#only for it to not be different and them still getting tired of me in the end

[yamumsyadadd]

We meet again

a/n: talks of homophobia, ignore this if that isn’t your thing.

happy New Year’s Eve, it’s 9pm where I live so this will be my last fic of 2024 ;) stay safe, have fun!

It was a warm evening in Barcelona when I saw you again. I still loved you, not that you ever really knew, or maybe you did. 

You were sitting there in the restaurant with your friends. I was there too, waiting for a guy I barely knew but was giving a chance because my father had begged me to. 

It was the same routine. Giving them a ‘chance’ knowing I’d stopped talking to them. I started to realise that I was waiting for you. A forbidden love. 

You hadn’t noticed me yet, I of course noticed you, I always did. My date arrived and we sat down. He was different to you, they all were. Blonde, clean cut, men. I tried not to glance over at you. 

I engaged in conversation, I smiled, I laughed. I did everything you’re supposed to do on a date. But I couldn’t help stealing glancing at you. 

You got up to use the bathroom and as you walked by my table, that’s when you finally saw me. You stopped dead in your tracks, then slowly made your way to me. 

“Hey I’m sorry for interrupting, I didn’t see you walk in. How are you?” You asked, eyes genuine, truly curious. 

“Oh I’m good. I didn’t see you either!” I laughed even though it was a lie, somehow I find you in every room, every stadium. 

You look at my date and introduce yourself, you never need an introduction, everyone knows who you are but you do it anyway. “I was just heading to the restroom but let’s catch up soon.” You smiled, the kind of smile that isn’t real, just polite. 

“Yeah let’s.” You walk away, and I allow myself to breathe again. I smile at my date and we continue on. I keep thinking about you, I must be a horrible person. A good looking, well educated man sitting in front of me and all I can think about is you, you with the tattoos, the long black hair and cocky smile. The fingers that can make me forget my name. 

When you get back to your seat, we make eye contact, you smile then turn back to your friends. I recognise them all, how could I not. Alexia sits with Olga, Irene with Lucia, Patri and Claudia huddled together listening to whatever drama Maria and Leila have to share. 

There’s this weird thing about loving someone who you never got to love openly. A frightening feeling that your feelings won’t be shared. And a harbouring desire to scream them at you. 

It becomes suffocating knowing it is everything you want but wanting to protect your heart because you’re tired of people not feeling them same or being ashamed. Jenni loved the same way you did, loud, unapologetic and all consuming. No man your father picks could do that. Because no man was Jenni. 

Because of that, it becomes easier to stay quiet. To love from afar, scrolling through her instagram late at night, the shared photos, the messages. To love from a distance is to play it safe. 

My date eventually comes to an end. We get up and walk out, you’re still there laughing loudly. I look back at you one more time and then leave with him. 

I say goodbye to my date, thank him for dinner. He’s a nice guy, and will make a girl happy but he isn’t you. No one is. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, I guess I’m always waiting for you, I shouldn’t though because you won’t come. You never do. 

As I continue my walk home, my phone chimes with a message. I pulled it out, expecting it to be from one of the girls asking about the date, but it’s from you. You texted me a simple ‘get home safe.’ 

I smile, eyes skimming past our last exchange. I text back a simple ‘I will thank you.’ I watch as you start to type more, then it disappears. I convince myself it’s nothing and continue on home and I think about you. I wonder if you think about me too. 

—————————————————————————

It was a tumultuous relationship. Plagued by fighting and jealousy. You were young, only 20 when you met her at some gala your parents were throwing. She was older, closer to 30 than you were to your teenage years. 

You’d seen her before, at one of the many parties your parents had through. She always excluded the same energy, she knew she was hot, and that made her cocky. Always with the same group of people, who you’d come to learn was the football team your parents loved. 

It was the third party they attended that you finally met. You were forced into conversation at the bar, you knew from that first interaction that you were doomed. 

Being gay wasn’t something that was spoken about within your family, they all knew but chose to ignore it. The phrase ‘you just haven’t met the right man’ was burned into your brain. Maybe you hadn’t, but you didn’t want to wait and find out. 

After the last party of the year, that happened to be the Christmas party, you left with her. the way her hand felt on your lower back, the grip her fingers had on your exposed skin, the way she made you chant her name like she was a god. It was addicting. 

Your friends hated her. While she was never outwardly rude to them, you’d always run to them after a fight. Telling them everything she said, leaving out how you were just as bad. But that’s what friends were for, right? 

Most of her friends discouraged the relationship, Jenni loved loudly and unapologetically, you did not. It was two different words, she was a star footballer, older and wiser. You were just some rich kid who had barely started their adult life. 

After a toxic and bitter end to the 18 month relationship, she left for Mexico. Not even bothering to say goodbye. Your heart shattered into pieces. The final words she spoke to you playing over in your mind for months. 

“I’m done loving someone who won’t love me back.” It’s not that you didn’t love her, the opposite in fact, it was that you never said it. She said it within the first few months, and every time it filled you with a sense of dread. 

How would you explain it to your family? The consequences of your love would outweigh anything else, so you kept quiet. 

The multiple parties a year continued on, the Barcelona players continued to come and you’d do everything in your power to steer clear of them. Occasionally it wouldn’t work and you’d be stuck with some of them for a photo or whatever. Alexia and Irene watched you sympathetically, you hated it. 

————————————————————————

Jenni’s pov 

The air in the restaurant was charged. Like two magnets trying to join each other but I couldn’t figure why, until I saw you. 

At first I didn’t think it was you. It had been two years since I last saw you. You were older now, more elegant, still as beautiful as ever maybe even more. But then I realised you were with someone. 

A man, who was the complete opposite of me. He was blonde, no doubt rich, clean cut and probably reached of over priced cologne.

I realised, half way to the bathroom that I’d have to walk past you to get there and took a chance. 

“Hey, I’m sorry for interrupting, I didn’t see you walk in. How are you?” I asked. 

“Oh I’m good! I didn’t see you either.” You laughed and looked down. You were lying. Anytime you lied, you would look down and fidget. It was your tell. 

I introduced myself to your date, wanting nothing more than to be polite but I couldn’t help but feel jealous. For the entire 18 months of our relationship, this is what I wanted. To take you out on dates in the fancy clothes and enjoy the overpriced wine. But he got to instead. 

“I’m just heading to the restroom but let’s catch up soon.” I said, giving a small smile. 

“Yeah let’s.” I turned around and continued on to the bathroom. Gripping the sink tightly to calm myself down. It was ridiculous that after all this time, after all the girls, I still wanted you. I still loved you. 

When I returned to the table, I couldn’t help but look over at you and to my surprise you looked back at me. As I turned back to the girls, all I could think about was you. How it would feel to love you loudly like you deserved, to show you off to everyone. It wouldn’t happen though, it couldn’t. 

Most nights, from the comfort of my apartment in Mexico, I’d scroll through your burner instagram account. The one you parents didn’t know you had, it only had a select few on it and I’d like to think you kept me there for a reason, but it was likely you just forgot. 

I watched you leave with him, his hand sprawled across the small of your back like mine used too. You looked back a final time and then you were gone. Out of sight, but not out of mind. 

I took a few minutes before pulling out my phone, rereading the last few messages we had sent each other before sending a simple ‘get home safe.’ You replied quickly, you always did. I wanted to say more, tell you everything that had happened in the last 2 years, how much I still loved you, how no one was you, but I couldn’t. 

When Leila made a joke about me texting a girl, I shook my head and put my phone away. Alexia must’ve seen, giving my shoulder a squeeze and a sad smile. 

You were the one that got away. Maybe it’s better to love you from afar, I wish you nothing but happiness, even if that means finding happiness from someone else. 

—————————————————————————

The first party of the summer had arrived. As always it was a full on affair. Your parent’s house was decked out, over the top in your opinion. The older you got, the more insufferable these parties became. 

Other businessmen bought their wives and children, both the men’s and women’s team were there, celebrating the end of the season and their spectacle winning run. 

Tuxedos and ball gowns littered the main floor and the garden but you were stuck upstairs. A heavy weight weighing on your heart. You knew, the minute you went downstairs your father would try and introduce you to a man, your mother would be making comments about your appearance and your aunts would join in. 

The sound of knuckles on the door pulled you out of your thoughts. A few seconds later she was there, leaning on the doorway. Her usual cockiness was gone and replaced with what seemed to be anxiety. 

“Thought I’d find you here.” 

“What are you doing here? I thought you’d be in Mexico already?” 

“And miss this? Absolutely not.” She studied you with ease, reading you like a book, “your father is waiting for you. He has some guy he wants to introduce you too.” 

“Of course he does.” You stood up, smoothing down your dress. 

“Why don’t they stick?” Perhaps it was a thought she meant to keep in her head or she was actually curious. 

“What?” 

“The guys your father introduces you too? Why don’t they stick? You’re smart, elegant, attractive, so why don’t they stick?” 

“I don’t know.” You looked down towards the floor again. You knew, she knew, but she wanted you to say it. 

“You’re lying. Why don’t they stick?” She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for your reply. 

“Because none of them are you.” 

It was her turn to ask, and with bated breath she did, “what?” 

“None of them are you Jenni! You think I didn’t love you but I did! I do! My father can set me up with a hundred men but that’s a hundred people that aren’t you. So that’s why they don’t stick, because they aren’t you.” 

Her long legs crossed the room in what seemed to be milliseconds. Her lips smashed onto yours, hands holding your face tightly. It took a moment to register what was happening but when it did you couldn’t help up pull her closer. 

It could’ve been seconds or minutes that you were stuck in this battle of tongues and teeth but when the door opened you shoved her away from you, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. 

Your aunt Elsa was standing there, out of all the people she was the best one to catch you. Her own family, your father, considered her the black sheep of them family. Never fitting into the mould, wild and free. Loving whoever she wanted, loudly and unapologetically. It’s what you admire the most about her. 

“Your father is about to come up here and get you. You have two options.” You stared at her, confused, “option 1, you leave this room, separately and go enjoy the party. Option 2, you leave this room together, your father would be mad, your mother disappointed, the countless men waiting to meet you too. If you chose option 2, I have a friend in Mexico who can give you a place to stay, because you’ll need it. The fall out from this won’t be good. If you chose option 1, then we can walk out together, I won’t say anything ever and we’ll just pretend.” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” You blurted out, “I’ll have nothing. If I leave I have nothing.” 

“You’ll have me.” Jenni spoke up, “I can support us both, you can live with me.” 

“What if this doesn’t work out? What if it’s too good to be true?” 

“You won’t know unless you don’t try calabaza. If it truly doesn’t work out, then I’m still here. Being the black sheep.” Your aunt winked at you. “Take care of her Jennifer. I have a lot of money and can find you very quickly.” With that she left, you could hear her in the hallway, ushering your father back downstairs. 

“I’m scared.” It came out as a whisper. 

“I know. I am too. But we can do it together. If you don’t want to come to Mexico, you can stay at my apartment in Madrid or we can figure something out. Please just give us a shot. A proper shot.” It wasn’t often that Jenni begged for anything, usually she’d flash her charismatic smile and people would do as she asked. 

“Okay.” 

You left the room, together, hand in hand ready to face whatever was going to happen. The unknown is terrifying. You didn’t know how it would work with Jenni, what the future held, but she was there in your ear calming you down. 

When your father pulled you away she followed, when he exploded saying the relationship wasn’t right, she was there. She stood up for you against your parents, that’s when you realised you shouldn’t have waited so long. 

At the end of the day, all you needed was Jenni. It didn’t matter that your parents barely spoke to you, or that you were outcasted from your family. What mattered was right in front of you. 

[yanderefarm]

yandere butler x reader

cw;; drugging, non-con implied, blood, murder, violence

Its not easy being the northern duke of a nation run by a mad man. It's not easy having everything you've ever known destroyed so quickly leaving you alone without any guidance. It's not easy sitting in your frozen castle in the north dealing with food shortages and monsters and religious weirdos. Nothing about this is easy but it used to be, when the halls were filled with your mother's laughter and your little footsteps running to and fro. Now the halls are empty and cold and your footsteps never make a sound.

You straighten your back with a deep breath as you ready yourself to greet your guest. The Dvolin Marquis and his family are here, presumably to try and set you up with his eldest daughter. It's a common occurrence that you'll be harassed at least a few times by every noble woman in the country for your hand in marriage. You'll turn her down just like you have everyone else.

As you descend down the stairs you notice that your butler gives you a little wink before he begins to guide your guests to the drawing room. You can't help but smile knowing that even with this exhausting waste of time he's prepared your favorite dessert.

Of course as expected the meeting is short. You tell them plainly you are not currently looking for a wife and then they try to argue with you. The marquis tries to get more time to change your mind by insisting that you not cast them out into the snow after their long trip and out of politeness you offer them your guest rooms. Your butler gives them the tour while you return to the office with a headache.

As you sit at your desk trying to finish signing documents your eyes keep closing. Your head is so heavy. You've never been so tired in your life. Your eyes flutter close as you hear the door of your office open. Knowing your butler he probably already knew you were tired and had brought a blanket. He smelled really sweet today too.

...

Phillip had of course noticed your sudden exhaustion and even more concerning the disappearance of the Dvolin daughter during his tour. He can't stand bottom feeding scum like this who dare to bother you or even worse actively try to hurt you. It's hard to keep his composure when he opens your office door and finds this woman moving your unconscious body to the floor. Still he must remain professional.

"It seems as if his grace has fallen asleep. I ask that you not move him." He smiles as politely as he can muster.

"Oh- He-he was having some kind of problem he said his clothes were too tight before he fainted." She tried her best to look innocent and helpless.

"Then you should have alerted his staff immediately. In fact, why were you here to begin with?" He stepped closer to make sure you were still breathing normally. Just asleep like he said.

"You.. You're right I should have said something but I was so worried! You should be lucky I'm here to help your master."

"And you should learn your manners. Allow me to educate you." Phillip pulled out his riding crop and rested it against his hand.

His smile dropped as he hovered above her. "Lesson one. If you think a filthy lowlife like you could ever deserve my master you're too stupid to learn anything."

...

When you woke up the sun had started to set and you were laying on the lounge of your office, three different blankets wrapped around your body. The one who had woken you was a young maid who was out of breath and panicking as she shook you.

"Your grace! The marquis and his family have gone to the monster territory! They won't listen to reason!"

You clattered to your feet and grabbed your fur coat and your sword. Running out into the snow only to find Philip standing at the gate with his head hung and his coat hit with the unmistakable splattering of blood.

[almosthonest]

Target On Our Backs

this one is a more funny one i promise. this is something else @sopaprimordialy and i talked about and gave me a little prompt idea so here you go! :)

─────────────── ✦ ───────────────

Reckless. Absolutely reckless. Peart couldn't believe this. After what they had just gone through with the Turnbulls ACs, there's another gang that's got a hit out on them. They were lucky that they got away the other time. The Furies might be a totally different case. They were totally capable of taking their turf. They had no plan, and they barely had defense. What were they going to do.

Peart was absolutely pissed. He was tired of constantly having a target on his back. The Rogues are now back on their own turf. He's tired, his drumsticks broken, the wound that he covered with the bandage was bleeding again and he has to cover it with a new one after fighting another gang off. He's had it. And all Luther could do was laugh on his face, which irritated him so much more. So much, that he pushed him up against a wall.

"You think that's fuckin' funny? Huh?" Peart growled, "We've got another target on our backs and you think this is a fuckin' game!"

"That's how games work, Peart. You win some, you lose some, and right now, we've won," Luther said back, pushing Peart off of him.

"Look, they had our stuff, if Luther hadn't set that fire──"

Cropsy. Always willing to defend Luther, even if it got him in extreme trouble. He didn't understand it. It was like some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. But Peart knew one thing, Cropsy was paranoid. So why wasn't he paranoid about this?

"I do not wanna hear what you have to say in defense of him right now, Cropsy!" Peart told him.

"Well, you're gonna hear it, and you're gonna hear it good," Cropsy said.

"I don't have to listen to shit!" Peart yelled back.

Peart had started to walk away. Cropsy wouldn't let him. He grabbed onto his wrist, pulling him back. "Luther had to do it, otherwise we would've been fucked," Cropsy told him.

"We're already fucked, man!" Peart replied back, his voice still raised, "there are other gangs going to try and ambush us! If that's not fucked, I don't know what is! I would've rather dealt with the consequences."

"Well maybe if you would've been quicker──"

Peart looked at him. He stepped closer, their foreheads almost touching. Hazel eyes are sharp like daggers. If looks could kill, it would've been that one, and Cropsy would've already been on the floor.

"The fuck did you just say to me?"

"You heard what I said," Cropsy said back.

The other gang members are watching the argument go down. They're staring in awe, and a little bit uncomfortable. They don't know what road this was about to go, but they had a feeling it was either going to the fist fighting or an alternative route. Either way, they didn't want either happening.

"Uh ... Should we break this up This seems ... A little gay." One of the other gang members asked.

A couple other gang members shrugged. They didn't know what to do, and frankly, they didn't want to get into it. But that one gang member couldn't stand to see it any more of it. In fact, he stood up from where he was sitting.

"Alright, alright, guys, I think that's enou──"

Smack!

Down goes the tagger. Peart hit him right in his nose with one of the drumsticks that he was holding. Cropsy is in shock. He ignored it.

"Why don't you mind your fuckin' business, pal?" Peart growled.

"Hey!"

Peart turned. It's Luther again. He's pissed. "Do that again to one of them and I will wrap my hands around your neck."

"Oh bull-fuckin'-shit, man!" Peart yelled back, "the only person you'd probably do that to is Cropsy if he questioned your tactics."

"You wanna try me?" Luther asked.

Peart raised his brows in amusement. A small smirk appeared on his face. "You just wanna wrap your hands around someone's neck so bad," he said to him, "you into that, Luther?"

Luther scrunched up his nose. "What are you implying?"

"Nothing!" Peart answered, "you just got a real bad habit of pinnin' me and Cropsy up against walls."

"You're fuckin' sick, man!" Luther growled, before walking past Peart, nudging his shoulder as he passed by. He shut the room door, hard. Yeah, that ruffled some feathers.

Peart chuckled. "Knew that would get him to shut the fuck up," he mumbled, before walking away from Cropsy.

[voidsturn]

title: cowboy like me

pairing: crime syndicate!matt x undercover agent!reader

plot: matt, feeling betrayed by the one girl he loved, struggles with heartbreak and rage after her role in an ambush nearly destroys his family. she insists it was for the protection of his father, but matt’s trust wavers between eggshell-like hope and total loss. can they put aside their ‘differences’ and hopefully not kill each other?

trope: angst?? (i swear it started off as one), maybe hurt/comfort??, betrayal trope, forced proximity, lovers to enemies, open ending

warnings: words and mentions related to firearms and death. this is such weird timing, (matts slightly aggressive in this one folks) due the shit show caused by the recent friday video.

author’s note: ‘and the skeletons, in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up…’

also credits to anyone who has ever done anything like this. if anyone wants me to tag them, i’m fully ready to do so cause its a rlly fun pairing tbh

matt - blue | reader - pink | chris - orange | nick - purple

matt didn't have much time left. barely one half hour, before the other side would bust through the mindfully constructed door of his ‘abandoned’ cabin, in the middle of the woods. matt’s mind was scrambling more than his wounded figure. scrambling for answers while his tired and injured body hurriedly searched for guns. matt knew this would happen. trusting a girl that reminded him of himself before ‘everything’ was like knowingly falling into a bear trap. just like how the bear trap suspends it’s target in air for the entire world to judge, matt felt the same. ashamed, vulnerable and filled to the brim with pure, unadulterated rage.

matt heard his heartbeat in his goddamn head. on the verge of either passing out or drowning in a pool of his own tears, he didn't know what to choose. his pride, but most importantly his trust was just left shattered. like a few thousand, tiny pieces of an expensive glass someone purposely broke. he finally chose the latter. completely spent, matt tiredly slunk down the hardwood wall of his bedroom.

choosing to cry was easier said than done. in reality, he felt shell-shocked. replaying the last hour of one of the worst days of his life, thus carved the path for fresh, hot tears to stream down matts battered up face. the engagement was supposed to be a new beginning. it was the happiest the sturniolo family has been in years.

matt remembered his brothers. the stark difference between before and after was depressing to watch. nick was beaming. he was so happy, he finally found the love of his life and nick finally made him his. aaron, nick’s fiancé, along with nick, were decked with brown and grey suits respectively. the newly engaged couple’s childlike grins, were enough to make the saddest one in the world crack a smile. the engagement hall was big enough to fit a few hundred people, yet only the nearest and dearest to the sturniolos were present. them coupled with a few dozen guards made it seventy.

chris and matt were so stupidly happy for their beloved older brother. they kept teasing and lightly punching nick, who was getting more annoyed by the minute. after witnessing the beautiful engagement, all matt could think about was his own future with y/n. she was rough at the edges, but adored cats.

he still remembered the first time she finally smiled at him. it was after matt managed to save a stray kitten from a tree. after seeing her in that light, he made it his life’s mission to make her his. he had fallen in love and was going to tell her once she came back from the bathroom.

”chris y’know where y/n might be? i’m getting worried.” his hard headed brother was finally whipped, chris thought in his head.

thought in his head cause he was in no mood to get smacked by matt. “bro, y’need to calm the fuck down. she’ll be here.”

as if on cue, a door bust wide open. it wasn’t the bathroom door but the main door. it all happened so fucking fast. too damn fast. the horrifying sound of bullets and screams, echoed throughout the hall. the guards ate most of the bullets for dinner while some of the family got shot, a few at very critical places. the main guard, along with others, managed to whisk only nick and mark along with their parents and other cousins to safety.

chris and matt had already run off into the storage closet of the hall where chris thought a few guards were. alas, they were met with two dead and one fatally injured. they had no time to say their goodbyes while taking the nearly empty mags of three shotguns.

sounds of the huge glass chandelier falling gave the two triplets time to escape that they desperately needed. once the gunshots outside stopped, matt and chris made their getaway on some guards bike. matt and chris had been shot. grazed thankfully just on their arms and abdomen. thank the gods the other side had a couple bad shots, or the two would be bleeding to their deaths right now.

“how the fuck did they know where we were?! no one other than the people inside knew about this!” screamed chris while speeding on the bike, away from the worst ambush ever seen. matt screamed back. “i don’t fucking know! your dumbass probably told one of the girls you fucked! hang on i’m getting a call!”

“i might be dumb but i’m not a fucking idiot! i can’t fucking believe you would-” “shut up chris i can’t hear anything!” the ambush might’ve had some bad shots, but nicks phone call was a shot through the heart for matt.

nick was screaming on the other line. “your fucking girlfriend works for them! i barely saw them talking to her while i was fucking getting shot at!”

matt’s short boat ride, trip down a stormy memory river, was harshly interrupted by yelling. someone familiar was calling out his name. it didn’t create butterflies everywhere in matt’s body. not anymore. it was replaced by the urge to shoot her dead.

downstairs, y/n was yelling as if these words were the last to escape her mouth. “matt! i know you’re here! please just let me explain!” she cried, hoping it wasn’t too late. but it was. she turned around and found herself face to face with matt. y/n’s teary eyes met matt’s cold, bloodshot ones. the tension in the woody cabin was bone chilling. matt’s right hand was occupied by a pistol, aimed point-blank at y/n.

“matt-”

“just shut up y/n! just fucking shut up!” matt's loud voice boomed throughout the small living room of the two floor cabin. “i can’t fucking believe you would do this to me! i’m gonna fucking kill you!” even after saying all this, matt’s shaking hands and voice betrayed him. he didn’t really want to kill y/n, but she was the reason his entire family almost died this evening.

“matt if you could just please let me explain-”

“fuck you y/n. i’m not gonna give you time to get out of this. i fucking trusted you with my life, even if nick and chris told me not to. i knew something was up but i didn’t care. goddamnit, i fucking loved you. so much. i would’ve done anything for you-” matts tears started running their previous course on his face, yet again.

“please don’t kill me matt. just please hear me out-” y/n was terrified. she wanted to explain but she knew she really fucked up. matt was probably going to be the last one to see her… alive.

matt had had enough. he walked towards y/n and pushed her against a wall. he turned off the safety of his gun and forced it into y/n’s temple, while his left forearm was pushed against her neck, just enough to bruise. y/n didn’t fight back. “y’ wanna explain then fuckin’ explain. and do it quick cause i’m in no fuckin’ mood to ever listen to you… ever again!” with a shaky voice, y/n began her reasoning.

“i was ordered to investigate your family. your now broken relationship with the changrettas put you in a tough spot with the immunity that was granted after your father agreed to testify in that sealed murder hearing. uhm-” y/n was worried she was going to get killed for even mentioning matt’s dear father when matt was quick to push the gun further into her side to her head, all while pushing his forearm deeper into y/n’s neck, choking her. “keep going… y’fucking traitor.”

“matt- please i- can’t… breathe…” matt didn’t realise how strong of a grip he had on her neck and loosened it cause he just had to listen to her. such strong love for someone sadly can’t just vaporise no matter how much they’ve hurt them. for matt whose love was hard to come by, things just made it worse… more intense for him. he was getting contradicted by the entire fucking universe. it was becoming too much for someone even as dangerous as him.

y/n deeply inhaled and continued, trying to look anywhere except at matt’s death stare at her. “my agency sent two people undercover into the changretta family and managed to kil- uhm… eliminate or arrest them. we were going to arrest your father because he- i…” matt let out a dry chuckle, “and you told them the best time to get my dad, was the day nick gets engaged-”

y/n knew this was coming. “it wasn’t personal matt-”

“i’m so fucking done with you y/n. you’re the worst fucking bitch i’ve ever met my entire life…”

“there’s a fucking reason you dick!”

all this did was piss off matt even more. he punched the wall right next to y/n’s head out of pure agony, but she didn’t flinch. not one bit. she’s seen way worse than some pissed off guy. but this was matt, who was still her one epic love, even if it wasn’t reciprocated anymore. she was worried cause he might never trust her ever again, but she still does. that’s why she came to him completely unarmed.

matt was so overwhelmed by everything. he was just so fucking tired at this point. he never thought things would turn out the way they did. so he did the one thing he never thought he would do. he threw his pistol away from them and let go of y/n. her fucked up hair, the gun head shaped dent on her temple, and the bruise on y/n neck, piled feelings of shame on matt’s overbearing load of emotions. the dried up tears on matts face were immediately replaced with fresh ones.

he yet again, slunk down on the brown couch and supported his heavy head with shaky hands. y/n was just as tired. tired of herself. she knew she’d crossed a huge line, even if it was with the purest of intentions. seeing the sight of her everything in tears all because of her, made y/n want to hug him and kiss him and tell him that everything was gonna be okay.

she sat next to matt and continued her explanation because he needed to hear it.

“i did all this to protect your dad, matt. the two people who went undercover with the changrettas caught wind of some plan to kill your dad after his testimony… and i couldn’t let that happen. so instead, we replaced some of your guards with our people, over a few weeks so you wouldn’t get too suspicious. then we moved to make contact today only cause nick had told me, he and mark were planning to go on a vacation right after the engagement. right now your dad, mom, nick and justin are under custody but they’re safe. the immunity is granted and since your father is always privy to important information, the agency is protecting him. i have no idea where chris is. last we saw him was with you. i followed you and i sent two others to find him. and now-”

“why couldn’t you tell me y/n? i could’ve helped you-” asked matt. he was still in two minds but the mind that believed in her, overpowered his now weak reasons to kill her. “no you couldn’t have matt. i could’ve told you… any step of the way and all that would’ve done is overcomplicate things. no one if your family could know… mainly cause we believe there’s a mole in your organisation-”

“there’s no fuckin’ mole. i trust those people with my life-”

“just like you trusted me?”

“i’m sorry y/n but what i saw and how i got to know about you… i don’t know if i can believe in you. i’m just so fuckin’ tired and all i’m thinking is how the fuck am i just supposed to take your word for it…”

y/n let out a quiet sigh. “i dunno. i’m in charge to get you safely to our headquarters. but, i can’t let you outta my sight until i get to know chris’ whereabouts. and… i'm pretty sure y’know where he is. ”

“what if you’re fuckin’ tricking me into telling you where chris is?” after so long, matt actually looked at y/n. she was making a phone call. “give the phone to jimmy. the second triplet needs confirmation they’re all safe. here matt.” y/n said while giving her phone to him.

“dad?! please tell me you’re okay!” matt heard the code his father said. only they knew about this phrase. this proved to matt that it was actually his dad. after a minute long conversation, matt gave the phone back to y/n.

“no ma’am, i don’t know where he is. but i will bring both of them safely to the headquarters… yes even if that’s… the last thing i do. thank you ma’am.” y/n said before cutting the encrypted call.

“what do you mean even if it’s the last thing you do?” even after everything matt definitely did not want y/n to die. he still loved her but the trust would take some time. “it’s nothing…” she said, moments before y/n heard the noise of tires screeching on the dirt road of the forest. she was quick to instruct matt.

“stay behind me.”

he walked towards where matt threw his gun and gave it to her. “how’d you know i didn't have a gun?”

matt genuinely chuckled for the first time since this fucked up day. “y’might’ve fooled me, but i still know how to read people jus’ by looking into their eyes. and i definitely know your eyes, sweetheart…”

just before y/n could retort, the door of the cabin slammed open, to reveal a wildly shocked chris, looking at his beloved brother and the girl who was the reason he was on a wild goose chase for the past hour.

”chris, lemme explain…”

”you fucking psycho-”

author’s note 2: i would rlly appreciate any sort of comments (not straight up hate) so as to improve my writing skills and everyone’s reading experience! :) hope u liked it! also happy new years in advance!!!

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Could you write about a calamity Jane!reader who's not afraid to challenge the gods and has her gun. I've been thinking of her making an appearance during Loki and Buddha's argument where she sneaks up on Loki with no one noticing her and has her gun at his head threatening him and ending the fight right there.

And if you have room maybe love interests with Buddha, Okita, Kojiro, Simo and Tesla?

I found this picture (belongs to whoever drew it) and I felt like it fits perfectly for this!

-It had been quiet, at least for a while, this tournament was heating up, especially since the humans were showing they weren’t to be messed with, taking out some of the gods already, proving that they were way stronger than the gods initially assumed.

-You had been walking around, pouting a bit as you asked Brunnhilde when your turn was, as you were getting antsy, but she told you that you were a reserve fighter, meant for a pinch situation.

-While you did appreciate her faith in you, you still wanted to fight now! You were tired of waiting around!

-You heard what sounded like arguing up ahead and you rounded the corner, finding a large garden, seeing Buddha and Loki trying to square up with each other, with Kojiro, that human who took out Poseidon, Okita and Kondo, and Nikola and Simo who had just been passing by, and the Seven Lucky Gods.

-You grinned as Loki made the Seven Lucky Gods back off, as he wanted to take on Buddha himself, fully ready to throw hands as he pulled out his weapons.

-Everyone got ready to attack in their own way, but everyone froze as you seemingly appeared out of nowhere, pointing your gun at Loki’s head, your head dipped a bit, hiding your face due to your hat.

-Loki froze, knowing he was in danger, knowing humans could now kill gods, as his eyes looked over at you as you lifted your hat, a dangerous smile on your face as everyone’s eyes went wide, seeing you standing there, halting the fighting.

-You smirked at Loki, “Now if I’m not allowed to fight yet, then you’re not allowed either, darlin’- so knock it off!”

-Loki was angered that you were speaking to him in such a way, but he was also slightly turned on, thinking the way you were acting was very attractive- seeing you so dominant.

-Loki put his weapons away and you lowered your gun, putting it back in your holster as they all agreed to not fight, at least for now. Loki turned to you, glaring at you, “And you- mind your place woman.”

-You grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down so you made him look up at you, “My place is above yours little man- don’t make me put you there.”

-Buddha’s eyes went wide before he stifled a laugh, seeing you handling Loki so easily while the trickster god seemed to only grow to like you more, a doofy smile appearing on his face as you dropped him and he fell, looking in complete bliss.

-You turned to Buddha and the other humans who all looked impressed to see you, as many of them recognized you as one of the reserve fighters, as Brunnhilde had assured them all, despite being a woman- you weren’t to be underestimated.

-Like you were a completely different person you beamed brightly, running over and throwing your arms around Simo, who instantly froze, unused to the affections of a woman, “Simo~~” Buddha couldn’t help but grin, seeing that you were a woman with a wide personality, but you were also quite dangerous as he finally busted into laughter, “You’re an interesting person!”

-You beamed at the compliment, keeping Simo hostage in your arms as he struggled to get free, while Kojiro couldn’t help but grin at him, knowing you weren’t going to let him go, at least any time soon.

-You were a dangerous person when you wanted to be, but that’s what many of your friends, the other warriors around you, liked you- as you were as affectionate as you were deadly.

[will80sbyers]

To be real there are plenty of toxic byler fans on Twitter, plenty! Not saying they’re all toxic, and obvs bylers on Tumblr aren’t perfect, it’s just that Twitter thrives off of hate and that’s the route a lot of ppl take on there to get engagements. And I can’t vouch for every byler just cuz we like the same ship. We’ve got 300k+ of us over here, there are bound to be shitty bylers no matter how much you keyboard warrior their asses into the sun.

I just find that a lot of the toxic bylers on Twitter put targets on all our backs in attempts to stoop to toxic milevens’ level. Their idea of defending byler or will sometimes involves shitting on el in really gross ways/rooting for theories that el dies at the end of s5, going way further than they need to to ‘even the score’. Maybe some of them are doing it ironically, but I have seen it plenty of times seriously to the point where I had to gtfo of there.

There’s a difference between calling out valid criticisms vs. taking things just as far as them. I’m certain you aren’t in that wheelhouse, but I get where people are coming from. It’s not like I see milevens going out of their way to defend will from fellow milevens, so it just goes to show some bylers have the decency to call each other out for toxicity.

There's toxic assholes in every fandom obviously, but Bylers are not often being as toxic as m*levens have been, not even the twitter ones, but here I'm talking about the Tumblr ones or I would have written this on twitter not here, if you want to do call outs for twitter bylers why are you doing it on Tumblr? Do it on twitter! (Not you, in general for the posts I've seen in the tag)

We usually tag properly and mind our business but they don't grant us the same attitude here, plus they have been homophobic multiple times and more recently even in extreme ways on twitter since you mentioned that, because I still see what happens there

Bylers have always been better in general as of fandom behaviour and we have gotten tired of being called crazy every single day only because we ship a half canon ship and I have no mercy left for any of them at this point

Obviously this doesn't mean I approve of serious insults or death threats or stuff like that but to be completely honest I've seen more mlvns being extremely aggressive than I've seen Bylers and believe me since S4 I've seen almost EVERYTHING in the stranger things fandom every day unfortunately because I've been hyperfixating on it so I'm here every day

[rainbow-nerdss]

2024 fic roundup!

I was tagged by @exhuastedpigeon and @chronicowboy to share my roundup, so here goes!

I posted 20 fics and 247k words this year! I may have posted more fics some years, but this is for sure my highest word count! (and even though some of what I posted this year was written in 2023, there's even more in my google docs just waiting to be finished, so the numbers just about balance out!)

I have to say, looking at some of these, I can't believe it's only been a year!

So, here's what I wrote:

January:

In a fix, E, 3k

He didn’t know how it happened, but about three steps down he heard a creak, then a crunch, and the next thing he knew the stair was giving way from under him. One leg fell straight through the stairs while the other bent behind him at a strange angle. “Ow,” he groaned, moments before the realization of the severity of the situation hit him. Or; Buck gets himself into a bit of a sticky situation, and Eddie helps him out.

A Minor Delay, M, 43k

Eddie looks back at Buck with an uncertain expression. “You wanna grab some breakfast before you go home? I’m starved.” “Sure,” Buck agrees. He doesn’t miss the way Eddie’s shoulders relax, something like relief in his expression which quickly fades into a tired smile. Eddie thought he would say no, Buck thinks. And then: He asked anyway. *** Almost a year after the bridge collapse, a lot has changed. The team are scattered—Bobby and Athena on their Honeymoon, Hen on adoptive parent's leave, and Buck and Eddie... They may still work together, still have movie nights with Chris whenever they can, but things have changed. With Maddie and Chimney's wedding around the corner, Buck tries to make it perfect. And maybe, along the way, he might figure out why everything still feels... wrong.

March

Lime Jell-O, T, 3k

Eddie Diaz didn't panic. Or, well... Maybe he did. Sometimes. But he was working on it.

Fight Through it, G, 3k

"Bobby and Athena's cruise ship is missing." Buck’s entire body went numb. No. Eddie reached out, brushing his knuckles against Buck's. Buck wanted to tangle their fingers together, hold Eddie's hand in a vice grip and never let go. But he couldn't, not without giving themselves away. He clenched his own fingers into a fist instead.

April

Makes me dizzy, E, 29k

Buck watches Tommy walk away and he feels… Huh. He’s not sure exactly how he feels, honestly. Happy? Relieved? His lips still tingle with the memory of it, the pressure left by Tommy’s kiss. He’s frozen on the spot, right where Tommy left him. He laughs, the quiet sound echoing through his empty apartment. He knows Tommy had to go, had to work, but Buck stands there, watching the spot where he’d just walked out, and he wishes he’d reached for him. Pulled him back in for another kiss, more than just a faint brush of lips, more than a question. He wants to wrap his arms around Tommy’s shoulders, pull him close, lick into his mouth. Shit, the things he wants to do. And it’s all new, it’s strange and different and wonderful, because when Tommy kissed him, he felt stubble scratch against his own, and Tommy’s fingers tilted his face up, not down, and even though Buck hadn’t quite managed to set his hand down, hovering it over Tommy’s shoulder in his surprise, he knows what he’d find there—broad shoulders, muscled back, so unlike anything Buck’s known before. But he’d wanted it. He wants it.

May (Here we have the start of @911actions fics!)

'cause I've waited my whole life, 2k, T

Buck fell into making videos on tiktok by accident, really, but he loves it—almost as much as his followers love catching sight of his boyfriend in the background. Not even close to how much he loves Eddie, though. The videos just help them out, along the way.

June

no getting away now, T, 5k

He enjoyed talking to her on his breaks, as much as he could enjoy anything at that point in his life. He enjoyed discussing the merits of different coffee creamers, enjoyed complaining about the printers and gossipping about co-workers, enjoyed word of the day calendars with May and donuts in the break room, but he’d assumed that was all there was to it. He’d figured once he left, they’d forget he was ever there in the first place. or; 3 times Eddie met up with his friends from Dispatch after returning to the 118, and 1 time he goes to visit them

July

I mustache you a question, T, 4k

Eddie's life is in shambles. He grows a mustache. It, somehow, fixes everything.

Fever, T, 3k

Buck sits on the edge of the bed, reaches out to put a hand on Eddie’s head—he’s warm. Too warm. Now that Buck’s awake and paying attention, now his eyes are adjusted to the darkness, he can see the flush of Eddie’s cheeks and hear the snuffly sound of his breaths. *** Or: Eddie gets sick. Buck looks after him.

August

Where there's smoke, T, 37k

His eyelids are heavy. His lungs ache. The smoke is dense and thick, slowly suffocating him. Eddie feels himself drift as Buck’s voice penetrates the smoke, cuts through the fog in his brain. “Eddie, stay with me. Stay with me, Eds.” Eddie wants to stay. He wants to open his eyes and see Buck. He doesn’t want to leave. But he’s so tired, and sleep is calling him. Maybe it will be okay. Maybe his dreams will be sweet. Maybe there’ll be peace, there. And maybe, if he just rests for a little while, he’ll be able to find his way back.

September (A busy month!!)

don't dream it, be it, T, 4k

When Eddie hears Hen's plans for the weekend, he's immediately on board. Fun costumes, singing along, and time with the people he loves sounds like exactly what he needs to help Buck get back to his old self. or: The firehouse gang goes to see Rocky Horror

on my way to believing, T, 4k

It was a regular day, nothing special about it, really. Buck fell asleep on the couch while they were watching a movie after a long shift, and he woke up to a blanket covering him and the sound of Eddie humming quietly from the kitchen. When Buck walked out to him, he saw him dancing along to music playing through headphones, doing the dishes. He was happy, practically glowing. He hates headphones, but he’d put them on to avoid waking Buck, and that was it. Buck stood there in the doorway and told Eddie everything. How he felt, how he’d been waiting until the time was right, how he didn’t expect Eddie to feel the same but he just had to put it out there, couldn’t keep this a secret between them. And Eddie might have been surprised at first, but he felt the same. He feels the same. And today, finally, after so long, they’re going on a date. Their first date. His last first date, if Buck has any say in the matter.

I didn't know (that it could be good), E, 27k

They're friends, that's all there is to it. Until Eddie lets himself into Buck's apartment unannounced, and finds him in a compromising position. That should be nothing, just something to laugh about down the line, except afterwards, it's like a switch has flipped, and neither of them can get it out of their minds. The solution? They need to get it out of their systems. Just one time, and things will go back to normal. But one time turns to two, which turns to more nights spent together than apart, and still, they haven't actually spoken about what any of this means for them. They're still just friends, right?

Keep it down, T, 6k

Ravi doesn’t think he’s ever been this tired. He’s less than a week into his probational year, only two full shifts under his belt with the 118, but he already knows firefighting was the right choice. He feels fulfilled, like he’s really helping people, even if he hasn’t been allowed out on more than a handful of basic calls so far. But he’s also, as previously mentioned, fucking exhausted. And his new neighbor will not keep the fucking noise down.

October

touching me, touching you, E, 7k

After dinner, Buck wedges himself on the couch between Hen and Eddie. Maybe, if he’s squeezed between them, he won’t be able to feel that weird creeping sensation over his skin anymore. He drums his fingers on his knee, trying to focus on the TV. Eddie jolts next to him. “Sorry, did I bump you?” Buck asks. Eddie shakes his head. “Nah, sorry. Just..” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, and Buck feels it again—that pressure, running over his nose and his cheeks and— Eddie drops his hand and the feeling stops. Wait. Or, Buck and Eddie wake up one morning able to feel each other's touch. They make the most of it.

never believe it's not so, T, 6k

Maddie Buckley never expected to enjoy hanging out with her little brother's best friend. She just didn't think they could have all that much in common. Turns out they've got more in common than she could have expected. And she can't tell Buck. In which Maddie has magic. And so does Buck. And so does Eddie. And she can't tell either of them. Or: 5 times Maddie has to listen to Buck and Eddie talk about each other without spilling their secrets, and one time they actually talk to each other.

November

just soothes the soul, M, 2k

It’s quiet, apart from the music still playing over the speakers, Old Time Rock and Roll fading out, another equally upbeat song starting right after. The contrast of it is what gets to Buck. Whatever Eddie had been doing when Buck showed up, he’d seemed… different, than he’s been lately. Buck turns his head to look at Eddie properly. "You shaved."

Jee-Yun's Big Day, G, 5k

“So, Jee,” Mommy says. “You remember how we visited Daddy at work before?” Jee-Yun nods. “Captain Bobby says you can come to work with me for a whole day!” Daddy looks excited, and Jee thinks about it. Daddy’s work is pretty fun, she thinks. Captain Bobby cooked some really yummy pasta, and Uncle Buck is always there, and so are Aunt Hen and Uncle Eddie. “Will I be like a real firefighter?” she asks. “Like Uncle Buck?” Mommy laughs, and Daddy looks a little bit annoyed. “You know, you could be! Or you could be a paramedic, like me and Aunt Hen, right?” Jee-Yun thinks about it. She chews a piece of cold carrot, then swallows it. “I think I want to be a firefighter. Parmemedic is too hard to say.”

December

Wherever you find love (make it last all year), M, 12k

Buck first met Eddie on Christmas. This is the story of seven Christmases they spend together.

and finally, I just posted the final chapter of:

Somebody to Someone, E, 32k

Buck wasn't really thinking when he applied to be on the reality dating show Love Island, beyond the fact that he was tired of being alone. Now, he's out of the villa, trying to find some stable ground beneath his feet, but things keep getting in the way. His relationship with Taylor falls apart, he doesn't know what he wants to do with his newfound fame, and then, his tires are slashed by what looks like a stalker. The answer to the last problem, at least as far as Bobby is concerned, is Eddie Diaz — a bodyguard. Buck's not convinced.

Thank you so much to everyone who read even one of these fics, I probably wouldn't have gotten through this year without you, and I mean that!

Tagging some lovely people 🥰🥰

@epicbuddieficrecs @slowlyfoggydestiny @diazsdimples @diazheartsbuckley @speaknowbuckley

@buddieboos @dangerpronebuddie @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @disasterbuck @spotsandsocks

@theotherbuckley @your-catfish-friend @steadfastsaturnsrings @aspecbuddie @daddy-kinard

@inell @darkrose6578 @elvensorceress @ladydorian05 @lovelettertothewise

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

Reaper AU oneshot

so I wanted to share this one-shot however it is heavily context dependent so; basically at one point Grimm (cole) had taken up the mantle and transformed into a replacement for the cursed realm. Eventually his soul split in two leaving Grimm (cole) and “pree-em” to remain as the cursed realm.

Grimm, accurate to his nickname, is basically a grimm reaper, and has soul related abilities.

The space they’re existing in within this one shot is a dreamscape created by ‘Pree-em’.

Content warnings: blood, physical violence (in a weird ghost way), tentacles.

The blood was slick and warm under Grimm’s feet. It was just high enough to brush along the top of his toes, and clung to his skin in a way it shouldn’t. That, as he looked down, made him realize he wasn’t wearing shoes. The floor— if it was that— of blood spread out long and far enough you couldn’t see anything else. It was shiny and dark, the nothingness of the void Grimm found himself in reflected off it, disturbed only by the rippling of his footsteps. It was gross.

He’d never really liked blood, he’d dealt with it of course, as a ninja, but he didn’t like its sight. Or consistency, though the blood under him was weirdly watery, as if it'd never had a chance to clot. That, of course, was because it wasn’t actually real.

“Pre-em,” he called out, voice echoing and tired, “why am I here.”

Nothing replied for a long time. The silence was strung out, heavy and loud in its own right. He’d never really liked silence either, thought he’d become accustomed to that, too. Mom used to get quiet, when she was sick and couldn’t speak properly. Then when she was gone, the house got quiet too, no music and no voices, just the occasional sound of cleaning. Grimm’s thoughts drifted along, remembering various sounds to fill the silence. It was when his memory came along the sound of a baby crying that Pre-em showed himself. It started with ripples along the blood, seemingly with no cause. They made a slow path towards Grimm, as if there was some rock skidding along the surface. Maybe, Grimm mused, there was.

Finally, Pre-em was in front of him. Grimm had blinked and suddenly his own face was staring at him. Well, staring down at him. Pre-em had shoes, because of course he did. His face was flat, big eyes empty and half lidded. Unimpressed.

“So?” Grimm prompted, crossing his arms, “why am I here?”

Pre-em did not reply.

“Is Ms. D here?”

“No,” came too fast.

Grimm blinked, looking him once over. He seemed the same as before, long white kimono crossed the wrong way, long locs tied in the back, red lining the under of his eyes. There was no difference.

“Are they still mad at you?” Grimm asked, and Pre-em’s nose scrunched. As if he was offended by the very question, “what? It’s a fair question, last time I saw you, you nearly overthrew them and nearly—well.”

“They have forgiven me, by their word,” Pre-em said, “though they don’t trust me, anymore.

“I can’t blame them for that.”

“They say I am too much like my predecessor, their sister.”

Grimm thought back to the look in Morro’s eyes sometimes, and the stories Ms. D had told him. He looked back up at Pre-em, how green he was, “maybe you are, I mean, Pre-em,” they shrugged, “you did the same thing she did.”

“I did not,” Pre-em snapped, “I’m nothing like that old, dead hag. You ought to call me the Preeminent now, too.”

“Pre-em, why am I here?” they repeated instead, dodging the ‘request’, “I know you didn’t bring me here just to—to talk. What do you want?”

Pre-em stopped, eyes snapping to Grimm’s face, eyes narrowing. Grimm could practically hear what he was thinking. Yada-yada, you cannot tell me what to do, yada-yada and—

“You don’t know a thing about me,” bingo, right on the money, “I brought you here because I—“

Pre-em paused, arms leveling to his side. His sleeves were long, touching the ground— the blood. Though they didn’t get tainted, when his arms were raised to press his hands against his chest, they were clean. Pristinely white.

“I am starting to— feel things.”

“Like—?“

“Like joy, I have— I’ve felt happiness,” Pre-em continued, a fix between his eyebrows, he seemed confused, “I thought I was incapable.”

Grimm was silent for a long time, a matching expression to Pre-em’s. If they had to guess, they’d guess Pre-em was scared.

“…You’re feeling— emotions? Then? Good ones?” Grimm questioned, and without thinking about it he reached out and grabbed a hold of Pre-em’s sleeves, “isn’t that good? That’s what you wanted!”

Pre-em yanked away from him and his hands, stumbling back. His steps kicked up blood, the blood landing on the top of Grimm’s foot.

“No! No this is— I do not want it!” Pre-em said, throwing his arm out in what seemed to be defense, “it’s too much! I was— content with feeling only what you say are bad emotions and now I am— stuck with this unfamiliar force!”

Grimm’s expression was confused, “but, Pre-em—“

“We split for this reason! This hurts! Take it back, all of it! I don’t want it!” He said desperately, grabbing Grimm’s wrists tightly, “take it!”

He shoved one of Grimm’s hands against his chest. Grimm flinched, trying to take a step back, feet stumbling under themselves, “I—I don’t—“

“Do it!”

Pre-em shoved Grimm’s hand through his chest, into the cavern where his ribs and his lungs should’ve been, or would’ve been if he was ever human. Inside of Pre-em was magic, wispy and thick, almost wet. Grimm tried to drag his hand out of it but Pre-em would not permit it. His grip was as strong—stronger than Grimm’s and so Grimm’s hand remained thick into that magic.

“Pre-em—“ Grimm gasped, “I can’t— I can’t do that. I can’t just take it out!”

“Yes you can! We’re the same soul—your abilities—!”

“They separated us! We’re two now!” Grimm yelled over his voice. Pre-em’s mouth clicked shut, staring wide eyed at Grimm. Grimm’s mouth felt thick, he swallowed before he spoke, “we’re two different souls, remember..?”

Grimm’s hand remained limp in his chest, where he could grab nothing, “ and your soul isn’t in your chest, you know that.”

Pre-em’s hand clutching his wrist slowly let go, fingers uncurling around Grimm’s wrist like a snake uncoiling from its prey. Grimm dragged his hand out, wincing at the feeling of Pre-em’s insides dragging. Once their hand was back against their own chest, he stared down at it. It was shaking, the same green-teal color as always, not even a trace of Pre-em.

Grimm stepped back from him, the quiet sloshing of blood the only sound between them. His feet were red, but his hands were clean. Pre-em stood still, hands hanging limply at his side. He was staring at the ground, and Grimm could not see his mouth. Quietly, tentacles began to poke out from beneath his kimono, obscuring his clean feet, slipping down into the blood like it was deeper than what Grimm stood on.

“Pre-em…?”

Grimm’s voice was quiet, and worried. Pre-em shook his head, and raised it to look them in the eyes. Tentacles slipped out of the blood by Grimm’s feet. They didn’t move away from it, wincing only once when Pre-em’s smallest once brushed their bare ankle.

“…Pre-em.”

“I hate you,” Pre-em spit, below his ‘breath’, “I hate you, Cole, you’ve never done anything right. I thought— I believed you could help, for once.”

The tentacle wrapped around Grimm’s ankle.

“But you can’t.”

The tentacle yanked hard and fast, dragging him off his feet and onto his back. Reaper gasped, kicking out uselessly once before he realized the blood was— he was sinking. Tentacles were crawling up his legs and spinning around his arms, one curling around his neck—

Pre-em stood above him, glowing in his white. It was almost wispy, the way the white glowed and traveled into the black. Pre-em’s eyes were flat, again, and had they been one, maybe familiar. He was a teethed thing, even with his mouth closed. Grimm breathed heavily, lungs not expanding.

Pre-em leaned down into the blood, sinking with it on his knees. Two hands slipped to cradle Grimm’s face, almost lovingly, “why did you make me.”

Grimm’s eyes were wide, the hands were burning on his face, “I didn’t— I didn’t make you.”

“Yes you did,” Pre-em hissed, “you told everyone that I hated you, those memories, so badly that I split us in two but that was a lie! You hated being me, you couldn’t stand it, being so— being cursed.”

He leaned down until his forehead hit Grimm’s, “you hated me, so you made me.”

Blood slipped into Grimm’s mouth, it tasted like copper.

“I don’t want this.”

Grimm wondered distantly— why blood? Neither of them bled red, and Pre-em never had. It was a foreign substance to the both of them, at this point. Grimm tugged against one of the tentacles squeezing his wrists, and surprisingly it loosened. He tugged the rest of his hand free, it was stained red, the only bit of it remaining green being the palm of his hand. He led his hand up to Pre-em’s cheek, cradling it how Pre-em held his face.

He dug his nails into Pre-em’s cheekbone, smearing blood along his cheek, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not.”

Grimm’s nails cut into his skin, digging into the magic there. Pre-em had no muscle, and when Grimm ripped into it, all they saw was thick, wet, color.

“…I’m not,” he admitted. His eyes were empty, eerie in their wideness, “I hate you. I never want to be you again.”

Pre-em stared down at him, expression blank. His hair hung around them like a dark curtain, but there was no light to hide from in this place.

He pulled back finally, Grimm’s fingers sliding and tearing out of his cheek with a wet, gross sound. His hands left Grimm’s face, gently almost. One hand settled along Grimm’s forehead and then began to push down. He tipped their head over into the blood, the column of their neck in an arch.

Grimm’s head sank beneath the blood, the red becoming black behind his eyes, and when he sat back up in his own bed. The lights were off, and their blankets were on the floor.

There was a mirror across from his bed and when he looked into it, he was clean.

Meeting over, he guessed.

[ropebuny]

I just want someone who will not leave when things get difficult

[faunandfloraas]

"Seungmin would be SO hot if he got muscle like, can you imagine?" You would be hotter if you shut your mouth but we can't always get what we want so <3

[shigussy]

i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny

also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade

-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)

-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)

-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)

-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)

my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath

in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do

[anonymolly]

.

[bonefall]

where’s that little horror piece about kits never growing up in Starclan? because I remember it so vividly but I can’t find it.

The one about Bright Stream?

Weird that it's so hard to find! It's probably because it's got such heavy tags lmao.

I really mean it though like, canon's permakitten system and the idea that Bright Stream is up there, forever taking care of fetus children who were filled by sudden knowledge and yet never grow past that point absolutely horrifies me. Jesus Christ. I don't know how anyone reads that final scene in Path of Stars and isn't filled with itching, white-hot existential dread, man.

Sometimes you just gotta write horror about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dervampireprince]

I just rewatched moonknight and your audios are literally the only thing keeping me alive in that somewhat dead fandom THANK YOU 😭😭🙏

i do feel adrift making moon knight stuff still so thank you

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pictures and things

[sysig]

Guess who :3c (Patreon)