#i am struggling to think what even causes this to be such a gendered trend
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confusedlamp · 3 months ago
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Being trans guy and switching to using the men's room is nice for gender reasons and all, but the downside is the slow realization and then constant reminder just how many men apparently do not wash their hands. ..... Why
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loakstahni · 4 days ago
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Hi roomie! You know that wives trying to lift up their husbands onto the counter trend? I think we can lift neteyam up, if not, probably just to get his feet up for a bit before we give up. Ao'nung though? Good luck trying to lift even his left pinkie up because he's built like a rock, he won't budge at alllll
Omgggg yesssssđŸ˜© I've seen this trend all over my yt shorts [I don't have tiktok bc of personal problems I've had]
This makes me wanna write a really quick little thing- so enjoy!!!❀
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Human Au! bc I think it fits the trend.
Warnings ⚠: suggestive themes, fluff, kissing, butt grabbing, reader is gender neutral.
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Neteyam
You sneak into the kitchen, spotting Your boyfriend leaning against the counter with his back turned towards you.
You giggle softly walking up behind him and spinning him around, causing Neteyam to jump and let out a surprised yelp as you hook your arms under his thighs and lift as hard as you can, managing to set him up onto the counter.
"Really?" Neteyam chuckles fondly, watching as you smirk, clearly proud of yourself.
"Yes, really." You hum, patting his thighs lightly.
"What am i going to do with you, hmm?" He hums out, cupping your jaw and making you look up at him. If you were going to be acting like you were in charge, maybe he needed to remind you who was in charge?
Ao'nung
You wander into Ao'nung's personal bathroom, seeing he was at the counter doing his hair care.
You smirk, walking up behind him and grabbing at his ass, making him let out a very extra moan.
"That was so gay." You tease, spinning him around and trying to lifting him up but you struggle, whining when your unsuccessful.
Ao'nung chuckles, hooking his arms under your legs and effortlessly setting you on the cold marble, pressing his pelvis flush against your, blue eyes looking down at your face with a knowing look.
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bookishphysicsgirl · 1 year ago
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Hello, I have a genuine question, especially for trans people since you are the most affected, regarding Harry Potter fan fiction.
I'll try to tag this appropriately so that anyone who doesn't wish to see any content regarding to this doesn't, but if it accidentally slipped through I'm sorry, just tell me what else to tag it as so it will be better blocked and I will.
Obviously Joanne is a delusional b**** and I will never be touching anything she writes or sells ever again, since it would be giving her funds to actively harm trans lives.
The only question I have is regarding fanfiction because I've been seeing many arguments about this and still can't quite make my mind up about what side is right, but the thing is none of the people I saw making statements about this were trans, so I would very much appreciate your opinion since I believe that your thoughts are the most valid in this situation.
The first argument is that HP fanfiction while not directly supporting J.K. and oftentimes going directly against her beliefs is still giving visibility to her work and ultimately attracting people to the world of HP that normally wouldn't have exactly because of the effort put in to fix the mistakes of the original text.
I think the way they put it was that she is "profiting off the free labor of the folk she despises".
I actually see how this can be true and it makes a lot of sense to me since, for example, when All The Young Dudes blew up on tik tok a lot of people who might otherwise not have done so started buying HP merch and getting it farther up in the trends, even though ATYD by itself is a very queer-positive work.
The second argument is that fanfiction is not directly supporting her and it is incredibly healing and supporting for many people struggling. Not only that it can be a platform to expose her wrongdoings and stop the fandom from becoming a home ground for hate groups.
The argument went somewhere along the lines of if a child receives the HP books from a relative unaware of all the issues and likes it and then goes looking for more content, if the fan content made by the queer community isn't there to receive them all they will be met with is people who reaffirm Joanne's toxic opinions and it could be extremely harmful to those children, especially if they are queer themselves and aren't aware yet.
I myself have gone to HP fanfiction when I was questioning my sexuality and when I was depressed and it helped me immensely to understand what was happening to me and that it was ok and normal.
Trans protagonists in HP fanfiction also helped me understand gender theory better and what might be going on in trans lives and how to be more respectful (disclaimer: I am a cis woman so I cannot speak for trans people, I am merely stating that it helped me understand).
Both of these arguments make a lot of sense to me, and I can't see which one would be more correct. On the one hand I think that stopping everyone from even interacting with fandom might be a bit extreme, on the other I can't help but worry whether that is just me creating an excuse to keep enjoying things I like.
I don't feel like I enjoy HP fanfiction for nostalgia, especially since I openly recognize that both the books and the movies were actually a bit boring and not that well written and haven't been able to re-read them since I was 12. I think it has a lot more to do with the healing factor of being able to disassociate to another world and see stories that reflect mine and see people feeling the same things I do. But I am more than willing to stop if it is in fact causing more harm than good, especially since the last thing I want is for Joanne to receive clout she does not deserve.
Either way, I just wanted to know your opinions in all of this, since as I mentioned before I've only ever seen cis people arguing about it (mostly on tik tok).
Thank you so much for reading all of this and thank you if you reply.
(note: I will not be tagging this with trans tags because I know that a lot of people can feel unsafe when met with content regarding Harry Potter)
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thousandyearphantombunker · 2 months ago
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radical feminism is inherently ableist. More so with terfs but it's baked in there no matter what it seems. From bullying men with mental health issues claiming women with hormonal issues aren't real women to claiming that mental illness is inherently super political and not just your brain being fucked up or claiming mass hysteria isn't a real mental illness or that men who have mental health issues are dangerous spoiled man children or that we're only mentally ill/disabled because capitalism and how the world won't accommodate to us and that capitalism is a result of the patriarchy and how proudly many radical feminists say they are proud to be bullies...
'if men suffer in silence why am I always hearing about it? they must either be over sensitive man babies or lying it must be a trend' or the even worse 'he probably deserved it' or anything along the lines of 'if you dealt with it for years why am I just hearing about it now'
I heard similar things about the 'me too' movement when women said they had faced sexual harassment or even got raped- its wrong either way. Women suffered in silence for years when it came to sexual misconduct because they feared how people reacted and many of them are still suffering because of those bad reactions. Disabled mentally ill or just down on their luck men suffered in silence for years because of similar reactions. Men aren't babied like you think they are, I saw how you reacted to the good doctor meltdown scene, I saw you guys claim the move Joker was gonna cause incels to rape women and cause riots. Your hatred of men and your ableism is astounding- when you hear a man is struggling with mental health issues and your immediate reaction is to belittle him and call him man child or creepy or that he's being too sensitive or become afraid of him- your parroting the same bullshit assholes said at the height of the 'me too' movement. 'its different when we do it! We're oppressed so it's okay and no longer counts as victim blaming or abusive!'- fuck off with that you guys are targeting men with mental health issues. You guys have the exact same mentality of 'grow a thicker skin' it's gross. Next you'll be saying 'pull yourself up from your bootstraps' and 'back when I was a kid I had to walk 20 miles to school'
'well we woman have repressed our anger for years and have dealt with all kinds of crap because of men! They keep talking about male loneliness but women are lonely too! Those men probably just want the right to rape women! They have no clue how much we have to deal with them and what a massive burden they are to us!"
I hear similar things when a disabled person talks about how we face genuinely traumatizing amounts of abuse and dehumanization or about how people purposely infantalize us to control and humiliate us or how we get discriminated against when we seek help - I'm gonna say it- as a disabled person I think we genuinely get the most shit regardless of gender- whether or not you think disabled men or women have it harder disabled people have to deal with so much shit- but we don't advocate for fucking violence against doctors or teachers or caretakers or able bodied neurotypical people! Y'all sound like your in a cult the same way Andrew Tate fans sound like they're in a cult.
Misogyny and misandry and the extremist paranoid transphobia especially transphobia against trans women are really the different sides of the same coin
Also if you say anyone deserves to be domestically abused yes that includes tradwives or women who have genuinely shit ass opinions then your beyond saving
Your not a feminist your a dick who thinks being a dick is a good thing
Radfems are inherently fucking ableist - I'm a women most radical feminist spaces yes even the ones that claim to be anti-terf make me uncomfortable because of this shit- y'all can say 'disabled women are still women' while attacking the shit out of the disabled community for pointing out you exclude them constantly! Or claim that we're only counted as a disabled because of 'the patriarchy and capitalism'
'being a misandrist is different from being a misogynist' okay so your a misandrist because you want women to feel safe, you want to fight against rape and having your bodily autonomy stolen from you
What part of that entails verbal abuse toward men? Or claiming tradwives deserve to get raped?
'oh well you see I'm fighting against our oppressors' by attacking them online and calling them over sensitive babies when they get emotional about it because talking about mental illness is hard? Also why are you victim blaming women who chose to be tradwives? Your misandry will always become racism misogyny ableism and transphobia
'if they get to whine about x issue as men then I get to bully them because they have no idea what we go through! And we're making sure they can't take a break from our problems!'
Whether or not you think we have a male suicide epidemic or a men's mental health crisis or think that women have it harder when it comes to ableism and mental health stigma your reaction to someone opening up about their issues should never be bullying.
I don't like JKR she's shitty and transphobic as hell from what I've heard- though I'll admit I never really looked into her actions too deeply so I don't know the full extent of her actions but I've heard y'all say shit like 'she deserved to be abused by her ex' and that shit is foul that is the most terf-energy shit I've heard. Y'all terfs don't just suck cause they hate trans people (that's a huge reason why they suck but it's not the only reason) but it's also because they police womanhood and claim women who don't fit what their definition of womanhood entails deserves to be hurt- if your anti transphobia but claim all tomboys are just self-deluded into internalized misogyny and their masculine traits are bad- your still an asshole. I guess your an anti transphobia asshole which is better than a transphobic asshole but still your gross
If you claim women who want to be stay at home mothers are traitors your an asshole
'you can't want feminine things because that's the patriarchy forcing you into a role that's inherently shameful but also liking masculine things is bad because that's the patriarchy making you hate yourself but we're also we're gonna bully you for not being feminine enough despite the we said liking girly stuff this the patriarchy talking and the fact that your masculine traits are result of health issues where still gonna antagonize you'
Radfems police womanhood and claim every woman they don't like from butches to tomboys and traditional feminine traditional women are upholding the patriarchy and have internalized misogyny and that only by fitting their definition of womanhood and their stupid standards and again a lot of their standards ableist
I hate terfs cause their transphobic yes but I also hate them and trans inclusionist radfems because of how they bully women who have health problems traditionally associated with men or bully women who have health problems that masculinize them and claim 'there not real women', how they bully disabled men, how they keep screaming that the 'not like other girls' mentality is bad while promoting it, saying women who aren't to their personal liking deserve the bad treatment they get from men (y'all isn't feminism supposed to be for everyone? Or something? But oh wait she said something bigoted so I guess she deserves death)
If your anti terf mentality stops at 'transphobia is bad' but still includes policing other women and attacking people over stigmatized disabilities
Your still being shitty. Your slightly less shitty but still shitty
Argue that ableism and mental health stigma effects women more than men, argue that the tradwife lifestyle can be dangerous
Don't be verbally abusive
Don't claim men are crying wolf about their suffering
Don't victim blame anyone ever. That includes tradwives and the men you claim are lying about their mental illness
Include disabled women in your feminism.
Include fat, anorexic, too tall, too hairy women in your feminism
Don't say shit like "Men are lonely? What what crybabies, they fucking should be." Or claim that "trusting men in even the smallest capacity is inherently dangerous and helping them will only hurt women" and then get shocked when people don't like the implication they are monsters
also again both of those lines are steeped in ableism and racism
If you hate men and wish their deaths you are not a feminist
If you dont believe everyone regardless of gender should be equal you are not a feminist
If you declare yourself a "proud misandrist" you are not a feminist
If you dont believe that patriarchy hurts men and boys too you are not a feminist
If you dont respect housewifes or stay at home mothers you are not a feminist
If you feel threatened by the mere existence of trans people you are not a feminist
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fishfinngers07 · 3 years ago
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Strawberry Dress CC!Eret
Summary:  STRAWBERRY DRESS!
Genre: Fluff
Pronouns: He/Him
Eret was wearing the dress. The strawberry dress that he had been practically begged to wear by his fans. Sure, Y/N wouldn't technically wear it and he didn't think his boyfriend typically would to, but Alistair said that it was to deliver the message "Fuck Gender Roles." Y/N had taken his boyfriend to pick up all the P.O. stuff for the rest of the stream, including a Pumpkin. For no reason.
The next day, Y/N moved all the P.O. boxes into Alistair's streaming room and shut the door behind.
Together he and Alistair's other roommates sat down on the couch and opened up Eret's stream just in time.
"Ok, so Mxmtoon is the one who convinced me like, I saw her post, I saw a whole bunch of other people getting it. I was like 'okay, I gotta get it.' I sent a sneak peak to Mxmtoon and I also showed my boyfriend, who might come on later, and they both said I looked great, so I hope you guys think I look great."
Y/N shouted to Eret's room, "If they don't think you look great, then they will face the wrath of me." and he heard a faint echo on the TV.
Eret let out a nervous chuckle and then continued to talk, "So I'm debating whether to put it on now or whether I open these boxes," he indicated to the P.O. box mail that Y/N had helped him carry home, "And put it on after that. I know everyone wants me to do the dress. Let's do a poll, let's do a poll. Let's do a quick poll, right?"
Five minutes passed and a lot of votes were in.
"Oh my God! Okay, everyone is saying now, everyone is saying now. There's 11 thousand votes for now! Not only am I going to be wearing just the strawberry dress, right? I've decided that I'm also going to be doing it with these boots that were sent to my P.O. box a couple of weeks ago. Five inch heels."
"He's going to be so tall!" muttered one of the roommates.
"He didn't even tell me he was wearing them," Y/n said and the three of them had a laugh. Not loud enough that chat could hear, but loud-ish.
"...because," Eret continued, "I think that's going to be absolutely hilarious right? I think it'll look pretty good, don't you think?"
He continued to randomly chat as the votes for now continued to rise.
"TWENTY THOUSAND VOTES FOR NOW? I'm going to need to get dressed, somewhere off the side of the screen. You guys don't want to see me in my underwear. Because I will get banned off Twitch."
Y/N felt his phone ding beside him and turned to see who it was...
He walked just outside Eret's room and waited for the next text. He heard Eret talking to his chat.
"I'm going to look fucking amazing in a little bit. I don't know how to put on a dress, in case you hadn't noticed. I generally don't wear dresses." He laughed a little. "The most advanced my clothing gets is t-shirts and jeans, except one time when I met Y/N's parents and I wore a suit and tie, but I hated that. This is what I wear all the fucking time. So, Y/N will come for entertainment and to help me into this dress, but I will also set something up for you in the background to look at, while I get dressed."
He sent the text to Y/N and he walked in...
"Hey Chat. Just out of curiosity, why am I here? I'm exactly the same as you. I don't wear dresses. My clothing advancements are more caveman than you."
"Alright, can you grab Ted, and I'll grab some heels to put him in." Y/N stifled a chuckle as he grabbed the bear.
***
"Ted's looking kinda good, not gonna lie, then there's you struggling in a dress."
"You were supposed to come in to help me, not mock me!"
"I don't know how to put on a dress, cause like you, I generally don't wear dresses."
"I don't want to break thi- this dress cost me five hundred and fifty dollars by the way!"
"So... we're not eating for the rest of the month??"
"There is soo much glitter! ALL OVER MY ENTIRE ROOM!"
"I would like to eat."
Eret continued to ignore Y/N.
"You guys ready, for the grand reveal?"
"I don't think they are..."
He continued to laugh, Y/N could tell that he was slightly nervous, so he gave Eret a reassuring smile. He smiled back.
"My heart rate is beating a little bit fast. I'm going to be entirely honest. I am a bit nervous!"
He walked on.
"Insert holy bible music!" Y/N laughed.
"I'm fucking killing it dude. I think I'm fucking killing it dude."
"Yep. The bicon is killing it. Can we get #eretdress trending please? Hey, Eret, spin around."
"Spin around? Just like, whoooo! Hehe."
He then walked closer to the camera and spoke to his chat.
"The message here, is Fuck Gender Roles dude! Anyone can wear a dress."
"I'm not wearing a dress," Y/N decides to chime in and Eret chuckles.
"...and whatever the fuck they want. Look at these boots. Five inch heels. I pull them off well."
"You can't get me into Five inch heels."
"This dress cost me five hundred and fifty dollars. This dress, and I'm probably not going to wear it that much."
"Please, dear god, please Eret, wear it the next time we see my parents!"
"But, I'm doing it for you guys, I'm doing it for a sub goal."
Time skip...
"Pose?" Y/N was getting a bit tired. He had no idea how long this stream was going to last, and Eret still had to do a bunch of P.O. box openings.
"Let's do some more poses. What are some more poses? In case you haven't noticed, I am not a model."
"But you are as handsome as one."
"Whoo!"
"Cue the old camera clicking."
"I got to be careful, because if I kick towards the camera, you're going to see up the fucking dress. That's something I've never had to worry about before. Ever!"
"Eret, you're the monarch of bisexuals put on the crown!"
"Let's put on the crown."
"Look at this, I'm vibing. The vibes are immaculate. Let's do another spin, let's do another spin."
For the rest of the stream Y/N stayed silent, watching Eret do some interesting things...
Nearly falling over while spinning
Telling chat to not send him pumpkins, as he moved the pumpkin, causing Y/N to sit in the chair instead.
Spinning a different way
Grabbing the bisexual flag and using it like a spanish bull fighter
And then wearing it with the cape.
T-posing
And then Y/N being a midget and doing a T-pose in front of Eret
Denying the WAP
And then lying about what it meant
Getting to No. 8 on Trending
Making jokes "Oh it's so hot... and not just because me and Y/N are here."
Finally, Eret finished the stream and came over and gave Y/N a massive hug.
"Thank you," he whispered.
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tarosin · 3 years ago
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the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo
requested: yes/no
an: part 6 of the great adventures series - swimming with the boys
warning: cursing
an: starts with tubbo&y/n friendship as i had an idea, sorry if tumblr messes up paragraphs again, tried to make this gender neutral i’m sorry if it doesn’t come off that way, as always anything with y/n and the others especially tubbo is platonic
twitter had been going crazy the past few days. you had been telling your community something was happening, however you weren't going to tell them what. today was the day you were going to reveal what was happening, tubbo made a tweet that he was outside, and sent you a text he was in your street and to start streaming.
you started your stream like any other stream, however this time you were streaming from your phone rather than your pc, and at a much later time. you spent 10 minutes talking to chat, making comments that someone was going to randomly walk into your room of course your chat didn’t believe you until,
“Hiya y/n!”
tubbo walked into your room and stood behind your chair leaning over in order to give you a hug. chat started spamming asking what was going on.
“well chat tubbo is here for a reason and we’re not allowed to tell you why, but we did decide to stream late for a reason. you may notice it’s getting dark outside, however we’re doing a camping stream, except you ain’t watching us sleep!”
the stream wasn't going well, you and tubbo couldn’t put the tent up, mainly because you lost the pegs for the tent. you did however have an air mattress and two thick blankets. you both looked at each other and nodded. within 10 minutes the air mattress was blown up and had a blanket laying on it, and you and tubbo sat comfortably chatting to the viewers. within minutes the pair of you were trending again, this time with pictures of you both sat together with the blanket and fairy lights wrapped around you both so that you could both be seen on stream.
“well chat it’s getting pretty late we’re going to do something for a little while-”
“STARGAZING!”
“guess we’re going to stare at the stars for a bit, then figure out if we actually want to sleep outside. we will see you all later, thank you all for showing up to this random stream. i’m gonna raid ranboo, goodnight!” you waved goodbye and tubbo ended the stream for you. a shooting star was passing, full of excitement you tapped tubbos thigh and pointed at the star telling him to make a wish. the pair of you laid on the air mattress under the stars, eventuality you both drifted asleep.
the both of you woke up to the sound of your mother telling you that you had around an hour to get ready before jack and tommy would be there. soon enough, as always you and tubbo were sat in the back of jacks car while you set off on your adventure. like normal, you all sang along to the radio, until you and tommy decided to yell at random cars that passed you, giving jack flashbacks from the time he took you and tommy to tesco and a lake. this went on for a long time as the water park was a lot further than any other adventure you all went on. “is now a bad time to say i can’t swim?”
“are you joking y/n? please tell me you’re joking!”
you just sat laughing, tubbo took this as a sign to tell the now concerned jack that you could in fact swim, you just wanted to see their reaction.
“i thought you both said you were never going on an adventure with us again?”
“you know what they say...people change like the tides in the ocean...did i say that right?”
you and tommy filmed the intro to the vlog and then you all walked into the changing room. you and tubbo went off straight away to get ready, tommy and jack instantly commented on how warm it was, then putting the blame on the lights that looked like the sky, before deciding to get ready. like the others you wore a shirt over your swimsuit, the four of you then made your way to the pools.
“holy shit!”
“what the fuck there’s no one here like at all!”
you all passed the lifeguards on the way to the pools, thanking them for their service. you could already tell this was going to be a long day for them watching over all four of you, especially because you and tommy kept joking about drowning each other.
“this is ours...for the whole day!”
you stood recording your pov whilst tommy ran into the water, the rest of you following shortly after. for a few minutes you all decided to float in the wave pool, realising that shouting you were drowning or couldn’t swim probably wasn’t your smartest idea. everything was going well till you heard tubbo shouting to you and tommy as he realised he still had his phone in his pocket.
“next vlog is going to the apple store so tubbo can replace his phone..”
whilst he went to put his phone away, tommy dragged you under the water with him and jack for a split second, and wouldn’t tell you why.
“stop tryna drown me!”
you watched as tommy struggled to climb onto the surface nearby, followed by tubbo climbing on and being pushed off in seconds.
walking up the stairs you and tommy joked about this being physically exhausting,
“you both literally did a military assault course...this is a water park for children.”
you started defending your point that this was a lot more exhausting, especially as your ankle had only just healed from the military assault course. once up the stairs you were met by a capsule, you knew this as jack kept repeating that it was one. “thanks, jack we all know it’s a capsule now!”
you stood with jack as tommy decided to go first. you couldn’t lie you were thankful he was going first as that thing looked scary as hell, tubbo clearly agreed with you as you turned around to see him nervously laughing and walking around in circles. you turned around to jack making several comments about how scary it is, “looks like something jigsaw would put you in. it even has a control thingy.”
“i was taking you seriously till you said control thingy.”
you stood as a group watching as tommy got ready to go down the slide, you were nervous for him. you stood counting down as jack waved and tubbo stood with his hands covering his face as tommy went down the slide. jack went down next and like before you and tubbo waved him off. “hope you don’t die bossman!”
it was now time for you or tubbo to go
“are you going tubbo? you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
you messed with his hair as he nervously laughed, questioning if he should go down. “i’ll go down first. if you don’t wanna go down, that’s completely okay, you can go down the stairs.”
you got into the capsule, tubbo watched nervously as the lifeguards began counting down. he waved as you were sent off laughing and screaming as loud as possible. once you were with the others, you stood waiting for tubbo to come downstairs.
you and tommy stood questioning a lifeguard about if he knew your friend george before you all made your way to the next slide, this time the four of you were carrying inflatable rings with you. you went first again, screaming due to the fact you started spinning. within a couple of minutes the others stood impatiently, waiting for you to pass them on your way near the end as they were told that they’d be able to see you go by. “oh look there they go!”
tommy went down next and encouraged you to go with him to the spinny thing he saw earlier rather than wait for the others. you agreed and made your way to the slide with a lifeguard asking him what he thought about the pair of you.
“he thinks we’re awesome y/n!”
“i agree tommy.”
the pair of you stood looking for tubbo and jack. tommy found them first and lightly tapped your arm pointing to the childrens pool, causing the pair of you to laugh.
tommy went first and you stood laughing as you heard him scream.
"just wanted to see if it was safe, you know?”
it was then your turn to go down the slide. you honestly loved it and it very quickly became your favourite slide there. as soon as you got out the water, tommy was waiting for you to go to the others. you both made your way to where you saw them last, the children’s pool.
“i am the leader of the children’s kingdom!”
you tilted your head to the side as tommy told him what he said was dodgy.
tubbo informed you all that the wave pool was on so the four of you ran to the wave pool. you and tubbo stayed together floating as the waves were rather light, and tommy bragged about you both going on the hard slide whilst they stayed in the children's pool. once tommy finally got his goggles off, he was met by you and tubbo floating. the water constantly splashing over your face and jack messing around under the water.
“y/n is drowning!”
“no, we're riding the waves.”
you looked up to notice tommy and jack constantly jumping up then going under the water shouting.
the four of you walked with the lifeguards to the next slide. tommy attempted to make conversation with one of them, however it didn’t go to plan, resulting in everyone else laughing. you stood with tubbo listening to jack joke about tommy having to sit on his lap, it was only till tubbo pointed out there was three slides.
“ill go down after you tubbo!”
“nonsense y/n you can go down with me, they can do that, right? they just have to sit in front of me and i keep them safe?”
the lifeguards nodded, so tubbo helped you get ready before the others were also ready to go down the slides. they counted down and the four of you raced down, you and tubbo made it down first. you cheered before pulling tubbo into a hug. jack came down next followed by tommy, claiming that he won the race. after arguing who won, the four of you went down again for a re-match. you and tubbo won yet again and tommy finally called it quits. you overheard tommy telling jack his face throbs because he’s ageing followed by jack getting his age incorrect
“jack i hate to tell you this, but you’re wrong hes 17 now.”
tubbo wanted to go down the spinny slide and dragged you with him, whilst the others went swimming in the other pools. you went first and tubbo followed shortly after, he noticed you waiting for him and reached his hand out to you so you could help him up, or so you thought. this was not the case, instead he decided to pull you back into the water whilst laughing. “TUBBO!”
after few minutes of tackling each other in the water, you decided you probably should find the others so they don’t think you both drowned.
“i’m not built for this kind of action, i’m made for much more relaxed things.”
“me either, wanna watch the office later with ranboo?”
“you read my mind!”
the pair of you went to go find the others. as the floor was now extremely slippery from all four of you walking around, you nearly fell several times. tubbo then made you hold his hand so you didn’t fall and hurt your ankle again, “i’m not 4 tubbo.”
“maybe not but you’re extremely clumsy...where the hell have they gone? WHY IS THERE A WATER JET THING?”
“i think they’re drowning tubbo!”
you were both told they turned up the intensity of the wave pool. you then ran to the wave pool whilst tubbo ran to tell the others. a few moments later they ran to the pool to see you floating with the waves, or at least you were trying to do that.
“think they're drowning again!”
jack swam over to you and dragged you over to the others. the four of you then swam joking about being pulled into the waves, and how you were drowning and needed a lifeguard. once the waves stopped, you stood with jack as tubbo and tommy prepared to race by running across the floats that lay on the water. within seconds they fell and you and jack bragged about how you could do better, so of course they made you both race against each other. somehow it was possible for the pair of you to do worse than tommy and tubbo as you both instantly fell.
you all made your way to the fast moving water. jack yelled to tubbo that it was rapid, this however did not stop him as within seconds he was dragged away by the water. tommy grabbed your arm and swam into the water taking you with him.
“hold me y/n!”
“you’re weighing me down bud go hold onto jack!”
tommy clung onto a bar, jack followed. you and tubbo however did not and would have continued to go around if jack didn’t grab tubbos hand, and you didn’t hold his. “HEY I'VE ALWAYS SEEN THIS IN FILMS!''
“NOT THE TIME Y/N!”
“we saved them we're heroes!”
the four of you went to the hot tub for a few minutes to relax, as the afternoon was pure chaos, and to ‘celebrate tommy and jack saving you and tubbo.' you sat laughing as tommy struggled to put his swim shirt back on and was asking jack to help him, despite jack repeatedly saying he wasn’t going to help him clothe.
not long before the final slide, you and tubbo ran off to get the double ring so you could go down the final slide together. jack found the pair of you spinning around whilst singing ‘you spin me right round baby right round like a record baby,’ you all then made your way to the final ride. tommy and tubbo bickered for a few minutes about who got to go down the slide with you, whilst you and jack just stood laughing. jack joined the conversation telling them to either pick or he was going down with you, tubbo wasn’t having this and pulled you into his chest “mine!”
“fine you can go down with y/n,” tommy rolled his eyes.
tommy and jack went down first, a few minutes later you and tubbo were sent down the slide. laughing the entire time as tubbo cheered about the fact he won. you were sat in the front, then tubbo announced he could reach your hair, and began playing with your hair. in other words you now had a tangle in your hair that was going to be a pain to get out. within seconds you made it to the colourful sections of the slide, “Y/N LOOK ITS ALMOST AS BRIGHT AS YOUR HAIR!”
“I'D HIT YOU, BUT I CANT REACH!”
the first half went well, but you ended up going backwards down the second drop.
“SHITTTT!”
once you got off the slide, tommy told tubbo he was going down the capsule slide since he was the only one who hadn’t gone down, and ended up going down the slide with you. you agreed to wait at the bottom of the slide so you could greet him when he came down, 5 minutes later you were met with a unhappy tubbo who instantly pulled you into a hug.
“YOU DID IT BESTIE!”
“that was awful!”
once you made it back, jack dropped you and tubbo off at yours. you thanked them for taking you both, and tommy told you to keep checking your discord as he was planning something. you agreed and said your goodbyes. you and tubbo went up to your room, you set up netflix whilst tubbo rang ranboo, nights like this were your favourite. you were huddled up under the blanket with your best friend, whilst on call with one of your other best friends, watching your favourite show. tubbo noticed the tangle he left in your hair and began untangling it, he went on to start playing with your hair whilst the office played in the background. hours later ranboo ended the call to stream, leaving you and tubbo to fall asleep in each other’s embrace.
taglist:
@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @c1loudee
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watcherfenix · 3 years ago
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A Vent long time coming
It feels like it has been ages since I wrote anything.  There is so much I wanna write and comment on, simply hard to pin just one idea down. So, in sticking with the theme of vulnerable journey treading and wanting my experiences to help someone out there. I am going to decompress the last years and possibly go into more at a later date. I have been in limited contact with people for close to 3 years. This is due to moving to a new country compounded with COVID, which killed many attempts at being social. Coupled with that polite racism of Canada and recovering from a very traumatic breakup, have been in a low place. Also, in transition for a work visa which has been slowed due to COVID. Depression and PSTD make leaving the place is a chore and a constant mental battle. I was able to do a year of college in a small-town university. Learned a lot and nothing all at once. Learned about myself. Learned about my own Blackness (and still learning). Of course, this caused me to look at my life experience through a new lens as if pages have been restored in a tattered book. Seeing how my old, colonized self parroted some toxic garbage and did some” ignorant passable shit “that I wished I had never said or did. Angry at my parents for trying so hard to “protecting “me from my own Blackness. Leaving me under-prepared for the world I was going to be a part of. Instead, my father tells me as an adult, I am ungrateful and “raised by wolves,” and I told him I hated him. Pissed that he presented his side of the family as dangerous, volatile and “ghetto” and that being gay and black was asking for a short life in the family. Causing me to be averse to wanting to meet them.   But with time, I will be able to accept “all of me.” By learning another country’s history, I realized I was on the wrong side of history. Referring to my time in the military and playing a role in destabilizing the Middle East (something the US military has quite a long track record of doing). This affects me in a couple of different ways. First, being a part of pain and suffering on such a grand scale goes against who I believe. Secondly, knowing that it is a family legacy (father being a weapons contractor after being retired Air Force and had a few generals in the family too). Lastly, I lost friends and a lover to the machine known as the military-industrial complex. And knowing that the government is getting worse makes their deaths sting a bit more than I care to admit. Thinking about my time in the military fills me with bittersweet memories now tinged with some guilt and shame. While I had stewed in these thoughts for long periods of time. Slowly getting comfortable with these truths. Only to be slammed with the ugliness that is America’s racism. Seeing white friends during BLM and all that led up to it go silent or worse, shit on the idea of BLM. Gay community leeches off black culture while making claims of being inclusive makes me want to rage cry. Seeing so much Racism and colorism in communities I used to call these spaces, my home is now quite repulsive . I was hoping for too much, wanting my communities to be supportive. Genuinely supportive, helping people because it is right, not causes it's trending.  Wish POC communities would stop internalizing and perpetuating hate and start lifting each other up. Instead of determining “blackness” and gender roles. It has been absolutely heartbreaking to see so many people passing in such a short time frame. I am reminded of my older friends sharing their tales of the AIDs crisis and survivals guilt. I feel weird knowing these people for a while online, just too sudden.. they are gone. I develop a connection with these people but feel I cannot claim it because other people that knew them spent time with them in real life. Deep down, there is a feeling that my connection is less than because I am unable to meet these people. I do not fully subscribe to this idea, but every time another FB friend or friend dies, it comes to my mind. And I honestly do not know what to do with it. Though the thought of friends that have pass makes me feel things. I cannot help but mourn the relationships lost because of my selfishness, drugs, or toxic relationships before people I called my family. The concept of family seems and feels so foreign to me now, yet I still hunger for one.  My parents and sister's relationship was polarizing and taking a toll on my mental wellness.  But cutting ties with them does not make me feel better. Sure enough, feel guilty and ashamed because of some internal nagging feeling I needed to try harder to work things out. Must remember why I had to cut ties with them. I had to, being with them caused me so much emotional and spiritual pain, I would later choose homelessness than ask for their help again. Yet, I still love them just do not want them in my life or do not want to share my life with them anymore. Does not make processing the loss of my bio family any easier. It does feel more correct than sticking with them. I wish I were a better friend. I often feel like a failing friend. I regret missing so many chosen family life events. Missed both of my brother’s weddings a few people’s graduations. Burned a lot of bridges protecting people that were later discovered to be trash. Wish I could send messages to say I am sorry. Just feel too much has either happen or too much time has gone by to bring it up now. The feelings and thoughts build up so much that it stresses me out and becomes intrusive thoughts shaming me out of evening trying. And having been burned by so many shitty relationships, feel less like... me. More like a by-product of all the lessons I learn. A by-product that is very wary of trying to make new friends or form new relationships. To be honest, I struggle with who I am and have been struggling with my self-image for three years now. So, trying to attempt new friendships seem out of my depths. Trying to be compassionate and kinder to myself 
. when... I feel I need to be better and stronger than average. Sadly, I am my own worse jailer and serving life sentences for things that I just do not know why anymore. My brain gets so loud feels like my brain is grated with sandpaper. Depression, shitty world events, insomnia and PTSD, have caused me to disassociate to the point time has no meaning to me and staying in the moment is getting harder to do. Battling the idea that this is a dream or this reality is unreal. I really dislike being dissociative like this, reminds me too much of when I was doing meth and how quickly the time went by and how time was filled up with all other manners of things. Also reminds me of the time I almost cut myself to discern between reality and dreams. Grateful I have my husband to keep me grounded. He makes me smile when I am down. Somedays, he is the only thing keeping me here. My mind is full, and my heart is heavy. The road is long and the burden heavy, but I will be moved forward in some way. Thank you for your time, love
Fenix
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lakesbian · 9 months ago
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#and like#I’m following you and I enjoy your thoughts on worm#and want to see more of the animorphs liveblog#but it’s getting harder to care when you’re an ass about it#which is no skin off your back#I’m under no illusions as to how important my one random follow is#but I’m also sure I’m not the only one who would enjoy engaging more if they didn’t want to deal with being called stupid#and I’d imagine the point of a liveblog is for discussing and engagement most times#yeah#that’s my thoughts
yeah that's fair. thinking it over i don't think it's inaccurate to say that there are a lot of subjects i Do outline considerately, even if i think it's obvious--e.g. the ask about fatphobia in wb novels i answered a bit ago--but when it comes to the issue of, as with the other example you raised re butch scorpia, attitudes re gender non-conformity and like. gender and sexuality in general in primarily lgbt spaces (like fandoms). i think i severely overestimate how obviously incorrect or rooted in shitty rationale certain trends or ideas i find to be insidious are, to the point where i struggle to imagine that anyone perpetuating them isn't perfectly capable of looking in the mirror about it and has just, for whatever reason, elected not to. which this chain very much demonstrated to be a stupid ass assumption, because when someone asked questions about what i was assuming was bare-minimum-no-shit stance wrt portraying gender non-conformity and bisexuality, it did in fact take hundreds of words to explain the underlying train of thought to her. & i'm sure it would also take hundreds of words to really delve into the why and how of the scorpia-as-butch issue. i am, for the record, the type of person who would respond fine to 'that's stupid as hell, because' so long as the Because is sensible (i'm extremely consistent yeah) but it's not gonna be productive with 99% of people, no. & what the level of derisiveness i've been directing wrt the subject assumes isn't proportional to how severe the things i'm criticizing are in terms of material impact (microaggressions at worst) nor likelihood of someone believing them (it's more complicated to actually unpick bit by bit than i thought it was before being given cause to lay it out). so yeah, i should stop being an asshole about it, because being an asshole abt something is only justifiable if the thing in question is proportionally morally worse & willful. thanks for pointing it out i will strive to be kinder on the puter and think more carefully about if something is actually as obvious or severe as my first instinct is to assume. also re your tags i think "one (1) follower" applies more to like...actually massive accounts being unfairly scrutinized and monitored, given how conversational i am on here and what a small community it is i think it's both reasonable and relevant for someone following me to say this, because we may as well be at the same extremely book-fixated house party
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I love fanon Alec, I don’t remember canon anymore. I’m here for the fics.
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justabitbelowaverage · 4 years ago
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Tik Tok's Problematic Mental Health Community
Gatekeeping is a staple of any large-scale community. However, I think most of us can agree that one place it really doesn't belong is the mental health community. Unfortunately, that's exactly what we're getting from Tik Tok on a daily basis.
TW's: Swearing, mentions of mental health, mentions of trauma, mentions of abuse
Let me just start by saying, I'm not shitting on Tik Tok as an app. I love Tik Tok, you love Tik Tok, everyone loves Tik Tok. My main focus is on the mental health community both making videos and commenting on them. And of course, not everyone in the community displays problematic behavior and it wouldn't be fair of me to lump them all together but, while I should say, “the toxic side of the mental health community on Tik Tok", I'm going to just call it “The Community” a lot for simplicity's sake.
In all honesty, I do my best to stay away from the mental health side of Tik Tok simply because I'm there to vibe with the cosplayers and hype up my friends, not really to be educated or do any educating. HOWEVER, when I do get a video that relates to mental health, I tend to go down a rabbit hole so I’ve definitely seen enough content to notice the dangerous patterns.
So, without further long winded exposition, here's the top three problems with the mental health community on Tik Tok:
1. Highschool Cliche Mentality
This is also known as black and white thinking but I think you'll see why I prefer to refer to it differently. You know that scene in Mean Girls where they're walking through the cafeteria and pointing to all the different cliques at the tables? That's how The Community views the world.
Yesterday, I saw a video on my For You Page that was basically someone getting irritated about someone saying they experienced trauma because their mother took their phone for the day.
Obviously, they used an example that's meant to seem like an experience that can't be traumatic. When I looked to the comments, there were a fair share of people saying that comparing trauma is wrong but there were even more comments justifying the video's message. Because it was just an example of something a “popular white girl would say for attention.”
Anyone can be depressed. Anyone can be traumatized. Just because someone mentioned something that happened to them that seemingly dulls in comparison to what you have experienced, does not give you the right to say that it wasn’t traumatic for them. Not to mention the fact that they may be testing the waters with how much they can open up to you about.
The Community likes to pretend that people who seem to have their life together or have a similar attitude as the high school bully in every teen coming of age movie ever means that they can't possibly have mental health struggles of their own without it being made up for attention.
Invalidating mental illness is exactly what we should be against and yet, The Community insists on pushing this narrative that they are the ones spreading the word so they are helping people. In reality, they're making people feel even worse about themselves and are potentially doing far more harm than good by basically saying certain people aren't allowed to feel depressed or anxious.
No matter the skin color, background, wealth, sex, gender, or what have you, ANYONE can have mental health problems. Even the people who seem like those popular cheerleader cliches on the outside.
2. “Breaking” The Stigma
The stigma around mental health is something we all want to go away, of course. But there's a slippery slope when you start saying, “People with [insert mental illness] don't actually act like that.”
It kind of overlaps with the High School cliche mentality. For example, I saw a video that basically showed someone with anxiety whose hands didn't shake on camera because they weren't faking it for attention like half the other people doing the “trend” of holding their hand in front of the camera.
As someone with anxiety whose antidepressants cause hand tremors, this was a very toxic statement to make. Do all people with anxiety shake? Absolutely not but saying that nobody who actually has anxiety has hand tremors and if it seems they do, they're faking it is creating a new stigma.
In their efforts to break the stigma surrounding mental health to make people outside The Community understand, they are inadvertently making people in The Community questions themselves. It reminds me of when people say that pink isn't a feminine color. Of course it isn't but does that mean that no female on the planet likes the color pink? No.
Mental health is a spectrum and there are no right or wrong symptoms to experience. It’s different for everyone. Just because you are a girl who doesn't like pink, doesn't mean no girls like pink. Just because you are a person with anxiety who doesn't shake, doesn't mean no people with anxiety shake.
3. Over Diagnosing
Here's the part where I word everything wrong and make myself look like a complete hypocrite but here goes. I think that mental health should be diagnosed by a professional but of course I don't think that invalidating someone entirely because they don't have pill bottle with their name on it is right.
That said, not liking the way a certain fabric feels does not always mean that you are on the Autism spectrum. Having trouble focusing does not always mean that you have ADD.
There's these Tik Toks out there that do a, “Put a finger down" game where you put a finger down if you have certain symptoms and will unironically say that if you have more than 6 fingers down, you have BPD.
The most egregious example of this was a video saying that if you put 5 or more fingers down then you had/have an abusive parent. One of the criteria was, “Put a finger down if your parents have ever given, 'because I said so' as a reason.”
Could a parent who is abusive have said that? Of course. Does that phrase alone make someone an abusive parent? No way in fresh hell.
You’re only confusing people by saying that it does and it isn't helping anyone.
So in conclusion, the Tik Tok mental health community is not a reliable source of information but for the record, neither am I. In the end, this is just my opinion and while it's based on facts, it is my interpretation of the facts.
The community's gatekeeping and narrow minded attitude are what make it a toxic communtiy and the worst part is that in the process of attempting to help mentally ill people, they're making a lot of people feel far worse.
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mexicancat-girl · 5 years ago
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Ok guys, I can't take it, I’m seriously at my limit here.
Uraraka vs Bakuboi was a sham of a fight and none of it makes any goddamn sense.
Uraraka deserved her win, for multiple reasons.
Shout out to @bnhasalt, who’s post reminded me how indignantly furious this arc makes me.
More under the cut over both how salty I am, and how Uraraka losing against Explodo Kills makes absolutely no sense, even narratively.
(Warning ahead for a discussion on sexism, misogyny, forced fanservice, the blatant favoritism towards That One Specific Character even if unearned in the narrative, and the general incompetence on how to write female characters.
I call B/kugo “Bakuboi” in this analysis bc I don’t want to write his Actual Name out and have it pop up in his character tags. Also, heads up, I’m sorry for how messy and long this rant is )
First, can I just say that Horikoshi is uhhhh Bad at writing female characters?
Which I’m sure many female fans already have an inkling about, but goddamn is it never more obvious than in the Sports Festival Arc. Because hey, at least the female characters are THERE and PARTICIPATING and have their own time to shine! This ISN’T one of those arcs that just stars THE BOYS, so that MUST mean this arc is equal opportunity! Right...?
God, I wish. I wish...
See, the girls are the minority of the Sports Fest in general. It shouldn’t be this way. And quite frankly, the fact that the classes (and UA in general) isn’t closer to being a 50/50 gender split also makes no sense, considering all children are raised in a society that values heroism EQUALLY and almost half the population is male and half female.
But, okay, let’s say I actually believe in the most illogical character ratio imagineable of there being a 2 boy to 1 girl, like this is another round of Naruto But It’s Superheroes So It’s Different I Swear.
We all know that there is going to be an emphasis on Izuku, since he’s the protagonist and he wants to make All Might proud during the Sports Festival.
Pre-Festival, there’s the reveal that Uraraka wants to do her best, with her main motivation of becoming a hero to give her parents a good life. Iida also wants to make his own family proud, specifically his brother, because of his family legacy. 
Since these three are a trio, you’d think they’d all get some time to shine, right? Since they’re Izuku’s friends? And Izuku considers them his equals?
Yeah, no. Wrong.
This arc is dominated by Izuku, Shoto, and Bakuboi. That becomes clear very quickly. 
I knew I shouldn’t expect much, since these three are powerhouses and also the most popular characters of the entire franchise (just look at the popularity polls) but still. I’d thought at least Uraraka would get a chance to shine! Since we get some character development and motivation revealed from her!
But the female characters in general get done so dirty this arc, despite it being first set up as a perfect arc to let the girls have just as much opportunity to participate as their male peers.
The most significant part of the female characters all getting an ‘equal time to shine’ is when He Who Must Not Be Mentioned and Kaminari trick the girls into dressing as scantily-clad cheerleaders. Which is both Tiring and Unncessary.
(This scheme also shouldn’t have worked because Momo is Vice Rep and she is an intelligent girl, top of her class. She would be smart enough to go to a teacher and actually double-check to see if Class 1-A girls really needed to cheer in the activities portion of the Sports Festival. 
But noooo, Horikoshi can’t pass up a chance for FANSERVICE and forcing his underaged female characters to be uncomfortable for The Funnies! Thanks! I hate it!)
The female characters that move onto the final round of the Sports Festival, and thusly have the most attention, are: Uraraka, Mei Hatsume from Support, Momo, Mina, and Shiozaki from 1-B.
Wow, I sure wish these girls could like...show their worth. And maybe NOT get steamrolled and easily tossed aside in their matches because they’re facing Boys and Boys Have Strong Offense-based Quirks, That’s The Rules Folks.
(Before you come at me, I know that isn’t a rule that applies to every single male character in the series, but the strongest and offense-based Quirks tend to go to the male characters, while the female characters tend to get more support-based Quirks. It’s both sexist, but also an inherent trend in media in general. Please Just Let Women Punch Shit To Smithereens And Control The Elements.)
Yes, Mina and Shiozaki won their first rounds easily! And that’s great to see! But then we turn right around, and they're eliminated just as quickly in their second matches! Without even a fighting chance!
Good God, Shiozaki is literally PUSHED OUT OF THE RING. That’s it, that’s how she lost. Same thing with Momo in her match! And Mei straight-up forfeits because her character is based more on advertising her inventions/babies, so she doesn’t even fight.
So essentially, the female characters are shucked away if they’re not used to make the male characters look good, or there for fanservice, or there to show a shallow form of ~feminism~ so Horikoshi can pat himself on the back and say “See! Girls strong! I can write girls!”
And now we get to the meat of things: Uraraka.
Oh, poor Uraraka. Out of all the female characters, your potential was the greatest, and also the most squandered...
As a reminder, at the start of the arc, Uraraka speaks with both Izuku and Iida about how she wants to do well in the Sports Fest. They all promise to do their best. Izuku’s friends admit that they want to face him in later matches, because they want to be his equals.
Uraraka wanted to stand on the same level as Izuku and Iida, but she's the only one that doesn't move on past her first match!
And man, what an absolute bogus match it is.
Is it emotional? Yeah. Did I tear up when I watched it? Sure, every single time! But that's more because Uraraka is one of my favorite characters and I feel empathy for her and thought she deserved better.
The match gets to me because I also hate how Bakuboi is so fucking entitled and gets everything handed to him on a silver platter.
Bakuboi himself is written as, essentially, a Gary Stu. He always wins. ALWAYS. And even when he ‘loses’, he still manages to beat his opponents to the point that they need to be hospitalized (see Izuku vs Kacchan pt 1) or he makes his losses ALL ABOUT HIMSELF by twisting logic to fit his own narrative.
Remember how Bakuboi won against Todoroki in the final match? And was so pissed at him he was ready to Physically Assault Todoroki for him not being able to Get Over His Trauma to go 100% during their match? And even though Bakuboi LITERALLY won the entire Sports Festival, he’s so entitled that he demands a rematch because he feels like he “didn’t actually win”?
Not wanting a rematch for Todoroki’s sake, because Todoroki has been through a rough time and Bakuboi overheard Todo’s Tragic Abusive Backstory. Oh no, that would make too much sense and show too much character growth, we can’t have that! Bakuboi, even when winning the Sports Festival, demanded a rematch because he wanted to beat the shit out of Todoroki AGAIN to assert his dominance.
You see, Bakuboi is always rewarded in the narrative. Even when he loses it’s not seen as his fault. He’s never really punished for it, and he never learns any lessons from his losses.
Ah, and let’s not forget, Katsuki Bakuboi has the Best And Strongest Quirk Ever. Strong enough to even do the impossible and work to his advantage when it shouldn’t!
Like how he SOMEHOW manages to ‘beat the odds’ by breaking the laws of physics to win in Round 2. He manages to PUNCH THROUGH A QUIRK THAT CREATES A SOLID WALL from 1-B’s Tsuburaba in order to get back his team’s headband and move on to Round 3.
Or hey, his finishing move, Howlitzer Impact? Doesn’t make any sense either. It shouldn’t work as a...cyclone? Tornado? Drill thing? 
Look, the logistics of it shouldn’t work. Yes, this is anime, but do you HONESTLY think that a teenager YEETING himself in a fast spiral will somehow accomplish anything more than spreading out some explosions in a circle around him? You honestly think any other character would be able to pull that bullshit off WITHOUT upchucking their entire lunch?
But because it’s Bakuboi, it works somehow. Because Bakuboi’s Quirk is The Shining Beacon Of Quirks. 
Drawbacks? Sure, he SUPPOSEDLY has them. They’re noted in his character profile and everything. But very rarely do those supposed “drawbacks” ever actually come into play and actually, like, stop him. Or slow him down. Or, yknow, ACTUALLY WORK LIKE DRAWBACKS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK.
Because apparently, human limits don’t exist for Katsuki fucking Bakuboi, nope, not at all!
One of Bakuboi’s "drawbacks" is supposed to be that he can't overexert himself or he can fuck up his wrists/his forearms will start to ache. 
Cool cool cool, except...This rarely slows him down or effects him at all. 
It’s actually astounding he hasn’t given himself Carpel Tunnel, because that would be a natural consequence to over-using his Quirk. Hell, he should be fucking up his arms almost as much as Izuku does to his own arms with a destructive Quirk like OFA! Explosions are dangerous and cause massive destruction, and that should be fucking up his arms SOMEHOW!
But, nope. Bakuboi is as fresh as a goddamn daisy. He can Never Have A Weakness.
(Another drawback is cold weather/Winter season is supposed to weaken his Quirk. Makes sense, since heat would help him produce more nitroglycerin sweat, and the cold would make it hard to sweat. But that sure as hell didn’t stop him during the Joint Training Arc in the future, and he didn’t struggle whatsoever to almost singlehandedly win that for his team.)
Not ONCE does Bakuboi’s Quirk ever effect him negatively and forces him to weaken! He keeps using his Quirk like it's nothing!!
And that’s the crux of the entire problem with Uraraka vs Bakuboi’s match.
Bakuboi apparently has “drawbacks” and “limits”, but he keeps somehow managing to break them without a sweat (ha) and without consequence, essentially PULLING WINS OUT OF HIS ASS.
Bakuboi was using his Quirk LITERALLY NONSTOP during Round 1, and kept using it to throw himself around in Round 2. Logically, he should’ve fucked his arms up and been at the very least SLOWED DOWN by the third round of the Sports Fest because he went past what were SUPPOSED to be his Quirk’s canonical limitations and logic!
It would've taught Bakuboi that he can't fucking steamroll through all his problems! He has limits! There are consequences to over using his Quirk! He’s a human being and he doesn’t have endless stamina like some sort of God!
Hell, every other character has these limits very clearly shown and outlined with their Quirks! Uraraka throws up when she over-uses Zero Gravity. Shoto, before using his fire side, would get frostbite. Iida’s Engines will stall after using Recipro Burst.
The other characters have limitations to their Quirks that slows them down, shows consequences for their actions, but Bakuboi NEVER HAS ANY.
THIS is why he’s a Gary Stu. THIS is why he won his match against Uraraka.
Not because of any logic. Because HIS QUIRK HAS NO FLAWS. And on top of that, THE NARRATIVE KEEPS REWARDING HIM, EVEN WHEN HE HASN’T EARNED IT.
Bakuboi SHOULD have been weakened from using his Quirk non-stop. Bakuboi SHOULD NOT have managed to pull out that “one final big explosion” that ruined Uraraka’s final attack.
Bakuboi was literally hissing about his arms hurting earlier, before their match started. And Uraraka forced him to use his Quirk so much that she managed to amass a ton of debris to knock him out and win the match. HIS EXPLOSIONS SHOULD HAVE SPUTTERED OUT, AND NOT SAVED HIM WITH THAT LAST-SECOND ASSPULL.
Like, I’m preeeeetty sure the entire reason Horikoshi wrote Uraraka vs Bakuboi in the first place was because he was attempting at writing Feminism.
See, Bakuboi Hates Everyone Equally, he’s not a violent misogynist for beating up Uraraka! It’s a Match, he Respects Women And Sees Them As Equals! The Crowd of Pro Heroes are the ones being Misogynistic and Judging The Match Early!
And look at Uraraka, she’s a Strong Woman! She keeps getting back up! That’s the Shonen Spirit! And she’s smart, too! Look at her amazing plan to win--
Oh, wait. Wait, nope. She didn’t win at all! :) Because our shining beacon of perfection Katsuki Bakuboi never loses!! :)) Look at all her hopes and dreams being blown to literal smithereens, because of Bakuboi’s ass pull, even though he shouldn’t have had enough time, sweat, and strength to muster up that last explosion!!! :)))
Can ya’ll feel my incandescent fury right now?
Because Horikoshi can NEVER write Bakuboi losing, Uraraka COULDN’T HAVE WON, even if her winning makes THE MOST LOGICAL SENSE.
This scene was supposed to show Uraraka’s strength. But it feels like Uraraka is being literally spit in her face, for even DARING to TRY to win against Katsuki fucking Bakuboi.
How much more impactful would Uraraka’s breakdown have been, if she had moved onto the Second Round with Izuku and Iida? How she would feel ashamed that she couldn’t keep up with them, with how Powerful their Quirks are? Especially after seeing Izuku and Todoroki’s amazing match, and seen how destructive and close a match it had been?
How DEVASTATED she would have felt, beating BAKUBOI--one of the strongest of their class!--and then STILL managing to lose the Sports Festival?
That would have been SO much more interesting! And even SADDER!! C’mon!
Uraraka SHOULD have won her match! It would’ve provided both character development for herself, and for Bakuboi! Bakuboi would realize he has limits to his body and Quirk, and realize not to underestimate his opponents! Uraraka would realize that she’s strong in spite of her Quirk not being necessarily combat-oriented, but still has a long way to go in being a Pro Hero!
But, nooooo. We can’t have CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, can we? We ESPECIALLY can’t have THE FEMALE CHARACTERS IMPACTING THE PLOT IN SOME WAY, either! Or--what’s this? FEMALE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY HAVING THE SPOTLIGHT FOR ONCE? Perish the thought!
The only good parts about this godforsaken arc are 1) Mei Hatsume 2) Hitoshi Shinso and 3) Izuku vs Todoroki fight and Todoroki’s Tragic Backstory Reveal. Everything else is hit-or-miss, if not completely hot garbage.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk, and for reading this entire thing! Four for you, reader. You go, reader.
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hvilested · 4 years ago
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Infatuation Is a Temporary Illusion: How to Escape the Pain
LucyJul 14, 2020
As a neuroscientist, I am fascinated by infatuation; it's such a strong, mysterious phenomenon, yet is entirely scientifically-explainable.
This Too Shall Pass
I will start this by saying that however deep and impossible your situation feels, you will leave this infatuated state. There will be a day when you can think about this special person without any type of pain or passion. You will remember how strongly you felt towards them while they didn't have the same feelings for you, and it will seem completely crazy that you were so stuck in limerence.
Albeit cliché, the concept that time is the only thing that will make you feel less magnetically drawn to someone who you cannot be with is true. You cannot magic away these feelings, because they are a strong illusion created by chemicals in your brain. Over time, your neurobiology will balance out again and this person, who is acting as a potent stimulus, will no longer inspire the same physiological response in you. Thinking about your situation scientifically helps, as it steers you away from thinking in terms of romance and delusion.
What Is an Infatuation?
Are you currently struggling with huge, incredibly deep feelings for someone that you will never be with? We use the term 'infatuation' (also limerence) to describe the state of being utterly enamored by and obsessed with someone; it is the wildest thing that a human can experience in the sober, baseline state. The invisible pull that you feel will seem so novel and colossal in strength that, if experiencing infatuation for the first time, you will be certain that you will 'never feel this again', and that this person is 'the one'. After all, your body and mind react so strongly and surely to them that it is impossible to imagine a life worth living that doesn't have them at the center of it. This is not the case, as you will experience several infatuations in your life if you are prone to them.
Due to differing genetics and brain chemistry, some people are more prone to entering limerence than others; in fact, some will never experience this roller coaster of euphoria and insecurity. Unrequited crushes are normal and not too much of an issue; unrequited infatuation not only encompasses incredibly powerful attraction, admiration and a general feeling of 'love' towards the subject, but is also agonizing and depressive by nature.
If the infatuated cannot be with the person that they desire, they will likely enter a deep depression and will feel completely out of order for weeks or months, until the feelings fade or they gain closure. Irrational thoughts and misery normally accompany this rollercoaster experience, as well as physical symptoms such as elevated libido and lack of appetite (due to an excess of dopamine in the brain).
Is It a Normal Crush or an Infatuation?
You may wonder how we can define things as vague and fluid as romantic feelings. However, the line between a healthy crush and a problematic infatuation is not as thin as it seems. Crushes can be unwanted and painful, bringing ups and downs into our lives, but a true infatuation blows a crush out of the water. If deeply infatuated with someone that you cannot be with, you will think irrational thoughts such as 'I want to die - X isn't in my life and everything else makes me miserable'.
These thoughts are falsehoods, for the world is so open that you will definitely encounter other people (as well as places, music and even fashion trends) that you find fascinating.
If you are simply experiencing a romantic crush, you will find the person very appealing and may intensely want to date them, but there will be less feeling than there is in limerence - less hormonal influence, less joy, and less crying. The highs will be less euphoric, sure, but the lows will not be nearly as crushing as those experienced in the limerent state.
The difference between a crush and an infatuation is that the former allows you to enjoy the warm feelings and be in control of your emotions, while the latter is extremely unhealthy and causes the sufferer a lot of pain if they cannot be with the person they desire. A crush may feel very strong and you may want to act differently to charm the subject of your feelings, but it will never be as delusional., destructive and fantasy-based as a true infatuation is.
So, how does one differentiate between the two? In short, if you feel so distraught that you cannot be with the person that you are googling for solutions, crying before bed and upon waking, losing interest in activities that you normally love, struggling to imagine a future without the person in your life, you are definitely infatuated and not crushing. If you treat this emotional conundrum as if it were a drug addiction, you will stop feeling this way in a matter of weeks or months.
Why Do People Become Infatuated in the First Place?
Most people go through their lives organically forming healthy 'crushes'; even when not actively seeking a partner, they will encounter a few people a year that will grab their attention and seem irresistible. After all, this is biologically advantageous; we are mammals and are meant to pursue, and eventually reproduce with, those that we deem physically and emotionally intriguing.
Having said this, I will clarify that your sexual orientation is totally unimportant in your ability to develop all-consuming, raging feelings for someone. This level of feeling is just as prevalent between people of the same gender as it is between those of opposite genders. However, we are wired to pursue, bond with and care for other human beings for the sole reason of reproduction and the survival of our species. If someone is infatuated with someone of the same gender, they will experience the same concoction of erratic emotions as a straight person. Neurochemical changes will temporarily dominate your life regardless of the perceived likelihood of the passing on of your genes.
infatuations
Rupi Kaur
What to Do? Understand That Your Feelings Are Scientifically-Explainable and Never Permanent
The wild array of feelings that come along with any form of attraction may seem intangible and wondrous, but they are caused by altered levels of different neurotransmitters. Focusing on the science behind such a strong human experience is crucial in dealing with the pain that it can cause you.
Reject dwelling in the infatuation too much. It's incredibly tempting to spend hours writing and lamenting about the subject of your "love", only to enter an even more heightened state of delusion. Even if this isn't your first infatuation and you saw that you got over your last one, remember that, naturally, you will be convinced that this person is the one and that you are ruining your life by missing out on being with them.This is nonsense and is your brain tricking you!
The best way to avoid falling into this nauseating, fantasy-driven loop of obsessing and fantasising and despairing is to understand the science behind this crazy human experience.
It is also incredibly comforting to know that unrequited infatuation very rarely lasts for more than 6-8 months, and often will fizzle out incredibly suddenly and much earlier than this. This is because infatuation is neither logical nor grounded at all. It is so, so ephemeral by nature; one day you will look back at this period of your life and it will seem like a wild but distant dream. Trust me on that one.
However, to break this person-addiction habit and ensure you never, ever cry over unrequited love again, you'll need to dig very deep and be committed to recovery. Your external world is a mere reflection of your beliefs and what you allow to imprint itself into your subconscious mind. By meeting your psychological needs healthily and treating unhealed wounds, you will become completely, 100% immune to infatuation/limerence. Potential partners will sparkle to you, make your heart sing and you'll be able to transition into real relationships with them instead of you manifesting unrequited love and crying spells. I promise you this.
infatuations
Feeling Something Intensely Doesn't Mean It's Permanent
Don't get confused and think that, just because you feel such strong passion for this person, your feelings will 'last forever' and you will 'never get over them'. For some reason, when us humans experience something intense or profound, we do what no other animals do and we introduce a poignant aspect of eternality to the situation. It's a huge logical fallacy to think 'I feel strongly about X, hence I will ALWAYS feel this way', yet we all do it. Our tragic flaw is, in many ways, that we are aware of time and the future and cannot simply live in the moment and deal with whatever strong feelings we are experiencing as they come and go.
If you think about, a large part of your pain is that you feel that you won't ever have a happy, fulfilled, exciting life without this individual. After all, they've inspired so much energy in you and you haven't felt this way with anyone else before. The truth is that, no, your infatuation will not last long and will certainly not be permanent.
Infatuation has a shelf-life because it is based in the fantasy and reality cannot maintain it. It is such idealisation and irrationality that, once the real world creeps in and you become aware that your feelings are unfounded and inappropriate, they will naturally dissipate. It is for this reason that couples who feel 'infatuated' often become bored after around 6 months. They aren't experiencing that surge of initial attraction or the wondrous mystery that their partner made them feel when they first met, because they were simply infatuated then and didn't really know their partner.
What Does It Mean If You're Prone To Infatuation?
Being a neuroscientist, my attention has been drawn to the fact that those of us who fall into infatuations are 1. prone to this state (experience it over and over again until they learn precisely how to treat the root cause, even if each "episode" feels novel and "different this time"), and 2. we are people who feel things very intensely.
Now, I am aware that virtually every single person on this planet feels certain things strongly and irrationally, but a limerence really is at the top of the scale in terms of intensity, especially since mental illness is usually thrown into the mix. Nearly every single person who I have seen who has fallen into a deep infatuation has been on the spectrum for severe depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD) or OCD (meaning, they could obtain a psychiatric diagnosis for one of these illnesses).
I don't want to scare you; I am a firm believer that we all sit on spectrums for most mental health conditions, and that there should be no fear or taboo enshrouding this type of information. Many of us could be diagnosed with different things and obtain certain psychiatric labels, but I don't think we should strive to do this unless our mental health is affecting our quality of life extremely negatively. However, I do have to tell you: infatuation at its worst is not neurotypical.
If you tend to live your life emptily, only motivated and made to feel emotion by unobtainable people who you think can make everything okay, then you are most probably mentally ill (by society's definition, at least). If your self-esteem was moderately high and you were mainly mentally healthy (no depressive episodes, no propensity to obsession, no episodes of mania) then it is highly unlikely that you would fall into an illusion so controlling as infatuation.
As I have mentioned and will continue mentioning in this article, infatuation is a deceitful trick. It's your brain's way of latching onto something that could, in theory, make you happy and take away all your troubles. For this reason, if you are infatuated with someone, you are not happy with your current life. You might want to tell me "I am happy and confident, this person is just so special/beautiful that I need them", but that statement would be yet another dopamine-driven delusion.
If you are prone to infatuation/limerence:
you have a lot of love to give to people, whether platonic or romantic (this is a blessing). I suggest that you utilise this in the healthiest possible way and focus on solidifying strong, platonic friendships. You won't feel the high of infatuation and attraction, but you won't experience the horrible lows either, and you will be immensely satisfied because you'll form close bonds and feel understood by people who want to be in your life for genuine reasons, other than desire.
as mentioned above, you are probably mentally ill in some way, and could most likely be diagnosed with OCD, depression, anxiety, BPD, or bipolar disorder. Don't let this scare you. A diagnosis would just be putting a label on what you've felt your entire life.
you will fall into more of these miserable infatuations if you do not treat the root-cause, which is unmet psychological needs and limiting beliefs regarding yourself and your worth. Don't let them shape your months and years, and don't let your life be a string of feelings for different people with you making no advancements in your own life. Even if you don't feel sound enough on a psychological level, force yourself to make friends, to exercise, to work and to read books. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you actually make new brain pathways and *escape* this hell.
you're very prone to fantasising about ideas, people and concepts that could, in theory, help you "escape" the current life or situation that you are in. Use this to your advantage - it just means that your brain is prone to creating dopaminergic pathways to motivate you. Currently, you're motivated to get this person into your life, but you can use this mental tactic to enjoy other things intensely, like academics, hobbies, pets etc. Become obsessed with another country, and make it your mission to learn the language fluently and move there within the next 8 years. Grab onto something other than a person that sparks your interest and get you thinking "my life would be amazing IF ...", whether it be the idea of gaining muscle at the gym, redecorating your house or writing a novel. Some would advise against this, but I have evidence to prove that it's a healthy way to cope with a propensity to idolising people. Hobbies/pets/languages/exercise won't turn you limerent, so obsess over them instead.
unless you work hard on yourself to recover from this susceptibility to falling hard and selflessly for people, your partners will never be on the same page as you. They will never love you as fiercely as you "love" them, because they will never be consumed by someone in the way that people consume and fill your existence. This may fill you with sadness but is reality; the fact that you have developed the behavioural pattern of limerence isn't their problem, nor is it something that many people will relate to. Wishing for someone to fall for you in this lovesick, bittersweet way is going to align you with reactive, toxic people who are generally unstable and enmesh with you too quickly.
the best comes last: you can become immune to infatuation/limerence! You'll need to do a lot of research on how to attack your subconscious mind and alter your brain's fundamental wirings, but it's surprisingly simpler than it sounds and the only path to complete emotional freedom.
infatuations
Rupi Kaur
Yes, This Is Just One of Your Many Phases!
Live in the moment and deal with any false, irrational thoughts like 'this will last forever'. Every time you think that, correct yourself and remember that you're feeling something very strong and unpleasant, but that's all it is and in no way does this equate to any form of permanence.
You can feel things strongly without them lasting forever! I don't know why we, as humans, struggle with this idea so much. There are so many sensory afflictions that come and go. For example, think of a terrible illness where you're vomiting constantly and can barely walk. You feel like you're never going to feel well again, but days later, you bounce back. The illness is just a faint memory that doesn't even inspire much emotion in you. Similarly, sometimes we come across music that we love and then can barely stand to hear it a month later.
We, as humans, go through many phases in our life. Phases are definitely valid life experiences, but find comfort in their ephemerality! This boy or girl is a phase in your life, albeit an intense one. One day, you will look back and associate them with whatever music you're currently listening to, the clothes you're currently wearing and the way that you feel. That is because those aspects of your life are also a phase. This person won't make your heart skip forever. If you take one thing from this article, let it be that. You won't believe me now, but there will come a time when you don't care who they date, and their name won't even stand out to you in a list. Human emotions are weird, huh?
Remember: You Love Your Brain's Chemicals, Not This Person
Unless you are experiencing a healthy crush within reality (just attraction and the feeling of connection), your infatuation is a result of an unhealthy dopamine reward circuit that your brain has essentially created as a survival mechanism. You are so depressed/unfulfilled/lonely that your brain knows that real life isn't offering much for you in terms of incentive to live, so it creates its own happiness in order to temporarily relieve you from unhappiness, nihilism and lack of focus.
Infatuation is the brain making its own fun through a 'fantasy bond'. Your brain provides you with a sugary high full of wonder and hope and promises for the future, and then when real life doesn't follow the illusion (e.g. when the person unsurprisingly doesn't devote their entire life to you because they have their own life/feelings), you will experience the consequent crash. There is a duality to every strong psychological experience, and what goes up always comes down.
Mocking yourself slightly and realising that your brain is 'glitching' in this way is imperative. Tell yourself, "I love dopamine, not him/her!". If the attraction wasn't there, and you knew their personality inside out, would you still 'need' them? It's almost impossible that you would. You might love them in a genuine, affectionate way, just like some elderly couples love each other after years of commitment, but it wouldn't be delightful and euphoric, nor would it be what you're craving now.
Find comfort in the above. If you find yourself thinking "I've met him at the wrong point in my life, we could have grown old together etc." remember that the romance wouldn't feel like this for more than a few months anyway. Yes, maybe if you had met this man in 5 years time you'd date and then marry him and be happy (in the stable sense of the word, with no thrill), but the truth is that that's not even what you want. You want to be able to act on the passionate feelings that you currently have, and for those to last forever, which is why the supposed "missed connection" is so tragic and hard for you to cope with. The thing is, as I've explained, the sheer concept of living with them forever and feeling this way with them forever is a fairytale that your brain has created.
In short: your brain has messed up here, and is misunderstanding the situation. We are animals at the end of the day, and our bodies function to promote survival, often not bothering about our feelings. If your life is lacking authenticity, excitement and motivation, your brain may work to ensure the survival of your genes by creating its own goals. Don't listen to everything that your mind is telling you and try not to crave the highs that it is offering you!
Neuroscience: What Causes Infatuation?
Understanding the science behind this turbulent experience is crucial, and is the only way to think practically without being nihilistic and numbing yourself to your feelings. This area of neuroscience is fascinating, as it deals with human experiences that seem so spiritual and magical that it's hard to believe that they are caused and controlled by relatively simple chemicals. However, a handful of neurotransmitters control all aspects of your mood and mental health, and therefore can explain every thought and motive that an infatuation will cause you to experience.
1. Dopamine is the 'pleasure chemical', and relates to euphoria, addiction and craving. It can also inspire goal-based behaviour, e.g. wanting to save money to plan an elaborate trip, or, more relevantly, wanting that "perfect life" with someone you have recently met where you two are alone and free, revelling in each other's happiness. When you first fall into infatuation and you cannot imagine happiness with anyone else but this individual, it is dopamine acting... and boy, is dopamine a powerful neurotransmitter! It gives us momentum in life and quite literally drives humanity, but in the case of infatuation, it is a delightful yet dangerous substance.
When noradrenaline is also released, the two neurotransmitters can undergo a reaction and produce not only an elated mood, but also focused attention, hyper-activity and loss of appetite. All of these changes can be witnessed in the "lovesick"; you develop tunnel vision during these biochemical changes. You are greatly inspired by anything to do with the other person, and bored at the rest of the world, for it all seems so dull compared to the object of your passion. While noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter and adrenaline a hormone, the two contribute synergistically to a racing heart and the novel excitement associated with love.
2. Serotonin is low when you are infatuated, which is counterintuitive, as high levels of serotonin are also commonly associated with "lovey-dovey" feelings. In fact, taking ecstasy causes a great release of this neurotransmitter, and depression is caused by low levels of it. However, the infatuated brain shows the same low serotonin levels as someone with OCD, which explains the obsessive nature of infatuation, and hence why you should avoid romanticizing your state and realize that you are essentially mentally ill while in the throes of this level of passion.
3. Adrenaline activates stress responses in the body, and is involved with the physiological signs of infatuation. It activates the levels of other hormones like cortisol, which all activate the sympathetic nervous system in a cascade-like manner, causing trembling, sweating and an increased heart rate.
4. Oxytocin is released during intimate acts, cuddling and other forms of close, trust-based contact. It is slightly different to the others, as it does not directly cause "infatuation". In other words, it does not contribute to the insanely powerful passion that one feels while infatuated. Rather, it adds to the experience by increasing the sweet feelings of trust and fondness. For this reason, it is also extremely important in relationships after the infatuation and hence the craving (caused by dopamine) wears off. If the people in the relationship do not possess adequate amounts of oxytocin (and vasopressin), it is unlikely that the relationship will last once they have passed through the drugged-up stage of infatuation and are suddenly aware of each other's flaws.
I urge you to think about the science behind your feelings, as it will help you rationalise what you feel. Allow yourself to cry but don't let yourself romanticise this 'missed connection', because it was never there in the first place. Your neurobiology has temporarily gone awry and taken control of your feelings, but this level of misery cannot and will not last.
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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years ago
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Speaking about disability in fiction, would you say Toph from a:tla is one of the best written disabled character? Is there anything that could've been improved about her character?
DEAR FUCKING GOD do I love Toph.  I would humbly submit to have Lady Toph “The Blind Bandit” “The Runaway” “Greatest Earthbender of All Time” “Inventor of Metalbending” Beifong harvest my organs to achieve eternal life if such a thing were possible.  There are a ton of things that Avatar: the Last Airbender does really well when characterizing Toph, and a few I wish they’d done differently.  [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]
Is she one of the best-written disabled characters?
She’s certainly a damn cool character whose disability informs but does not define her.  I can’t really say if she’s “the best” or one of, because I haven’t read everything, but I can say that I really like her.
First of all, her story is intersectional AS FUCK.  Toph’s gender, her disability, and her social class are so inextricably linked that there’s no analyzing any single element in a vacuum.  She’s all about being tough and independent.  Partially that’s about being underestimated because of her disability.  Partially that’s about being commodified because of her gender.  Partially that’s about being privileged due to her upper-class upbringing.  All three interact to inform her identity.
“Tales of Ba Sing Se” shows that blindness bars Toph from certain aspects of femininity — she can’t perform the traditional motions of making herself up, attracting young men, being pretty and delicate — which causes her to embrace a more accessible masculine identity.  “The Runaway” shows that Toph enjoys femininity as well as masculinity, but that she struggles to build nurturing relationships when she’s concerned with appearing weak, and that that sometimes leads her to cross ethical boundaries.  “The Chase” and “Bitter Work” are all about how Toph values her independence above all else — because she’s had to struggle against her gender and disability influencing others’ perceptions, but also because she’s had the privilege to avoid helping others due to her social class.  In “The Ember Island Players” she loves being represented by a big tough strong man, but she also clearly associates masculinity with power in a way that becomes troubling when contrasted with Aang’s horror at being played by a woman.  Etcetera.
Even the whole Earth Kingdom’s role as a sort of middle rung of imperialism – less powerful than the Fire Nation, more powerful than the Water Tribes and Air Nomads — informs both the relative strictness of its gender roles and the ability of individual Earth citizens to subvert those roles.  Toph’s identity, like the identities of the other Avatar characters, is inextricably linked to her position in society.
Secondly, Toph has a lot of the features of a complex and agentic character, and her disability is neither ignored nor centralized.  She’s often right, as when she becomes the first person to trust Zuko and the only person capable of making Aang an earthbender.  She’s often wrong, as when she tries to justify theft with a “they started it” argument or belittles Sokka for being a non-bender.  She’s often somewhere in between, as when she chooses to let Appa get taken by sandbenders in order to protect her friends or gets into screaming matches with Katara over matters of procedure.
There’s also the fact that Toph interacts with certain environments differently based on her blindness, drawing attention to (in)accessible aspects of those environments the others wouldn’t have necessarily noticed.  She finds sand and wood flooring inconvenient, she hates navigating water and ice, and she initially avoids walking on metal.  Although she’s not a big fan of flying, she mostly adapts as long as her friends actually remember that she can’t navigate when they’re on Appa’s saddle.
When conflicts do occur with the environment, Toph puts the onus on the environments and on other people to adapt or help her to adapt.  She’s amused and annoyed when Sokka tries to fake correspondence between her and Katara, or stupidly asks why she doesn’t like libraries.  She rips the bottoms off of her shoes.  She calls attention to her inability to do things like scan the ground while flying when her friends are at risk of forgetting.  She plays into others’ assumptions to try and get onto ferries or get away with breaking the law.
Another thing I like: the art style for Toph avoids the trap of “draw sighted person, change eye color, call it a day.”  She doesn’t turn to face people most of the time when she’s talking to them, but also doesn’t seem totally clueless as to their relative locations.  She gets the lay of the land by stomping her feet or pressing a hand against the ground, not turning to “look” in various directions.  She doesn’t bother to keep her hair from blocking her eyes, because her bangs don’t interrupt any sight lines.  She’s neither a comically blind character who apparently can’t navigate at all with sound or touch, nor a dramatic “blind” character whose every action comes off as those of a sighted character.  Toph repeatedly mentions that she doesn’t get the value in sight, clapping back at the assumption that of course she’d want to be nondisabled.
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[Image description: A screenshot from “The Chase,” which shows Toph shouting at Katara, with her face turned away from Katara.  Toph is pointing in anger, making it clear that she’s addressing Katara and that she knows Katara’s location relative to herself based on Katara’s voice.]
One last small but important victory for Avatar: it passes the Fries Test.  It has two or more disabled characters — I can explain why Zuko counts as disabled if anyone’s not sure — who survive to the end of the story without being cured, and who have their own narratives rather than existing primarily to educate nondisabled characters.  As a bonus, they have at least one conversation with each other about something that isn’t disability-related.  The Fries Test is meant to be a minimum standard for representation, much like the Bechdel Test, but it’s still nice to know that Avatar passes.
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[Image description: A screenshot from “The Ember Island Players,” which shows Zuko and Toph sitting on the floor in a hallway of the theater, talking about the play and about Zuko’s uncle.]
Is there anything that could’ve been improved about her character?
If I ruled the world, or at least the Avatar writers’ room, I’d start with two changes.  One’s small-ish, one’s big and controversial.
The small-ish change: tweak Toph’s narrative to make her earthbending super-abilities less directly counter to her blindness.  As it is, she has shades of a superpowered supercrip: a disabled character from SF whose superpower primarily acts to nullify their disability, thereby giving them the lived experience of a nondisabled person for most or all of the narrative.  Toph is definitely not an egregious example — she’s not Daredevil, who can use his superpowers to read handwritten papers, navigate unfamiliar environments, “feel” colors, detect tiny gestures, and shoot guns.  She does embody experiences with blindness like disorientation when flying and frustration with hanging posters.  She just also has several instances of not experiencing blindness when she (as she puts it) “sees with earthbending.”  I’m not sure what that tweak would look like, precisely, but I’d like to see one all the same.
The bigger change: I’d cast a different voice actor.  Jessie Flower is, based on what little I can find on Wikipedia or IMDB, not blind or visually disabled.  Disability rights activists are right now fighting hard against the trend of “cripping up,” wherein nondisabled actors use mimicry or makeup to pretend to have disabilities on TV and in the movies.  Avatar doesn’t go that far, because it doesn’t have Jessie Flower onscreen in (for instance) contacts that mimic blindness.  However, it nevertheless does not cast a blind actor for the role.  The issue here is that disabled actors are almost never allowed to play nondisabled roles
 and disabled actors are also almost never allowed to play disabled roles either.  By failing to find a blind voice actor, the show denied that opportunity to a less-privileged talent.
The Guardian compares the issue to the way that cis actors of the wrong gender are too-often cast in trans roles, men used to play female characters onstage, and white actors used to play black characters in American movies.  I never know how much those comparisons make sense, because among other things they completely ignore intersections of those identities.  But I also think that it’s sometimes the best way to help people understand why excuses like “but it’s haaaaaaarrd to find blind female actors of Asian descent” don’t hold water.
And here’s where I go from “slightly controversial” to “extremely controversial” and might have to enter Witness Protection.  Avatar is getting a live-action adaptation in a few months.  I predict that it will cast a nondisabled actor to play Toph.  And I predict that the same voices which (rightly!) raised such a cry against “racebent” white actors playing Aang and Katara will be completely silent on the topic of “abilitybent” actors playing Zuko and Toph.  I’m saying this on Tumblr partially to get this statement out there:
I am an Avatar: the Last Airbender fan who will ONLY support the live-action show if it casts disabled actors to play disabled characters.
I’m saying it partially because I hope to be proven wrong, either because a blind actress will be cast as live-action Toph or at the very least because Avatar fans will object when a sighted actress is cast.  I’m also saying it because I think that fans can and should protest responsibly when marginalized voices are erased by beloved works of fiction.  Will casting a blind actress require more “work” to make the set accessible?  Probably.  Will casting a blind actress perhaps necessitate more CGI for fight scenes than using a sighted one?  Maybe.  Will it be worth it to cast a blind actress anyway, so that a girl with the lived experience of Toph can portray her on screen and actually get the chance to break into an industry that bars most blind girls from participating?  YES.
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starlit-mansion · 4 years ago
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Since i'm fallen london posting, i am genuinely so curious as to what level of aromantic inclusion they're going to have in mask of the rose, because they kind of talked about it in the kickstarter. If they didn't say ANYTHING about it, i wouldn't be like "i cant believe they left aros out of the romance sim :/" but i wonder if you will be able to select up front that you want to be able to flirt and have sex but your character is not going to be falling in love with anyone, or if there's just a blanket "platonic only" option.
Regular fallen london is an interesting beast in that the actual experience of playing it is that you can have a ton of no-strings sex and there's very little in the way of meaningful romance you can do, but also the culture seems to place a huge priority on LOVE LOVE LOVE, all stories are love stories, it's the most and only important thing. It's kind of interesting to me to think about what it's like for aro people in this setting, but like... i've noticed a trend in the writing and in the fandom to handwave off anything but a narrative in which every variety of personal identities (except class struggle and the politics thereof) never cause any issues at all in London proper, which is understandable but also not super interesting to me.
And like, I myself am a very friendshippy aro who is very interested in deep emotional connections (which is why it took me so long to tease out that i even am aro and what that means and why i was so repulsed by a thing that seemed like it should just be just a step over from where i was at), but i've encountered extremely little rep overall of what aromantic life experiences look like. If nothing else, it seems like a culture where it would take a while to find the words to put to your lived experience, where it would be easy to identify as several different things before you realize who you are (i.e. the "i'm equally attracted to all genders so i guess that's my orientation.... oh wait, the amount i am attracted to them is 0" experience).
I just wonder what will actually get into the game, intentionally or accidentally.
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thegrandkinghimself · 4 years ago
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who is oikawa tooru?
i guess that’s a weird way to start off a post, considering just how popular oikawa is in this fandom. i’m absolutely certain that he’s still one of the most popular characters if i can take the #oikawasear trend on twitter a couple of weeks ago seriously. (i will be mourning that iwaoi is no longer the top ship in this fandom. it’s devastating to me on a personal level). and i can’t say that i’m any different, either, otherwise i wouldn’t have made this blog or this post. but i guess the reason i’ve been itching to write this is because i’ve been in this fandom--and more specifically, a fan of oikawa--for about four or five years now. i devour the content available, and i can assure you that i’ve read too many of the fanfictions on ao3 to be healthy, and never before have i seen a character whose characterization is so hotly disputed. 
and i get it. he’s a complex person. he’s kind of awkward in that there is a very clear disconnect between his outward personality and who he is alone. it’s a very hard balance to strike, especially when you consider just how much conjecture goes on in his characterization among fans and in discourse. he’s really easy to project and certain traits, correct or otherwise, are amplified based off how authors perceive him. there’s plenty of presumptions that can be made based on his on-screen actions/thoughts/beliefs that can be taken to some very logical conclusions. 
but i’ve also seen people write him in ways that don’t strike me as particularly truthful. he’s type casted into stereotypes that don’t do him justice, or made into something that is vaguely like oikawa, but not quite. in the following post, i’ll be trying to dispel misunderstandings of his character, if only for my own sanity. 
tl;dr i think that oikawa is chronically one of the most misrepresented characters in fandom and i want to fix that
exclaimer: i am solely an anime-watcher; i have seen snippets of the manga and therefore have a general idea of what is going on.
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let’s establish some very very basic stuff. just to keep it simple, i’m not going to talk about anything beyond what has been published via the anime (as of season four). 
Oikawa Tooru | ćŠć·ćŸč 
gender: male
d.o.b.: 1994.7.20. or 20 July, 1994
height: 184.3 cm
weight: 72.2 kg
occupation: high school 3rd year, class 6
position/number: setter, 1 (captain)
here’s something that’s never pointed out: oikawa is in class 6 which, if we go off the trend of every other school in haikyuu!!, means that he is in a college preparatory class aka he’s pretty dang smart. it’s not confirmed or anything, but it a. follows the trend of every other class 6 student and b. is the highest class available among seijoh 3rd years (classes 5, 3, and 1). don’t get the idea that he’s dumb or unintelligent, or even that his strengths only lie in the classroom because that would be a gross understatement of his skills.
anywho. 
generally speaking, i like to start with the building blocks of his personality because there’s so much room for assumptions. here are the things that i think make up his core personality:
intelligence/knowledgeable: not only academically speaking, but he’s also well-versed in people. he knows how to play them--what will make someone more confident, more doubtful, what will help his teammates succeed. clearly, oikawa is very knowledgeable in human thought patterns. or he’s dedicated a lot of time to knowing them. 
loyalty: of all of oikawa’s traits, i think this one gets talked about the least, but we know it to be true. we make jokes about “you should have come to shiratorizawa” but it really shows you exactly how loyal, how much trust, oikawa has in this team that he has spent three years shaping. he never stops believing in the work that he has put in, and especially the hard work that his teammates have put into their volleyball. 
hardworking: one of the most well-known things about oikawa. most fans already know that his white knee pad is actually a knee brace. ‘nuff said. i salute you, good sir. 
insecurity: oikawa’s insecurities are perhaps his most notable trait. in a sense, he’s sort of the underdog--so good, but never quite good enough to accomplish what he’s set out to do. and we know that he’s struggled with his doubts since junior high, literally since he was 12 or 13, and that’s informed all of his character from the moment he ran into ushijima. oikawa is someone who is defined by his insecurities. 
oikawa is a lot of things. he’s introduced as someone who is very flamboyant--he’s built up by kageyama as the best setter, his senpai literally and figuratively, his initial shots are all of smug smiles and easy, unfaltering swagger in the face of this new team. even his theme, all rambunctious brass and jazzy, is meant to be all in your face, here’s the big boss! he’s someone who is petty and silly and seems to favor shallow conversation. but he’s oikawa, so there’s a surprising amount of depth in the little time that we have with him. there’s a reason that, in any other franchise, he’d probably be the protagonist.
he is someone full of contradictions. he’s childish and he spends time with a bunch of girls and is very clearly someone who likes to project a certain image of himself to the public (see: his cute lil’ humming run after his yell in s4e23 to make him seem kind of normal). but he’s also spent a lot of time with himself. in fact, if we take the few scenes we have of him alone and his bedroom (bare, spartan, meticulous) into account, oikawa actually is much more solemn and/or serious than the image he projects. he’s comfortable in the silences between all the white noise. he’s alright just being with iwaizumi. he allows himself to dwell on the past and his shortcomings, while also looking forward to the future. his ambition and passion to improve drive him, but his past failures weigh him down. they haunt him.
personally, i think that he’s naturally a pretty silly guy when given the chance. it’s not just for show. iwaizumi would even corroborate this à la oikawa’s introduction speech in s1. he likes having fun when he can with his friends. if we assume that oikawa is most himself with iwaizumi, then we definitely know that’s the case (see: “are you my mom, iwa-chan?”), and there’s nothing wrong with that. but i think that the most basic traits of his character, combined with his experiences in volleyball, have pushed him to be this person who is mired in doubt. it’s forced him to go down a path where something that he once loved for the fun of it has now become the source of his ire. it’s really just that simple. maybe in another life, things would be different and oikawa wouldn’t have to struggle as much. but that’s really just a part of the human experience, isn’t it? and, in all honesty, would we really love oikawa as much without all his vices?
and maybe this is getting into speculation, but i don’t think it’s a difficult argument to make that oikawa is really mature. he’s introspective. i say introspective because the revelations that he’s had in regards to his own strengths and weaknesses--those are things he’s had to confront and deal with since he was in junior high (starts at 12 years of age). it takes someone with a lot of maturity and self-awareness to realize those kinds of things about himself.
and he’s stronger than he gets credit for. most people depict him as a crybaby, but he’s really not. he doesn’t cry or give up in the face of ushijima or kageyama’s unfettered growth and successes, he doesn’t cry when faced with defeat. oikawa is there to support iwaizumi in his own doubt as ace, and lend support to his teammates. and oikawa doesn’t get stuck on the what-ifs or has-beens. driven by his infamous ambition, he looks forward to the future. 
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it’s kind of a double-edged sword. it’s pushed him this far--he’s put in this much effort to be one of the best in the prefecture--because of his competitive spirit, but it’s also something that has caused him serious injury. oikawa’s motto (”if you’re gonna to hit it, hit it until it breaks!”) is the very epitome of this mentality. it’s a message to work hard to finish what you started, but i also think that you could interpret that hard work breaking you, too. he’s steadfast—obsessive, really—to the point that oikawa will let his passions break him before he would ever give up. it’s the point of all the strife in his life, because he would never have the problems he does if he were even a little less enamored by this sport. 
and you really have to wonder where he would be without ushijima and kageyama as his obstacles. his drive will always be there, that is an intrinsic part of him, as are the standards to which he holds himself, but you really have to wonder just how good oikawa would be if he didn’t have such direct competitors. this is an incredibly important question to ask about kageyama and oikawa in particular. yes, oikawa does loathe ushijima: for his disregard for oikawa’s decisions, for his disregard of oikawa’s loyalty, for his flippant attitude of seijoh, who oikawa has poured his blood and sweat into creating. but ushijima is an opposite hitter. oikawa is a setter. those are two very different positions with little crossover. but with kageyama--that is a clear rivalry. they push each other to be better, made all the more potent by their differences as players; one setter’s growth as a player directly impacts how the other performs in each subsequent game. seijoh’s defeat by karasuno in season 2 just feeds into oikawa’s drive for the future. he has not intention of giving up. a light was lit under him, pushing him forward, to do better, to be better. 
this is something that has been pointed out in a different analysis (linked below) but, narratively speaking, oikawa is kageyama’s foil. their interactions inform their characters and are a major cause of tension in their development. their relationship is really the most complex in the story that i have noticed, and is something that has not been appreciated enough. the iwaizumi-oikawa thing has been expounded and studied in every facet possible (i love the alexander the great/hephaestion allusions), but it’s true that kageyama has impacted oikawa the most. they begrudgingly respect each other’s talents, what it is that they bring to the court, while also envying what the other has in spades that they do not. in oikawa’s case, his strength clearly lies in his interpersonal relationships--his ability to intuit exactly what his teammates need to be at their best. kags is just a fount of overwhelming technical skill who has a really hard time getting to know those around him. living up to the standards that oikawa places on himself, in tandem with kageyama threatening his position as setter, leave oikawa floundering, fearing his own incompetence against opponents who are naturally much better than he. so he’s left with the knowledge that maybe his best isn’t good enough, but he still continues on anyway. he pushes himself past a seemingly unreachable threshold just to go toe-to-toe with this monster. it’s the purpose of his character--to tell this story of the ordinary v. the extraordinary--and it is perhaps the most relatable arc that a story like haikyuu!! can tell.
their connection naturally causes oikawa to seek out help, seen in the flashback scenes where he is talking to an unspecified coach/adult. that coach’s words then become the creed upon which oikawa plays, maybe even more than what iwaizumi has taught him, and is the final push that completes oikawa’s character arc in s2ep24. that change in mindset allows oikawa to see kageyama’s unbridled talent not as an obstacle but as a challenge. it’s very nuanced, but it makes all the difference. it’s why, following seijoh’s defeat, oikawa has the audacity to declare to kageyama and ushijima his plans for the future. in a sense, karasuno and kageyama and ushijima have won the battle but not the war. it’s the tipping point in his story and, more than anything, what makes oikawa so compelling. we have seen what has led up to the change, but now we want to know what he’s going to do to meet that challenge. what will he be doing beyond the story when he is no longer relevant to the narrative? we don’t know the details at this point, but we know that oikawa’s love and ambition for volleyball have been reaffirmed in this moment. 
but to bring it back, the kags-oiks connection also makes us question what it is we are watching, makes us as the audience think: what qualifies someone as a genius? are there any limitations to what that genius can do? what can ordinary people do in the face of those geniuses? 
these are questions that exist beyond the reality of sports and transverse into other disciplines. for me, those are very real questions that i have had to ask myself as a musician. i have dedicated nine, almost 10, years to my practice but there are still 10-year-olds who are just better at it than i ever will be. part of it is time and practice to be sure, but some of it is just innate. and i think the more appropriate version of those questions would be this: what qualifies someone as a prodigy? are there limitations for prodigies? what can we do in the face of prodigies? 
oikawa is a genius player--he knows the ins-and-outs of his sport better than anyone, and he can accomplish great feats that others in his same position can’t. but even with all that veritable experience and skill, he is ultimately still overtaken by a prodigy whose talents seem endless. it’s why he can hate ushijima but fear kageyama. one is something he can actively fight against, the other is inevitable. 
and really, i think that’s the beauty of oikawa tooru, why he’s so beloved by the fandom, even years after he has stopped being relevant to the narrative. beyond the fluff and goofiness and hijinks, there’s someone there who is really, truly, human. 
an aside with much less significance/why do people think this??
so here’s one thing: even though oikawa has fangirls, i wonder what he actually thinks of them. for one, it’s only natural for anyone to be super flattered if people think you’re hot stuff. that’s just... i don’t think he’s weird if he pays attention to them. but i think that people are conflating his being kind to them to being genuinely egotistical due to the attention. actually, i think these are opposing ideas and a contradiction of who oikawa is. when you’re an arrogant person, you think that you deserve all the attention you’re getting and you’re not going to bother with the people who worship you.
but that’s not at all what oikawa does. he’s rather kind to his fans. i would never say that he’s self-effacing, but knowing what you’re worth is different from being pompous. and think about it. it’d be a real jerk move for oikawa to not say nice things to them and thank his fangirls when they spend time, energy, and effort to make him food and see his games. he would just be a genuinely awful person if he didn’t at least give them thanks. it’d be more alarming if he didn’t talk to them, at least in my opinion. more than anything, we should consider this: why is it that oikawa has the fan club and not anyone else on the seijoh team? i’m sure a part of it is because he’s attractive and the captain of a team, but i think it’s more than that, too. we see these interactions from other perspectives, but i think that reflects more on those around oikawa than oikawa himself if they don’t understand why he acts the way he does with those girls.
another thing: i don’t think that anyone can question that oikawa is very pretty, or handsome, or whatever descriptor you would like. it’s prevalent in fandom (see: pretty setters squad), but he is also the only person in canon to be acknowledged by other characters as being particularly good-looking. maybe the miyas count at this point? i’m not sure. but i don’t really understand where people get the idea that he is particularly focused on his appearance, though. there is literally no indication of that from the material that i have seen. and maybe he uses that to his advantage with his fangirls, but i highly doubt that, in all honesty. i think that it’s fun to imagine him being into these things as a hobby, but it irks me greatly when i see that people spend time saying that oikawa wakes up extra early just to fix his hair or slather on foundation/concealer just to look presentable. 
he’s a teenaged boy who clearly has other things that worry him, he’s a full-time student, and volunteers to coach at lil tykes volleyball classroom in his free time. he wouldn’t have time to spend on his hair or makeup. and we even seen in the hanger tooru special that he even wakes up looking like that. 
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he is au naturale, my friends. and we even know how little he gives thought to his own body, if you take into account his knee brace. for oikawa, his body is merely the medium through which he can accomplish his goals. we even have evidence of this when we see oikawa up all night studying karasuno game play or via his knee brace. he doesn’t know how to stop or understand when enough is enough. he breaks himself if there’s no one to watch him. 
also, just... how would makeup work, logistically speaking? i don’t wear makeup, but i’m thinking that foundation and concealer and hair product would be, um, really bad. like, it’d run down his face and stuff. also, it’d probably get into his eyes, too? seriously. i’m not against oikawa wearing makeup in the slightest cause he’d be even prettier, but we know that oikawa would absolutely not jeopardize his chances in any way. 
thank you for reading this long-winded, probably awful look into my favorite character of all time. and i do mean that. he is my favorite character in all of media. which, like, says a lot when he’s competing against the casts of a:tla, call me by your name, and my actual favorite book, the song of achilles. after all of that, if you would like another (better) analysis of oikawa’s character, i suggest this reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/haikyuu/comments/94irsi/character_analysis_16_oikawa_tooru_discussion/ 
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benchgenderstudies · 3 years ago
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Busting Dr Cynthia Buliks Injurious Revisionism of Anorexia and Eating Disorders.
By Michael Bench, MEP, WGSGC
1.Can you tell who has eating disorders?
Cynthia says “no”.
Actual Answer: Yes.
Starvation effects are observable and anorexia is cosmetic starvation. Those females with an early eating disorder (EDNOS) or using Anorexic behaviors should be addressed and reported to school staff or counseling for their safety; Crash Dieting is disordered eating even if not a diagnosis and is part of a larger social problem of aversions to patient and honest physical conditioning. Crash diets are the tools of lushes. The very lushes that publish female targeted media promoting cleanses and ‘quick fix tips’.  Medical and health advice, if from a document, should only come from academic journals. 
2.Are mothers to blame:
Cynthia says no.
Actual Answer: Often
Mothers who have seasonal weight control efforts and use crash diets to cheat their way to a 'beach body” are modeling disordered eating. Crash diets are disordered eating. Mothers involved with pageants have also been known to use other methods like infecting their daughters with tapeworms to reach a desired thinness.
3.Are families to blame?
Cynthia says no.
Actual Answer:Yes.Situationally.
Involvement with sport, social or classist activities that prioritize gender roles before sport itself is a complicity to eating disorders and body dysmorphia. A parent who willingly lets an industry or coach alter her child’s course of physical maturity is actively neglecting their child no matter what the presumed benefits.  Families also normalize some seasonal classism, poor nutritional behavior, and poor communication that can be seen in children using anorexic trope behavior and insincere-suicidal attention getting. Mothers who believe their daughters should be paying attention to female targeted fashion media and other retail or pop culture are poorly guarding their children.
4.Is society to Blame? (Far too general. Go home Cynthia.)
Actual Answers: Media is to blame partly in that it protects its advertisers exploitation and revisionism of need/want psychology. Media also forwards health talking points for the unhealthy. The term “weight control” for example is an index case of tolerating a slothful deviant-leisure society who cheat their way to “good looks” simply for summer exhibition. Then they return indoors for winter with their indoor sloth and lazy nutritional rituals.
Coaching & Fashion: Females are not males. Training them as males or believing diet is a form of genetic engineering is magical thinking that can injure the athletes. Instead, minimum ages in sport should be raised so children in gymnastics ,for example, are not used as carnival acts. Lacking a period, a females maturity/fill out has not been “stalled”. She is amenorrheic whether with or without a visible menarche; an event itself that’s been postponed. Females cannot sustain low BMI male thinness to appear his heterosexual-binary-other. In fashion , the binary roles are actually the same , only at smaller emaciated sizes and not androgynous as reported. Fashionistas who take their model's health for granted as an act of 'luxury artification” are long guilty of endangering her health/assault , among other violations like complicit child trafficking  (Set aside whether the female volunteers the risk, the runway’s terms are decided by the foolish and nihilist cosmosexuals having very little competence about human physiology. Respecting ‘who we are” ,eh?) Females normalizing anorexic/disordered eating as a justification of their (model) career or fame are themselves a microphone for social blame. 
5.Are Anorexia and Eating disorders a White race problem/Female problem.
Actual Answer: Yes.
The democratization of Western and American market views of ideal beauty and ideal sexuality has not changed the core source of toxic constructions of binary gender. The manipulation of the female body to conform to eras if disinformation and beauty trends, ie Gibson girl and the Heroin Chic waif, show that 'disordered eating' and its long term effects are practiced as luxury fads. Actual mental disorders escalated to Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa stem from European and South Asian religio-social pacts of personal virtue(Breatherism/Inedia). Ever since the first London and American reports of Inedia or fad fasting the practicioners lied about how little they ate. Anorexia, breatherism and inedia have always been appropriate religious rituals used by desperate zealots for attention.. The vulnerability to this sort of radicalization around fasting links to psychological vulnerability and distortions of their self  (a specific form narcissistic personality disorder)
6. Consider the remainder of her list debunked.>>(will add the rest later)
>>Anorexia is NOT A CASH COW.
If researchers want to do genomics research, have at.   Anorexia itself has provably been found occurring as fads. If the 'formal' uppity journal community don’t have the courage to admit mental illness can be market caused and that the external sphere of society can be toxic..  it is their own failure to confront it and demand regulation. Gibson Girl, Heroin Chic, and proana ‘lifestyle’, are fads whose females are too often seen as ‘victims’ of a male privilege error rather instead their own stubborn choices and long term effects there of : I reject the notion Anorexia should be tolerated as a go-to for researchers that simply need grant money and repudiate those that attempted to distract its identity. The democratization of Anorexia as ‘everyone’s disease’ leads me to be highly suspicious of Buliks motivations as a professional  and what diet/pharm companies are handing her NCEEDUS checks. 
“ Aye , I hear you was gonna go on a crash diet. You dont wanna be one of those wanna bes..  A real crash diet , ya cut your own brake cables , go for a drive on elevated roads and see how many cliffs you can climb back up from.”
What is Anorexia Nervosa:
Behaviors of Disordered Eating are not themselves the source of the problem. All persons using crash diet and anorexic symptom behaviors however should be considered ‘eating disordered”.  Anorexic behaviors are actions of solving a problem the subject appears to suffer even if originally having a healthy proportioned body.  Current research suggests that between 3-10 exposures to any message makes an audience more willing to oblige and 'know' its message. This also means a female convinced that eternal youth is where she must rest her physical body to be beautiful is not technically a mental disorder yet. In the struggle to keep her body looking prepubescent the damages of malnutrition and gray matter deterioration lead to distortions of thought. These distortions then create  new symptoms, unoriginal symptoms that are signs of a narcissistic depression and helplessness.
Starting at that point for internal pathology....
If Anorexia is a mental illness aside from market learning then it must be recognized a problem of extreme dissatisfaction with the self that has escalated.  Anorexia Nervosa , or the most extreme form of cosmetic starvation is then to be recognized : A narcissistic depression formed from the conflict or inability to adapt to adolescent body changes. Social messages denouncing the mature female body and independence may solidify these formerly inert cautions. Further, body changes of the teen are used by marketers to embarrass and humiliate the teen for imperfections; a classic 'witch hunt' scenario of threatening the girl with being burnt at the stake for not being a sexual object. The anorexic is faced with that environment daily; an environment where she has no choice to identify as an adolescent among peers and media , whether she’s ready to adapt or not. There is a clear ‘at adolescence trigger” that points to an adaptation difficulty in a soup of marketing that denounces the aged female as roast beef, spent, junk in the trunk and other negativity. The Youngest females.. healthy or by pathology would have a difficult time concluding what is good about being female when the unhealthy deposition of fat at the waist and hips is normal for her maturity.  That is mainly due to problems in the fitness community media leaving no appreciation for fitness itself. Magazine imagery is purely body sculpted or body building.. actual athletic conditioning with the time allotment it requires. 
 I am also referring to Anorexia as a form of Gender Dysphoia who's conflicted social and internal views of teen maturity can lead to traumatized states.  This should not leave room for stable anorexics or unstable females to characterize the adoption of their injurious methods for 'an in-crowd” elitism.
Anorexia Nervosa and its less severe 'eating disorders..  should actually be called #BodyDysmorphicSIBDieting ( Self Injurious Behavior-Dieting)..It includes caloric restriction, multiple stimulant abuse, dissociative abuse and abuse of prescribed medicines,  poor choices in recovery foods which adds to their narcissistic shaming. Pro Ana websites and groups must be understood part of the symptom of a sociopathic “narcissism supply”. Because Anorexia is so well known, applying its known traits can mimic actual anorexics but these body dissatisfied people are factitious disorder candidates. (they are still disordered and mentally unwell. Thereby groups calling themselves pro Ana that taunt new members as ‘wannabes’ are not doing their job as a support group; Support groups and other health resources pages welcome members  and hope to spread positiivity. Instead pro ana sites often feature a core group functioning as an exclusive cliq who give merit to the identity of ANOREXICS as it surrounds her; the actual board member is of no consequence. The Pro Ana board is an active process of denial/bargaining by making their narcissist affliction sound positive and trendy.
In no way should statements of recovery or links on these proana sites be presumed to be safe.  Anorexia Nervosa is technically an umbrella term for three or more groups necessitating 'shortcutting dieting techniques” to achieve a desireable body. One is truly a mental illness of its own, another is a sociopathic illness that has adopted anorexic traits for its factitious parading.. but is also as serious. Also be mindful that persons starting pro anorexic boards might also be sadists and psychopaths who find artificial arousal in providing a place for harm.  All persons utilizing starvation and self abuse for an undisciplined 'thinspired body” are all heading to the same fatal end; including fashion models. Anorexia in name, in diagnosis, or in method IS STILL ANOREXIA. A refusal of recovery and presumption that anorexia is a lifestyle in name , point to a group still in denial that their practices are injurious. Denial of self failure/deception is one narcissist flaw even if the personality disorder symptoms dont apply to the factitious supplicants 
Third is a general category of body dissatisfied females who use encourage each other with SIB Diet techniques rather than actually go to a gym and perform both cardio AND resistance-exercise-for-STRENGTH.. which will infact lead to hypertrophy and better metabolism. This third group is often heckled by the others as fakers and wannarexics. In fact it is the other two groups proving the sociopathic tendencies of their guilt being made manifest on others. Since they cannot empathize, they neither should be empathized. Those yelling 'wannarexics” can be considered social trash and treated accordingly. A combined trait among all 'anorexics' is they mistake strength as an inside characteristic to excuse responsible self conditioning. .. or to justify their fears lifiting weights .. as a behavior is too masculinity  defining.  Her ego exploits her physical body and the body at times will take back such time to demand fueling.  It is then rightful the ego feels shame but not for eating .. rather for the fasting that causes binging in excess of regular fueling of activity.  This singular matter has a strong motivation to be fatally thin and is their excuse to avoid most legitimate forms of  balanced physical conditioning. The thinness is of no consequence. Those who intend to crash diet their way to a perfect body will eventually succumb to the cheapness of their diets. There is no diet that achieve what physical benefits come from physical conditioning. Research addressing diet as more important than exercise in weight control addresses a foolish society terrible at both.   MB.
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bisexualdiaries · 4 years ago
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On Relationships - The Bisexual Experience
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"While I don't often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have 'chosen' is to be in a gay relationship." ~ Cynthia Nixon
Something I've noticed in learning about the spectrum that is sexuality, is how differently individuals are perceived as opposed to couples. Of course, the sexuality of others isn't necessarily our business and isn't something we should wonder about for too long - be it a stranger or a partner - but it's a given that there's straight-passing couples: couples that consist one man and one woman - looks very in-the-norm and don't get stares, however one or both partners might belong in the LGBT community. It's easy to not get many questions asked about your sexuality if you're a girl in a relationship with a boy or vice versa, and in a way there's people that see that as an edge or a flex, while others see it as a privilege bisexual, pansexual and even some asexual people get unduly. It makes many question whether bisexuality is a legitimate inclusion in the LGBT community, since we not only get to "choose," but because of how common bi-curiosity is.
It's not unheard of for straight and gay people to explore relationships with other genders. Besides homosexual people navigating their way out of heterosexual relationships earlier on in their discoveries, there's also straight people that try options, love to mess around and experience new things. And this leaves for a huge crowded area that bisexuals have to learn to weave through in discovering themselves. It feels almost like you share a home with what acts as a rest stop/transition area for others. As an individual, this can be very intimidating, especially if you're shy and insecure - when I was still learning to accept myself I used to have this constant thought that "everyone can be bisexual, it doesn't mean anything, you just have to pick a side," and I found myself thinking repeatedly that it was okay as long as I pick hetero - yah right, like that changes anything. Not only were those thoughts self-depreciating, they also pushed this heteronormative agenda, like you can escape telling your parents and friends about your sexuality as long as you "act normal," which... is invalidating to the struggles of an entire community of people.
More and more you see bisexual people trying to make a claim for themselves in the LGBT community or escape the biphobia faced not only from straight people but also queer peers, there was the introduction of the term "bi-lesbian" that basically means that, as a woman, you are sexually attracted to two or more genders but only see yourself in a romantic relationship with a woman, which is very inconsiderate to the lesbian community and something I can get into in another post. But the way I see it, I won't blame someone for trying to define their sexuality in a more solid way, especially in fear of how you would be viewed in a relationship. In a homosexual relationship, it is not odd to find one or two homosexual people that would turn down a romantic partner solely on the basis of them being bisexual. There's this idea that they may be a straight person simply "trying out the lifestyle" or "following a trend," and so homosexual people may not feel comfortable confiding in such a person (which, technically speaking, is a genuine fear, but should never be discouraged). Imagine, even worse, coming out while in a homosexual relationship. There's the fear that your partner, if they come out as bisexual, may use that as a means to escape a gay relationship or an excuse to cheat.
On the other end of the spectrum, navigating heterosexual relationships is definitely not easy. Bisexual people aren't fully accepted in the straight world as well, as their identity is constantly being invalidated, being referred to as a "phase," being looked at as irresponsible. promiscuous or simply lackadaisical. There are many people in long-term romantic/sexual relationships that wonder if there's even a point of saying anything. Why bother entertaining the thoughts if they just cause you distress, like there's nothing you can do about it? Well I'm happy to tell you that there is. While I am also struggling with seeing the need to come out of my shell, I know that there is some importance that reaches out beyond you as an individual. Firstly it helps with bi-visibility and tackling bi-erasure and in helping to represent an entire community of individuals. There are many bisexual icons that are not regarded as "good enough" icons for the LGBT community, despite those being the only icons disposable for bisexuals. This very actively contributes to bi-exclusivity, something Lady Gaga touched on in her WorldPride address at Stonewall. There's hardly people to look up to and hardly any advice to follow in navigating your sexuality. It also helps tackle heteronormativity. No, you are not "more normal" because you are in a relationship with a man, you are still attracted to women, and there are people just like you that end up in a relationship with women or a non-binary person, and trying to rule those out as possibilities is homophobic at best.
I'd like to quickly add that while I used mainly men and women as basic examples in this, bisexuality is not limited to the attraction to those two genders in particular, but spans across other genders/sexes. Navigating this is important for building a sense of self, because it means not all bisexuals have the same experience or are attracted to the same community of people - and even when they are, it may not be to the same proportions. In other words, the only person responsible for defining your experience is yourself, not the media or biphobic queer people or biphobic straight people or other bisexual people or your friends or even your romantic partner. It's left to you. Hope this helps.
- a struggling bisexual
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