#returnal out here reminding me of the great truths yet again
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vaguely-concerned · 19 days ago
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one thing I have to keep reremembering every time I'm playing a soulslike/similar kind of difficult game -- and that I wish I could internalize elsewhere in my life as well -- is that you always, always have to suffer through the long dark of an inexplicable failcringe era before you can emerge into a fresh new dawn of competence. faceplanting into humiliating failure in ways you hadn't even conceived of before on a loop can sometimes be the herald of great and wondrous things to come soon. don't be so quick to abandon yourself in the early murk of daybreak because you think you just suck!!!
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ozzgin · 10 months ago
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Request/Idea-
Male Yandere Lawyer x Female Embroider Reader (a lady who works as a tailor is fine too)
Imagine a man falling head over heels for that newly employed lady who hand embroiders beautiful handkerchiefs in a luxury shop he visits to get his custom suits! And he just trying to coax her into dating him, marrying him, and becoming his stay at home wife (and mother of his children eventually) 🥰🤭
Age difference? I need some DILF Daddy energy more in my life (but don’t make him an actual father…yet)
P.S. I adore your OCs and writing. And your artwork is way too fucking good! You’re art is just *chef’s kiss* infuckingcredible
-👘
Ooh, you know what this reminds me of? I have a yaoi volume from Scarlet Beriko, “Queen and the tailor”, about an interior designer that visits a legendary tailor whose suits will supposedly help you achieve success. The tailor turns out to be a scary looking, blunt man but nonetheless extremely talented. I liked the premise a lot, so it’s definitely interesting to try out a different perspective.
In this case I have the image of a patient, soft-spoken reader and a hurried, short tempered lawyer. Comically different but in a way that eventually works out, you know? Also thank you for the kind words!
Yandere!Lawyer x Embroiderer!Reader Headcanons
Featuring a Reader that is blissfully unaware the lawyer she just stared dating has their entire life together already sorted out.
Content: female reader, age gap, older yandere, obsessive behavior
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Your eyes begin to hurt mildly, so you look out the window and blink repeatedly, trying to refresh your poor sight. Such detailed works always strain you terribly, but you love seeing the finished result. Others must, too, given your handkerchiefs are often sold out the very same day. Right before your needle pierces the silk canvas anew, the door opens with a burst and you jolt. An older man in a suit, arguing loudly over the phone. He’s drumming his fingers over the counter, eyes darting around in search for an attendant. You know the type quite well, so you hurry over with the hoop still in your hand. “Might I help you with anything?” You mouth discreetly. He turns to you, stares for a couple of seconds, and promptly ends his call.
Out of all the places, he certainly didn’t expect regretting his rusty, unpolished flirting skills in a luxury tailor shop. Yet here he is now, clumsily mumbling something about his new suit he’s come to pick up and wondering how to connect that with your number. The name’s the easy part, as it’s neatly and conveniently printed out on the little badge pinned to your collar. Everything else, not so much. You excuse yourself and return moments later with his order. Shit. You tilt your head, confused by the delayed response, worrying whether you forgot something. Next time. He’ll figure it out for sure next time he comes here.
If there’s one good thing about his career, it’s that his eyes have been trained to spot every detail. For example the embroidery hoop you gently held while speaking to him, so he knows exactly what his next custom order will be. Truth be told, he didn’t anticipate your popularity and long waiting times, but a calculated raised tone with a sprinkle of intimidation has convinced the employee to assign him to you as earliest priority. Whether he can flirt remains to be seen, but arguing with others? Child’s play.
“Thank you for coming again today.” You bow slightly and extend the gift bag. “Although, I must say…I’ve never seen you using these before. What has caused your sudden interest in handkerchiefs?” Rather bold of you to begin such conversations, but your curiosity is too great. No matter how hard you try, you can’t imagine why a blunt, nonchalant man like him would abruptly become passionate about embroidery. A lover? You smile faintly at the idea. Whoever it is, they’ve taken quite the challenge upon themselves. The lawyer frowns at the inquiry. It seems you’re just as observant as him. Maybe this shall be the pretext he can finally cling onto. So he presents it in the factual truth you’d hear in a courthouse: it’s his excuse to see you. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. Well now, isn’t it just silly? He could’ve simply asked. Buying countless expensive handmade items instead of plainly confessing his intentions…He stumbles, flustered. The same man whose ruthless reputation has even reached your humble ears is anxiously awaiting your response with a deep blush on his face.
The childlike innocence doesn’t last long. You’ve agreed to date him and that’s great, but he’s a man with little time that has known exactly what he wants for many years. When he laid his eyes on you he didn’t imagine cheesy coffee dates as you discuss your favorite color and cautiously breach the topic of intimacy. What’s the point? He’s already certain he’ll spend the rest of his life with you. Skip the unnecessary steps. On the other hand, you’re not as cooperative as he’d wish. Truly, the tangible proof that opposites attract. You’re always calm and take your time with everything. It’s almost frustrating how easygoing you are. When asked when you’re moving in with him, you just smiled and wondered out loud what could be wrong with your small studio above the shop. Marriage? Good question, you never thought about it.
Oh, the irony. Last time a client was being particularly difficult, your lawyer boyfriend pulled him out by the collar under the mortified stares of the other attendants and shoppers. The exact attitude he himself would’ve shown before, yet this time it’s different. Of course it is, it involves you. His thin patience runs out if it’s you. That’s all there is to it. Can you blame a man for following his heart? They say you should always chase your dreams; he prefers hunting them down efficiently, and the shotgun is pointed in your direction. His sweet, exquisite prey he can never get enough of.
Finally you agree to move in with him. Your hesitation was maddening and he’d started coming up with downright psychotic alternatives to convince you, such as your studio burning down after a vicious attack of some unknown hooligans. So it was rather wise of you not to push someone that knows the law like the back of his hand, even if you aren’t aware of it yet. He enthusiastically guides you around your new forever home, omitting unimportant details. The spare office he emptied for a future nursery? You’ll get to that later.
He can’t wait to spoil you. See, that’s the advantage of dating an older man. He’s gotten his life sorted out a long time ago. All that was left was finding you. You just need to be a darling and behave. He knows you will. After all, you’re his talented little embroideress that won’t have to worry about anything else ever again.
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sukirichi · 5 months ago
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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 008 ]
“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”
c/w. modern royal au. infidelity. angst. gaslighting. toxic characters. toxic relationships. mentions of neglect and abuse. hurt and comfort. unedited.
notes. thank you to everyone who waited patiently, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3 this will be the beginning of kiyoomi arc!
wc. 11k
series masterlist | next
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[ EIGHT ] all they keep asking me is if I’m gonna be your bride – the only kind of girl they see is a one-night or a wife
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The Kingdom of Inarizaki was at a loss whether to celebrate the early return of the latest married couple from their honeymoon. The couple seemed to be doing great – according to the tabloids, anyway. When they arrived, the Princes and their wives waved to the people, all eager for a glimpse of the infamous couple who had married for love. For two years, society had their eyes on you – the shy, reserved noblewoman who caught the eye and heart of their one and only Crown Prince Suna Rintaro. And oh, what a wedding it was, broadcasted all over the world and celebrated like a holiday.
What the world didn’t know was that it was an entirely different story behind the Palace walls.
You may share a bedroom, but never the bed. You’d been acquainted with the couch for the next few nights, only seeing your husband once in the mornings before he left to do his duties, and every now and then when the Queen wanted to have dinner. Not that you were complaining – the space was most appreciated. Without Suna lingering, there’d be less reminders of how much of a fool he took you. A naïve, young woman who really deluded herself into believing a Prince could want her. Although…
Suna didn’t not want you, either.
In the few spaces in between, he would look for you. He would make small talk and ask if you’ve eaten. If you liked breakfast, which was a silly question, since it was always tea and waffles. If you enjoyed yourself while he was away, this, again, was a silly question. You spent the mind–numbing hours blaming yourself for being in this predicament. That, perhaps, if you had just been brave to walk away that night you found out the truth, then you wouldn’t be out here wondering if the maids’ whispers were true – that Suna spent most of his nights at Belleview Manor, because quote unquote, “he was unwelcome in his own quarters.”
As if somehow it was your fault he did not feel comfortable to sleep under the same roof with you.
Sighing, you flipped your novel closed. No one had given you official duties yet, other than the blatantly obvious one of giving the Crown Prince an heir. ‘They will have such sleepless nights!’, the Queen’s goons crooned. ‘So young and virile, they are, we’ll have a new Crown Prince in no time!’ Oh, if only it were that easy. If there were to be a Prince, Iris would most likely be the mother, considering he saw her more often than you did. And how funny of a thought that was – you wanted distance from him, yet something died inside you little by little the colder your room got.
“Since we have returned, my schedule will be full.”
You glanced up from where you sat. Suna had sauntered back into the room, his tie loosened; hair messed up like he ran his fingers through it several times. Already, a servant stood beside him to comb his hair back neatly. You couldn’t help but stare. How long had it been since you combed his hair for him? You knew he hated it when they gelled it back. He preferred it messy and unkempt, saying his bedroom hair felt most natural. The bedroom hair he’s shown only to you in the quiet breaks of the night when he was in your bed.
The bedroom hair Iris had seen, as well.
Just the thought of it forces a smile on your face. Standing up, you brushed off the imaginary dust off your skirt. Less than a week in the Palace, and you were already so miserable. You could at least try to look less bothered by his unrequited affections.
“Do what you must.”
Once his hair had been brushed to perfection, Suna gestured for his servant to step away. The man politely bowed down before exiting the room. “I mean to say,” he continued, stepping closer now that there was no one else around. Your breath hitched the closer he got, but you dared not move, not even when his warm, familiar hand cups the curve of your cheek. “The meetings I must attend and people to deal with will take up most of my time.”
You knew what he was trying to say – that he wouldn’t be around, and you had to entertain yourself in his absence. Gently, you take a step back from his touch, watching as an unreadable expression crosses his face.
“And as I have said, do what you must. I have my own duties to fulfill as well.”
“You do not sound bothered by this.”
“Why should I be?” you shrugged, “If I am to be stuck with you for the rest of my life, surely I can enjoy what little time left I have for myself.”
Suna’s lips thinned. “You could act a little less eager to get rid of me.”
“On the contrary, I have no intention of leaving.”
“So I will see you tonight?”
“If we run into each other at the palace, yes, yes you will.”
If he seemed discontent with your half–hearted response, he did not show it. Must be the practiced regality and composure befitting for a Crown Prince like him – all lazy, yet wary, watching eyes. He, too, must know the true meaning behind your words. There was no need to pretend.
You both knew Suna would run into Belleview Manor as soon as the night ends, and his duties for the day had been tended to. Meanwhile, his wife would stay up all night in her couch.
Not quite waiting for him, but not quite imagining if he slept better at her side, either.
It was an unspoken deal between you two already. So he leaves without another word, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding when the door finally slams shut.
Tears prick at your eyes for the umpteenth time. You were tired of this. Tired of not knowing where you truly were in his life – were you his wife, his friend? After you’d heard of his passion and dedication to Iris, you weren’t so evil to stop him from seeing her. He loved her first. And you of all people should know the pain of not having the one person you wanted most. To him, she was his unattainable treasure. She was already making him smile before you even came to his life. She was already offering companionship and the comfort he desperately needed in this tiresome world of politics and power. She was his solace in all this chaos.
And you… you were just his wife. And without a baby in your belly, you might as well be just another useless figure in the Palace.
You refused to be so.
You may be worthless to him as his wife, for you truly couldn’t have his heart, but you refused to be a worthless person. Deep down, you knew you weren’t. It was just the title of ‘Princess’ that made you feel incapable and short. Did that mean you weren’t meant to be Princess, then? Should you go back to your manor, learning how to handle the household and managing the family business like your parents taught?
If you were not for Suna, did that mean you were not for the Crown, as well?
You bit your lip in contemplation. There was only one person who could provide you a solution to this.
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“It is not every day I am summoned by a Princess,” a smooth, deep voice filtered through the garden. Smiling, you stood up to greet the Third Prince. A curtsy, a bow, and soon you two were sipping tea – the momentary peace a guise of what was to come. Kita must have sensed it, too, his gaze flitting over your pinched face with understanding and patience. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Surely we are not here to discuss the pleasantries of your honeymoon.”
You grimaced. “Definitely not. There were no pleasantries to begin with.”
His face fell.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Are you… My apologies. I’m not sure how to proceed with this.”
Nodding, you set your tea town. You had a feeling he truly meant his apology, which felt good, seeing as most of the Princes had too much pride to know the word ‘sorry.’ But you hd always known that Prince Kita was unlike the other Princes – he had more honor, and a stronger sense of morality compared to his brothers. Maybe it was due to his being raised by his mother, who was a lawyer, and therefore was not so exposed to the greed and competition experienced by the other Princes.
Whatever it was, he was just different. And you could rely on him to be truthful, too.
“Have you always known about them?” you muttered, refusing to look at the Prince’s face in fear of being met with pity. That was the last thing you wanted – to be seen as the poor, unwanted wife. “Iris and Rintaro?”
“I have.”
“I see.”
Kita sighed. “Please don’t misunderstand, Princess. I never meant to keep it from you. None of us did – except for those truly involved. It was just… I grew up with them, too. Keiji and I were only a year ahead of Rintaro and Iris. When I heard the Crown Prince had become acquainted with a foreign royal scholar, we didn’t think too much of it. Her sudden marriage with Kiyoomi surprised us all, and none of us would’ve thought that her friendship with Rintaro would turn into something more.”
“You don’t need to explain all of this to me, Your Highness.”
“Perhaps, but…” reaching over the table, the Prince squeezed your knuckle. You chuckled, not having realized you’d balled up your hands into a fist. It turned out you couldn’t fool anyone, not even yourself, to act like you didn’t care how much it all hurt. “I do not want you to think I am not on your side.”
“You do not need to be on my side. He is your brother.”
“Blood means little to me when my own kind is cruel to others,” he retorted, looking offended you would suggest otherwise. “I have always been against it, Princess. I told him from the beginning that to covet one’s brother’s wife is one thing, but to involve someone else, all for his selfish reason of ascending a throne that was always rightfully his just seemed heartless.”
Heartless. Gods. To know that your husband was capable of being cruel was one thing, but to hear it coming from his own brother’s lips was another.
“But Rintaro is Rintaro. Of course he is stubborn.”
“Indeed, he is,” Prince Kita sighed in defeat, leaning back against his seat as he stroked his chin in thought. “Princess, while I cannot guarantee I can take all of your woes away, I want you to know you can trust me. If there is anything you need, let me know and I will do it for you. It’s the least I can do to make your stay here in the Palace tolerable.”
“Do you mean that?”
“I do, and I am a man of my word.”
“Then I suppose there’s no point beating around the bush,” you gritted your teeth, forcing the words to come out.
It had always been a lingering thought at the back of your mind – to leave Rintaro – but there was this prideful, equally stubborn voice at the back of your head telling you it was too early to give up. That you needed to fight. But what was there to fight for? It wasn’t like Rintaro would learn to love you. And neither do you plan on wooing him. So, instead, you swallowed up your pride and called for Kita, knowing he would never judge you for the choices you were about to make.
“I actually called for you today because I wish to discuss royal marital laws, possibly with your mother. She would know about it best.”
“You need legal counsel,” he caught on, and you nod, “I can arrange that. I assume you want it discreetly, too. That is no problem at all. But if I may be bold, I wish to ask something from you in return.”
“Name your price.”
“It is about this maid that I am fond of. Airi,” her name came out breathily from his mouth, almost like a whisper. You noticed the Prince glancing around the empty garden almost warily, though you already took measures to ensure no one would be around to witness this conversation. Reassured, Kita sat up straighter and looked you in the eye, nothing but sincerity and determination in his expression. “I will do anything you ask of me, as long as it is within legal reasons, if you take her in as your personal maid.”
“I’ve heard rumors about you having affections for a maid in your quarters,” you mumbled, feeling almost sorry for the kind–hearted Prince. It seemed he, too, did not escape the heartbreaking torment for falling for a person you could never have. “So it is true, after all.”
“It is. You seem surprised about it. Is it so shocking to learn of a Prince having genuine feelings for another?”
You shook your head. “Not at all. I think I should know best that passion is something you brothers certainly have,” you snort, and Kita fights back a grin. “Very well, then. I will take care of your lovely maid, although I do wish to know – why are you assigning her to me? Have you… done anything to stain her honor?”
The color seeped out of the Prince’s face.
“I would never do such a thing.”
“I figured you wouldn’t.”
Kita’s shoulders squared before he exhaled. “Airi is… Ever since I set my sights on her, she has been in danger. People have been very unkind towards her, especially with the staff in my quarters. And as much as I would love having her by my side in my every waking hour, it would break my heart to know that she is being looked down upon simply because I admire her. But I figure with her at your side, with a new assignment, she will have some peace.”
Your heart ached for him. You could tell this was not an easy decision to make, but a necessary one if he wanted to ensure his lover’s well-being.
“You can still see her, Your Highness. It’s not like I will take her away from you.”
“I wouldn’t let you, either, but these are very difficult times for everyone in the Palace. The security of the throne weakens every day. The Parliament is restless, and there is only so little I can do with all these failed unions,” he rattled on, eyes widening when he realized it too late. Bowing his head, the Prince’s brows furrowed. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to–”
“Our marriage is not a failed union. Not yet. I will make certain it will not be a failure.”
It couldn’t be a failure. There was only one way out of this dreadful marriage, and as much as you hated it, that exit only existed in a path where you had no choice but to let him be a great King. This is why you need Kita’s mother’s counsel. Surely there could be a loophole in the clause that would invalidate the marriage. But until that opportunity presents itself, you were stuck here in this Castle, surrounded by everyone but your husband.
You had to make it work.
“With all due respect, Princess,” sighs the Prince, looking more remorseful than irritated. “Why is it that you try so hard? You do not need to stay with him, you know. It may be against the law for royal marriages to be annulled, but surely we can find a way. You do not need to torture yourself by spending one more day with your husband.”
“I know that.”
“Then why do you stay?”
“Because,” you croaked out, feeling a lump grow in your throat. “Because loving him is all I had known, and perhaps it is time I learn to despise him, as well.”
Silence stretches. The prince sat there, unmoving, as your words hang in the thick air between you two. You knew he would understand; he wouldn’t judge. But there is still concern in his handsome features that made you realize how pitiful you really are. And maybe there was no one else to blame but yourself, because you were foolish, and in love. But you were trying – by the Gods, you really were doing your best – to just be in love and not have to be foolish anymore.
Kita could see this as well. Your strength, your grit. He could see everything from where he sat, and that was why he simply nodded. “Are you getting there yet?”
“I will get there someday.”
Before the Prince could say anything else, a servant appeared from the bushes. He looked sheepish upon the intrusion, an apologetic smile on his face directed to the Prince. “Your Highness. It is time for your lessons.”
The Prince sent you a knowing look. This was not to be the last time you see each other, and you smiled up at him, grateful. It felt good to have at least one person you could lean on in the Palace. You stood up, too, shaking his hand just as his servant excused himself. If your memory did not fail you, the Third Prince studied law outside of the Palace and had to attend university, unlike his brothers who had chosen to indulge in their promised wealth after graduating high school.
“Excuse me, Your Highness. I have matters to attend to, but my words still ring true – I am only a call away should you need me.”
“Thank you so much for your time, my Prince.”
“It was my pleasure. I will inform you right away of my mother’s availability.”
“Oh, and Princess,” piped up the servant from somewhere around the bushes, “Princess Maiko is looking for you. She is waiting for you in her drawing room.”
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You should’ve expected that Princess Maiko would come looking for you. The whole ordeal she witnessed back at your rest house must have come as a shock for her. Sure, her marriage didn’t go so well, either, but at least Tooru hadn’t gone around sleeping with someone else. For a man who didn’t want to get married, he kept to his vow of loyalty to his wife. Still, you didn’t want this to be a competition on who had it worse – Maiko was simply worried, and you had to explain yourself for your untoward behavior on everyone’s getaway.
“Princess! Oh my gosh – how are you?! I was worried sick!”
“Princess,” you return her hug, smiling despite the fact the smaller Princess had a bone–crushing grip. “Thank you for your concern, but I assure you, I am well.”
“Oh, Princess, you couldn’t be,” she pulled back with tears in her eyes. You almost apologized on the spot now that you remembered demanding to return to the City without informing the others why. Especially not Maiko, who seemed to be clueless. “I… I heard from Tooru about everything. The entire situation with Iris and the Crown Prince – truly, I did not know a single thing. If I had, I would have told you right away.”
“I know, and I’m thankful for your support.”
You squeeze her hand in reassurance, and the Princess leads you to sit on the couch. She slumps on it rather ungracefully, her innocent, wide eyes moist as she shakes her head.
“I had no idea Iris could do that. I just… the moment she arrived in the palace, she was so lovely, you know? She was always a little reserved, and liked to keep to herself, but I never would’ve guessed. I truly thought she was a good friend of mine, and now I have no idea who she really is.”
“Neither did I.”
“How are you, though? And please, tell me the truth. You do not need to pretend all is well.”
You shrug half-heartedly. “I am the Crown Prince’s wife. I must learn to be strong.”
“You mustn’t torture yourself any longer,” she licks her lips, chuckling without a trace of humor in it. “Although I do not blame you for staying in a marriage without love,” she smiled sadly, holding your hand firmer where it sat on her lap. “What do you plan to do?”
“I will divorce him,” you announced, and finally saying it loud felt different than just having the thought float in your head. It now felt like a reality. A choice you had to be firm in making. Licking your lips, you couldn’t help but glance at the beautiful wedding ring sitting on your finger – how just like your marriage, it is sparkling yet meaningless.
Leaving him would be the right choice. It would not mean you were weak.
“Once I meet with Kita’s mother and work our way around the law… I’m going to leave him. If it is a proper marriage he wants, then it is the one thing he will not get,” braving to look her in the eyes, you force a determined smile. “I believe it is the right thing to do, Your Highness. I must pick my battles wisely.”
“I understand, and I support you if this is what you want to do.”
“Thank you, Princess.”
“Although…”
“Although?”
“I still find it hard to believe,” she quipped, momentarily letting go of your hand as she stood up, pacing around the room. Her dark hair, neatly braided and adorned with headpieces, slowly started falling into curled pieces around her delicate face with how fast she’d been pacing. Almost as if her feet couldn’t quite keep up with her thoughts. “Iris and Kiyoomi had been married for five years, and Tooru told me they’d loved each other long before then. I am aware I am not the best at reading the room, but surely I am not so foolish to miss the love in their eyes. I would have known, Your Highness, I swear.”
You smile, confused. “I… am not sure I understand what you mean.”
“I mean Iris never looked in love,” she reiterated. “Granted, she was never affectionate with Kiyoomi, so that much is clear, but with the Crown Prince? They barely even speak to each other.”
“You couldn’t have known if they did spend time together,” you told her as softly as you could, “I heard they often hid in Belleview Manor, away from the eyes of the public.”
“But I live here,” she argued, and you stopped trying to butt in. For such a small thing, you had already learned once Maiko had her head set on something, almost nothing could stop her. “I live in Honor Hall, just five minutes away from them! I could have heard something. And on the few times I do see them together, Iris had always seemed… walled off. If Rintaro was able to display his affections openly, Iris was not the same. That night you weren’t at the house, they did not seem like a happy couple to me.”
“What are you talking about?”
Maiko shook her head again, causing more curls to loosen. “They seemed familiar with each other, but not intimate. It was almost as if they were lovers purely in the bedroom, but they couldn’t have known each other’s heart,” her eyes lit up, before it dimmed again when she took in your somber expression. “I do not mean to give you false hope, Princess, but believe me. I know a man in love when I see one, and it is not the Crown Prince with Iris. But… but when you were not married yet, everyone could tell the Crown Prince smiled more. He laughed often, too, and he even spent more time with his brothers.”
“Well, that is only natural. He has a lot of siblings. Of course he would enjoy their company.”
“No, no, you do not understand, Princess. The Crown Prince… didn’t grow up that way,” she bit her lip, and then scooted next to you. “As the only son of the King and Queen, he was already more important than the rest. Because of that, he was raised differently – away and isolated from his brothers. He was always tutored alone, and never played with the other Princes. He spent his childhood locked up in his study, but then the Queen allowed him to attend regular school, and when he graduated… he met you. And I swear, he was different then.”
“Because he already met her,” you remarked, hoping she would stop already. Rintaro does not love you. “He’d become happier because Iris was already in his life.”
“I went to the same school with them; grew up with them. I had crushed on Prince Tooru for so long that I followed wherever he went, and where Tooru was, the Crown Prince would follow. They were born just months apart. And Iris never made the Crown Prince look… look…”
“Look what?”
“Look content,” she finally supplied. “But when the Crown Prince introduced you to us, he had this look on his face. When you spoke to others, he would always be looking at you, listening to your every word. Even when you were not in the same room, he would speak fondly of you. And he even once told me he still could not believe someone as precious as you had been attending the same lousy balls he’d been enduring all his life. He said that if he had met you earlier, he might have never skipped out attending the dances.”
“I don’t know,” your lips trembled, “I do not know what to do, Princess. Hearing of this does not make it any better.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but you must understand,” she squeezed your hand, desperation evident in her tone. “Your husband looks at you the way I wished mine would at me. He may say otherwise, but his eyes cannot lie. He softens when you are around, Princess. That night you did not return home at Greenville, the Crown Prince could not sleep at all. And these past few days…”
“I believe that is enough. I do not wish to hear how he spent his nights at Belleview.”
“He didn’t, Your Highness. The Crown Prince has never even spoken to Iris ever since we returned from your honeymoon.”
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Rintaro could count the number of things pissing him off with one hand.
One: You had barely acknowledged his existence the past few days.
Two: Iris wouldn’t stop pulling him into dark, secluded corners in the Castle each time she chanced upon him. Two-point-five: She couldn’t understand he was not in the mood for another one of their trysts.
Three: Kiyoomi skipped another meeting concerning Itachiyama again.
Seriously, Rintaro understood being a Prince was tiresome work. It was not as grandiose as the tabloids made it out to be. Even in his sleep, he sometimes dreamt of paperwork, or he would wake up in the middle of the night with his hands signing off imaginary papers. The pressure was tougher on Kiyoomi, too, because he was expected to be ready to take after Wakatoshi at any time he even faltered – note: the First Prince never did – and to also act as representative for the other territory thanks to his birthright. But his brother was an hermit, and seemed to fear the sunlight, considering he never left his quarters. Or on the rare occasions he did, he would be hiding away in other countries doing who knows what.
He had just finished a meeting with some of the territory leaders regarding a public complaint that the price of goods had gone up, and some daily necessities were now ridiculously overpriced. One of the main suppliers of good livestock and coconuts, Itachiyama, made it even more expensive – not for any good reason, just that their leader loved to remind Inarizaki constantly that they needed him more than he needed the monarchy.
His goading affected his people, and Rintaro has had enough. Kiyoomi could at least try to pretend to be interested in the meetings. Out of all the nine princes, Kiyoomi was the most influential for being a half-blood. The Itachiyama president adored him. He wouldn’t have had to struggle negotiating for prices had he been doing his work. He was the damned mediator between the two countries, for goodness’ sake!
And to make it all worse, his life did not get any better outside the meeting rooms.
No, because his wife was intent on acting like he did not exist. And on the few times he did manage to be in the same space as you without you running off, you always looked through him. Like he wasn’t even a real person. As if he was just an apparition, a ghost in your mind that you could overlook if you tried hard enough.
He already knew you wouldn’t be in your quarters once he returned, but Rintaro still couldn’t help the pang of disappointment washing over him. He chose you to be his future Queen for many reasons, one of them being your wisdom in these kinds of things. You just needed a little encouragement to speak up, but Rintaro was confident you would make a great leader. You had genuine care for your people. You would have been able to help him make the best decisions for everybody – if you would just listen to him. Wasn’t that how marriages work? To share the burden of the Crown together? The Crown was too heavy for one person alone, which is why Kings cannot be crowned without their Queens.
Rintaro couldn’t do it alone. Each day was becoming more challenging for him, and he so desperately wished he could discuss the country’s future with you. He would feel more confident in his choices. He would be more reassured that he was doing the right thing, but it seemed that all he knew how to do lately was fuck everything up.
On his way back, Rintaro stopped trying to look regal. He let his shoulders slump and ran his fingers through his hair again. The gel be damned. Loosening his tie, he rolled his shoulders back and winced at how stiff his back was. Sitting on his ass all day long, having to listen to old men argue back and forth over money, and simultaneously having to deal with a marriage he’d already screwed over – Rintaro just wanted to disappear.
He wanted to return to Greenville.
It was peaceful there. People minded their own business, everyone had their own purpose and reason for waking up each day and there, he could just be himself. Not the Crown Prince, not a young man who had to hurt you for the sake of the throne. He could just… be free.
“Your Highness,” a servant bowed in front of him, keeping a respectful distance but enough to let him know he needed his attention.
“Good evening,” he greeted back, “Have you seen my wife?”
“Her Highness was with Princess Maiko this morning. Last I heard, she has not left the Palace, at all.”
“I see,” Rintaro was already moving towards Honor Hall before his feet could register it. It was a good twenty minute walk, and the chances of running into Iris weren’t miniscule, but it would be worth it. He could use some fresh air, anyway. And he figured with Maiko around, you would be less opposed to spending the evening with him – until he realized Maiko must have known everything, too. How he manipulated you, and left you in the middle of nowhere.
On second thought, having two Princesses who clearly did not welcome him would not make for a great night.
“My Prince!”
Rintaro stopped on his tracks. He had a split second to school his expression to surprise – the good kind – when he came face to face with the last woman he wanted to see.
“Mother,” he greeted, taking her gloved hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles whilst she fanned herself. “I wasn’t informed you would be visiting.”
She waved her fan around. “Oh, I had to nearly knock down the guards when they wouldn’t let me in, but I had to see my daughter. I heard from the news that you came home too early. Well, what is wrong? Is she sick? Does she not like the countryside? Or perhaps there was an emergency you had to attend to?” fanning herself harder, Rintaro’s hand wound at the small of her back to guide the older woman into a nearby seat. “She hasn’t answered any of my calls, and I am worried, my son.”
“Your concern for her will put her at ease, I’m certain,” he reassured, swallowing the uncomfortable lump growing in his throat. “This is just… a difficult time for us, Mother. I fear Her Highness is having doubts about our marriage once she saw how overwhelming the Crown could be. She simply wished to return home because she felt there were things to be done here.”
Your mother sighed and shook her head. “My poor daughter. She always felt the need to prove her worth by working herself to death,” spinning to face him, she pointed her fan in his direction – which would be considered a threat to the Crown Prince, but she was his mother–in–law. Her presence itself was a threat to his life. “Promise me you won’t let her exhaust herself, son. Promise me you’ll take care of her.”
“She is in good hands, Mother, I promise you this.”
Pleased with him, your mother beamed. “I was also… Well, I may be crossing the line, but now that you tell me my poor daughter is anxious about her royal duties, I was planning to hold a ball in her honor. A welcoming ball for the new Princess, of sorts. It should help her integrate into your world better, but still with the comfort of our support.”
“A ball sounds lovely. We can hold it anytime as we are still in our honeymoon period and she will be free for quite some time.”
“That is perfect! I will make the arrangements, then.”
Wearing his best Prince Charming smile, even if he was anything but, Rintaro found himself mindlessly agreeing to everything your mother wanted. He would have to squeeze all these events in his already hectic schedule, but he was not complaining. She was right. You deserved to relax and enjoy yourself. He should know best that having royal titles did not promise a life of gallivanting and endless tea parties. Once your mother had exhausted herself from all the planning, Rintaro escorted her out to the palace entrance, stopping only when your figure appeared from the corner.
Finally, you were looking at him.
But with a glare.
Well, he supposed beggars couldn’t be choosers.
“You are a far better actor than I give you credit for – lying to my mother like that.”
“I did not mean to.”
You rolled your eyes, and Rintaro bit his lip. Cute, he thought, but he would never say it out loud. He would simply enjoy the fact you did not push him away, or walk away as if you were scalded when he started walking next to you. For a moment, everything almost seemed normal. Minus the extreme glaring, of course.
“Surely. It’s not like telling her you manipulated me for the past two years was on your to-do list.”
“Do not use that tone on me.”
“I will speak with you however I wish. You do not get to tell me what to do.”
“You are right; I cannot tell you what to do, so do as you please, then,” he surrendered, and you must be surprised by how he easily gave in from the way you froze. Glaring harder, Rintaro bit his cheek, tilting his head to the side as he gazed upon your pretty face. And oh, how badly he wanted to smooth that frown you’re wearing. “I missed you. I have not seen you all day long.”
“Must have been a lovely day for you, then.”
It was hell, actually, was what he wanted to say, but even that did not seem enough to articulate what he truly felt. I missed you, and I’m sorry I hurt you. Please sleep on the same bed with me again. I want to hold you all night long, and your scent calms me. But instead, all that comes out of his mouth was, “It was not lovely at all.”
“Hmm. I’m not Iris.”
“No, you aren’t.”
He agreed wholeheartedly – you were not his lover. Iris would not argue with him like this; in fact, they never argued at all. Whenever they had misunderstandings, they resolved it by taking out their frustrations on the bedroom, and the next day, all would be forgiven and forgotten. It was easier with Iris, in some ways, because with you he actually had to use his words, and he had to say the right ones. Both of which he wasn’t good at, but would try his very best anyway.
“I heard you spent the day with Maiko. How was it? Did you two have fun?”
“As fun as two women suffering at the hands of men who despise them could have.”
Rintaro took a larger step to stand in front of you, his eyes narrowed into slits. “I do not despise you.”
“Really? You made me feel otherwise.”
Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair again, feeling much more exhausted than he did after the meetings ended. “You do not have to make this so difficult, you know. I am trying to fix this.”
The laugh you let out is sardonic, teetering on the edges of borderline angry. But he would take it – because arguments with you were better than having you ignore him, and he would take a thousand more arguments if it meant you talked. He would consume your wrath over your coldness every other day. Even when you cross your arms and look at him like he was the most vile creature to ever walk the Earth – because your eyes are on him, and in that moment, in the middle of another of a hundred hallways in his Palace, there was no one else but you and him. A husband and his wife. A Prince and his Princess.
“Oh, are you now? Because last time I checked, you were still in love with someone else, and I’m still nothing but a pawn in your silly game.”
“I may be in love with someone else, but it was you who I couldn’t get off my mind.”
“Is that supposed to make my heart flutter?”
You reel back as if burnt, and Rintarou couldn’t fathom why your expression hurt him so much. As if his declaration, his vulnerability, of being putty in your hands repulsed you instead of excited you. However, he refused to show he hung desperately to your every word, refused to admit that you held all the power in your hands, not him. So, he plays it off, and flirtingly lifts a brow just to get you even more riled up.
“I was hoping it would.”
“Whatever it is you’re planning, Rintaro, you won’t win.”
His eyes darkened. Suddenly, all self-restraint he previously had had been thrown out the window. The urge to press his lips to you – yes, those same lips scowling at him – becomes all too consuming. He fools himself into taking the heat in your eyes as desire instead of anger. And he takes one step forward, two, then three, until your back hits the wall and his large frame prevents you from escaping. He liked you best here, he realized, under his mercy and staring up at him with your soft lips, pliant and open to release a gasp when he leans in. Closer, closer, only for his lips to meet the skin of your cheek.
Rintaro stifled a disappointed groan.
Masking it with a chuckle, he trailed his lips down your cheek and to your jawline, all the way until he’s inhaling your intoxicating scent – he wants your damned perfume to stick to his skin for days to come so everyone in the Palace knows he is yours. And like a flower, you bloom only to him. Craning your neck and pushing your chest upwards to his despite your resistance, breathing hard and heavy to let him know he wasn’t the only one affected by this.
And by the Gods, he wanted nothing more than to take you in this wall right here and then.
Brushing his lips just above your pulse point, Rintaro smiled. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, and he was certain his was, too, when you began to crumple his shirt in your hands. “I never knew my name could sound so important without the titles attached to it.”
“Wh–what?” your query came out breathily. Not that he could blame you, for his words have also begun to sound more like a whisper.
“Rintaro,” he echoed, nosing your neck to greedily take in more of your scent. If not on his skin, then he will settle for the evidence of you all over his clothes – and damned the servants who dared wash his dress shirt. “Not Prince, not Your Highness. Just Rintaro. It makes me feel like… it is just you and I, husband and wife, as simple as that,” you draw in another gasp just as his fingers start ghosting over your waist, fighting the urge to pin you in place, or to just hold you delicately because he knew he’d broken you enough. Rintaro felt weak, his head dropping in the column of your shoulder. “I truly did miss you. And I do not like how I spent many nights, in our bed, alone.”
“You do not deserve to share a bed with me.”
“I know,” he lamented, and that firm resolve of keeping him at a distance was enough to wake him up. Pushing himself off of you, Rintaro took a solid minute to admire you like this – lips parted, expectant for a kiss, and skin flushed with a thin layer of sweat, with eyes so bewildered he could see himself clearly in the reflection – that he was just a man now, and not really the husband you wanted him to be. Once he had his fill, Rintaro smoothed down the wrinkles you fisted in his shirt and took a step back. “But you do not deserve to sleep in just a couch. Take the bed tonight. I will sleep outside.”
“But that’s–”
“I’m the one who fucked up,” he smirked, sarcasm dripping from his face, “So I should be the one sleeping uncomfortably. I know I cannot tell you what to do, and neither do I plan on ordering you around, but this is the one thing you cannot argue with me on. You will take the bed. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Back to titles. Back to formality. Back to reality.
“Good girl,” he murmured absentmindedly, nodding in the direction of your bedroom. “Let us head back to our quarters. I’m buying you a new dress for the ball first thing in the morning.”
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To say Rintaro had changed would be an understatement.
He was a completely different person than your husband in the honeymoon. It was as if… last night’s intimate encounter had brought him back to the Rintaro you fell in love with, but this time it felt different. He felt more intense. Maybe it was the fact that his secrets were now laid out in the open, which could mean his attentive actions toward you no longer held the purpose of winning you over. Maybe now he truly just wanted to spend time with you because he could.
Cancelling his plans for the day, he’d told the servants you were going out shopping, and oh, what a cunning, devilish Prince he is. He knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off of him out in public. With so many eyes watching, you spent nearly every second of the day with your arms looped around his, laughing and smiling at every word he said, and not daring to keep your eyes off him lest someone took a photographed and headlined it ‘Newly Married Royal Couple Having Their First Lovers’ Spat In Public.’ No. No, that would be catastrophic. The Queen would be furious.
Here, in public, you were forced to act sweet and touchy with him, to which the stupid Crown Prince basked in as he led you from boutique to boutique. He complimented you on everything, even when you wore a hideous bright orange gown that made even the designer flinch. But in Rintaro’s eyes, you were simply mesmerizing. He even got a suit that matched all of your dresses, claiming that everyone should know he was married to you. Everyone already knew that – the whole world knew – but you didn’t want to burst his bubble.
Aside from having a day off, your husband genuinely did seem to be doing things other than paperwork.
You stopped being kind once you entered the car, however, when the windows had rolled up and you had both stopped waving to the people. Here, it was just the driver and the both of you, and the driver knew better than to comment on whatever happened, anyway. Sighing, you scooted to the other end of the seat, prying yourself off of Rintaro’s tight grip around your waist.
“Drop the act.”
“What act?”
“Oh, please,” you scoffed, taking off your gloves and folding them neatly in your lap. “We are in the privacy of our car. You needn’t pretend any longer.”
“Who said I was pretending?”
You looked at him dead in the eye. “You are not fooling anyone. This was all a PR act – you did not actually mean whatever it is you said to me out there, but worry not. I’ll get out of your hair and divorce you – surely that will make everything easier.”
The way Rintaro’s eyes nearly popped out of his head would be comical if he didn’t look so scared. In a flash, your husband crossed the distance and sat next to you, his hurried movements causing his bangs to fall into his eyes. His large hands began to engulf yours, and you suck in a breath – without the gloves, it felt more intimate. “What divorce?” he chuckled nervously, brushing his lips over your bare knuckles. It was the faintest of touches, only done to appease you, but it still didn’t stop the bolt of heat coursing through your thighs. Gods, it was just so hard trying to stay mad at him.
“You know that’s impossible. Royal marriages are forever. Look, if you truly wish to divorce me, fine. But you know you will have to help me become King first. Once I am crowned, I can write a new law that says royal couples can be separated.”
“You are despicable.”
“I am,” he whined. Whined! Seriously, who was this man? “But I promise you, if you help me, I will let you go. Look, I’ll even find a high–ranking nobleman for you. The best of the best. You wouldn’t have to be lonely anymore. Just… don’t ever mention divorce to me right now. I won’t let you.”
Scoffing, you pull your hands back from his heavenly lips. “You seriously think after everything, loneliness is somehow my biggest issue?” Rintaro opened his mouth to retort, but you shook your head, making yourself small between him and the window seat. You hated it, how helpless you felt, from wanting his touch to being burnt by it. You hated it even more how you couldn’t look him in the eye as you mumbled, “Have you ever thought that maybe I just want to forget you?”
“I do not want you to,” he breathed out, and your eyes snapped shut when you felt his fingers brush over your cheeks. “But I am not so selfish to deprive you of a good thing. You will find someone who can love you better than I could.”
Your heart fell.
“Well, that would be easy. You never loved me to begin with.”
The Crown Prince never spoke again. You both mulled over your silences as you arrived back at the Palace, heading into the bathroom to do your nightly routines. Rintaro was to your left, taking out his razor blade and shaving foam while you stood to his right, lathering on your cleanser and toner. Thankfully, the silence did not feel as heavy as it did on the ride back home, but it was still far from being comfortable. It was only after you’d moisturized and turned to leave the room that Rintaro caught your wrist, glancing down at you with a pleading expression.
“Please. Can we stop fighting? I thought today was fun. Let us not end it hating each other.”
“I’m sorry, Your Highness, if I ruined your precious day,” you snapped, leaning back to examine how he missed a spot below his jaw. A slight stubble was visible, but you had to stop your hand from reaching out to him. You sighed. “All this space in the Palace and they couldn’t give us separate bathrooms?”
“Traditionally, royal married couples slept in separate rooms. Everything was separate, too, including bathrooms,” he gestured around you, “Perhaps you would’ve liked the old ways.”
Screw it. The small talk is the most awkward thing you have ever experienced.
“…You missed a spot,” you finally mumbled, taking his razor from him and gesturing for him to crouch down so you can reach. “Do you want me to finish it?”
Rintaro, despite his surprise, nodded and obeyed. It must have been uncomfortable for him to slouch, but he did so without complaints. He let you shave him as you saw fit, turning his head side to side, lathering on more foam, and you watched as his shoulders visibly deflated. Eyes fluttering close, Rintaro sighed, the tips of his fingers gingerly tracing circles as they laid beside your hips.
“You will take the bed as discussed,” he reminded, “You will not argue with me on this.”
“Okay,” you answered, because you, too, had no energy for more arguments. Once you were done with him, you wiped off the rest of the foam with a warm, wet towel. You both left the bathroom and went your separate ways – you to your king–sized bed, and him just outside the bedroom and into the lounge room, where you spent the past few nights sleeping. You realized he must not be sleeping well from it because of his large frame, yet Rintaro did not seem to mind.
Just as he was about to close the door, he lingered for a few beats.
“Thank you for going along the happily married couple act today,” he said, lifting his gaze from the carpeted floors to gaze into your eyes. “And for the record, I meant it when I said you looked beautiful.”
Then he turned, and swiftly closed the door, leaving you to be with your thoughts – all filled of him.
It didn’t help that the sheets and pillows still lingered with his scent.
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You had your upcoming ball to thank for distracting you from your confusing feelings for your husband. That in itself was such a ridiculous statement, but one that ringed true. After Rintaro’s surprising gentleness, and the revelation from Maiko that he hadn’t spoken at all with Iris, you were now in a dangerous zone called Getting Your Hopes Up. Truly, you should know better. You had known Rintaro for years to know he could be effortlessly charming. He could have you wrapped tight around his finger, smiling like a lovesick fool, only for him to break your heart once more.
If not for that cold, hard truth, you would have invited him to bed with you that night. It seemed too tempting. It felt like the right thing to do. But you didn’t, and you were glad you held back on your desire, because you weren’t sure you could handle another heartbreak.
Especially because these past few days made you realize one thing – that you were still in love with him. The next morning, you found yourself wishing you had woken up next to him, and that was enough to make you avoid your husband all over again. And much to your disappointment, Rintaro stopped trying to chase after you, too, after countless rejections on your part. He had kept his distance, and only spoke with you momentarily when you arrived at your mother’s ball and had to exchange niceties with everyone.
After that, your husband excused himself and spoke with his brothers, but not after your parents couldn’t stop cooing at how adorable you and the Crown Prince were. He handled it with grace; kissing your cheek and thanking them for raising such a wonderful daughter. But the moment your parents became occupied with welcoming other guests, you were now left to entertain the other women in the ball.
Until the music began playing.
Until your song reverberated all across the room.
“This is the song you and the Crown Prince danced to the night you met,” your mother whispered beside you, giggling in your ear. “I requested it specifically for this night. Enjoy the dance with your husband. He’s already waiting.”
True to her word, you could feel Rintaro’s heated gaze on you from across the room. He’d stopped speaking with his brothers – the twins smirking beside him, Akaashi smiling at you softly, Tobio waving enthusiastically while nursing a glass of wine, and Kita firmly hovering from the walls with a concerned frown. Not that you paid attention to them. Your gaze was held by your husband and him only, bewitched as he started walking forward. The crowed parted for him like a true Prince until nothing stood in his way. Everyone smiled, giggling behind their gloves at the apparent ‘romance in the air.’ Beside you, your mother pushed you encouragingly, and you could feel everyone’s eyes on you, waiting to see if you would take the Crown Prince’s outstretched hands.
“My love,” he whispered above your gloved hands, and your heart skipped a beat. He didn’t call you Princess, or Your Highness. You knew it was for the sake of keeping appearances, but by the Gods, you loved him. You were so hopelessly in love with your husband that you placed your heart in his hands once more, silently pleading with him not to break it as he led you in the middle of the dance floor. “May I have this dance?”
“Yes,” you breathed out, your hand resting on his shoulder as naturally as his arms came to your waist. The exact same movements from the night you first met, with the same song, but with your love for him stronger tonight than it did when you first laid your eyes on him.
This time, you danced as man and wife, and you recalled his words from the other day.
How there were moments it seemed so simple – where there were no titles, just you and him, having this dance like it was the most natural, inexplicable thing in this world.
The chord struck. The crowd parted. He took the first step in the dance, and you took a step back. Not once did you tear your gaze away from him, happily drowning in the depths of his hazel eyes you could look at forever. And isn’t that what you’d always wanted? To spend a lifetime with him, to grow old together. It would have been so easy if it weren’t for –
“Don’t think about anything else,” your husband shook his head lightly, “Just enjoy this moment. Tonight, there is only you and I.”
“Okay,” you found yourself nodding, and his grip on your waist tightened for a second. “Just you and I.”
Rintaro’s lips curled into the faintest of smiles. “Just you and I.”
You and him in those moments – you felt immortal. Like nothing could stand in your way. Or perhaps you could die tonight, and you would die happy. Because you were in your husband’s arms, and he was looking at you and only you, murmuring how you were becoming more and more beautiful with each passing day. You were melting in his arms, like goo. Like pudding. And he was strong enough to catch you, to brush his nose against yours at each dip, or letting his lips linger on your forehead each time you came back to him with each spin.
But happy moments never lasted long enough, and soon the rotations were beginning. More couples have joined the dance floor. Through one spin, you caught sight of Tooru and Maiko. Neither of them looked happy, but Tooru visibly brightened when he caught your eye, and shamelessly winked. On the other side of the room danced Iris and Kiyoomi, with the latter looking so nauseous you worried dinner would be spilled on your mother’s floor. And then too soon, Rintaro’s hands were leaving yours as he moved to the nearest dance partner, and you were caught by a pair of strong, muscled arms.
“My turn,” Tooru teased, a grin now on his handsome face as he nudged his head in Rintaro’s direction. He was now dancing with your mother, and you could tell, even from this distance, the smile he wore was genuine. “Should I beat him up?”
You chuckled, throwing your head back. Despite his jokes and jabs, Prince Tooru was a surprisingly great dancer – less stiff than Rintaro, and more confident in his receiving when you spun and dipped. But dancing with him did not feel the same. There was no passion, no yearning, no longing – just the lighthearted air of good humor and his calming nature.
“I don’t think beating the Crown Prince up would be a very wise decision.”
“Indeed, but I was never the Prince known for making wise decisions. That would be more Shinsuke’s forte,” he snorted, and the song reached a part for another rotation. However, Tooru refused to let you go and intentionally spun you away from what was supposed to be your next dance partner. Out of shock, you slapped his chest, and his broad chest rumbled with laughter.
“Your Highness! That was unbelievably rude!”
“As I have said,” you both laughed when he spun you again, “I am not the Prince known to be socially adept.”
You bent over in giggles, your head resting on his chest as you danced more throughout the night. Your feet were getting tired, but your mother was right – this was a night to enjoy. You danced to your heart’s content, exchanging jokes with the handsome Fifth Prince until you craned your neck to the side, only to be stopped by Prince Tooru’s large hand. This time, he no longer smiled as he gazed upon the dancing partners behind you, and your skin turned cold.
You had a feeling you knew exactly why.
“Don’t look. You won’t like what you’ll see.”
Nodding, you pursed your lips and forced a smile at him. “It’s okay, Princess,” he comforted, “Just look at me. You need not concern yourself with others.”
So you danced, and danced, until you could hear your father pleading with the Fifth Prince to give his daughter back because he didn’t get a chance to have a dance with you yet. Reluctantly, Tooru handed you over to your father, but not without a faux frown.
“That was a lovely dance, Your Highness. I wish we could’ve danced more.”
“I think we danced enough.”
Tooru’s smile was guarded; secretive. “I’m afraid it was not enough.”
You danced with your father next. And it was lovely, seeing him up close with all his smile lines and wrinkles. You missed him so, dearly, and he felt the same way. It hurt having to lie to him when he asked how you were settling in the Palace, but you didn’t want to concern him with your personal matters, and for some reason, it didn’t sit well with you if your father disliked Rintaro. So you swallowed your discomfort down and told him everything was great – silently wishing he wouldn’t pry further. He didn’t. And when the song slowed, your father kissed you on the cheek before letting you meet with your next dancing partner.
Stood in front of you was a great wall of what could only be described as majestic. Dressed in white with gold ornaments, Prince Kiyoomi’s curls framed his handsome face beautifully. You had been so accustomed seeing him in more comfortable clothing, and in the privacy of his own home, that seeing him out here in society, it reminded you that he, too, was a Prince.
The Second Prince – the would have been next King should Ushijima and Rintaro falter.
“My Prince.”
“Princess,” he bowed, taking your hand in his as you made your way back to the dance floor. The music played again, this time louder, and the Prince leaned down until his lips were brushing against the shell of your ear. You repressed a gasp, unable to help yourself from digging your nails into his palm when you were greeted by how good he smelled – like mint, new leather, and pine. It also dawned on you how tall and firm the Prince was – perhaps taller and more muscular than Rintaro.
“Y–Yes, Your Highness?”
“Remind me to thank your mother for extending her invites to the forgotten Prince. Imagine my shock when I saw her invitation letter this morning.”
You chuckled nervously, thankful that he had now slightly tilted his head back. “I hardly doubt you are a forgotten prince.”
He snorted, effortlessly spinning you with one hand. “It’s not like I do my duties to begin with. I wouldn’t be surprised if I truly was forgotten,” distracted by his scent, you unknowingly stepped on the hem of your dress and slipped backwards. A scream nearly tore out your throat when the Prince’s large hands cupped the small of your back, your chest pressed to his and his curls brushing against your cheeks as he held you close. “Careful.”
“Th–thank you.”
You were a mess after that. You were never the best dancer, but something about being in the older Prince’s presence made you extra nervous. If he noticed, he didn’t comment on it. He simply danced with grace, and hid his grimace well each time you stepped on his toes. He had also convinced you to stop apologizing every time you did, and by the time the dance was over, you were more than ready to disappear.
“Thank you for the dance, my Prince,” you bowed, words hurried, “I shall see you–”
“Kiyoomi!” a woman appeared out of nowhere, her thick, dark curls pinned up beautifully with some loose strands swaying in time with her hips. She had the same moles as Kiyoomi, and you watched, entranced, as the older woman wrapped her arm casually around the prince. The two shared a silent conversation with their eyes before Kiyoomi glanced at you, and the woman followed his line of sight. “Oh! Your Highness. Greetings. I don’t believe I have introduced myself before – I’m Kanami; Kiyoomi’s mother.”
You smiled at her, politely taking her hand as she extracted herself from her son’s arms and taken to draping herself all over you. Discomfort must be written all over your face, because the Second Prince sent an apologetic smile your way.
“It is an honor to meet you, Miss Kanami. Are you enjoying the night so far? The travel all the way from Itachiyama must have been exhausting.”
“Oh, it was, but it’s all worth it now that we’ve met again!” she squealed, and you paled.
“We have met before?”
Just as she nodded and went about to retelling this so–called meeting, Iris popped up behind Kiyoomi, her smile stiff as she regarded Kanami. Instantly, your mood soured. She hadn’t spoken to you at all tonight, which you were thankful, but something about the thought of her dancing with your husband, and probably being suggestive while at it had your blood boiling.
“Mother! Such a shock seeing you here. I wasn’t aware you were invited.”
Kanami barely glanced her way, her dark, curious eyes still on your face.
“Hello, Iris, and it’s Miss Sakusa, dear,” she corrected, her enthusiastic smile momentarily fading into a scowl before it returned. “Say, Your Highness, since you’re still on your honeymoon period – and I’ve heard your dear husband is too busy these days – would you want to come visit Itachiyama with me? I would be honored to be your host. It will also be a great opportunity to learn more about your Princess duties and politics!” leaning closer, she whispered behind her gloves, although her words were loud enough to be heard by Prince Tooru and Iris. “Although if I will be honest, politics does not interest me in the least bit.”
Your mouth fell open and closed, unsure of what to say, until you settled on chuckling and patting her hand wrapped around your arm. “I… Thank you for invitation, Kanami. I am most tempted to see your beautiful country, but Princess Iris should be the one visiting her territory, should she not?”
Kanami scrunched her nose.“The Princess never grew up in Itachiyama. She would be just as clueless as you. Besides, I have always wanted to invite you over ever since you had Kiyoomi as your last dance on your eighteenth birthday!”
“He… was?”
“He was! Don’t you remember, dear?” she turned to Kiyoomi, who looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him already. But judging by his reaction, it seemed true – Kiyoomi was your last dance on your debut ball. “Well, in that case, I was always fond of you. I may be crossing the line here, but it was always a famous royal saying that whoever was your last dance on your debutante ball was your destined lover.”
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alicesivory · 3 months ago
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Old Habits Die Hard [1/?]
Main Masterlist // Next Chapter
Pairing: Nightwatch! Aemond Targaryen x wildling female! Reader
Genre:  Historically accurate Aemond
WC: 2559 (not much since it’s the first chapter)
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Summary: Before Jon Snow there was Aemond Targaryen who survived The Battle of God's Eye. Aemond thought that he would return to Kings Landing showered with praise. Yet he finds himself being taken to the north being held hostage and was sent to the wall. Before Jon and Ygritte, there was Aemond and her. 
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As the sky turned grey and the air was cold, the one eyed prince sat on the corner of the carriage he was in. Wrists chained, he peeked through a hole from the carriage and saw the banners of the great house from the north. 
The Starks. 
He cursed himself for not making allegiance with them rather than flying to Storm’s End. 
Lucerys. 
Vhagar.
It happened so quickly.
Yet it felt like it was ages ago.
Yet it was only 2 and a half years ago. 
He does not know how his mother is, his brother, Helaena, and Alys. 
Do they know that he’s alive?
Presumably not. 
He was supposed to die, his body sinking down in the waters like how Lucerys died. Yet his uncle missed, rather than stabbing his healthy eye, Daemon stabbed his arm. The wound was harsh and painful even if the northern men who found him had briefly treated his wound. 
It still hurts like a bitch. 
Fisting his hand, he roughly kicked the carriage. Let me out of here. “Quiet!” A northern man shouted from outside, hitting the carriage back. Aemond grunts and slumps onto the floor with defeat. He is far from Kings Landing and Harrenhal. He was far from home. What felt like hours the carriage eventually stopped and the air was not only cold, yet it was freezing. His body started to shiver and his teeth chattering. Hugging himself in the corner of the carriage, his body could not take the cold in truth. 
He wonders what has happened over Vhagar’s body. Have they taken her away from the waters? Will they honour her like what they did to Balerion? Or will they behead her head like Meleys? 
The carriage doors eventually opened. 
“Oi, Targaryen,” a northern man mocked, tossing a thick fur to him. “Out, now.” Aemond grits his teeth as he clutches the fur even with his hands chained. With a tremble, he stood up using the fur to warm him up. “Move it,” the northern man says once again, dragging him out of the carriage roughly on purpose, making him fall out of the carriage. 
Humiliation was the first thing that popped into his mind. 
The northerns laughed at him as they surrounded his meek self on the ground. Reminding him of the pink dread, driftmark, and the brothel. Even at the edge of Westeros he is mocked and made fun of. Aemond could not do anything but to pick himself up. He felt a shove from behind, “Walk faster, puny prince.” He picks up his steps as he curses the northerners under his breath. 
They led him further away from the road, he looked back seeing the world he once knew now far behind him. The only thing he could see now was the giant fortress and castles of the north. 
Winterfell. 
When the gates opened and he was brought inside, he felt eyes on him. He does not know whether it was because he was a Targaryen held hostage or were they looking at his eye. For he has lost his eyepatch way back in God’s Eye. What use of it now that he is a prince held hostage. Keeping his head straight, he walked into the castles of Winterfell. The fur around him is still tight in his grasp, for he did not want to freeze to death in front of these northerners. Not when he is a hostage. He shall die in front of them when he shall prove them wrong. 
“Prince Aemond Targaryen,” a voice boomed when he walked into the great hall of Winterfell. He looked up, finding Cregan Stark sitting in the middle with his council surrounding him. That proud bastard. “Lord Cregan Stark,” Aemond says, keeping his voice steady and filled with pride. He is still a dragon in chains. “It seemed you survived such a duel. Every part of Westeros has heard of your duel with your uncle, and every part of Westeros has heard of your survival.” Standing up from his seat, he continued, “And now every part of Westeros knows that you are chained by the north.”
Every man snickered in the great hall. 
Aemond could only smirk and hummed, his pride was still present. 
“It seemed, Lord Stark.” 
Cregan chuckled in amusement. 
“The north does not bow down to your brother. We serve your half-sister, Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen. So it means you have no power over us, Prince Aemond.” Aemond’s healthy eye bore into Cregan’s as he speaks of Rhaenyra. “She is nothing but a pretender. You all are traitors in the eyes of the throne,” Aemond coldly said. “When my brother hears of this, I shall make him burn the north to the ground.” Hearing how prideful the one eyed prince was, Lord Cregan steps closer to him. Scanning Aemond from head to toe. His hair was a mess, his old clothes ripped and his wound on his arm was still present. 
“Yet do you know who is in power right now?” Lord Cregan Stark asked. 
Aemond stared at Lord Stark curiously.
“Your brother was poisoned. He died a few days ago.”
Aemond’s heart sank. 
“Your brother is no longer king for he is dead. You do not have power over us, Prince Aemond.”
Cregan steps away from him. “You call us traitors of the realm, yet the one you serve is not sitting on the iron throne. And my prince, the north keeps their promise and does not falter. We stood true to our word and bent our knee to Queen Rhaenyra. Not your brother. You were captured by the wrong people in your own civil war, my prince. For we are not traitors, it is only you who is a traitor in this room.”
The room went silent as everyone had their eye on Aemond. 
“Bend the knee to Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen or you shall be sent to the wall.” 
The wall. 
That useless wall that everyone fears of. Aemond thought lowly of the northern’s consequences. Screw the blacks, screw the northerns, for he will not bend his knee to these cowards just because he is their prisoner. He shall not be seen as weak just because he does not have a dragon.
“Never.”
He used to reside in a lavish castle and was dreaded by all. He was served anything he wanted on a silver platter by servants. He is now sitting on the brink of the dungeon he was put in, dissatisfied with himself. He would often take a bath every day, but instead he is sitting on the cold Winterfell dungeon flooring. Only a thick fur to keep him warm. 
A piece of meat and bread shoved inside into his cell, not as tasty as his feast in Kings Landing but it’s better than nothing. But his mind refused to finish his plate for he does not want the northerners to even think that he needed them. Aemond Targaryen needed no one. “Oi, pretty boy,” they opened his cell after days of torturing him with this place.
“Lord Stark wants to see you.”
Standing before Cregan Stark once again, he repeated himself.
“Bend the Knee to Queen Rhaenyra or you shall be sent to the wall—,”
“—never.”
Cregan saw how Aemond underestimated the north. The wall, especially. For he saw how much pride the prince had within him.
“You have no idea what you’re dealing with, boy.”
Aemond’s chin high up, he stood tall in his place. 
“I deal with what I must face.” 
Cregan sighed, “Then may the gods be with you.”
The mystery of the land beyond the north was yet to be solved by anyone nor the great dragons of the Targaryens. But they were not aware how they were being watched as time went by. The crows were not safe from danger as they ventured beyond the wall.
“Shh!” One of them said,
“You will get us caught.” 
The freefolk. Wildlings. 
Unlucky to be secluded from the realm, the wildlings have lived for generations outside of the wall. They are fiercely independent and reject the authority of the Seven Kingdoms and the Night's Watch. They have resilience, adaptability to harsh environments, and a deep connection to the land.It was not easy but they survived and have yet lived for years yet to come. Attempts were made to get past the wall but to no avail, they were outnumbered. 
“You stepped on my foot!” 
“Could you please shut up?!”
Shoving her companions apart from each other, the spearwife walked past them to get a closer look to the wall. “Those crows could have heard you!” Smacking their heads. “Ow, that hurts!” The taller one exclaimed. “Quit whinin’, Yuri,” she says again, peeking through the tall trees. 
“How are we gon’ pass the wall with only the three of us versus a bunch of crows?”
“We’re not here to pass the wall, we’re just here to spy on them. So we can know how many men they have,” she whispered to them. “How many of them have you spotted?” Her companions thought for a moment, “Too much to count. This wall goes far more than 50 leagues, not to mention its fucking tall.” 
“Won’t ya look at that,” Yuri said pointing at the wall. “It seems they have a new member. A strikingly different crow.” She looked up at where Yuri was pointing and saw a tall silver haired man lowered down to his station. With his black attire, his silver hair shone beneath the cloudy skies of the north.
“Why is his hair like that?” She asked curiously.
“D’you think his mother fucked a snowman?” The comment made the three of them snicker. “Or do you think he’s just a really old man?”
“He doesn’t look old…he even looks younger than you, Gruf,” she chuckles. “Watch it kid,” Gruff says, jabbing her arm lightly. The wildlings kept their eyes on the night’s watch as they took their new member to their headquarters, castle black. “When shall we strike?” Yuri asked. 
“There’s too many. I don’t want our people to die by their hands,” she says in concern. “We must do it carefully. We have to atleast claim castle black before actually trying to pass through the wall. And it seems to be…impossible.”
“Why can’t we just shoot arrows at them? Gruff’s good at those,”
“And blow our cover? Honestly, do you really want to get us killed, Yuri? Not to mention, these mens are savages. They took an oath not to use their cocks!” Her words made them all chuckle. “Yet they call us savages.” A little smirk tugged her lips as she kept an eye on the new silver haired crow. If the young spearwife claimed she wasn't drawn to the attractive man from the watch, she would be lying. He doesn't have a northern man's appearance. Tall but not as skinny as people from the north, and of course, he had stunning silver hair. Not blonde, she noted. Pure silver. And when he turned around for her to see his face. 
“He only has an eye. A purple one, even,” she said her thoughts out loud. “Blimey…and he placed a blue stone on his other eye socket,” Gruff pointed out as the three of them curiously spied on him. “Remember that story of our grandfather seeing dragons with silver haired people?” She asked. “You think he’s one of those people?”
“I don’t see any dragons with him,” Yuri answered.
“But he does have those similar features. What do you think happened? Why is he on the night’s watch?” Letting her curiosity get the best out of her, she sprinted off to take a closer look of the silver haired man.
“Oi, kid!” Her companions whisper-shouted at her.
A stubborn little thing she is, she didn’t listen. Instead she hid behind the tall trees, peeking her head through as the crows pushed their new member into the base. “There’s a sept here if you want to pray, pretty boy,” she heard a northern man say with a hint of mockery in his tone. “To pray for your mummy and your well being. You wouldn’t last a night.” 
His jaw tightened and he fisted his fingers, displaying a soured facial expression that she could perceive. She was waiting for him to punch the man from the north, but he just turned to walk away.  Huh, why didn’t he do something about it? He looked pretty mad. 
Sighing with disappointment, she took a step back.
Crack.
Shit.
His head turned towards her direction and without a doubt she hid herself behind the trees. His attention was driven away from the northern and his healthy eye scanning across the tall trees around him. “What lies beyond the wall?” She heard him ask to one of the crows. His accent proved that he was not from the north, for his voice was smooth and formal like a nobleman, flows with a rich stern tone that effortlessly commands attention. He sounded elegant, not rough like any men she has encountered. 
Taking a peek once more behind the trees she hid in, she noticed how he looks far much prettier than any man.
“Beyond the wall, you say? Anything you couldn’t have imagined. Danger lies beyond and if you venture too far, you might lost your way. Before the creatures of the night could even feast you, the land itself will swallow you whole,” the crows answered. The one eyed crow could only nod and looked back up to the land beyond. It seemed he could not spot her after all. But she wished he could. 
Staring at his uncertain expression, he gave up and turned his back from the trees and went inside the night watch’s headquarters. Giving her a chance to escape and run as far as she could from them. It seemed that he is not friendly to the crows, and what kind of men who vowed to be on the night’s watch asked what lies beyond the wall? Was he one of those men who were forced to take an oath? He didn’t seem to enjoy himself being a part of the watch. 
Was he the key to her people’s victory?
“Where the fuck have you been, kid?!” Gruff said as he jogged towards them. “I have a plan,” she said as she caught her breath from her little run. “What plan?” Yuri asked. “I think we might have a chance after all,” she answered with a smile. “We have to wait until dawn. When it gets dark, wait for me beneath the trees not far from castle black, alright?”
“Woah, slow down kid. What about-,”
“—I know! I know! But you both have to trust me on this one. There would be no conflict but I swear it to you, we can win this.”
“And you promise that you’ll come back in one piece?”
“I swear it.”
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a/n: It’s still the first chapter lol and this dynamic was heavily inspired by jon and ygritte (on the show) and I’ll just let this series flow through slowly since I wanted to build the dynamic between them😔🎀 And yes I am not comfortable using [y/n] and no specific descriptions of our lovely spearwife⭐️.
Divider cr; @aqualogia
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aphroditelovesu · 3 months ago
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Kitten Pajamas
❝commission: a slightly angsty oneshot that incorporates the kitten pajamas somehow. I'm imagining a situation where Alexander sees them out and starts asking her (again) where she's from. Basically, something that shows she's managed to avoid telling him. — requested by 💻 anon.
❝ 📜 — lady l: I got a little emotional while writing this, don't ask me why, since I don't even know the answer, but I liked how it turned out. I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 🤎
❝tw: slight angst.
❝📜pairing: slight yandere!alexander the great x female!reader.
❝word count: 1,180.
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You stared at the kitten pajamas with a soft smile curving your lips, your fingers sliding over the soft fabric, almost as if they were tracing every detail, every line of the embroidery that made up the kittens' faces. With each touch, it was as if the memories of home, tucked deep in your mind so that you wouldn't go completely crazy, began to infiltrate your mind, bringing with them a mixture of longing and comfort.
The truth is that you had completely forgotten about the existence of those pajamas. They were stored, well protected at the bottom of a trunk, inside your tent, along with other things that you, in your busy routine full of responsibilities, rarely allowed yourself to revisit. It was as if that small piece of clothing, with its slightly worn fabric, was the only physical reminder of a life that seemed increasingly distant, something almost untouchable.
You had no specific reason to go through the trunks that day. You were just bored, trying to shake off the monotony that surrounded you, when a sudden burst of energy made you decide that maybe it would be a good idea to explore those forgotten corners. Who knows what you might find?
It was like that, amidst the dust and the smell of things stored away for a long time, that you found the pajamas. Cleaning had never been your favorite activity, but at that moment, as you held that small piece of clothing, you felt an unexpected joy. It was as if, for a moment, you had returned home, and the kitten pajamas were the thread that connected the future to the present.
A feeling of melancholy took hold of you, like a slow and inevitable wave, as your eyes traveled over every detail of the pajamas. Your fingers, once delicate, now gripped the fabric with more force than necessary, as if they wanted to extract more than just memories from that worn-out piece.
Home.
Such a simple word, yet so powerful at the same time. It echoed within you, awakening an emptiness that, although familiar, seemed to deepen with each passing day. Longing was something you had learned to carry, but at that moment, you felt its weight more than ever. The pain of being away, of feeling increasingly disconnected from everything you knew and loved, tightened your chest with an almost suffocating intensity.
You realized that, over time, you had begun to think less and less about home. When you first arrived here, the memories of your family and friends had been vivid, constant. But now, almost without realizing it, those memories were becoming hazy, distant, as if time was slowly erasing their faces, their voices, their smells. This was even more painful. The idea that you might be forgetting, that those people who had once meant so much to you were turning into shadows, filled you with a deep, painful sadness.
It was as if, in trying to adapt to this new place, you were leaving behind parts of yourself, parts you didn’t want to lose. And now, holding your pajamas, you realized that those parts were fading away, becoming nothing more than memories. The idea that your home, your real home, was becoming a distant memory was an unbearable thought.
You didn't even notice when the tears you were holding back started to run down your face, but you did notice when you heard a voice that haunted you as much as it comforted you echo in the silence of the tent.
"Why are you crying?" Alexander's voice rang out, filled with a concern he rarely showed. He approached you with barely audible steps, his calloused hands gently touching your shoulders, trying to offer some comfort, even without knowing the exact cause of your sadness.
Instinctively, you wiped the tears with the palm of your hand, trying to disguise the pain that still throbbed in your chest. Shaking your head in a gesture of denial, you looked up to meet his eyes, while still holding your pajamas tightly, as if they could anchor you to reality.
"Just some memories." You murmured, your voice low and heavy with emotion. Your eyes reflected a quiet sadness. Alexander, noticing the fragility of the moment, did something unusual for him: he didn’t insist, didn’t press you to explain further. Instead, he remained by your side, his gaze now fixed on the pajamas in your hands.
"This fabric..." He began, his voice hesitant as he tried to piece together a vague memory. Your eyes narrowed in concentration. "I’ve seen it before, haven’t I?"
Your hands began to sweat, as a slight panic settled over your body. You needed a good excuse, and fast. The last thing you wanted was for him to start questioning you incessantly, like he always did, with that relentless way that seemed to see through any disguise.
"Now I remember, you were wearing this when I first met you." Alexander spoke, his voice slightly accusatory but curious.
"Yes, I was wearing this." You mumbled, sighing.
Alexander took the pajamas in his hands, examining the fabric and the designs curiously. ''I've never seen anything like this before. Where is this from, exactly?''
"From the same place I came from, Alexander." You replied, trying to keep your voice steady. "It's pretty far away, you know? This fabric is common where I'm from. Everyone has something like this, it's very... Common and normal." You could feel your own hesitation showing in your words, and you mentally cursed yourself for sounding so anxious. You couldn't let him see how uncomfortable you were.
Alexander continued to stare at the pajamas for a few more seconds, as if he was trying to absorb every detail, searching for some hidden meaning. You knew you needed to change the subject of the conversation before he started questioning you more deeply.
"It's a simple piece, but it has sentimental value." You added, trying to sound casual. "That's all. Maybe we can put it back in the trunk and you can tell me about some of the new spoils of war?" You gave him a half-hearted smile, trying to direct his attention elsewhere.
Alexander looked up at you, and for a moment, he seemed to consider your words. He wasn’t one to leave questions unanswered, but perhaps he realized that this wasn’t the time to press. With one last glance at the pajamas, he finally handed them back to you, shrugging.
As he stepped aside to make room for you to put them away, you let out a sigh of relief. For now, you had managed to divert his attention, but you knew he wouldn’t forget so easily. Alexander was persistent, and that meant that sooner or later, you would have to deal with these issues again. But for now, the comforting silence of the tent reigned once more, and you put the pajamas away at the bottom of the trunk, trying to let the painful memories lie dormant for a little while longer.
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thebiggerbear · 6 months ago
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thebiggerbear Main Writing Masterlist
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Call My Name (Soldier Boy) - Grace Mallory, the Boys, and the government have all warily agreed to your plan to take down Homelander. There’s just one more person to add to the operation, the very person who is necessary for any measure of the plan’s success. Can you convince him to join the team and help you defeat Homelander once and for all?
Keep Me Inside (Soldier Boy) - When you took a job at Vought International to pay the bills, you never could have imagined just how much your life was about to change. Especially when you catch the eye of a certain Supe.
Only Ever Holding Onto You (Beau Arlen) - When Beau Arlen called and asked you to join him at the Lewis & Clark County Sheriff’s Department, you knew you should have turned him down. Sure, he made a great case for your relocation, but it was the sound of his voice that had you putting in for an immediate transfer. After all, he was worried and needed you; how could you say no? Yet, the more time you spend in Big Sky Country, the more you wonder if you should have stayed in Houston.
The Ghosts Are Coming For You (Beau Arlen) - When you moved to Montana, you figured you’d be in for a much quieter, more slow-paced lifestyle compared to the big city one you had left behind. Meeting Lewis and Clark County’s youngest sheriff while working a string of murders in your new position in Homicide turns out to be anything but — especially when things start to hit a little too close to home and remind you of things you thought you’d left buried long ago. 
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Closer (Russell Shaw x Female!Reader) - Now that Russell knows the truth about you, there isn’t anything he won’t do to try to get you out. Even if it means he might have to move up the timeline of his exit strategy earlier than planned.
Follow Me Into the Dark (Dean Winchester) - Tragedy has struck in your life, quickly and without warning, leaving you completely devastated. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Dean Winchester rolls into town and he and his brother are starting to ask questions. Questions that you are not prepared to answer though you have a question of your own: just what the hell is Dean doing darkening your doorstep again?
i need your hand but i don't want to burn it (Beau Arlen) - You receive a phone call letting you know a family member has passed. The news rocks your world, especially when you find yourself flying back home for the services, returning to a place you’d rather forget. As your best friend, Beau is trying to be there for you but you’re determined to go it alone. But since you’ve known him, when has Beau Arlen ever not had your back?
i want better for you...what's better for you than me? (Jensen Ackles RPF) - Your heart is broken and you’re currently going through a divorce that didn’t have to happen. Will you give Jensen the chance to explain everything that came about from that one night in Rome when you weren’t there?
Nothing But Killing Time (Alec McDowell) - Manticore has recaptured you and this time, you've been assigned a breeding partner. From the moment you meet, it's evident that neither you nor X5-494 have anything in mind other than a means of escape. Can you two come up with a plan together to break out and reclaim your freedom? Or will Manticore come between you and shatter the fragile trust you've built?
Their Silent Thunder Matches Mine (Beau x Cassie) - After a night of drinking and her walls coming down, Cassie makes a decision that could have repercussions on both of her friendships with Beau and Jenny.
You Know What You're Here For (Multiple Pairings - Big Sky) - Sometimes the pace in Helena slows down and when it does, other things can happen. (aka I came in and smutted up the place in Big Sky) (moved to AO3)
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Close Enough (Russell Shaw) - When you’d met the Shaws at the morgue the day before, you thought that had been the end of it and you wouldn’t need to see one Shaw brother in particular again. Little did you know that Colter was about to once again ask for your help and not only would you be forced to see Russell again but things were about to change drastically for the both of you.
Come Pick Up Your Ghosts (Jensen Ackles RPF) - Jensen left a little…something behind on his last visit when he was in town. Something you are urgently asking him to come back and retrieve so you can know peace once more.
Giving In (Character x Reader) - You’ve finally given in to what you’ve wanted all this time but will it be enough?
i won't let you go (CJ Braxton) - When Jen breaks CJ’s heart, though you hadn’t planned on it, her loss quickly becomes your gain and so much more.
Let Me In Or Let It Drown (Rebecca Jessel) - A missing moment between Rebecca and Peter once Viola’s spell was broken and all of the souls at Bly Manor are free (moved to AO3)
Let Me Set Your World on Fire (Michael!Dean) - While on a hunt, you all get stuck in an abandoned cabin in the woods due to a snowstorm that comes out of nowhere. It’s cold as hell (Cas’ fact checking not withstanding) and both you and Dean are trying to fight off the icy temperatures. When Cas offers his coat to Dean, in usual Michael fashion, the archangel offers you something bigger and more to his liking than a simple article of clothing to keep you warm.
Moving Forward Little By Little (Bobby Reyes) - You knew you shouldn’t have let him in that first night he showed up with alcohol in hand to talk about Jamie. But you had and now your partner never fails to show up at your door. The bad thing is, you don’t really want him to stop though you know you should.
Off Limits (Russell Shaw) - When Reenie sends you to assist Colter with whatever he needs after getting arrested for breaking into a morgue in Virginia, you meet his older brother Russell for the first time. There’s some flirting and definitely a mutual attraction there before you Colter sends you off. Little do you know at the time that Colter has warned Russell that you’re off limits and that Russell has no intention of listening to said warning.
So Close (Russell Shaw) - You meet Colter and Russell at the morgue to help them gain access. Had you known how this was really going to go, you might have pushed Colter’s call to voicemail.
Something Like This (CJ Braxton) - A Nor'easter hits Boston and luckily for you, you don’t have anywhere you need to be except right here, snuggled up with CJ.
Something Real (Soldier Boy) - You had offered him the chance for something the two of you could build, something real, if he gave up the suit for good.
Thankful (Soldier Boy) - It’s Father’s Day again and you have an extra special present for Ben this time around.
where all the dreamers go (Beau x Cassie) - When Beau asked Cassie to speak with him outside alone for a minute, she had no idea just where that conversation would lead and what she would be agreeing to.
You Didn't See That Coming (Pietro x Wanda) - Wanda had never known pain like thia. After everything she and Pietro had endured, why did this have to happen?
you taught me the courage of stars (Dean x Castiel) - (15x18 AU) When Chuck snaps his fingers, Dean figures that’s it. Everything they had worked hard to avoid, everything they had fought for, everyone they had lost along the way, Sam, Jack, Cas – this is the end. They had lost. Or had they?
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"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Alec McDowell) - You’re looking for a way to set yourself up and blend in after breaking out of Manticore. Having heard the rumors, you seek out Max for help. In doing so, you come across someone you had never thought you’d see again.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Anael) - Anael calls you to pick her up after she leaves Cas back at the Emporium. Having just come off of a rough hunt, you’re really not that inclined to be at the angel’s beck and call.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Beau Arlen) - He put you with Hoyt and Tonya. For the day. What the hell had he been thinking?
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (CJ Braxton) - You had only meant to call once, remaining anonymous while feeling out the whole helpline thing for yourself. Now, you talk to CJ every Friday night around the same time. When you don’t call one Friday, CJ is worried and comes looking for you which presents its own host of problems.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Dean Winchester) - You and Dean refuse to speak to one another after an argument and Sam has finally had enough.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Jason Teague) - When another student makes an unwanted move on you, Jason’s not above flexing his assistant coach authority muscle a little to get the guy to leave you alone and send a message.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Jenny Hoyt) - You decide to ground Jenny for the day and as expected, she’s pissed…or is she?
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Rachel Gatina) - Rachel, who has never spoken to you before, approaches you to ask for a favor. Despite what Bevin said, Rachel decides that she has to gauge this whole “being into girls” thing properly. And she’s picked you to help her with that. …Lucky you.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (SDV Leah) - Leah tells you she wants a baby…a month after you’ve been married.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Soldier Boy) - You’re pissed that he put himself at risk yet again.
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." (Tom Hanniger) - You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine’s Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that’s happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?
"I took care of that asshole for you." "I don't like the sound of that." (Soldier Boy) - When Ben mentions something to you in the middle of battle, your attempt at a little levity turns the conversation in a direction that probably would have been better kept off of Comms during a mission.
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Heartbreak (Beau x Cassie) - Jenny is witness to the first Christmas Beau is in Montana and spends at Cassie’s
Kiss Me Again (Beau x Cassie) - where trying to sneak around isn’t necessarily Beau and Cassie’s strong suit as they come to find out
Masks (Dean x Castiel) - where the Winchesters are attempting to get lunch during the pandemic & Jack finally works up the courage to ask for a dog
Nerves (Beau x Cassie) - where Beau’s nerves are making themselves known & Cassie decides to intervene
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Anael) - Anael is not happy that you’ve agreed to help the Winchesters with their far-fetched plan to destroy Chuck via Jack. She reluctantly accompanies you to the Bunker and this sets events in motion that prompt a conversation between you and Dean on just why the angel is so important to you.
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Beau Arlen) - Your house is broken into one night when Beau wasn’t home and now you find yourself expecting it to happen again at any moment. Will you ever feel safe in your home again?
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Dean Winchester) - When Sam calls to tell you that Dean is gone, you can’t accept it. Not until you visit the offline Bunker and see for yourself. …But is he really gone?
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Jason Teague) - Jason has just helped you escape the clutches of his nefarious mother. Where will you go from here now that you know the truth?
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Jenny Hoyt) - When Jenny is attacked, you couldn’t get to the hospital fast enough. You do what you can to reassure her that her mother will be found while you sit with her, waiting for the doctor.
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (SDV Alex) - Alex sees something through your window one night and it scares him silly. You have to explain to him that it’s pretty normal out here on the farm and there is nothing to fear. …Well, you were pretty sure there wasn’t, anyway.
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Soldier Boy) - You’re tired of running and you go to Soldier Boy for protection. He agrees to do it but not without a price.
"Sleep. I'll keep you safe." (Tom Hanniger) - Tom has taken you hostage. This is not the Tom you knew and fell in love with. Unable to escape, can you get him to trust you and maybe even reach him?
"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." (Jake Gray) - When you go with Jake to visit his mom, you encounter a young woman who inexplicably sets you on edge and has you sticking that much closer to the boy who has your heart.
"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." (Jensen Ackles RPF) - Jensen says something at a con that initially bothers you that prompts a conversation where you admit that there are certain parts of his job that you could easily do without, not sure how that’s going to impact your friendship moving forward.
"What do you see in him?" "Everything you don't." (Soldier Boy) - Hughie and everyone don’t understand what you see in Soldier Boy but they also haven’t seen what you’ve seen: Ben.
when were you going to tell me (Dean Winchester) - After finding out you concealed something from him on a hunt, Dean is not happy with you and he definitely does not appreciate your attempts at humor on the subject.
why are you wearing my sweater (because it smells like you) (Bella x Jacob) - where Jacob gets ready to meet Bella at a bonfire the Pack is hosting and can’t find his hoodie
"You're safe now. I'm here." (Russell Shaw) Part 1 - You've been taken hostage and Russell is part of the unit sent in to retrieve you.
"You're safe now. I'm here." (SDV Leah) - When Leah rushes into the house one night and starts fortifying the door, you immediately try to find out what has her so scared.
"You're safe now. I'm here." (Soldier Boy) - Soldier Boy has been on a ton of dangerous missions in his time, fought a lot of battles, but never did he imagine he would be undertaking the one you had just tasked him with. Shit.
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*Requests are currently closed*
Upcoming:
SDV Leah (AO3)
Dean | Castiel (Tumblr)
Maggie Greene (Tumblr)
Margaery Tyrell (Tumblr)
Billy Butcher (AO3)
Soldier Boy (Tumblr)
Dean Winchester (Tumblr)
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3x07 - After Dell (Beau x Cassie) - where Cassie finds out just how worried Beau was when he saw how close Dell had been to her
A Prize Unlike Any Other (SDV Leah) - You may not have gotten the Golden Pumpkin but that’s alright, you got a different prize altogether.
At the Boot Heel (Beau x Cassie) - where Beau and Cassie have a moment (alternate scene from Thunder universe)
no one's the new me (Soldier Boy) - Soldier Boy is the OG Supe. You goad him into proving it and get more than you bargained for…or did you?
where is she? (Soldier Boy) - Soldier Boy only has one thought in mind when Homelander wakes him up: you.
Where Were You On Our Wedding Day (SDV Leah) - You decide to go mining the morning of your wedding and Leah is not happy about it.
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Upcoming project for multiple characters
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every king needs a queen (Soldier Boy) - Homelander makes you an offer that you are all too happy to refuse
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You Win, Jake (Bella x Jacob) - Scene post-BD where Jacob and Bella compare war stories, playing a game of who wins the supernatural like they used to when comparing life skills for ages
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Connected Series List - a listing of all works that appears within the same story universe
Fic Requests List
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tag list submission form
Or please let me know if you would like to be tagged in any current series or future works.
Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel
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book & section dividers by @firefly-graphics
imagines header & support banner by @cafekitsune
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naturalswimmingspirit · 1 month ago
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elaine_doyle_
Kneeling faintly at the footsteps of the deep initiations that crash like waves over me again and again and again
I deeply bow & surrender And I say thank you Thank you for pulling me into truth The truth that dissolves all shadows
Deep into my inner well of knowing That I called you in Every single one of you Cracking me open Into the utter destruction that is the awakening path For change is my natural state Like a caterpillar morphing into the butterfly The beast becoming the beauty Crawling out of the shell of my ancestral pains & deep untruths For the bud to become the rose
Through the crashing waves I rebirth myself again and again and again A million thousand pieces I lie on the womb of the ocean floor Calling all parts of my higher self back into my body to be become whole & holy once again
Chaos, heartbreak, pain & love I say thank you For reminding me of why I came here For my soul to expand and stretch beyond all limitations A promise I made to myself eons ago To return here now In the midst of this golden age To reclaim the way of love To remember the mysteries of the rose
Grounded in peace, heart wide open ,kneeling at the footsteps of these crashing waves I trust, from the ecstasy to the agony, to the joy to the grief, the bloom to the fall, that life is happening for me not to me for the pain is the portal to my souls liberation & I am no longer afraid of these crashing waves 🕊✨🌹🐍
📸 @kateflomurphy
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elaine_doyle_
Can you feel the intense energy? 2022 was predicted to be the most intense year of the great awakening yet. A reminder ,this transition that earth is in, this falling away of all that isn’t in alignment so she can increase her vibration and frequency started in 2012 and is said to last until 2032 and is the initiation into the golden age that will last 2’000 years. This is why so many of us are feeling the pull to heal ourselves and others. As the earth increases her vibration none of us can escape the intensity whether we are conscious of it or not. 🌀 So we are smack bang in the middle of this transition, summer solstice 2022 being the midpoint between 2012 & 2032. So of course this is going to feel like perhaps the most intense, density & also the crossing over into a magical threshold of ourmost divine , authentic, passionate, focused self. For me personally when I tuned into the energy of 2022 the word that kept coming to me was solitude. 🌀 There is so much transmissions, healing & remembrance that deep silence and solitude has been essential. Which is hard because I love and desire community deeply but the last while has showed me I cannot deny my need for deep silence and aloneness & honestly in that space I am finding the bliss & remembrance my soul is yearning for. Which is ironic as there is now so much gatherings and opportunities for social contact . It’s like spirit is testing me (us) how much can you really give your body and soul what it needs. How much can you trust that in solitude you will meet all of your own needs. I do feel the unpredictable weather in Ireland is also reflecting the energy ; the need for hibernation and rest for us all. 🌀 For me It feels to good to finally acknowledge the part of me that is a massive introvert and witnessing it’s power. I want to acknowledge here my lack of response to messages gatherings etc is in no way personal and I feel it’s important to mention this and for us all to set some boundaries with a device that can force us into constant informal contact which is now way beneficial to our soul. 🌀
I feel I am transforming and changing so rapidly right now I just don’t have the ability to have anything less than solid boundaries to allow the space the upgrades deeply need. 🌀 Also for me there is so much remembrance flooding in from other lifetimes that I am continuing to pause offering regular space holding of others to truly focus on my own path. It feels strange at times as for along time my life was dedicated to helping others and honestly one of the most courageous things I’ve done is pulling back from all of that, to really hold and give space to myself, my heart, my longing for freedom and deep healing & remembrance. 🌀 The past few weeks I have had another massive death and rebirth again wow this has just been so continuous over the past 3 years and as magical as it is it’s also extremely exhausting . As I rebirth each time my energy is that of a new born and I am thrown into deep surrender of what is possible given the energy levels & within this the most DIVINE consciousness arrives, that of unconditional love, forgiveness, non judgment and that is what this golden age is all about. Raising our vibration by raising our consciousness. 🌀 I am also excited for the time when it comes , to share and hold space again I have just so much juicy reflections of this healing journey to share but you know there is no rush this great awakening is only getting started and as we honour our own path we fall back into the flow on the divine. 🌀 Would love to hear what you are all navigating during this midpoint? As we share our story we allow humanity to breath and remember they are not alone on this path. 🌀 Míle Buíochas to the priestess herself @kateflomurphy for capturing this moment at the sacred waters in Donegal. My first social outing in weeks 😂 Grà Mòr Léan 🌀🌹✨
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violetlunette · 8 months ago
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A Hopeless Wish
Summary: After dealing with his grandson, Malleus returns to the tower.
Sequel to this
Later that night, when the moon was high, Malleus returned to the room, his black robes sweeping across the polished floors.
The moonlight flowed in, bathing the room in white and illuminating all within. With a motion of Malleus' hand, the curtains were pulled aside for the old king.
He took a seat near the top of the bed, though usually he sat at the end. The dragon didn’t look at Silver right away, instead focusing on the blanket. His long, pale fingers smoothed the edges of the sheets his grandchild had messed up. A soft smile crossed his lips.
“I see you met Mallow,” he said to Silver in a quiet tone. “He’s Lily’s and Baulder’s son. Baulder is Sebek’s great-grandson. I told you of their curious engagement long ago, remember…?” Only the faint breaths of a deep slumber met him, as usual. Yet Malleus continued to speak as if doing so could change—something.
“Well. It’s better than when Lily found you. She thought I was keeping a corpse here.” Though, for all intents and purposes, perhaps he was.
Malleus traced the gold bird designs of the blanket, a recent replacement of others over the centuries.
“...Mallow reminds me a lot of Sebek, though he’s a bit more haughty, just like his mother. I’ll admit that’s partly my fault. I spoil him far too much. Hopefully, he’ll grow out of it.” A chuckle slipped between the pale lips. “Don’t let that fool you, however. He’s as soft as a marshmallow. Though he would pout if you told him that…” The laughter echoed around the room before silence fell once more.
A weight fell on Malleus’ shoulders.
For ten thousand years, Malleus came to see the knight, praying for even the slightest change. And yet...
He looked away; his sorrow had long since been past tears. After ten thousand years, what was there left to say?
He told Mallow that he had hope, but in truth, he lost that eons ago. Now all Malleus had was a pitiful wish.
Taking a deep breath through his nose, Malleus looked at the teenager, lost among dreams.
“Silver… Please.” Malleus’ hand moved to the other’s. “Wake up. Please.” Every night, he seemed to plead this. And he wasn’t the only one. He recalled Lilia making the same wish every night before he died, and Sebek as well.
They hung a wish on every star they could find. It hadn't done any good so far.
Malleus could only dream of the past and the boy, but his memories were starting to fade.
He couldn’t remember the boy’s laugh, his small habits, or even his voice anymore. Even Silver's eyes were a distant memory.
Malleus sighed and looked away, watching his shadow in the moonlight.
Thanks to Silver, Malleus lived a good life. His kind lived in peace with humans and beastmen, and he had a beautiful family he adored above all. Without the bravery of his knight, none of that would have happened. That was part of why he kept the other for so long.
But even for a dragon, Malleus was old. And once he was gone, who would care for Silver? Who would be left to remember him?
Would the human be lost to time? Hidden among the thorns and dust till time itself ended? Forgotten by the world?
Malleus reached into his robes and withdrew a long dagger. It glinted in the light with a soft shing.
Malleus’ face was carved from stone as he looked at his reflection in the silver blade.
‘Maybe, after all this time, it’s time to end this.’ It broke his heart to even consider it, but it seemed kinder than the option of leaving him to sleep alone forever.
‘At least then he may be able to meet Lilia and Sebek again.’ The other two spent so long trying to get Silver back. Perhaps, in the other world, they could be reunited at last.
And yet--something stayed his hand.
With a shaky breath, he lowered the blade. He then turned to Silver and reached out with his other hand, brushing the starlit bangs from the closed eyes.
“Silver, I… everything I have is because of you, Lilia, and Sebek,” he said softly, cupping the other’s face as he recalled all he had gained over these long years. “We lived our lives. Now, it’s time to live your life. So, please...Please, Silver. Wake up.”
Wake up.
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astoryisaloveaffair · 2 years ago
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Fix You - Chapter 14: Enjoy the Silence
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Gif by @hunterschafer
Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader
Fic Masterlist
Read on A03
Spotify Playlist
»»———————►
Chapter Summary: The final heat...
Word Count: 7k
Rating: R
Chapter Warnings: Cussing, violence. I will not be warning anything else due to spoiling the story. We are all grown. You can stop reading when you want to.
A/N: Has it really been a year? I wish I had a better excuse than "I haven't been doing great." But that's what it is. I've had huge changes in my life. New job, new career, new goals, and a greater sense of self-worth. I'm feeling a lot better. But my new schedule is busy! Hopefully you can forgive me for such a long cliffhanger.
Finally, a heads up. This has been the arc I have been working towards for almost two years, and I'm not going to waver. Just stick with me like you have been. It’ll be worth it.
I also did the absolute most and made a specific playlist just for this chapter here.
Forever thank you to everyone who commented, reblogged, shared, boosted, made content for, and supported me. It meant a lot and definitely kept this fic in the back of my mind. As always, most love to my girl @musings-of-a-rose who has tolerated me being a shitty friend for a whole ass year, and always talking things through with me in life and in this fic. Cheers.
Suggested Songs: Depeche Mode "Enjoy the Silence", Fitz and the Tantrums: "Out of My League", Lizzo "Truth Hurts", Michael Kiwanuka "Cold Little Heart", Cigarettes After Sex "Cry", Guster "Demons"
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Frankie and you decided to break your apartment lease starting October 1st. Fall term started on the 30th of August, and you wanted time to settle into your schedule before planning a move. You spent almost all your time at his house anyway, only stopping back at your apartment for more clothes. Frankie had already given you a row of drawers to keep your things in.
You’d honestly never been happier, both on cloud 9 and it never faded, you were incredibly excited to begin this new start with Frankie and Gabi. It all seemed to have happened so fast. It had only been five months, you hadn’t even told your family about him yet, mostly to avoid comments on the age gap. 
You were relieved the hiccup in your relationship settled, you didn’t like feeling unsure or that someone resented you. When you started feeling secure again, you clung to it. That sparkle of joy was hard to keep in check.
You picked your Fall schedule out together and spent the remaining weeks of summer basking in your relationship, playing with Gabi, going out with the guys, and constant fucking. But your most favorite thing was still lying on the couch with Frankie, teasing each other and watching bad TV.
“This is simultaneously the best and worst movie I have ever seen in my life. I don’t understand how they achieved this.”
Frankie shrugs, reaching to your lap for the giant bowl of popcorn, his eyes still glazed to the TV where Mad Max: Fury Road is playing. “I dunno. Who cares? It’s cars and chaos!”
“And Tom Hardy. And Charlize Theron.”
He pinches you on the waist, acting threatened by your thirst just to tease you. “You ever been to a demo derby? This kind of reminds me of it.”
You sit up from where your back is resting against his chest. “Um, no? Isn’t that kind of…for rednecks?”
He laughs, his eyes crinkling. “I’m not sure if you noticed, but Benny and Will are rednecks. But no, it’s for anyone who likes cars crashing into each other. There’s actually one at the fair every year. We always go to it. You should come.”
“I’m not going to a demo derby.”
“Aw come on! It’ll be fun! First time for Gabi too, and there’s rides and games and funnel cake and fried oreos—” He pauses as you hold your hand up to silence him.
“I’ll go. You had me at ‘funnel cake.’”
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The fair is packed. The final hurrah of the summer before kids return to school and university students dive back into their studies. The derby started at 8 PM sharp, you, Dali, and the boys got there plenty early to look around a bit, get some food, and find seats.
You forgo any typical entree and go right for the funnel cake, heaping fruit and extra powdered sugar on it until the plate is a big mound of sweet. The guys had talked you up on this for days, Benny wouldn’t shut up about it, and you found yourself excited to watch. Your legs bounce impatiently as you scarf down your cake, breaking off pieces here and there to feed to Gabi and your boys.
The seats were bleachers, hard metal planks that hurt your butt and back and caught vibration from every footfall, but Pope sat behind you so you could lean back against his legs to be more comfortable. 
It’s a long wait. The bleachers eventually fill up, you certainly had the best seat in the house (thank you Will), and you could see the hoods up of participating cars behind the commentator podium. The air is musty, the odor of wet dirt from a quick August shower earlier that day.
When the first round of vehicles start revving their engines, Frankie pulls some earphones for Gabi and secures it to her head. Once he’s sure she’s comfortable, he quickly runs you through the basic rules. “So there’s several ‘heats’, and which heat you’re in is based on how many cylinders the car has. Last car moving is the winner, but you can’t just avoid the other cars the whole time. No continuing if your car starts sparking from the engine, no hitting the driver side door, and no hitting anyone who’s already out.” 
“Wait, cars catch on fire in this?”
Before Frankie can answer, the announcer calls out the first heat and you almost choke at the state of the cars coming out. They were completely dilapidated, windows punched out and hood frames reinforced with extra steel. It looked like each entry had about 5 different parts all from different cars, horrendous paint jobs, and one of them even had a stuffed dinosaur duct taped to the hood. Some of them looked like they had already been hit by cars, parts hanging off and bumpers pressing in on itself. None of these cars would last at all. There’s no way...
The rink was surrounded by giant cement cinder blocks creating a large “rink” type area. The contestants lined the front bumpers of their vehicles up parallel to each other at the barricades separating the cars from the bleachers, alternately revving their engines during the countdown.
“Okay, so, usually we all pick the car we think is going to win.” Benny says. You lean forward to look over the assortment of jacked up cars for this heat, eventually settling on an old Toyota Corolla painted a matte black. Benny chooses the dino car, Will chooses a Dodge Stealth with it’s headlights hanging outside the socket, Dali and Pope argue over a Ford Taurus whose back end was already smashed into the back seats, and Frankie chooses a Chevy Impala, which you immediately regret not taking because it has such a long front and back end. Lots of room for smashing and being able to keep going.
Gabi jumps up and down on Frankie’s lap as he points out things to her over the sounds of engines and a countdown, and then the cars are off off, engines roaring and dirt kicking up as they all reverse at full speed, several of them crunching up in the middle while others circle around the perimeters.
It soon becomes clear to you that there is no rhyme or reason to which car makes it and which doesn’t. Pope’s Taurus didn’t even start and is eliminated after 2 minutes of no movement, and whoever is driving the boxy piece of shit Honda Accord that Dali had to select is a fucking maniac, winding and weaving at full speed backwards, hitting whoever gets in their way. Her choice is the winner of that heat. 
Most of them are driving backwards, and Will tells you it’s because they are trying to protect the engine. You deflate in your seat a little in disappointment, but he assures you that as the heat winds down and there's fewer cars taking up the space, the drivers and announcer will get impatient and they will hit each other head to head.
You’re shocked at how much you enjoy it. At one point a car hits the passenger side door of another so hard that it is pushed up and onto the barricade wall from the inertia, hanging from an angle as the crowd jeers and shrieks in excitement. One car flips over completely, another’s engine bursts into flames and the crowd all starts crying out caution because the announcer can’t see it. You’ve never seen anything like it before and there was so much fire you were sure the whole thing would blow up, but the driver slid out the glassless driver’s side window like it was no big deal and walked it off.
There is something satisfying about two cars hitting each other at full speed, the bodies of them crunching, wheels hanging off axles, bumpers being dragged behind and run over by other drivers, cars with mangled pieces becoming stuck to each other so they can’t separate until another car hits them, tires completely gone and cars only moving on its hubs. It’s chaos in a safe format, a way to experience destruction and violence in a way that feels good and unharmful. 
Gabi has never been so amazed in her entire life, her mouth hangs open and she wriggles against her dad to see everything, laughing every time a collision happens. The audience oohs and ahhs and boos and screams and cheers and teases, you and your friends join the clamor as you have your own mini competition with yourselves.  
Giant fork tractors come into the arena area to lift the cars that can’t move anymore, some guys are able to get theirs back up and running, driving them to the sides to shape up for the final Battle Royale.
The final heat is fucking wild. All the cars that were already battered enough before they even began to come back out, returned to do another round for the final winner. With all the action you’d barely even noticed that contestants whose cars were still driveable had spent the remaining heats beyond the barricades hammering and reforming their vehicles enough to compete again. 
And at the end, the winner of all faces the crowd, pulls off their helmet to reveal a thick curly mass of long hair.  The winner is a woman. You and Dali cheer until your throats hurt.
It’s over too soon. There’s a mass exodus the instant the derby is over, the packed stadium standing and pouring down the stairs pressing so tight that you and your boys decide to hang back until it thins out. You lead the way, Frankie’s large and warm hand grazing your waist as you slowly move down the stairs and back out into the fair, turning to wait for the rest of your friends to make it out.
“What next?” Benny says when you are all reunited. “More food? Games? Rides?”
“I’m not eating more before getting on rides, let's do those now.” Says Frankie, grumbling as he hears you tease him with Benny. He whips his head around to glare at you. “Just you wait until you get older and start getting sick on rides, I cannot wait to make fun of you back.”
The wait for the ride tickets is long, but it leaves plenty of time for the group to decide how many are needed. Who is riding what, who isn’t, what pairings and who will watch Gabi on the rides she can’t do. You’re surprised when Will and Pope back out of the Zipper, leaving you and Benny as a pairing for that.
Riding it was a mistake. The ride is basically a giant airborne conveyer belt with completely enclosed containers for people hanging off it that were 360 degree capable. And it lasted FOREVER. You lose some of your funnel cake behind the ride out of sight, threatening violence on Benny if he outs you to the others. 
But it didn’t stop you from riding The Freak Out immediately afterwards, a rotating pendulum swing that made you feel like you were going to be catapulted out of your seat. The ride seated 4 groups of 4 so that in between squeezing your eyes shut, you could catch watery glimpses of Benny red-faced and cackling hysterically, Will’s chants of “ohfuckohfuckohfuckOHfuckOHFUCKOHSHIT FUCCCCCCK!”, and Frankie looking…absolutely fine. It was almost disturbing really, he was calm and collected, the only hint that this might have been something other than a nice drive in his truck was his giant smile, the tears leaking from his squinted eyes, his chocolate curls whipping around in the breeze as his hands clutch his hat in his lap with a steel grip.
“How the fuck were you so calm?!” You gasp as you stumble off the rickety landing platform. You hadn’t moved yet you felt like you had run a mile, your heart was beating so fast from the adrenaline it almost felt like you might have a heart attack. 
Frankie shrugs. “Feels like a copter in a bad air current.” 
You simply stare blinking. 
“No, he’s always like this. Like this one time, we were flying in a helo over the Andes mountains, and—”
A sharp stare from Frankie that he tries to hide from you makes Benny backpedal. 
“Uhhh yea we were flying over some mountains and the air current was wild but we got over the mountains just fine and everything was fine and we were fine.”
Your heart seizes in your chest, that same feeling of not being told something creeping up. You hate it. You push it back down, swallowing heavily to center yourself. “So I assume you were fine.”
“Yea. Yea. Cat is a good pilot.” 
You hum, the panic still not leaving your chest.
Frankie grabs your hand as you walk. “It happened a lot, I just got used to it.”
“It happened a lot?”
“Yea. I mean, sometimes we were flying through shit climates, sometimes even pursued. Doesn’t make for a smooth ride. I’m just used to it. They always scream bloody murder though.” Frankie smiles softly.
“Oh.”
You go silent, continuing to walk to the next destination: the scrambler. You had already established you would not ride and Dali wanted some funnel cake herself, so she heads off while you stay off to the side with Gabi to watch, lost in your own thoughts.
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“Just don’t fucking talk about that, none of that. That never happened.” Frankie seethes to Benny as they are strapped into the ride. 
“Sorry dude, I can’t read your thoughts. I figured she knew.”
“No. I don’t want her to know. No one else needs to know about it.”
Benny falls silent, looking to Will beside him. Pope lowers his head, choosing to say nothing.
“Catfish…you have to.” Says Will.
“No the fuck I don’t. I never want her to know. If she knows…she’ll actually see ‘real me’. ‘Fuck-up me.” And I don't want her to yet. I don’t want to lose her yet. I don’t want her to be afraid. Stop fucking looking at me like that.”
They stop. But only because the ride starts, and they can’t see anything other than blurs.
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You hate this feeling, this fluttering in your stomach like something is wrong but your heart knows, it knows it’s fine. It has to be. Your mind is spinning, trying to combat the rising anxiety clenching in your chest, doing gymnastics to find reasons to not be alarmed.
He’s not lying about something. He’s not. …He promised….I’m just overthinking this…
You can’t. You refuse to even think about it. Confronting the terrible possibility that you might’ve done it again, you might have thrown yourself all in to someone only to—-no. 
He’s not lying. He’s not. …He promised….he’s different. I’m just overthinking this…
You can feel butterflies bubbling in your stomach and you feel like you might throw up. Fucking men. You huff in frustration and try to distract yourself with your surroundings, watching people on rides, sharing funnel cake. Your eyes scan over two men staring at you silently by a skewered chicken cart and in your current mood it makes you furious. “What the fuck are you staring at?!” You growl at them. They say nothing and slowly walk away, disappearing into the crowd. Fucking. Men.
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You try not to let your emotions show. You sit back while Gabi goes on some rides for her age, using the time to rehydrate and calm yourself down. Living through Gabi’s joy helps.. She’s having a blast, choosing a different person to pair with for each time ride. Pope in the Wacky House, the Helicopters with her dad, Benny on the mini Viking ship. Once you feel better you join in to play bumper cars (Will and Gabi win) and ride the high-rise swings with her seated in the cool metal chair next to you, Benny singing along to the ambient speakers playing “Out of My League” so loud eventually all the other teens on the ride join in.You enjoy the mini coaster more than you thought you would considering it’s for kids Gabi’s age, you and Dali are the only others who can fit in the seats, no matter how hard Benny tried. It was easy to quickly forget.
After the coaster, Gabi begins to slow down, so you hit the fried oreo stand, paying for several batches despite protestation and alternately feeding everyone as the group slowly walks through the agricultural parts of the fair. It’s calmer here, the air warm and quiet. The pathway is less crowded so Gabi is able to frolic around on the walkway in front of you safely. 
You walk through every barn, stopping to pet every animal. She’s a natural with them. Completely fearless, not one flicker of apprehension as she approaches cows and horses that are easily 6 times her height, paying close attention to her dad in how to not spook them. Everyone finds the goats to be the favorite because of the sounds they make. Even more so when Frankie engages in a screaming contest back and forth with a bunch of them until someone shoos them out of the pavilion.
Soon, all the sugar Gabi consumed rears its ugly head in the rabbit barn, she throws a fit when Frankie won’t let her get a pet rabbit and you only just catch her upper arm in time to keep her from collapsing on the filthy barn floor. You’re surprised she held out so long. Even you were crashing and getting tired. Also, the rabbits were ridiculously cute.
“Listen Gabi, how about we ride the ferris wheel? Would you like that?” You kneel before her, swiping the tears off her cheeks as she catches her breath. “It goes really high! Higher than the swings!” She nods, sniffing in a snot bubble as she takes your hand. The two of you lead the way, and as you get closer and closer, you start to regret your decision. 
It’s much taller than the Freak Out. By more than 100 feet. It doesn’t look very stable either.
“Wait...this…this looks kind of high, don’t you think?” You turn to the guys, trying to conceal the wavering in your voice. You were scared enough at 70 feet. This was more like 200.
“Height requirement says she’s fine. And it’s enclosed, goes really slow. Come on.” Frankie takes you by the hand and your heart leaps into your throat, your feet skidding across the lawn as you try to pull back. 
A light shove pushes you forward and you turn to glare at Will as he smirks down at you. “If you don’t go I’m never going to let you hear the end of it. Not after you called us “old and broken down.”
Well shit.
“Fine.”
You’re shaking when it’s your turn, the group mad dashing to three cars next to each other so you could talk throughout. Benny pairs with Pope, Gabi is vibrating with excitement as she’s put into a carriage by Will and Dali, and Frankie is beaming as he motions you towards the left car. He pats your butt as you gingerly step in, waiting until you’re seated before joining you and taking your hand. 
“Babe…are you okay?”
You swallow, grateful it’s dark enough he can’t see you trembling. “Yep. I’m good.” 
He leans forward in his seat, the glowing phosphorescence of the lights of the ride and around the fair bathing him halfway in a multicolored glow. tThe colors and shadows fold into the angles of his face like rainbow chiaroscuro, an angular stained glass window. He takes your hand again, yours is swallowed in his palm and you close your eyes as he rubs his thumb across the top. The dark beat of Depeche Mode pounds against your chest and echoes in your ears and you briefly imagine this is what it must feel like to drop acid.
“Your hands are really sweaty…and you’re breathing really fast. Are you sure you’re okay? Hey…” He squeezes your palm and you open your eyes to meet his. “It’s okay if you’re scared. I won’t joke anymore about it, I’m sorry.”
You swallow. “It’s just really really high.”
Frankie watches the ride operator out of the corner of his eye passing their car as he makes sure everyone is safely locked in before tugging on your arm slightly. You slide forward minutely, he meets you more than halfway with his large limbs and rests his hands on your hips. You gasp as the ride jolts and begins rolling, lifting the cabs up in the air. His calloused fingertip pushes your head back up.
“How about I distract you.” He murmurs, shifting forward one inch more, tilting his neck as his soft pouty lips meet yours. 
You close your eyes, trying to lose your self awareness into him and his mouth and the soft skin of his nose that bumps your cheek and tickles your nose with its little breaths. 
The lift mechanism suddenly shudders, clunking over something and it feels like when you run over a squirrel in your car. You inhale sharply against Frankie’s lips as your cab jostles back and forth. Not much, but enough for you to slam yourself back against your seat and clutch the seat bottom as hard as you can. Your heart beats wildly and you imagine the ride breaking and dropping you on the ground to be crushed to death by this stupid fucking metal cab.
You feel pressure on your knees and look down, focusing hard to not see double from fear. Frankie cups both in his hands, thumbs lightly stroking the inside of your thighs. “It’s okay.” He reassures, squeezing your knees once more. “Probably an under-greased cog, it’s nothing. They test these things like 50 times a day.”
You simply stare, forcing yourself to nod. 
“Close your eyes.”
You open your mouth to argue then close it and obey. You trust Frankie, and it can’t be any worse. 
“Just focus on me. And…you hear the music? It’s called “Enjoy the Silence.��� I was obsessed with this song when it came out. And can you hear Benny below us? I can hear Gabi laughing too. We’re all okay, you’re okay too.”
You bite your lips into your mouth, focusing on the song and Frankie’s husky voice. The meditative synth pop calms you, and the carefree voices of your friends below does help calm you, but you can’t slow down your heartbeat. 
“I’m okay. Just too much adrenaline.”
The hands on your knees slide up your bare thighs and wrap around the bottoms of them. Frankie pulls you forward in your seat with a smirk. “I’m feeling a little amped up too.”
“Frankie.”
He doesn’t respond, his sole focus on your thighs as his hands slide up and up and up until he is just able to slip the tip of one of his fingers under one leg of your shorts. For some reason, it pisses you off.
“Frankie!” You hiss. “People could see us.”
“Nah…” He shushes you, his finger sliding lower. 
You clamp your legs shut and push his hand back in his direction. “Frankie, I don’t want to right here.” 
He sits up. “Oh.”
Suddenly you hear Benny’s voice from below. “Hello we are underneath you guys! I don’t want to hear any hooking up sounds!” He trolls, and you fully push Frankie back to his side, your cheeks burning in embarrassment.
It’s the first time you can remember that it’s ever been uncomfortably awkward between the two of you, and you’re not sure why. The silence seems so much more noticeable and weird against the clanking of the Ferris wheel gears and the chattering of random other people.
You’re not even looking at each other, you realize. When did that happen? Your neck cranes to the left as you gaze at the stars, and when you turn back towards Frankie, he is looking to the right and down at the fair. 
“…Is everything okay?”
His eyes snap back to yours. “Yea? Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Cause I pushed you away, and…I dunno, you’re being weird..”
“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s not intentional. I’m not upset, c’mere.” He opens his arms wide to you, scooting on his bench so there’s enough room for you.
You hesitate. “Won’t it…won’t it throw off the balance?”
You feel ridiculous asking but he doesn’t laugh at you, just shakes his head slightly. “Nah, they wouldn’t be able to run this ride if people couldn’t sit on the same side.”
You balance awkwardly on the edge of your bench overanalyzing what exact moment during the track of the ride to launch onto his, but you overthink it and end up jostling the cab more than necessary. Frankie’s arms pull you into his side and you burrow your face in his neck as the cab continues to rock. The music fades from Depeche Mode to Lizzo to Lil’ Nas X (Will clearly enjoys that one) and then back to Lizzo, and you forget all about your uneasiness.
He was right. It did feel better being with him. 
The ride does one more pass then rolls to a halt, letting off you with Frankie and Benny with Santiago. You hover at the exit for Will and Gabi, who have to wait for their cab to reach the platform before dismounting. Frankie takes your hand as you wait.
Gabby’s adrenaline rush runs out fast, and you spend the remainder of the fair eating more fried Oreos and playing games. Somehow you manage to beat them all at the water shooting game, which amps up the competitiveness to the point you’d rather just watch.
Which is how you end up at the “star” game. 
“We’re so fucking good at this game, it pisses them off every time.” Laughs Benny, as he shoots the entire Star out perfectly with the gun that is specifically not given enough ammo to achieve this. You hop up on the far side of the counter to watch, noting the way each of you boys handles their weapon and the differences in each. Benny held his gun loosely, like he was relaxed and self assured. It almost seemed like you would be able to slap it out of his hands but you knew he still had an iron grip. Will was precise and, as you expected, “perfect form”. You could tell just from Pope’s posture change that he was the best shot on the team, you’d never seen him look so focused. Frankie held his with a tense white knuckle grip, the folding stock tucked against his shoulder joint. The tension carrying up his arms as his veins popped out in his forearms and biceps. He looked fucking good. And you wouldn’t consider yourself a “gun person.” In fact, you kind of hated them. But there just was something about a strong non-douchey man holding a rifle like that that activated you. Damn the patriarchy. Even Dali is a great shot, though not as good as the guys.
After a few rounds, the carnie finally stopped allowing your posse to keep playing, frustrated that somehow the rigging system didn’t work on your group. You lean back on your hands, your legs swinging against the wood counter, observing Benny arguing with the carnie with a smirk. Gabi is passed out in her stroller next to you as Frankie sidles up to you, feeding you a piece of Fried Reeses, then promptly kissing you so the taste floats between you. 
He hums deeply, stepping closer to you til he’s between your legs. His hands rest low on the top of your thighs. “This ok?”
You smile. “Yes. More than okay. And I want more.” 
Frankie beams and cups your face, his lips crashing into yours as he all but breathes you in. You tilt your head and poke his mouth with your tongue. He responds immediately and opens for you, meeting you halfway. You whine softly as his hands leave your cheeks and trail down your back, one hand sneaking a bit lower to discreetly cup your ass. You’ve just wound your legs around his hips and your arms around his neck when you hear a shrill voice cut through the din of the dwindling crowd.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Your heart slams to a halt so fast it hurts. You recognize that voice. And so does Frankie. Your heads both snap to the left as a disheveled looking Lex stands there with a bunch of her friends.
Frankie simply stares. She repeats herself. “Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. The BABYSITTER? Are you fucking your BABYSITTER??? Oh Frankie…come on…how pathetic can you be? She’s like a child!”
You look at Frankie, receding into himself like a silent, terrified puppy. You’ve never seen him like this before, it unnerves you.
“Excuse me.” You snap back. “I am 28.”
She scoffs. I fucking knew something was going on with you two. And you’re doing this in front of my child?”
“Well, actually, Gabi is sleeping. At least she was, until you came ranting and raving.” You make eye contact with Pope, who reads your perfectly and starts steering Gabi’s stroller away so she can’t hear. “We made sure to be careful for her but why do you even care if we are fucking? You left him! You didn’t want him anymore, so it shouldn’t fucking matter who he dates.” 
“He’s a drug addict and a pathological liar. He will NEVER change.”
“Yea? And you are a drunk, controlling, OCD bitch who can’t mind her own fucking business. He’s happy with me. I trust him. Unlike you. Bye.” You couldn’t help yourself, you just fucking hated her.
But that set her off. “Did he tell you why he was suspended?”
“Yes, he—“
“Did he tell you he was high, flying a family and he almost injured everyone from a sloppy landing? Did he tell you how he would take Gabi to his drug dealers house with him? How he went on a STUPID fucking mission with these idiots to burglarize a fucking drug lord completely off paper? That I deliberately asked him not to because we had a new baby? That he crashed their helicopter, dropped all their money and shot innocent villagers to keep them from getting it? At children and old men adn women? That because of that, Molly’s husband was shot in the fucking head by one of those people? And then they couldn’t even bring the money back so it was all for no reason?”
She’s shouting now, spittle flying from her inebriated lips. One of her friends tries to grab her arm but she shakes them off. People in the crowd are starting to stop and watch. “Then, THEN, he treated me like shit, saying horrible things to me just when he was mad, throwing things, scaring me!”
You feel like you can’t breathe, it’s too much information all at once. “...What? I don’t…No. no, he said he was on a delta mission–”
“Oh sweetheart,” She sneers condescendingly. “He was on a greed mission. He was retired from delta. This was like a year ago. They all wanted to get rich and robbed a fucking drug kingpin and Frankie shot innocent people to make sure he got alllllll that money. And because of that, his friend was shot and killed and his family has NO idea why. He lied to you.”
You turn to look at him, and all his friends. Everyone is silent, trying not to look up from the ground. Dali looks as bewildered as you. “Frankie…?” Tears water in your eyes and you feel like your heart is going to burst. You thought he told you it was an enlisted mission, but on top of everything else you just learned your thoughts are rushing so fast you can’t seem to remember specifics. 
Frankie can’t even look at you. And that’s how you know. 
It’s true…
“Lex. Stop.” Will’s Southern drawl cuts through the silence, the commanding officer in him coming out. “It’s over. This shit between you two has to stop. Enough.” His eyes shift to Lex’s friends, who are nodding and repeating the same thing. Lex finally allows them to pull her away muttering under her breath, sending one last glare in your direction.
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The walk to the truck is silent. The ride home is a foggy blur. But the minute you step into the house, you crack. 
“Frankie please tell me all this is not true.” You can’t read him at all, his face is completely blank as he moves around you towards Gabi’s bedroom to tuck her in.
So you wait.
His hackles are already up when he comes back out.
“Frankie–”
“Yea.”
“Well?”
“Yea. It’s true. We tried to steal money from one of Pope’s cases and it backfired and Tom got shot.”
“Because of you.”
His expression changes then, from blank nothing to vicious defensive anger. “Yea. Because of me. I fucked up the flight back and we crash landed and these fuckin’ villagers were gonna take the money! And it was an accident!”
“You ‘accidentally’ shot innocent people?”
He swallows, his jaw clenching and unclenching. You can see he’s doing mental gymnastics in order to avoid accountability. 
“Did your finger slip?”
No answer. 
“Frankie. Did your finger slip on the trigger?”
You already know the answer before he says it. And somehow it’s like he morphs into a Disney villain as he says it. “No. My finger didn’t slip.”
It burns, the sharp pain in your heart that makes you feel like it’s having a seizure or forgot how to pump blood or is pumping too much blood. “How many people did you kill.”
He shrugs. “I dunno.”
“You don’t know? How can you not know?! Frankie, you told me this was your job! You- you fucking lied to me! I-I I asked you if you were hiding anything else from me and you fucking lied to me!” You can’t help your voice raising, the tears spilling out of your eyes as you realize how fucking stupid you had been. Somewhere in the background you can hear Gabi has woken and is hysterically crying. Frankie, clearly having enough, turns back towards her room. But you continue, screaming at his back. “And that’s why Tom is dead? And his family doesn’t know why?!”
Frankie doesn’t answer and suddenly you are enraged. You run behind him and shove him forward. “I’m fucking talking to you! How can you just be so fucking blase about this??? And…all that other shit???—I feel like I don’t know you at all!”
He whirls around, that furious murderous face you ‘ve seen him give others is finally directed at you. “Because you don’t!” He screams back, his teeth nash and he shoves a finger one inch from  your face. You flinch.
“Frankie, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m scaring you? Really? I thought this was your thing?” 
You blink, confused, tears stalling on your face. “Don’t–”  You plead softly.
“No, Lex is right. You’re a naive little girl who thinks she can save worthless idiots like me and live some fucking fantasy happily ever after. You won’t. You can’t. I’m unfixable.”
“How can you say that!! Frankie, I love you!
He scoffs. “I know you think you do. And I know you aren’t stupid, you told me you’ve done this before. But guess what sweetie, you aren’t better, you’re still doing it because you’re so fucking desperate for someone to love you. You don’t love me. You just want to feel like some fucking savior.”
“No! No… I didn’t, I don’t…you told me you loved me!”
“I wanted to fuck you.” His eyes are black as far, it’s like you don’t even recognize his face anymore. Lex was right. Lex was right. How…did you make all of it up in your head?
“You…You’re a fucking psycho…I feel like you emotionally manipulated me into caring for you only for you to play games with me! I specifically told you I couldn’t go through this again and you fucking did it anyway!”
“Hey, you kissed me. And you were fun to fuck, I will admit that. Let me do fucking anything. But we both knew this would happen. You set yourself up. I did shoot those villagers. I caused Tom’s death. I just wanted the fucking money. And I wanted to kill a bunch of kids too, when they got in my way. Fuckin’ teenagers and I told Pope to fucking shoot them all.  And you know what else? We went back and got all that fucking money we hid, and we are fucking swimming in it. And I didn’t share a goddamn dime with my ex. You’re right. I am a psycho, so it’s a good thing this is over. Pack your shit and leave me alone.”
“Fuck you Frankie.”
You don’t wait another moment. You don’t need to be asked twice this time. You shove him aside on your way down the hallway, doing everything you can not to let the second round of tears fall. He’d seen enough.
You slam the door of the master bedroom behind you, frantically bouncing around different points in the room to grab all your shit. When did all of this stuff even get here? Anxiety bubbles up your chest until you can’t take it anymore and say fuck it, he can just throw anything else out. I have to get out of here.
You rush back down the hallway like a speed demon, praying to whatever that he won’t be standing in the hallway still. He isn’t. He’s sitting on his couch facing away from you, his head in his hands. You hate yourself for wanting to go comfort him. He’s right…I’m
not better…
You pause on the front doorway, struggling to say what needs to be said. Don’t be weak. Don’t keep letting people do this to you over and over. “Don’t contact me.I never want to see you again.” You say to his back.
He doesn’t move a muscle, or even look at you. “You won’t.”
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You were able to make it halfway across the lawn before the grief fully hit. By the time you got to your car you were gasping like you were no longer able to breathe. And the minute your car door shut you broke, a wailing sob bursting from your lips as you bury your face in your palms. 
Again. It happened again. And it’s just as crushing as every other time, except now it feels like you never healed from the others and now they are all piling on top of the other with this one as the final blow.
Why. WHY? Was there something wrong with you? Why were you never enough? Why couldn’t you make them stay? What did you do to keep having to go through this? It almost killed you last time, your eyes squeeze shut as you remember the look on your parents face as they watched you writhe on your bed screaming and crying hysterically from your latest breakup.
And why did you let yourself fall into it again, like you had never learned a goddamn thing. It was like you were masochistic, you told yourself you would never need someone again so badly, you wouldn’t enmesh yourself so fully that when it fell apart you could barely function. Your heart was once again ripped out of your chest and thrown to the floor, the cracks from before making this shattering into pieces so small you know it can’t get repaired again.
With a trembling whimper, you pull your face out of your hands and wipe your eyes, your nose. You realize you’re still sitting in Frankie’s driveway and you immediately look to see if he's at the window, concerned for you. He isn’t. You hate yourself for it but it breaks you even more. 
It’s over.
You drive home mindlessly, your Spotify on shuffle and you aren’t aware of anything else. Just get home. Just get home and then you can cry, try to move on. But you already know you won’t. 
You finally tire yourself out of tears, and you try to talk yourself up, turning up the music and chanting “it’s okay” to yourself. 
It’s Coldplay. You always liked Coldplay. 
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try, you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you…
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face, and I–
You slam the on/off button so hard you actually cause the auxiliary cord to malfunction, so you rip it out of your phone and throw the damn thing on the passenger seat. You drive home in silence.
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It’s dark in the lot when you arrive. You park in a spot along the side and towards the back because the lot is mostly full. The only light shining is the pole yards away, the bulb switches off and on opposite of the dark one right above you. 
You feel numb. You can still feel sticky dried tears on your face, but your ability to utter a sound is gone. You close your eyes and try to compose yourself, simply sitting in your car in the dark. You’re avoiding going upstairs, you know. You’ve pretty much been living at Frankie’s. Walking through that door would make it feel too ‘official’. You cover your face with your hands and rub the tears tracks off your raw face, and are about to take a breath and gather your shit when a THWACKING sound bursts right in your left ear.
You startle with a yelp and look out your window, prepared to tell off whoever is messing with you, but freeze when you find yourself face to face with the barrel of a gun, the only thing separating you from it is the shitty window glass on your cheap car.
»»———————►
Post A/N: Don't yell at me lol
324 notes · View notes
busyheaded · 4 months ago
Text
we still have time [11/13]
summary: John dies on a quiet Tuesday, unmarried and childless. Michaela can't fathom allowing everything she knows and loves to pass to a distant heir, so in one last effort to keep hold of her life, as well as the estate, Michaela decides to take a detour through John's wardrobe before heading into Mayfair as the Earl himself, hoping that one eligible, but not so marriage-minded lady takes an interest in her unusual offer.
or, Francesca falls in love with Michaela, she just doesn't realize it yet.
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excerpt:
There is one moment that will not stop returning to her. It chases her down in her sleep, in her daydreams, it pokes and prods at her mind even as she is doing something simple like getting ready for the day or trying to distract herself with a book. Michaela thinks that maybe it was even there, subconsciously, pulling her feet to a marked stop like a spooked horse on a bit, begging her not to chase after Francesca when she had walked away from their engagement in the stable. Sometimes the moment comes all at once, chronologically like she is living it again. Sometimes it comes in flashes, bits and pieces pushed at her like pelting rain.
There is the slide of silk on Michaela’s shoulders, the bustle of a dress unfamiliar after so many days in trousers and waistcoats. The smell of food being brought up from the kitchens, hot and ready for a long night of entertaining guests. The shine of a polished floor that felt out of place for a library. A set of melting blue eyes dripping like a forest in thaw, gaze frozen on Michaela like a winter’s first frost.
There is the guilt that settled in Michaela’s stomach. The fear that danced along the sweat of her palms. The wordless explanations she could not muster up. The press of her knees against the tile floor, the sink of her dress into her heels when she sat back.
Kiss me.
Francesca’s voice, clear as wind and just as harsh. Michaela cannot escape the ghost of Francesca’s anger that night, and even in her memory it overshadows everything else in the room, swarming the air until Michaela can only breathe in regret. It was there that night that Francesca demanded Michaela kiss her, and it is here now that she is sitting at the pianoforte with her gaze dripping down Michaela’s back.
I may be yours, but you are most certainly not mine.
The words fell out of Francesca’s mouth easily. Michaela was just too stupid to catch them. Instead, she swiped it aside with her lips and kissed Francesca until both of them forgot what had been said.
Before Francesca knew the truth about John, Michaela had taken great care to grip her hand tightly and win her attention with words and gestures and soft touches. She had done that to be sure Francesca would not suspect her secret. And it had worked. The anger and fear and confusion that permeated that first kiss was proof that it worked. It is only fitting, Michaela concedes, that she herself would be her next victim. That she would distract her own doubts with wishes and wants and daydreams from a younger version of herself that did not know better. That she would have the words you are not mine spoken directly to her face, and still look past it because the taste of Francesca’s mouth was sweet enough to remind her what it felt like to hope.
READ NOW ON AO3
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sh1-n0bu · 10 months ago
Note
Love letter event thing 🥀
Dear kazuha (genshin impact FWB)
Hello! It's Amia! I miss you so much and I wish you were here with me, actually I wish I could stay with you but I'm too scared to be traveling all the time...
Actually it's probably because my entire body hurts most of the time, but when I'm with you I feel like it's gone...
It's time for me to go now! Next time I see you in going to hug you okay?
Sincerely, Amia
𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜! 𝙣𝙤𝙗𝙪’𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙡 𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙚!
to: keadehara kazuha from genshin impact
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as a wandering samurai who has few close connections all over teyvat, it was no surprise that kazuha would receive a letter. not that he gets letters that much or often, he doesn’t. but the truth that he still has people over teyvat that care for him and that he cares for in return is undeniable.
sometimes, he would receive a letter here and there from the ones at the kamisato clan. more specifically, the siblings who are currently the head of the clan alongside the housekeeper. those three were the ones who helped him out greatly during the vision hunt degree, to which he is still incredibly thankful for till this day.
there’s also the traveler and paimon, both great friends of the anemo vision holder that he frequently exchanges gifts, wonders and letters with. they would write to him of their latest adventure and he would write back his own. there are also ones at mondstadt, fischl and mona, who he befriended when they got stranded on the weird island. there’s also xinyan as well, someone who’s from liyue harbor.
but there’s also another one. someone who has the closest yet also the most complicated relationship with. it was precisely during one of his moments of simply wondering what this person was doing, writing haikus about her, did a letter from her arrive. talk about perfect timing. so, with a knowing smile and a sense of growing longing in his heart, the samurai picked up a paper and a brush, dipping it in ink as he writes back his own reply.
“dear amia,
hello again old friend. it’s safe to say that i miss you as well. each time i come across something that reminds me of you in my travels, i just end up writing yet again another haiku about you. my travels have been filled with adventures, new friends along the way and the occasional getting drunk with captain beidou ( ´ ▽ ` ).
i have come across many new wonderful things in my travels, amia. most of them being new types of foods and snacks. i have found all sorts of innovative ways to make delicious, sugary goods from the most basic of ingredients. i’ll be sure to make them for you when we meet again.
and as for your health, please be sure to take good care of yourself. you tend to get sick easily and i wish to stay beside you a little bit more to look after you. alas, you have told me your wishes of not being the one to stop me from traveling and i’m forever grateful that you understand my desire to travel from one place to the other. one of these days, i will definitely settle down. and perhaps then, we can make things official.
with love, kazuha
side note; i would really love to accept those hugs(●’◡’●)ノ”
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alexius-fr · 8 months ago
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Martyrs Waste Chapter 1: Dust and Ash
Sanguine, Silas and Khadiyah travel to the Waste to find Nerissa
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The air was thick here, much more so than they had been used to before. Dense fog hid the land below them in a mystery of red and orange hues with the occasional sickly green bioluminescence shining through dimly. But the smell was familiar to Sanguine, who had always belonged here, no matter how far he had tried to run from that truth.
“How much farther?”
“We’ll get there when we get there!”
Silas wailed a pitiful cry of woe is me. “But my wings hurt!”
“Oh shush, you’ll be right at home there.” Khadiyah laughed as she ridiculed her mate. Sanguine, who flew ahead of them, couldn’t help but laugh.
“True, it is called the Martyrs Waste after all.” he chimed in, always down for a little jab at his dear brother. Silas groaned and rolled his eyes. “You two have no empathy! I’m getting old, you know!”
“Sanguine is older than you and he has not complained.” Khadiyah reminded Silas.
“Because we haven’t gone very far!” Sanguine agreed, picking up the pace to show his point. He might have been older, but he hadn’t lost his form yet. In fact, he probably looked healthier than he ever had. Years of Rowan’s care and love had left him in peak physical and mental shape. His hide was shiny, blood red and healthy despite it’s many scars. His wings beat as strongly as ever, his spikes were sharp and his eyesight- well, that was perhaps a little questionable, but it was good enough.
Sanguine saddened a bit at the thought of Rowan. His old mate had returned to the Wasteland’s embrace recently, ‘to slumber with the Plague Mother until they would be reunited and reborn together’, or so Rowan had phrased it. But Sanguine still had a part to play, lessons to teach and learn, and so here he was, honouring Rowan’s last request.
Go see Nerissa.
Apologize to her for pushing her away. She strove for his acceptance and he had cast her out. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of doing this himself, but always there was something that would stop him from going, an excuse, a child that needed him more, an injury that prevented him from going, he had to hunt for food for them all, etcetera etcetera. And recently, taking care of Rowan had taken all his focus. Now though, there was nothing to justify not going any more. Rowan was gone, all his children had flown the nest. It was time he made amends with Nerissa, to avoid becoming his mother. To avoid her making the same mistakes he did.
Silas and Khadiyah had offered to accompany him, curious to see their niece once again. They had heard of her clan in the Martyrs Waste, an area that had been the site of many a battle in the past, not in the least between the Mother and her mortal enemy, the Gladekeeper. It was a place of great infamy, where Plague’s toughest dragons battled each other for the right to survive. Those who died in battle there were named martyr to the Plague Mother, though Sanguine was sceptical of this practice himself.
“There, the rock that looks like a mushroom!” Silas called with relief. “Finally!”
Sanguine said nothing, feeling nervous as they descended through the thick fog, Sand particles swept up into his face and battered his hide before they reached the floor, dust and sand kicking up as the three of them landed not far from their landmark. Though the air was thick, it felt welcoming as Sanguine breathed in deep, the scent of home.
Silas was also taking deep breaths, though it was more like he was gasping for air.
“Mother save me, I can’t breathe with this thick fog and sand in my nostrils!” he complained.
“Don’t be dramatic.” Khadiyah frowned and swept her tail up to whirl an extra load of sand Silas’ way. Silas coughed when he got some in his mouth, covering his face with his wing while Khadiyah laughed wickedly.
Sanguine took no notice of their antics behind him, taking in the environment. A huge rock formation towered before them, shaped somewhat like a mushroom. Specks of green luminescence shimmer through the dust, some kind of fungus? The sun behind the rock cast a large shadow through the sand and the fog, but it’s heat was still present, warming Sanguine’s deep red hide. He strode forwards carefully, looking around with purpose for a sign of any dragons other than them. So far, nothing. He turned his head to Silas and Khadiyah.
“Quiet you two. We have to consider the possibility we are not welcome here.” he reminded them.
“Right, because you were rude to her.” Silas said, deadpan. Khadiyah grinned in unison with Silas, like the little shit she was. “He’s got a point.”
Sanguine sighed, quietly shaking his head before moving ahead.
A natural arch big enough to accommodate a large Guardian stood before them, but beyond that he could see nothing but a turmoil of swirling sand. Still, he knew he was in the right place. He could smell his daughter’s distinct scent, sense her presence.
“Stay here.”
Sanguine said the words to Silas and Khadiyah sternly, then proceeded into the thick wall of red sand before him. It battered him, blinded him, all of those things he had expected, but he had not expected the fluorescent green light to pierce through the sand as if a great eye had locked it’s gaze upon him.
The green light was just enough to project a silhouette through the dust on top of the rock. It was far away, but Sanguine recognized the silhouette as an Aberration dragon. When she spoke, it sounded like two voices at once spoke in unison, echoing between the rocky walls.
“I knew you would come.”
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hekate1308 · 28 days ago
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Fictober #8. Are We Happy
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Prompt: Are We Happy?
Fandom: White Collar
Neal had seen many things others would have considered impossible over the course of his life, but the door being thrown open and an older version of himself strolling in loudly proclaiming he needed “information” was something else altogether.
Although, alright, maybe it wasn’t that specifically.
No, it was that he had then disclosed – and it was the only thing he had volunteered so far – that he and Peter needed said information on a case because he was, in his words, “Of course working for the FBI nowadays.”
Neal Caffrey. A proper FBI agent.
He followed him into Peter’s office because what else was there to do, hissing “What are you doing?” because he figured he had a right to. After all, this could potentially mess with the timeline of their lives, and –
“My job. What else?”
That was the problem. The job. The very thing Neal had been running away from for so long now. And yet here he was, older no anklet, nothing to fetter him here, and yet –
“Are we happy?” he finally asked because there was nothing else to do. It was one thing to know that this was what his life would turn out to be – continuous enslavement to the FBI, whether they eventually gave him a badge or not, and that –
And his older self, to his utter surprise, laughed. “What do you mean? Of course. I would hardly have stuck around if I wasn’t, would I? Mind, peter would probably have found me – us – but it wasn’t as if he could have forced me back after my – our time was up –“
It was then that he understood. “Wait, you chose to stay?”
He looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “I forgot just how stupid we were, back in the day.”
Neal decided to leave him – he refused to call that guy his future self – to it and get a coffee.
Of course he came across peter – or no, that wasn’t fair; he was just getting a coffee at the same time.
“And, how are things with old you?”
“He’s not that old” he said indignantly and Peter snorted.
“Right sorry. How dare I insinuate even the great Neal Caffrey could get a few gray hairs along the way.”
“He’s working his way through the files.”
“Wait, alone?”
“Peter, what could eh possible do? He has to return to his time anyway.”
He looked at him, but Neal just shrugged and added, “You know I’m right.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Peter looked down into his cup. “Have toa admit, I am just surprised. Didn’t imagine you’d stick around after your sentence was over.”
“Me neither.” In truth, he still didn’t plan on it... but didn’t the presence of his older self suggest that he did? Then again, time was always fluctuation, wasn’t it, or something like that, he had never really paid attention to those theories, maybe he could ask Mozzie…
“It’s a plus for the Bureau, really” peter then said and he just had to do something because it still felt so improbable.
“maybe it’s a long con.”
“A long con?”
“Yeah. Maybe I – he – well – maybe there’s a plan involved, and in reality –“
And Peter, rather to his dissatisfaction, laughed. “And what long con would be so long that you’d still be working for White Collar in twenty years?”
He wanted to argue, he really did, but then his older self left Peter’s office and did the two-finger-point at him and he thought it best to comply before he could see his friend’s face.
“Here, the Henderson file” he said as soon as Neal had closed the door behind him. “What I was looking for. I really wish there could have been an easier way, but try to find good old paperwork these days –“And he suddenly and starkly realized that he reminded him a lot of peter.
He had no idea what to do with that information. “And? Have you got what you need?”
He glanced at him, a shrewd and rather amused expression in his eyes that Neal decided did not fit the situation at all. “Yes, don’t worry. I’ll be out of our hair soon enough… can’t be too long anyway. Longer than ten seconds in my time, and my Peter calls in the cavalry, but you know him.”
Yes, he did know him, which was why he was very aware he must be having a field day right now.
“Oh don’t make that face. It’ll get stuck. And trust me, at the end of the day, a place you belong is better than to keep on running.”
That he felt utterly certain was something he would never agree with even as his future self bid a heartfelt goodbye to Peter and vanished.
That conviction naturally didn’t protect him from Peter’s mirth when, two years later after the end of his sentence, he took the oath of service without a second thought.
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cookie-run-kingdom-story · 2 years ago
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EPISODE 16: THE CITY OF WIZARDS
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Moonlight Cookie: The night is when magic awakens… Moonlight Cookie: When the sun is gone and darkness shrouds the world, the Moonlight begins its story. Moonlight Cookie: When the sea and sky are united by the color of night, the Dream sprawls its wings to travel freely across its wondrous, limitless realm. And the Wizards, the sages of the night… One of the reasons I adore the City so. Moonlight Cookie: There were times, when all stars here bore a name of their own. Grand bookshelves in the libraries. Observatories spired in the night sky, paralleled in height only by the Wizards’ knowledge and wisdom. Moonlight Cookie: Cookies, created by the Wizards, gained a shining purpose to serve their creators as aides in the search of Truth. Moonlight Cookie: Yet… All is now nothing more than echoes of the past. Moonlight Cookie: When I close my eyes… my memories take me to a time when I wasn’t alone. And those long gone are back as though they have never left… Moonlight Cookie: Is this but a dream? Or am I awake now…? Moonlight Cookie: Will they return if I wait long enough? Moonlight Cookie: My name is Moonlight Cookie… The Custodian of the City of Wizards.
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Moonlight Cookie: Who goes there… who- Unknown Figure: …… Moonlight Cookie: Are you, too, an apparition of my dreams? Or perhaps…
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GingerBrave: …! This place is…! Wizard Cookie: Precisely! Not a single Cookie in sight! The whole place is running on magical contraptions! Wizard Cookie: The great Magical Civilization and all the Wizards… POOF! Gone! They call it “one of the Seven Mysteries of Earthbread!” Wizard Cookie: We’ve finally arrived at the legendary City of Wizards!
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GingerBrave: Huh… Who would’ve known we’d have to get kicked out of a train for that! Strawberry Cookie: I liked the train… It brought us all the way here…! GingerBrave: Right…! Remind me to thank Milky Way Cookie if we ever see her again! Strawberry Cookie: Huh… The moon looks so big here… Is that because the whole city is so empty? Wizard Cookie: According to the Annals of Magic, this place was chosen by the Wizards because this is where the Moon is the biggest, meaning that its arcane powers are the strongest here! Wizard Cookie: It took several dozens of mathematicians to calculate this sweet spot, but thanks to their efforts, we can read at night without the need for any candles or lights! GingerBrave: Whoah! Does it mean that even the starry sky is a part of this place…? GingerBrave: The City of Wizards is even cooler than I thought!
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GingerBrave: GAH! Look out! Strawberry Cookie: GingerBrave! Behind you! GingerBrave: HAAAAH! Lost Star D612: *Whirr…* GingerBrave: These guys have been following us for a while now. And I don’t think they wanna become friends…! Wizard Cookie: They are the Wizards’ inventions! Crafted to resemble the stars. Wizard Cookie: To them, we are trespassers! Better be on our guard! GingerBrave: They’re after us!
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GingerBrave: We come in peace! It’s impolite to attack your guests! Strawberry Cookie: Hm… We don’t have anything to prove that… If only we could meet Moonlight Cookie first… GingerBrave: Right! We must hurry up and find Moonlight Cookie!
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Wizard Cookie: My my, would you look at this sight! GingerBrave: Do you see anything?! Wizard Cookie: Come up here! You can see the whole city from this hill! Cookies: WHOAH…! GingerBrave: I can’t believe there’s no one left in this place. If it were up to me, I’d call it “the City of Nightsky.” Strawberry Cookie: Hm… And if it were up to me… “The City of the Crescent…!” Strawberry Cookie: Look! Aaaall the way over there! The statues we passed on our way here…! Strawberry Cookie: Is that where we took the train…? GingerBrave: Seems so! But how did we manage to cross the dream to get here? GingerBrave: Wait a minute… We were walking in circles around the statues… Then we… um… ended up at the train station? Wizard Cookie: The more you think about it, the weirder it gets! Perhaps, that’s the nature of the dream. Wizard Cookie: The power of the Slumbering Moon makes it all possible. After all, Moonlight Cookie is the master of Dream Magic!
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GingerBrave: Over there! Moonlight Cookie…! Strawberry Cookie: She’s asleep…! I… almost hate to wake her up… Strawberry Cookie: The moon is so bright and pretty… Why does she look so sad…? GingerBrave: She must feel so lonely watching over this city all by herself! Think how long she must’ve been waiting for us? Wizard Cookie: Not THAT long, if you think of it? Wizard Cookie: After all, she must have lived for much, MUCH longer than us! Strawberry Cookie: B-but… Wizard Cookie: And it is said, that while Moonlight Cookie is asleep, no force can harm the realm of dreams… Wizard Cookie: Her power is WAY too great for an ordinary Cookie. And that’s why we need her help! GingerBrave: But Moonlight Cookie herself asked for our help! There’s gotta be something we can do for her. GingerBrave: Though… how do we wake her up? Wizard Cookie: Hmm… Wizard Cookie: There gotta be hints somewhere in this great city! Looks like we have our mission.
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Wizard Cookie: By my hat! Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine visiting the Arcane Planetarium! GingerBrave: Plan… eh? Tarium? Wizard Cookie: An artificially-crafted model of the night sky! The Wizards did love their stars, huh! Strawberry Cookie: Crafted… night sky? What does this even mean…? Wizard Cookie: You’ll understand once you see it with your own eyes! GingerBrave: Oh, wait up! These stairs are too tall!
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Strawberry Cookie: Whoooooah… GingerBrave: Whoooooah… Wizard Cookie: Pretty cool, huh? GingerBrave: WHOOOOAH! GingerBrave: A sky… within the city…! And there’re giant balls floating in that sky…! GingerBrave: They look like they’ll crash into each other… But they don’t! What in the world…! Wizard Cookie: Ahem, those “giant balls” represent stars in the sky. While they might look like tiny dots to us, they actually look like that! Or so they say… Wizard Cookie: These stars are created to look exactly like the real ones! And it's all powered with intricate magic spells! Wizard Cookie: And just like trains, each star in the sky travels along its very own invisible road! That’s why they never crash into each other. Strawberry Cookie: How… How do you know all that, Wizard Cookie…? Wizard Cookie: Well… I’ve read about it in my books! But… enough talk! I AM SUPER PSYCHED TO SEE IT WITH MY OWN EYES! Wizard Cookie: I could try and make one sphere float in the air… But the Wizards created this whole place… And to think that these spheres have been floating here all this time, without a single error…! Wizard Cookie: It is said that wizards and stars always go hand in hand. Here you understand why: the Wizards of old were crazy about they sky! Wizard Cookie: Do you know which star is my favorite? The star called “Choco Major” over there that always shines so bright! Gorgeous, isn’t it?! Strawberry Cookie: Wow… It really IS big and bright…! GingerBrave: And what are these pictures here? Wizard Cookie: These are called “constellations.” Have you ever noticed how some groups of stars look just like animals or objects? Strawberry Cookie: Oh… This one is Jelly… That one is Cake Hound…! Strawberry Cookie: And over there is… “Sugar Swan’s Sun…” Huh! So pretty! Strawberry Cookie: I love this place… GingerBrave: Look! Another cinema! Let’s climb on that chair and watch the movie!
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Narrator 1: …for eons, the Wizards and Witches relied upon the powers of the moon, an everlasting source of arcane energy. But what is it that makes the moon so special! Narrator 1: Some theorists claim the moon is constituted of cheese. Others speculate that the connection with the enigmatic rabbit was finally established. Narrator 1: Here, in the City of Wizards, we step beyond tenets and theories to reveal the true potential of lunar magic: we bake Cookies! Narrator 2: “Nothing is impossible in the realm of dreams. It is a well-known fact. Ergo, at the intersection of the night, the moon, and the dream, magic unbound by all limits is born.” Narrator 2: “The Twelve Archmages’s work has finally borne fruit: now, the Pristine Life Syrup and the Dough of the Dreams shall rest and dream until dawn, absorbing the mysterious lights of the night sky…” Narrator 1: The whole world stands still in anticipation of the first Cookie blessed with ingredients of celestial bodies. Will the World of Dreams at long last reveal its secrets…? Narrator 1: The only being capable of providing an answer is the moon reborn in the form of a Cookie! Narrator 2: “...You shall journey through the world we dare not explore. Now, the time to open your eyes has come…” Breathing: “...”
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Wizard Cookie: Exploring the World of Dreams…? Does this mean a Cookie like me can travel inside GingerBrave’s head? GingerBrave: Huh? Whoah! We could meet and play there! GingerBrave: …But are dreams meant to be shared? What if the Wizard Cookie from my dreams isn’t the real Wizard Cookie…? Ohhhh… I think I’m getting a headache… Strawberry Cookie: I wonder what happened to what happened to that Cookie…
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GingerBrave: Hey, what is that column of light?! Another magical spell? Strawberry Cookie: Huh… Maybe it’s a big gemstone? Or… Or a glowing fountain…? Strawberry Cookie: I… I want to get closer…! Wizard Cookie: It’s just as bright as the light of the moon! GingerBrave: I feel like I need to move closer…! Let’s go!
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GingerBrave: It’s a sugar glass house! I’ve never seen anything like that! Strawberry Cookie: Maybe it’s the moon’s creation…! See? The gentle moonlight is lighting up the whole place… Wizard Cookie: I… vaguely remember reading about it… It’s… It’s… It’s the Remembrance Glass! Wizard Cookie: The Wizards knew how to imbue stained sugar glass with memories. Perhaps, this is the place where it happened! Strawberry Cookie: I thought it was a place bigger than this one… GingerBrave: Hold on…! These paintings! Is this the City of Wizards? Then this one must be Moonlight Cookie herself! GingerBrave: Whoah! Look at those colorful glass flowers! Let’s go take a closer look! Oh…!
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???: Wielding the might of moonlight energy, we can finally leave the days when we used to brew love potions in the past! With it, we can light up the whole city! ???: And more! The Lunar Dynamo will allow us to cook food, move carts, and power clocktowers without even touching them! ???: Solar power is too unpredictable, too unstable! It burns and corrupts the Cookie dough. The power of the Dream Moon, however…! GingerBrave: Whooooah! I’ve just experienced a rush of someone’s memories! Wizard Cookie: The Wizards’ thoughts and memories! Let’s see what recollections these flowers hold!
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???: What harrowing misfortune it is to realize ours is the only star inhabited by thinking creatures such as ourselves… Among all the stars in the vast cosmos! ???: The sun, burning hotter than volcanic lava! The moon, colder than the coldest ice…! The power of the stars is greater than that of an Archwizard! For the stars are the fount of the arcane!
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???: Welcome to this world, Moonlight Cookie! You are the blessing granted by the stars to us, the seekers of Truth! GingerBrave: This Moonlight Cookie’s memory! The COokie that the Wizards created was Moonlight Cookie herself! Wizard Cookie: Shhhh! Be quiet! ???: Your power will become the bridge to connect us to the realm of the unknown! Will you help us in our research of lunar power? ???: These are the materials brought by Moonlight Cookie from the World of Dreams. Now we will finally be able to correct the mistakes in our magical formulas! ???: The Cookie managed to identify the laws of celestial mechanics with utmost precision! It will allow us to build a great planetarium in the sky above our city! ???: Let us build a great clock tower to control the very movements of the stars and the flow of time! ???: Just like the great World Tree from the myths, our clock tower will become the pillar to bind our city together even after the last of the Wizards is gone. GingerBrave: Did you hear that?! Wizard Cookie: A clock tower to control the flow of time, huh… ???: Like two sides of a coin, Moonlight Cookie and the Clock Tower will draw upon each other’s power. The full moon will rise, the bell will ring, and the dream will come alive!
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Wizard Cookie: Another piece of this puzzle falls into place,* Perhaps, the Clock Tower can awaken Moonlight Cookie!
*actual text
GingerBrave: We still need to gather more clues. Let’s check over there!
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Wizard Cookie: Huh! That watering can! And the shovel… Wizard Cookie: They were crafted for a Cookie to handle. Looks like a Cookie used to take care of this conservatorium!
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GingerBrave: Hey, look! This pot has just one flower growing in it! Strawberry Cookie: It’s small but so pretty and ornate…! Gotta be someone’s special memory. Strawberry Cookie: Can I… take a look…?
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???: Hey! HEY! We gotta hurry! ???: Wait… I have but one last thing left to do… Sugar Glass Cookie: G-greetings…! …My name is Sugar Glass Cookie… Sugar Glass Cookie: If you touched this memory, it means… It means that you have found my flower…! Sugar Glass Cookie: I must leave this place… Yet… When the other Cookie arrives… Sugar Glass Cookie: I’d like you to know that I have waited for so long… That you are not alone…
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Strawberry Cookie: How did they manage to take care of this beautiful place all by themselves…? GingerBrave: Let’s take this flower with us! Something tells me that Moonlight Cookie will like it.
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GingerBrave: What a place! Strawberry Cookie: A greenhouse made of memories… If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d have never believed it! Wizard Cookie: I-I’ve been thinking… If we live on a giant star, and there are other stars like this one, lots and lots of other stars…! It’s kind of terrifying, don’t you think? Wizard Cookie: What if we, Cookies, are no more than part of someone’s imagination? Yikes! GingerBrave: What are you saying? Strawberry Cookie: It’s not easy being that smart…
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GingerBrave: We learned so much back at the planetarium and greenhouse… But we still have no clue how to wake Moonlight Cookie up! Wizard Cookie: We are close, very close! I’m sure of it! Our next stop should be the Archives of Magic. Wizard Cookie: That’s where the Wizards’ kept all their secrets! GingerBrave: Whoah! I wonder what awaits us inside! A book about a whole planet made of Jellies? Or about Cookies from outer space! Strawberry Cookie: A recipe for the potion of sweet dreams…? Wizard Cookie: I love your ideas…! But what I’d really like to find is the spell to travel through time! GingerBrave: Does that have anything to do with stars? Wizard Cookie: It’s just a mere theory of mine, but I think if we run so fast that even the light itself won’t be able to catch up with us… Then we’ll be able to make time flow in the opposite direction!!! GingerBrave: Is that even possible? Ha ha! You’ve been saying lots of odd things today, Wizard Cookie! Wizard Cookie: Who knows, who knows… Anyhoo, let’s make haste!
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GingerBrave: Those golden stars again! HIDE! Roaming Star 12c: WHIRR? WHIRRR… (COOKIE SOUNDS DETECTED.) Rambling Star vi7: *WHIRRRR…* (NO COOKIES WITHIN CLOSE PROXIMITY. POSSIBLE FALSE ALARM.) GingerBrave: Oh, they’re gonna find us! Quick! Come this way! Wizard Cookie: GingerBrave, wait! It’s a dead end! GingerBrave: Huh? GAAAAAAH! Wizard Cookie: HAAAAAAAAH! Strawberry Cookie: G-GingerBrave, Wizard Cookie…! Don’t go without me…!
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Wizard Cookie: Cough cough… Ouch ouch, not the most comfortable landing! GingerBrave: Phew… Sorry about that! It’s all my fault… Strawberry Cookie: I’m glad that we didn’t split up…! Wizard Cookie: We have a bigger problem…! This little… detour took us off our path! Where on Earthbread are we?! Strawberry Cookie: Look! A sign! GingerBrave: “Silence! Do not wake the dwellers of the Graveyard of Stars.” Strawberry Cookie: The Graveyard… of Stars…? Wizard Cookie: This looks like a headstone… “Wandering Star A19. Lost its orbit due to the operator’s chronically shaking hands and put to sleep with its eighteen siblings.” GingerBrave: Here’s another one! The name’s erased… “Outdated formula. Disposed with the release of the amended version of Standard Magic.” GingerBrave: What kind of headstone is that?! Strawberry Cookie: These reasons seem so pretty… GingerBrave: Does “A19” mean it was the nineteenth? They created and got rid of nineteen stars because some wizard’s hands were shaky?! Wizard Cookie: Y-you don’t understand! When it comes to incantations, even the smallest miscalculation can lead to catastrophe…! Strawberry Cookie: Can it really…? Wizard Cookie: Well… I also think… they were a bit too harsh…!
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GingerBrave: Gah! More of those golden stars! That one is huge! Wizard Cookie: Prepare for battle… Doom Star X-1: *Whirrr.* Doom Star X-1: *WHIRRRRR! BZZT! (INTRUDER DETECTED. EXTERMINATE!)* GingerBrave: If they get us, we’re crumbs! Everyone, be careful!
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Doom Star X-1: *WHIR…* (STAR ENERGY AT 20%. TRANSITIONING TO LOW POWER MODE.) Wizard Cookie: Phew…! The biggest one down! GingerBrave: THAT wasn’t easy at all!
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Wizard Cookie: FINALLY! Is this really happening?! The legendary Archives of Magic! Wizard Cookie: Just look at this magnificent edifice! I already feel wiser just by standing here by the gates! Strawberry Cookie: Wow…! It’s big indeed! GingerBrave: …… Strawberry Cookie: …GingerBrave? GingerBrave: HUH! Strawberry Cookie: W-what? WHAT…?! GingerBrave: I… um… I just imagined a very scary thing! GingerBrave: If the Wizards had to go through so many stars just to make that last giant one… What would’ve happened had they decided to make a GingerBrave…?! GingerBrave: …So I imagined a graveyard filled with lots of abandoned GingerBraves!!! Strawberry Cookie: Yikes…! Wizard Cookie: Don’t you have anything better to think about?! You literally have this gorgeous library in front of your eyes! GingerBrave: Yeah… Yeah… You’re right as always, Wizard Cookie… He he. GingerBrave: Anyways! The secrets of the Archives await! Let’s march inside, my friends!
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Wizard Cookie: Ah, there’s no better way to seek out the Truth than a library! This one here might be the greatest library on the entire continent. Wizard Cookie: It would’ve been a shame to miss this place…! I’m ready to check each and every nook and cranny here! Strawberry Cookie: Wow… This library is really big…! They must have books on everything in the world…! Strawberry Cookie: Hmm… Should we split up? GingerBrave: Good idea! I’ll check the picture books here! There’s gotta be at least one I can understand! Ha ha! Wizard Cookie: These are not just “pictures,” it’s mathematics! The science trying to explain the world in numbers and figures! Wizard Cookie: See? It shows how to divide an apple pie into seven equal parts! With this book, seven wizards will be able to enjoy their pie in peace! Wizard Cookie: Such a lucky find, GingerBrave! The Witches’ books don’t have anything like that! GingerBrave: Why? What’s so different about them? Wizard Cookie: The Wizards thought that precision paves the path to the Truth! They tried to communicate ideas as accurately as possible. Wizard Cookie: See that shelf with lots of giant tomes and quills? That’s how hard they worked to achieve the perfect preciseness! Strawberry Cookie: And the Witches expressing themselves through songs and dancing… I think… GingerBrave: There’s books on various magical appliances here. Look! This one explains how to make the best magic wand! GingerBrave: “Use measuring tape… Measure length from elbow to third finger’s second knuckle… Important: the wood must be…” GingerBrave: Do you really need to know all that? Wizard Cookie: Oh, those are just the basics every wizard needs to know! Wizard Cookie: You won’t become a wizard with that attitude of yours, GingerBrave. Maybe you should try… singing? GingerBrave: I’ve never said I wanted to become a wizard! I’m not a wizard, I’m a Cookie! Strawberry Cookie: “Stale Hearts: So You Fell in Love With an Emotionless Cookie,” “Drawing Without Errors: Perfect Magic Circles,” “27 Ways to Grow Taller” …Huh… Wizard Cookie: Say what? What was that last one? GingerBrave: Gah! It… it MOVED! Wizard Cookie: First time seeing moving letters? He he. Ancient Wizards used to make letters move quite often… GingerBrave: No, not the letters! It’s a book worm! A-and it bites!
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Wizard Cookie: I’ve seen those gnawing on old books… But to snack on a valuable magic tome! UNFORGIVABLE! Strawberry Cookie: It must have eaten a lot of magic energy… GingerBrave: Let’s just be more careful with those books! Phew, this magic library is a dangerous place… GingerBrave: Huh? What’s that? That book looks… important!
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Wizard Cookie: “The Lunar Compendium,” huh. Straight to the point. That’s precisely what we needed! ???: Please treat the books with care. GingerBrave: Gah! Wh-who are you?! Blueberry Pie Cookie: Blueberry Pie Cookie, librarian. And you are…?
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: And you are…? These Archives have been abandoned for a long, long time. GingerBrave: We came on a dream train in search of Moonlight Cookie! Blueberry Pie Cookie: Then you are her guests… Hm. Strawberry Cookie: We didn’t realize there were other Cookies in this City…! Wizard Cookie: The entire City of Wizards looked completely empty! GingerBrave: Are you… a prisoner here? The Wizards’ prisoner?! Blueberry Pie Cookie: No. I’m not a prisoner. I merely signed… a pact. Blueberry Pie Cookie: My duty is to sort the books, keep them in order, and keep a watchful eye on everything within these walls. Such work requires a lot of time. Strawberry Cookie: Don’t you ever wish you could do something else…? Take a walk outside, for example…? Blueberry Pie Cookie: I’m not too fond of all the air and sunlight. Besides, the knowledge preserved here knows no bounds. Blueberry Pie Cookie: This one, for example. “The Lunar Compendium.” A tome of great value.
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: It was written a century before the great Clock Tower was built. Blueberry Pie Cookie: All written records of that era remain intact to this day. As you may have guessed, they are all contained in this very book. Blueberry Pie Cookie: Yet… I would advise against opening it. The book is known to… test Cookies who dare read it. Blueberry Pie Cookie: For such is the will of the Clock Tower protecting this city. GingerBrave: But we’ve come all this way here! We are ready for any tests this book might dish out!
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: …It seems that I underestimated you. You possess great wisdom and courage. Blueberry Pie Cookie: “The Lunar Compendium”  has deemed you worthy.
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Wizard Cookie: I… I love this book! Wizard Cookie: So much information inside! Just listen: the Wizards actually managed to build it! Wizard Cookie: The Clock tower to Control the night sky! Wizard Cookie: This tower doesn’t simply show the time, it CONTROLS time in this city! But there’s more! It also controls the position of the sun, the moon and the constellations! GingerBrave: That must be the magical clock we saw in Moonlight Cookie’s memories! Strawberry Cookie: Which means… We have to climb the tower and move the clock’s hands! GingerBrave: That must be it! GingerBrave: That should wake Moonlight Cookie! If only the moon was full tonight… Wizard Cookie: GingerBrave, you’re right! That must be the answer! Wizard Cookie: The book says that the hands cannot be moved by just anyone. But there is a way to do that…
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Wizard Cookie: Looks like we have to solve a riddle! Wizard Cookie: I’m gonna read it! Strawberry Cookie: *Gulp*
Three wizards cut the pie of time: Three pieces fair and just. A piece of sun, a piece of moon, A piece for all the stars. And soon the reel of stars turned thrive, The crescent met its half. Let Choco Major guide your way, The moonlight fete will start!
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GingerBrave: Eh, let me write that down. Sun… Moon… Come again?! GingerBrave: What kind of riddle is that?! I didn’t understand a thing! Strawberry Cookie: Maybe the Wizards want to test us…? “In order to use the Clock Tower, you have to be THIS smart!” GingerBrave: Phew… We can do it, WE CAN!
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GingerBrave: Thank you, Blueberry Pie Cookie! With your help, we’ll find a way to wake Moonlight Cookie! GingerBrave: Oh! Or maybe you wanna go meet Moonlight Cookie with us?! Blueberry Pie Cookie: Lady Moonlight Cookie… Who would have known we were destined to become the last Cookies to guard this place. Blueberry Pie Cookie: I remember the times of old… The Wizards would select the dough imbued with the finest, purest moonlight, and create Cookies to preserve their knowledge forever… Blueberry Pie Cookie: …I am forbidden to leave this place, and I dare not ask for an audience with Lady Moonlight Cookie. Blueberry Pie Cookie: Sometimes, I see a faint ray of moonlight coming through the small window. For me, that ray of light is… Wizard Cookie: Hmmm… Blueberry Pie Cookie: …Farewell. GingerBrave: Goodbye!
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: Hm… Blueberry Pie Cookie: …There is something I failed to mention. A collection of personal notes left by the same author has been kept here, in the library. Blueberry Pie Cookie: This journal describes the dark, unknown parts of the Wizards’ research. Blueberry Pie Cookie: It has been kept in the shadows of the most remote section, away from prying eyes. Will it ever see the light of day, I wonder…? Blueberry Pie Cookie: But for now, may the gentle moonlight embrace this city…
Hall of Moonlight
If fate permits, these Archives may offer you a glimpse into the Wizards’ secrets.
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: Welcome. I’ve been expecting you. Blueberry Pie Cookie: You are looking at the Archives of Magic, the oldest library of this land. Blueberry Pie Cookie: As long as you know what to look for and where, you can find the truth behind almost all the secrets of this world… Blueberry Pie Cookie: Hmm? You seek a book on the City of Wizards and the creation of the Cookies? Blueberry Pie Cookie: The knowledge that you seek… lies within these walls. Blueberry Pie Cookie: Feel free to look around. You may read whichever book that piques your interest. Blueberry Pie Cookie: …Just remember: one’s actions bring consequences. Now then… enjoy your stay in the Archives…
Blueberry Pie Cookie: …My apologies. I forgot to mention one thing. Blueberry Pie Cookie: The book here in the center is the Lunar Compendium. It will explain everything about the City of Wizards and the creation of Moonlight Cookie. Blueberry Pie Cookie: On one condition: those who wish to read it must pass its trials. Blueberry Pie Cookie: So if you are not prepared to face the truth, I suggest keeping it closed.
The book started to emit a soft glow as bright moonlight descended upon its pages, as if beckoning you closer.
You carefully approach the book.
Part of the Lunar Compendium: “...Not only the moon and stars of the night sky act as stations where countless dreams and visions are born, but they are also the home of Moonlight Cookie, a legend in the history of magic.” Part of the Lunar Compendium: “The dough must be left to rise for 27 days under the moonlight, then sprinkled with glittering stardust. Place the dough in the oven and bake until the Cookies turn crispy golden.”
!
When you turn to the next page, a loose sheet of paper falls down.
It looks like notes from someone’s research.
Someone wrote down a bunch of comments…
It looks like they left the note while reading and forgot about it.
Someone’s Research Notes: “Purifying the starlight dough with the strainer apparatus, I notice something strange. I couldn’t recall adding such a* potent yet unknown ingredients to the dough batch.” *actual text
Someone’s Research Notes: “Even before the oven had cooled off, the leftover dough started to emanate a powerful aura…”
Part of the Lunar Compendium: “The moon is the very source of Transformation Magic… Perpetually changing its phases and luminosity, hiding itself behind the veil of nightly darkness.” Part of the Lunar Compendium: The moon produces radical changes when it comes in contact with dreams, the very soup of creation. Hence, the moment the ancient light of the stars finally reached us…
As you pick up the book, you can hear faint snoring. …Since when did books snore?
It says “The Exploration of Dreams: Sleepy Wizard’s Cookieology” on the cover.
The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 1: “It is said that Wizards enter the realm of subconsciousness when they dream. Could this also be the case for Cookies, the Wizards’ creations?” The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 1: “While it is a known fact that Cookies are capable of dreaming, no ingredients used by the Wizards or Witches have been linked to forming the subconscious in Cookies.” The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 1: “...Therefore, it is possible that when a Cookie starts dreaming, their spirit leaves their crunchy dough and enters a new, different plane of existence!” The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 1: “In order to verify this hypothesis, a Wizard measured the exact weight of a sleeping and dreaming Cookie with the most precise and sensitive kitchen scale.” The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 1: “The dreaming Cookie weighed exactly 1 oz less than when they were awake. Which leads to the conclusion that the spirit of a Cookie weighs 1 oz…”
The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 3: “Just like the dark side of the moon, every dream has hidden aspects that can only be explored by the dreamer alone. Fragments of imagination, future possibilities, apparitions…“ The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 3: “...The following is an excerpt from the testimonies of Cookies who claimed to have particularly vivid dreams.” The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 3: “In my dream, I was Moonlight Cookie. I glided through the skies on my crescent moon, scattering stardust…”
The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 5: “Other Cookies found themselves living different lives as different versions of themselves in their dreams. What if dreams are reflections of different realities?” The Exploration of Dreams: Ch 5: “Imagine, for instance, that the ‘Star Transplant Operation’ ended in failure, and Vega of the Sugar Swan became a supernova in a different universe…”
The next page is barely legible as there are ink stains everywhere.
Architecture of the Wizards: “Squares! Triangles! Circles! The stars have painted the night sky with all sorts of designs.” Architecture of the Wizards: Pt. 1: “Have you seen a color palette more beautiful and sophisticated than the night sky? Azure, cerulean and indigo! Cobalt and teal!” Architecture of the Wizards: Pt. 5: “The essential element in the City of Wizards’ architecture is the incorporation of various shades of blue from the night sky and star ornaments, including Star Jelly and moon variants.” Architecture of the Wizards: Pt. 5: “Another unexpected aspect of the design is the choice of certain materials to create a timeless impression. This reflects the architects’ hope to relay the immortal presence of the Wizards.”
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GingerBrave: We’re almost there! Let’s hurry! Strawberry Cookie: Huff puff… I’m going at my max speed…!
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GingerBrave: We made it! Now all we need to do is climb to the top…! GingerBrave: Wizard Cookie, c’mon! Wizard Cookie: Huff puff… I’m running…! Can’t you see I’M RUNNING! Strawberry Cookie: There’s someone at the gates…!
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Wizard Doll: Only the wise are allowed in the Clock Chamber. Astrologist Doll: Let the night sky guide your way. Knight Doll: Only the strong and the brave may ascend to the top! Strawberry Cookie: Do we need your permission to pass…? Wizard Doll: (silent nod) GingerBrave: Why did the Wizards like tests so much?! Wizard Cookie: Tell us more about the trials! Wizard Doll: Heed my question. An ingredient of great value is required to fashion a magic wand that will reveal a Cookie wizard’s true potential. What is it? Wizard Cookie: Easy-peasy! It’s a Sugar Crystal, of course! Wizard Doll: Wizard! You have acquired my permission to enter the Clock Tower. Wizard Cookie: Woohoo! How do you like that?! GingerBrave: Well done, Wizard Cookie!
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Astrologist Doll: Heed my question. A fiery star has risen in the sky west from here. Strawberry Cookie: Eh… Are you asking me…?! Er… Um… Strawberry Cookie: Moonlight Cookie herself pleaded for help… Maybe… A danger is growing closer…? Astrologist Doll: You may proceed, seeker of the moon. But beware of what lies ahead! Strawberry Cookie: Oh…! I must’ve guessed right! GingerBrave: Looks like the last test is for me! I’m the brave one here, right?! GingerBrave: Ohhh, what will it be…?! Knight Doll: I shall test your courage! TO ARMS! Wizard Cookie: I was afraid it would come to violence! NEVER A DULL MOMENT!
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Knight Doll: Cookies, brave and strong! You have my permission to enter the Clock Tower. GingerBrave: Was the fighting really necessary?! GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie, we’re coming! Wait just a bit more!
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Clockwork Doll 1: Who goes there?! GingerBrave: We came to wake Moonlight Cookie! Strawberry Cookie: And we must turn the clock’s hands…! Can you let us pass? Clockwork Doll 2: The clocks show the correct time. Clockwork Doll 1: Perfectly correct. Clockwork Doll 1 & 2: Cookies must leave.
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Clockwork Doll 1: Cookies are strong. Clockwork Doll 2: We are defeated. Strawberry Cookie: Eh… S-sorry about that! But we really must ring that bell! GingerBrave: Wizard Cookie! We’ll take it from here! You go upstairs and solve the riddle! Wizard Cookie: I can do that!
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Wizard Cookie: Alright… I’m in the Clock Chamber!
Three wizards cut the pie of time: Three pieces fair and just. A piece of sun, a piece of moon, A piece for all the stars. And soon the reel of stars turned thrive, The crescent met its half. Let Choco Major guide your way, The moonlight fete will start!
GingerBrave: Aha! There are pictures of the sun, the moon, and the stars at the ends of those three clock hands! Wizard Cookie: You might be right! But what do they have to do with pies? GingerBrave: Hm… Strawberry Cookie: “The pie of time…” Strawberry Cookie: Pies are usually round, right? What if the pie… is the face of the clock itself?! GingerBrave: Good thinking, Strawberry Cookie…! I’ll try to divide it into three parts! Wizard Cookie: GingerBrave, don’t forget: you always cut the biggest piece for yourself! Wizard Cookie: The riddle says that the parts must be fair, equal! Let me try! Wizard Cookie: There are twelve numbers… Divide by three… Four numbers per wizard!
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Wizard Cookie: Let’s move the sun hand to 12, the moon to 4, and the star to 8…. Wizard Cookie: See?! Perfectly equal! GingerBrave: Whoah! Good job, Wizard Cookie! From now on, I’ll let you cut all our pies! Wizard Cookie: Now, the reel of stars… Turn thrice… Stars, constellations… Maybe it’s that dial! Wizard Cookie: There are constellations inscribed all over it! Let’s try and turn it three times!
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GingerBrave: I think you’re right! And that crescent-shaped thing over there… GingerBrave: How do we make it meet its second half?! Is there even a second half?! Strawberry Cookie: Look! The second half is over there, on the opposite side! Strawberry Cookie: We could push them to make them meet… I think…
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Wizard Cookie: Yes! It worked! GingerBrave: Good job, friends! We’re almost there! We only have to find that Choco… Major now.
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GingerBrave: Oh no, we’re out of time! Strawberry Cookie: I’ve no idea what to do…! Wizard Cookie: …EUREKA! There!
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Wizard Cookie: Point the biggest hand at that star, GingerBrave! GingerBrave: Alright! I can do that!
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Wizard Cookie: Yes! YES! WE DID IT! The clock is glowing…!
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GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie… and the City of Wizards… is waking up! Wizard Cookie: It’s like the Universe meeting a new dawn…!
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GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie…! It’s us! Moonlight Cookie: GingerBrave! Strawberry Cookie, Wizard Cookie…! At last, we meet! You helped me cross the vast realm of dreams. Moonlight Cookie: Even in my slumbers, I knew you would come find me. Moonlight Cookie: On behalf of all the Wizards, I, Moonlight Cookie, thank you. Wizard Cookie: It’s a great honor to meet you! Thank you for inviting us here! Strawberry Cookie: Y-yes…! I’m happy to meet you, too! GingerBrave: No, it’s us who are thankful! We saw so many amazing things on our way here! Moonlight Cookie: …*smiles* Moonlight Cookie: My friends, it would have been an immense pleasure for me to show you this city, my home, but…! The moon has hidden behind a cloud, and the stars send us an anxious warning! Moonlight Cookie: It may so happen that… Time is against us. GingerBrave: What are you saying…? Moonlight Cookie: I have seen it in my dreams…! A vision not of our past but of our future…!
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Strawberry Cookie: The vision of a star falling from the sky…! Wizard Cookie: That’s just a shooting star…! To make a wish… Wizard Cookie: Wait… is it about to fall… right here?! Moonlight Cookie: Yes… The City of Wizards is in great danger. Moonlight Cookie: And though my powers will be enough to stop it, I cannot help but feel like something is amiss… GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie! Did you call us here because you knew it would happen?! Moonlight Cookie: I only saw a glimpse… Moonlight Cookie: A premonition of a coming calamity… Terrible… yet faintly familiar. GingerBrave: I don’t understand…
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GingerBrave: Huh! Look! Is that a Cookie?! Wizard Cookie: …You’re right! Right there! The bright blue star! ???: This is… Is this it? The CIty of Wizards…? ???: In my imagination, it looked different. And the Wizards…? There are none to be seen. Moonlight Cookie: You, the Cookie who descended with a rain of falling stars. The Wizards who created me left eons ago. Moonlight Cookie: I am the lone custodian of this abandoned city… Did you come in search of the Wizards? What is your name?
Stardust Cookie: They call me Stardust Cookie. I was born from the coalesced light of thousands of nameless stars and the very breath of the cosmos. Stardust Cookie: At first, I thought that my birth was a mere coincidence. Then, the stars whispered to me. They told me that the matter of my dough came from here.
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Strawberry Cookie: From… here…? GingerBrave: Please, stop the stars from raining down on us! You will destroy this city! Stardust Cookie: These stars do not follow my will. Stardust Cookie: They merely followed me to their birthplace. GingerBrave: W-what…?
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Moonlight Cookie: A Cookie born from the light of nameless stars? Are you… GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie! Did the Wizards create him, too?! Wizard Cookie: !!! Blueberry Pie Cookie tried to warn us. Wizard Cookie: The Wizards must have discarded the dough of nameless stars in their attempts to create Moonlight Cookie from the purest moonlight! GingerBrave: It was… Stardust Cookie! Stardust Cookie: I understand now. For them, I was an impurity. A loose unknown in their equation. Stardust Cookie: They banished my dough into space. And there, instinctively, it swam towards the sheltering starlight. So long ago… I barely recall… Stardust Cookie: I had already changed by the time I reached the Sugar Swan constellation. I gained awareness of my Cookie nature.
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Stardust Cookie: With time, wandering stardust completed my shape. And the suns heated my frozen, lifeless dough. Moonlight Cookie: I sensed it through my dreams… I watched how your features grew tangible with time. Moonlight Cookie: I traveled across the dreams of countless Cookies and Wizards, yet I’ve never seen anything quite like yourself. Moonlight Cookie: The enigma that you were haunted me. It made me feel as if my knowledge was a lie. Moonlight Cookie: But now I see it clearly: I and this city… We both had an unseen dark side. Moonlight Cookie: May I ask… Why did you bring the stars with you to fall upon this place? Stardust Cookie: It seems that we belong together. You may refuse to show it… But I can sense your struggle. Stardust Cookie: The fear and hatred you harbor towards me. Why? I did not even know of your existence. Stardust Cookie: And these stars… are playthings unwanted, thrown away by the Wizards. Stardust Cookie: In the vast cosmos, they wandered aimlessly, but now is the time for them to return to their birthplace’s embrace. It is my time to return…!
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Stardust Cookie: Heed my words, Wizards! For you have wronged us all! Moonlight Cookie: Like a calm shore that turns into a mighty tide, you came to wash away this city…! Moonlight Cookie: Unforeseen by even the wisest… Yes, even the Wizards’ knowledge had its limits. Moonlight Cookie: Please understand: their fascination with the night sky was pure. Their passion for knowledge had no ill intentions. Stardust Cookie: And still, we stand as an example of their cruelty. Forsaken and discarded by our creators. Stardust Cookie: Like this city… Like yourself in whom they took such pride. Moonlight Cookie: Ah…! Moonlight Cookie: …No more! Your words hurt like the terror of nightmares! GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie, don’t give in! Don’t forget how strong you are! Moonlight Cookie: …My heart is yearning. Yearning to meet them, to ask a question. Even for but a brief moment… Moonlight Cookie: …I trust them, therefore I must protect this city. To keep custody of their seat of power, until the day of their return. Moonlight Cookie: …Let this city dream, dream of victory…! Stardust Cookie: Do you wish to fight…? Knowing that space itself is immeasurably greater than you? Stardust Cookie: Then witness the full might of the countless bright stars!
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GingerBrave: W-what should we do?! The city’s defenses are getting weaker! Strawberry Cookie: Even the lights are flickering…! And the golden stars look all confused…! Wizard Cookie: Because of Stardust Cookie, Moonlight Cookie’s dream is getting unstable! Wizard Cookie: I-I don’t think we can help it…! He will destroy the city! We need to escape! NOW! GingerBrave: No, we can’t let that happen! We must protect Moonlight Cookie! Strawberry Cookie: What about… the Archives?! I’m worried about Blueberry Pie Cookie…! GingerBrave: !!!
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GingerBrave: Moonlight Cookie, you can do it! Please hold on a bit longer! We must help Blueberry Pie Cookie! Wizard Cookie: Be careful, GingerBrave! GingerBrave: GAH! You! GingerBrave: What are you doing? You’re supposed to protect the library!
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Revived Doom Star X-1: WHEEEEEER… BEEP BEEP… (DANGER. ALERT. DANGER. ALERT.) Revived Doom Star X-1: *BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ!* (UNIDENTIFIED POWERFUL COOKIE. IDENTIFYING… ANOTHER… MOONLIGHT COOKIE?) Revived Doom Star X-1: BEEP! CLANG! BZZZ! GingerBrave: What’s going on?! Wizard Cookie: I think… it thinks we’re the baddies! I-I have a bad feeling about this…!
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Revived Doom Star X-1: CLANG! BEEEP! BEEEEEEP! Moonlight Cookie: Ah… No…! Moonlight Cookie: You are the greatest of the Wizards’ stars! Please, stop your doomward march! Stardust Cookie: The star, too, must be sad to see its home destroyed… Stardust Cookie: I… I feel conflicted. This star should welcome our return. Yet it is in dismay. Stardust Cookie: Is there really no place for us here…? GingerBrave: Stardust Cookie, it’s time to stop! We understand you’re angry and all, but there’s no need to destroy the entire city! GingerBrave: If you continue, you will harm Moonlight Cookie! Stardust Cookie: Yes… This sight pains me too. I shall wipe this city clean, erasing all remaining memories of its denizens. GingerBrave: Yes, finally, you under- Wait, WHAT?! Wizard Cookie: Do you even hear yourself?! Stardust Cookie: Everything is filled with sorrow. The lonely cries of the stars, and Moonlight Cookie’s unseen tears. Huh… A custodian watching over an empty city. Stardust Cookie: How many years have you spent in solitude? Stardust Cookie: Can you even count those timeless years…? The Wizards are nowhere to be seen and they will never be seen again.
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Stardust Cookie: I shall bring this all to ruins. All to set you free! And I shall spare no strength…! GingerBrave: You don’t understand! Moonlight Cookie loves this place! Wizard Cookie: As a wizard myself, I’ll fight to protect this place! Let’s go, my friends!
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GingerBrave: We won…! Wizard Cookie: Moonlight Cookie,are you alright? The City of Wizards… Moonlight Cookie: Their cherished city lies in ruins… Stardust Cookie: Such strength… Wizard Cookie: THAT’S ENOUGH! It’s over! Stop burning yourself out! GingerBrave: Stardust Cookie… you’re hurt! GingerBrave: You’ve nearly destroyed this city, and yourself, too! Stardust Cookie: Pain… Is that what it’s called? I do not know the concept of pain… Stardust Cookie: I am the embodiment of sorrow, for it is all I know. Sorrow… and the cosmic void. Stardust Cookie: My fate is to return to dust. That is how the stars go… Doom Star X-1: *BZZZZZ! BZZZ! BEEP BEEP BEEP! (IDENTIFICATION… CONFIRMED! FRIENDLY TARGET!)* Stardust Cookie: The star gives a warning. It senses its nearing end. Stardust Cookie: Leave this place. When a lonely star’s lifetime reaches its end… Nothing can survive a supernova. GingerBrave: Lifetime…? What are you saying?! Stardust Cookie: When the loneliness becomes unbearable, a star begins to shrink and shrivel. It calls to other stars… to no avail. And, in the end, it turns into an all-consuming void. Stardust Cookie: Other stars call it… the dark vortex. Moonlight Cookie: Dark vortex… I cannot let it happen! Moonlight Cookie: There is always a way… Even the darkest night is illuminated by the starlight!
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Wizard Cookie: Huh… HUH…? The golden sphere… cracked! Stardust Cookie: It has begun… GingerBrave: What’s going on…! That black… thing in the air! GingerBrave: Ohhh! Oh no no no no! I’m getting… sucked in! Strawberry Cookie: Oh! I lost the Memory Flower…! Wizard Cookie: Waaaaah! Even… the light… is… sucked… in!
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Stardust Cookie: I… I can still fly away. Escape this place… Stardust Cookie: Or should I finally… give up? Perhaps, my life-long journey should end here? Stardust Cookie: My birthplace is no more, and there is nowhere to return, nor go. Stardust Cookie: All this is no different… from the cold void of space. Stardust Cookie: Yes… The time has come. Stardust Cookie: …
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Stardust Cookie: ………Warm. Stardust Cookie: …I am awake. I feel no burning fire. Stardust Cookie: Is it… the Sugar Swan constellation…? How…? ???: …Lady Moonlight Cookie once said, in this city, dreams know no limits. Stardust Cookie: …?!
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: Before the very end, you fell asleep. And now you are dreaming of the moment your life began. Blueberry Pie Cookie: For the end and the beginning always go hand in hand… Stardust Cookie: Who… who are you? Blueberry Pie Cookie: I am a creation of the Wizards, just like yourself. Blueberry Pie Cookie, the caretaker of the Archives. Blueberry Pie Cookie: I am the last of the librarians. And it is my duty to guide you to a book that has been awaiting you.
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Blueberry Pie Cookie: This book is called “A Wizard’s Journal.” On its pages, you will find the records of your creation. Blueberry Pie Cookie: I wish you… a pleasant reading. Stardust Cookie: A journal of… my creator? Stardust Cookie: I do not wish to know… Stardust Cookie: ……
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A Wizard’s Journal: “For a full lunar cycle,we have been working hard to collect moonlight at the tallest observatory. This dough radiates with magic. The Cookie to be born from it will become a legend.” A Wizard’s Journal: “After a thorough magiscope examination, we managed to identify a minute fraction of nameless starlight resting quietly within the dough.” A Wizard’s Journal: “How was this possible?! I’ve come to the conclusion that these nameless stars managed to hide between the phases of the waning and waxing crescents.” A Wizard’s Journal: “What a cruel yet deserved joke from our beloved night sky! Countless stars shine in the darkness of a moonless night. This will grant our Moonlight Cookie immense, yet unstable powers.” A Wizard’s Journal: “No one must know of this error. What should I do?” A Wizard’s Journal: “Perhaps I should leave this tiny speck to the judgment of the Archwizards. Or perhaps I should return it to the cosmic depths, where Possibility and Chance will shape it into something wonderful, something beyond imagination itself.” Stardust Cookie: Possibility? Chance? Beautifully said… Stardust Cookie: Beyond my creators’ imagination… Stardust Cookie: ………
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GingerBrave: …UP!!! Phew… He woke up! Stardust Cookie, are you alright?! GingerBrave: Stardust Cookie! Stardust Cookie: …Another dream…? What a strange place.
Star of Remembrance
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Stardust Cookie: What happened to me…? Moonlight Cookie: My powers allow me to travel between dreams… Wizard Cookie: The Wizards used to call this phenomenon “the cosmic tunnel,” if I’m not mistaken… Ahem! Stardust Cookie: ……? GingerBrave: You can enter one dream, and come out of another! I think you… you fell asleep and entered Moonlight Cookie’s dream. Wizard Cookie: Hmmmh! At least my explanation was “scientific!” Stardust Cookie: One way or another, you saved me. Stardust Cookie: Me, who wrought… this upon your city. Moonlight Cookie: …Each dream holds its own truth. Moonlight Cookie: I dreamed of this city that forgot about the catastrophe it created… Moonlight Cookie: And, perhaps too late, I understood… The frightful premonition imprinted on my dreams… It was meant for me who could not see the dark side of the moon! Moonlight Cookie: For me, whose duty was to safeguard the Wizards’s knowledge, catastrophic was not your arrival but my refusal to see the truth. Moonlight Cookie: And still… it pains me greatly to see the city ruined. Moonlight Cookie: what is now left for us, abandoned and forlorn…? GingerBrave: Oh, right! The Memory Flower! GingerBrave: Where is it? Sugar Glass Cookie’s message! We wanted you to see it…! Moonlight Cookie: Hm…? Sugar Glass Cookie? Strawberry Cookie: I-I’m so sorry…! I… I think I lost the Memory Flower…! GingerBrave: Ohhhh! Are you sure?! W-what should we do, Wizard Cookie?! Stardust Cookie: Are you speaking of this…?
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Stardust Cookie: I noticed its faint yet mesmerizing glint back in the void of the dark vortex. Stardust Cookie: Take it. It is yours. GingerBrave: No, no! The message is meant for you! Both of you! Stardust Cookie: For Moonlight Cookie… and me?
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Sugar Glass Cookie: G-greetings…! …My name is Sugar Glass Cookie… Sugar Glass Cookie: If you touched this memory, it means… It means that you have found my flower…! Sugar Glass Cookie: I must leave this place… Yet… When the other Cookie arrives… Sugar Glass Cookie: I’d like you to know that I have waited for so long… That you are not alone… Sugar Glass Cookie: How I wished to meet you face to face… But the outside world beckons me! It’s all thanks to Amber Sugar Cookie and our friends… Sugar Glass Cookie: Do you know…? Do you know why the Wizards made us like this? This thought did not make room for others in my mind for so long… Sugar Glass Cookie: But then I met new friends… New memories… And it all became clear! Sugar Glass Cookie: So many flowers bloom in my greenhouse. And every one of them is beautiful, precious in its own way…! Sugar Glass Cookie: What if for someone, we, too… Sugar Glass Cookie: May I leave one very special flower here for you? It has my first memory of seeing the sunlight… Sugar Glass Cookie: This precious flower… Will remain here until you find it. ???: Sugar Glass Cookie, I'm leaving without you! Sugar Glass Cookie: Just a moment…! Sugar Glass Cookie: Goodbye, my friends! I hope to meet you in the outside world…!
Star of Dreams
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Stardust Cookie: How could I forget…? Stardust Cookie: How could I forget how precious all the stars were to me…? Even though someone else’s eye might not see the difference. Moonlight Cookie: And the moonlight illuminates these streets with such warm light. Stardust Cookie: …I did not know I had a friend here. In the end, my arrival was not in vain. Stardust Cookie: Drifting in the emptiness of space, it is so easy to feel loneliness. Ages may pass, but eventually, starlight reaches everywhere… Every one of us. Stardust Cookie: I am the living proof. Moonlight Cookie: Yes… I had forgotten too. For I was lonely for so long. Moonlight Cookie: I did not realize that we belonged together… Stardust Cookie: Will you ever forgive me for the destruction of this city? Stardust Cookie: And, if you are willing, I would love to visit Sugar Glass Cookie’s greenhouse, together. Moonlight Cookie: I forgive you, Stardust Cookie. For I am also so, so sorry that you had to spend an eternity alone. GingerBrave: Huh..? They’re holding hands! And there’s light coming from them, so bright!
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Moonlight Cookie: Is this… a dream revived…? Wizard Cookie: The stars and the moonlight are together once again..! It’s the birth of a new power!
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Moonlight Cookie: Ah, the bright full moon speaks to me…! Just like the moon sets and rises again, a new hope will be found among the ashes…!
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GingerBrave: The City of Wizards is coming back to life…! Wizard Cookie: How beautiful…! Strawberry Cookie: Moonlight Cookie… That… is amazing! Stardust Cookie: How can all this be possible? Moonlight Cookie: I understand it now! The whole city was my dream…!
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Never-ending Story
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GingerBrave: Guess I should’ve asked this earlier, but… GingerBrave: What’s your dream, Stardust Cookie? Stardust Cookie: My dream… Yes… Voyaging across space, freely… Stardust Cookie: Perhaps, I will find the Wizards who created me among the countless stars? Wizard Cookie: Among the countless stars… I can’t wrap my head around that! Wizard Cookie: You amaze me, Stardust Cookie! No, you are my star! Stardust Cookie: Ha ha… Thank you. Stardust Cookie: I am happy to have found you, Cookies of free will! GingerBrave: Will we ever meet again? Stardust Cookie: I do not know. But I will cherish this memory forever in my heart.
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Milky Way Cookie: Choo choo! The Western Sky Express is departing! Get on if you want…! Stardust Cookie: Yes, how fortunate! This time I shall travel toward the rising moon! Stardust Cookie: What lies at the end of the Western Sky, conductor? Milky Way Cookie: Erm… Well… They call it the “Cosmic Tideland!” You know, tiny galaxies jumping around, dancing to and fro…! Milky Way Cookie: If you’re a first-timer, I recommend the Whipped Cream Galaxy. How did the legend go… “Cross the whipped cream sea on a fallen leaf boat to enter another world…” Or something like that! Stardust Cookie: Then it sounds like a plan. Stardust Cookie: Stay safe, Cookies! I will let you know if I ever find the Wizards! Milky Way Cookie: THE TRAIN’S DEPAAAARTING! All aboard! Fasten your seatbelts, folks! CHOOOO!
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Wizard Cookie: What a Cookie! Didn’t even hesitate a second…! Strawberry Cookie: Maybe Stardust Cookie was born to travel space… Or maybe he wandered for so long, meeting us felt no longer than a moment… GingerBrave: Safe travels, Stardust Cookie! I’ll think of you whenever I look at the stars!
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GingerBrave: Whoah, so much happened! Finally, we can talk! Moonlight Cookie: I know the message you’ve brought me, Cookies. Moonlight Cookie: I felt the ripples in my dream… Winds of change are blowing our way… Moonlight Cookie: I have also seen Cookies all around the world, gathering forces… GingerBrave: Yes, that’s right! Thing is… GingerBrave: We need your help to fight Dark Enchantress Cookie! GingerBrave: We’ve seen how powerful you are today! Moonlight Cookie! Together, we will win! Wizard Cookie: But we’ll need to find other Legendary Cookies, too! Moonlight Cookie: I understand. My strength is yours. Moonlight Cookie: I can see it now. The stars above the continent of Beast-Yeast… have turned crimson. Moonlight Cookie: I’ve yet to witness the dreams of Dark Enchantress Cookie but I will not let any harm come your way. Moonlight Cookie: Have no fear! GingerBrave: Awesome! Thanks, Moonlight Cookie!
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Wizard Cookie: Moonlight Cookie, are you going to return to the World of Dreams…? Moonlight Cookie: Yes… I’ve used much of my strength to restore the city. Now the dreams are beckoning me… Moonlight Cookie: My friends, you’ll always be welcome in this city! Moonlight Cookie: When in need of help, call me from your dreams…! Strawberry Cookie: Goodbye, Moonlight Cookie…! I’ll see you in my dreams…!
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Wizard Cookie: Something troubling you, GingerBrave? GingerBrave: Hmmm… At first, I thought how cool the Wizards were. But after meeting Stardust Cookie. I don’t know what to think… GingerBrave: We escaped from the Witch because we didn’t wanna be eaten, right? And now we live happily, freely, however we want? Wizard Cookie: Well, yeah? Wizard Cookie: It also got me thinking… For someone looking down on us from the stars, we are nothing but dust? Even smaller than dust! Wizard Cookie: Everything in this city was so tall and big… It reminded me of the Witch’s hut… Wizard Cookie: But the sky was too far and wide even for the human wizards. It had to be! So when I look at it now, I forget that I’m just a tiny Cookie wizard. And, if only for a brief moment, I feel like I belong in this city. Strawberry Cookie: Maybe that’s why the Cookies born here felt so close to the humans who created them… Wizard Cookie: Here’s what I think. They tried so hard to understand each other, right…? Maybe that’s why they both fell in love with the night sky…? Strawberry Cookie: That’s… beautifully poetic.
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zhongliologist · 2 years ago
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Hello!! I'd like to send in a request for the writing challenge. I'd like to request a drabble for Alhaitham, and since today's my grandmother's 70th birthday, let's go with the number 70! No specific requests, feel free to take any and all creative liberties with this one! I like surprises. I've been following you for some time now, and think your writing is wonderful, so I'm excited to see what you come up with!!
Hope you have a great day!
(Hi! Thank you so much for supporting this blog and liking my work!! Hm idk if Al-haitham here is a little ooc but whever skskskks hope you like it! I recommend listening to the Korean version as well!)
Al-haitham + Fallin' Flower by SEVENTEEN
It was that time of the year again where flowers bloom amidst the lush green of Sumeru’s forest, like life beginning anew; like love blooming earnestly.
Al-haitham paced in his study, tasked with the job of sorting out old books and journals which have collected dust over the past two years. Some will be placed in the dedicated library of his home, while some will be donated to the House of Daena, usually those which have higher value to scholars.
As for the journals, he once thought it would be useful to have a handy notebook whenever he needed it, but now, it had become quite an obsession. Writing his thoughts in a journal seemed to clear Al-haitham’s mind, and he would just write whatever and whenever, often in various scripts and languages he was fluent in.
Picking up a tattered dark green notebook, Al-haitham pulled it open. It reminded him of the time he has to go to Liyue for a business trip; a time where your relationship were still tiny buds emerging from a branch.
Entry #57
I discussed various things with her again. It was fascinating, to say the least.
She said to me, “What a mind.” Not that no one has ever said that to me before, but why is it different with her?
Perhaps I would calm down once I return home. Out of sight, out of mind.
Entry #59
I told her I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.
She only smiled to me—a smile that hurts more because it’s beautiful.
Like a heart filled with sadness.
But even so, it’s better this way. No one reaches their hand for falling petals.
Al-haitham closed the journal and placed it in a box on the foot of the table. There was a time when he thought it was the last time he would see you, and he had even resolved himself to that eventuality. Yet, the ultimate truth—fate, liked to play hooky with him in times and places he was the least prepared, much to his chagrin.
He found it, the red journal he was writing on a little later on. Opening it to an entry he remembered writing, he continued reminiscing.
Entry #12
I had thought I’d once again return to my peaceful life as the Grand Scribe, yet I am only confronted with complicated emotions. Going about this rationally; trying to overthink my way out of my feelings remain futile. What is it that makes her special anyway? Why am I feeling this way in the first place? I don’t want to admit it but…
In the end. I simply miss her.
I fly scattered in the wind, drifting away, where will I end up falling?
Entry #22
How hilarious this must be for fate.
For her to appear like this in Sumeru City. What are the chances? I could only laugh at the circumstances.
But then again, who could stop me from seeing her again? This isn’t how it should be. But maybe it’s true that somehow, you change unexpectedly for a person.
Al-haitham chuckled at his stubborn indignation from a year before. “Soon you’ll see that you have already fallen into the trap long before you realized you were in it.” Flipping a few pages forward, the dates change as well as the seasons. From the unbearable summer heat, to the leaves finally getting drenched in light rain, you had already taken root in Al-haitham’s heart.
Entry # 67
I sit here in my office facing this blank page before me. Even though there are numerous words which swirl in my head, I cannot fathom where I begin or end.
It had taken me a few days to reconcile with myself. It is either I be honest or I’ll lose her forever. The wound in my pride, that I can bear but losing her is a thought that is difficult to imagine. Perhaps the Lesser Lord was right, I already have the answers I seek. I just need to face what those answers entail.
I have never thought I would want to fall for someone. I was living in the moment. My life was alright here in Sumeru—my job as the grand Scribe, my peaceful nights reading. I thought that was enough for me. That is, until I met her.
There I realized that everything had a reason after all. This world to me now means more than what I had thought, I came to know that.
Entry #79
In my heart, a flower has bloomed.
It may not be me to say such things, yet I cannot withhold myself. After meeting her, I now understood what Kaveh was fighting for. This love, this romance which grasped even me who was drifting in the wind. The place where my fallen heart has reached is definitely the happiest place in the world. With her, even my dim future becomes clearer as time goes by.
I want to be with her.
I realized that just now.
Entry #89
To you,
It is the time when flowers bloom and fall, our wounds heal and you bloom. We are now living our first and the last, so I will treasure you for all my days. You have truly loved me, a scattered petal in the wind, and I have come to love you too.
Al-haitham offered a small gentle smile at his final account, remembering the day when flowers fell upon you; your smile radiating like the sun. He had no words left to describe how he felt at that time. It was a feeling which needed to be experienced to be understood.
“Al-haitham? What are you doing?”
Your voice rang through the doorway of his study, curious at how his gaze has softened at you. It was not every day that the ever-serious man would give you that look. Surely, there was a reason for it.
“Oh, just reading something interesting,” he replied, smiling gently. “But you know, I’m truly glad to have you in my life.”
You leaned your head to the side, intrigued by his sudden honestly. “Huh? What’s that all about?”
The man only hummed mischievously and continued with his reading. “Oh it’s nothing.”
Spotify Wrapped Drabble Challenge is still open!
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aces-and-kings · 1 year ago
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Viper,
It has been a considerable amount of time since our paths last crossed, and no doubt in receiving this you will be met with the same shock as I was when I first saw you again after so long. I wish I didn't have to cause you this upset, but having you wonder seems a crueler fate.
There are truths that need to be spoken, burdens that need to be shouldered, and redemption that needs to find its way into our lives. As I put ink to parchment, I hope these words may find you well, despite the rift of time and distance that has kept us apart.
First and foremost, I want you to know that I left to protect you. The Syndicate we faced was relentless, and their pursuit of you consumed my every waking moment. They demanded your life for what they perceived as your betrayal, for not following through with the mark to kill me. In my heart, I knew the only way to keep you safe was to take to the sea, disappear into the depths, and take each one of the bastards with me.
It was two years before they seemed to stop coming. When I returned from my self-imposed exile, I discovered that you had found happiness and moved on with your life. How could I blame you?You had no word. Nothing to go on. I'm sure you would have waited if you knew. No, you'd never have let me face them alone, but that was a risk I couldn't take. Your life could never be a gamble.
Spider, your dear… brother, made it clear that you had rebuilt, that wounds had healed over, and life had taken a new course for you. He implored me not to disrupt the tranquility you had found, and in my cowardice, I obliged without so much as an apology.
Recent events have turned my world upside down, yet again, as my closest companion, Red, has died. His parting words, urging me to seek you out for the closure that has eluded us for far too long. Yet, as I stand on the precipice of this decision, I find myself incapable of taking the necessary steps toward a reunion.
I confess, that this reluctance stems from fear - fear that our tumultuous past would resurface and continue to consume us both, like a storm that knows no end.
Even though I cannot bring myself to stand before you once more, I want you to know that your happiness and well-being have always been my greatest concern, and it is with great reluctance that I release my grip and grant us both peace, happy for the life you've built for yourself.
Here, enclosed with this letter, is a simple trinket. You'll recognize it, but it is nothing more than a token, a reminder of the bond we once shared. Hold it close, Viper, and know that it carries the echoes of our past and the hopes for a brighter future.
Please find it in your heart to forgive this coward who has sacrificed so much but cannot gather the courage to face you. May your path be filled with serenity, happiness, and love, for you deserve nothing less.
with a heavy heart,
Thor
:the stamp of A.H. a top an hourglass symbol decorates the bottom right corner of the letter:
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