#i am so tired of tagging things lmao
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16 hours of making gifs today lol...... This show is so goddamn good. I've never done anything like this with any other piece of media.
I finished making all the scenes that i couldnt get out of my head. The brainrot is real.
Thankfully, now that I finished them, I think I can function during the weekday LMFAO.
Enjoy the GIFs! I'll prolly post a few more in the coming days, depending on my schedule.
Can't wait for Act 2!
#personal tag#goodnight everyone i am exhausted but im glad i finished what i wanted to do today#im so glad arcane releases in the weekends lmao#if its one thing that’s still bothering me its one set that i cant seem to grasp to color well…. its rlly annoying and i think#im going to re gif it next time when im not tired
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Matching pyjamas mayhaps?:3
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bungo stray dogs dazai#soukoku#skk#my art#bsd art#Ngl this looks like loungewear I think lmao im sorry#I legit looked up pajamas and then i was like…hmm#on my first attempt it did look more like pyjamas I promise#the height difference is not accurate SHHH im sorry by the time I ‘realized’ I got too lazy—-#every time I post I hope things dont look over saturated I fr dont know#I stare on different devices sometimes to check but#this i what I get for posting late instead of sleeping#what sleep#I am going to be so tired tomorrow *rambles in tags*#I read my tags later on and wonder why did I write an essay
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Jonelias Week Day 1 (Which is definitely today I swear), for the prompt "No Powers AU"
This one... maybe got away from me. This is actually only the first half of what I've written so far, and probably the first third overall! I do plan to post this to Ao3 at some point (although I suspect I'll need to do a lengthy round of editing first lmao). It's some very self-indulgent nonsense, which is a lot of what I write, but now it's getting put in the main tags of a ship during said ship's event week. So. It may also be a little bit "aromantic dude tries to figure out what having a crush is supposed to be like." Also a lot of "dude who took Principals of Accounting once pretending it knows what office work is like." Anyway, quick warning before we begin, and the rest will be under the read-more:
Stalking (played for laughs) for most of the fic.
Just. A weird amount of obsession.
Ok that should be it I think. Fic under the cut.
Jon's new boss was, quite possibly, the most boring man in the world. He wore the same outfit every day (pale dress shirt with dark unpatterned tie and gray slacks and matching suit jacket). The only personal effect in his entire office was a potted plant on the windowsill (some sort of succulent, and definitely fake). He always arrived to work exactly half an hour early and left exactly half an hour late. The only hobby he appeared to show any interest in was scheduling, which he seemed to find both deeply engaging and remarkably irritating. In fact, he was apparently so opposed to the idea of mixing his work with his personal life that he might as well not have existed beyond the walls of their office. Jon had never been more fascinated by anyone else in his entire life.
It stared with the transfer to the accounting department. Elias had met with him personally to get him acclimated to his new role. He had been blandly polite, and blandly handsome, and Jon had stopped listening to him about five minutes into their conversation. It was probably bad form, really. The software Elias was droning on and on about sounded like it was about to become a central feature of his days. He really should've been paying attention to it. Instead, he pretended to make eye contact while zeroing in on the top of Bouchard's forehead (a very useful trick, really) and became inordinately focused on the small lock of hair that had fallen across it. It was terribly distracting, and Jon had wondered how he hadn't noticed it. And then he wondered how it had come to be there. And then he had built up an entire story involving a murder, an illicit affair with the assistant director of marketing, and the potted succulent. And then he had noticed Bouchard eying him with what could've been suspicion or amusement or irritation or nothing whatsoever, and had been forced to rapidly pretend to care about their company's bad debt expense policy. Bouchard had indulged him, and had spoken with the calm authority of someone who knew what they were talking about, and had even managed to avoid being overtly condescending (a feat forever out of Jon's reach). At the end he had shaken Jon's hand (with a nice, firm grip), and had told him "I'm looking forward to working with you, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful member of our team." Jon had left that meeting with a mind shrouded in a fog of boredom and a faint sensation of warmth which he decided was best attributed to curiosity and left otherwise unexamined. Over the next few weeks, Jon had tried to subtly inquire into Bouchard's life. At the time, he had been naively under the impression that surely he must have let slip something about his life; some odd quirk or funny story or harmless bit of information which could justify Jon's blooming curiosity. Unfortunately; "He lives in Chelsea, I'm pretty sure?" (Sasha) "He's currently in a meeting. Honestly Jon, you'll be better off just sending an email. Now can I please get back to work?" (Rosie, probably lying about the meeting) "He actually lives here in the office. Set up a cozy little home away from home in one of the storage closets and sneaks out at night to raid the canteen. And he's having an affair with the assistant director of marketing." (Tim, definitely lying (but maybe a mind reader? Also, full of brilliant ideas for places Jon could maybe set up a cot whenever he needs to stay overnight)) Clearly, Jon would have to take matters into his own hands if he wanted answers. That was fine. It could be his own private little research project.
Jon liked to think that the entire thing had actually been quite reasonable, and that he had acted within the bounds of their pre-established relationship as employee and supervisor. Surely any rational person had to realize that nobody could possibly be that uninteresting. Anyone would be curious as to what dark secrets Bouchard his behind his well-tailored suits and polite, professional demeanor. … perhaps most rational persons would not meticulously record the movements, behavior, and daily appearance of their colleague in a discreet notebook (with annotations, color-coding, and graphs where appropriate), but Jon had always prided himself on his dedication to research and understanding. So far Jon had collected frustratingly little data. If Bouchard was hiding anything, it wasn't apparent from his schedule (see pages 8-13, figure 2.b), his eating habits (see page 22), or his lone plant (see page five, figure 1.c). His breaks did seem specially timed to avoid other people (and he appeared not to engage in many social behaviors generally), but he never acted irritated or otherwise unhappy to encounter one of his subordinates, so Jon wasn't entirely sure if it was deliberate avoidance or simple coincidence. Really, the only truly odd thing about him was his inexplicable interest in Jon. That very morning, for example, Bouchard had stopped by his cubicle for a fifteen minute discussion on the upcoming Annual Team Luncheon, an event Jon had never attended before (due to an annual migraine which coincidentally always happened to occur on the exact date of the luncheon), which Jon did not plan to attend, and which honestly sounded like some sort of violation of the Geneva Convention. The topic itself was not especially odd (small talk was an archaic tradition which had stubbornly clung on in every workplace Jon had ever set foot in), but Bouchard's low propensity for inter-office socialization combined with the fact that he had both chosen Jon specifically as his conversational partner was… highly suspicious. Most people who encountered Jon inevitably concluded that he was more effort than he was worth (an attitude Jon mostly appreciated).
And of course, there had also been their interaction two days ago, when Elias had paused briefly to inquire as to whether Jon would be staying late, and what he was working on, and if he might perhaps consider heading home soon because there was only so much overtime they could pay him. Or on Friday, when he had managed to hold two separate conversations with Jon where very little was said. Honestly, Jon somewhat suspected that Elias had spoken to him more in the past few weeks than he had spoken to any of their colleagues for the entire time Jon had been there to observe him. Most of Jon's notes were now dedicated to their interactions. From his cot in the unused storage room (which was indeed a good place to stay overnight, thank you Tim), he could jot down everything he recalled about their interaction; it had begun at 8:32 and had concluded at 8:47; the weather was warm and slightly humid, although the office interior remained at a comfortable 21 °C. Bouchard's shirt had been a nice, cool gray, which complemented the silver of his eyes. Jon (who had been busy digging for his favorite pen (the ink was a lovely deep green color, and it was usually kept on the left side of the top desk drawer, and Jon had no idea where else it could have possibly gone)) had settled on "irritation" as his tone, which Bouchard either had not noticed or had not cared enough to acknowledge. He had easily dominated the conversation, and Jon could admit in the sanctity of his research journal that his voice had been soothing enough to cool away some of Jon's annoyance. He wrote his conclusion: Subject behaved near-identically in tone, posture, body language, and apparent mood as he has in all previous communications. Subject displayed no strong thoughts or opinions on subject of discussion nor conversational partner. Interaction was pleasant but slightly dull, no new information discovered. It was almost exactly the same as every previous conclusion. Jon had to admit, so many months with so little progress was… discouraging. He shifted on the narrow mattress and winced when his movements aggravated his backache (which was surely unrelated to his frequent occupancy of the cot). It was becoming more and more apparent that the only possible solution was to do some actual, direct investigation. His first idea (break into Bouchard's office) seemed a tad far (also, he didn't know how to pick locks). His second idea (follow him home) seemed a stretch further than the previous one, and was perhaps best saved as a last resort. His third idea (something something computers? (perhaps "idea" was a bit generous)) would almost certainly require Sasha, who would have questions Jon couldn't answer. He flipped idly through his notes, half-skimming, half-thinking. It was only when his gaze landed on figure 2.b, Weekly Schedule of E. Bouchard, that he actually came up with something reasonable. Something actionable.
#wish there was a way to search for all italicized text in a wordpad document... cause tumblr de-italicized it all lol#anyway jon manages to be an eye-aligned Freak even when the eye doesn't exist#worried this is ooc tbh but fuck it we ball ig.#anyway hope you enjoyed.#i am. i am so unbelievably nervous about posting this in a way that invites the scrutiny of people beyond my trusted mutuals.#anyway i'm personally deeply entertained by the idea of elias trying to be the most boring version of himself possible.#like just for fun. he's having a great time and nobody else is sure that he has a personality. idk it just speaks to me#also i made them accountants because that's my destiny. there are spreadsheets in my future. the stars have spoken.#but that's ok because i like them. they're kinda soothing honestly.#i really enjoyed principals of accounting tbh.#i barely know what i'm typing at this point i'm super tired lmao.#but this isn't about me this is about Them.#jon saw elias (barely talks to anyone. has never mentioned a personal life. primarily focused on Work.) and went 'wow. freakish.#i've never seen this behavior in anyone before. anyway i'm going to avoid speaking w/ my coworkers whenever possible#and move into a storage closet so i can stay late whenever i want.'#elias 100% knows about that btw. i imagine its the sort of thing that would be difficult to hide. he's not gonna say anything tho <3#anyway sorting tags#jonelias#joneliasweek#joneliasweek2024#sparkwrites#anyway time for sims4 i think.
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One unfortunate side effect of Coven's luck charms and potions is her patrons' bad luck gets chased onto her, making her way more prone to accidents than usual.
I thought it'd be funny if a common occurrence for her is: one of her experimental potions falls off a shelf. She goes to clean up the mess and cuts her finger on the glass. She instinctively puts her finger in her mouth to soothe the cut, and ends up experiencing the effects of the potion. It happens to her way more often than she'd like to admit. Anyways these are some instances of different potions mishaps she gets into lol
#rainyart#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#coven#original character#character design#eurrgghh... idc about tagging stuff anymore... too tired.....#im so tired and i am behind for class... i wanna think about her more but no energy no ideas. im so sad shes been one of the only things#keeping me chugging lmao
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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sorry guys I've been drawing a naked fish man (for anatomy practice)
Oh and this was just supposed to be practice for drawing using my finger btw I think my brain went on autopilot or something
#Wait hold on I haven't used tumblr in a hot minute I forgot how to tag things 💀#Oh Nightmares the image doesn't want to upload#Anyways#sebastian solace#roblox pressure#doodle#As you can see I got a little bit carried away. Yeah. Just a bit definitely#Somehow I spent 6 hours on this?????#My hand hurts lmao#This was literally just supposed to be some little doodles using my finger#What happened why did I render it#Yes I am having Pressure brainrot#Rotating this guy in my brain rn#I wanted to add fins and scars and stuff but I'm still not sure how to do it#Also I didn't want to accidentally mess up the drawing#Also also my hand is so tired
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I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.
for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.
when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.
equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?
I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?
I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!
BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS
(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)
#cant even say its only het shippers because lgbt shippers do it too#i enjoy the ships i see more as equals. like cynonari and xingyue for example#first ones that came to mine lol#everyone feminizes the shit out of nari calling him cynos wide constantly but they're both strong leader types with a soft side#wife*#THEYRE SO EQUAL???? AND THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO STRONG????#then xingyue is funny because ive seen people frame BOTH yingxing and dan feng as the “wife” at different times. proof theyre equals!#maybe not proof lmao but you cant say the arrogant craftsman and proud dragon arent equals who get along super well#they arent het opposites at all imo. not even close#i just really enjoy balanced equals over unbalanced opposites. because the feminine is always seen as lesser and weaker than the masculine#and that always bothers me a lot lmao#im probably the minority here. im giving benefit of the doubt that people just never thought about it and do what theyre taught#but if everyone actually orefers this and its on purpose.......please reconsider 🤣#prefers*#lee text#lee rambles#gay#lgbtq#gay ships#one relationship i felt was presented as equals (from best of my memory) was korrasami#they balance each other out and i see them as equals. one doesn't lead over the other. they're both leaders in their own ways. and carers#one reason i dont date is because most people are ovsessed with this unbalance opposite gender roles thing and i cant stand it lmao#obsessed* am tired of tag typos i miss until after i hit enter hfhfhdhdjdjsjs#this was long and rambly but i suddenly had many feelings and needed to say them#*
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hm
thinking of my blorbos but not in a "i love you you love me all is well" way but a "i love you hope you kill me" way lol
#cylas vents#negativity#negative#death wish#lmao#bitches be like '[potentially concerning thing]' and then add 'lol' as if it's funny or a joke lmao#like i mean technically it's not but then again it is bc it's me. like yeah don't worry don't take this seriously don't mind me ok#it doesn't really matter anyway kk. or maybe it's more like I'm the joke.#like idk the thought that like most of my f/os would probably kill me on sight should be less comforting than it is i guess#imagine casually making posts like this and still being like 'ok but maybe im not actually mentally ill maybe im faking maybe im lying to#myself maybe im making excuses maybe im imagining things maybe im just lazy' etc etc#none of the antidepressants since fluoxetine decided it's over have done shit and even my psychiatrist now is always like 'hm. so do you#want to keep trying other things' and like yeah what else can i do? therapy didnt do anything for this specific issue and the tagesklinik#lady didnt really seem to get my issue (well her suggestions for like therapy groups or whatever were more about socialising or whatever#like ??? girl that's really not the main problem here lmao but she also did have a point about how i would have to actually go there every#day etc but like#what else am i supposed to do#hi i am always tired and sometimes struggle to even get out of bed and thats why i worry about getting a job or something bc it could become#too much or whatever but like unfortunately thats kind of a requirement for everything lmao#when psychiatrist asks what i want/expect or whatever i am internally like 'a magic pill that just fixes everything and makes me a normal#functional human being' but like that's just not A Thing (tm)#so. like. what else am i supposed to do.#i don't want to be like this forever#idk how to tag lmai#using stuff like#tw suicidality#tw suicidal#tw suicidal ideation#just feels so over the top and like i dont have the right to use them lol
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
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My week has been so damn stressful on the financial front I haven’t even wanted to make gifs or be online to analyze lmao but. I did start Heartstopper in an attempt to soothe myself with tooth-rotting fluff 😭😂
#I promise I am not gone I’m just stressed AF#my car is becoming a money pit because it just hit 100k#(miles)#and I’m trying desperately to figure out if I want to get a new car#or just sink more $$ into my current car through a few more years to save#student loan payments are also restarting in the US come October#and my side hustle (that supplements my salary the way it HAS to in order to survive in my state)#may or may not be the being October 1 because of a buyout 😭#like. can I afford my life even without that? sure#and the car trouble is just. a pain in the ass either way#but jsksksmskksjsj I grew up hella poor so money things always stress me tf out#and it’s making my anxiety insane lsksjdnd my appetite is nearly gone + I wake up jumpy ad#tight jaw always tired feeling insane it is NOT FUN#anyway. if you read these tags thank u I just needed to rant somewhere LMAO#I should also find a therapist but GOD that’s energy I just do not have rn 😭#the me tag
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I saw that requests were open so can i request romantic BATQFTIM!Mugman headcannons? 🥺 hes my favorite and i would like crumbs of him pls if you could spare some 🙏🏾
Porcelain boy
(Mugman x reader headcanons) - Romantic
AN: 《|| Howdy! Thank you so much for requesting!! I'm a bit burnt out at moment, but I'll be posting again later!||》
Sweet boy, sweetie pie <3
Mugman is a genuine sweetheart, but he can be. . . A bit hyperactive sometimes.
On occasion, you'll have to get him to slow down long enough for you to actually understand what he's saying.
Just like his brother, he tends to keep PDA on the down low. However it isn't out of appearing "weak" so much that it's because he's just nervous.
Enjoys roping you onto little "side-quests" for random supplies the group might need whenever y'all are near a town, he thinks that they're a silly way for him to bond with you!
Even though he seems childish and naive, he’s FAR from perfectly innocent. (being a gun for hire will do that to a guy, I suppose). However, he’ll play dumb in tense situations to try and ease the harsh atmosphere, making an ass of himself to keep the people around him from going for each other’s throats.
(If you look closely, you’ll see him do that a LOT with his brother and Bendy. In all honesty, He’s probably the reason that those two haven’t tried to kill each other yet…)
Speaking of cuphead, Mugman values his brother's opinions A LOT, so if the two of you want to last longer than a few weeks, you’re going to need Cuphead’s approval.
(Which. Isn’t all that hard actually. As long as you aren’t actively trying to manipulate/use/kill Mugman, Cups is fine with whoever Mugs decides to date.)
((Even so, I would be on guard around the older cup twin. If he gets even the tiniest idea that you might be bad for his brother, he’s gonna shut the whole thing down.))
Mugman loves deeply, and tends to stick with the people he cares about through thick and thin. If he decides that you’re “the one”, he’s gonna stay loyal to you until the day he dies!
That being said, he heavily expects the same for you… Which probably isn’t the best thing in the world for folks with commitment issues.
#coffeehouse cups#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#requested#x reader#Also#i am very very tired and I’ve been focusing more on other things that I wanna do#Which is mostly reality shifting#That’s right#ya boy’s a shifter#I have. Too many scripts/DRs and I can’t decide where to go#Lmao my brain is way too busy all the time#so#that sucks#anyway yeah#sorry for venting in the tags
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[ Nikke spoilers for mid September 2024 update mini story / my comments on it. ]
Closeted trans dudes dressing up at the family function like:
It's such a familiar scene, for family to see you dressing up out of obligation and then being like, 'Oh, NOW you're so beautiful, you should do this more often.' And internally, your body is screaming that it feels so wrong, why did you perform your perceived gender for this event! Or like, for me personally too, the whole missing the vibe of the event and dressing up way more than anyone else, and then feeling so out of place. I've joked before about Red Hood having older brother vibes, maybe she has trans vibes for me too now, lol.
Also, strange that Liliweiss is saying 'for the future' to Red Hood. Who, y'know, is basically terminally ill (corrupted). Red Hood doesn't 'have' a future, she just has the present and past. At this point in this mini-story thing (I'm assuming it takes place around the time of the Red Ash event), is Liliweiss aware of the plans to integrate Red Hood into Rapi, and therefore 'have' a future? Or am I just reading into this way too much? Lol. Just sounded like a really weird and inconsiderate thing to say to her.
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That aside, why the fuck did y'all vote the dress over the other two Red Hood skins?! I'm so disappointed, the other two were way cooler and not out of character:
((I mean, I guess it's technically in-character since it's canon now, and has to do with 'old music' but c'mon, man...))
Image description below cut:
First image: Red Hood from Nikke: Goddess of Victory is in a strappy and revealing dress. It's the same colour as her hair. She's embarrassed and standing next to a gramophone, while holding a champagne glass. She is also wearing fingerless half-palm leather gloves. Text: Red Hood: Oh jeez, I can't do this! I just can't!
Next two images: Text: Dialogue:
Commander: You did well in that outfit.
Red Hood: Anything was better than staying at that party, even fighting raptures. I've never been so glad to have a bunch of them show up.
Rapunzel: Your dress is all dirty, though. And the hem is all torn...
Red Hood: Who cares? It's not like I'm going to be wearing this ever again.
Liliweiss: Why not? I thought you'd be keeping it for the future.
Red Hood: No thanks. Not a chance.
Snow White: That's too bad. At least I finally got to see you all dressed up. Can I at least take a picture for posterity?
Red Hood: Absolutely not. I don't want to leave any evidence of this humiliating sight.
Last three images are the Red Hood skins/appearances that we voted on. First image is the feminine dress with the gramophone mentioned before, which won the poll. Second image is Red Hood on a motorcycle with a leather jacket, crop top, mini shorts, and thigh highs. Third image is Red Hood standing next to a wolf, and she is wearing form-fitted high-rise pants, a strappy harness bra-top and collar, and a cropped blazer.
#we couldve had a better mini story than performative femininity#nikke#red hood#red hood nikke#goddess of victory: nikke#nikke goddess of victory#nikke spoilers#CoriPlaysNikke#Cori Plays Nikke#idr which tag i use lol#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#long post#i cant remember if i voted bike or wolf lol the vote i cast was on june 27 and its currently sept 21 so it was a while ago...#...and the link i RTed doesn't tell me which one i voted (usually i try to put a screenshot as a reply but i must have forgotten)#i DEFINITELY did not vote the out of character strappy dress lmao wtf#tbh im keeping her default skin on but its nice they gave us a mini story for it at all#also lmao @ rapunzel looking for the commanders mags. neon already found em (neons personal story) and theyre gay mags (bless)#i mean unless im misremembering that im super tired rn and ive been typing this post for a while and have more to say on another post#other post TBA im too tired to make that one rn. actually i have a lot of nikke things i want to post but i keep forgetting lol#just expect more i have a lot i wanna commentate on but its 1am and i still gotta shower tonight#lol lemme stop nitpicking this post#but yeah the story was like. oh man. ive done that before. countless times. it sucks. i got hella secondhand embarrassment...#...bc ive been there before. in feminine clothes and shit. and ppl suddenly like u a lot more...#...and its like. guys. this is basically a costume. its not who i am. no im not gonna wear a fucking dress all the time.#and it sucks bc it aint safe to come out to justify why you dont wanna look like that all the time. (not that ppl should Have to justify it)#let ppl wear stuff thats ooc and treat it normally dont hound them about it like this bc then it becomes a nightmare
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steroids have decided the two emotions for tonight are Gamer Rage and Deep Yearning Sadness
#marzi speaks#marzivents#i think i’ve sort of hit an energy limit tonight and it’s frustrating me. if i had to guess#probs mourning some of the energy and capability i used to have that i have to build back now#which is. manifesting at being angry that i’m rusty at splatoon lmao#sighhhh. i’m handling the concept of being disabled relatively well i think but shit is still hard abt it#i feel like talking to my brother’s friend abt it exhausted me a little. bc he said a lot of the little annoying things#the kind you can brush off as meaning well but that still add up#shit like ‘when i heard what happened i felt so sorry for you’#and comparing it to an acute injury he had. and saying he was relieved he didn’t have to medically withdraw#(having to medically withdraw from the semester has been the toughest part of this for me. i miss college so bad)#plus he like. did not seem to Get that i am Freshly Disabled!! i can’t walk out in the texas heat for very long#i have energy limits. i’m following a meds schedule (which is admittedly getting easier)#i dunno i’m just tired of it tonight i think. it’s frustrating#this got a bit more vent-y than i intended but ah well we’re here. i’ll give it the vent tag so ppl can block it if needed#i’m really lucky to know so many people that understand. because if every interaction with other people was like today’s i think i’d lose it
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It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)
But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.
And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.
Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay
#ngl I think the biggest ‘culture shock’ ig about being in fandom is that tagging systems have changed so much or something bc I’m used to#walking in a tag and that’s where you find everything#but now it’s different#things are tagged wayyy differently and it means missing things or setting aside time to go down a list to check every blog#I dunno#I always feel a little weird about main tagging sb stuff now bc I’ll check the tag and it’s like oh? things are slowing down#but it’s like nooo bc of tagging and different lanes entirely I’m just missing stuff#idk what this is I’m just talking but it’s strange#I think I’m bad at fandom and that defeats the purpose of it bc it’s recreational#it’s supposed to be fun.#it’s /supposed/ to be fun#I saw a post the other day of someone that’s in this purely for Jace and having similar feelings of being out of the loop and it got me#thinking bc on some part I’ve contributed to it and I’ve probably clogged tags#but the lizard part of my brain that gets the dopamine boost from getting a note is like if I don’t main tag it won’t be seen#but truly either way I am mostly talking to myself lmao#so yah know? idk it should be fun#idk what this is and idk if I’ll fully ever commit to a different/quieter tagging system#bc tumblr is the place I got to scream and be annoying without being told it’s too much and some how I’ve convinced myself that on my own#blog and fandom spaces I enjoy that I’m just annoying#and I don’t wanna think that#I think I’m tired. like hyperfixation hasn’t died but the part of me that’s hungry for being completely consumed by it is tired#my one fear is that I’ll be so annoying that my fic will finish and no one will care#which isn’t true bc I’ll care until the bitter end lmao#idk I’ve talked so much that I’m like oh I’ve done the thing again I should shut up#also this is too like- self focused way too self focused#which just makes it worse bc then I’m like that’s what got me in this mess#but goddamn there’s just so much shit I’m missing out on and interactions I’d like to have but about things that I’m out of my depths on#so it made fandom a little lonely and a little secular#feeling like a kid on the outs#I want that feeling to die especially about the things I love
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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