#i am sorry for this rambling
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readenheim · 1 year ago
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This but I also know the dark version of it. Like A starting to feel it fade and accepting that maybe they can be okay even if it's not meant to be .. and then B loving them so much all of a sudden..so so so so much..maybe too much .And A starts feeling guilty for not being at the same level of love anymore because.. isn't this what they wanted ? And now that they do and B is still such a wonderful person why isn't it just perfect? shouldn't they be swimming in happiness? Are they too greedy ? is that why they're not satisfied? and they can't just let B know because they're just so wonderful .. if they were to feel hurt because of them it would only prove how much of an awful person they are.And B sometimes notices B is not as happy as they thought they'd be . So B starts doubting themselves. And A knows it and knows it's their fault..
And so A fell first , and B fell harder but neither can admit the fall hurt.
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!!!!!!!
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radioroxx · 4 months ago
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bizarrelittlemew · 10 months ago
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i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us
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crows-of-buckets · 2 months ago
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I think romancing Lucanis as a crow is specifically fun bc like.
Imagine you're one of the other talons. Some whelp fucks up a mission to get rid of the antaam, and yet for some reason Viago doesn't kill them (you know he has a soft spot for that crow, his little protege, but you don't mention it. They're out of the way, that's all that matters right now). You go on with your life.
The First Talon dies. You and the other talons gather to watch one of her grandchildren take her place (you never did think Illario would end up in her shoes. He somehow managed to prove you wrong). Suddenly this Crow who fucked up that one job busts in with Lucanis "demon of Vyrantium" dellamorte with them. The two of them take down Illario (they work together so smoothly, like they've done it all their lives. Lucanis threatens to kill Illario over hurting them. You hear Teia cheering them on. You're too busy killing venatori to think about it). Afterwards, the previous first talon whom you thought was DEAD walks in, and names Lucanis first talon. Instead of making his own decision on what to do with his cousin, Lucanis asks the de riva crow what he needs to do?? And listens to what they have to say??
Okay weird. It's whatever, maybe they have good advice (you doubt it. They REALLY fucked up that job). You later find out that Lucanis took a job for them, and you explain his weird behavior away with that. You move on with your life.
Fast forward a few months, Lucanis Dellamorte has killed a god. So has Rook de Riva, the little shit who fucked up the job??? They also possibly killed/tricked/convinced ANOTHER god?
At some gathering of the talons you make a joke about someone needing to assassinate them before their ego gets too big. Suddenly you have not one, but THREE talons threatening to take you out. Viago and Teia you can kind of understand, but Lucanis??? This is where you find out that APPARENTLY Lucanis and rook are a thing. You just threatened the first talon's partner TO HIS FACE.
This random little asshole from house de Riva has THREE different talons wrapped around their finger. Do you know how jarring that has to be for the other talons??? It's so funny to me idk. Rook de Riva and their murder of talons
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secondbeatsongs · 2 years ago
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as a bi person, the bisexual flag brings me infinite joy and always puts a smile on my face, however as a person who has a Passion for Graphic Design, that undersaturated shade of purple infuriates me when it's used digitally
like, on an actual flag - which was its original purpose - it looks great!
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those look fine! lovely, even! with the semi-transparent fabric, the way it catches the sunlight, it looks beautiful!
but now look at how it looks digitally
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the pink and blue are so vibrant compared to the sad, lonely lavender!
and let's look at this statement from Michael Page, the creator of the bi flag:
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(sidenote: he created this flag in 1998, so if his takes on bisexuality is different from yours, it's okay to notice that! a lot has changed since the 90s when it comes to lived experiences and the way we describe them. but, it's also important to respect his thoughts about this and the way he presented them, even if today, we'd probably not say that bi people "blend unnoticeably into both the gay/lesbian and straight communities.")
so in pantone colors, the pink is 226 C, the blue is 286 C, and the purple of the flag is 258 C.
but...here's the deal
Michael talks here about how the key to understanding the symbolism is to know that the purple blends into both the pink and blue. and on a physical flag, I think you can see that!
but digitally, it absolutely does not blend. it clashes badly, and looks oddly separate from the other two colors.
which got me wondering...what purple do you get if you actually blend 226 C and 286 C?
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oh! oh, my god.
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look at that! look at how nicely it fits between those colors!
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look at it next to the original color scheme! look at how much more vibrant the purple is!
and friends. this is just blending through rgb! you get even more purple variations when you use other color spaces!
let's compare all of them:
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(top: original, lab. middle: lrgb, lch. bottom: rgb, hsl)
look at all of the different purple options you can get just by combining these two colors!
if you want almost too-vibrant saturation, you can go hsl, if you want something more relaxed that's closer to the original, you can go lab or lrgb. and if you want to split the difference, lch is bright and violet, while rgb is there with its saturated but darker purple.
anyway, I guess I don't really have a point here? this isn't so much an informational post as it is Me Getting Weird About Colors, but I think it is a useful lesson about how colors look very different on screens compared to how they look on objects in real life.
and sometimes, I think it's okay to compensate for that.
out of all of these, this is my favorite bi flag:
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it's the one where the colors were blended in lab color space. for me, the lighter, softer purple is close enough to the original bi flag purple, while also feeling like a smoother blend of the blue and pink
but that's just me! and it might not even look the same to you, since every screen is different, because technology is a nightmare!
anyway, thank you for coming with me on this colorful journey! I will now retreat back to inkscape and make pained sounds about inkstitch gradients until something tangible pulls me back into reality
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arrowsperpetualcringe · 1 month ago
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Gojo's birthday art fucking kills me
He just looks like. "Look at all my hoes. I get SO many bitches"
Like
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LOOK AT HIS ARM AROUND NANAMI. AND HIS OTHER ARM RESTING ON GETO
LOOOOOOOKKK
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Born to shoujo forced to shonen.
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bubbarnes · 2 months ago
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“... yeah, I think Bucky could be a great dad.”
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lazylittledragon · 6 months ago
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taking all my american followers by the shoulders. listen to me. just because you have a more promising candidate now doesn't mean you just assume it's going to be fine and don't bother voting. assuming trump wasn't going to win is how you got here in the first place so you go out and fucking vote for harris and give everyone a fighting chance.
also if you're still in the 'they're both as bad as eachother' delirium, please take your head out from between your cheeks and consider that your options are an imperfect president and the literal worst person alive who is going to get masses of people killed. i've said it like this before, but it's like deciding between maybe getting food poisoning or definitely having a brain aneurysm. take your pick i guess but don't be surprised when you drop dead.
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itsatorchwoodthing · 6 months ago
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how many times did jack go “and now the doctor is going to show up and save the earth like they always do” but they dont, they dont show up, no blue box, no screwdriver, nothing, and it gets worse, abbadon, no doctor, 456, no doctor, the miracle, no doctor, do they care? do they really love earth, humans, like they say they do? maybe they’re only capable of loving one at the time, show them the beauty of the universe, let them burn bright before they burn out, but do they really love humans like you do? did they spend the last 200 years protecting the human race? not really, not like you did. you spent every waking hour praying to them to show up, because they solve everything with grace and wit, and everytime you try to solve anything you end up covered in blood, you succeed but it’s always at a cost, and they’re nowhere to be seen. do they care? maybe not, but you do, and you’re going to do anything to save the planet you now call home. and it’s ironic, right? they put you in this position, do they know? you’re immortal and stuck there, forever. you’re a fixed point in time because you have to be there, it’s your job, it’s your duty, immortality is not a mistake, it cant be, it has to have a higher purpose, right? right. so you wake up every day, shakes off those feelings of ‘they’re gonna come, one day or another’ and get to work, because no, jack, they’re not gonna show up, you have to save the earth, you have to remember everything they taught you, roll up your sleeves and do it. do it messily, but do it. save the earth, cause they’re not gonna show up. you learned your lesson, you’re alone in this.
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lauraneedstochill · 6 months ago
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if I see one more post about Aegon “bullying Aemond his entire life”, I will go fucking ballistic, I swear to g—
scratch that, I will actually go ballistic right now. this is the “Aegon doesn’t deserve such a shitty treatment” club and I’m the self-proclaimed CEO. we are about to do some analyzing and reading so BUCKLE UP.
gonna make one thing clear first — Aemond was bullied when he was a child. no one denies that, no excuses can be made for that. I’d only like to note that there wasn’t only one bully. here’s a quick reminder:
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now that we successfully counted to three, let’s look over Aegon’s other horrible crimes relationship with Aemond throughout the years.
📍 the night Aemond lost his eye (S1EP7), Rhaenyra suggests he should be “sharply questioned” (she means tortured) so they can learn who told him that her sons were bastards. Viserys, in his perpetual denial, angrily asks Aemond “who spoke these lies” to which he replies that it was Aegon. it is clear that Aemond does that to deflect suspicion from their mother but his words come as a surprise to Aegon.
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he’s in a tough spot — Viserys demands the answers “as their king”, not their father (to signify his authority and pressure them into telling the truth). and Alicent screamed in Aegon’s face and slapped him just a minute ago, so he may be less eager to defend her. he can easily lie and say that he overheard some maids gossiping or that he can’t remember where the rumor came from. instead, it takes Aegon about 5 seconds to back Aemond up.
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📍 we didn’t get many scenes with young Aegon and Aemond in general, but here’s a short bit people keep overlooking: when Harwin and Criston start fighting, Aemond and Aegon instantly gravitate toward each other. and moreover, Aegon puts a hand over Aemond’s back (which to me is either a protective or a comforting gesture). what a horrible brother, truly.
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📍 next we see them all grown up before dinner in S1EP8. I think it’s safe to assume that if Aegon has been bullying Aemond all these years, Aemond wouldn’t want to spend a second in his company. he’s seated between Helaena and Otto, both of whom are dear to him, so Aemond can stay at the table and chat with them. and YET, not only does Aemond voluntarily talks to Aegon, but their conversation seems friendly (you can barely hear it in the show so here’s the enhanced audio). Aemond makes a joke about Aegon’s drinking habits — Aegon quips back — and then, what a shocker! Aemond starts venting his frustrations to Aegon (“Even when the noose is so tight, they expect us to break bread”). nothing would’ve stopped him from venting to Otto but Aemond stays with Aegon. he wouldn’t have done that if there hadn’t been some level of trust between them. he wouldn’t have done that if he hated Aegon’s guts.
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📍 at dinner, when Aegon pisses Jace off and the brunet springs to his feet, Aemond stands up too, which forces Jace to act as if nothing happened and come up with a toast. Aegon watches him with a shit-eating grin on his face. it’s the face that screams “I know you won’t dare to act up in front of my brother and my brother has my back”.
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when Aemond makes a toast and calls Rhaenyra’s sons “strong”, Aegon raises a cup to that. he can sit this one out — Aemond has his personal vendetta against the boys, and it would be safer for Aegon not to meddle. but what does he do instead? when Luke gets up from the table (clearly intending to go to Aemond), Aegon instantly stands up, comes up to Luke and not just stops him but slams his face into the table right in front of Rhaenyra without thinking twice. and it doesn’t look like Aegon is just messing with him — no, it looks like he wanted to do that for a while. like Aegon finally got his chance to stand up for his brother too. AND he also stops Baela from joining the fight.
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📍 S1EP9 is when we get a glimpse of Aemond’s ambitions: he deems himself better than Aegon, he thinks he deserves to be king. but once he finds Aegon and they get into a fight, it turns out that Aegon knows that Aemond is a better choice. he doesn’t want to fight him, he begs Aemond to let him go. and Aemond can do that — Criston has his back to them, so Aemond could’ve pretended that Aegon managed to break free. and even once they caught Aegon, I have no doubt that Aemond could’ve helped him escape. but it seems that, despite his displeasure, Aemond values his family the most. he can’t betray his mother’s trust, and he knows Aegon is the first in line to the throne. Aemond envies him, yes, he may even hate him because of that. but he values his family the most.
📍 as @florisbaratheons noted, during the coronation scene, when Aegon glances at his family, Aemond looks right at him and gives that tiny nod that says “I may hate this and think I am better for the job as king. But I’ve got your back.” I like that Aemond is the one who keeps eye contact in that scene. He could’ve turned away to signal his dissatisfaction with the situation, there wouldn’t have been any consequences for that. But he didn’t.
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📍 what I find interesting about S1EP10 is the beginning of Aemond’s dialogue with Luke. that’s the boy Aemond wished to get back at for years and yet, he starts by saying “Did you think that you could just fly about the realm trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”. Aemond could’ve skipped that part — imagine him saying smth along the lines of “Wait, Lord Strong! Don’t you think you and I have other matters to discuss?” (to which Luke answers that he doesn’t want to fight and the conversation goes on). instead, Aemond makes a point to remind Luke: my brother is the king, and I came here on his behalf. you can argue that Aemond doesn’t do it for Aegon specifically but for his family in general. but Aegon is a part of the family, and S1 Aemond has his priorities straight.
📍 as much as I hate comparing the show and the book (these are two different things and should be viewed as such), I’d like to remind you that Aegon was the only one who stood by Aemond’s side after Luke’s death. I wonder why we didn’t get that scene… I guess it’s because it would be kinda hard to call Aegon “the main bully” after he literally throws Aemond a feast. but we do get to see Aegon supporting his brother: in S2EP1 he welcomes Aemond at the small council meeting despite his mother’s protests (“Aemond is my closest blood and my best sword”). and he trusts Aemond wholeheartedly, that much is obvious.
📍 let’s get to the most controversial part — the brothel scene in S2EP3: some people believe Aegon is being a bully at that moment. those people seem to forget one little detail:
it’s been only a few days after the death of Aegon’s son whose murder was a direct result of Aemond’s ruthless actions. does Aemond ever address it? does he express his condolences? does he mayhaps help to catch the killers, being the skilled fighter that he is? the answer is NO.
I do think Aegon’s joke was cruel (I wrote a whole post about it) but that’s all it ever was — a JOKE. the humiliation comes not from the things he says but from the fact that Aemond is found in a vulnerable position and surrounded by a group of strangers while his brother laughs at him. TGC explained it best:
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I also love @notbloodraven’s take on that scene:
Aegon lashing out so cruelly at Aemond seems to be an effort in making Aemond feel as badly as he does and blaming him for Jaehaerys without actually saying the words.
would this be the right way to act? no. but there’s no right way to grieve and to cope with the loss — and HIS SON WAS BEHEADED so maybe take 1% of the sympathy you show your favorite character(s) and cut Aegon some slack.
+ other things worth talking about:
📍 @bietrofastimoff23 analyzed S2EP3 beautifully and I can’t help but mention the scene that happens before Aegon goes to the brothel. it’s the moment when Larys suggests that Alicent and Aemond are plotting against Aegon. he isn’t surprised by the idea that his mother can do that — but the second his brother is mentioned, Aegon’s face falls and he shakes his head no. because there is no way Aemond would ever do that to him. and instead of asking for any proof, he asks Larys “who spreads these lies?” and then commands him to “tend to them.” Aegon can ask him to spy on Aemond, to find any dirt on him, find any weaknesses he can use — he does not.
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📍 it turns out to be true — Aemond was plotting behind his brother’s back. which is treason btw (I don’t think Criston intended to keep things from Aegon — he probably believed that Aemond would let Aegon in on their plan). and Aegon does have the power to remind Aemond of his place — he can throw him off the council with a snap of his fingers, he can take offense at Aemond’s attempt to publicly humiliate him (their conversation in High Valyrian — Ewan himself calls it a “public execution”). but that’s not what happens: as TGC phrased it, Aemond’s betrayal “breaks a bit of Aegon’s heart off”. an actual bully would’ve immediately pushed back, but Aegon silently sits down and doesn’t argue, he’s so defeated he can’t utter a word. he has the means to be a bully but he doesn’t contemplate it for a second.
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📍 I don’t want to talk about S2EP6 because it makes me sick but I will reiterate one thing: never ONCE Aegon made fun of Aemond’s disability or tried to cause him any physical harm. just want to point that out.
there is no moral to this story, I guess. if you managed to read till the very end, thank you. if you still hate Aegon, that’s your opinion and you are allowed to have one — but please, for the love of god, just stop making shit up. no, Aemond was NOT bullied as an adult, absolutely nothing suggests that he was. Aegon was naive to blindly trust him and it backfired on him, that’s the actual story. and if you are so eager to hold Aegon accountable for his mistakes, maybe it’s time for Aemond to take responsibility for his actions too.
+ some of my favorite critical posts about Aegon and Aemond: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.
P.S. I will not argue with anyone so please don’t waste your time — I consider all my arguments solid and that’s enough for me. if you are thinking of sending me anon hate, pls go take a walk instead, it will do you more good. 🌿
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eterniravioli · 2 months ago
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the thing about charles leclerc is his hunger runs deep and i think that’s the place where sainz has never been able to match him
because objectively sainz is a pretty good driver but it’s like he views his drives as a separate entity, an accomplishment to be won where charles is his drive, he views them as an extension of himself
it’s why sainz so often after races will be placated with a p2, p3, p4, even p5 but even on a day when charles made up 16 places to go from the back of the grid to the podium he won’t be happy
i think their behavior after the race exemplifies this because while carlos immediately turned to congratulate mclaren, you could see charles was mourning something. and it’s not as if he was displaying bad sportsmanship, when they were in the cooldown room and on the podium he congratulated zak and lando, but those moments right after the race you could see he wasn’t even thinking about himself, or his own race, but what the team had lost
in the end, carlos sainz is a driver for ferrari while charles leclerc is a ferrari driver
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hurricanek8art · 3 months ago
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HELLO HI YES I AM CURRENTLY GOING INSANE OVER THE NYCC SW BOOKS PANEL BECAUSE LOOK AT PRETTY JEDI ARMOR
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THE IMPLICATIONS THAT THE JEDI TEMPLE GUARD ARMOR ARE SOME OF THE LAST LIVING STYLISTIC REMNANTS OF THE HIGH REPUBLIC. THE (fully my assumptions ahead) POSSIBILITY THAT THE ARMOR IS PASSED DOWN FROM THE ERA OF FIGHTING AGAINST THE SITH. I WILL BE CHEWING ON THE WALLS UNTIL WE GET CONTEXT AND BACKSTORY FOR THIS.
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dizzybizz · 11 months ago
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
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flying-fangirls · 5 months ago
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Not to be an English major, but my genuine favorite part of Malevolent is how it handles its themes. Overall Malevolent tackles such profound and interesting ideas to chew on, but it's specifically the approach it takes to those ideas that really gets me going.
For example, one of the major themes across several seasons and characters is identity. The podcast asks pretty standard questions like "How do you define yourself?" and "How do others define you?" But it doesn't choose to stop there! It constantly expands on that idea, and it also asks things like "Which of those definitions is the 'real' you?" and "Are any of them right, are any of them wrong?" and "Is there even a singular definitive version of you?"
Malevolent works out from one idea and poses all these rich lines of discussion and questioning, and then just. Doesn't provide an answer! Or, at least, not a single, one-size-fits-all answer. Instead, it gives us multiple possibilities:
John's arc tells us that your identity is what you make— what you say, what you decide— and no one else's definition of you matters. Arthur's arc tells us that you can get stuck in a rigid, self-deprecating personal identity, so you need others' perspectives to help you see and love the real "you." Larson's story tells us that you do not have the right to selectively accept/deny parts of your identity and actions, and that others can see the whole of "you" whether or not you take accountability for it. Noel's story tells us that you can choose what parts of your past define you, and that leaving behind all the other versions of yourself can be beautiful and empowering. Kayne's story tells us that leaving behind other versions of yourself is akin to murder, killing off the pieces that you don't like and pretending like you've evolved past your own self. Yellow's arc tells us that your identity is fluid and can easily be influenced or manipulated by what others tell you, and by that point you've changed your own self-definition to something entirely new that can be just as true or untrue as the old you.
With all of these characters and with every other character throughout the show, we get a unique answer to the question "What is identity?" And if you look further at all the characters, you can break down their different arcs over the seasons and find even more answers just within that one character's development and story. And some of the answers we get correspond, and some of them contradict, and none of them are the right answer, and all of them are the right answer.
Malevolent takes one idea, and then it crafts an incredibly nuanced and humanistic exploration of said idea that adapts with respect to whatever situation or character it is applied to. And it uses this approach with all of its themes: identity, morality, guilt, grief, love, hope, etc.
Malevolent knows that life is messy, that people are complicated and contradictory and diverse and ever-changing, that no part of the universe or humanity can ever be explained or defined in a simple manner. Malevolent knows all that, and it wants to help us understand that too.
Malevolent shows us that nothing can ever be easily understood or answered, and it shows us that that fact is beautiful.
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shkika · 7 months ago
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i need a name for this bug
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semperamans · 7 months ago
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all i can think about is soft!benny :'(
benny who doesn't give a fuck when the boys hoot and holler and give him shit whenever you're within ten feet of one another. benny who tips his chin, fights a smile, and docks his jaw atop your head as you stand in front of him while cal prattles on about stacking donuts on his dick. benny who tugs you into his lap at any and every opportunity because he wants you close close close. benny who let you paint his nails because you asked so nicely. benny who promises each time he leaves your sight that he'll return. benny who helps you slide into his jacket; who grabs the lapels and presses a kiss on your nose before letting you go. benny who takes you on late-night rides because you told him you couldn't see the stars for the light pollution. benny who doesn't talk, not much, but never hesitates to whisper a firm "i love you." in your ear when he gets the chance. benny who smiles so warmly at you when you're rambling because jesus christ you're the most darling thing he's ever laid eyes on. benny who knows this life is dangerous and wants to protect you. benny who laces your fingers together in crowds. benny who stands outside of bathrooms whenever you and your girlfriends are in there. benny who lets you be you. who loves you in the most purest of ways because you love him. benny :'(
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