#i am so so glad i survived depression

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[swirlingvortex]

It would kill me if I tried and failed so I'm just not gonna try.

[a-little-bit-poss]

.

[purrfectlycontent]

the scars you gifted me are disappearing.

the charming blood red from when your claws tore into my skin

is now budding into something new.

something pink.

one day i may forget how i lived with you

and my life that has withered away

will blossom into something new.

without you.

— with love,

[bones-n-bookles]

Re: my last reblog i kept trying to Not Ramble in the tags and failing bc im incapable of shutting up so. Venty ramble in these tags instead of my mutuals lol

[sammygender]

the older i get the more i realise how young 12/13 actually is. it’s fucking crazy and i was so crazy at that age? like what happened? and now i’m like - well i’m crazy, YEAH, just on a this-is-who-i-am level, but when i was that age i was like insane. and a lot of people say this about being 13 but i was REALLY insane. my early adolescence was like… batshit. not my life just how i felt what i did. i suppose honestly it makes sense when you look at the years PRIOR to that but like. jesus. 13 is so little

[puckywucky]

ughhhhh is it seasonal depression or am i burnt out or is it just a bad few days, my favorite game showww

[inkskinned]

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.

and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.

[kerubimcrepin]

Dofus: The Production - what is left of the old movie

Originally, the movie was supposed to tie in with the game and the Welsh & Shedar series, and be a trilogy.

As we had already explored on this blog, this did not happen for a variety of reasons.

Welsh and Shedar got cannibalized by other projects due to its cancellation, and the script of the movie "Dofus Book 1: Joris Jurgen" had to be completely rewritten from its old plot;

In that movie, Joris was likely supposed to be a street urchin, who survived together with Lilotte, who was a rogue, and the trailer we have for the older version of the movie reflects that:

As we can also see from the trailer, and the poster featured earlier, proto-Kerubim is also a part of the movie, and Khan was not yet meant to be a boufbowler.

(And considering the posters, the cat that inspired Kerubim's design was also a part of the movie. I wonder if it's related to Welsh's cat from Welsh and Shedar? But maybe I'm just crazy.)

Subsequently, the movie came out at a much later date than planned originally.

(two images included because, bizarrely, there are two versions - one with Joris's tail censored, and the other with his tail uncensored. This proves that already at this point they had a draconic backstory in mind for him, though we do know that at the time of Wakfu season 1 (and, likely, the cancelled DS game, as was noted in my post about it) it was not the case.)

Also, interestingly, it is the only art of this time to include the tail. A possible error on Xa's part, or something that was considered very briefly?

In the end, Kerubim (as well as Simone) swallowed up not just the design of Welsh's cat, clothes, and Ecaflip friend;

He also got the role Julith was supposed to have, both metaphorically, and also literally.

Or not entirely — considering the fact that Joris was supposed to spend time with him anyway, since we have art of Joris on his mount from that old draft.

It's quite interesting, to think of all that could have been different in the 2009-2012 version of the movie!

But even during the making of the second draft of the movie, a lot of things have changed. From the first idea of Joris winning Kerubim back at a pachinko machine, to the concept art of Joris's non-possessed appearance.

The movie was being actively rewritten at the time of the making of Aux Tresors, so some of the early drafts were already tied in with its canon — taking place in Astrub, to be specific — but not with its ending, because the show was still ongoing.

At one point there was supposed to be a whole cast of Huppermage characters, and judging from the fact one of them is mentioned in the following text, they did play some sort of role in the plot:

It is likely that from this early draft it was decided that Joris would be a boufbowl fan, which was then worked in as a plot point in Aux Tresors.

(Stélina may be a proto-version of Bakara.)

It also seems that at this stage, it would be likely that Lilotte was reworked to be the Princess of Bonta, before eventually becoming the Ouginak we know and love.

After this Ankama once again returned to the concept of Lilotte as an orphan, though — even when the movie was still set in Astrub!

And it seems that the draft involved travel between Astrub and Bonta, judging from the usage of a Zaap to attack Luis.

And even at this point they have come up with the tragically cut "Joris and Khan go to adult industry workers and Joris (10yo boy) engages in depressed underaged drinking" scene.

(I'll never forgive Ankama for cutting this. I still argue that it's in character for Khan, our detested/beloved turbovirgin, to do this — as long as he doesn't get together with any of the women due to thinking himself "too good" for them.)

Also, at some point the gods were supposed to play a role. And personally, I am glad it was cut — it feels a bit too grand for the first movie in what was supposed to be a series.

I don't have any grand statement, or conclusion, but it is interesting to see all the ways the movie has changed.

[aayakashii]

I’m so glad someone sent in a SH ask I’ve been too shy to! I loved it 💕 could you do another one with the remanding Hotarubi boys and Lyca?

ofc!!! I'm happy you liked it ๑´ ³)˘ᵕ˘៸៸ I'm gonna be honest, Haku's part kinda left me giggling and kicking my feet so I hope you like it as well fkfjdkdj

Warning: sh mentioned, a bit more angst on Zenji's part

"How did you get hurt?" Lyca says, grabbing your arms as soon as he noticed the fading scars.

You open and close your mouth, wordlessly, trying to think of ways to explain it to him. Lyca probably never heard or read about issues like yours. Would it be better to lie? Weave a story that wouldn't have him pity you?

You look at the earnest gaze he gives you, and you sigh. He deserves your honesty.

"I... I hurt myself. I'm the one who did this" you say, softly, knowing he would probably have more questions.

"Why would you do this?" he scrunched his face. "Is it a human thing?"

You hum, in thought.

"I guess you could say so." you reply, slowly, thinking of the proper words to explain it to him "Sometimes, when some humans are feeling very sad and like everything is a horrible mess, they feel like doing this gives them a sense of control. Not everyone does this. But, sometimes, some very depressed people might do it to feel some relief."

Lyca's wolf ears flatten against his head.

"I don't... really get it but... you were very depressed?" he mumbles, fingers tracing the little lines on your skin.

You shrug.

"I was in a dark place some time ago. I'm feeling better now, I promise" you say, and ruffle his hair.

Lyca lift his head up, yellow eyes gazing yours with determination.

"If you say you're okay now, I'll believe you. But promise me you won't try to hurt yourself again."

"I promi-" you begin to say, but he interrupts you.

"You can't lie! I'll know if you hurt yourself! I can smell you well, you know!" his face looks scrunched in anger, but his ears stay flattened on his head and his tail curls down.

You smile and pat his head again.

"I promise."

"My dear, how I wish I could have kept you safe from your struggles."

Zenji's voice, usually boisterous, spoke to you in a soft tone as he looked at the scars on your thighs while you slept.

You murmured his name in your sleep, unconsciously recognizing his presence in your room (his nightly visits became a routine, after all) and you held out your hand towards him.

His hand fazed through your skin, yet he still insisted on trying to touch you and comfort you as you slept.

He sat on your bed, eyes fixed on your peaceful figure, and he knew that those were scars from battles fought long ago – battles you have won. But it still pained him that he wasn't close to you since forever, that he wasn't able to protect you when you needed him but didn't know of him.

Even if he needed to write odysseys upon odysseys, singing praises to you throughout your whole life, just so you'd never feel so lost that you had to hurt yourself to find your footing again, he would do it.

Zenji would gladly haunt you for eternity, if it meant keeping you safe from your demons, in any way he could.

"Is this something you could tell me?" Haku squeezed your hand as he looked as the fading lines on your wrist, as you two held hands, strolling together on the beach.

You shook your head.

"There isn't a specific thing to say about it. I was in a bad place and made a choice that left these scars on me. It just... happened like that. I'm fine now, but also I don't regret them, nor do I feel ashamed. I did what I could to survive."

Haku stopped on his tracks and stared deeply into your eyes. He sighed, a faint smile gracing his face, and brought your wrist to his lips, kissing each scar.

"You're very strong. You should give me some chances to be your savior, you know? How am I ever going to look cool for you?" he said after kissing the last scar, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes shined against the twilight.

You playfully tapped his head to shush him as you giggled.

He squeezed your hand once again.

"If you ever need to fight to survive again, I want you to rely on me. Is that okay for me to ask? I'll understand if you'd rather not have me all up in your business, though."

You shook your head and brought your hand to his cheek, smiling as he leaned against your touch.

"I'll be more than happy to have you with me in any moment of my life, whether I'm struggling or not, whether I'm sad or happy."

"This sounds a lot like a marriage vow, you know?" he smirked again and winked playfully.

"Oh, shut up." you patted his cheek and walked away, with him chuckling as he hurried after you.

Masterlist

[thewisaaaaad]

AWWW FUCK

In my sleep deprived state, I have created YET ANOTHER AU by smashing together several ideas in my head, along with being inspired by @kamodofilez bells of the dammed au. Sorry for pinging you, but CREDIT IS DUE.

When am I going to run out of these oh lamb

Anyways here's the au. I call it the Regretful Hunter AU, no idea if i am going to continue with this.

In this AU, neither the lamb nor Narinder really wanted to fight.

As soon as Narinder heard the new prophecy through Ratau, he knew exactly what would happen.

Five becomes nothing? He wasn't stupid. He was going to fall too, just like all his siblings.

Good. It was what he deserved. It was what he wanted.

Narinder did the fight because he was actually tired of being the god of death, saw that the lamb was way better at being god than any of his siblings were, and wanted to pass the mantle. Of course, due to pride and family trauma, they couldn't just hand it over, so he tried to goad the lamb into killing him. He... doesn't really consider how Aym and Baal would feel about it. He forgot they were people, honestly, until it was too late to care.

The lamb, meanwhile, was totally chill with dying. They felt that they were OK at playing leader, but was ready to hand over the reins to the god that gave them the opportunity to take revenge for their people.

They were fully ready to let go, and see their family again in the afterlife. After all that had happened, they were just. So. Tired.

However, fate has ways of getting what it wants- including puppeting its victims. The lamb was conscious the whole time as they were forced to fight the person that gave them everything they had ever wanted and slay his guardians. They were just glad that they didn't have to kill him.

Narinder was less than pleased with the mercy. When the guilt of what he had done set in, he ran away from the cult before the lamb could explain what happened.

He planned on going out, finding a nice cliff with some sharp rocks at the bottom, and ending it once and for all.

Turns out, ending your life by your own hands is a lot harder than he thought. It can be pretty scary, standing at the edge.

He blames his mortality, of course.

Lamb, meanwhile, goes into a depression induced stupor, the young god just going through the motions of running a cult. ???'s arrival makes it a little easier, by giving them a goal to work towards, but they never stop hoping to find Narinder again. They know hes not dead yet.

They would feel it.

Narinder continues to survive in the forest, hunting critters using plumbata, or throwing arrows, made from stolen arrows. He goes around, surviving while cursing his cowardice, until one day he wanders through Silkcradle, looking for spiders to hunt.

Instead, he finds a panda and a skunk in mortal danger. Before, he would have let them die, for obviously if they had wanted to live then they would not have come here, doubly so for the panda who could have just never come to the lands of the old faith at all.

But now? Now he understands the fear of the end. How it can creep up on you without knowledge of its presence, how a foolish decision can seem like the best one to make in the moment.

So he saves them. They, of course, ask for his name.

He does not give it. Instead, he gives them the location of paradise, where they will be safe. When asked why he does not go there himself, he answers that "I had lost my right to that place long ago."

When Jalala and Rinor arrive at the lambs cult, they tell the lamb of the kind stranger who saved them, the cat with three red eyes.

The lamb gets excited. He's still out there. And he wishes he could be here.

They just have to talk to him.

[olderthannetfic]

seeing the hatred and fake-claiming makes me... sad, for lack of a better word. I have been a system for a very, very long time; I had the first inklings of it in middleschool when I was so severely depressed and lonely and shrouded in feelings of worthlessness that my brain did literally whatever if could to let me survive. I didn't tell anybody, because i was solidly convinced it was JUST an overactive imagination, and i definitely couldn't be one of those ~sick~ people who ~REALLY~ had mpd. because my only real exposure to the idea had been fucked up jokes and horror movies, and i was an athiest at the time(so the more spiritual explanations didn't sound real to me), it seemed too far away to be possible. in highschool the mental dam broke. i got FLOODED with headmates after the idea of "it's not normal for your ~imaginary friends~ to act on their own and occasionally take control of your body for you" finally sunk in, and it was scary, and i STILL stayed silent on it outside of a very small friend group, because i was terrified - above all else - that i would be sent to the looney bin. because that's what you DID with mpd, right? even if it wasn't hurting anybody? because they're crazy? well, i've spent most of my adult life learning more about how different systems operate and how MINE operates, and I have to say.... it's the best thing that could have happened for my mental health. yes, it was scary. because of how we are TREATED by the media and the average person. yes, it is a little odd seeing youngsters be so open about it in such a celebratory way, because i don't understand how they aren't scared. but i am GLAD they aren't. my system is my family, moreso than the blood i share in meatspace, and they keep me safe and loved when everything is falling to pieces. and if that hasn't been your own experience, i am genuinely sorry that you're going through that, and i hope you can all learn to live together more peacefully as time passes. but fuck no i am not going to tell the kid with 18 sonics in their head that they're ~definitely faking~ just because they're fucking excited to share it. there are much worse characters to introject over and over again, and every introjection has its reasoning; even the shitty ones who makes your life harder. my early life was eaten up by my TRAUMA and my DEPRESSION, not the fucking headmates that helped me get through it. and i am so, so thankful that my therapist understands that, and i wish every system young and old that you be safe and in a good place to heal. and most of all, i hope if you're a system reading this - DID, OSDD, undiagnosed, reincarnation, whatever - that you don't believe the singlet bullshit that they push on us. full integration is not a realistic goal for most of us, and that is not just okay - for those who have learned to work together, it can be better that you'll never be one solid person. stay safe, stay loved, and keep your bitter comments to yourselves.

--

[awkwardandeccentric]

I wonder if the reason why Stolas is so blind to the class dynamic between him and Blitz is because he doesn’t feel like he benefits from it.

Work with me here. I’m not saying it’s true. I’m saying this may be how he feels.

You know those white people that say that they can’t have white privilege because they’re struggling to pay the rent? Maybe Stolas has a mindset something similar to that.

When you think royalty, you think strength and power. Stolas has neither. In terms of raw physical strength, Stolas is weaker among the Goetia. With his looks, he’s lanky and thin. “I’m so glad I don’t have to pretend to want to fuck his scrawny, twig ass.” (Stella I hate you so much). We know as the audience that it takes an insurmountable amount of strength to survive, umm, let’s see, let me check the list: missing mother, neglectful father, extreme isolation as a child, being a closeted gay man, an arranged marriage, marital rape, domestic violence, and being a teen father.

Yeah, I would have offed myself at number five.

But to Stolas, having to take SSRIs and having mental health issues is something he most likely is deeply ashamed of. Something he thinks of as a weakness.

In terms of power, he’s never had any power to control his own life. From the moment he was born, his destiny was written for him, no deviation allowed. “It is expected an oath by blood to hold the tome and the starlight passes overhead fuels all the skills I've honed. I am a guardian, a watcher of these ancient rites.” He has no power over who or when or if he commits himself to one person for the rest of his very, very long life. He has no power over Stella to make her stop abusing him. He has no power over his own brain to make him stop being suicidal.

In his mind, the idea that he benefits at all from his station is ludicrous. ‘Where is this privilege?’ He’s probably thinking to himself. ‘I don’t even get to choose who I marry, when I have children, what job I have, who I get to love, whether I make friends, how I can express my emotions, nothing. I choose nothing.’

And honestly? He’s not right…but he’s also not wrong.

There is something deeply fucked up about how the system has taken a cute, happy bird just excited to learn about his future on his birthday and chewed him up before spitting him out into a severely depressed alcoholic with C-PTSD and recovering from an assassination attempt.

It’s not that he doesn’t benefit from his status compared to other demons. He does. He has servants and can get an appointment for a hospital visit at any time and he’s welcome in any club he goes to and he’s never had to worry about whether he’ll have a roof over his head or food on the table. But compared to the standards set by the people around him? The idea is laughable. Offensive. Where is this privilege? He’s not seeing it.

And like the white people who claim that they can’t have white privilege because they struggle to pay the rent, we want to pull our hair out and scream because “holy shit how can you be this stupid?!”

But they have legitimate complaints about a system that chewed them up and spit them out. And so does Stolas.

[sageadvice]

[ Dragon Age: The Veilguard Spoilers ]

Well…I reached the end.

And I mostly survived.

Varric 😭

I’m not going to complain about the bits that I took issue with. It’s 3:30 am and I’m too emotional for objectivity.

I did all that work to get the Solavellan ending…and then I gave it all up to punch the egg man in the face. And I don’t regret it for a second. (Chalk it up to my Rook being a girl’s girl, I say.)

One day, I’ll reload and do the whole “secret ending” thing but my gosh, keeping Varric’s…what, spirit? Tethered between Solas and Rook through BLOOD MAGIC?? Even Merrill would not approve of this. I knew he was manipulating Rook. I thought I understood betrayal. But that…that really cemented his place as the villain in this story for me. Even to the last, he believed himself a god.

I lost Harding. That…really got to me. I sort of knew it would happen; her or Davrin, the game didn’t make some big secret of it. And, to be honest, the whole game had a lot of easily-predictable plot revelations, and I think that was one of its major strengths. You could always point out the traitor during the first conversation, and then feel that sense of “ha! I knew it.” If they’d tried too hard to subvert your expectations, it would have come across as poorly written.

I ended up being very glad that I got all the companions to Hero status, and all the factions to three stars, because that meant that I didn’t lose anyone else. It felt right, like I personally did put in those hours and make those careful choices to save those people, and they didn’t just get a free pass due to plot armor. It was all Rook.

And I did enjoy the end of Rook and Lucanis’ romance. To be honest, if that scene hadn’t been waiting for me after she got out of the veil prison, I would not have been able to keep playing. Was it enough? I think so, for Rook. I will be writing my own fanfiction embellishments though.

Scrolling back a bit, the moment in the game that first made me cry was Manfred waking up with magical powers and squealing with excitement. “Magic! Like you!” Instant waterworks. The depressing moments are never as meaningful to me as the shockingly touching ones, and Manfred embodied that sentiment wonderfully.

What else can I say? I loved it. 10/10 for me, especially after waiting 10 years. They honored Varric, and even if I’m still mad about it I guess it’s more than we got for any of our other past beloved NPCs. In my head, he’s hunting Hawke down in the Fade. One day, Cassandra will meet him there and they’ll be reborn as wisps who can dance around the Necropolis together. Emmrich will make sure they’re properly cared for.

[jenniferjareauwife]

can you write a jj x reader or Carina x reader based on the song Sara by we three and can you make the reader survive please

Sara

pairing: jennifer jareau x fem reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: depression, suicide attempt

word count: 816

summary: based on the song sara by we three

I took another drink while staring straight at the wall, my FBI issued gun sitting on the counter. JJ wasn't supposed to be home until later and I was alone in every sense. I was on my fourth drink of the night, just to keep my finger off the trigger.

I wasn't even phased when I heard JJ come through the door. I was so out of it that I probably should've jumped but I was so drunk and focused that nothing could pull me out of it. "Hey."

"Hm." I grunted.

"Whatcha drinking?"

"Whiskey."

"Oh." She set her bag down and walked towards me. She knew I only drank whiskey on bad nights. "What's wrong?" She took one whiff of my breath and her nose wrinkled. "How many drinks have you had?"

"Four."

"Still level headed." She said quietly.

"Mm." I leaned back against the couch, taking another sip before she took the glass out of my hands.

"Seriously. What's wrong."

"Nothing."

"If it were nothing you wouldn't be drinking like this-"

"I'm fine-"

"You're not-"

"Just stop." I felt a single tear roll down my cheek but I couldn't bring myself to wipe it away so she did. "Nothing numbs it anymore." I whispered weakly. I saw her freeze out of the corner of my eye once she saw my gun. I usually kept it locked in my nightstand so keeping it down here was unusual.

"I'm gonna go upstairs, ok? I'll be right back." She grabbed my gun and I took in a sharp breath, I didn't really care anymore. I wasn't gonna pull the trigger while she was here, I wouldn't do that to her.

Once she came back downstairs she curled up on the couch next to me, wrapping her arms around my torso and resting her head on my shoulder. "I love you." She kissed my jaw once and then fell asleep.

Two weeks later I was sitting on the floor of our bathroom, my knees pulled up to my chest. JJ wasn't home again, she almost never was anymore. I knew she would come if I called but she didn't need to be burdened with this. She didn't need to be burdened by me anymore, it's not fair for her to have to put up with me everyday and constantly worry about me just because I can't handle my fucking emotions and my stupid brain.

I grabbed a notepad and wrote down a letter to JJ. I should at least leave her that. Then I took a razor and slit my wrists. It was the easiest decision I had ever made and that didn't even scare me until my vision was blurring and went black.

I woke up in a hospital bed, two warm hands gripping one of mine. The lights were almost blinding as I slowly opened them. "Hey." I turned my head to the side slightly and saw the most beautiful woman ever. JJ. I smiled softly.

"Hi...why am I here?"

"I found you...in our bathroom." She didn't say anything else. I saw her tear up and I wanted nothing more than to wipe her tears away but she didn't let me let go of her hand. "Don't...don't I need this." A few tears fell down her cheeks. "I thought I lost you!"

"I'm-"

"I don't want to hear apologies, ok? Don't apologize for how you feel. Don't ever do that."

"But I-"

"Do you regret it?"

"Um...yeah. Now I do. But I didn't...I didn't when I did it and...I didn't even feel bad. It only took me a second to make the decision and that's..."

"Scary?"

"Yeah that's so scary now that I'm thinking about it." My voice broke as I tried to hold back tears. "I-I'm sorry."

"Shh. I already told you, no apologies-"

"But I-"

"No baby. No apologies." She squeezed my hand before bringing it to her lips for a soft kiss. "It's ok."

"I didn't want to hurt you." She frowned but nodded.

"I'm glad you woke up. You have no idea how happy I am right now."

"You're happy?"

"Of course I'm happy. You survived. I've never been happier than this, I thought I was going to lose you and I didn't." She held my hand tighter. "I didn't lose you." Her voice cracked. "I don't know what I would've done if I had lost you." A few more tears rolled down her cheeks and I wiped them away this time. "I love you so much, I just want you to be alright. I'm willing to do anything to make that the case, ok?" I nodded and bit my lip to keep myself from sobbing. "I love you so much. Please don't leave me."

"I won't." I sniffled. "I'm so sorry, I won't."

"I'm so glad to have you back."

"I love you JJ. I love you."

"I love you too."

[allykakamatsu]

Playing XC2 if you played Torna first is a very different experience

Aka, a rough list of all my reactions to things that I shouldn't of reacted to on a first run cause I played Torna first-

(Note, I played both games for the first time years ago, this is just a recreation of my reactions.)

(Chapter 1) Aww Azurda has new adopted human and this one calls him Gramps that's adorable!

meeting new Torna for the first time Aww it's a cute Gormotti girl-! Why is Malos here-?! JIN WHY ARE YOU WITH MALOS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!

Okay so Malos has a blade now, checks out given that his core is probably wrecked after what Mythra did to him but I guess Aegis's can be Drivers now.

JIN WHY DID YOU STAB A CHILD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?!

Oh, so Pyra is Mythra's new self. She seems sweet but I want my sassy girl back.

(Chapter 2) Yay Gormott! Glad to see it's not burned to the ground anymore.

If I had a nickel for every time Brighid attacked us thinking we were criminals I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's funny it happened twice.

Why isn't Pyra's fire affected by the water- oh is it cause of Mythra?

Oh, so Mórag is Brighid's new driver. Should've figured that out sooner but they're a cool looking pair. Wonder where Aegeon is though.

(Chapter 3) Hey Cole's scar kinda reminds me of Minoth, wonder what happened to him.

In between my tears over what just happened MYTHRA'S BACK FUCK YEAH!!!

(Chapter 4) Addam why the hell are you wearing a cloak you weren't wearing it in that scene.

MYTHRA I GET THAT YOU'RE UPSET AND PROBABLY STILL DEPRESSED OVER MILTON I AM TOO BUT I'M SORRY!!!

Wait.... COLE WAS MINOTH?!?! Jeez man what happened? I know you said you were a failed Flesh Eater but I didn't realise that meant this...

Also Minoth man, I love you but I think old age has made you senile why the hell are you sending us to Amalthus?

get's control of Mythra YES!! And omg her specials are her old arts that's adorable!!

Oh so this is the 'Evil Tifa' I've heard people joke about- wait.... MIKHAIL?!?! MY SON?! Okay this means you survived whatever the hell Amalthus did that's good, but it's been 500 years how are you still alive regardless? Also he's evil now which is bad but at least he's with his dad Jin.

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FIGHT MY SON GAME?!?!?!

Okay upside, Brighid's back at least and yup she's still awesome. And her specials are her old arts too that's still adorable.

Haze my babygirl you're back-! Wait, Fan la Norne? I'm with Mythra on this one when did that happen? And why is half of your core gone?

(More under cut)

(Chapter 5) Okay yeah I'm doubly with Mythra something happened to Haze and I am concerned.

Okay I can see why Addam picked this place for the Tornan refugees this place is beautiful.

Wait, Zeke's the Prince of where? I have not heard of Tantal before, is it new or am I forgetting something? (it was in-fact, relatively new)

in the same tone of 'Dinkleberg' Amalthus..... I can't prove it yet but you're the one behind Haze's missing core aren't you?

YES!! REX!! AMALTHUS WAS MALOS'S DRIVER DON'T TRUST HIM!!

Jin, I again ask what the hell happened to you?

Empty Moment- OH GOD THAT'S HIS LEVEL 4 I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT FELT LIKE AAGGHH!!

Jin what are you doing- HAZE NO!!! JIN I KNOW HAZE HATED AMALTHUS AND HE PROBABLY DID SOMETHING TO HER BUT WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!

after I'm finished crying Oh, hey Aegeon, was wondering when you'd show up. And that's the Emperor of Mor Ardain? Aww, he looks like an even more baby Hugo-! Wait... Hugo.... oh no.

(Chapter 6) Niall what are you doing no no no-! NOT AGAIN!!!

Okay, Nia, thank you for stopping history from repeating itself.

The Tantalese are descendent from Addam, that can't be right Addam went to Leftheria-! Zettar started this, didn't he?

No tier lists I don't care if Aegeon sucks I'm gonna use him anyway because I am biased.

'Cadet Branch of the Royal Family' Yup, Zeke is descendant from Zettar, RIP my man having to be in the same bloodline as him.

GAME WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME FIGHT MY SON AGAIN-!! WHY DOES MIKHAIL HAVE A CORE CRYSTAL?!?!

Pyra Mythra no no no you two aren't just made to destroy don't go with them no no NO!!!

(Chapter 7) Ah, so this is where Addam hid the third sword. 5 minutes of gameplay later I can see why he hid it down here, this place would drive anyone mad.

Is this what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Addam's talent art? Cause all these reinforcements have to be equivalent to being perma toppled and launched with how long this takes.

Addam drop the hood already.

Malos you fucking bastard when I get my hands on you....!! Jin you can stay but you're on think fucking ice pardon the pun.

YES!! REX GIVE THOSE GIRLS THERAPY THEY NEED IT!!!

(Chapter 8) You know, I'm pretty sure most people picked Pyra here calls Pneuma Mythra but I am not most people

YAY!! I can play as Jin again! And he is somehow even more overpowered than before!

Jin why are you lying to Brighid, she's more mature but she's otherwise the same.

Jin... ate.... oh... I should've.... figured but.... oh god.... I just thought loosing Lora messed him up but having to eat.... yeah between that and Amalthus no wonder he's like this.

Torna......

Aww, nice Jin's still in there, he let us go and told Brighid the truth.

(Rest of the game cause I love it but I forget the chapter markers) So.... um.... Jin I'm glad you were able to find love again after Lora but why did it have to be Malos? Like this is weirdly sweet but this is a weird progression.

AMALTHUS I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MESSED WITH HAZE MALOS YOU ARE OFFICIALLY PRIORITY 2 THIS BASTARD DIES FIRST!!

Okay that's how Mikhail survived this long so I guess Amalthus was good for one thing.

No no no no no no no- MIKHAIL!!!!! Why.....?!?- Oh god they're showing the scene where he met Lora and Jin again GAME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!

Okay I wanted to help Jin and stop Amalthus anyway but now I'm doing it for my baby boy.

Don't worry Jin I've got your back. THIS IS FOR LORA HAZE MIKHAIL AND EVERYONE ELSE YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

...... J... Jin...... chapter 9 is living up to it's name because I was a rainstorm of tears after this

Malos for Jin's sake I don't want to kill you anymore can you please stop- damn it!!

Never thought I'd be sad to see Malos go but, here we are.

Pyra, Mythra, what are you- no no no no NO!! POPPI I KNOW YOU'RE KEEPING YOUR PROMISE AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE BUT LET ME GO I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!!!!

bawling crying until the two come back and the tears become happy tears Heh... thank god....