#i am starting to get the feeling my interpretation of house of leaves is not the traditional one

[heedthesirenscall]

[Image 1 ID: A seven striped flag, its colors going as follows, ashen black, deep dark indigo, deep dark purple, purple, dark red, deep dark red, ashen black. There is a shadow around most of the flag, turning the stripes more a darker hue, except for a spotlight in the center, which contains an altered ashen black allion symbol. The circle typically in the center of the symbol has changed to a Fibonacci spiral, and there are various lines throughout the six petals.]

[Image 2 ID: The same flag but without the shadow.]

[Image 3 ID: The same flag but without the shadow nor the symbol.]

Ephamousallion:

An allion term related to House of Leaves' use of love as consumption.

@radiomogai

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though

[squidthusiast]

Ok, but why do I imagine Eight being the unofficial child of Pearl x Marina?

Because I imagine Eight was minding their business and all of a sudden, Pearl would slam the paper down and said “You’re adopted now”

Basically OTH at the start of their world tour haha, I love that they took Eight with them.

I have more detailed thoughts under the cut for those interested in my ramblings, analysis and interpretations of the characters.

Disclaimer: This is my own take on it, don’t let it ruin your fun!

I personally don’t really subscribe to the fandom’s ‘pearlina moms’ headcanon.

On the one hand, I am an absolute sucker for the ‘found family’ trope, and I definitely think Agent 8 and OTH fit in it!

On the other hand, I think people immediately put Pearl and Marina into the ‘parenthood’ box, a little too eagerly. Not saying this specific ask is that, btw, it just reminded me of some instances i’ve seen.

I personally think that the relationship between OTH and Agent 8 is a little more nuanced & sibling-esque, for the following reasons:

1. Within canon, we often see 8 being referred to as a friend by both Pearl and Marina.

Pearl does it more explicitly (see that one interview at her house), whereas with Marina it’s more insinuated (ex. In the Side Order dev diaries, she starts calling Agent 8 as ‘Eight’, which is stated to be a name used by their friends).

Pearl seems to be an accidental-duck-parent of sorts who haphazardly collects octoling teenagers & young musical talent. It goes in line with her whole mentor-esque leader personality, and i’m sure these disoriented teens find relief in an idol who seemingly knows what she’s doing (she really doesn’t).

However she doesn’t act in a parental manner. More-so like your estranged gay cousin who hit it big in another country and is down to show your queer little butt the ropes.

Marina on the other hand seems to have a more empathetic approach with Agent 8 (opposite to Pearl’s brashness). Marina clearly connects with Agent 8 through their shared experience as defected octoling soldiers, and probably sees her younger self in them. She’s already caring as it is, but this is accentuated during octo expansion given the circumstances.

I feel however that, unlike Pearl, Marina has a bit of a harder time actually forming a bond with Eight at the beginning. Their similarities (seemingly) end at their shared experience, and probably leaves Marina awkwardly wondering how to approach them further. What we can assume though is that they become closer friends during OTH’s world tour, given the events described in the Memverse Dev Diaries.

Meeting Eight during difficult circumstances (OE) and helping them get out creates a sense of camaraderie between them, which probably devolves into genuine care, established friendship and a strong bond amongst the three overtime.

2. Pearl and Marina are very career-centric both in Splat 2 and 3.

It is reasonable that the two young idols, who see their fame and musical recognition rise spectacularly & fast, are not particularly interested in settling down at this point in their lives.

Now entering her late 20s, Pearl is most definitely still interested in keeping the ball rolling with Off the Hook’s international success. Her character often points towards restlessness, freedom and discovery. There has definitely been character development in regards to her maturity in Splatoon 3, but these aforementioned traits are still ever present in her demeanour & decision-making.

Marina on the other hand can be seen slowly blossoming from a supporting character to being her own person. She definitely develops more self-confidence by Splatoon 3, but is still naturally bashful. It’s clear that she is allowing herself to explore & open up to new things for her own sake. She remains a caring and somewhat nurturing individual, but she is at a stage where she’s learning to live for herself and not for others.

Parenthood (and all the responsibilities and sacrifices it entails) at this moment of their lives would probably freak Pearl out, and stunt Marina’s personal growth.

3. The age gaps between OTH and Agent 8 are too close for it to create a parent/kid bond.

This makes their relationship a little hazy in regards to roles; 8 is still young enough that they may seek out rolemodels and mentors (still relatively influenceable), but they’re also nearing their 20s. By this point they are fairly self sufficient, have a sense of their personal values & identity, and they are relatively responsible & mature.

Pearl and Marina are 8’s seniors by approximately 4-6 years. However, in Splatoon 2 they’re entering their early 20s and their career has just begun to take off.

They are both still relatively youngsters, albeit older & more mature(? glancing at Pearl) youngsters than 8. This places them in a position where they can guide 8 and offer certain support and resources, but lack the maturity and experience of a full-fledged adult. This would approximate their relationship closer to that of siblings in a family setting.

Pearl & Marina are also less likely to feel a duty towards Eight as an adult would with a child. Instead, the latter’s circumstances are more likely to incite feelings of rapport and compassion as a fellow young inkfish.

Now, with all of this said, I will acknowledge that friendship/found family is MUCH more nuanced than a strict binary.

From personal experience in my last years of college, I did find myself caring for my fellow freshmen as though they were my kids, in certain ways. Hell, I called them my kids.

I acted as a proud parent whenever some of them achieved something, attempted to pass down my knowledge to them, and was protective of them to a certain extent.

They also annoyed me sometimes, like younger people do haha. And i’m sure I annoyed them too!

So I wouldn’t put it past OTH to call Eight their kid and have this mentor/parent-esque rapport with them in certain circumstances.

This is all based both on canon & my own interpretations of it, but still closely aligned to what has been shown in-game.

So if you have a different interpretation of Agent 8 and OTH, that’s great! I love to see people’s personal headcanons. Ultimately, Agent 8 is meant to be somewhat of a blank slate for the players to mold, with some hinted-at personality traits of their own.

As long as you have fun with these characters, that’s all that matters. This is just my personal opinion on their relationship in-game.

If you read all of this, you deserve the biggest golden star for listening to my incessant yapping 🤲⭐️

Feel free to bother me about this or other opinions you may have in my inbox, just be kind please!

[aquickstart]

i need to talk to you guys about the colors of the Cattons (Felix specifically) and Oliver. the clothes they are wearing are telling the story of Oliver taking over and leaving his mark throughout the whole movie, with Oliver's failures and successes and a final triumph. holy shit. get in. this is long and ends in ancient greek culture trivia. let;s talk please.

disclaimer: am starting from Oliver's arrival at Saltburn. before that the outfits are also very intentional, but it's a lot more complicated and it has been discussed before. the world distorts once we are at Saltburn and the story gets truly gothic there, and every detail—including color!—is enhanced in meaning. also, special thanks to @kivlaro for doing this with me, the thoughts on this specifically and the Saltburn craze on the whole. pics and detailed analysis under the cut!

let's start from the beginning. here is Oliver at the door. simple, blue shirt.

the shirt is sort of its own character. logically it makes sense as Oliver's suitcase is small and he spends the whole summer there, of course he'll rewear stuff a bunch. but it is blue.

in contrast to Felix, in yellow. yellow is one of Felix's colors (he is the sun, which i've talked about here btw, so this makes sense).

same to Pamela, in blue. first time we see her, she is next to Elspeth, wearing the color that is Oliver's, taking the place that he takes right away, in this very scene. the only other time she is physically present on screen is at dinner, in black and white, and black and white are a blank slate. she is stripped of color and gone very fast.

a bit of crucial data for later: Oliver, in blue, and Felix in pink. pink is very important on Felix. this is their first morning together. they are separate and opposite, solid, contained.

where it starts to get good is the morning after the vampire strike.

Venetia is a Felix extension, just as everyone in the house is to Oliver. i will eventually rant about Saltburn as a whole entity and Cattons as aspects of one self, and Oliver as psychosis, but not here. so, yes, Venetia is a pink riot, a euphoria of self-containment because Oliver gave her a piece of something she felt she lacked to feel whole (validation, attention, care), not a piece of blue, of himself. Oliver is expectedly solid blue. Felix is incredibly interesting and something i didn't pay much attention to at first: predominantly blue, incredibly upset at Oliver for ditching him, with a tile of bright red (on the left! close to heart! over-reaching here but like still!), which still tracks. i mean, really, if i had so much foreign color bleed into me and then abandoned, i'd be pissed, too. nice little touch is sir James' beloved hydrangeas, behind Felix, also pink, very pink, always pink; i don't think i've seen them blue in the movie, although the sort exists.

Farleigh. sweet baby Farleigh i love you. I'm not dead-set on my interpretation of this specifically but i think multiple things are happening with Oliver and Farleigh here. like Rent, which is their song, blue is their color of outsiders and the triers to fit in. Farleigh points out the favoritism and preference of Oliver to him and his mother here, so it may also be appropriation of color to draw attention to Farleigh as almost (but never quite) Oliver. it may also be as simple as that Farleigh, as much as he denies and resists, still retains Oliver's influence, which bleeds into him very slowly.

a nice little moment of Felix wearing blue swim shorts with just tiny specks of a pink pattern. Oliver's shorts also have a bit of pink, but less than Felix's. Oliver is pretty good at remaining unaffected and uninfluenced overall.

and we're getting to where it all clicked and started for me. the Quick family house, the failed reconciliation, and the immediate aftermath. oh it's so good.

on the drive there, Oliver is blue, Felix has a pink polo shirt with a solid blue pullover over it. this is the most blue Felix has ever been (this is the most blue he will ever be!), this is trust. however shaky and toxic it is, Felix loves Oliver and accepts him into his world. as a side note, Oliver's parents are also very blue, mom more so than dad. nice!

and then it crashes. immediately after, it's the evening of the same day, but Felix is not wearing the blue pullover anymore. this is very, very important. this is rejection. it's the end for Oliver in Felix's world and with his trust. Felix, again, in solid pink, Oliver in solid blue. Felix successfully rips him out with the roots and everything. ouch.

daddy. sorry. is that highlighter? sweat? fuck. let me- daddy. SORRY

no i actually have a point about this.

the clothes are replaced by the lights, but we roll with it. Oliver basks in the blue-green light, while Felix is on the other side, in pink and purple and red. sure, blue shines through, and Oliver also walks through the slashes of pink, but it is mostly pretty separate, Oliver watching Felix's pink in his own blue from a distance.

the morning after palette is deep. the wine color that is so prominent in these scenes is fascinating to me. if i were to over-reach again i'd say it's the Oliver in Felix's attributes and in his place that requires the robe to be so dark, not usual definite pink, because deep blue has leaked into the color itself, mixed with it, made itself integral to the shade. but it's also just a nice color, and it is pink in its core. the flowers (with sir James in the background) i think are also this specific shade for the same reason. you look at what remains of Felix everywhere here, and it is his color.

and finally oh the lunch scene. the last supper. the judgement day. the who's afraid of virginia woolf madness.

i think we've established what's up with Oliver, but i also think it's important that he is his own color at lunch but in Felix's pink/wine right before and after. lunch is where he attacks, whereas before and after is where he grieves and enjoys. Farleigh is almost completely blue save for a strip of the same deep pink, and he is soon cast out, and Venetia is striped, blue and pink/salmon, affected deeply by Oliver yet still clinging on to the Catton pink with grief, probably, but also love for Felix.

and after all this, Oliver leaves himself.

no, like, actually, literally himself. sure, he'd got a taste of the Cattons and the pink, but he is a monolith, a solid blue when he leaves Saltburn. he has not been affected by the house, he has taken what he wanted but stayed true and whole. what a power move, honestly.

but it's an even bigger deal that 16 years later, Elspeth runs into Oliver wearing all white and a blue scarf. oh, she's not let this go, alright; it was a long time ago, "but not to me," she says. What Oliver has been up to in that time is a great question, without a doubt he's been keeping tabs on the remaining family as much as he could; but Elspeth has never moved on, either. She has held on to Oliver's blue and the pink is not important at all now. Oliver, of course, is invariably, unwaveringly blue. welcome back to his show.

and welcome back to his triumph.

the only color (except for, again, white and black) we see him wear in the flashback about Saltburn inheritance is the all-too familiar deep pink. wine. bright pink mixed with deep blue.

now i will take a liberty and step back, over-reach, over-interpret and go insane. here's a fun bit on ancient greek culture trivia for you.

this is an interesting and complicated historiographical and linguistic debate that i will not even attempt to relay here, but the essence of it is this: for us, the sea is conventionally deep blue. historically, one of the most prominent civilizations considered "deep wine" to be the descriptor for it (not necessarily the color but the property. highly rec to look this up it's so fascinating). what it gives me here is that Oliver has changed color, but not his self. he has integrated, mixed, but persisted, completely winning over, triumphing. long live the king!

in conclusion, i would just like to propose "colors" by halsey as the next cattonquick anthem. thank you for your attention, please let me know your thoughts. yours, yes, you. cheers. god. peace out

[st0ryf1lms]

home, that's a weird word ➳ ken sato

pairing: ken sato x reader

word count: 1.5k

genre/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, undertones of xenophobia, basically how i interpreted the last thing kenji said to ami on their first interview, grammatical errors (most likely), no beta we die like men, personal assistant!reader

synopsis: the word "home" always left a weird taste in kenji's tongue when he said it.

a/n: AAAAAAAA I'VE FINALLY WRITTEN A THOUSAND WORD FIC AFTER 2 YEARS IM SO HAPPY!!! and i'm really hoping u guys like this bc i really am so proud of this sooo enjoyyy!!

It had been a long day, as far as Kenji is concerned. Way too long for his liking. All the cameras and microphones pointed at his direction, all those flashing lights-- a man could only take a few for so long, and Kenji has had enough of his share for the day. As he gets off his bike, all he can think of is the comfort of his own bed, how his pillow would feel against his head and how the duvets would feel covering his skin.

He opened the door to his house, surprised to see you sitting on the couch with the living room lights turned off. Your back was facing him, and with your laptop's glaring LED screen being the only source of light in the room, all he could see was your crouched silhouette.

"Already settling down, huh, Y/N?" He spoke, breaking the silence in the room. "Oh, Mr. Sato, you're home," you say unfazed, as if the only thing that was powering you right now was your laptop's battery. "Just wanted to stay for a while to catch you so I can brief you for your schedule tomorrow." You stated, closing your laptop and standing up to turn on the lights on the dim setting. Kenji sighed and closed his eyes as he plopped down on the couch in front of you, serving as a signal for you to start.

"Okay, so, first thing in the morning, Mr. Sato, you have baseball practice which Coach Shimura insists you attend, an interview scheduled…" Your voice becomes buzzing in his head as he looks out the window, a view overlooking the city. The sound of laughter and joy drifting out from the street below, making him feel very alone in this somewhat new town. "…Sato. Mr. Sato. Are you even listening to a word I say?" You say exasperatedly, not sure if your asshat of a boss actually understands that you came from a 12-hour flight, too, and want nothing to be in the comfort of a nice and comfortable bed. You follow where his gaze is at, looking out the window where the busy streets of Tokyo are hustling and bustling as the nightlife slowly rises. You look back at your boss, sporting a solemn yet longing look on his face- earning a tilt of confusion from your head.

"Can I ask you a question, Y/N? Off the record, please." He asks, eyes remaining trained on the window. "Have you ever felt like you've never belonged? Like, no matter where you go, no matter who you are, you'll never find yourself home?" He finally looks at you, noticing your once tense figure now replaced with a relaxed yet calculating stance, figuring out what to say to him. The silence feels like forever as he awaits an answer from you, Kenji letting out a sigh as he hangs his head down low.

"Ever since I had moved to LA, I lost all sense of the word 'home.' Hah, even saying it right now leaves a weird taste in my tongue. All those kids back there, they always told me to 'go back home,' and when I did go back to the house where my mom and I lived, she'd always tell me that we were right at home. Now that I'm actually back in my 'homeland', it feels so weird to even call it that now." He blurted out, his previously relaxed figure on the couch is now one of a crouched one, his head still glued facing down on the floor. "In LA, I felt too Japanese to fit in. The culture shock hitting me every single time I try to do something I was used to. Now, here in Japan, I feel too American now to even call myself a local. Even speaking in my own tongue feels weird to my mouth and my throat."

He finally looked up at you and saw a blank yet somehow shocked expression adorning your face. His eyes slightly widened and his breath hitched in his throat as he quickly realized the gravity of his words and who he was speaking to about a sensitive topic. You, on the other hand, was internally slack-jawed. What the helllll, is this really happening???? You rhetorically think to yourself as your boss, The Ken Sato, the egotistical baseball superstar, literally just spilled his guts in front of you, his personal assistant whom he keeps at an arm's length.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" he stuttered as he racked his brain, trying to make up an excuse for what he said. You still stayed silent and eerily still. "A–are you still there? Hello? Earth to Y/N?" He asked, cautiously waving a hand.

"Yes," you cleared your throat, "yes, Kenji." You say, his contorted face relaxing as he hears his name slip your mouth. You clear your throat once again before starting.

"You know, if I may, I'd like to believe that home is a construct you make and that a place doesn't really define it. Sure, in kindergarten, we get taught that the definition of home is a place where you live in but as we get older, don't some things actually change? And I'd like to say that the word 'home' is one of those things. As a child, we would say home is where our parents live. As teenagers, we'd say home is with our friends as we laugh and joke with them on various different occasions of our lives at school. As adults, I believe we can be left to define 'home' what we fit it deem to our liking. After all, home is where the heart is, am I right?" You ramble on, pacing around the living room as you animatedly explain with your hands as Kenji follows your every move.

Realizing your mouth once again moved with a mind of its own, you straightened up and cleared your throat. "Ahem, sir. Right, well, I better get going. Long day tomorrow." You nervously chuckled, refusing to look your boss whose privacy you've seem to have invaded as you spoke without filter. You tentatively grab your things and slowly head to the front door, feeling your boss' eyes on you follow your every move as if saying you've overstayed your welcome.

As Kenji trains your every movement, he realizes what you're about to do and stands up abruptly from his place in the couch.

"Y/N, wait."

Your hand hovers above the door handle, eyes closed as you brace for the impact of what your boss is about to say. Please don't fire me, please don't fire me, please do-

"Do you mind if you stay the night?" He says and your head snaps back to look at him, as if he'd grown another head.

I- I mean, not like that, b- but, well… Well, you know what I mean." He sheepishly clarifies, his hand bringing up to scratch the nape of his neck. The silence is awkward and deafening, and he was about to open his mouth to take back what he said but you beat him to it.

"Sure. I'll stay the night, Mr. Sato." You face him with a soft smile.

"Please, Y/N, Kenji's fine."

He leads you to the spare bedroom he has in the house and asks Mina to deliver a fresh set of clothes where you'll stay.

"I just want to say thank you, Y/N. I know I don’t say it enough and I'm sorry for that. I appreciate everything you do." He sincerely told you, looking into your eyes with nothing but pure admiration and gratefulness. "It's all in the job, sir." You say before realizing, wincing as the honorific accidentally leaves your mouth. You open the bedroom door before saying,

"Good night, Kenji."

"Good night, Y/N."

BONUS:

Kenji wakes up to the noise of cooking downstairs, with a pair of voices talking back and forth. He rubs his eyes free of sleep and lifts the duvets off of him, getting up from his bed and out of his room.

The voices become clearer as he goes down the stairs on the way to the kitchen, where he makes out your voice and Mina's, seeming to be guiding you as you follow a recipe she reads out. "Y/N, he's awake." Mina alerts you as you turn to face him.

"Oh, good morning, Mr. Sato. I hope you don’t mind, Mina told me you barely use the kitchen anyway." You nervously chuckle as you focus your attention back on the stove. "Please, Y/N, what did I tell you?" He visibly cranks up at the mention of his last name early in the morning.

"Right, Kenji, I mean." You quickly recall, still stirring the pot. "That smells amazing, what's that?" He says as he walks over you, looking over your shoulder.

"I know it isn't really for breakfast but Mina told me how it was your favorite, so I made curry. Or, at least, attempted to make it." You explain cautiously, slowly looking over to your boss who's currently sporting a look of surprise.

"M-may I?" He gestures to the spoon. You nod and hand it to him, scooting over to give him a taste. His eyes close and you start to feel anxious, building up an excuse in your head to tell him.

"Tastes just like home."

[lostbookmark]

MDNI 🔞

Main Masterlist here

Summary: After the death of your brother and his wife, you find yourself raising your nephew. How do you help a 13 year old heal? How do you help yourself heal? You're not sure, but maybe a basketball coach can help.  

Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, 

Warnings: Death Of Parents / Brother/ Family, Car Accident (Cause),  Swearing, Explicit Sex, Arguments, Physical Fighting, Past Abusive Relationship, Talks Of Domestic Violence, 

A/N: Super small teaser of my next story.

Ten minutes late. A client had you on the phone forever, and now you're ten minutes late to Nicky's practice. Your heels click and clack down the hallway of the middle school as you hurry to the gym doors in your pencil skirt, swearing to yourself under your breath. You were more annoyed that you didn't have enough time to run and change your clothes more than anything. Now, you'll get to sit through this practice with a sore ass and tight skirt that cuts slightly into your stomach. As you open the gymnasium door and step through the threshold,  you can see all eyes turn to look at you. Shit! 

“Sorry,” you say quickly and make your way to the bleachers. 

The first thing you notice when you climb a couple of stairs is the horrid group of moms  shaking their heads at you.  You roll your eyes at them and sit down, focusing your attention on the court. That is when you notice blondie… Coach Min also gave you a look that you can't quite interpret, but you think he is annoyed. You swallow hard and sit up a bit straighter. He turns to watch the boys, and you slump back down some. This is stupid. You feel like you're in trouble with your parents and waiting for them to scold you because they had caught you sneaking back into the house when you were supposed to be grounded. Ridiculous.

You passed your time ignoring everyone around you playing on your phone while occasionally looking up to check on Nicky. You sigh with relief as both coaches finally blow their whistles, signaling the end of practice. Standing up, you stretch your back and make your way down to the floor to wait for Nicky to finish his team huddle. The other parents make their down as well, all gathering further down than you in a group talking amongst themselves.The boys finish their huddle and disperse, finding their adult to finally leave. You smile at your nephew when he makes his way over to you. 

“You ready?” You ask as he walks over to the bleachers and grabs his duffle. 

"Let's go,” he said, wiping the sweat from his face on a towel. 

“Hold it,” Coach Min's deep voice said. You turn to look at him and watch as he approaches you. “Good job today, Nicky. Could you give your mom and I a minute alone?”  You and Nicky look at each other. Neither one of you jumps to correct Coach Min. Nicky nods his head and runs to stand out in the hallway to wait for you. You give a loud sigh and look at the handsome man in front of you. He has a clipboard in his hand, which he flips a couple of pages before looking back at you. “Y/N, is it? You were late.”

“Yup,” you say, giving him a blank stare. 

“All players need a guardian here,” he informs you. 

“And….here I am,” you say.

“You were late,” he says again. 

“Again….yup,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. 

“You're going to be my problem parent, aren't you, Y/N? I always have at least one every year. Did you at least read our handbook?” He asks, and you look away guiltily, giving you away easily. “Of course not. You weren't even paying attention that first day of practice.” 

“Listen, I'll read your little handbook and be on time from now on. Am I free to go, coach?” You ask sarcastically.

You watch as he presses his tongue to the side of his cheek, nodding to his head, agreeing that you can go. Without another word, you turn and leave, meeting Nicky in the hallway. When the young boy sees you, he starts to laugh at you, and you send a mock glare his way. 

“Your coach is a dick,” you tell him as the two of you make your way out of the building.

“Awww, you said a bad word. You said dick,” Nicky says, laughing even more. 

Yup, laugh it up, little boy. Laugh it up. 

[queersolaris]

I watched Flow (2024) a few days ago and I have been itching to get my thoughts out in some kind of way!! So don’t mind me gushing/ psychoanalysis this absolutely amazing movie—

This post will probably be all over the place cause I am still processing everything; forgive the jumbling thoughts

I think this movie had so many angles to see it from~ I totally got the found family (MY BRAND) and climate change perspectives buuuut what got me tearing up was interpreting it as parts of a person processing trauma

“oh this feels like it should be a video game” was actually my first thought

From the silence, style, hell even the boat steering felt like a game mechanic-- it kept coming to mind that this was similar to games like Brothers: a tale of two sons or When the past was around (kinda)?

It seemed obvious that there is trauma going on; how could there not be with an event like that? The theme that got me thinking it was more so about parts was 'reflection'

Obviously it starts and ends with a scene of the cat looking at itself in the water; but there was also our lemur friend being obsessed with their reflection in the mirror. From the angle of it being about parts dealing with trauma here is my dump of thoughts— I know its not that deep but I JUST GOTTA GET THIS OUTTA ME

The stags running represents the trauma event itself and the water felt like the overwhelming feelings that come afterwards-- something you can’t control it’s depth and suffocated by as it keeps rising no matter how much you try to escape/ignore it

The cat being in a house that is already run down feels like it’s clinging onto anything that is familiar but the feelings won’t let the cat survive— feelings will create the need for change and that’s is unavoidable (especially with trauma) The run down house could also have represented the way the cat has settled in poor conditions with time, old memories from a simpler time, and that can lead to isolation

Cat = representing resilience/self sustainability through situations which is why it is the main POV; it can lead to overwhelm and helplessness when isolated but it is the adaptability that is needed to progress (throughout the movie or trauma)-- the statues at the house could also be seen as almost versions of that; moments that it was bigger, smaller, more mobile but always is the same form

Dog = it was interesting that this character was introduced at the start but not along the journey the whole time right? I thought they were a representation of surviving through socializing— there is childishness and innocence but it is mainly always seen with others or serving others

Maybe the dog even could represent a child self ; something always willing to trusts others and help selflessly They do jump in to protect but in a way that is not rejecting

Capybara = survival by freezing or floating thru the situation— which is why we get to see them already on the boat, their focus is to nurture itself for the next day… taking it one day at a time and doing what it could but not worrying too much about the things it can’t help

Bird = the opposite of our doggy friend— we meet it as the one of the first to be around others of its kind but there is a self sacrificing nature to it. Giving its food to fighting for the cats safety... it has a protective role; however in a way that reject risks of the groups survival/comfort (with the pack of dogs) yet when that over protectiveness leaves… the situation ends soon after

I wondered before the bird disappeared if it was meant to be a older self— still juxtaposed to the dog— something with more trust issues because of experience, it looks after the other parts, even steers the others in the right direction... the connection to the cat also felt right ya know?? The parts of you that are willing to adapt usually come out the most in adulthood or when you need to be your more 'mature' self

There is also the concept of the flight response it could represent; which is why they did not want to be around the pack of dogs— almost showing it wanting to run/keep away from others

It disappearing felt like maybe there was something else— like this is meant to represent passing on a part or habit that kept healing at bay but was necessary to move through the trauma

Lemur = obsessed with material and it’s own reflection— it seems to be the part that tries to survive with status and the approval of others; of course being self destructive…

Maybe representing rumination, clinging onto things that are apart of the familiarity (which is why the movie kept the ball from the house as a reoccurring object), and even masking since the mirror was something that gave it company later before realizing it wasn’t the kind of company it wanted

The foundations crumble suddenly, the overflow of emotions (water) starts to sink in; leaving things different and the same (it seems like the same forest/area). We see the stags again running like before-- which almost indicates that something similar could happen. Then the cat waits for it all to happen again; the worst. When nothing does it runs after them almost looking for an answer, I think we've all been there; trying to figure out why our responses vary or what is was about us that has changed from before that makes things easier. That's when the cat gets to see our final part:

Whale = this thing made me cry for sure because throughout the story it felt like this represented old coping mechanisms (like from childhood); something that kept you a float or going no matter how dire things became—when rock bottom would hit in the middle of floating/navigating so many feelings-- it ensured survival. Even when the cat finally learned to fish for itself (which now i wonder was meant to be like naming emotions or processing things bit by bit) the whale shows up once more almost to be a reminder that it was still around even when not fully needed. At the end when foundations crumbled, the whale is no longer able to survive… and the cat is able to thank it for its help.

The water was there the whole movie but there was little times when the cat seemed to look at it's reflection. When it did it again at the end of the movie but with whole group being together-- I was obviously crying because dammit undertale you’re right despite everything it is still you

OH about the video game thought— looking at this from the lens of a trauma response; it did make more sense to be told as a movie; I mean with a game I can pause… I can take myself out of their experience and feel in control with a situation that is meant to not let us feel any

So being a movie instead is actually perfect

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Why do some of us not *hate* Tamlin?

I am pro-tamlin, not pro feylin. I would prefer Tamlin to never have to deal with the NC ever again. If SJM never types his name out again I will be happy.

Tw: light mentions to DV, SA, and Divorce.

Feyre is written in a way that makes it feel like she is intentionally manipulating us against Tamlin to justify her leaving him the way she did, and to put Rhysand up on a pedestal.

The abrupt and sloppy way SJM handled Tamlins' character assassination induced my fight or flight. Let me explain:

My parents divorced when I was 4, and I had to learn, quickly, how to interpret people's true intentions and empathize with where they are coming from vs just blindly listening to someones account of what happened. My father got custody of us and would use the same elements against my mom that Feyre uses against Tamlin. I HAVE to read between the lines or I would fall to the intentional manipulation.

"She left me so she probably cheated" "he trapped me in the house" "she has a new boyfriend so she doesn't care about you anymore" "he hit me [when I was actively TRYING to get him to hit me to sway public opinion of him]"

Everytime Feyre left for the NC, she did so kicking and screaming. Every indication Tamlin could see was that she did NOT want to go with Rhys, until he gets a letter from her saying to not come looking for her that she doesn't want to be with him. Tamlin didn't know she could read or write. Had that been my love I would assume it was a ransom note too, written by someone else. Had she actually spent 1 hr winnowing to Tamlin, tell him face to face, then winnow back (with an escort) he MIGHT have gotten the hint.

A tithe was a weird thing to use to show how cruel Tamlin is, considering how 2/3 of the night court live in constant fear, children's bones are broken for misbehaving, the CoN are trapped there. SJM really showed us that she has no political knowledge what so ever. I barely started ACOFAS and when Feyres talking about the unnatural sum of her money, my first thought is "You don't amass that level of wealth without oppressing someone." Lucien said that Tamlin would be expected to hunt down those not able to pay the tithe, but when we get to Tamlins actual actions he just said "get it together in 3 days or pay double next time". In my initial reading, I interpreted it as another mask (like how Rhysand acts). Tamlin does this due to tradition, he is expected to act a certain way, but *I felt* he had no intention of acting out what he said. It was just a line he was expected to say to send the wraith away without others expecting the same.

Feyre and Tamlin were not right for eachother because they were not eachothers mates. People can exist fine separately, and be incredibly toxic together. From page 1 we see Feyres inherent inability to empathize with anyone, she has it bad, she has to hunt, therefore her sisters don't do anything. But she also can't cook, so who was preparing the meat she brought home? It gave me "housework isn't real work" vibes. Feyre also doesn't communicate very well, which would explain why a literal mind reader was able to help her better than Tamlin was. I saw Tamlin trying but not being able to help her because he couldn't read her mind.

Feyre didn't want to be trapped in a manor for a few hours while she was displaying manic behavior, but she condoned her sisters be trapped in the HOW for 6 weeks immediately after losing their lives. She condones the treatment of the people in Hewn city and supports the literal Jim Crow laws placed against them in Velaris when all they wanted was to leave. She condones and supports trapping Nesta in HoW after the war just to force Cassain on her so Feyre can play matchmaker.

Feyre is an inherently self centered sociopath. She can read minds and still can't develop a shred of empathy.

Just leave Tamlin alone. Damn.

[saturnscherie]

༄ Megumi’s Epilogue.

༄ I wanted to clear up the mind of anyone who didn't like Megumi not getting an Epilogue. This is just my interpretation. You’re still allowed to feel unsatisfied with Megumi’s ending because I am too. I personally just don’t believe JJK ended with Yuji being in Sendai timeline-wise. This means that the last panel we see of Megumi in Ozawa’s Epilogue isn’t supposed to be taken as his last moment in the series.

(There are spoilers below and it’s quite a long discussion. So, please don’t waste your time if you think reading this won't be worth it to you. Everyone’s time is precious.)

Something about Megumi not having closure in the Epilogue section didn’t make any sense to me. So I got to thinking.

I eventually realized that both Yuji and Nobara’s appearance in the Epilogue section, involved them tying up loose ends with their family.

When I thought about it I realized that Megumi ties up loose ends with Tsumiki by laying her to rest in ch. 270. So, there was no need for him to get closure in the Epilogue section.

If you think about it, ch. 270 serves as an Epilogue for not only Megumi but for the other Culling Game characters.

༄ Cont. reading below to see why I think Megumi’s Epilogue happens in ch. 270.

༄ Theory about the Timeline of Events

I have a theory that the last mission the first years go on at the end of ch. 270-271, happens two weeks after December 24th, the day when the Culling Game ended.

༄ Analysis

In ch. 270 When Ijichi explains the last mission to the first years, he suggests that the victim's fiancée started seeing his face being morphed, two weeks ago.

Megumi also mentions to Yuji that the culprit might be an awakened player from the Culling Game.

This suggests that the Culling Game ended on December 24th, the day of the Shinjuku Showdown arc, which was two weeks before the start of ch.270-271/the last mission.

I also noticed that Megumi confirms the two-week time skip at the start of ch. 270.

While Megumi is leaving his sister’s burial site with Shoko, he receives a phone call most likely from Ijichi, and tells him he’ll head to the last mission now.

༄ So what do these two weeks after the Culling Game suggest about the order of events?

༄ Within those two weeks before the last mission, I believe this is how the order of events went down:

1. Yuji goes to Sendai to handle business with the inheritance of his grandfather’s house.

2. Nobara meets up with her mom.

༄ The day of the last mission ch. 270-271:

3. Megumi puts Tsumiki to rest.

4. The first years meet up and then go on their last mission together.

5. The first years finish their last mission, talk about Sukuna’s finger, and walk forward on a path of a new era together.

1. Yuji goes to Sendai to take care of the inheritance of his grandfather’s house.

In Ozawa’s Epilogue, Yuji goes to Sendai and tells Ozawa that he left his grandfather's house empty when he moved to Tokyo. He then says that he has loose ends to tie up.

I believe those loose ends were him taking care of the inheritance of his grandfather’s house and putting Sukuna’s last finger in the thermometer box back at his old high school.

Later on in Ozawa’s Epilogue, Yuji tells Ozawa that it’s snowing.

When Yuji was in his domain with Sukuna, he told him it barely snows in Sendai anymore. So, I thought that if it snowed the day Yuji went to Sendai, the chance of it snowing after that day had to be super rare.

With this in mind, I checked to see if the panel of the thermometer box where Sukuna’s last finger was located, had snow on the ground. To my surprise it did! The grass has snow on it!

To me, this suggests that Yuji had to have placed the finger there during his visit back to Sendai. The same day it snowed when he saw Ozawa.

2. Nobara meets up with her mom.

༄ Before I address Nobara’s Epilogue I wanted to point out why her Epilogue may have not taken place so far into the future because it seems her hair is the same length as it always was. (I added this section about her hair because I received a comment about it.)

When I first read her Epilogue I thought a lot of time had passed because it seemed her hair was long enough to now be put in a ponytail.

But, when I checked the manga to see if Gege ever drew her with her hair in a ponytail, I found a drawing of her at the start of ch.32 with the same type of hairstyle from her Epilogue. I also think her hair at the beginning of ch.38 where she is drawn in a panda shirt, is the same type of hairstyle from her Epilogue as well. (Please check out the beginning of these chapters, only if you want to see what I’m talking about.)

It seems her hair was always long enough to be put in a ponytail. This is why I think it’s safe to assume not much time has passed for her Epilogue to take place. Gege always had the option to draw her hair in the main story with a ponytail he just chose not to.

༄ Nobara meets up with her mom

I believe Nobara goes to meet her mom after she’s had a random feeling that Yuji is getting ahead of her.

Her saying, “Something tells me,” is she admitting she didn’t know what Yuji was doing. She just had a feeling he was, “standing at the doorway to adulthood.”

It’s Megumi who tells her what Yuji is doing. He responds to her comments by saying, “Well yeah inheriting the house isn’t something a kid can do.”

This implies that Megumi already knew Yuji went back to Sendai to take care of matters involving his grandfather’s house, based on his response to Nobara.

༄ Homage

In the image above, the first panel pays homage to the third panel. The third panel is Nobara not liking the idea of Yuji getting a girlfriend before she got a boyfriend.

Her reaction to Yuji in both panels suggests that she wants to beat Yuji when it comes to big milestones in life. For Nobara’s character, this homage proves that she still values the silly little competition she has with Yuji.

༄ From my perspective

These panels have nothing to do with her suggesting Yuji and Ozawa are getting together. Especially since it implies she doesn’t even know what Yuji is doing in Sendai until Megumi tells her.

Also, some people theorize that Megumi and Nobara are in Sendai with him, but it doesn’t make sense based on their clothes. Megumi and Nobara are wearing their uniform and Yuji is wearing his casual clothes.

This further proves my point, that she had no idea what Yuji was up to, she just had a feeling he was getting ahead of her. But keep in mind her not knowing, doesn’t mean that she has a weak character relationship with the Yuji. Just based on the fact that she randomly gets a feeling that Yuji’s ahead of her, is a good representation of their bond.

This is why I believe her Epilogue with her mom happens after Ozawa’s Epilogue. Nobara finally meeting with her mom to honor Gojo’s dying wish, also suggests her wanting to catch back up to Yuji.

༄ Megumi’s reaction

It’s funny to see that Megumi doesn’t sound or look surprised in both panels. I think these panels add to the suggestion Nobara makes, about Megumi knowing Yuji better than she does. (She says this to Ozawa at the cafe)

3. Megumi puts Tsumiki to rest. (I’ll include all panels I think are meant to be his Epilogue)

Megumi’s Epilogue occurs after Ozawa’s and Nobara’s because it happens the same day as the first year’s last mission. Two weeks after the Culling Game ended. (All these panels are from ch. 270)

It also makes sense that it would take Shoko two weeks to finally get a chance to cremate Tsumiki. I’m assuming that after the Culling Game, Shoko had to heal a lot of injured players and civilians.

I’m also sure she needed Megumi’s help to find Tsumiki’s body since he knew where she was based on him watching everything Sukuna was doing on the inside, with his body.

༄ Love interests

You can see that Megumi’s Epilogue is very similar to Yuji's appearance in Ozawa’s Epilogue. Both Yuji and Megumi take the time to resolve their families loose ends and have conversations with their love interests.

This creates a typical Shonen Jump-style ending, where the two main characters in the series engage in discussions with their given love interests. But, for jjk, it remains one-sided/unrequited on the girl's end.

4. The first years meet up and then go on their last mission together.

Together the first years stop the guy who was making a woman’s fiancé's face morph, with his curse technique.

This mission suggests that they are all capable of working together on missions, even if they enjoy their youth by joking around. Even though Yuji and Nobara share the same brain cell, Megumi is there to hold them together.

5. The first years finish their last mission, talk about Sukuna’s finger, and walk forward on a path of a new era together.

Now I will wrap up this analysis as to why Megumi’s Epilogue is implied to be in ch.270. I will talk about how the first year's final scene in ch. 271, the last chapter of JJK, further proves my point.

༄ Sukuna’s last finger

In their final scene together in ch.271, the first years discuss what happened to Sukuna’s last finger after they finish their last mission.

Nobara asks Yuji what did he “do with that thing?” He responds to her and says that he “tossed it,” jokingly obliviously. Fushiguro then says, “Come on” and Yuji tells him not to worry because it isn’t “dangerous anymore.”

After this, the next panel is from Yuji’s pov with him staring at his left hand. The hand where he lost his pinky and ring finger. He then tells Fushiguro that “it’s all good.”

This entire conversation proves that Yuji had already taken care of Sukuna’s finger back when he was in Sendai, during Ozawa’s Epilogue.

༄ What does this ending suggest about the first years?

By the end of the manga, the first years have now all tied up their loose ends with their families. Timeline-wise, first it was Yuji, then Nobara, and lastly Megumi.

It’s also good to note that Yuji’s grandfather was the reincarnated soul of Sukuna’s twin, not Yuji’s dad. Knowing that in the JJK verse twins are connected, Sukuna’s death means that both Yuji’s grandfather and Sukuna's souls can move on. Therefore, when Yuji took care of his inheritance regarding his grandpa’s house he had to make sure he took care of Sukuna’s last finger. It was his way of tying up loose ends with his family.

The final panel of ch. 271 (I already added the image above) shows that the thermometer box is left slightly cracked, with Sukuna’s finger wrapped without a protection seal, in an open box. This is the perfect way to symbolize that Sukuna is no longer a threat. The finger is harmless and the start of a new era has begun.

The first years are now ready to move forward together, with the strong and intelligent allies they make along the way. Gojo’s dream finally came true.♡

༄ If you made it this far thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment what you think. ♡

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

been receiving asks in various degrees of seriousness (you guys are very nice) so i might as well elaborate on galaxy duo before any actual toxicity leaks in

first of all. i could care less if you love galaxy duo and think they’re fluffy and cute. there’s only so much objective interpretation you can draw from literal cubes, so at a certain point it’s just your biases forming your opinions, same way you can’t build a house with two bricks. personally, i found them interesting, my interest dipped slightly in the latter half of WL, but who knows? their dynamic could change if/when there’s a new season.

a disclaimer in advance: if it wasn’t already apparent by the asks (anyway the only people who will see this are people who were following me already but this is jic), i am a pearl main. i don’t watch scott because i don’t like the editing. therefore my takes are exceedingly biased but so is pearl, so there’s that.

let’s talk about their dynamic pre-WL. for LL, i’ll accept that they were a cute wholesome duo. i didn’t watch LL so i can’t really say anything, but from what i’ve heard they were your regular alliance. and then in DL. well. the Horrors. i’ve said a lot about DL already so we’re going to settle and say, pearl absolutely deserved to be mad at scott. abandoning her and not even considering a polycule was not very open minded of him

anyway throughout LiL and SL she’s still angry at him and wants to kill him, which again, i find fair because of the tilly death do us part sacrifice (i invite you to rethink the implications of that line paired with what he did next. essentially saying “we break up when one of us dies” and then killing yourself. ?).

and then add in the element of gem in SL. trust me she’s relevant. gem and pearl have a thing going on, scott doesn’t like it because he sees it as gem nearly leaving their alliance for his ex, but still, because gem is Gem, he holds back on giving her the jimmy/pearl/joel treatment and still tries to be nice to her.

WL begins. it’s a lot. gem doesn’t like pearl because she viewed it as a betrayal and also she finds it funny to play around with her like that. scott doesn’t like pearl. pearl doesn’t like scott.

this is where it starts to get contentious, but also a hill that i will die on: the Gs were absolutely toxic, at least for the first four episodes. i don’t really feel like pointing out all the clips of the pointed comments, the veiled insults, the DIRECT QUOTE of “we’re a family whether you like it or not”, so i’ll use two examples, one for scott, one for pearl.

pearl borderline sold her alliance out. mumbo and skizz came up to pearl, explicitly told her that they were trying to kill her allies, and she not only agreed but engaged in friendly conversation with them for the entirety of their hiding. when the rest of the Gs came back (even joel commented on how pearl was alone at the base), mumbo even helped pearl cover up.

this is not normal alliance behaviour, and definitely not normal pearl behaviour. if pearl was happy in the alliance she wouldn’t have practically invited two would-be murderers to kill her allies. neither is she unjustified with how scott and cleo dismissed her feelings from DL. look, pearl is one of the most loyal lifers, to the point she faced a messy breakup with gem. even to mumbo she was reluctant to trash talk scott or cleo, but still, she let them make the hole, because plain and simple, the alliance was toxic.

as for scott; scott was more friendly to gem than pearl. see, i told you she was relevant. this is less black-and-white than the mumbo and skizz trap, but in social terms it means a lot. it’s like your bestie siding with your ex instead of you, which if you think about it was exactly what was happening. scott spouts a lot about loyalty, but he thinks about it very plainly: loyalty is killing yourself for your ally. but in fact what he did was push the “antagoniser” narrative onto pearl and reinforce and encourage it. gem said an inch, he said a mile.

not to say gem wasn’t the one who created it in the first place, but as pearl’s ally, scott’s first reaction shouldn’t have been to side with gem (he admits to pearl that he doesn’t know what she did, but that based off gem’s reaction he just assumes that pearl did something wrong, despite KNOWING that gem has beef with pearl from SL and is thus an unreliable narrator). as pearl’s (and impulse’s, but to a lesser extent because impulse kind of deserved it for going on about the cows) ally, he shouldn’t have brought it up at the start of every session and result in pearl defending herself furiously before he dragged pearl and impulse to apologise to gem.

this is not up for debate. wl!pearl did nothing to gem, or to anyone. scott tried to convince her to apologise to gem, for nothing. again, even gem points this out to pearl, and because pearl is loyal to a fault, she says that scott’s her ally.

anyway. the Gs were toxic for at least the first four episodes, full stop.

here’s where it starts to derail slightly (for me, at least): the sacrifice. but, you know, let’s examine the circumstances a little closer. as background information, pearl was the only yellow/red whose allies didn’t try to get them a kill. like, the Gs’ approach to gaining lives is not to kill others but to spend one session doing nothing before the guy with the most lives offers to kill himself. strange. lots of issues, these two.

anyway, scott offers the sacrifice, and pearl’s initial reaction is to refuse. the alliance talks it through, and decides it would take the target off scott’s back and give pearl a life. pearl and scott have pretty similar playstyles, in that while they do engage in more rp than say, grian or jimmy, they are also, in a way, sweats. the sacrifice was discussed logically, practically, and it turned out to be a logical decision because without it pearl would’ve permadied a few sessions too early.

here’s where i was a little thrown off, by the presenting that this would be somehow cathartic (iirc, scott uses this exact word) because pearl finally gets to kill scott. it’s funny because pearl does admit while they’re going back to base that she would’ve preferred a 1v1, but i don’t think her deal was ever over that she wanted scott to die. sure, she wanted scott dead, but it was because she didn’t have agency in the dl finale. in the same way, the WL sacrifice isn’t exactly because she really wanted the life (she refused it at first), or because she wanted to kill scott so badly (she said she wanted a 1v1), but mainly because both parties recognised that it was the most sensible decision to do in the circumstances that they were in (scott was dark green, pearl needed a life). to me, it didn’t address pearl’s lack of control over the season that she won, or scott’s distrust of pearl.

but whatever. they act friendly for the rest of the season, because technically their story’s been resolved, so there’s no aggression to be acted out. nothing galaxy duo there.

the ONLY OTHER thing of note is the?? matching hoodie?? not on my bingo card at all. i’ve spoken about it in some ask before but it’s just so random to me? like it never went anywhere, and i don’t see why scott wanted to match red hoodies with her anyway. like why her, specifically? pearl hadn’t killed anyone besides martyn, and that was to avenge her allies. they never address this so i suppose this lack of logic is what spurs on the majormoon truthers; that scott loves pearl so much that he wants to match with her so they can be like a #dynamicduo or something.

uhhhhhhhh. i dunno. it’s just so random and again, because it’s never brought up besides pearl’s cursory “oh, we’re matching” (which we now know was planned because scott asked for permission when getting the skin), it doesn’t have any narrative significance to me. maybe scott explains it in his video. idk

anyway, my problem was how a duo with so much bad blood (>3 seasons), to the point that they were at each other’s throats while in the same alliance, was just kinda. rushed? look, i know the life series isn’t scripted, and the players just have to make do with whatever improv they can do, and i do think scott and pearl did the best with what they had, but personally i was hoping that they wouldn’t go the “pearl finally forgives scott! yay scott for sacrificing!” route because it’s pushed under the rug so suddenly in the hopes of achieving any sort of closure.

again, ccs are fine, i think they were great, i wasn’t a big fan of how the story was handled. that’s it

[sluttysnowangel666]

Chapters 7, 8, & 9 of The Song of Blackwoods & Brackens

This story is written BY ME and I do not consent or give permission to it being posted or translated anywhere else. thank you for supporting your writers <3

Chapter Master List

cw: fem kissing, mention of smut but none yet, cursing and violence

Chapter 7: The Wars to Come

𐂃 𐂃 𐂃 𐂃

I did not return to the court yard after Benjicot's words.

They had stricken me, hurt me. I was drawn to his presence, and yet he thought of me as a fool.

It had been 3 days since our fight, and approximately 4 days since my brother had left for King's Landing. He likely would have caught up with uncle by this point, but they would still have a ways to go. My uncle would be furious to know I was still here, but he could not refuse the words of the King, and he could not leave Stone Henge unattended. I was his only option.

As Benjicot Blackwood was also mine.

———

Ignoring Benjicot's advice, I returned to the court yard. My body had started to recover from the aches and pains, but my heart hadn't. It ached from his sharp words.

I should not have been getting upset by them. He wasn't truly talking to me. He was talking to Aeron. I tried to remember that.

I was shocked to arrive at the court yard and see him a few meters away, waiting at the boundary stones.

He notices me and arises, making his way over to me. "Lord Bracken."

"Why do you keep saying Lord like that? It feels insulting."

"Trust me that it is." He says, smirking. I sigh. "I was starting to think you wouldn't come back."

"Well... You told me not to."

"I did," He says, "And you didn't listen. You didn't take my advice. So, here we are. Ready to spar again."

"Spar? Is that what you call it?"

"You're right, I apologize. It was me besting you, and you running home with your little Bracken tail tucked between your legs." He laughs.

"You are a miserable man." I say.

"And you act like no man at all. Grow up, Bracken. Learn to stop bloody crying. Stand up after a fight. How can you possibly be the heir to Stone Henge?"

"I wonder that myself." I say, defeated for the final time. I turn and toss my sword on the ground.

"Stop." He says, and I do. "I'll help you, Bracken."

I turn to him, "What?"

His face holds an emotion that I can't interpret properly. It almost looks sympathetic, sorry even. "I will help train you. You'll need to learn to carry a sword if you are to defend your house in the wars to come."

"Do... Do you mean it, Lord Blackwood?"

He sighs, "Unfortunately, yes. I do."

I can't hide the small smile that appears across my face, whilst his stiffens as if it's taking all his strength not to smile back.

"Are you ready to begin, little Bracken?"

Gods, I wish I could hide the blush on my cheeks when he calls me that.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 8: The Weirwood

A day later, 24 days before the Battle of the Burning Mill

𐂃 𐂃 𐂃 𐂃

"First of all, your bloody problem is your sword is 3 times your body weight." Benjicot says, taking it from me and tossing it aside. "I have something you can borrow until one of your blacksmiths can forge you something closer to your size."

I scoff, "As if they'd ever do that for me."

He's confused, "Well, why not? You're the heir. You need a sword to fight."

Bloody fool I am.

"Oh, I just meant... my uncle wants me to keep on using the one I have now."

"Alright, well just keep this one then and use it for practice."

"Wow, really? Are you sure?"

"Uh, yes? It's just a pretty standard steel sword. Not too hard to come by." He says, grabbing a satchel and his sword before trudging down the boundary stones.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"We're gonna get you some proper training where not everyone is gonna see you knocked on your ass. Not that I care, but if you plan to be the heir, you need to earn a good reputation."

"A good reputation? You mean like yours, Bloody Ben?" I say

He stops in his tracks, and I run directly into his back. "Exactly." He continues walking.

——

"This should suffice." Benjicot says, setting down his belongings.

"Well, I should bloody hope so! That was an hour's walk!" I say, resting my hands on my knees and panting.

"It was. You don't want us to get caught now, do you?"

"Caught? We're not doing anything wrong."

"Perhaps not, but we are doing something queer. You ever seen a Blackwood and a Bracken stand more than 5 feet apart without brawling?"

"I suppose not."

"Exactly. Now shut up and unsheathe your sword."

I do as he says, and our training begins.

It's hours and hours of grueling, painful training. By the time he's ready for us to break, I could no longer hardly breathe.

"Don't be so dramatic." He says, as I chug water from the river. I scoop it into my hands and let it run over my head and face. Benjicot's eyes linger on my wet tunic, specifically my chest.

"You want a bloody kiss do ya, Blackwood?"

"You're disgusting." He retorts.

He sits beside me at the river, mimicking what I did with the water. I let my eyes linger on him farther than I should.

"What, do you want a bloody kiss or something, Bracken? Quit staring at me."

"Sorry." I say, quickly, averting my gaze.

"Don't be so apologetic. Learn to be a brute back sometimes." He says and I nod.

We sit together, passing an apple back and forth while staring at the rotted weirwood tree.

"You know why it's rotted, right?" He asks me.

"I've heard the rumor." I say.

"It's not a rumor. You Brackens are insufferable. Can never just admit to your mistake. Maybe then our houses wouldn't be at war."

"Good Gods, can you shut up? You're boring me." I say. He snatches the apple from me and throws it in the river. "You are such a bloody cunt, Blackwood!"

"Well, you would know about bloody cunts, wouldn't you?!"

"What the hell are you implying, you fool?" I ask, trying to hide the tremble in my voice, worried he may be onto me.

He jabs his finger in my chest, "I'm implying that you, Aeron Bracken, are a pussy."

Although I am not Aeron Bracken, those words ignited a fire in me.

I spit in his face and he stills. He wipes the spit, yet he is eerily calm for a few moments.

He smiles, "I am going to kill you."

He lunges at me, wrapping his hands around my throat.

He straddles me, "I shouldn't have even helped you, you bastard Bracken." His fingers are tight around my throat, and I claw at his hands.

I wiggle my knee out, and jam it right into his crotch. He immediately groans and releases me, moving his hands to his crotch and falling on his knees, resting his forehead on the forest floor. For a moment, I think he's crying, but he's panting. Short and shallow breaths.

"How shameful. Your uncle raised you with no morals, bastard." He says, finally catching his breath.

"My uncle didn't raise me at all."

After regaining himself, Benjicot gathers his things in silence. The walk back is long and silent, and we arrive by nightfall.

"I apologize... for today's events, Lord Blackwood. Will I see you tomorrow, same place?" I ask, worried he will no longer train me after today's events.

"Who says the night is over?"

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 9: The Brothel

𐂃 𐂃 𐂃 𐂃

"Lord Blackwood, I must admit I am slightly unsure of this."

"Have you truly never been to the brothel, Bracken? It's a rite of passage. Trust me, this will help you finally man the hell up. No great swordsman has never gotten died without getting his cock sucked by a pretty whore." Benjicot says, my face twitches at his words, offended at his crudeness... and upset at his honesty.

"You shouldn't speak of ladies like that." I say.

"They're not ladies, they're whores. Your sister is a lady. Learn the difference." My face twitches again, he's unbearably insufferable at times.

We arrival at the brothel, both of us wearing large dark cloaks. "I'll be right back, I'm going to grab us a flagon."

"No, please, Blackwood-" But my words are useless, and he's gone in the maze of people.

And I'm left alone. A lady, in a brothel, pretending to be her brother.

I find a dark booth in a corner and take my sitting. If I was fortunate, any of the women would avoid me and just think of me as another brothel creep. If I was more, Benjicot would find me too. If he didn't, I'd likely never move from this spot again out of fear of being caught.

Luck would fortunately be on my side today, as Benjicot found me only minutes later. "Gods, did you have to pick such a dank spot?"

I sigh, "Just give me the bloody.." I trail off, snatching the wine from his hands. I pour some into our glasses and set the flagon back down.

We sit in silence. I don't know what to say, and truthfully he seems unsure too. His face displays nervousness, as if he's regretting coming here.

A woman appears and breaks our awkward silence.

"You two..." A glance at me, "gentlemen seem rather lonely back here. May I join you?"

Before either of us can answer she slides her way into the booth. "What brings you boys here?" She asks, flashing a gleaming smile at me.

"Drinking." Benjicot answers, flatly.

"Is your friend always so reserved, milord?" She turns to me with that smile again.

"No, normally he never shuts up." I say, staring at Benjicot. The woman laughs, smacking my arm playfully, and I swear the corner of Benjicot's mouth turns up into a small smirk.

"What about you, milord? Are you a proper gentleman?" She asks, a curious smile on her lips. She twirls her fingers up my arm, then begins weaving them through my hair.

My cheeks flush, "Oh, I... I'm unsure... I.." I cast a look to Benjicot, silently pleading for help.

And boy, does he.

"This one's never been with a lady before." He says, a devious smile on his face. The woman gasps at his words.

"Well, that's no good is it?" She tosses her leg over my lap and straddles me, "Let me be your first."

"Oh, no, my lady, I-" She cuts me off, pressing her delicate lips to mine. I gasp into the kiss and a shiver runs down my spine. My heart feels as though it will beat out of my chest.

I glance at Benjicot, and his eyes are already on mine. His expression is curious, and shocked, his mouth slightly agape.

"My lady-" I try to speak, but she continues the kiss, pushing her tongue in my mouth and swirling it with mine. I close my eyes and allow her to kiss me.

Not that I don't particularly enjoy the feeling, but it is so foreign and new. Her mouth tastes of sweet wine, and I can smell her sweat and skin.

She grabs one of my hands and rests it upon her breast. I allow it to rest there, but I make no attempts to massage it.

This is where it all went awry.

Her hands slide up my tunic, rubbing her slender fingers along my stomach. She pushes further to my chest, and moves her hand slightly to the right onto my breast before immediately stopping.

"What the hell? Are you-" I shove her off me before she can continue her sentence.

She falls beside me onto the chair, shock and a hint of anger on her face, "I'm so sorry, my lady. You're lovely. I... I-I'm so sorry."

I don't even look to see Benjicot's reaction. Instead I throw up my hood, and I run all the way to Stone Henge without stopping once.

[inner-viper]

Christmas with your FS

Guys, I will be officially selling all my paid readings on my online shop ONLY! There will be different divination, rituals, spells, and dream interpretations! Place your orders HERE!! I do live tarot readings too! Please check it out, thank you for all your support!

https://innerviper.com/

FULL NSFW Love Tarot Reading Pack on here!

https://innerviper.com/products/full-nsfw-love-tarot-reading

Check out the Patreon!

https://www.patreon.com/InnerViper

Pile 1 Sexual Tarot Deck: 6 of Swords, 3 of Wands, 2 of Swords, and 4 of Wands

“Under the mistletoe, we kiss tonight. This marks our eternal love for each other..” “I want to keep you away from everyone, to hold you, kiss you, fuck you.. Ugh too bad we can’t escape them”

It seems like your first Christmas is at a family gathering of theirs. I feel like you both wanted to collaborate on the Christmas events from each side of the family. Either one of you could have a lot of extended family members! Anyways, this starts off as being very uncertain and not knowing where to look. It’s like you both had plans for this time around to be alone but ultimately it was not a viable option. I am getting a vision of your FS answering a call from their family, their family wants to hang around and have a cute holiday party. It seems like you will be slightly disappointed because you may have been planning a holiday getaway in secret but now you have to cancel your vacation. Regardless the chemistry between the two of you is still there! You both decided to lay off having sex. I feel like this pile has these moments in the relationship where they get infatuated with each other. It is like you both want to consume each other's souls. There is a strong sexual energy here. I am picking up that you like to tease a lot! You seem to enjoy wanting to make your FS dripping/leaking. It’s almost like you are taking out your anger on them haha. It seems like you like to transmute energy with your FS. I am sensing that you enjoy having the freedom to tease them all you want. During the Christmas holiday week, you will be touching them and edging them. It's not enough for them to cum though. They will be SO frustrated with you, they may at times snap at you during this week because they want you to satisfy them. I am getting a vision of you smiling at them and rubbing circles into their ass, really touching all their erogenous zones. You will even be taking lewd pictures to send to them while they are out. When it comes to Christmas day, you both will be riled up. You both can no longer take it anymore, you must unleash all this lust. This sex is going to have you both passing out but there will be challenges to get away from family! I am sensing that this party event is at your FS parent’s house. During the party, you both will be giving flirtatious stares, discreetly touching each other, and doing gestures that no one else understands. I am getting a vision of someone lifting up their skirt/dress and not wearing anything underneath it! You both will find ways to sneak off and share a kiss or two. I am sensing that every 30 minutes you both find somewhere hidden to be to make out. There is a lot of tongue energy here, my lips feel wet. So I am sensing that this kiss is quite erotic. I feel like this is the pile that is really into making out. You both will explore each other's tongue and mouth. You may enjoy the feeling of their tongue against yours and vice versa with your FS. Now for the sex.. On Patreon

Pile 2 Sexual Tarot Deck: 10 of Swords, Death, The Stars, and The Hierophant

“Hold my hand, take care of me while I go through this despair” “Take away my pains, I no longer wish to cry but I can’t help it”

This pile has some dark energy to their reading. I feel like there will be an event with your FS that will leave you sad, and almost depressed. I am not sure but some people that choose this pile may struggle with depression and dark thoughts. I hope that you can find some peace at times though. Anyways, there seems to be a death in the family or this is around the time that a family member has passed away and you no longer wish to grieve over it but you can’t help it when it comes to their anniversary. You seem to struggle with keeping it together, there will be moments where you want to scream and cry for help just so you don’t hold it in anymore. The collective of this pile may be people who struggle to ask for help when in need. It’s almost like you have this hyper-independence mindset. There is a vision that I am seeing of you being alone and crying alone in the dark. For some reason, you may hide what you are going through from your FS. I can sense that they will mention how you seem to have changed, and that they are always there for when you need to talk but you are trying to put this brave front. Now, the next vision that I am seeing is them catching you crying. I am seeing a vision of someone finding you outside crying to yourself, knees held against your face, and the sounds of weeping distraught. They are going to surround you with love and care at this time. They don’t want you to feel like you are alone because you aren’t. I am sensing that they were really festive and into the holiday spirit. They were excited to have spent time with you and their family. You didn’t want to ruin that for them so this is one of the reasons that you convinced yourself to hide it. You did not ruin their holiday spirit but they are upset that you didn’t talk to them sooner. During the Christmas holiday week, they will be attending to your needs. They will be around more often, taking care of house chores, bringing soup, and creating a comfortable safe space. They want you to be able to express your emotions fully. They don’t want you to bottle it up, they want to see you feel more comfortable around them. There is also this desire from them, they desire to be the one to see you vulnerable. A raw authentic version of you, a desire to see who you really are. They want to see you drop the high walls that you may have put up to keep others out. In a way, this will build a stronger relationship between the two of you. Now during Christmas day, I see that you two will be more comfortable and relaxed with each other. I feel like your FS didn’t want to spend time with their family because you were still grieving for some you both attended Christmas Day for a brief period of time. Either way, you end up at your house/apartment. I feel like this starts off very slow and passionate. It feels like this starts off with sweet compliments from them. They will be caressing you, rubbing circles into your skin, and trailing sweet kisses all over your body. They will be very gentle and ask if you want to continue because they really just want you to feel relaxed. Now for the sex.. On Patreon

Pile 3 Sexual Tarot Deck: 2 of Wands, Knave of Swords, 8 of Wands, and 4 of Swords

“Come I know you want more..” “Let’s have multiple back-to-back orgasms”

This pile is very passionate and fiery with their FS. I feel like you both are looking forward to spending the holidays alone. You both may have wanted to go on a trip by yourselves. I feel like you both spent a lot of time with family a week before so they wouldn’t feel saddened that you guys aren’t there with them. For some people who selected this pile, I feel like you may not have a good relationship with family so it is natural for you to just spend this holiday at home all cozy. Although because of that they want to bring an abundance of love to you. There is a general sense of wanting to make Christmas Day special, I feel like either one of you did not have the best holiday. Perhaps it is because either one of you did not grow up with celebrating this holiday but you or your FS could have grown up with it. It’s almost like they want to introduce you to a special occasion. You or they could put a lot of effort into making things perfect, so you’ll find it to be shocking that they are stressing over minor details. I see them asking your opinions on which country you want to be in, what activities, and what you want from each unique location that you may have selected. Your FS is wealthy, this is the pile that could have millionaire spouses. For some people, they are amazing at budgeting, so they make a good income to support both of you. Throughout the week, you both will be busy with a lot of fun spontaneous activities. I feel like there is so much teasing energy here. You could be wearing more revealing clothes, tighter fits, and showing off more of your collarbones than usual. They will be really into it, I see you both like to do some color coordination. You both are such a cute couple because I am seeing you both planning what to wear together. Whenever you both go out to dine, I feel like this is where the teasing is more prominent. You both have the correct words to say, there is a lot of dirty talk. Whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ear. Ok, so I am hearing a deep sexy masculine voice and a sweet seductive woman’s voice. Whoever you are into, they have a sweet deep voice. I feel like you may even have a voice kink because you will be squirming just from their voice alone. There may be times when you think you are seducing them and they will match your energy and do the most. It’s like you both are competitive with each other. I feel like this pile's energy enjoys switching and exchanging power dynamics. There is a sense of trying to overly dominate each other and I feel like some days on this trip you give up and vice versa. There is so much fun energy here, they may be into worshiping you. I feel like you’ll have so much because they make you feel good about yourself.

Now for the sex.. On Patreon

Thank you for reading!

[katz-chow]

im a ghost girlie but my love for soap is literally incomprehensible and i have this headcanon where its ghost x reader but soap third wheels all the time and its not like in a mean way at all, they’re just a trio that is basically inseparable. i also hc that they make so many jokes about being a throuple to the point where its not rlly a joke anymore lmao. anyway, this is all to ask if you’ll write some headcanons about that dynamic. fluff ofc! if u feel comfortable writing a little bit of poly soap x reader x ghost, i’d be very gracious 🙏🏽 but no pressure!

soap, simon, and the not-so-single parent

warnings: gn!reader, ghost x reader, soap x platonic!reader, my interpretation of ghost & soap, domesticity, fluff, johnny being johnny, simon being simon, reader being the concerned parent, third-wheel soap

a/n: this shit be on my mind constantly that johnny just loves to annoy and thirdwheel reader & simon. some of this is inspired by irl stuff. i'm not really into a poly triangle personally and i just can't imagine them, especially simon, to be okay with it, sorry!

humble beginnings

johnny didn't find out that simon had a romantic partner until you two reached past your 1 year anniversary. it happened by pretty much chance too, here's how that went: simon forgot a file, you were off of work, you drove to base, you dropped off said file using your dependent clearance, he kissed your cheek goodbye right in the doorway of his office (masked), johnny turned the corner, and as simon pulled away, you looked at johnny who was desperately trying to seem busy on his phone as he walked away hurriedly. he was on the calculator app. simon and you gave each other a look and he nodded, knowing that you've been wanting to meet the colorful coworkers (and his closest friends) for a while now. you called him over, soap, as you've remembered, not everyday you see a mohawk. johnny freezes and turned around to see you beckoning him back to the frame of the office, and simon with his arms crossed, staring a bit annoyed actually. he was chill when you two introduced each other, not wanting to embarrass himself. his eyes lit up though, when he heard you invite him over for dinner. "lovie..." simon started out, a gentle hand on your back. you hit his chest with the back of your head playfully, "no, no, this will be good for us. first diner party in our new house" "HOUSE? HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD SOMEONE" he wanted to scream at simon's face, what came out however was a "i dinnae want to be a bother to you both" you insisted and he felt bad (but also curious), so dinner it was. simon took off his mask to please you and well, it was the comfort of his home. he rolled his eyes as johnny quipped that he certainly was "quite the opposite". from that day forward, it was the three of you against...manchester i guess?

children, the both of them

johnny tags along whenever you two are running errands on leave or on off days when they're both stationed at home. sometimes it's just you and him, or him and simon, or all three of yall. it started with a "we're having brunch, wanna join?" and now it's more like "we're going to the zoo, 9 am, get there" they make up the weirdest challenges and it feels like you're babysitting them both. simon, doesn't see it, he's a grown adult man, he's not silly. johnny says it's just in his nature like how it's natural that wombats poop in cubes (he walked ahead to read that tidbit and walked back to regurgitate it back at the two of you). challenges include: simon and johnny getting into a long debate about which is better, the smoked salmon crepes or the chocolate crepes, and when they mix them together, who can eat it all without puking? who can get to the butterfly sanctuary the fastest without running? who can find your favorite fish in the 30,000 gallon (113562.35 liter) fish tank WHILE holding their breath as if they were swimming in the water johnny telling you that his jokes are the best, simon butting in and using the "i'm your boyfriend, surely my jokes are better" card. you wanted to throw them both out of the car as they kept going back and forth with the most stupidest, tasteless, dad jokes ever. johnny saying he can drive better than simon. simon saying he can fly a broken helicopter and land safely. you're in the driver's seat. simon quipped that he would be a good artist compared to this shit's canvas (picasso) and johnny saying that his cat can paint better. simon said dogs can do it better. johnny said- you get the idea simon threw up after the 8th time on a rollercoaster. johnny threw up on the 9th. you, however, went through a nice scenic boat ride :)

quiet mornings

you three are closer than yall think. whenever they're both away, you always miss the noise they bring in the kitchen, trying to figure out how to make muffins or...popcorn. the three of you doing the daily wordle, crossword, and sudoku. "what's c for?" "c4 is an explosive, bonnie" "no johnny, what does C STAND FOR? fucking idiot..." mornings when you both are expecting johnny are never quiet, especially when he announces that he's there by knocking on the front door and saying "it's johnny!" when someone opens it. even when he's not there, you can at least hear simon's almost silent breaths if it wasn't for how close you two were. you miss them when they have to leave, you know it can't be forever, but damnit you missed the buzzing of them both. you don't miss, however, johnny and simon playing drunk monopoly.

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

I watched the episode of House of Mouse where its the Christmas special and Pete's in and that got me thinking-

I cannot remember if you've already made a post regarding Christmas at the HoM, so consider this in September:

Since it's implied Christmas doesn't exist in TW, let's say Yuu starts making gingerbread cookies out of habit. And after that, she is halfway through the pudding when she realises that Christmas, in fact, has never been brought up before amongst her friends.

A quick check later and she leaves the pudding to set while wondering where she's going to find the occasion to give her friends holiday treats.

So sometime before Christmas she brings the cookies and pudding over to the HoM after wrapping them up fancy for her work family-

Only for Pluto to flaunt his special sugar-free gingerbread biscuits in full view of the villains' table.

And then Maleficent calls Yuu over to ask where did Pluto get such cute cookies with pine trees piped all over them-

Yuu, most likely: 'I made them myself for Christmas :). But Christmas doesn't exist in TW, so I couldn't think up a special occasion to give my friends Christmas treats :(. Especially considering all the effort that went into the cookies :( Jamil wouldn't call that cost-effective :(

Jafar is internally cursing out his protege, while Maleficent and the Queen of Hearts immediately start trying to convince her to make their twisted versions cookies :) and only their versions :) no, shove off mal, she's going to make dear riddle cookies that don't break any rules whatsover :) not your grandson :) sod off you hag :)

Anyway, I was going to add something about a kiss under the mistletoe but it's not even November yet so I'll save it until then

Please don't let this ask get eaten-

Hi!

Wow, I am loving these House of Mouse!AU asks. Life has been crazy these past few months so coming back to Tumblr to see that people are still interested in this really makes me smile 🥰

I remember writing something about that special last year that was kind of similar to what you said - I love the fan trope where our/Yuu's world's holidays/traditions don't exist in twst. The angst and fluff potential is just so good (I remember there was this one episode of Winx Club where the fairies try to cheer Bloom up by having a christmas party but they misunderstand everything and Stella interprets 'christmas cheer' as 'a christmas cheer' like the type cheerleaders do and I feel like that's the kind of endearing shenanigans you'd get in NRC)

I think that's what makes the House of Mouse so neat - it's kind of like a best of both worlds situation where there is a mix of both fantastical Disney magic and parts of our world (so Yuu can feel more at home, in a way)

Okay but back when I was in another fandom, I wrote a christmas themed drabble where a character made personalised gingerbread people for his entire class where he decorated each biscuit to look like them and I think that's definitely something Yuu would do (as well as the usual christmas themed ones, of course - she likes to go all out like that)

But yes, I see the shippers using this as a way to sail their ship. Yes, of course they want to throw a christmas celebration as a way to make Yuu happy - but it wouldn't hurt if they indulged in some light trickery now would it. Cue cartoon shenanigans where everyone is sabotaging each other, leading to total chaos and a Yuu that is both frazzled and totally oblivious.

"C'mon, Jaffy - just 'cause your little protege doesn't appreciate Yuu doesn't mean you have to ruin things for us. Where's your christmas spirit?"

"You don't even celebrate christmas!"

"Neither do you!"

Not to mention all of the animal companions that want special christmas treats as well (much to Pluto's irritation and obvious jealousy)

Thanks for the ask ♡

[torialefay]

🥀 Mars in Sagittarius 🌒

bangchan as your boyfriend!!! (pt. 3, fighting)

(based on astrology) 🔞

✨bangchan x reader (f); angst, angst, angst;

(p.s. if you're here for the angst and not the astrology, scroll down to the star divider to start the story <3)

✨word count: ~ 6.1 k (i got carried away)

✨3rd part in a series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!

✨i will give a synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship

✨ author’s notes:

(1) i am doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.

(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

(3) tysm to @stayceebs97 for the ideas <3 you rock!

✨warnings: this part of the series is NOT sunshine and rainbows. it explores chan’s aggressive tendencies, which can be uncomfortable for some readers. also features a lot of cursing!

✨tl/dr: in fights, chan can be logical and wants to weigh all options. a lot of times, this does more hurt than good because it takes him a LONG time to bring up/respond to confrontation. he also has the tendency to project, which deeply affects him because he doesn’t want to admit that he is flighty (but he is low key high key). when things finally reach a boiling point, he tends to explode.

Mars in Sagittarius:

-Mars is the planet that is involved in aggression, plans of action, and how people approach confrontation.

-Sagittarius is a fire sign, meaning that they can have fiery streak when provoked. However, the sign is the mutable one out of the fire signs, which means that this isn’t always expressed, but really does come out when the same fiery reaction is brought out in another. This also means that in difficult situations, he CAN defer to the partner if they have really strong feelings about something, but if a conclusion cannot be met, he is comfortable in leading the conversation.

-Sagittarius is also the sign of action and adventure. They are known for not wanting to settle down. In aggression, this can translate into the tendency to be flighty- to take off when things get uncomfortable. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they will leave forever, but they definitely need their space if they want to calm their hot-tempered nature.

-Sagittarius is also heavily influenced by justice and fairness. They value honesty and being real. They typically do not respond well to poor treatment, or when they see poor treatment of others. They strongly fight against situations in which people are being advantage of or being taken for granted.

Other aspects in the natal chart to consider: 1st House in Gemini, 7th House in Sagittarius, 6th house in Libra

1st house in Gemini:

-The first house, also known as the Ascendant or the Rising sign, is all about how others perceive you. Often, it represents people’s first impression of you, as it is how you respond to unfamiliarity and can be a mask of how you present yourself in these situations. It is not necessarily your personality (this would be the Sun sign, of which Chan’s is in Libra), but it is a more superficial level that is very reactionary.

-Gemini is a mutable air sign that is represented by “the twins.” This analogy is used to represent the duality of a person, and how they can seemingly show different sides of themselves to different people. Geminis usually get a lot of flack for being considered “fake.” However, much like Libras, Gemini just want to be accepted and well-liked in society, so they will placate to what others want. However, unlike Libra, this can sometimes come across as disingenuous to people that do not really know the person. In a more positive light, they are seen to be very open-minded and curious people.

7th house in Sagittarius:

-The 7th house can be thought of as the opposite of the 1st house. It is about how YOU see OTHERS. The lens through which you initially respond to other people and assess them. This is also a more superficial response, but is a more reactionary one, again when in a new or uncomfortable setting.

-As discussed previously, Sagittarius is known for being a fun, open, and adventurous sign. They strongly value their freedom and independence. These people tend to get along well with others and are very sociable.

-A person with a 7th house in Sagittarius sees others in a very positive light. They usually see other people as new friends to be made and new experiences to have. However, people with this sign also see others as people who are flighty and sometimes unreliable due to their want for freedom. They can falsely believe that someone is going to “leave them” when the going gets tough, or that they cannot always trust that person to be there for them- even if that is not the reality of the situation.

6th house in Libra:

-The 6th house is the area of reconciliation. It is involved in how you respond to conflict and what aspects of life are needed to be settled in order for you to “forgive and forget.” This also represents the way in which a person approaches fixing the aftermath of an argument, if choosing to do so.

-We know from previous parts in the series that Chan is very much tied to Libra (it is actually also his Sun, Moon, and Mercury signs). Libras are known for being people pleasers and being well-liked. They also are associated with the balancing scale, meaning they truly value balance and harmony in their lives. They seek to attain this balance, as it is what keeps them sane from trying to please everyone all at once. Libras are very good at molding themselves into situations and meeting people where they are.

-Chan has several planetary placements in the 6th house. These include the Moon (ruler of emotions), Venus (ruler of love and beauty), Mars (ruler of aggression) and Pluto (ruler of reconciliation). This would most likely manifest in him needing to DEEPLY discuss the root of the problem in order to put a fight to rest. He has to satisfy this urge from the emotional, relational, and conflictive levels. He also has a strong desire to make amends, even if he doesn’t quite know how to initiate it or takes a while to do so. He will be in a very irritable mood until the issue is resolved.

As your boyfriend:

• You and Chris do not get into fights very often. Overall, his personality is very harmonious, and you typically get along very well in daily life. Down to the little things, he is often very understanding of you and wants to see things from your perspective.

• However, when fights do happen, it is most likely something he has been tethering with for a while or something that you brought up yourself.

• When Chan is mad, he doesn’t hide it well. When he’s upset about something, he will not talk about it right away. He will most likely resort to a blank or annoyed face, stop being talkative, and recluse to a different room. This can go on for hours or sometimes days until he feels like he is ready to talk about it (if he even does talk about it) or until you MAKE him talk about it.

• He gets most upset when he feels like he is being lied to or not being told the complete truth. He also gets very bothered when he feels like people he loves are being treated poorly. He HATES feeling like someone is trying to tie him down or keep him complacent when there’s something he really wants to go for.

• When something starts to bother him, he will start out being cold or distant, and will tend to run away from the problem. However, since he has a 7th house in Sag, he is likely to project this onto others. He starts to see them this way. One of his greatest fears is people leaving him, as he tends to be flighty himself. He has the mentality that he shouldn’t always bring up a problem, or it is okay to try to run from it, because other could leave him anyways if he made a big deal.

• I want to re-emphasize HOW MUCH of a problem this is for Chan. He deeply understands what it feels like to want to run and hide, but he is ashamed of it. Instead (due to 7th house also in Sag), he will project it onto you. He will think that if he talks to you when he is angry that you will leave him. That you will not speak to him. What he fails to realize is that it is he HIMSELF who does this, not the other way around. He justifies his moody spells and flightiness by thinking you would probably behave the same. He may even not see it as a big problem unless you extensively talk to him about it. It is a part of his nature (literally in his stars) to think this way, so he will need you to work with him on it.

• His Gemini placement in the 6th house hints that he can actually get pretty explosive when the blame is placed on him, especially if he thinks that it is unfair.

• His first reaction when getting into a heated fight can be intense- when it finally comes to a head, when he finally gets so worked up about it, he releases everything all at once. He can be loud and can say things he may not actually mean. With his Ascendant Gemini energy, he will know a lot about you and could bring up some things that he knows will deeply upset you. This is not his true intention, and this is not who he really is. It is a coping mechanism that he likely had to develop early in life. It is further exacerbated by the fiery energy of Sag in Mars.

• Again, you do not fight very often. Maybe minor disagreements here and there. But when there is a true fight, it is a BIG fight. A MOODY fight. Everything is laid out on the table and feelings will get hurt in the process. It may only happen a few times in your relationship, because eventually you both learn how each other operates. Chan learns that you are NOT going to leave him over a silly fight, and he learns to control his tongue (and stop saying shit he doesn’t even mean) when he gets to his boiling point.

• I want to make a point to say that Chan would never hit you, nor physically hurt you in any way during an argument. His chart does not suggest that at all. Any and all fighting would be verbal, or maybe even on an emotional level if distancing himself comes into play.

• After a fight, after Chan has exploded, he immediately feels remorseful. His Sun in Libra demonstrates that this is not AT ALL what he wanted or who he is. And although he prides himself for not letting many fights ensue, he can’t help but be ashamed at how he handles things once he finally explodes. He knows he has to learn how to open up more frequently about what he’s feeling, but it is very hard for him. He doesn’t know how to talk to you about certain things because he thinks it will make him look “weak.” What Channie fails to realize is that once he overcomes this, simply talking with you about it before it bubbles over, can quickly put out any fire that he feels.

• Although Chan feels terrible after a fight with you, reconciling what happened is difficult for him. He has to look at the fight from all different angles to fully get over it. He needs to come to understand the emotions behind it- both his emotions and your emotions. At the end of the day, he wants and NEEDS to maintain this love. He will work very hard to try and understand your differences. He needs to get to the root cause. He also questions his aggressive nature and why he reacts the way that he does. Overcoming this is one of his greatest difficulties. But it can happen. And once you have both sat down and assessed the situation, he can finally come to terms that it will be okay. That he can do better, and that you are not going to simply run away because of your disagreement.

• Chan will spend daysss, weeks even, trying to make things up to you. He is deeply bothered by the way that he acts in a fight. He simply cannot handle any residual hard feelings over the careless words he let leave his mouth. He would spend the rest of his lifetime making it up to you if he had to. You were supposed to be his peace, his inner balance, and his comfort away from the struggles of his daily life… And this is how he treated you. It was in the heat of the moment, sure. But to him, it is still unacceptable. And he resents himself for it. The fact that you stayed with him, that you remained faithful to him, that you didn’t LEAVE him made his heart shatter. He knows you are too good to him, and he promises to do better for you too.

• Chan, like I’ve said a million times, KNOWS you. He knows your love language. And to make it up to you, he is going all out. You like acts of service? He is keeping the house spotless for the next month so you don’t have to lift a finger. You like quality time? He is canceling all of his plans to go wherever you want- maybe even go on a quiet trip together. If work doesn’t let him, he’s gonna ask you to tote along with him. He’s just happy knowing you’re happy. You’re more into physical touch? He is snuggling into you all hours of the day. Hell, even the night. If he wakes up and isn’t holding you anymore, he turns his ass back around to cup you in his arms. You experience love through getting gifts? He’s getting you that ring you wanted… actually he’s buying you one in every stone just to be sure. He’d buy you a fucking house if he could decipher which would be the perfect one. You love having words of affirmation? He will hold you next to his chest before bed, telling you what a perfect girl you are and how he can’t believe how lucky he is to have you. How someone like him could be so blessed by fate to end up with someone like you. How he would never be good enough for you, but he would die trying. How perfect you looked in this moment, natural and soft. How he can’t wait to make you his wife and the mother of his children some day. How unbelievable it would be to watch someone as pure, faultless, and beautiful as you give him a precious baby- because even if they… No, she. Channie insisted it would be a girl. Even if she carried on his last name, she would be able to keep her mother’s perfection.

• Chan has been watching you. He’s been watching you for weeks. He didn’t consider himself to be a possessive boyfriend, but just because he didn’t consider himself that doesn’t mean he isn’t one.

• You had both agreed to share your phone location with one another. What if something happened to you? What if your phone went missing? Neither of you thought much about it. You didn’t check it anyways.

• But Chan did. He had to. He wished he wouldn’t have. He’s been going crazy ever since.

• A little over 2 weeks ago, you had come home late from work. Later than usual… by a lot. It had been almost 2 hours past your normal arrival time. He wouldn’t have normally given it much thought, but you didn’t even text him to let him know. He thought it was weird, but he shook it off. You said you had ran to get some art supplies, evident from the bag in your hand, and got stuck in traffic afterwards. Channie believed it.

• It wasn’t until the next time you were late that he caught on. It was only 3 days after the first occurrence, and now here you were, 2.5 hours late already and still not home. He got worried about you. He texted. He called. Nothing. He started to think something was wrong. He quickly scrolled to your name in his phone and clicked on the “Location” tab. He was so scared.

• ‘Why are you at Felix’s apartment? And not answering my calls?’ He thought. He called you again. And again and again, to no avail. Shortly after, he saw the blue dot on the map moving, slowly headed back to the apartment you shared.

• He thought it was random, weird even, that you’d be at Felix’s place without him. But who knows. He was sure there was a reason for it. He knew you’d tell him. Only… you never did.

• “What took you so long babe?” He pried when you had gotten through the door and into the kitchen. You hoisted 4 heavy bags onto the kitchen counter.

• “I just had to stop and pick up some stuff to bake with. They were out of almost everything! I had to look around a lot.” Well yeah, you had all the essentials. Flour, sugar, baking soda, chocolate chips. He waited on you to say that you had stopped by Felix’s to grab what you couldn’t find at the store. He waited for you to explain that you’d just popped by his apartment really quickly because you knew he kept what you needed. But you didn’t say anything. Not a damn thing more.

• Chan could have prodded. He could have poked. He could have asked you what you were doing at Felix’s apartment. But he didn’t want to seem crazy. He didn’t want you to think he was trying to control you- he knew how much he would hate that too. He figured you had just forgotten to mention the little Felix detail. 'It just slipped your mind' is what he told himself. ‘It was such a small detail that you didn’t even think to mention it,” he reasoned.

• He still couldn’t deny that he was a bit upset though. He bottled it in as best as he could. He put up a good front and a good attitude and acted like nothing was wrong. And it probably wasn’t. But he quickly favorited the “Locations” tab on your page just to be safe.

———————————————————

• You were bolting to your apartment door as quickly as you could. You were out way later than expected again. ‘Fuck. Chan is gonna start to catch on if you don’t start being more careful’ you told yourself. You unlocked the door and put on a big smile to greet your boyfriend, who you hoped wasn’t busy. You had a long day and really just needed him to help you decompress.

• “Babe, I’m home!” you yelled as you made your way through the hall and to the kitchen and living area. You looked around and didn’t see him anywhere. No response either.

• “Baby?” You called again. You checked the bathroom and the back deck, but no sign of Chris anywhere. It wasn’t like him to be in his room already, but you’d seen his car parked in his spot, so you knew he had to be here.

• You pushed open the bedroom door. “Chris?” You peaked your head in. You saw his curly little head faced away from you in his chair, hunched over his laptop. “Oh there you are! I started to get worried when you didn’t answer me.”

• “I could say the same.” He spun his chair around. You couldn’t quite make out the look on his face. He was serious. Stern. Upset? You saw his jaw was clenched.

• “What are you talking about?” You questioned him, furrowing your brows and gazing down to look at him.

• “I don’t know, maybe check your phone.” His eyebrows were raised at you, slightly scowling. You pulled your phone from your pocket and unlocked it. You usually had it silenced when you went to visit Felix… Fuck. 6 unread texts and 3 missed calls.

• “I’m so sorry, I’ve had my phone on silent basically all day. I’ve just been slammed at work and was trying to get caught up. I should have called and let you know I’d be late again. I’m so sorry.” You could feel yourself start to sweat.

• “Where did you go after work?” he asked with zero emotion in his voice this time. ‘Play it cool, y/n. Play it cool,’ you coached yourself.

• “Nowhere. I was at work and then I came straight home.” God, you felt like shit lying to him like this. You crossed your arms, trying to lean your weight back and look relaxed. Suddenly, Chan stood up out of his chair.

• “Don’t fucking lie to me y/n.” He was only inches in front of your face now.

• “I’m not lying to you! Where else would I have been?” you huffed out. You tried to look upset back, to stand your ground and hopefully convince him that you were telling the whole truth. You tried, but you could barely stomach him yelling at you like that.

• “Where would you have been? Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe with fucking Felix! Does that ring a bell?” he yelled at you. He had turned a new shade of crimson you’d never seen before. His eyes were dark, like there was nothing left in them except for rage.

• You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t. Your mouth simply wouldn’t move. You couldn’t deny that you were with Felix because you were. But it wasn’t fair for Chan to be yelling like he was.

• He took your silence as his cue to continue his now rampage. “Jesus Christ! I’m not stupid, y/n! I’ve been watching you for weeks just come home late with some bullshit excuse why you weren’t home sooner, why you didn’t check your phone, why you’ve been ‘soooo exhausted’… I mean fucking hell, could you have made it any more obvious? So yes, YES I checked your location and goddamn it if you weren’t with Felix of all people! And surprise, surprise! Every time I texted him, he NEVER responded until your location tracker had left his building… Mmmm, isn’t that funny?” He let his eyes rise up towards the ceiling, tongue poking into his cheek before he scoffed at you. “I should have fucking known better. I should have fucking known… You know what? Maybe this was my fault. It was my fault for getting with a whore in the first place.” Your jaw dropped. There is no way he just said that. There’s no way he thinks that about you. He knew everything about you. He knew how you had struggled with your sexuality before meeting him. He knew how insecure you were in your body and how you went out seeking approval in the wrong ways. How you felt like you needed approval from men to not feel terrible about yourself. How you felt extremely guilty and disgusted by yourself for mistakes you’d made in the past because of it. He knew that was the part of you that you constantly tried to hide from him. He knew how it took you almost a year of dating him before you felt comfortable enough with him to talk about it. Out of everything he could have called you, he chose whore? That was a deep fucking cut. You stumbled backwards slightly, trying to find some way to get your mouth to start moving.

• “Yeah, you have nothing to say for yourself, huh? Pathetic.” This was the angriest you’ve ever seen him. You didn’t know he was capable of this scope of intimidation. He towered over you, like watching his prey before he made his next move.

• “It’s not what it looks like,” was all you could muster up the courage to get out.

• “It’s not what it looks like… It’s not what it looks like?! Then tell me what it fucking is because to me, it looks like my whore of a girlfriend is going behind my back and fucking my best friend. I mean, Felix used to talk about how hot you were before we got together, but I never thought he’d pull this shit.” He looked off and made an annoying smirk. He started to half laugh/ half scream. “This shit is fucking crazy! It’s just too fucking good!”

• Seeing Chris get so upset that he started laughing into it made you want to crouch into a ball in the corner of the room. You wanted to disappear. None of this was your fault. “Chris, just let me explain,” you sobbed. You couldn’t help it.

• “Oh look, now you’re crying,” he taunted you. “If anything, I should be the one crying. I mean goddamn it y/n. What didn’t I have? What didn’t I give you? You had to go off and get it somewhere else? And with Felix. Of course with my fucking best friend,” Still red as ever, you saw a single tear start to form in his eye.

• He looked down and to the side to stop you from seeing his broken expression. “I knew you would do this y/n. It’s not like I didn’t expect it. Just take advantage of me and then leave me like everyone else,” he was full-on bawling. You could hear it in his voice. He almost couldn’t get his words out anymore. “What did I do to deserve this?” He let his blood-shot, trickling eyes make full contact with yours.

• “Chris, you didn’t do anything. Just let me expl-“ you got cut off.

• “Don’t bother. Just go back out and do whatever the fuck you need to do to make yourself feel better. Obviously it’s not me. By all means, don’t let me stop you from doing what you want.” He all but spat in your face. “Not that you gave a fuck about me anyways.”

• You were stunned. Not stunned because you were scared, but stunned because of how WRONG he was. And how much disrespect he had just shown you. Who was he to cut you off when you were trying to talk? You had never been more furious in your life.

• “CHRISTOPHER BANG if you do not let me talk, I will walk out of this house and never fucking turn back, I promise you!” You screamed so loud you were sure the neighbors would hear. You didn’t care. You’d passed your breaking point and you would continue to scream as much as you damn well pleased. “Okay, yes, I admit it! I did lie to you! But not because I was CHEATING on you with Felix?? What the actual fuck?! Since you HAVE to know, we’ve been working on getting everything ready for the surprise birthday party that we were throwing YOU this weekend! I didn’t want to keep it from you, but we can’t have a surprise party without the fucking surprise!” you continued to shout. Chan’s jaw dropped open. His expression was blank. “Here I was thinking that I was being a good girlfriend, but apparently I’m just some whore to you! I can’t fucking believe you.” Scared of what else you would say if you stayed, you sharply turned on your heels to hurry out of the room. You quickly made your way to the bathroom, locked it behind you, turned the lights off and fan on. You leaned back until you could feel the cold wall behind you. You let yourself fall against it and slide down until you were sitting in the floor, bringing your knees up in front of your face. There was nothing left for you to do except to sob. Was this really your boyfriend?

• 10 minutes went by of nothing but tears. You were finally at the point where you had exhausted yourself of crying. You felt your tongue go dry. There was nothing left in you. All you could do was wipe the tears from your face and try to catch your breath. Deep breaths in and out. In and out. ‘It will be okay,’ you kept repeating to yourself.

• All of a sudden, you heard a tiny knock at the door. ‘Fuck off,’ you thought. You couldn’t be bothered to move a single inch.

• “Y/n? Please can you open the door? Please. I need to talk to you. I’m so sorry.”

• Silence was all you gave him. He wasn’t going to get anything else.

• Knock, knock, knock. He tried again. “Please open up for me. I need to see you, I need to apologize to you. I was wrong. Just please come out or open the door so I can come in.”

• You stayed radio silent. All you wanted in this moment was for him to go away. You just wanted to be left alone until you were exhausted enough to fall asleep and get out of this hell of a day.

• A couple more tiny ‘knock, knock’s could be heard, but they were much quieter this time. You heard a sniffle from the other side of the door. In a tiny strained voice, “Baby… baby please open up. Please, I’m begging.” You didn’t think you’d ever heard him in much desperation. “Y/n please. God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He started bawling. You could tell from the sounds behind the door that he had done just like you and had thrown himself into the floor, curling up against his knees. You could hear him quietly sobbing into them. You couldn’t explain it, but it made you feel even worse. To know that he was on the other side, feeling just as badly. You almost felt sorry for him. Almost. You could hear his hushed cries for at least 5 minutes before things started to settle down. It calmed you, but also made your heart start to race when the air was now filled with complete silence for the first time since you’d arrived home.

• You heard Chan sniff. You could tell he was trying to collect himself. Suddenly, you heard a tiny knock again. You didn’t respond. In the most diminutive voice you’ve ever heard, he whispered out, “I love you. And I am so sorry.” He sat there for a few seconds, contemplating if he should even keep going. Why would you care what he had to say anymore? He was the biggest asshole, and there was no coming back from that. He didn’t mean any of what he said in the slightest. All he knew is that he was hurt, so he wanted to hurt you back. God, he wished he didn’t. He wished he wasn’t the most useless human on the face of the earth. All he had wanted to find in life was you. He spent forever trying to earn you, to get you to give him the time of day, and now look at him. He was disgusted in himself. How could he ever come back from this? How could he ever come back from you? There was no coming back from you. It was either you or no one.

• He continued to whisper, to plea, to cry using only his voice. “I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I genuinely… I don’t,” you heard him blow out a slow exhale. “I don’t know what came over me. I know I need serious help, and I want to get it. It’s just- it’s just-“ the tears started to fall slowly. “When I thought about you with Felix… You, my perfect fucking girl, with another man… Someone else holding you. Someone else taking you. Someone else kissing your perfect little face…” he cried. “Y/n I just lost it. I saw red… And in that moment, nothing could stop me. If I wasn’t such a fucking idiot, I would have shut up. I would have let you talk to me about it. And I should have. But I am the absolute biggest fucking loser on this earth. I am so sorry. You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know that I truly did not mean a single word of what I said. You are the most perfect person I have ever known. I am so in love with you that it hurts- it hurts to know that I caused you any pain at all, let alone this. I’m not asking you to ever forgive me, but just know that I will never forgive myself. I love you, y/n.”

• You remained silent again. You were trying to take in everything Chan had said, to try and store it all in your brain. But you were exhausted and could barely keep up. You listened as he began to cry once more.

• “If you want me to go, then I’ll go. I can find somewhere else to stay and you can have some peace,” he weeped and wiped at his eyes. “No matter what happens, just know that you were the best thing to ever happen to me. I will never love anyone the way that I love you. You will forever be the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and the last face I see before I close my eyes.” He was sobbing uncontrollably, his words now muffled, as he uses his hands to cover his face. “In my last days, when my body finally gives in, I will thank God for allowing me to have such a woman in my life, only if for a while. Your name will be the last word that I ever utter and your soul will be the last thought I ever have. I promise, y/n, it is a privilege to love you and I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel otherwise. I never deserved you in the first place.”

• He sat for another moment, and you could hear him take a deep breath, almost choking on the fluid collected in his throat. You heard a rustling motion as he pushed himself up slowly off the floor and then shuffle his way back to his room.

• He stopped dead in his tracks, sure he was being delusional. He turned his body back toward the path he’d just walked. He wasn’t delusional. The door was cracked open. “Baby? Did you do that? Is it okay if I come in?” He spoke softly towards you.

• “Yes,” you finally strained out. You told yourself that you shouldn’t do it. But you knew why you did. You loved him back. Everything he just said about you is exactly how you felt about him. You believed him when he said he didn’t mean the words he spoke to you. You also believed him when he said he wanted to get help. I guess more than anything, you believed he was truly sorry. You weren’t going to be able to live with yourself if you gave up on him like that- to live in a world not knowing whether this life with him could have been beautiful. To live in a world where you had to constantly think about him and if he still loves you as much as you love him. No matter how much your brain tried to make you say no, you just couldn’t. Not on him. That’s not how your heart works.

• He slowly eased his way inside the door frame, gently walking so as to not startle you. You could barely make him out with only a small amount of light from the hall peaking in, but you could always make out those loose curls. Seeing his beautiful, swollen, tear-covered face, you let out another small cry for yourself.

• “My sweet baby,” Chan extended his body down to you. He took your face in both of his hands and brought his face right to your level. He stroked your cheek with his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. He then tilted his head slightly up and yours slightly down, to leave the most gentle, lingering kiss on your forehead. You felt it burn into your skin. Not in a bad way. In a way that you had been craving it and didn’t even know until now. In a way that was searing away any wounds that you may have gotten. He pulled his face back and wrapped his arms around you tightly in a hug.

• “I love you baby. I’m so sorry. I will do everything I possibly can to show you that,” he whispered into the hair at the back of your neck.

• “You promise you didn’t mean what you said?” you whispered back, sniffling.

• “Pinky promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

• “Then I love you too,” you pulled him back off of you slightly. You wanted to make sure he could see the entirity of your face. “Which is why you are going to therapy.”

• He giggled like a small child. “I think that’s a good idea,” he smiled brightly. “How about we start that therapy with this?” He leaned in to join his lips with yours in the deepest kiss you think you’ve ever felt. Maybe this is therapy for you both.

Mars in Sagittarius

[lesbianashleywilliams]

So those of you who have been following me may have noticed that I all but disappeared for about three months...well, that's because I've been planning to go to Japanese language school, and the wheels have really begun to start turning!!!!!!

I have been given the opportunity of my lifetime to be able to attend a Japanese language course at the International Study Institute in Tokyo's Shinjuku Ward. The course runs for a year, with the opportunity to extend it to two years, if my grades and money are sound [insert sound of children cheering here].

Being able to study Japanese locally and long-term has been a life goal of mine since I was fourteen. Though I'll probably never be able to fulfill my teenage dream of being an interpreter/translator for expats, this feels like the next best thing. Due to suffering from several comorbid chronic conditions that have majorly altered my life, most notably the beast known as systemic lupus erythematosus, I will probably never be able to seize another chance like this ever again. I won't be going in as a total novice, as I was able to take a year's worth of 1000-level Japanese language courses in college…before I had to drop out…… Since then I've been self-studying and using language exchange apps for practice, but nothing will beat the experience of using it in the day-to-day.

At this point in time (January 2024), my first six months of tuition have already been paid for. I am currently in a quiet waiting period while I wait to get to the next steps of the Certificate of Eligibility/Student Visa process. Before that, though, I need to secure my flight and housing. For the sake of my health, safety, privacy and comfort, a sharehouse will not be an option; I will have to seek a private apartment. I am here today to request assistance with the aforementioned flight and initial housing costs. It's still too early to commit to either of those, but:

The average cost of flexible one-way flights from where I am to either of the two Tokyo metro airports (Haneda and Narita) is running around $1200

I am doing some preliminary apartment scouting and am hoping not to exceed $800 per month (I will be traveling with suitcases and will need to properly store them). The apartments I am looking at do not require a security deposit or key money, but will probably come with a guarantor fee.

Now because I'm not going over there through one of the more common avenues - through a university or a job - I have to do it myself. Real life has meant that I've had to dig into my bank balance a bit, and after paying for the first six months I'm a little under the 2 million yen (~$14k) threshold that Immigration likes to see for a year's study. I'm lucky enough in that I will at least have a regular source of (unearned) income, as well as a financial sponsor; it's just the bank balance, flight, and accommodation that are hanging me up. Right now I am setting the initial goal at $3000, but I expect to move those goalposts at least once. Any extra will go towards a flight home for the Christmas holidays in December. After that, it'll go towards paying down my credit cards as much as I can prior to leaving the United States.

I can provide my conditional letter of acceptance from ISI, as well as the school invoice and receipt of the bank transfer for the first six months of tuition upon request (identifying information redacted, of course).

Because there's still a couple of months until I'm set to fly out I put together a GoFundMe (now that's a name I haven't used in a while) to idly collect whatever help I can. At the very least I just need this post to circulate enough to eventually cast a wider net outside of Tungle.hell.

GoFundMe

If you can't use GFM, V3nmo and P4ypal are also options:

V3nmo: @/venus3palette

P4ypal: @/fantasytheater

Again: I'm not in that much of a hurry, and the situation isn't dire! Thank you for combing my wall of text!!!!