#i dont think ive ever really given myself credit for that
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a-little-bit-poss · 9 months ago
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danileepearce · 3 months ago
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I share a plex server with some friends over where I live now and sometime ago someone requested and added Welcome To The NHK to the list of available shows on it. About a week ago i started to work my way through watching it and just tonight I finally finished it. I didn't really think to expect much from it, but it ended up a show, a world, a set of characters that im really glad i ended up spending my nights with.
Firstly, the show for a good handful of its duration is absolutely laugh out loud funny. I now understand in that way why it seems to have been at least a minor sensation in some corners of late 00s internet(i don't know exactly of the reach it had, but it was probably big). so many easily quotable/jokeable/memeable moments throughout, such a hilarious dissection of otaku culture and also really just like, early 20s life. satou is the most 22 years old any human being has ever been in their entire lives.
the show genuinely takes its sweet time really kind of slowly inching its true message on you; it front-loads itself heavily with its comedy and its stories about satou and yamazaki being complete ridiculous dumbasses over several episodes, with every episode ending with that insane ABABA BABA BA ODORU AKACHAN NINGEN song which, the lyrics are so well written and so relatable for 2006…i was only 11 when this first aired! ********************************************************************* [[MAJOR SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT, DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT THEM, ALSO CONTENT WARNING FOR SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER]] *********************************************************************
but then you get to that point in the series where satou becomes This Close to committing suicide. its played off in a somewhat over-dramatic way and even that has humorous undertones to it, but the first true colors of the heart behind the show really begin to introduce themselves in a very visible way after that point. the end credits song changes to something a lot more grounded, and little by little from then on, the humor kind of falls away, the characters satou had to bounce off of in these ways depart from the main plot altogether (but they give satou and yamazaki that one last "snowball fight" lmao. how did those two never kiss) until its just him and misaki. i actually was stunned at how totally transformed the tone had become by the last few episodes.
When I finally got to the end, it was one of those endings….one of those resolutions….where i just kind of ended up going out for a night walk at 2 am, walking for almost an hour listening to music, and then sitting out on a lounge chair on my driveway staring up at the stars and just thinking.
The big lore reveal for misaki around the climax of the story made me realise just how much i had in common with her. Basically ever since i first became homeless, and honestly some time before that, I feel like i've basically just always dedicated myself to helping others as best as i can. i used to be pretty bad at it, but i was dedicated enough to making this a fundamental part of who i was it that it became a skill within myself i refined like a sharp blade over the years. i gave myself up to ppl completely, in more ways than one, often just to have a place to stay. to this day, i feel like i give so much to my friends. i try to give so much to whatever community i find myself in. because i think i too share a compulsion to give others the love and the kindness that i was never given when i most needed it. like misaki. i also have worried pretty heavily about if my usefulness would last to the people around me. ive also hinged my entire life purpose on that.
i dont think i have as tragic of a backstory as misaki's is framed to be, but my family life was in many ways as equally fractured as hers. my mom didn't kill herself, but it feels like she might as well have. she always seemed like there once was a human being there that just became completely consumed with hate, with christofascism, with this desire to have me constantly hurt and beaten by not just her but by just about every adult figure that graced my life for many years. my dad was just simply not present, and was consumed by this complete inability to ever have the relationship with me that i so badly needed from him growing up. at times he was an equal participant in the abuse. and additionally at times he was actually scarier and a lot more energetically violent. when satou is on the island and raises his voice and fist to misaki, her reaction was something i felt very deeply. it especially hit with the lore reveal.
additionally, i related to satou in a number of ways too. up until this year i had spent the last 9 years essentially living in this very open-wound self-exploitative way where i essentially kept no secrets and no part of me concealed from people until this spring, around my 29th birthday, and at some point in the following summer, everything just Slammed Shut on my fingers from the inside and has not reopened. i feel like ive radically transformed into being a much more private person. i hardly post anywhere on social media anymore and most times i just outright avoid it. ive unfollowed/disconnected from a lot of the ppl i knew in that time period. ive struggled lately with a very deep fear of the world and of nearly everybody in it, since many of the people i met after escaping home were also people that hurt me in pretty profound ways, both on and offline. i spend a lot of time just in my house, which i try to maintain as low of stimuli within as i can. sometimes i just lie down and i listen to music and get lost in a very deep currant of my own thoughts. sometimes i just spiral. i was spiraling pretty heavily over this last week especially. feeling like the world and everyone in it wants nothing to do but just hurt me. like ITS ALL A CONSPIRACY (OF COURSE! WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE THIS BEFORE!)to keep me always suffering and in pain.
And, like both characters, i have wanted to kill myself. many times over many years. sometimes for extremely silly and impulsive reasons like satou, sometimes for reasons based out of very real deep-seated trauma, fear, and a sense of never-ending heartbreak like misaki. the way she fixates on death and suicide leading up to her own attempts is something i've done more times than i can count. anyone who has known me for any length of time has learned this about me at some point. my most recent plan to do so was made at the end of july this year. its funny in that way how satou catches misaki before she falls, and how satou is caught by the chain link (lol) and misaki then helps him back onto the cliff. that to me very much analogues my friends catching me and me catching myself. maybe im also that chain link; where even in my most brazen and my most far-flung from a grounded feeling that a hard wall will always stop me short from going through with it. who knows!
and i mean, maybe a hikkikimori partially/subliminally fits my description as of present, but maybe without the negative connotations that seem to associate with that term. ive mostly become a lot more hermetic out of necessity. I've Lived So Much Life and a lot of life that no one should ever have to live, and i've finally arrived at a place of stability and support where i can finally just Withdraw from it all. i can live with a quietness and a control over my environment that i've essentially always longed for. i guess that ive lived the reverse life of satou; he seems very comically dedicated to Always Being A Hikkikimori and yet he ends up doing a lot of Living over the course of the series! and in the end it results in him kind of resurfacing properly into the world. thats what the series portrays as a happy ending but i'd like to think that my "reversed" version of that has a happy ending to it in itself. i can finally live how i feel i deserve to. i can finally find and feel my own happiness in the withdrawal from so many elements in my life that were hurting me, burning me, bruising me very terribly.
id like to think also that our overall attitudes towards ppl who quote-on-quote Don't Contribute To Society have vastly improved since 2006; on a few occasions the series seemed very mean spirited in a way that hasn't aged well. The brief focus on kobayashi's brother i thought was really touching though; seemed like a more sympathetic look at complete reclusiveness even though he too has another "happy ending" type resolution. some ppl are just most comfortable shut off and isolated from most things in the world, especially in a covid age.
but anyway, i really like that the way satou and misaki dedicate themselves to self preservation is a(nother) contract that basically binds them them both to stay alive together. neither one of them wants the other to die, so either they both have to or neither of them do. that's really cute and sweet. i think i would get a lot out of having that kind of agreement with someone. like really, the way that this series extrapolates upon what it means to live, what it means to keep going, is done in a way that is surprisingly very well handled and very affecting to someone like me. and i definitely am sure that im not alone in that. these subjects were always the series' secret weapon, they were always the CONSPIRACY. the series just wants us all to live, to take care of ourselves through everything as much as we can.
in all of this, im reminded of a memory of someone who long ago i used to talk to and message every day as an excited 16 year old who barely knew how to be an actual person and was only really just learning how to interact with people online. if memory serves, Welcome To The NHK was a series that was very close and dear to her at that time. i hope she's doing ok.
but yeah. i guess in its own strange way NHK has become one of my unexpectedly favorite anime of all time, something that is no secret to anyone who has reached this same sentiment about it. It was something that found me at the perfect place at the perfect time. i get it now. i feel like i now get so much. a lot of this feels written very messily and disorganized and complicated in my thinking and wording, but if you made it this far, thank you for reading. its been a minute since i felt this inspired to just write
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telestotelezzz · 8 months ago
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You want a long anonymous message? I can cook one up!!
I genuinely think you’re one of the most kind people i’ve ever met. You deserve so much more credit than you give yourself. You’re like the best friend I never had, if that even makes sense to say? You’re fun to talk to, this sounds incredibly and embarrassingly sappy but you’re one of the few people that i feel 100% comfortable talking to. You give off this vibe of comfort without judgement like I can talk as myself and not have to worry about being too talkative or bothersome and, of course, you still have human emotions and you’re allowed to feel those things but there’s not a lot of people i feel so able to freely talk about my interests with and stuff.
I got off-topic I think, oops— Let me add, you’re a very funny person. I genuinely adore your sense of humor. I think i might’ve subconsciously picked up some of it? Sometimes i say something or I See something I think is funny and I think, “Sounds like something Lucifer would say.” I would talk to you way more often if I wasn’t so shit at starting and ending conversations, sadly ;;
I know sometimes you do feel your lows, and I just wanna say, I care about you. Words don’t do a lot, there’s no magical cure for feelings, but please try to keep in mind that even when you’re at your lowest there are people who Care about you. and love you even! Love you for your artwork, your writing, your humor, your interests, your personality, your kindness, you. And the way you inspire people and make people happy and are a fucking amazing friend. Out of this world. Like a world future star!
Sorry if this long of a message feels weird,, Near the end I’ve kinda given up on trying to hide most of my typing style because you’re most likely gonna know who this was anyway— unless I did a good job of being anonymous? That’d be surprising I think. Anyway, you’re wonderful, Lucifer, everything that you are.
i have no clue who yoiu are because i am Terrible at recognizing typing styles unless its super distinct ....... you have kept your anonymity do not fret
i actually read this last night and started like. tearing up???which is why i didnt respond as soon as i saw this ask + i wanted to be on a computer to type like a real response. Not that i know how to give much of one because i am rendered Speechless
this is maybe the nicest message ive ever gotten and the nicest thibgs ive ever been told and it means a Lot to me and its crazy to think that you spent time typing it and you mean it and ???!?!??!kind of silly because its some Message on the internet but i think im going to think back to this a lot when im sad and know that i can hold on for a little longer because there is in fact someone who cares about me. im so glad i can be a good friend to you adn that you feel comfortable around me thats really what i strive to be i just want to be a nice person who helps people and makes em feel Happy (❁´◡`❁)
thank you so much idk who you are (except that we're friends which just makes me want to go and give you a hug even though I CANT why dont computer let me reach through the screen) but i really needed this message i think and it means A Lot to me :)))) (this is probably not everything i will want to say and ill absolutely go and kick myself because i didnt think of something i wanted to say and you cant edit tumblr posts like you could in the Olden Days)
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strawberryspeachy · 1 year ago
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I’m really homesick. Its compounded by grief for my mom.
I find myself in another shitty situation. I don’t want to go back the the US because i have no home. I have no job. I have no boyfriend.
I miss my friends and american stuff but i cant afford to live back home
Moreso before I didnt want to watch my mom get worse. Id planned to go back after i took a break. It was so exhausting being the only one trying to keep her there. Cleaning the house. Moving from home and just trying to exist. Im miserable and suicidal and i wanted a break. From being a caretaker and from my psycho family
Then i got here and i didnt get a break. Japan is stupidly hard to live in and then corona ruined my plans. I wanted to feel like i really experienced japan. I wanted to feel accomplished in my job over here. I didnt realize how bad the job i signed up to do was.
Before i could even get a feeling of accomplishment my mom died.
I dont want to live back home without her. What do i do when i go places where i went with here. See things without her. Eat with out her. Plan without her.
She was never in japan and i still cant look a garfeild or snoopy without feeling pain
I cant survive back home without her
But japan sucks. I have no friends. No one wants to be in a relationship with me. Im constantly treated like shit for being a non white woman
Im sick of having gross old men harass me every second of every day
Im sick of women slamming into me and jumping on me and either pretending im not physically in a place and trying to run through me or taking me as a threat and throwing their body into me
Im sick of getting paid less and having my work being credited by others. Of being told that im not qualified or good enough for jobs theyd give a slob who cant even write their own name
Im sick of having to argue with shitty ppl to get checked at the doctor, my phone number or internet in order, to live in a place
Im sick of no insulation and high costs for energy
Im sick of high taxes that dont benefit me
Im sick of construction work ruining my only free time
Im sick of ppl squishing together on public transport
Of robotic ppl who dont care about anyone
Of police harassing me
Im so tired of it. Im home sick. I want halloween. I want normal chit chat when i go to a store. I want to walk in a straight line without ppl running me down. I want american food. I want to be in my car
Im homesick. Im legitimately home sick
But im homesick for a place that literally doesnt exist. My house is gone. My pets are gone. Most importantly my mom is gone. I want my mom. Shes not there. I want to go home. It doesn’t exist
I don’t know what to do with myself
The choice isn’t even rlly mine. Ive pissed off 5 companies by calling them out, calling them out, making them follow the law, making them follow the law, calling them out
And now the newest one is the worst yet. I hate them. I dont want to work as an assistant anymore. I dont wana to work with these horrible dispatches and all the schools want men or white women. Im so angry watching ppl who cant do their jobs be easily given them and kept.
Im tired of fighting. And I don’t think its gonna get my anywhere. I dont want to go back the the states and fall apart… i want to just die
I dont even have my psudomom anymore. She had a stroke and is on the path my mom took…my home away from home didnt a viable option anymore either
Im so miserable
Also to top it off. This school the one where i have the best admin life of any school ever. Its the first school where the students don’t rlly like me. Which sucks. Other schools ive wished i could be more involved with the students homeroom and clubs and trips - now i could. But this student body didnt take to me as well as all the other schools students so even though i can be involved i dont get involved.
I wish i were dead. I hate my life.
I miss my mom
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skiasurveys · 2 years ago
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Do you have the right time set on your microwave?: yes but its always 2 minutes ahead or behind, no matter how many times i change it
Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why?: only from memories.
Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box?: flat
Do you have a radar detector for your car?: nope
Have you ever been arrested? For what?: no haha
Do you know how to change the oil in your car?: i feel like I could figure it out...but no
Have you taken your shower yet?: yes i did an hour ago
Do you like Tootsie Rolls?: nope. i never did
Do you have a printer? What kind?: Canon Pixma
Are you seeing anybody currently?: No :(
Do you or have you ever smoked cigarettes?: noooo
Do you like it when it snows?: i HATE snow. It snows usually from nov-march fml.
Are your ears pierced?: no but ive been meaning to get them done again
Where do you do most of your shopping?: amazon
Who do you live with?: mom and sister
What is your most expensive bill?: credit card
Do you have a big yard?: somewhat
Do you live in the country or the city?: City.
Do you sleep alone or with someone every night?: alone
Did you have a treehouse as a child?: yes! my dad made one for me and my sister
At what age did you obtain your driver license?: when i was 20
Do you look in the newspaper for coupons?: no i only ever get coupons from the mail if they send them but i hardly look at the newspaper
Did you get a big tax refund from last year?: not rly
Do you like Slim Jim’s?: never had
Is there someone you would love to punch right now?: not rly
Did you grow up fast?: yeah i had too :(
What are you favorite kind of chips?: ketchup
Have you taken any medicine recently? For what?: I took my zoloft today, and will take my sleeping pills soon
What have you eaten today?: I had an egg wrap for breakfast, some scalloped potatoes for luch and left overs for dinner.
Did you or are you going to wash your hair today?: tomorrow
Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm?: No
Where did you go today?: No where. I hardly leave the house since I work from home
Are you sleepy right now?: not yet
What color is your mousepad?: white
Should you be doing something else at the moment?: no
Do you like your neighbors?: theyre nice, but i dont talk to them rly
Do you have bedroom shoes?: do u mean..slippers?? nope
Do you get your eyebrows waxed?: I used too but now I just use a wax thing on myself
Has anyone given you flowers recently?: yes! My friend Ren gave me some <3
Do you work Monday thru Friday?: Monday-Wednesday. Thursday off, and friday I only have class in the am.
Is there anything you are looking forward to tomorrow?: Nah. Just working :(
How many miles does your car have on it?: -- Noooo idea, I forget.
Is your alarm clock set to radio or beep?: i only use my iphone
Do you like to go fishing?: Never been
Has anyone you know been arrested recently?: I don’t think so.
Do you have more than 1 email address?: I have SOOOO many
Do you think you will have the same job 2 years from now?: -- i better lol
Do you have central heating and air?: Yes.
Do you speed while driving?: -- not intentionally
Is there someplace you would rather be right now?: i think La would be cool
Did you build the computer you are using?: nope
Do you have good computer speakers?: sure.
Are you waiting on anything at the moment?: nah
Where is your favorite person?: i dont have one..anymore
Do you keep track of your debit purchases?: not really, I usually check my bank statement on my phone or check my balance to see if anything looks wrong or off.
Do you ever shop at Harris Teeter? never heard of that
Do you like to burn incense?: I used too
Are there any plants in your house?: a few!
How long does it take you to get to work?: I work from home
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snoewolf · 4 years ago
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Im not good at blogging.
I always assume its not worth posting and just dont do it.
Ive been pretty depressed lately. Bae has been amazing and trying to help me through it.. but sometimes.. theres nothing even he can do to make me feel better.
My birthday came and went, its always hard for me the week of my birthday ever since my exhusband served me divorce and child custody papers on said birthday. Its been a couple years, and nothing bad has happened since then.. but it still haunts me.. like im waiting on the next shoe to drop or something.
I keep catching myself treating Bae really bad even when he doesnt do anything to deserve it. He is amazing to me, and does everything for me literally treating me like a Queen. He loves my children like his own and actually interacts with them.. what more could i ask for? But when i get into these depths.. i feel myself treating him unfairly based on what happened to me in my previous relationship. He handles it well, but i know hes just as tired of it as I am.
Still no further on getting my child support from my ex.. which really sucks. I ended up having to drop out of school. They offered for me to go back in a few months.. but theres no way im going to be able to afford it. Im already working double to try to make up for how behind on my bills its made me since i started the program. This saddens me, but im trying to think of it positively.. i wasnt really happy once i was in the program and saw how hospital employees are treated... and treat each other.
My current job is amazing and works with my schedule when possible and i am so thankful for the opportunity. But. It doesnt pay very well for the amount of time im away from my kids to do said work. (How does america expect a single parent to live on $9/hr without any kind of help?!) I cant even afford rent, let along car/phone/electricity/gas/ whatever else comes with renting. My credit isnt good enough to buy anything not to mention wouldnt be approved simply for how many cobwebs are in my bank account.
SO ive been looking for a second job, or a better paying job. I found a second job that pays better.. and offers health insurance! Ive been looking for months and finally got a call for an interview. It happened to be on my day off. How great is that?! So of course i went, theyre paying amazingly! I got there and along with 4 other people, they start showing us around. I thought that was weird.. ive had interviews with this company before and never was shown around the whole place.. but i just accepted it because ive never had an interview with this specific location. We go to the back and im ready for the interview! They start handing us company vests and work tools... im a little confused until they had out schedules. I got the job! Wait... this isnt an interview.. this is orientation! Oh snap! What am i suppose to tell my current job?! Luckily my current job hadnt put out the next weeks schedule yet so i was able to alert my manager as soon as i got out of the building.
Unfortunately, she was not happy. Granted, had it been up to me.. i would have much rathered given a heafty warning.. i dont like to leave any job on bad terms (and so far havent 🤞🏻) so i let my manager know im being trained for this second job for the next two weeks and i cant mess with those days but it doesnt effect my current job at all this week.. which is all i have a schedule for.. she doesnt think she should have to work around another jobs schedule when i worked here first.. i agree.. but.. in my shoes.. this other job is a better opportunity for -me-, for -my- bills for -my- family. So she told me she fixed it for the next two weeks but wasnt happy about it.
Sooooo.
Im now working the next 14 days straight and even at two jobs in the same day.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ im gonna hate myself for sure. But! My daughters birthday is next week and i need to buy her more than the only gift i currently have for her. And Christmas is right around the corner! I need to catch up my car payment and keep my phone bill current and not late... not to mention gymnastics/dance/and boyscouts that i dont want to take away from my kids because its not their fault im poor.
So luckily today hasnt been too awkward at my job but i did tell Bae that depending on how petty they decide to be over the next two weeks depends on if i keep 2 jobs or focus solely on the new one that pays so much better. So. We'll see. Id like to have both at least until Christmas so i can get some presents under my tree.
I guess thats as good of an update as i got currently. Whoopwhoop.
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meruz · 4 years ago
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some asks - sorry some of these are kind of old. I only get around to answering stuff once in a blue moon.
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I do not! Nothing against it but I just don’t personally enjoy the process so I don’t use it in my personal work. Too much transforming and filtering.. too little actual drawing. I have however used it for professional work and sometimes I will sketch things individually and collage them together to make it easier for me to work depending on the scale. But yeah, no photobashing normally.
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Thank you! (post in reference) I didn’t use any perspective grids for that drawing but occasionally for bigger pieces that require a stronger adherence to perspective I’ll use the Perspective Tools extension by Sergey Kritsky which is ABSOULTELY worth the price here on gumroad if you’re a photoshop-user - makes grids very easy to set up. You can actually see some of the grids in my process work if you’re looking for it lol
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I used to be such a square abt it like “bluh perspective is just a bunch of lines i dont need a tool to do it for me like a DUMB BABY. I can just draw the grids myself and itll be good enough!!! :\” dont be like that LOL, I started using perspective tools for work last year and ported it over to my personal work so damn fast its like one of the best artistic decisions ive made. If you can make less work for yourself, PLEASE make less work for yourself.
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I don’t remember what post this is but I’m like 90% its these brushes because these are like all the brushes I use LOL
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hi yes thank you i LOVE grookey.
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Thank you! They’re the best family!! KAROL IS MY FAVE........
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you’re SO welcome. I recently watched Last Evolution Kizuna and [spoiler] WILLIS WAS IN ONE (1) SHOT...  [/spoiler] so whoever was in my comments section telling me toei would never bring willis back, I think you owe me like $20
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Yep! My Instagram, Twitter... I don’t have a patreon because I’m too lazy to set up tiers but I have a ko-fi if you want to drop a lil tip in my metaphorical buskers hat
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You’re probably done by the game by now given how old this ask is but I’m flattered my art got you to play!! And I’m glad you love Akechi though I’m curious to know if your feelings on him have changed since sending this LOL. His latter act character stuff is one of those things that can really turn an opinion one way or another.
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Thank you! Though I want to preface this by saying I don’t take requests but you can always contact me for commissions at [email protected].
I will probably draw naruto again because like every 4 years of my life I go through a naruto phase. I have drawn dangan ronpa before many many years ago and I gotta say the only time I will ever draw it again will be if I’m commissioned to lol...Nothing against it personally, it’s just not really my thing. Kiritetsu+Colossus.... I would but honestly I don’t even know what I’d draw, I feel like I covered it with that one drawing. But if you’ve got an idea... you can always commission me!!! And I’d be happy to.
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Uhhhh they’re good! I like them! Yusuke’s character arc is maybe like my favorite or second favorite in the game and I love Ryuji first and foremost for max mittlemans voice acting and secondly because he is just so...so much better than P4 Yosuke who I truly could not stand.
I’m not big on Mishima but I think he’s an incredibly well written depiction of like. that dude in class who you didn’t really mean to talk to but ended up talking to and now its a little weird. I really like that event where you run into shinya while hanging out with mishima and shinyas like “whos this your friend” and ren is like “no, king, hes no one” LOL this is mostly because I just really like shinya. 
ships.... I like yusuke/ryuji a lot, just aesthetically and personality wise its an interesting dynamic. I like ryuji/ann bc theyre good friends. I like ann/yusuke if I close my eyes to all the early plot stuff and just pretend theyre like.....fujiko and goemon from lupin III LMAO. ryuji/makoto? kinda woke?? I mean I feel lesbian makoto deep in my bones but also their showtime opened my eyes a lil. I think they could bond over action movies. mishima/protag is kind of fun in like a sad pathetic way.. I’m a little interested in mishima/JOKER actually bc i like identity porn plotlines lol.
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YEP GO AHEAD I’ve been getting a lot of messages like this lately so I want to lay it out here and I’ll probably copy paste it into a FAQ later lol.
8Tracks and Spotify Playlists: Go ahead! please credit me either meruz.tumblr.com twitter@automeru or ig@automeruz -  AND SEND ME THE PLAYLIST this is not a requirement really but I would love to listen to it.
Twitter/Tumblr Layouts/Headers: Good by me! but again PLEASE credit me somewhere VISIBLE on the layout. If it’s a twitter header/icon credit my twitter @automeru and if its tumblr credit my tumblr @meruz​
Phone BGs, Desktop Wallpapers: definitely ok!! Any personal and non-commercial use of this nature, I’m cool with. If you ask me, I may even send you a hi-res version of the file but you have to promise to not scam me and sell it lol...
Instagram Reposts: A lot of artists would say no but I’m gonna say go ahead as long as you credit and tag me in the post, again my ig is @automeruz - if you don’t, and I find it, I will bug you about it in the comments and possibly even report you. Nothing personal, its just standard procedure.
Twitter/Tumblr Re-posts: Don’t?? Just RT or RB it from me?? whats wrong with you? I will report this.
Other site re-posts: I’ll probably say yes but again please credit and for this one PLEASE ask me first. It’s nothing personal really, I just want to know where my work shows up.
Video edits/fancams/comic dubs: Yes! Absolutely go ahead! And please send me a link I especially love to see this stuff!!
I also reserve all rights have you take it down if I do not agree with the usage or context, especially association with politics on the webpage/app/etc. 
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Thank you!!!!!!!! ;-; These are all so nice.. tucks them into a little pocket near my heart. I love drawing and I will keep trying my best to make art...! Hope you guys can look forward to it...!
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themeed · 4 years ago
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damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.
im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.
and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.
and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.
anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.
and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.
not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.
once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.
it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.
they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.
we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...
are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.
and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.
so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.
not throw insults or punches or hatred.
what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.
but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.
these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.
Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...
i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.
because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.
i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.
depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.
i. i might do this. legitimately.
i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.
i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.
anyway. yeah. wow.
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letstalksymphogear · 6 years ago
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Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)
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“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”
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“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”
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Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.
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“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”
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“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”
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“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”
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“i just hope miku’s okay...”
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“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”
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“please stop breathing”
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Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS
XYLOPHONE RIFF
THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT
XYLOPHONE RIFF
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“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”
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“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”
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“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”
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“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”
In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.
> Tsubasa has joined the party.
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“FRIENDSHIP!”
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“fweindship.”
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“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”
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“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”
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“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”
Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.
Meanwhile, at night.
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Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.
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“.........................hey miku......”
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“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”
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“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”
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“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”
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“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”
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They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.
Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...
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Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.
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“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”
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“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”
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“wait, whats that crying”
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Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.
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“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”
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Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.
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But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.
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The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.
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“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”
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Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.
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“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”
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The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.
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Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...
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...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.
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“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”
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“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”
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“maybe we’re born with it”
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“maybe its maybeline”
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“maybeline...”
Meanwhile...
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A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)
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“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”
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“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”
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“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”
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“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”
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“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”
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“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”
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“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”
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Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.
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No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.
In the midst of this pain...
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Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.
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“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”
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“damn. that’s some good piss.”
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She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?
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Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...
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Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.
Back to Lydian:
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“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”
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“B. A. D.”
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“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”
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“yeah. you are.”
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“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”
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“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”
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“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”
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“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”
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Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.
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“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”
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The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.
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Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.
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PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.
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“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”
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“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”
They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...
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“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”
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“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”
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“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”
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It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.
But no, instead, we get this.
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youtube
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Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.
The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.
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Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.
The main antagonist of the series, everybody.
She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:
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“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”
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“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”
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“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”
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“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”
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“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”
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“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”
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“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”
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“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”
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“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”
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“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”
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“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”
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“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”
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“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”
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“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”
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“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”
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“LEAVE.”
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“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”
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fairycosmos · 5 years ago
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you me 🤝 suffering (genuinely tho bro ur an angel and i know you feel like you dont have worth and youre not doing the capital t Things that you should be but you have one of the kindest hearts ive ever seen & every day you impact people’s lives to make them better! ur gonna be okay! youre so hard on yourself but so kind to everyone else, you deserve that same kindness given back to you and i hope u know that myself and many others think youre angelic and amazing and are sending love!!)
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KORA :(( i would lit rally do anything for you like i would fuckin drag the stars out the sky for u not even metaphorically but like, legit :(( eye can't tell you how much this cheered me up AND calmed me down when i was having my bitch ass mental breakdown. i mean the validation and genuine kindness is making me fuckin cry but in a good way. seriously, thank you so so soo much from the bottom of my heart for being such a warm and valuable presence in my life GOD !!! it really does help to have someone who understands and i h a t e that you can relate but it's also good 2 know we're *troy bolton voice* all in this together,,,, anyway ignoring the fact that you're definitely giving me TOO much credit here sggjjfddfjfds i just want you to know i adore you and appreciate you seeing me in a positive light. have all these: 💖💘💓💞💗💖🖤💓💞💖💓💓💞💖💓💓 and my real heart 2..... sending so much love back to you. please take care of yourself and stay as happy and hydrated as you can be :)
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Spite list: vent
Get that fucking dumbass credit card so you can leave this painful state. Bonus points if it gets uncle to shut up about it.
Get the pointless excuse slip from the doctor so you can stay in Commons (stomach+migraine) cause fuck that supervisor he can shove a whole dick up his ass.
Neuropsychologist to figure out what the fuck is wrong!
If ADHD get med to help focus? So you can get the fuck out of here and live your own goddamn life and stop feeling like you have to do what other people tell you to do.
Just get the fuck out of here.
Work for yourself! This "because I told you so" shit is really starting to piss me off and I cant continue my life like this.
I think the suicidal thoughts are coming back
I don't want them back
Sometimes i think it would be easier if i didn't exist
Why isn't that a socially acceptable option?
I don't HAVE to be here
There's nothing going wrong in my life. So why do i not want to be here? Why am i not happy?
Why do i always break from the monotony and function of "that's just how this world works"? Especially when i know it doesn't have to work like this. But it only does to spite me and people like me without concern or malice. (Which might be worse) at least if the world outright hated me then my frustration would be supported and understood.
Study up on what car you want next i guess.
Would it be worth getting that tattoo?
Do i waste my money?
I literally save most my paycheck and uncle invests a chunk. I dont spend a lot.
I waste my money.
I think i waste my time too.
Im so tired.
I sleep too much.
I don't do enough.
I make all these lists and i don't do anything on them.
I don't allow myself to be mean. Its too much trouble and only makes things worse.
Why cant I just cuss someone out just a little sometimes?
Why cant i just cry?
Im not okay sometimes
I dont think i remember that im not okay sometimes
Ill forget this tomorrow
Not "forget" but it'll be fuzzy. A statement of fact rather than a memory.
I know people love me.
I dont miss people when they're gone.
I dont fear being alone.
I fear people getting mad at me and stop loving me if they realize I don't need them.
Will they think Im heartless?
Im not.
I don't like talking
People don't like that.
I won't remember you.
People don't like that either
I'll move on and leave you behind as a pleasant phantom in my memory that ill never be able to place
I think that's fine. Preferable actually.
That thought hurts others.
Why do so many fear being forgotten and left behind?
Isn't being forgotten preferable?
I used to be motivated by spite. Now even that isn't enough
I feel like im doing something wrong. I dont know what.
Im so lucky to have my family
Im lucky to live like i do
Im lucky to not have to worry about bills and rent and resources
Im lucky i got out at all
Im lucky it wasnt as bad as it could've been
But i didnt do any of that
It was handed and given to me
Did i earn any of what i have?
I didnt earn my first car
...........
How do you earn love?
How do you earn care?
They say i worked hard for what i have.... Did I?
The easiest job ive ever had has paid the most. I like my job. I was originally told not to apply this time around.
College was the hardest and most costly. I hated it. I was pressured into it.
Should i just do what makes me happy at the risk of disappointing loved ones? Or the risk of failing horribly and burdening them with my failure and need of help?
So im passively suicidal again today. So i got something to eat and drank some water. Didnt realize it had been so long since i did either of those. I'm feeling extremely disillusioned with people and reality right now.
I cant believe some dumb bitch thought having a baby would save her marriage and now not only did she still break up now shes dead and I legally cant check out of an existence I never asked for. Like why am I forced to live in a world I was brought into against my will? I can quit a job, relationship, school, anything else at any moment in time. But I'm not allowed to quit life. That's bullshit.
Im sick of being nice all the time. Im sick of having to be the bigger person all the time. Im sick of being kind and patient until I snap and suddenly Im overreacting. And when i try to talk about the problem before i snap its always brushed off because i apparently don't act "distressed" enough.
0 notes
mauriacs · 6 years ago
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20 Q’s
tagged by - @augustinianseptember, thank you very much!! <3
Rules: answer 20 questions so your followers can get to know you better, and tag 20 other people you’d like to know better.
1- name: Al
2- nickname: uhm my family calls me Moose for some reason, and my friends call me by my last name (literally not one of my irl friends has called me by my first name in years) which i will not disclose lmao
3- zodiac sign: gemini, im begging dont unfollow me i promise im nice
4- height: a sad 5″3′ ish
5- languages spoken: english and 2% of french, maybe at a stretch, im learning dutch now if that helpps
6- nationality: ppl call me extra when i say british instead of english, but more that half of me is from scotland (we have a fucking clan,, with tartan, castles, territory & all im shook) or wales (who are decidedly Not english) so i count myself as british
7- favourite fruit: hmmmmm at the moment, i am Loving blueberries
8- favourite season: definitely winter, no questions asked, i love the entire mood and the cold and hnnn i love it
9- favourite scent: lavender can Do No Wrong, but “men’s” deodorant is a close second dont come for me
10- favourite colour: greyish greenish blueish (a stormy sea)
11- favourite animal: cats are so good
12- favourite fictional character: no question toad from the wind in the willows, what an extra bitch i love him,,, honourable mentions are henry winter from tsh, mr collins from pride and prejudice (i hate him so much that i love him), ron weasley from hp (needs more credit), god ill think of some more later
13- coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: i am in fact thoroughly enjoying a cup of tea right now, i dont really drink the other two
14- number of blankets you sleep with: due to the disgusting yet true fact that it is summer, one duvet cover (without the duvet in it) and in winter, one or two
15- when was your blog created: well i created this blog a few years ago, but i deleted Everything and started again completely in march this year
16- favourite subject: im actually In Between schooling atm so i am dropping most subjects, the only subject im keeping from my previous selection is english literature which i do like a lot. the other ones im taking are psychology, philosophy, and either history or french i cant decide. i predict that ill like philosophy a lot.
17- currently watching: bbc’s war and peace adaptation and hooooooooo my god its so good. im quaking
18- favourite band: ive recently started listening to rex orange county who i am L o v i n g, but the first thing that comes to mind is Pink Floyd. i went to see roger waters (the lead singer) a few weeks ago and i still havent gotten over it. i literally cried my way through that concert, there was a massive inflatable pig that said ‘stay human or die’ on it and the crowd managed to drag it down and burst it and i got a fucking piece of the pig!!!!!!!! im shrieking. there was lots of anti-trump imagery in preparation for his uk visit and (e.g. popart style artwork of him in a kkk hood) like, i was loving it. it was visually the best thing ive ever seen (they made the dark side of the moon prism/rainbow thing out of fucking lasers!!! and they got battersea power station chimneys to rise above the stage!!!!!aaaAAaaah) and they had a lot of social messages (like anti-zionism, pro-environmentalism, anti-fascism). and!!!!!!!!!!!! the music was incredible holy shit it was an out of body experience,,, i have to stop now or ill go on forever
19- instruments played: im doing my grade 7 flute this year!!!!!!!! im stressed but excited. i can also read piano music,, a bit,, and work out other wind instruments given enough time
20- favourite book: there is definitely more than one........ the secret history, all of harry potter i know jk is problematic but that will not stop me stanning this series until i die, the wheel of time series, jamaica inn, rebecca, the wasp factory, jurassic park, frankenstein, the song of achilles, all poetry ever written, etc
i tag: anyone who wants to do it, feel free to say that i tagged u
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Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
"Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Would a married male receive a lower auto insurance rate?
Would a married male receive a lower auto insurance rate?
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Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
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Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
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Home Owner's Insurance?
I asked this a while ago, but I didn't word it right... If I stepped off a rafter and accidentally fell through the ceiling at my house, would my home owner's insurance cover the hole in the ceiling?""
How much will my insurance be affected by a ticket and will my parents have to know i got the ticket?
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How much does auto insurance cost?
How much does auto insurance cost?
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Where should I look to insure a child in another state?
I am currently doing research to find an affordable health insurance plan for a child in California, I live in Colorado. I'm not sure how to go about finding insurance in another state, especially for a child. She will be 12 in October. Any suggestions?""
Motorcycle insurance???
I just got a 07 kawasaki ninja zx6r i got a nice deal on but trying to find insurance on it is hard. Why do they want like an average of 500 dollars a month and thats like 4x what i pay for my car insurance.
Best Apartment insurance?
Hey I need apartment insurance. What are the top five best apartment insurance places? Thank you!!
Can I drive my friend's car if I am NOT on their insurance?
In the state of OHIO, I want to know would I be able to drive a friend's car if I am NOT on their insurance, but I have my own insurance?""
I received a speeding ticket in IL for 16 mph over. It is my first offense. Will my insurance rates go up?
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Hi Folks My car got vandled recently. I want to get it fixed but my car mechanic does not work with my insurance company direct. Is there any way I can receive the check from insurance company and then pay the mechanic? I mean do I have to go through a body shop that work with the insurance directly? -Z
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Someone just rear ended me. There are deep scratches on the bumper. He has car insurance, but doesn't want to use it. I got most of his information - driver's license #, car insurance info, ect. What are the steps I should take? My car insurance company said I have to call in and report accidents as soon as they happen. Should I do this in case he doesn't follow through and pay me for repairs? Should I go get an estimate right now, and have him send me a check?""
What the health insurance influences on?
I would like to know if a pregnant women can be treated in different ways depending on her health insurance. I can imagine that different health insurances can cover pregnancy in different way. For example with some health insurance the woman cannot get some services which she could get with another health insurance. Is that true? I also can imagine that different health insurances can have a different network of medical providers which could have different level of services and qualification of staff. Is that true?
How can i get relatively cheap car insurance?
I'm 17 and just passed my test as you know first time drivers is extremely expensive to insure. As none of my parents drive I cannot go onto their policy so I'm having to start my own policy where the prices are ridiculous for an old car, but my friends have been telling me how there siblings etc. have started there own policies for as little as 1800 an this is their first year driving when all i can find is stupid prices such as 18,000 can anyone help please, please please!""
What is the best 4x4 as a first car? Also cheap to run.?
I live in a pretty rugged region, and, for my intended job as a country vet it would really help to have a car tough enough to cope with the bumps and ruts. Now I know that the best 4x4 overall is the land rover defender and, money permitting, of course I'd have one. But to run and insure nearly all 4x4s are massively expensive! So far I've considered the old rav 4, a suzuki ignis, or the old fiat panda 4x4 and as of yet, i prefer the latter as it seems cheap to run, cheap to insure and also has the practicality of being small but robust. So if there is any other car better suited to this, ideally as cheap as possible to buy, run and insure, then I'd really be glad of the help.""
OK here is one. I have a 2002 Dodge Neon 4 door. I need the cheapest insurance I can get. Where can I go?
I use it for work. It has never had insurance because I just got the job, So, I wasn't driving it. I used my sons truck instead. But, now I need insurance for my job. I need it fast and I need it as cheap as I can get it. Does anyone have any ideas on where to go? Please. And serious answers only. I need it by Monday.""
Do I need car insurance?
I am getting my permit in a week. Do my parents need to add me to the car insurance policy?
Would a married male receive a lower auto insurance rate?
Would a married male receive a lower auto insurance rate?
How much would it cost to insure a 1995-2000 Ford Mustang?
Something with around 80k-100k miles. Everything stock no mods or tuning. Not convertible. Im 18 so i know itll be a decent amount. Im going to have my dad co sign on the car to help lower the insurance. Itll be used for maybe 3 times a week and ill put maybe 5k a year on it. Im on gieco currently and they wont give me an accurate qoute and i know you wont really be able to but if you give me the same number itll be the set amount ill asume. Thanks
Car insurance for a 16 YR old girl with an 08' Mustang?
How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old girl with an 08 Mustang with Famers insurance. I have all A&B's in school. Have taken drivers ed. Have no wrecks on my record. Please give me a real price range not too much or A lot.
Can someone explain somethings about Car Insurance to me?
Okay, long story short. Last week I got in a car accident with some friends. My back is messed up and I went to the doctor Monday. He told me that my lower back muscles, tendons, and my lumbar are all swollen and sprained. My parents want my friend's family's insurance to pay for the doctor bills, plus they want to get me something (I think it's called compensation or something, I can't remember) basically, the insurance company will pay me money. I guess my questions are just these: If you were my friend's parents in this situation, would you be mad? Is my family technically suing my friend's family? Does her family find out about this or is it all confiential between me, my parents, and the insurance? We live in Washington state and got in an accident on the Interstate, heading down to Seattle for the afternoon, if it changes anything""
Car Insurance in the UK?
I am not a UK Resident , I am here in the UK from Australia for 5 months on Holidays . This is my forth trip here and after the first time when I hired a car for 7 weeks at a cost of 1400.00 pounds i found out that it would be much better to buy a car as I was going to be here for 5 months. A few days ago i took my rent-a-car back the i had for 7 days and cost me 150.00 pounds , I found a car to buy at a cost of 1200.00 pounds but first went looking to find someone to Insure the car . I spent overs 2 hrs on the phone and there was on one that would do it for me apart from one . I have 3rd party insurance only for this car and at a cost of 1230.00 pounds for 12 months . I am at a loss as to WHY i have to pay this amount and WHY no one will do it . MY Question is why is it that there no question asked when i hire a car for as lond as i like and am covered be insurance BUT if I try to buy a car and have it Insured that is a joke , Am I a diferent driver if it is my one car ?""
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
Can you or spouse be denied group health insurance?
I have stage 4 cancer. I have insurance through my husbands job. If my husband changes jobs and is offered insurance at the new job can I be denied insurance due to the preexisting condition? I live in Georgia. I already checked and got information on cobra.
Car Accident-Health Insurance?
I was in a low-impact car accident and went to the ER the next day to get checked up just incase. I went to my doctor because of back pain and when I mentioned I was in a car accident. They told me I could not go through my health insurance that it has to be through my car insurance. It turns out I have herniated discs and now my doctor has referred me to see an orthopedic surgeon but, I do not feel that the car accident was the cause of the herniated discs. I asked again if I can treatment through my health insurance and I was told by one of the office assistants that it is fraud if I use my health insurance. If I explain to my doctor that I fell down the stairs and insist that I do not want to through through my car insurance because I do not feel the car accident was the cause will he change his mind and refer me to the specialist using my health insurance or should I go through another doctor.""
How much would my insurance be if i owned a tuner car like form fast and the furious?
because i am 16 right now, and in the future ( 20's) i want to work on one, how much would my insurance be for it?""
Changing motorcycles and insurance question?
Long story short I have got a new bike. The bike I am Insured on has about 2 months left before I gather another year no claims. However, I was wondering would/do Insurance companies offer a way for me to transfer the next/last 2 months to my new bike (At a possible cost) then charge me a full year when its due (In 2 months) Any help will be appreciated. I don't want to phone my insurance up cause every time I phone someone like that and tell them I have a new bike I want to insure they go crazy and keep phoning me! I have 1 years NCB and i'll be 18 in 2 months (when I will get 2 year NCB) Cheers Geoff""
Why is my car insurance quote so high?
I have been to CompareTheMarket for a quote on car insurance, and the cheapest quote was around 5,000 for a car that costs 250. Why is my quote so high? I'm a first time driver living in an area with a fairly high crime rate. After changing the address to my girlfriends the quote came down to 2,000. This is still way too much considering the cost of the car! Is there any way to bring the insurance cost down? I wont be able to afford to drive at this rate.""
Can I add my son to my fiances car insurance?
My son just turned 16, and I have been researching insurance cost for him. My fiance drives a company car, and his own personal truck just sits in the driveway. It would be much cheaper adding my son to his truck (84.00) as an occasional driver versus putting him on mine (154.00) as an occasional driver. My car is considered a class C vehicle (Landrover) which is why it would be more expensive. Does anybody know if insurance companies would allow this, being that we are not married yet? Thanks!!""
What does comprehensive car insurance cover?
I caused damaged to my own car, scraping it against a wall while driving out of a car park. The damage was done near the rear tyres and on my door and quotes I've received were all above the 900 range. My standard excess fees are $725, I was wondering if having comprehensive insurance (with AAMI Insurance) does that cover damage done to your OWN car? (I pay $2,500 annually for insurance) and there was no third party involvement, it was just a driving error. Would my insurance fix up my car even if it was entirely my fault?""
3 Insurance Questions for a young driver?
(What coverage package would be recommended for a young driver?) 1. What coverage would be recommended to best protect you in the event that your car is stolen? 2. What coverage would be recommended to best protect you in the event that you have an accident that is your fault? 3. What coverage would be recommended to best protect you in the event that your car is hit by an uninsured motorist?
What is the cheapce for teenagersest auto insuran?
i am noiw 19 and need cheap insurance
How do I find health insurance for myself as an individual?
I am currently a sophomore in college, and I really hate student insurance, as it covers and pays for almost nothing, and doesn't include dental. Where do I go if i need to get a different provider?""
Can you or spouse be denied group health insurance?
I have stage 4 cancer. I have insurance through my husbands job. If my husband changes jobs and is offered insurance at the new job can I be denied insurance due to the preexisting condition? I live in Georgia. I already checked and got information on cobra.
Question about general car insurance?
I'm doing a Statistics Lab based off car insurance and i'm a little confused. I'm supposed to make a statement to my boss about charging higher or lower car insurance based on the rating the cars get. So, for the larger, and safer the car is, should I tell my boss to RAISE the insurance prices, or lower the insurance prices? I'm a little confused on the correct way to do it? Safer = Higher insurance or lower insurace? and WHY?!?!?""
Does getting a Health Insurance quote run your credit?
I wanted to know if getting a quote from a health insurance provider (not through a job) runs a credit check? I never actually filled out the application, but I answered some questions to get quotes.""
How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old with a 1999 ford mustang cobra?
It has a ton of mods and yes I am looking at fast cars because ive been around them all my life. and dont be that guy that says get a honda. Thanks
State farm insurance? how much does it cost?
i am a 19 yr old female with an 04 kia spectra, no tickets or accidents clean driving record! i live in virginia how much would getting my own car insurance policy cost me (average)""
Provisional Car Insurance?
I am currently looking for car insurance on a car I own, The car is an 04 punto. Basically I need provisional insurance for a month and I own the car so I need a policy that covers both of these, I am 18, Any suggestions? Thanks""
Do i Need Car Insurance?
If i drive my moms car and the car has insurance and my parents both do and i don't have my own and i get in a accident or get pulled over. what will happen to me and my parents? and also i am 16 and just got my license. my parents have AAA insurance and we live in Michigan. My parents do not want to add me on the policy, so can i still drive the car or can i get in big trouble?""
Car Insurance for Young Driver (UK)?
Hi, I'll get straight to the point, I'm 17 almost 18 and am looking 2 buy my 1st car. I live a upper class life, and when it comes down to cars i do get to travel in in style. e.g. my dad drives a Jaguar S-Type, my mother a brand new 2008 Land Rover Freeland, and i do know people with Bentley's and this one guy i know will take me out for a drive in his Aston Martin Vanquish. I do like to stick out from a crowd and this is a amazing opportunity to do so at college. My 1st car is definitely goin on my dads policy, and by then i will have my full license. I have seen Jaguar XJ's for sale which i can afford, but my greatest question is how much would the insurance be. If someone who is a young driver who drives a Jaguar or something similer could give me a rough guess to how much insurance wud be?, i wud be greatfull or someone who has insured a young driver on there Jaguar?.""
I need help with family life insurance...?
I need to buy life insurance for my family. 1. Which one should I look into? 2. Is there a whole vs term family life insurance? 3. If I buy the life insurance for the family, does the insurance only covers my kids until they turn 18 years old?""
What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?
What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?
Young driver insurance in the UK?
I was quoted 1200 the beginning of this month for car insurance (its due feb, but I regularly look at quotes). I then looked the 23rd and was quoted over 2000 for identical insurance (just by refreshing the quote). It has then increased drastically every day by around 1000 so its now looking at over 5000 a year to insure a 2007 FORD KA!!! I'm 17 and have 6 months no claims, plus the time I had no claims as a learner too (another 4 months). I understand that the equal insurance for men & women effects this and due to my age insurance is high, but two of my male friends insurance is shooting up too. I'm in a pretty good area, don't drive that much (3000 miles a year) and have both parents with 25+ years driving on my policy. How can my insurance possibly be increasing be so much? What can I do to bring it down, other then selling a car I need? I need a car to get from school to work in time (or I won't have a job), and I don't earn nearly enough to afford car insurance with the quotes I'm getting right now. Its a complete rip-off.""
125 motorbike insurance 19 year old?
hi, im 19 and have had a car driving licence for 2 years and clean. As my car insurance renewal is ?n a few months and because its a 2.3litre and all that talk of premiums of increasing, its my option to sell my car for a motorbike and a riding experience, so typically how much would insurance be for a 19 year old, With a new bike licence but been driving a car for 2 years (if that matters) 1000 pound 125cc motorbike stored in a garage, immobiliser, not for any sort of business and miles of maximum 2000 a year. im just asking because insurance webpages don't open on my computer today, but i roughly remember whats asked for insurance. thanks in advance""
When you get a license do you need insurance? Or is that only when you own a car?
Hi, I live in New York State. When I turn 17, I plan on taking drivers. ed. and getting my license (i think it's normally 18 years old for licenses, but if you take classes you can get it at 17). Do my parents have to pay insurance for me once I get my license? Or is that only if I own a car? Thanks P.S. Extra question - what is the usual/average rates for 17 year old drivers with good grades (i just need a estimation no specific numbers necessary) thanks""
Insurance for car accident?
I had a car accident where my mirror and signal were broken as well as my front door got skewed. The insurance company said that they either fix it at their garage or they estimate damage and give me money in return. Which is better?
What is the cost of insurance for a bugatti?
What is the cost of insurance for a bugatti?
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
Crown Point New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 12928
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/who-knows-car-insurance-michael-mcdonald/"
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scadplaysdnd · 7 years ago
Text
a reflection
aka “holy fuck mom its been a year”
just warning yall now this is about to get hugely personal and if you’d rather not see insight of the worse sides of me or what’s been going on behind the scenes then i fully understand not reading this. i wont be offended. this is kind of as much for myself as it is anyone else.
so there have been a couple times in my life where ive had to look at myself and go “if i dont reach out for help of some kind, something really bad is going to happen”. around this time last year was one of those times. i was three credits shy of getting my degree and the last thing i needed to do was an internship, which would have started around this time and finished up by the end of 2016. i would have finished my education and gotten my degree.
and then i would have died.
id known this fact for a couple months now but as we were reaching two months from the end of the year i had this thought--maybe i should like, not do that??? so i put the internship on hold. i took a semester off on medical leave. while all of this was going on, kelly and erik had come to me asking me if i wanted to play dnd. i said sure, though i was pretty wary. id only ever played dnd once beforehand and it ended really badly--basically my character died and the rest of the party kind of callously left her behind which hurt and sucked.
ANYWAY i came up with the basic concept for tami. i know i wanted to play an orc because it was always weird to me that orcs are like the stereotypical and defacto villains that most parties are pitted against from the very beginning--what must it be like to be one of those people? but i wanted her to also diverge from the typical orc playable character, in that she was going to be quiet, stealthy, dexterous, and “level headed” (in quotes because yknow her emotions are something she’s always struggling with).
basically tami naruto jumping through the trees was always a key character concept from the word go.
but character creation is easy for me. ive been doing it nonstop since i was 10 years old. i also joined a new roleplay group around this same time. creative endeavors are something i can still pursue rather easily even in the throes of the worst mental breakdowns. in fact, its probably the reason ive survived most of them.
and i had no idea how much dnd was going to be that.
by this point, things were getting really bad and we were basically deciding what to do with me. my support network as ill call them (basically my therapists and doctors) were thinking i needed to be admitted into some kind of program and i agreed with them. but they wanted me to go to an inpatient program--essentially either being hospitalized or cut off from everything while i was taught how to yknow. not die.
but i didnt want to be cut off from everything. i wanted to play dnd. it was pretty much the only thing i had going for me at the time, since i wasnt doing any work or school. not to mention most of my irl friends were still in school or just generally busy and it was pretty much the only social thing i had to look forward to.
of course, that wasnt the only thing. in general, i just really didnt like the idea that i wouldnt be able to have a phone or computer for xyz months, quite literally being cut off from everyone and everything, including all of my essential coping mechanisms that have been keeping me alive thus far. but really, i knew that if i left the campaign just as it was starting for what would probably be months, i wouldnt be able to come back. and i didnt want that.
so i put my foot down and we got me enrolled in a local outpatient program. every day for 5 hours, i had to go to group therapy and learn how to Not Die. i had to go completely sober. i had to get drug tests. it was......hard, to say the least. it was scary and frankly humiliating to get to that point where i had to be constantly monitored to make sure i wasnt a danger to myself or others--even more so that it was justified.
every day we’d have to check in, let them know what our level of suicidal ideation was among other things, and i remember for those first few months, it was never none for me. but as long as it was passive, it was alright. in response, we were supposed to take a step back and look for things to live for, and look forward to. every friday we had to write about what we were planning on doing for the weekend.
and every friday i wrote the same thing: dnd.
it was honestly everything i needed during this time. i was going through a pretty rough period of agoraphobia and social anxiety, but once a week every week i got to be social as someone who wasnt myself. my experience with dnd hadnt been much up until that point, but almost none of you guys had played before. i felt almost an obligation to make a character that was somewhat take charge and open, in an effort to coax you guys out for the same. its kind of hard to remember at this point considering where we all are now, but at the beginning there, i know it was rough for a lot of us. i felt like i had to take charge, which was so the opposite of how i was actually living my life at the time.
and it was...nice. tami is much more confident and forthright than i am, and i had to force myself out of a lot of comfort zones to put myself in that place. but as weeks went on, it became easier, both in and out of character. all yall nerds are busy now but back then we were hanging out practically every night and it gave me a chance to not be alone with everything i was going through. unlike with say, the roleplay group, i wasnt just my character--i also got be myself with you guys. i got to rediscover who i was and could be during a time where i really didn’t see myself as anything worthy, let alone anything at all. plus, my connections to others has always been a driving force of me Not Dying and being able to be a part of such a blossoming close group was essential while living at home with little contact to my other friends.
and this went on for months. in that time, through the program, i was able to learn some essential, new coping mechanisms. i discovered some trauma that was affecting me way more than id given it credit for and was able to start working through it in a way that i hadn’t for years. through helping and supporting the others in my group, i was able to do the same for myself.
while all this was going on, i was constantly doodling tami and others in the margins of my notes. i was singing the praises of the group and the campaign to my program, whose members also became somewhat invested in the story and started asking me every week what had happened. it became such a huge part of my identity and every day that soon members of the program began to identify me with the game itself. it played such a huge role in my recovery.
but by march, i had graduated the program. id started up my internship, and was on my way to getting my degree. i got a nepotism job at my dads company, and i was actually leaving my house on a fairly regular basis. i dont want to say that it was all sunshine and rainbows because it wasn’t. i still had some pretty dark periods, and there were times that if you asked for a check in, i wouldnt be able to honestly say that there was no suicidal ideation.
but i kept on. and the only consistent thing throughout all of this was dnd. i started my own campaign on top of all of that, which has been an adventure in and of itself. tami has been through a lot, both through what has happened and general character development. it would be impossible not to after a year, even if it hasn’t been nearly as long in game. 
i thought i had some sort of linear progression to all of this, and this would be the point where i wrap it up all neat and say that im all better and its all because of dnd but that.....isn’t true. its not true in life OR dnd, and i think thats why i like the game so much?? its narrative for sure, but there’s also so much uncertainty and surprise that you don’t get in general writing or roleplay. not everything works out plainly and neatly, with things being completely fucked just by a dice roll. it can be just as messy as life is. which is funny because thats exactly what i used to HATE about the game, and why i didnt want to play in the first place. i didnt want to not have control over the narrative. i didnt want to not have control over MY narrative
but i needed to give up that control if i was ever going to get help. i needed to put my safety, my mental health, my life into other peoples hands. i needed help and i needed connections--and thats kind of what dnd is all about. and in the end, it still might not matter. our characters can still die, the story can still go in a way that not even the dms are prepared for, we might not save the world.
BUT WE ALSO MIGHT!! we’re going to work together and try our best and do everything in our power to fulfill our own quests, help one another, and create a greater good for ourselves and the world around us!!! and its like yeah, im not fully recovered, i dont think full recovery is ever going to really be an option for me, but i can keep going, and i know im always going to have the support of yall and the people who care about me. that means more to me than you could ever know.
and not to be a downer but like...im still going to die, someday. maybe in the ways that i thought, or maybe not. and in the meantime i might not figure out my life plan or get an amazing job or even move out anytime soon. but for once, that thought isnt as paralyzing and world ending as it was this time last year. its okay for things to be uncertain. its okay that things might not work out neatly in the end. and i think dnd played a huge role in helping me come to terms with that.
so remember like four paragraphs ago when i said i was going to start wrapping this up?? lmao for anyone who made it this far, i salute you and thank you. this game has been really important to me but more so its YOU PEOPLE. you guys are just such a wonderful and awesome group of people and its been a privilege taking this journey with you for this last year--and for many more years to come! we’ve been at this for two months in game and who knows where we’ll all be this time next year or the year after or even more after that. i dont know!!!! and thats okay
love yall im gonna go order a pizza now peace  ✌ ✌ ✌ (i have had nothing to drink thanks)
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chimericarchitect · 7 years ago
Text
gallionicTrickster 5
-- gallionicTrickster [GT] began trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 21:47 --
[09:47] GT: nerd
[09:47] TS: Hey dude. You've been offline for a while.
[09:48] GT: oh you know
[09:48] GT: i been busy
[09:48] TS: With what? Your corpse party?
[09:48] GT: yeah pretty much
[09:48] TS: Is that REALLY what you've been doing?
[09:49] GT: did you know that seadwellers REALLY dont take kindly to criticism?
[09:49] TS: Oh no
[09:49] TS: What did you do?
[09:49] GT: same thing as always
[09:50] GT: talk shit from the safety of my hovel
[09:50] GT: #yolo
[09:50] TS: They came after you? #UFuckinIdiot
[09:50] GT: well its fine
[09:51] GT: my lusus was kinda hungry anyways
[09:51] GT: theyve developed a taste for seafood
[09:51] TS: dude
[09:51] TS: So
[09:51] TS: Are you okay?
[09:51] GT: yeah im fine
[09:51] GT: i do this all the time
[09:51] TS: To seadwellers
[09:51] GT: well
[09:52] GT: they tend to last alot longer
[09:52] GT: but since my trap infested hive isnt where im actually hiding im not really in a whole lot of danger
[09:52] TS: Wait
[09:52] TS: You invited me over
[09:52] GT: pffft
[09:52] GT: yeah to my actual hive
[09:53] TS: PleaseExplain.exe
[09:53] GT: well
[09:53] GT: i kind of have a little bunker close to my "legitimate hive"
[09:54] GT: as a cerulean im given quite a bit of freedom in designing my hive
[09:54] GT: i live in a tiny underground box
[09:54] GT: right next to a giant deathtrap
[09:55] GT: im not much of a hunter myself
[09:56] GT: so i figured if i lured enough easily offended assholes to my hive i can just let them die to a bunch of traps
[09:56] GT: and my lusus get fed ma boi
[09:56] TS: Yeah, but... I mean, I'm surprised you'd go to such lengths. 'Specially considering hives are designed by wrigglers. You were a creepy grub.
[09:56] GT: yeah pretty much
[09:57] TS: So, if everything is fine, why've you been hiding out for days on end?
[09:57] TS: you haven't said a word
[09:58] GT: that last violet blood was a bit smarter than i gave him credit for
[09:58] TS: What happened?
[09:58] GT: almost made it out alive
[09:58] GT: gave my lusus a run for his money
[09:59] TS: Is your lusus hurt?
[09:59] GT: not too poorly
[09:59] GT: just a few scratcges here and there
[10:01] TS: Concerned.exe
[10:02] GT: shouldnt be.exe
[10:02] TS: AreYouSureAboutThat.meme
[10:02] GT: dankasfuckbro.mem
[10:02] TS: You ruffian.
[10:02] GT: pretty much
[10:02] TS: Do you know the seadweller's name?
[10:03] TS: Did you get their lusus too?
[10:03] GT: nah
[10:03] GT: unless you count clamSmasher69 as a "name"
[10:04] TS: I don't think so. Do you know the names of ANY of your victims?
[10:04] TS: Or is it just usernames?
[10:04] GT: usually just usernames
[10:04] TS: Does that make it easier?
[10:04] GT: yeah basically
[10:05] GT: i also usually target the upper end of the hemospectrum because the lifestyle of the high and mighty makes it easy to piss them off
[10:05] GT: but stupidity is universal
[10:06] GT: i get the occasional lowblood here and there
[10:06] TS: You've probably made a few enemies
[10:06] TS: to say the least
[10:06] GT: yeah basically
[10:06] GT: i kind of hate our species anyways
[10:07] GT: either i end up dead or i cull so many highbloods that our society changes in some slightly pleasant way
[10:07] GT: either way i kind of win
[10:07] TS: Wow. Bit of a black slut, huh?
[10:08] TS: JK
[10:08] TS: It sucks
[10:08] GT: eh
[10:08] GT: it is what it is
[10:08] GT: its why most of my freinds are lower on the spectrum
[10:10] TS: Nobody's ever figured out your secret technique?\
[10:11] GT: not yet
[10:11] GT: i give out my location so they dont really need to "track me down"
[10:11] GT: avoids them finding my hidey hole
[10:12] GT: i keep a few tricks up my sleeve just in case
[10:12] TS: And no one's been smart enough to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, the fact that you hand out your coordinates is a touch strange?
[10:12] TS: Bleh
[10:12] GT: its almost like i specifically target trolls that arnt very bright
[10:13] TS: You can't know that as an absolute
[10:13] TS: You barely resaerch your targets at all
[10:13] TS: You don't even know their names
[10:13] GT: no
[10:13] GT: thats true
[10:14] GT: i usually pick people who consistantly act like an ass over trollian
[10:15] TS: Does that mean you'd cull yourself if you met you?
[10:15] GT: yeah basically
[10:15] TS: datk
[10:16] TS: *dark
[10:16] GT: the main difference being that i can laugh at myself and let it go
[10:17] GT: if someones so up their own ass that they need to go hunt someone down for calling them a pussy
[10:17] GT: then they kind of are just asking to get killed
[10:18] TS: *shrugs*
[10:18] TS: I wouldn't know
[10:19] GT: *shrugs*
[10:19] GT: *SHRUGGING INTENSIFIES*
[10:19] TS: *POWERSHRUG ACTIVATE*
[10:19] GT: *ENDLESS SHRUG*
[10:19] TS: *THE SHRUGWAR BEGINS TO DISSOLVE SPACETIME*
[10:20] GT: *shrugmageddon*
[10:20] TS: *the shruggening*
[10:21] GT: so tell me about yourself lowblood
[10:21] GT: your one of like
[10:21] GT: 4 people i cponsider friends?
[10:22] TS: You have four friends? That's pretty wild
[10:22] GT: yeah basically
[10:22] TS: You seem okay, so...
[10:22] TS: What do you wanna know?
[10:22] GT: eh
[10:22] GT: nothing specific
[10:23] GT: so why do you roleplay a lime blood over trollian?
[10:23] TS: Well, I mean...
[10:23] TS: Mystery is cool, right?
[10:23] GT: thats fair
[10:24] TS: I mean, what if you ACTUALLY met a limeblood?
[10:24] GT: well idk
[10:25] GT: i dont really care much
[10:25] GT: i mean sure itd be rare and thats cool
[10:25] GT: but eh
[10:25] GT: blood color only really means how long you live and how beefy your arms are
[10:26] TS: You make an interesting point, Teivel. Why do you think the limebloods were hunted to extinction, then?
[10:26] GT: although i heard limes were crazt strong with psionics
[10:26] TS: Is that why?
[10:26] GT: well i mean
[10:26] GT: probobly
[10:26] GT: either that
[10:27] GT: or some petty grievance betweenthem and the highbloods
[10:27] TS: If THAT was all it took, I don't think limebloods would be the only extinct caste
[10:27] GT: because the highbloods tend to cull anything that displeases their delicate sensibilities
[10:27] TS: to a degree
[10:28] GT: so it was probobly because a caste that was lower on the spectrum had crazy strong powers
[10:28] GT: and the higher bloods wanted to maintain the status quo of "being top dog"
[10:30] TS: Most lowbloods have stronger psychic abilities, and besides. You're a highblood too.
[10:30] GT: blegh
[10:30] GT: dont remind me
[10:30] TS: Haha! Is it really so bad?
[10:31] GT: no not particularly
[10:31] GT: im just kind of a pansy
[10:31] GT: that and well
[10:31] GT: i dont exactly get the highblood treatment anymore
[10:32] TS: Not after killing off so many others, right? Or is it because of something else?
[10:32] GT: well highbloods killing highbloods is basically the morning salute for our people
[10:32] GT: its because of this thing
[10:32] GT: idk
[10:33] TS: What thing? :/
[10:33] GT: blegh
[10:34] GT: a couple sweeps back i developed a weird mutation
[10:35] TS: A couple sweeps ago?? That's unusual. I thought most mutations happened during wrigglerhood
[10:35] TS: WHat is it?
[10:35] GT: well fuck it
[10:35] GT: i have a third horn
[10:36] GT: its small and it grew in much later
[10:36] TS: Huh. That was enough for you to get excommunicated?
[10:36] GT: well
[10:37] GT: its not really commonly known
[10:37] GT: i stopped going outside basically
[10:37] TS: Oh. SO you've only recently become a shut-in? I thought that was just how you'd always lived.
[10:37] GT: well i tend to stay indoors anyways
[10:38] GT: i dont live to close to anyone in particular
[10:38] GT: but still
[10:39] GT: less its known less problems ill have
[10:39] TS: Then how have you lost your highblood status if no one knows?
[10:40] GT: its not like a club or anything
[10:40] GT: we dont have membership cards
[10:40] GT: its just how people talk to you and react to you
[10:41] TS: What's changed?
[10:41] GT: idk actually
[10:42] GT: mostly that ive become scared of going outside and that its inevitable that im going to get culled at some point
[10:43] GT: i never really exerted much of my highblood authority before that anyways
[10:43] TS: Join the club, I guess
[10:43] TS: It's interesting
[10:43] TS: I think
[10:43] TS: Yeah
[10:44] TS: Krolio is the only normal friend I have now
[10:44] GT: krolio rules
[10:44] TS: Tru.net
[10:44] GT: i find that olive bloods tend to be pretty chill
[10:46] GT: not constantly being stepped on by litterally everyone while not exactly being encouraged to treat everyone like shit tends to produce trolls that arnt that awful
[10:46] TS: I'll tell Krolio you think he's cool
[10:46] TS: So like, does it hurt? Your new horn, I mean.
[10:46] GT: oh like a sonuvabitch
[10:46] TS: :(
[10:47] GT: i can feel it growing
[10:47] TS: (lewd.gov)
[10:47] GT: its like if a knife decided to grow out your forehead
[10:47] TS: Oh
[10:47] TS: That's... awful, right?
[10:47] TS: Have you been stabbed before?
[10:47] GT: no
[10:47] GT: but i imagine its pretty awful
[10:48] TS: Not that you have a lot to imagine, I guess
[10:53] TS: Is that it, though? Just a new horn?
-- gallionicTrickster [GT] is now an idle chum! --
[10:58] GT: well
[11:01] GT: i can like
[11:01] GT: move stuff
[11:01] GT: if i think hard
[11:02] TS: Wait, really? I wasn't actually expecting you to get bitchin' powers or anything.
[11:02] TS: You're not pulling my leg, are you?
[11:02] GT: no
[11:02] GT: it makes my head ache a little when i do it
[11:02] GT: but its no so bad with tiny things
[11:03] TS: That's...
[11:03] TS: Really cool!
[11:03] TS: ^_^
[11:03] GT: dfgfcgcgvhbjkjhgfcgvhbjnnhgfg
[11:04] GT: im not used to compliments
[11:04] GT: you dont think im a freak?
[11:04] TS: Well, not really
[11:04] TS: I'm more freaked out by the killing, honestly...
[11:04] TS: I'm a shit troll
[11:05] TS: SHHHHH.exe
[11:05] GT: thats fine
[11:05] GT: you got better stuff to do with your life anyways
[11:05] GT: considering that statistically your like
[11:06] GT: not gonna live as long as others
[11:06] TS: Maybe not.
[11:06] TS: Hm.
[11:07] TS: I don't spend a lot of time thinking about my own mortality
[11:07] GT: well
[11:07] GT: its good to be aware of it
[11:07] GT: most highbloods think theyre gonna live for centuries
[11:08] GT: im sure youve already outlived several of them
[11:08] TS: YIKES.SUPERNOPE
[11:08] GT: yikes.superyes ;D
[11:09] TS: You're a real wild one
[11:09] TS: It's interesting
[11:09] TS: I appreciate you
[11:09] TS: Uh, sorry
[11:09] GT: dfghjnhgfccgvhbjhgvcf
[11:10] GT: thats very nice of you
[11:10] GT: YOU ARE EQUALLY APRECIATED FRIEND
[11:11] TS: WOWZERS/[email protected]
[11:11] GT: #capslockisgangsta
[11:11] TS: #bitchyouknowit
[11:12] GT: so what is your actual blood color?
[11:12] TS: Oh, well...
[11:12] TS: MMMMMMM
[11:12] TS: Okay
[11:12] TS: But stay shushed about it
[11:12] TS: I really am lime
[11:12] GT: wait
[11:13] GT: what
[11:13] GT: fo sho?
[11:13] TS: Yeh, for reals
[11:13] GT: fuck
[11:13] GT: thats awesome
[11:13] GT: i mean im sure its actually kind of terrible cause like
[11:14] GT: most trolls would kill you on sight
[11:14] GT: but still thats super cool
[11:14] GT: congrats
[11:14] GT: but also my condolenses
[11:14] TS: Dude
[11:14] TS: Nice
[11:14] GT: so like
[11:15] GT: can you shoot lasers?
[11:15] GT: ive heard you guys shopot lasers
[11:15] TS: I... Lasers? I'm surprised you believe me. Unless you're just being an ass.
[11:15] TS: Are you being an ass?
[11:16] GT: well idk
[11:16] GT: i was just trying to be polite
[11:16] GT: i figured you were telling the truth
[11:16] TS: Well, I AM, but...
[11:16] TS: You don't need proof? You just... trust me?
[11:17] GT: well sure i guess
[11:17] GT: i trusted you enough to mention my freakazoid horn
[11:18] TS: Huh. Well, I mean, it's not like I can hurt you for having a mutation
[11:18] TS: Not from here
[11:19] GT: then maby you should come to my hole in the ground and hang out
[11:19] GT: by hanging me
[11:19] GT: or something
[11:23] TS: You and your sinister overtones of drama and despair
[11:24] TS: Classic Teivel
[11:24] GT: yeah basically
[11:25] TS: That's swiftly becoming your catchphrase, you know
[11:25] GT: yeah
[11:25] GT: BASICALLY
[11:26] TS: exhasperated.autorun
[11:27] GT: so are we like moirails?
[11:27] GT: or just shitheads?
[11:27] TS: Shitheads
[11:27] TS: definitely
[11:27] GT: ok cool
[11:27] GT: shitheads fo life
[11:28] TS: shithead_fistbump/DOIT.edu
[11:28] GT: fuck
[11:29] GT: dank
[11:29] TS: SERIOUS STUFF!!
[11:29] TS: Is your lusus actually okay?
[11:29] GT: yeah they fine
[11:29] GT: they a big tough lizard
[11:29] TS: Lizards are the master race confirmed
[11:30] TS: stay tuned for more useful facts
[11:30] GT: YO
[11:30] TS: So, how big is that new horn? Does it match your others?
[11:30] GT: thats lewd
[11:30] GT: its tiny
[11:30] TS: dude
[11:31] GT: but its vlike
[11:31] GT: still growing
[11:31] TS: It's been growing for, uh... two sweeps, you said? And it's still tiny
[11:32] GT: compared to my normal horns yeah
[11:32] TS: Huh
[11:32] TS: So wait
[11:32] TS: how tall are you?
[11:35] GT: 6'4''
[11:36] TS: Huh
[11:36] TS: Still tall, but not as dramatic as I though
[11:36] TS: Aren't highbloods supposed to be massive?
[11:36] GT: eh
[11:36] GT: thats rascist
[11:37] TS: Nice
[11:37] GT: ye
[11:37] TS: SO are you a shrimp or not?
[11:39] GT: not particularly
[11:40] TS: Okay, that's a relief
[11:40] TS: I've never seen anything other than the Jade bloods
[11:40] TS: so I wouldn't know
[11:40] TS: Ignorant racism, I guess
[11:40] TS: caste-ism?
[11:41] GT: its fine
[11:41] GT: friendly cast-ism is a-ok in my book
[11:41] GT: be careful tho
[11:41] GT: might mistake it for a black-rom flirting
[11:42] TS: That's just because you're an idiot
[11:42] TS: and everything has to do with romance
[11:42] TS: Hey, dude?
[11:42] TS: I gotta go
[11:42] TS: prior arrangements
[11:43] GT: okey dokey
[11:43] GT: ima go sleep in my cacoon
[11:43] TS: You do that
[11:43] TS: Catch you later
[11:43] GT: cya later limey ;)
-- gallionicTrickster [GT] gave up trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 23:44 --
@gallionictrickster
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outerspaceman · 7 years ago
Note
1-50 b
This is going to be SO LONG BUT I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY (i do really enjoy doing these things anyway so thank you)
1. had sex?
indeed I have, but you already knew that
2. bought condoms?
surprisingly i don’t think ive ever bought any, i think whenever I needed them I either just had them from the other person or i got them from school
3. gotten pregnant?
nope, thankfully. that’d be worrying
4. failed a class?
i have. aka why i ended up in three different damn colleges. i failed a few at my first university. nothing in highschool and less somehow
5. kissed a boy?
yeeeeeep, my first kiss was with a dude. you figure maybe i’d know i was gay from that alone maybe
6. kissed a girl?
i’ve kissed many a girls. not as many boys tho
7. had a job?ive had several and nearly hated every damn one of them
8. left the house without my wallet?
too many times than im comfortable with when im driving
9. bullied someone on the internet?\
DEFINITELY no. i hate that shit so much it’s disgusting
10. sexted?
yes. a few times. i used to rp a lot too tbh, which is how i made a lot of my friends online when i was 15
11. had sex in public?
no. i’ve done very basic shit???? in public i think. but that’s about as far as that went. nothing beyond teasing or being drunk at a club but i digress
12. smoked weed?
ive tried a few times and i never get anything out of it. i cant inhale smoke into my lungs, which honestly i don’t consider to be that much of a bad thing
13. smoked cigarettes?
yes. i smoked vaguely regularly for a while. and by regularly it was like once every week or so. i smoked stale ass cigs for quite a while. i’ve stopped completely tho unless im drinking. or at cons
14. smoked a cigar?
dear god no. even the smell is disgusting. 
15. drank alcohol?
i think at this point we all know my relationship with chasing vodka down with a wine cooler. i love drinking, but i dont do it often at all
16. been to a wedding?
yes! my dads, almost my brothers, and my bro’s mother’s. my family is a wreck honestly. 
17. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
i feel like anyone on this fucking mess of a website has done this at least once in their life. 
18. watched tv for 5 hours straight?
i haven’t straight watched cable tv for 5 hours, but i’ve definitely watched like netflix or hulu and shit for that long
19. been late for school?
ive never not been late to something at least once
20. kissed in the rain?
yes, and it’s not that cracked up to be. it’s more funny than romantic
21. showered with someone else?
yes. only partners tho
22. been outside my home country?
no, sadly. one day i’d love to travel everywhere 
23. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
yes, i’ve driven down to florida more than 20 ish times during my life. that’s a 24 hour drive straight from where i live. i love road trips. 
24. had lice?
once when i was a kid. i still remember my dad attempting to wash my hair. overall it was a bad experience. 
25. gotten my heart broken?
i just did yesterday when i thought about ivan and boyd potentially getting into a fight about sin. otherwords, yeah. a lot more times than I’d like to think about. but i think i feel heartbroken about most things eventually. i think with my heart more than anything
26. had a credit card?
not yet, but im being forced into the process of getting one by my credit union 
27. been to a professional sports game?
a few, yeah. It was mostly for family or friends sake. I’m not the biggest fan of sports.
28. broken a bone?
when I was really young I got a kidney infection and they had to strap a board to my arm. for years I thought I broke my arm. Surprisingly I’ve never broken a bone
29. been unhappy about my weight?
i feel like anyone who lives in america has been unhappy about their weight at least once in their life
30. won a trophy?
a few. one for soccer, a few for dance, the rest for grades i think. i cheated to get a math one, because I couldn’t do those times tables fast enough. I just memorized the number layout
31. cut myself?
when I was younger I used to. It was a rough time. I had a scar for a long time because of one of them. I don’t know what happened to it
32. been on a diet?
i dont know if i would count forcing yourself to not eat as a necessary diet, so no I haven’t been
33. rode in a taxi?
nope. not once. i for some reason didnt even think michigan had taxis until i started going to cons and seeing them
34. stayed up for 24 hours or more?
i do this more often than you’d think. i do this more often than actually get a decent amount of sleep
35. been to a concert?
yes. i love concerts honestly. one of the best experiences i’ve had and thankfully ive been to a lot of them
36. had a crush on someone of the same sex?
yeah. quite a few times
37. had braces?
nope. i just kind of have fucked up teeth on the bottom, but it’s never really bothered me
38. wore make up?
yeah, lots of times. i wouldn’t say im good at it, but i’ve worn it a lot
39. lost my virginity before I was 16?
uhhhhhhhhh??? yeah actually. I think I was 15 the first time. 
40. kissed someone a different race than myself?
yeah, a few times. ive kissed a lot of people tbh
41. Snuck out of the house?
yeah. i used to all the time. i got good at lying about it too. i was a problem child when i was younger 
42. had oral sex?
yeah. i’ve received it more than given considering I honestly really hate doing it, but yeah
43. dyed my hair?
over the last few years I’ve had died hair more than natural tbh
44. met someone famous?
YES ACTUALLY. i met the mystery//skulls guy. he’s a sweetheart. there’s been others but I can’t remember atm 
45. been on vacation?
yes, and I wish I could go on one again
46. been on a boat?
yes but wow it’s been so long. i miss being on boats, i love it so much
47. been on an airplane?
yeah, a few times. they’re weird 
48. prank called someone?
I have quite a long time ago. But i can hardly actually call people now let alone fuckin prank call someone
49. taken a pregnancy test?
I would say that maybe I have as a joke at some point, but I don’t honestly think I have
50. been suspended from school?
no, but I’ve been threatened to be suspended. honestly, how I never was I’m not really sure
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