#i am so so glad im alive. i’m so glad.

[drivemysoul]

Hey, I'm on the break but I do remember that you went to MCR concert. So so happy to see your reaction and experience, that must be a life changing one.

THANK YOU AGAIN ENDLESSLY FOR BEING THE REASON I EVEN GOT TICKETS BECAUSE LAST NIGHT GENUINELY CHANGED MY LIFE AND I AM SO SO INDESCRIBABLY HAPPY

[rottenlittlefink]

I had an “I’m A Church!” moment this year on the brink of literal actual irl death /srs

[maxlarens]

CL: guess the heat drives people crazy

pairing(s): charles leclerc x artist!reader

summary: you’re not used to having a boyfriend, let alone having a famous one. though you’d like to think you’re taking your new found status as a wag in your stride. charles certainly thinks so. [smau] [part 2 to this fic]

fc: faceless and some alexandra saint mleux

a/n: sorry this took so long! i was honestly kinda unsure how i wanted to do this. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to do a little storyline but i basically ended up just doing a bunch of little snapshots of their relationship 😇

@ynusername just posted…

liked by @rowan, @charlesleclerc and others

ynusername wildflowers, the waves where we met, on the way to our first dinner

chloegarelli i did that!☝🏻☝🏻

⤷ ynusername okay 😐 dont get too big for ur britches

user1 is that……..?

⤷ user2 CHARLES RIGHT?

⤷ user1 yes wtf!?

⤷ user3 you are delusional you can only see his hands

⤷ user2 AND?? he is in her likes

rowan we did it joe‼️

⤷ chloegarelli four years in the making iktr

⤷ chloegarelli i’d like to thank the american people and i’d like to thank democracy for this win

⤷ ynusername we are MONEGASQUE?

⤷ ynusername anyway u guys are the most insane couple i have ever met

⤷ rowan and you’re stuck with us foreverrrr

user4 no one is talking about how adorable this is. the waves where we met like UR KIDDING!

⤷ user5 if she is actually dating charles then he is literally the luckiest man alive

@f1wagupdates just posted…

tagged @ynusername @charlesleclerc

liked by @chloegarelli, @ynusername and others

f1wagupdates ‼️🚨 new wag alert 🚨‼️ monegasque painter yn yln has been spotted getting cozy with charles on his yacht. it’s believed they met while on holiday in italy several months ago🥺

user1 fell to my knees in the grocery store

⤷ user1 THAT SHOULD BE ME

⤷ user1 but if it had to be anyone else im glad its her

user2 oh i KNEW that was him on her instagram three months ago. vindication.

user3 stop she is so pretty

⤷ user4 like attracts like

rowan cats out of the bag @chloegarelli

⤷ chloegarelli WE DID THIS EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU

⤷ user5 thank you oh my god

⤷ user6 THANK YOU

⤷ charlesleclerc thank you😁

[❤️ by f1wagupdates]

user7 need to see them together at a race

⤷ user8 CHARLES GET HER ON THE PADDOCK

⤷ charlesleclerc 🫡

ynusername oh my god. not the picture of him pushing me into the water😐

⤷ user9 OH i love her ur honour

⤷ f1wagupdates I’M SORRY!

⤷ rowan don’t apologise its so perfect

⤷ charlesleclerc Stop I tripped!!!!!!!!! I told you!!!!!

⤷ ynusername u did NOT trip!!!!

⤷ user10 they are my everything wtf

@ynusername just posted…

tagged @charlesleclerc

liked by @charlesleclerc @f1 @scuderiaferrari and others

ynusername charles, the week we met we talked about what the monaco gp meant to you. the place your dreams took root, the one race you wanted so badly it hurt, the city you wanted to love you back. i could feel your yearning for that win as deeply as i feel for my own ambitions. i knew then that we understood each other like i have never understood anyone else in my life. and i knew, somehow i knew, that you would be on the top step of that podium. charles, i am endlessly proud of you and all the hard work you did to get here. you deserve this. i love you. and monaco loves you.

user1 charles monaco gp win you are everything to me

user2 they’re in love in love!!! WTFFFF

scuderiaferrari ❤️

user3 god let me have what they have i cant handle this

chloegarelli im tearing up yall are like my babies

user4 HE DID IT!!!!

charlesleclerc oh I love you I love you I love you

⤷ charlesleclerc How would I have done this without you?

⤷ ynusername I am so proud of you baby. I love you ❤️

⤷ user5 this interaction changed lives

⤷ user6 how do i reasonably find love after this. how am i supposed to be satisfied with anything less???

🎨 i just KNOW her caption would make the rounds on tumblr

[getting-messi]

IM BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER LOVELIES!!!!!💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 🔥🔥🔥🔥🙏🏾

[theosmanuscript]

tequila & empty cups

theodore nott x reader

warning: not proof read and its 2 am im dead tired

word count: 800+

synopsis: at an afterparty celebrating slytherin’s big win against gryffindor with bf!theo

author's note: sorry for the lack of content! i’ve been terribly lazy tehe!

Typically, the dungeons of Hogwarts are dark, cold and gloomy. First and second years were always huddled up in a corner, scrambling to complete their overdue assignments. This time, none of them were in sight. The highly anticipated Quidditch match resulted in Slytherin’s favour and like every other win, another raging party was put on. 

Green strobe lights lit up the common room and the air was filled with the scent of intoxication. Pansy and Lorenzo were on the floor, amidst the sea of people, dancing to the rhythm.

The loud music blasted out of the speakers made your heart thump with excitement. Mattheo and Blaise were on top of a table which surprisingly supported the weight of two beefy beaters. The former shouting the lyrics to Weasley Is Our King at the top of lungs along with the rest of the crowd whereas Blaise was taking swig after swig of the Firewhiskey which was graciously provided by an anonymous seventh year. On the other hand, Theodore was seated on the leather chair and you, comfortable on his lap.

“Weasley cannot save a thing! He cannot block a single ring!” Mattheo sang, throwing both his hands into the air. 

You watched with amusement while taking a sip of the strange concoction of punch and tequila out of the plastic cup. Contrary to popular belief, Slytherins knew how to appreciate Muggles’ masterpiece of hard liquor. Theo’s hand stroked your thigh that was draped over him. 

“He’s making a fool out of himself,” Theo whispered into your ear. His breath was hot against your neck and your skin started to tingle. Your heart pounded against your ribs as you looked into his eyes

“C’mon, he’s just having fun,” you replied, holding in a laugh as the table wobbled and Mattheo stumbled. “Couldn’t hurt to loosen up too, Mister Nonchalant.”

Theo snorted and sighed, “I think I need a refill, if you want me to loosen up.”

“I can do it. I need someone to top me up too.” You swung you legs off his lap and stood up, straightening your skirt that rode up. Theo probably had a good view of your ass but you didn’t care.

You took his now empty cup and walked towards the bottles, opening them, careful not to waste a drop of liquor. After all, it was difficult to acquire and sneak the bottles into the castle. 

“Great turn out, right?” 

You jumped at the sound of the voice. Turning around to face Adrian Pucey. He looked far to merry to be sober. You doubted he could walk in a straight line. 

“Yeah, I mean it was the last game before the end of the year,” you said nervously, “I think someone would have to be a bloody prat to miss it.” 

Adrian laughed as he took a step towards you. He was definitely not sober at all to disregard how uncomfortable you looked. 

“Well, I’m glad I made it. Wouldn’t want to miss seeing you here,”

You took another step back, as he reached out to grab your arm and a lump formed in your throat. 

“I have to get back to –” 

“C’mon, baby. You know you want this,” Adrian insisted. He tugged on your arm as you tried to wriggle out of his grip.

 “Pucey, let go of me,” you shrieked. As if you wanted anything to do with this slimy, lame excuse of a man.

“C’mon, we will have so much fu–” 

“She said let go of her,” a familiar, husky voice snapped from behind you. You turned to see Theo standing there, arms crossed and he looked pissed.  

Adrian’s face paled, immediately letting go of your arm. Your arm was painted white. How tightly did the wanker have to grip you? Adrian left as quickly as he came, pushing through the crowd, escaping from your volatile boyfriend.

Theo’s face was dark and if looks could kill, Adrian would have been burnt alive by Theo’s scowl. 

“Are you alright, cara mia?” Theo asked, worry written on his face.

You looked up and sighed, “Pucey was just being a prick. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Theo’s finger went up to your face, stroking your cheeks gently. “I love you.” he professed. He glanced at your lips and held your waist, pulling you closer to him. His lips met yours and your eyes fluttered close. You brought your arms up and placed them over his neck, deepening the kiss. Theo squeezed your waist and you let out a gasp, taking the moment to slip his tongue in, dancing with yours. 

Your eyes opened as you pulled away to take in some air. Looking into his eyes as you responded, “I love you too.” 

© 2024 theosmanuscript. All rights reserved.

[youhaveraybies]

Heaven Knows I’m miserable now🍂

…

@sarcastic-cookie @herondale-lightworm @anunstablefangirl @kitsbaby123

More jeremy !!!!!!!!!!!!

I’d been hours , four long hours…it was dark outside and you were ready for bed ; settled so nicely in your bed , reading and trying…failing…to distract yourself from your ghost boyfriend who’d well…disappeared from the face of the earth. Maybe he’d moved on…? moved onto the next thing…made at peace or something…you’d hoped he hadn’t , you missed him. Rethinking everything, the way his lips felt so perfect against yours . You tried to read a book, only stopping on the same sentence two hundred and three times , Heaven knows I’m miserable now by the Smiths echoing through the dull room .

You were bored…sad and somewhat completely still confused by everything. You heard your bedroom door slowly open before a very breathless and..soaking wet Jeremy appeared.

“there she is..!”Jeremy pants out , “oh i’m so glad you’re here cause i’ve just had to fight the weirdest…” He stops , shaking himself as he laughs out , “i’m human like i’m actually breathing and stuff and i bruise and..oh my god i can actually leave this place ..”

You stare at him, leaving your bed to hug him, “missed you.”

“oh? yeah? i…uh…yeah…i missed you too but listen, baby…i just had to fight the weirdest guy over in..the underworld thing..? like he was not letting me leave but..uh i mean he did let me but-“ You cut him off , lips meeting with his as he freezes, pushing off for a moment.

“you’re warm..”

“yeah i’m alive again so i’m-…you kissed me.”

“yeah..? i missed you.”

“so are we like officially together now..since like…im human and not dead and like totally able to go on dates with you.”

You roll your eyes , pushing his head back to yours as you lead him onto the bed , his hands gripping your thighs as he leans over you, tongues dancing and lips hungrily smashing together. Your hands in his hair , he hums out occasionally; clearly dazed by everything and now the fact he was human and able to kiss his little human girlfriend without a care or a problem….well besides the problem brewing between his hips..

He lifts you a little higher, shifting himself between your thighs as he continues to kiss you , his hands wearily moving from your thighs and under your shirt causing a small hum to leave your lips…

“hm..” He stops for a moment, “i have missed this..”

“oh?” you stop, blinking at him as he hand slowly runs over your chest , your eyes half lidded as you stare at him

“i…i..not like that! i meant being a human…i wasn’t like some total manwhore…i mean this is the closest i’ve gotten to actually touching-…ill just…ill just shut up..”

You giggle at him, moving his head to rest on your chest as your fingers run through his wet hair , sighing out , “you worried me…”

“i know but trust me…i would never leave you..i chose to haunt you when i was a ghost and..i am so gonna haunt you now im alive….you’re gonna have to kill me to get me to leave ..” He smiles up at him, fingers drawing circles into your skin, eyes shining with softness and admiration once again as yours mirror his.

“i think id like it if you haunted me forever, jer…”

“yeah..?”

“mhm…”

You both settle , breathing matching as you stare at each other…mind at peace and body calm under his…you’d have this forever .

[fortemelody]

AHHHSHFBTKFNTLFKGNFMDM SONIC 3 TRAILER SONIC 3 TRAILER SONIC 3 TRAILER IM LOOSING MY SHIT RN

here’s some things i noticed/wondered/loved:

- i think in that scene where tom is on the ground yelling for sonic, he is wearing a special forces suit. maybe he upgraded from cop to working with gun?? if so i think that’s a really good use of his character actually! he wanted to save a life and raise a family above all else yes, but he still got his previous dream of doing more serious cop work!

- shadow just. has a big ass portal?? like holy shit he’s just suckin the life outta earth and ig that’s one way to do it (or maybe it’s just a ring and i’m stupid idek)

- i’m sure we’ll learn more about this in the actual movie so i’m not too worried, but i’m super confused at the very beginning scene. apparently sonic didn’t change his heart…but he did tho? like he learned what being a true hero meant in the last movie. tbh i feel like that’s enough but hey i’m not against more character development for our boy so!! (also that bit where he’s like “in my lungs” was actually really funny to me, ben schwartz’ awesome delivery caught me off guard)

- GERALD ROBOTNIK ALIVE HUUUUH?! tbh i would’ve preferred if maria was alive, i feel like that would be an interesting dynamic. but also ig that would make it harder for shadow to learn anything so i totally get it. anyways i’m just glad they’re putting a little twist on the story, it keeps it interesting. they already sorta did that with the knuckles and iblis thing actually! (even if that show sucked ass and although that probably wasn’t intentional 😭)

- even tho bro only got like… 3 lines, i really think keanu fits shadow. he’s very soft spoken in comparison to the rest of the case which feels nice. also he’s like the “really bad” guy so ofc he’s not gonna be yappin on and on like sonic or robotnik and he’s gonna take things uber seriously.

- where was my girl maddie :( i think she was only in like a singular frame. hope shes in the movie a somewhat significant amount. i heart pretzel lady!! could live without wade tho like pls im so sick of his bowling soap opera 💀

- FAT ROBOTNIK FAT ROBOTNIK FAT ROBOTNIK!!! after fucking 3 movies they finally fulfilled jim carrey’s wishes!! let the man get creative like please i love jim carrey sm aughdfhfnfmschxj. also love how we got so much stobonik content within that short scene like jesus come get y’all’s food

- shadow at one point says something along the lines of “when we’re done, there won’t be anything left.” maybe i’m reading WAY to into this but what does the “we’re” part mean?? is he working with others? i feel like this is either gonna be team dark or some new movie exclusive character(s). edit: someone made a valid point that he’s actually probably referring to gerald (look at reblogs!)

-CHAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey wonder if the room therye in is like an amusement park or somethin like that

- no sign of amy :( but honestly my prediction now is that she’s gonna be the post credit scene teaser cus they always do a new character reveal there. first tails, then shadow. and honestly now i think it might be better that way so shadow can have a chance to breathe and show his story in full. i’m pretty sure i vaguely remember colleen (tails’ VA) being kinda mysterious about amy’s appearance when asked, and also the fact that it was confirmed that this isn’t the end of the movie franchise/universe. but ig we’ll just have to wait and see!

so sorry i stated this yesterday morning to give my initial thoughts but then got busy and completely forgot to post/finish it. and today i started (and am close to finishing) a very long edit of the trailer, so be on the look out for that too!

genuinely i feel like this movie is gonna somehow be even more record breaking than any of the previous movies and i am so here for the hype 🙏

[nicherayyy]

Niche!! Im glad to see u back!! How are you doing?

I had this scenario in my mind about La Squadra x child reader and im sorry if my asks are too much but I love the way you write this entire concept so much, i rlly hope you don’t mind if I share some of my scenarios and thoughts.

There was this video , the closest I could find to the original (besides that annoying robotic voiceover, I apologise )

I thought it was so cute because I can only imagine this w Pros. Imagine receiving a crumb of this mans affection😭 Like ofc he tries to look professional, even at home, but for his kid?? I think he would appreciate it, especially if reader is not really the cuddly type as they get older. Maybe there will be a pat on the back or head, or a genuine smile, letting you know that even if you get older he will still love you the same. He will still fight for you, protect you and root for you- because you are his child. I like to imagine Ghiaccio too- he would try to ask what you are doing as you simply settle against him, just wanting to show some affection. he won’t complain once he realized what you were trying to do- on the inside he is like 🥺. You are his kid and he will not deny your hugs, wrapping his arms around you and leaving the laptop he previously worked on aside- even if Formaggio or Illuso come barging in, teasing him and all, he will make a note to beat them up later-but for now he will enjoy this moment between you two (Cue these two idiots wanting hugs too, but you will never catch Illuso alive saying that)

Hiii! I’m doing great, thanks for asking <3

And no, I absolutely love this type of requests, so don’t worry abt it!!

Okay so here’s the hcs

Teenage Reader hugging their Father Figure from La Squadra

Oh yes, Risotto Nero. Stoic leader of the most feared assassin group

And a loving father

Just imagine this tall, intimidating man cuddling his child😭💔

And of course, as reader was younger, they used to cuddle all the time

Reader returned from school? Cuddles

Reader is getting ready for bed? Yeah, could someone (*cough cough* Risotto) give them a cuddle?

So yeah, reader is basically a cuddle bug

But after some years of course, cuddles became a rare occurrence

(Which Risotto was very sad about)

But he understood, maybe reader just didn’t want to, or think that cuddles are for children

So when teenage reader just crawled into Risotto’s arms just like in old times..

The man literally melted

Immediately hugged reader back

He didn’t even realise how much he missed this😭

“If I’m too heavy I can stand up”

“Please don’t”

Literally so happy

With Prosciutto it’s a bit different

Of course, even after reader got older he still gives them some pats on a head and words of encouragement

I mean, it’s his child, he loves them to death

But still, he wasn’t an affectionate type of parent

And when reader crawled into his lap he immediately got still

For a few seconds he didn’t know what to do

“Is it okay? If you don’t want to cuddle—“

“I do want to cuddle”, he hugged reader back

Okay let me tell you Pesci is so sad when reader stop wanting to cuddle

Like.. why don’t they want to cuddle?

Did he do something and now reader hates them?

Where’s his cuddly baby?😭

But he made peace with it after some time

I mean, reader is a teenager now

And I guess it’s not so cool for teenagers to hug with their dad

So when reader just randomly hugged him..

He cried

And of course hugged reader back

“Wha- why are you crying?”

“I’m just *sob* so happy”

Melone is a cuddle bug himself

Like he LOVES to cuddle

It’s his favourite way to show people that he cares for them

So when his child got older and stopped to cuddle he was really sad

He knew it was normal, reader got older and maybe they just stopped liking this type of affection

And of course he didn’t expect to get a hug from them when he was working on his laptop

The speed with which he put aside all of his tasks😭

Mf was over the moon with happiness

“You have no idea how happy I am right now”

Okay I believe Ghiaccio won’t tolerate any cuddles

Unless those cuddles are from reader

I mean they’re his child, why wouldn’t he want cuddles from them?

But of course he won’t show it

Imagine reader crawling into his arms and he’s like:

“What are you doing?”

“Cuddling”

“Okay”

HE LOVES IT

Even is he’s just sitting on the couch with poker face, he still will hug reader back

And if someone (*cough* Formaggio *cough* Illuso) tries to tease him about it.. well Ghiaccio would handle it later

Let’s just hope this someone has enough time to stay frozen

Speaking about Illuso

I think he like cuddles

But he rarely initiates them

Of course he loves giving his child affection, only he prefers to show his love with words or gift giving

But still he would appreciate the hug from reader

“Oh so you still love your old man? How sweet of you”

The same as Melone, Formaggio is a cuddle bug

But let’s be fr, he loves all types of affections

Pats on the back, words of encouragement, you name it

He always initiates cuddles with reader

And he’s got kinda used to the fact that only he initiates them

So when reader initiated hugs first—

“OH MY GOD FINALLY”

He immediately hugged reader back

And I mean this tight bear hug

Definitely won’t let reader go for a few minutes

[the-elegant-necromancer]

Who says magic has rules? Part 2

Part 1 here

Cinder finds herself in a plain white space all alone.

Cinder: Hello? Where am I? Did I actually die?

Phyrra: Hello again

Cinder: What! But, oh Im really dead this time?

Phyrra: Not exactly, I mean you're close. Its nice to see you.

Cinder: What? So if Im not dead why the hell am I seeing you?

Phyrra: Well its complicated. You took the maiden powers when you weren't supposed to. so there are some bits left over.

Cinder: Bits what bits?

Phyrra: Well me for starters

Cinder: So if Im not dead then what the hell! I can't just stay here, he's out there trying to heal me and its going to get him killed!

Phyrra: Calm down, time moves different here.

Cinder: Don't you tell me to be calm, that fool is going to get himself killed over me and I will NOT allow that!

Phyrra: Well that answers a few of my questions. *starts laugh warmly*

Cinder: What questions! What are you talking about.

Phyrra: Take good care of him for me okay? Oh and you're going to have to teach him how to use the maiden powers... or hm, what should we call it?

Cinder: Wait, so, I was right? *Smugly smiling*

Phyrra: Eh... fifty-fifty

Cinder: Wait what does THAT mean? Stop being so vague!

Phyrra: Sorry, thats all Im really allowed to say. Just be gentle with his heart okay? He's going to need you.

Cinder: *Wakes up taking a harsh breath before coughing*

Jaune: Firelight! Oh you're okay, I though I lost you for a minute.

Cinder: I think you did... *still coughing roughly trying to catch her breath*

Jaune: I'm just glad you're okay.

Cinder: You have Phyrra to thank for that... and this....

Jaune: Wait you saw her!? And for wha- Mrph!

Cinder: *Kissing him hard slipping the man a little tongue before pulling away slowly* That.

Jaune: Oh... wow, okay... wait why do I feel, weird?

Cinder: *Smiling smugly* Turns out I WAS right, or in a manner. Turns out maidens are supposed to have guardians. I just made you mine.

Jaune: Wait! What does that even mean?

Cinder: It means that you can use the same power I can, as long as Im alive that is.

Jaune: Why didn't Ozpin ever say anything about that? Seems like a huge oversight!

Cinder: Ask the old man once we're out of here. Right now *starts to stand looking at where her wound used to be* We should go, there is a passage not far from here.

Jaune: Alright but you're going to have to tell me how these powers work... its not like you gave me a user manual with that kiss.

Cinder: You're clever, you'll figure it out.

Jaune: Uh huh... so anything else I should know about being your guardian knight?

Cinder: No idea, but if I come close to dying again Ill ask Phyrra to explain it.

Jaune: Just great.

[shazzbaa]

“How’s Samuel's ambition going in Fallen London, Shazz?” well I’m so glad you asked, its gOING GREAT,

[No spoilers or coy hinting for Light Fingers in the tags/replies/reblogs please!! if I am missing some poor edward detail that i dont know yet DONT TELL ME, IM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND IM SO INVESTED IN THIS RIDICULOUS AMBITION LMAO]

the guy in the weird tragedy mask is Poor Edward -- he's the one who buried Sam alive before!! anyway due to a complicated series of events Sam smashed a bottle in his face that happened to be full of love potion and uh,,,, IT TOOK EFFECT,,,,,, Poor Edward is fully aware the love potion is causing this but he's making that Samuel's problem. im obsessed with him.

[ethical-cain-vinnel]

hear me out, you and anakin have been enemies for years like just constant head butting and competition, and one day y’all both are training and your both trying to show off competitively, and afterwards, just to piss him if you say your master is kind of attractive or something and what happens next happens 🤭 sorry i’m famished for enemies to lovers anakin stuff

RAHHHHHH I LOVE THIS IDEA THIS HAS ME LEGIT FOAMING AT THE MOUTH THANK YOU GIRLBOSS

SPOILED BITCH

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x reader

Teaser Trailer: Your Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi usually has you and Anakin separated when training. He’s worried that the animosity between you two could eventually lead to one of you getting hurt because you two don’t know when to stop. But today, on the rest day for training, he’s woken you two up and has decided that you two would hash out your differences and train together for the first (and probably last) time.

Tags/Warnings: Bickering, porn with plot, very little use of Y/N, no gendered terms (girl, she/her, etc) but AFAB anatomy (im sorry idk how to write AMAB anatomy), hatefucking, lowkey dubcon at the start but quickly turns consensual, mentions of Padme (they’re broken up in this), bath sex, rough sex, little to no prep (make sure to prep irl or that shit HURTS, coming from your local whore), unprotected p in v (don’t be silly, wrap ya willy), choking, fluff at the end

Notes: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I LOWKEY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO START IT LMFAO but im really glad you sent this in cause I had a lot of fun writing this!! I did change it a little bit but it still has that enemies to lovers plot that you said you were jonesing for so I hope you like it! Also im so sorry if anakin is ooc i really tried to make him true to his character.

In the heart of the Jedi Temple, a place of serenity and wisdom, were two dickheads who couldn’t stop bickering and driving their master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, absolutely insane. Every word moved him more and more to the dark side (kidding, not kidding). “You’ll never be a true Jedi, Skywalker,” You taunted, your eyes flashing with defiance. “You let your emotions control you too easily.” “And you’re too focused on rules and regulations,” he shot back, his tone dripping with disdain. “The Jedi Code has made you blind to the real world.” You were about to respond when your master spoke. “Enough. Both of you.” He turns around and gives you both a sharp glare. This shuts you both right up. “Sorry, Master,” You both mumble like scolded children. Obi-Wan sighs and continues taking you to the training ground.

When you arrive at the grounds, you and Anakin shoot each other confused looks before Obi-Wan begins to speak. “In the past, I have not let you two train together. This is because I am afraid one, if not both of you, will have bad physical injuries by the end. But,” Flashes of annoyance and exhaustion from months of your constant bickering show in his eyes. “You two have officially worn me down. Today, you will train together. I will not be supervising because I feel you two should work this out by any means necessary. As long as you both come out of the training alive, I don’t care what happens here.” You begin to feel a bit guilty. You and Anakin have indeed pushed your master to his limits. But that’s quickly replaced by excitement and needing to beat Anakin.

Obi-Wan laid out the rules of the training before quickly leaving the grounds. With Obi-Wan's departure, you and Anakin found yourselves standing on the training ground, lightsabers in hand, the tension thick enough to slice through. Anakin couldn't resist taking the first jab, both verbally and physically. "Well, Y/N, let's see if you can back up all that talk." You smirked, your eyes glinting with determination. "Oh, Anakin, I've been waiting for this moment. Let's see if you can finally prove that you're not all bark and no bite." The clash of lightsabers rang out as the duel commenced, the blades creating sparks of energy that mirrored the sparks flying between you. "You're still too aggressive, Anakin," you taunted, sidestepping his lunge. "The Force doesn't respond well to blind rage, you know," Anakin grunted, his frustration evident. "And you're too busy following the rule book to see the big picture. Sometimes, you have to do what's necessary." Your retort came swiftly, "Sometimes, what's necessary isn't letting your emotions run rampant. That's how we fall to the dark side." The battle raged, each strike and parry accompanied by another biting remark. It was as if the Force itself reveled in your ongoing rivalry, fueling the intensity of the duel.

"You know, Anakin, maybe if you focused on your training more than your obsession with winning, you'd improve," you quipped, dodging a particularly aggressive swipe from his lightsaber. Anakin's eyes blazed with anger, and he pushed harder, but you deftly countered his every move. "And maybe if you let loose a bit, you'd discover there's more to the Force than ancient texts and lectures." Your movements became fluid, almost graceful, as you expertly parried Anakin's attacks. "I'll take wisdom over recklessness any day, Anakin." As the duel continued, your words stung as much as your strikes, and it was clear that Anakin was growing frustrated, his resolve wavering. He overextended himself in a moment of vulnerability, leaving an opening you quickly seized. With a swift maneuver, you disarmed him, sending his lightsaber flying out of his grasp. You held your lightsaber at his throat, a triumphant smile on your lips. "Checkmate," you declared, breathing heavily but victorious.

Later that night, you were getting ready for bed. The training with Anakin was rewarding but so fucking tiring. You had bruises and small cuts all over your body that stung as you entered the hot bath, the salts meant for relaxation causing your muscles to tense up and a small, involuntary whimper to leave your mouth. As you sunk deeper into the water, you relaxed more. Your cuts still stung, but it was all worth it to wipe that stupid smile off of your rival’s face. God, his stupid face. You had no idea what Padme sees in him. His stupid brooding blue eyes, his full lips that always turn into a scowl when he sees you. Fuck. Even you, his number one rival, can’t deny that he’s really hot. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear someone enter the bathroom. You immediately make sure your entire body is below the water, the bubbles covering you. You look to see who it is and it’s Anakin. “Anakin, what the FUCK?? GET OUT!” you begin to scream when he covers your mouth, glaring down at you as he leans over the tub. Your voice got caught in your throat as his glare sent shivers down your spine and warmth down to your pussy. When he can tell you’ve officially shut up, he slowly takes his hand off of your mouth and for a moment, you two just stare at each other, a mix of hatred and lust. “You're a real spoiled bitch, you know that?” he seethes and you scoff. “Oh, I’m spoiled cause I was able to put you in your place?” His hand shoots to grab your neck, choking you slightly and you let out a small whimper, not expecting it. He smirks and pulls you into a rough kiss, your mind going a million miles an hour. You pull away and he lets you, not wanting to force you into anything you don’t want to do. “What is wrong with you??” You say, obviously bothered. “You’re dating Padme and you’re trying to kiss me and fuck me?? What is wrong with you??” You fume. He smirks a bit, thinking your reaction is a bit funny. “Padme and I broke up a month ago.” Those words make your jaw drop and your eyes practically bug out of your skull.

But he knows that all of your inhibitions were limited only to him not being single, as you immediately pull him into another heated kiss, tongue and teeth clashing as you help him hastily strip off his robes and you pull him into the tub with you. You lay back against the porcelain and he gets on top of you, his hand coming up to choke you slightly again. He begins to kiss down your neck and to your collarbone, his free hand coming to pinch your soapy tits and you whine. Your hand found his cock in the water and lined him up with your entrance. He quickly pushed in and gave you no time to adjust to his (massive) size as he began pounding you roughly. “Stupid spoiled bitch. Always a pain in my ass yet I’m dicking you down.” He mumbles breathily as his cock hits your g spot over and over again, leaving you breathless. “Say thank you.” He demands but you’re already too fucked out to hear. It isn’t until he slaps you across the face that you can listen. “I fucking said thank me. Do it and maybe I’ll let you cum tonight” “Thank you!! Thank you Anakin!!” You moan loudly and his hand comes back to your throat, a smirk on his face “Yea thats what I fuckin’ thought. Good fuckin slut f’me. So fuckin good” He pants as he fucks your pussy with reckless abandon. He can feel your cunt clenching on him, signaling that you’re close to cumming and if he wasn’t also on the brink, he woulda stopped right then and there and ruined your orgasm. “Cum f’me. Cum f’me, baby” He moans and the chord in your belly snaps, covering his cock with your juices as you moan his name. He whimpers softly and you feel as he fills you up with his cum. You’re both left panting and after a few moments you two start to laugh softly, looking at the mess you made. Water and bubbles all over the floor, the water in the tub left white and milky and your bodies sweaty and bruised. He looks at you in a way he never has before and he leans down to kiss you sweetly. “C’mon. Stand up and I’ll help you shower” He says with a sweet smile. You have a feeling things are going to be different from now on between you.

[cozage]

Hello! I'm always tempted to go anon because for some reason, I expect judgment from people who are here for the same reason I am. It's very silly. But anyway. May I please have Law and Luffy in an Ace-Marineford situation (captured by the marines and set for public execution) with their s/o being the Luffy, head of the pack coming to save them. But like they survive! Maybe their s/o loses a limb or an eye or is badly hurt or something, but they survive and are together at the end. I'm here for angst, not more Marineford related trauma!

Thank you for your time.

A/N: Im so glad you don't turn anon! And I'm so glad you're here :) Ohhhkay! I imagine this takes place in Dressrosa. You get captured during the escape, and the Strawhats + Law rush to come to get you in Marineford. 

P.S. I realized you wanted Luffy and Law separately about 2/3rds through writing this story IM SO SORRY. 

Characters: gn reader x Strawhats & Law

Cw: reader peril, fighting, reader getting injured, Marineford spoilers

Total word count: 2k

How to Save a Life

Looking down at Marineford, Luffy found it all extremely foreign. He remembered the platform where you kneeled to the world. But everything else was unfamiliar. 

Of course, they had to rebuild a lot of it after Ace’s execution. Luffy remembered that much. The devastation that had been caused by both sides had been immense. But they had chosen to rebuild regardless. And now Luffy was back here again. For you. 

His entire command of 4,000 individuals had come along with him, as well as Law. But Luffy refused to allow the execution to drag on longer than it needed to. The world government knew how much of a threat he was now. And if he didn’t get to you quickly, they would kill you in a heartbeat. 

They had two Vice Admirals ready to perform the execution. Luffy’s conqueror haki wouldn’t impact them the way it had the last time. His best bet would be to get up close to you and get out. 

Everyone was frozen, waiting for the first person to make the move. 

“Please leave, Luffy!” you screamed, breaking the eerie silence that had begun the moment his ship rose from the sea. “It’s a tr-”

Akainu slammed his foot into your back, shoving you down into the ground to keep you quiet, and Luffy’s rage ignited. There was no way in hell that Luffy would allow Akainu to kill two people he loved. 

“Torao-”

As he spoke to get the other captain’s attention, a blue hue appeared around him. It didn’t encapsulate the entirety of Marineford, but it would get him closer to you. Close enough. 

“Ready!” Akainu commanded, and the two Vice Admirals raised their swords. 

Luffy gritted his teeth, praying he would get there in time. He felt his surroundings change, and suddenly he was in the middle of the air. His hand slung back and shot forward. But even if he could take out one of the executioners, there was still another sword that would end your life. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for the end. All you could do now is hope that Luffy and the others would make it out alive. 

A fist met your face, and you could feel your entire body blow backwards from the impact of the punch. You could hear the sound of two swords smack against the wooden platform, and you cracked an eye open to see what was happening. 

Luffy was soaring through the air, diving headfirst to you. He had punched you out of the way of the execution. It was such an idiotic but obvious answer, and of course Luffy thought of it.

He screamed your name, reaching out towards you. You could see the Marines tense, looking to Akainu for direction, but you didn’t care. The only person you cared about now was Luffy. 

“Luffy, wait!” you screamed, desperate to get him to stop. You expected that Akainu anticipated some kind of complication. To him, you were just bait for a bigger fish. “It’s a trap!”

“I’m coming for you!” Luffy yelled back. “Don’t stop fighting!” 

You knew he wouldn’t stop. You knew he didn't care if it was a trap. He had a panicked look in his eyes, only focused on you. So you listened to your captain. 

As Akainu approached you, his hand began flowing with magma. He was expecting you to cower, to be frozen in fear as Luffy had been the last time he was here. And when Akainu went in for the kill, Luffy would sacrifice himself to save you, just as Ace had last time. 

But you refused to let that happen. Luffy wouldn’t be dying for you. He wouldn’t be dying anytime soon. Not before he became king of the pirates. 

You scrambled away from Akainu as best you could, giving Luffy as much time as possible to come up with some kind of plan. Your shackles didn’t give you much movement on the platform, but it was enough to keep yourself away from him. 

You saw the outline of one of Luffy’s Elephant Gun attacks, and you braced yourself for another punch. The wooden platform splintered under you, and you felt rubber arms wrap around you, pulling you to him. 

“Watch the sea prism!” you cried out, but suddenly Zoro was next to you. He looked startled, as if he wasn’t expecting to be there, but he quickly examined the situation and drew his blades. He sliced your shackles off and grabbed your arm, trying to stop his forward momentum. You all tumbled to the ground, Luffy turning into a balloon at the last second to cushion your fall. 

“Stupid cannons,” Zoro mumbled, holding his swords out while looking at the Vice Admirals. Luffy stood next to him, gearing himself up for battle. Zoro glanced over at you and gritted his teeth in irritation. “Get back to the ship!”

You looked at the two of them, protecting you. “Luffy-” 

“Just get inside Torao’s room,” Luffy reasoned. For once in his life, he actually made sense. “Then we’ll join you.”

You nodded and turned on your heels to run towards the blue hue in the distance. You didn’t want to leave them, but you were the Navy’s primary target, and you knew everyone would be coming to attack you. You had to remind yourself this was a rescue mission, and if you died, then everything they did would be for nothing. 

You ran, fighting off Marines as you ran past them. You picked up a sword from a fallen soldier as defense, thankful for all of the times Zoro made you train with him. Marines were surrounding you slowly though, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer like this. 

You had made a mistake. You knew that, and as much as you wanted to correct it, it was too late. Pain ripped through your abdomen, and you screamed out. A sword had found its way into your flesh, and you could see blood beginning to blossom from the wound area, spreading over your clothes. 

You wanted to collapse from the pain. To curl up and die, to give in to the will of the World Government. But you had to find a way to survive. You couldn’t die now, so close to freedom. Luffy would never forgive you. You couldn’t leave him alone. So you stabbed at the Marines, sweeping them to the side and continued on your journey. 

“Y/N!” Luffy’s voice came from behind you, screaming out in desperation. You were too tired to turn around and look at him, but you could hear the slap of his sandals as he approached you. It was all you could do to keep upright.

His arms wrapped around you, helping support you. The second you felt him, you leaned heavily into him, the adrenaline wearing off now that you knew you were safe. You still had at least 500 yards to go, but you knew Luffy wouldn’t let anything happen to you now. Your vision began to blur, and you suddenly felt very cold and very tired. 

“Don’t give up yet,” Luffy yelled, shaking you awake. “You have to keep moving.”

Luffy’s voice held a certain urgency that willed you back into the moment. You blinked away the sleep from your eyes and kept moving closer to the blue hue of safety. It was closing in fast, 400 yards, then 300, then 200. 

“Zoro?” You paused to look around for the mossy haired swordsman, but Luffy kept propelling you forward. 

“He’s holding off the admirals,” Luffy said, adjusting his grip around you. 

Luffy could feel you tense at that, but he kept moving. He was practically dragging you now from walking so fast. It was all your legs could do to not give out, but neither of you could worry about Zoro now. He was capable enough to hold his own against any enemies you faced, this was no different. 

You practically flung yourself into the blue sphere, and instantly felt weightless in the air, before dropping onto the deck of a ship. You groaned and rolled over, face to face with a green haired man that wasn’t Zoro. 

You yelped out in surprise, trying to scramble backwards away from the stranger. 

“Oh man, you look like you’re in rough shape!” the man said. “Nothing you haven’t been through before though, right?” 

You gave him a confused and irritated look, but he turned his attention from you and looked out. “A doctor! Y/N needs a doctor!”

“I’m a doctor, idiot!” You heard Law’s voice in the distance and felt calmer. At least you were amongst friends, even if you weren’t sure who they were.

“You can’t leave Mister Luffy and-” The green haired man spoke again.

“I’m not!” Law shot back. His voice was still strained, but it was softer when he addressed you. “Can you hold on a few minutes?”

You nodded, pressing your hand against your stomach wound. You needed to slow down the bleeding as much as possible. Your vision was hazy and you felt cold, but you forced your eyes to stay open. 

A few seconds later, Luffy and Zoro appeared next to you where some barrels were. Luffy ran to you, covering you in kisses. 

“Luffy,” you said, struggling to hang on to consciousness. “Tell Law I’m type F.”

“Type F?” he asked, looking at you with concern, but you had already given into the darkness. 

---

When your eyes fluttered open, you laid in a bed with bright lights above you. There was a mechanical whirring and steady beeps of machines, letting you know you were alive. 

“You were lucky,” Law said, looking down at you. “Incredibly lucky. If that blade had hit one more inch to the left and you wouldn’t be here now.”

You let out a shaky breath, scared of what could have been. “Thank you, Law,” you said.

He raised an eyebrow. “For what?” 

“Saving me?” you laughed, which in turn made you wince in pain.

“I didn’t save you,” Law said. “There wasn’t much I could do besides close up the wound.” His eyes darted to the bed next to you. “What you needed was a blood transfusion, which he helped with.”

You turned your head slightly to find Luffy sleeping in the bed next to you. He had a bandage wrapped around his arm, but other than that he looked relatively fine. 

“Luffy?” you asked, and Law nodded. 

At the mention of his name, Luffy stirred, mumbling a strew of syllables mixed between your name and different kinds of meat. After a moment, his eyes flicked wide open, and he bolted upright, looking around frantically. 

“Did we do it?” he asked, looking at Law. 

Law’s eyes darted over to you, and finally Luffy turned, his eyes meeting yours. A wide grin appeared across his face, and laughter bubbled up inside of him. 

“You’re okay!” he cried. Luffy jumped out of his bed and into yours, wrapping you tight in a hug.

You ignored the pain of your wound for the moment, thankful to be in his embrace again. 

“Get off!” Law scolded his fellow captain. “If that wound opens up again we’re all back where we started!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Luffy said, still giddy with the fact you were back in his arms. He loosened his grip, but didn’t let you go completely. 

You leaned in to him, trying your best not to cry. “Thank you, captain. Thank you for saving me. Twice.”

“I’ll always come back for you,” Luffy murmured in your ear, giving you a light squeeze. “No matter what. You’re stuck with me now, and I won’t let anything happen to you. That’s a promise.”

[popcornforone]

I’ll Make An Exception

A Frankie (Catfish) Morales Fic

Day 20 of Pedrotober

Masterlist

Ooooh so you all liked soft Frankie reading Fink did you (im publishing this now I’m home from my second viewing of The Wild Robot in 48hs) well today you get a bit more of the menace that we all fantasise about. God he’s talented.

Synopsis:- it’s the morning after you met a hot stranger at the bar.

Word count:-1100

Warnings over & above:- most of this is done by messages to each other, masturbation,naughty photos suggesting activities, sexual tension, swearing, alcohol, hook up friends with benefits.

Thanks for giving this a read my loves. As always please thank @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for setting this up.

Had the night before been a blur, or did it happen? You weren’t sure. You knew you were overly tired on this Sunday morning. Not actual hangover that made you dash to the bathroom to be sick but you did have a small headache. Past you knew this would be the case for Louisa birthday & you had a bottle of water & some painkillers by the bed, past you knew future you would need them. You’d also clearly had not been that tipsy as you had got home, locked the house up, taken your make up off & changed into your sleep shirt. That blue & white stripy one. Yet as you laid there thinking about if you should get brunch, you also felt happy. Like something had happened the night before.

That’s when your 11:30 emergency alarm went off. You knew you didn’t want to sleep in & not get any sleep before work on Monday on Sunday night. You’d learnt from past mistakes. As your hand reached to turn it off it stopped. This made you sit up in bed & reach for the phone.

Unknown number

1 message

You swiped & clicked & your eyes widened.

Morning beautiful, hope you got in okay last night 😘

It floods back. The handsome man at the bar. The one with the dirty cap that looked older than him. The stray locks & curls trying to escape it. Big brown eyes. Soft large hands. A grey shirt & jeans which well showed him off in all his glory.

You lie in bed & smile. Your friends know you often don’t like guys to flirt with you at bars, but you signaled to them that this one was fine. He had started out nervous, but from your memory you remember a gently kiss on the back of your hand, you kissing his beard patch, & vaguely remember grabbing his phone to put his number in, before your girls dragged you to the next bar for their happy hour. Your eyes lingering on him for as long as you could. Your blushing right now thinking about him, when the next message pings through.

If you don’t remember me that’s fine, but I just want to check your okay.

You smile & reply to him.

Morning, I’m alive not hungover how are you… frankie?

Your being honest when you ask that, something in the back of you mind just clicked that this was his name.

Ahhh I’m so glad you’re alright, & yes I am Frankie… how many guys did you give your number to last night? You know he’s starting off soft but you can tell from the messages & how you body feels as you think of him, that he could be the right kind of trouble for you.

Just the one, he was kinda cute & shy, I liked him. You can’t see frankie blush as he reads that message.

Lucky him, so I didn’t scare you off?

No 2 for 1 cocktails are clearly more important to my friends than my dating life

Which is?

Until last night none exisitant

& now?

Possible

So you think I’m a good dancing partner?

Whoever said we’d go dancing?

I mean in bed?

You almost choke on your bottle of water at his reply, he’s being forward now he’s realised you’re up for it. It’s not usually what you go for but you are enjoying this. Your arousal growing, tempted to get out your vibrator as you message this handsome stranger from the night before.

Well that all depends, I like whoever I bed to take me on a date first

Ooooh so dinner before desert

Yes

Hmmmm & what would I wake up to each morning if I decided to peruse this. You then quickly snap a selfie not caring how bad your hair is & send it to him so he can see you sleeping in the sleep shirt. Frankie has to palm his cock instantly once he receives the photos.

Any panties under that?

Yes, a small red thong

Damn it baby

& you frankie? What does a smoking hot pilot wear to bed. Your turn to receive a topless selfie, you lick your lips looking at his good body, his chest you want to bury your head in as you bounce up & down on his cock moaning his name as he grabs your arse & he tells you to be a good girl. Your own hand goes to your clit.

Hmmm nice view

I think mine would be better. You then do the ultimate power move & take your thong off & send him a photo of it on the bedroom floor.

Well I’m sure that’s a view you’d like to see.

You fucking tease

You started it

Did not

Did too 🤪

You go back & forth with this. Your pace picking up. He’s asked you if you like someone in control, if you shut your eyes when you cum. The friction unbearable & you moan in a voice note going fuck yes. You have know I dear that this send him over the edge too. Frankie cums all over his hand. A waste he says to himself. After all the self pleasure he then send you one final message.

What if you turned your location on right now to your phone? What would happen?

I dunno come round & find out. You turn on your location & then hear nothing at all for 15mins. You lie there damp & ready to be ravaged by a man who you know nothing about other than he likes to pull a girls hair as she sits as his reverse cow girl.

Then the door bell goes off & you walk downstairs to open it. There in the midday sun stand frankie, he’d clearly thrown on what was near him, long shorts with paint stains on them a grey tshirt & that cap. you stand there still in just your night shirt & look at him.

“Hello handsome”

“Hi does this count as a date?” He asks as he clicks his keys to make sure his truck is locked & you can see his other hand is over his manhood trying to not cum at the state of you in a bed shirt that just about covers your bum.

“No but for you sexy”You wink & grab his hand”I’ll make an exception”

You drag him into your house & lock the door & he pushes you up against it. Clothes fly off everywhere as what was going to be your lazy Sundays for recovery becomes one of the most passionate afternoons of love making in your life.

[abilouwrites]

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

I. Midoriya

I’ve loved him my entire life, from the day we met to the day I die I’ll love him. I loved him even when he confessed he was quirkless. I loved him when we both somehow became hero’s. When he confided that he’d taken All Mights’s quirk. That he would become the last user of it.

I believe he loved me, loved me when I went to his dorm door at two in the morning. Crying through the nightmares, he’d hold me in his arms and rock me back and forth until he felt me relax in his arms. Collapsing into him, “are they back?” He references the nightmares I’ve been plagued with. The ones that keep me from sleep. The ones that make me shoot up and pace.

A feeble nod is all he needs before we lay next to each other. Holding hands as we talk about life. Where we want to intern or work for. Who we want to be.

Im not surprised I ended up here. Laying in his arms. Back against his legs as he holds my hands. Applying pressure against my wounds. Careful at every hiss and wheeze I emit from my cracked and split lips. Looking at the metal rod sticking through my stomach. His eyes are wide, tears messily stick to his cheek and eyelashes. Soft hiccups make me wince as I cry too.

“Just hold on. Just stay with me” he pleads silently as I look up at him, “we have so much to do. So much to live for” he cries out. Hunching over me. Wiping wet tears from my cheeks, “comon.. don’t you wanna work with me one day?”

I smile weakly at him, my body hurts. Pain hasn’t ever felt so raw before. Nothings hurt like this, nothings hurt like being fucking stabbed by a metal pipe. I cough a little as he shakes my head, “comon.. comonnn. Remember what you said when we were little? ‘Birds of a feather? We’re sticking together? No matter what?’ Something like that?” He’s a little frantic trying to remember what I used to talk about.

“Do you love me?” The question spurs, hiding in the back of my mind until it sprouts to my lips. I watch his eyes soften. Green hues that look back into mine. He smiles weakly and my heart lurches.

“Of course I do. How could I not love you?” He says that like it would be stupid of me to think he didn’t, “you’re the love of my life. You have to stay alive for me. Because I want to marry you one day. And grow old with you” he starts talking but I can’t hear him anymore.

All I see is a mouth moving but I can’t hear anything. Just a faint ringing. Like a ping pong ball bouncing off my earlobes. I don’t know what dying feels like. I’ve been surrounded by death my entire life and somehow I don’t know what it feels like.

Maybe it’s different for everyone, “I’m sorry” I apologize, I don’t know if he can hear me. If anyone can. But I feel him. I feel him shift underneath me to support my body, to tug me more into his arms as he rocks me. Slow and gentle. I creep a hand up to his face, feeling at the freckles on his face as light creeps from my eyes.

I’m glad that when I am dying, it’s his face I see. The one I love to look at. The one I’d be happy waking up to in the mornings. Surrounded by our kids. By happiness.

I didn’t want to die like this, but at least im dying in his arms.

I muse a weak smile as he bends down. A soft kiss on my lips as the world leaves me. At least I kept true to my words. I loved him till the day I died.

[kosmicdream]

Please don’t think of me as a male artist.

..is what i used to feel, for many years, even when I finally came out as trans. In a way, its one of the factors that kept me from pursuing HRT (which im so glad i finally did.) After only one year, my feeling on this hasn’t evaporated completely but i suppose I kind of don’t care anymore about how I am interpreted, as a person/artist, ect.. It isn’t something i can be in control of anyway, which upsets me less than it used to.

Sometimes in the past, the way i write characters has often been analyzed by the gender I am, or appear to be - that my male characters were written like how a woman writes men (too emotional/vulnerable, ect) , or how my female characters are written thoughtlessly- like how a man would. (too horny, stupid, violent, ect.) Its not a new way to analyze a story but I can’t say that it doesn’t annoy me. It could still be true that my characters/writing could fall into sexist/problematic archetypes, but gendering my work based on the way my characters act always reminds me of the “you draw like a girl/boy” comments, which used to be more frequent when i was a teen.. But the idea that boys = angular, good at cars! Or something and girls are, i dunno, gonna draw sexy anime men or something. Even as a teenager, i hated this idea that my art was “girl art.” Truthfully, i always viewed my art and myself as an artist as genderfluid, maybe even a type of drag performance, where i can explore any gender and not be limited by my body, it was my escape from that. Which naturally, it became my place to explore gender presentation and eventually helped me “crack my egg” of realizing i was a trans man.

I do think its important to reflect or regard my work as the art made by a trans man, or transmasculine person. I feel more and more just like “just a dude” these days. I am also a gay man. I think those things are important to my work. I think that the analysis of my work in regards to my identity as a person is important to reflect on. I also think the steps I took to get there were important, that transformation and my continued exploration of my older selves and more “label-less” self in the art i make. That’s a private space for me, that I happen to share with the world too. I feel the audience is part of my work too, I welcome it even. I have become part of the audience too and I look at my work as if I’m also a stranger. The older my work gets, the more of it I can study, the more I can see plainly how I got here and also it feels so confusing how it did. I try to study my art to help me find where I want to go to next, a map to guide me. 

In some ways, I feel more lost than I did before, where all my instinct was pushing me was just to grow and explore as much as possible. Now, I don’t have that same type of energy that I used to. Its not a bad thing, its just different. There’s a sense of duty and commitment and a sense of dread of the time it takes to do what I feel compelled to do on this step of my journey. I am trying to focus more on the things I used to think I was incapable of before and I’m trying to remember the things I used to think were so effortless. I can tell my art is sharper but it feels almost like a mimicry of my older selves - at least when I revisit old work to continue its journey past where its been frozen in time. Comics take a long time, after all, it's normal that after a few years - a story might be yours, but it feels like it belongs to the past of you too, maybe more than it does in the present. I like the commitment I have to my comics though, its not a burden to me. The feeling is strange anyway. 

I tend to think that 1-3 years of a project being made, those are the honeymoon years of the relationship. But you hit a wall in 4-5 years and sometimes you’re in denial about it, you try to keep the dreams and feeling alive as you drag it forward, and sometimes the project really reaches its end around 8-10 years and it becomes a type of empty promise to return to it. Not that this is true for every artist, every project, ect. But I think its a natural lifespan for comics that I’ve observed, and it's because it is uncomfortable to face morality and the morality of our own art. Art is this escape, and when it becomes a job - or an uncomfortable mirror into these things about ourselves, about our failures and promises we couldn’t manage to make, the pressures of the audience, the boredom of the task if you have already told yourself the story a thousand times and you have no longer a desire to continue it, ect - its a normal and natural feeling to want to drop it off a cliff. Blow it up, start over fresh - I know the feeling! Its happened many times. But its kind of temporary? Then, it cycles back to nostalgia - and the desire to create and recreate and reform the past to something tangible again.. uh

Sorry, sorry.. I am getting far from the point I started with. Not that any of this makes too much sense, I feel like writing it anyway. It bothers me that the fantasy of art to me, is the ability to dissolve yourself and stop existing, you are the creator creating. You don’t need to be confined by, really anything. It is in “your control” now, and you surrender your own control by falling into the art and letting it “lead you” places. This is a very seductive process and while it might temporarily be fulfilling (even when done for a lifetime) cannot really.. What.. completely fill the void of whatever you’re chasing down there? Its nice though. At least, when I think about when i first started drawing comics, it was to draw Vash the Stampede (from the original 98 anime series, i hate the new one. We’re not talking about there here) coming out of my television after a thunderstorm and he had to just live in my house now. It was the closest thing I could do to actually manifesting that as reality, of making this amazing anime husband come to life to just like live with me now and be my boyfriend. In a lot of ways I don’t see my pursuit of writing ocs, specifically male ones, really much different from this same desire of like “i can just make my perfect boyfriend!” born out of the loneliness I felt in my heart, and the fear that there is no boyfriend out there for me so i need to frankenstein my own - and this boyfriend will be poifect in every way. Or like, crafting the perfect “relationship” in replace the lack of one, or just the fantasy of watching very abstract extremes come to life in various puppets i crafted, beating the shit out of each other for entertainment. But to subject all these.. Abstract Internal conflicts as simply like a “boy author thing” or “girl author thing” is like.. Tiring. Are we really not past that? (Of course not.) 

Like there’s some hidden truth to the way someone might write/draw, the way that “makes sense” in retrospect once the identity of the author is analyzed and discovered.. How can you make sense of the self, let alone the other .. and In a way that’s permanent? And gendered? Does art now have an inherent sex characteristic? But I cannot deny that I do want my art to look and feel like part of who I am, what I have chosen to sexually identify as - a transgender, a man, a faggot. I DO identify as a sexual deviant, but that is hilarious because I have been single for so long at this point I can’t even remember in a tangible way what that felt like and I question if I ever felt it or experienced it “for realsies” because of the experiences I have had or havent didn’t feel very fulfilling or romantic, despite that being something I desire so much - and so I feel like a failure. And to create art just based on the fantasy of desire rather than the lived reality, can it even really display what that would actually be like. So its embarrassing, right? 

I have worked on my art a lot and I have often thought, or come to the conclusion (true or not) that my singleness is the result of my pursuit and dedication to art - which is the pursuit of self isolation and protection from harm. From influence, from acknowledging that life can exist and someday end. And when you work on projects for years and years, the pride/shame dichotomy only gets more.. Weird. It gets weird, guys! It always was weird, but.. I just think about so many my heroes, my art inspirations, working decades on their art.. I follow in their footsteps too and it feels scarier and lonelier than I expected it to be. And the more and more I realized that as a reality, as my 20s faded away, the more I kept walking. I wasn’t gonna stop now, even if I could, I don’t want to and its not hard to do other things too. I have a slower pace than I used to (thank god) and gets slower but I’m still moving. 

I don’t post or write my little art journals as much as I used to. Mostly cause I don’t really have anything good to say and it kinda feels embarrassing to post them too LOL. But.. whatever!! Its been a weird four months of me being off work and I’m about to go back to being a normal working person again.. But its like, its weird to tell people about your art when they ask about what you do. Its like “oh yeah, i draw webcomics” and they wont get it, you’ll say - “yeah its 8,000 pages long” and they’ll say, “thats a lot!” and it is. They’re very nice about it, but there’s a lack of satisfaction there with what that means. I don’t expect it, that’d be dumb as hell. Its nice to take a break from it too, to discover other sides of myself I never let shine because i stayed indoors for a decade, but its a weird feeling too. Like, what will it mean in the end? I don’t really know. 

I don’t think I need “success” to feel like this was worth it, its not like a trophy is gonna come in the mail for the good workTM I’ve done - there is no closure to the work I make even when a story finishes. I have to keep going regardless of that, and its strange to know it won’t ever feel done. But I am so thirsty for that temporary itch to be scratched, it keeps me working every day for the “maybe” of what that might feel like. Kinda silly, really. Is it my “male” pride that demands recognition? Would respect be given more freely if I had “remained” to be perceived as a woman, for subverting the expectations for what a woman can/can’t write? (lol) Is my value as a person determined by that sort of thing in my art? I don’t think of my pride as gendered, but I know its there and I know because of who I say I am, my pride will be gendered by others. I think when I was a woman, that pissed me off more than now because.. Well.. I wasn’t even living as the way i wanted to. I still don’t really live as the way I want to, the way I want to be perceived, but even being on HRT for a little more than 1 year, without much else lifestyle changes, I feel a little more at peace not mattering what others will take away from me or what i write about. I have a lot of my own expectations for myself and what i write about and that concerns me far more. 

I don’t really know how else to end this, I’m going to eat chocolate now. Oh, to answer your question (?) if you might have this one: can I think of you as a male artist, kosmic? sure. I am one after all.

[glossysoap]

that add-on abt the creamation I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS VERY INTENSELY !!!!!!!

there’s also the factor of simon having to comfort johnny and being all “that wasnt the tattoo, johnny please listen to me, it’s not them.” and he’s desperate. he’s borderline begging johnny to listen to him.

he’s so caught up in his own greif that he cant realize that by being so deadset on noticing the imperfections in “their” dead body that he’s pushing away the one pillar that’s keep him sane.😓💕

HHHHHH IM GLAD SOMEONE NOTICED THOSE TAGS JSKAJSKSJAJS i was muzzling myself LMAO

OMG YESSSS (gworl,, tell me why i accidentally wrote a lil drabble)

imagine simon just can’t shake it. he just can’t stop bringing it up, especially to johnny. in bed when they’re trying to sleep. in the locker room. on missions.

especially when no one’s talking. when his brain is quiet. and all he can think about is that corpse on the morgue table, all cold and stiff. the body that was pretending to be yours. the body that wore some imitation of your face — but it wasn’t fooling simon.

he knew his y/n. and that wasn’t you.

which is what he tried to say, to plead, to johnny. they were laying in bed together, simon staring at the ceiling and johnny laying on his side desperately trying to fall asleep.

“johnny, you need to listen to me! i’m telling you, it wasn’t them! their tat—”

“lemme guess, their tattoo wasn’t the same?” johnny almost spat, throwing his blanket off of him and sitting up in bed. when he saw simon recoil, he regretted his outburst. he sighed and brought his hands up to his face. he groaned into his hands.

simon sat up and patted johnny’s back, moving closer to his love when he heard johnny sniffle. simon wrapped his arms around johnny’s shoulders, pulling him to lean into his arms. johnny shifted so his face was pressed into simon’s chest.

“I know, love.” simon murmured into johnny’s hair, pressing a kiss into the crown of his head.

“no, I shouldn’t have said that.” johnny cried into his chest. “it just hurts. it hurts so bad.”

simon felt wetness stain his shirt as johnny’s body jerked with every sob. simon’s scarred hands rubbed johnny’s back.

“it hurts me too, johnny. believe me. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat.” simon’s voice would crack.

“I see their face every time I close my eyes. sometimes their face is from when they were alive, sometimes it’s them on the morgue table. but every single time.. I never know which one is real. I never know which one is actually them.” simon whispers.

“because of the tattoo..,” johnny mumbles into simon’s chest, throat tight with emotion. “you- you said it was supposed to be faded, right?”

simon felt a weight lift off of his shoulders when he heard johnny beginning to finally hear him out. he sighed in relief.

“right, exactly. I mean, just think about it. you remember when they would stitch us up? and they would mention how they needed to get it redone?”

“yeah! they would talk about it all the time. they were always annoyed about it fading.” johnny would start to catch on.

“yes, exactly! and when they were,” simon gulped, trying to find words. “taken.. it was still faded. so it should’ve been faded when they recovered that body. right?”

“right. when I think about it.. yeah, that tattoo looked way too perfect on that body. way too fresh.”

johnny pulled away from simon’s chest, looking up at him with wide eyes, filled with realization.

“that wasn’t them. they might not be-” johnny cut himself off with a sob, covering his mouth. “they might not be dead.”

simon nodded with a smile, tears glossing over his brown eyes.

“yeah, johnny. that’s exactly what i’m tellin’ you.”

©️ glossysoap 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission. do not steal any elements of my theme without permission.