well, it's been a long night. We'll talk about it next time.” [laughs] [C: Good.] It’s so funny! That is a buddy of his. Jesse asks, “What do we do now?” And Sam and Dean are saying, like, “We will get you somewhere safe.” Dean says, “You'll be handy in a fight, kid.” And Jesse goes, “What if I don't want to fight?” And Sam says, “Well, you're so powerful, and you're more powerful than anything we've ever seen. That makes you-” And Jesse goes, “I'm gonna really push the Sam mirroring this episode,” [C laughing] and he goes, “A freak?” And Sam’s like, “Well, to some people, but not to us. See, we're kind of freaks ourselves.” And then we see a shot of-

C: Don’t you dare- Dean cannot reclaim! [G laughs] Dean cannot reclaim. You do not get to give Dean the honorary freak card. Dean is not a freak. He would not self-identify as a freak, [G laughing] and he doesn't deserve to have the title "freak," given how he treats people that he views as freaks, and how he treated you when he viewed you as a freak. [G: Literally.] Wrong! Sam's allowed to be a freak, Dean is not. He is not part of this shit. Get him out of here.

G: Jesse is finally realizing the gravity of the situation, that he'll have to leave his family behind. And he says, “I don't want to,” but Sam says, “You’re gonna be putting them in danger, so.” And Dean mentions John, and he says, “Our dad, he would take us with him wherever he went, and he's dead now. A demon killed him.” What is [laughs] the throughline here?

C: 'Cause Jesse wants to take his parents with him?

G: I know, but the way this analogy is happening [C: Oh yeah, what’s the logic?] like, what is the logic behind it?

C: Yeah, 'cause Sam and Dean are the parents in this situation, [G: Yeah.] the people who are being brought along. So it's like, “Jesse, you'll die if you bring your parents with you”? What is this? [G: Yeah, but whatever.] Yeah, I think it's just being with your family and a group like that leaves any of you vulnerable, or whatever.

G: Yeah. But Jesse asks, “What should I do?” And Sam says, “We can't tell you. It's your choice. It's not fair. I know.” Jesse goes, “Well, I'm going to say goodbye to my parents.” So he goes.

C: Yeah. And not to Julia, not once.

G: He looks at his parents’ bed, and then he goes to his room, and then [laughs] he goes to fucking Australia. [both laughing]

C: He said, “I want to be Chase from House sooo bad.”

G: He literally said, “I'm gonna be Jesse Spencer.” Maybe this is Jesse Spencer's origin story!

C: Yeah, I would believe that Jesse's parents are- what? Like, far-right politicians? [G: Yeah.] Given all the bullshit they've been spouting at him, yeah.

G: Yeah, Sam is like, “Oh, he's been there so long. Let's go check on him.” [C: Yeah. Maybe he’s fireproof.] [both laugh] And they do. They enter the room, and the kid is gone, and Cas, who is now back to being not an action figure, goes, “He's gone.” Cas says he doesn't know where he is, he just vanished, and he put everyone in town who was still alive back together. And they notice this sign- I mean, they notice the note on the bed, which says, “I have to leave to keep my parents safe. Sowwy.” [laughs] And Cas says, “Well, we can't find him anymore, because he doesn't want to be found, so therefore we can’t.” They're driving out now, and Sam and Dean are having a conversation where Dean asks- [C: Which is just a worse version of the 1.18 conversation.] Yeah, I don't even know- Yeah. But Dean goes, “You think Jesse’s gonna be okay?” And Sam’s like, “Well, I hope so.” And Dean says, “We destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth.”

C: Like, no, the lying was actually what caused all the problems. And also, you didn’t tell him the truth for most of it, it was the demon.

G: No, you know what this is a parallel to? It was telling Sam the truth about having monsters.

C: Yeah, which is also what 1.18 was sort of about.

G: Yeah. So, I don't know. Like, I see the throughline now that I think about it. Here's the conclusion Dean gets, 'cause Sam says, “We didn't have a choice, Dean,” and Dean says, “Yeah, but I'm starting to see why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is mixing pop rocks and coke, protect them from the real evil. [C: That doesn’t make any sense as a sentence.] You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. The more I think about it, the more I wish that Dad had lied to us.” And Sam goes, “Yeah, me, too.” And I don't know. It's just- is this the conclusion to the episode? It's very-

C: We need to know more about his parents- about Jesse’s parents, to know anything. It's good to say that, to lie about that shit? It's not, though! It literally caused people to die. And we have no proof that it's "hiding him from the real evil" or whatever.

G: Yeah, like, maybe he also knows about werewolves. Who fucking knows? [C: Yeah.] But the thing here- This is a fine conversation to have, in this episode even. [C: For this episode? Really?] But for the last scene of the episode? [C: Yeah.] This could be a conversation they maybe have-

C: This is an episode about telling the truth, and how lying caused the problems.

G: This could be something that's in the middle of the episode, you know, [C: Yes.] as they're processing it, they have this conversation, and it could be meaningful. It's just because it's at the very end. [C: Right.] It has no music. [C: So this is the takeaway.] It has no music. It continues on to the credits, no music, and it's like, they're trying to do something here, and it just doesn't work [C: It does not.] because this is not the place or time in the episode anymore to be having this discussion. [C: Right.] So, yeah.

G: Well, what did we think about this episode?

C: I think it was pretty good. [G: I think it was good.] It just didn't wrap things up very nicely. [G: Very niceys, yeah.] It failed at all that.

G: Failed at that. But otherwise, I think it's a fun episode. Or at least it was characteristic of what makes Supernatural enjoyable to watch on an episode-to-episode basis. Well, Best Line/Worst Line.

C: The line where Sam says, “So we tell him the truth," and all of that, and yeah, "If we lay it all out for him, he might make the right choice.” It's nice. Oh, Sam.

G: Well, I would put that also, but because you already put it, I'll just say, I like the "buddy of mine." “He's kind of a buddy of mine.” [C: That’s cute, yeah.] I think it's cute. I think it is cute. The worst line, I think the “Eventually.” When Jesse asked, “Is she gonna be okay?” and Dean says, “Eventually.” I hated that.

C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I think it is supposed to be a thing where Dean automatically wanted to say “Sure, yes.” But then he's like, “I'm gonna tell the truth and say 'eventually' instead,” but it's like, this should not be about how Dean deciding to tell the truth to Jesse. This is about Julia! but it's not, 'cause Daniel Loflin and Andrew Dabb just hate women so much. [G: Yeah.] Yeah, I agree with that one. That is my main issue with the eppysode.

G: Okay, well, what's our spreadsheets? Spread those sheets.

C: I feel like dropping the ball on Julia deserves like, a point. Like, not that many 'cause I don't think it's intrinsic. It's just the-

G: I think it's 2. I think it's intermingling with- between intrinsic and not. [C: Yeah, yeah.] Racism is 0. [C: Yes.] And homophobia, how would you like to read this?

C: The Tooth Fairy, I think, counts as a mix of transmisogyny and homophobia. I think if we had more clarity on exactly what was up, we would be able to better classify it.

G: Yeah. I think this kind of falls under my “Just because they have a character who is queer or presents as queer doesn't make it homophobic,” but I think I can safely say that this is supposed to be a funny thing.

C: I think we’re supposed to think that this character is so scary and weird [G: Yeah.] And it adds to the scariness and weirdness [G: Because it's weird, yeah.] because it’s a man wearing a tutu. A 1 makes sense. Great.

G: So how about our IMDb? Or IMDb guesses?

C: I need to not do such a bad job this time. This is a case of- “Fallen Idols” was low, but partly because I hated Paris Hilton. I think it's pretty good, and I feel like the concept would be interesting to people, but they might also find the Sam mirror stuff irritating because a lot of people don't like Sam right now. So I'm gonna put it below “Free to be You and Me.”

G: People do? I thought it was just me!

C: Okay, maybe just that one person.

G: [laughing] It was just me and that one IMDb reviewer.

C: Yeah. So okay, I'm gonna go 0.1 below “Free to be You and Me.” I'm gonna go with an 8.4.

G: I'm also actually going to go with an 8.4. But should I change it for some variety?

C: No, we can do the same thing as long as [G: Okay.] as long as you were thinking it beforehand. Yeah, it doesn't do anything for our competition, though.

G: Yeah, I'm still winning, I think.

C: Oh, definitely, I think.

G: Okay, let's see. Ha! It's an 8.5. We're both near.

C: Okay, okay. So I benchmarked it alright. That's good to know.

G: Yeah, people wish they revisited the concept later.

C: Yeah, 'cause it seems like Jesse could come back, they could run into him again.

G: Yeah, we never see Jesse again after all these years.

C: Or if there were more Antichrists created or something? Yeah.

G: Yeah. This one says that “the conversations with the kid were boring and a little cringey.” We have a Sam mirror hater in the house.

C: Yeah, they don't understand.

G: This one doesn't have many reviews.

C: Yeah. Yeah, no one’s saying shit.

G: To be fair, prior to this we had “Fallen Idols,” and prior to this we had “The End,” and prior to this we had “Free to be You and Me,” so you understand that those ones are going to be review-heavy, and this one probably isn’t.

C: This one says that “Cas is obviously confused, as Dean puts it. He is alone now, with no orders to guide him, and he must figure out how to manage on his own. But he's stumbling along the way” is how they characterize his decision to kill that kid. [G: Yeah.] I think Cas just really just did want to kill that kid. [laughs] I don't know if he was stumbling. I think he’s just a guy who wants to kill that kid.

G: Perhaps. I think Cas may just want to kill a kid. Any kid, really.

C: Yeah. Oh, and they're congratulating the actress for Julia for doing a really good job playing both the demon and Julia. That's true. I didn't even think about it as they're the same actors. They were very good.

G: There are performances that are very good on Supernatural in terms of possession, where I'm just like, “Oh, that's just a different actor.” [C: Yeah.] It's literally not. But this is one of them. Yeah, it was really good.

C: Yeah, no, that was good.

G: Yeah, so I think that’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 5, Episode 7: "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

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iwannawritelots · 3 years ago

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Live By the Sword

Originally written October 2021

Masterlist

Genre: erm, I’m not really sure

Ship(s): Lucifer X MC

(genderless MC)

(requested)

Trigger/content warnings: it gets a bit suggestive but nothing too bad

Headcanons/notes from the author: Lucifer, avatar of seeing MC be hot and imploding.

Brief Blurb: Lucifer sees a video of MC sword fighting a demon and confronts them about the hidden ability.

Lucifer's mouth was agape, disbelief written in his whole body language as he watched the last part of the Devilgram video. You, the human the demon brothers longed for, holding a demon captive in your mercy. The sword you held pointed to the demon's throat. "Had enough yet? Or should I finish you off?"

He didn't believe his brothers when they had told him you beat a demon in a duel. Sure, when you had performed the TSL musical, it was evident you had experience with swordsmanship... but he hadn't expected this. Slowly, he handed Asmodeus his phone, staring at his desk as thoughts raced through his head. "Where is _____ now?"

"They're in their room. They came home with me." He twirled a lock of hair around his finger and bit his lip, humming with thought. "It was so... mesmerizing in person. The video doesn't give nearly as much feeling as the real thing."

A small twinge of jealousy snapped in Lucifer's chest. He felt stupid feeling such a way over this, but... the least he could do is tell you how impressed he was. "I'm going to go see them. You mind your own business." He stood, eying his little brother. "Seriously. Go paint your nails or something."

Lucifer made his way towards your room, trying to figure out what to say. What was he supposed to say in the first place, really? Slowly, he approached your bedroom door, then knocked carefully to avoid scaring you. He felt his stomach flutter when you opened the door, half undressed from your uniform. "Lucifer? Did I do something?"

"Yes, actually. I wanted to talk to you about the video spreading all over social media." He flickered his gaze away from you, attempting to contain himself. It wasn't even all that revealing, but for whatever reason only partial uniform felt risqué to him. "It can wait until you have finished changing, however..."

The statement caused you to look down, and your face filled with confusion. "It's just a shirt and pants?"

He cleared his throat, then exhaled for a long moment before returning his gaze to you. "I only meant to be polite, since I interrupted you."

"You are so weird." You leaned against the doorframe. "Anyways, what's the big deal with the video?"

He perked an eyebrow. "You don't know why I'm bringing this up at all?"

"Well I know someone filmed me dueling that demon but it's not a huge deal." You shrugged a little. "They couldn't get a single hit on me, if that's what you're worried about."

"No, I watched the video. I know they did not hurt you." He laid a hand on your shoulder. "Your skill was very impressive. Why hadn't you mentioned your experience to me sooner? I'd be much less concerned for your safety."

Still not at all understanding why he was making a fuss, you blinked. "I didn't think it was a huge deal. Plus it's not like I can carry around a sword all the time, that's silly."

"It is not silly." He huffed. "This whole time I've been concerned about demons attempting to eat you, while you had a self defense ability? I could have very well gotten Lord Diavolo to cooperate and allow you to carry a sword."

You blinked a few more times, then the realization hit you hard. "Oh."

He hummed, running his fingers down your jaw. "Besides that matter... I am very proud of you for standing your ground, despite that kind of behavior being a pain in my ass most of the time. You troublemaker." He cupped your cheek, and your face heated up. "While I... do attempt to keep my hands to myself as much as I can, I will admit it was... seductive to watch you perform so diligently." You watched him step closer, his cheeks slightly red. "Is this... okay?"

You giggled, then pulled him closer to yourself, before pressing your lips against his. The avatar of pride blushed, deepening the kiss and cupping the back of your head. You felt your face flush even more, biting at his bottom lip with the smallest bit of desperation. He complied to the gesture, opening his mouth for you and mewling quietly once your tongues touched.

This would have gone on for a while, but you heard a camera shutter snap. Both of you broke away from each other, then caught Asmodeus' figure escaping around the corner. "ASMODEUS."

#darlingqueue #lucifer x mc #mc x lucifer #lucifer #luci #mc #gn mc #obey me! one master to rule them all #obey me! shall we date?#obey me!#obey me #omomtrta #omswd #om!#om #fanfiction #fanfic #darlingficsbycinna #iwannawritelots

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago

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The Coordinates Of My Heart ~ JJK [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, established relationship

PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!reader

It was no secret that Jungkook had tattoos all over his body, everyone had seen them by now but not every single tattoo that covered him. There was one very secret tattoo that nobody except for you and Jungkook knew about...Well, you, Jungkook and his ex-girlfriend that was. It was only a small tattoo on his left peck but it was one of the biggest mistakes Jungkook had ever made in his life, the whole time he was getting his collection of tattoos he swore he would never have someone's name tattooed onto his body and yet there it sat. Black ink across his peck with her name in cursive writing with a small heart attached at the end, "SeoJun" The tattoo bothered you a lot but you would never let that show in front of Jungkook. You'd been dating for almost three years now so you never brought it up except for the first time he showed you. He wanted you to know that she meant nothing to him anymore but that it was there and something he had to deal with.

It was still a crushing feeling to see another girls name tattooed on his body and him always saying that he would never do it again, never tattoo a name across him anywhere on his body. You knew he was thinking rationally but there was a part of you inside that cried out to know why he wouldn't put your name on himself instead but the other part of you thought rationally. He probably didn't want to chance it by getting your name tattooed anywhere on himself and having the relationship fall through.

"Baby I'm so tired," Jungkook groaned that morning as he walked down the stairs to you in the living room he was shirtless and wearing a pair of shorts, you were trying to convince him to go swimming with you. It was his week off from the studio, he took it off to spend time with you but for the last six days he'd done nothing but lay in bed gaming or go out to dinner with his friends, or hang out with the boys.

"I'm only asking for this one thing baby...Please! I don't want to go alone." You giggled to him as you tugged on his hands trying to convince him to go with you, he looked at you tiredly as he shook his head.

"I'm busy today," He mumbled as he took his arm out of your grasp, ignoring the look of confusion written across your face as he walked into the kitchen. Jungkook hadn't told you he'd made plans with anyone which was why you'd woken him up in the first place if you'd have known he was busy you would have left him. Following after him, you went into the kitchen and he began to make himself something to eat,

"Busy with what? We haven't hung out all week, you said you took the week off to spend time with me." You uttered you knew it probably sounded as though you were being childish but right now you didn't care, you'd missed your boyfriend and this week it felt like you saw him less than you did when he was actually working.

"I actually said I took the week off to relax, so far I haven't done any of that." He grumbled as he began pouring himself a bowl of cereal, not meeting your eyes as he spoke. Rolling your eyes at him you shook your head,

"You've relaxed plenty, all you've done is game and sleep...As well as go to lunch, or spent time with friends...W-What if we went for walk instead? Namjoon said he found this really cute hiking trail..." You trailed off when you realised Jungkook was more interested in the phone that was sitting in his hand than he was in listening to you talk to him. The thought of him ignoring you was heartbreaking enough, you began to overthink everything, maybe he was getting bored of being with you...

"But of course, I wouldn't want to take you away from what is really important." You grumbled to him referring to the phone before storming out of the kitchen and into the living room to grab your swimming bag to go alone since he wasn't that bothered about you anymore.

"Are you upset because I won't hang out with you?! We don't have to be around each other 24/7 Y/n." He followed you into the living room staring into your eyes as he waited for you to say something back to him. He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as the way it was.

"No, but it would be nice if my own boyfriend wanted to do something with me. Watch a movie, go for a walk, order food. All you've been bothered about is gaming or hanging with the guys, we haven't done anything this week." He rolled his eyes at you before going back into the kitchen without another word in your direction. You knew it wasn't supposed to start a fight but there was a part inside of you that wanted answers from him.

"Tell me I'm wrong then. Tell me one time this week you've even wanted or offered to hang out with me." You stated as you walked back into the kitchen, he put his bowl down into the sink shaking his head at you.

"I've been busy. I'm doing stuff all week, I don't need you jumping down my neck-" He stopped talking when his phone began to ring on the table in front of him for a second you could have sworn a panicked look spread across his face. Out of habit your eyes glanced down to see who it was but as soon as you saw the name you wish you hadn't. SEOJUN. Was written across the screen in big bold writing with a broken heart beside her name just like the tattoo Jungkook had only the heart was broken.

"W-Why is she calling you?" Instead of answering you Jungkook just turned the phone over so you couldn't see it and shook his head at the question.

"Jungkook..." You whispered feeling insecure at the thought of him starting to see her again, it wasn't that you didn't trust him. It was Seojun that you didn't trust. She was manipulative and cunning. She always got whatever it was she wanted if she used the right way on Jungkook it was like she had a spell on him.

"Y/n it's not what it looks like, she's just started to say sorry to me that's all. She wants to make up for all the awful things that happened, she opened up her new shop so I've been going to help-" The look on your face made Jungkook stop talking instantly and he knew he fucked up, it was a look of sadness and anger as you realised he'd been spending all of his time with her.

"S-So you've been spending time with her? On your week off..." He nodded his head slowly not wanting to lie to you about where he had been anymore,

"Because I knew if I told you, you would be upset-" He tried to rationalise it but you cut him off,

"Of course I would! You've been spending all of your free time with your ex-girlfriend and lying to me about it!" You yelled out as you stared down at his phone, it was starting to ring again but you both ignored it this time letting it go to voicemail.

"I was just helping out with her shop, she's straightened herself out." You scoffed at the thought of it all and the phone began to ring again, it was clear she wasn't going to quit calling him until he finally answered her call.

"So she's trying to get back with you?" You questioned as you stared at him folding your arms over your chest,

"No! She's trying to say sorry..." You rolled your eyes at the statement, at how naive he was being about all of it and began walking away from him not wanting to listen to this.

"Am I not allowed, friends?!" He snapped at you making you turn to face him you were angrier now at the fact that he was making it seem like you were forcing him not to talk to her,

"You can be friends with whoever you want...B-But didn't you think about how this would make me feel? Seeing her again? When she's literally tattooed across your chest?!" He heard the crack in your voice as you stormed out of the door, leaving him alone in the world of his own thoughts. He knew how much the tattoo hurt you even if you refused to show him that sometimes, he groaned picking up his phone to her.

"I'll be running late today, come by about 2 pm? The place will be empty and it'll be just me and you, like old times." He sighed as he heard her voice down the other side of the phone,

"We should stop, she's suspicious..." He whispered to Seojun as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door, you were sitting in the car so he walked up the stairs to talk.

You whimpered as you got into your car, starting up the engine and driving off towards the pool. You didn't even need to go, you just had to be out of the house for a while to let your brain cool down from what was happening, you were probably just overreacting to it all.

When you came in after swimming the house was empty, all of the lights were off so you knew Jungkook must have been out or up in bed asleep but it was only 7 pm so that was unlikely true. You dropped your keys down in the small bowl by the front door and kicked off your shoes wanting nothing more than to snuggle up beside Jungkook and say sorry for that morning but he wasn't there so you went for the next best thing. Having a shower and curling up in one of his shirts while you waited for him to come home, you'd left him some texts but if he was still upset about this morning you doubted he would answer you.

As you walked into the kitchen you saw a note on the door,

Went out to think. Don't wait up. Love you. x x x JJK x x x You smiled halfheartedly as you read the note from him to you and screwed it up before putting it into the bin. All you had to do was remind yourself that Jungkook loved you, he would never do anything to hurt you.

Later that night Jungkook pulled up outside the house and saw your car,

"I'll call you later, Y/n's home so I'm going to talk to her if she's awake," Jungkook said to Seojun who hummed before hanging upon him. He shut the door carefully and headed up to the front door, it was almost 12 pm so you were most likely asleep in bed but when he walked into the living room you were out cold on the sofa. Draped in one of his jumpers and a pair of shorts with a blanket around you, the TV was playing to itself all of their Bangtan bombs and he smiled to himself. At least you weren't too angry at him to fall asleep to his voice, he turned off the TV and headed into the kitchen.

A small hissing noise made you wake up when you heard small grunts of pain,

"Guk?" You moaned out as you rubbed your eyes, the kitchen light was on and the moaning was coming from there. Terror ripped through you at the thought of him and someone else being in there together but Jungkook would never do that...Would he? Slowly sliding off the sofa you tip-toed into the kitchen to see Jungkook with his back to you, he was hissing as he pulled something off his chest,

"Kookie? What's going on?" Jungkook jumped as your voice suddenly filled the air, he turned to face you and you saw what he was struggling to do. There was fresh clingfilm wrapped around his chest along with some pads,

"Jungkook?" You frowned walking further into the kitchen as you helped him take off the cling film,

"I did something." He mumbled as he took your hands into his own to stop you from removing the rest of it all,

"We have to talk..." You stared into his eyes waiting for him to continue and he looked down,

"I know how much the tattooed bothered you without you saying anything...That's the reason I've been seeing Seojun so much, she runs her own tattoo parlour instead of working for other people now..." You remembered him telling you once that she worked as a tattooist in someone else's shop,

"S-So you went to her to get a tattoo done? Why didn't you tell me?" He let go of your wrists and allowed you to keep unwrapping the clingfilm until it got to the end and the flower could be seen,

"Because we were working on something I couldn't tell you about," Sitting on his left peck, covering the entire muscle was a huge tattoo of your birth flower. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you stared at the masterpiece,

"The best part." He whispered as he took your hand carefully and lead it over to the middle of his chest, written in small black in were some coordinates.

"Do you know what that is?" You stared at them with a frown on your face shaking your head at him trying to work it out,

"It's the coordinates of where I first told you that I loved you," You stared at the coordinates before wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and dragging him into a passionate kiss. Tugging him closer to you until he hissed out in pain,

"S-Sorry, the tattoo is sore." He chuckled as you looked at it again,

"Where's your cream? I'll apply it and then we can go to bed?" You questioned as he nodded at you, telling you where the cream he used for all his tattoo's was kept and went to sit on the sofa for you. Smiling happily as he waited for you to come back to him.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @fan-ati--c @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @bisexualmess007 @innersooya @sw33tnight @jin-from-the-block @sweeneyblue1

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imperial-martian · 5 years ago

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Protective vs Possesive {Mycroft Holmes x Reader} [Part 2/?]

A/N: Sorry that it has taken me so long to get done, but I’ve finally gotten inspiration with the help of @kye06. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I was a bit iffy with it until the end, which I really love. Let me know what you think and if this should be the end or if more parts should be added!

Mycroft x Ex-Wife! Pregnant! Reader

Angst/Fluff

(Mentions of Divorce, Pregnancy, Fainting, Hospitals, Mentions of Llightly Unhealthy Weight Loss, Soft! Mycroft)

•—•

Sherlock was sat in Bart's hospital sitting room, his hands interlaced and his chin resting upon them as he waited and waited. Each second that past felt like hours, each minute felt like days. The ticking of the clock at the corner of the room was slowly driving the man crazy.

It had only been a month and a half since you've moved into Baker Street with Sherlock and John. Every day seemed to be weighing down on you more and more. There was no more waking up to morning kisses that, Mycroft so loved to greet you with, or the smell of freshly brewed coffee. No more late-night cuddles and silent reading as you laid in his arms, smiling.

With every memory came the ghost of his touch, and with that came the guilt. You should've cherished those moments you had with him, to thank Mycroft for always ensuring your safety. Now, you couldn't even do that. The simple thought of him made you want to cry.

Yet, you were unable to think about anybody at the moment. Not while you lied, unconscious in a hospital bed while doctors and nurses tried to determine what was wrong before finally, they did.

However, Sherlock was still waiting, and he was still slowly going insane with impatience. He let only a second pass him before he cams his older brother, his blue eyes shut as he listened to the ringing of the phone.

On the other side of London, in an office, sat Mycroft Holmes, a government official who was just scribbling down a note on a piece of paper. The moon was shining in through the window, having just crept past a cloud that obscured some of its light. The auburn-haired man let out a little grunt into the glass of scotch he had just raised to his lips. A phone call was the last thing he wanted to deal with at the moment.

Nonetheless, he grabbed the device, seeing if he recognized the number before feeling a sudden sense of shock and worry as he saw his brother's name. In a quick motion, Mycroft had placed down the scotch glass while throwing on his coat as he brought the phone up to his ear.

"Sherlock?" he said through the phone, moving around his desk to gather some things. If it wasn't an emergency then at least he'd be packed and have an excuse to head home.

Sherlock let out a small sigh as he heard his brother's voice, a sound he wasn't sure that relieved him or annoyed him. "Mycroft, come down to Bart's, Y/N's in the hospital," he stated, getting straight to the point and not wanting to waste time.

Mycroft was surprised for a moment, not because Y/N was in hospital but because he was being informed that she was. "Why am I being told this? And why am I being asked to visit her?" Mycroft asked, his tone airy and yet, somehow it sounded almost cold.

"Because this was your wife Mycroft! Because the person you once loved is now lying unconscious in a hospital room, and even I don't know what's wrong! That's why Mycroft, because if Y/N had even cracked a bit of that facade you've created, then you'd care enough to see her. God forbid she took her last breath in an hour and you weren't here to say goodbye or sorry, wouldn't you want to see her one last time?!"

Mycroft was shocked by his brother's outburst. He'd been yelled at plenty of times before by Sherlock, however, never for such a severe reason. A moment passed before he said, "I'll be there in ten minutes," and hung up the phone.

True to his word, Mycroft arrived at the hospital ten minutes later, walking towards the waiting room where Sherlock no longer sat. The government official walked up to the front desk, asking what room you were in.

"294," the nurse said before Mycroft said a quick thank you and made his way down the hall, his umbrella gripped tightly in his hand. He held it at the center, his leather shoes loud against the tiled floor.

He reached the room after a bit of walking, peaking through the window to spot his brother sitting at a chair beside the bed. Mycroft didn't bother looking around to see you, knocking on the door and waiting for someone to answer it. When the door was answered, Mycroft's blue eyes caught the ones of his brother who simply nodded and let him pass.

"Is she alright?" Mycroft asked, taking a step into the room and looking over at you. He placed the umbrella off to the side of the room and took a seat once he was finished.

He hadn't seen you properly since the ordeal that took place months ago. His heart ached at the sight of your s/c skin being much paler than what it usually is. Your body was a bit skinnier than he remembered and for a moment he feared the worst.

"Has she been eating properly?" Mycroft asked his brother who remained by the door.

Sherlock shook his head slightly. "She seems to be skipping breakfast every morning," he starts. "However, thankfully she eats her other meals."

Mycroft nodded, taking you over once more. "Did the doctors tell you what was wrong?" he inquired, his eyes never leaving your body.

Sherlock made a small hum. He knew that this should be something told to his brother, as well as yourself, by a doctor, but he knew it'd eat his brother alive if he didn't tell him. "She's pregnant Mycroft," he paused for a moment, expecting to see a reaction from Mycroft. When he didn't he continued, "they said she had fainted due to stress. They suspect she doesn't know she's with child yet."

All Mycroft could give in response was a weak nod before he asked his brother to leave for a moment. Sherlock obeyed Mycroft's wishes, taking a step out and moving back towards the waiting room before leaving altogether. He knew it was best to leave them both for some time.

Mycroft had leaned back against his seat, his mind seeming to bark questions at him, some that he didn't know the answers to. He looked back at you for a moment, taking in your h/c hair and familiar features. His hand was trembling as he brought it up to brush the strands of hair that cling to your face behind your ear.

Mycroft felt guilty at that moment. Guilty for leaving you when he could have been taking care of you, holding you close and protecting you. He was angry at himself that this entire situation was caused simply because he wanted to keep you safe, and yet, of course, he was the one harming you. It was always like that.

He'd never felt such a strong urge to hold you in his life. To whisper to you softly, letting you know that he couldn't wait to be a father and that you'd make an amazing mother. Yet, you were no longer his. He'd asked for the divorce.

The sudden feeling of warm, soft skin brushing against his arm caused his blue eyes to snap up towards you, his hand moving to clutch at your instinctively. "Y/N," he breathed out softly.

You felt emotional seeing Mycroft beside you, but you did not cry. All you did was smile back before facing the heart rate monitor. "Mycroft, what's wrong? W-why are you here?" you asked, scared and confused.

Mycroft tried his best to give you a reassuring smile. It was clearly forced and strained. He was about to answer you when a doctor entered the room, both heads turning to look at them.

"Ah, Mrs. Holmes-" you'd both tensed at that, but you couldn't blame the doctor. The divorce had yet to be finalized. "I'm glad to see you're awake. We've run some tests and nothing looks to be too worrisome. As a matter of fact, the cause of your fainting, although partially due to stress, is caused by pregnancy symptoms. Congratulations," the doctor explained.

Your eyes widened as you looked at Mycroft, fear written all over your face. How would this work now that you weren't with Mycroft?

Mycroft caught onto the fear quickly and gently ran a thumb over your knuckles, trying to assure you it'd be alright. Once the doctor left the room, Mycroft turned to look into your e/c eyes.

"Mycroft, wh-what are we going to do?" you asked, your hands trembling just as much as his are.

He took in a sharp breath for a moment, looking at you. "Y/N, I-I'd happily call off the divorce if you're willing to do the same. I... I'm not sure if I've truly ever wanted it. Ever since I've said it all I've felt was misery," he stated, his voice shaky. Mycroft's never had to say something like this. He's rarely ever let his emotions be spoken so freely.

You'd brought your hand up to his cheek when a single tear slipped from his eye. It wasn't a tear full of sadness, it was one of anger and guilt... and of the loneliness he tried so hard to get rid of only to welcome it back with open arms. Now, all he wanted to do was take you into his arms.

"I'd want nothing more than that, My," you whispered, and hearing the nickname- the one that used to bring him so much warmth -nearly caused Mycroft to cry more. He didn't, instead, moving to sit on the edge of your bed before taking you into his arms and adjusting himself so that he wouldn't hurt you.

He buried his face into the crook of your neck, the warmth of your body against his cool skin causing him to feel safe and at home. "I've missed you," he whispered, placing a kiss against your shoulder.

"I've missed you too My," you whispered back, carefully running your fingers through his hair. "You'll make a great father," and just the thought of it caused you to smile because you knew it'd be true.

Mycroft lifted his head a bit to look into your eyes, a soft smile on his face. "And you'll be the best mother anyone could ever have, my dear," he replied, leaning down to give you a sweet, but passionate kiss against your lips. He'd only broken apart to murmur a soft, 'I love you,' before kissing you again.

#bbc sherlock #mycroft holmes #bbc mycroft #mycroft #mycroft holmes x reader #x reader #mycroft x reader #holmes #bbc mycroft x reader #fluff #angst #protective vs possessive part two #mycroft x pregnant! ex-wife! reader #mycroft holmes imagine #mycroft imagine #bbc mycroft holmes

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pietromelim · 5 years ago

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"Let me love you" Short story of Matthew Fairchild and Cordelia Carstairs!

Cordelia stood before the small room she would spend the night in. She managed to find an inn in Cornwall,she was there due to her road trip with Matthew. They had a mission,but they could leave that for tomorrow.

The room barely had any light. The moonlight lit the floor through the window,and a detail caught her attention.

There was only one bed.

-Fear not,dear Cordelia. I am more than okay with sleeping on the floor. It's not like i have not done that before either.-Matthew said,smiling.

-But you were drunk,weren't you?-Cordelia asked.

Matthew nodded.

-I was. But that makes no difference now. We cannot share a bed,you are engaged to my Parabatai.-Matthew said.

Cordelia blinked. How could she forget such a thing? Being engaged to James had been her dream for so many years so. And now it was happening,but not quite how she imagined it.

It was a white marriage,to save her reputation. James did not love her,and he said it himself. His heart belonged to Grace Blackthorn.

But she was engaged to Charles,Matthew's brother. Cordelia could be wrong,but it didn't seemed like Grace loved James at all.

She doubted James would ever love her,but she would not love him forever. Maybe someday she would be able to forget him,and find someone that could truly love her back.

James had said that love would come for her in a year. Only if it were that easy.

-But i do not want you to sleep on the floor! Surely we can find another solution.-Cordelia said.

-There is no solution. What kind of Parabatai would i be if i let the future wife of James sleep on the floor? I cannot allow such thing. Parabatai's have a code of honor. You will learn all about it soon enough.-Matthew said.

Cordelia said nothing. Apparently he really was willing to sleep on the floor,which wasn't exactly what she wanted for him.

Cordelia and Matthew have gotten really close to each other during these four months of her engagement with James. He was somehow managing to make her smile,even when she had to face the cruel reality that James loved someone else.

-Excuse me then,Matthew. I am in desperate need of a bath.-Cordelia said.

She entered the small bathroom,the walls were almost yellow,as if the white had gone due to dirt. I didn't took long for Cordelia to enter the bathtub,full of hot water.

Perhaps love stories where indeed something that only happened in books. When she had first arrived in London,the thought that James could really love her made her jump with happiness. But that was only a silly fantasy that she had. A dream of a little girl.

Even after the Whispering Room,James once told her that he had kissed her because he wanted to,but after Grace had visited him,they were only pretending.

Maybe that was the effect true love had on people. Cordelia could be as bright as the sun,but if Grace were standing beside her,James would never look at her.

It was heartbreaking,but the truth was never easy to handle.

After her bath,she had put on her nightgown,it's color resembled the color of wine. Her feet was bare,and the floor felt cold.

She left the bathroom,only to find Matthew laying on the bed,with a bottle of cheap spirits in his hand.

-Matthew! Drinking again!? Must you do that all the time!? I can't have you in a hangover tomorrow! We have a mission,or have you forgotten about it?-Cordelia asked.

Matthew shook his head.

-I did not. And don't be vexed,i wasn't planning on getting drunk if that is what you are thinking.-Matthew said.

He looked at her. Even if the room barely had any light,he could still see her in her nightgown.

She was absolutely gorgeous. James was such a fool. How could he love Grace instead of Cordelia? Grace was like a statue of ice,beautiful but cold and emotionless.

Cordelia was like fire,stunning and warm,and he would never get tired of her flames,if she were to burn him. He should feel nothing for her,she was going to marry his Parabatai. And yet,that was not on his control.

-You should take a bath as well. I can sense the smell of wine from here.-Cordelia said.

Matthew nodded. She was not wrong,he did need a bath. Perhaps freezing water could calm his nerves a little bit.

Sometimes he wished he could be like Dorian Gray. He wished he could do the most scandalous and awful things and remain young and handsome,so that people would always believe he could redeem himself,that he could be better.

But he could not ever be better. He was a murderer,and did not deserve any kindness. Nor love.

The water got rid of the smell of alcohol,and Matthew relaxed a little bit. At least there were no expectations upon him right now. He was unable to deal with all the tenderness his friends had sometimes. No one knew the real Matthew Fairchild. No one knew what he had been capable of.

But secrets were like a terrible flame. Soon Matthew would only be ashes. And he was fine with that. He deserved it.

He was awful,and nothing would ever change that.

Cordelia was trying to read the new chapter of The Beautiful Cordelia Lucie had written,but she could not focus. She would often think about what James thought about her road trip with Matthew. They were Parabatai and trusted each other more than everything. Still,could James feel jealousy due to that?

Cordelia shook her head. Why was she doing that to herself? James was her friend,nothing more. Why would he feel something like that? Wasn't the fact that he loved Grace enough to make her try to forget about him?

The door of the bathroom suddenly opened,revealing Matthew. He only had a towel around his waist.

Cordelia blushed immediately. Was he not seeing here there? Did he not know how improper that was?

But by the Angel,he was handsome. His shoulders were broad,he had a Defense Rune near his chest,and his abs were chiseled.

His body was dripping,his golden hair still wet. He was looking around the room,as if he had lost something.

-Matthew!? Why are you not dressed!?-Cordelia asked,blocking her vision with her hands. She had to force herself not to stare at him.

Matthew turned his attention to Cordelia. She was absolutely right. He had forgotten.

-Oh please forgive me! I never really shared a room with anyone before.-Matthew said.

It was true,to a certain point. He had been in rooms with different people before,though the thing was,he were there to undress,but with Cordelia was completely different.

He would never be intimate with her. And she was engaged. He had no right to stand here in that way. They were only friends.

Matthew grabbed his clothes and entered the bathroom once again,and got dressed. Black trousers and a light green shirt. He left,and sat beside Cordelia in the bed.

-Pardon me,Cordelia. It seems like i have a talent to vex every single one of my friends.-Matthew said.

Strangely,Cordelia laughed.

-Honestly,i think i overreacted. I mean,the entire Enclave believes i have spent a night in James' room,one can only imagine i have seem him...You know,that way.-Cordelia said.

-But you have not. I'm quite sure you have heard many times before people saying that i have a "reputation". I never cared about their opinion,and neither should you.-Matthew said.

-That is easy to say if you are a man. Nothing that you do will make people consider you "ruined". Unlike me,because this engagement is to save my reputation. Sometimes i wonder if i really did the right thing.-Cordelia said.

-You saved James from the Clave,and from Tatiana's accusations. Grace would not have lied like you did. She would obey her mother. If it were not for you,Jamie would be in serious trouble right now.-Matthew said.

But that was not what Cordelia was talking about.

-I don't mean that. I don't regret helping James,i would have done that for you,for Thomas and Christopher as well.-Cordelia said.

-I see. You are talking about the engagement,are you not? Do you have second thoughts about it?-Matthew asked.

-Mariage Blanc was never something i imagined in my life. I know James was kind to propose to me,so that i can keep my honor. But this feels wrong,i don't like lying to my family like this. It's not how i've imagined my engagement with James...-Cordelia was saying,but she suddenly stopped.

What had she done? Had she just revealed her true feelings for James to Matthew?

-I see. You truly love James. This is probably being hard to you. You are soon to be married with the one you love,but his heart belongs to someone else.-Matthew said,as if he was describing the story of a book.

-I am so selfish. He only wishes to help me,as i have helped him. How can i be so ungrateful to his help like this?-Cordelia said,covering her face with her hands.

-You are not selfish Cordelia. I will not accept you saying those awful things about yourself. James may be my Parabatai,but he is being quite foolish. I am sure that Grace Blackthorn does not love him. She will marry my brother,and yet James still believes that they will one day be together.-Matthew said.

Cordelia shrugged.

-Isn't that what true love is? Never losing the hope on your beloved?-Cordelia said.

Matthew shook his head. Talking about love should feel weird for him. What did he knew about love? He destroyed the life of someone that was not born but that he already loved. He harmed his mother and father,the ones who had always loved him.

And yet,there he was,talking about something that would never be allowed to him.

-How can true love bring so much pain? It doesn't seem right to me.-Matthew said.

-Have you ever loved before,Matthew?-Cordelia asked.

Matthew shook his head.

-Love is something that i simply do not deserve,Cordelia.-He said.

Cordelia raised her eyebrows. What was he saying?

-Why not? You have a gentle and kind soul. Why would you not deserve love?-Cordelia asked.

Matthew took a deep breath. Should he tell her? This was something he refused to even tell James. And he had feelings for Cordelia,feelings that he should not feel at all.

But if he revealed what he did to her,if he revealed his greatest sin,she would despise him. He knew she would.

Cordelia was too good. She would never love him. But happiness was not something guaranteed in one's life.

But he was tired. Tired of keeping all of that inside him. And for so many years now.

He needed to tell her.

-I am not gentle,nor kind. I am a wicked spirit. I have blood in my hands Cordelia.-Matthew said.

Cordelia looked at him,her face full of concern.

-What do you mean?-She asked.

-You know that i do not get along with your brother. As a matter of fact,i cannot stand him. Have you ever asked yourself why?-Matthew said.

-Yes. But Alastair never said anything to me,and neither did you.-Cordelia said.

-I will tell you. When i was at the Shadowhunter Academy,your brother began to spread a rumor about my mother,and about Gideon Lightwood.-Matthew said.

A memory suddenly came up in Cordelia's mind. When she was younger,she remembered her parents discussing something about the Consul cheating her husband.

-He told me that i was the bastard son of Gideon. That my father was half of a man,that he could not father children,and that he could not satisfy my mother. And that was why her actions were understandable.-Matthew said.

Cordelia felt a sudden anger inside her chest. How could Alastair say such awful things? All of those were lies!

-My brother spreaded those lies!? By the Angel,Matthew,i...i am so embarassed! I can assure you i will give him a good piece of my mind when we return!-Said Cordelia.

But Matthew only shook his head again,as if nothing she could say would make him feel any better.

-Your brother's words made me go paranoid. But what i did was only my fault. I was desperate,i needed to know the truth about what was happening. I could have simply asked my parents,but who could guarantee they would tell me the truth? I could not accept more lies. So i decided to visit the Shadow Market.-Matthew said.

Cordelia blinked. Shadow Markets could be a very dangerous place,if one were careless. It was usually full of downworlders,and they did not like Shadowhunters in there.

-I found a faerie in the Shadow Market. I asked her for a specific kind of potion. A potion that would make one incapable of lying.-Matthew said.

Cordelia felt worried. That was not a very good decision. Faeries could not lie,but that didn't meant they were trustworthy.

-That day,my mother was at home. I baked some cranberries for her. I used the potion in the cranberries. I wanted to ask her if i was indeed my father's son,or if i was Gideon Lightwood's son. I wanted to ask her if her marriage with father still existed,or if they were only pretending to be okay. But i didn't had the chance. She ate one and fell right in front of me.-Matthew said.

Cordelia remembered that. There was a day when everyone was gossiping about the Consul being ill.

-But she recovered! You did not kill your mother Matthew! There is no blood in your hands as you say.-Cordelia said.

-But there is. I became so obsessed with that lie,that i killed someone. The potion was poison,and my mother was pregnant. She was expecting a girl,something she had always dreamed of. My little sister. I did not gave her a chance to meet us all. I didn't allowed her to live. And her blood will be forever in my hands.-Said Matthew.

His face was wet,tears dropping from his eyes. Cordelia began to cry as well. Her heart was shattered.

-Now Cordelia,tell me. Am i gentle? Am i kind? Do i deserve to be loved? I harmed my own family because i was not capable of believing them.-Matthew asked.

Cordelia had put her hand on his face. Now it was clear,why she had always seen a shadow hanging around Matthew.

The deadly shadow of guilt.

-Oh Matthew...I am so sorry for all of that.-She said.

She hugged him,quite strongly. And she felt Matthew fall apart in her embrace.

-You must despise me now! You can't possibly want to be my friend after all that i have told you. I am a murderer! You must hate me!-He said,almost choking with his own tears.

-I do not despise you! I would never be able to hate you either! Matthew,i cannot lie to you,it will not be easy to handle with the consequences of your actions,but still...Charlotte and Henry are your parents! They will always love you!-Cordelia said.

-But i do not deserve that! I deserve no love! No happiness! Only bitterness and darkness are allowed to my soul.-Matthew said.

-No! Do not say that! I will not accept that self hatred!-Cordelia said.

-Everyone believes i use the green carnation because of Oscar Wilde,but there is another reason. "Green will mend our broken hearts". But my heart will always be broken.-Matthew said.

-No Matthew! Love can change everything! You must believe that your parents,that your friends,would still be capable of loving you!-Cordelia said.

-And you? Would you be capable of loving me?-Matthew asked.

In seconds,Cordelia was kissing Matthew. Their mouths crashed in each other,like moths to a flame.

It felt completely different than kissing James. They seemed to have an urgency in their kiss. A desperate need to fill any empty space. Her unrequited love for James,and his lack of love for himself.

James. He seemed so far from her mind and heart right now. She could only think about and feel Matthew there with her.

His hands ran through her dark red hair,then to her dark skin,she felt as if she was burning in desire.

Matthew got rid of his shirt so quickly that it nearly seemed like magic. Her hands were against his hard chest. She could feel his heart beating against her palm.

He laid on top of Cordelia,his torso pressed against her breasts. Her moment with James in the Whispering Room seemed small if compared to this.

Somewhere deep in her mind,she could hear James' voice,swearing to her that he would not act like a unfaithful husband.

Perhaps she was being unfaithful to him now,but she was not being unfaithful to herself. James did not love her,and he never would. And she was free to love someone else.

Matthew suddenly stopped. He was panting,nearly breathless. There was guilt in his eyes.

-You will become the wife of my Parabatai. I cannot do this to you. You should not get intimate with someone like me.-Matthew said.

Cordelia got rid of her nightgown,revealing herself to Matthew. His gaze was on her body.

-You are gorgeous Cordelia. It was the first impression i had of you,when i saw you at the ball in the Institute.-Matthew said,smiling.

-My marriage to James means nothing. He does not love me,and my honor will be restored after my divorce. You will be able to propose to me by then.-Cordelia said.

-But why me? I am the worst of men. I do not deserve to be loved by anyone.-Matthew asked.

Cordelia shook her head.

-If you can't love yourself,Matthew Fairchild,let me love you.-She said.

Matthew only nodded,he was no longer crying. They kissed again,as Matthew got rid of the rest of his clothes.

James told Cordelia that love would come for her,in a year,she remembered well.

But perhaps James was wrong. Perhaps love would not take that long to come for her.

Perhaps it had always been there,by her side,in that handsome green eyed boy.

#cassandra clare #chain of gold #the last hours #james herondale #grace blackthorn #cordelia carstairs #matthew fairchild #charlotte fairchild #henry branwell #cordelia x matthew #ghosts of the shadow market #cast long shadows

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Janis & Grace

Janis: What's this I hear about a bitch fight, like? Grace: ugh can you NOT please Janis: Is it true though Grace: it wasn't a fight okay I just lost my chill like Grace: moving on Janis: 💔 Janis: shame Janis: what happened then Grace: I don't wanna talk about it Janis: I mean I'd ask her but she ain't responding either Janis: very unlike Mia Grace: I didn't hit her that hard but sure Grace: she'll be watching a tutorial for like fake bruises or whatever obvs Grace: make me look worse Janis: again, gutted Janis: but seriously Janis: why'd you finally lose it with the bitch Grace: ask Pablo Janis: ? Janis: what's he got to do with it Grace: while you were getting with barista boy on the school trip they were also hooking up at some party Janis: no way Janis: what the fuck Grace: he didn't even try & deny it Grace: I literally can't with either of them Janis: Jesus Janis: kinda wish I didn't know now Janis: 🤢 Grace: UM yeah same Grace: but she just had to tell me cos I was dealing with a lot that wasn't about her Janis: well yeah Janis: sitting on that one 'til the best time Janis: cow Janis: should've hit her hard, I'd have shown you Grace: I'm not trying to get sued babes Grace: & it wasn't like I decided to hit her or anything Janis: wouldn't waste a court's time with that shite Janis: daddy not trying to get done for wasting resources really Janis: did think Pablo had better taste, tbh Janis: well, not really but you know Grace: Ew don't call him daddy Grace: I can't even be angry right Grace: I should've just kept crying like I always do Janis: Come on Janis: smacking her ones the best thing you ever did Janis: felt good, yeah? Grace: you'd have done it better Janis: still can, like Janis: have to be a decent apology for that Janis: 💰💰💰 at least Grace: if you do, vlog it & send me the footage Grace: I can't be here Grace: I literally have to leave Janis: where are you gonna go? Grace: idk Grace: I can't think rn Janis: You at home? Grace: obvs not they all think I'm mental there Grace: this isn't gonna help Janis: Hardly Janis: she deserved it Janis: how long do you need Janis: away, like Grace: if I'm freaking out now it'll be worse when she retaliates so ????? Grace: & when school starts Grace: OMG LITERALLY WHAT AM I GONNA DO? Janis: Calm down Janis: okay, you'll be fine Janis: contrary to her word being law in your circle, no one actually gives a fuck what she says Janis: anyway Janis: you said you have loads of shit on her, right? Grace: everyone needs to stop telling me to calm down Grace: you don't even understand Grace: she knows as much about me Grace: this is so bad Janis: exactly Janis: so if she's got any brains, she won't be spreading it Janis: if you don't move, she can't, yeah Grace: but I did Grace: I literally hit her Janis: you don't do things like that, you lot Janis: you didn't post anything about her or her and Pablo, did you Grace: I don't want anyone knowing that ever happened, why would I? Janis: see, wouldn't that be much worse Janis: to her Janis: how you lot operate Janis: she'll make up some story about why you hit her, if she chooses to go for that angle Janis: but she knows you've got all the real shit if she's gonna try anything else Janis: stalemate Grace: Yeah, I guess Janis: I'm sure Janis: school'll be fine Grace: UM how?? it's already rubbish & now I've got no one Janis: join the club Janis: just show up, do your lessons Janis: go town on your lunch break Janis: easy Grace: You've got your bf Grace: don't do him like that Janis: I didn't before, did I Janis: never mind just last term Grace: you didn't want one before Janis: no lad at that school, maybe Grace: I'm gonna have to get one now Grace: ugh Grace: 🙏🙏 there's some party tonight or something Janis: how's that the solution Grace: to not being alone? well duh Grace: who's single rn? 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: 🙄 honestly Grace Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm trying to be pro-active here Janis: you've lost your friend not girlfriend Janis: that's what you should be aiming for Grace: she was my friend for like 10 years, most of my relationships don't last 10 days Grace: I obvs can't just find a new bestie Janis: you can try Janis: that's what you want Janis: what boyfriend has ever been good company Grace: yeah cos she was so good for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: not the kind of good I meant Janis: a lad ain't gonna chat about reality telly with you and reapply lippy in the loos Grace: a gay one maybe Janis: if you want a gay bff you go for it Janis: bit problematic but sure we can let it slide Grace: all I actually need is someone whose arm I can be on in the halls & whatever Grace: boys are easy to get Grace: easier than friends anyway Janis: alright Janis: if you say so Grace: duh then I can say I dumped my friends for my man Janis: well they are your friends Janis: so they'll know you haven't Grace: no-one else will tho Janis: I'm not sure anyone else will be too concerned Grace: rude Janis: why? Janis: it's the truth Janis: not like the entire school is on the edge of their seat every time you two fall out Grace: obvs they are too busy watching you & your boy Grace: that doesn't make me utterly irrelevant thank you Janis: why are you getting offended Janis: it's not a performance Janis: just do what you want Grace: Oh sure Grace: I told you idk how to be different Janis: it's a good chance Janis: you've got a couple of days Janis: don't be rash, like Grace: I'm so not ready to just like overhaul my life excuse me Janis: it's shit, right Janis: what do you actually have to lose Grace: I told you on that school trip, if I try & I'm still the worst, what then? Janis: go back to faking it with vigor Janis: no one will know, like Grace: I will Grace: & you since it's your suggestion Janis: who am I telling Janis: not even a good secret Grace: ugh Grace: I'm freaking out, I can't commit to anything if it's not a detox, babes Grace: & even then Janis: boyfriend probably ain't the one then Janis: it's what Janis: 7 weeks if you wanna survive the first term Janis: maybe more? Grace: OMG don't Janis: Hell that's only half term, even Janis: then that'll end and it's more drama Janis: don't need that Grace: that's like 7 boys I need to find Janis: you can't just line 'em all up Grace: tragically Janis: could always transfer Grace: do you think mum and dad will let me? Janis: I wasn't being serious but they probably would Janis: just say Mias shoved your head down the bog Grace: EW Grace: did work for Nancy though so Grace: devastated I can't go to Chelsea Janis: mm did it Janis: she did try to fuck her special ed teacher Grace: Oh yeah Grace: & she wasn't even cute Grace: awks Janis: 🙄 Janis: and her twin has ended up inbreeding so don't reckon much to his fine education tbh Grace: Maybe I should hook up with Mia's dad Janis: don't be grim Grace: He's not hot but he is rich Janis: only relevant if you marry him Janis: and her mum is still very much alive and you'd have to last a while to be written in Janis: if ever Grace: I probably look too young for him to be 😍😍😍 anyway Grace: I'll hit him up post surgery if I'm still bitter Janis: you know people have surgery to look younger Janis: what kind of surgeon you found that's gonna make you a grandma Grace: 😂😂 Janis: I mean you will anyway Janis: your desired aesthetic ends up looking Donatella Versace when the filler starts to drop out Grace: gross Janis: He'll defs have a secretary he's banging, they always do Janis: just send a confession to her house and watch the fireworks, like Grace: that's a secret I already know, babes Grace: Mia caught him forever ago Janis: awh Janis: she does have a 💘 Grace: she has an even bigger allowance cos of too Janis: 'course Janis: got that to look forward to, Venus Janis: pretend to be her and tell then, even more trouble Grace: Do you want me to change or not? Janis: no one said you need to be a nun about it Janis: and if you ain't up for round 2 Grace: Yeah okay Janis: Seriously Janis: you don't need to worry Grace: it's fine for you, you don't care what anyone says or thinks or does Janis: yeah Janis: well she's a cunt Janis: why let her get to you Grace: it's not like I want her to Grace: she just does Janis: had 10 years to perfect it, I guess Grace: mhmmm Janis: don't mean you need another 10 Janis: fake that it doesn't get to you, like you said Grace: idk if I even can but sure Janis: why not Janis: you fake everything else, right Grace: & everyone's seeing through it rn Janis: doesn't have to be a bad thing Grace: Pablo called me mental & he got with Mia Janis: Pablo calls everyone and everything mental Janis: his vocab is lacking along with his brain, like Grace: 😂 Janis: doubt he was aiming for a soul-reaching read Janis: just a moody twat, yeah Grace: it's so okay for boys to have moods like it just makes them look hotter if anything but if a girl our age does anything she's mental Grace: is anyone in this fam calling him out for sleeping with girls at parties he says he doesn't know, no just me getting slutshamed Janis: that's misogyny, kid Janis: and I'm sure we're all very disappointed with him for it, like Janis: but as you said, everyone's seeing through you rn so Grace: my feet hurt I can't even run away Grace: I'm putting my coffee cup on the ground & giving up Grace: throw some euros in it if you come this way Janis: if you come here you can earn 'em and think about something else for a bit Grace: ?? Janis: we wanna go out Janis: the kid already knows you so come watch him for a few hours, yeah Janis: better hiding place than wherever you've got to Grace: before I say yeah, is his sister there too? Janis: I can assure you she'll be out as soon as she gets the chance Grace: Okay Janis: she's like Gus' age Janis: she can take care of herself Grace: as long as that's the only way she's like Gus Janis: 😏 Janis: bit rude but yeah Grace: oh come on, he's a lot Janis: 😂 and you're not Grace: that's why I can say it duh Janis: so is that a yeah or what Grace: I'm omw Janis: good stuff Grace: I need to fix my makeup first so Janis: so you'll be five hours Janis: come on Grace: Shut up Grace: I can't do it in a moving car, I'll look worse than I do now Janis: as long as you aren't rocking a 🤡 look I don't think the kid will mind Grace: you and the love of your life will still have to let me in Grace: what are you wearing? am I gonna have to be fake nice about it Janis: it's cool, he doesn't think you're nice, like Janis: told him what a bitch you are, obvs Grace: thanks babes Janis: any time 🖤 Grace: 💜 Janis: anyway, you'd be here for it Grace: Yeah? Janis: it's stupid Janis: had to dress up 'cos not fully sure where we're going so Grace: that's soooo cute Janis: alright Janis: that's enough Grace: I didn't even start Grace: so mean Janis: I know Grace: Do you want me to do your makeup? Janis: I don't think we'll have time Janis: takes an age don't it Grace: for me cos I have problem areas Grace: it wouldn't take like any time to do yours Janis: okay go on Janis: but we can't make him wait forever so it really does have to be speedy Grace: OMG really?? Grace: I promise, like 10 mins Janis: 👌 Janis: why not Grace: yay Janis: love the enthusiasm, babe Grace: Babes, if you could see me rn Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Grace: but if I get too excited I'll never get there Janis: I know it's shit Janis: but she's been shit for a long time Grace: & I know that Janis: yeah Janis: well Bobby will be happy to see you Grace: duh it's totally mutual Grace: he's a babe Janis: shame you can't take him to school 💕 Grace: he isn't a 🐶 I can't just put him in my 👜 hun Janis: think this one is too big for that and all Janis: 'less you're going really hard Grace: OMG has he got a big scary dog! 😱😱 Grace: one of my exes had one that was like Grace: so evil Janis: no Janis: it's just not a rat dog Janis: and it's nice just a bit excitable, only a puppy, like Grace: 🙏🙏 Grace: thank god Janis: just walked it so it should be chill-ish Janis: [sends pic 'cos god knows I have enough] Grace: ask him if I can steal it for school 😍 Janis: 😏 probably say yes Grace: that's so happening then Janis: you so don't need these bad influences in your life Janis: do you reckon mum used to put Ri in her school bag Grace: obvs have her strapped to the front & all her books in a backpack Grace: if I had a baby I could get away with leaving school though, I'll think about it Janis: behave Grace: I need to find the hottest boy ever first Grace: so it'd be cute Janis: shut up Janis: anyway Janis: don't always work Janis: look at Drew and Ro's kid Janis: weird looking thing, they're both attractive enough Grace: is she though? Janis: thought you'd tell me off for being mean Janis: she could be, if she wasn't dying, like Grace: never seen her when she wasn't so it's too hard to tell Janis: 💔 Janis: must be Mia's GP Janis: doling out the advice Grace: I'll book myself in ASAP Janis: like you said Janis: not a look, is it Grace: neither's this Grace: whatever I don't have the commitment Grace: stopped making myself throw up forever ago Janis: did you? Grace: it's like really hard to do Grace: someone should PSA that Janis: along with all the reasons not to, yeah Janis: reckon there's been a couple of films and docs on it Grace: it has its upsides too obvs, how I get any lads to date me Janis: you can shut up now Janis: didn't need to hear about Pablo jumping Mia's bones Janis: don't need to hear about you Grace: you just wanna hear about my bulimic past instead Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: um I didn't ask you about that either Grace: you literally just did Grace: but fine Janis: what did you want me to say Grace: whatever I don't need an intervention for that so Janis: alright Grace: where's his dad? He's not gonna like come back & freak out that I'm watching his kid, like who am I, is he? Janis: nah he's on a date of his own Janis: if he came back early, just give me a call, like Grace: Gross Grace: 👌👌 Janis: he is Grace: I bet he's hot though, son like that Janis: old men are so not your thing Janis: don't need to go down that route, tah Janis: and he's not Janis: like he could've been but he's well past it Grace: tragic Grace: I wonder if his mum is pretty Grace: they could've been like couple goals forever ago Janis: long as you keep your speculating to yourself Grace: obvs I'm not that stupid Grace: or mean Janis: just saying Janis: it is really messed up Janis: wonder where she is Grace: did he tell you anything? Janis: they don't know anything Grace: Oh Grace: poor Bobby Janis: I know Janis: still Janis: Jim looks after him really well Grace: yeah he talked about him like non-stop at the fair Grace: it's nice that they have each other Janis: it is Janis: hard for him sometimes though Grace: obvs he can't just do whatever he wants Grace: unless I'm babysitting Janis: and with his job Janis: we're spoilt brats, like Grace: maybe I'll get one Grace: keep me busy Janis: I'd like one Janis: but I'd definitely throw coffee over people like you so Janis: gotta think Grace: rude but v true Grace: there's like lots of stuff at the sports centre you could do Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah maybe Janis: not the worst idea Grace: I'm mostly fake stupid Janis: leave that off the job applications Grace: idk what I'd even apply for anyway so Janis: you could do anything retail Grace: they want girls who look good in the clothes Janis: you do, you daft cow Grace: on like 1 day out of 7 Grace: I can't maintain that much gym time Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, you could be a teasgirl in a salon or something Grace: maybe but lots of girls wanna do that Janis: yeah but every job gets more applicants than it needs Janis: worth a shot, if you wanna Grace: sure Janis: work on your resume later though, yeah Janis: on the clock here Grace: I'll make dad do it Janis: hasn't he got catering to be planning Grace: okay fine mum then Janis: surely she has a lovely big 👒 to buy Grace: yeah but we'll fit it around the shopping trips duh Janis: 🙄 Janis: gross Grace: you don't have to come, babes Janis: made it pretty clear I won't be Grace: yeah Janis: you know anyone who'd want some meth, like Grace: that's not funny thank you Janis: it ain't Janis: made a right dent in my back pocket, like Grace: so you better start job hunting Janis: I'll find a buyer Grace: Janis Janis: what Grace: you can't sell drugs Janis: not gonna make it my career Grace: just throw it away Grace: it's freaking me out that you even still have it Janis: not gonna waste it Janis: it's fine Grace: OMG how is it fine??! Grace: you could get murdered Janis: not for this much Janis: didn't go that crazy Grace: people get killed for their phones Janis: alright after school special Janis: worry 'bout yourself then, never off yours, you'd be fucked Grace: excuse me for not wanting you dead Grace: & I dropped mine so it is Janis: unlucky Janis: excuse to say you've lost all their numbers though Grace: that was obvs my plan not just a clumsy bitch 🙄🙄 Janis: 👌 Janis: less believeable than you getting a boy to stick for 7 weeks but we'll roll with it Grace: UM rude Grace: it's 7 boys, lasting a week Janis: 😏 7 dickheads for the price of 1, whatever Grace: even I can keep a boy for a week Janis: the real questions Grace: it's not a q, I can Janis: LOL Grace: stop being a bitch & let me in Janis: finally Grace: ILY too babes Janis: yeah yeah Grace: & you're so welcome 💜 Janis: shut up I'm coming as fast as I can alright Grace: it's literally raining btw Janis: let's hope dickhead ain't planned a picnic Grace: 😂😂 Grace: 💔

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neoculturetechxgot7 · 6 years ago

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♤ // Six of Spades // ♤

part 1

Summary - Mark Lee offers you to join his semi-legal club, where he and his friends count cards and win money playing blackjack every Saturday night.

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader

Au: College!Au, Gambling!Au

Word Count: 2,5k

Warnings: Gambling references, mild language

All the dull golden rays coming from the streetlights lining the pavement do little to provide illumination, as you hastily walk across a deserted neighbourhood, hand clutching onto the soft material of your coat. It's silent, too silent to be comfortable but you keek going, feet slightly shaking, both from the cold breeze pickling its way through your clothing and the eerie atmosphere around you, as if every soul has vanished.

A sudden roaring has you jumping in terror, as a car speeds past you, leaving a trail of thick black fume on and your heart banging erratically inside your chest. "Focus" you mutter to yourself in an attempt to calm your nerves and reminisce his words.

"Left turn on the central road, then right after the cathedral and left again. Look for the neon sign." Mark's raspy voice echoes in your head like a ghost and your gaze lands on a small gated church ahead of you, newfound hope blooming inside your chest. You're in the right route.

Picking up your pace with a faint grin, following the orders that black haired boy had given you, your feet stroll on the grey concrete quicker, anticipation growing inside of you. His image unconsciously flows in your mind, with his glassy eyes that possess the sweetest shade of chestnut and his sharp edges and high cheekbones and that damn smile that's so boldly carved in your brain, as if his pearly teeth can brighten away every shadow.

Another turn and you find yourself in a narrow alley, the complete lack of lighting pulling you out of your thoughts to look up the hugh buildings caging you inbetween paint-chipped walls, a smell of gasoline and trash in the air. Beaming neon letters catch your attention, brushing purple strokes of light on the ground. "Three Of Diamonds" the sign reads, decorating the wall above a rusty door, old enough for you to wonder whether it will collapse upon knocking on it. After convincing yourself that this is indeed the right place and taking a few hesitant steps through the shadows, your knuckles bang on the cool metal twice. You can her shuffling from the other side and then the screeching sound of hinges, before a familiar face appears before you, strands hair messily pocking out of a green beanie and a large hoodie hugging his figure.

His eyes light up at the sight of you shyly greeting him with and airy wave of your hand, the corner of his mouth forming a smirk. "I was starting to think you wouldn't show up after all." He says before gesturing you inside, voice smooth as silk.

"Well, I was seriously debating whether to come or not." You reply with a raised eyebrow and step inside the small residence. Or better say, warehouse. The floor is dusty, weird stains evident of its rough surface and a discreet smell of mold makes you noticeably cringe. You begin scanning your surroundings to notice a red leather couch on the side of the room and a tv hanged on the wall across you.

"I'm glad you came." Mark captures your attention, geaturing towards the large table in the center of the room, covered in thick green felt and single deck of cards laying on top. "Have a seat."

You mentally count the chairs around it, adding up to a total of 6. "Who else are we waiting for?" You ask watching him grab one and turn one around and sit with his elbows propped on its back, fingers already shuffling the cards in an instinctive way.

"Renjun, Jeno, Heachan and Jeamin." Every name rings in your ears like a bell to trigger hour memory. You recognize them, but have yet to officially meet anyone . Jeno and Renjun are in the same major as you and you share a couple of classes with Heachan and Jeamin, but other than that -and some quick glances in the hallways- you have no other interaction with them.

Your coat slides off your shoulders and you settle down next to him. His presence stirs up something inside you, emotions mixing up in an mysterious combination.

"You're smart, I guess you've already figured out why I called you here, right?" Mark asked, his dark chocolate eyes not leaving yours.

You really wished you had. "It's something that involves gambling." You said pointing at the deck in his hands and he nodded. "And I think it's kinda illegal..." You continued, earning a chuckle from him, his head shaking in agreement. "Other than that, I really dont know."

Mark leaned back in his seat. "So, you got a good idea of the whole concept." That smirk lingered on his lips again. "But you're missing some basic details. Allow me to explain. Remember what I told you yesterday in the library?" You hummed in agreement and brought your weird encounter back.

Mark Lee was the hot senior that got involved in almost everything, his name well known among students and professors around campus. You had met through common friends in a party last year and he was polite enough to greet you every time he passed by you at the hallway, but you didn't talk that much to consider him anything more than an acquaintance. So it was out of nowhere when he sat across from you, while you were sank in your physics text book, and sparked a conversation. "Hey, I've heard you're really great at linear algebra" You were startled and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his awkward compliment. "Uh...thanks." Mark leaned loser, his fingers tangled together on the wooden table. "Do you, by any chance, happen to know how to play blackjack?" You were taken aback by that. What? Why was he even asking such a thing? You set the book down and tilted you head to the side. "Yeah...But I've never been to a casino before." Your voice came out low and hesitant.

"Great. Now one last question. Would you like to earn fast cash?" That caught you off guard. You didn't respond and kept staring at him, trying to pinpoint signs that would prove he was just messing with you. Maybe this was a prank, he was a senior after all. But he didn't even flutter an eyelash as he waited for your answer, eyes trying to read your expression, and you had to admit, his question had picked at your interest. You ducked forward, your eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?" Mark scanned the room, moving form rows and rows of books to students that were walking by. "I can't really tell you here. But we can meet up somewhere close by." His voice was only a hoarse whisper as he started giving you directions to the location. "Tomorrow, 11. And don't tell anyone." He swiftly got up with a grin plastered on his face and made his way out, leaving you with a confused grimace, trying to make sense of the last 2 minutes with him.

And now you were sitting across Mark, as he proceeded to explain the reason he had invited you over. "So basically we play this game, blackjack" his fingers were quick to start dealing the cards he was holding around the table. "And we place bets. I guess it is gambling yes, but we're not really gamblers." He spared you a single knowing glance before placing another card on your pile. "A gambler plays based solely on their luck. They take risks, bet on chance. We, on the other hand, bet on an insured win."

You crossed your arms over you chest, biting your lip while trying to understand where he was going with that. Once done dealing the cards, he sat down, facing you. "See, we've found this way, this method, to predict our chances of winning."

"How?" you cut him off. He smirked at the curiosity written across your face. "It's simple, we count cards and play accordingly. We bet, we win and we gain money. And practically, 'counting' isn't illegal, only the gambling club we play in is." You laughed at his remark.

A few long moments of silence followed, where Mark fidgeted with the sleeve of his hoodie, waiting for you to respond. "So, you go to your nice little gambling club or whatever, you do this 'counting' thing and win money. Sounds nice. But why am I here?"

"So" He paused to wipe his palm on his tighs, with a sigh before he continued, shrugging. "This club we play in is only for college students and we usually win a fair amount of cash but we wanted something more. Try to catch the big fish."

You nodded at his words, seeing where that would end.

"So we have decided to try our 'luck' in an actual..." Your voice cut him off mid-sentence "Casino." Mark grinned, he liked that you were following him that well. "But we need one more person. Someone that has the skills." "And that's where I come in." "Yeah." You got up and began pacing around, his eyes following you.

Once more, silence fell over the room as you took your time, processing every bit of information Mark had given you the last 5 minutes. For a few seconds you wondered if this whole offer was legit, or Mark was simply pranking you, just as you had thought in the library. He and four other guys were going to this gambling club where they counted cards and made themselves richer and richer every time, but apparently that wasn't enough for them and they needed you, a complete stranger that was good in algebra, to help them do the same in an actual casino. As in, cheat in an actual casino....as in practically rob an actual casino. Yeah, ain't happening.

"No way." You spat out standing in front of him. Mark tensed up, his face morphing into a frown. "What? Why?"

"I don't know...maybe because I don't want to go to jail for illegal gambling?" Sarcasm dripped from your tongue as you pronounced every word, shoulders shrugging. He jolted up from his chair, lightly grasping your arm, sending shivers down your spine. A reassuring look settled on his face as he leaned closer. "That's not happening. I already told you counting isn't illegal, no one can arrest you for counting cards. And it's only for one night..."

A loud banging on the door interrupted your conversation, causing you both to turn to that direction. Mark sighed and reached for the door, to let four boys, whose faces you instantly recognized, inside. One of them, Jeno, had black hair and a tall, muscular frame just as his blonde friend Jaemin, the one that run to pull Mark into a tight embrace upon entering. The other two, Heachan and Renjun walked in afterwards, patting their friend on the back, before coming to stand around the table, eyes focusing on you. Mark pushed the door closed and came to stand by you, hand lingering on the small of your back as he gestured you to the others.

"So guys, y/n, decided to join us for today's session." Mark announced and Jeno stepped forward extending his arm to shake your hand. "Hey, I'm Jeno." His smile made his eyes crinkle. "We're together in linear algebra."

"Yeah, but I didn't know you had noticed me before." You replied, arching your eyebrow.

"Actually, Jeno was the one that took an interest in your skills." Mark commented and you watched the other chuckle and run a hand through his locks. "Yeah, I was really impressed with your answers in lectures. I think you'd be really good at counting." He winked at the last sentence.

You mumbled a brief 'thank you' as Jeno took a seat around the table, beside yours. Next to him was Jaemin who instantly waved when your eyes landed on him. He introduced himself to you and you did the same, then moved on to the next one, Renjun, who leaned over the table to shake your hand. His voice was soft but a steady tone tangled throughout his words. Lastly, came Heachan, who had picked up the pile of cards in front of him, already fanning them out in his fingers. He didn't even bother to raise his glance at you when you asked for his name -even though you were well aware of it and the popular, rebellious status that came with it-. "Haechan." His tone was cold, almost spiteful, as he kept chewing his gum and eyeing the numbers on his cards, uninterested in you.

Mark didn't seem to notice his friend's behaviour as he continued. "So I was just telling her about our plan"

"And I think I'm gonna have to pass on your generous offer. What you got going on seems fun, I guess, but I'd prefer not to risk it." You cut him off once more, hand reaching for you coat on the chair, before Mark swiftly placed his own over it. "Wait." He just can't take 'no' for an answer, can he?

"Mark, I think I've made up my mind." You said breathlessly, your eyes rolling before you pressed your lips together in slight annoyance.

He didn't back down. "I think you haven't. Because you knew something was going on here yet you came. That must mean something." His voice was low but soft, words hitting a spot inside you. "Maybe it was just my curiosity." You replied, shrugging.

Mark's eyes glimmered under the dim yellow light inside the warehouse. "Aren't you curious about how we do this then? Wouldn't you want to play one round to find out?" A sigh left your lips as you rolled your eyes. "Mark..."

"Y/n please, just one round." Mark insisted, his fingers squeezing yours. You looked over at the table, where the others were fanning out their cards and Jeno selecting the top card from the deck. As much as you wanted to walk out that door and forget about Mark Lee's stupid offer, you couldn't hide the desire burning in your chest. There was something luring you to that green-felt covered table, the pile of cards in front of your seat calling for you and the looks of the men around you, as if pleading you to stay. Even Haechan's attention was withdrawn from his cards and focused on you. And you needed money too, it wasn't like you were gonna land a good paying job the minute you graduate college either way. But above all, you needed, a little of what seemed like an adventure. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

You took a deep breath, blinking a couple of times. With a groan you pulled your chair back and sat down, gathering the cards in your palm, as you watched Mark Lee's smile making an appearance on his face again and Jeno, the dealer for tonight, sliding a single card to the center of the table. The ace of spades to start the game.

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the-letter-horror-lover · 2 years ago

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Boruto What Did You Do! by PeachCandyWrappers

Anime » Naruto Rated: T, English, Adventure, Naruto U., Boruto U., Sarada U., Mitsuki, Words: 3k+, Favs: 53, Follows: 67, Published: Nov 14, 2016

A/N:

This fanfiction is an AU, I am well aware that the original Boruto hasn't unlocked the byakugan yet but in this fanfiction i'm saying that Hinata and Hiashi trained him in both the gentle fist and helped him work with his byakugan. Also he has pale eyes like regular Hyuugas not Naruto's eyes. Also I'm writing this AU so the time is set before the movie. I've watched the movie and I think I died of second hand embarrassment over the fuck shit Boruto did during the chunin exams. Shikadai ftw.

Anyway you know the deal, none of this other than the writing itself belongs to me.

There were very few things that Boruto hated more than the phrase, "Sorry Bolt, Tou-san has work to do." It was aggravating, infuriating, and every time it was uttered it made him want to choke someone. Which was why he had taken every ounce of anger he had and shoved it into his training, in secret. Oh he knew there was no way he wasn't stalked by ANBU every time he left the house but no one other than the ANBU and his family (to an extent) knew of his training. Not even Konohamaru-sensei.

So when he was forced to spend the entire day doing D-ranks, he was more than ready to shove all his quickly building anger into training. Did he have anger issues? Quite possibly, however he didn't really care, it's not like he was going to go see the Yamanaka for something that motivated him to train. He was almost bursting at the seams trying to dash to training ground 42, a training ground that was avoided like the plague due to some superstitious rumor about the shinigami themself dragging you into hell. Bullshit to that, it was perfect for training without being interrupted. But as of the present, he wasn't there yet. He was still ignoring the droning of his father's shadow clone, assigning the latest Team 7 their new D-rank. He shifted his eyes a little, scoffing inwardly at Sarada's star struck look. Really, in his opinion Sarada's obsession with his father was a fool's quest and sort've creepy for that matter. His eyes then landed on Mitsuki, whose golden eyes sparkled with amusement at his dismissive attitude toward his father. Boruto raised a single eyebrow in questioning. Mitsuki shook his head, the action unnoticable if you weren't actively searching for a response.

Boruto left with his team, emotionlessly weeding the garden, robotically picking out the items assigned from the grocery store, and dispassionately marching up a tree to grab the escaped cat (thankfully not Tora). His pale eyes were detached and looked dead, his body was almost moving instinctively at this point.

"Oi, Bolt, what's wrong with you today? You're acting like Uncle Sai but worse." Sarada punched him lightly in the shoulder, a teasing grin decorating her face. Mitsuki leaned in, "He's probably distracted by that girl we saw at the supermarket, I think I heard Sensei wolf whistle." he stated with a placid smile on his face.

Sarada whipped around, incredulity written on her face, "Nani?! What girl? Sensei wolf whistled?" Mitsuki shrugged, and chuckled lightly when Sensei flicked the back of his head.

"That's enough of that Mitsuki." he chided jokingly, a small blush on his face as he looked away.

"Ha ha very funny," Boruto scoffed, walking away from the team in the opposite direction of training ground 42.

"Wait where are you going! We still need to report to the Hokage after a finished mission!" Sarada called after him.

"The clone won't care whether i'm there or not, you guys can go on your own." he yelled over his shoulder, his hands behind his head in a uncaring manner. Inside him however, he was practically raging. He was beyond ticked off, his anger had just kept building after this morning's lecture on the importance of D-rank missions. He really needed to blow off some steam, and fast.

"Ah young master, would you be interested in our newest product? It lets you copy any jutsu-"

"Yeah that's great, whatever." the fuck off was implied. He should've just traveled by rooftop, no pesky advertising civilians there. Slipping into a vacated alleyway, he walked up the walls and quickly sprinted with all he had across the roofs of Konoha. He wasn't in the mood to play, he wasn't before and he wasn't now.

Finally arriving in his training ground, he quickly did his stretches, making sure he didn't pull a muscle during training. Slipping naturally into the rigid form of the gentle fist, he burst into movement, mentally mapping out all 361 of the tenketsu points that the robot dummy didn't have. He rarely used the gentle fist when venting his anger because he needed a near surgical amount of chakra control and focus, something that didn't come easily to him. However logically, if he practiced the gentle fist while he was angry, he would get experience on keeping his emotions in check and focusing with internal distractions. That being said, as the gentle fist taijutsu style was practically a glorified poking fest, it was not in anyway satisfying unless he was against a real person. He set himself to practice one hour of gentle fist, and then he would practice his kaiten.

Kaiten, a technique passed down only between the members of the main house, and luckily enough he was considered an honorary main house member thanks to his mother's insistence. Surprisingly, his grandfather didn't hate him. Sure, his way of showing affection was by gut loading him with jutsus and techniques. But Boruto wasn't complaining at all, in fact he got along quite well with his grandfather if he did say so himself. They played Go, Shogi, and had tea together when he had the time. He was currently in the process of learning the eight trigrams and according to his grandfather his progress was adequate enough to receive a brand new set of shuriken and kunai. Now that he thought about it… it was actually kind of sad to receive more attention from your grandfather than your own father.

The fastest recorded speed of the Kaiten was 1200 km/h (745.6 mph) as of now he was too slow. He needed to be faster, it was crucial for nearly all of his techniques, including the eight trigrams. Hell, he was so desperate he went to Lee-san once.

Never again.

He shuddered at the remembrance of the kill-me-now shade of green and orange that he wore. Add that color to spandex? And you get the love child of Satan and a carrot.

Quickly shaking his head to rid himself of his thoughts he went deeper into the forest that Training Ground 42 provided. His aim was to hopefully increase the range of his byakugan as he could only see about 50 to 60 meters, 70 if he was pushing it. His mother could see almost 10 kilometers. It was absolutely mind blowing how far her range was. A small, childish part of him was filled with jealousy but then he was reminded of how his mother went through all the shit she did and suddenly his jealousy left him.

Activating his byakugan, his world once again turned into headache inducing grayscale and blue. He was about to go and practice hitting tenketsu points on the boar he saw to the west, however a shimmering glimmer to the east caught his attention.

"What in kami's name..." he mumbled as he ran toward the shine, extremely wary as to what had caught his attention.

"No way." he breathed in disbelief as he got closer and it was a rock, shining chakra. He would've noticed if it was a person disguised as a rock, and even then it was extremely hard to be disguised as an object the size of a tennis ball. He stopped at a good distance from the rock, wary of fuinjutsu traps. It was the only other explanation to the chakra on the rock. However why would anyone put a seal on a rock in the middle of a barely used training ground? I snagged a nearby squirrel and chucked it at the rock. Cruel, yes, but better it then him. The squirrel chattered angrily and scampered away unharmed.

Cocking his head to the side in obvious confusion Boruto inched closer and closer, ready to spring at any moment. Annoyance coursed through him in the form of a tic mark on his forehead, where were the damn ANBU when you needed them? He tucked his hand into his sleeve and grabbed the rock carefully, making sure not to have skin contact with the potentially dangerous rock. Taking a closer look, his eyes widened at the intricate golden carvings lacing through the shiny blue rock. It was beautiful, complex and elegant in every way. Taking out a handkerchief that Kaa-san had embroidered for him, he wrapped it and tucked it in the ninja pouch around his leg.

Only to forget it's very existence.

=========time skip 2 months==========

"I'm enrolling you brats in the next chunin exams." Sensei declared dramatically, gripping Boruto in a headlock and ruffling his hair.

"Sensei! Get off me dattebasa!" he shouted indignantly. Sarada snickered,

"You look like a baby chicken with his feathers ruffled." she commented smugly.

"Fuck off Salad." he shot back with no real heat behind it. Mitsuki simply smiled while Sarada puffed up in anger.

"Don't call me-" she started, however Konohamaru-sensei had (thankfully) shut her up by clearing his throat.

"Ahem, anyway the exams are in two weeks," he crossed his arms in a challenging position, "I don't expect a ragtag group like you guys to get promoted, hell I doubt you all will make it to the third stage."

Mitsuki's golden eyes glinted dangerously at the dare, while Boruto positively bristled. Sarada however, stepped forward with her arms cross in a mirror position to her sensei's.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we." Her onyx eyes were steeled with determination and her could've sworn that he saw flames flickering in her eyes.

Sensei smirked, leaning down to her eye level.

"I guess so."

Boruto fell back, sweating heavily. A wide grin split across his face as he fell back into the ground with a proud laugh.

"I did it! I fucking did it dattebasa!"

He pumped his arm into the air, a victorious 'whoop' leaving his lips. He was dirty, sweaty, bloody, and chakra depleted but he had finally succeeded in performing the Kaiten.

If possible, his smile stretched further, with one thought going through his head.

'Watch out shitty old man, you won't know what hit you.'

As his vision faded into darkness he vaguely noted an ANBU agent above him.

"The chunin exams will now begin. Everyone who is participating please join the rest of the participants in the center." The announcer's disgustingly happy voice sounded through the area. Boruto cringed at the grating sound, it was so obviously fake that he wanted to puke.

"Here we go" Sarada smiled nervously, breathing deeply to calm herself. Mitsuki seemed as calm as ever as he walked on Sarada's left. Boruto was walking on her right, wordlessly handing her a bottle of cold water. She nodded gratefully, taking a swing and tossing it back.

"Every genin team will stand together on the side that they believe is the correct answer. " Sai-san explained, shooting his hand up to draw attention to the screen which flashed the question,

"In the fifth volume of the "Shinobi Strategist Detective Story", True or False, the passwords in volume 5 are as follows:"

"Moon is day, Mountain is river, and Flower is Nectar."

Boruto scrunched his face up in confusion, "The first round of the chunin exams is to answer a true or false question about so no name book that nobody has ever heard of or read?"

Sarada looked at him seriously, "Boruto, which answer do you think my father would choose?"

"Eh?" he asked, confused by the sudden question, "I don't really talk that often with Mr. Sasuke but he's kind've the unconventional type so I'm assuming false. What's with the question?"

"I'm going to be Hokage someday, and in order to do that i'll have to be different from my father." Sarada looked him straight in the eyes, her own obsidian orbs burning with sheer willpower.

"So we'd go with true." Mitsuki chimed in, already on his way toward the platform reserved for those who thought true was the correct answer.

Boruto sweatdropped, "Sheesh flipping a coin would've gotten us a more logical answer than that." he muttered.

"What was that?!" Sarada yelled back from her position in front of him.

"Nothing, nothing."

"The answer to the question was..."

The screen rapidly flipped between x and o, only to land on both. In a split second, the ground beneath them ripped and all the contestants fell in the massive pit. Thinking fast, Boruto quickly channeled chakra to his hands and feet, managing to catch himself at the last moment, allowing Sarada to grab onto both Mitsuki and himself with her ninja wire. Peering down below him, he saw that the bottom was layered in a pool of black ink, covering the unfortunate souls who fell.

"That was close." he breathed, chuckling lightly from the unexpected adrenaline rush. Sarada hummed in agreement, staring down into the black ink below.

The second trial was capture the flag but with weapons and ninjutsu. Everything was allowed except for leaving the enclosed area.

"Sarada, stay and guard our flag, call us if you need backup. I'll go scout for a flag with Mitsuki." Sarada opened her mouth to argue but Boruto activated his byakugan, making a silent point. She backed off reluctantly, huffing slightly.

"Let's head north, there's an average chakra signature there and there doesn't seem to be any backup nearby."

"We're counting on you Sarada." Mitsuki commented.

"Sarada! Three enemies to your 6 o'clock-" Boruto yelled into the headset, warning her of the enemies.

"Mitsuki!" Boruto gave a silent request to his white haired partner, who was already heading back to give her support.

"I'll handle the retrieval, Sarada hang in there until Mitsuki gets back."

"Yeah, yeah! I got this, there's no reason to be so upset-" the sound of metal clashing against metal. "It's just three-" more metal clashes and yells, "Idiots from the hidden mist!"

Boruto gnawed on his teeth but relaxed as he saw Mitsuki return. Muting his headset to sneak up on the opposing nin, he crouched behind the broken vent. Thankfully it wasn't a Konoha genin so the flag was fair game. To be fair, the guy probably deserved to have his flag taken, the failure of a ninja didn't even notice Boruto was there. He shot forward, sweeping the guy from behind, only to have him jump. It was some no name Iwa nin.

"Argh! What the-" Boruto shot forward again, aiming for the tenketsu point on the back of his knee. As the tap landed, the Iwa nin let out a howl of pain, his right leg locking up and refusing to move.

"Fuck! You son of a bitch that fucking hurt!" his opponent slashed and hacked at Boruto with his tanto. Boruto dodged and weaved, finally hitting the pressure point at the base of the neck and forcing the Iwa nin unconscious.

"Che, that was pathetic." the scoffed unmuting his headset and heading back towards home base with a red flag in hand.

"I take it you have the flag?" Sarada's voice sounded from the other side.

"That's right, how's it going on your side?" Boruto asked.

"Can't you just see it with your byakugan?" Sarada muttered unhappily.

"Just because you can't use the sharingan as well as I can my byakugan doesn't give you a right to vent on me." he smirked, his voice light and teasing.

"Aren't you two getting along just fabulously, like an old married couple." Mitsuki deadpanned.

"Shut up Mitsuki." they hissed synonymously.

"Would you look at that," Boruto mused, "I'm up against Shikadai." Sarada looked at the match board and whistled sympathetically.

"That's not going to be easy, he's the smartest kid in our generation." she patted him on the shoulder, "Good luck Bolt, I bet he can't even back out of the exams like he wants to because the Godaime Kazekage is watching."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah good luck."

"The match between Nara Shikadai and Uzumaki Boruto will begin in 3, 2, 1, HAJIME!"

Boruto launched forward, immediately falling into the gentle fist style like usual. His byakugan was on full force and he was fully aware of all the streaks of shadows snaking towards him.

"Did your mom make you do this?" Boruto asked, pity coloring his voice.

"Don't you know it." Shikadai grumbled, spiking the shadows upwards. "It's even worse because apparently both my uncles are gambling on this match."

Boruto danced around the spikes, trying to get closer to the Nara child. "Gaara-san gambles?" incredulity was clearly written on his whiskered face.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Shikadai was almost whining at this point.

"Man that sucks, sorry about that." Boruto was nearly there, but it was incredibly difficult to corner someone in a round arena.

"I wouldn't pity me if I were you, I heard both your dad and you grandfather-" Shikadai dodged a volley of kunai, "gambled on your win."

Boruto nearly tripped and fell, allowing the shadows to edge dangerously close, "Grandfather gambled?!"

Shikadai shrugged, sending doton pillars toward the two whiskered child. "That's what I heard from my dad." Boruto ran up the pillars and used them as a platform to rocket toward the pineapple haired kid, who kept jumping back, putting distance between the two. Boruto smirked as he saw the shadows edging in on him from all sides. This was the perfect chance!

"KAITEN!"

The moment Shikadai and Bolt started the casual conversation about their relatives gambling, multiple faces palms and sweat drops were spread across the audience. Including one Hiashi Hyuuga who tried as hard as he could to edge away from both his daughter's accusing stares in the most dignified manner possible. The same could be said for the two sand brothers who could feel Temari's heated glares hitting them. Shikamaru ran a tired hand over his face,

"Goddammit Shikadai." he groaned. Naruto, who had his head buried in his hands gave an agreeing moan of despair.

"KAITEN!"

Every single person watching went completely rigid as they watched the son of the Nanadaime Hokage perform a technique not normally accessible until high chunin or jounin at least. Jaws dropped as they saw Boruto spin in a ball of chakra, deflecting every single strand of shadows and zoom towards Shikadai.

"Kaiten? Hinata taught him the Kaiten?!" Naruto slammed his hands on the railing, his voice tight as he was forcefully reminded of Neji. All the Hyuuga in the audience nearly lost their composure as some of the less composed members cheered and hollered in approval.

Hiashi sat back, a proud smile on his face as Hanabi had the widest grin since her sister's wedding.

"Neji-niisan" Hinata whispered happily, her matching pale eyes laden with tears.

"Holy shit..." Sarada whispered, and Mitsuki couldn't help but agree.

Shikadai's eyes widened considerably, scrambling to get out of the way of the spinning ball of destruction.

"Boruto! I surrender!" he yelled, almost collapsing in relief when Boruto slowed to a stop, panting heavily.

Boruto stopped, almost depleted of chakra when he jerked back as the blue stone from earlier flung out of his pouch powered by the momentum left behind from the Kaiten. Instinctively, he reached out to grab it only to realise his mistake as time slowed down.

"AAAHHHHHGGG!"

Hot, liquid pain coursed through every single one of his nerves as he screamed. Bright, glowing gold invaded his vision as he felt almost as if he was getting ripped apart atom by atom. Vaguely he could feel someone grab onto him and scream his name but he was far from the point of focusing on anything other than the agony he was being forced into. Unconsciousness was bliss for him as he greedily welcomed Morpheus' embrace.

Everything happened in a split second, when Shikadai surrendered Naruto was ready to cheer and rub his victory into Gaara's face. Only to be cut off by the most pained scream he had ever heard in his life. Well, that may not be true however he was nearly driven insane by the scream. His son, his flesh and blood, someone who he had sworn to protect in anyway possible, screaming in pain like that. He didn't even know what was happening. Boruto was glowing and writhing on the ground. Naruto let out an agonized yell as he saw in closer detail that his son was disintegrating into a shower of gold dust.

"BORUTO!" he screamed as he leaped over the railing and shot toward his son as fast as possible, Sarada was already at his side trying to get rid of whatever he was holding onto.

"Sarada don't touch him!" Mitsuki yelled as his extended arm tried to drag Sarada back.

In a yellow flash and golden sparkles, the Nanadaime Hokage and the genin of team 7 were gone.

And everything erupted into pandemonium.

#boruto fanfiction

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