#i am still currently disappointed by this
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wi papa look a thing there for me. awa.
prefacing this with a PSA that i'm going to try and keep short but basically regardless of anything i say here let me make it known that i do believe he should apologize. whether or not he's still actively saying that word in 2024 it is something he's used in the past even if he isn't performing said play anymore/saying things like that so flippantly. granted if he does apologize there's always going to be a section of fandom that's like 'he only apologized bc he got caught' yes?????????? that's what always happens????????? lbr you're not going to get on IG and announce you killed your ex two decades ago and you'll be turning yourself in when there's an entire true crime community in the depths of the internet who will dig up the cold case + the suspiciously convenient alibi anyway without you lifting a finger. politicians who get called out for blackface in college do not go around telling people they did blackface in college. celebrities who were homophobic on this hellsite in high school back in the early 10s before they realized they were gay are not going to let you know what their handle was. this is how the world works.
that being said i must confess i caught wind of the stirrings of this a bit early bc during the clusterfuck that was the Jam vs Zamasian RPF poll (i did not go in the notes. rancid ass shit) someone had taken a screenshot of a reblog made as a 'gotcha' to Zamasian voters by implying that they were anti-Black for voting for a ship featuring an actor that said the n-word in a play he hasn't performed for several decades since, with a short taped example that the general public was not going to know how to find unless they were on a mission. i poked around, saw a couple hints here and there that implied that the clip actually existed, marked that down for future ref and went about my business. disappointing? sure. run of the mill especially among people his age in the industry from that time period who are perceived to benefit from white privilege? absolutely. the former bird identified app dragging all of this back into the light (including the interview with Chris Rock. which i have not seen though there's no way it was within the last few years for AMC to still hire Eric if they had seen it. correct me if i'm wrong pls) is unexpected but tracks for the fandom on there.
generally i don't believe in cancelling someone for things they said or did more than ten years ago if they are no longer the same person they were back then. i don't believe Jacob or Assad or any one of the staff of color who may have been working behind the scenes would have agreed to continue interacting with Eric if he had the same attitude as he did when he first wrote and performed the play. i don't believe his Black comedian niece would continue to talk about him and share photos with him if he was calling her or the Black side of her family the n-word. i am willing to give the 'Eric Bogosian n-word' reply tweet he reportedly made before deleting it shortly after the brief benefit of the doubt bc it was 1. supposedly under someone else's tweet talking about the play incident and 2. i cannot count how many times i have accidently commented/almost posted something on here or YouTube or Reddit or ao3 bc i was on mobile and once the keyboard's open the app/browser flips the fuck out and puts the search bar and the comment box too close together. now if his ass shows up and shows out and stands ten toes down while he's currently on time-out or doesn't address any of this we're dealing with a different story. if more examples of him acting like this come out i'll drop him faster than you can call the election it will be that serious.
anyway for now i'm choosing to keep an eye on this while acknowledging that us Black folks do have the right to be upset and pissed as fuck. we deal with enough racism/microaggressions in fandom spaces as it is we definitely don't need new ones, and we don't need them from the past career choice of the main cast of a show a lot of us enjoy. amen
#tv: interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#iwtv#eric bogosian#what a lovely start to the 5th already (derogatory)#i've said what i needed to say. i'm leaving reblogs on for now but if people start clowning in my notes it's going off i ain't here#for any of that shit. bitch if this was another cast member we were talking about i'd say the same thing don't get it twisted#if i even smell one of you about to be like 'i always knew—' 'i never liked him—' 'DM fans—' it's an instant fucking block. shut up.#you're not helping thank you#edit: typo located in the second to last paragraph that i just fixed..................... this is what happens when you type out what#you thought out in the shower i'm cryingggggggggggg
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A message to my American brothers and sisters whose candidate lost this election:
Firstly, I am neither American nor did I vote for your election so do take what I say with a grain of salt.
I’m writing to you guys because I know how you feel. I’ve been there.
During the 2020 Presidential election of the Philippines, I too supported a movement. Not a candidate—a movement. A female presidential candidate who raised hope, became a champion for marginalized communities whose only goal was to create opportunities to shift my country away from the vitriol that came from a previous president who strong armed my country into a bloody war on drugs that saw the death of thousands of poor people.
And like you, I lost.
With the spread of misinformation and lies, my country elected the son of a dictator who proved himself to be the ineffective, incompetent and dishonest leader we all secretly hoped he wouldn’t be.
Our hopes dimmed.
Tears were shed.
Resentment flowered in us like a storm.
It was difficult to swallow the results of an election that had so much at stake. You see, like your President-elect, our current President spent millions of pesos contesting a fair election that saw him losing out to the vice presidential position during the previous election.
Through bullying and intimidation, he sought to undermine a fair election that took him out of power.
And like your current President-elect, he still managed to win at the end.
It would have been easier to accept the results had it not been for the mocking of 31 million Filipinos who voted our current president into office.
We all heard them tell us, “You’re crying over an election? You need better things to worry about.”
I want you to know that it’s okay to cry.
Your frustrations and disappointment are valid.
It is rare to find a candidate you’re able to place so much hope in and to have that hope dashed away is a bitter pill that is difficult to swallow.
I know, you’re probably tired of hearing it.
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Accept it and move on.”
“It is what it is.”
“There’s nothing more to do.”
It’s okay. I’m tired of it too.
I know you’re probably scared and angry and so, so, so tired. Two years after our election and I am still all of these things.
I still think about the what if, the what could have beens. I think a lot about how better off we would have been if the right person won.
I want you to know that it’s okay. It’s okay to mourn those things.
You did your part. You voted and you campaigned and you fought hard. Sometimes, we just lose.
If there’s any advice I can impart, it’s that I hope you take your frustration, your sadness, you exhaustion, your anger, and turn it into righteous fury.
Take that fury and do something with it.
Because the movement cannot stop here. The moment we stop fighting, they win.
To lose hope means victory for the other side.
I get it. It’s easier to get mad at the people who voted for him. It’s even easier to spew the same vitriolic hate towards them when they start complaining about how things don’t change and how your country is worse off but theirs is the vote that put a wannabe-dictator in power.
Don’t do it.
Because that divide is precisely why they keep winning. It’s the same divide they sowed into my country and we are still struggling to fight that division everyday.
Losing this election is a step backwards but losing hope would be another step back.
Even to this day, my presidential candidate continues to inspire hope for change in my country.
I know yours will too.
It’s not the end.
I need you to remember to breathe.
Breathe in the hope you desperately fought for;
breathe through the hurt of the loss;
and breathe out the fear they so badly want you to feel.
The road is long and it’s scary.
But there’s about 50 or so million other people on that road with you. You might not be the majority but even David was small when he killed Goliath.
Cause if you voted for Kamala Harris, you already know you have the courage and righteous fury to fight for change and you cannot give up now that you’re so close.
You lost the battle but it’s not the end of the war.
So tonight, grieve. Cry. Hug your friends and family who are right there with you. Be sad and mourn the loss of what could have been.
Because tomorrow, when you wake, you will continue fighting for change.
Because no one else will.
#election 2024#us elections#kamala harris#kamala 2024#vote harris walz#harris walz 2024#tim walz#vote democrat#vote blue#blue
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Part 1 - Part 6 - Part 7
"Look, it's not like I didn't believe you, but woah", Winn said, gaping. Alex silently nodded in agreement.
"Thank you all for helping me", Lena smiled warmly, still a bit shy now that everyone suddenly saw her.
"Em, yeah, sorry, Lena, there is a catch", Winn winced, rubbing back of his head sheepishly. "We kinda can't hear you. Because you speak so quietly that only Kara's ears can catch it, so if I make you loud enough for us..."
Lena tilted her head, thinking for a bit. She signaled Kara to relay her words.
"But it's not like all sounds are deafening for Kara", it was strange to talk about herself like that, "So it means there is some biological adjustments for her hearing".
"Of course, but I didn't want fo experiment with something that could potentially end very bad".
Lena and Winn traded ideas back and forth, already creating precautions, when Alex interrupted them, looking amused.
"Sorry to stop you both from nerding out but J'onn said we can just talk in the red lamp room. It will solve all your problems, no?"
Two geniuses meekly nodded.
"This way, miss Luthor". J'onn smiled and gestured to the coridor.
/ / / / / / / / /
Winn (with Lena right behind his shoulder) inserted some new parameters into his tablet, once they settled in the red sun lamps' room. And when he nodded to Lena, she said tentatively:
"Thank you all for your help", she smiled.
"I'm glad to help fellow genius", Winn happily answered. "Now we just need to..."
"Find my body, yes", Alex and Winn winced. Kara stared at the floor, trying not to see Lena's face, as she was talking about it.
"Yes, that. But we need to do one very important thing first".
Everyone glanced at each other with confusion. J'onn seemed to know what's that already, but he still looked relaxed, so Kara and Alex just waited till Winn's desire for dramatics was satisfied.
"We need to introduce ourselves!" Lena laughed, and wobbled in the air a little. It seemed that being visible didn't take away her ghostly powers. And while Winn was listing all his accomplishments, Kara found herself thinking.
Lena looked much more real now. Even without her powers Kara could see tiny freckles lining up on the side of her neck. Red lamps gave her green eyes mysterious glow, making Lena look ephemeral in a way that didn't have anything with the her status of a ghost.
It pained Kara so much to see her like that. Like she would be soft and warm to the touch, like she could really hug Kara or pat her cheek, like they need to just save her and not to retrieve her body.
Still Kara couldn't help but reach out hoping against everything that the fact that everyone can see Lena meant she can touch her.
When her hand went right through the edge of Lena's jacket, Kara tried very hard to hide her disappointment, but she still caught J'onn's sympathetic smile.
"So... You are the woman my sister is seeing", Alex asked strictly, and Lena chocked on the words she exchanged with Winn.
"I- Well, technically... I guess I am..?" It was adorable to see Lena suddenly fumbling with words, and Kara decided to play the knight despite her own embarrassment.
"Alex", she shook her head, exasperated. "Don't mess with Lena".
"What? She is," Alex shrugged, but finally smiled. "It's not like I said anything wrong. And here you are, already nagging me".
"This is Agent Danvers, Supergirl's foster sister", J'onn intervened, when Kara opened her mouth to bicker. "We are currently in DEO, department of extra-normal operations. And I am its Director - J'onn J'onzz."
"It's good to meet you, sir", Lena nodded.
"Likewise. I promise, that DEO will do everything to secure your body and will protect it until we can hand it over to miss Arias".
"I... appreciate it."
Room grew somber. When Winn's tablet chimed, he scattered to read it, if only to avoid awkward atmosphere.
"Miss Arias send us the information".
"It was fast", Alex said, already scanning the data from behind his shoulder.
"Well, she had a password. I will put it over our map".
They gathered around small tablet, looking at the area north of National city. Lena's coordinats, the green dot on the screen, was constantly changing as the map adjusted, only to stop right above the red mark.
"It's a Cadmus base", J'onn said grimly and stood up, already giving out commands to the agents by his communication device.
"This one is Lilian Luthor's", Alex sighed and joined her director in getting ready. They didn't seem hurried, since they will have to wait until Kara restores her powers.
"I guess she's one of my relatives?" Lena asked carefully.
"Your adoptive mother, to be precise", Winn was already putting dossier up front.
He started to recount his files to Lena, but Kara, tense after mention of Cadmus and as attuned to Lena as she is, felt that something was wrong.
Lena was pale. She always had a bit of white hue when Kara was the only one to see her, but now even with Winn's invention she was almost transperent.
"It's her. This is the woman I talked with, when my car crushed". Lena's voice was detached and angry, her hands clenched. When she turned to look at Kara, her voice cracked in the middle. "She wanted to kill me".
#supergirl#supercorp#are you excited to see lilian?#winn and lena is so genius they forgot an easy solution#j'onn is the Dad#kara danvers#lena luthor
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feel like im having a DA2 experience again where I really liked it and was in my little "this is good" cocoon where i played it many times only to emerge from underground and find everyone else hated it (i mean ive found the other da2 cicadas since but at the time it got really slammed). i've been really enjoying DA:TV so far ( lol tho obvs have notes) here's an early thoughts review, may be a bit spoilery, def rambley, trying to stay vague on stuff still (i think i'm about half way maybe? im trying to not look things up and doing it blind on my first run through. it's hard to tell b/c i went hard on all the side quests and am now way over level for the msq)
the combat system is a little jarring at first and i still miss at least being able to switch to and play as party members if your character dies (instead of the god of war style of full wipe), but i've gotten used to it (it's more annoying for boss fights, regular combat it's very zippy and fun). the targeting at least on controller is kind of annoying sometimes- i'll think i'm pointing at one enemy only to have rook turn and fire at nothing or companions to hit an add instead of a boss. I wish we at least had more control over how it queued who it was hitting. some of the arenas are obnoxious design wise - there's bosses that teleport to you and they give you like a tiny little box to dodge around, not the most fun. i do like that you can punch way above of your weight class sometimes which reminds me of DAO a little bit (like how you'd just wander into a fight or hit a gong and be like oh no, those enemies have skulls over their heads, oh well YOLO). sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's very satisfying. It's nice to be able to conquer something mechanically even underleveled (smol fromsoft vibes) Having always been a big fan of the strange composition parties (i.e not just war/rogue/mage), i like that this is now even more viable (and not just me being cheeky "we're having a leather party!" of all squishy rogues). but like the main thing about bioware games is the companions/interpersonal shit and i'm enjoying the heck out of that .i only do main quests to get more side quests from companions (or more side quests in general so we can troll around for more banter). i like petting griffons (and cats and dogs) and playing games with manfred*. I wish the gift system was more interesting like DAO or DA2- i was so excited to see it again and then it was a little disappointing to have them barely react when you get them stuff.
my current fave party are rook and the poison boys (emmerich and lucanis) since they're a rogue too and we just stack necrosis, bleeds and other elemental effects on things till they disintegrate. i like the lighthouse, it feels much cozier than skyhold. I love that you can just wander up to companions having convos and awkwardly eavesdrop. I do miss the little interactions/quests you could get with cole esp*** i think the animations are a little lack lustery? Idk there's something with the face model morphs that sometimes feels weird but the voice acting is strong enough that I don't notice too much. i do miss some of the more bioware-y cheeky things like item descriptions or weird notes near random silly environmental tableaus (there's a little but i just want to read all the notes! there's some in the grey warden areas where i was just like WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS but there was no plaque about them T.T). where are the stacks of cheese (i do appreciate the fereldens love cheese jokes tho and harding getting so excited when someone says something nice about ferelden) i was esp bummed that there were no random things to read in the black emporium and it's all codex entries instead (that's my favorite tiny bit in DA2 where there's junk you can click on and xenon says weird shit to you). i also wish more had been done with accents of npcs- like i wish all the antivans had similar accents or your crow rook had an antivan accent, stuff like that (having a lot of "ferelden" generic british accents everywhere is disappointing. takes you out of the immersion a lot) My biggest gripe is probably the pacing - I wish it had more horror/mystery pacing like dao and da2 had- the reason we're all scarred by the brood mother is b/c the build up to that was so so creepy (also the necromancer bit w/hawke's mum in DA2). They gave us time to be unnerved or afraid and I do feel the evanuris reveals have been a little rushed so you can't really feel that worried about them (some of the side quests get close to this but still not quite there**). I wish they'd let them breathe a bit more instead of rushing from one giant world changing event to the next. Some of the reveals have been not so great- like lore that the fandom has poured over for 15ish years explained in one line?? i wish there'd been more build up of rook as a character too, maybe even a time skip from a prologue to finding solas kind of thing. the first trailer made it seem like that's what was going to happen but then it in media res'd us in a strange way. the first 10 hours of the game are probably the weakest imho, it took it a bit to get rolling and feel more natural. I appreciate that the first major decision doesn't really let you scum save for it (bit of a jump scare for me lol).
I also don't really need this much varric anymore, i kinda wish we had a different narrator if we have to have one. He feels really awkward to just have there and not doing anything(and not just kill off or have something happen to him? he got stabbed by the dagger and harding only touched it is what i'm saying). at least let him get better pjs and slippers or something Idk it does feel like bits of previous iterations they were working on are still there and they don't completely serve the plot well. And ofc there's the decisions not meaningfully carrying over thing- which is a huge bummer. But in reality they've never been good at that- the characters from previous games we see in new games don't really carry through their plots/arcs that much (it's more like cameos or they're a new person now) and the world states are usually effectively the same just with aesthetic faction swaps. I was sort of hoping we'd get some solavellan SOMETHING but it doesn't look like we will get much at all past the stuff in minrathous. i feel like if they were going to only include the one choice it really should have had more impact on the story. (i am also still a clown and want to talk to solas constantly still even tho he has no reason to talk to my rook at all, i do not care, i love a sad woof. i wish we could just casually visit him in the fade. i wish we could switch to lavellan and visit him in the fade, idk something. need more gareth david-lloyd pls) the interpersonal character decisions have been the only ones that mattered much and then only within the constrains of their own games- the bigger world changing stuff is usually the illusion of choice. It would have been nice if they let us have one protagonist carry through but i can also see why they liked changing it up and felt stuck in that format. tl;dr: i'm really like it for what it is but it's def got flaws. Parts of it feel super polished while other bits do not- i think knowing how game dev works that they had to make decisions on what was going to get prioritized and some of it works while others not so much. I wish the pacing was better for sure but i love the characters/companions which is generally what bioware is best at. sad it won't get meaningful dlc, i don't really care about mass effect 5 tbqh. So far I like it better than inquisition for the most part- it feels like a bigger/more polished DA2 in a lot of ways if that makes any sense (with similar budget/pacing issues, but the environments are more fun). as i mentioned in my other post, i really appreciated the trans/non binary inclusion into the story/cc tho. like that can't be discounted, even if the rest of the game has issues. (all the holes in the narrative make me want to do fan art and fan fiction tho so idk, maybe that's an okay thing. maybe dragon age is best at inspiring us to sandbox around in it)
*side note, i am surprised at how much i like emmerich like holy shit what a lovely soft nerd of a man! going to have to play through a few times and romance him and also bellara for sure (romancing lucanis this time round) i find myself shipping my companions with each other more than i normally do too. I just want them to be happy! I wish they'd let us have polyamory, like i could see little polycules in this squad so easily. i need to give bellara hugs and lucanis head pats. taash deserves head pats too, but my rook will need a ladder.
**i am going to cry if they do with the griffons what i think they're doing with the griffons. like straight up, feeling like it was a cursed wish to have them now T.T *** do we think the caretaker is cole? the character design makes me wonder (like the hat/silhouette is very cole like but maybe not. maybe i just want it to be cole lol) there's def characters i want to see show up that aren't going to and then bioware is like "what about this fan favorite??" and i'm like "eh".
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age spoilers#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age review#review#games#thoughts#text post#long post#my thoughts#rambles#veilguard#veilguard review#the last flight#griffons#bioware please i just want the griffons to be okay#veilguard spoilers#early thoughts#maybe the real dragon age was the fandom we made along the way#solavellan#solas
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Two in the Bush 5
Part 4
Eddie:
Doesn’t take care of his hair
Daddy issues
Hasn’t talked to dad in years
Billy:
Daddy issues
Never worked anywhere longer than a year
Anger issues
Doesn’t talk to sister
“I don’t get how we both have daddy issues but I have to reach out to my old man?”, Eddie groaned.
The two alphas had reconvened a few days later at the bar Billy worked at. It was 11 am, so it was basically empty. Eddie sat at the bar while Billy cleaned some glasses.
“Well, did your old man ever beat you black and blue?”, Billy asked.
“No, just made me help him steal cars”, Eddie answered. “Still a shitty guy though. He’s locked up not too far from here.”
“Then bleeding heart Stevie probably wants you to reconcile with the guy.”
Eddie groaned and dropped his head onto the bar. “He smelled good, didn’t he?”, he said, voice muffled.
“He smelled like mine”, Billy said.
That got Eddie to look up. “He smelled like mine.”
They glared at each other and were at a stalemate for a long moment. Another alpha was trying to move in on their omega. Their pregnant omega.
“What happens when we find out it’s mine?”, Billy asked. “Are you gonna bow out or are we gonna fight about it?”
“I’m not letting Steve go”, Eddie said. “Even if that pup’s not mine. What about you? You really just gonna leave him alone if the pup’s not yours?”
Billy didn’t like entertaining the thought that it might not be his. He wasn’t like, super gone on Steve or anything, but he hadn’t finished having fun with him yet. And there was no reason for an incoming baby to get in the way of that, he thought.
“It’s mine”, was all Billy said.
“Yeah, well, that’s neither here nor there. Steve made it clear. Work on ourselves or be banished from his loins for good. And contacting our estranged families seems like a good place to start.”
Steve had gone about a month without hearing anything from either alpha. Part of him was a little disappointed. But mostly this was what he had expected. It was hard to change and he didn’t think himself or his pup important enough to get them to do so. He didn’t need some half-assed help from some alpha. He had Robin to rub his back through his morning sickness.
He was currently lounging on the couch, feeling his belly. He couldn’t actually tell if he was showing yet or if that was just the crap ton of pasta he’d just eaten. He’s going to believe it’s his baby for now.
“It’s you, me, and Auntie Robin my lil jellybean”, he giggled to himself.
And that was when the doorbell rang. He got up and to his surprise, there was Billy and Steve. They both looked incredibly proud of themselves.
“Boom!”, Eddie held up a polaroid of himself sitting at a table with a man who looked a lot like him on the other side. “I’ve been visiting my dad in prison once a week.”
“And?”, Steve asked.
“He’s been working on his GED, actually”, Eddie said, stuffing the photo into his pocket. “He even apologized when he first saw me. For a lot of stuff.”
“And why are you here?”, Steve pointed the question to Billy.
“I took the photo.” He glared at Eddie when the other man nudged him without a hint of subtlety. “And uh, here”, he took out his own picture. In it, he and a young woman stared at the camera. Well, glowered was more like it. They didn’t look alike at all except for the identical scowls on their faces.
“Is that your stepsister?”, Steve asked.
“Yeah”, Billy said. “I tracked her down and found out she’s not too far from here. And that she’s kinda badass.”
Steve was taken aback. “You two…you’re really working on that list?”
“It’s for the pup”, Billy said.
“And you were right about the stuff on the list”, Eddie said. “I’m glad I gave my dad a chance. Feels better already than just remembering him as some asshole who never cared about me.”
“Max was surprisingly easy to talk to”, Billy admitted. “I thought she’d want nothing to do with me since our childhood, but she was like, almost happy to hear from me.”
Steve snickered. “You both looked miserable though.”
“Because this clown cracked some lame joke trying to get us to smile for the camera”, Billy shoved Eddie, almost knocking the other guy off of Steve’s porch.
Steve didn’t want to get his hopes up that he had two whole men willing to turn their lives around just for him. But his hormones didn’t get the message and tears began to prick his eyes. He sniffed, trying to hold them back and he appreciated neither of them pointing it out.
“Okay”, he nodded. “Okay. Um, do you guys wanna come in? Robin will be back soon and we’re gonna plan the shower.”
The way they clambered inside was like seeing two excited little puppies and Steve had the dawning realization that he didn’t want to lose either of them. But this pup only had one father. And he knew he couldn’t ask the other to hang around and help raise a child that wasn’t his. But for now, as the four of them (five really) sat around the kitchen and figured out the baby shower, he could dream.
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So…Let’s talk.
I am absolutely disgusted, appalled, disappointed, and overall devastated as a hardcore Mandela Catalogue fan. I cannot believe Alex Kister would be doing such horrific actions, especially to his victims.
I absolutely love this series with all of my heart and I have been a HUGE fan of it since around August 2022. I love the lore, the characters and the atmosphere of this series.
When I heard these news on Twitter last night, I was devastated and I wanted to cry so bad because I had thought Alex Kister was an amazing talented person with a golden thumb of kindness and chillness. I began to think to myself, “Why would Alex Kister and every other content creator turn out to be horrible people?”. It’s like this is a fucking trend in every creator of their amazing work.
I am witnessing so many fans quitting their work of the series and many actors such as Ty Osborne departing from his acting work as Adam Murray. And I can definitely understand that.
What even more sucks is that there may be no more Mandela Catalogue. Which means no more Vol. 5 or Vol. 6 or any other extra episodes to dive in the lore…
I vented to my sister about this and she understood everything about this situation and that she had been through this once before (props to you, Ella). As a result, she gave me such helpful advice about this. She told me to continue loving the series just as long as you understand and acknowledge what the creator has done. But don’t focus too much on the creator, focus more on the series.
And to all of you victims that have been through this, I am deeply sorry that that has happened to you. You are loved by the entire world and you are never alone.
That being said, I wanna make a decision. I still love the series with all of my heart and I wanna continue writing the Mandela Catalogue Mirth series on Wattpad and post all of my Mandela Catalogue Mirth chapters here in Tumblr.
But with this situation in mind, this decision is hard to choose. Should I continue writing the book series on Wattpad and post all of my chapters here in Tumblr? Or should I just give up and move on to something else?
I hope you all have a fantastic week.
-EmmaTheMandelaResident
Here’s the link of the entire context of what Alex Kister has done:
#my blogs!#the mandela catalogue#mandela catalogue#i am still currently disappointed by this#idk what to do#wifi sucks ass#why is every content creator doing this#alex kister#tmc
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To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately
#disability#currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it#people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'
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bioware really said "let's release it on halloween... it's so terrible... it's gonna scare the shit out of everyone...the perfect halloween"
#oh da2 zevran face scares the shit out of you? hold my bear... wait till you see how returning characters look like in da4#here get spooked by the most amateurish writing and childish dialogue and disappointing story conclusions and lack of choice import#da critical#my post#my posts#holy shit I watched all the endings and I watched all the romances etc. ... damn the writing is bad#i am not surprised they hyped this up by showing the first 15 minutes because that seemed bad exposition dump but the rest is worse...#wtf were they thinking the story should be the selling point of these games and the role play ... not the fucking action#your choices don't matter...certainly not in the past..and even in the present...all choices essentially lead to the same ending with solas#AND that fucking retcon in the end that everything was actually influenced by big evil bad WTF shut up... this game is not canon to me#wtf are the laser pew-pew shooting sounds by the way lmao during the finale#and wtf do you mean we couldn't import the well of sorrows choice but it still comes up and essentially it's 1 of the 2 options canonised#halloween#2024#october 31#31st of october#current events#da mine#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age 4#da4
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We need to bring back customizing your tumblr theme on desktop.
#tori would be very disappointed in the way we've abandoned custom themes#i began coding my own theme but gave up#i am still happy with my current one though#cynic.txt
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they rejected my application :(
#i mean i knew that they were going to. i literally do not have the degree they want#but sometimes it feels as if people in this field don't take me seriously because im young lol#like they assume that my experience just Does Not Apply because im not in my 40s#its fine. i never told anyone irl i applied for the job so i don't have to worry about that (ty past me) (i almost said it like 10 times)#when the time comes for me to REALLY start job hunting ill start taking rejections more personally but this was a good experience i think#them giving me a rejection at all and not just ghosting me was actually a huge relief tbh#am i supposed to respond to the rejection email? i guess i will?#dont burn your bridges etc#it feels a little weird saying ty for the opportunity when they didn't even interview me#but this whole corporate bullshit is just empty tradition at this point so whatever#anyway the GOOD news is that my really big name reference told my current boss (as a joke but still) that he wanted to steal me from her#he works for the state which would be an INCREDIBLE opportunity if he was in any way serious#so when the time comes ill be casually mentioning to him that im job hunting and we'll see where it goes#literally every conference ive been to people know his name and ask where he is so im hoping he will have enough pull to let a fresh grad in#two different people (both also rather big names in the field) have told me that he thinks really highly of me#and while working with him was a little bit like pulling teeth i don't really have the option to be choosy rn lol#anyways. im disappointed but not surprised#it was a remote position too :( oh well
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In tonight's edition of "why the fuck am I catching a stray bullet", my sister, being at about an 8 out of ten when a 4 would do just fine, lectured our youngest on irresponsibility and rejecting parents help by being snarky (Bailey dude, the kid legit copies your fucking tone) threw one of her typical extremes down; Saying that maybe I just won't parent you at all anymore Mele - look at the adults in this house, our father didn't parent me or my brothers and now two of us have grown up underemployed our whole lives, and also one of the others keeps going to prison. Using what I talked to her about our dad and the phone call from Sunday that way feels like a low, because you're not only slamming Warner's parenting but in a narcissistic, make it about me sorta way, bringing our lives in as some sort of lesson like fucking why?
#Like dude why am I in the other room and getting dragged bc your child refuses to do chores#Why am I constantly being made to feel like I just fucking suck at being alive#Underemployed our whole lives like excuse me?#Why does it always have to be like Im a negative example to throw out there#And she threw Michael under the bus too to make her point and like#Our brother is an addict and he needs help yeah#So lets dredge that up to berate a willful child who you are currently battling with#Like fucking what dude#Ugh#Its just like#Stuff like this reinforces it like no matter what Im always going to be the family disappointment arent I?#Even if Bailey puts that on dads parenting job its still like well WERE screwups and losers#And Im just listening like what the fuck do I have to do with this?#Ugh sorry#Long tags are long#Long post nobody read
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Okay everyone's getting my 911 thoughts even though only @cassiopeiasara cares, because long blocks of text can be hard to read in Tumblr messenger :P
So first of all, Season 4 better not start with a four-part natural disaster storyline! O_O Because S2 had the two-part earthquake story and now S3 just did a THREE PART tsunami story that I was NOT prepared to watch in one sitting because I was just trying to eat some lunch 😭 But then it started and I was stuck watching until it was finished. This can't continue to be a trend with the show! I don't have time to watch this many episodes in one go!
On the one hand, I'm really enjoying the show branching out into the rest of the cast and giving more backstory eps/storylines to the rest of the team. But on the other hand, I really miss Athena being the true main character like she was in S1* :( Hope she gets some bigger storylines again soon!
And finally, I have fallen completely head over heels in love with Maddie/Chimney. The second they interacted, I was like OH! Yeah, I'm here for this. I'm here for ALLLLLL of this 😍 They're not a surprise to me because I knew what all the canon ships were (and the main fanon slash ship). But I am surprised at how immediately and how hard I have fallen for them. THEY ARE JUST SO CUTE!!!!!! 💗
(*technically, I think S1 was split between Athena and Abby as the main characters, but my point still stands)
#Even if I am thoroughly enjoying (or at least engrossed) in the current storyline I am still 10% disappointed anytime Athena isn't on screen#Unless that current storyline is Maddie/Chimney. Then I accept the tradeoff lol#OH!!! And also there were two firefighters in the flashback eps that istg looked so generic 'in shape white dude with brownish hair'#that I wouldn't be able to pick them out of a line up :S#Like one was saved by Chimney and one was fired by Bobby#But can I tell them apart or pick them out in a crowd? Uh......... unlikely lol
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sometimes I'll remember that official marvel/DC comics have done werewolf 'AU' stories and I become less embarrassed of Abomination
#I think I'm having another art slump. I mean technically it hasnt been very long but for a few days ive just been..#disappointed with my skill and I'm considering taking a break from posting art until I get it how I want it#I like my style dont get me wrong but it feels super underdeveloped to me right now#of course it wont look exactly how i imagine it. but I'm thinking it could look close to it if I take some time to really work on it yknow#+ I won't hold myself to that standard exactly because it would only end up stressing me out. I still want drawing to be *fun*#but I'd also like to be satisfied with what's produced#if I go through w/ said break I may still post the things I *do* like. The decision is pending though. I still like posting a lot lmao#<- tags that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual post#anyway. I'm saying all this under this text in particular because I've been wanting to draw more Abomination#but am currently shackled by my current confidence. yep. thats what the tags were leading to
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am also having a Mild Crisis over whether i should speed up the enemies-to-lovers aspect of this fic because fandom (in general) is used to "they bicker vaguely for three chapters and are clearly In Love by part 4 and then the next 46 chapters are a series of miscommunications" and that's not what my plan is so umm. i think i might just piss the readers off if it doesn't get nicer soon? but then the one weird person other than me who wants to read this version of events will be DEPRIVED if i do that won't they? so. oh no, is this how people feel when writing millon-word rival florist AUs? do they feel THE PRESSURE? do they fret and fuss and panic?
#i hope there's not a sylki rival florist AU i just picked an example i'm not aiming at a specific fic or author or anything#rival knitters? rival librarians?#something cosy is my point. pick one that doesn't exist and use that as my example here okay?#i don't know what the current sylki classics are cos i erm stopped looking in the tag much cos 88% just wasn't stuff i was interested in#i assume it's GOOD stuff in there but it's just not summaries or tag combos i am likely to click on for any pairing really#WHICH IS FINE OBVIOUSLY#the advantage of oneshots is nobody expects anything from it. it's already done. they can't change anything in it. it is OVER.#(some people will still optimistically subscribe to it but you do you etc)#all joys and all disappointments have already happened you don't live in a state of cliffhanger for any length of time#fic related
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comic concept from popular fandom that loads of people are interested in: this does not bring joy
comic concept from far less popular fandom that WAY fewer people are interested in: this one brings joy?????
why, brain. every time.
#hyperfixations are a bitch#but tbh it has done my brain SO. Much. Good. To get out of the nar*to fandom lmaoooooooo#peace and love to all my friends there - I am still on the peripheries but the sheer amount of drahma and arguing over ridiculous shit#just made me feel like I was courting constant burnout#along with being a relatively 'popular blog' in that fandom it was just wayyyyy too much with school + work + disability#and I felt guilty that I couldn't keep up with everyone's expectations and wants for me#which I know was entirely in my head!! I know people weren't disappointed when I couldn't create constantly#but burnout + brain issues is a bitch#anyway I love u narto show and I love u vast majority of the narto fandom <3 I may dip toes back in one day#In other words: I am happy and I am surviving as much as a disabled bitch can#I just wish I could guide my hyperfixations to where they'd be most popular!#still popularity was a curse on my mental health so my current b*tjokes obsession is truly a blessing#rambles#nobody take this personally challenge; I'm literally just spitballing about my Feelings not attacking ur fandom xxx
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head in my hands. i promise i am not a scary unhinged person fdsgjkl, and none of my silly happy posting is fake, i am just very good at repressing and partitioning things. i can be having the worst day of my life and still enjoy jokes and be genuinely having a good time with my silly little characters and stories i come up with. this brain LOVES to section off shit that is genuinely unbearable (because how else do you live with that? if not putting it in a place where you cannot feel it?) so that i can cope and find joy in life still fsdjkl i simply love having a good time too much to ever make it up
#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#i want to make friends and be a pleasant person to be around so badly but fhdsjkl then . this household hurts me as it is wont to do#and i have a small breakdown here bc it all feels so awful and i feel like if i keep it locked inside and hidden i will actually CrackTM#and then i feel like that is . well. understandably! a lot! for other ppl to see#and it is very upsetting and scary and awful to read. i know. im so well aware fjdskl#but also augh. augh augh augh. i try very hard to not post abt things as much as i humanly can avoid doing so#but i am very silly and fuck up my own rules for myself when i have a particularly bad experience w mother o' mine#i am worried that if i say anything to the effect of ''life is terrible and i am straight up not having a good time''#then it makes all my other posting look disingenuous or smth. i am literally just posting what is on my brain currently when i post stuff#and oftentimes my brain is like... a silly little swirl-patterned rubber bouncy ball with a happy face on it HDSGJKL#that is like... a lot of my whole deal as a part of the brain fsdfjkl#even with all the grief and upset i can still have a good time bc we stay silly !!!! by god we stay silly through it all !!!#i will shrug my shoulders and say ''ah well what can ya do!'' after getting screamed at or told i'm a disappointment to the family lmfao#because honestly... what can you do dsfkl it is what it is and theres rly nothing i can do about this all#anyways i am talking toooooo much sorry fdsjgkl once again i will delete all this later so i dont upset ppl too much dsjkl augh augh sorry
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