#i am struggling so far
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testing out the cintiq
#WICK'S END#glendale goodwyn#harry#glen#oc#i am struggling so far#they took away my side buttons !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Trying to get better at using my screenless drawing tablet so for practice I drew a recently reactivated SQUIP about to SQUIPsplain on FireAlpaca
#bmc#be more chill#the squip#squip gives me r/iamverysmart vibes#very redditorcore#i am struggling so far
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❤️⚔️
#ace!!! ft. ruggie v far in the bg. fun fact ruggie is the most commonly featured char in background cameos for the series#im not sure why. bc i do struggle drawing him. but idk he looks fun and made sense in them all so i rolled w it. ruggie sweep#also fun fact all the pics have hidden mickeys in the bg bc i am NOTHING if not dedicated. i gotta honor the source material#i rly tried to keep some level of outfit diversity in this series but it sucks bc bday outfits are hard to logically justify. and silver?#he has so few cards. so i went a lil out of the box and put him under sebek's camp jkt here. i think it tracks it works well. its cyute#silver 'tending the fire' his ass asleep. that fire is tending itself. maybe the birds will poke him if it starts dying down#the outdoor environments for this series were sooooo fun to do. i tried some new brushes and AUGH the foliage the TEXCHURR!!! yum#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#ace trappola#ruggie bucchi#suntails#i also think that foot belongs to jack howl on the right but i truly dont remember. i finished this roughly a month ago
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a last day // 1911
// the escalation (graphic! NSFW!!! oh no what are the men doing🥒💦) herein is a patreon exclusive, do consider dear readers 😎✨//
#and there is like 17 squares of it yumyum#1911#historical fantasy#i keep writing the nasties into these things so i am struggling to figure out how to even share some of the stories cuz#at least one so far starts in the bedroom so i cant fade out like usually ahahahah
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so i saw this old-ish post about an au centering around a villain lewis and a hero arthur,,, and i. may have gotten attached to it,, dkdndkdjs. so i decided to make some edits + doodles based on it!! i also really wanna make a lil oneshot about it as well,, but uh... whether or not i actually follow through on that, we'll see,, skdjsojdks.
edit: good news, gang,, i wrote the fic!!
#my art#mystery skulls animated#lewis pepper#msa lewis#arthur kingsmen#msa arthur#really happy with how their designs came out !!!#it was a bit of a struggle to make lewis not just look like how he is in canon but with a cape;;#but i think the patterns + sugar skull makeup help a lot!#imagining lewis has the power to just turn into a ghost form;; which he uses for villain stuff. think danny phantom#(<- has never watched danny phantom)#and arthur's just kinda like batman; makes his own gadgets and stuff! i imagine his metal arm also has some fun doodads in it#still debating on why exactly arthur is so beat up in the potential fic; so far i'm thinking maybeeee reverb?#or maybe just some unknown new villain guy#and yes i know there's additions in the post i linked where everyone agrees it was actually mystery#not even murder mystery just. mystery.#i am politely ignoring that. bc i don't like that.#mystery is just vivi's not-dog in my version of this au.#'vivi please don't try and break into a dangerous supervillain's lair to try and rescue some hero' he says to her#meanwhile vivi's already halfway there#being vivi's dog is a full-time job
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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if you’re a city girl through and through like me when bakugou invites you to go hiking or camping with him he’s the most affectionate before he asks, drowning you in kisses and random gifts on top of the ones he regularly gets you, breakfast in bed the day he’s gonna ask and getting off work early just to pick up your favorite treats at the bakery before they close
he knows you’ll always say yes, it’s just a little added plus since he knows you’ll hate the part with the mosquitoes and the random sounds in the dark when it’s pitch back out and you’re clinging to him inside the tent or the distant howling in the silent night inside the old cottage
#kai.rambles#i’m visiting my bf’s family in the countryside and bro i’m struggling#the mosquitoes have made a feast out of me#the heat is absurd i am sweating through my clothes#there is no light so far up the mountains so when it gets dark out it’s pitch fucking black#the makeup is makeuping tho so i’m okay i tried the patrick star setting spray and y’all it did not come to play#fully recommend if you’re a makeup girlie like me#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader
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Cannot Unsee. Cannot Unknow.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#song lan#a-qing#blood#special appearance to the fox hairpin. Cute bonus episode and scene#alas I am already struggling a bit with maintaining good flow on this arc#I’ve got a better drawn mdzs art of A-qing coming soon to make up it though!#okay time to talk about This Scene…cause wow the angst is ripe and juicy#what really gets me is the fact Song Lan stays quiet while XXC stabs him….#And that Xue Yang never intended to tell XXC about the fake corpses#NOR did A-Qing want to tell him the truth!!#the theme of ‘ignorance is bliss’ is so strong here…xxc is blind to the evils of the world#and everyone seems to recognize how rare that is. How far they go to preserve it#Yi-city asks a lot of hard questions. As someone who values Honesty above nearly all else-#-the question posed here about whether honesty is truly the correct course of action really gets to me#Lying is a form of kindness in here. And in a story about rumours and manipulations of truth-#its a good parallel to what we see in the main story!#we see the harm caused by trying to lie to be kind. The harm in realizing youve been lied to#there are a lot of plot points around kind lies in mdzs and it facinates me!
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COLIN MORGAN as JOHN WEBSTER The Killing Kind, Episode 1
#colin morgan#the killing kind#tvedit#smallscreensource#cinematv#not thrilled w the coloring but i really struggled for some reason lmao#i actually am really enjoying this show so far! i don't trust john at all though#ee#gifs#colin
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I just want someone who will not leave when things get difficult
#actually super tired of explaining to a potential partner about my mental illnesses#and what I struggle with and how everyone so far left me because I became too much#which is why I’m so scared of getting close to someone#and them being like no it’s ok it’ll be different with me I’ll try for you#only for it to not be different and them still getting tired of me in the end#I wish I didn’t always become too much for everyone#I just want someone to stay and try for me and be patient as I try for them#like am I just not destined to be around people or something#at least long term
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congratulations christopher!
self indulgent near-future in which when christopher graduates high school buck n eddie take hiim to hawaii to celebrate and they all have a nice vacation over here. friend n i were brainrotting it a bit and we decided buck definitely hyperfixated on hawaii and stuff (history, nature, geography, mythology, etc)
#buddie#christopher diaz#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#mustasekittens#i still struggle drawing all 3 of them its a nightmare#anyways gavin is getting really tall and i thought it would be kinda funny if he was almost taller than eddie once he's an adult#my friend and i expanded on buck's hawaii hyperfixation so there's def gonna be a short comic to follow this up LOL#the lei christopher is wearing is called a maile lei#theyre usually worn by men but anyone can wear a maile :]#maile lei are usually worn at grads/proms/weddings or just cuz!#buddie are married at this point. (wink wink. bucks ring. wink)#i shouldve made buck more sunburned#idk if people even read tags this far but anyways more little details#also idk smth smth buck wearing yellow eddie wearing blue n chris wearing green (although not exactly) bc theyre a weird blended family#the brand of shirts the 3 of them r wearing is called sig zane and its a local (fancy) aloha wear brand here! its based in hilo!!#my local friend who's from big island brought it up to me and i remembered it existed#i see people wear sig zane all the time here on oahu but i am so shit at remembering names. that is extended to clothing brands LMFAO#what i mean by fancy aloha wear i mean these fucking shirts cost upwards of $130-145 EACH.#and they are fucking BEAUTIFUL.#i did take some liberties with the designs for the 3 of them tho#buck and christopher's are almost directly referencing existing designs from their catalogue while i smplified one for eddie's#christopher's is an ulu (breadfruit) pattern and i kinda ate that ngl#i was originally gonna just use some stamp brushes i found on the csp asset store but they looked so tacky i just decided to draw them LOL#anyways enjoy this self indulgent stupid stuff who cares anymore
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day 5 on chapter 15 of Hands of the Emperor:
He played until the full moon sailed high above them, his last song one of the endless longing of a poet who had fallen in love with the Moon. [...] "It is nearly the eclipse," his Radiancy said in a quiet voice, and Cliopher realized that he probably knew its coming far more intimately than any of them.
#the hands of the emperor#hands of the emperor#artorin damara#nine worlds#inktober24#THIS ONE KILLED ME WUAGH.#i am in that part of the art curve where my eye is SO much better than my skill so it all looks OFF#anyways part of the problem is also this should have been a Colour WorkTM#you get the tone contrast between the background (which is also BLUES and GREENS)#against HR who is still in darkness EXCEPT for the fire glow on the harp and his skin and the BRIGHT gold of his eyes#ink is such a tricky medium to work with sometimes!!!! i also feel like i'm struggling with not making all the pieces the same...#last year's had more variety in stroke i feel this year i'm just hatching#it gives it a more coherent look though so i guess i can't be too mad#ANYWAYS. long ramble bc i'm putting off finishing a job application#but i should go do that now... if you've read this far have a cookie#OH AND!!!!!!! I WANTED THE MOON TO HAVE A RED GLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someday i will redo this in color
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i feel like amaurotine society's conformity is something that often gets overlooked in the english-speaking fanbase. not just in the way people bend canon for the sake of their azems, but i mean that it seems, at least for an american audience, that the ancient way of life is so odd and unlike what we're used to that it seems almost alien. unfortunately i'm also east asian so i can assure you that amaurot is real and is located in seoul, south korea. hell on earth.
#xivposting#part of hermes's agonies comes from a very east asian idea of conformity#and when you have Problems and are not cishet..#honestly im struggling to even come up with a coherent angle for this particular thought bc im kind of overwhelmed by Every Angle#obviously this is a japanese game written by japanese people so theyre probably speaking on japanese society#but when i tell you korea is far worse about conformity#everyone in seoul dresses in exactly the same style and i am not joking
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one thing I have to keep reremembering every time I'm playing a soulslike/similar kind of difficult game -- and that I wish I could internalize elsewhere in my life as well -- is that you always, always have to suffer through the long dark of an inexplicable failcringe era before you can emerge into a fresh new dawn of competence. faceplanting into humiliating failure in ways you hadn't even conceived of before on a loop can sometimes be the herald of great and wondrous things to come soon. don't be so quick to abandon yourself in the early murk of daybreak because you think you just suck!!!
#returnal out here reminding me of the great truths yet again#I am crying and screaming my way through the fractured wastes. I may have relinquished all dignity. but I am making progress#returnal#tbf I do find the grind weirdly comforting. this game is Doing something with the strange paradoxical comfort of misery#and it's doing it very well. fills the same 'knocking your head against a wall for the pleasure of it' depression niche#as farming for souls in formsoft games haha. we must imagine the bearer of the curse happy#it's the same thing I'm doing in real life but at least in games you get to see tangible progress within ten hours. not so in life I fear#the only part of the game I haven't loved so far is the nemesis boss fight but that kind of checks out considering what sorts of bosses#I normally struggle with. I love a dance partner boss I hate a 'so much is going on all the time all over the place what the fuck' boss#I could fight malenia for hours but when you fill my screen with noise I am frustrated and defeated lol#fight me man on man you COWARD!!!#thank god the game doesn't force you to replay bosses after you beat them the first time (though the others were kind of fun so)
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Sorry no meta this time I'm just fucking obsessed with this interaction and wanted to share it!
Particularly his little "What?" that's the perfect blend between delight and surprise at your audacity. Plus you can call him a good boy and he calls you a cheeky little pup!! The way he says please? I CANNOT with this shit!! Are you seeing this shit???
I'm going insane.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#astarion x tav#worsties to lovers#oc: hiraeth#you need a diagram to figure out their power struggles in bed#they have the intimate politics of a small war-torn nation#ALSO why is astarion always the only one with an icon over his head? it's been this way in both my playthroughs so far#it's like the game knows what i am
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Hello ❢
I love your voice synth art, and you have a great artstyle in general ❢
May I suggest you draw Yuto Fujimura (UTAU) ? Or any other Yupphire UTAUloid, I think they all look great. Ɛ>
Have a nice day ❢
#27 Yuto Fujimura
#struggled drawing his hair a lot#but in the end i like this one ^^#art#digitalart#artists on tumblr#gee i am so far behind on asks#illustration#digital art#also i dont think he has an item#but the compostion was so off without anything there#so i improvised#yeee#digital aritst#fanart#my art#i need to go to sleep real bad now haha bye#digital illustration#vocal synth#vsynth#utau#utauloid#utau yuto fujimura#yuto fujimura
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