#i am so sorry........ i didnt mean to make false promises i just didnt know.......
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snobgoblin · 2 months ago
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i fear i am way too selfish to give a child of my own the life it deserves but if any of my friends have kids i will be the BEST uncle
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velvetvexations · 5 months ago
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as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.
Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3
Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3
I hope you have a great week as well!
Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since
Noted, as someone who is also poly.
i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it
very valid
about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it
the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh
hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛
Thank you. <3
i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.
You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.
As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.
it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now
a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans
every time
Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.
transmeds are like ants they come back every summer
i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems
That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!
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pretabird · 2 years ago
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"I need to run away. "
I run from the bright torches and the distant howls of hunting dogs. My skin scarred and bruised of my own design. I can't stay. They hate me. My wounds meant nothing. My pain meant nothing. My heart meant nothing. My peace meant nothing. So I must mean nothing... and yet a part of me screamed it false.
"I need to hide."
I hear their scream profanities and threats in the fog. Clouding my vision, burning my lungs. Where do i go? Where is safe?
I stumble around for hours, breaking my sole on sharp rocks and sticks. My heart on my ears reminding me I'm alive. Alive and alone.
"What do I do? Who am I?"
I've never been to places hunters say I can't go. I've never been so far from home. I'm loosing sight of who I am. Was? Will be? It feels like head will explode, my heart will give out, my skin will shed. I don't know who or... what I am anymore.
They speak to me like I'm fragile yet handle me like I'm unbreakable. Spitting rose colored acid and aiming their empty guns. Kissing my eyes as I pray their blessings and whispering sweet nothings.
"I can't go back."
The wounds of my flesh I create as I tear away from my captors feel better than the gloden cage and drugged up food. Paranoia wisked away as the fog lightens up.
My sound of my stride keeps changing. Hooves? Talons? Paws? Too fast to tell. Not long enough to get used to them. I was scared but now I know I'm changing. Every atom of my body is changing. Down to ideas and beliefs I didn't know I had. I'm unrecognizable.
My lungs burn and my knees buckle under me but the fear of stopping is worse. The fear of being found is worse.
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"My child? My child!"
I call out to the trees, hoping to hear her laugh again. I didn't mean the things I said. The things I've done. I'm so sorry my child. Please come back! I didn't know true fear until now. I didn't know how much I needed her until she was gone.
My mouth tastes of blood, my throat sore from yelling, tears burn more than every before. I'm scared, tired, and feel betrayed.
"I must find her"
We scan dense, forbidden forests with our flashlights at walls of trees and strange creatures of the night. Vile and grotesque, twitsted and lacking their shepard. I shouldnt be here... but we have to find her. Bring her home where its safe. Hounds at ready and sniffing for life. Her life. Please don't leave me. Please come back. I'll do better.
Maybe her cage was too small? Her food was too bland? Bigger, tastier, ANYTHUNG to make her stay. I'll put the weapons and ammo I made just for away forever! I promise.
"Where is she?"
Foot prints her size and shape turn into hooves? No, talons? No,paws? What am I chasing? Who am I chasing? Claw marks on trees turn to broken branches, shattered trunks. Where did my little girl go? Was she eaten? Stolen? There's a monster with her! She must be found!
"Accepting the truth never hurt so bad."
I didn't meant do it! I didnt know putting hungry lions in her cage would be bad. She looked lonely. I didnt know shooting her diwn would break her spirit. I saw the light leave her eyes. I stopped hearing her sing... im so sorry.
Why is she punishing me? Couldn't she have just told me? I would've gave her anything her sisters didn't want anymore. I would have given her anything I was going to throw away! Yet she ran. She just HAD to run from my battered heart and empty pockets. Just like her mother and the othe families I was removed from.
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boyfhee · 2 years ago
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i woke up, went on tumblr.com like one does, and the first thing i see is “to you, with love” reblogged for me. 
so i closed the app. screamed a bit into a pillow. and came back to write this.
THE THING IS.. i read that work, im pretty sure i even left an ask but it was more shy, timid (?)in a sense - “thank u, this was beautiful ,i cried.”cuz i was overwhelmed lol <- the lol is to make is seem more causal as if my heart didnt feel like it was punched ^^
but i remember vividly going through heeseung hashtag and seeing this for the first time.. and the title was cute, i was like “oh fluff”. i had not read the genre or warnings notes before diving into it….
so u can imagine my reaction to this sentence…
“however, heeseung’s death changed that for you.” BTW  ofc the best time to read angst its dead into the night with taylor swift playing on my headphones :>
if i remember correctly, you deleted it (?) and then posted it again? i read it the very first time it was uploaded. this might have been a changing point cuz i didn't read angst.. not in it full potential like that before this and know im knees deep 
i finished reading it. and time kinda froze. the concept of hearing the voice of the love of your life. when things were good, were fine. i wept. BUT hearing them talk about what future could hold for both of u? knowing what u know now? literally curled with my phone in my hand and bawled my eyes out
promises… the forever heartbreaking factor of life.. what are they? meant to be broken or kept.. maybe neither.. i hate them… they give false hope for those who long and yearn to be reassure and make u believe that a single person could hold such a power over the universe… well, heeseung certainly couldn't.. no matter how genuinely his heart was beating while he said “forever”
wow, im in my feels again, i just loved it, truly loved it and cherished it for so long, in my own little world with spiraling thoughts about this, 
thank u thank u thank u  thank u!!!!!!!!!!! ur works mean the world to me
im sorry for making u sad with my ask, but i cant help it :] u made me feel too much !!!!!!!!!!
i loved the poem. the flashbacks from the fic hit me like a truck. whats ur favorite poem? ^^ i would love to read some if u have a recommendation
thanks for the little career stuff note, i appreciate it a lot truly
thank u in general, ure the coolest writer,  love u too 
ps. hee angst ?? i might die tho
                                               - > swift anonie ♡♡♡
ANON MAY I INTEREST YOU IN ANOTHER THOUGHT I HAD . about 'to you, my love' being set after 'if lovesick was a person' 😁😁 IT FITS SO WELL im so devastated actually . and that's why they tell u to read the warnings but who am i to say bc i straight up jump to the content ( i like surprises ) also i didn't delete it, my brother deleted my whole acc before i remade under the same user and reposted it 😭 oh but im so honoured that was the beginning of your angst reading arc, you should not be missing out on such a genre
and ur thoughts on promises, umm i can't say you're all wrong but i think they can serve as a driving force to do something? like some sort of motivation, or a reason idk . obvs, not saying that empty promises should be made. actually i dont have any opinion here, head empty. please never apologise for sending sad asks or wtv, i enjoy reading ur thought processes ure really really cool 🫵💗 as for poem recs hmm; i wandered lonely as a cloud by willian wordsworth, cadabianca by felicia dorothea hemans, la belle dame sams merci by john keats, rain before dawn, on a play twice seen and marching streets by fitzgerlad ( anything by him and emily dickinson is worth reading ) that's all i have on the top of my head
and no, thank u for taking ur time to write these asks, you're even cooler than me fr ☝️
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1111jenx · 4 years ago
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Hey Jenx, I just feel like ranting a bit, sorry - but I'm having a hard time with being a Libra rising . . . I don't like being one, I feel like it's a mask that I can't take off, I can't take it off and show people who I am, it's like it's stuck on me and I don't know what to do
Hi love,
I just saw your other ask and just had to rush here to scroll all the way down to find this one haha. First of all, thank you so much for confiding in me enough to share these thoughts and feelings, even anonymously, it still means a lot to me that you’re opening up to me (:
Second of all, let’s talk Libra Rising. If you didnt know yet, according to the Book of Rulership, the sign Libra actually rules over actors as well as actresses. I know, this explains a lot already right love? I talked a little bit on this before but what you said makes a lot of sense boo. I understand that it actually is really hard being a Libra Rising. I think you guys, just like any other people come in this world wishing to make it a better place. What I commonly see happening with Libra Rising is that the older you guys get, the harder it is for you guys to be honest and vulnerable. Perhaps this is why so many Libra Rising value partnership so much just to find their one true person who understand and can completely be real with them.
The sign of Libra itself, positioning in your first house can make it a bit confusing at times too. Libra Risings are like a mirror, you reflect people’s actions, you reciprocate their energy. That is why they usually have people love or hate them, never in between. Because sometimes, people do not want to look in the face of their reflections, of how ugly and twisted their actions were. But for the rest, they love Libra Rising by all means as you guys just know how to make sure they can see the reward of their actions. You guys are like the angels of Karma if I may haha
But having this dynamic can be a bit draining isn’t it baby? I know that constantly having to observe everything and constantly mirroring can be so tiring. So tiring to the point where you just might slip up and forget who you are at your core for a second. Who would have thought something you had believe in so long can damage you this deep right. The idea of “equal give and take” sounds better in theory right love. But I can promise you this, the second you guys work with your shadow self. Asking questions such as “Why do I feel the need to constantly mirror others instead of staying true to myself? When did I started doing this? Why did I start doing this? Who am I without my mask? Why am I scared of people seeing the true me? What do I gain out of wearing a mask? What do I lose out of it? And finally, around who or what kind of people can I be myself?”
I grew up with a lot of Venusian placements. And Libra Risings have always remained my bestest of friends. More than anyone, I know you guys need to surround yourself with the right crowd in order to fully love who you are. You take pride in your circle yet you can’t take pride in one that do not fully understand you. My Libra Risings friends have grown up to realize that at the end of the day, they rather have one real person who see and love them for who they are rather than a hundred of superficial people loving the false version of them. 
I wish you all the very best and I hope that this answer somehow soothe your heart and hopefully, the next time you do look into that mirror, you’ll see the you that I adore, and you’ll show yourself to the people, unapologetically <3
love,
saint jenx🪐
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the-hellsing-organisation · 4 years ago
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Ordinarily I do not indulge in callout posts, unless a person's mental health might be in serious danger - and it's not a petty lie somebody made up, providing no screenshots, or simple ones taken out of context.
I have received multiple messages now, proving to me that the Hellsing Discord server 'The Hellsing Fanserver' lead by 'Artillery' is unfortunately a place people need to be warned about.
While everyone could assure me they do offer good scans of the Hellsing manga, the members of the server indulged in:
- Purposefully misgendering people
- Making fun of triggers, trans people and people with severe mental illnesses
- Purposefully using triggers against other server members
- Manipulating other people to use the triggers against the person they concern and shifting the blame on them afterwards
- Bringing explicit sexual themes to a server with minors
Afterwards they would celebrate their 'success', making fun of the people they hurt.
The so called 'trolling' (though I wouldn't dare to call such a hurtful behaviour this) was encouraged on the server, so I would deem it an unsafe environment for everyone whose mental health might be affected by such things.
Please be careful if these things concern you and please do not encourage such behaviour.
It's not only hurtful, it is downright cruel.
The invitations, though the links are expired.
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Here you see some of the accounts that were directly involved.
Please be careful.
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Discord Accounts
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I can only assume alts mean something like alternative accounts he and his friends created in order to do these things, engaging others on the server to do the same.
He then proceeds to share the success of the hurtful behaviour on before mentioned Discord server, commenting such:
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^ The “he” they are referring to is a demi girl. And yes, on the other server the pronouns are clearly stated and everyone is asked to respect them.
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He is downright admitting openly to have his friends manipulated other people to use the triggers against another person.
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(For context: A server members triggers were ‘Borderlands” and ‘Kingdom Hearts’.
He stated this trigger a few hours before and unfortunately the mod, after a sleepless night, was unable to memorise it during that time so ‘Abd’ took advantage of it.
Another mod quickly drew attention to her mistake and of course she apologised to the person she triggered and was forgiven.)
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Unfortunately many screenshots - involving the sexual advances and the 'making fun of transgenders' are missing due to the default ban option of the server, but several eye witnesses were able to confirm them.
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There was a person pretending to be a transwoman to make fun of transpeople (The person was introducing themselves like: ‘Hello, I am a man, my pronouns are he/him, but I wish to be a woman’ It didn’t sound very genuine to the trans people on the server), people making up all sorts of triggers to make fun of people who have triggers, a person pretending to be a kin, and people, who were trying to spread paedophilic messages with spreading the news that ‘age is just a number’.
And in case people still believe it was an accident:
They deliberately threaten people and plan to hurt them, while making fun of their triggers.
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I’m truly lost for words…
For everyone who didn’t know: It is not your place to judge triggers and for the love of God, please don’t make fun of them.
You don’t know the history behind them. It’s good if you have none yourself, it really is, but it shouldn’t make you blind to another person’s suffering.
And you certainly shouldn’t encourage other people to “hunt” people with triggers “down” and “go to war” against them.
Also the owner of server is openly hostility against lgbtq + people - especially trans people - , PoC and antisemitic jokes are the norm there.
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They too use nationalist-socialist symbols as emojis in their servers, so people who are triggered by such symbols should be careful.
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“Jew Alert”
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Blaming one group for the action of singular people should us remind too much of darker parts in history.
I know people with the same experience, that doesnt mean they should actively seek out ot destroy the mental health of all trans people, because one of them hurt them.
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Let the submitted texts speak for themselves.
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And just in case if anybody believes those are fake:
As soon as Satan saw them, he pmed another person:
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Those screenshots are real. They are not fake, like he claims they are and he admits that making fun of trigger and trans people was part of his “troll introductions”.
And just in case anybody is wondering if there are truly toxic trolls on this server? This is a submission I got:
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When the original is:
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Im sorry.
What they did should speak for itself, but don't try to add lies here. Lies that are obviously having their origin in the server itself.
If you still believe the attacks on this blog didn't come from the server:
This is what Artillery posted as soon as he found this post.
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After this the attacks started [as you can see here], so don't tell me your server is not responsible and keep your NSFW implications out of a server with minors and away from this blog!
Also you being an immigrant has nothing to do with the fact, that your server is not safe for minors, lgtbq+ people - especially transpeople - people with trauma and poc.
Even if you claims are real - your and your friends prejudices against the other groups remain.
Satan apologised openly and promised to take better care of people mental health.
The emojis however will remain, though we have been told they have specific channels for offensive jokes.
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“In our discussions with the tumblr group, we realized that the situation was far more complicated than we realized. There is a a third party, not associated with us or the tumblr group, who is deliberately spreading false information with the presumed agenda of causing drama and conflict between us. With this in mind, we've agreed the best course of action is to mutually end the escalation of conflict and apologize for what occured. Following that, I want to again make clear that nobody should be going after the tumblr group, their discord server, or anywhere other online spaces. We don't know where the tumblr trolls came from, but we do not support them. Their statements were racist, antisemitic, and violent. What we did in their server was wrong and a mistake. 
I want to personally apologize to a few specific people for what happened. Their server got raided, and during all of it we did not take their mental health into account, causing a lot of people to have panic attacks. Their triggers were invalidated, and people were manipulated. There were also a lot of innapropriate and offensive statements involved. While many things happened without my knowledge, it spiraled out of control because of the initial server raid, and I want to offer my sincerest apologies for that, and for everything else.”
Update:
He lied. He doesn’t regret anything.
Do you remember how he claimed he never ordered an attack on anybody?
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Yes.... that was a lie.
He did plan to attack, though one member - the one they would later throw out of the admin team stopped him from attacking more people.
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It should have given us red flags they would ban the only member from the team who was actively against the bullying.
And as we see here they did attack the second time as soon as the opportunity arouse when Artillery were sending people after us after saying we should suck his d*.
So he didnt learn a thing. Please survivors stay save.
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aspoonofsugar · 4 years ago
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The “One” Divided Into “Two”
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Hello anons, hello friend,
these asks can be answered together!
First of all:
Hello! I just want to say that I love your RWBY metas! So I'm wondering, have you ever done metas about Emerald and Mercury?
Thank you! And yes, I have written a little bit about Mercury and Emerald here. I would also recommend this wonderful meta by @hamliet because it has an interesting Mercury theory in it.
Now. this answer is gonna mix some analysis with speculation because Emerald and Mercury’s story must still enter its climax. Once it does and we are given a specific interpretative key I will be happy to write more metas on them!
I’ll start with this:
Those two are so out of place in Salem's faction and the last look they share made me doubt that Mercury is rotten to the core and more of a kid who didnt know what he's in for. Since Em has switched sides, is it possible that Merc might follow? I really like him, so I'm hoping that he won't go down like Watts.
In my opinion, yes and here is why.
CHILDREN LOST IN A NARRATIVE
1) Emerald and Mercury have been child-coded since their first appearance:
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Roman: Oh, look! She sent the kids again! This is turning out just like the divorce!
2) Both have received a save the cat moment early on:
Emerald: It's almost sad.
Mercury: Emerald, get up, we need to go. (...) Emerald!
Both child-coding and save the cat moments are often used to make characters more sympathetic and this applies to both Emerald and Mercury, even more so than Cinder.
This is why, for example, the major death they are directly involved in:
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turns out to be a temporary one.
As a side note, I like thinking of Emerald and Mercury as the Cat and the Fox in Penny’s story since they act as false friends to the main cast, betray them and cause Penny’s first death. Moreover, in the novel, both characters end up suffering consequences for their life-styles. The two murder kids are the same:
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At the same time, details about Emerald and Mercury’s backgrounds and motivations are given to the viewers pretty early on:
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We are shown Cinder recruiting both and these scenes clearly paint them as two vulnerable kids that get manipulated and groomed:
Raven: Two children you’ve tricked into following you.
Emerald is presented as a scaredy cat and Cinder wins her over by promising the bare minumum aka some security and basic care.
Mercury is given even less aka a narrative to keep himself together:
Cinder: And you're his son. We saw your fight from the treeline. He's taught you well.
Mercury: Guess so.
Cinder: What's your name?
Mercury: Mercury.
Cinder: Mercury... Tell me, are you anything like your father?
Mercury: All my life, my father trained me to be a killer, an assassin like him. And then moments after I killed him, you two showed up looking for someone with my exact skills. Just felt like it was meant to be.
Cinder praises his abilities and frames his trauma as something that makes him strong, not broken. And Mercury has completely embraced this narrative since then.
In short, Emerald and Mercury are framed as two kids lost in an illusory narrative Cinder has crafted. That said, they are also characters in a proper narrative and they are given sympathetic backgrounds and positive qualities that hint they can be better than they currently are.
In particular, Emerald should overcome her emotional dependence on others to make the right thing:
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In both volume 3 and volume 8 she is shown the destruction of a city. However, the first time she puts distance between herself and others’ pain, as symbolically conveyed by her looking from above. In volume 8, though, she is shown the same pain up close and she can’t ignore it anymore. This is why the others drag Emerald towards the people crying and light invades the screen when she finally meets the sheltered crew. She is forced to face an uncomfortable truth she wants to ignore.
Mercury should instead let himself depend on others more. He should open up to others and fight for his one positive bond:
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Mercury: Back off, freak.
Which leads us to:
What do you like most about Emerald and Mercury's relationship and bond as it is explored in RWBY?
EMERCURY: COMPLEMENTARITY
Emerald and Mercury’s bond being a key one is conveyed both symbolically and in terms of their respective abilities.
When it comes to their abilities, I have written about it in the meta linked above:
In short, Emerald mostly relies on her semblance, while Mercury mostly relies on his legs and fighting prowess.
This detail adds to the idea that Emerald and Mercury have been acting as a unit and have been complementing each other. Emerald acts as the “soul” and Mercury as the “body”.
The soul is one’s personal essence (like the semblance). It is where (once again) wishes reside. The body is what protects the soul and is animated by instincts and self-survival.
They complement each other. This complementarity is shown in Emerald and Mercury’s fights.
In the Vytal festival, Mercury takes on both Coco and Yatsuhashi for a short while, so that Emerald can size her chance to fight Coco at her own terms (and she wins by using her semblance).
In the Battle of Heaven, Emerald uses her semblance to help Mercury fight and, in a sense, she compensates for his lack of one:
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The human soul is about wishes, but also duties:
Penny: I feel like I wish I could do both the things I need to do and the things I want to do. Is that normal?
One must accept their feelings, but also struggle with them:
Winter: But yes Penny, we must still acknowledge our personal feelings, wrestle with them. It ensures us that we’re on the right path. It’s what makes us human.
And must do the right thing out of their own free will:
Winter: Penny. The general is making hard choices so we don’t have to.
This is Emerald’s personal struggle. She must let go of her feelings for Cinder and fight her own fear in order to do the right thing.
The human body lets people feel both others’ warmth:
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And others’ cruelty:
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However, Mercury refuses to feel both. He refuses to truly process his own trauma and pushes his feelings of care for Emerald away:
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As far as their symbolism goes, they are linked in at least three different ways.
1) One of the attributes of the Roman god Mercury is that he is the protector of thieves and Emerald’s surname capitalized means thief. What is more:
Mercury: Ooh, Emerald! Master thief! Please don't take my money! I barely have enough to get by!
2) Mercury/Hermes is also the god of alchemy and the one who wrote the Emerald Tablet aka a tablet with the truth of alchemy on it. You, @hamliet​, have written a meta on it, so I won’t add more.
3) According to at least some traditions, emerald is the gemstone associated with the planet Mercury.
So, it is clear the two characters are meant to be important in each other’s arcs.
Let’s now look at Emerald and Mercury’s bond, as it is explored through their interactions.
Mercury clearly cares about Emerald and gets along well with her. She is the only person he shows vulnerability to.
This is what their scene in Lost is about:
Emerald: Why did you come with us, the night Cinder and I found you?
Mercury: Why are you asking--
Emerald: Just answer the question.
Emerald is trying to open herself up and wants Mercury to open up too. This is why she gets annoyed when Mercury gives her a superficial answer. Still, in that conversation, Mercury is genuinelly trying to answer Emerald’s feelings:
Mercury: I'm sorry you didn't have a mommy that loved you, but I had a father who hated me! He never went easy on me! Every day of training was a beating. And when I unlocked my Semblance, he stole it with his! "This is a crutch!" "This makes you weak!" He told me I could have it back when I was strong. So I got strong, but I never got it back! I've had to work harder than anyone to get where I am. You may not like it here without Cinder, but I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be!
Here, Mercury is telling Emerald details of his past he would not be sharing if he did not trust her. He can’t let himself be completely vulnerable, though, so he discloses them by lashing out at Emerald. He mixes violence with authentic vulnerability and also with care:
Mercury: Cinder doesn't care about you! She doesn't care about either of us!
He has seen how self-destructive Emerald can get when it comes to Cinder:
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And he is trying to have Emerald move on from her obsession.
However, Mercury’s small steps towards opening up and caring for another person are constantly challenged:
Tyrian: Oh yes, the world is mean, and I'm a big, bad man now just like the others.
Mercury: How long have you been standing there?!
The moment he opens up to Emerald, Tyrian appears to threathen and mock him.
Mercury’s positive development lies in accepting his own feelings of pain and in sharing them with others, so that he can be helped. However, the environment he is in goes in the way of it:
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Emerald: Mercury, I wanted to...
Here, Emerald is trying to either apologize to Mercury for their fight or to at least check out on him. Still, Mercury is not listening to her because he is too frightened by what Salem is doing.
Mercury’s current struggle is conveyed in a nutshell by the glance he gives to his left in Midnight:
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Is he looking at Emerald out of concern?
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Or at Salem out of caution?
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It is not clear. Still, what is sure is that Mercury should focus on Emerald, but Salem goes in the way. He deep down wants to care about others, but he is too scared to do so:
Tyrian: All you ever learned was pain and violence, and now you're too afraid to leave it. Such a tragedy.
At the same time, Mercury is for Emerald what she has been looking for in Cinder:
Emerald: We don't need him! Everything was going fine!
She initially refuses him, but it is clear that with time Mercury becomes the thing most similar to a family Emerald has:
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She has been so fixated on Cinder and on how she can be worthy of Cinder’s love that she has missed how much Mercury has tried to protect her all along.
This is why Hazel is important for Emerald’s development:
Hazel: No more Gretchens, boy.
His sacrifice is about breaking his personal cycle of pain. His story starts with Gretchen dying when she was only a girl and it ends with him preventing another girl’s death. At the same time, he also helps breaking the cyle of abuse between Emerald and Cinder.
Emerald is told the truth about her relationship with Cinder by Mercury. Moreover, it seems something finally clicks for her here:
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She observes Salem’s manipulation of Cinder and understands Cinder has been manipulating her in the same way.
However, it is thanks to Hazel’s sacrifice that Emerald sees what a genuine parental bond should be like. It should be about the parent protecting the child:
Hazel: What Gretchen would have done. And that starts with getting you away from here. Both of you.
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And not the child protecting the parent:
Emerald: I know I can’t beat you. But I can fill that thing full of holes before you take me down.
It should be about the parent caring for the child unconditionally:
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Hazel: Go.
And not about the child working hard to gain a parent’s love:
Cinder: You… You brought me back here. We failed.
Emerald: Cinder, you were hurt. I was just trying to help.
At the same time, Hazel’s death has taught Emerald the pain of losing a loved one:
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And has forced Emerald to stand on her own two legs:
Oscar: I've seen what you can do, Emerald. However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you.
She can’t be protected forever, but she should start protecting others. She is powerful enough to do so and she must accept this responsibility.
So
I think Emerald could be key to Mercury's redemption
I think so too. Emerald saving Mercury is the perfect objective for her personal arc. It forces her to act as the savior instead of the one being saved.
Moreover, Mercury told her the truth about herself:
Mercury: You're in denial.
So Emerald might do the same for Mercury. This would also fit with her being the Emerald Tablet. The Tablet is written by Mercury to convey the truth to the world. Here, it might very well be the inverse: the Emerald Tablet might convey the truth to Mercury.
In general, Mercury and Tyrian’s foiling has to pay off, just like Emerald and Hazel’s:
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The set-up is there for Tyrian and Mercury’s subplot to be about breaking cycles as well. Mercury’s story is about a child left alone with his abuser. Nobody comes to save him, so Mercury is forced to save himself by killing Marcus. Still, this only leads to him being stuck in the idea he is nothing, but an extension of his father. Right now, the cycle is repeating, but it is possible this time things will go differently because there is at least one person who cares about him.
Not only that, but (and this is nothing, but a baseless theory) even Qrow (aka a character who has unfinished business with Tyrian) might be a thematic fit to help Mercury:
Mercury: Bad hair, used a scythe, and smelled like my dad after a long day. It was him.
After all, Mercury himself draws a comparison between Qrow and his father since they are both alcoholic. However, Qrow has started a journey of rehabilitation for the sake of his nieces and their friends.
Qrow sees himself as bad for others and fundamentally unlucky because of his background and his semblance. So, his third fight with Tyrian being about saving a kid, who, in a sense, is even less lucky than him and has no semblance might be thematically fitting.
Despite it all, Qrow found a family and a place to belong and he might help Mercury find his (Emerald) as well.
SEMBLANCE OF THE SELF
Got no gun But I gleam like a blade and I'm harder than iron
Delusion I'll steal til your blind and defeat you from inside your mind
Emerald’s best weapon is her semblance, while Mercury’s semblance was stolen, so he could become a weapon.
This difference symbolizes their respective reactions to abuse.
Emerald uses her illusions as a coping mechanism.
This mechanism is well conveyed in CEM’s fight against Amber:
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On one hand, Emerald creates a child version of herself who is well dressed and owns a bike. It is a rich version of Emerald because she must think that is the kind of child others would stop by to help. She does not believe she is likable or lovable. This is why she makes an illusory alter-ego, which is both true (she deep down is a crying child) and false (she is a street rat with nothing).
In general, this is Emerald’s way to approach others:
Emerald: Just left the stadium after your amazing fight! You guys were awesome!
Ren: Because she's scared. Just like us..
Emerald: Or maybe because I know how to get out of here. Anybody coming?
She either fakes an overly friendly demeanor or acts tougher than she is. In any case, she hides her true self.
On the other hand, Emerald is symbolically trapping herself in an illusion together with Amber. Amber can’t see the dangerous thief in front of her, but Emerald too can’t see the generous woman who is offering food to a crying child:
Cinder: Follow me, and you’ll never be hungry again.
Cinder promises Emerald food and love and this lie makes the girl unable  to see the genuine article when it is right there.
So Emerald tricks both others and herself. This is how she survives abuse.
This is why she keeps believing in Cinder while she is gone:
Emerald: You’re here! I knew you’d co--
And this is why symbolically her semblance grows stronger in an abusive environment:
Emerald: I’ve been working on my Semblance. I can help. I won’t tell anybody.
Salem: You really have been honing that Semblance of yours.
After all, this is when Emerald gets a “power-up”:
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She has just lost Cinder and finds herself stuck with Salem. Her reaction is to have a breakdown and to project an illusion in the minds of nine people, when she had previously stated she could only do one/two minds at most.
Mercury weaponizes his trauma.
This is why his legs are Mercury’s true weapon, while Talaria is there just to cover and embellish the pain and ugliness under it.
Mercury fights Amber with only its bare legs because symbolically his trauma is still fresh and he has yet to work out a structured coping mechanism to it. His meeting with Cinder is the first step in this construction that evolves in the following months and is still evolving:
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In CEM’s fight against Amber, Mercury uses his unfeeling legs to whitstand the violence of the elements:
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Fire
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Earth and Water
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Air
He goes through the whole cycle without feeling any pain simply because his trauma has made him unfeeling:
I'm the one That was ripped from the earth and exposed to the sun
Marcus has literally turned Mercury into Iron:
But I gleam like a blade and I'm harder than iron
Still, the point is that mercury as a metal is not as hard as iron, but (in the alchemical scale of metals) is way more refined and closer to gold. Mercury can be better than his father, but his way to survive abuse is to repress himself.
This is why his semblance was stolen by his abuser. It is because abuse has taken away Mercury’s personhood.
So, both Emerald and Mercury face abuse by masking or repressing themselves. The difference is a matter of degree. Mercury can suppress his emotions and needs more, while Emerald can’t.
Theirs is a foiling about feeling too much to the point of self-harm and of feeling too little to the point of negation.
So, Emerald must struggle with her feelings not to be controlled by them, while Mercury must aknowledge them.
Emerald’s Hallucinations is a Semblance of The Self because it hides both Emerald herself and the truth.
This is interesting because, as stated above, the Emerald Tablet should convey the truth about alchemy. However, Emerald’s environment has turned her into an inversion of herself:
I'm the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one
She is a gemstone, but is currently covered in dirt. She needs to polish herself, so she can shine and fit better in her allusion.
Mercury’s stolen semblance is a Semblance of The Self because it is linked to Mercury’s self-expression, which he must claim back.
Until then, he is bound to be stuck in an abusive cycle as nothing, but a weapon.
In general, there is some symbolism around Mercury which needs unpacking:
Mercury quoting Marcus:"This is a crutch!" "This makes you weak!"
Firstly, he has clearly interiorized what his father told him here. He refuses the idea of weakness and crutches to the point that his prosthetics, which are literal crutches get turned into weapons and even covered by other weapons. However, this refusal of crutches means Mercury can’t heal. After all, crutches, bandages and treatment are necessary to become healthy once again.
Secondly, there is this: 
I'll run circles round ya, I can touch the sky
The God Mercury’s main attribute is that he can overcome any boundary. He can go wherever he wants in no time. However, Mercury is the opposite because no matter what, he can’t leave his abusive environment. This has to do once again with his father’s abuse which culminated with Marcus taking Mercury’s legs. This is symbolically why Mercury is trapped.
Like for Emerald, Mercury’s arc should be about growing into his allusion, so that he can finally be free.
Still, how to turn Emerald and Mercury in the positive versions of their allusions? The answer has to do with this question:
(I think Emerald could be key to) maybe Cinder's (redemption) too
I’M THE ONE
Emerald and Mercury are two parts of the individual (body and soul) and two parts of a Huntsman (semblance and weapon):
Ren: A common philosophy is that a warrior's Semblance is a part of who they are.
Ruby: Just weapons? They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us! Oh, they're so cool.
Together they make a unit. Together they make Cinder. They are two sides of her trauma, her two sins:
Emerald: Actually, I was wondering, do you have any copies of "The Thief and The Butcher"?
And the wounds behind those sins.
This is why Cinder takes them in, but also why she abuses them.
She uses them as weapons:
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In CEM’s fight against Amber she lets them go in first and has them take the majority of Amber’s hits.
Not only that, but she uses them as “red herrings” she hides behind.
She acts as if Amber’s blow takes her out of the fight, while Amber focuses on Mercury who resists her attack:
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She has Emerald display her semblance at full force, so that the girl becomes Amber’s first target:
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She makes her own illusion where Emerald and Mercury are her smokescreen.
However, her two disciples are not just things she can use as she pleases. They are two people who depend on her:
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Mercury: You mean--
Emerald: She's alive?
They are literally two kids she takes in framing their relationship as parental/hierarchical hence she is responsible for them.
However, she fails them and leaves them in a dangerous environment. This is why they both leave her out of self-survival.
Narratively, Emerald and Mercury are two kids that must grow up. Right now, they are in some kind of adolescent phase. They have started their emancipation from their “parent”, but they have still to grow until they’ll be able to truly face Cinder.
It will probably be in this confrontation that they will affirm their growth. Right now, Cinder does not need to be coddled, but to be called out. Both Neo and Watts try to, but Cinder ignores them and retaliates against them. She needs a call out she can’t ignore and Emerald and Mercury are too rooted in who she deep down is for her to be unaffected by them.
At the same time, it would mark Mercury and Emerald’s first step into adulthood. Only then they can stop being a “half” and can truly become “one”, so a whole person.
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flowerslightning · 5 years ago
Text
Have you heard about PFA and MFA?
or the full name is ‘Psychological First Aid’ (PFA) and ‘Mental Health First Aid’ (MFA)
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Can we relate it with Cloud Strife? As we all know, Cloud had mental illness and was struggling alone. Let’s take a quick look on this topic then and see if characters in FF7 ever give PFA/MFA to Cloud or to each other. This is going to be a looooong post although I tried to simplified it, so, yeah. Good luck reading this !
Disclaimer : I’m not a psychologist. I’m still a student and psych is not my major field. During my intern, other than we got exposed a lot about psychiatric disorders and ways to deal with them, we also got trained psychological first aid in emergency department. If it wasnt because of this quarantine, i would have finished my training in emergency field. There might be false interpretation here or there, forgive me for that and pls correct any mistake in this post
This will probably trigger LTD. Sorry, but I had to, Pls read this post with open mind. Keep in mind I like both Tifa and Aerith, i have no grudges agaisnt Barret, Vincent, Nanaki or Cid so I am not being bias with any of them. I forgot a lot of stuff in OG (I played it when I was really really small), so I will be using lots FF7R and AC references here (and a bit from OG, depends whatever I remember)
Good to go? Allow me to rant. Read it slowly and if u skip some of it, u’ll probably mislead my actual words, and u’ll be triggered af. Don’t come at me with madness if u dont read the whole post properly
What is PFA and MFA? Generally speaking, if Basic First Aid is about covering the wound to prevent further bleeding, then PFA (Psychological First Aid) and MFA (Mental Health First Aid) is like applying a bandage on ur mental to avoid u continue being distress. 
Usually, PFA is often associated with disaster event or terrorism, where large number of people got affected. Meanwhile, MFA focus in one person who is developing mental health prob or already in mental crisis due to certain traumas, such as vehicle accident, house burned and etc
 Pls note that, certain people NEED MFA while the others may NOT NEED it. It is important to respect their needs/wants. Some victims may refuse verbally but they ACTUALLY NEED it (CLOUD STRIFE) and maybe some victims look like they dont need it, but they want it, and its super fine to give it
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PFA/MFA not only done by the professionals and it is not a professional counselling, although necessarily training is needed if u want to approach deeper in this field. PFA/MFA is also not a psychological ‘debriefing’ - in which MFA/PFA doesnt need to involve a detailed discussion of the trauma event with the victim, but instead, it is an alternative way to psychological debriefing that helps for long-term recovery. (unless if ure a pscyhiatrist, then u have to forget about MFA and ask detailed questions regarding the events to help the patient to recover)
MFA and PFA both almost the same, but I will mention more about MFA here.
MFA (Mental Health First Aid) is not just about comforting “Oh, are u alright. I’m sorry for what u’ve been through”, but it is also about assessing their needs and concerns, protecting them from harm, provide practical support and support them feeling able to help themselves and others.
The main key for these two term is RESPECT - respect victim’s dignity, respect both parties safety and respect victim’s rights to make decision. Even without the PFA, we should respect these three in whatever circumstance we are in. 
A lot of us honestly were born with natural skill of MFA bcause of our own empathy, instinct or experiences and some got trained professionally. Some of them already had MFA due to high common senses they have.  
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Some of the Do’s and Dont’s when giving MFA include;
Do’s : 1. Be trustworthy | 2. Respect their decision | 3. Be aware of and set aside ur bias | 4. Make it clear to them u are available for help even they push u away | 5. Respect their privacy and personal space | 6. Do remain calm and soft when the person in distress | 7. Listen and don’t interrupt their talking | 8. Help in terms of basic needs | 9. Create connection the person with others | 10. Give hope to them | 11. Provide private place to talk about the event | 12. Respect their strenght | 13. Advice small necessary matters or give simple words of encouragement | 14. Acknowledge positive features of what victims have done
Dont’s : 1. Rush in whatever the thing theyre doing with u | 2. Be dismissive | 3. Make promises u know can’t keep | 3. Ask anything in return for helping them | 4. Exaggerate ur skills | 5. Force help on people, being pushy | 6. Pressure them to tell their story | 7. Judge that person | 8. Put the person in risk of harm as result of ur actions | 8. Force them to accept ur idea/Listening to ur rant | 9. Talk rough | 10. Being bias with the people | 11. Touching that person too much | 12. Talk with the person in negative terms | 13. Abandon the person’s feeling
To simplify, there are 3 ways for MFA to begin, and I will only talk about one of them, the one that is the hardest to do, that is when u notice someone looks distressed and ure concern about them, and leading u to approach them first without them noticing ur concern. [Am I putting the right words here?]
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In Cloud’s case, who do u think the first noticed Cloud behaved oddly and went to help him first ? - yeah Tifa. U probably would say “OFC she went to help him, she met him first at the train station. That guy looked sick af, who wouldnt ask if he was alright. If Aerith/Yuffie/Jessie met him first, they would do the same”. Okay guys, that was not my point. 
Let’s focus one by one characters and see what Do’s and Dont’s MFA (Mental Health First Aid) they’ve done to Cloud and other charas. Keep in mind, none of them know what Cloud had gone through, but Cloud had showed some obvious sign he was unwell and only a few of them noticed that and took action for it. 
The symbol [X] means the Dont’s in MFA and ( ✔) means the Do’s in MFA.
Biggs Jessie Wedge -
I know there’s a thing about man helping man’s psychology and Jessie being flirty with a guy.They [X] thought Cloud was like how they saw Cloud. and they considered it as normal. They didnt see Cloud under distress so they dont have the need to concern his mental status. The good thing about them was, the three of them (✔) respect Cloud’s strenght, giving Cloud the confident to be in action. But, Jessie [X] had zero respect on Cloud’s personal space
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I wanna highlight about Biggs. Biggs had an attitude of overthinking stuff, but it wasnt so bad that would cause him harm, he just cared too much about his friends. So I believe Biggs was the type that would notice immediately when his friend being strange and would give MFA (Mental Health First Aid) with his own instinct even without the person asking it.
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During the Sector 7 Plate attack, where Biggs was severely injured, when Cloud said he was not a fan of kids and Biggs said Cloud had so much in common (in common of what? Cloud with the kids or Cloud with him?), Cloud gave him ‘a sad look’ and Biggs reached out his hand to Cloud’s head. Biggs (✔) remain calm and soft when dealing with Cloud’s feeling (who faced traumatic event but Biggs didnt know about it) on that moment despite his current physical status. And also he (✔) wished goodluck to Cloud, leading to prevention distress on Cloud
Marle -
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Marle [X] judged Cloud for someone who had no skills, but she entrusted Cloud to take care of Tifa’s well being. Not knowing who Cloud was, Marle noticed Cloud looked glum, she (✔) offered her ear for Cloud to rant and knew right away he was not having enough sleep, then (✔) advising him to sleep more . Lol, she was [X] biased with Cloud and Tifa. Not her fault, she only knew Tifa’s story, not Cloud’s. After the Sector 7 plate fall, we saw her being the most active member to help with the remaining citizens there. Marle without a doubt had given the citizens there PFA (Psychological First Aid) , by helping them with their (✔) basic needs, (✔) create connections, (✔) put away bias, (✔) remain calm and soft. 
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Barret Wallace -
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Barret was the same like Biggs Jessie Wedge. I’m sure Barret thought Cloud was just fine. Barret saw Cloud as a mercenary with stinky attitude,[X] judging him like that causing Barret to gave him the same attitude too. But overall, he (✔) respected Cloud’s strength a lot
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However, after the Sector 7 plate fall, Tifa and Barret were the one that hurt (mentally) the most, Tifa as usual locking her emotions, there we could see how Barret comforting Tifa by (✔) giving words of encouragement and proceed on (✔) hugging her to show his empathy. Barret also (✔) remain calm and soft spoken when talking to the survival victims of Sector 7 citizens. He also (✔) acknowledged what the citizens had done to survive
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Vincent Valentine - 
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Don’t be surprise Vincent was listed here. This guy here was like another version of Cloud but more mature. In addiction, they both kinda share the same pain. So, I personally think Vincent understands Cloud pretty well. In AC, where Cloud was mentally ill, Vincent saved Cloud from Kadaj and brothers and (✔) took him to safer place. That was a common thing to do. But let’s go deeper, Cloud never told him about himself, but Vincent already  (✔) aware of Cloud’s trouble with the geostigma stuff and Cloud’s current mental status. Vincent, (✔) calm and soft like always (✔) didnt hesitate to asked if all of these were just about ‘fighting’ and it made Cloud to ‘re-think’ further about his problem. He (✔) didnt pressure Cloud here, instead he was (✔) helping Cloud to understand the condition he was facing, and this lead Cloud to avoid distress.
Aerith Gainsborough -
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I know Aerith was special. She was an important character and devs created her to be ‘loved’ by the fans so that her death would be tragic. Aerith did almost all the things that shouldnt be done when giving MFA to mentally ill person. Some of u may say “Duh, Aerith didnt know anything about Cloud thus she had no intentions of giving him MFA”. Yup, ure right. Aerith didnt know about Cloud’s mental status but so as all the other characters in the series. 
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Aerith was [X] being pushy with Cloud, in lots of ways, from making him as a bodyguard for free to forcing him to wear a dress. She [X] forced Cloud to accept her idea about meeting Andrea, dance and gown. She also [X] forced Cloud to help picking the flowers. Aerith [X] didn’t let Cloud to have his own decision [X] neither giving him a chance to talk,  and [X] abandon his feelings (cough..uhm, Aerith resolution). She also had [X] no respect on Cloud’s personal space and [X] too much touching and leaning to him. Aerith also [X] put herself in danger and that worried Cloud.  She [X] looked down on Cloud in someways too
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However, at the Sector 5 slum, where the hooded man appeared, Aerith noticed Cloud was having trouble with himself, she (✔) encouraged Cloud to keep himself together. Also, throughout the entire game, Aerith always remind the team to (✔) have hope in everything. Her positive vibrant attitude was what (✔) made everyone able to believe in themselves. She also (✔) ensure Marlene’s safety and protected her. She was able to (✔) remain soft and calm when approaching Marlene. Remember Betty? Aerith took her time to helped her out and she even (✔) respected the little girl’s strength, (✔)slow and steady when saving her and (✔)soft spoken
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Tifa Lockhart -
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Tifa met Cloud at the train station, saw him being ‘not-so-fine’ state despite Cloud claiming he was completely okay. Tifa didn’t know what Cloud had gone through and  she (✔) didn’t pressure him to talk about it. She even helped him to (✔) find a place to sleep even when Cloud never asked for it. Tifa unconsciously was the first person to give Cloud MFA without knowing what Cloud had faced previously. And Cloud, on that moment, he really needed a help. Tifa also (✔) stated that if Cloud need anything, she would help him with it
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Tifa (✔) remain calm everytime Cloud had sudden headache, she didn’t leave him alone and (✔) didnt put any pressure on him by asking question. During the (✔) Alone At Last, they had privacy Tifa asked about what happened after he left Nibelheim. She (✔) listened and didnt interrupt him, (✔) neither pushing him to talk more. Moreover, Tifa (✔) put a distance with Cloud, dunno if she was the one who was being uncomfortable or she actually (✔) respect Cloud’s personal space and privacy. Tifa (✔) didn’t force him to stay at Midgar, she asked him and was glad Cloud would stay for a while. Tifa was no doubt (✔) respect all Cloud’s decisions too. Also, don’t forget, Tifa also helped Cloud to help (✔) make ‘close connection’ with the Avalanche members and people in Sector 7 slums. She also (✔) didn’t do much touching with Cloud (Well, I mean, she didnt touch him in clingy way)
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In AC, Tifa (✔) encouraged Cloud to have hope for Geostigma and the family
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Tifa did [X] put herself in danger by becoming Corneos bride participant and that gave Cloud trouble (but Tifa ensured him she would be fine on her own previously) And btw, in OG, I read about the fans questioning why Tifa [X] didnt tell Cloud the truth. I would like to argue this matter. TIFA IS A CHARACTER WITH REAL HUMAN FLAWS, she too had her own traumatic event and was not really sure of herself on what to do. However, considering what Tifa had done for him, Tifa had helped with Cloud’s psychology the most.
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I know Cloud was putting up a font, and that made him to have condescending attitude, and people couldnt see what Cloud was hiding behind the the bravery face. However, all of us as fans acknowledged the pain Cloud was suffering in the entire FF7 story. Some of the characters like Tifa, Marle, Vincent, Biggs noticed it and they took actions for it, while others, I do personally thing, they were hurting the Real Cloud’s mentality more. 
Long story short, Tifa was the one who gave mental health support the most to Cloud, followed by Vincent (AC), Biggs and Marle. Aerith did the worst with Real Cloud's mentality + she then died, mking Cloud be more miserable,
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However, Aerith actually had the best way to give MFA/PFA to children, but maybe the worst to Cloud. While Tifa gave the best MFA to Cloud which helped him to get himself together through out the entire time
Alright thats the end of my talk. Thank you for being with meee
100 notes · View notes
krreader · 5 years ago
Note
I've had mild symptoms. A tempeture, and cough really. I was in quarantine for 2 weeks and then I had to do another test. I was so glad though since I couldn't go anywhere, I got a lot of my online classes done!!!
I just wanted to post all of these, because you all helped me more than I can say. I was so scared and confused at first, but hearing all your stories made me feel so much better. If any of you is testing positive in the future, save this post and read through it, all these lovely people are a massive help!!!!!!
anonymous asked: my best friend tested positive but they didn’t call her same as you and she payed a little more for a better test and it came out negative. Could be a false positive!
@nendere asked: tips from my friend who's a front line nurse now. You need a lot of hot liquid and nutritious food. But not coffee, that's dehydrating. Keep yourself warm. After 7-15 days your symptoms can disappear if you're taking it lightly. If you have a cough, don't lie down, lay on your side or sit. relax your muscles. stay in a good ventilated room. if you throat starts to hurt, eat a teaspoon of honey. You should not leave the house for a month,for a month you still have the virus and can infect others.
anonymous asked:  I’m sorry to hear you got Covid! When it happened to my dad, he actually got really sick. The doctor had him and my whole family quarantine for 14 days and then retest. We all tested too, but luckily were negative, but still had to quarantine. When he finally got a negative test, we were all good to unquarantine. Depending how sick you are tho, take longer if you need it/are able to! Bc my dad really needed longer to recoup than the 14 days and he had side effects for a while.
anonymous asked:  Girl dont worry and dont stress yourself my aunt and cousin had it but now they dont anymore drink a lote of water vitamin C and zinc trust everyday do that try to stay a little active like if u live alone do some cleaning to keep u moving if u live in an area thats a little empty just wear ur mask and go for a walk far away from people dont just stay in bed when my aunt had it she said she didnt feel anything she just couldnt smell or taste anything at all like she’ll eat a spoonfull of mustard and not feel a thing. But trust vitaminC zinc water are the key and dont stress aver it its gonna pass i promise we love you Hey im the anon who talked about the vitamin c and zinc also if you have some lemons try to make a lemon juice its also really good
anonymous asked:  Omg I hope you’re doing ok and will continue to do so. My mom got COVID a few months back, she had to do 14 days of quarantine or until she had two negative tests in a row. But that’s in Denmark, I’m not sure how Germany handles things😥
anonymous asked: Omg, I hope you get better :( As long as I know you have to stay at home at least for 2 weeks, but idk how true this info is, I live in 3rd world lmao Take care bby 💕
@softyoongistuff asked:  Hi! First of all I hope you get well really soon. I have had people in my family who got thise virus. While the virus is deadly, it nothing that young blood can't fight. I am sure you'll get well soon. As for the stay at home thing, quarantine yourself for at least 14 days. Drink lots of immunity booster tea, which includes a pinch of tea, ginger, lemon, and black pepper. Drink this at least 3 times a day, you can add a bit of sugar to it. While its not medically approved? its really affecting in boosting the immunity, as proven according to ayurveda. Take steams. Eat healthy. Do a bit of exercise and deep breathing. Practice some yoga, like pranayam. Record your temperature too. Hope this helps.✊🏼
anonymous asked:  Hey Michelle! I’m sorry that you got covid but I’ve been there too (actually, this is my first week after recovering) I’d recommend for you to take paracetamol if you got fever for more than 1 day! Stay at home, rest and be careful with back pains, that can mean something is not right on your lungs! Also, try to take showers only at daytime and to not drink anything cold. What I learnef from this is that those little things can affect and get it worst! Be careful and please, keep us updated! It’s gonna be fine :)💖💖
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honeyhenry · 5 years ago
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traitor - b.b (part 5)
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
A/N: oooo one more part to goooo and perhaps an epilogue! this one took me ages and i am so sorry but i hope it makes up for it! also i tried to check and edit it but its literally 1am soooo any mistakes are also mine lol
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Faint bruises. Tangled hair. He has nothing to lose.
‘You have no idea how much I wish he was mine too’
Bucky tenses, aware of the tiny grip still clutching onto his hand, now fiercely protective of the wide eyed baby he has loved so fully since he first knew of them.
‘You shouldn’t be here, Steve’
He doesn’t need a long winded explanation from the man who is in competition for this child’s parentage. But as his friend, a reminder of what the Captain once meant to Bucky, he owes Steve at least the chance to provide an answer as to what the fuck has been going on behind his back.
However, Bucky’s thoughts don’t always line up with the words that end up leaving his mouth, and he starts rambling on, finding that he is only so emotional and angry when his family are involved.
‘Have you come to gloat about it then? Was cheating on your own wife with mine not enough?! Could you not have knocked up your own wife and saved all this bullshit?’
Steve’s heart plunges as he takes a seat on the rocking chair - noting its similarity to the one he had planned on building last year in his own house, next to his own room, for his child.
‘I-I did.”
“What? You sayin’ you did sleep with my wife you damn punk?!”
“No!” he cries, just as Bucky heads towards Steve, his metal hand curled into a fist so tight that he’s glad the baby can’t see over the edge of the crib to view the man he recognised as safe become the dangerous weapon he had hoped had vanished without a trace.
“I did...I did get my own wife pregnant, I did. We were…she, she was due a month before y/n was.’
Steve doesn't have to say what happened or “she lost it” for Bucky to understand. He’s glad Steve doesn't have to.
The Captain swallows back the heavy emotion caught in his throat, choking out the rest of his sentence as if he was struggling to breathe; ‘Our baby sweetpea. God, nothing can compare to that love you feel, you know? When you find out after trying and getting a nursery set up and nicknames and just thinking of everything they could someday be. We were so excited, and then to hear that y/n was due the month after us and- and everything was meant to be okay.’
Bucky remembers throwing each and every punch at this broken shell of a man only days ago, who was crumbling before him once more, but this time purely in an emotional sense, not physical, as the strong barrier he’d put up to protect himself and his wife was being demolished bit by bit at each passing second of his confession.
‘Steve..fuck Steve I never in-’ he tries to speak but he stops. It wouldn’t do any good. He can’t bring the Rogers’ baby sweetpea back. And nothing will.
‘Buck, I need you to understand that your son is not mine. I spent the two days before leaving for the mission with my own wife. Nothing happened I swear, i didnt even see y/n. We’re just trying to piece everything back together but its been a year and...I don’t think its gonna happen for us.’ He sobers up, sniffing after the slow fall of tears tracing down his face come to a halt.
Bucky knows he’s been a real punk, an asshole, deserving of a good beating himself. He should’ve been there helping his friend get through such hard times, not beating him up over false accusations. 
“Steve, don’t say that. Sometimes it can just take a little while. I’m always around to talk. End of the line, et cetera.”
He pats his friend on the back as they embrace in a tender hug. A silent promise to each other that there’ll be no further miscommunication or bitter, unsaid words.
The two men peer over the crib, and Bucky smiles sadly at the blue eyed beauty resting there. It was a comfortable silence, gazing at his namesake, until Steve piped up with a chuckle.
‘He’s gonna have your hair y’know. Your ma always showed me pictures back in the day and you were blonde before you were even walkin’.” Bucky grins, remembering the pictures laden on the windowsill of his childhood home, showcasing a happy toddler James. The normalcy of the moment is comforting. “And he has your hands” Steve continues,”He’s a sturdy little guy, he’s gonna be so much fun, Buck. He's already big for his age, too.”
Bucky can quickly understand why Steve is so knowledgeable on this topic, and how he can so easily reassure him, realising that for 2 sweet months, Steve had thrown himself into the role of ‘daddy’ to his own unborn child. The Sergeant goes to apologise again, still barely able to understand his pain but fully aware that his best friend did not deserve this.
“Steve, I can’t even begin to describe to you how sorry I am, from the bottom of my heart...I trust you, I do. I just- JJ is my weakness. I can’t lose him, or y/n. He’s our little piece of heaven.”
The father moves to wrap his hands under the armpits of his baby, picking up the round cuddly boy who coos and kicks his fat little legs. He rests happily in Bucky’s arms, knowing he is safe, surrounded by love, and at home. He rests a hand on Bucky’s cheek and beams a sweet smile towards his Daddy.
“Hi buddy, yeah it’s daddy, daddy’s got you now, and look! Uncle Stevie is here!” He turns the sweet babe in his arms towards Steve, who smiles goofily, as Bucky plants a kiss on JJ’s cherubic cheek. They play around a little with JJ, the baby heartily laughing every time Bucky made him fake-punch Steve in the chest or face. After a while, as JJ settles against his father’s chest, revelling in the comfort Bucky provides, Steve quirks his head up, a question coming to mind that he hadn't thought to ask.
“Who even put that idea into your head anyways?”
“...Sam.”
“Buck...Sam?! You can’t have thought jack about anything that Sam has to say. He really is a bird brain sometimes, God, you really based this off of Sam, huh?”
Bucky blushes, hiding behind a soft, nervous chuckle. He really has no explanation or defence for what he did. All he knows is that he's got to resolve it.
“Steve can you take J? I’ve got a Momma to apologise to”
Bucky is quiet as he moves downstairs, leaving Steve to play contently with his Godson. He hopes he finds you soon, and he prays to God you will forgive him for the utter mess he has needlessly created.
"Y/n? Honey? Where are you?”
He checks the living room, the kitchen, the hallways. 
All to find no sign of you.
“Baby I’m getting scared here, if this is to get back at me then I’m sorry! I’m dying out here-”
He halts.
A single sob can be heard from the bathroom. It’s muffled but it means you’re here and you’re alive. Bucky has never felt so relieved.
“Y/N, doll please- are you alone in there? Babydoll please, let me apologise”
You take a few moments to compose yourself, and open the door. Bucky has never seen you look so small, with tear tracks dried down your cheeks from red puffy eyes.
But it’s what you say next that truly makes his heart feel like it’s been plunged into an icy cold river.
“I think it’s best you leave, James.”
------------
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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years ago
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Promise (Jungkook x You x Yoongi ONESHOT)
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MASTERLIST
A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here and you are in no way obligated to do it but if any of you like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜
“I’m pregnant,”
“Oh fuck,”
Y/N looks at the boy in front of her with wide eyes. Did the firat word that came out from his mouth is oh fuck?
“Jungkook?”
“Are you sure?” He ran his hand through his hair multiple times, brows furrowed. “I mean.. it could be a false positive. We only did it a few times and its your first time too. How can you be pregnant?”
“Well…” Y/N held up the 10 sticks in front of him. 10 sticks of pregnancy tests that has a big fat positive sign on it. “If all 10 of this faulty, then maybe I should just sue the company. And also,” she pass him a slip of paper. “I already went to the doctors to confirm before I came to you. I needed to be sure too,”
“Y/N…” Jungkook weakly took the paper and scan its content. Yes, his girlfriend is a few weeks pregnant.
“We are going to be okay right Kookie? We love each other. And I know we are young, but we can do this right?” Y/N tried to smile, holding his hand. “I can find some work and you can do so many things. You have a bright future ahead of you. You c-”
“Thats exactly it Y/N,” Jungkook cuts her off and pull his hand back.
“W-what do you mean?” She looks at his retracted hand and back up at his face. Something is going to go very wrong, she can feel it.
“We are young. A-and I do have a bright future ahead of me…” Jungkook looks at her with sad eyes. “Y/N… remember that audition I went to?”
“Y-yeah?”
“I didnt win that but I got 7 different other offers instead and I have chosen one. I’m going to be a trainee. A trainee to become an idol!” Jungkook smile. Y/N knows this has been his long time dream. She wont stop him from going right?
Y/N looks at the smiling boy in front of her.
“You got in?!” She jumped excitedly and hugged him. “Then whats the problem? You can train and I’ll find work for a few years first until you debut. We can stay in Seoul together Kookie and start a new life!” Y/N grins. “I know you will debut and be successful one day. You are Jeon Jungkook, I believe in you Kookie,”
“Y/N…” Jungkook pushes her slowly, breaking the hug and is met with confusion from her. “I cant bring you… I… uh… I am not allowed to date until I debut and a few years after that in fact..,”
“W-what?” Y/N was shocked to the core. What is he saying? Is he breaking up with her? When shes carrying his child? “But.. what about..” she looks down and rub her still flat stomach.
“I-I dont know,” Jungkook sighed. “Honestly, I dont. But.. we will find a way, I promise okay?” Jungkook smile and hugs her, kissing her forehead. “I’ll never leave you and our baby alone. You will never ever be alone, I promise,”
/////
“Eommmmaaaaa!”
Y/N was drag out from her memories at the sound of her 5 year old daughter calling her name. She quickly wiped her tears and look at the little girl.
“Yes Jasmine, what is it baby?”
“Until when will grandma sleep in the ground? Its dirty!” She pouted. “Is she not coming home?”
“Well.. baby… grandma uh.. she went to a special place to sleep, and the ground is the way in. She likes that place so much she told me to tell you that she wont be coming back until quite some tine. Okay baby?” Y/N stroke her daughter’s hair softly.
“Okay eomma. But tell her to come back soon. I miss her,”
“I know baby. I know,” Y/N sighed and hugs Jasmine tightly, whispering, “I miss her too. More than you can ever know,”
The day Y/N told Jungkook that she was pregnant was the last day she ever saw or heard from him. He went back home that night, with a promise that everything will be alright, that she wont be alone and he will come up with a plan. But he dissapeared the same night, no texts, no calls, no messages, no one knows where and never came back. Y/N worked hard to raised her daughter up alone with the help of her single mother. Jeon Jasmine, she named her, but she can never answer when the little girl asks why her family name is different than her eomma or where her appa is. Soon, Jasmine stop asking and the three of them live happily together, the memory of Jungkook locked away. Until Y/N’s mother passed away a week ago and Jasmine keep wondering where she went.
Grandma sleeping at a special place is the best excuse she could come up with and after a week, Y/N decided that its time. She have to move on and make new memories someplace else with Jasmine.
A new job, a new place, a new life, just the two of them.
“And baby? We are going to a special place too. Not the same place Grandma went to, but another one okay. Lets go. Pick up your stuffed bunny and lets go okay?” Y/N place her on the ground and picked up the two luggage bags, fitting only the things they needed the most. New memories requires new things, right? and she take a step into a new future, hoping to forget every awful memory that ever happen in Busan.
You promise I’ll never be alone. Then what am I now Jungkook? Y/N sighed and looks down when she felt a tug at her hand and saw Jasmine smiling at her, making her heart soared. Well, Kookie, maybe you are right, I will never be alone afterall.
/////
Y/N looks up from the newspaper in her hand to the small building in front of her. This is the right adress, so this must be the place.
Hiring Coffee Girl
Y/N tapped the newspaper again, takes a deep breath and walks in. Being a coffee girl is not exactly a high paying job, but after dropping out from school to raise Jasmine, Y/N only works a few odd jobs here and there in her small hometown, which means she has no experience to apply for a high paying job in the big city of Seoul. But coffee? That she can do.
“H-hello?” Y/N nervously looks around the building. How can a supposedly entertainment company be this quiet. Yeah, its a small, unknown one, but surely they must have a handful of staff atleast? Theres not even a reception in this building. A building that doesnt even look like an office. Y/N wandered around the building, finding courage in herself to explore more. She came all this way, with what little money she have, she have to ace this interview.
Getting a little deeper into the building, she passed a few closed doors and finally hears music coming from a bright lighted room. With shaky hands and sweaty palms, she makes her way to the room and knock softly on the slightly ajar door.
“H-hello? Is anybody in here?”
No answer.
After knocking a few more times Y/N decided to push the door, only to be greeted by the bright light of the room. With blinking eyes she focuses herself and saw the room is some sort of a music room, with a grand piano located right in the middle of it. But what catches her eyes the most is the man sitting at the piano, head between his hands, slumping in frustration.
Y/N nervously take a few small steps closer and whisper.
“H-hi. Hello? S-sir?”
Still no answer.
“S-sir?” She reached out and tap the man’s shoulder, who immediately whipped his around, glaring at her, making her jump.
“What?!”
“I-I’m sorry. I didnt mean to disturb you but I-”
“Who the hell are you?!” The man turned fully at her and Y/N managed to sink in his features. He is good looking, no doubt. With short black hair, his beautiful pale skin glowing, his dark eyes shooting her death glares.
He is the most beautiful man she has ever seen.
“Are you deaf? Or u cant talk or something?” He waves his hand in front of her, making her jump again. “Heeellloooo?”
“S-sorry. I-im here to interview for the coffee girl position?” She stuttered.
“Do I look like an interviewer to you? Get out from here. This is private practice!” The man huffed and turned back around to his piano, shuffling through his music notes.
“Sorry,” Y/N quickly bows and turned to leave but stopped in her tracks when she heard a loud sigh from that same man, while loudly mumbling to himself.
“What cant I get this next note right? God damn it!” He slammed his hands on the piano keys, making a loud noise. Y/N knew she shouldnt, especially after the man just told her directly to get out but she turned around and approach him anyway.
“M-maybe I can help. M-may I? See? Your music notes?”
He looks up and glares at her.
“You? Coffee girl? What the hell do you know about music?” He scoffs.
“Maybe not as much as you Sir,” Y/N starts to get annoyed. How arrogant is this man? “But it seems like you are stuck and maybe a fresh perspective from a coffee girl can help,” she gritted her teeth, glaring back straight to his face. The man kept quiet for a moment before sighing.
“Fine, what do I have got to lose anyway,”
Y/N smile and took the papers he offered. After reading through and thinking for a moment, she smile.
“How about this? May I?” She gestured to the piano. “Sure. Go ahead,” he scooted a bit to give her space.
“I was thinking of something like this,” she starts to press the keys, making out a beautiful melody that fits the next part of the song perfectly. The man turns to her, mouth gaped open.
“H-how did you think of that? I have spent 4 days locked up in here, trying to think of the perfect continuation for that part!”
“Well,” she smiles, “sometimes a fresh perspective is all you need,”
“Are you sure you are just a coffee girl?” The man looks at her skeptically.
“Well, I am not practically hired yet, but I am hoping I would be. I reaaaaally need a job,” Y/N shrugs.
“No, I mean, you must have some sort of knowledge or maube some dumb luck or talent in music to do this so effortlessly. Who are you?”
“Well.. I do have a big interest in music. Me and my boyfriend, well, uh… my ex boyfriend,” Y/N gave a small smile at the memory of Jungkook, “use to compose songs together. I also studied music a little before I dropped out from school,”
“Do you still need a job?” The man looks at her with a serious face now.
“Yeah. I absolutely need one,”
“Then I am going to get you one,” he flashed a gummy smile and pull her hand.
“Wait, where are we going?!”
“To meet the CEO,”
“C-CEO?! Does the CEO really need to interview me for just a coffeegirl position!?” Y/N shrieked, making the man laugh.
“Of course not. We couldnt care less who will make us coffee. But I am going to make you a song writer for the company,” he grins again.
“W-what?!” Y/N felt dizzy. Is this man for real?
He just smile and continue to drag her to a room on the second floor. Suddenly he stops right before entering the room and smile, his hand shooting out to hers.
“I am going to be your colleague. We are going to spend a lot of time together since we are gonna be writing songs. I should at least know your name coffee girl,” he grins.
“I-Im Y/N. L/N Y/N,” Y/N reached out and shook his hand.
“Hi Y/N. I’m Yoongi. Min Yoongi, and it would be a pleasure to work with you,”
/////
“Working hard?”
Y/N jumped when that soft whisper hits her ears and turned around to smack the source of the voice right in the head.
“Owww!” “Serves you right Min Yoongi!” She pouted. “I told you dont sneak up on me when I am working!”
“But I brought coffee, and donuts. Is that enough to forgive me?” He gave her his famous gummy smile, holding up the tray of hot coffees and brown paperbag filled with donuts.
“Hmmm, depends,” Y/N crosses her arms and pretends to think. “Is it strawberry filled?”
“Of course it is. Dont you know by now to not underestimate Min Yoongi?”
“Then you are forgiven,” she smile and catch the bag that Yoongi threw at her. “Mmhhm delicious!”
Yoongi took a seat in front of her and smile. Writing music time is his favorite part of work. Sure, it has always been his favorite, but ever since that fateful day Y/N walks in looking for the coffeegirl position, it has gone even better.
“So, how was your band mates?”
“Oh right!” Yoongi smile. After years or training and just coped up writing music, he is finally introduced to another 6 trainees that will soon debut with him as part of the same group. Earlier today was the first time they actually officially met each other. Sure, he has seen them around the company sometimes, but never propeely introduced. “They are great. But I am the second oldest. Which means I have 5 bratty little brothes to deal with. I thought having you is punishment enough,” he laughs.
“Yahh. Who are you kidding? You love me,” Y/N giggles and continue to eat her donuts, which fillings has now dripped on her chin. Yoongi smiles at the sight of her scrunching her nose, brows furrowed trying to wipe the mess and mumble only loud enough for him to hear.
“I do. I really do love you,”
“Did you say something?” Y/N looks up at him, taking him by surprise.
“N-no. Just got some inspiration for the music. Stop eating and lets get to work you piggy,” he laughs and ruffles her hair.
“Yah, Im no piggy!” Y/N giggles. “Anyway, how long do you think PD-nim will keep with the rule that only married woman can meet and work with your group? I want to meet them too!” Y/N pouts.
“Well, a rule is a rule, and we are all devastatingly good looking you know, you might fall in love,” he laughs.
“That rule shouldnt apply to me. I have a kid!” Y/N protested. “And I am already working with you, for so many hours a day too! Whats the difference?”
“You might have a kid, but you are still single,” Yoongi rolled her eyes. Y/N had introduced Jasmine to him a month after they started working together, and just like her mother, the little girl managed to win his cold heart in a matter of seconds. “And its different with me. You knew me before I was an idol. Before I get all this cool clothes, 10 inch makeup and this swaggie dance moves. You already see me as a friend,” Yoongi smiles although deep inside he wished Y/N would say something about how he is more than a friend.
Y/N shrugs.
“Whatever. I still think the rule is stupid. I worked here but I cant see them? Stu-pid,” Y/N rolls her eyes and start to work. “But hey, atleast I get to spend time with you. And thats more than enough, right Yoongs?”
Yoongi smile at the nickname.
“Absolutely,”
/////
Y/N woke up that morning with her heart beating fast. She can feel something is happening today but she cant put her finger on what it is. Anxiously, she gets ready, take a shower, prepare breakfast for the two of them and send Jasmine off to school and make her way to the studio. Yoongi has a schedule today, so she will be working alone.
She smile at the thought.
Who knew that grumpy man she accidentally met a year ago, yes, a year ago, become one of her bestfriends and also a member of an idol group. Yoongi has debuted a year ago and to this day, she still dont know who his bandmates are or ever meet them. She always miss their show due to her busy schedule, balancing between work and taking care of Jasmine, and since the group dont have that many shows to begin with, she never get the chance to see them.
1 new message Yoongs 😊
Y/N smile and clicked open the text. She knows hes busy but he never fails to atleast wish her a good morning. Without realizing, her face etched with a huge smile. Y/N shakes her head and clears her throat as she realized what shes doing. Why am I smiling just from his name anyway?
Im taking you to lunch today. You are finally meeting my infamous bandmates. See you at 1 😘
/////
Y/N smoothed down her wrinkled shirt as she paced back and forth in front of the building, waiting for Yoongi. She dont know how to feel right now, nervous? Not exactly. Trying to impress? Not so much. But she do want to atleast look presentable in front of Yoongi’s bandmates. She has been bugging him to let her meet them for a year and now that he managed to do so, she should atleast act her best.
A few minutes later a small van with tinted window stopped in front of the building and out the first face she seens coming out fron the sliding door flashed her a big gummy smile.
“Yoongs!” She jumped and hugs him. Yoongi laugh and hugged her back.
“Wow, someone is excited to see me. I feel so touched,”
“Yah, I’m lonely. Writing songs alone is not as much fun as it sounds okay!” She pouted playfully and smack his chest.
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. To make it up to you, I am finally giving you your wish. Come meet my bandmates,” he takes her hand and leads her closer to the van. One by one they climb out fron the van, smiling, shaling her hands, telling her how they love her songs and how Yoongi talked so much about her.
“Thats Seokjin-hyung, Jimin, Namjoon, Hoseok..” Yoongi peered inside. “Wheres the maknaes?”
“They are coming out. Tae is trying to wake our sleeping beauty,” Jin explained. “Sorry, our youngest like to sleep,” he gave a small laugh.
“Its alright. You guys must be tired. Thank you for still making time to have lunch with me,” Y/N smiles. Before Jin coukd answer, Taehyung climbed out from van.
“Hes awake! I did it. Hi, I’m Taehyung,” he grins and gave his hand for a handshake. Y/N who is still starstruck by his beauty awkwardly take his hand as the “sleeping beauty” everyone talked about climbed out the car, which almost give Y/N a heart attack.
“Hi, sorry, I’m Jung-
“J-Jungkook?”
All six pairs of eyes are opened wide at whats happening in front of them. Their faces turned from Y/N’s shocked face to Jungkook’s disbelief reaction.
“Wait, do you guys know each ot-” Yoongi didnt managed to finish his question when suddenly a pretty girl ran up to the group and hugs Jungkook tight.
“Babyyy, I have waited for so long! Me and the baby is hungry!” She pouted playfully and rubbed the slight bumped on her stomach. Y/N’s mind is spinning as she tries to register what is happening in front of her. “Oh sorry, I didnt realized theres someone else,” the girl giggles and turn to Y/N, bows and sticks out a hand.
“I’m Nayla, Kookies’ fiancee. And this is our soon to be Kookie junior,” she smile and rubbed her stomach again. “And you are?”
“I-I,” Y/N’s eyes flicked over to Jungkook’s face who just look at her with a sad expression. Not sad for the situation, but more like sad for her. “I uh, I have to go,” she bows quickly and ran back inside as fast as she can, leaving everyone in confusion.
/////
“Hey.. Y/N? Are you in here?” Yoongi’s soft voice calls out to here and she sense a figure coming closer to her as she quickly wipes her eyes but to no avail. The tears just keeps on coming. Yoongi sighed and sits on the floor besides her.
“H-how do you know I’ll be here?” She whispered, making Yoongi smile.
“Because, this is your sad room. I know you come here when you had a writers’ block, or you feel like your work is not good enough or when you are feeling anything bad at all,”
“Y-you notice?”
“Of course I do. I just thought you would appreciate it if I leave you alone whenever you come in here,”
“Then why arent you leaving me alone now?”
“Because I dont know what makes you sad this time. And I want to make you feel better. But I cant do that if you wont tell me. So… can you tell me? Please?” Yoongi scooted closer and tuck a stray hair behind her ears. “Please?”
“I-,” Y/N sniffles. “J-Jungkook…”
“You know Jungkook? I know hes a maknae brat, but what could he have done to make you this upset,” Yoongi wondered out loud. “Want me to beat him up?”
Y/N lets out a small smile in between her tears.
“N-no,” she smiles and takes a deep breath. “Jungkook… he uh..” Y/N starts to cry again. “J-Jungkook.. he is… Jasmine’s father,”
“What?!”
“And Yoongi, he has a fiance and a baby on the way!” Y/N burst out crying and Yoongi immediately leap forward and engulfed her in his tight hug. “Im alone Yoongs.. I thought when I find him I wont be alone anymore. B-but.. Jasmine and me will be alone,”
No, Y/N,“ Yoongi strokes her hair softly. “I promise you Y/N. You wont ever be alone. I’ll take care of you. I promise, I’ll take care of you,”
/////
Maybe its true when people say omce you notice or know something, you will never unseen it. After that fateful lunch meet up, Y/N keep seeing Yoongi’s band mates everywhere in the company. Of course, Jeon Jungkook included. Funny how for the one year she worked there, she didnt even crossed their shadow.
Still, she tries her best to avoid them l at any costs until one day, while she went to the rehearsal room early to meet Yoongi. He usually came early to finish a verse or two before their dance rehearsal and Y/N usually meet him there for a little catch up on work and leave before the others arrive. But as she pushed open the door, Yoongi was no where in sight, but she was met with a sweaty, dancing Jungkook instead.
“Oh.. uh, hi,” Jungkook immediately turned off the music player and stops, wiping a small towel over the sweats on his face.
“Uh.. hi.. s-sorry. I was looking for Yoongi. He usually come here early..” Y/N looks down and fiddles with her fingers from the awkward tension. How can she felt awkward with the same guy who whispered words of love in her ear years ago?
“Oh. Something came up, so hyung will arrive a bit late today. You are welcone to wait,” Jungkook motioned to one of the couches.
“Uh.. thanks..” Y/N looks around, still not sure what to do. Should she just leave and text Yoongi?
“So how are you? We havent seen each other for so long,” Jungkook cuts off her thoughts, smiling at her. Y/N looks at him. How can he be so casual when the last time they saw each other is when she told him she was pregnant? And never heard from him again?
“Im good,” she smiles. “Im a song writer now. But of course you know that,” she slapped her forehead. “Obviously I write songs for your band,” she gives a small laugh. Jungkook smiles back at her.
“Yes, you are. So how is working with hyung? We are all scared to disturb him when hes writing, but you seems to be able to work well with him?”
“Yoongi is great actually. And he helped me a lot,” Y/N smile at the thought. “He works really hard. Im actually here becayse he actually always tired to fit in some writing before all of you have to rehearse your dance,”
“Ohhhh, typical hyung,” Jungkook smiles. “But Joonie hyung told me the rap line has something came up today. So they will be late. You want me to take a message?”
“Well…” Y/N thought for a moment. “Yeah, that would be great actually. Just tell him that I cant stay because I need to go school,”
“School?” Jungkook looks at her, confused. “Are you still studying?”
“Oh right no,” Y/N laughs, realizing Jungkook must be confused. “I need to go to Jasmine’s school. They are having a-”
“Jasmine?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow and Y/N realized she never actually had a chance to introduce him to his daughter. Y/N feels her eyes starts to water and smile softly. This is the forst time Jungkook even hears his daughter’s name.
“Jasmine… well,” she spoke softly, eyes never leaving his. “Jasmine is my daughter. Well, actuallu, she is our daug-”
“Stop,” Jungkook raised his hand to stop her from finishing her sentence. Y/N looks at him with confusion. “Dont finish that sentence. I know what you are trying to say Y/N and I dont want to hear it. I dont want to know about her. At all,”
Y/N felt like her heart stopped. She knows Jungkook most probably dont love her anymore, but she had thought he would atleast feel something for his daughter? A little girl who never knew who her father was.
“Jungkook, I-”
“I know maybe you think by bringing her up I will feel regret, or maybe you can rekindle our love or something,” Jungkook sighed. “But let me tell you this now. I dont know how or what kind of funny joke the universe is trying to pull, that you somehow ended up working here of all places, but we are over. What we had are in the past and we will never be together again. We were teenagers, and I dont think I was even in love with you back then,” Jungkook runs a hand through his hair while Y/N is still dumbfounded about everything he says.
“Jung-”
“Let me finish ok?” He stops her. “I dont regret what I did. I know that makes me an asshole, but I am happy now. I love Nayla. I will do anything for her. And we have a baby on the way. And that baby is my daughter. I love my career and I have a bright future ahead of me, so please, please dont do anything that would jeapordize what I had or I swear Y/N, I’ll make you regret it. Clear?”
Y/N blinked a few times, the pain in her chest is killing her, her eyes trying hard to blink back the tears. Is this the Jungkook that she knows and love? How is he this heartless?
“C-clear,”
“Good,” without hesitation Jungkook turns and plays the song again and continue his dance, leaving Y/N standing there, frozen.
“Hey, you are early today,” Y/N turns and see Yoongi smiling at her. Without realizing, the other members are already entering the room one by one, chit chatting and placing their bags at the corner, ready to rehearse. She lifted her head to look at Jungkook, who is smiling and greeting his hyungs like their conversation never even happened.
“Yeah..” she smile weakly. “I uh just want to tell you that I dont feel well, so I’m gonna head home early today. Have a fun rehearsal,” Y/N smile, bows and quickly ran out before Yoongi can say anything.
/////
He knows. Jungkook knows that Y/N is avoiding him ever since the conversation they had in the rehearsal room. Jungkook didnt regret what he said because he meant every single word. He have a good thing going with Nayla and his career and he doesnt want a blast from the past to ruin it. But why is it he found himself cranking his neck to see if Y/N walks pass the hall? Or feeling irritated that Y/N didnt make any more effort to talk to him, or to introduce Jasmine to him? Or the feeling of extreme annoyance that Yoongi keeps on talking about her? He knows for sure that Yoongi knows about their history. Though his hyung never mentioned anything about it, but from the way Yoongi eyed him up and down or the sarcastic remarks he makes sometimes, Jungkook knows Yoongi knows exactly what happened. But what he doesnt know is, if Yoongi know about that conversation that took place a few days ago.
“Lets go Kookie,” Taehyung nudge him, snapping him out from his thoughts. Taehyung and him wanted to grab some food after the tiring rehearsal while the other hyungs decided to just go back to the dorm and sleep the say away, exhausted. They walked the short distance to their favorite snack stall near the building.
As Taehyung chatted away happily while stuffing his face full, Jungkook caught something at the opposite road in the corner of his eye.
Y/N.
He hasnt seen her for days already. Jungkook keeps on staring, blanking out everything that Taehyung is saying.
What is she doing?
Y/N turns to face him and thats when he realizes that she was talking to a little girl. Jungkook’s heart immediately beats faster at the sight fo the girl’s brown doe eyes, smiling and looking up to her mother with clear adoration.
Jasmine. His daughter.
Jungkook smiles without realizing. Sbe is so beautiful, and happy. Happy without him. Without a father. Because her father disown her. Jungkook’s smile turn to a frown. But the frown gets deeper when he saw Yoongi walks towards them and Jasmine immediately runs to his hyung and hugs him as Yoongi kneels to her height. He saw how Yoongi adjusted his daughter’s beanie and ruffle her hair. And how her tiny hands hugs Yoongi’s neck as he picks her up. How Y/N smiles warmly at the two of them. To everyone else, they look like a freaking happy family. But Jungkook knows better.
Because thats his family. And he wants it back.
/////
Ever since then, Jungkook has been following Y/N’s every step. And hes not being subtle about it either. Hes obviously watching and staying close and keeps on making snide remark about Yoongi and his closeness to her whenever they are together. At one point Y/N have had enough and drag the maknae to an empty rehearsal room.
“Why are you acting like this?”
“I dont know what you mean,” Jungkook shrugs. “Can I go now?”
“No! You know exactly what I mean. Why are you acting like a jealous freak?!” Y/N is frustrated with his behavior
“Fine!” Jungkook raised both his hands. “I dont want you close to hyung. Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Why the hell not? Hes my friend. And who are you to tell me what to do?!”
“Well, for starters, I’m the father of your daughter. I dont want you to simply let my daughter close to anyone!”
“What?!” Y/N looks at him in disbelief. “You said Jasmine is not your kid remember. What? You suddenly want us back now?!” Y/N scoffs.
“N-no. I dont want that. I just…” Jungkook is loss for words.
“Then what do you want from me Jungkook? You said you dont want me to get close. You said you dont want to get to know your daughter, but you flipped out everytime Im close to Yoongi! What the hell do you want?!”
Jungkook kept quite, his chest heaving heavily from his breath, trying to control his emotions. Y/N takes a deep breath and looks at him.
“Jungkook.. I love you. I admit it. I love you. I still do. Even after years you left me and treating me like crap ever since we met again, I still love you,” Y/N confessed. “Choose me Jungkook. Marry me and lets forget the past mistakes. Be with me. Be here for me, for Jasmine. For once in her life. Marry me Jungkook,”
“I-I cant…”
“You… cant? Why? Why Jungkook? Tell me why!”
“I-I dont know! I dont know okay!But all I know is that I dont want to get married now Y/N. I am still young!” Jungkook lets out his frustration. To be honest, he really dont know how he feels.
“You are engaged to Nayla, Jungkook! Engaged to be freaking married!” Y/N screamed back.
“Nayla and me will only be married in a few years time. We never picked a date yet,” Jungkook justify.
“Then fine, okay. I’ll wait. I have waited for so many years, whats a few more.m right? Jungkook, I love you. Please,” Y/N sniffles. “Please, leave Nayla. We have a family. You, me and Jasmine. Please Jungkook, Nayla will understand. We are a family. We are meant to be together!” Y/N reached out and hold his hand. Hoping this time, he wont leave them again.
“Its not because of Nayla or anyone. Dont you get it?! Its you! I dont want to marry you!”
“W-what?” In shock, Y/N drop his hand, mouth gaping open. Jungkook finally said it. Shes the reason why. Shes the reason why Jasmine doesnr have a father. Jungkook left not because he was afraid of commutmentor anything. Its because… of her. Jungkook just doesnt want to marry her.
“Wait Y/N, thats not what I meant,” Jungkook quickly realized what he said and try to reached for her hand again but she swatted it away.
“No Jungkook. For the first time you left me, I finally understand. Its very clear now why. You dont love me. You never did. And you never will. All this years I thought if I found you, I can trt to make you fall in love with me. But how can I? How can I if you never love me in the first place?” Y/N laughs emotionlessly. “I-Im gonna go,”
“No Y/N, wai-”
“No Jungkook. Let me go. And this time I promise I will leave you alone,”
/////
“Hey…” Yoongi smiles and take sits down on the steps besides her. Y/N quickly try to wipe her flowing tears but failed. Its just too much. “I didnt mean to eavesdrop… but I passed by the rehearsal room, and I kinda heard everything. Are you… okay?”
“Why are you so nice to me Yoongs?” Y/N sniffles, letting her tears flows down. She doesnt want to keep it inside anymore. “I am sure you have better things to do than be with me and all my drama. Than entertaining a kid who is not even yours. You dont have to be nice to me just because you feel like you have to. Im okay,”
“Is that what you think Y/N? That I have to?” Yoongi gave a small laugh. Y/N nodded.
“Im a nobody. Just a small town girl who you helped to get a job. You have big things ahead ready for you Yoongs. And I am sorry I drag you into this,”
“Hey…” Yoongi cups her face to make her look at him. “You might be a small town girl who I helped. But I know for sure that even if I didnt, you will be great elsewhere. So actually, I am the one who should thank tou for picking to work with me,” he flashed his gummy smile, making Y/N smile a little. “Y/N… you might be a small town girl, but you are so much more to me,”
Y/N looks him, confusion clear in her eyes.
“You are the girl whos talent so raw, so amazing, it amazes me. You ate the girl who with just a smile, or even a yawn,” he laughs, “makes my heart beats uncontrollably. I dont know how or when it happens… actually, I do,” Yoongi smiles. “It happens from the first day you tapped my shoulder and said I should open up and listen to some fresh persepctive. My heart cant stop beating at the thought of you ever since then, my mind cant stop thinking about you ever since and I just cant bloody stop smiling at the thought of you, at the sound of your name Y/N. There.. you know everything now. So I hope you dont think that I have to take care of you. I hope you know that I want to take care of you, because the thought of you and Jasmine alone or sad or unhappy makes me want to protect you, love you and just.. make you smile again,”
“Yoongi..,” Y/N whispered his name so softly while his eyes still locks on hers. “I… but I cant-”
“Hey,” he takes her hand and rubs it softly. “I am not telling you all this so that you will forget Jungkook or choose me. Its not my intention. Im telling you all this because you need to know how you make me feel, how important you are, how loved and how I need you. You dont have to say anything,”
“Yoongi…” Y/N cleared her throat, eyes glistening with tears. “I care for you. You are what makes me so strong to be here, to start this new life after I move. To face Jungkook and Nayla everyday. But Yoongi… Jungkook is my-”
“I know,” Yoongi smiles and squeezes her hand. “Jungkook is your first love. And its not easy to forget him. I know he is your first love Y/N, and I dont mind. Because… I am going to be your last love, and I promise I will wait however long that takes,”
Y/N mouth gaped open, but nothing came out. Speechless as she stares at Yoongi’s smiling face.
“I love you Y/N,” he whispered and kisses her forehead. “And you dont have to say anything,”
/////
Jungkook is going crazy. He didnt mean to say what he said. He was just so stressed about his feelings that it just came out. He loves Nayla, and the baby. He is happy. Was happy. Everything changes when Y/N appeared again in his life and he starts to doubt everything.
The jealousy, the longing, the constant nagging from Nayla asking why hes acting different… its all just too much. And when Y/N asks him to pick her, choose her, there and then, he lost it. He was scared, he was lost and he doesnt want to do something he will regret. But apparently, he did it anyway.
Its been a few months since then, and Y/N avoided him like a plague. It doesnt help that Yoongi is helping her to avoid Jungkook too, and worse, that hyung is getting extremely close to her too, and that shameless hyung is no longer hiding his feelings for her. His whole band knows about it now, and theres nothing Jungkook can do to stop him. Jungkook needs to see Y/N, to talk to her, to explain everything. He knows what he wants now. Its very clear now. He loves Y/N. He wants to be in her life again, to be Jasmine’s father, to watch her grow up with Y/N by his side. Never again missing anything in her life. Jungkook will be damned if he lets Y/N go to Yoongi. His own band mate. His own hyung. But what if its too late? What if Y/N stops loving him in this past few months? What if he lost his chances for good. He needs to see her.
And he needs to see her now.
“Y/N, please. Just hear me out,” Jungkook pulls her hand before she could escaped. After months trying, he finally gets hold of her writing schedule and waited at the music room where she and Yoongi always work together. He made sure its the day where Y/N is alone, no hyung in sight and waited for her for hours until she showed up. She has no where no run now.
“I have nothing to say to you Jungkook,” Y/N tries to escape but failed.
“But I do. So you need to listen!” Jungkook gripped her hand. “Please?” Y/N sighed and nodded. She cant never resist thise doe eyes.
“Thankyou,” he gives her a small smile. “Y/N, first I want to say I’m sorry. Sorry for saying I dont want to marry you. Sorry for saying I dont want to get to know our daughter. And most of all… sorry for leaving you all those years ago.. when I promised you that you wouldnt be alone,” he takes a deep breath. “I regret everything I did to you. I was stupid, a brat and selfish. I know that. But I also know one thing… I know that I love you. In love with you. And I dont want to live another day without you,”
Jungkook stops and looks at her, trying to gauge her reaction, but nothing. He cant read whats shes feeling, so he decides to continue.
“Y/N… I’ll do anything. I’ll go as fast as you want or as slow as you want. If you want to get married now, lets do that. If you want to wait for 10 more years, I’ll do that too. Please Y/N, you dont have to forgive me, but please, accept me…”
“What about Nayla?” Y/N finally speaks after being quite for a while.
“Nayla..” Jungkook sighs.“Theres something you should know Y/N. That baby.. its not mine,” Y/N gasps, surprised by his confession. “You see… I have been chasing after Nayla for quite some time… but she has always been in love with this one guy, her ex boyfriend. Then one day, she came to me crying, saying shes pregnant and her boyfriend left her… she was scared, and alone.. and for the first time, she said she wanted me. I said yes. I accepted her, and accepted her baby as my own. But.. she left… the guy came back, said he wanted her back and she went back to him. Nayla is not a problem to us anymore Y/N. We can be together,” Jungkook smiles.
After a moment of silence, Y/N lets out a long laugh.
“Y-Y/N?”
“So thats why you are acting like this. Because Nayla left you? Thats it isnt it?”
“What?! No!” Jungkook panics as he realized what Y/N must be thinking about. “No Y/N. I have realized long before she left me that I love you. I want to be with you. You and Jasmine. You!” He held her hand tightly. “Please, believe me Y/N,”
“How can I Jungkook? You have done nothing but breaks my heart and hurt me…”
“I know, I know. But I promise. And this time I really promise, that I will spend the rest of our lives to prove to you that I love you. To shower you with the love that you deserve. To be the father that our daughter deserve. Y/N… I know you still love me,” he places her hand in his heart. “And I promise, you will never be alone again. I will show you how much I love you. I love you Y/N. I love you with everything I got,”
Y/N looks down and looks back up to the face that she had always, always love. The face that he always longed for. Slowly, a smile appeared on her face.
“I love you,” Jungkook smile and leans closer, to finally give her the kiss she has been waiting for so long.
/////
Yoongi immediately turns away from the door and walks out from the building. He is pretty sure Y/N wouldnt notice that he missed their session today.
He was so excited to surprise her today, bringing her favorite donuts. Y/N has been happier lately, and they have been so much closer ever since the Jungkook situation. Yoongi had thought he actually stands a chance. That Y/N has finally moved on ftom her first love. From the speeech he hears Jungkook gave her, and that smile on her face before he leans in to kiss her… well, he knows hows thats going to end.
Yoongi sat at the bench along the road alone, munching on the donuts he bought slowly. This is where he usually meets with Y/N and Jasmine, before they went off for some food or fun activities on his free day. None of that anymore. He is sure Jungkook will be doing that with her now. Yoongi sighed.
“How can someone sounds so sad while eating such delicious donuts?” Yoongi immediately turns around to the sound of the voice and see Y/N walking towards her, smiling. Ia she here to tell him about her and Jungkook. He dont need to know. “And Min Yoongi, are you eating my favorite donuts alone?!”
Yoongi try to give her a smile and pass the bag to her. Y/N smile and take a seat besides him.
“Why the long face?”
“Nothing you need to know,” Yoongi shrugs. “You look happy today,”
“Yes. Its a good day today,”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I fell in love,” Y/N smiles and Yoongi felt his heart breaking.
“Well.. good for you then. I have to go. Ill see you?” He starts to stands up to leave but Y/N pulls his hand.
“Wait. Dont you want to know more?”
“Actually no,” Yoongi shakes his head and try to break free but Y/N tighten her grip and frown.
“No sit,” and Yoongi has no other choice but to follow. “I had a talk with Jungkook today,”
Yoongi kept quiet, wondering why he is putting himself through this hell.
“He told me he regrets everything he ever said, or did to me. He told me he wanted to try again. To be with me. To be with Jasmine. He said he finally realizes what he wants, that he loves me. And wants to spend the rest of our lives together. Its everything I wanted to hear Yoongi,” Y/N smile.
“Yeah? Congratulations. I am very happy for you,” Yoongi forced a smile.
“And do you know what I think about while he is saying all that?”
Yoongi shrugs.
“All I can think about is how I dont want any of that from him anymore. Instesd, all I can think about is all the days I spent with you. To spend my days with you. Laughing and having fun with Jasmine and you. The way you smile, the way you always here to listen to me, the way you care, the way you… love me…”
Yoongi feels his heart beats faster but his tounge is tied.
“And I realized… that I want to be all of that to you too. I want to be the face you remember, I want to take care of you, to listen to you, to make you smile, to make you laugh. Yoongi, do you know what I’m trying to say?”
“I-Im not sure? Maybe you can enlighten me?” Yoongi tries to keep a straight face but he cant keep his gummy smile from showing.
“Min Yoongi, I love you,” Y/N grins. “And I want to be your last love too. No, I’m gonna be your last love, and it starts now,”
/////
“I love you,” Jungkook smile and leans closer, to finally give her the kiss she has been waiting for so long.
Y/N stops him before his lips can touch hers and smile.
“Y/N? Whats wrong?”
“I dont love you anymore Jeon Jungkook. And I promised you that I’ll leave you alone remember? And unlike you, I always keeps my promises,”
83 notes · View notes
shijiujun · 6 years ago
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if tang yi discovered that shaofei kissed another person for a work mission what would he do?? Have you an headcanon?
heya!!! hi again if you’re the anon who sent me the two previous asks on what my headcanons are - i don’t get enough of those so THANK YOU and also like i’m blown away that any person who ask me about my headcanons HAHAHA i’m sorry it took so long btw I HAVE BEEN SWAMPED WITH WORK
okay, so let’s break it down: tang yi discovering that shaofei kissed another person for a work mission - i can totally see this happening AND it’s likely that when shao fei is first assigned the role (he’s the captain, and he HAS to take one for the team because okay, the mark is gay and unfortunately, zhao zi isn’t his type so shao fei has to volunteer himself after a process of elimination, but he’s super reluctant to do it because shit, if tang yi ever finds out about this- NO, tang yi CANNOT find out, over his dead body, but then good boyfriends communicate right? what if tang yi finds out and then gets angry at the fact that shao fei didnt tell him? okay, maybe he’ll tell tang yi AFTER the deed is done, at least by then it’s done and they don’t have to think about it anymore)
and so he gets it done, tries to avoid kissing the mark as much as possible but alas, his efforts were for naught and the mark totally sneaks a kiss in and shao fei freezes but he has to do his job!!!
after, when he gets home, after he’s showered and brushed his teeth a gazillion times, he’s very quiet and keeps sneaking glances at tang yi - tang yi who looks so perfect with his hair all fluffy and down at home, tang yi in those pajamas that shao fei loves, tang yi already seated in bed, reading a book quietly as he waits for shao fei to join him in bed. shao fei could barely look tang yi in the eye earlier, and lucky for shao fei, tang yi doesn’t seem to have noticed anything wrong with him yet, but he also knows that it’s only a matter of time before tang yi finds out (and come onnn zhao zi will probably tell jack anyway and then jack somehow, for some reason, will get this information back to tang yi even tho the man isn’t working for him anymore)
secrets between the both of them have never been a good thing - just look at the four years they spent disliking and fighting with each other on the tang guo dong and li zhen jie case. and after everything they’ve been through, they promised that there wouldn’t be any secrets between them. not the important ones.
and frankly, shao fei loves and respects tang yi too much to hide this from him.
so he makes his way slowly to bed, a towel slung around his neck as he idly dries his hair, and he sits on the bed, on his side of the bed. after a moment, shao fei turns around, bites at his lips and calls-
***
“Tang.”
Tang Yi looks up from his book, his eyes crinkling as he smiles, “How was work today?”
At that, Shao Fei is once again reminded of what he had to do for work. His face crumples almost immediately.
“What’s wrong?” Tang Yi asks, his brows furrowing as he sees the look on Shao Fei’s face. “Did something happen?”
And the story just comes tumbling out. Stammering and also shooting furtive looks at his boyfriend, Shao Fei explains how he had to kiss the mark today, and he tried to avoid it as much as he could, and oh my god please don’t be angry-
Shao Fei is fully prepared to face Tang Yi’s wrath. He’s seen the man’s anger enough times over the years to know that Tang Yi is going to be pissed. Pointing his own gun at him in the car a while back and also shoving him to the floor the other time with Hong Ye before Shao Fei realised that he loved Tang Yi, and even after, that time when he revealed that Chen Wen Hao was Tang Yi’s father. Even when Tang Yi was in prison, and after he got out and they started living together for real, they had their fair share of fights, just as any couple would. 
Shao Fei is prepared to spend the night in the guest room. He’ll think of how to grovel his way back into Tang Yi’s good graces tomorrow. Seriously, this wasn’t even entirely his fault, he didn’t want to kiss the mark either!
So deep he is in his thoughts that Shao Fei literally jolts when Tang Yi kisses him. He hadn’t even seen Tang Yi move so close to him, and he startles when he feels the familiar press of lips to his, because he really doesn’t expect the warm response. He was already picturing a cold, lonely and miserable night without his boyfriend wrapped around him in sleep. But he still melts into it, especially when Tang Yi presses even closer, a warm hand caressing at his cheek, at the side of his face, over his skin, and deepens the kiss.
When they finally pull apart, Shao Fei frowns, confused.
“You’re not angry? I kissed him. I really did. I mean, I tried not to and it was for my job, but I still kissed him.”
Tang Yi nods and raises an eyebrow, then hums, “So you said.”
“You’re really not angry?”
Shao Fei asks again in disbelief. Is Tang Yi lulling him into a false sense of security for some reason… What’s going on? And if Tang Yi really doesn’t mind, if he really isn’t angry then…
Shouldn’t Tang Yi be angry? As his boyfriend, seeing your boyfriend kissing some other person, it’s only normal to be all jealous and angry, is it not? What does this even mean? Why isn’t Tang Yi jealous? 
An unpleasant memory surfaces. A tall vixen in a see-through mesh shirt, locking lips with Tang Yi under the dim lights of a bar, a terrible melody played by the saxophone drifting through the air-
Seeing Shao Fei’s frown and pout, Tang Yi can more or less guess what’s going through Shao Fei’s head. He feels a rush of absolute fondness for this idiot sitting in front of him, and Tang Yi knows he must definitely love this man, because how would he be so willing to put up with this dumbass otherwise?
“Ah Fei. You said it yourself, you had to… seduce your target as a part of your job. Am I really this petty in your eyes?”
“You are,” Shao Fei snorts, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking away.
Tang Yi rolls his eyes, but continues anyway. “Did you want to kiss him?”
“No! Of course not!”
“You tried your best to avoid having to kiss him?”
“Yeah, definitely!”
“Are you dumping me for someone else?”
“What?!” Shao Fei exclaims, almost jumping to his feet if Tang Yi’s hand wasn’t wound so securely around his waist. “Of course not! How could you think- Of course I’m not dumping you for him! Who the hell is he?”
Tang Yi nods, and amusement shines in his eyes. “And you love me.”
“And I-” Shao Fei repeats, and when his mind finally processes what Tang Yi just said, his entire body just… slumps over, all the tension leaving him as he leans into Tang Yi’s hold properly. 
“And I do love you. The person I love is you. Only you,” he murmurs, the words both a declaration and a promise.
Tang Yi pulls Shao Fei closer, his chin resting on the top of Shao Fei’s head. He breathes out, enjoying the way Shao Fei fits just so naturally against him. It’s been more than three years since they got together, and every day Tang Yi thanks his lucky stars and Boss Tang who’s definitely watching over him, for sending Shao Fei to him.
(He thanks his mother too, and these days its easier to think about the woman who gave birth to him but never got to know him as his mother.)
“Are you an idiot?” Tang Yi huffs, almost in laughter. “This was what got you all tied up in knots all evening? Ah Fei, you’re lucky I love you.”
He doesn’t doubt Shao Fei’s love for him. He cannot. The man waited for him while he sat in jail for a year and a half. If Shao Fei was the type to cheat on him, he would’ve walked away while Tang Yi was rotting in prison, but Shao Fei stayed.
Shao Fei stayed for him, visited him every week without fail and lit up those dark days with his bright smiles that were only for Tang Yi. It was sometimes blinding, just how much Tang Yi could see the love for him, all in Shao Fei’s eyes. 
If given a choice, he would choose to drown in those eyes forever.
His voice muffled against Tang Yi’s shirt, Shao Fei says, “I really thought you would be so angry. I was already prepared to sleep in the guest room tonight!”
“Well, I’m not. Although…”
As he trails off, humming in consideration, Shao Fei pulls away with wide eyes and stares at Tang Yi. “You said you weren’t angry!”
The corners of Tang Yi’s mouth curve into a smirk, and he replies, “I’m not. But you did kiss someone who’s not me. You have to make it up to me.”
Narrowing his eyes in suspicion, Shao Fei asks, “How?”
Tang Yi taps at his own lips. “You have to give me ten times the number of kisses you gave him.”
“That’s all?”
“Mmhmm,” Tang Yi makes a noise of assent. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Shao Fei’s disbelieving look morphs into a bright, bright grin at that. 
There you are, Tang Yi thinks fondly.
“You said it yourself! No takebacks!”
Before Tang Yi can reply to that, he finds himself with an armful of Shao Fei again as the man tackles him. The force of the hug causes Tang Yi to fall back, Shao Fei ending up on top of him. 
Shao Fei gives him a peck on the lips once, then pulls back. Kisses him again for the second time. Then a third, and a fourth, and-
-and they lose count after that.
***
WOW OKAY so i finally got like a free hour to do stuff and was just gonna briefly take a shot at this ask and headcanon and then of course i kind of died and ran away with it and as everyone knows I’M LIKE THE SHITTIEST WRITER and that’s why i do gifs and shitposts but this ran away from me literally and i’m so sorry if any of you were forced to read through this. and i’ve literally never written a ficlet/fic before whatever THIS DOESN’T COUNT and yup no worries guys gonna get right on Trapped Novel Ch. 7 and other chapters huggles
TL:DR anon i hope this makes sense?!!! thank you for sending me a headcanon, and have a cute Chris/Jake and all my love
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prorevenge · 6 years ago
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Boy meets girl
I often pressed V for information on how she earned income but she would give conflicting answers about grants and scholarships until one day.... About 6 months after our first meeting, she finally tells me and IT. IS. NOT. GOOD. I was interviewing at a professional school when I receive the call, she's in trouble, BIG TROUBLE, and needs my help. She tells me she earns money by doing others' assignments for them. $200 to write a paper and $800 to complete an online class, usually a 100 level introductory course. She describes the method she uses to circumvent the ITs detection of others completing others assignment and how her client wasn't doing his part to copy/paste and submit from his own computer. He is failing the course and blames her. He threatens to turn her in. Her plan is to refund his money and wants me to 'follow him to see if he goes somewhere alone and take his phone' because that has all the evidence of their communications. HOLY SHIT! SHE WANTS ME TO COMMIT STRONG ARMED ROBBERY, a FELONY for her! I'm not going down for this or with her and I know nobody would believe me. ENTER: military experience - if there's no record, it didn't happen. So, I agree to help her, somehow, as soon as I return to town. I go to V's dorm the next night and she shows me EVERYTHING. Her list of clients, their blackboard passwords, how she meets them, how she defends them during honor code violations, etc. So I tell her not to worry, I'll handle everything on the day she refunds his money. Relieved, she goes to bed but before she lays down I ask to use her computer for on assignment and she says "sure do whatever you want". In my state, if you let someone use your electronics, its called "having privilege" and anything you do with their computer which may harm them is legal as if it your own computer. So, I took screenshots of her conversations with her clients, I open google settings and screenshot all the blackboard users and passwords stored on her computer. I go to her messenger and screenshot their conversations. Back home, I compiled our recordings and saved our facebook conversations. A week later, I made up an argument about an upcoming New Years Party and broke up with her. Then sat on the information I had on hand for 2 more weeks thinking about what I should do.
I remembered how she has a history of arrests from high school to freshman year for stealing from outlet malls and selling their loot online. Never formally charged. She, of course, omitted this from her application into professional school. How she admitted "finding a mark" and using them to pass her courses. How she denigrated others who were completing courses through hard work. How she used her position as honor council to get her friends out of trouble while helping to expel others for doing exactly what she was doing. How she cheated on me multiple times, used me, manipulated me, tried to make me commit a felony and ruin my life. SHE HAD TO BE STOPPED.
Knowing she was friends with the faculty on the honor council, they often bought each other gifts, I had to go above their heads. I gave names and descriptions of the events to my program director. He then goes to the honor council, anyway. I was called into the honor council's head office of "Corrupt Administrator" CA. CA tells me I should delete the information I have because it could become a civil matter and I should consider my "self preservation." She schedules another meeting with me a week later. I return and she asks if I want to make a statement about V. Guess what I said, I tell her "no, I deleted everything and I don't remember" because I was in the military and I know how to 'play ball' when superiors tell you to shut your mouth. But the most important reason I decided to not file against V directly was due to the fact I was applying for a military scholarship to pay for professional school. Since I did not follow through, the program director filed an honor code violation complaint against V on a date [suggested by CA]. A month later they tell me their investigation was inconclusive and they will close the case due to the director waiting 1 day too long to file according to the school's academic policy. CA set us up! However, since the director used my name as a source, they must notify V because students have rights to know their accusers. FUCK.MY.LIFE. CA fucked me and ruined any chance for a case against V based on a technicality. Now I fear for my safety because V tried to get me to strong arm rob someone now I just implicated a dozen cheaters who have as much as her to lose. CA schedules a meeting with V and tell her about an ongoing investigation and tells her she will be kept up-to-date. I know the investigation is over and now they are just doing formalities. V requests the information of the investigation and they promise to email it to her. V calls me for support even though we aren't together. She is crying and talking about killing herself. She tells me her dad had been paying for her college this whole time and starts coming clean with other lies. I feel bad and almost regret everything. Maybe she is not a sociopath, maybe she is really sorry. She stays at my house the next few days, I'm watching her trying to keep it together. THEN HER FUCKING CLIENTS START COMING TO MY HOUSE. She is still doing their assignments! She NEVER LEARNS!
Finally she gets the investigation info and there's my name. She calls me 130 times in 3 days, sends her friends to my classes to tell me to come to her house, finally I do. But I don't go into her room because she will trap me. She takes my phone so I can't record. She tries to get me to sign a paper saying I fabricated everything and its all false. I tell V, "They already closed the investigation, you wont get in any trouble why should I implicate myself and get in trouble? It wont solve anything!" And she pleads, "Do you still love me?" I shake my head and walk out. Two days later, police are waiting at my house to serve a 72 hour emergency protective order (EPO) commanding me to stay away from V. I know what she is up to. She is trying to get me to violate the protective order, discredit me, and send me to jail. Its very easy to lie to create one and lie to say it was violated.
NOW ITS NOT JUST REVENGE TIME, ITS WAR
Here's the plot twist: I never really deleted the files as I told CA. TYVM, Google drive.
After the 72 hours EPO expired, another EPO arrives which lasts two years but requires a court appearance. This is a huge problem because I am in the US Army reserves and it requires the handling of firearms which is illegal under an EPO. Her lawyer calls me and threatens me not to "participate in anymore investigations against her" and sends a paper tiger. I get a lawyer, lets name him "Folds like a lawn chair". He tells me "who will they believe: a pretty girl or you?" I fire him. Get a better lawyer, a trial lawyer, called "Miss Badass Esq." and prepare for war. Miss Badass requests a copy of V's EPO from the court. It essentially says I was blackmailing her, threatening to beat her up, and I broke into her room to steal incriminating information against her. All lies. I provide my lawyer the entire history of our relationship: 600 pages of facebook and text messages showing she is the aggressor, the abuser, in the relationship, phone call history, all the recordings and screenshots of her cheating ring. I make a poster sized chart of her room and the events that transpire there the day in question when she tried to trap me into signing a statement taking responsibility for her actions.
Courtdate: We made V and her lawyer look REALLY stupid. They were going with the 'pretty girl' strategy. But the dorm gave us records showing she was signing me in and out of her room, so it discredits the need to break in. The call logs: 130 times in 3 days and aggressive texts showed she wasn't actually afraid of me adn it was her, not me, being aggressive. And when he asked what I had to use to blackmail her, her lawyer said "just some tutoring papers" for which the judge said, "that doesn't sound like anything wrong. What power did that give him over you?" They had no response. My turn to speak, I explain how she tried to get me to rob a guy, how she wanted me to write a letter to take the blame, how she used her position as honor council chair to break state law and violate academic policy. And summarized we were only there because she wanted revenge on me. I watched V and her lawyer stutter and squirm uncomfortably under the judges questioning, case dismissed.
All that information I gathered to defend myself was not going to go to waste. I took it to a newly hired honor council investigator called "Meg" who had no affiliation with V. I told her what CA had done to defend V. A week later, I was told the by Meg there had been a meeting with the school police, the provost, their legal team, then the provost himself decided filed a complaint against V. I had to meet with the police to file a statement about V trying to recruit me to rob someone but other than that I was out of the loop. I later learned the results: V lost her her slot at that school's professional program, her program director yelled at her at the top of his lungs, "YOU WILL NEVER GO TO ********* SCHOOL, I KNOW ADMISSIONS AND I WILL SEE TO IT", she got expelled, her TWO degrees (biomedical engineering and biology with a minor in chemistry) were withheld for 6 years and her transcripts would carry a permanent mention of an honor code violation, her clients who graduated had their degrees retracted with similar mentions on their transcripts, and current clients were also expelled. The school changed its policy on reporting date requirements to like 60 or 90 days. Me? I am in professional school. V had her chance to get away with all of this until she tried to get revenge on me. I reduced this super villain from owning a fleet of beta male minions, being the most connected person in the university, and having a lucrative future in ripping people off in the medical industry to the last time I saw her: riding a fucking scooter.
(source) story by (/u/Apophis1942)
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pinkbutterfly84 · 5 years ago
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Scorpion Season 3
I have read several posts that Toby is really irritating in this season I have never seen it before but will be keeping an eye out. Interested to see how Happy explains herself and how Toby reacts....
3.01 - Toby dealing with it in a typical genius way practically looking for her husband
Poor Toby he looks so hurt when Happy walks through the door
For him to say he doesn't trust her must of really hurt Happy. I still dont get why she cant tell him what's going on he looks in so much pain. The only time I dont like Happys actions.
We heard Happy tell Toby she loves him for the first time, presume it has been said behind closed doors but nice to hear she does love him
Walter knows who Happy is married too! Has he kept it a secret all this time thats gonna really hurt Toby's feelings.
Toby is still on point with his behavioural skills
I know that they are dealing with a lot but Happy really needs to be more understanding of Toby and tolerant of his questions she must know what he is like and how he wont stop until he finds the truth
Toby telling Happy he is hurt and angry and she offers no source of comfort I think she finds it easy to switch from work Happy to home Happy and now she is completely focused on work
She says Toby has her heart and soul which is romantic but I'm sure that is not what Toby is feeling - Happy still has some work to do with herself but she has come so far and Toby really should remember that
Toby says he is resinding his proposal but Happy doesn't want that Toby us lashing out in anger Happy looks so hurt
Happy is retreating into her hard shell - maybe she is expecting Toby to break up with her or she feels guilty either way she is acting slightly like the beginning of season 1
Can I just point out Toby may of hit the bottle understandably but he didnt gamble even in his darkest moment his promise to Happy still means something and he didnt want to hurt or disappoint her
Favourite quote- 1. I am married 2. I didn't delete anything 3 I dont like t you 4. I'm in love with you
Favourite scene- it's not a favourite scene because it's so heart breaking but Happy and Toby talking for the first time
3.02 continuation from last episode
Happy still snapping at Toby it may be the next episode but still the after he found out
Toby maybe upset but he still worries for Happy when she is in the pipe with Paige
Favourite quote- you pretend you dont love Paige and I will pretend Happys not married to some yaho
You think the fish are farting away from the submarine
Favourite scene- the end scene Happy telling Toby they will be a family if two and eating there tea together there is hope
3.03 - not much quintis to evaluate...... Toby is meditating not sure how productive it is
The question is how much are Toby and Happy hanging out, outside of the garage. He may be avoiding hounding her about it but has he forgiven her enough to spend time with her
I like Walter and Toby's relationship they both respect each and what they do
It's quite noticable in this episode how far apart Happy and Tiby are usually they work together, stand together even after the failed date now contact is limited
Favourite quote- some world class behaviourist like me would say this will drive you crazy
Favourite scene- my favourite scene is not because of the story but its Toby in his denim shirt looking beautiful ❤🔥❤
3.05 - oh no Collins a short cameo I hope!
Toby must be desperate to ask Collins for help just shows the extremes he will go to, to find the answers. Surly Happy should have told him by now. It shows just how much Toby loves Happy to stay with her with this huge secret between them
The U Dog need I say more........
Still a lot of distance between quintis and Happy berating Toby for talking to Collins when she is the one keeping the secret
Side note- this is a really important episode showing the true struggles of Autism something which many families deal with and not enough attention is made of it is written and played perfectly by all the writers and cast. Well done 👏👏👏
Happy showing a glimpse into her childhood is heartbreaking and gives an insight to why she can be closed off
I cant imagine how hurt Toby must be when he finds out it is his best friend Walter who Happy is married too. Why did Walter keep it a secret he could of told Toby years ago, whenvtgey guest got together or now, makes you understand why Walter was so against the relationship
Happy drops a bombshells........ I'm pregnant
What I would of loved to see is Toby and Happy conversation straight after the bombshell what did Toby say???
I hope she wasnt to marry Toby because she loves him not just because she is pregnant
Favourite quote- frustraters riddle solvers incorporated, you riddle I fiddle
Favourite scene- Toby finding out Walter is the husband
3.06 - glad got to see the meaningless wedding proves it was just for a green card
Toby is showing signs of jealousy and is obviously keen for them to get a divorce
Happy is being very hostile towards Toby I can however imagine Toby is being very full on with pregnancy and is probably worried about being a mother due to her childhood
Walter is being slightly selfish he should be doing whatever he can to make it up to Toby
Toby is being an arse in this episode I think he still has hostility built up in him and cant air his frustrations with Happy as he is over worried about her so takes it out on everyone else
I switch from being annoyed with Toby to feeling sorry for him in this episode
Happy wearing Toby's clothes gives me all sorts of feels!
Happys face is very Happy when she hears Toby's voice over the comms
Happy and Walter having to live together...... and Toby wanting to be with Happy so stays on the floor. This shows Happys love for Toby as she is willing to do something which makes her so uncomfortable and Toby is there to support her. I like to think that she isnt used to bring vulnerable with anyone else so lezbs towards toby in the night holding his hand or moving to the floor as she isnt used to sharing a bed with anyone but him
Favourite quote- who was your caseworker mr magoo
Perhaps I should wax my chest incase the milk comes
Favourite scene- Paige giving Toby advice first time you get to see a friendship between these two
Happy has always been a strong independent women I think having someone sharing her burdens is taking her some getting used to I hope she can learn to share her burdens with Toby
3.07 - l love this episode mostly because Toby looks fine in the overalls and slightly tanned!
Poor Happy she looks so uncomfortable the things she does for love
Happy looking after Ralph is funny she gets an insight of what its like to raise a child
I always like to see Toby in his medical element its when his character really shines
Toby phoning Happy because he knows she needs his support he does his best anticipating her needs
Toby made a rocking chair for Happy so sweet man of many talents
Favourite quote- maybe you could save that costume for the homeymoon
Favourite scene- Happy and Toby talking on the rocking chair both admitting their fears to each other is good progress
3.07 - this episode is funny at the beginning and ends on one of the most emotional scenes I've ever watched
Poor Ralph trying to get a sensible answer from geniuses
This episode touches on a couple of important issues 1. The importance of voting and the implications of voter fraud 2. Pregnancy loss
Happy and Toby seem more of kilter this episode working and talking together and back to shared looks
Is this the first compliment Happy has given Toby
Toby negotiating with the Chinese is a great scene only Toby could do this!
I watch the Happy Toby scene several times- hearing Happys voice crack is heart breaking she had come to terms with the pregnancy and wanted a family so bad
Toby looks destroyed between Happy's pain and his own he tries to comfort her with words but in the end its the action of still wanting to marry her even without the baby which shows her she can lean on him at this difficult time
I would like to think after this they leave and spend some quality time together comforting each other
I love how Toby finally understands and loves Happy enough to give her space and not force physical contact on her because it's not how she deals with lsin even though it's the one thing he needs and I love how Happy eventually learns into to Toby for comfort and provides him with what he needs even though it doesn't come naturally
Favourite quote- I screamed into that crap pile for 20 minutes
Speaking of the fetus I can't wait to meet us when is your overdue pre natal check up
Favourite scene- the end scene with Happy and Toby so superbly acted by Eddie and Jadyn you can feel the emotion and end with Happy finally agreeing to marrying Toby
3.08 -
As Toby and Happy stayed back at the garage I would like to of seen a bit more conversation over the false pregnancy it seems to have been glossed over when in real life this can effect couples for longer then a day or 2
Love how Happy wants to get married straight away she feels the need to secure her family
Toby wants a big wedding
Happy shows real anxiety thinking Toby is having second thoughts but Toby just wants to show of his 'babe' of a wife
Another way Happy shows her love for Toby by agreeing to a big wedding the one thing that makes her really uncomfortable
Favourite quote- my baby's got a heart of gold
Whats the scoop kitten
You're a softie - be glad I am because that is why your getting a bug wedding - really- if that grumpy can smile at his wedding maybe this grump can too
Favourite scene- each quintis scene they may only be short scenes but they really show there love for each other in their own unique ways
3.09 - the next few episodes lack quintis scenes many rumours why this is I think Toby and Happy are dealing with a lot out of work so use work times a chance to get some space and thinking time
Although they are not in many scenes the ones they are in show they are comfortable in their relationship
Favourite quote- Walter if my Turkey is not cooked in time your goose will be
Sweetheart you have some explaining to do
Grandmas a jail bird
Favourite scene- Toby getting pelted by golf balls is always funny
3.10- not much quintis in this. I have come to the conclusion this means that are settled into a relationship and comfortable with each other they simple exist together
Toby agreeing that he knows what it's like not to be a great guy with no direction before meeting a special women. I think the playboy life was a bit much and Happy obviously disagreed to. I hope she liked hearing Toby admit how she had changed him for the better
Favourite quote- I smell a rat a ripe raw rat
Favourite scene- no favourite scene but a nice episode I like that Ralph teaches veronica a valuable lesson
3.11 love this Christmas episode send favorite next to the one in season 2
Toby's jumper is horrific
I love that Toby is trying to make perfect Quintis memories for Happy trying to erase the memories of the past
Happy must really love toby dressing up in order to get Toby's present plus she knows him well enough to know she couldn't make him something without him knowing
Toby and his costume fetish poor Happy the things she must have to wear to get Toby's motor running
Love Toby and Happy snuggled up together I think Happy is trying to keep Toby Happy
Toby showing his immature side by pointing out Tim was photo shopped out of the picture
Happy is like a sister to Sly I like their relationship
Toby looks so happy that Happy loves her gift if a little hurt by her lack of thanks but her gift more then makes up for it
I would like to think they have there own Quintus Christmas at home after
Favourite quote- ok you heard my lady let's home alone their arses
I'm a pissed off ex navy seal and even I'm scared of her
Favourite scene- Happy and Toby exchanging gifts
3.12 - fantastic episode the team working well together
Toby is amazing in this episode what a doctor!
Ahhh Happy loves having Cabe around he is like a surrogate dad
Now Happy is with Toby her jokes and sarcasm are flowing
Toby is always confident to tell Happy how he feels or how hot she looks no matter who is with them
Everyone has faith in Toby no jokes today
Quintis work so well together with Toby there Happy can overcome her fear of blood. Toby needs Happy and he knows how hard it is for her to deal with blood. There he is with his soft voice he uses just with her
I would of liked to have seen Happy tell Toby how amazing he did
Toby looks like he has had a rough day looked like he was going to throw up at one point, it must be very hard and emotional to work on your friend/father figure. I hope he manages to unload and Happy provides support to him when they get home
Favourite quote- winner winner fermented fish dinner
Isn't that the cutie who's hot for your bootie
Sly I'm wearing Cabe on me like a sock puppet sterile went along time ago
You kiss me with that mouth
Hey, I'm really proud of you
So many great funny quotes in a tense episode
Favourite scene- any scene where Toby is being a doc he really is amazing
3.13 - this episode shows the light hearted quintis its nice to see them back to normal
Walter and his conch is a recipe for disaster
The thought of them both up all night discussing wedding venues is too much I love to imagine at home Quintis
Happy is particularly touching in this episode hold Toby's hand and she is the one instigating looking at the winery as a wedding venue
Toby is pissed how funny 🍷🍷
Cute quintis kiss Happy pulling Toby towards her
They work completely in sync with each other
Walter using his 197 IQ to override everyone's opinions
Happy actually chooses a wedding venue then Toby admits he is in debt love he expects Happy to overreact yet..... she is also in debt doesn't blow up at Toby such growth
They are both just desperate to get married dont care where. Happy has really developed emotionally she is not afraid of bring with Toby now and is actively wanting her family
Favourite quote- my opponent is a dork I win
Why dont we roam around the grounds there could be a sweet spot to tie the knot
You drive I'm pickled
Favourite scene- quintis at the winery and quintis talking wedding venues
3.14 - I think ive said this for the last few episodes but I love how easy their relationship is at the moment gentle banter, loving looks and advice they are in a great place
Love that even before they were together they had their own secret projects likd the Waltercon something they had just between the 2 of them
Both Toby and Happy know and are open about Happy bring able to deal with Walter emotionally or not as the case may be
Favourite quote- you will be the first politician taken down by a never had sex tape
I dont have time to babysit that emotional stunted genius
Favourite scene- Happy and Toby showing paige the Waltercon
3 15 - perfect Toby episode funny Toby moments plus heartfelt Quintis moments
Toby fulfilling a childhood fantasy of being a pirate I think he had to he fo grown up as a child with his parents that he never got the chance to play smart being a pirate
Toby getting bored is funny shows how a genius mind needs to be kept active
Toby being the hero is very rarely seen, seeing him jump to rescue Toby is great to see even with a cheese knife in his mouth
Happy has grown and is now more comfortable in airing her concerns and fears with Toby.
She loves him so much that she fears that he will get bored with her Toby needs to reassure her how much she means to him everyone else knows his love for her but her past still makes her worry
Favourite quote- you are the treasure I've been searching for my whole life
Toby hold onto your frilly hat I see something coming into view
Favourite scene- Happy showing her fears that Toby will get bored with her
3.16 - this episode shows just because quintis arnt together doesn't mean they dont have each others backs.
The emotion Happy shows in this episode just goes to show the depth of Jadyns acting ability she really nails these scenes
Toby looks good in any type of hat 🧢
Toby knows Happy needs a bit of space before ge goes too her so her comforts Cabe before going to provide Happy with the comfort and support she needs
Favourite quote- that is not a coat hook it is a coat rook
Love bug we'll check in with you later, Paige it's time to carbo load
Look what I learned from my main squeeze
Favourite scene- Happy watching her dad go to prison such raw emotion
3.17 - so much about this episode I love one of the best quintis episodes so far
Happy is now so comfortable in her relationship that she openly displays affection by resting her feet on Toby may not seem like a big deal for for Happy this is huge
Toby makes a great surrogate uncle always providing Ralph with great advice even when it's hard to hear
Toby is so worried about Happy and feeling helpless as he cant be there with her
Another superb acting job by Jadyn the emotion she puts in is heart wrenching
Happys biggest fear is Toby rejecting her I love that Toby got to realise this and it proves how much she does love him and she admits she is perfect for Toby
God that speech from Toby melts me everytime his soft voice his love for Happy is probably my favourite scene of all seasons so far
Happy sees Toby in front of her he is her security and what age needs
Favourite quote- my biggest regret in life is that we didnt meet when we were 8 cause I would have fallen in love with you from that moment, the truth is you've never been alone my love for you has always been there it just took a while for our paths to cross so I could share it with you and underneath all those neuro toxins in your head you know I'm right. You have nothing to be scared of ever
Favourite scene- Toby talking Happy out of her hallucination
3.18 - now Happy has a family and lover she is branching he friendship circle even if it is online
Toby is very concerned when Hsppy goes off on her own
My question is who does Hsppy call Walter or Toby - I like to think its Toby hes always the one she turns too
Toby knows this is something Happy needs to manage so he supports her without taking control
l love how Happy calls on Toby everytime she is worried about Ava and how Toby calls Happy out for her lack of friends
Favourite quote- do you know how long it's been since I slept, I need my jammies
You must be Walter, Happy said you were a wackadoodle
Favourite scene- opening scene especially when Happy throws the wrench
3.20 - a great quintis episode which is funny yet shows their love for each other
Seeing them in therapy is a great step and the fact Happy initiated it shows how much Toby means to her and in Toby's eyes she can do no wrong
Watching Tobh attract the monkey always makes me giggle how Eddie Kaye Thomas did this without falling apart is beyond me. Always great acting whether funny or serious
Although Happy is perceived as slightly mean in this episode if you think of all the other episodes she is never this mean and he loves it anyway her sarcasm and his immaturity are part of what attracts them to each other
Toby in his denim shirt 🔥🔥
Favourite quote- she's my spicy Asian noodle
Wow nobody looks good in that hat
The hat and I are one
Whats Toby talking about - a pile of crap - doesn't he always
Favourite scene- Happy and Toby in therapy
3.21 - nice to see Happy involved in wedding prep even if its begrudgingly
Happy and Toby working in sync together show that he helps Happy with mechanical projects in the garage and in the field. Happy never would of allowed anyone to help her mechanical so she now must trust Toby
Happy struggles knowing his to deal with a girl friend like Paige she obviously hasn't had any before Paige giving her a valuable lesson in friendship
Poor Toby having to electrocut Happy even with her permission, knowing you are causing pain to the person you love cant be easy
He looks so concerned for Happy when he pulls them off the rope
Hsppy doesn't want to let Toby down I love how she looks at him with pure love
Favourite quote- get ready for Sly heartbreak in 3 2 1
Man they sound like they've been married for years
You cant get rid of me that easily Quinn
Favourite scene- Paige and Happy talking in the ambulance it truly shows Happys trud feelings and worries about the wedding but solidifies her feelings are strong for Toby
3.22 - I don do wonder how much they pay Eddie kaye thomas as he always has to do things that make him look stupid
Happy Quinn is at a spa a sight no one would ever have predicted
Oh Walter where is your romance
Even though Happy tells Toby and Walter to shut it over the Astriod / Meteor debate she continues to call it a meteor showing her alliance with Toby
Favourite quote - Walter weddings are about love and magic and hope.
Well I would love to hope they buck the trend, but the best approach is preparation and magic is nonsense.
Why does Superfun guy have a helicopter when he can fly?
Its for when he gets tired
Favourite scene- Quintis at the Spa - completely out of character yet they seem so at ease
3.23 - quintis on batchelor parties this I would love too see
Happy struggling to adjust to Toby moving in with her. You don't see Quintis disagreeing often to reassuring to see it does happen as with every norms couple
Happy worrying about Toby is always great to see as its usually the other way round
Happy doesn't deny having sexy dreams about Toby!
Happy and Toby are willing to do what they can to make there relationship work counselling, making room for each others things
Favourite quote- she's hotter then a street corner Rolex
I kissed paige on the rocket - you should of kissed her on the mouth
Maybe you had a sexy dream - gross - there's nothing gross about them there perfectly normally Happy has them about me all the time ' gross
Favourite scene- Happy giving Toby the framed picture all these scenes over this half of the season shows how much she loves him in her own unique way
3.24 - this episode ❤❤❤❤❤
When I first watched it I was confused as the episode went on why are they working on their wedding day but as I rewatched it I realised how completely Quintis the episode is a perfect nod to an amazingly unique relationship
Toby couldn't comprehend Happy looking at Ryan Gosling only the suit
Happy getting bolshy at Walter with the fear he will screw up her wedding day for all her hard shell exterior she wants the perfect wedding
Happy not keen on flowery wedding vows Toby knows this and Happy knows Toby is the one for words
They are both devested thecweddingvis seemingly cancelled
Best thing Paige has done in all the episodes impromptu wedding!
Both Toby and Happy stay true to themselves Happy in a simple dress understated hair and make up and black boots! Toby in his American Pie tux and converse trainers
Tobya face when Happy walks down the alse stunned, in love, in awe that one look says it all every girl dreams of finding someone to look at them the way Toby looks at Happy
At crunch time all Toby can say is I love you he is actually speechless
Happys vows are beautiful honest and very Happy they blow Toby away
Does anyone else notice its Happy who is leading the way very quick to say I Do and goes to kiss Toby as soon as they are pronounced husband and wife
I love Eddie kaye thomas dance moves
The only thing I dont like about this episode is the writers chose this episode to put Paige and Walter together
Happy has secrets..........
Favourite quote- happy saw Ryan duckling wearing a tux like that in a movie poster
Its Gosling and she lingered, she likes the threads
You ever think she lingered on Gosling
No
Favourite scene- wedding vows don't need to say anymore
3.25 / 3 26- highly tense episode love seeing Quintis transition to husband and wife
2nd time we actually hear the words I Love You from Happy
Loving Toby's medical abilities in this episode
Happy has more secrets not as big as being married to Walter but she needs to start opening up to Toby
Poor Toby learning lots of new facts about the love if his life
Working together as a great team as always Toby has obviously been watching Happy work as he is getting better at engineering work. Happy thinking like a doc as well
Its nice to see Toby can be annoyed with Happy its usually the other way round
Love Happy speech she doesnt show her love often but when she does its honest and real. Her marriage to Toby means a lot to her and she realises that her past has lead her to her future
Favourite quote- please remain in your seats until the captain turns off the crap your pants sign
Who's Jake Gylinhall is he related to that Gilligan fellow
Oh so my physic needs some fine tuning, it's not Gylinhall enough for you
Sorry about that we were just looking to grab a couple of coconuts - me too
Favourite scene- Happy telling Toby outfit all the things she's been or will ever be, being his wife is her favourite
Happy and Toby having some private time and Ralph and Cabe catching them
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cheersrogrs · 6 years ago
Text
ENDGAME SPOILERS
i don't normally do this but i just had to get this off my chest. this is for  everyone that that is hating on endgame and specifically Cap’s ending. full disclaimer: i am not a comic reader (more of a wiki reader tbh) but i am a devoted Cap fan (esp MCU’S cap) and i have been for a very long time; i am also a hardcore bucky barnes fan, and a stucky fan. 
first off lets establish the technical aspect of the time travel - to me, OG Cap went back, successfully returning all the infinity stones to their original places. this corrects all the “divergent timelines”. however, when he chose to stay with peggy, OG CAP = OLD CAP and cap who is still frozen in the 1970s remains frozen until 2012, who then goes to do all the heroic stuff that he did. OG/OLD Cap then returns back to the main MCU timeline where his gives Sam the shield. 
i repeat, I as a steve, bucky and a stucky fan, am so pleased with his ending. because 1) he chose this for himself, 2) he just wanted to see what he would have had if he did not throw his life away for his country, 3) just because of that look on his face, dancing with peggy, sold this send off to me. 
it may not have happened on screen, but i am positive that steve and bucky discussed about this. evidence was that bucky was telling him that he would miss him eventho, to the rest, steve was supposed to be gone for just 5 seconds. and he wasn't even shock when steve wasn't on the platform. 
and bucky; who LOVES steve, do you think that bucky would honestly deny steve that one chance of happiness that he craved for all his life? 
NO. because he knows how much steve has given up. he knows how isolated and alone steve feels. he knows the biggest regret steve has (that he can amend) is to go back to the past and have that dance with peggy. yes i know that he created a new family for himself here (but him going back doesn't not erase this. he doesn’t mysteriously loses his memories and he also doesn't mysteriously disappears from everyone else’s memory so he gets the best of both worlds) and i am sure bucky would be so selfless to say “no, dont save me”. because he, at this current point of time, is already saved. its in the past. technically steve can’t change present bucky’s condition BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED. if he did change things with hydra and saved bucky, that would have created another timeline. our OG bucky doesn’t get a do-over. but he has a chance now to start a new life, with his new friends (sam, wanda, the rest of the avengers). he is finally stable. 
what is he going to do, if he went back with steve? in a MCU point of view: basically nothing?? because again, if he went back to stop hydra -  that would only stop the torture of THAT bucky, not OUR bucky. in a stucky point of view: watch the man he loves, love someone else??
steve and bucky dépend on each other. they are each other’s life line and family. yes. but i don’t want to see them be co-dependent. i see “till the end of the line” as not to be a promise of till death do us apart; it means that i will be there for you whenever you need me to be. steve saved bucky; steve WAS there for bucky when he needed him to be. Bucky gave steve love when no one else loved him, gave him support, gave him the motivation to fight for what was right. to anyone that says that steve broke this promise, please rethink this. bucky would have wanted steve to be happy and for that to happen, steve needed to at least try. bucky, considering the state that he was in BP, IW, EG, seemed to be recovering. let him recover on his own terms. let him be strong again as BUCKY BARNES. Let him create a new life for himself; one that he chose for himself. not the life his country gave him, not the life that his torturers gave him, and not the life that he needed to have so as to not worry steve. they both needed to move on by themselves. 
and the other thing was “peggy’s whole life was erased” IF my time travel theory was true, then that would not have been the case. but if we take away all the complications with the time travel, why would steve going back destroy peggy’s character development? im sure if peggy was as strong as we all know she is, she wouldn't let a man stop her from doing what she loves. she would still be a strong woman. she would still be a founder of shield. the fact that some of you think she would stop her life for steve is completely ironic. she didnt become a founder of shield and the badass woman she was just cause she lost steve. she did it because she could, with or without steve. she has done it without steve once, and now she gets to do it with steve by her side. 
and i see arguments that oh steve only knew peggy for months, what was so significant about their relationship that he threw his whole life away or abandoned all his friends?. it wasn't that she was the love of his life. but she was the definition of the “what ifs” in his life. the man just wanted to try. he already lead his life as skinny, defenseless steve, he has already lead a long and tiring life of cap - the first avenger or the fugitive. now he just wants to see if steve rogers - husband, father, human was possible. and i can guarantee that if peggy or steve did not feel the same away as they did during the war, neither one would have forced the relationship. but they did. DID YOU NOT SEE THEIR FACES DURING THEIR DANCE???? AND THAT KISS? THAT WAS PURE LOVE. 
if you knew and understood (MCU) bucky, you would know that bucky would have been so proud of steve. And i am so proud of him. 
if steve have stayed, yes we would all get more bucky-steve moments, they would be together (almost) forever, but steve would never have stayed down if he did, and guess what, bucky would have followed him. and i personally think that is the last thing that bucky wants. 
i personally believed that bucky was his soulmate in life. but that doesn't mean that steve loved bucky the way we want him to (at least in the mcu). to have someone that you call home, does not necessarily mean that that person is the one that you want to love romantically, marry and spend your whole lives together. but peggy. peggy is steve’s light. peggy is his heart. again, this does not cancel his love for bucky. it’s just different. a lot of people say that the reason why steve is the way he is today (his decisions, his plots in the movies) is because of bucky. i 100% agree but i think a lot of people forget that peggy was also an important person in his life. in CA: TFA, it was bucky that made him step up as cap america, but peggy was also there cheering him on and never losing faith in him. she was also the 2nd person (that we know of) to see steve as he really is even when he was little steve. in CA: CW: it was peggy’s words (through sharon’s speech) that made him take his stand. so to say that bucky was the only sole driver of steve’s actions would be completely false. they both loved him so much. 
also, on anyone shitting on steve’s decision on falcon-cap. screw you. yes, falcon isn't a super soldier, doesn't have extra powers and super strength, but he is a good man. he is kind, he is helpful and he is loyal. and that is what makes captain america, captain america. funny how some of you have the quote “not a perfect soldier, but a good man” tattooed across your hearts and brains but somehow it doesn't apply when bucky isn't the one carrying the mantle. and bucky would have hated carrying the shield. fight me. 
bucky looked so happy knowing that steve lived his life. now he has the chance of living his own life, without worrying about steve. shouldn't that make you happy, as a fan? 
so, no i dont think the ending that we got, erased all of steve’s character development. this was all heart, pure cap. he knows that all is good in his world. he knows that the people he loves are okay and will be okay. he is no longer needed. it was time for him to pass the torch to someone else. it is now his time to rest.  
I’m sorry if i dont make sense, this is all over the place. i dont write my feelings out very well. i am sure that i have a millions more things to say but alas. 
when all is said and done, thank you chris evans for being the best cap that i could ask for. 
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solarsystem69 · 5 years ago
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Hi 😊 for the system asks how about 🤫: Any Funny System Stories? 🥰: Any Wholesome System Stories? 🎨: Any Hobbies That Everyone In The System Enjoys? - c (The Union)
(Some of this is text convos i’ve had with ex-best mates and some is nsfw cuz funny stories for us generally are rude in nature lol nothing too explicit just weird flirting really) 
we used to make lissie and max dance together and lissie is like "hes an arse but i like to dance so okay" and max is like "fuck off" he dances with her anyway. so like yeah. then we are listening to music and we're like "Dance with lissie" and hes like "no" and so lissie is like "just go back to your lonely tower then, you downer" and hes like "Fine, i will. I will go.. all alone... to my bedroom" like thats hmmm. so once hes gone, lilly is like "Thats an open invitation to you to come to his room to bone" and lissie is like "lol no... wait... is it??" and doll face is like "oh definitely  " and so we send lissie off to find out whether it was in invitation to bone or not. and in our front room we have screens. a main one for the outerworld and some other ones for different rooms in the inner world castle. and so i tap the screen cuz its a little sketchy to use. but anyway, lissie had been upstairs for a while so were worried he killed her  but we see what went on. Lissie went to his room and knocked on the door and he answers. and hes like "I thought you told me to go away." and shes like "Yeah but i didnt think you would and then lilly said you gave me an invitation to join you and bone so.. i just..." and hes like "You came to take me up on my offer to bone?" smirk and shes like "Ugh no. you're an arse and youre rude and obnoxious" and hes like "Oh please go on, im very flattered rn" and shes like "it wasnt a compliment. ugh i hate you." and he like " actually you dont. you like me " and shes like "what no ew" and hes like "You do. i can see it and i understand why. They are all the same downstairs and im not like them" and shes like "Woah, dont you dare say they. they are all individuals" and hes like "Yes. but theyve all got strong morals and good hearts. and youre bored. so you like me" and shes like "ill kick your ass okay. those things are good things to have. youre a jerk" and by now shes like gradually moved closer to be 'intimidating'? and hes like "oh really?" smirkyness and shes like "Yea. youre just so mean and arrogant and you are such a bad person, you need to be--" and hes like "Say it, baby. i dare you." and shes like "..Punished.." and then bam hes practically throwing her on the bed and like ......... so thats when i turned that screen off. so like hilarious in hindsight but at the time. shooketh.
Doll face and lilly integrated (merged into 1 chick) which makes sense because doll face is too emotionally stable but impulsive and lilly is too emotionally unstable but logical. they didnt choose it and it is fairly easy now. or easier. doll face (loved them so much but ) was wayyy too impulsive. always making decisions for the worse but were fun which would have been fine if they actually cared but they didnt. thats okay. they were young. and lilly was lonely and needed to care a little less about her past. and idk. but its deffo for the better. yeah they were family basically anyway so i think shes really happy about it tho sometimes they do look in a mirror like "Wow. now ive got no dick and some small tits". i mean lmao. she really does focus on the small boobs thing. and we're like "they are average 🙂 " and shes like "No. easy for u to say tit-anosaurus rex"
Also, Nate almost called one of our ex-best mates mum’s a milf. 
(ugh going through old messages to mates to see if i can find more funny stories ad accidentally came across trauma ewwww miss me with that shit)
Wholesome... hmmm. we have plenty of sorta funny, interesting stories. Oh actually yes. I know. Okay, so i sorta just am always stalking around the inner world so i see almost everything. But this starts in our front room (like our fronting room but our living room, its genius ik)  we were listening to music (or Nate was) and Fox decided to come dance in the fronting room to the bops and me and Lilly saw them dancing very saucily together 😏 ya know. So we laughed and left. So we're listening to music on the way home and Lilly, Fox and Nate are in the room. And its all chill and then Nate starts flirting with Fox and Fox is all blushing and looking down like "Idk what to do rn" and Lilly and I are laughing and then Fox slightly reciprocated (as a joke probably...) And now Nate jas him basically pinned against a wall. Not physically just like with his intense eye contact. 😂 its hilarious. Lilly is threatening to go get Lissie because she was like "You two dicks aren't going near each other." And Nates like "What gives you the right to declare where my cock goes?" 😂 like wow. And Lilly was like "Oh I'm just going to go get Lissie then" and Nate was like "No no. Don't do that." Cuz Lissie really has the right 😂😂. Nate asked Fox to kiss him and Fox said "No..." 😂 savage but then you make my balls so blue from heathers came on and I'm dead. Fox: Sorry. Its not you. I just can't.. Nate: Okay. You don't have to. Lilly and me: *Sad eye contact cuz we know why Fox doesn't want to kiss anyone* Fox: *Kisses Nate on the cheek* Nate: *Blushes adorably- breaking his bad ass persona* Nate: you know not all sexual stuff involves kissing. Uh. If you don't want it to. Fox: *giggles quietly like a lil twink* I don't want any sex though. As pretty as you are, I just don't want that. Nate: *is absolutely crushed* Yeah. Okay. But I need some cock so imma head out and try to gain some pride. Lilly: I've not built the village in this innerworld yet so.. Idk where you're heading out to. Nate: *sighs so deeply* I'll be in my room then. Stay out. Fox: Sorry. I didn't mean to egg him on at first only to deny him. I just thought it would be fun and then I thought even if it did lead to sex then it wouldn't matter because I don't mind and then I remembered that I did mind and I don't want that. Lilly: *hugs Fox* that's alright. He'll get over it. He's tried it on with all of us atleast once and we're all women. I would've saved Fox from Nate only He didn't look like he wanted to be saved. at this point in time, our innerworld was still being built by lilly so we all were sleeping in one room, with the littles. and i witnessed the sweetest thing. So I was doing the final checks to make sure everyone was in bed and since Nate doesn't want to sleep with the Littles anymore (they can be slightly irritating) I had to go find his room. He's in a tower room. Its not got a bed and it's freezing but hey no loud children. And as I'm about to turn the corner I see Fox knocking on his door after clearly being there for a while debating whether or not to because Nate told us to stay out. Quickly Nate opens the door and immediately as he sees fox, puts his hand on Fox's arm gently (how sweet. Hes not usually gentle) and Fox is all: I'm sorry. I just couldn't kiss you. Just recently with the bad things and the kissing involved in the bad thing. And Nates all: its okay. I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm so sorry. I understand. And he's hugging him. Like and kissing his head and hes like "Is that alright?" And fox is like "Yeah. Its nice." And squeezes the hug tighter. So sweet honestly. And then Nates like "I know I'm really sexual and that makes you uncomfortable a lot but you know I would never want you to do anything you didn't want to." And fox is all like "I'm just so scared that I'm never going to be able to kiss anyone ever again because I can't get over that time and I really want to forget it." And Nates hugging him really tight and cuz he's taller, he can rest his chin on Fox's head. And im still watching cuz I'm weird and entranced by these confessions. And then Nates like "Do you want to come in?" And Fox is like "No Littles tonight?" And Nates smiling nicely and is like "No I get nightmares and I don't wanna wake them up. And theyre annoying as heck." And fox is like "I know what you mean. Yeah I'll come in." And Nate leads Fox in by his hips gently. *fox and lissie talking bout feelings* Lissie: what's wrong, my sweet? Who hurt you? Fox: *Wiping tears away* no one really. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying. Lissie: Its okay to be sad sometimes. Fox: I'm not sad. I'm nothing. Just numbness. Lissie: that's worse than being sad. Tell me, sweetie. What happened. Fox: I asked Nate to be my boyfriend. I mean, I was kissing him and I didn't get any flashbacks even when I was overthinking and remembering. Nothing and it was so relieving. And I asked him. And he said he had to go for a walk. Lissie: Oh darling. It'll be okay. He loves you. Fox: Does he now? sigh I just love him so much. I love him more than you approve of. I love him so much I don't know what to do. But in not what he needs. He wants physical love and even so, he cant handle commitment. And I know that you don't want us together so you'll get your wish but I need him. Ive never been so relaxed and happy. Lissie: That's true. I've never seen you so happy as recently. I'm glad Nate could bring that to you but I don't approve, no. But if you're going to be together, I will support it. I will encourage happiness, that's a promise I can keep. I'm not disapproving to make it impossible for you to be together, in only disapproving so you have to prove to me that you two can make it. If you two make each other happy, I will be there for you no matter what. Fox: Thank you..... They spoke more but I didn't listen. After strictly avoiding Nate for three days, Fox finally has the courage to face up to him. As the group exit the cozy dining room, Fox weakly holds on to Nate's elbow. Obeying, Nate stares at the ground, clenching his jaw. "I'll start, I suppose." Fox forces out, false confidence strengthening the statement. "I-I'm really sorry that I asked you out. Of course, you wouldn't say yes. That's fine. Completely fine. And I'm really sorry that I made you uncomfortable with me. I really do like you though. Like love really. And even though you don't feel the same... I can't just be your friend. We can keep trying but it will just make us both miserable. We're just lucky the others are giving us time to figure it out instead of just getting rid of us for being dramatic." Fox rants,  getting out of breath and manic toward the end. "I have never heard you say so many words. Are you okay?" Nate smiles charmingly, concerned. "No." Fox answers honestly, a tremble in his voice. Suddenly, Fox is embraced by warm, strong arms. Wriggling further into Nate's warmth, Fox breathes in the boyish scent of Nate. All sharp and smooth. The arms tighten around Fox's shoulders. "I love you too. You know this. I'm sorry that I've been... Not great recently. I just thought we could both use some space. The village... It's the next thing to be built. But I-I don't just want it there for sex. I wouldn't do that to you. I just like the people they're interesting and good friends. You're the one I want. They're nothing compared to the beautiful complexities of you. I hope you'll accept my request to be your boyfriend." Nate excruciatingly slowly spills his soul, hands rubbing the back of Fox's neck how he likes it. Fox freezes, slowly pulling away after a few moments. "You... I'm sorry, what?" Fox whispers, teary eyed. "Please let me be your boyfriend. I'll beg on my knees, I swear. I'm so sorry. I've never been so lonely as I've been without you. Please come back to me." Nate practically sobs, hands reaching up to cover his face. "You actually want to be my boyfriend? What? No... That can't be right... Right? What?" Fox, ever the articulate bean, mutters, completely confused and shocked. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend. I won't have sex with anyone and I won't hug or touch anyone else I swear. I miss you so much. I hate everyone else so much. I need you." Nate falls to his knees, taking Fox's hand in his and pressed his lips to the soft skin as he rambles, tears falling down his face. "You absolute idiot. You moron. You complete fool." Fox sighs, rambling random tiny insults, before falling to his knees and taking Nate's face in his hands. "I'm so totally in love with you." Fox mumbles, pressing his forehead to Nate's. a couple weeks later: they sang a love song together. 😩 I literally cried. Nate on his guitar and Fox singing. Ive never seen him so relaxed and happy. Ahhh. I wanna cry I'm so excited. 😂😂😂 these boys will be the death of me. theyre both the biggest drama queens and they so gay.
im so sorry that was so long but their relationship created so much drama between us bc we didnt know if it would work out and theyre the most wholesome boys, except nate but well he has his moments. softest boiis uwu. 
Everyone in the system likes to sing and play games and read. Fox mainly likes to write and stuff but Evan is also knows for her nice stories on wattpad lmao. We arent very active, so we dont do much sport but we do like badminton and we used to do a running club. Evan likes baking, where it stressed me tf out. i cant even crack an egg right. only Evan draws really. Our main hobbies are minecraft, eating unhealthy foods and sleeping :) 
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