the-elegant-necromancer

[the-elegant-necromancer]

[the-elegant-necromancer]

[the-elegant-necromancer]

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

[the-elegant-necromancer]

big mado

[the-elegant-necromancer]

Every update DE finds creative ways to call Loid gay

[the-elegant-necromancer]

★ 【umio】 「 フリーレン 」 ✔ republished w/permission

[the-elegant-necromancer]

making diagrams for mentally unwell facebook uncles to find on a pseudoreligious wisdom website with 10 unique visitors yearly

[the-elegant-necromancer]

[the-elegant-necromancer]

[the-elegant-necromancer]

teething stick

[the-elegant-necromancer]

This is fucking awesome LMAOOOO

article link

[the-elegant-necromancer]

It can be both!

I cannot begin to explain to you the disappointment I felt on finding out that “match my freak” was a sexual thing and not a level of how insane you are with your friends

[the-elegant-necromancer]

★ 【にしやま】 「 お姉さんだからね 」 ✔ republished w/permission

[the-elegant-necromancer]

[the-elegant-necromancer]

whenever people say they can't watch/play/read anything slightly upsetting or scary or challenging because it's... upsetting or scary or challenging all i can think of is this lol

[the-elegant-necromancer]

"TheyFAB" certainly isn't a pleasant word, but 9/10 it's only gonna get used on someone who makes their AGAB someone else's problem. Like it's unfortunately common for people to rhetorically weaponise their AFAB status to portray themselves as in some way ontologically innocent or incapable of engaging in oppression, frequently in contrast to some evil aggressive "male socialised" trans woman. If you happen to be someone who doesn't do that but gets caught in the crossfire so to speak, that sucks for you but I hope you can at least understand the genuine grievances behind that sort of misdirected frustration. And if you want to be taken seriously you need to respond proportionately; "TheyFAB" may be pejorative but, unless you think trans women being snappy is a form of systemic oppression, it's not a fucking slur

[the-elegant-necromancer]