#i am the number 1 ivory fan

[cats-thoughts]

ALRIGHT here's my best guess of what the Ivorycello teaser photos lead up to SO FAR (I will hopefully add to this as we get more photos but I wanted to start soon :3)

31

q

wywcwy

Photos that I cranked brightness and exposure on beneath the line, tell me if y'all see anything else? I am a little bit blind (+ what happened when I tried to input it as a video)

[rosesradio]

I am following you actually! You can decide if I was just busy or if I didn't want to look suspicious 😉

– Jasico smut anon 💙🖤

hm…i’m curious now, but i don’t think i could find you amongst…*checks the number* 307 followers (what the—👁️👁️)

i will ask two questions, feel free to not answer them if you don’t want to obv:

1.) have you read ceaseless eve/are you excited for ivory rain, or are you more of exclusively a jasico fan?

2.) are we mutuals? that might help the deduction, i’m not following as many people back as i probably should considering i spend enough time on the dash as it is :’)

[this-idiots-left-eye]

Pandora Hearts Month 2022 (REDO) Prompts!

Hello all!

I have recently learned that the @phmonth2022 blog is experiencing some technical difficulties—and has for longer, and a greater extent, than I realized. I don't get notifications properly, I don't get notified at all if people tag the blog, my posts don't show up in site's tags, and it seems you have to click on the blog itself to see any of its posts.

It seems as though a number of people who wanted to participate in Phmonth22 in May/June...never saw the posts about it.

This means that we will now be doing a redo of Pandora Hearts Month 2022!

It will have the same exact prompts as before, allowing people who didn't see it before—and anyone who otherwise didn’t get the chance before—to participate now! It will occur at the same time as The Case Study of Vanitas Month 2022! (Check here for those prompts!)

Because of the phmonth2022 blog's issues, I am hosting it here on my ph (and vnc) sideblog @this-idiots-left-eye. I will reblog my posts on the @phmonth2022 blog, as well as my main blog @i-prefer-the-term-antihero but I will make the initial posts here.

Pandora Hearts Month is an event that celebrates Pandora Hearts. The first three weeks celebrate the three main trios (Golden Trio, Rainsworth Trio, and Tragedy Trio) and the fourth is a bonus week that celebrates any ships/friendships/ot3 fans chose and love. You can create edits, fanart, drabbles, fanfictions, amvs and mms!

When you post, please remember to:

Tag me @i-prefer-the-term-antihero or @this-idiots-left-eye in your posts to make sure I reblog them!

Tag #phmonth22 in your tags! I will go through that tag regularly and check if I've missed any direct tags.

Either put a link, or a “read more” on long fics (or long posts in general), so they're easier to reblog!

I also made a collection on Ao3 for writers! Don't hesitate to add your fics to it!

Lastly, don’t forget to join our discord if you haven’t! It’s a fun place to discuss the series and more easily share your creations!

Without further ado, here are the prompts! 

Golden Trio Week (Alice, Oz and Gilbert), October 9th—15th:

Day 1, Sunday Oct 9th: Pink

Day 2, Monday Oct 10th: Daffodil

Day 3, Tuesday Oct 11th: Queen

Day 4, Wednesday Oct 12th: Summer 

Day 5, Thursday Oct 13th: Cage 

Day 6, Friday Oct 14th: Ocean

Day 7, Saturday Oct 15th: Garden

Rainsworth Trio Week (Sharon, Break and Reim), Oct 16nd—22nd:

Day 1, Sunday Oct 16th: Purple

Day 2, Monday Oct 17th: Forest

Day 3, Tuesday Oct 18th: Sister

Day 4, Wednesday Oct 19th: Madness

Day 5, Thursday Oct 20th: Cake

Day 6, Friday Oct 21st: AU

Day 7, Saturday Oct 22nd: Whisper

Tragedy Trio Week (Lacie, Jack and Oswald), Oct 23rd—Oct 29th:

Day 1, Sunday Oct 23rd: Storm

Day 2, Monday Oct 24th: Sibling

Day 3, Tuesday Oct 25th: Secret

Day 4, Wednesday Oct 26th: Indescribable horrors

Day 5, Thursday Oct 27th: Unimaginable Wonders

Day 6, Friday Oct 28th: Tower

Day 7, Saturday Oct 29th: Snow

Fan’s choice Week, Oct 30th—November 5th:

Day 1, Sunday Oct 30th: Psyche

Day 2, Monday Oct 31st: 🎃 Metamorphosis 👻

Day 3, Tuesday Nov 1st: Perspective and/or Ivory

Day 4, Wednesday Nov 2nd: Lilies

Day 5, Thursday Nov 3rd: Wrath

Day 6, Friday Nov 4th: Tarnished

Day 7, Saturday Nov 5th: Sketch

(Yes, I switched the order of the fan's choice week prompts around. It was because "Lilies" did not feel remotely Halloweeny to me XD)

You are free to have fun with this!! As long as you tag it, NSFW is allowed! (Tagging ships is nice too). You can pretty much do whatever you want with the prompts!!

For the trio weeks, as long as you make sure the characters from the trio are your main focus, it’s okay to use other characters in your creations too! For the fourth week, you can really write about any character you want. It doesn't have to be ships!

You can join any time, and use as many or as few prompts as you want! And you don't have to post on the day if you can’t make it! I’ll reblog things late!

Since we live across the world, you are free to post whenever the day is for you. I myself will be making posts according to my time, which is Central Standard Time in America. 

About the prizes:

Some of you may recall me posting about wanting to add a competition aspect to Phmonth, with the 15th anniversary merch as prizes. I ordered the prizes long ago, however they still have not arrived at my house.

You guys voted to have a raffle decide who gets the prizes, so it will be easy to do the raffle at any time after Phmonth has ended.

Keep in mind that, as per your request, I do intend for there to be multiple prizes, at least one for the artists, and one for the fic writers!

I will revisit the prizes once phmonth22 ends!

Feel free to get started on making stuff early! 

We’re so excited to see what you make! Thank you for all your support!

i-prefer-the-term-antihero

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto (Voyage - Bit 1)

Prologue Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 Voyage - Bit 1

Here is the beginning of Chapter Two :D I have completed this chapter so I’m a few thousand words ahead of this posting - this fic is now 12,000 words long :D

As always, many thanks to @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ and @janetm74​ for all the read throughs, help and amazing support (heh, this part was written twice and nearly a third time just trying to get it right - I don’t do that very often at all - but it needed it. Thank you to these three for keeping me on the straight and narrow)

A special thanks also goes to my wonderful physicist, @onereyofstarlight​ who has spent quite some time on this with me also - she’s my John! Literally. We defined the function of the T-drive, discovered what the ‘T’ stands for, and then helped John invent a communications relay network. Yay for a geeking out in the pursuit of logical fiction :D

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this bit. There is plenty more to come :D

-o-o-o-

“Airframe?”

Virgil nudged his board. “Three and Five secure. We are go.”

His eldest brother looked away, back towards Alan, and by extension, their father on the astronaut’s far side.

Dad did not look back.

Next to Virgil, Gordon shifted in his seat.

Internally, Virgil sighed. The tension in the cockpit was so thick, every hair on his body was standing at attention.

Even Uncle Lee was silent, sitting behind their father. Virgil was pretty sure that was a first.

How the astronaut had found out about the situation, Virgil didn’t know. He could ask John, but to be honest, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Virgil had been in the process of loading up Three when the call had come in. Scott had been called ‘Simon’ three times, the good old ‘Vinnie’ popped up at least once, but Alan had received an ‘Allie’ and that had been promising at first…until it proved short for Albert.

Alan had just shrugged and, with a tight-lipped nod from their father, had advised that they would be picking up their Uncle from Cape Canaveral within the half hour.

Scott hadn’t said a thing.

Virgil added extra supplies for the extra body and hadn’t commented either.

He did, however, notice Dad’s shoulders relaxing just a little. Virgil wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Propulsion?” Scott’s voice was all mechanical command. No inflection or emotion.

Michael, dressed in a black work suit, didn’t react. “All systems green. T-Drive ready.”

The situation with the former Mechanic was a grey area worth every grey hair it created. Scott did not like the man. Hell, Virgil was wary as all hell. He couldn’t help but remember the smoke, the red lights and the thought that perhaps he was giving his life in an attempt to save his Thunderbird as she fell from the sky.

But Brains trusted him. Swore he was genuine, that he had been under the influence of the Hood the entire time.

But Virgil still had nightmares about watching his brother’s ‘bird being torn in two.

There were many questions.

And so much pain.

But at the core of it, they needed the man’s genius. An arrangement was made with the GDF and ‘Michael’, as he had chosen to be known as, now worked under supervision with International Rescue. Almost bonded in servitude to atone for everything he had done. And apparently, he went willingly.

Kayo had so many monitoring devices on the man, he couldn’t pee by himself.

“Helm?” Blue pierced the air and targeted the youngest Tracy.

Alan didn’t flinch, but he did sit straighter.

“Navigation feed locked in. First drop point noted and programmed. Engines prepped and ready. We are go for orbital exit.”

Virgil steeled himself. He hated this part. It turned his head and his insides out. The first time they had engaged the T-drive engines it was a miracle he hadn’t puked all over himself. The second time, at least he had warning, but it hadn’t been much better.

Hopefully these jumps, no more than a second or two in each instance, would be easier. It was an attempt at more precise navigation. Callisto was comparatively closer than the Oort cloud - an odd combination of too far by ion engine and too short by lightspeed engine. So, for efficiency, they were compromising and using a combination. Lightspeed hop, followed by a trajectory change via ion thruster, followed by another hop, the sequence repeating several times. Each time they paused they were to drop a communications buoy, firming up the network with Earth and giving them almost real-time capability.

This was all John and complex, but they would get the Excel to Callisto in less than a day.

Scott’s voice was as strong and as firm as it had been the last time they had made a light speed jump.

“On my mark...”

“5...”

“4...” The countdown was a reassuring familiarity.

“3...”

“2...” Virgil braced himself.

“1...” Alan’s grip tightened.

“Mark!”

Alan moved.

The ship trembled and the world swam.

A blink and everything steadied again.

Alan’s voice was sharp. “First jump complete.” He rattled off numbers as Virgil tried to keep his insides on the inside.

“I am so not a fan of that.” Gordon beside him was clutching at his stomach.

Virgil only grunted.

“Everyone okay?” Scott sounded far too chipper.

But there were a series of FABs bouncing around the cockpit. Virgil resorted to grunting again.

That earned him an extra long glare from his brother, but Virgil waved it away. Besides, John wasn’t communicating any better, his space brother still had his face in his hands.

“That was one hell of a stomach churner. Put my insides in through a washing cycle there, Albert.”

The image Virgil managed off that statement had his insides flipping again.

Uncle Lee was also far too cheerful.

“How many more times do we have to do that?” Gordon was whining.

“Four.” Alan was as chipper as Scott. Probably a good thing since he was the pilot and all.

“Ugh, I should have brought a bucket.”

It was a redundant statement as a bucket required gravity to work. The medic in him flared. “If the nausea becomes an issue, you know what to do.”

That earned him another grunt.

“Keep it together, guys. Alan, ion burn for direction change and buoy drop.” Scott was ever the Commander.

“Already on it! Next jump in thirty-five minutes.”

Far too chipper.

But they were in normal space and that gave them the freedom to move about. Virgil planned to take full advantage.

“Virgil? A word?” It was a question, but his father’s tone obviously expected a positive response.

He sighed to himself, so much for the planned snack. “Yeah, Dad.” He didn’t miss Scott’s reflex glance in both of their directions.

Their father unbuckled and floated toward the back of the cockpit. Virgil had had quite a say in the redesign and the seven stripes of colour down the length of the cabin broke up the ivory he had demanded be plastered on the walls to brighten up the place.

Seven strips of colour, one for each brother, sister and now their father.

The suit his Dad wore today barely resembled the one he had been stranded in. The most dramatic difference was his baldric. Once the silver-grey of command, he had relinquished that to Scott.

Or so they had thought.

Virgil swallowed as he clambered out of his seat, exercising his space legs a little as he re-familiarised himself with the environment.

Dad’s baldric was now a pale gold and consequently, there was a pale gold stripe to match running the length of the cockpit...right next to the silver-grey of Scott’s baldric.

Virgil dropped a hand to Gordon’s shoulder as the fish muttered about his stomach again.

“Hey, we have anti-nausea if you need it.”

Gordon grunted.

“Virgil?” Dad was holding the door to the residential section of the ship.

“Coming.” It was a mutter under his breath that had Gordon glancing up at him, frowning.

A gentle squeeze of his little brother’s shoulder and Virgil pushed off after his father.

Dad led him down the main hallway to...the infirmary? “Dad, what?”

“I need to check you over.”

“Scott already did.”

“I know. Just humour me, please.”

Virgil blinked and pressed his lips together before following his father through the door to the tiny medbay. Scott was definitely a Dad clone in many ways.

The difference was that Scott had checked on him before they left and would have grounded his ass if he found anything wrong. Whereas Dad had waited until now?

The mandatory scanner appeared in his father’s hand and yellow light flickered over Virgil’s arm and torso. A moment as grey eyes examined the readouts.

“I had to make sure.” His father swallowed. “And I wanted to apologise.”

Virgil blinked again. “Uh, sorry?”

Dad put the scanner away and leant back against the bed in the middle of the tiny room. “I want you to understand why I need to do this.”

Virgil’s lips tightened, but he held back his response. He wasn’t really the one who needed the apology.

His father held up his hands as if to fend off what Virgil was thinking. “I know it is a risk, but it is one I’m willing to take.”

“This is not just about you, Dad.”

“I know. Please hear me out.”

Virgil swallowed down his instinctive defensiveness and waited.

“I have spent the last two years watching all of you risk your lives every day. Unable to help.”

“You help, Dad.”

His father held up a hand. “Not enough.”

“You’ve done enough. You made the ultimate sacrifice.”

“This is not the end of my life, Virgil!” It was both a yell and a plea.

Frozen mid-thought, Virgil just stared.

Dad turned away, pulling against the bed to shift himself. “I’m not finished. I owe Berry and Ju and this is my chance to pay.”

“To pay for what? What could be worth your life, Dad? What could be worth putting Scott through all this?”

“Scott? Why is everyone so defensive of Scott. This has nothing to do with him.”

“It has everything to do with him!” It was Virgil’s turn to get loud. For a moment, he forgot he was in space and his frustrated movement set him on a gentle spin. He had to grab a cabinet to right himself. “It has everything to do with all of us.”

His father’s hands were placating as he held them out. “I know you boys sacrificed a lot and I will be forever grateful-“

“You don’t know, Dad.”

“What?”

“Because we haven’t told you how close everything came to collapse. How close we were to losing Scott.”

Dad’s eyes widened. “Virgil-“

“No, you don’t get to gamble on this! I can’t watch it happen all over again. It will kill him.” He wasn’t too sure he had the strength himself either. “You were home. You were safe. You could be Dad again. Why on Earth would you ever want to be anything else after all those years? All those times you chose space, or the business or International Rescue over us. You’re doing it again. Why can’t family be the most important on your list of things, Dad? Just for once?”

It was more than he had intended to say. It bared him to his father’s scrutiny, to the sensitive parts of himself that Dad had never quite understood. His throat grew tight and he struggled to hold it together.

Dad reached out a hand and gently gripped Virgil’s shoulder. “I am who I am, Virgil. I can’t change that.”

There was a knock at the door. “Virgil, are you okay in there?”

Scott.

Virgil closed his eyes.

“He’s fine, Scott.” Dad’s voice was firm.

The door opened. Blue ice combed the room. “Virgil, Michael needs you to check the aft sensor array. He’s getting an anomalous reading.”

Virgil frowned. “Does he think there’s a fault?”

“That’s why he needs you to check it out.” Sharp and defying objection.

And obviously a route to removing Virgil from the room.

Shit.

He glared at Scott, but Scott’s expression was more tired than inflammatory. “Have you eaten?”

“Virgil…”

“I’m going, if you’re going.” Brother-speak for ‘I’m only doing as you say if you do as I say and there is no way I’m leaving you alone with Dad right now’.

Blue flickered as the message was received. “Fine. Check in with Michael and I will see you in the mess hall asap.” Scott pushed off from the door frame and disappeared down the corridor without another word.

And no acknowledgement that their father even existed.

God, this was hard.

“Sorry, Dad, I have to go.” Okay, there was some relief in that, even if he was ashamed to admit it.

The man grunted and squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “We all have our duty.”

Virgil pushed off the bed towards the door, turning for a just a moment to look back at his father. But Dad was staring at nothing, simply floating beside the bed apparently lost in thought.

Virgil’s throat tightened and he opened his mouth.

But nothing came out.

Now more sad than angry, Virgil pushed through the door and left.

After all, he had his duty.

-o-o-o-

Next

[astralaffairs]

freedom of the press 06 | t. jefferson

title: freedom of the press 06

pairing: thomas jefferson x reader

words: 15k

warnings: implied sex, suggestive jokes & teasing, thomas has astoundingly shitty timing, lafayette is a huge fucking cockblock, hella fanservice, v v v tender quality time, and then some more implied sex

desc: the 2020 republican presidential frontrunner is an obnoxious, morally bankrupt people-pleaser, but what happens when you become the person he’s most eager to please?

tags: @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @distinguishedpotsticker @fukaaaaaaaa @hereforthepsyche-assessment @ivetoldamillionlies @fangirl570 @thealaddinkid @lasciviouspeach @snazzydoesthings @shy-and-awkward-daveed @rachelhermionerose @soft-weeb-s @gryffinclxw @anamrnk @daveeddiggsit @ayayayayana @marinovakovich @cryinghazelnutt @thefandomgirl03 @a-hopeless-fan @cloudywlw @tinywhim @lolidunnoaboutnow  @siriusorionblackiii @fanfic-addict-98— hope i didnt miss anyone; lmk if you want to be added!!

By the time Y/N woke up, the sun was hardly up, the streets were plowed, and the bed was warm. She didn't try to leave it, instead curling further into Thomas's warm embrace when he pulled her close. Huddled alongside him, his skin against hers, she didn't bother to fight the fatigue that still ebbed at her mind, instead letting herself drift peacefully in and out of consciousness. She could feel Thomas's quiet laugh rumble in his chest when she made no move to get up. She didn't process it enough to react when his lips brushed against the crown of her head.

By the next time she woke up, the sun was high in the sky over Washington D.C., the streets were still plowed, but the bed was cold.

She frowned as she pushed herself to sit up, leaning back on a hand as she rubbed her bleary eyes. He'd left without saying a word.

She knew as she peeled the covers off herself, still damp in places with sweat from the previous night, that she shouldn't have expected him to stay.

Why would he have? He was a busy person; it was already... Shit, how had it already reached 2 PM?

She slouched into the bathroom, feeling like a wreck as she wiped the smeared mascara from her face, tied up her wreckage of sleep hair. She couldn't bring herself to take off his undershirt she'd donned the previous night, too cold to sleep in nothing but too exhausted to find some real clothing. (He'd laughed at her for it, but all the same, he didn't give much resistance before offering up his shirt.)

Regardless, they'd done nothing more than sleep together. He had no commitment to hang around any longer. If she were him, she probably wouldn't have stayed either. Still, it would've been nice for him to have said goodbye.

She tried to blink the sleep from her vision as she padded to her kitchen on bare feet; she would force herself to eat something before getting dressed and having to go down to another shift at the diner that evening.

Dry cereal might not have been the pinnacle of health for her just then, but it was easy, and she was in no mood to fight her cravings. When she pulled down a bowl, though, a flash of purple in the corner of her vision gave her pause.

She closed the cabinet absentmindedly as she turned, eyeing the post-it note dubiously from a distance, glancing around her apartment to confirm she was alone. (There hadn't been much question about the matter, but she couldn't be too careful.)

It was a moment later still when she approached it, stifling a yawn, and plucked it from where it'd been stuck onto the countertop.

Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep, And yet a third of life is passed in sleep.

Y/N raised an exasperated eyebrow at the scrawled note despite the smile she fought back. The handwriting wasn't hard to recognize; not after she'd run her fingers over matching pen marks through a few hundred pages of Byron poetry -- not to mention the fact that there had only been two people in her apartment all night, and she certainly didn't remember writing that.

She shook her head lightly as she went to recycle it, but that time, it was the writing on the back of the paper that made her freeze.

For the next time you need some ancient literature, or for the next time you lock me out in the cold.

(202) 863-4828

Perhaps it wasn't such a gloomy afternoon after all.

------

Unknown Number: [Attachment: 1 image]

Unknown Number: nerd

Thomas grinned down at his phone where it was tucked halfway into his pocket. He'd been in meetings since noon, but after the night he'd had, he was struggling to focus on fundraising numbers and campaign strategy, most of it going in one ear and out the other as he waited restlessly for his phone to buzz. He'd begun to think by then that she wasn't going to reach out.

thomas 🙄: kinda harsh to say that abt someone who's been dead for 200 years

Y/N 🍑👀: ah yes because i was definitely referring to byron

Y/N 🍑👀: not the person who carries around purple sticky notes just to paste byron quotes in people's kitchens

thomas 🙄: you insulting my stationery?

Y/N 🍑👀: just your taste in literary quotes

thomas 🙄: don't be mad just cause i'm right

thomas 🙄: it didn't even wake you up when i left in the morning

thomas 🙄: at that rate you were gonna spend a lot more than a third of your life asleep

Y/N 🍑👀: wouldn't have still been asleep if you hadn't had me up past 4 am

thomas 🙄: is that really a complaint, now?

Y/N 🍑👀: uh??? yes, it is????? i have to deep clean my sheets and my mattress now smh

thomas 🙄: as though it wasn't worth it ;)

Y/N 🍑👀: wasn't worth the cost of the five gallons of bleach i'm gonna need to get the smell out

thomas 🙄: don't even pretend

thomas 🙄: you didn't seem to have any problem last night when i started ruining your sheets

thomas 🙄: you really gonna act like you don't want me to ruin them again?

Y/N could almost hear his voice in the messages, could picture his self-satisfied smile, and she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she read and re-read the text.

Y/N 🍑👀: you're paying my laundry bill

thomas 🙄: worth it to me

Y/N 🍑👀: or maybe we'll just have to ruin your sheets next time

Thomas inhaled sharply; his eyebrows shot up. Next time. He wouldn't have thought that just two words could turn him on quite that much.

"Thomas?" His head snapped up, his eyes wide; he'd somehow managed to forget entirely where he was in the few minutes since Y/N had texted him. Thankfully, it was only James who seemed to have noticed.

"Hmm?" He blinked, staring up at James's expectant stare. His gaze flickered across the conference room, and while James was clearly on the border of annoyance, everyone else looked to him curiously. "'M sorry, James, I spaced out for a second thinking about... your proposal for the fundraiser?"

That was the last thing he remembered hearing, and James didn't look impressed. "Right," he said dryly. "Anyway, I was asking how you felt about doing another town hall in D.C."

"Yeah, alright." He nodded, hardly processing the words, and James cocked a brow.

"Really?" He folded his arms. "I'm surprised you're giving in that easily. Last I remembered, you wanted to move your next few town halls up further north."

Thomas shrugged. His palms were sweating as all eyes turned to him for an answer after he'd spent the past ten minutes thinking about something very different from his supporters. "You make a good case for it."

(The fact that he hadn't caught a minute of the advocacy was irrelevant.)

James hadn't bought a word of it, and Thomas could tell from a single glance at him. He made a mental note not to pick someone who could see right through him as a running mate next time.

However, he fabricated a smile, much to Thomas's relief, having no desire to confront him right there or then. "I'm glad. I had a couple venues scouted out, but I'm open to any more suggestions."

"I think we need a new type of place. The same locations again and again get monotonous." Thomas struggled to resist rolling his eyes; he had to remind himself he'd only hired Charles Lee because he was donating more than twice his salary to the campaign.

"So what do you suggest?" He met his eyes skeptically from the other end of the table.

"What about a café?"

"A café?" Another of his campaign staffers who he couldn't identify by name spoke up -- Noah? Nate? Nathaniel? Thomas couldn't help but agree with his incredulity.

"It would be good for you to actually get to know your voters instead of... preaching to them from on high." As Lee continued, his voice close to a sneer, Thomas had to force himself to control his expression. "It would be much more personal for you to finally sit down and meet them."

"I'm runnin' a campaign, not speed-datin' the voters." Out of the corner of his eye, Thomas saw James purse his lips to repress a laugh.

"It's actually an excellent idea." Really, now? He glanced disbelievingly at the woman to his left. "The most common criticism you receive is about thinking yourself above your voting base. It'd be a good chance to lose some of your aristocratic reputation."

Hurtful, but not inaccurate. Thomas nodded, though he knew the skepticism was still clear in his gaze.

"If we do go through with this, where in the city do you propose we hold it?" James didn't seem to appreciate his fundraising proposal being derailed into a meet-and-greet, and by Charles Lee of all people. Thomas was right there with him, his annoyance only compounding when Lee shrugged unhelpfully.

"It's the Jefferson campaign, not the Lee campaign." Charles did make a good point with that. Thomas only wished he'd have thought of it before he decided to wedge his opinion into James's plan like a Republican jigsaw puzzle.

The question gave him pause, however. Were he to be perfectly honest, he didn't know more than five restaurants in the city by name, four of which wouldn't exactly earn him any points as a 'man of the people.' The last, however...

It was probably a poor idea; he'd known that even before he considered it. But it did seem to fit what they were looking for. It was in a low-income neighborhood, run by a family of immigrants. It had a bright atmosphere and an abundance of seating. However, the most tempting part to him wasn't how it'd look to the voters, but being able to see one person's expression when she learned he'd rented the place out for an entire evening.

It might've been a poor idea, but he had to put his campaign first, and the benefits were more than defensible.

He grinned. "Think I got a place in mind."

------

Y/N spent the next few days overthinking the fact that Thomas had left her last text on read. God, why'd she have to go and put the idea of a 'next time' out there? She was sure he didn't want commitment any more than she did, so she must have scared him off.

She hated how tumultuous the past Friday night had left her emotions.

Thankfully, when she arrived at work the following Monday, it didn't take too long for the distractions to come pouring in.

"Y/N!" Her head snapped upwards, her eyes wide as she saw Ashley marching into her office. She wore a smile, but her eyes were narrowed, and Y/N couldn't help the sense of dread building in her stomach.

"Ashley." Her response was wary.

"So your article got a decent bit of attention last Thursday." The words were nice enough, but they were altogether devoid of energy.

"... Thanks?"

"No, that's definitely a good thing; take the compliment." As Ashley circled around to take a seat on the edge of Y/N's desk, however, she tensed in her office chair, trying not to noticeably grip the armrests. "But a lot of it was controversial attention."

"How?" she asked, taken aback. Her brow was furrowed; it was likely the most unbiased article she'd written about the election.

"A lot of our readers seem to think you're siding with the Jefferson campaign toward the end of it." So this was why Ashley had entered looking so skeptical, and Y/N was sure her disbelief was written plainly across her face.

"Seriously? Because I mentioned that they're turning away funding from super PACs, you mean?" Ashley nodded, and Y/N let out a huff of incredulous laughter.

"You don't need to hold back on your critiques, alright? You can go after whatever information you uncover." She either didn't notice the annoyance growing in Y/N's eyes, or she didn't seem to care. "Don't be afraid to use what you uncover."

"And if what I uncover is entirely unrelated to the election?"

"Nothing is unrelated to the election, Y/N. That's exactly what you don't get." Something akin to excitement flashed in Ashley's gaze as she leaned forward toward Y/N, but the hint of vindictiveness gave her pause. "For you, the people are readers, not voters. You're not the one in an election."

Though she shifted further away in her rolling chair, Y/N said, "I'll keep it in mind, but for the time being, it's all been pretty mundane. Haven't found any skeletons in his closet."

"Then make some."

A beat passed; Y/N could only stare up at her boss in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

She rolled her eyes when Y/N didn't seem to be on the same page, which only elicited more worry. "You, as a writer, have grown to national visibility. You have the power to sensationalize things if you want to keep people hanging onto your every word."

"I'll keep it in mind, thanks." Ashley narrowed her eyes further at the bite behind Y/N's words.

"I'm serious. If you want to go further as a reporter, you can't just state facts. You need a narrative. There's a reason no one watches C-SPAN."

"Pretty sure I can spin a narrative on the election without stooping to the level of a gossip column." With Y/N's hard stare, Ashley seemed to realize she wasn't getting any further with the conversation, and after eyeing Y/N for another moment, she sighed heavily.

"You'd better show me a good narrative." Y/N had begun to tune her out as she pushed herself off of her desk, instead turning back to the article she'd been drafting. "I trust your judgment as a writer, so I'll let you take this however you want it. But people want to know who they're reading about."

"I have a feeling everyone knows who Thomas Jefferson is by now," Y/N responded dryly.

"I mean know him, know him." That elicited a raised eyebrow. "He's a person, not just a candidate. That's what America wants to see."

Y/N couldn't help the strange sense of pride that curled in her chest, tried instead to suppress it alongside the inexplicably conceited mantra Ashley's words elicited: she knew Thomas Jefferson in a way America never would.

When Ashley raised her eyebrows, Y/N realized she'd let the silence stretch on a moment too long. She swallowed her thoughts. "So you want me to air his dirty laundry?"

Y/N's eyes widened at the grin that broke through Ashley's unimpressed demeanor.

"Finally, she gets it." With that, Ashley turned to go, ignoring how dumbfounded she'd left Y/N. She glanced back with a well-pleased smile.

"If you need dirt, never be afraid to dig up whatever it is he's left buried."

-----

Unfortunately for Y/N, the distraction that was her boss's scarily cutthroat mentality only weaved itself into her racing thoughts about her most recent encounter with everyone's favorite Republican frontrunner. The next few evenings at the diner were slow, which she couldn't necessarily complain about -- being rushed and nagged by half of downtown D.C. over the course of a week wasn't quite her paradise. However, it only gave her time to spiral under the weight of everything she'd learned.

To her conflicted relief, coming in earlier in the afternoon on Wednesday provided a welcome diversion. It would've been her afternoon to herself after leaving her office at the Post, but when one of their baristas called in sick, the money for an extra two hours was too tempting for Y/N to turn down.

Despite her early shift, it wasn't until around 7:30 that her evening hit a bump in the road.

"Prosciutto roll for Belle?" she called out as she reached the end of the counter, putting the tray with the finished order and the receipt on the end of the counter. She pulled a paper cup out of the stack by the divider for the drink that was ordered. She was about to dash back to the kitchen after checking over the food, when--

"Excuse me."

She was sick of overly-familiar voices interrupting her workday. She froze on the balls of her feet where she'd begun to retreat, before turning with forced positivity permeating her demeanor. Couldn't her two jobs stay separate, at least most of the time?

"James! Hey. Congrats on the Super Tuesday win." His surprised smile put her at ease as she reached where he stood.

"Oh... Y/N. Thank you," he said, tone hesitant, his eyebrows shooting toward his hairline. "I didn't know you worked here." She only shrugged.

"I just started two weeks ago. Not surprised you haven't noticed me around."

"No, I don't mean..." She raised an eyebrow when he trailed off, before he chucked to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. "This is my first time coming here. You being an employee just... explains a few things, is all."

"Glad to provide some clarity... ?" With any context, his insinuation would've been painfully obvious; however, completely ignorant of the previous Saturday's meeting, Y/N was absolutely oblivious. She pursed her lips.

"You have my gratitude for it." James's knowing smile explained nothing for her, however.

"Right." She glanced at the growing line over at the cash register, anxious to keep the flow of customers going smoothly as the place filled up. "Anyway, what can I do for you? If you're here for dinner, line starts that way."

She nodded to the other end of the counter, but he shook his head.

"I'm not looking for food, actually."

Y/N cocked an eyebrow. "I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but I'm starting to think you're in the wrong place."

"No, no..." He plucked a takeout menu from the stand toward the end of the counter and nodded, eyeing the diner's logo. "I'm where I'm supposed to be."

"You're sure?" Her skepticism was still blatant.

"I'm sure." He glanced up from the menu with a smile. "May I speak to your manager, just briefly?"

That was when she paled. Eyeing his nonchalant expression, she prayed none of her assumptions about his motives could possibly be true, especially as they grew stranger and stranger. Her new spiraling was beginning to tie back to her previous spiraling -- could James have found out about the past Friday? Would Thomas have possibly told him? Why would that mean he showed up at her family's diner to talk to her manager about it? Could he have been trying to--

"Why do you look so nervous?" Her alarm only seemed to amuse James, and she huffed, leaning against the counter.

"James. You're a politician who showed up at my place of work, rejected food, and requested to speak to my manager." She looked up at him with a flat gaze, and he only chuckled, shrugging in acquiescence. "There isn't some new health code no one told us about, is there?"

"Not this time. Check back in a week, though." She rolled her eyes. "In all seriousness, may I speak to whoever's in charge? I assure you I'm not here to shut down your café."

Y/N allowed herself a small smile. "How generous of you. Give me a second."

He nodded as she turned away, laughing when she took only three steps before aggressively yelling "Orlando!" in the direction of the kitchen.

The man in question emerged with his brow furrowed, wiping his hands on a dishtowel with his brows furrowed. "What's wrong, mija?"

"Nothing yet." She glanced between him and James, her stare inquisitive. "Someone wants to speak to you about the diner real quick."

"You get us into trouble again?" Orlando raised a playful eyebrow, and Y/N couldn't help her wry smile as she rolled her eyes, batting at his arm.

"No, Orlando," she huffed.

Her contrived annoyance hardly buried her amusement before James decided to pipe up. "'Again'?"

She turned to James with a playful glare, and he grinned. "You stay outta this." She pointed a reprimanding finger at him, but he didn't appear at all fazed. "Gonna get me fired before you have a chance to shut us down, at this rate."

"You got us shut down?" Orlando gasped, but when Y/N saw the mirth behind his playful shock, she groaned.

"No, Orlando." James's and Orlando's grins mirrored one another as she looked between them, exhaustion settling into her tone. "I need you two to take each other off my hands, now. I have drinks to make."

"Of course, Y/N." James wasn't too hurt by the final glare she sent him before turning away.

As she fell back into her rhythm fulfilling orders, Y/N couldn't help but keep an eye on the two men, especially not when Orlando emerged from behind the counter to talk to James, trying to stay out of her way but also moving just out of her earshot. She knew the glances she kept sneaking toward them weren't as subtle as they should've been; she knew Orlando could see her watching them. As James continued on, Orlando's entire demeanor went from skeptical to welcoming, his body language opening up in turn. (Y/N tried briefly to read their lips, but something gave her the feeling that 'sent out the minors' wasn't quite true to their conversation.)

She had to force herself to turn her focus back to the customers as the unfinished drink orders began to pile up, her eyes widening when she caught sight of the mounting line of cups to her right with names and orders, but with a distinct lack of coffee. A few more minutes passed as she struggled to keep up, finally holding pace with the ever-growing demand when Orlando shook James's hand, passed off a business card before the two parted ways.

At the risk of making just a few customers lose their heads, Y/N followed Orlando into the kitchen, her curiosity overriding her work ethic.

"Hey, what was that about?" She caught him just as he was tying his apron back on. How pleased he looked had her skeptical.

"Oh, nothing very big. Don't worry." He withdrew his plastic gloves from the front pocket, pulling them on with a shrug. "He asked me about renting out the diner for a night for an event with Thomas Jefferson's campaign."

That stopped Y/N cold. "He did?"

"Mhm." He nodded, and he didn't seem to notice how stunned Y/N had suddenly begun to look. "I told him yes. I didn't think Mira would be thrilled if I turned it down. He offered us a lot of money for it."

"Oh, did he now?" She let out a shaky exhale, glancing back at the front of the diner to see James just exiting through the glass doors. "And did he say why he wanted to do it here, of all places?"

Orlando shrugged. "I didn't ask."

Why wouldn't that be your first question? Despite her moderate angst, Y/N tried not to let her frustration show. "Is Mira around? I need to talk to her."

"Aren't you in the middle of a shift?" He gave her a pointed look, and it elicited a dramatic, drawn-out groan from Y/N.

"Orlando," she whined, folding her arms. He gave her a mocking pout.

"Y/N." She rolled her eyes. "You're losing us valuable customers and valuable time as the line gets longer. Go back to making drinks."

Despite her scowl, she nodded. "After I close tonight, you're gonna get a piece of my mind."

------

As it turned out, it wasn't Orlando who was given a piece of her mind that evening.

2 New Messages, 10:38 PM

Thomas raised an eyebrow as his phone vibrated. He sat at his own dining room table, the sound coming from just inches to the left of where he was working on his laptop. Who would be contacting him that late?

Y/N 🍑👀: tell me it wasn't you who came up with the idea of renting out mira and orlando's diner on the only night when i work all evening

Y/N 🍑👀: please for your sake blame james

He grinned. The draft reports of the campaign's funding allocation he'd been typing up could wait just a few minutes.

thomas 🙄: i feel like you're just tryna get me to lie so you can slander me in the papers for it

Y/N 🍑👀: thomas i stg

Y/N 🍑👀: are you just planning your campaign around what's gonna annoy me most????

thomas 🙄: that's a heavy accusation, i would never

thomas 🙄: just wanna make sure you don't get too lonely without me

Y/N's scowl held no real anger as she read the texts.

Y/N 🍑👀: oh of course

Y/N 🍑👀: if this is your way of trying to get laid again, it's a flawed strategy

thomas 🙄: what happened to ruining my sheets "next time"? :)

Y/N 🍑👀: you still owe me for all the bleach i had to buy

thomas 🙄: don't avoid the question

Y/N 🍑👀: don't avoid the cleaning bill

thomas 🙄: if you're still tryna ruin MY sheets next time, it won't be your problem

Y/N 🍑👀 is typing...

Thomas rolled his eyes when the typing bubble disappeared and he didn't receive another text. Y/N, on the other hand, was biting her lip, her fingers hesitant on her keyboard as she read his text to herself. Her heart rate was picking up as flashes of the past Friday played in her mind.

thomas 🙄: did you really just stop typing on me??

Y/N 🍑👀: can we return to my actual question???? why the fuck did you decide to rent out the diner for your campaign?????

thomas 🙄: wasn't my idea to hold a meet and greet at a restaurant

Y/N 🍑👀: there are literally hundreds of restaurants in dc tho

thomas 🙄: and??

Y/N 🍑👀: and you just happened to rent out the diner i work at during the entirety of my shift???

thomas 🙄: pretty sure i mentioned a while back that i was gonna learn your schedule

Y/N 🍑👀: i'm not sure how good it's gonna look for your campaign when i file a restraining order against you

thomas 🙄: you mean you don't miss me? :(

Y/N 🍑👀: oh c'mon you're just asking for it now

Y/N 🍑👀: you almost make it too easy to mock you

thomas 🙄: i'm so hurt

Y/N 🍑👀: already?? i haven't even started mocking you yet

thomas 🙄: we'll see who's mocking who when you're stuck with my campaign for five hours this friday

Y/N 🍑👀: five hours??????

thomas 🙄: don't get too excited now

Y/N 🍑👀: fuck you

thomas 🙄: only after you get around to changing your sheets

✔ Read, 11:03 PM

------

Try as she might, Y/N failed to find a way out of her evening shift the following Saturday. She pleaded with her co-workers (no one else was available); she faked sick (Jac marched up to her apartment just to call her out); she was about ready to find a fake ID and leave the country when a better idea occurred to her.

Mailto: john.adams@exec.gov

Hi Mr. Adams--

(No, too informal.)

Vice President Adams:

(.... Passable.)

I hope this email finds you well. This is Y/N L/N of the Washington Post, to whom you gave your email address a number of weeks ago at President Washington's gala.

(She prayed she was using 'whom' correctly.)

As you know, I've been assigned to cover the Jefferson campaign up until this November's election, and I'm reaching out for any timely information you would be willing to share on the current relationship between Secretary Jefferson and yourself, as the projected Democratic nominee. I was hoping to find out--

(What was she hoping to find out? Her mind was still attached to Ashley's most recent ominous wisdom -- don't be afraid to dig up what he's left buried. But how could she ask the vice president for dirt without erring on the wrong side of collusion?

Backspace just a little.)

I was hoping to give my readers a somewhat more personal perspective on Jefferson's time holding office as Secretary of State. Is there any chance you'd be available for an interview? Please let me know; I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

(Was regards too stiff? Backspace.)

Best regards,

Y/N L/N

She'd been hesitant to actually use the email address he'd given her; she bit her lip as she pressed send. She might not have been able to find a way out of five hours of the diner being full of nothing but Jefferson supporters, but if Ashley was looking for dirt, eavesdropping and an opposing perspective could go far for her. Despite her writing prospects, she spent the entirety of her Saturday dreading its end.

James was the first to show up. The diner was cleared of its usual patrons, but that night, it'd be operating at capacity.

"So should I assume your presence means this whole 'meet-and-greet' wasn't an elaborate hoax just to deepen my frown lines?" Y/N was looking up at him with somber resignation as he entered the diner wearing a wide smile.

"Your input and documentation are valuable to this campaign, Y/N. We would never target you like that." She rolled her eyes as she pushed herself off the counter, despite how amused James appeared. "In other words, you have a long evening ahead of you."

"Y'know, I'm firmly convinced you're just trying to make my life Hell until I stop covering the election," she accused him, and he laughed.

"Have a little faith. I wasn't even made aware that you work here."

"Yeah, you weren't."

"What are you implying, exactly?"

"Take a shot in the dark." She glared at him, but it had no real anger in it. "Now, I'm not sure why Thomas is so fixated on antagonizing me, but you'd better tell him--"

"James, hey, you ready to get set up?" It was at that moment the front door of the diner flew open, and it was only a moment of silence that passed before Thomas looked up from whatever he was so absorbed in on his phone, and when he caught sight of Y/N's exasperated expression, a grin split his face. "Y/N? You workin' here, now?"

"Don't even start."

"Aw, c'mon, what d'you possibly mean by that?" His hands were stuffed in his pockets; he wore a shit-eating grin, and Y/N just scowled.

"I have too many hours left in my shift to deal with you two this early." She pointed an accusing finger between the two of them as she threw down her dishrag. "I'm getting Mira and Orlando."

"Some hospitality," Thomas pouted as Y/N began to turn, pausing to give him the stink eye, and he failed to mask his entertainment under his feigned offense.

From there, the evening went about as well as she could've hoped. Mira, as expected, was beyond overjoyed to see Thomas, didn't waste even a moment in helping him set up, and when the floodgates opened at 4:30 PM sharp, Y/N's feet were sore even thinking about scurrying back and forth for five hours on the tile floor she'd already spent her morning polishing. (So much for that polish, anyway. It was less than five minutes before layer after layer of bootprints wracked the shining ceramic with an avante-garde collage of brackish slush and sidewalk gunk.)

Demands were ringing in her ears. She struggled to distinguish between her rather lifelike migraine and the surrounding frenzy of voters and journalists alike -- the voices all sounded the same. A disembodied shout requested an extra tub of honey butter, and she tossed one onto the end of the counter without thinking twice. Two dozen hamburgers over the next thirty minutes seemed a small price to pay to no longer be working the cash register.

She'd begun to count how many viruses could fit on the surface of each dollar she collected in tips with a strained smile, retreating back to the kitchen to wash her hands every time she stuck one into the pocket of her apron. Considering the crowd, she considered herself lucky she was making tips at all.

The money was an undeniable result of the wandering eyes of a number of middle-aged men in the crowd, being to various degrees of seedy -- her skinny jeans seemed to be a hit. Though he wasn't one among the crowd stuffing wadded bills into her hand with a sleazy grin every time she came around to bus tables, there was one man whose wandering gaze she kept meeting. (He'd rather have provided a much different type of gratuity, and she suspected that went beyond subsidizing her trip to the laundromat to wash her bedsheets.)

She had to put it out of her mind every time she caught and subsequently broke his stare. The wolfish smile he watched her with had her feeling more vulnerable than she'd have liked; every time she noticed it, she couldn't help but pale and duck away like a mouse dodging a trap (no matter how tempting the bait might've been). Not to mention it was distracting her from her job. She shook the thought from where it weighed down on her shoulders, instead scurrying back to the register to deal with the line.

"Alright, what can I get you?" The words were breathless as she rushed to the counter, having just made seven lattes in the span of approximately five minutes and ferried forty kilograms of dirty dishes back to the kitchen -- she wasn't looking forward to washing them at the end of the night. Her tired eyes snapped open when she realized who stood before her. "Lafayette! How long have you been here?"

"Standing in line, or in ze restaurant?" His smile was just on the right side of jeering, and she rolled her eyes.

"I didn't take that long to get here; I don't wanna hear it."

"Of course not, chérie." He eyed the menu posted above her as he spoke. "I arrived 'ere nearly two hours ago, but I 'ave only just now come to get food."

"Been avoiding me?" she teased.

"Can you blame me?" Her scowl was all but involuntary at how self-satisfied he looked, choosing to avoid her annoyed gaze. "Any recommendations from ze menu?"

"Whatever's most expensive." He raised a skeptical eyebrow, and she shrugged, holding her hands up defensively. "What? Like you can't afford the New England stuffed lobster?"

He pursed his lips as he looked back down at her, but his eyes were all smug amusement. "Fine. I will 'ave zat and ze agave lemonade."

"My paycheck appreciates it," she said. "That all?"

"Zat will be all for me." The devious smile he wore as he leaned in a fraction of an inch had her on edge. "But with 'ow he 'as been ogling you all night, I daresay Thomas may want something more."

"Lafayette!" she scolded him, stepping back from the counter to glare. "Why has that become the first thing you bring up every time you see me, now? I am at work."

Her seething was in a hushed tone, and he only shrugged, leafing through his wallet with a smug smile. "Remind him of zat, not me."

____________

It was nearing eight o'clock, and Y/N refused to remind herself that she still had more than an hour and a half to go. She'd deigned to wash the dishes by that point, actively avoiding the crowds in the dining room between Thomas's wolfish gaze and Lafayette's knowing smile -- she wasn't sure when her family diner had become a lion's den.

The yellow latex gloves she'd been forced to sport were an occupational hazard, she supposed, as she reached up to return her latest stack of side plates to their rightful place in the cabinet above her. When she turned back to the sink--

"Thomas!" She jumped back, holding the edge of the counter behind her. She hadn't heard him come in.

He raised an entertained eyebrow as she pulled off her thick rubber gloves, throwing them down onto the counter with a thud before reaching over to turn off the water. "What are you doing back here?" she huffed, "You can't be here."

He shrugged, and she could feel her heart rate rising along with the blood to her cheeks. Him cornering her, alone in the kitchen at her part-time job after all the texts they'd exchanged over the past week, had her feeling increasingly vulnerable.

He plastered on a mock pout, folding his arms as he leaned against the side of the counter. "Oh, nice to see you, too, Y/N. I'm great, thanks so much for askin'."

Y/N scowled. "Don't pretend I'm the one out of line, here."

"You aren't happy to see me?" His brow creased as he held a hand to his heart, and though she rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips twitched upward. "You're hurtin' my feelings. Figured it'd be a welcome surprise."

"Oh, of course, based on how thrilled I was to hear you rented the place out for the night?"

He grinned. "Exactly."

She huffed at his audacity, shaking her head.

"Anyway, what d'you want?" she asked as she moved to go back to where she'd been at the sink, shooing him away. However, entirely undeterred, he took a step toward her, and she took one back, nearing the corner of the room. Her eyes were wide.

"Thomas," she said hesitantly, and he took another nonchalant step toward her, slowly backing her against the kitchen wall. Her voice was shaky, her heart pounding in her ears like a warning bell. "What are you doing?"

"Well, sweetheart," he began matter-of-factly, his gaze hawklike. Her breathing stopped for a moment as he closed in on her, one hand landing on the wall beside her head and the other on her waist. His grin broadened. "I seem to remember being promised a 'next time.'"

At that, she couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh, the sound breathy. "Seriously? And you think now is a good time to cash that in? I'm working."

"So am I."  He shrugged. "Makes it more fun, doesn't it?"

"No, it absolutely does not!" Her reprimanding was losing its bite, though; his smile was apparently more contagious than anything she was going to pick up from touching the used cutlery of his unsavory voters. He leaned in toward her with a mischievous eyebrow raised. "Thomas."

"Y/N," he echoed mockingly before he dipped down, lips finding the side of her cheekbone, trailing down toward her jaw.

"There's a window in here," she reminded him, despite tilting her head to give him access to her neck. "We're in plain sight."

"Not from this corner." She could feel his grin against the side of her face. "Really think I didn't think this through, sugar?"

She let out a skeptical hum when his mouth reached her collarbone, running her hands up his chest, arching up against him despite herself. "This is a bad ide-- Ah!" She squeaked when he nipped at her skin, and his grip on her hip tightened.

"Whatever you say," he murmured into her neck.

"We're going to get caught." She let out a soft gasp as his hand on her hip traveled south.

"By who? Mira?" He pulled back to look her in the eye, a playful shine to his gaze. "She gonna fire you for stealing the attention of her favorite customer?"

Y/N rolled her eyes, pursing her lips to push back the grin that threatened to break hef stony facade. "No, she's gonna fire me for whatever health code violation this constitutes." She shoved him lightly by the shoulder, but it only prompted him to anchor her to him by the waist.

"I won't tell." The hand that rested against the wall threaded itself into her hair, tipping her head back to look her in the eye. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for any sort of reaction in the affirmative. She bit her lip.

"My kitchen shift ends in less than half an hour." His expression visibly deflated, and she gave a small, sly smile. "So you'd better be quick."

Delighted surprised flashed in his eyes; she squealed when he hitched one of her legs up to his waist, tightening her hold on his shoulders. "Well, I can't turn down a challenge, now, can I?"

With that, he reached over and flicked the sink's faucet back on, the water drumming loudly on the underside of a saucepan. She furrowed her brow. "What are you doing?"

"Drownin' you out."

His lips returned to her neck with increased fervor, and he tugged aside the collar of her shirt, biting softly into her skin. "Fuck you," she moaned, and he laughed.

"Right here, in plain sight?"

She was about to rebuke him, eyes narrowed and mouth ajar, before he began sucking a hickey into the skin of her shoulder, and he felt her whole body relax in his grasp as she let out a groan. "You're unbelievable."

"I do my best." Her eyes began to flutter shut as she lost sight of her initial task, the small tsunami of dishes becoming hardly a wave in the distance. His hands trailed further downward, and she could feel her chest heaving as she dug her nails into the thick material of his suit. She bit down on her lip, trying to remain quiet, desperate not to draw any attention, when the door opposite them flew open.

Y/N squealed, shoving Thomas away from her, but the damage was done when she met the intruder's eye.

"Lafayette?" she asked breathlessly, "What are you doing back here?"

"So it is only a problem when I come into ze kitchen?" He gave Thomas a pointed look, who glanced to Y/N guiltily. She yanked her shirt back over the reddening mark halfway across her shoulder with a huff. "I was only coming to ask where ze bathroom was, but I fear ze two of you may need it more zan I do."

"Out. Both of you." Y/N glared at Lafayette, who looked spectacularly amused by the scene he'd walked in on. Thomas, however, looked nearly as put-out as Y/N. She walked over to pull her rubber gloves back on, turned the water off in the sink. "I need to get back to work."

"It seems you should do ze same," Lafayette commented to Thomas, who straightened his tie, scowling.

"Thanks for the reminder." He brushed past Lafayette on his way to the door before he turned to leave, casting Y/N one more burning gaze that left her palms sweating.

Y/N turned back to the sink and grabbed the next dish from the stack, expecting Lafayette to follow Thomas out, but he only raised his eyebrows, joining her near the sink as she picked up a sponge and returned to scrubbing a spot of yellowish crud from the edge of a plate, grimacing when she realized it was crusted over.

"So," he started, and she looked up at him warily, not abandoning her task. "I take it my hunch as to where you disappeared to at ze fundraiser last week was not misguided?"

She closed her eyes to take a deep breath, pausing for a moment, thoroughly displeased with the hubristic smile he wore. She didn't give him the satisfaction of meeting his eyes. "What d'you want, Lafayette?"

She glanced in his direction as he pulled his lips into a dramatic pout. "Is my company not good enough for you to 'ave here? You hurt me, chérie."

"Right. No agenda there," she said dryly, and he shrugged, unable to contain his self-satisfaction.

"So, 'ow long have you and Thomas been carrying on in secret?"

After the momentary pause the bluntness of his question gave her, she rolled her eyes. He came around to the drying rack on her other side, apparently ignoring her peeved sarcasm. "We aren't."

"Non? Then what, exactly, did I just walk in on?"

"Give it your wildest guess." As she turned to add a plate to the stack, she watched Lafayette hoist himself up onto the counter to her left. He gave her a sly look.

"Why did you not tell me about your little liaison? It is not like it was difficult to figure out."

"'Liaison'," she snorted. "Is there anything you don't know how to make sound pretentious?"

"Do not avoid the matter at hand."

She could feel her cheeks beginning to heat as she turned the faucet back on, and it wasn't just the steam coming from the scalding water. "It's not like that, Lafayette. Seriously."

"'Ow far 'ave you two gone?"

"Lafayette!" She turned with that to glare at him, his nonchalance about her embarrassment only compounding upon it.

"What? Do you really not want someone to confide in?" She paused at his words, though her scowl didn't relax, and he took that as an invitation to continue. "I can only assume you 'ave not been 'aving zis conversation with Alexander. I can picture quite clearly how 'e would react."

She let out a huff of bitter laughter as she returned to the dishes. "Can't argue with that one. He thinks the hickey I came back from Detroit with was from you."

"Non!" His eyes shone with mischief, despite his contrived incredulity. "I am your cover story?"

"It's his theory; I didn't even give him the idea." She added another plate to her pile. "Though, a lot of my friends seem to think you're a whore, now."

"Mm, and why should I not go and tell them ze reality of ze situation?"

"Don't you dare!" she said. "What do you stand to gain from that?"

"Protecting my reputation, apparently," he said mildly. "Or, you could simply tell me what 'as been going on."

"Are you blackmailing me for gossip?"

"Think of it as an exchange."

She scoffed, turning her head to look at him. "You really are shameless, huh?" He shrugged, folding his arms as he turned to look at her expectantly, his knee bumping her pile of silverware. She sighed. "Fine. We screwed. You happy?"

"Delighted." He wore a small smile as he shifted her dishes out of his way. "'Ow many times? Only once? When was zis?"

"Lafayette!"

"What?" he asked innocently, but the exhaustion written across her face made him laugh. "Come on, Y/N; we are friends, non?"

"Seems like I'm stuck with you, so sure."

"Zen why do you not feel like you can speak freely with me?"

When she met his eyes that time, the words seemed to be in earnest, not even mocking in the slightest. He wore a small smile, and he broke her gaze after a moment, eyeing the layout of the kitchen.

"Alright. If it'll get you off my back." She sighed, shooting him a dirty look, and he nodded, pursing his lips to suppress the grin that was bursting at the seams. "It was a week before Friday. Only once. And, to be honest, I have no idea where to go from here."

"Thomas seems to have some idea where he wants to go." When she gave him a dead stare, he laughed. "I am not making fun of you, zis time. Truly."

"This time," she repeated bitterly. "I'm just... not entirely sure what I want. The whole thing feels risky."

"It certainly is risky if you are trying to get lucky in public during his campaign event." He gave her a scandalized look, but her scowl was unwavering.

"Thanks for the advice."

Her sarcasm left him undeterred. He shrugged. "But if you are careful, what is ze harm? I assure you, even the papers zat care enough to cover Thomas's sex life do not 'ave the resources to find out who is ending up in his bed."

She hesitated a moment, considering his words.

"No, you're probably right." She sighed. "The thing is... I don't know. It feels like it could become a problem."

"Ah, is there... something more you want out of zis?" The sidelong look he gave her was more concerned than she expected it to be. She shook her head, giving a light laugh.

"No, no, nothing like that." He'd begun moving the dishes to his other side by then to maintain his spot on the counter. Y/N rolled her eyes when she noticed. "My career just complicates things, is all."

Before he could respond, she took a step back from the counter, peeling off her rubber gloves despite the looming load of dishwashing she'd still have to do before the end of the night. "And as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I need to get back to making sandwiches. Head back out to the dining room."

She jerked her chin toward the door while retying the strings on the back of her apron. Lafayette frowned.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Not trying to. Kicking you out." She gave him a flat stare as she turned toward where she stood. "Some of us have bills to pay. C'mon."

He scowled as he hopped off of the counter and she waved him away, following close behind to herd him out the door. He glanced back over his shoulder at her when she did, though, and his gaze looked once again as smug as it had when he first realized what he'd walked in on. "If you insist, chérie. I understand that you must do away with me before you can carry on with your little affair. Do not let me get in ze way."

Y/N rolled her eyes at how pleased he looked with himself as he strolled back into the seating area, not giving him the satisfaction of a response. However, when she returned to the kitchen counter, she couldn't help but scan the room through the front window; who she was looking for went without saying. She found him already looking at her, and she swallowed hard.

Nothing articulable was conveyed in his heavy stare, nor in the barely-there smile he wore, arms folded as he watched her shamelessly. She bit her lip. The three seconds she held his gaze felt like hours, and when he finally winked and broke eye contact to turn to someone who'd just approached his table, she felt her stomach turn. This wasn't over.

------

Thomas's rally ended at nine, but it wasn't until closer to nine-thirty that he'd persuaded the final member of his constituency to call it a night. Mira, Orlando, Jac, and all their miscellaneous employees had gone home when their shifts ended at the official end of the event, but Y/N was stuck on the clock for another hour or longer until she finished cleaning up the mess left behind from the evening. Unfortunately, his event running over time meant that he didn't start clearing out his campaign setup until around five minutes after the diner was empty, and that his posters, decorations, and gaudily-colored buttons weren't actually gone until closer to nine fifty.

Y/N was clearing the kitchen counters all the while, knowing she couldn't begin to mop up the grayish mess of liquified dirt and matted grass scattered across the floor until they were both gone. When they seemed to be on the last load of red streamers and campaign merchandise, she emerged back toward the front counter to lock up behind them. Thomas was still out in the back when James approached her, his final box of t-shirts resting on his hip.

"Is there anything else you need from us before we leave? I don't want to take up too much more of your time."

Y/N smiled at the concerned look he wore. "Depends; have you paid Mira in full for all our troubles?" Despite her exhaustion, her tone was light, and the tension in James's brow relaxed.

"I gave her the check before she left."

"Then you're good to go." She shrugged as she went to collect another basin of dirty dishes from under the side of the counter; her annoyance at it couldn't even rise, not after the mountain of plates she already had waiting for her next to the sink. "I've got everything else under control."

He nodded. "Thank you for letting us rent out the venue. All our attendees seemed more than happy with it."

"If it was up to me, you wouldn't be here, but I'll take the credit if you're offering it." She raised a playful eyebrow, and he wore a tired smile.

"The credit's all yours."

"My gratitude is beyond words." Though the words were mocking, he let out a light laugh, and she couldn't help her wry grin.

"I'm always glad to hear it." He took another glance around the place, checking for anything that might've been left behind, before turning toward the back exit Thomas had just re-emerged from.

"What else do we still have to box up?"

James paused on his way out. "You're welcome to do a final sweep, but I believe we have everything."

"Yeah?"

"I'm fairly certain." He looked back toward where Y/N stood behind the counter once more, leaning down on the bakery case. "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Bye, James." Her sleepy voice has a singsong lilt to it that made Thomas smile as he searched the dining room a final time. She'd started toward the kitchen once more to retrieve her broom, but Thomas's voice stopped her.

"Anything else I can do before I head out?"

She turned on her heel to face him, wore a soft smile when she saw how earnest he looked, eyebrows raised and his hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants. "So long as you’ve gotten everything you brought here, there’s nothing I need from you."

"You sure?" When she raised a questioning eyebrow, he shrugged casually. "Just hate to leave this place a mess from our campaign event. Don't wanna leave you with all the extra cleanup."

She pursed her lips when her smile threatened to broaden. "That's sweet, Thomas, but really, it's okay. I'm on the clock for a while longer anyway. I think I can stick it out, considering I'm the one employed here."

"Feel like I remember hearin' somewhere that your shift ends at ten." He furrowed his brow, walking toward the counter where she stood. She didn't quite get his point until she turned to the clock above the doorway: it was nine fifty-eight. "'S there really nothin' I can do to help out?"

She snorted, folded her arms. "Not unless mopping the dried coffee off of the floors is your idea of a good time." When his expectant expression was unwavering, her eyebrows shot up. "You're not seriously offering your services as a janitor, are you?"

The corners of his lips quirked. "Only if it's welcome, sweetheart."

"You're wearing a full suit." The disbelief in her eyes was rigid despite his conviction.

"Don't mind. Long as I can throw my jacket somewhere." He cracked a grin. "Unless, of course, you just wanna get rid of me."

She eyed him skeptically, but he didn't seem to be joking just then. "If you're serious, I'm not turning down free labor."

"Or an excuse to spend more time with me?"  His tone was playful, and she couldn't help her spiteful laugh as she re-entered the kitchen.

"So that's your ulterior motive? Hope you don't think you're getting any when it's eleven o'clock and I'm half asleep from my seven hours here tonight."

"As, c'mon now, why's there gotta be an accusation?" he called after her, and she could hear the teasing frown in his voice. "Can't I just wanna lend a hand?"

"I'll believe it when I see it." She emerged not a minute later with a broom and dustpan to see him having shaken off his jacket and undone his tie. She quirked a brow.

"Hey, anywhere I can throw these?" His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms as he slid his tie out of his collar, popping open the first few buttons on his dress shirt, and Y/N bit her lip. The suits he wore didn't quite do justice to his physique; his jackets may have fit tighter around his upper arms, but his shirts were practically molded around his biceps just above where the veins bulging in his forearms disappeared into his sleeves. She was sure the few extra inches of visible skin below his collar were meant to draw her wandering eyes, only hinting at the toned chest she knew lay beneath the starched fabric.

When she looked back up and caught his eye, he looked predictably cocky. He wore a wide, smug grin, and she rolled her eyes before he even spoke. "You're starin', sweetheart."

Y/N shrugged, wearing the smallest of smiles. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

"Anything you wanna see again?" He raised a suggestive eyebrow, and she laughed.

"Tempting," she said, and when surprise flashed in his eyes, his interest piqued as he started toward her. However, she stopped him at arm's length, a hand on his chest. "But you know what would be really sexy?"

His delight in the turn of events was obvious. "What's that?"

She leaned her broom against the counter and took a step forward, pushing herself onto her toes until her lips brushed against the skin just below his ear, and his hands ghosted down to her hips. Her voice was just above a whisper. "Watching you disinfect all the dining room's high-touch surfaces."

She pulled back with a broad grin when he let out a disappointed groan. "Seriously?"

His frustration was obvious, his brow furrowed as he looked down at her, deadpan, and she couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, yeah. Free labor really gets me going."

"Tease," he grumbled, and Y/N gave him a skeptical stare.

"Don't you gimme that; I'm not the one here under false pretenses," she reminded him, and he folded his arms.

"Now I dunno what you could be refferin' to." She raised a dubious eyebrow when a grin split his phony discontent. "But there's nothin' wrong with mixin' business and pleasure."

"Don't you dare try to derail me after taking up six hours of my time, Jefferson." She prodded his chest with a scowl. "If you're sticking around, I'm putting you to work."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." When he did grab the broom, he glanced back toward the kitchen, wearing an inquisitive frown. "I'm gonna go stick my jacket in a cupboard; is that alright? I'll only be a minute."

"Oh, yeah; do you want me to take it? We have a coat closet in the back."

"Nah, 's alright. I can find it."

Though she gave him a skeptical once-over, Y/N nodded. "Have at it."

When he wasn't back a few minutes later, her train of thoughts managed to run a full 5k -- what could he possibly be spending that much time in the back for? Was he really still trying to find a coat hanger, by then? How hard was it to find a closet in exactly two rooms? Or, really, was he just hiding out until she'd already gotten the worst of the grime off of the tile?

She eliminated her final guess when early-2000s pop music began blaring through the diner's sound system. Though she groaned loudly enough for him to hear it from where he'd located the aux input, she couldn't say this was really a downgrade from Orlando's dusk-till-dawn smooth jazz. When he emerged from behind the kitchen's swinging door and caught sight of her dead stare, he laughed.

"Hanging up your jacket, huh?" Her annoyance was contrived; the way the corners of her lips twitched up gave her away.

"Hey, I can multitask." He bit his smile back, giving her a serious look, brow furrowed. "I said I'm here to help, didn't I?"

"How is this possibly helping?"

"'Cause you need to liven up a little bit," he said matter-of-factly, and Y/N rolled her eyes. "Cleanin's only boring if you make it boring."

"You'll be singing a different tune when you start wiping down the bathroom."

"Hey, how'd I end up on bathroom duty?" he pouted, and she shrugged, turning to the shelves at the back to hide her growing smile.

"As the only one of us who actually works here, I've elected myself the de-facto CEO." She hung her dishrag up on the rack next to the sink before looking back at him over her shoulder, shrugging. "Hate to break it to you, but you're on my turf."

"But I'm a volunteer!" he protested, and she grinned.

"My point exactly."

"Now, what if I refuse to do it?" Though she was busy restocking all the cups that she'd finished washing earlier in the day, she could hear Thomas's footsteps approaching where she stood behind the counter.

"Then you don't, and you finally leave so that I can be productive."

"Sounds like I'm really the one with the power, here."

"Not when I have something I know you want." She looked up with a suggestive smile when he hoisted himself onto the counter beside her, and he raised his eyebrows, folding his arms across his chest.

"And now what's that?"

"Three guesses, Thomas." She had a feeling he'd only need one of them when his gaze began to wander down the length of her body, eyes shining.

"I dunno how unpaid this labor is, sweetheart."

"Well, you won't quite be making minimum wage," she said, turning back to face him as she leaned against the counter opposite where he sat. "But I think the employment benefits will make it worth your time."

"That so?" He pushed himself off the counter's edge, hardly having to take a step forward before his arms landed on either side of her on the counter's edge, caging her in, and she inhaled sharply. His grin was wide; his hips pressed into hers as he leaned in, and she swallowed roughly, leaning back on her hands which rested on the linoleum countertop.

"I'd like to think so," she breathed, as he dipped down, wasting no time as his lips met the tender skin below her jaw.

"Mm, I think I'm gonna need to decide that one for myself," he murmured against her neck, and despite how tempting it was when his hands gravitated to her waist, falling slowly further as he bit down softly on her earlobe, she pushed him away the minute she found her last shred of willpower.

"Uh-uh." Thomas scowled as he pulled back, hands planted on the counter at her sides. She folded her arms. "I'm not gonna make even more of a mess of this place that I'll have to clean up. When the diner's shining, I'd be happy to revisit."

One of his hands rose to her jawline, lifting her chin up ever so slightly to look him in the eye, and she raised a skeptical eyebrow. "After the place is spotless," he murmured, his voice hard and his gaze fixed on her lips, "Hope you know how much you're gonna regret leadin' me on like this. You won't be tryin' it again."

Despite her effort to remain unaffected, Y/N's breath caught, and she bit down on her bottom lip as she struggled to fight the heat rising in her cheeks. Her eyes were wider than she knew, and he seemed to be reveling in her reaction, wearing a wolfish grin.

After a moment, she swallowed, took a deep breath, her voice shaky. "Last I checked, I'm still at work."

"And I wouldn't dream of hinderin' your career." Thomas winked as he took a step back, going for the broom where she'd discarded it before, acting as though nothing at all had happened. Y/N was left reeling.

Thus began the next ninety minutes of her life. Though, to Y/N's surprise, Thomas did end up cleaning the bathrooms, putting up little resistance, he'd also managed to convince Y/N to help him. Despite there having been two of them, every subsequent task took twice as long as it otherwise would've. She'd have denied it, but Thomas's presence was a more-than-welcome distraction.

About half an hour later, he'd managed to drag her away from her Lysol bleach and her old rags in favor of taking a break to dance with him (apparently, she was underappreciating the wonder that was Outkast's greatest hit). She rolled her eyes at the suggestion but grudgingly obliged, and Thomas couldn't help but call out the small, growing smile that broke her grumpy facade. He'd seemingly done the impossible by getting her to let herself go for an evening. Neither of them was quite sure how the floor had gradually become spotless between their distracted banter, nor when exactly they'd managed to wipe down every surface in the kitchen as his playlist seamlessly ventured through every one of Britney Spears's wildest phases.

She'd just about forgotten about her fatigue as Thomas repeatedly soaked the ankles of her jeans with his mop, claiming that her being in his line of sight was just too much of a distraction for him to do his job properly. She scoffed every time, but the fact that her cheeks had grown sore from smiling made her annoyance marginally less convincing.

He eventually took off his shiny black oxfords after having spent the evening trying to hide his concern over some of the chemicals in her soaps ruining the varnish; she didn't bother to argue with his insistence that it absolutely marked a milestone in their progress that he wasn't afraid to step in any greenish gunk or black mold -- if they hadn't missed any, what was the harm? However, she did reprimand him for ransacking their fridge when she left for three minutes to put the mop away. She didn't stay mad long.

Wiping down the glass of the bakery display case took too long for her liking. As it turned out, it was difficult to focus after teasing him for the expected mediocrity of the John Mayer impression he claimed to be impeccable, as he immediately decided it needed to be proven. However, she didn't regret provoking him when the result had her sides beginning to hurt from laughing. She was just glad that they'd nearly finished cleaning.

Much to his dismay, Thomas had to cut the music after the sweet old lady who lived above the dry-cleaners next door came down, banging on the back door to chew them out. The fire behind her threats to file a noise complaint with the cops died down pretty quickly when Thomas offered her a beignet and a cup of tea, sending her on her way with a winning smile, a to-go box, and a Jefferson campaign button. (Y/N proceeded almost immediately to scold him for just giving away the fruits of her hours of labor behind a deep-fryer.)

But as the music was revoked, their animated evening of slacking off began to wind down. The only thing left for them to do was to finish the dishes, and Thomas proved to be much more helpful with this than Lafayette had been earlier in the day.

All was quiet as he washed the dishes and she proceeded to dry them, silence split only by his sporadically humming the best of the Black Eyed Peas. It was comfortable, just being together as the warm air wafted from the cooling oven not too far behind, as their hands brushed every time he passed her another plate. Her lips were pursed in a feeble effort to hide how endeared she was every time she glanced to him, his sleeves soaked past the elbow while he remained unbothered. If he noticed, he didn't mention. Finally--

"How are you so good with people?"

"Hm?" He turned his head toward her with a raised eyebrow, and she had to ignore the flecks of foamed soap that clung to his curls and his shirt. Y/N shrugged.

"I just mean..." Her smile was shy; she didn't meet his eyes. "I don't get how you do it. Mira absolutely dotes on you; you've befriended half of our staff after one night here. You just talked to my crankiest neighbor for literally all of five minutes, and suddenly, she's part of your voting bloc."

He just watched her for a moment. His stare was soft. "Can't help it if people find me irresistible."

Her loud, disbelieving scoff made him grin, but she looked far from annoyed. "That's your secret? You were just born with it? It isn't Maybelline?"

Though he laughed quietly, when she turned to him with her eyebrows raised, he shrugged. Her question seemed to be in earnest. "I dunno, sweetheart. Don't think it's anything special. People seem just as drawn to you, anyway."

"Sure, 'cause I have a nice ass, and I'm wearing tight jeans. Not the same thing." How frankly she spoke made him grin, and he shot her a wink, passing off another bowl to her.

"Can't argue with that." She rolled her eyes as she began drying the next dish. He bumped his elbow lightly against hers, gaze teasing yet soft. "But you know that's not what I meant."

She sighed. "Alright, fine, but I'm not forty-points-ahead-in-the-polls charismatic. I just... can't figure out what it is about you that people seem so drawn to."

As she concluded moments later, the uninvited smile she wore when he flashed her a warm grin could've contributed to the reason. She turned back to the plates before her, feeling her skin warm under his heavy gaze. "So you're tellin' me people don't follow me strictly 'cause of my political framework and field experience?"

"Oh, I'm sure every one of your supporters has invested hours into reading the 174-page pdf of fiscal policy your campaign published." Another stack of cups went into the cupboard below her.

"People really don't care about how taxin' it was for me to write all that? And here I was, thinkin' every American voter was out there doin' their homework." He looked with disappointment down at the salad plate he was scrubbing at present, but Y/N wasn't buying it.

"Thomas," she groaned as she turned to meet his phony pout, her stare flat. Her mild annoyance only served to amuse him further, and though she scowled when he laughed, he leaned over to gently kiss the crown of her head. She could feel herself flush despite how chaste it was; the casual affection left her more thrown than if he'd tried to rail her in the middle of the kitchen.

"'M only kiddin'," he defended, voice heavy with mirth, making her roll her eyes.

"Aren't you always?" she asked, wiping off the inside of a cup.

"'Course not." He frowned, and she deadpanned as she turned to him, arms folded.

"I'm not sure we've had a serious conversation since I met you."

"Now, that's just not true."

"Isn't it?" He put down the saucepan he was rinsing out to turn to her, matching her demeanor.

"It isn't. I know I tease, but I've never been anythin' but one-hundred percent authentic with you, Y/N."

A moment passed where neither said anything. The corners of Y/N's lips quirked at how sincere he sounded as he waited for her to react. Finally, she turned back to the dishes before her with a tight-lipped smile.

"Maybe this is what it is."

"Hm?"

"Why people like you. This whole endearingly earnest act you've got going on. I could see that being pretty appealing to voters."

"Hey, what d'you mean act?" He bumped his shoulders into hers, offense written across his face, and she laughed.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know what I mean. Traipsing around from state to state like some type of charismatic golden boy. Making everyone feel all special and appreciated. It's a good tactic; don't get me wrong." She shrugged as she shelved the last stack of bowls. Just a few more things to wash, and they could officially consider the diner spotless. She didn't think much of her own words, but he hung onto them. It was inexplicable as to why he took so much pride in her all but admitting he made her feel special.

"My bein' all kind-hearted and charmin' isn't some scheme," he said after a moment, plastering on a scowl, and she raised an eyebrow as he passed her a fork. For a brief moment, she was worried she'd crossed a line, but when his eyes met hers, his gaze was playful. "'M just a nice person. Maybe you should try it sometime."

Her mouth fell open in surprise, indignant but hardly disguising her smile, and she let out a huff. "I was joking, you asshole!" When he only snickered, she pursed her lips, shoving him away from her with the little comparative strength she had.

"Hey, now!" His reprimanding had very little bite to it with the laugh carried in his voice as he stumbled a step to his right, tugging the faucet head along with him. He scowled at Y/N's self-pleased smile, flicking his wrist to turn the spray of water from the sink onto her.

She yelped, jumped back from it, but he'd already managed to drench the front of her shirt. She wore an expression of disbelief as she paused a moment, watching him return to the dishes as if nothing had happened despite his entertained grin. It was then that she struck back, lunging toward the sink to retaliate, and he wasn't quite quick enough to stop her.

He could only do damage control once she'd already managed to spray a line of water across his chest, and she gasped when he pushed her back to her part of the counter.

"You're more trouble than I was expectin'," he laughed, and she folded her arms.

"You're no walk in the park yourself."

"But you're the one who decided to let me stick around, sweetheart," he retorted, giving her a pointed look, and she shrugged good-naturedly.

"You might be a handful, but you're worth having around once in a while."

He laughed at how matter-of-factly she spoke, and for once, she wore an unabashed grin. "Now you're just flatterin' me," he teased.

"Oh, of course, such high praise; you aren't always awful."

"Hey, that means somethin', comin' from you," he defended, prodding her in the side, and she squealed, jumping away.

"Hands off, Jefferson. I'm at work."

"Aw, 'm sorry. Didn't mean to disrespect your professional boundaries."

"Check yourself next time," Y/N scowled, but there was no heat to it. The pair caught one another's eyes, both wearing the same, gentle smile, and it seemed too soon when he broke her gaze, returning to the last couple pieces of silverware. She watched him another moment until he turned to pass her a ladle. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed her gaze hadn't strayed.

She only turned back to the counter when she took the ladle from him, drying it off and sliding it back into its place in the drawer. All was quiet, and though they could both feel the chilled air of the spring night drifting in through the poorly-sealed back door, where they stood, it felt perfectly warm.

He glanced at her. "'S nice to see you like this."

The comment was offhanded; he didn't wait for a response, only returned to washing the spoons, but Y/N furrowed her brow.

"Like what?"

He turned back to her with a raised brow, mildly surprised at the curious frown she wore, and he shrugged, still wearing his faint smile. "I dunno." She didn't fill the silence, and he continued, "With your guard down. Always feels like you've got some kinda walls up."

She swallowed; for a split second, her gaze was absent. Ultimately, she sighed. "I guess I'm just cautious," she said quietly, and Thomas frowned at the defensive lilt that had returned to her tone.

"I get it." He reached over to finally turn off the water, and she put away the final fork he handed her. "'S not always worth lettin' people in."

His smile was tiny, barely there, but understanding, and when she met his eyes, it felt like he was seeing right through her. "It just makes it too easy to get hurt."

He nodded, eyes kind. "'M glad I make you feel like you can relax."

She hardly shrugged as he turned to her, leaning on his hand on the countertop. "Yeah." A small smile graced her lips as she eyed his expression, and she bit her lip. "I guess there are worse things, huh?"

His laugh made her nervous gaze soften. "Aw, sugar, you're too kind," he said, the mocking sarcasm in his voice balanced out by how gentle his grin was. She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," she said softly, and he plastered on a mock pout. "I'm not building up your ego any more, alright? I'm not sure it has any room to grow."

"I wouldn't mind you makin' me just a little bit more conceited, now."

She finally turned all the way to him, putting down the dishcloth she'd been using for drying, and despite herself, the affection in the way he was looking back down at her made her heart flutter. "If you're looking for blind adoration, you should've figured out by now that I'm not the girl for that."

"No, you really aren't, are you?" Though her words had been pointed, had come with the intention to knock him back down a peg, his low voice was far, far from contemptuous. Her eyebrows jumped when he took a step toward her, taking her chin in his hand to lift her face to his before bending down to meet her where she stood, his confident lips gentle against hers. "You're so much more than that," he murmured, not pulling away enough to even look her in the eye, their noses brushing together.

Though she hesitated, it was a moment later that Y/N took a step forward to meet him halfway, her tentative touch rising up the stiff material of his shirt and to the back of his neck. He wrapped an arm around her waist. She pushed herself up onto her toes, and their lips met once again.

The patience in his every move was new to her, inconsistent with the raw desire that usually governed his actions. When he sucked her bottom lip between his teeth, her mouth parted in a soft moan, and he took the opportunity for what it was, wasting little time in pressing his tongue teasingly against hers. He was holding her close, but she was arched fully up against him regardless of it, wanting to feel the movement of his body against hers. Both her arms looped around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her.

The kiss was deep, intimate, but not harsh, and when his mouth moved to the skin of her neck, she tipped her head back, eyes closed with her silent sigh as his hands moved down to grip the backs of her thighs. She couldn't help her surprise at how effortless it was for him to pick her up, to lift her onto the counter she'd been standing in front of. She groaned when his lips found a particularly sensitive patch of skin, all but going limp in his grasp.

"Thomas," she whined, wrapping her legs more tightly around him to anchor his hips against hers, grinding against his hard body.

"Come home with me," he muttered into her neck, and though she gasped at the feeling of his teeth scraping against her, she pulled back to look him in the eye, raising his head to hers with a hand in his curls.

"What?" she whispered, chest heaving, and he pressed another soft, chaste kiss to her lips.

"Come home with me," he repeated, looking into her wide eyes.

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows at her hesitance, and she took a deep breath. "Thomas, I live upstairs; if you wanna stay, I... I definitely wouldn't mind that, but--"

She cut herself off at his skeptical hum, and he said, "Listen, I almost got caught tryin' to sneak outta here in the morning last Saturday, and I'm not tryna have a repeat of that, alright? Just come back to my place." One of his hands lifted from her thigh to weave itself into her hair, holding her head by her nape as he kissed her, more intently that time. "Promise I'll make it worth your while."

She swallowed. "Pull your car around the back."

---------

It was hours later that Y/N found herself lying exhausted on satin sheets, slumped in a penthouse just across the river and high above the city. Thomas hadn't been lying about making the most of her time; his hands had seldom left her skin from the moment she entered his passenger seat, dragging her quickly past the doorman on the first floor of his building, pinning her against the wall of the elevator for a heated, fleeting moment before he'd finally tugged her the rest of the way to his apartment.

She was wrapped in his covers up to her chest, feeling just on the wrong end of self-conscious, but her clothes were rumpled and sprawled across every corner of the rooms they had to pass to reach his bed. They hadn't been overly concerned with where the outfit ended up, just that it wasn't on her skin. Every joint in her body was already sore, and she groaned as she tried to sit up, leaning against his headboard as Thomas returned to her with a glass of water.

"Thanks," she said, and he couldn't help but grin at how hoarse she sounded as he handed her the cup.

"'Course, sweetheart." He came to sit beside her as he pressed a kiss to her temple, and she took a long sip of the water, nearly draining all of it in one gulp. "You alright? Everything still feeling okay?"

"I'm exhausted, and my ass hurts like a bitch," she griped, but when he raised an eyebrow, she nodded. "But I'm all good. Might have to bill you for the truckload of concealer I'll need to cover up all these fucking marks, but I'm fine."

"Good." He squeezed her thigh lightly when she leaned against his side, her legs bent and knees pulled in toward her chest. When she rested her head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her against himself with a small smile.

"Can't believe I didn't know you live in the same building as Lafayette, though," she mumbled, and he looked down at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, he actually lives just across the hall. When he came back from France lookin' for a place to live, I thought it'd be fun if we were neighbors, and he took me up on it pretty easily."

She hummed her acknowledgment. "So that means, when Lafayette showed up half an hour late to your lunch date and I was there instead, that it would've taken you all of five seconds just to go home?"

He laughed. "Now, what exactly are you accusin' me of?"

"Being a pain in my ass two weeks ago," she grumbled, and he shrugged, wearing a small, self-contented smile and not bothering to argue with her.

"You didn't seem to mind me bein' a pain in your ass last night." He raised a smug eyebrow, and she scowled, turning her head to break the eye contact. She disregarded the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks.

"You say 'last night' as though we didn't get back here less than four hours ago."

"Don't pretend you don't get the picture."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips quirked when he kissed the top of her hair. She looked down at the cup she held against her chest. "Is it cool if I stay over?"

"'Course. I don't want you gettin' in an Uber with some creep in the middle of the city at this time of night."

"Mm, but you had no problem with me getting in a Bentley with some creep in the middle of the city four hours ago?"

Despite the teasing bite to her words, he grinned. "Hey, now, I'm just sayin' you gotta be selective about which creeps you're lettin' drive you around at all hours."

"I mean, you haven't killed me yet, so I'd call that a point in your favor." She yawned, reaching over to put the glass he'd given her on his bedside table. "We should get some sleep. It's late, and I'm sure you have somewhere to be tomorrow."

"Alright, sweetheart." She pushed herself forward from the headboard, laying back onto the pillow she'd been leaning on, holding it close to her head as he reached over to turn off the lamplight before joining her under the covers. "G'night."

"Night, T."

They fell asleep almost immediately in one another's arms.

------------

5:17 AM

From: john.adams@exec.gov

Y/N--

I’m glad you reached out. Your writing’s excellent as always, but if there’s information you want, you’ve very much come to the right place. I’ve worked with Thomas for years, and though they left me dismayed, I’ve become quite familiar with the not-so-shining moments in his background.

I’d rather not put anything in writing should someone find this communication. Let’s find a somewhat private place to meet. Be sure to bring a recorder and a notepad. Believe me when I say you’re going to want to hear what I have to say.

John Adams

[queenxxxsupreme]

OMFG IM SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU WITH THIS WHILE YOURE IN A WRITING PAUSE BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOU TO THINK THAT YOU HAVE TO WRITE THIS BUT IF I DONT TELL THEN I WONT REMEMBER😫:

I saw one of your recent reblogs with the little bats and you mentioned getting it tattooed. So my brain came up with this idea that I find ✨adorable✨. Do you remember when we were talking about how in a modern AU, Regis would be like a sophisticated older man, but he would be tatted up? Ok so imagine him and reader being in a relationship for a good long while, and he at one point told her that he really thinks through his tattoos before he gets them done and puts a bunch of thought and feeling into each one. So as a gift during a milestone in the relationship, he says that he wants to get a matching tattoo with them, and they can help choose some ideas, and the reader recommends the two little bats because 1. Cute, and 2. She Knows about what he is and wants to show their love for him?

Im so sorry this is super detailed and I know your busy but I had to share because I thought you’d appreciate it🥺💕love ya dear!❤️—���

A/N: I needed to distract myself from rdr2 so this is what happened. and I’m not even gonna lie. I am seriously thinking of having someone commission Regis with tattoos…... 

***

You hummed quietly as you moved around the room, gathering what dishes had been left on the table and placing them into the wash basin. You didn’t get very far before hands were on your hips, stopping you from moving, and a warm breath was brushing across your neck. 

“Darling, I told you I’d get these when I returned. Dettlaff just needed a moment to chat before he left.”

“I know.” You looked over your shoulder to Regis. He kissed your temple and tried to gently move you aside but you refused to move so easily. “No! I’m already here and I’m already cleaning it up. It’s almost done-,”

“Then there’s no harm in letting me finish it, is there?” He raised his brows. 

“Regis-,”

“My darling, you are so stubborn.” He gave you another kiss to the temple. “Just let me help you.” 

Using a little more strength on you than what he’d usually like to, he was able to move you aside and start picking up the wine glasses from the table. 

You huffed and hurried around the table to try to get the last two cups on the other side, but Regis beat you there, using his vampiric powers to teleport himself there. What he didn’t count on, however, was you bumping into him. This caused him to spill the remnants in the wine glass all over himself and on your dress. 

You gasped, your hands coming up to cover your mouth. Regis laughed, moving to place the glasses with the rest of the dirty dishes. 

“Regis, I’m so sorry-,”

“No worries, darling.” He cut you off, shaking his head. “No worries at all. It’s just clothes. Clothes can wash.”

He took off his doublet and put it over the back of a chair, then he began to unbutton his undershirt. You went to help him, gently nudging his fingers away so you could work on the buttons yourself. 

“I don’t mind doing the cleaning.” You spoke softly, looking up at him through your lashes. “Especially when Dettlaff is here. I know he has a hard time sometimes. With…. With just….”

“He struggles fitting in sometimes.” Regis sighed gently. His eyes fell to watch your nimble fingers. “But he will be okay. He’s always okay.”

“You just worry about him.” You finished unbuttoning the shirt and looked up at his face. “It’s a shame he wouldn’t stay here a bit longer.”

“He didn’t want to invade- which I told him was rather silly.” Regis shrugged out of the undershirt and put it over the same chair the doublet was on. You watched him move, admiring the way his muscles moved beneath ivory skin.

He had a number of tattoos across his back, including a large moth that spread across the top of his shoulders and a skull that rested at the small of his back. 

“But he insisted. Saying some nonsense about it being our fifteenth anniversary.” Regis continued to talk, though you were too caught up admiring his tattoos to really listen. 

He turned back around to face you, wondering why you weren’t saying anything. 

Your eyes immediately darted up to his face upon realizing he had caught you staring. 

“I, uh, I was, erm-,”

“Staring?” He grinned, tilting his head to the side a bit. 

“Well, yes.” You admitted, feeling your cheeks get hot. “But I-I was also thinking…. Fifteen years?” You repeated, almost in disbelief. 

“Fifteen years.” Regis confirmed. He nodded his head, closing the space between you two. “Seems like just yesterday you stole something very important from me.” 

The corners of your lips turned up as he approached you. You couldn’t help but step back until you bumped into the counter. Your heart was racing, thumping against your chest. It was the most wonderful feeling to have your heart race the same way it did when you first met him all those years ago. 

“What did I steal from you?” You tilted your head back to look up at him properly. 

His long and slender fingers trailed along the side of your throat then your jaw until he reached your chin. His thumb carefully traced your bottom lip.

“My heart.” His breath was warm as it fanned across your face. 

You giggled. Your eyes left his, trailing down to the moon tattooed over his heart. You brought your hand up to trace over the black ink just as you had done numerous times before. 

“Fifteen years.” You whispered. 

Regis took your hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. Then he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“Let’s get this mess cleaned up, darling. I’ve got something I’d like to discuss with you.” He began to pull away without any further explanation, leaving you a little worried. 

“Oh, okay.” You nodded your head. “Um, is it-is it anything I should be concerned about?”

“Oh, Heavens no.” Regis shook his head, moving back to you to give you another kiss on the forehead. “I’m sorry to have worried you. But it’s nothing that you need to worry about. Just something I want to discuss.”

***

Regis climbed into bed to get comfy while you finished braiding your hair at your vanity. After the braid was finished, you moved around to your side of the bed. You clambered across the mattress until you reached him. Instead of laying down, you leaned against his hip, curling your legs up beside you. 

“What do you want to discuss?” You asked. You picked up his hand and decided to examine the tattoos on the back of his hand and his fingers rather than look at him. 

“Well, I know today marks the day of our anniversary so I’d be a little late for it, but I want to do something for our fifteen years. Something that isn’t just dinner with Dettlaff and a romantic night in.” Regis watched you curiously as you looked his tattoos over. It fascinated him how you were always so captivated by his tattoos even though you knew every single one he had. 

“Do you have something in mind?”

“Mhm. A tattoo.”

Your eyes flickered up to meet his almost instantly. Your lips parted and Regis could hear your heart start to beat quicker. 

“Oh, Regis. That’s-That isn’t a good idea.” You shook your head. 

“Why?” He sat up, propping himself up on one elbow. “I’ve given it plenty of thought. Marriage isn’t an option, it’s not something either of us want.”

“But that doesn’t mean you should get something permanent like a tattoo for our anniversary on your body, Regis.” You shook your head. “What if we aren’t…. What if we aren’t permanent?”

“My darling, there has never been a time in our fifteen years that I have ever thought I’d want to be with someone else.” Regis sat up all the way and reached out to cup your cheek. “And if there would ever come a time when I no longer had you, I’d seek out someone willing to liquidize me again. I don’t want to be without you, Y/N. I love you.”

You searched his eyes, your hand coming up to hold the back of his that rested on your cheek. 

“You’ve thought it through?”

“I have.” He nodded firmly, pulling his hand away from your face. “I’ve thought it through plenty. It’ll be a bat. And I want it here on the inside of my wrist, just above my pulse.” He turned his arm over to show you the bare skin on his forearm. You brushed your fingertips over the spot, pressing gently until you could feel his pulse beating firmly beneath. 

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. He wanted to do this as an act of commitment to you. As if he hadn’t proven his commitment before. You both had rings from your tenth anniversary and necklaces from your fifth. Now, he was getting a tattoo. 

“I want one too.”

Regis’s eyes widened as he lifted his head to meet your gaze. 

“Darling, you don’t have to.”

“I know.” You nodded softly. “I want to.”

“Where do you think you’d want it?”

You thought about it for a moment, looking down over your arms and then your torso. 

“Perhaps my ribs. The left side. Your heart is bigger on the left, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“That’s where I want it.” You stated proudly, rubbing your side through your chemise. 

“If it is what you want, my darling, but please don’t feel like you have to.” Regis shook his head softly. 

“I want it, Regis. It’s a really nice and-and a really beautiful idea.” You clasped your hands together in your lap, but they didn’t stay there for very long. Regis took them and held them in his own. 

“Why do you want it there?”

“You have my heart.” You answered softly. “It’s yours. You protect it.”

He smiled at you, leaning forward to kiss your cheek. 

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an–actual–human–disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @sometimesiwrite @you-fxcking-wish-bish @thanks-bruh-for-nothing @maan2442 @thegaydeath @creatingstuffinpeace @wellthisstinks @andyrazzledazzle @she-wolfoftheinquisition

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."

[pauleonotis]

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by @rosabella1315, thank you!! <3

1. Nicknames?

Pau (and various others as Paul, Lina, Paula, Pauli... idc you choose lmao but I like to introduce myself as Pau)

2. Name?

Paulina

3. Zodiac

Virgo

4. Favorite musician or groups?

Bastille, Coldplay, Owl City, Fall Out Boy, Nickelback, Evanescence, Simple Plan, Santiano, etc... idk, I listen to a lot of music actually so there’s no particular group or musician that I‘d prefer so these are some examples of groups- or bands (...I feel so stupid to ask but is there a difference between bands and groups?)

5. Favorite sports teams?

I’m not a big fan of sports I have to admit, so I don’t know any teams lmao.

6. Other blogs?

I don’t have any other blogs but I am on other sites so ima just link my Instagram, Twitter (there’s nsfw art tho!), and Ao3.

7. Do you get asks?

Yes I do sometimes. I want to thank everyone who takes their time to leave an ask, I really appreciate it! (As long as it isn’t anon hate lmao but in case anyone who does that sees this right now, I delete these kind of asks so you‘re basically wasting your time by leaving negative comments but thanks for your time anyway I guess.)

8. How many blogs do you follow?

About 550 or so.

9. Tumblr crushes?

I don’t have crushes as in... really crushing on them— but uh... I do have crushes as in... I absolutely adore their blogs/posts/art/writing and the person behind it seems really nice and I love them (AS A FRIEND OR FELLOW MUTUAL OR FOLLOWER-) and admire their work and would try to be there for them always. Am I making sense? I hope I do.

10. Lucky numbers?

4885. Lmao no, I actually don’t have one. This number is just the current word count of the first chapter of a fic I‘m currently working on (still need to finish that chapter and then I‘ll have to look for a beta reader but I‘m kinda scared to ask for one on discord LMFAO)

11. What are you wearing right now?

My pyjamas.

12. Dream vacation?

I wanna go to London someday with my best friend. Aaaand I really want to travel to Pompeji someday.

13. Dream car?

Nothing really, just gimme something comfortable and with enough space for more than 2 people and enough room for maybe 2-3 suitcases or big bags in the trunk and I‘ll love it.

14. Favorite food?

Atm apples probably. Apples and bananas.

15. Drink of choice?

Water.

16. Instruments?

Triangle.

17. Languages?

German, English, bad French, worse Spanish... and I can understand a little bit of Dutch.

18. Celebrity crushes?

Don’t really have one.

19. Random fact?

I sometimes realize I totally forgot to answer people and then I’m scared to just... slide back into the dm‘s. And then I get sad because I wanna write with those people and I miss them horribly but I was the one to randomly vanish for a whole month and I actually feel really bad for it but somehow it happens again and again. ;-;

20. Favorite ecosystem?

Uhhhh... forests probably. And grasslands, if I‘d have a horse... I don’t have one but I recently had this dream of me having a horse—

21. Favorite cat species?

I love cats in general. Idk what species exactly Ivory was (I actually think something mixed-?) but she was a gorgeous cat with really long and elegant legs. She was really clumsy tho. But still adorable, calm, sometimes playful and overall really gentle.

Tagging @rockmarina @samyistrying @drarryruinedme7 @april-thelightfury115 @aceveria @ohheavenlylord @parkkate @triggerlil @keyflight790 @practicefortheheart @xx-thedarklord-xx @qmortentia @nourix-png @jackofallplagues @fictional @teruyo @mslyramalfoy @sirene312 @big-draco-energy @cibeewastaken @latibaris (well, I tagged some blogs I normally wouldn’t tag because I‘m hella afraid of annoying anyone so in case someone wants their tag removed please tell me and I‘ll do that or feel free to just ignore this. I’m so sorry in advance!

And of course it’s up to everyone if you wanna do this or not, no pressure. <3)

[youngke]

INSTRUCTIONS: TAG 10 PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

and [thor voice] ANOTHER! a much longer one, too. tagged once again by the loveliest of lovelies @kidmannicole <3

name: sheryl starsign: aquarius sun, gemini moon, gemini rising hogwarts house: i’m finally a ravenclaw height: 5′3″ i think sexuality: queer favorite animal: doggos, pandas, elephants average time of sleep: 5-6 hours but i wish it was more current time: 10.34pm dogs or cats: doggies blankets you sleep with: one big one i like to wrap around myself so i’m a human burrito when you made your blog: this blog? maybe 3 years ago? but i’ve been on this site since 2009 omfg followers: about 150 why you made your blog: surprisingly, tumblr now seems like the least harmful social media platform for me since i can curate this space as much as i want reason for your url: bong joon-ho is a boss

RULES: ANSWER 21 QUESTIONS AND TAG 21 PEOPLE YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

real name? sheryl nickname? sher zodiac? aquarius favorite musicians or groups? janelle monáe, julien baker, pvris, my chemical romance, fall out boy, taylor swift, lady gaga, blackpink favorite sports teams? i am Clueless here other blogs? not anymore do i get asks? only sometimes how many blogs do i follow? about 100 and like maybe 10 of those are probably chris evans fan accounts tumblr crushes? ari you’re one of them!! also @whatelsecanwedonow whose blog is EPIC lucky numbers? 2, 7, 11 what am i wearing? black shorts, meg & dia t-shirt dream vacation? i want to visit all of scotland and ireland dream car? ya girl can’t drive and doesn’t really plan to LOL favorite food? carbs. <- SAME drink of choice? black tea or black coffee, no sugar instruments? piano and guitar languages? english and a little mandarin celebrity crushes? many many many people. i get crushes on talented performers all the time. and idk if you knew this but if you just spent a teeny bit of time on my blog... the answer is chris evans random facts? i cannot ride a bicycle

THIS OR THAT

coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party

20 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF THAT MAY SURPRISE PEOPLE.

1. do you make your bed? NO 2. what’s your favourite number? 11 3. what’s your job? i write 4. if you could, would you go back to school? fuck nooooooooo 5. can you parallel park? the bitch can’t drive. 6. a job you had which would surprise people? eh i’ve always worked within my field 7. do you think aliens are real? yep. 8. can you drive a manual car? is this quiz just trying to make me feel inadequate for not knowing how to drive!!! 9. what’s your guilty pleasure? nothing anymore 10. tattoos? sadly, none 11. favourite colour? lilac, powder blue, obsidian 12. things people do that drive you crazy? people who willfully miscommunicate drive me bonkerssss 13. any phobias? butterflies and moths 14. favourite childhood sport? netball 15. do you talk to yourself? all the time. 16. what movie do you adore? the lord of the rings <- DITTO 17. do you like doing puzzles? i haven’t done any since i was a kid so i don’t know! 18. favourite kind of music? anything with narrative, introspective lyrics 19. tea or coffee? truly both 20. the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? buzz lightyear space ranger. seriously.

honestly if you got to the end, you’re such a champ!!! ily. tagging you reading this specifically.

[ren-val]

@fuukonomiko said: How about something about a roomba accidentally summoning a demon while vacuuming a Ouija themed carpet

Senpai has noticed me. Ok this is the product of me thinking too much about the kind of stupid things that could happen if the Primarchs lived in this not so grimdark world. Also magic. And also I am kinda a fan of yours. And wanted to write something fun and very, very silly. Hope I didn’t butcher any characterization.

----------------------

Magnus looked at his study, and saw that it was good. He felt the pride that could only come with the knowledge of well done work and an organized space. Books, crystals, scrying tools, stationery, all kinds of objects laid down with a meticulous, almost zealous sense of place. It was, in many ways, absolutely gorgeous. 

But the best thing on it was the carpet; woven in black and ivory thread in the form of an ouija board. In the beginning he thought it was a joke, and that Jagathai had only sent a picture of it for the sake of laughter, before realizing that his brother was not one for mellifluous mockeries. 

And the amalgam of the beauty of the room and his pride made do something particular and unusual: he took a picture of it and sent it to the group chat he shared with his brothers. 

The first answers were tame and polite: Dorn talking about the architectural characteristics of the room, Lorgar complimenting his literary taste, Vulkan congratulating his efforts, everything was good until he realized he had made a big mistake.

It was the group chat. With his brothers.

All of them.

WHY THE FUCK TO YOU HAVE A OUIJA BOARD ON THE FLOOR?1?! DO YOU WANNA SUMMON SOME WEIRD SHIT?!1 IF SOMETHING HAPPENS I'M GONNA BURN DOWN YOUR PLACE

Magnus groaned for almost a whole minute, scolding himself mentally for even thinking that something good could come from making any part of his existence known to Leman. But even with that painfully gained awareness, he could not let that crass display go unanswered.

Oh here I was, wondering if Leman would ever like something that has actual letters and numbers instead of runic chickenscratch. Pity.

Instead of waiting for a reply, he put his cellphone in a nook of his desk, and tried to forget about the matter. After all, the other rooms needed to be as clean and orderly as his study. However, there was one last matter regarding the state of the finish room, and it was the dust laying in the carpet. A small detail, yet one that annoyed him a lot.

Not because of the words of his brother. No. Not at all. After all, he was wrong, and Magnus needed no proof of how wrong he was. But to prove a bad idea wrong was never a bad action, and besides, the carpet really needed vacuuming.

So, he brought the small robot that served for such a purpose (Perturabo said it was called roomba, but Magnus felt it was a silly name for something not only useful, but also given by his stern brother), and turned it on in the carpet. He saw it was good, and left for the living room to continue the moving.

Things were calm for half an hour, just soft music and the rustle of things being moved to their rightful places. But then the scent of otherworldly smoke started to fill the apartment. And after that a myriad of whispering voices that came out from the study, some even mimicking the mechanical buzz of the little machine. Magnus did not think much of it, until he heard the sizzle of fire, and thought of his books and his treasures being consumed by flame.

He ran to the study, thinking of where had he put the fire extinguisher, the one he thought he would never use. Even if he had thought of many disaster scenarios, no single plan or idea could have prepared him for the sight he encountered in the center of the room. 

Just above the somehow intact ouija carpet floated an inexplicable creature, half man and half bird, covered in everchanging and glittering jewels, its two heads glaring at him, teeth shining within their beaks as if trying to snarl and smile at the same time. It was way too big for the small apartment, and it talked in lies and contradictions in a thousand languages and more. Its mere presence causing Magnus a headache.

Focus. He had to focus. He knew the rituals and the words and the ways to dispel such things quickly to their immaterial plane. He had practiced and honed his abilities to do so. But he may be in the need of some help to subdue the thing that was looking at him. He could call someone, anyone.

But the mere thought of someone thinking that Leman was even a tiny bit right (he was not, by any measure, but he could not count on anyone to see that simple truth) made him doubt for a moment. 

Then he realized he was completely alone. The thing had banished.

“Well, shit”

[1-800-seo]

— 1-800-SEO'𝗌 𖧷 '𝖲𝗈𝗅𝗈 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗀𝖾' — \ 1 | 2 | /

— 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

— 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿/𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍

— 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌: 2655

— 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋: 2

— 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: ��𝗍'𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 90'𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗋𝗎𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐.

Your joints crack as you sit up in bed, you stare at the poster covered wall as your eyes adjust to the morning light. Taehyung shifts on his mattress on the floor a few metres away. The sun streams into the room through the slats of the blinds, honey glow lighting up the room. Your back aches as you stretch out your worn muscles. Last night’s activities tired out both your brain and your body.

You pad over to the chunky computer over by the window and switch it on before searching the room for your leather jacket. It’s on the floor underneath Tae’s feet, likely because it was discarded in a hurry to get some sleep. You rummage through the pockets until you find a small folded piece of paper, an old receipt, with a phone number and email address written in neat handwriting.

Once the slow computer has booted up, you load up the internet. The familiar ear piercing dial up tone You scramble to turn the volume down but it’s too late. Taehyung had already stirred and you’d jumped out of your skin. It scared you so much you have goose bumps and almost fall off your chair in the process of finding the volume button on the monitor.

Taehyung slowly sits up on the mattress, cradling his pillow like his life depends on it. His hair is ruffled and eyes heavy.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles out, voice croaky and low with sleep. “Sorry TaeTae, I was trying to ring up the internet but forgot that we played games on it on Wednesday night and didn’t turn down the sound.”

Apologetically you squeeze his knee, hoping he’ll be able to go back to sleep. You don’t like an overtired best friend, especially when yours gets extra cranky like a toddler. Luckily he lies back down and pulls his blanket over his head, most likely blocking out the light. You turn back to the computer and boot up the email program.

You input the email written on the paper, hands shaking as you type. You weren’t used to this, the email read ‘jjkook@yahoo.com’, it made you hyper aware that this doesn’t happen every day.

You begin writing your email to him, as you did so thoughts of gratitude and sentiment welled up inside. You u had to thank him for his kindness, after all, he spared you from a concussion.

The email read: Dear Jeon Jungkook/JJK,

Thanks for everything last night, it’s greatly appreciated. Your show was radical, and I’m sorry I bummed so much of your time. Hope we can meet again soon.

Sincerely, a loyal fan of yours, ~ ________~

You finished typing up your message and read it and re-read it for any mistakes. You wanted it to be chatty and casual but not overly casual so as to look like you don’t care. You left it at that and hit send. The paper airplane emoticon bounced in the digital wind as your email was sent though code to Jungkook himself. You got back in bed and hoped for your heart to stop fluttering.

By the time you received an email in your inbox that wasn’t from a school friend or an advertisement, it was the following Wednesday. You were having your usual hang out with Taehyung when the computer pinged in the background of your chatter. You just ignored it since a ping on your computer is usually just your school friends gossiping about how they want you to set them up with Tae, and went back to your sewing session.

By sewing, you and Tae weren’t exactly doing cross stitch, you were sewing on patches to his back pack and your denim jacket. After you had finished that, that was when you checked your ivory coloured, cube shaped computer monitor and spotted the sender’s name: Jeon Jungkook/JJK.

Tae almost had a heart attack when he saw it with his own eyes. To double check he brushed his fringe out of them. He grabbed you by the shoulder, and shook you back and forth. “Don’t tell me that’s the JJK! Are you serious?!” He exclaimed as he rocked your brain in your skull.

“I mean I think so, I emailed him on Saturday morning.” You scanned your brain for any reason why it wouldn’t be the real him, maybe a scam?

“Open it quick!” Taehyung jumped on the computer, spamming the enter button repeatedly. The email took its time opening, the loading bar going up bit by bit. Too slow for Taehyung’s liking. A few “come on, come on!”’s later and it popped on the screen in all its anticipated glory.

It read: dear ______, im glad to hear that youre ok. dont worry about ‘wasting my time’, you made a normal day exciting, and i cant thank you enough for that, doll. hopefully we can meet up some time? id like to invite you and your friend to my next scheduled show, don’t stress about travel, ill sort it, it’d just be nice to see you again and catch a bite to eat before the show. i want to see your pretty face again, angel. let me know asap.

yours truly - jjk.

As soon as you read the email, you shook with excitement and screamed. Taehyung had wide eyes and his mouth agape. “No. Freaking. Way.” He gasped, completely in shock.

“How did this happen to me? This is a dream, right?” You shake your head as to clear a non existent sleepy fog that could be making you hallucinate.

You look back at the monitor; the email is still there. “This can’t be real?!” You exclaim, turning to Taehyung on your swizzle chair, wide eyed.

“It has to be? This is a real email, it has his email address right there!” He pokes the screen at the point of mention. “It all seems legitimate?” You ponder, searching the screen any tell tale signs of a scam.

“I hope it’s not too good to be true... I want to be your future children’s godfather.” Taehyung said with a giggle, covering his bashful smile.

“You have to be kidding me, as much as I’d like to have his children, we’ve only met once!” You blush, cheeks going warm.

After all the fangirling, you decide to sort out the arrangements of your next meet-up, and exchange more heart fluttering emails as you smooth out the plans. A few emails later and the plans end up being that you’ll start the evening with catching something to eat on the boardwalk and then you’ll go to the venue for his next concert, meet Taehyung there, chill out in the green room, and then watch the show from front row seats.

The whole plan was unreal to you, unrealistic at its simplest, but you were excited nonetheless. The day came around sooner than expected and soon enough you were picking out the perfect date outfit with your best friend, as well as wondering whether to do pre-game shots to steady your nerves.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this plan, TaeTae?” You ask hesitantly, staring into the mirror and meeting eyes with him across the room.

“Of course I am, I’m just happy I get to see my favourite artist again in concert; never mind be wingman for my favourite girl. It’s extra special when those two events align though.”

Boxy grin on his face, he looks at the ground. “You’re the best, honey bear.” You say and pull him into a befitting bear hug.

“I’ve not heard that name in a while.” He chuckles under his breath and places a firm kiss on the top of your head.

“I know your mum used to call you that when we were little so I thought it fit you; my big honey bear, intimidating to others but so sweet to me.”

You release him from the hug and share a look that holds the bond of a years long friendship. “Right, what’re you going to wear then?” “Shall we coordinate outfits?” Tae asked picking out a camouflage bandana. “You could wear your camo print pants, and I’ll wear this?” He wraps the bandana round his head and fluffs his long dark wavy hair. His change of conversation kickstarts you back into the present reality. After that, you pick out a black sleeveless crop top to go with his advised pants, layered necklaces/chokers, and boots and put them on after you’ve adorned your pants with metallic dangling chains. Once you’re in your grunge get up, you shove your across the shoulder bum bag with any essential item you might need, such as lipstick, tampons, money, etc. and sling it over your back like a quiver. If you need it you’ll have to turn it round but it’s for the aesthetic so you ignore the inconvenience it creates.

A few hours later and you’re driving down the Cali roads in Taehyung’s 60’s Triumph TR6 with the wind in your hair and nirvana blasting on tape. Miles and miles of beach zoom by until you reach the board walk and you don’t stop until you reach the high end sea restaurants built to feed tourists.

Taehyung pulls up by the entrance and lets you out. He looks stunning in the golden sunlight, dark hair glowing amber in the rays. “Don’t have too much fun.” He lifts up his sun glasses before sending you a wink, saluting you goodbye, and driving away.

“See you at 8pm!” You shout over the roaring exhaust. He never turns around but raises a hand in a wave of acknowledgement as he drives away.

You step in to the restaurant to be met with the smell of sea salt and braised steaks. You scan the tables for a familiar face until you see a hand waving over the sides of a booth in the corner.

“Didn’t expect to be seeing you here.” You say coyly, sliding into the booth opposite him.

“Well, you know, I was just waiting for a beautiful girl, but I think I’ve found one who’s more to die for than the desserts here.” He pushes a lock of hair out of his eyes, it has a slight curl to it, even more prominent now that it isn’t as sweaty as when it’s most commonly seen.

“Oh, and who might that be?” You fold your legs and place your hands underneath your chin, looking into his eyes with a smile.

“I believe it’s you, babycakes.” A flush forms on your cheeks and he winks at you.

“So what do you fancy eating tonight? I think I have my eye on something...” He fully takes in your outfit, but you’re not sure his eyes are only on your outfit, maybe this croptop was a good idea after all.

“I don’t know, can you recommend anything? I like things that are creamy.” You reply, batting your eyelashes, feigning innocence.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to whip up something delicious for you, darling.” A waiter comes and starts their opening spiel, this sends fits of giggles through you both.

A date full of getting to know each other, flirty comments, and general adoration for each other later, your cheeks were hurting because of how much smiling you had been doing. JK was so charismatic it hurt.

Soon dinner was over and it was time to make your way over to the venue. Hand in hand you stroll across the board walk to get there. The way the sunlight hits the waves is enchanting and you find yourself stopping to gaze into the bay.

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks whilst resting his hand on the boardwalk railings.

“Everything, nothing... I just keep thinking about how surreal this is, I feel like I’m in a dream. Partially because I’m in the presence of a super gorgeous singer and partially because said singer asked to spend time with me and now I’m on a date with them. If that doesn’t sound like a dream, I don’t know what does.”

You laugh and cover your face. Suddenly you feel two warm hands on yours, peeling them back from your face. When you open your eyes you are met with Jungkook’s emoting doe eyes looking back at you.

“I completely understand, I have felt the same before, like reality isn’t the same, or like I’m dreaming; but we’re here now, we’re present, you’re here with me and it’s real.”

He pulls you into a hug, his arms enveloping your body. Most people would feel uncomfortable, especially since you just met Jungkook, however here with him on the boardwalk, in the setting sun, you feel safe. You feel like you are where you’re supposed to be. You stand there hugging him on the boardwalk for what feels like a long time, and then you pull away and grab his hand, continuing the journey once more.

“Thank you Jungkook, that was so comforting, I can’t imagine you’ve been in a similar situation but I really am grateful for being here in your company. Can I ask, when have you felt like this?” You feel his thumb rub small circles into your skin, such a soothing notion.

“I don’t know, from time to time... I guess it’s just the perils of the job. Don’t get me wrong, I love this, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, but their is just some days where I really do feel disconnected. Show after show, blurring face after face, I’m on a high when I’m on stage but when I come down, I come down, if you know what I mean?” You notice his gaze is on the cracked sun bleached wood of the boardwalk.

“I get that. It must be hard every night to go from having the time of your life, to go back to normalcy once your feet touch backstage. I get that you’re just a normal guy who feels like a normal guy, but when people treat you like a god, it can’t sit right, can it?”

“Yeah, it’s like when I’m up there I’m deified but when I’m at home I’m the farthest thing from likeable.” He’s looking up, eyes turned towards the sky now, you wonder whether he’s doing this to stave off the tears.

“Jungkook, I know I haven’t known you long, but I can guarantee that when the lights are off and you’re home in your pyjamas, you’re just as likeable as the guy with the heavenly voice on the stage. I’m not saying this as a fan, I’m saying this as someone who wants to get to know you better, to see you when you’re not on stage, when you think you’re unlikeable, and to be able to tell you all the reasons why you’re so so likeable and worth so much more than you realise. No one is worthy of being deified, but you are certainly worthy of feeling loved.” You squeeze his hand tight in your palm to reassure him.

“Would you be the one to love me?” He turns to you and looks you in your shocked eyes. His are softened and tear filled. “I am not adverse to that... however could I maybe get to know you a little better first?” you say back, as lovely as this boy is, and no matter how much you wanted to love him, you couldn’t really say that yet.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so stupid, sorry for that, why would I ask that on the first date? What the hell? But also yes yes that’d be amazing. I’m so sorry though.” His cheeks flush and you can tell a mile off that he’s flustered, he’s still cute though. You giggle in return, “You’re too cute.”

And so you continue along the board walk, hands clasped together, you both make your way to his next show.

𖣔 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! 𖣔

𝖫𝖾𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽

𝖽𝗋𝗈𝗉 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀, 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽!

[wandloreinamerica]

The Wands of Fantastic Beasts

So this is very different from what I normally post. I hope y’all enjoy and if you agree or disagree, I would love to hear what you have to say. This post is long and very picture heavy so I will continue below the cut.

Let me say that I think most of these wands are actually well executed individually, and I think the team who designed and made these wands is very talented. That being said, some have large flaws and when seen as a collection, they feel very lazy, especially the wands from the second movie. I am aware of three other wands (Bunty’s, one labled “Auror’s wand” and a purplish wand). However, I was unable to find good pictures or other reviews online, so I was forced to exclude them. 

1) Tina’s Wand

Tina’s wand features a well-defined handle and cleanly tapered shaft. It has very plain lines, and primarily adds visual interest with the grain and mild color variation. This wand is somewhat unusual because it is not in the Art Deco style. However, this works because Tina has a no nonsense, no frills approach to life, and this wand reflects that. The simple and clean lines speak to practical mind and an appreciation of a quiet beauty, much like Tina herself.  This wand is my favorite because it really does reflect its master and its understated beauty.

2) Bernadette’s Wand

Bernadette has a pale wand with a nodular shaft/handle and an offset pommel that has been carved into a face. Frankly, this wand is great. The detailed carving and the pale color make it stand out. I have seen the face described as either a mummy’s face or a faun’s. In either case, it is a unique and somewhat bold choice that I think paid off. That being said, I personally find the face a little creepy which is why Tina’s wand is Number 1.

3) Rosier’s Wand

Vinda Rosier wields a rather neutral looking wand. The wand is a rich, dark brown wood with reddish tones that become more pronounced towards mid shaft before fading into dark brown at the tip. The wand itself is made of several elongated ovals separated by smooth dips.  While I do not like silhouette of this wand, I think the color is lovely, and I applaud the designers for not giving a dark looking wand to a dark character. 

7) Skender’s Wand

Skender’s wand has a ball pommel and a minimally tapered shaft with a thick square tip. The two sections are joined by a gold band. What really stands out on this wand is the color: the shaft is a yellowy olive with pointed black striping and the pommel is bright red. The simple design really lets the colors be the stand out feature on this wand.

8) Spielman’s Wand

Spielman has a somewhat unusual square cross section wand. The shaft is a clean black taper. This simplicity forms a sharp contrast with the detailed off-white and silver handle. The pommel is a heavy silver thing with two meander/Greek key borders. A meander is also used to decorate the small silver cross guard. The bulk of the bone/ivory(?) handle is divided into four sections by three silver bands. All of these sections have a small silver stud on each face.

This wand is very well designed. The colors complement each other, and the meander is expertly used to highlight the square cross section. I like playing with the cross sections on wands, so seeing a well-executed square one is nice. That being said, I do think some decoration on the plain shaft would balance out the rich handle.

9) Leta’s Wand

Leta uses slender black and silver wand. The handle features two wide silver bands both covered with delicate, hammered scroll work. The remainder of the handle is made of an elegant, multi strand twist. The shaft is long and quite thin, giving the wand a unique silhouette.

This wand is well designed. It is feminine and classy, but not overstated. 

10) Percival Graves’ Wand

Perceval Graves has a deceptively simple wand. The glossy black shaft is separated from the handle by a thin silver ring. The silver pommel resembles an inverted rook, and is joined to the handle by a thinner silver rod.

I think this is a well-designed wand, and while I am generally not a fan of wands with lots of metal, I think it works in this case. Part of this comes from the wand echoing some of the more futuristic Art Deco schools, and part come from the black and silver color scheme. In the first series black and silver wands were rare, so this wand stood out because of the unusual colors. However, black and silver wands have become more common and robbed this wand of some of its uniqueness.

11) Abernathy’s Wand

Abernathy’s wand features a black handle with an asymmetric spiral and a large ¾ ball pommel. A silver band separates the handle from the plain, medium brown shaft.

I think this is serviceable wand. I like the asymmetrical twist, and think it goes nicely with the pommel. However, while the colors do complement each other, the shaft is very plain, and almost looks like it was made from a different material from the handle, though it is possible that the handle was painted.

12) Yusuf Kama’s Wand

Yusuf Kama’s wand shares a similar color palette with Abernathy’s: the shaft is slightly darker and there is a touch more silver. The additional silver comes in the form of a broad pommel cap that has a slightly pitted finish. From here, the wand flows into a slim handle with two raised rings marking the middle. The silver cross guard slightly tapers to the shaft. While most lines on this wand (the grooves, rings and color transitions) run perpendicular to the wand, the cross guard has some delicate fluting that lies parallel to the wand. While subtle, this does serve to make that element the focal point of the wand.

I like the fluting on the cross guard, and overall, think the wand is generally fine, even if the shaft is a tad plain.

13) Theseus’s Wand

Theseus Scamander’s wand has a simple, gently tapered silhouette, and a plain warm toned wooden shaft. The shaft contrasts nicely with the rich gold and tortoise shell handle.

I like the similarities in the Scamander brother’s wands: both are simple baton style with shell accents. In Theseus’ case the similarities have all been polished and the wand looks like it belongs to a member of the British upper class. That being said, this wand really does feel like a non-wood handle was added to the wand.

14) Newt’s Wand

Newt’s wand is a simple baton, with a rustic, well used finish. The darker handle is separated from the shaft by a blueish band. The wand has a hollow pommel lined with mother of pearl.

I do not like the hollow pommel, as that is a weak spot, susceptible to breaking, and it will get filled with dirt, water, and other debris. I know that the designers wanted a natural look, with animal elements, but I think they tried too hard and it shows.

15) Queenie’s Wand

Queenie’s is mostly a slim black shaft. The visual interesting parts are located in the elongated two-part pommel. The first part is bright gold, miter-eques band that is decorated with an incised banner pattern. The band grips a mother of pearl column which cumulates in a delicate shell. When seen in a void, this wand is incredibly Art Deco, both in materials and motifs.

I have read that this wand was supposed to be “sexy”, but I personally don’t see it. I question the inclusion of that much shell, which would be fragile and likely to break (although if this is painted wood, I applaud the skill that went into the carving and painting.). I also think too much emphasis is put in the pommel/handle to the detriment of the shaft. Part of Art Deco is showing of the richness, and if in every day use all you can see it the very plain shaft, it kind of fails as an Art Deco piece.

16) Flamel’s Wand

Flamel uses a very plain brown wand. Much like Queenie’s, the plain shaft makes up most of the wand. The handle/pommel is made from a slightly curved horn. The horn is joined to the shaft by an aged gold band that has a slightly raised, swirling pattern. I am very, very, disappointed with this design. Flamel is ancient and you would think his wand would have a radically different look. Instead with the very plain shaft and fancy handle, this wand fits in with the modern wands in the rest of the collection. I would expect this wand to have significant gothic influence, with intricate, allegorical scenes, lots of fine details, and, possibly, painted areas to mimic stained glass.

17) Albus Dumbledore’s Wand

Dumbledore uses a black and silver wand. It features a broadly flared silver pommel that flows into the black handle. The handle is joined to the shaft by a broad silver band etched with runes. Just distal to this band is a delicate three-part hollow twist, smooth in the outside, yet rough on the inside. This then blends smoothly into the rest of the shaft.  This wand is visually interesting. But I have serious issues with the hollow twist. The location is where you would expect the most stress to be if you hit something while holding the wand, and with that area weakened, where you would expect the wand to snap. Additionally, how does the core run through that section?

18) Seraphina Picquery’s Wand

Seraphina uses a wand with a large amethyst crystal handle that draws most of the attention. The crystal is griped by a delicate silver cage which joins it to the shaft. The wood shaft is a very simple dark brown baton. Overall the color plate work’s well, and the silver cages serves as a textural focus point, with both the crystal and wood having almost no texture.  

While this wand does preserve the Art Deco feel, the large crystal looks like it belongs on a high fantasy fairy wand or a Wiccan wand rather than a Harry Potter wand. Additionally, the crystal is clearly grafted onto wood shaft, which raises questions about how the wand was originally constructed. Were the crystal and silver handle originally part of the wand? If so what was the cost of the wand? Was it added later, and how did that change the balance of the wand? To my mind, this wand is the epitome of an overly extravagant, inorganic handle grafted onto a very, very plain wooden shaft.

Overall thoughts:

Let me be clear, I think the props designers are fantastically talented, and by and large most of these wands are individually very well done. And there are some fantastic wands and some really awful ones. However, when you look at the overall collection it feels…lazy and over decorated.

Art Deco was clearly a major inspiration for the wands. I have also read that the design team wanted to go in a different direction, and separate these wands from those in the original series. And I think both ideas are good: it’s a different time, and Art Deco really is big at this point. But I think they got too wrapped up in the new, Art Deco direction and failed to adhere to the basics, both in wand design and in Art Deco.

 Too many of the wands look like they are plain batons grafted onto decorative handles. While there is nothing wrong with having a plain shaft, and most wands will have a plain shaft, here it is taken to an extreme.  Queenie, Picquery, Theseus, Speilman, Leta, and to a lesser extent Flamel, all have very rich, extremely detailed handles, that often seem to be made of non-wood materials. These handles stand in stark contrast to the shafts, all of which are very plain, and few have any notable grain. This contrast sharply with the books, in which wands are wood and the original series, where non wood accents are used sparingly. These new wands with their large non wood sections are a substantial reversal from the wood wands of both movie and book cannon. Secondly, as I noted for Queenie’s wand, part of Art Deco is showing off the rich exotic materials you are using. While these wands undoubtably have such materials used in their construction, they are exclusively confined to the handle which is covered in normal use. This means what you see most of the time, is a plain shaft, which really isn’t Art Deco.

The color palate is somewhat condensed, and this detrimental the Art Deco theme. A third of the wands use black and silver. This combination is very classy and elegant, but it is overdone. Before black and silver wands were unique, and stood out: now it is common, and slightly cheap. Wood comes in a staggering array of colors, and this collection does not reflect that. There are a myriad shades of brown, cream, tan and colors beyond that too. There is Padauk, Redheart, Redwood, Bloodwood, (all varying shades of red) Canarywood (gold and brown striped), Yellowheart (bright yellow), Osage Orange (orange), Purpleheart (purple), Pink Ivory (ranges from a pale pink to watermelon red), Lignum Vitae and Sassafras (both are often an olive green), and Holly (one of, if not the, whitest wood). And then there is grain. Black and White ebony is noted for its striking black and white stripping. Ziricote is valued for it’s beautiful landscape like grain, and the cream and chocolate stripping of zebra wood is always stunning. Spalting adds unique patterns and colors, while figured grain is not uncommon and can and an extra bit of oomph to another wise simple design. Using some of the above mentioned could have contributed that richness in the Art Deco style and added more variation.

There is also a huge missed opportunity here to show how different countries and wandmakers have different styles. There are American, British, German, and French wands here, but there is no real difference in the style, with the exception of Bernadette’s. We get a glimpse of this in the original series, with both Gregorovitch wands having a strong organic aesthetic (one can also include Grindelwald’s original wand in this group, as he appears to come from the same region).  Unfortunately, this does not carry over into this series.

 Sources:

http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0221/1146/products/Porpentina_Goldstein_Collectable_Wand_2_grande.png?v=1532942253

https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB12FqqSVXXXXXEXVXXq6xXFXXXY/Newest-Metal-Core-Deluxe-Harry-Potter-Fantestic-Where-to-find-Bernadette-Magic-Wands-Stick-with-Gift.jpg_640x640.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpBiah84Xy4&t=429s (a very different take on these wands, that I would suggest watching, to get another view point)

http://www.thedailyowl.gr/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/vinda-rosier-wand.jpg

https://www.wbshop.com/collections/fantastic-beasts-wands

https://www.noblecollection.com/Fantastic-Beasts-Wands

[brazenautomaton]

here is a pitch for a playable Lady in Devil May Cry 5 that is probably unworkable and overly complex and nobody cares about but I am posting anyway because I like to do this sort of thing

Lady is a fusion of Nero (charge attacks that encourage striking at the right time instead of mashing, Wire snatch) and Dante (wide selection of available means of attack encouraging you to switch often). She has one melee weapon and four ranged weapons. She’s meant to be a Gunslinger that encourages more stylish and varied and mobile gameplay. She moves fast and has a good dodge but her life bar is only half the normal length because she doesn't have preposterous "let's stick swords in my chest" durability.

T: Close-Range Attack (Sawed-Off Shotgun) S: Basic Shot C: Advanced Shot (Gunslinger Style Action) X: Jump, Dodge (with R1+direction), Rocket Jump

L1: Overdrive R1: Lock-On L2: Explosive R2: Wire

D-pad: Select Weapon

Lady's close range weapon is a sawed-off shotgun with a much shorter range than Coyote-A. Gunslinger style actions go off of the Triangle button, except that Fireworks is spin+T, normal/combo attack shot is T, and tapping T during Gun Stinger turns it into a ground slide with a launching upward shot. Shotgun blasts can parry enemy attacks like a normal melee weapon. It cannot charge by holding down the button, but during Overdrive mode, its shots are much wider and have delayed explosions that increase the length of hitstun.

Lady's ranged weapons heat up while in use, changing their properties and eventually causing an overheat that renders them unusable. The invisible heat bar has 3 visible regions, indicated by the color of the circle around their icon: blue is cool, yellow is hot, red is very hot, and flashing a color with black means that the weapon has overheated and can't be used until it completely cools down to the very bottom of blue. Normal shots increase Heat by a smaller amount, and circle shots or special techniques increase Heat by larger amounts. Mashing the attack button faster than the attacks can come out still generates Heat for the nonexistent attacks (punishes button mashing, but also helps to build up from low heat levels).

Heat dictates the power of the weapon's attacks, so it is like Lady's weapons all charge like Nero's, and all charge automatically like Ebony and Ivory in Gunslinger mode. However, low/blue heat corresponds to uncharged attacks, medium/yellow heat is level 2 charge, and high/red heat is level 1 charge. Heat goes down over time whether a weapon is equipped or not, and Heat gauges over 50% go down faster by accumulating style points.

Thus, Lady wants to swap weapons to keep as many as possible in the "sweet spot" of yellow heat, not using them too much to redline them or too little to cool down to uncharged blue heat. Because it is so easy to put out multiple "fully charged" attacks in a row, the effect of her charge is somewhat less impressive than Nero's. (It's really more like red is level 0.75, and yellow is level 1.5 charged attack.)

Lady has 4 ranged weapons, accessible from the D-pad.

KALINA ANN II: A rocket launcher. Works almost exactly like Dante's version, but higher level rockets have wider explosions with increased knockback, serve as launchers against the targeted enemy, and at level 3 stick to enemies to explode again. Kalina Ann II can still be charged and the effect of Heat multiplies the effectiveness of charge, but not by a huge amount. Generates heat quickly.

MARVIN & TAMMY: Twin machine pistols. Lady's version of Ebony and Ivory or Luce and Ombra. S firing targets one enemy, C firing targets multiple enemies (Twosome Time, Rainstorm, etc, but switching targets automatically). Holding down the button results in continuous fire that increases the heat gauge. The bullets can juggle airborne enemies, deal more damage and stun with Heat, and at level 3 bullets are incendiary, lighting enemies aflame for minor but stacking damage over time. Generate heat slowly.

DIANA: A weird laser crossbow thingy. A de-Deviled version of Artemis from DMC3. S fires a laser bolt. Holding S increases the lock-on targets, and firing against multiple lock-on targets increases the heat gauge by the same amount as shooting one. C shoots slow-moving energy orbs. Holding C detonates the orbs to deal more damage, and circle-C fires an Acid Rain storm from Lady and a much smaller one from each orb. Energy orbs deal damage on collision with enemies and continue to move through them, and normal Artemis shots fired THROUGH orbs deal greatly increased damage (and the seeking aspect tries to be lenient about routing through an orb before turning in midair). Higher charge levels increase the number of orbs out at once and the number of lock-ons. Orbs stay out when switching to another weapon and increase the damage of other shots that pass through, but not by as much. Generates heat at a medium rate.

TYPHOON: A massive .600 Nitro Express revolver. A smaller version of the Spiral anti-materiel rifle from DMC3. This huge revolver was designed for half-demons to use, and normal humans would shatter their wrists from firing once -- Lady uses a mechanical brace and holds it with both hands. S fires implosion rounds that stagger, break guards, and suck enemies into each other increasing effectiveness with heat level. C fires piercing rounds that penetrate right through enemies and ricochet around, and heat level increases the number of times this can happen. Each enemy pierced increases the damage of the next shot. Holding S or C puts Lady in a manual-aim mode like Tomboy + Blue Rose with a corresponding increase in power. Back + S or C "fans the hammer", spraying fire wildly, greatly increasing the heat gauge, and knocking Lady back. Forward + S or C is a slow-aiming shot to a weak point with greatly increased stagger and either a much wider implosion radius or a guaranteed extra ricochet. Can't be used in midair without Wire Snatch. Generates heat at a medium-high rate.

OVERDRIVE: Lady is a full-blooded human and does not have a Devil Trigger mode. Instead, she has an experimental cooling system that is activated by pressing L1 and governed by what is basically the same thing as the Devil Trigger gauge, expanded by Purple Orbs, refilled by White Orbs. During Overdrive mode, all of her weapons fire faster and all have the level 2 effect regardless of their heat gauge. When a weapon would overheat during Overdrive mode, it instead consumes some more of the Overdrive gauge.

EXPLOSIVE: Tapping L2 basically emulates the function of Lady's Devil Trigger replacement in DMC4SE, consuming bars of Overdrive to toss grenades in front of her. The longer the button is held, the more grenades are thrown, in a wider arc. The power of this move is toned WAY down from DMC4SE and now serves mostly as a "break away" measure. Lady can drop grenades at her feet to break out of grabs like Dante can do by activating DT or Nero can by activating Break Away, but it takes at least 3 bars that are consumed instantly to no other effect.

WIRE: Lady has a grappling wire like Nero's, on its own button instead of tied to Kalina Ann. Back + R2 on the ground against a movable enemy performs Wire Fling, where Lady anchors herself to the ground and and attempts to fling a grounded enemy upward or airborne enemy downward and smack it into another enemy without moving herself. R2 in any other circumstance does a Wire Snatch like Nero, but since Lady is lighter and doesn't have devil force, she always moves toward her target instead of bringing it toward her.

Pressing an attack button during the Wire Snatch flight performs a special aerial attack: Shotgun has her perform a point blank shot on impact. Kalina Ann II launches an explosive that detonates when she lands, blowing her away in a backflip. S with Marvin and Tammy slows her approach as she unloads into her target, while C has her twirl about and spray every enemy but her target with fire. Diana fires a batch of lock-on bolts into the target upon landing, firing more bolts the longer the Wire flight was, and then slides away a moderate distance. Typhoon has her arc over the target, fire straight down into them, creating a large implosion effect and landing a little bit away from the target on the other side. The damage increase for heat level on these attacks is greater than normal.

Ricochet from enemy to enemy, blasting them and flying off. Bunch them up with implosions then knock everything apart with explosions. Set everyone on fire so the enemies you aren't attacking still take damage. Dance around to make sure your Diana orbs are between you and your target. Keep swapping weapons to maintain as many as possible in the "sweet spot" of the heat gauge. If a boss gets sick of you sniping it, fling yourself into its face, shooting wildly and bouncing off, or just deliver punishing shotgun combos at close range.

[jenroseyokel]

Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read. 

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone 

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;) 

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

[emiline-northeto]

As part of fan fiction writer appreciation day, I am taking a leaf out of @cassiopeiasara ‘s book and I have made a post of some of my favorite fics. To narrow things down a bit I’ve gone with either smaller fandoms, less-common pairings, or genfic that I particularly liked.

There are no Worst Witch recs here I’m afraid - the process of trying to whittle down the list to a small list was too daunting for trying to get this post finished for today.

Recs beneath the cut.

With the exception of the rec for The Remains of the Day (which I explain in more detail below) all of these recs are in the K-T range, going by the AO3 rating system.

Doctor Who – Genfic

Horton, the Elephant Who Waited by wshaffer; 11th Doctor

wshaffer wrote a 1200 word fic completely in Dr. Seuss-style rhyme about Horton meeting the 11th Doctor and it’s utterly delightful.

Bus to Strathclyde by The_Plaid_Slytherin; 9th Doctor

A ficlet about Nine meeting six-year-old Donna that time that she took the bus to Strathclyde. Short, sweet, and entertaining.

Murder She Wrote – half gen, half unrequited Michael Hagarty/Jessica Fletcher because let’s be honest he’s been in love with her since the moment he saw her in season 2

Tidings of Comfort and Joy by Lucy Gillam 

Years after the end of the show, Michael Haggarty shows up in Jessica’s life again. Supposedly by chance. Supposedly doesn’t want anything in particular. Jessica thinks he’s lying. (She’s right).

Rosemary and Thyme – Laura Thyme/Rosemary Boxer

Just Two Florists at a Wedding by Wine Through Water 

This is established relationship and Laura’s daughter finding out about Laura and Rosemary being together. It’s sweet and funny and includes Laura’s daughter demanding to know what Rosemary’s intentions are.

Of All The Trees That Are In The Wood by Cerberusia. 

Rosemary invites Laura to spend Christmas with her. Rosemary has some awesome lesbian friends (extremely well-written and charming OCs) who end up helping Laura see that she really is in love with Rosemary. Slow burn, because Laura is so clueless.

Planting Seeds by phantom listener 

This is a lovely bit of pre-ship Laura/Rosemary in which they manage to get into even more trouble without a murder case than with one. It’s charming, cozy, quite funny and in the best spirit of the show.

Rosemary and Thyme – Laura Thyme/Richard Oakley

Dandelions and Pimpernels  by by_no_one_more_than_me (Lady_Cleo) 

Laura/Rosemary is my OTP for this show with one exception, and this fic is it. In the episode The Invisible Worm there is a professor at a school who falls head over heels for Laura and without spoilers there is something that happens between the two of them at the end of the episode that I always wished someone would write a follow-up fic about, and then Lady_Cleo did, and did a magnificent job at it.

Sense and Sensibility – Elinor Dashwood/Colonel Brandon

Christopher and Elinor by Mercy

Part 1

Part 2 

Part 3 

This is an epistolary re-write of the entirety of Sense and Sensibility, in which Elinor and Colonel Brandon end up together. It’s one of my favorite Elinor/Brandon fics, because I love epistolary stories, because it tweaks the other characters in ways that don’t feel like a huge departure from the novel, and because it takes place over such a long period of time there’s plenty of time to develop the Elinor/Brandon relationship.

Thor Ragnorak: Bruce Banner & Valkyrie brotp

I brought a knife to a gunfight by paperclipbitch 

Set between the end of the movie and the first post-credits scene, it’s Bruce and Valkyrie brotp, and I don’t think I can summarize it better than the author, who put it thus:

“I have questions,” Valkyrie says.

“I don’t want to answer them,” Bruce replies.

Avatar: The Last Airbender – Iroh/Ursa

Thy Brother’s Wife by AzarDarkstar

I read this on fanfiction.net originally and was delighted to discover while putting this list together that it’s now on the AO3. This is a quiet, but evocative piece in which we glimpse into the life of Ursa, and that of Zuko, through the eyes of Iroh. This is mostly a very lovely unrequited/possibly mutual pining piece – we never see things from Ursa’s perspective. There’s no infidelity, and it’s surprisingly canon-compliant.

The Remains of the Day - Miss Kenton/Mr. Stevens

I love this book, and the Merchant-Ivory film version, and as much as I love the way the story originally goes I also desperately ship Miss Kenton and Mr. Stevens.

thisiszircon, who used to be on LiveJournal but is now on Dreamwidth (the name links to the stevens/kenton tag on their dreamwidth) has written the best Miss Kenton/Mr. Stevens fanfic I’ve found anywhere and I can recommend all of their stories. Thisiszircon really understands the characters and does slow burn like nobody’s business. And a bunch of the fics are really quite long, which is a delight.

A number of the fics are in first person but I don’t actually find this to be a problem because a) they’re very well done, and b) the book itself is of course in first person. Some of these stories are R/M rated but all the ones I have read have taken a long time to get to R/M, are quite obvious about when they’re going to head into that territory, and you can either stop there if you want or scroll quite a bit past and then just carefully scroll your way back up until you’re at a point that makes sense, if like me you avoid sex scenes.

Common Ground (Part one can be found here) is one of my favorites - it takes the book scene (from the movie), alters it a little to open up the possibility for more dialogue, and settles you in for a long, slow burn. Common Ground is rated R but it takes quite a long time before it gets to R territory, if I recall correctly. 

[caitspodcastlist]

Other

99% Invisible

99percentinvisible.org

From Radiotopia

Caitlin's rating: 5/5

"99% Invisible is about all the thought that goes into the things we don’t think about — the unnoticed architecture and design that shape our world." -99% Invisible website

Aside from Phoebe Judge, Roman Mars is probably my favorite podcast host. He is so talented, and 99% Invisible tells so many interesting stories that as soon as I listened to my first episode (Squatters of the Lower East Side), I was hooked. There are so many things around us that we neglect to notice, and Roman Mars gives us all a chance to learn more about our surroundings. This podcast helps you stop and smell the proverbial flowers. Favorites of mine:

The Trials of Dan and Dave (57:01) - In 1992, Reebok had an ad campaign with two decathalon athletes. Super interesting. I've asked several people if they remember it (not old enough myself) and most of them say yes, so it's amazing to see how much of a lasting effect this ad campaign had. The power of advertising! This is a 99% invisible/ESPN 30 for 30 episode.

The Pool and the Stream (34:46) - Swimming pools changed skateboarding.

In the Same Ballpark (29:34) – The evolution of baseball parks in America. I love love love this episode.

Squatters of the Lower East Side (30:32) - People were illegally living in NYC and eventually came to own the places they were staying in basically by relentlessly defending their residence. POSSESSION IS 9/10 OF THE LAW.

Curious City

wbez.org/shows/curious-city

From WBEZ Chicago

Caitlin's rating: 3/5

"[Curious City's] mission is to include the public in editorial decision-making, make journalism more transparent and strengthen multimedia coverage about Chicago, the surrounding region and its people (past or present)." -WBEZ website

Again, a hit or miss for me, probably because I don't live in Chicago. Listeners send in their questions about Chicago (e.g. Where does all the poop go?), and Curious City answers them.

What Happens to the Lincoln Park Zoo Animals in the Winter? (5:39)

Chicago Bathhouses: More Than a Century of Sanitation, Sex, and Sweat (13:37)

What Happens to "Number 2" in the Second City? (9:03)

A Lot You Got to Holler

design.newcity.com/a-lot-you-got-to-holler-podcast

From Newcity Design

Caitlin's rating: ??

"The podcast explores Chicago’s singular history of architecture, design and urbanism, with an emphasis on pop culture." -Newcity Design website

To be honest, I never listened to this one, but it's on my list because it sounds like a Chicago version of 99% Invisible.

Love and Radio

loveandradio.org

From Radiotopia

Caitlin's rating: 3/5

"Love and Radio features in-depth, otherworldly-produced interviews with an eclectic range of subjects, from the seedy to the sublime. You’ve never heard anything like it before. New installments are added monthly." -Love and Radio website

Love and Radio is interesting because there's very limited narration. The story starts, and you basically have to figure it out as it goes on. I've liked the episodes I've heard, but it hasn't hooked me like some of the other shows. Recommendation:

Relevant Questions (46:05) - Polygraph expert helps people cheat the system. This is the same guy who is in the polygraph episode of This American Life mentioned above, but not the same broadcast.

Snakes!!!!!!!! (33:48) - Guy self-immunizes with snake venom.

A Girl of Ivory (42:16) - Polyamorous relationship with an unexpected twist.

Part Time Genius

parttimegenius.show

From How Stuff Works

Caitlin's rating: 3/5

"Every episode packs incredible research, fun-filled quizzes, nerdy interviews and a giant, head-scratching question into one superfun show." - Part Time Genius website

I don't particularly like the humor in this show, but it does have some interesting fun facts, and I definitely learned something new every time I listened. Recommendations:

Was Mr. Rogers the Best Neighbor Ever? (41:52) - BRB sobbing

What are the Greatest Things We Just Learned about Japan? (40:41) - OMG at the baseball story. That cracked me up.

How Did Putin Come to Power? (42:32) - Between this and watching Icarus, Putin terrifies me.

Is Recycling Worth the Hassle? (47:11) - Shoutout to this episode for putting me on even more of an environmentalism kick. I am especially trying to reuse plastic grocery bags now and, sadly, throwing them in the trash whenever they've finished their purpose.

What Are the Most Surprising Jobs at the White House? (43:39) - I already knew some of this thanks to Veep. :) But it was still good.

Science Vs

gimletmedia.com/science-vs

From Gimlet

Caitlin's rating: 5/5

"Science Vs takes on fads, trends, and the opinionated mob to find out what’s fact, what’s not, and what’s somewhere in between." -Gimlet website

I LOVE Science Vs! Another show with an Aussie host, this show is pleasant to listen to and always helps me learn more. Wendy interviews doctors, scientists, and other experts to back up her material. They break down the science-based evidence in a way that any audience can understand without being condescending. Favorites:

Opioids: How America Got Hooked (45:56) - Did you know that in 2016, opioids killed more people in America than AIDS did in its most dangerous year?!

The Bee-pocalypse (31:44) - Bees are dying, and you should care.

Vaccines - Are They Safe? (35:09) - Short answer: Yes.

The Rise of Anti-Vaxxers (32:24) - My eyes are rolled all the way back into my head right now.

Abortion: What You Need to Know (46:07) - Understanding the process is important, in my opinion, especially in this political climate. Don't make claims for one side or the other until you know the facts of how it works!

Strangers

storycentral.org/strangers

Formerly from Radiotopia, but now from Story Central

Caitlin's rating: 5/5

"Each episode is an empathy shot in your arm, featuring true stories about the people we meet, the connections we make, the heartbreaks we suffer, the kindnesses we encounter, and those frightful moments when we discover that WE aren’t even who we thought we were." -Story Central website

Strangers is so fascinating to me. It tells the stories of people. Usually they're stories that I can't relate to, but the people in these stories still have the same feelings that we all experience, so the stories aren't irrelevant. They're funny, they're said, they made me angry. Any time of show that evokes this type of emotion is a winner in my book. Lea's voice is soothing in the same way that Phoebe Judge's is. She talks about her personal life some, and I know that's appealing to some listeners. Personally, I'm more "Get to the story!" but that's okay. The wait is worth it. Favorites:

Franky Carillo - Life (34:39) and Franky Carillo - Life Now (29:35) - Guy serves 20 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit.

Kugel vs Khaled (37:52) - Alaa Khaled aka Alec Ledd talks about how he had to change his name to hide his ethnicity and break into acting.

Claire Obscure (57:31) -

Twelve Years On (33:44) - A refugee Somali family moves to a white neighborhood in Vermont

Eleven Up (1:07:51) - A family adopts children from another family, and then the families make plans to move in together.

The Truth (50:03) - A family divides when a member gets accused of the worst thing possible

Lex (35:06) - What do you do when you think your child is capable of being violent?

Claire Obscure (57:31) - Girl grows up with very abusive family, changes her identity so that her dad never finds her. Super intense.

The Son, The Goddess, and Leopoldo (47:37) - Guy is born into a lesbian witch coven, lives in communes with his mother, and eventually becomes an attorney.

Spooked

spookedpodcast.org

From WNYC Studios and Snap Judgement

Caitlin's rating: 4/5

"True-life supernatural stories, told first-hand by people who can barely believe it happened themselves." - Snap Judgement website

Whether you believe this kind of stuff or not, the stories are interesting and creepy. As a huge Stephen King fan, this appealed to me. The narrator, Glynn Washington, is amazing. He also hosts a show about Heavens Gate, which I tried to listen to, but it gave me nightmares about the cult I used to be in. Womp womp. Anyway, here are my favorite Spooked episodes:

Spooked: A Friend in the Forest (29:56) - Weird appearance of a boy who was supposed to be dead. Narrator is Irish.

Spooked: Lost in Time (36:37) - Two people walk into a bar that time warps.

Spooked: Final Act (35:26) - An EMT gets lost and someone who is supposedly dead helps her.

Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me!

npr.org/programs/wait-wait-dont-tell-me

From NPR

Caitlin's rating: 3/5

"NPR's weekly current events quiz. Have a laugh and test your news knowledge while figuring out what's real and what we've made up." -NPR website This one's okay. I subscribed to it so that I could prep for bar trivia (don't judge). I like that they have celebrity guests on the show. The newest episode has LeVar Burton (9:44), and I am stoked to listen to that! Bradley Whitford's episode was good, too. He's so problematic for me because I love him in West Wing, but I hate him in Get Out. Such a skilled actor.