#i am so fucking fragile

[0rph1x]

this cant be fucking real. what the fuck happened.

[naamahdarling]

.

[ryukyuin]

yandere chrollo is, in my mind, always taking and taking and taking from his s/o because he's trying to fill that empty space in myself .

chrollo would give himself up for the troupe, would risk his saftey to make sure his s/o is safe, but god. fuckkkk . you being the thing that lights up the chasm in his being. not his heart, no, he lost that long ago, but are not YOU his heart?

regular chrollo is like 20x more normal i can imagine. like he does fucking EVERYTHINGGG he can to win your ass over. like he's so cringeloser disgustingly fluffy in my head bro is so gentlemanly and chivalrous that you're not sure whether to be charmed or to audibly gag just to mess with him /lh

[bunnihearted]

why is life nothing but misery and pain for some people?

[devil-in-hiding]

What is actually happening 😭 Everyone needs to stop overthinking over whatever it is!

Hey! Brains are m e a n okay?! It has been a crappy few days!! We overthinkers KNOW we need to stop overthinking!! its HARD

[dizzyayla]

something extra comforting about going back to the things that i found comfort in high school like night in the woods and early cavetown music (go figure). like, i formed stronger anchors after that and they've kinda dissolved away but these are things i know will always be there for me. they were in the past and they will be in the future and wow... it's pretty amazing to be something, at least

[distraughtlesbian]

sorry for speaking my truth it will happen again. i think my main issue with valax’s redemption arc is literally just that there’s never a moment where the mc gets to actually talk to her about what she did—there’s not really a cathartic conversation, so valax and mc moving past what she did to them feels less like forgiveness and redemption and more like an agreement to ignore the elephant in the room

like sure we got to talk about our trauma (in chapter 17 of 20. lol. lmao, even) to the party, but valax wasn’t present for that?? and like, sure, she says once that she is sorry “for the pain she caused [them]”, but there’s a difference Tew Me between “sorry for hurting you ig ✌️😗” and actually being like “yeah, i abducted you and forced you into a magically induced coma and stole your blood and robbed you of a full year of your life and repeatedly tried to murder you, to say nothing of the grief i caused your loved ones. i did all that shit and i’m sorry for it and deeply regret it, and i acknowledge that you don’t owe me forgiveness, but i will spend the rest of my life working to build a better world for my people instead of being my mother’s pawn”, and a difference between “my mother is unhappy with me for saving you :(” and actually like, giving the mc space to talk about the impact of her actions towards them. like girl you are not getting out of this shit with one sentence’s worth of apology and a sex scene lmfao!!!

during the first half or so of the book the focus for mc is not falling the fuck apart bc they have a friend group to tentatively piece together and they’re averse to showing fear in front of valax, so they’re repressing all their trauma—and by the time valax joins the party, the narrative has gone full Valax Cool And Good mode, and fully allows you to flirt with her and tease her and generally stops taking her seriously as an antagonist. which would be all fine and good if we had actually at any point gotten to be like, “hey, you abducting me and keeping me in a magically induced coma and stealing my blood and trying to kill me has actually caused me a lot of lasting fear and pain,” followed by some set of choices wrt forgiving or not forgiving her for all that in light of the revelation that she did all that shit bc her mom tortured and brainwashed her

like why are my friends more pissed off about the time this bitch abducted me and did evil little experiments on me than i am. free valax she did all that shit bc of her mommy issues but i should’ve gotten to call her a cunt just once. pb stop making all your mcs generals in the idgaf war challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

[jenna-louise-jamie]

thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.

i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.

i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.

where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.

while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.

[eurydicees]

jesus fuck i can’t handle this anymore i’m destroying my body every time i go to work can someone PLEASE teach me how to lift large bulky heavy objects without completely injuring my wrists and joints and back and neck and

[nie7027]

You know what I've been thinking? I ve been thinking that Atlus shot itself in the foot by honoring p2 and making the explosion on the bridge caused by the death arcana to happen on the same year as p2 instead of a few years later.

Because imagine this.If it had happened a few years later we could have this narrative:

After the events of p2 EP Nanjo, not satisfied with the resolution reached, decides to take Kandoris research(that he had previously saved and kept under lock so it wouldnt fall on the wrong hands), create an investigation team and fund further research regarding Shadows and the collective unconscious/the des of souls in hopes to find a better solution to the fragile situation the splitting of realities caused.

Unbeknownst to him (as the P1 team had no idea about the true extent of Nyx power, only having fought a small scrap of it in the form of the Snow Queen Mask) Nyx starts to take control of the minds of the scientists working for him who start to commit unethical experimentation in the name of the research to fulfill Nyx objective.

Eventually Nanjo finds about the unethical experimentation, including a future project regarding experimentation on children, and immediatelly shuts down the research, angering the group of scientists and causing the fights that eventually lead to the separation of the group who will go on to become the Kirijo group under the leadership of Kouetsu Kirijo.

They of course take/steal the research with them.

As Nanjo couldn't draw the media attention and risk the knowledge that his company was involved with unethical experimentation to come out Nanjo couldn't stop them and he had to play the card about how the separation was a mutual accord caused by a difference of interests while trying to find a way to close in and stop the Kirijo group from the shadows without the research leaking out even more (here's where he hires Baofu and Ulala and starts working with them to find a way to subtly bring the Kirijo group down)

This all comes to an end when the Kirijo lab explodes and all the research is seemingly lost.

Nobody knows what happened and everybody involved died in the accident.

No matter how much they search they can't find anything.

Not even the son of Kouetsu, Takeharu Kouetsu, who now that his father is dead has inherited the company seems to know anything (in part because Kirijo is keeping everything under wraps, in part because even they actually don't know what really happened. The only one who knows it's Ikutsuki and he's manipulating everyone).

So believing everything was truly lost and there's nothing more to do, ridden with guilt born from everything bad that happened since he decided to revive Kandoris research (he should have know anything related to THAT would need up this way, he should have known it was a terrible desicion, why did he have to be so arrogant to want to take everything in his hands...) Nanjo ceases and decides to focus on his company and watching over his own team and the p2 cast (keeping watch on them and making sure they don't accidentally bring the end of the world by recovering their memories)

But there's always something inside of him telling him to keep an eye on the Kirijo group, to not ignore them and he kinda does by maintaining close business relationships.

But it isn't enought.

He's not as as meticulous as he was before, as he should have been.

Thisakes him completely unprepared when the Fall happens years later.

And again nobody knows what happened, worst of all, everybody seems to have actually completely forgotten anything even happened.

But he knows.

He knows whatever happened was Persona/Shadow related so he once again turns his full attention to the Kirijo Group but this time he keeps a careful eye on the young heiress, Mitsuru Kirijo, as it's clear to him she isn't all that it seems.

He keeps his distance, not interfering, but staying watchful. Hoping to learn anything about what truly happened before acting seeing as how badly trying to take everything in his hand went last time.

And that's how Nanjo eventually learns about the Shadows ops (but funnily enough still knows nothing about the Fall being this the most guarded secret the Shadow ops, NO, SEES has).

And this narrative would have been great.

It would have been good way to keep everything connected ... IF ONLY the kirijo lab had happened a few years later.

By making it happen a few months after p2 it gives a very tiny widow of time for the fallout between the Nanjo and Kirijo groups to occur.

In fact it gives too little time for everything to happen considering P1 takes place in 1996.

By 1999 only 3 years have happened since the P1 cast found out about personas, shadows and defeated Kandori.

Only 3 years for the Nanjo group to start its research, a fallout to occur which ends up creating the Kirijo group AND then the Kirijo group doing everything they did until the formation of the death arcana and it's battle with Aigis on the bridge...

All of that in the span of just 3 years with everything in P2 happening at the same time.

And I KNOW I could change it.

I could move the dates a little to make everything fit better without really changing anything...

(Makoto losing his parents at the age of 8 instead of 4 for example doesn't really change anything. He would repress equally the same)

BUT changing the 10 years that Minato stored death inside of him feels SO WRONG.

It feels likes it's something quintessential to the narrative...AND I DONT KNOW WHY.

*coughcoughmaybeit'sjustmyfixationwithmultiplesof10coughcough*

[nonuggetshere]

Ruh Roh!

[caterjunes]

what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.

[jestiamy]

qsmp makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist almost constantly. I see someone go "yeah bad almost exclusively chooses tophats in games when given the option" and I immediately run back to my conspiracy board and pin that next to the photo of q!slime and q!mariana saying they'll adopt juanaflippa because she has glasses like q!slime/q!mariana respectively under a sticky note captioned "??? the original spanish-english egg pairs were designed in a way meant to attract certain parents to adopting them???", that's connected by red string to a note pad page stating "how random was the parent pairing REALLY?" with nothing under it - which is then connected to a string that leads to several polaroids containing the ending(s) of the wall and the wreckage of the button, captioned "why build a wall that big only to have it end at a certain point?" followed by a string connected to a notebook page in the middle of the board reading "the illusion of choice?" - connected to several other seemingly dead-end questions and theories, as well as some slight stragglers only connected to eachother and not the middle. and then I look over my board covered in feverish notes and I go. yeah okay so I may just have like a slight problem

[astrobei]

just watched the hannibal finale with haven. no one fucking talk to me for 15-20 business days PLEASE

[gilded-sterne]

humans really saw sexual dimorphism and said "hey that's really cool, let's expand on that" and made an artificial version of it (strictly enforced gender roles based on what kind of junk a person is born with) on top of the baseline dimorphism.

[frnkiebby]

i mean. honestly. ~🎃