#i am so discomfort
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Y'all, I just won âŹ400 in a Science Slam competition that is going toward my research, and I want to thank all of you for being my audience for the last few years. Without this space where I can practice my science communication and my bad lichen jokes, I wouldn't have done nearly as well. Much love to you!
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See me here looking extremely uncomfortable to be perceived by others
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Wow Dale... There were miscalculations? And who made those miscalculations HMMMM???
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#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#fop dev#fop dale#art#digital art#fanart#comic#I am so addicted to making Dale squirm with the discomfort of his actions and then refuse to change or grow at all#The passive ass way he describes how Dev got hurt#No ''''I messed up'''' No direct apology just âMistakes were madeâ YEAH AND WHO MADE THOSE MISTAKES DALE#âthis is a correctionâ god on some level he is learning from his mistake. Trying to make it right but he is allergic to actually apologizin#And Dev will never get that closure he needs because he just CANT find it in himself to say SORRY#Dev finally snapping too... ough.#Years and years of accepting the most basic bare bones acknowledgment from Dale and he is Not having it anymore#God I hope the final page fucking kills you guys
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From "Unadulterated Loathing" in which Charlie chains these two idiots accidentally together by @otsmosis (who made this comment at the end of the last chapter and inspired me to do whatever this is above)
#i was forced to colour this and its always painful and out of my comfort zone hallelujah#let me just tag this real quick i have a lot to say#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#appleradio#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x lucifer#okay we are back#FIRST things first#oh shit i forgot#my art#i watched silence of the lambs for the first time#and i think that hannibal lecter is just normal smart#but everyone else is really really fucking stupid#OH THE FIC I FORGOT TO SAY#i needed something uplifting and im so happy that i found it#if any of you is in need of some cheering up please give it a read#i am EXCITED for the next chapter#i just love it when charlie screams in someones face#AND THAT âALASTOR HEAVED OUT A DISGUSTED SOUNDâ is absolutely me and my best friend every five minutes if we dont like something#i now use a screenshot of that sentence to express my discomfort in our chat#wow im so shit at giving compliments and i am stuck in an endless loop of âwow i loved it so much it was greatâ#BUT I REALLY LOVED IT
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Page 23 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Adrien is more interested in his drink than Felix's "villain arc", and back in 1999 baby Felix is having a tough time! đđŠš
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Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! đ
#miraculous ladybug#mentor au#felix sphinx#adrien agreste#plagg#A Matter of Trust#josie's art#felix: ''i am about to tell you how evil and selfish i was as a teenager''#''with no realisation of how childhood trauma/social isolation/undiagnosed autism/constant physical injury factored into my actions''#adrien: ''uh huh okay can i get a refill :0''#also a lil family photo easter egg while felix has his neurodiverse meltdown and plagg is unsympathetic :V#for the record i do think those injuries heal the next time he transforms; but the miraculous needs to recharge first#so felix has to sit in discomfort for a while :(
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reading the comments in that âis RPF okâ poll is so fucking distressing, istg. the majority of comments seem to fall into âsure, itâs fine as long as itâs just fluff/not shippy/what they would do IRLâ or âno that makes me uncomfortable so clearly itâs badâ with a side of âwell if they consent, itâs fine.â which⌠i suspect that last one is a big piece of how we get people confronting celebrities with fic, which is actually not okay.
fan fiction has become too mainstream. itâs not meant to be something you talk about on The Voice, and you shouldnât be reading fics on tik tok and hashtagging them so that millions and millions of people see them. because when that sort of thing happens, we get this push to sanitize everything - the RPF, the kink, the dark fic. this is the same fight as âthere shouldnât be kink at pride because uwu makes me uncomfyâ. rpf, like all other fan fiction, is FICTION, and thus there are no moral lines in it about âwell, itâs ok, but donât write about them killing anyoneâ or âwell, itâs fine, but donât ship anyone underage.â yâall are the same as the book banners going to libraries and weeding out âobjectionableâ books, youâre just too caught up in âbut it makes me feel weirdâ to realize it.
yes! some things will make you uncomfortable! that does not make them morally wrong. also! some things will seem fine to you, and still be morally bad. please, for the love of all things holy, go learn that.
#rpf is great and sexy and so am i for writing it!#i need you all to understand the difference between morally acceptable and personal discomfort
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ok for every ten silly pregnancy posts i get ONE earnest
#m2a#pregnancy#m2art#some people have said they like how casual and funny i am about pregnancy so i do enjoy giving my perspective so far#there's a lot of discomfort and a lot of joy. i really like it#it's made me feel human in a specific way#like i think a lot of times when we demystify pregnancy it's being honest about how gross and awful it gets#which is a good thing to be honest about!!!!#but the cute happy sides of it are real too they're both honest
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Assorted ship art,,,,cannot believe gay people are real,,,
#art#clone high#clone high season 2#clone high frida kahlo#clone high frida#clone high cleopatra#clone high cleo#kahlopatra#clone high confucius#topher bus#clone high harriet tubman#tophucius#tubfucius#I LOVE THEM ALLLLL#i am slightly more put off by topher than I was before mainly for personal reasonsâŚ#like I donât find his behavior surprising I just have my personal discomforts yk?#BUT ITS OKAY tophucius is still real in my heart#KAHLOPATRA REAL AND TRUE AND CANONICAL OH MY GOOOODDD#i love them so much they make me flop around /pos#tubfucius is also v silly..#Canât believe clone high invented straight people
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Pregnancy as a kink makes me uncomfortable so man am I glad your pregg Flug stuff is explicitly not kink oriented!
yeah I... don't wanna judge anyone... but it's more than that, it's downright terrifying to me. Blame my hormones bc I'm expecting irl but wow... I'm very sensitive and it feels dehumanizing. but ig that is kinda the point of the kink(?)
it's so common in fandoms!
I'm completely vanilla anyway tho, so not surprising.
I've tried to pretend for a super long time that I'm into kink, but most of them are off putting and I consider them intrusive thoughts, not fantasies. I'm kinda fluctuating between sex-repulsed and neutral (aroace) even fictional... ig kink just isn't for me. I tried so hard to get over it. I know some people in my asks/requests are gonna be disappointed but I'm sorryđ
I'm slightly ashamed of how boring I am and I have serious trouble connecting to anyone in fandoms due to this actuallyđ¤ feel like the most NT autistic person ever.
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anyway here's a doodle!
#that's autism for you#I'm sadly really picky and easily grossed out by things#I'm not even trying to be judgemental#I wish I was such a person that is just chill with everything but I have more icks than likes#so my fandom experience is like 80% discomfort and trying to avoid things without shutting out the majority of content in the first place#from what I heard I seem to have this problem particularly in this fandom bc the series is horror.#and I ship a toxic ship.#but I neither enjoy horror nor this trope. so what the fuck am I doing here#how did I get here. I'm lost guys#but yeah; it naturally attracts more people that are into quite dark or hardcore things#and I'm just sitting here with my soft dick in my hand wondering where it all went wrong#i don't belong here#I can't relate to 99% of people#honestly? I just... like Flug....... I just adore the autistic scientist#and I wanna SMOOCH him but I can't identify too well with myself or thus my sona#so how the fuck am I gonna smooch and love on this man#I need SOME second character for this!!#well Black Hat is pretty cool and easier to draw than the rest; I like his design...#so here we are.#I'm not really in it with my heart. I don't understand the essence of this ship. I'm a fandom blep#that's why a lot of content is probably disturbing and upsetting as hell to me.#but that's just my theroy..... a Joshi⢠theory#sorry for rant I am bored and tiredđ#enjoy#villainous#villanos#dr flug#kenning flugslys#my art#ask reply
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Sometimes I see a bit of belly and my dump truck arse and get dysmoprhic again. But then I have to look at old photographs and realise I've come a long way. I also had a massive breakfast, drank last night, both those cause bloat. And if I flexed then it'd go flatter... Glancing at a drive by will never look like the Instagram photographs. Also, remember, deny defend depose. đ
Edit: not @tumbleweedtech sending me this and making my weekend, asdfg.
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#rawr lifts#showing more of myself than usual#my lower half is a source of great discomfort#i am shaking so pls#i may delete this if i do you never saw it
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sometimes i wonder if im one of very few people who are concerned with the breakdown of the divided spaces between fans and the creators of media
its not great
#the prophet speaks#it makes me so uncomfortable#its worse in indie spaces#i am not immune to parasocial feelings which only enhances my discomfort!
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As I've gotten deeper in conversion, I have increasingly imagined jewish life throughout time. And what I mean by that is...
So when I looked at the Western Wall before this (maybe a few years ago), I just saw a wall. It held no deeper meaning than that. I imagined nothing when I saw that.
But now when I look at the wall or even when I'm praying idly, I'm imagining myself in the temple when it stood there. It's bright outside - a summer day so bright, I think the temple will blind me. A soft wind surrounds me. I'm stood in the middle of a huge crowd of people, simply observing. Women pass by me in small crowds, laughing and talking. Some of these women are wrangling their small children who keep running away, laughing like it's a game. And men walk by smelling of spices. The air is light, the city around bustling with people living fulfilling, meaningful jewish life. The wall now symbolizes that jewish life, and even though it's not just about the temple when I imagine it, it means something to me.
I think that's the result of seeing myself in judaism, turning the "you" into a "we," and I feel about this what I must imagine a married couple feels.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#long post#obviously i know this isn't how the temple *must* have or even *would have* been#i know only a *little* about the temple#but when i see the western wall it isn't *just* about the temple to me. it's about the temple AND then some#i just think it's a really powerful thing to not just be a 'me' but an 'us'#and i have been feeling that more and more#i imagine a lot when i'm praying. i imagine a lot about jewish life through the thousands of years#so now i can't look at a picture of jews in shtetls without imagining *being* there#and that's of course how jewish history operates. the temple happened *to you* as well#to me the wall is an example of this thing where my heart *defaults* to judaism#i don't feel i have to make a special effort to think of myself as part of this#and of course i'm not *officially* jewish. however i also am closer to being jewish than i ever have been#and i feel that in myself. this was inevitable. i feel this is a certainty the way i feel the sun becoming a red giant is#i feel this with the same force that will happen when the milky way and andromeda galaxies collide#this is part of how my relationship with E'Y has developed and changed#i have a deeper *personal* connection with eretz yisrael and it's something special to me to have that relationship at all#and that's part of why i hesitate to talk about yisrael as a topic because it's personal and nuanced and vulnerable#even describing what i see when i think of this feels too vulnerable. but it's important enough that i can manage the discomfort#but i won't hesitate to protect this within me so please don't clown#i didn't even realize i felt this way until i talked it out with my rabbi. i love that guy. he's so cool...
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Something about qTubbo not just going on a silent killing spree, but making sure it's equal and fair to his opponents sends chills down my spine.
This feeling of seeing someone devolve from hopeless diplomacy to mindless slaughter in just one day and STILL seeing remnants of that fairness yesterday's person so desperately hoped for just. Haunts me
This whole time he could've went for every single kill, could've struck and maimed, could've been showered in a bloodbath day after day
But he chose to farm impossible resources instead, nerfing his whole team to make everything fair.
It haunts me.
It makes me think about what put Tubbo in that ice prison in the first place, just how much is he capable of?
If pushed far enough what would he do?
I mean we saw a glimpse of the lengths he'd go to with Quackity, and even THEN he didn't lay a single finger on the duck.
He could've killed him over and over and over and overandoverandoverandover, but he didn't. He phycologically fucked with his mind.
Just who is Tubbo really?
An engineer, the youngest of the server, kind, slightly naive to a fault, trusting, selfless.
A better question might be "who WAS Tubbo".
#tubbo#qsmp#qtubbo#q tubbo#qsmp tubbo#team soulfire#maybe#not sure for that tag#I REAAAAALLY hope we get an exploration of qTubbo's past at some point#either in a big qsmp ice prison lore drop or by Tubbo himself#personally I'm a big fan of the son of Sparklez and Iskall from VH and a dragon hybrid headcanon#but that's probably never gonna be even CLOSE to canon#so I need am exploration of it so bad#also also people before kept overlooking Tubbo#thinking if him as anything as a threat#but after this event I hope they slightly shuffle away from him in discomfort#avoid eye contact#feel a chill down their spine anytime they see him log on#a sigh of relief as he logs off...#he's a wolf in sheep's clothing#but the wolf chose out of it's own volution to declaw itself and hand it's fur and skin to the hunters#the wolf never wanted to fight#it just wanted to survive.
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Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me
i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.
#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it#but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. âthe shallura thing worries meâ as if i am your little project and things arent going#to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd#and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like#we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need#to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel#like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be#harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines#at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine#through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to#work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the#younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves?#i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there#is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism#anyways#rant#ask
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#if you donât mind could you say a quick prayer that I can not make things worse with my seniors?#I do feel very much that the problem is me (hi! Iâm the problem itâs me)#because theyâre just suuuuuch a hard personality match for me as a group#but I can feel myself sort of closing off and not wanting to stay open and I can feel myself wanting to hate them#frankly#but thatâs just because Iâm imperfect and tired#I am forcing myself to go through the class and think about each kid#and actually there is only really one bad apple maybe two but really I think itâs one!#but it is casting a huge shadow#also I hate to say it but many are annoying#aosiieksisie they just are. but theyâre not bad kids! and they want to have a good relationship with me and I need to let that happen#but yeah. I just want to shut myself off from them completely#but I am either not old enough to teach a class well and do that. I have not unlocked that power#there has to be a baseline of goodwill and camaraderie#or I will never be able to not have it and will always need it#but in either case. I need it here. and itâs hard#the worst part is that they ! make ! me ! shy !#freaking introverts are so annoying sometimes I swear#YOU DONât HAVE A MONOPOLY ON DISCOMFORT IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS#and you CREATE it as well as suffer it !!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry. see what I mean? I am getting irrationally angry at them for being the way that they are#but itâs because *I* am suffering because of them#lol. except it isnât lol I am serious#anyway just trying to get this out#thanks for listening#teaching tag
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#not sure how long I can go on feeling like this#like its fine im fine im not going to do anything permanent or harmful#but my tolerance for discomfort I am finding out is absolutely in the fuckingn ground#which makes a lot of sense considering the amount of coping mechanisms Iâm using To numb on a regular basis#but holy fucking shit I canât keep feeling like this#i need to start feeling like myself again#i donât feel like myself#i feel no creativity#no spark#no interest#everything is difficult#even everyday tasks like putting on makeup feel like climbing a mountain#and I feel so ashamed for the struggles#and Caige keeps telling me to be gentle with myself#but I feel like I canât be because if Iâm gentle with myself than Iâm scared Iâll never get out of this pit#i feel like I just need to power through it#was googling#âhow to get over burnout without taking a breakâ#and itâs like. âhow to fill up your car with gas without putting any gas in the tankâ#but Iâm so fucking stubborn I feel incapable and unwilling to give myself time or space#which is dumb because itâs not like Iâm making any progress with the way things are going now#im just exhausted#sleeping so much#donât know how to get back to myself#rabbit rambles#no need to say anything I just needed to get this off my chest
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okay .. take two !!!
+ bonus doodles
#i !!!! like this design a lot more#kinda worried abt the cloak âŚ. but !!!#what do we think âŚâŚâŚ..#oh. wait. also#-> tried to combine the v shape and the cloak#figured out how to incorporate the bottom half wing like design#they have tails !!! they like to sometimes pretend itâs like a bird#(loop running around bc swish swish flowy) (bats their eyelash) am i not the prettiest bird youve ever seen#also while the leg straps for knife was cool#i feel they. while it wouldd be easier to maybe access#anyone could take it !!! the way it was !!!!#into the holster and belt you go#OH and and#the little chains and pendants dangling from the belt ?? those are like keychains from all the things that remind them of their journeys#OH and theyâre wearing. kind of leggings ??? for better agility#im trying not to overdo everything. so that itâs not so cluttered#but that. also Is this point. as fun as this outfit is most of it is just loop taking clothing items they first see and running off#âokay rogue time. i can do rogue.â tthey are a mess <3#theyâre kinda in that stage of. between siffrin and figuring out who They are now after all of that. clinging slightly while also changing#(they absolutely did steal those little pins from sif btw <3) they thought it would be funny to see how long it took for him to notice. and#then it just stuck.#âwhy is loop okay with the cloak now?â bc !!! its not a one to one. and also. sif here found loop at possibly the worst spiral ever#it Would have brought equal comfort as it did discomfort if they wore both the hat and cloak then. and (their words) it would be much easier#to tell which siffrin was who !!!!!!!!!!#agh .. okay#lanternâs art corner#isat spoilers#isat
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