#i am so tired but i cannot fall asleep
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Merry Christmas everyone!!!
#i have been awake since 4 (it is now 7:15)#i am so tired but i cannot fall asleep#abigail hobbs#hannibal#hannibal nbc#nbc hannibal#christmas#merry christmas#happy holidays
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sleep doesnt exist but i animated a fish even more so life is okay
#my older brother complained that it was too choppy and i needed to make it 24 fps#i nearly killed him#guys my sleep is so fucked#like i go to bed at 8 pm and then sleep terribly only to wake up at 5:45 am#i genuinely cannot fall asleep at 8 ive been trying to for like 2 weeks now#but every morning i have to wake up before six so i dont miss the bus#i have no free time anymore#i have an assignment due on saturday night#but im booked all day tomorrow and all night tonight#im literally so tired all of the time#three pigeons in a trench coat
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Hot hot feet
Not not sleep
:(
#do I have neuropathy we just don’t know#all I know is I’m sitting at the bathtub soaking my feet in cool water#because my little penguin dance in the shower puddle 20 min earlier didn’t help#also I was so proud of falling asleep on time yesterday turns out it’s a lie#I am tired but cannot sleep thank you past Gen
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This not being able to sleep at a decent time thing really goes against my entire vibe of waking up early to have a cup of coffee and obsess over fictional men in an effort to prepare myself for another day.
#I take damage for every minute I am awake past midnight#honestly so tired but cannot sleep#watch me fall asleep right after I post this tho#it's called manifesting
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I need to pull an oversized hammer out of my pocket and bonk myself on the head with it so I will fall asleep and honk shoo mimimi like there's no tomorrow
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we've reached the point of singularity I think: it is physically too hot to fall asleep
#this is... ridiculous#my eyes are closing#i am so tired it hurts. this is like those russian tortures where they sleep deprived you w/ wbright light or sound#except with heat#like i genuinely cannot overstate how physically exhausted i am. how close to falling asleep. my eyes are so tired. i just want to sleep
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help I can't stop thinking about furniture. it's keeping me from thinking about the other way more important things I need to be thinking about (Jenkins, Dan Fielding, etc.)
#I could have just said John Larroquette but. I didn't#but anyway kitchens are expensive furniture is expensive paint is expensive#if we were rich I would be having the best time of my life. I'd love moving to a new place.#I'm having the best time playing with my 3d model of the apartment like it's a doll house#BUT actually buying things in real life is hell and it makes me so sad#god. imagine all the furniture I could assemble if I had money... sigh#trying to think about my guys to fall asleep but the furniture won't let me. ugh. I love furniture so much.#I know we're going to ikea next week and it's so bad how stupidly excited I am about it#ikea was probably my first hyperfixation as a kid and I haven't liked anything else for this long (it's been like. 27 years lol)#I cannot be normal about it#I will get to build shelves. and put things in shelves. organise things. build our wardrobe (for the third time in three years)#whenever we buy the kitchen I'll get to build most of that and then organise it too#I'm soooo excited!! and this time I'm only like... slightly chronically ill! and I won't have two surgeries right after we move (I hope....)#so maybe I'll have enough energy that it won't be awful this time!#anyway#need to sleep it's 6:30 and I'm so tired but my brain won't shut up#also my cat. he is yelling at me. I don't know what he's trying to say but he's very upset apparently#personal
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i miss the era of internet where all we got were anime fansubs made by people who had the time to do what they enjoyed
#translations of everything have started to suck more and more each passing year. everything is rushed out so quick theres no time to#localize literally anything#this is specifically the OFFICIAL dunmeshi anime subtitles saying theres not going to b a duck with an onion or something#ok. that wouldnt have even needed localization. you just didnt translate the fucking thing. you cannot take a saying and directly translate#all the words in it and expect people to get it#also theres a culture of ppl who know a language being like 'uhm. why did you translate it like that when it literally means xyz'#like yeah sure i'm sure translating everything directly ignoring the original prose and flow and meaning is going to be great#yakuza is the only game series i trust to b translated properly tbh. bc of the safe sects joke.#i wish ppl hiring translators a very pay them more and give them more time to work#is this rant even coherent. after ages i managed to fall asleep around 4 am and sleep a whopping 2 hours before waking up#and then i tried to go back to sleep bc i am so incredibly tired but then the clock hit 8 am (i have one of those clocks that chimes every#hour) and i just gave up and decided i need to write down what ive been thinking about for#the past half an hour#though i feel this is missing over half the context i thought of but idk bc im so very tired gdhwbfks
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not doing good. at all
#purrs#today and yesterday ive been unspeakably depressed. and no one knows what to do with me and i don’t know what to do with me. but ivs been ge#getting absolutely SHIT sleep bc of my siblings staying up late and my sisters ocd stuff which is probably part of it. I now im wide awake a#and it’s 2 and im miseravle and can’t sleep and already did sleep for 2 hours and it didn’t help and im hungry and weak#i truly don’t n kw what’s wro ng with me. i want to be happy and normal but every day i have long moments where im trying so hard not to cry#and i think most ppl would excuse themselves to go cry or take a break or like. speak up and ask for help if they’re miserable but i don’t d#do any of that. i just hold it all in until i get so tired it disappears. and then when i do snap im too miserable and ashamed to actually b#be honest about how anyone can help me which only makes me cry more. atp idk what will help. im in therapy now im about to have some time of#km eating food i like even though it’s not the healthiest ive tried resting and getting sleep and whatever. maybe im just not cut out for#any of what im doing and i just need to detach myself from reality even harder than i am already doing apparently. idk nothing im typing is#making sense i just can’t fall asleep now and im so pissed at my siblings and im pissed at my whole family for not giving a shit that im mis#miserable and easily overstimulated by noise bc i could’ve had ghe room downstairs and im still being held hostage by redacted and being#shaken awake to redacted like last night and work is killing me for the dumbest reasons. i literally cannot keep living like this#delete later
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I simply am not built to be functional in the morning I am only built to be a Night Owl
#sage speaks#new work schedule is kicking my ass besties 😪#i am so tired but i cannot make myself fall asleep earlier it is just not happening
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me giggling bc grief absolutely gave me some form of sleep problem and it has decided to worsen randomly 7.5 months into my grief era so even though i am doing much better with every other aspect of my grief life i just cannot fucking fall asleep anymore
#like i dont even notice myself falling asleep i just wake up#but when i try to sleep intentionally i simply cannot#but ill be tired ALL DAY. but i wont be able to take a nap?#i am like starting to lose my mind a bit hehe but i dont wanna have to call the doctor#bc i already have a doctors appointment for gender stuff on the 30th#so i feel like i have to wait until after that
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i hate spring in the city bc tHERE ARE CATS YELLING (fuck me fuck me) all night in the distance and my fucking dog woofs all night at them i cannot sleep
#this is the real reason why i watched yuri on ice constantly this week its because i literally cannot get any sleep#its so bad its yelling animal sounds so of course she barks and its like.... kinda constant until she falls asleep and them wakes UP barking#i just#am so tired#and i feel bad bc it makes me really short with her and 😞 makes me feel like a bad dog mom but loke#like i cant wear earplugs when i sleep it freaks me out so i just have to suck it up and not sleep at night
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Alright it's official may for me! I should not be awake right now cause I have school in 7 hours but I simply could NOT miss this opportunity!
#someone please shoot me with a tranquilizer#I cannot fall asleep but I am oh so tired#going to explode over this now
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Fact 1 : woke up at 7:30am with with 5 hours of sleep
Fact 2 : I need around 10hours of sleep to be at full strength
Fact 3 : I’m at a show and want to stay awake
Decision 1 : take a vodka-red bull at 9pm
Fact 4 : last time I had caffeine in my body was a week ago trough half a cup of tea
Decision 2 : dance and jump around for the entirety of the show, despite poor cardio and aching muscles
Consequence : my body is crumpling in my bed but my mind has never been more awake, I feel like a drunk guy on cocaine.
It is 4:21 am and all I want is to go make a full meal and then maybe get in a coma.
#I cannot stop thinking#just#VROOOM#mind goes broom#I’m not bi but I wonder if that’s what mania taste like#I could conquer the world#but also my body is tired and weak#so idk#I layes on the kitchen floor for a while with the cats#but then got embarassed in front of my roomates#I have been writing in bed for 3 hours straight now#omg never let me do cocain wtf#but also I get why these gay writers were doing drugs all day#FUCK#NO#not the point#can’t become a junkie#need to sleep#but sleep doesn’t want me#why don’t you want me#how long till I crash and die#I’ve finished all the fanfics I was reading#am I no state to be writing pertinent content#unless#omg#ok no I should sleep#gonna try to have a wank and fall asleep#if you’ve made it this far into the tags of this post you get the added burden of knowing this#la petite mort
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kinda crazy how we lost hope for him listening to heatwaves but bro said I will listen to it 3 times this month Like thankgod he just knew
He waited so he could be more dramatic about it. Little silly guy
#i have two more ideas for song cards but I am swamped with work and so tired that I am nearly falling asleep as I am typing this#so art has to wait for a bit longer#i also cannot remember my ideas but I remember writing it down somewhere#blu asks#muni tag
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does anyone have a cure for oversleeping 12+ hours everday and then also taking naps that does not include self control
#i do not wish to sleep so much but once im tired i literally cannot stay awake anymore#and everytime i lay down to ease the strain on my wee body im instantly too tired to even be on my phone#i fall asleep around 2 and wake up at 1 and then at 6pm the need to nap takes over me and i sleep until 8#and then somehow i fall asleep around 2 still#i also am not built for exersize in general but also i hate walking alone#:pensive:#they gave me terrible anxiety and growing up being told repetitively how unsafe my area is and now expect me to walk by myself#im just a wee little guy#and that hill is steep af and i have weak little legs#my fucked up calves when i look at the incline that is not very long but so tall i cannot see the top of it
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