#i am tired and in need of attention
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Chat I fucked up lolz I wrote frank twice and no ray
#im sorry ray i didnt mean to leave you at the gas station too#mcr#mcr5#micheal romance#my chemical romance#my chem#gerard way#frank iero#mikey way#ray toro#i am tired and in need of attention#goodnight :3
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I really wanted to draw them but I was lazy
I I really like them.
I may or may not image them being the cutest sweetest intimate no homo bros ever and Dream just. Has to deal with his husbands oddly obliviousness to how fucking gay he is with Epic. And he joins in cause at some point I became a sucker for cookies and cream.
That somehow reminds me I really need to draw some bruh x broski soon its been so damn long
#they're so#but#I need sleep I'm going to die#utmv#sans au#undertale au#sanscest#cross sans#epic sans#cross x epic#epic x cross#epicross#crepic#brude#them and their stupid ship names#UwU#I am. so tired#eepy style#I have so many things in my head how do I deal with it#these stories are going crazy there are at least 17 AUs trying to get my attention in my head
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i love looking at hot takes and realizing that some outsiders fans don’t realize that fandom is something fun. nothing is truly that serious at the end of the day.
#ik i am a hypocrite but like fuck y’all HATE when people have fun with ensemble characters#like let people have fun and do shit#keep your head down and don’t be an ass#i’m chill with about 99% of the fandom cause of that#but some of y’all are insane#and book fans hate musical fans for some reason and will not shut the fuck up about it#like glad you like the book that’s great!! love that and i’d love to discuss it but the musical is not the root of all evil#oh nooo they added more characters cause you need more for a musical to function#every adaptation changes things lemme hold your hand i promise it’s okay that this happens#also y’all realize some things were cut cause they needed to fit in the MUSIC. cause it’s a MUSICAL#and none of these ensemble are magically getting more lines#idk i’m tired of the fighting cause it’s notttttt that deep and y’all hate seeing musical fans have fun#also you aren’t better than me for not shipping something holy fuck#i don’t care that you don’t ship something i do#one of my best friends in the world doesn’t ship one of my main three ships and we get alone very well#that’s not my issue#my issue is people acting like they understand the story more or are immune to mischaracterizing the characters#they can be shipped and still hold true to themselves#these tags are a lot of yap but i’m tired and sad and pissed off so#y’all get this#this happens so much with cherrycola acting like it gets rid of their major character traits#the whole point is they are FRIENDS before they ever get together#they don’t get together til LATER ON#they have to heal and work out their own issues#“but cherry said blah blah to ponyboy”#consider its cause her boyfriend just threatened to kill a child. she may have been a little shaken up and not wanted#to bring more trouble and attention to him#anyway#the outsiders#the outsiders broadway
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its my bday today so heres a new meet the artist :3
#muertodraws#finished my first day of grad school#i would have enjoyed it more if this fuck ass heat wave wasnt happening#but it wasnt too bad im excited to get to workin#also this mta is the first one where i felt like i didnt have to try hard#im allowing myself to exist as i am#and it feels nice#that includes the questioning of autism#aka i am probably autistic#i just struggle with gaslighting myself#but im learnig that autistic coping skills really work for me#like stimming and paying attention to my sensory and social needs#so that has been interesting#anyway#i am super tired but kind of hopeful :)#so thats nice#trans artist#queer artist#meet the artist
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GUYS I AM TEACHING EMMA NEXT TO MY SENIORS AND I AM EXCITED/SCARED
#excited because a handful of the quietest ones are quietly looking forward to it in the purest way#scared/tired because there’s a group of toad boys who won’t give a damn lol#but you know. it’s like. learn from Mr. Elton boys!#l o l#teaching tag#this class is really hard for me#because when I force myself to remove my gaze from the group of toad boys who do not give a damn and will never#(they are beyond the scope of my reaching them)#there are many quiet sweethearts who honestly just wanna learn#like. they really do.#but I hate the presence of the toads#it’s so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#like I am just flattened by it in spirit#I really need to redirect my attention n
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in the backs of my eyes, light does not reach. black and white, monochrome stars, inky null and blinding full. others dream, and my thoughtlessness seeks. though i cannot see, and though i cannot breathe in every moment my eyes breach free- i dream. not for grandeur, not for fillment, i dream of nothing but hope. for days where i could, for the days i would dream. sitting in the back seat. squalid radio turned to rage. looking at her shoulder’s locks, dreaming of the cage. taken to my first bar, shown my first rave not forgotten, not forsaken, the only love i will take to my grave. cigarettes and mud, alleys and grunge all i wanted was saving. gone so far, seeded so deep, until it whittled into camaraderie. when the shows over, she’d take me home and leave me in her bed. that night i would be cherished, and that morning we'd be fed. i see their faces in my dreams, as every possibility, every tangle, every thread, every filament held together. like a bastion of memory, creating false to fill the empty. to grant hope to a greyscale null. * * starlight ash, the null of the void, the hopes of a begotten child. is there anything to hear, when the screams are of fear, or choking of brittle and tears? his hopes were so mild, his rage was unbridled, how could she be any different? feel her eyes shiver, feel her soul take, feel the ties of the poverished ingrate. your help cannot find it, your thoughts cannot find it, your hands cannot feel it, your heart cannot take it, your legs cannot shake it and your teeth cannot break it. in every part of you is her no matter how hard you fight it has been the end of her not of her blight. only of her light.
#im so tired. i want anyone to talk to or be with. ever. i miss being alive. i miss dreaming. i miss hoping. i miss having things to hope for#it doesnt have to be too late. so i try. but it always ends up feeling like it is. im so alone. so scared. i just need a way in. to life.#a way into a group. something other than this isolating pain.#this is the best way i could describe my feelings. esp since begging for attention doesnt work. but it isnt enough. i have so many dreams.#so many hopes i am forgetting every second. please. god i wish i could be normal and not have to beg or bare myself fully like this.#i honestly wish i could be more private but i need to beg. and idk how else to. im so desperate for any interaction god fuck i hate it here
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guy who only asks questions if they feel insightful enough to be worth asking and only hangs out if there is smth to do together <- deeply uncomfortable of the idea of wasting someones time
#yes i was constantly accused of not paying attention for asking questions i didnt know someone already asked why do you ask#maybe it does sound a little sad when i put it as 'i feel most comfortable when i feel like im not wasting the other persons time'#but its more like i want the other person to feel like im putting thought or at least care into it even if i dont express it very well#its weird feeling like im not giving back enough in the conversation but not knowing why or being confused by the idea#of someone who just likes to listen to me talk and not waiting for their turn to speak like i do like. arent you tired of it yet>?#how are you not thinking of ways to get out of this conversation yet??? it fascinates me bc ill never understand it#i like how we are now talking abt not letting yourself feel like a burden for asking for help and letting people help you#but i am on the other side of the spectrum where i want to feel needed when we hang out or else i wont know how to let u know me#yapping#diary#I hate feeling like this cuz it feels like im coming up with new and creative ways to defend myself instead of being myself
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post specifically for the drag🌊🍑
#personal#delete later#my face#i am so tired and it stressed me out pls like it or something i need something resembling attention
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i'm trying to watch a trans guy critique some video game trans rep bc i'm interested in hearing more trans ppl talk about it. but he's very. i'm paraphrasing here but "why would anyone ever in a million years want their rpg character to have top surgery scars. isnt that a constant reminder to you and everyone around you about how you were born" and "you don't work on transitioning. you just need hormone treatment and possibly some--"
#i get that some trans men need to fight themselves and everyone around them to feel ''man enough'' in like a semi toxic masculinity way#but its kinda tiring to hear ngl. im sorry you feel that way and i know not having been born cis sucks and i understand your emotions but d#you have to make them my problem. like idk i feel like my transition DID take work and#personally for me my top surgery scars are a positive reminder of how far ive gotten#when i pay them any attention. which is not very often#man im just existing not analyzing every part of my body at all times#yknow. some ppl sound like they watched a bit too much of a certain youtuber who was rancid about other trans men and talked about stuff li#like how theres a mens and womens way to flip your middle finger and stuff.#sight thats so besides the point#anyways i am open to hearing opinions that differ from mine and i want to do that but some people you just dont vibe with#leevi talks#obvs no hate to this creator btw. he speaks about stuff very well but some little word choices here and there rub me the wrong way#and he has good points so far i am intrigued of what he has to say i just needed a break to bitch so i can continue#edit: no this video isnt even good. like i dont agree with bioware but he sounds like hes just on purpose misunderstanding everything#so he has more stuff to get mad about for his video#is it ragebait
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This is probably the most you will ever see me take a stance on something on this blog or any blog of mine but it needs to be said.
Some of you all cannot comprehend the idea that maybe if someone sees problematic content like for instance NC-kink art and goes out commits actual assault, that is just their fault for going out and doing that. The art is not asking them to do that, the artist is not encouraging them to do that, it is not “normalizing the behaviour” because I think we all know it is wrong to actually do those things and if you do not that is a problem with you not the artist. Do not try to feed me that problematic art is “encouraging people who don’t know any better” because that is a flawed argument for a multitude of reasons. If someone uses the art they see as an excuse then they were already looking for a scapegoat to begin with.
It is just taking the blame away from the actual perpetrator again for the sake of harassing people online and not doing anything to support actual victims. You harassing an artist online is not going to change anyones mind like that, if someone in the audience was already going to commit that crime they’re still going to do it. Harassing someone changes nothing except for making the artist’s life unnecessarily difficult.
Do not even get me started on the fact a lot of problematic kink stems from people who are victims. You all just need to learn that if you do not like something you can block and move on, it is your choice what content you interact with. I hate incest and pedophilic content, it disgusts me, but I am just going to block the person and avoid them instead of telling them to kill themselves. I can keep my hatred of the concepts and art to myself. It is not that hard.
If you want moral points so bad, do something that actually benefits victims. The Anti Vs. Proship battle is stupid and our focus should be somewhere else.
That is all.
#Just posting this since I know my lobotomy post might garner a certain kind of attention.#I take neither stance on this battle because I think the whole thing is a fucking joke#If you dare to label me as either side you are missing the point.#This is probably going to get me hatemailed to oblivion but I do not care.#antiship#proship#proshipping#antishipping#I do not care about any of these words but people need to see this.#As I am very tired of all this nonsense.
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Its pride month frost you know what that means....!
THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTION
( [[OOC:]] spamtoon is owned by @spamtoon !! )
(edit: also I know I forgot to fix HR's text and he says 's'. I write HR's text normally and I then need to do the switch later but I'm dyslexic so I don't notice or realize so please don't think idk how to write HR text </3 already insecure as is. i can't fix it anymore though oops! be nice)
#[answered asks]#[img]#[frostbite]#[spamtoon]#[high roller]#guz art#askblog#toontown corporate clash#[[OOC:]]#apologies for the harder text readability im a bit too tired to edit that now i got stuff to do before i try to answer other asks oops#worlds most insecure hr writer ever but i need to show the fact frost and them work on the show together on this blog more#and that spam suffers for it#my excuse is that i am a firm believer that hr is calmer off stage. just equally insane however. nobody is normal in this fucking place#also this originally had a background gag but it was taking away from the main joke#also the spinny decision dart board wheel is full of either wipeout esk show ideas or jigsaw type events to put the poor audience through#(but toony) gotta be attention grabbing and that means controversially dangerous. for FUN! :D
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just carlos vying for his boyfriend’s attention.
#f1#charlos#i’m sick and tired of them (affectionate)#eternally obsessed with the way charles says CAHLOS#he really said stop honking with the fondest smile on his face#we get it you are endeared by your manchild of a boyfriend. we are too#but god carlos is it not enough that you see him everyday#do you really have to have his attention at all times#(carlos needs it. he really does)#i absolutely can’t with these two#we get it you’re married#i am at my limit i swear i am#belgian gp 23
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love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time
#abc shut it#im tired of fighting it and trying to participate in life when it feels like i dont exist#love being lonely and then being told its due to my bad mental health so i pretend it doesnt affect me and i try and be myself#and no one likes me and i dont exist unless i remind people im a person so its kinda like#at a point where its not just suicidal ideation#its just a situation of /when/ and not if haha#ive been alive for 26 years and 20 of those have been exhausting as hell im ready to be done#exhausting and lonely and isolating im sick of it#i try and i try and my life doesnt get better or anymore worth living#and when i vent abt it i get told i need to try harder and im not trying at all and i need to stop being so depressed#its hard to not be depressed when the universe gives everyone around me a better experiences than me#i feel like im screaming that im here please pay attention#and nothing#i talk and my voice gets ignored or i get talked over#i post online to try and start conversations or make friends and i just get ignored#like do i exist at all to anyone else but myself#im trying to reach out and make friends but none of the ppl i wanna make friends with seem interested in having a conversation with me#i add all these people to discord and message them all the time#but nothing gets passed me sending them messages no one ever fucking messages me first#it feels like no one thinks about me and i dont matter#literally no one gives a fuck what i have to say#or anytime i talked im corrected on SOMETHING i say or i get a belittled in response#i cant do this shit anymore i cant#no one gives a shit about what i have to say and its really coming across that no one likes me#bc if my friends cant text me first or respond to my messages at all#why am i in the wrong feeling like im alone and have no friends when im the only one reaching out ever if i wanna have a conversation#and when i do feel like im allowed to talk i just talk and talk and talk and know the people dont give a shit abt what i have to say#i jsut feel like im here to be talked at and do things for other people and nothing more#that whenever i have an emotion its wrong and i need to bottle it up#and i dont eve get a chance to learn how to manage my emotions bc it feels like im going to get scolded or belittled for feeling things
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my absolute fave thing to read in punkflower fics is lovesick puppy hobie brown
cool-as-a-cucumber hobie overthinking miles' every move, leaving lingering touches on him, longing glances thrown his way
certified BAMF hobie hanging by a doorway or window just a second too long before leaving miles
"skinny-hot" hobie refusing to believe someone as ✨️cool✨️ as miles would be into someone like him
badass punk hobie just yearning and pining and practically draping himself all over miles in desperate attempts but then pulling back all scared when anyone even hints that they should get together
god, i need pining lovesick loser hobie like AIR rn 😭
#clown horn#punkflower#spiderverse#can yall tell i am Not Normal rn#COOL HOT BADASS FUNNY HOBIE JUST!! *clenches fist* JUST!!! just fuckin swooning#like a victorian lady whenever miles does Anything#i mean do yall SEE the way he pays attention to and looks at miles in the movie?#i am unwell. i will never be able to emotionally recover from this#just... god. i love it#hobie brown spider punk just trailing after miles#joking with him and wrapping him up in all of the clothes he can manage to bring#practically screaming silently for miles' attention at every moment#showing off a lil bit when theyre swinging#dont get me wrong hobie is a very very cool guy. when miles isnt there#miles: shows up#hobie: immediately turns into the worlds biggest clumsiest clown to ever exist#miles: smiles#hobie: crashes into 2 walls a telephone pole and falls over a fence#bonus points if miles literally has zero clue the entire time#bc like obviously miles KNOWS hobie is ridiculously hot. this is canon#but SURELY someone like hobie has nooooo interest in him whatsoEVER right guys? …right? ahaha#IDIOTS the both of them#idiots in love#this is a trope i will never tire of ever#also the skinny-hot comment is a reference to the official atsv script#LOOK IT UP IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY#it is filled to brim with homosexuality and plenty of funny ass lines of miles being jealous#but miles my boy. my baby boy#look at me#you need not be jealous of hobie. YOURE the one in the middle of the love triangle NOT GWEN
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showing up to anti-zionist community rosh hashanah services tonight like "hello i am ready to weep & maybe do some arson. does anybody want to burn anything down"
#i am tired i am sad i am terrified#i am also having some big feelings about online leftist tactics of guilt/shame/condescension when speaking to their own base/potential base#i am constantly overwhelmed constantly feeling helpless i do NOT actually need to be told i am not feeling guilty enough#or i'm never doing enough. that i owe everything always including relentless emotional attention to global atrocities#because traumatizing yourself with a 24/7 feed of death & disaster is activism and/or penance for the crime of living in the imperial core#please fucking learn how to motivate & engage people via shared empowerment#get the words mutual aid out of your fucking mouth unless you are ready to actually build supportive coalitions#if all you want to do is yell & shame people into donating to something that is not mutual aid. it's charity#it positions your audience as powerful & owing money out of pity/guilt to an underclass#which is whatever. people in crisis just need money to survive. but stop pretending you're doing revolutionary politics#if you can't be assed to treat people like comrades
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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