#i am so confused since ive been ignoring the question of my sexuality for so long that now i just have no idea how to deal with it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tteokggukk · 4 years ago

Text

summer heat → jjk

–pairing: twin!jungkook x reader

–genre: fluff, mature (? but no smut), drabble, a minor attempt at humor, best friend’s twin brother type of thing

–words: 2.9k

–warnings: explicit language, sexual tension, tiny bit of humiliation, a hint of jungkook and reader having some sort of “history” if u squint hard enough

–summary: in an attempt to calm you down and prevent your mood from swinging due to the blazing heat, your best friend decides to go out and buy you some ice cream. you’re shocked, however, when he quickly returns and looks different, making you see him in an entirely new light and leaving you trying to resist the urge to give in to your raging hormones and just jump on him.

–a/n: i was thinking of this scenario in the shower but didn’t have the brain power to turn it into a full length story so i might just add this to a pile of drabbles that i may or may not develop heh + ive been in my jungkook feels too lately sigh + also this is unedited

permanent taglist: @100percent-dum-dum @mochisjoon @boraength @rageyoudamnednerd

It was a scorching hot summer’s day. Sweat was beginning to trickle down your temples and your shirt was getting stuck to your skin, causing an irking feeling of discomfort. Looking around, you quickly grabbed an empty long folder from your best friend’s messy desk and began fanning yourself to cool down. The two of you were just there, sitting in his room in a not-so-comfortable silence.

You were currently plopped down onto a chair with your legs resting on the desk in front of you, too lazy to come up with ideas to kill your boredom.

It was a tradition for your family to travel every summer and visit a new country you hadn’t been to, but this year you had to pass the plane tickets and sight-seeing due to your best friend, Junghan, asking begging you to help him out with a month-long film project. You didn’t have the heart to decline, so you told your parents you’d stay behind and help him out which resulted in you having to stay over at Junghan’s place for the rest of the summer.

You had to admit though, a small part of you felt disinclined to stay because the project sounded like it would’ve been a tedious workload, but working with your best friend was so much more fun than you’d imagined and even the project itself turned out to be enjoyable. So far, your summer break has been spent filming and hanging out with Junghan—though hanging out usually meant staying in his room and watching romcoms all day while crying over fictional characters, ranting about how you two would never meet such perfect men in real life. It was great.

Until the air conditioner broke down.

You glanced over at Junghan, who seemed to be just as spiritless as you were while he sat in front of a fan, eyes looking empty and distant.

“I told you the air conditioner needed to be fixed,” You sighed and looked up at the ceiling, completely missing the harsh glare he sent you.

“I said I was gonna get it fixed,” He replies and turns back to the fan, his voice quieting down a little, “But the number for repair wouldn’t answer.”

“Right,” You muttered absent-mindedly, eyes staring at the ceiling while your mind was too busy trying to come up with suggestions to beat the heat, “We could go to the pool?”

“Closed,” Junghan grunts, “The mall?”

“As if we’d both drive in this state,” You rolled your eyes as you tried to get your shirt to stop sticking to your skin. Junghan glances over at you when he hears you grumbling, one of the many cues that you were beginning to feel peevish. Deciding that it was pointless to keep tugging on your shirt, you opt to take it off instead.

“You don’t mind do you?” You asked before completely removing your shirt, only leaving you in your bralette. Though you knew he never did because of the countless times he’s helped you change and pick out different outfits, you always asked out of politeness. Additionally, his zero interest in women made you feel much safer and comfortable enough to undress around him.

“I really don’t care,” He says and stands up. You hear him rumbling for a moment while you were neatly folding your shirt, and seconds later you recognize the jingling sound of keys.

“Where are you going?” You asked.

“The nearby grocery. You’re about to get grumpy and I am not going to listen to a rambling bitch for the rest of the day,” He says, rubbing his temples as he makes his way to the door.

“So you’re just gonna leave me here?” You asked, too exhausted to even glance at him. He probably wasn’t, you only asked for the dramatic effect.

“No, dumbass. I’m just gonna go and buy ice cream. See you in a bit.”

And with that Junghan leaves and closes the door shut. Only a few minutes later after the sound of the engine had gone did you decide to exert a little effort and move over to his previous spot to sit in front of the fan, the air immediately cooling your skin. You sighed in relief and grabbed a few tissues to wipe your temples dry before grabbing your phone and texting Junghan to buy some lemonade, followed by a second text telling him you’d pay him back once he returned.

You were surprised to hear, not even ten minutes later, that the car was already back and pulling up in the driveway. It couldn’t have been Junghan’s parents as they were out working, and it was only you and Junghan around—not like you two had many friends who would come and visit. Instead of rationalizing with yourself on how Junghan came back home in supersonic speed, you decide to drop it and wait for him to come up back to his room.

Someone knocks on the door, causing your brows to furrow in confusion. Since when did Junghan knock?

“Come... in?” You answer, though it came out more as a question. Your head turns at the sound of the door opening, and your eyes widen at seeing Junghan standing by the doorframe.

Looking oddly different.

“Dude,” You stood up from your place and stared him up and down, “Is that what you were really wearing when you went out?”

His eyebrows raise in shock and you catch his eyes taking a quick glimpse from your chest before quickly looking back at the perplexed look on your face, a small smirk forming on lips. You decide to ignore it.

“What a warm ‘welcome home’,” he chuckles.

“You didn’t answer me,” you replied, still oblivious to the difference in his tone.

He was wearing an all-black ensemble—a black cap, a black leather jacket, black pants that outlined his toned thighs (how have you never noticed?), and some chunky black boots—a huge contrast to his normally colorful and baggy clothing. You were genuinely curious because you hadn’t noticed what he looked like before he left the house as you were too tired and lazy to even look up and say goodbye.

“Uh, yeah. This is what I was wearing?” He narrows one of his eyes, looking confused, “Why?”

“I don’t know… since when did you wear all black?”

“Since way back then? I don’t know,” He replies, and you now noticed how his voice was unusually low. Junghan steps inside and averts his eyes from you, looking around in his room before scrimmaging through drawers as if in search for something.

“What are you looking for?” You asked, folding your arms and following him around.

“A charger,” He replies, and a chill runs down your spine at the sound of his voice. You thought maybe you’d detect how he was just trying to change his manner of speaking, but it was effortlessly low; like he wasn’t faking it or anything. It was weird because Junghan normally sounded a little more high pitched.

“What charger?”

“A laptop charger, mine broke,” He continues searching and not once does he meet your eyes.

“Oh okay, let me help you then,” You begin to look around and help him search, “Though I don’t know what it looks like, I’ll let you know if I see a charger.”

He looks up at you and smiles, but you don’t catch him watching you as you were already busy searching, “Thanks.”

The two of you continue searching in silence, though occasionally you’d look up and glance at Junghan. What exactly was he doing? Was this for his film? Is he supposed to be in character? This new look and manner of talking that he somehow adopted after a quick trip to the grocery store did things to you. Every time he grunted in annoyance after a failed search, something in your stomach would twist and you found yourself suddenly feeling drawn, or maybe even more than drawn, to your best friend. Your gay best friend.

You shook your head to get rid of those thoughts.

Only a few minutes later did you find something that looked like a charger hiding underneath a pile of unfolded clothes before presenting it to Junghan, “Is it this?”

“Yes! Exactly that,” He jumps up from crouching over one of the drawers at the bedside and walks over to you, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure. I don’t know why you took such a long time searching for something in your room, though,” You rolled your eyes.

“My room?” He smiles, voice a little deeper but with a hint of amusement.

God, you could just jump on him right now.

“Yeah?” You knit your brows, “And stop doing that!”

“Stop doing what?” He asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed so he was looking up at you. He leans back a bit a folds his arms, a smile still tugging on the corner of his mouth.

Maybe it was the summer heat doing things to your head and making you think about all these things that you never thought you’d ever want to do with your gay best friend, but he seemed so in character it was actually beginning to bother you. What store did he go to exactly? And where the hell is the ice cream?

“That! What’s up with your voice? And your outfit? You look so different, it’s weird,” You folded your arms as if to mirror him.

“Weird, huh?” He asks and looks at his clothing before looking back at you.

“Not in a bad way. It looks good, it’s just not you,” You squirmed slightly before shaking your head to snap out of it, “I don’t know what store you went to that made you look like this—and congrats I guess, if you’re trying to switch up your fashion, but you completely missed the ice cream, so good luck trying to handle this rambling bitch.”

He laughs at the words “rambling bitch” and oh god that is not what his laughter sounded like before. When did the sound of his laugh sound so deep and sultry? You subconsciously sucked on and bit your lip at the sound of his laughter, trying your best not to visibly drool in front of him. He catches your subtle action and his brow raises at the sight.

“Despite all the things you said, you think this looks good?” A playful smile rests on his face and your heart beats erratically at his expression.

“Y-yeah, I don’t know,” You mumbled. He shifts on the edge of the bed to move closer to you.

“And because there’s no ice cream, you’re going to turn into some rambling…” He reaches his hand out, the back of his fingers feeling the skin on your exposed waist before resting his hand on your back to pull you in closer.

“…person?” he continues, brows raised and eyes staring intently at yours, not using the vulgar word you had just used to describe yourself (or the word he had just called you before he left to go to the store).

“I...um, we’ll see,” you replied, and he only chuckles deeply. Your voice had transformed into a murmuring mess and it annoyed you, but you couldn’t really do anything about it, right now he reminded you so much of—

“I think you look good too, you know. Maybe I did miss you a lot more than I thought I did,” he whispers, pulling you in even more so you were now standing between his thighs.

Missed you? After an eight minute trip to the grocery store?

You didn’t question it. Your mind was blanking out, malfunctioning, even. Here was your best friend, your gay best friend (as you had to keep reminding yourself), placing his hands on your bare skin in a way that you knew wasn’t going to turn out to be so innocent. Right now you were extremely attracted and possibly even turned on by whatever the fuck he was doing, all you could do to save yourself was blame it on the heat. Was this absolutely weird? Hell yes. Did you want to stop him? Fuck no.

Were you now completely devoid of all reason and logic?

Definitely.

Softly, he tugs on your arm and pulls you into him so you were now sitting on his lap with your hand resting on his chest. One of his hands was still attached to your waist, the other was resting itself on the bed, gripping on a blanket.

Chills run down your spine for the second time now as his mouth moves closer to your ear, “Lucky for you I know the perfect way to handle rambling bitches.”

Your breath hitches for a moment and Junghan moves back to face you, his lips grazing your cheeks a little before you meet each other’s gaze. The summer heat was definitely nothing compared to this, but you didn’t mind. Your faces were only mere centimeters apart now and you could’ve sworn he was beginning to lean in by the look in his eyes, which were now fixated on your lips.

Seriously, you could just grab him by the collar right now and speed things up. He’s the one who pulled you in first, anyway, you just wanted to get things going. Though you haven’t exactly a clue as to where this would end, you wished he would hurry up a little to find out.

But for some strange reason, your senses were enveloped with the distinct smell of a signature fragrance that you knew did not belong to Junghan and it snapped you out of your thoughts. The scent was strong enough to flash some memories back in your mind, making you frown. Did he use this perfume on purpose? Or was your mind just playing tricks on you? In a flash, you could suddenly think straight and you couldn’t help it, the moral side of your brain had turned far stronger than your currently raging hormones (thank goodness). Something was definitely off.

“But, Junghan… aren’t you… gay?” You asked, your voice trailing off a little.

His eyes widen and he pulls back from you. He stares at you for a few seconds before it hits him, and he starts erupting in laughter. You narrowed your eyes at him and got off his lap, moving over to the side and sitting beside him instead.

“Junghan?” He stresses on the name. You’re staring at him blankly now, like you knew he was just messing with you. His laughter eventually dies down and he places a hand on your thigh, though it seemed much more innocent now, “I’m so sorry, ____, you’ve got the wrong person.”

With one hand, he quickly grabs the blanket off the bed. The back of his other free hand endearingly caresses your jaw, and you notice how he lingers for a while as he moves a bit lower down to your neck—before wrapping the fabric around you and covering your whole torso with it. Your face immediately turns pink as you clutched onto the blanket to further cover yourself, feeling slightly humiliated, though you were still confused.

“Wrong person? What do you mean?”

“I was wondering why you had no shirt on, I thought that was just a regular thing for you now. But it’s probably cause you’re more comfortable around my brother, huh?”

“Your brother…?”

“Has it really been that long?” He chuckles, and instantly your mind began connecting the pieces together. Could it actually be him? You haven’t seen him in years, and no one even bothered telling you he was coming back today. No way, surely this was Junghan playing a joke on you.

“I’m not Junghan. I’m his twin brother, Jungkook. Remember?”

You hastily stood up in defense, still clutching the blanket close to your chest, “Shut the fuck up, Junghan. No one said anything about Jungkook coming back today!”

Junghan Jungkook only laughs and stands up, the melodious sound filling the room, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching the wide open bedroom door.

“What a shame, but it was a surprise. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming home today,” He folds his arms, “And if I am Junghan, then who is that?” He points at the doorframe and true enough, Junghan was standing there holding grocery bags in his arms wearing his usual oversized colorful jacket and khaki colored pants.

You and Junghan both looked at each other with mouths dropped down to the floor before you looked back at Jungkook, who had the same smirk tugged on his lips, clearly amused at the whole situation.

Jungkook bends forward and leans in to your face, his voice in a lower tone but still audible enough for his brother to hear, “Probably shouldn’t take your top off so leisurely around the house anymore, huh?” He grins and winks at you, causing you wince and force an awkward smile, internally cursing yourself at everything that just happened.

“Anyways, I should probably rest up in my room. See you around,” Jungkook flashes you a smile before placing a chaste kiss on your (now dry, because your body had frozen up) forehead before walking away from you, taking the charger and dangling it in his other hand. He taps his confused looking brother on the shoulder before turning his head back to take one last look at you before walking out, leaving you and Junghan staring at each other in shock.

Junghan walks in slowly and sets the bags of grocery on the floor, shutting the door behind him.

“What the fuck just happened?” He asks you, eyes wide in anticipation.

Your mind replays everything that had happened between you two. Was Jungkook really just about to kiss you minutes before? Heart racing, you clutch on your chest from underneath the blanket he had covered you with. No way was Jungkook back. No way is he back and looking even more attractive than he did the last time you saw him. Not when you had just gotten over your small crush on him a couple of years ago.

The heat returns to your body, but it mainly pools on your cheeks. You look back at your best friend, but no words of explanation come up.

“Believe me, I’m asking myself the same thing.”

403 notes · View notes

dirk-has-rabies · 4 years ago

Text

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on) and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes. gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao, or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella) some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do. we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert) this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing. allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it) has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance” SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate) since a lot of people roll their eyes at that and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly. Autigender is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

204 notes · View notes

detectiveidiotboy · 4 years ago

Text

His Time In The Commonwealth IV: Danse

so as my beloved fanfiction, The Black Widow’s Waltz, comes to an end, i’ve decided that i am going to re-release the backstory chapters as their own stand-alone fic, since they read well as their own story. before that, i thought i might do a fun little thing where i release each of the companions backstories as their own post here on tumblr under the tag #his time in the commonwealth.

i had to take a break from posting for mental health and to deal with some things in my home life, but i'm back now! and with me comes the continuation of this mini-series. now, on to part 4!!! Danse's story.

The walk from Listening Post Bravo to Nordhagen Beach took three days. Had Danse been in top shape and traveling in his power armor, he was certain he could have made the trip in less than two, but speed wasn’t a priority in this mission; this was a pilgrimage.

It had been twelve weeks since his banishment, eighteen days since he’d last had contact with Nate, and seven since the Prydwen had been destroyed.

Danse had only learned about the attack the day before his journey began as he was attempting to trade with a nearby settlement. Nate had been his only source of supplies since he’d begun his self-imposed isolation, and since Nate had stopped showing up to visit, Danse had been left to ration his dwindling supplies until there wasn’t anything left to eat. He had considered allowing himself to starve to death down beneath the earth - continuing his existence was a waste of resources now that he wasn’t even able to serve Nate or the Brotherhood - but that plan only lasted two days after his last meal.

Nate had told Danse to stay alive. Nate had given him orders to care for himself until he returned because Danse was special to him. Danse understood what he was: he was a tool, a synth, a man-made creation meant to serve and obey humankind. If he could not be of use to the Brotherhood directly, then the next best thing he could do was dedicate himself to serving one of their best. Really, if he were honest, the idea of being Nate's personal synth wasn't unappealing to Danse. If anything, it wasn't fair to Nate that Danse be kept around to tempt him into violating Brotherhood rules. Sexual relations with machines was strictly prohibited, as was homosexuality, but Nate carelessly disregard both rules when it came to Danse, and Danse couldn't be more grateful. He was an abomination, therefore it wasn't his place to question a human such as Nate; Nate wanted him alive, and in good health, and because of that Danse had packed a bag with the few things he had to trade and walked to Tenpines Bluff.

As soon as Danse arrived, he was met with guns and suspicion.

“Stay back,” The settler warned, warding Danse back with the barrel of a rifle. “We don’t want nothin’ to do with you or your freak of a friend.”

Danse had been aware that Nate had a… reputation around the Commonwealth. He’d been a witness to several violent (bordering on psychotic) outbursts from the man. However, he had accompanied Nate several times to this particular settlement, and the people there had never been hostile before.

“I… am sorry for any confusion,” Danse said, licking his lips. He was severely out of practice after two weeks of near-total solitude, “Paladin Nate is not accompanying me at this time.”

The settler narrowed their eyes at Danse. “You… don’t know where he is, do you?”

“I have not had contact with Nate in weeks,” He confirmed. The sights came down after a moment of deliberation and the settler sighed.

“Jesus, I’m sorry,” They stretched their head with a hand. “Look. You just missed your buddies, but you should probably keep clear of them - they seemed to think you might have teamed up with Nate when the ship was attacked.”

“Ship? Which ship?” Danse felt his stomach drop, the pieces of the puzzle having presented themselves yet he dare not assemble them.

“The big one you lot got up by Nordhagen,” They said, expression turning from tired to something almost pitying. “You really don’t know what happened? The whole ship was blasted out of the sky. Damn near everyone in Boston had to have seen it - what, have you been livin’ under a rock for the past week?”

“There was an attack on the Prydwen?” Danse asked, taking a panicked step forward. The settler adjusted their grip on the rifle and Danse reminded himself that even without power armor, he was a large and unfamiliar man to these people. “When? Who?”

“About five days ago, I think,” The settler said. “We just heard about it when the survivors came through and raided our supplies - grilled me and my wife for hours about everything we knew about Nate.”

Danse’s heart stopped beating, he was certain of it. Why would the remaining Brotherhood want to know about Nate? The answer was obvious, blindingly so, but Danse couldn’t bring himself to even think it. Nate was Brotherhood, through and through - it was not the place of an Institute machine to question the loyalty of a flesh-and-blood human dedicated to the betterment of humanity.

Swallowing, Danse forced himself to put on a brave face and ask his question. “Was Paladin Nate there at the time of the attack?”

The settler actually laughed, though the question wasn’t funny and neither was his answer. “Was he there? I’m sorry but if what your pals said was true, he was the one that blew the damn thing up.”

Danse had ended up leaving his supplies with the settlers. There was at least 250 caps worth of ammo and scrap in the sack, but it would just weigh him down on his journey. The settlers insisted that he at least stay for dinner and leave in the morning, but Danse saw the state of their garden after the Brotherhood had been through and politely declined. It would be a waste to force humans to part with anything valuable to sustain the functionality of an obsolete machine. He had completely forgotten his hunger anyways; all that mattered to Danse was finding out if what he’d been told was true.

By the time he was close enough to see the empty spot in the sky where the Prydwen should be, he had his answer. Travelers, settlers and raiders alike had confirmed the story with identical depictions of events. According to the few witnesses left, Nate had walked onto the bridge of the ship with a gun and, without speaking to anyone, began assassinating high-ranking members of the Brotherhood, starting with Elder Maxson. The bloody massacre ended with Nate walking into the engine room and detonating an explosion - one that most likely came from the very mini-nukes that Danse had helped Nate secure.

Danse had tried to withhold judgment - he should wait to hear what Nate had to say. The descriptions all came second hand, after all. The Brotherhood survivors had all either retreated or were being treated in what was left of the major settlements. And the description of Nate that he was being given didn’t sound like his friend, his trainee, his partner one bit.

Except…

When Paladin Danse first met Nate, he had been backed against the wall by several hundred feral ghouls threatening the lives of his scouting team. While he would likely be fine so long as the fusion core in his armor held, Hayen and Rhys were vulnerable. He’d already watched the ghouls descend on Keane, tackling the knight in waves. Danse had shot them down, but it was too late. Keane never came back up.

So when Nate walked into the scene, rocket launcher in hand, and blew half of the mob to dust before Danse could finish warning his team to check their fire, he had been inclined to ignore the sinister, psychotic look of glee that Nate wore as he ripped apart the ghouls. Hell, Danse had delighted in it, feeling his men had been avenged. The moment the battle was over and those steel-blue eyes locked onto his, Danse knew he had found someone special.

Nate’s reputation hadn’t quite formed yet, but from the handful of missions that Danse accompanied him on it was clear to tell he would make a fine soldier. He was resilient and a fast shot; anything that stood in his way he took down. It was as if the man was made for the Brotherhood.

Danse offered Nate knight-ship several times before he was taken up on his offer. Nate rarely came to visit when he was in Cambridge, and when he did it was almost always to trade or ask for spare jobs to make a few extra caps. It was only when the Prydwen came rolling through that Nate seemed to seriously consider Danse’s offer. It was strange - Danse feeling honored for Nate to join his ranks rather than the other way around.

Nate made him feel a certain way, something he hadn’t felt since Cutler. Danse could watch Nate fight for hours, muscles flexed under his vaultsuit as he clubbed in the head of a ghoul or gunning down a cluster of synths. His nights were often spent imagining exactly what it would look like if it was his neck that Nate was crushing between those smooth hands and not some random raider. It was foolish, and wildly inappropriate behavior as Nate’s sponsor.

Maybe that was what made him overlook some of the man’s more obvious flaws.

By the time Nate was inducted into the Brotherhood, his reputation as a ruthless and cunning man had become fairly well known. Maxson was willing to overlook Nate’s violent past thanks to a combination of Danse’s vouching and the fact that most of Nate’s targets were shared with the Brotherhood. He had infiltrated and collapsed the Railroad, dismantled the Institute's hold over Diamond City, and struck down the mayor of a mostly-ghoul city in east Boston. His methods were harsh, but they were necessary - at least, that’s what Danse told the Elder.

“Still,” Elder Maxson had said. “It’s best we keep an eye on him. I’m not sure if our new recruit’s heart is in the right place.”

“Believe me, sir,” Danse had told him, “I would trust Knight Nate with my life.”

“That may be so…” Maxson said, “but I still have my doubts. It’s best not to take the word of a known liar at face value, and Nate has quite the reputation of betrayal.”

The truth had been there the entire time. Danse recalled the first time he had met someone who knew Nate outside of the Brotherhood, a young woman by the name of Curie. It had been shortly after the destruction of the Railroad and just before his induction into the Brotherhood. She had seemed nervous around Nate, agreeing a little too quickly to what he said and keeping her eyes on him the entire time. Haylen had taken to her rather quickly, both girls having bonded over shared medical knowledge, and Danse remembered well what she had to say when asked if she liked traveling with Nate.

“Oh- o-oui… I mean…” Her fingers tightened around the cup of tea she had been sipping at. “Monsieur is… complicated, in his motives. I am sure he has good reasons for what he is doing… I simply must trust him. He has done so much for me already.”

Danse had felt her words were foolish. She was lucky to have so much of the man’s attention, and it seemed strange that she didn’t recognize that. Less than a week later Danse watched as Nate dragged her into an abandoned shack, barred the door, and set the house on fire. Later, Nate informed Danse that the girl had been a synth and that he was only doing as the Brotherhood instructed of him. Danse had been forced to agree - despite the vast wealth of knowledge that Curie held, her existence was far too dangerous to be tolerated.

The screams that came from the house as the woman burned alive haunted Danse no matter how many times he reminded himself they were from an artificial being. For a while he wondered if synths could simulate humanity so closely as to feel pain; he had his answer now, he supposed. That girl had died in agony.

The Nate described to Danse during his expedition to the beach was far closer to the Nate in those memories than the idealized soldier that Danse had stuck in his head. The Nate who had eyes like Cutlers and spoke to him as if he were human, even after his synthetic nature was revealed. The Nate who had kissed him in the center of the old radio station on their first official mission into the Commonwealth. The Nate who would disappear for months at a time and then reappear at a moment’s notice, ready to drag Danse along on whatever new quest had taken his fancy. The Nate who never slept in the same bed as Danse after he came around for a quick fuck. The Nate who was rumored to have murdered his girlfriend a year prior. The Nate who had set his previous partner on fire when he was done with her, then walked across the field to press a loving kiss to Danse’s lips as she died. The Nate who had promised Danse to be there for him after his exile only to leave him to waste away in solitude. The Nate who had destroyed the Prydwen.

They were all the same Nate.

When Danse finally made it to the airport, he was surprised by just how familiar it seemed. The carnage had been mostly scraped away by local settlers, leaving behind only the hollowed out remains of training camps and supply stations. The opportunity for a new settlement hadn't been lost on the local population; by the time Danse arrived there were already the makings of several homes under construction. Upon arrival Danse was recognized by his uniform and a handful of the new settlers offered him their condolences. He was shown the way to the resting place for those who had been recovered - little more than a mass grave dug behind the airport marked with scattered crosses and hung holo-tags. It was more than Danse had been expecting. The locals he had met in this area before had despised the Brotherhood with a passion - the fact that they hadn’t just left the bodies to rot while looting everything they could hold from the abandoned stores was a genuine surprise. He walked along the grave sights, checking the tags for names he recognized. He found several, but Haylen and Rhys weren't among them. Whether that meant they were still alive or among the hundreds of nameless casualties, Danse would never know.

Danse turned away gifts of food and offers for a place to rest. His body was at its limit, exhausted and starving, but anything put into it now would be a waste. All of this destruction and death was because of him; he was not the victim, but rather the perpetrator. Danse intended to answer for his sins against humanity.

After politely asking for a moment alone from the concerned settlers, Danse left to walk through the empty airport. He had hoped that there would be something left of the Prydwen on land for him to do this in, but the majestic ship was resting with many of her inhabitants at the bottom of the bay. So Danse found the next best place - the first-story storage area that had been cleared out. He retrieved his pistol from his jacket pocket and knelt down before pressing the end of the barrel to the hollow of his temple.

“I am asking for you to do the human thing here, Knight,” Danse pleaded, knees on the cold, damp ground of the listening post.

“And I’m telling you I don’t want to,” Nate had argued, stubborn as ever. “I like you, Danse, synth or not. I’m not ready to give you up just yet. I need you to stay alive.”

The words had felt so kind at the time. Danse, who was nothing more than a machine lamenting the loss of what it had never really owned, had leaned into those words. They became his anchor, his world, his reason- no- his excuse to keep on living. Looking back on them after seeing the graves of his fellow soldiers - some hung with the hats of squires who were too young to have been given tags yet - he saw those words for what they were: selfishness. Nate acted for his own sake. He served no one but himself, and he had used Danse in every conceivable way. What else should Danse have expected? It was the nature of a machine to be useful to those who took advantage of it.

Danse was a foolish, treacherous, malfunctioning thing, but the very last act he would commit would be a human one. If reincarnation was something that existed for synths, he hoped he would get a chance someday to be more than just a cheap imitation of humanity.

“You know, I’m not an expert with pistols or anything, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to put that end there.”

The gun dropped from Danse’s forehead. He unclenched his eyes and turned to face the newcomer.

“Mind your own business, Scavver,” Danse said wearily, though still managing to push through some of his commanding tone from a previous life, if only so he didn’t prolong this longer than necessary. He could already feel his resolve wavering.

“Aw, come on, man,” The person in the doorway stepped into the room, arms stretched out behind his head in a relaxed pose. A pair of mirrored sunglasses reflected Danse’s haggard appearance back at him. “Haven’t the guys around here had to bury enough bodies this week? Why add to the trauma?”

Danse’s eyes narrowed, but he did stand up and put this pistol back in his pocket. “You make an excellent point,” He said, headed for the door. “I will relocate myself to a more remote location as not to disturb the population.”

“Thaaaat’s not quite what I meant,” The man blocked the exit with an arm and refused to stand down, even as Danse towered over him. “Actually, I have a proposition for you - nothing weird - I promise-” He said, holding out his hands in a show of good faith. Danse used the opportunity to sidestep the stranger and walk out of the old hanger and into the hallway. The man scurried behind him. “So, I can imagine what is going through your mind right now - who is this guy? How did he get to be so handsome? Why doesn’t he want me to blow my brains out in an old-world aircraft hangar?”

Danse ignored the man, which did nothing to stop his ranting.

“In order - My name is Deacon, I moisturize daily, and I want you to join my super awesome resistance movement to take down the rat bastard known as the Sole Survivor of Vault 111-” Danse stopped dead in his tracks. “-though I suppose you were close enough to know him as Nate, right?”

Danse turned to look over the man - Deacon, as he claimed to be. He was bald, as evidenced by his ill-fitting wig sagging just enough to show his absent hairline. He was dressed like a civilian, but up close Danse could see the ballistic armor plates hidden under his flannel shirt. There was a look about him that Danse recognized from some of the scribes, specifically the ones who had been tasked with recon. His eyes twitched at Danse's every movement, and the slight tremor in Deacon's fingers pointed him in the direction of a pistol tucked into the stranger's pants line. In short - Danse’s summary of the man was that there was more to him than just a scavenger with delusions of grandeur.

Still, he turned back around.

“Even if what you are saying is true, I cannot in good conscience accept your offer,” Danse said, continuing his long walk. Deacon kept up pace beside him.

“Really? You’re still loyal to him even after he turned half of your buddies into flaming corpses?”

Danse felt rage hit him in a wave, but years of emotional control stayed his hand. Still, he faltered in his gait. “Nate is dead to me," He said with all the contempt he had left in him. "Should I have the opportunity I would gladly put that monster down myself. My issue is not with your cause, but rather with myself. I am a synth. Taking me into your organization would be too great of a security risk.

“Oh, right, that. Yeah, I already know about that, don’t worry,” Deacon said flippantly. Danse pushed open the double doors leading to the exterior of the airport, and despite letting the doors fall back on Deacon, the man kept following. “I asked a whole bunch of the Brotherhood guys if they wanted to join up, but most of them turned tail and headed back to the capital. But there was always this one guy who they kept mentioning, yeah? A pal of Nate's who turned out to be a synth. The guy was supposedly still running around in the Commonwealth, one M7-97.” Danse took a deep breath, hating every second he spent listening to this man speak. “That’s you right? See, I figured if I hung around here long enough I’d see you. Nate isn’t exactly… good to his friends when he’s done with them. And I’d say blowing up the Prydwen was about as done as done gets.”

“As stated, I am no longer affiliated with him,” Danse said, pausing at the water’s edge when he realized there was no shaking the persistent little pest. “If you are looking for intel on his current location, I have nothing to offer you. Last contact was precisely eighteen days ago at Listening Point Bravo.”

“Oh nah, I didn’t expect anything like that,” Deacon said, coming up beside Danse. He reached down for a rock in the sand and skipped it along the bay. “I just figured joining up with us might be a decent enough alternative to suicide.”

“It is not suicide, it is turning off a broken machine,” Danse clarified. He couldn’t see the man’s eyes, but he was almost certain that Deacon rolled them behind his glasses.

“Well, when that machine is sentient, we call it suicide,” He said with a sigh. “Look, man, I know what you’re going through, believe me.”

Danse’s eyes narrowed, no longer able to keep his contempt from his face. “How could you possibly know that? The Brotherhood was humanity’s best hope for a better future, and because of my malfunction its ranks have been compromised, possibly irreparably.”

Deacon fell down onto his ass, stretching out so his bare feet were caught by the waves as they lapped the shore. “I know 'cause you’re not the only one he’s stabbed in the back,” Deacon said, looking out across the water. “I was part of the Railroad.”

Danse’s neck snapped to the side, looking down at the man. His mouth opened in a prepared lecture about the folly of mistaking synths for human beings and the role of the Railroad in humanity’s doom, but he saw Deacon remove the sunglasses from his face and for the first time he was looking into the other man’s eyes.

“Nate took us out in the dead of night. No one saw it coming,” Deacon continued. “He was a new agent, but the higher-ups put a lot of faith in him, because someone they trusted had recommended him - me.” Deacon looked back towards the waves, propped up with his hands behind him. “Look, I’m not gonna sit around and babysit you. If you want out, there isn’t much I can do to stop you. But right now, I’ll be honest, the only thing keeping me going is revenge, and that’s a hell of a lot better than being dead.”

Silence fell between them. Danse had no idea what to say to all that. On the one hand, he was perfectly happy with the destruction of a dangerous underground movement such as the Railroad, and on the other, the parallels between his and Deacon’s story were not lost on him. Danse knew that the right thing to do was to decline Deacon’s offer - possibly even take the synth sympathizer down with him before he caused any more harm - and continue with his plan to terminate his existence.

But Danse didn’t want to die, or whatever one would call it when a synth ceased to be. And more than that, he didn’t want Nate to keep on living. There were hundreds of people on that ship - men, women, children . Not all of them were good, Danse was well aware of the unsavory types that were often attracted to the military lifestyle, but none of them deserved to die the way they did only to end up buried hundreds of miles from home in a mass grave.

Maybe it was selfishness, maybe it was revenge, maybe it was raw, human (or at least human-like) emotion, but Danse finally came to his decision with a decisive nod of his head.

“Okay.” He said. “Tell me what you need me to do.”

15 notes · View notes

dreamcatcherfication · 5 years ago

Text

Ghosts Are Just as Real as You and Me - Part 7

*Lifts cowbody hat and spits out toothpick* It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Hello everyone! Sorry for that dramatic one liner, but it has been a while! Two weeks to be exact, and I was pretty cruel to leave you all on such a cliffhanger. But not to worry, I’m back! If I had to guess I’d say we’re about halfway through this fic, but I can’t say for sure how long it’s going to be. But thank you for sticking around this long, and I hope you enjoy this installment! This part delves into a lot of pyschology, and I won’t spoil it, but you’ll (hopefully) understand by the end. Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, they only thing I ate today was a chicken sandwich, and that was it - my body functions are nonexistant.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas. If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Original Prompts

Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, self-loathing/self-desutructive tendencies, (very vague) allusions to sexual abuse, references of violence (stab wounds), attempted accidental self-harm, hospitals

The hospital was stark and white, the rhythmic beeping of machines the only sounds in the crowded room. Sitting in the pristine bed was Kit, her hair splayed out across the white pillows and her eyes shut peacefully. If it weren’t for the IV in her arm and the bandages on her side, she would’ve looked like she was sleeping. Around her bed in an almost cult-like circle were the five other queens, all with varying looks of concern.

Hunching over the bed was Aragon, her eyes closed as she most likely prayed for the safety of the girl in front of her, a last ditch effort in making sure she would be okay. Henry hadn’t been lying when he said he was coming for Kit first, and they had learned that the hard way. To Aragon’s side was Cathy, her eyes scanning each of the queens for any possible tells. Her eyes were red-rimmed, although it was impossible to tell if it was from unshed tears or sleep deprivation.

On the other side of the bed was Jane, her eyes nervously darting from Kit to the other queens. Every time she would make eye contact with Cathy, her eyes narrowed at the suspicion on her friend’s face. She would be more concerned with Cathy’s paranoid behavior if Kit wasn’t lying half dead in the bed before them. Anne was at Jane’s side, her head in her hands. She was tuning out the rest of the world, mumbling unintelligible phrases to herself and periodically wiping tears and snot from her face. She was torn up over Henry’s attack, but none of the other queens had it in them to go and comfort her.

Standing at the foot of the bed was Anna, her eyes staring directly at Kit’s unmoving body. She was still, her mind silent and her body unwavering, just like Kit’s. Her arms were crossed subconsciously as her mind refused to believe what was in front of her. If she didn’t accept it, it wasn’t reality. Right?

The uncomfortable silence was broken by Cathy as she stared directly at Anne. “What happened?” she demanded. When Anne didn’t respond, Cathy softened her tone and glanced back at Kit. The poor girl was pale and silent, but her heart rate was steady going. “Anne,” she tried again. Despite how paranoid Cathy had become, she still had feelings for Anne, and those weren’t going away. “Please,” Cathy let her eyes bore into Anne’s head, hoping that would catch her attention.

Jane, Anna, and Aragon watched on in silent pity as Cathy tried to get Anne to talk. The beheaded queen wouldn’t acknowledge her, and continued with her mutterings. “Anne,” Cathy kept saying her name. “Anne, do you want to tell them about the journal, or do you want me to do it?”

Anne’s head shot up at those words, her eyes going wide. “You know?”

“I know enough,” Cathy confirmed, leaning forward. She was going to get her answers from Anne.

With Cathy’s inquisitive eyes and the other queens’ confused ones, Anne felt her anxiety grow. “It’s not what you think.”

“Then tell me what it is,” Cathy shot back. Jane and Aragon were watching on like they were in a tennis match, and Cathy was winning.

Swallowing thickly, Anne bowed her head and watched her hands. “The first night Kit saw Henry… he came to me. Not - in person,” she cleared up at the shocked faces of the others. “He said that he would kill her if I didn’t help him.”

“So you’re helping him?” Aragon asked.

Stumbling for words, Anne tried to say, “Yes, but no -”

Cathy cut her off, “You can’t say yes and no, it has to be one or the other.”

“I don’t want to help him,” Anne whispered, unable to face Cathy.

Huffing, Cathy sat back in her chair at Kit’s bedside. “Wanting and doing are two different things, Anne. I saw you going into her room when no one was there. What was that for?”

Playing with Kit’s bed sheets, Anne’s voice croaked, “I was trying to help her. Henry said he had eyes on her at all times, and I thought he might have cameras.”

“Henry can see our every move?” Jane asked, her back straightening.

“I don’t know,” Anne shrugged, her arms falling uselessly to her sides. “But he’s coming after Kit, and I’m not going to let him hurt her.”

It was impossible for Cathy not to admire Anne’s commitment to her cousin, but it still left a pit in her stomach. “I think you should leave,” Cathy stared at Anne.

The beheaded queen’s head rose so that she could see Cathy. “What?”

Sighing, the writer turned her eyes to Kit once again. “Right now, I don’t think you’re the best person to be here.”

Anne stood up. “But I’m her cousin.”

“And you’ve been helping the man who stabbed her.” All the other queens refused to watch the argument, finding anywhere but Anne and Cathy to look.

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, Anne gave up, defeated. She shot one last glance at her cousin before making her way out of the room. Jane was the only one who turned her head to watch the other girl go. “I’m going to see if she’s alright,” Jane mumbled, standing up and following after Anne. Cathy, Anna, and Aragon said nothing, but each of them felt most of the tension leave the room as soon as Anne was gone.

In the bed, Kit’s body shivered, and then went still again. Her heart rate had picked up momentarily, but it was so small that only Anna noticed it. Shutting her eyes tight, Anna breathed in deeply, hoping to ease the tightness in her chest. “I’m going to go too,” she told the other two, “Tell Kit I was here.”

Without another word, Anna was out of the room, boots making a light clacking sound against the tile floor. Cathy and Aragon watched her go, attention diverted from Kit. “You should go after her,” Aragon urged.

“And leave you alone with Kit?” Cathy frowned. “What if she wakes up?”

Aragon shrugged. “I can handle it. But go talk to Anna before she disappears.” Taking her godmother’s advice, Cathy stretched out of her stiff chair and left the room in pursuit of Anna. She would’ve liked to think her intentions were pure, but the writer knew better. She had been suspicious of Anna’s behavior ever since they discovered Henry was back, and this was the perfect opportunity to investigate her. Cathy was going to get her answers, or she would die trying.

Anne had her head down as she exited the hospital. It was cold outside, and not a lot of people were out and about. “Anne, hold on,” a voice called from behind her. Turning around, Anne exhaled as Jane made her way over to the sidewalk Anne was standing on.

Putting her hands in her pockets, Anne asked, “What do you want?”

“How are you doing?” Jane probed. Her voice was soft, but Anne wasn’t convinced it was genuine.

Waiting for her arms to warm up, Anne answered, “Not great. My cousin was stabbed by my bastard of an ex-husband and it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is completely my fault.”

The two queens fell into an awkward silence. The self loathing was radiating off of Anne as she berated herself internally for what happened. If only she had been able to beat Henry first. If only she had acted quicker, Henry wouldn’t have hurt Kit. If only, if only.

Picking up on Anne’s frustration, Jane offered, “Would you like to tell me the full story?”

Again, Anne was confused. “What do you mean, you heard it all in there.”

“There must be more,” Jane’s speech was patient and steady. “You wouldn’t have hesitated so much if there wasn’t more. You can tell me, Anne.”

They both played it off like neither of them had any ulterior motives, but silently they both understood. Anne needed to get everything off her chest, and Jane was desperate for any knowledge she could get on Henry’s motivations. They both needed each other, so they ignored the obvious warning signs. Anne started to spill everything. “From the moment Henry asked me to help him, I wasn’t going to do it. There’s no way I’m helping him and his plan.”

“Then why did you do it?” Jane questioned.

Groaning, Anne’s hands moved wildly as she tried to find something to do with them. “It was supposed to be a cover. I was going to be a double agent, almost. I was playing a long game. Get him to trust me and tell him lies so that I’m one step ahead of him. But he came out into the open and attacked us before I could even try to fight back.”

Nodding in understanding, Jane put a hand on Anne’s arm. “So there wasn’t much you could do?”

“There wasn’t anything I could do,” Anne spit at the ground. “And now Kit’s suffering because of me.”

“Anne -” Jane tried to reach out to her.

Pushing away the other queen, Anne started walking away, her pace faster than normal. “It’s my fault Jane. I can’t be around you unless you want to get hurt.”

Freezing in place, Jane watched as Anne stormed off to go let out some steam. Jane sighed and put her head in her hands, a pressure weighing down behind her eyes. How was any of this going to get better? Jane feared the answer was simply that it wasn’t. Things were going to get much, much worse.

There were very few people in the hospital hallways, probably because Kit’s room was on the top floor. There were less patients around, and therefore less doctors than in the emergency rooms, and less visitors coming and going. Anna counted her blessings as she passed door after door, looking for an elevator or stairs to get her out of the building. It was like a maze and it was stressing Anna out.

She turned a corner and almost yelped when Cathy appeared right in front of her. “Cathy, what are you doing?” Anna asked, trying to push past her.

Cornering Anna, Cathy set her gaze. “You need to tell me what’s been going on with you.”

Panic set in on Anna, but she pushed it out in order to keep a cool exterior. “Nice try. Aragon’s already tried that, and I’d appreciate if you left me alone.”

“Yeah, well I’m not Aragon,” Cathy countered, not budging. “So are you going to continue being shifty after Anne’s meddling or are you going to tell me the truth?” The tension between them was unnatural. Neither queen was acting how they usually would - Cathy was far more aggressive than her typical observing self, and Anna was far less open than she often held herself. It only worked to heighten their nerves.

Attempting to push pass Cathy and failing, Anna groaned. “Have you ever heard of boundaries?”

“Boundaries are irrelevant at a time like this,” Cathy shot back. “If Henry is watching us, then it’s stupid to be infighting and keeping secrets. So tell me what you’re hiding.” Anna didn’t miss the feral glint in the back of Cathy’s eyes. The queen was driving herself crazy with paranoia and her lack of knowledge. She needed to know everything, and if that meant forcing it out of Anna, she would.

With one final look at freedom, Anna gave up and leaned against the wall. “I’m going to find Henry first.” At Cathy’s blank stare, Anna elaborated. “I’m sick and tired of watching him hurt people. I did nothing in our first life, and I can’t - I can’t sit idly by again Cathy, I can’t.”

Narrowing her eyebrows, Cathy wasn’t completely convinced. “So why are you pulling away from us? How could that possibly help anyone but Henry?”

“Because,” Anna reasoned, “it’s the only way I’ll be able to beat him. If I focus on getting stronger, if I focus on finding him, it’ll pay off.”

“I always thought you were a pacifist,” Cathy commented, crossing her arms.

Cringing, Anna’s eyes darted to the ground before rising again. “I am - I was,” she lacked confidence in her words, but spoke them anyway. “Someone has to protect us. Someone has to make sure that he won’t hurt us again, and if that person has to be me, then so be it.”

With hidden concern, Cathy muttered, “You do realize how self destructive that is?”

“I realize that it’s what needs to be done. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Anna pushed past Cathy. This time, the writer let her go. Her curiosity was satisfied, but she wasn’t sure it had done her any good. If anything, it had only added more problems. Anna was refusing to work with the group, Anne was working with Henry, Jane was lying, Aragon didn’t want to get involved, Kit was in the hospital - It was all so much. Cathy closed her eyes and sunk to the floor.

The next thing she knew, the writer was passed out on the floor, exhaustion finally taking over her body.

The room felt a lot less stifling when it was only Aragon and Kit. The unconscious girl made surprisingly good company, her soft presence helping to ease Aragon’s anxieties, despite how ridiculous it seemed. By any means, seeing the beheaded queen unconscious because of a stab wound should have stressed Aragon out further, but it didn’t.

“Why is everything falling apart?” Aragon whispered to Kit, knowing full well the girl wouldn’t respond. She listened to the silence, taking that as an answer. “I think it’s because we’re all so scared. We’re acting like we did after first waking up here. We keep getting hit where it hurts the most and… that’s how Henry will win, isn’t it?”

Instead of a proper response, the only sound Kit made was a groan, followed by silence. “I hope you’re okay Kitty, I know it must hurt,” Aragon put her head in her hands. “I can’t believe he would do this to you. He wasn’t always like this.” Aragon put a hand on Kit’s and rubbed her thumb over the back of Kit’s hand.

Kit mumbled in her passive state, but none of the words were coherent until, “Stop.”

Pulling away, Aragon sighed and hunched over next to Kit. “I’m sorry -”

Before she could continue, Kit’s voice rose, “Not again, not again.”

“Kit?” The girl’s strange behavior was starting to worry Aragon.

Rolling around in the bed, Kit shook her head repeatedly. “Not there, get away, get away.” Her voice was breaking, her face scrunching up.

Making a split second decision, Aragon hopped out of her chair and started to shake Kit awake. The doctor had told the queens not to wake Kit up, that they would have to wait until she came to on her own. But if something was wrong, Aragon wasn’t going to leave the girl trapped in her mind.

It took quite a bit of shaking, but eventually Kit shot out of the bed, lurching forward. She let out a small scream of pain, hand moving to claw at her stab wound. Seeing Kit’s movement, Aragon grabbed Kit’s wrist to keep her from causing herself harm. “Ah!” Kit yelled, falling back against the hospital bed. Her eyes were dilated, but as she focused on Aragon, they shrunk in size. “Catherine?” she questioned.

“Hey Kit, it’s me,” Aragon smiled, releasing the girl’s hand.

Moaning in pain, Kit’s eyes drifted around the room. “Where am I? What happened?”

“You’re in the hospital, you were stabbed.”

And in that moment, Aragon could see all the memories rush back to Kit. She gasped and put a hand to her head, eyes dilating once again. “I… this isn’t good.”

“What, what isn’t good?” Aragon kneeled next to the bed.

Pulling Aragon closer to her, Kit stared into her eyes. “Henry’s been planning this the whole time.”

“Kit,” Aragon spoke calmly, “We’ve known that for a while -”

“No,” Kit cut her off, “Don’t you get it? Henry’s not the real enemy. We’re the enemies. He’s getting us to fight each other. And we’re falling for it.”

-----------------------------------------

Tag List:

@radcowboyalmondtree @boleynhowards @annabanana2401 @babeebobo @dont-lose-your-queerhead @everything-insanity @mindless-pidgeon @i-wanna-dance-and-sing-six @thenicestnonbinary @its-totes-gods-will @thatbolxyngirl @thenameisnoone @sixqueendom @frogs-in-clogs @obliviousasheck @theatergirl06

#six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fic #six fanfiction #six fanfic #sixfic #ghosts are just as real as you and me #part seven #thank you for sticking around!#im really trying to focus on moving the plot forward #so we don't keep getting exposition chapters #i dont have much to tag so #please enjoy!#it sounds like there are a lot of trigger warnings #but they're all very brief/minor #i just wanted to make sure they were there

80 notes · View notes

confusedindigo-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Entry #2

Today was another day... Waisted. Having been sick for almost a month now I dont know about going out much, doesn't help that my car's tags are up and I don't have insurance right now as well... AHHHHHH, life is hitting like a ton of bricks right now. Doesn't help that I'm all confused about a gender identity now. Or I think I am. idk nowadays.

I've done some self reflecting as to how I have been my whole life and also how I've lived since I've came to the thought of maybe being trans or gender fluid. I came to realise, I don't know the first thing about any of this. Ive lived my life so shy and reserved ive never explored anything about myself in depth, weather it be gender identity, sexual orientation, spiritual beliefs or lack there of. None if it. Not a thought. And if I did have peirods of experimentation like with my sexuality. I would either shrug it off and ignore it or tell myself "this isn't normal". And lately I've started to realise that nothing is normal so who cares... ( I do, thats who). As much as I try to have this attitude I just live my life reserved in fear. Especially from what my family will say. I'm sure some of them would be ok with the idea of me being bisexual. But if I even bring up the thought that maybe I might think I might be another gender or anything along those lines, they would probably disown me or worse. That is part of the reason I started this tumblr. Hopefully I find some people out there with maybe the same issue($) and can start a dialogue. One can hope anyways.

The thought lingered in my mind for a while today about being gender fluid. And I started to think about other things like health and how I'm taking care of myself lately. I know that these questions ive been asking myself just perplex me more and more because to me it doesn't make sense. So to help clear up my mind for a month straight I'm not going to drink/do drugs. Now I don't really do drugs, I used to a bit back in the day but mainly psychedelics. However, nowadays I'm more straight and narrow. I'm not really into that anymore. My main vice has been weed. And since I turned 21 recently I've had the option to drink. And I've smoked regularly and drank maybe once a week if that since I turned 21(not recently since ive been sick). So I've decided that, starting Tuesday, I will go sober for a full month.

... However there are some other things I plan on excluding from my routine this month other than the beer and grass. For one, I plan on fasting for at least a week starting tomorrow. I'm pretty big so I'm going to try and see how fasting works for me. Just as well I'm hoping that once I'm done with my fast that I can portion control correctly. Its all mind over matter! And the most important thing for me since I feel like o have the biggest problem with it is I'm going to do a month long no fap challange. I wouldn't say I indulge too much. I'd say I masturbate at least once a day, not more than that usually unless there is a substantial gap like morning and night. But I don't even think the masturbation is the issue. I'm going to also abstain from watching porn for the month. If at the very least that is my main goal. I feel like not only has porn made me more confused about my sexuality but I feel like I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't tried to quit watching before. But every time I find myself back in the same position. And who knows maybe no fap will regulate some things for me mentally and ill be able to have some true self reflection.

That is my only hope and goal out of any of this.

True

Self

Reflection

Anyways, as much as this is supposed to be a personal thing for me to vent if you stuck around and read the whole thing thank you and I appreciate you

Peace, love, and have a magical Monday 😁

#journal entry

2 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 7 years ago

Note

The mixtape thing is hard for me to see as a romantic gesture only- In Stranger Shings, Jonathan Bayers gave a Mixtape to his little brother, In Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter Quill got his Mixtape from his mother-So it seems that can be a family thing too?And we and the show, claim that Castiel is family- I would love it to be pure romantic love thing,but with many mixtapes showing up as a family affair it is hard

Hi there! First of all, my intent behind this reply is one part mild exasperation, one part humorous jibing, and maybe two or three parts coffee (It took a lot of coffee to drown out the part that just wanted to delete this in a fit of less-than-mild exasperation, but I just want to assure you that this reply is in no way intended to be mean-spirited or condescending, and I hope you don’t take it that way).

For my second disclaimer, I’d like to make it known that I have seen neither of these things-- GotG or Stranger Things-- but because I don’t live under a rock, I at least know what they are. So if I say something about them that people who are actually familiar with these things would take issue with, just know that I am not prepared for a meta debate on either GotG or Stranger Things, but that no ill is intended in referencing them here.

(for my third disclaimer, I’d like to again state how sad I am that meta writers need to paste these sorts of disclaimers on everything, but such is the way things go...)

Righto! I think we can get down to business now. :)

There has already been a very well-written defense of the mixtape as romantic as used in GotG and GotG 2, and how it even STRENGTHENS the romantic reading of the mixtape scene in 12.19. But being me, the post somehow didn’t make it into the proper tag on my blog, and despite trying to search for it multiple different ways, I can’t seem to find it anywhere... >.>

(additional disclaimer that I’m in the middle of a Death Migraine, so apologies for any lack of due diligence in linking relevant references... searching for things hurts my brain right now)

The gist of it was that the mixtape contained songs that Peter Quill’s parents listened to together, so the tape’s ORIGINS were without question romantically coded. Despite the fact that the movie opens with Peter’s dying mother giving him the tape (this was what happened, right? I’m not mistaken here?) as a gift of love from mother to son, from what I understand about the sequel, PETER TURNS RIGHT AROUND AND USES THE TAPE TO WOO GAMORA. Restoring the “romantic” associations the tape began with, imbuing the mixtape with a sort of “legacy of love.”

Did I get all that right?

This is EXACTLY what I was referring to in my post yesterday as the show’s history of using Led Zeppelin songs in explicitly romantic situations.

In the OPENING SCENE of 12.01, as Dean’s establishing his identity for a very confused and suddenly-alive-after-33-years Mary, this is what he tells her:

Dean: Listen to me. Your name - your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, you were born December 5, 1954 to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for work, and you bounced right along with him and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.Mary: How do you know all that?Dean: Dad told me. March 23, 1972 you walked out of a movie theater, Slaughterhouse-Five, you loved it. And you bumped into a big marine and knocked him on his ass. You were embarrassed and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So you went to, uh, Mulroni's, and you talked and he was cute, and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number you gave it to him even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that you met-Mary: John Winchester.Dean: August 19, 1975 you were married, in Reno, your idea. Few years later I came along, then Sammy.Mary: Then I burned. How long have I been gone?Dean: Thirty-three years.

SHE GAVE JOHN WINCHESTER HER NUMBER BECAUSE HE KNEW ALL THE WORDS TO EVERY LED ZEPPELIN SONG. IT WAS A FLIRTATION. IT WAS THE FOUNDING STONE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

LED ZEPPELIN LYRICS.

EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC.

Not only that, but we know that Dean has known this story his whole life. As if Mary (who had died long ago when he was a child, just like Peter Quill’s mother) had given him a reason to love these songs, too. For Dean they weren’t just ///romantic/// coded, but a link to that happier and more innocent time from his childhood, where his life was normal and his mom cut the crusts off his PBJ and gave him pie. From a time when Dean thought life could even be normal at all.

So, not solely romantic, but absolutely romanticized. Or idealized, at least. These were memories he clung to like a koala as his life fell to pieces after Mary died. He remembered that old life as only a child could, through rose-tinted soft-focus, reinforced by John’s vague and infrequent recounting of his memories of Mary.

(remember in 3.09, how 9-year-old Sam complained that they NEVER talked about mom? and how upset Dean became when Sam probed him for more information? And even in the pilot episode Sam said something about never being able to get mom back, and Dean threw him against the bridge pillar and told him to NEVER say stuff like that about Mary... I mean, it’s HEAVILY implied that talking about her AT ALL was something that just didn’t happen, but when it did, it was the sort of memory Dean referenced in his speech in 12.01... those were the “important details” he’d memorized... and maybe that entire description of their first meeting hadn’t even been John’s words at all, but things Dean had been carrying in his own mind since he was a child-- something Mary might’ve told him herself before she died, since that bit of Dean’s story is related back to Mary in Mary’s own pov.)

The show has also lampshaded the use of Led Zeppelin as a sexual overture, in 2.02:

Jo: You know, I thought you were gonna toss me some cheap pickup line. Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some... pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV.

Jo had been expecting Dean to hit on her, and it’s implied all the way up through her appearance as a ghost in 7.04 that she’d WANTED him to hit on her, that she’d had a crush on him or was attracted to him... and the only reason she turned him down in 5.10 was because she didn’t just want the “last night on earth” fling with him... This was 100% a come-on.

And Dean’s two favorite songs? Ramble On (which yes, on the surface is a LotR reference, but the deeper message is the search for a lover), and Traveling Riverside Blues (which is 100% about sex... I mean... It’s just pure lust). Put together, they’re like the peak of Love and Lust. And being Dean’s two top favorite songs? I’d bet both of them are on that mixtape.

So back to the point with the GotG reference. It not only does not invalidate Dean’s gift of the tape to Cas as a romantic gesture, but REINFORCES the romantic nature of the gift.

These songs that united Peter’s parents, which his mom left to him after she died, and eventually he uses to romance someone he’s in love with...

If Peter had turned around and given the mixtape to another relative, or to a friend he had no romantic interest in, then I would’ve given you this example. But that is explicitly NOT what happened. Sorry. When taken in the larger context of the entire story around it, saying the mixtape there was only about a mother’s love for her son is being deliberately obtuse. Context matters, and taking that one link in Peter’s mixtape chain out of the larger interconnected story is cherry picking.

So that leaves us with ONE SINGLE EXAMPLE (which I won’t argue with because I have not seen Stranger Things and therefore have zero context with which to debate what you stated about it) OUT OF THE ENTIRE CANON OF HUMAN STORYTELLING in which a mixtape is used as a platonic or familial gift with no romantic coding whatsoever.

I’m going to go ahead and call the use of the mixtape in Stranger Things THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. This was the subversion of the standard trope.

I asked Mr. Mittens and kidperson (who HAVE watched Stranger Things) what the context of the mixtape was, just so I could have a general idea. Apparently it was given to a younger brother by an older brother as a sort of “This is important music that you need to know to be cool” sort of gift. Or maybe “music that is important to me.” Apparently the older brother was hospitalized for something at some point? So there was also this generalized feeling of “taking care of my little brother” aspect to it? I’m just spitballing on the like three things I know about ST, so no actual meta value is being ascribed to these statements.

But this is what really bothers me about your question, because this is something that’s been discussed since 12.19 aired, and I would like to put forth this argument:

The VAST MAJORITY of references to the gift of a mixtape in popular culture ARE EXPLICITLY ROMANTICALLY OR SEXUALLY CODED. The OVERWHELMING number of references over DECADES of storytelling simply cannot be invalidated by a SINGLE use of the mixtape in a non-romantic way.

PLUS: CONTEXT MATTERS. You can’t just say, “Dean gave Cas a mixtape, but because one time on one show someone gave a mixtape to his brother, so therefore these situations could be identical, and it could be a gesture of brotherly camaraderie and not specifically romantic.” THAT IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT WHEN TAKEN IN CONTEXT.

The entire scene in 12.19 was framed, shot, and edited with multiple other romantically coded tropes. The absolute QUIET that settled over the scene (no background music, the only sounds those of their voices, speaking earnestly and emotionally to one another), the fact that we didn’t see Dean GIVE the tape TO CAS, but only Cas attempting to return the tape to Dean because his recent actions HURT DEAN. Dean was ANGRY that Cas had gone missing for a time and had ignored his calls, and had stormed off to his room in a huff. Cas’s response to this was to offer to RETURN the tape to Dean (now explicitly coded as a gift of love, because he worried that Dean may have withdrawn whatever feelings that had inspired the gift in the first place).

The fact that Dean can’t even LOOK at Cas because of his hurt, and yet picks up the tape and hands it back to Cas (in a shot that frames JUST THEIR HANDS PASSING THE TAPE like THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLS PAY ATTENTION PLS), and tells him, “It’s a gift. You keep those.”

I can’t believe people need me to spell out all the subtext in that one line, but here it is:

At this moment, the fact that the gift object itself is a mixtape is practically irrelevant, because THAT LINE ITSELF carries about nine miles of romantic subtext. In this context, the mixtape takes on the same narrative weight as Arwen’s necklace in Lord of the Rings. It’s a symbol of her immortality as an elf, AND a symbol for her heart. AND SHE OFFERS IT TO ARAGORN, AND THEN HE TRIES TO GIVE IT BACK BECAUSE HE FEELS HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT, BECAUSE HE’S ABOUT TO LEAVE HER TO GO ON HIS MISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD.

Sound familiar?

This familiarity IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS A VERY LONG-LIVED ROMANTIC TROPE.

The fact that the Macguffin in this case happens to be a Led Zeppelin mixtape in 12.19 only ADDS to the inherently romantically coded GESTURE of what happened in that whole entire scene, compounded by A DECADE of other romantically coded subtext between Dean and Cas.

*screams into the void and the apologizes to the void and tucks it back under its blanket*

There’s also the fact that we have no idea when, or under what circumstances, Dean gave that tape to Cas in the first place. We can only speculate that it may have happened after the events of 12.12, but honestly it could’ve been any time in the preceding ten years. For argument’s sake, let’s suppose it was a relatively recent gift, considering the circumstances under which Cas attempted to return it-- immediately after being confronted with his unexplained absence and Dean’s anger over it, and immediately PRIOR to his PLANNED BETRAYAL, his theft of the Colt, and his abandonment of Dean yet again... The circumstances under which Cas felt he might not ///deserve/// this specific token of Dean’s feelings for him involved betrayal of those feelings by virtue of his absence and abandonment of Dean (at least, he understood this much of what that tape seemed to represent to Dean).

*another disclaimer: I’ve been writing this for like four hours now, and my Death Migraine has progressed to the point where I need to not look at things for a while. I could keep going here, but I’m failing at basic human things like “being able to sit upright” and “not throwing up every time I open my eyes” so I’m gonna stop typing now*

*no wait, one more thing because I can type with my eyes closed*

Isn’t it amazing that we’ve now evolved to the point where instead of combing through the subtext to find romantically coded things in their interactions, folks are now actively scrambling to find ways to explain away the blatantly in-your-face romantically coded text? I mean... what have we come to here? When the more OBVIOUS and far more defensible read of the scene is the romantic read? And yet still there’s this scramble to suggest it could be non-romantic...

And do you know how these sorts of arguments all sound to me? I’ll let the Simpsons explain it for me:

youtube

#top 13 zepp traxx #the scheherazade of supernatural #apologies that this sort of goes incoherent at points #imma go lie down in a dark room for a while now and pray for death #Anonymous

160 notes · View notes

sunbaethehuman-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Indecisive - ( Pt. 1)

Yoongi Angst | Taehyung x Reader

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (coming soon)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader | Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, BTS x Reader, series

Author’s note: SECOND FANFIC AYYYYY. I’ve been writing this one since….. this summer maybe?? lol idk im lazy af and i still have other stuff to write. RLLY GOOD STUFF TOO. ive been into angst stuff lately bc i love to break my heart over n over again :’))) thats my kink guys!!! getting my heart broken!! haha jk im srry i will sto p anyways. I love yoongi with all my heart,,,, but i also love taehyung with all my heart so i was like WHY NOT AHAHAHA bias vs bias wrecker ok now i’m overdoing this author’s note thing im srry pls enjoy btws i posted this without rlly reviewing it so YEAH LETS GET IIIIIIT

“Ew, what kind of face is that?” a low voice asked, looking at the screen on the phone you were holding up, the front camera facing you and raven haired male that sat next to you as you took a selfie. You had your face scrunched up, eyes rolled up to the point where the only the whites of your eyes were shown, you clicked the camera shutter.

“What’s wrong with silly pictures?” You pouted and turned to your date. As he looked back at you, he scoffed, “you call that silly? That’s more ugly than it is silly.” His tone was serious but you knew his humor consisted of roasts.

You couldn’t help but laugh and playfully hit his shoulder, “Okay, okay. We’ll take a good one.” Your hand still in position, you smiled at the camera showing teeth, while the young man smirked. Click. “There we go.” You cooed. The lights began dimming, indicating the movie was about to begin so you put your phone away.

You were amazed by the fact you were able to ask Yoongi out on a date to the cinema. You weren’t sure how to go about it but you asked your best friend, Taehyung for advice, he seemed weird about it but eventually he said to just go for it. You and Yoongi were good friends to begin with but you felt something else go on between you two (a lot of sexual awkward tension to be exact). For a while, neither of you acknowledged it, knowing it could possibly ruin your friendship, and that’s something the neither of you wanted.

Deciding to see a romantic comedy, Yoongi was first against it, but it was the only thing you could stand watching. Horror wasn’t your cup of tea, so Yoongi let it slide. To your surprise, you heard Yoongi laughing along beside you. Looking at him laughing, you couldn’t help but smile too.

Then, a sudden burst of happiness hit you. It was weird–it would happen from time to time and it’d come at the most random times. The feeling was strong and passionate that just couldn’t be ignored.

“Hey, Yoongi…” you began, but you stopped. Yoongi’s phone was vibrating in his pocket. As the screen lit up, his eyebrows knitted together, “ahh, what can I do..” he flashed his phone at you, “it’s Suran. I’ll be back.” Answering his call in a low whisper, he got up from his seat and walked while crouching, trying not to block people from veiwing the movie and walked outside of the movie theater.

All of your firey passion was gone in an instant. Your heart’s content was quickly replaced with sadness. ‘Why am I being like this..? It’s not like he’s leaving.. Ohmygod. Am I jealous?’ You felt frustrated about your own feelings. ‘No! I can’t be. They’re both my friends.’

Holding a burdensome conversation with yourself, a voice whispered into your ear, “I’m so sorry,” it was Yoongi. Making you snap out of the lonesome quarrel, you turned your head towards him, “Suran is… in need of my help. I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

To your understanding, you nodded, “alright. No worries, I hope everything’s fine..!” and with that, he rushed back out.

Trying to keep your cool, you sunk into your seat, ‘they’re both my friends… then why am I feeling like this?’ you could only ask yourself that same question over and over.

‘Next time, maybe?’ you asked yourself. The autumn night breeze blew your hair, chilling your cheeks and runny nose. The hoodie you wore under your jean jacket kept you warm. After Yoongi left, you had been in a sour mood and decided to leave without finishing the movie. You felt like you needed to take a walk, and that’s what you did. It felt nice to have some time to yourself and sort out these senses.

Getting home, you plopped down onto your bed, spreading your limbs out. Staring at the ceiling, you contiplated whether or not to text Yoongi. And after many debates, you finally decided yes. Pulling out your phone from your purse and clicking the message app, you picked Yoongi’s contact.

YOU: Hey, how is Suran doing? Is everything okay?

After a few minutes, you recieved a reply.

Yoongi-nie: Hey, everything’s fine, I guess. her boyfriend broke up with her so she needed my moral support… how was the movie? sorry i didn’t stick around long enough to see the ending. did they end up together?

YOU: oh no that’s terrible. HE DIDN’T DESERVE HER. HE’S AN ASS. I got her back, tell her that. and the movie was good. :) you lied guess we gotta redo this lil date so you can find out for yourself! haha

The reply from Yoongi took a little longer than you had hoped.

Yoongi-nie: Date? i didn’t know this was a date… i thought we were only hanging out….

What–. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Your heart was pounding hard against your chest.

YOU: Oh, hanging out? lol then do u want to go on a date sometime with me…?

At that point, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. Turning your screen off, you screamed while throwing your phone to the other side of your bed. The anticipation and anxiety began to build. “WHY DID I DO THAT? JEEZ, FUCK. OHMYGOD. NOOO. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK–” Ding! You received a message.

Quickly crawling to the other side of your bed, you flipped over your phone and rushed to unlock it.

Yoongi-nie: No. Sorry. I don’t like you like that. I always thought I treated you like my annoying little sister, but I don’t want to keep leading you on. I’m sorry but I don’t feel that way.

Your heart sunk. It was the end. Honestly, you didn’t know what you were expecting. Your life isn’t like the romantic comedies. You weren’t going to get the boy. It happens.

YOU: Ahhh. Okay. Sorry, I misunderstood. I probably made you feel uncomfortable. Thanks for telling me the truth, though. I really appreciate it.

Yoongi-nie: Are you okay? I don’t want you to be depressed or anything.

At this point, your heart felt destroyed.

YOU: OMG. Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. I just need some time if that’s okay.

Yoongi-nie: Take all the time you need. Again, I’m sorry.

YOU: Don’t apologize. It’s okay, seriously. Goodnight.

Yoongi-nie: Goodnight.

Recieving that last text, you set your phone on silent and played music. You didn’t think playing your favorite songs could make you feel so sad.

———————————————————————————————————–

The next day felt draining. Although you didn’t have work, your morning wasn’t as enjoyable as it could’ve been. Doing what you usually do on your day off, you jumped into the shower. Since you had no plans of going out, you only changed into comfy sweats and a t-shirt, and tied your hair up into a pony-tail. Next, you cleaned your apartment while listening to music that blasted through your speakers. It was a good distraction until you heard a knock at the door.

Turning down the music, you took a look at yourself in the mirror that hanged in the hallway before the front door and moved away misplaced strands of hair out of your face then opened the door.

It was Taehyung wearing his baggy tan hoodie and ripped blue jeans. He had what seemed like bags filled with food in his hands. “Good morning!” He smiled. You were able to keep it together since the night before and all morning but for some reason, seeing your best friend’s face made you break into tears. “Taaaaaehyuuuuung..!” you sobbed.

The brunette’s smile was wiped off with concern and confusion, “woah, woah what happen?” He closed the door behind him and placed the bags onto the table before wrapping his lengthy arms around you.

His warm embrace made you cry into his chest even harder and hug back. All that was heard were muffled sobs. “There, there.” he said softly, stroking the top of your head. He was patient with you, he always was. And it was rare to see you cry, Taehyung knew you were a strong when it came to your feelings. Stress, frustration or even just sad movies never made you cry.

After a few minutes of ugly sobbing, you stepped back, letting go and looking up at him through your blurry vision. Taehyung looked back into your eyes and only chucked, “well that’s a sight for sore eyes.” cupping your cheeks, he wiped away your tears as you sniffed. “Are you ready to tell me what happen?”

The only response you gave him was a slow nod. Tired of standing at the door, the both of you moved the conversation to your living room, where you told him about your heartbreak.

You sat at one end of the couch in a little ball while Taehyung sat at the other end. “Ahhh… this is so embarrassing…” you sighed, rubbing your eyes and sniffed.

“Why are you embarrassed? These are your feelings. There’s nothing you should be embarrassed about.” Taehyung comforted.

You sighed once again, “ah… why did I have to fall for Yoongi? I should’ve just fallen for you instead. We’re practically married,” leaning your head against the leather cusion of the couch and giggled.

Only a corner of Taehyungs lips lifted, “that’s food for thought.” He leaned over and patted the closest limb he was able to reach, which was your foot, weird but it still felt comforting, “I don’t know what else to say but to move on–things like this happen. I don’t want to sound like a jerk and tell you this but it’s the truth,” he sighed, “and I don’t want you to keep bringing your hopes up for them to be suddenly broken down again.”

Taking a deep breath and rubbing your eyes before combing through your hair with your fingers, you looked at him, “aghhh, you’re right. I have to get over him…. and I’ll start by eating that food you brought–where it at?” you got off the couch and quickly walked to the table in the hallway where Taehyung left the bags.

Opening the bags, it felt as if the food itself was glowing and shinning on your face. Was there a choir of angels singing? Who knows but you could hear them loud and clear. All you could do was mischievously laugh to yourself, “oh, Taehyungie. You know me so well.” The bags were filled with all of your favorite snacks and drinks.

“I thought we could watch some movies and chill all day while eating junk food,” the owner of the low and husky voice popped in, watching you drool from the hallway.

You looked up at the direction it come from and smiled, “Taehyung, you have perfect timing.”

#bts #yoongi #suga #taehyung #kim taehyung #min yoongi #angst #bts angst #kpop #kpop angst #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #one shot #fluff #agust d #part 1 #BTS - Indecisive

80 notes · View notes

ghiblicottage · 8 years ago

Note

see for me it's weird like, i like porn (i'm trying to stop for religious purposes), but i don't feel sexual attraction to people?? ever?? how do those two things integrate??? am i demi?? idk man idk it's confusing

dude same like ive been in this cycle of “wtf am i” for months/years now and i still have nothing figured out its exhausting

oh man this is gonna be long ill just go on a rant of all thats been going on on my mind for all this time lmao this is way too personal but whatever if not here where am i gonna share any of this … so all my rambling under the cut for anyone curious about my experience with being ace (probably, idek tbh)

i just? don’t feel things toward people ? but sex & love are okay/appealing to me? but also how the fuck should i know if i like it ive never tested it

and theres this constant pressure of telling wether you like males or females and u like? both? neither? idk ?? i just dont feel any different toward them? can’t tell wether its because im attracted to both or none? i can tell wether people are pretty, gorgeous, pleasing to look at even hot? but? boobs, penis, butts, pussy all that shit is just the same for me i can look at them i get this big nothing inside me …

when i talk to my friends about it, okay im not blunt about it i try not to sound weird cause the real word is Judgy lmao but like id go “so like what’s sexual attraction for you?” and then theyd tell me “idk it feels kinda hot down there and shit when you look at someone hot” and yep none of that for me but then for the big Straights™ they are it’s obviously because im closeted gay or im just weird and prude you know, and on tumblr where the Gays are more vocal and share their experience i just cant relate either? so i just end up feeling like i fit in nowhere you know

kinda why itd be nice to have more asexual characters in popular media cause honestly im not here to explain over and over what it means to people who will only think that it makes you weird like yeah no thank you, so id like to be able to go like “you know that famous character ? yeah im like that too” and be done with it

ive come to define being ace as the opposite of bi, like we feel the same toward anyone as straight people feel toward the same gender and gay people feel toward the opposite one, if that makes any sense

but where do you go from there? sometimes ill get these fantasies about being in love and being in a relationship and being loved by someone and id be craving physical affection and hugs and just not feeling this void inside me but then i get confused as to wether or not i would be able to reciprocate any of that affection and if yes with who then? like what can i promise if i get in a relationship? are my feelings gonna be as deep as yours or is it just on the surface, if you wanna get physical how far am i gonna be able to go? i just got this endless list of questions going on and on and on its… exhausting

things like porn and smut, i think i like it but its more of a way to visualize things i dont know of i guess rather than something deeply exciting to me… im guessing people who really feel sexual attraction like it more, seeing all those naked people and stuff idk … like just when my brothers talk about “boobs” (okay theyre like 14 and 17 so not quite the reference but whatever) or when my friend talk about guys they find hot, i mean i can see that it’s sexual attraction they’re talking about and im just here yeah those are big stacks of meat but whatever you do you i guess

and when it comes to “love” i know that i want it you know i havent been fantasizing and getting all these butterflies over my ships since i was 10 for nothing, i crave this deep emotional connection, but also i cant seem to be able to feel it for anyone ? the closest ive gotten to a crush was when i was 14 and this guy said he genuinely liked me, as in liked my personality (because i got quite a few guys asking me out just for my looks who had never even talked to me and it always made me incredibly uncomfortable), and i got butterflies about it for like a day and a half lol but then it went away pretty quickly anyway and turned out he had a crush on my best friend which honestly didn’t even disappoint me… i think i just liked the idea of someone liking me for who i am you know. and i dont think ive ever felt anything like that for anyone since then so … i also have never fell for my girl friends which i heard is a thing commonly experienced by lesbians

and here comes the confusing part, because if im gonna watch porn id rather watch lesbian porn, het porn makes me uncomfortable more than anything its like always about the male gaze, male pleasure idk, and i know lesbian porn is pretty much always about the male gaze too unfortunately but at least it shows female pleasure you know… and also i feel like girls smile more in lesbian porn which i like better but im not an expert lmao, and AT BEST id rather watch a good movie sex scene where ive been able to watch the people fall for each other first like in the handmaiden for exemple. But when it comes to fic/smut fic (and general shipping) i think i only ever read m/f ones, i think the idea of a guy falling in love with a girl is a thing i really love cause forgive me but irl guys dont seem capable of any emotions… SO what does that mean ?? wtf am i?? i dont fucking know smh

basically i guess all i can say is im on the ace spectrum and everything is confusing af, and im completely oversharing so feel free to ignore lmao but i thought maybe some confused ace over there might like to read about someone who has somewhat of a similar experience idk, id like that i guess, it’s kind of hard to find a place to fit in anywhere so its nice to feel a sense of belonging like we’re not alone or broken and all that

i hope i havent been too disrespectful or anything, also i kind of dont really like watching porn and, i mean its not like im a big consumer of it anyway, but im thinking of stopping too because this industry is incredibly hurtful to women and i think its good that you are trying to stop!

anyhow im embarrassed now lmao i cant believe im sharing all that but whatever here we go

#anon #asks #ace tag #i'm so here for people sharing there ace experience in my ask box #im completely over sharing lmao #if anyone feels like psychoanalysing me go ahead lol #please though dont send me hateful stuff cause i got bad anxiety about those #also ive always wondered if maybe those lack of feelings are realted to symptoms of depressions idk #Okay i need to stop #im gonna hide in the corner now goodbye

1 note · View note

clearsandwicheagle-blog · 6 years ago

Text

cheap online car insurance

"cheap online car insurance

cheap online car insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

RELATED QUESTIONS:

So how long and how much will this type of insurance cost ?

Will I go to jail for not having health insurance?

Looking for really cheap car insurance in ohio?

i am looking for really cheap car insurance in ohio for people with bad credit

Health insurance and pre-existing conditions.?

Hello, question. If I have health insurance now, find out I have a condition, then get a different job and change health insurance, am I in the pre-existing condition status with the new insurance? I'm curious because as of now the only reason I keep my health insurance is just in case as with any insurance and I don't want to have to pick up insurance after finding out something is wrong, as I understand it doesn't work that way, that's the catch. However, what if I find a condition while I have insurance, go off of it between jobs and get insurance back? Does that mess with things? Is there a way around it? Thanks""

CHEAP car insurance in US?

I am trying to find car insurance because i am about to lease my own car but all of the places I have looked at are crazy expensive. I even got a quote of $300 a month from geico. The other places i checked were all for the UK. Can somebody help me and suggest a cheap place to try?!

What is the Difference between a PRIMARY and SECONDARY type of driver on Insurance?

Was looking at Auto Insurance and was wondering what the difference is between being a Primary driver of a vehicle and a Secondary. Is it cheaper on insurance to be a primary if one driver has more years experience than another or does it matter at all? I gather being an occasional driver would make a difference on insurance though.

What the best cheapest 1 day van insurance in uk?

goin fron newcastle to glasgow tommorw n need the cheapest van insurance for a couple days going 10am n wanna come back 10/11pm

Pay as you drive insurance..?

What company's offers pay as you drive insurance? And is it any good? Or do you know any cheap insurance schemes or company's?

Low cost health care for an adult in California?

Could you tell me what kind of resources are available for a single male who makes $1,800 a month and needs affordable low cost health care coverage in California? What does the state offer if anything?""

Will doctors office workers lose jobs now with the new Affordable Insurance law?

Will more people lose jobs with the new law going into effect? How will those people find work now ? Will that add to our debt even more?

Car Insurance Company have had my car for OVER A YEAR.?

Ok, so this is a little complicated... Oct 2008 I had a car accident. My car was written off. My car was towed to a garage and was held there while the insurance company evaluated the damage. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW MY CAR. Because the size of my excess (800) and the amount of damage matched the value of the car (800) I was advised it would be pointless to claim on the insurance and it was written off. The accident was my fault and I held my hands up and admitted it and the other party walked away with everything sorted. No suggestion of fraud and certainly nothing fraudulent on my part. Towards the end of 2008 my insurance company started falling off the radar, not returning my calls or my emails, letters etc. I repeatedly asked what I was supposed to do next (I'd never had an accident before and the whole process confused me because they kept giving me conflicting info) and where my car was. I was ignored (or given incorrect info). In the end I declared a SORN on the car and had so much going on in my personal life, I forgot about it, knowing the car was off the road. Anyway, I'm now trying to track the car down as the SORN is about to run out. Insurance company are still off the radar and refusing to answer. Now they're saying they have no record of me, my policy OR my car. So I've lost my car, I don't know who's got it and yet I'm still liable for it. What can I do? Can I get the police involved? Trading standards? ANYTHING? I don't care about the car, whoever has it can keep it! I just don't want to be liable for it! By the way, the insurance company involved is SwiftCover.com, in case anyone is thinking of going with them because they're cheap. They're cheap because they're RUBBISH.""

Average cost for motorcycle insurance in massachusetts?

Does any one know what the average cost is to insure a motorcycle with normal driving record

How to get a hold of the drunk drivers insurance?

my car and 2 other cars were damaged by a drunk driver. his car flipped and crashed on the ground. they ran away as soon as they got helped out. the police came and all we got was a police report number. my question is my car is scratched and has broken windows/mirror. i am not going to pay for it to get it fix , why should i it wasn't my fault. how can i get a hold off the drunk drivers insurance and policy information. will the police contact me after they get all the information or do i have to contact them? sorry i have never had to deal with the insurance company or the police for any of this so i have no idea. if this matter i live in san diego california""

Mega life and health insurance?

What is the location of Mega Life and Health Insurance?

Which car insurance should i go with?

i've been with mercury insurance for many years now. but since i've never had to file a claim, i don't know how good they are. i got two lower quotes from esurance and response insurance. i don't know if i should switch. any experience feedback with your car insurance companies would be great.""

""Can't afford car insurance, parents won't help?""

OK im 17 and a guy. I passed my test about a month ago so i can drive :) My parents agreed that they would pay insurance for me if i paid for lessons and the car. Ive saved up for years and scrounged all the money i have and had just enough. Anyway i now only have 1500 left and i cant find any car insurance near to that. My dad keeps saying he will do it one evening but its been a month so i asked him today because he had nothing to do, and he just started shouting at me for always going on and i should go get a '******* job because im a lazy little ****'. This is pretty unfair as i work hard at school, get straight A's, never in trouble with the police like most people who live near and don't drink or do drugs unlike most my friends. How should i get him to pay for it, its not even though he's paying all of it, im putting up prob 60% of it and he promised to pay for all of it :(""

I need an eye exam but i dont have insurance.?

Do most eyecare centers accept patients without insurance? Where can I go that is affordable?

How much will Insurance Be ????;?

Ok I'm 22 and I'm looking for a car, It's between a: 2009 BMW X5 2009 BMW 328i 2009 Mercedes C250 2009 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 2008 Audi A4 2008 Toyota Tundra 2007 ...show more""

Student health insurance and graduation?

I purchased a years worth of student health insurance (aetna/chickering), but I am graduating right now..(late December). What happens now ? Will my insurance be canceled or will be cut if the unthinkable happens and the clinic tries to verify my insurance ?""

How does Progressive compare your insurance rates with top companies?

How is that possible? I've applied for Progressive quotes before (and wasn't impressed at all), but how are they able to do that? Insurance companies all have complex formulas that are used to calculate rates using several factors, including driving history, location, credit, household drivers, vehicles, etc. Unless they have robots online that steal competitors' bandwidth and automatically fill out the forms, it doesn't seem possible. If that was the case, you would think other companies would block Progressive from abusing their servers. Any ideas?""

What are california's car insurance laws?

Im a new driver and was wondering if its a type of insurance i need. I only have Liability on my car nothing else am i ok if i get pulled over and asked for proof of insurance??

""Fast, fwd or awd, reliable, manual car that's cheap on insurance?

I already thought of a few possibilities. RSX Base 5 speed 05-06 Mazdaspeed Protege Scion TC Legacy GT Celica GT (possibly gts) EXPENSIVE INSURANCE (I live in NJ) RSX type s WRX EVO Just looking for ideas. Preferably cars that are cheap on insurance and easy to mod.

How can i get birth control for cheap without insurance or medical card!?

so i'm 20 years old turning 21 in about a couple months in Illinois and i just recently became sexually active like three months ago... i'm worried about pregnancy so i was thinking about the pill but i dont have medical insurance and no medical card to pay for it.. does anyone know how much the first exam is and how much the pill is!? Or where i can go get help paying for these things?!

Adding a new driver to insurance.?

In Ontario, if a new driver was added to insurance on a 03 dodge caravan how much would it be about?""

What are the pros and cons of purchasing a car and leasing a car. Also how to purchase insurance.?

what are the pros and consof purchasing a car and leasing a car. And how do you purchase insurance?

cheap online car insurance

Who is the cheapest car insurance provider in Nichigan?

About how much car insurance does a first time 26 year old driver have to pay?

I need to know I lived in the city for many years and got by with public transportation so I never needed a car no that I have moved I need to buy a car, I hear folks says new drivers pay more..is this true of so how much more I plan to buy a used car for around 5-8 k directly no car loans""

What would be a rough estimate on a monthly insurance price for and 18 yr old kid with a '12 motorcycle?

I have no previous accidents or anything But I want a new ninja. Just a ballpark if you can

I would like to buy a car.How much is the price of the car insurance about? I am going to buy a 1300cc car.?

How will the affordable health care act help me? i dont want to buy health insurance. i havent been to a?

doctor in years and i have a substantial amount of money saved up in case of an emergency.

Car lot where i don't need full coverage insurance (47130)?

Is there a car lot (buy here pay here) that doesn't require you to have full coverage auto insurance in Jeffersonville Indiana 47130 or even Louisville ky. thank you.

Cheapest car insurance for 1.4L Polo - 17 years old.?

i have a 2001 Volkswagen Polo 1.4 Automatic i cant get any automatic small engine cars, the smallest is 1.4L, theres the 1.0L auto Vauxhall Corsa - but i don't want that, everyone has it. What company does the cheapest insurance? Quinn Direct have gone bust. UK""

What's an affordable health insurance?

I'm working part time but my company doesn't provide health insurance. Just looking for some ideas i'm young and healthy but would like a physical now and then.

How much is car insurance for 25 year old female?

Car insurance and business... HELP...?

Hi, I am 17 and am taking my test next week. I am also soon starting an apprenticeship (electrical). At this time I am not sure about transport (if I have to go to company and travel as van passenger or even driver) or if I have to make my own way to jobs. Whichever way a licence will help a lot. If I am just driving to work 4 days a week and college 1 then can I use Social, Domestic and pleasure + commuting to a single place of work or study ? and if I have to drive between jobs then I know I can not use this insurance (correct?) but when looking at business car insurance quotes they seem to be based on me owning the company (which I do not) so what insurance do I need and is there any responsibility on my employers to pay some or all of the insurance if I am driving between jobs? Please can you help... Thanks in advance.""

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 17 year old with a 01 Suzuki Katana 600 in Texas?

I am looking into getting one and want to know how much the insurance would cost.

Cheapest car insurance companies for boston area?

i am looking for a cheap insurance company my husband is buying a plymoth grand voyager tomorrow, a family pleasure driving only vehicle. what comapnies in the boston,cambridge chelsea, area is the best and cheapest?""

""If minors can't sign contracts, why can they get their own car insurance?""

If minors can't legally sign contracts, then why can we get our own insurance policies? The policies are way higher in price, but in Virginia, where I live, you can legally have your own insurance policy and insurance, separate from your parents. They don't have to sign anything, they don't even have to know that you have the policy. Statefarm, Progressive, Allstate, all of them do it.""

What is the best website to get cheap moped insurance ?

What's the best type of life insurance to buy?

Is term better than cash value? or vice versa?

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old girl?????

for the group 1 insurance cars. how much would it be? thanks

Which insurance company is the cheapest for people under the age of 21?

I am 19 and I'm looking to get a car, but I'm worried that I won't be able to afford the insurance plus the car payment... I live in Ohio and I would probably get minimum coverage. Does anyone know who is the cheapest company to go with?? Much thanks! =]""

Health Insurance Advice?

I'm currently laid off and need insurance for myself. I'm not sure what insurance company to go with. Also I'm not familiar with how health ins works. Like deductibles, co-insurance percentages, office visits covered or not covered. I don't go to the dr a lot but recently I've been in a car accident and will be going to the dr more often. I also don't want to pay that much either.""

Car insurance for someone under 25 arizona?

How much would car insurance be or the cheapest I live in arizona and drive a 1994 Saturn sl2

Can switching to geico really save you 15% or more on care insurance?

...............

Where can I find the best family health insurance coverage for the right price?

I am working for a small landscaping company that does not offer insurance. I am married with two kids, both under 2 yrs of age, and my wife has a pre-existing condition of asthma. Can someone help me find a good insurance coverage for a reasonable price and also accepts pre-existing conditions? Any idea on an average cost?""

How much is it to insure this car?

I'm 17, B student, took Divers Ed, and my grandpa and I restored a 1998 Mercedes-Benz SLK230 Kompressor. The only problem I see is insurance. Does anyone have an estimate of how much this will cost per year?""

What is the average time taken by an Insurance company to pay out on a car claim.?

I suppose it would depend on the nature of the damage to ones car and also who was at fault. However in my case, my car caught fire from what I believe may have been an electrical fault. It is now a total write off. I realise the insurance company has to carry out it's investigations but how long should this take and how soon would one expect to receive an offer. I made a claim 6 weeks ago and am still being fobbed off with the explanation that the investigations are on-going.""

""Should I wait until after I turn 25 next month to buy a car, since insurance will be cheaper?""

Basically, I'm wondering if I should wait until I'm 25 to buy a car, since then the insurance would be cheaper when I have to insure the car. Or does it really matter?""

Young Drivers: How much did you pay for car insurance?

Hello all, I'm trying to find out the average cost of car insurance in the UK or Ireland for a political debate on the subject and was wondering if young drivers (provisional license) could provide some. Thanks very much!""

cheap online car insurance

Hi I are v8 insurance more expensive than v6?

I'm getting a car soon and I can pick between an 08 bmw 528i v6 or 08 bmw 550i v8. I was wondering if insurance would be the same because there the same car. I live in California thank you.

Auto Insurance Question?

Hi all, I live in California and I got in a car accident yesterday. I found out today that the insurance company suspended our insurance due to a late payment so we most likely had no coverage at the time of the accident. What are my options at this point?? The accident was not my fault and the other driver was arrested for felony DUI and they had insurance. What are my options?? Thanks in advance!""

How much is the license reinstated fee for suspension from no car insurance?

Is it up to age 26 or through age 26 for insurance coverage on parent's plan?

With health care reform, young adults can now stay on their parent's insurance longer. Is it UP TO the day they turn age 26 or through the age 26 that they are able to have the coverage?""

Do I have to buy health insurance under Obama care?

I am a single mother 44 years old, I live with my 16 years old daughter in Colorado. I make about $ 24000 a year, my daughter and me are very health people and we never go to the hospital. We never buy health insurance before and have no idea about it. I heard under new law, I have to buy some kind of health insurance, anyone know which one has the lowest rate and how much we have to pay every month? many thanks.""

Anybody could give me a estimated how much money do a 18 years olds would pay for a car insurance a full cover?

Anybody could give me a estimated how much money do a 18 years olds would pay for a car insurance a full cover? He is going to buy a 2007 Dodge Durango SLT He will fianced the car on his name! The car is for my son. We live in the states of Florida ! If you guys can give me some information about a cheaper insurance Thanks!

How much would it be for a 20 year old male car insurance?

I am 20 , male in California driving a 2000 Honda civic how much will my insurance be ?? First time being under insurance . And please don't send me links trying to bribe me with your insurance . Please help""

Life insurance question?

If someone were to get life insurance in their twenties, how would that benefit them later in life when their old?""

Finding information about monthly payments?

I am currently looking to move out of my parents house and get an apartment with a friend of mine that is 45 mins away from my hometown. I am a sophmore in college and I would like to have the experience of living on my own for a couple years near my parents before I move thousands of miles away after college for my career plans. Now I am looking into my costs and spendings on living on my own. But the problem is I really don't want to talk to my parents about this until I get it all planned out. But I need to find out how much my car insurance, health insurance, life insurance, car payments (if there is still any), cellphone bill...and other expenses that I need to find out on a monthly basis to get an idea of what it will cost for me to live on my own because my parents pay majority of everything for me and I just been working and saving money for this opportunity to live on my own with a roommate or two or three (maybe). How can I find out this information when the expenses are not in my name but in my parents name? And without my parents finding out that I am looking at all this? Thank you!""

How long does it take to recieve a settlement from an insurance company?

my husband was in a car accident jan of 07 he hurt is back and hasnt been able to work as much as he used to. we filed a suit against the other drivers insurance company and we just now in sept of 08 got a settlement offer of 7,000! not to sound greedy but that seems like it's just enough to pay his medical costs?! it's been a long time i no that the insurance company wants us to settle for the least amount possible, but i feel like if we don't settle for this amoung were going to be waiting another two years! i'd like to hear from anyone who knows anything about this any advice on what we should do settle or wait? and if we do settle how long before we get a check? thank you..""

What car insurance do u have and how much do u pay?

my mom and my brother have progressive i think i might be in there too but the bill came over $2,000....we don't even make close to that much a month""

What is the cheapest insurance in north carolina on a car thats financed?

Where does the money go that everyone pays for car insurance?

If I pay $100 a month for car insurance for 20 years that's $24,000. I know 5 people in my family who pay approximately that so that's about $120,000. So with everyone who drives pays about that, where does all that money go? To pay for car wrecks? Government? What? (No, I've never had a wreck or used the insurance to pay for anything)""

How much is the fine for traffic violation 24250? What happens with insurance?

Basically, I just want to know currently, how much is a 24250 violation fine in California (San Jose). Also, do insurance companies take into consideration what the violation was when raising your insurance rate, or do they just look at how many points are on your record? Reading the rest of the question is not important, I just wanted to rant :P ---------- Here is what happened...had a long day, was starving, so stopped at a drive thru for food. Food took too long, so I turned off the engine and lights to save gas/battery. Forgot to turn lights back on. Drove about 100 meters where I got pulled over and the cop wrote me a ticket. Unfortunately, my circumstances did not make a difference and I got a ticket for not having my headlights on. Cop did not know the fine amount, the consequences, or even what category my violation was in. He thought it would not be as severe as a speeding ticket, so to teach me a lesson he gave me a ticket. If he just let me go with a warning, the same lesson would have been learned...just sayin'. Just looked it up...looks like it is just as bad as a speeding ticket, and a point will go on my driving record since I already had gone to traffic school for speeding June 08. Its completely unjustified for something this minor to be equivalent to speeding, but of course, the law has no compassion. Can't really do anything about it now...""

Will My Parents Insurance go up?

I'm a g1 driver, got pulled over for speeding, got slapped with a few other tickets, was wondering will my parents insurance go up

Does anyone know any cheap insurance companies for me.?

i got my boyfriend a street bike and its under my name so the insurance has to be under my name to.

How much will pay a 40 year old new driver car insurance?

Is there any insurance company that accepts sr22 insurance required cdl driver who need just bobtail insurance?

I have sr22 restriction on my cdl. And just bought my truck. Its really hard to find Bobtail insurance some ppl call it non trucking liability insurance because of my driving record or sr22 (I guess its samething). Is there any insurance company or agency out there who might accept?

Who is the cheapest auto insurance company?

i live in CT and all the big name companies i.e. geico, progressive, esurance that say they are the cheapest are expensive. anyone know of any actually cheap ones?""

Can I drive my brother's car under his insurance?

He's lending me his car and I was wondering whether it's legal for me to drive it under his insurance. He's fully insured and has a full licence, and I too have a full licence and insurance on my car that's being fixed at the moment. Does he have to add me to the insurance for the 5 days I'm borrowing or can I drive it under his insurance? What are the legalities here?""

Small Business Insurance?

I would like to know what is the best resource to help me find health insurance for my small business. Should I just go to an insurance broker or are there organizations (i.e. small business association) that can help me with that? Thanks!!

How to find cheap car insurance?

i m tired of paying too much on auto insurance,insurance companies charging 900$per six month,i m loking for cheap car insurance""

Do 'normal' car insurance companies insure exotic cars as well?

I've gone to multiple popular car insurance agencies websites and tried to get a quote for a Lamborghini, but in the drop down menu there is never an option for it. I'm beginning to wonder if they even do insure these kinds of cars?""

""17-19 year old UK drivers, How much are you paying for your insurance?""

I recently passed my test, I am 18 and now looking for insurance that is cheap. Well... it seems that they are absolutly Bludy expensive!. I mean the cheapest one I saw was about 4500 year! :O So how much are you paying? Who are you with? and Are you insured as a named driver or main driver of your/your parents car?""

Is it legal to be declined health insurance for this reason?

I applied with a major insurance company in California, am a single vegetarian in my mid/late 30s no children, extremely healthy never been diagnosed with anything, exercise regularly. I guess they dug up that I had taken a fertility drug in the past - I was never even diagnosed as infertile - it's a really cheap common drug that stimulates your ovaries to produce more eggs but I had no partner to get pregnant with so to was just something I got from a fertility doctor if I wanted to get pregnant with donor sperm. That's not even covered by insurance if I ever want to do that again and the drug's like $20 you can practically get it over the counter it's so common I know tons of women who use it. I didn't even apply for maternity care to be included in my insurance, just a basic policy. Is it legal for them to decline me because of this? So if a woman has a baby they are no longer eligible for insurance? Most women who get pregnant take this drug (including both my sisters) yet they still have insurance. Was it legal for the pharmacy to give them this info? I don't know how else they found out.""

cheap online car insurance

Where can i find individual health insurance?

Looking out for individual health insurance plans in India

Running red light- effects on car insurance?

I'm listed as the third driver on my insurance plan and I recently turned right on a red light and apparently didn't stop before as long as i should have. Needless to say I got 3 points and a 300 dollar fine. I'm with td insurance currently. How much can I expect the rates to go up?

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month?? How old are you?? what kind of deducatble do you have?? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and how you might pay any medical costs.""

How much will my insurance increase after a MINOR fender bender? (ballpark figure please)?

After 11 years of error free driving and on-time insurance payments, I managed to back into someone in a parking lot going about 1 mph. My car was NOT damaged, except for a scraped bumper sticker. The other driver had cosmetic damage only, and being the good guy that I am I gladly helped her navigate the insurance claim. I figured that if it was my car that was dented, I would want it taken care of. Do onto others, right? Anyway, the total payout of the claim was $556. That's roughly seven months of my premium payment. So, how much can I expect to see added to my yearly premium? 10%? 20%? more? Also, how long will it take to recover back to my previous rate? Finally, considering that I've paid this company much more than $556 over the years, how much of an increase should I accept before I start looking for a new carrier? This is technically my second insurance company - I was on my parents policy until I was 22 (I'm 27 now). So I haven't been with them forever, but I am not ready to jump ship unless they really screw me. Thanks!""

""Non owner SR22 insurance for TEXAS, what is a cheap website?

I don't own a car so I don't know what to do... Help! Thanks

Sex change car insurance?

If a man gets a sex change into a women with boobs and everything would he be then entitled to womens only car insurance?

How much is does it cost for insurance of a driving instructor (roughly)?

It is for my A-Level business coursework where I am producing a business plan to set up a driving school. It doesn't have to be exact. Regards

Top 5 or 10 florida health insurance providers?

top 5 or 10 best florida health insurance providers

I'm pregnant and have no insurance. What are my options?

I recently found out I am pregnant. I am 21 and a full time student in college. My boyfriend is willing to help as much as he can, but I feel like it still won't be enough. I want to know where do I find out how to get Medicaid. And what other options do I have? How do I get temporary insurance while I find out if I am eligible to receive Medicaid? Are their any special programs in Maryland that can help me? I am so confused if I should try asking the Department of Social Services or the Department of Human Health Services. Please help!""

How much would it cost to insure these cars?

How much a year would it cost to insure a: 57 reg Renault Clio 1.1L and a 57 reg Vauxhall Corsa 1.1L I'm 18, female live off the main road and the car would be kept on a driveway, i live in a quiet little village in Derbyshire, the insurance groups for both are group 1. It will be used to drive to and from college each day so around 20 miles a day, no enhancements on the car, cars have done 17,000 miles, i have had my license for 1 month. Thanks.""

Purchasing car insurance?

I want to find an online quote to see how much I may be paying for future auto insurance. But some sites ask for vehicle information. I haven't bought the car yet. But don't you need proof of insurance in order to purchase a car? I'm confused. How do I go about this?

Car insurance under my parents name w/o parents being present?

Hi, i live in Miami and my parents are currently out of state. I just bought a car and i need insurance in order to get the title. I was wondering if i can go under my parents insurance without them being present or if i can do it over the phone? also the car is a honda civic ex 99 and i am 19 years old. Its my first car and i have good credit, i am a university student with very good grades, and have not had any tickets or gotten into any car accidents. About how much will my insurance be? and would it be cheaper to be under my parents name, which i might add has been in a lot of car crashes, had a lot of tickets, bad credit, and jus has bad history, or would it be cheaper to just get it on my own??? thank you!!!!!""

What happens if you are in an accident that wasn't your fault and you have no insurance.?

question says it all LIVE : California.

How can I get car insurance for a classic car? And how much would it cost (roughly)?

I grew up loving classic mustangs, corvettes and camaros (had all the hotwheels!) and I'm interested in purchasing an older car. The few cars I'm interested in were typically ...show more""

Auto Body shop quote and Insurance quote?

My insurance adjuster came out and cut me a check for 1,200. The check issued is a fair price.The shop i trust gave me a quote of 1,300 which means I will only have to pay 100 out of pocket. My deductible is 500. Do i still have to pay 500 even though the check will cover most of the expenses?""

Cost for insurance license?

What is the total cost for obtaining a insurance license in California? Taking into consideration the exam, background check fees, etc? PLEASE..answer if you truly know. And tell me other essential information that I should know such as the time that it takes to finish the courses.""

Which car is a good cheap first car?

so im starting driving in january and my grandad has promised to buy me a car (which i am very grateful of). So i was just wondering which car to get? I was thinking a ford Ka. Also i need the car to have cheap insurance. Cheers.

What's an affordable life insurance with no health exam?

My father needs life insurance and has health problems. He needs something with low monthly payments, but will provide enough if he has a natural death.""

""Boston, MA Health Insurance?""

I am moving from Southern California to Boston, MA. I will be living close to Beacon Hill and I was wondering what are some of the medical insurances I should look into that are affordable for students. Thank you""

Need Advise On Car Insurance?

On Friday Fed. 12th I bought Me a good Used car. I had to park on the side of the street cause my neighbors from downstairs had company and were in my spot. when I woke up on Saturday morning my car was wrecked in the front and the other vehicle no where in site well except for the trail of car fluids that led to his car three blocks away. the police came got his info and mine, towed his vehicle, advised me what I needed to do and left. I found out on my own that the insurance that the police had was false info. I was pissed. Well low and behold the owner of the car came to my house that same evening and was like my car was stolen and all this other bs. He gave me his correct insurance papers and said he would report it to claims. He never did I had to on Tuesday. His insurance knew nothing of the matter. I filed my claim with them and they said it would be 24 to 48 hours and they would get in contact with me. Nothing yet.. Im still waiting for them to call me. What should I do now???????????""

Approximately how much would Comprehensive car insurance be for these luxury cars?

Im currently doing an assignment where I have to compare running costs of three different cars. I can't get an online quote for comprehensive insurance for these three luxury cars: Let's say the driver is a 30 year old with a perfect history/driving record. BMW 740i (Price: $183,000) Audio RS4 (Price: $187,500) Mercedes CLK-63 AMG (Price: $199,100) How much do you think APPROXIMATELY, the comprehensive car insurance would be for each of these cars? (Annual) AS A GUIDE.""

How much for a 16 year old boy drive a h22 civic for insurance how much would it cost?

Disadvantages of insurance?

Can any one kindly list the disadvantages of Insurance? or give the link of website?

Best car insurance price for financed cars?

I'm only 19, and I'm getting a financed car VERY soon. I know I can't look at the big name guys, cause I've already done that and they want $450 a month just for a car with no power and isn't even sport. I plan on either getting a 2009-10 Dodge Avenger or 2009-10 Nissan Altima/Sentra. I have had car insurance without a gap for almost 2 years now on my current car, so I won't have any problems having anyone cover me or anything. I live in FL, so if anyone knows of any small insurance companies that are good with financed cars and teens, PLEASE list it below. Thanks.""

Where can I get cheap car insurance?

I'm going to be sixteen soon and my parents are still thinking about whether or not they'll let me drive. But I really need this 'cuz my parents can never pick me up on time after school and it's too far to walk. (No bus) So, I just wanted to know what's the cheapest car insurance there is for 16 year old drivers. I heard you could get discounts for getting strait A's (which I do), taking driver's ed, and having an older car (which I will). Thanks in advance!""

cheap online car insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-you-drive-your-mothers-car-her-insurance-policy-brandon-welch/"

0 notes

datingadviceonreddit · 7 years ago

Link

This could get long so bear with me, I want to start from the very beginning. I met this girl at work, lets call her Lucy, we would flirt very subtly. This went on for maybe 6 months and it was very subtle because we worked in the same building and would see each other often. It was mainly me bugging her, her bugging me type thing and a few good jokes. Its March of this year and I go to bug her one morning and she just has tears in her eyes and tells me out loud not to bug her she might be breaking up with Luke (not his real name). I back off for the day and don't bug her. I havent approached her in any way during the course of the very subtle flirting because I knew she had a bf. I wasn't going to get in between them if everything seemed good in their relationship even though I thought she was attractive. But at this critical point I wanted to seize an opportunity. A few days later I approach her and we talk a bit and we ended up exchanging numbers. I make it pretty clear to her in the beginning and I quote myself: "friends without friendzoning". I think this makes it pretty clear what my intentions were. I wanted to be her friend but I didn't want to be considered just a friend. By this point I knew she found me attractive and wanted her to know I felt the same. She might be breaking up with her bf so I wanted to let her know she had options. We got to talking a bit, every so often at first because I wanted to give her space with what she was going through. Before I go any further I want to fill you in on some inside information that I learned about later: in January she is in Vegas with Luke and she finds a random number texted him. She ends up calling the number and finding out he is cheating on her. The details she's told me is that he talked to her (the other girl) for a year and met up with her a few times but he could never go through with "it". This guy is known as an asshole in their circle of friends. Not a totally bad guy but not the greatest either. Shes clearly upset about this. It's the beginning of March at the point of me starting to talk to her. In that first month I ask her if she wants to go to breakfast with me when I'm hungover after my birthday in the middle of the month. She declines very politely because shes still not sure what her and Luke are. I get it, I back off and we continue to talk every so often (maybe once a week, a few texts here and there) and continue to work in the same building. After that month we start to talk more and more, fast forward to sometime at the end of May. Luke sends flowers to work for Lucy and she tells him not to do that and was a lil angry. She ends up telling him that she doesn't love him anymore. She comes over to my place. We made plans to grab a few beers and play some video games. Video games get cut after about 15-20 minutes and we jst sit on my couch talking. This happens for about 1-1.5 hours and she gets up to leave. I escort her to the door and say my goodbye and it was nice hanging out. She then proceeds to kiss me. I kiss back. Door opens. She leaves. We talk about it after and she said shes never kissed on "first hangouts". It was our first time hanging out together...alone. We continue into our regular routine but dont get physical again until a bit later. The texts start to heat up a bit and become more sexual. We talk more often and when he's not at home around her. We hang out every once in awhile here and there for a few hours each time, not much like once or twice a week. I end up going on vacation for a week at the beginning of July and during that time we talk often throughout the day. I suggest to her that she call in sick on the Friday of my last weekend and come hang out at my trailer which is where I was spending my vacay. During these talks I mentioned to her that she could spend the night since its such a far drive. She does and the whole time she is here we hold hands and kiss like we're some sort of couple in front of my friends. The next morning we're just laying in bed (we didnt have sex just slept together) and she ends up getting a text from him saying that he blew the brake lines in his vehicle and their dog is sick. She leaves and can't spend another night. By this point, just before she came up, she removes her "in a relationship" status on facebook. She goes back home to him and on Sunday is in their backyard playing a game with Luke, Lukes brother and a couple of his friends. 2 weeks later we talk about "us" and how she is going to work on leaving him. The texting starts to get more frequent and we're innuendoing like crazy. We end up going on a trip with another work friend (female) and end up having a good time at an amusement park. We're obviously staying at a hotel but in separate beds because our friend is with us. We make funny faces at each other from our separate beds before going to sleep. The next morning while our friend was in the shower she straddles me and begins to kiss me a bit. Trip ends and we go home. Move towards the end of August and he disappears for a trip somewhere with his boys. I guess it was decided a few weeks before that it was just going to be the boys and she doesnt get to go. Now if I was her bf I'd want to spend some time with her alone before I go. He ends up having the boys over and she gets completely ignored. I know this because I was talking to her that night. When his trip was set me and Lucy make plans to hang out. She comes over, while he's gone, and she cooks me dinner. We end up playing some video games and then watching some Netflix. We get cozy. Now in between this encounter and the last one we have been kissing & touching here and there (not at work) and text each other often. So as we're watching the show I turn to her and kiss her. She kisses back. I get more physical and pick her up and bring her to my bed. I start to kiss more passionately and clothes are coming off. We have sex. She hangs out for a little bit more and then gets up to leave. She sends me a text a little while later saying she doesn't want to become a person she wouldn't want to date. I know shes feeling really guilty at this point. I tell her I get it it was a mistake and it just happened "in the moment". This was a Friday. Skip to Sunday. Luke's coming home the next day. I go over to their place and spend a few hours with Lucy. No sex. No kissing. Just cozying up and watching a movie. I leave. The very next day they pack up for a camping trip. Some of his family is going with them because she is in a bit of an awkward phase with him and didn't want it to be just the 2 of them. They spend a few days and come back. After this things start to heat up like crazy. I think a month goes by and we're hanging out a bit more and just stick to kissing & light touching. Hanging out is nice. Things start to get really heavy and we're having sex on a semi-regular basis. It heats up at work too. We're sneaking around and kissing and have had 1 sexual encounter. This happens for the next 2-3 months. She ends up nearly having a mental breakdown and tells me she wants to stop lying and that she is falling in love with me. We stop having sex. We stop hanging out as often as we did. Theres the occasional kiss. She has stopped having sex with Luke for what she tells me is around 4 months. Right around the time we started. By this point I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown too. I start feeling the same way. I think I'm falling in love with her. I can't stand when she's with him anymore. During this time shes told him that she is leaving but they have a debt together, a house to pay for and throw a dog into the mix. Its all getting to me. Now it all just seems awkward. We don't like we used to. I've told her the kissing and getting physical stops until she has completely moved out of her house. She still goes out and does stuff with him but doesn't post anything to facebook, still has the status removed and has got rid of a bunch of pictures with him. She's definitely in the process now of making the move but we're in December now. This all started in March when she said she might be breaking up with him. This whole time its been kept a secret from work and him. They are on a break now Ive heard. I feel very confused by all of this. Why so long? I feel like Ive been in a very secret relationship that has stalled. She says that shes "turning her world upside down to give US a chance". The question remains in my head: am I in a relationship?Tl;dr: me and Lucy have talked for 9 months, had sex and fallen in love with each other. She still lives with Luke but does not love him and is only now making moves to officially leave him. They do not sleep in the same bed but she continues to go out and do things with him. She has stated that she is "flipping her world upside down to give this a chance" (this being us as a couple). She has a house, debt to pay off and a dog with Luke. I want to know should I continue sticking around or just forget about the whole thing? via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

0 notes

pninaharchive · 7 years ago

Note

Just one number? What if you answered them all? It will take a while, but time is just an illusion.

LMAO luv a challenge thank u 💐 read more bc it got long obviously

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

ahh okay well i think about who i am as a person and whether im good or bad and recently in my reflections i realized that i have control issues?? and how to work with that is confusing to me but

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

no lol

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

no unless it was interfering with our relationship somehow?

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

yes and no?? i dont really trust a lot of people but im very optimistic and idealistic and so i never assume the worst of people. like if someone lied to me i prob wouldnt assume so unless it was glaringly obvious

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

sleeping lmao

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

this would never happen in my life oh my god i plan too much to not have a dd and a charged phone w access to a gps

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

break up w the person and prob not talk to them again

8: Are you close with your dad?

no i dont talk to him

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

i havent kissed anyone since 8th grade

10: What are you listening to?

currently im watching ink master in the background but in terms of music ive been playing big thief’s masterpiece and diiv’s is the is are

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

water lmao

12: Do you like hickeys?

ive never had one so idk for sure but the idea of it isnt super appealing to me

13: What time do you go to bed?

anywhere between like 11 pm to????? 3 am but usually closer to 11 bc i cant sleep in

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

every man in my life

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

no not at all im so bad at 1 handed texting

16: Do you always answer your texts?

no LMAO unless its my mom or abby

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

i dont know that ive ever fallen before

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

an hour ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

abby and angel and my bunny

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

i dont remember i think i was thinking about tattoos

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

my brother

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

no there are plenty of shitty people who are doing just fine

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

noooooo way

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

no im kinda fine with the people i choose not to speak to

25: In the past week, have you cried?

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

black

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

my last name is 9 letters long absolutely not

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

29: Do you have a best friend?

ya abby lmao love that bitch

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

no. see #9

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

angel

32: Are you mad at anyone?

always

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

see #30

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

see #33. probably 19 or 20 idk

35: How many more days until your birthday?

345

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

yes!!! im going to maine with my mom and her gf and abby soon and me and abby are gonna tear it up the rest of the summer.

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

i have no male friends currently

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

never

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

i dont think so

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yes lmao see #34

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

absolutely especially when either of the people is below 20 or so

42: Are you available?

emotionally, romantically, and sexually yes

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

i feel like i feel strongly for most people i meet im not really a casual person

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

i kind of want to get my other nostril pierced??? other than that i think medusa piercings are really pretty

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

if both of the people are emotionally mature enough definitely

46: Do you regret anything?

most things

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

um ive been thinking abt my chronic illness lol bc i dont think im actively bleeding internally anymore but wondering how much blood ive lost bc ive been really exhausted and i think it might be anemia

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

every one except the ones i currently have

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

yes like see #40

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

i dont like anyone currently i wish i did

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

no oh my god see #49

53: What was the last thing you ate?

i just had some pasta

54: Did you get any compliments today?

i think someone said they liked my shoes

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

maine!!!

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

probably but i couldnt tell u for sure my dude

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

rhode island

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

sunday

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

no has anybody

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

no has anybody

62: Who do you text the most?

abby i guess?? i dont really text that much

63: What was the last movie you saw?

i watched young frankenstein but ive seen that before

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

dont have a gf

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

none lmao i was in like 7th grade

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

idfk see #52

67: Do you curse around your parents?

yeah

68: Are you happy with where you live?

not really i wish i was on my own in like europe or some shit

69: Picture of yourself?

check out my insta boiii

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

i think it depends on the other person?? i could be open to either i think

71: Have you ever been dumped?

72: What do you most like about making out?

passion

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

lets play a game called how many ways can i say im a virgin

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

i feel like this set of questions has something against me

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

i like!! tummies and legs

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

my mom probably

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

gOD

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

aoidsfkfkl

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

ummmmmmmm honest compliments and affection

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

probably not right now bc im not ready or interested in kids but maybe someday

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

a couple people

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

not usually but i havent had a crush in a long time

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

what the fuck

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

prom last year

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

olive is my boo

86: How can I win your heart?

ugghgh idk openness and honesty, passion, similar interests, buying me flowers

87: What is your astrological sign?

gemini!!

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping

89: Do you cook?

yes i love cooking!!

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

yes im such a fucking romantic

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i think im a monogamous person but im?? also really flexible depending on the other person

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk im not picky ugh just

cute

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

a new laptop and purse, money, cute gf

95: Are you a player?

no im a pussy and also i love women

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

no god

97: Are you a tease?

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

yes

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

yes omg definitely

101: Hugs or Kisses?

kisses!!!!

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

absolutely

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

gross

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

only if im interested in them tbh

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

no this hypothetical person sounds like a dick

106: Do you flirt a lot?

107: Your last kiss?

see #66

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

no its like every question is about kissing

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

asdfghj

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

barbie ferreira :((((((((((

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

no that would be too convenient

112: Does someone like you currently?

not that i know of

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

nope

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

who could say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#answered #this took so long im so sleepy #Anonymous

0 notes