#i am so tired of tagging things lmao
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arcanegifs · 2 months ago
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16 hours of making gifs today lol...... This show is so goddamn good. I've never done anything like this with any other piece of media.
I finished making all the scenes that i couldnt get out of my head. The brainrot is real.
Thankfully, now that I finished them, I think I can function during the weekday LMFAO.
Enjoy the GIFs! I'll prolly post a few more in the coming days, depending on my schedule.
Can't wait for Act 2!
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saltedbiscuiit · 2 months ago
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Matching pyjamas mayhaps?:3
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wazzappp · 20 days ago
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I love thinking about how this would go down with them
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twoa-plus · 10 days ago
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this is not a polished essay it is a giant yap session u have been warned
gotta be at least in the top 3 posts most likely to get me blown up by a missile but why is every depiction of bill & ford’s relationship either “hehe cute/sexy romance >:3c” or platonic psychological horror. why can’t we have both (not the cute/sexy thing, just the romance) like. u guys are aware that Really Really Horrible non-platonic relationships are a thing right. like u guys do know that right
idk i don’t really have words to express this eloquently but this fandom’s fixation on the idea of Romance = Good feels really weird to me. i really really love exploring complicated fucked up characters & their dynamics with each other and it’s just exhausting to not be able to do that without 14 pages of clarification. i know every fandom is like this to some extent i wasn’t born yesterday but it seems ESPECIALLY bad here. and yes imo it IS important to differentiate between a platonic & romantic relationship in this context bc that DOES make the way it reads a little different and that can be an interesting thing to discuss
also while i’m yapping abt things that would get me beat over the head with a shovel, y’all gotta learn that different interpretations doesn’t mean bad interpretations. like using bill & ford as an example:
“this is a good healthy relationship” bad interpretation. do you know how to read
“this is a really fucked up abusive platonic relationship” valid interpretation
“this is a really fucked up abusive romantic relationship” also a valid interpretation
(^does not apply to aus just the Actual Canon Written Text, aus are obv a case-by-case thing)
someone having the second interpretation does not make them homophobic i cannot believe i have to say this. someone having the third interpretation does not mean they support abuse (i actually can believe that i have to say that one at this point)
personally i actually don’t really care either way between the second and third i just wish we as a collective could have one (1) interesting and nuanced conversation about their dynamic & what led to it & all that stuff without spending 75% of the time just clarifying the opinion of “abuse is bad” it is so fucking tiring
anyways. fiddauthor truthers rise let’s all beat bill cipher to death with hammers
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moralcandy · 16 days ago
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take a bite! 🩸(close-up under the cut ↓)
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v-poreons · 2 months ago
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One unfortunate side effect of Coven's luck charms and potions is her patrons' bad luck gets chased onto her, making her way more prone to accidents than usual.
I thought it'd be funny if a common occurrence for her is: one of her experimental potions falls off a shelf. She goes to clean up the mess and cuts her finger on the glass. She instinctively puts her finger in her mouth to soothe the cut, and ends up experiencing the effects of the potion. It happens to her way more often than she'd like to admit. Anyways these are some instances of different potions mishaps she gets into lol
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lightbulb-warning · 5 months ago
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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alchemiclee · 1 year ago
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I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.
for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.
when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.
equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?
I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?
I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!
BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS
(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)
#cant even say its only het shippers because lgbt shippers do it too#i enjoy the ships i see more as equals. like cynonari and xingyue for example#first ones that came to mine lol#everyone feminizes the shit out of nari calling him cynos wide constantly but they're both strong leader types with a soft side#wife*#THEYRE SO EQUAL???? AND THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO STRONG????#then xingyue is funny because ive seen people frame BOTH yingxing and dan feng as the “wife” at different times. proof theyre equals!#maybe not proof lmao but you cant say the arrogant craftsman and proud dragon arent equals who get along super well#they arent het opposites at all imo. not even close#i just really enjoy balanced equals over unbalanced opposites. because the feminine is always seen as lesser and weaker than the masculine#and that always bothers me a lot lmao#im probably the minority here. im giving benefit of the doubt that people just never thought about it and do what theyre taught#but if everyone actually orefers this and its on purpose.......please reconsider 🤣#prefers*#lee text#lee rambles#gay#lgbtq#gay ships#one relationship i felt was presented as equals (from best of my memory) was korrasami#they balance each other out and i see them as equals. one doesn't lead over the other. they're both leaders in their own ways. and carers#one reason i dont date is because most people are ovsessed with this unbalance opposite gender roles thing and i cant stand it lmao#obsessed* am tired of tag typos i miss until after i hit enter hfhfhdhdjdjsjs#this was long and rambly but i suddenly had many feelings and needed to say them#*
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morningmask27 · 3 months ago
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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voidimp · 13 days ago
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i just want to draw jules being very excitable & silly bc he IS or at least he tries really hard to be & then exhausts himself so sometimes hes not but god why is it HARD
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keeps-ache · 1 month ago
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need to be exploding something but i Can't for some reason. just Can Not. my ability to do is just. Nay
#just me hi#GOUHHH#okay so I can't go back to bed rn cuz I was So tired earlier I went to bed at 7#Bad move !! But I also didn't have anything to do so kind of the only one lmao#So I slept for 4 hours and here I am now. At 2 am. Vibing [<- this is untrue]#I have Energy that I Need to dedicate to SOMETHING but I can't figure out what so I'm just vibrating really aggressively and pacing kfvshf#I could funkin writeeeee but I don't know what and i don't think I'll be able to focus so lmaoo 💥#// 💥🎶NONSTOP AUTOMATIC LIVIN IN DELUSION🎶💥#anywho loll--#//i could draw but that's Slow and Caramalizing work. Like when I want to evenly toast my thoughts you know what I'm saying kfshf#Or when I'm just trying to be Thourough. Or just rotating shiz so fast I gotta slow down lol#And then if I draw what should it be? The things in my brain ??? God forbid#What I'm just sposed to pick between the 3+ projects I have blasting at full volume in my head rn ?? That's crazy talk man#//mnm i want. a Snack#Snack tiymeeee#If only we had those kfshvfh#Ik where to get marshmallows (thought they could hide them from me. Impossible) but that's not a good choice for the hour or the craving lo#//what's the point !!! What's the pooooint !!! 🎶#i love you music hfvsh#/speaking of i took my mp3 player w/ me to skate w/ and played oldies and you know that was pretty good man I gotta do that again#Meant to do it last time but I didn't charge her :( and I don't want to stress her battery by killing her so </3#//oh also we went to the movies today !! Part of the reason I'm tired lmao#I always forget to bring smth to plug my ears (it's so funkin loudddd man oTL) but you know what I Didn't forget? Mp3 player w/ the noise#Canceling earbuds. Which worked insanely well I had Zero discomfort :D#Usually the theater experience starts to suck hard at abt the 2/3rds point cuz everything gets loud ;w;#but i forgot abt the sound thing w/ my buds in so :D yay yippee !!#We watched gladiator 2 :) watched the first one the night before so full context let's go 💥#It was good! I think anyway! I'm not sure i was completely clocked in kfshfh#//ooou I'm running out of tag space..#I'll say ciao right here loll :> toodles !!
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trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
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audaciousacolyte · 11 months ago
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I saw that requests were open so can i request romantic BATQFTIM!Mugman headcannons? 🥺 hes my favorite and i would like crumbs of him pls if you could spare some 🙏🏾
Porcelain boy
(Mugman x reader headcanons) - Romantic
AN: 《|| Howdy! Thank you so much for requesting!! I'm a bit burnt out at moment, but I'll be posting again later!||》
Sweet boy, sweetie pie <3
Mugman is a genuine sweetheart, but he can be. . . A bit hyperactive sometimes.
On occasion, you'll have to get him to slow down long enough for you to actually understand what he's saying.
Just like his brother, he tends to keep PDA on the down low. However it isn't out of appearing "weak" so much that it's because he's just nervous.
Enjoys roping you onto little "side-quests" for random supplies the group might need whenever y'all are near a town, he thinks that they're a silly way for him to bond with you!
Even though he seems childish and naive, he’s FAR from perfectly innocent. (being a gun for hire will do that to a guy, I suppose). However, he’ll play dumb in tense situations to try and ease the harsh atmosphere, making an ass of himself to keep the people around him from going for each other’s throats.
(If you look closely, you’ll see him do that a LOT with his brother and Bendy. In all honesty, He’s probably the reason that those two haven’t tried to kill each other yet…)
Speaking of cuphead, Mugman values his brother's opinions A LOT, so if the two of you want to last longer than a few weeks, you’re going to need Cuphead’s approval.
(Which. Isn’t all that hard actually. As long as you aren’t actively trying to manipulate/use/kill Mugman, Cups is fine with whoever Mugs decides to date.)
((Even so, I would be on guard around the older cup twin. If he gets even the tiniest idea that you might be bad for his brother, he’s gonna shut the whole thing down.))
Mugman loves deeply, and tends to stick with the people he cares about through thick and thin. If he decides that you’re “the one”, he’s gonna stay loyal to you until the day he dies! 
That being said, he heavily expects the same for you… Which probably isn’t the best thing in the world for folks with commitment issues.
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coridallasmultipass · 4 months ago
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[ Nikke spoilers for mid September 2024 update mini story / my comments on it. ]
Closeted trans dudes dressing up at the family function like:
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It's such a familiar scene, for family to see you dressing up out of obligation and then being like, 'Oh, NOW you're so beautiful, you should do this more often.' And internally, your body is screaming that it feels so wrong, why did you perform your perceived gender for this event! Or like, for me personally too, the whole missing the vibe of the event and dressing up way more than anyone else, and then feeling so out of place. I've joked before about Red Hood having older brother vibes, maybe she has trans vibes for me too now, lol.
Also, strange that Liliweiss is saying 'for the future' to Red Hood. Who, y'know, is basically terminally ill (corrupted). Red Hood doesn't 'have' a future, she just has the present and past. At this point in this mini-story thing (I'm assuming it takes place around the time of the Red Ash event), is Liliweiss aware of the plans to integrate Red Hood into Rapi, and therefore 'have' a future? Or am I just reading into this way too much? Lol. Just sounded like a really weird and inconsiderate thing to say to her.
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That aside, why the fuck did y'all vote the dress over the other two Red Hood skins?! I'm so disappointed, the other two were way cooler and not out of character:
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((I mean, I guess it's technically in-character since it's canon now, and has to do with 'old music' but c'mon, man...))
Image description below cut:
First image: Red Hood from Nikke: Goddess of Victory is in a strappy and revealing dress. It's the same colour as her hair. She's embarrassed and standing next to a gramophone, while holding a champagne glass. She is also wearing fingerless half-palm leather gloves. Text: Red Hood: Oh jeez, I can't do this! I just can't!
Next two images: Text: Dialogue:
Commander: You did well in that outfit.
Red Hood: Anything was better than staying at that party, even fighting raptures. I've never been so glad to have a bunch of them show up.
Rapunzel: Your dress is all dirty, though. And the hem is all torn...
Red Hood: Who cares? It's not like I'm going to be wearing this ever again.
Liliweiss: Why not? I thought you'd be keeping it for the future.
Red Hood: No thanks. Not a chance.
Snow White: That's too bad. At least I finally got to see you all dressed up. Can I at least take a picture for posterity?
Red Hood: Absolutely not. I don't want to leave any evidence of this humiliating sight.
Last three images are the Red Hood skins/appearances that we voted on. First image is the feminine dress with the gramophone mentioned before, which won the poll. Second image is Red Hood on a motorcycle with a leather jacket, crop top, mini shorts, and thigh highs. Third image is Red Hood standing next to a wolf, and she is wearing form-fitted high-rise pants, a strappy harness bra-top and collar, and a cropped blazer.
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#we couldve had a better mini story than performative femininity#nikke#red hood#red hood nikke#goddess of victory: nikke#nikke goddess of victory#nikke spoilers#CoriPlaysNikke#Cori Plays Nikke#idr which tag i use lol#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#long post#i cant remember if i voted bike or wolf lol the vote i cast was on june 27 and its currently sept 21 so it was a while ago...#...and the link i RTed doesn't tell me which one i voted (usually i try to put a screenshot as a reply but i must have forgotten)#i DEFINITELY did not vote the out of character strappy dress lmao wtf#tbh im keeping her default skin on but its nice they gave us a mini story for it at all#also lmao @ rapunzel looking for the commanders mags. neon already found em (neons personal story) and theyre gay mags (bless)#i mean unless im misremembering that im super tired rn and ive been typing this post for a while and have more to say on another post#other post TBA im too tired to make that one rn. actually i have a lot of nikke things i want to post but i keep forgetting lol#just expect more i have a lot i wanna commentate on but its 1am and i still gotta shower tonight#lol lemme stop nitpicking this post#but yeah the story was like. oh man. ive done that before. countless times. it sucks. i got hella secondhand embarrassment...#...bc ive been there before. in feminine clothes and shit. and ppl suddenly like u a lot more...#...and its like. guys. this is basically a costume. its not who i am. no im not gonna wear a fucking dress all the time.#and it sucks bc it aint safe to come out to justify why you dont wanna look like that all the time. (not that ppl should Have to justify it)#let ppl wear stuff thats ooc and treat it normally dont hound them about it like this bc then it becomes a nightmare
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mars-ipan · 4 months ago
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steroids have decided the two emotions for tonight are Gamer Rage and Deep Yearning Sadness
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whoblewboobear · 5 months ago
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It’s strange, I’m used to hyperfixating hard on things like HARD (beats my 2yr long beetlejuice musical obsession back with a stick) but Starbreaker- not even fantasy high itself took me over to the point of feeling like a teen about. Like I haven’t had this much fun in fandom in years. I haven’t like- interacted with people this much in fandom in years (which is still not enough but if I beat myself up about social interaction again I’ll jump off a cliff)
But there’s never been a concern of like “this obsession won’t fade for a while but it’ll lose popularity” and that’s fine and surprisingly it hasn’t. But it is different. It’s like adapting to it constantly as the thing itself changes even when there are aspects that you’d like to stay the same. Like that ‘I don’t go to this school of thought, but I’ll still take the class bc it’s interesting’ sorta thing.
And then there’s that feeling of WANTING to contribute but the thing has become such a beast that it’s like oooh I’m so out of my depths here.
Also like constantly having to look myself in the eye and be like ‘bitch you don’t have to talk or contribute to EVERYTHING’ and the sooner I accept that and accept that it is what it is, ill miss things, I won’t get enjoyment out of every aspect and every aspect isn’t for me and that that isn’t a bad thing, I’ll stop having moments of feeling weird and out of place. I have my lil corner and that’s okay
#ngl I think the biggest ‘culture shock’ ig about being in fandom is that tagging systems have changed so much or something bc I’m used to#walking in a tag and that’s where you find everything#but now it’s different#things are tagged wayyy differently and it means missing things or setting aside time to go down a list to check every blog#I dunno#I always feel a little weird about main tagging sb stuff now bc I’ll check the tag and it’s like oh? things are slowing down#but it’s like nooo bc of tagging and different lanes entirely I’m just missing stuff#idk what this is I’m just talking but it’s strange#I think I’m bad at fandom and that defeats the purpose of it bc it’s recreational#it’s supposed to be fun.#it’s /supposed/ to be fun#I saw a post the other day of someone that’s in this purely for Jace and having similar feelings of being out of the loop and it got me#thinking bc on some part I’ve contributed to it and I’ve probably clogged tags#but the lizard part of my brain that gets the dopamine boost from getting a note is like if I don’t main tag it won’t be seen#but truly either way I am mostly talking to myself lmao#so yah know? idk it should be fun#idk what this is and idk if I’ll fully ever commit to a different/quieter tagging system#bc tumblr is the place I got to scream and be annoying without being told it’s too much and some how I’ve convinced myself that on my own#blog and fandom spaces I enjoy that I’m just annoying#and I don’t wanna think that#I think I’m tired. like hyperfixation hasn’t died but the part of me that’s hungry for being completely consumed by it is tired#my one fear is that I’ll be so annoying that my fic will finish and no one will care#which isn’t true bc I’ll care until the bitter end lmao#idk I’ve talked so much that I’m like oh I’ve done the thing again I should shut up#also this is too like- self focused way too self focused#which just makes it worse bc then I’m like that’s what got me in this mess#but goddamn there’s just so much shit I’m missing out on and interactions I’d like to have but about things that I’m out of my depths on#so it made fandom a little lonely and a little secular#feeling like a kid on the outs#I want that feeling to die especially about the things I love
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