#i am simply your gender fluid child!

[impulsivesuperrobin]

Wren Fiachra

he/she/they (afab gender fluid)

- story: the seven ravens (a little bit of the snow queen)

- race: cursed human (aarakocra reskin)

- class: school of transmutation wizard

- age: 12

pre ep 4:

- grew up in pottingham with their parents and 7 older brothers

- never interacted much with the other children in the village because they never needed to, their brothers were always there

- was doted on by their parents who always wanted a daughter

- one day their father wished his sons would turn to birds and fly away

- their brothers all become ravens and fly off to a mountain in snowhold

- a few days later they begin to grow feathers and decides to run away

- “my parents wished so much for a daughter that they wished away their sons. imagine how much it would break their hearts to find out they do not have a daughter at all”

- after speaking to the sun, the moon, and the morning star, is given a chicken bone to use as a key to the mountain where their brothers are

- never makes it to the mountain

- is captured by a little thief girl

- manages to escape and meets up with the party while running away through the forest

in between worlds:

- he wakes up in a tree and is in a shifting state of bird features

- talks to the morning star

- “what are you really searching for?”

post ep 4:

- only has 3 brothers in this version

- managed to find their brothers in this version but had to chop off a finger because they lost the chicken bone

- is still partially transformed and hasn’t truly returned home

- has been living by the well their brothers disappeared from

- studying more magic to try to change himself back

[thatbadadvice]

Help! I Am Entitled To Do A Bone!

The Ethicist, New York Times, 14 October 2023:

My wife became pregnant soon after we met, when our relationship was “fluid” and non-monogamous. We agreed to raise the child together and, at my urging, to have an open relationship. However, our relationship since has been monogamous. My wife was injured during the birth of our second child and now finds sex painful and avoids it. (We had a terrific sex life before the injury.) When I broached the topic of having other partners and reminded her of our agreement to have an open relationship, she became irritated and said that having kids changed things. Subsequent discussions resulted in a stalemate. I very much enjoy my wife’s company and love her and our two kids. I have no intention of separating from my family. Nonetheless, I harbor resentments that my wife reneged on her commitment to me, and this, together with the lack of sex, is creating a wedge between us. Would it be ethical to take a mistress, given her earlier promise, and if so, can I do this discreetly so as to avoid tension and perhaps divorce? Or should I tell her I am planning to pursue this course of action? Or does the inherent risk of infidelity mean I should accept near-celibacy indefinitely? — Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld,

The restraint with which you signed yourself "name withheld" rather than the more accurate "big fun deep-dicking from which I have been blocked by my hateful bitch wife" is admirable in the extreme. You are a credit to your gender, sir.

But on to the matter at hand, specifically, your hand, to which you have been relegated in lieu of the aforementioned big fun deep-dicking. Your wife waited to drop the vicious bomb of possession upon you until she had roped you, an unwitting fancy-free man of leisure (entitled to all the benefits thereof indefinitely and in perpetuity), into marriage and fatherhood of not one but two children — children you could have in no way have known would result from your consistently and entirely monogamous coupling over many years, and moreover, could never have expected would complicate the terms of the thing y'all talked about one time about boning other randos?? And now this self-interested harpy dares to refuse to you the clear promise of sex with absolutely anyone other than her at any time ever, which she made and guaranteed in surety after you'd been fucking for a minute? A promise you had in theory enjoyed by writ and at length in your mind based on a conversation y'all had years ago before the entire terms and nature of your relationship changed in deep and meaningful ways to literally the one other person involved in said relationship, to wit, the worst person?

A bait-and-switch of the kind your cruel and fickle wife has pulled on you cannot, should not, be tolerated. Are you — is any man, really — obligated to just not fuck his wife in addition to whoever else he wants to fuck ever? Just because she "finds sex painful"? Sex isn't painful for you, and doesn't that matter just a little bit more? Isn't it her job to have kind of a bad time so that you can have a good time? Isn't that what it is to be a woman and a mother? And she just casually eschews her duty to put up with whatever the fuck you propose? Because WHY? Because "having kids changes things"? I ask you: changes things for who? For the person who carried children in her body and experienced deep and lasting personal and physical injury? Or for you, the person who matters most?

It seems your wife has an unfortunately topsy-turvy view of partnership, one in which she believes two individuals are allowed to dictate the terms of a relationship that may change over time due to a variety of mitigating factors that one or both of you may or may not have control over. Would that she realized that her sexual needs are not merely incidental to yours, but actively irrelevant. If only she would simply give you that one, small thing (in addition to two children).

But alas, she seems sadly fixated on her own needs to the exclusion of the fact that you would like to do a bone upon her or frankly anyone, you are not picky, as long as she doesn't leave you or take your children away or do anything really to upset the world as you would like it to be, which is a classically controlling woman-type thing that women do because they are so self-involved.

Obviously you're really grappling with the profound ethical implications of lying to your wife about taking a mistress, and you're trying to find literally any other solution to just finding a girlfriend and fucking the shit out of her and hoping your wife doesn't find out. That's clearly the very last thing you want. But since you've shown such magnanimous restraint in not doing so, you probably should just do it and see what happens, it'll probably all be totally fine! And if it isn't, eh, idk? Were you supposed to just survive on beejays and handies forever? You tried your very best not to! And that's what will matter most to your children in the end.

[seeinginthedark]

Incase you missed the memo, we are in a spiritual war .

We are reaching a crucial stage of it. This war extends into the ancestral realm . I won’t get into all of the details of this war, in this post .

But currently , we are losing in this war.

Sometimes, it feels hopeless and I think to myself all the time , what is the point of even continuing on with it.

But I refuse to give up. I will keep doing what I can to assist in the effort. In whatever way that looks like. In the past I would help others in my surrounding community. But right now , I am stuck at home so I make these posts .

This post will detail to you the signs and indicators that you may be a spiritual warrior. You don’t have to be spiritual and believing in love and light , to be a spiritual warrior . In fact, a lot of spiritual warriors are dark or really in touch with their darkness . And reluctant to participate in this war. But I believe there are those of us that are meant to be fighting in this war. For Earth . And humanity.

Signs that you may be a spiritual warrior.

When u were a child , you believed or imagined that you had magical powers.

You felt other peoples emotions as your own since you were very young.

You are stronger than most people , emotionally and physically.

You are homeless or have experienced homelessness.

You have had supernatural or paranormal experiences throughout your life . Or you have been abducted.

You don’t fit into society and never wanted to . You do not follow the herd, or status quo. You aren’t “woke”.

You are genuinely worried about where we are headed in this technological age that we are heading into .

You are unable to be hypnotised.

You have felt some kind of connection to the spirit realm.

You have felt connected to some of the gods and goddesses of mythology, on a personal level. You have felt them reach out to you. (Not through technology though).

You notice that you are more responsive to emergencies than others and you are brave in times when others are not brave.

You have survived horrible trauma .

You think that you are a star seed .

You think that you are gender fluid, non- binary or trans .

You identify as a shaman or a witch or another kind of magic person.

You attract dead spirits of people .

You are battling or you have in the past battled with addictions. And battled with mental illness.

You have a diagnosis of bi-polar or ADHD. Or schizophrenia or Autism.

You recieve prophecy on intense global events. Such as natural disasters, earthquakes, volcanoes etc .

There are more signs and indicators but I can’t think of them all right now.

Currently , as I said, we are losing in this war and we are losing more spiritual warriors every day in all sorts of ways. One of the ways we lose them is because of the relentless and toxic social programming. And social trends . We have many of us being born from magic bloodlines . But , they are getting compromised and falling into the illusion and self absorbed labeling of themselves thinking that they are gender fluid , non -binary , trans , or star seeds. Or they simply are tired of fighting in life and sadly suicide themselves.

The side we are fighting in this war, is not human.

They are inter-dimensional and semi-robotic.

They won’t stop until they have drained every last bit of humanity out of us. Ok . Transhumanism is part of it. A take over of our afterlife processes is also part of it. Also the assault on Mother Earth, our home. Aspects of this war are being battled in the spirit /astral realm, which is above time. It is a timeless war. It has been happening in the past, in the present, and in the future .

We have allies in this war. But our communication line with our allies has been systematically sabotaged throughout history.

Our allies are or were:

Some of the Deities and Demi-gods from mythology, human ancestors and ancestral beings , dead spirits of soldiers that died in the world wars, dead spirits of shamans, inner earth beings , Earth spirits of land , air, waterways and fire spirits, “demons” or “djinns” , some angels ( that didn’t sell out ) and there are a few inter- dimensional helpers .

There are no “positive well meaning” alien federations coming to help us . This is a deception from our enemies. I won’t elaborate here , right now , about that .

These allies of ours , live in a realm that is above time or outside of time. That means that things that happened 5000 years ago on our timeline , only happened to them in the last few months , or less. If you have managed to reach your 5th dimensional self , you will understand that time is a circle and not a linear line.

If you think that you are a spiritual warrior , do not give up hope. Do not give up on yourself. As the world descends into chaos , you do not descend into despair. You find clarity . You stand strong and continue to be brave . Help is on its way, ok. It is. Hold the fort. Resist the social programming. Help the weak. Choose kindness and collaboration. Be aware of your triggers . Arm yourself with as much information as you can. Connect with your ancestors if you can. Don’t give up. The Earth needs you. You were chosen for this.

[adelaidedrubman]

For the pride asks: 3. 6, 11 for both Jestiny and Jenna! 19, 20 for general Qs! 💕

HIIIIIIII CAYMAN thank you so much for sending these!!!!!! sorry they took ten million years but hey, it’s still pride month! (also sorry it’s so long as always i am thinking out loud and nobody has to Read All That disclaimer)

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

so, i’ve joked before that jestiny’s bisexual awakening was the sneakin’ around number in dolly parton’s best little whorehouse in texas. (seen below for anyone interested and unfamiliar.)

but to be more detailed i think realistically by the time she saw that movie she was actually probably well aware going in that dolly was hot and she’d had a crush on her for most of her life and was there mostly just ogling her in that lingerie then saw burt reynolds getting flipped over that bed and said “well there could be something to that also!!”

maybe the bit with the vacuum hose as well. watching it over again that might have been a pegging metaphor

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

jestiny is very casual and relatively eager with labeling herself, but her knee-jerk reaction is always to resist external labels — in part because she’s used to having to combat incorrect assumptions, in part because she’s simply combative and will yell at someone for assuming even when it is correct.

that being said she usually follows up with protesting labels by labeling herself with her chosen term, even when the person had already used it. “WHOA you have a boyfriend?? i thought you were a lesbian after that one chick....” -> “you shouldn’t think of me at all, because you’re wrong. don’t label me. i’m bisexual.” / “you’ve been with men AND women?? that’s so cool i didn’t know you were bisexual” -> “never said i was. that’s not what that means. don’t label me. i’m bisexual. but not because of what you just said.” / “i get it so like...... you don’t see gender your heart just wants what it wants...... sexuality can be so fluid and love is beautiful.” -> “ew no. speak for yourself. don’t label me. i’m bisexual.”

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

[tipping her women want me fish fear me hat] absolutely open, this is one of very few things it’s really easy to learn from her from the first conversation. she will quite literally tell people she’s bisexual before she tells them her name. she will tell them she’s bisexual while actively refusing to tell them her name because they don’t need to know her like that. primarily because jestiny doesn’t consider her sexuality to be like, particularly personal? this is boring demographic information you could learn about her as easily as jotting down her hair is red. and also because she’s the classic girl who comes out because she can’t resist making a well-timed joke about her sexuality. seizing every “i could see it going both ways....” may be low hanging fruit, but it’s honest fruit.

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

jenna never had like, particularly strong expectations for herself to be any specific orientation in the first place, so to a certain degree it was just analyzing her feelings as she went while growing up. i mean she was definitely exposed to heternormative messaging but in the #Supportive and #Progressive way. cut to jenna’s straight parents explaining their grown-up friends coming over to dinner are both boys but they are married just like mommy and daddy, because boys can love boys and girls can love girls, and baby jenna being like “i have never assumed otherwise bc i am a child learning about the world for the first time but thank you for the information.” (point being she knew straight was the majority/considered default but not the only option.)

as far as a specific realization moment i am going to lean into the bit again and and say after eleven years of thinking probably only her feelings towards girls ever met the definition of “crushes” jenna kissed a girl she liked at science camp then decided she should kiss one of the boys there she found pleasant just to be sure then stopped in the middle of the kiss to pull out her journal and write down “hypothesis: lesbian”

she’s checked in with her feelings occasionally since then but it has always been “data collected confirms lesbian hypothesis”

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

jenna LOVES labels. she’s a bit more interested in like, talking about the cultural history behind particular labels and the social practice of labeling gender and sexuality in general than she is getting into the weeds about the ones she uses for herself and why, but she does also enjoy her personal labels and will gladly talk about it as she’s rambling about generalities. (she tends to treat her own identity and feelings as secondary a global character trait for better or for worse, so.) that being said she also doesn’t try to limit anything by the available labels, certainly not for anyone else. like many things jenna values labels mostly for their present utilitarian value — they’re a means of quickly communicating via shared social meaning who she is and what she wants, and they do it very effectively.

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

jenna is quite open, and regularly volunteers the information before being asked, usually for the sake of clarifying interpersonal interactions. a man comes up to her in a bar and starts talking to her about a subject she’s interested in and she dives in with the preface “just so you know before we continue this conversation, i’m a lesbian.” flipside, her flirting also often reads quite dry and her interest clinical so she will clarify a compliment or question with “to be clear, i mean that in a gay way.”

AAAAAAND THE GENERALS

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

it’s flexible, it’s not so triggering to me i absolutely have to avoid it full stop but i also definitely tend not to incorporate it into any setting that doesn’t require it, or make it the inescapable focus or driving force of things in settings it would realistically be present by no choice of my own. if it’s a fantasy world and the source material world build doesn’t specify otherwise, my go to is no -phobias of any kind. who cares there’s fucking spells and shit

as for real world settings, it tends to be there when and where it realistically would be to the degree it realistically would be, but again not the focus. like, everything i have written for fc5 has a montana 2018 degree of queerphobia as i have experienced it, but it’s mostly quick albeit dark jokes or noted generally when there’s other shit going on. (in part bc i tend to just decide i’m writing not cishet characters interacting with not cishet characters.) a few oneshots have incorporated it as one among many a notable plot/character things going on, but. i think my approach tends to always be “yeah obviously everyone is dealing with this but their entire experience of being a member of the community or a person isn’t defined by it.” i definitely don’t mind exploring Dark Themes, including the things i have experienced personally, but i only do it when it’s fun or enjoyable and this one isn’t as much.

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

this one kinda stumped me! i don’t know if i’ve necessarily learned anything brand new, but it’s definitely been a way to explore my experience and it has made me confident about saying loudly this is who i am, and the type of characters/relationships i want to see more of in media. it’s been self-discovery mostly in the sense it’s helped me with self-expression, a lot.

[bl-sensei]

Analisis of Crowley and Aziraphale’s traumas

PS : ! I’d like to warn that I’m absolutely not a psychiatrist and that my analysis is entirely based on research on the internet and personal experience/knowledge ! / Also I used both she/her and he/him for Crowley

I think Crowley has two kinds of Complex traumas: Betrayal trauma & traumatic Aloneness. Betrayal trauma can develop when your trust is violated by people/someone you depend on to respect your needs and help safeguard your well-being. It’s something that develops most often in child/parent relationships but I think it’s pretty clear here that the person that betrayed her was God. We know they had a close relationship as she was highly ranked and if she was in the highest orders like most of us think then she would have been directly (or practically) in contact with God. Also, something I noticed is that Crowley never mentioned the Great War between Heaven & Hell as a protest or something, always as something that happened and he was there, even having fun. He wasn’t looking for revenge, he was just hanging around and having fun, and asking questions. That would mean Crowley trusted God so much that he thought She would’ve never hurt him, he thought he could ask Her questions, he thought he could trust Her. And She betrayed him. 

I also think she developed trauma from her loneliness because in S2ep2 we can see that she seemed to suffer from it (and from personal experience too). I think that’s also part of why she encouraged Aziraphale to be on his own side, because she didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

From that, I think he developed really unhealthy trauma responses; the most obvious one being his codependency on Aziraphale. Some of the symptoms I found include: 

Ignoring own needs, preferences, thoughts, and feelings to please the other (Crowley never tells Az what she knows about Heaven to not hurt his feelings/fight with him)

Holding back on opinions and desires to please another person, and in an attempt to avoid any conflict. (S2 ep3)

Feeling sorry for the other person, even when they hurt you (When Az would choose Heaven over her in S1, because he knows that it’s hard for Az)

Doing anything for the other person, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, simply to make the other happy (S2 ep1)

Self-sacrifice (They’d both die for each other)

Difficulty recognizing, expressing, and/or managing emotions (S2 ep6)

Tendency to apologize or take on blame in order to keep the peace (S2 ep1)

The habit of making decisions for others or trying to “manage” loved ones (He tries but always concedes to Aziraphale)

Guilt or anxiety when doing something for yourself (S1 ep4 & S2 ep1)

Thoughts of suicide (we don’t know for sure but Az mentioned it in S1ep3)

Chasing people who don’t want them for affection (Aziraphale always pushes her away but she still stays, even after 6,000 years)

There are other symptoms I would add but am not sure of : 

Perceived lack of personal identity (He doesn’t really have anything he's attached to apart from his Bentley which is recent; his gender is fluid – I’m not saying it’s necessarily because of trauma, but it could come from/be emphasized by a lack of self-identity)

Low self-esteem (I think that emphasized – with the lack of communication – the misunderstanding in S2ep6 as she thought that Aziraphale couldn’t like her because she’s a demon)

Sensitivity (his way of dealing with trauma is to avoid it. And the only time he did actually try to face conflict it ended badly. I think this left really heavy damage in Crowley’s mind. I honestly don’t know how S3 can go well.)

I found this citation: – “Recourse to another person can confuse an ordinary love relationship with a relationship of need. In fact, meeting a partner with characteristics suited to a person's inability to be alone can sometimes crystallise into an "addictive relationship", avoiding any solitude experienced or felt.” – 

And I really think that’s what happened to Crowley. I’m sure she truly loves Aziraphale, but I also think her feelings for him tend to be more of “need” than “love”. I think she started to truly fall in love with him after Job’s event when she saw he was like her: grey. And I think that it influenced her behaviour toward Aziraphale and that would explain why she’s so overprotective of him, because she went through the same things as him and knows how it’s like; so she wants to protect Az from it and give him what she sadly never had: someone. I can’t imagine how they must have been lonely on their respective sides; they needed each other.

I think Aziraphale also has a kind of Complex trauma: Religious trauma (RTS). (The symptoms are comparable to betrayal trauma so here I’ll just analyse the ones applicable to Aziraphale specifically). RTS occurs in response to two-fold trauma: first the prolonged abuse of indoctrination by a controlling religious community, and second the act of leaving the controlling religious community. As we know Aziraphale was indoctrinated in thinking that Heaven was “the good guys” and Hell “the bad guys”, and despite the acts of Heaven not being the “goodest” he still stuck to that idea even until the end of S2. But the second part of this trauma, the leaving part, wasn’t really shown as it occurred during the 4 years separating S1 and S2, but I think it affected him as “religious communities often serve as the foundation for individuals' lives, providing social support, a coherent worldview, a sense of meaning and purpose, and social and emotional satisfaction. Leaving behind all those resources goes beyond a significant loss; it calls on the individual to completely reconstruct their reality.” When Gabriel found him, when he investigated or when he helped Maggie & Nina he seemed so happy. I know he’s a sweetheart but I don’t think quitting Heaven didn’t affect him (even though it clearly helped with his anxiety), if he helped all those people it’s also because that gave him a purpose. His purpose was to be an angel & obey God, who is he now that he doesn’t do that anymore ?

This left some noticeable scars on Aziraphale’s behaviour: 

Difficulty perceiving and responding to others' emotional states (S2ep6)

Poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes (Saying “I forgive you” is his way of expressing things he can’t process/proceed to say out loud)

Problems with judgment, 'cause-effect' thinking, critical thinking (S2ep3)

Difficulty with decision-making (S1ep6 & S2ep2, I think it’s important because he was a Principality and they're supposed to help make important decisions even during crises)

Emotional & social immaturity resulting from the control of information and discouragement of critical thinking within the religious environment. (The “Good guys” & the “Bad guys”)

The symptoms are less noticeable than Crowley because, unlike her, he never really expresses his thoughts or feelings because of RTS

Aziraphale’s way of dealing with trauma is different from Crowley’s ; while Crowley rejected everybody and closed in on himself, Aziraphale just denied everything. Betrayal trauma theory acknowledges that victims unconsciously keep themselves from becoming aware of betrayal because it could be traumatic. That’s why he spends most of S1 defending Heaven because he’s been “raised” to think they were “the good guys”, admitting that they aren’t would mean that he’d spend all his “life” (that being millions of years) being wrong and actually not doing the right thing, which is so important for him to do; but also that his whole existence is a lie as he wasn’t created to actually do “good”. It’s pretty much the same as in The Truman Show, except that Truman would tell himself that the cameras are surveillance cameras and that the people around him just want to protect him the best they can. And at the end of S2 he has actually not changed, he’s still delusional thinking there’s still good in Heaven. He thinks there’s good in everyone, because, I guess, there must be, his whole existence can’t just be a lie. Plus it’s only been 4 years, it’s nothing for him, he hasn’t been able to swallow the information yet.

The problem is that Aziraphale is delusional and Crowley comforts him in this idea, and neither of them notices that. In S1 Crowley always prevented him from having to choose between Heaven and her, and in the end the problem resolved itself; but when it reoccurred in S2 Crowley kept protecting Aziraphale, that’s why he chose Heaven in the end: he always chose Heaven and Crowley was always there so he thought she would be there again, but this time she wasn't.

We know it’s Crowley the “problem” because the only time Aziraphale chose something else over Heaven it was Earth, which he knew couldn’t follow him; unlike Crowley.

I found this other citation: –  “A healthy, supportive relationship involves listening, striving to understand, and keeping in mind the concerns of another person. Codependency is when that caring behavior crosses the line into trying to direct or control them.” – And I think it really represents their relationship because that’s exactly what happens between them: they never listen to each other, they never try to understand each other, all they care about is taking care of the other in their own way regardless of if that’s what the other wants or not. They’re ironically selfish in their selflessness.

I think Crowley finally leaving Aziraphale in ep6 was actually a great thing (in a way) as it was him stepping out of his codependency. Now it’s Aziraphale’s turn to deal with his traumas.

[windandheartbeat]

Hello there!!

You've reached AXYER's SFW "weird stuff" blog. I hope you enjoy your stay!

Here's my SFW vore and SFW tickling account! Obviously, you can block this account should you desire to and wholly dismiss that you ever saw this account, that's totally fine! I wouldn't even judge you!

HOWEVER, I do humbly request you don't post me anywhere or laugh at me with your friends on a voice-call! I know it probably seems really fun, but it really, really hurts! I promise you there's better things to laugh at, I'm not trying to hurt anyone and I'm just doing this for comfort! We can be friends, even if we don't agree on everything, alright?

Now, DNIs are famous for literally not working whatsoever in most cases, but I'm going to try anyway, just so if you're blocked you know why:

-Racist, homophobic, transphobic (including believing there's only two genders/TERFs), radfems, radqueers, "MAP"/"NOMAP", ableist, sanist, sexist, conservative/alt-right/Republican

-Religious extremist (NOT just Christians or Muslims)

-Zionists 🇵🇸

-If you love arguing with people/brag about how you "take no shit" and love hurting people/committing crimes

-Obviously, if you think being "cringy" and being "bad" are the same thing!

-If you think talking shit about people is a likeable personality trait (sorry I hate these people so much)

-Com-shippers, ESPECIALLY if you ship characters with abusive dynamics (I had to resist saying so many mean things but I will refrain, I will refrain…)

-If you're a fan/kin/identify as/with WHATSOEVER anyone/anything from a certain webcomic where a white stick figure with a tie is tormented by a black stick figure with bat wings + red tendrils (I am extremely uncomfortable with anyone who applies to this. DNI. I mean it, please.)

-If you're unable to agree to disagree/accept differing opinions

Otherwise, here's a bit about myself!

Hi!! I'm an aspiring child psychologist from Long Island! I love to write, draw, maladaptive daydream horrifically (/hj) and walk!! A LOT!! I LOVE WALKING!!

I'm also a Heart (C/C/C/C) fictionkin!! Technically also a G/r/i/m/m/c/h/i/l/d and stick figure fictionkin, but those are less important!!

I promise you that I do not bite and unless your ask scares me I will respond as kindly as I possibly can!! And if it does scare me, dw! I probably just won't respond, but feel free to clarify! I LOVE clarification!!

I am ABSOLUTELY willing to make friends!! Let's be little /pos freaks together!! <3333

My taste in vore/tickling depends on the current hyperfixation, but Soul is a pred/ler whilst Heart (me yk yk me) is a prey/lee!! Sometimes I throw in Mid as a switch for both 👀

My preferences in vore are:

-No fluids! Everything is cushiony but dry, saliva actually REALLY icks me out!!

-Food and prey go in different areas!!

-I most like same-size + half-size but I'm A-ok with G/T!! HOWEVER I always prefer the bigger one to be the pred!!

-NO DIGESTION NO DIGESTION WHATSOEVER IT MAKES ME EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE EVEN IF THERE'S REFORMING

-I like only a small belly, enough that the people around them go "hey, have you gained weight recently?" but no more than that!! Less than that's good too!!

-Fearplay is my FAVORITE!! No foodplay tho!!

-I prefer humanoids (not humans) but anthros and taurs work too!!

-I'm uncomfy with children being involved as well as animals but siblings is cool with me simply because I like to imagine it similar to how bickering siblings will do crazy things to piss one another off!!

-Vore used as timeout is EXCELLENT and probably my fav trope!!

Tickling preferences!!

-No tongue!! Again I don't like saliva!!

-I LOVE RASPBERRIES YESSSSSS LKDNDNSJSOJSNSN

-I really like it when they're held down!!

-Mocking YES I LOVE MOCKING

-Cuddling afterwards when they're all sleepy mhm mhm yessssssss

-When the belly and sides are the most ticklish 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

-Ticking with MORE than two arms YESSSSSS MHM MHM MHM MHM MHM

-Tickling as revenge :)))))))))

Tags!!

#vore moment - Vore stuff!!

#tickle moment - Tickle stuff!!

#*receives food* - Reblog!!

#hearb spelling bee (vore) - Vore fic!!

#hearb spelling bee (tickle) - Tickle fic!!

#fellow freaks slash pos - Friend reblogs + discussion!!

#sad times - Angsty stuff!!

#owa goodness!! - Happy/fluffy stuff!!

#the blues and greens - Fav posts!!

#realising through glazed eyes - ALL TIME fav posts!!

What I censor:

#cw profanity - Post has curse words!!

#cw all caps - Post has all capital letters stuff in it!! (Might forget I apologize!!)

#tw digestion - Post has digestion!! (Would only be used in fictional content)

#tw suicide - Post has suicide!! (Would only be used in fictional content)

#tw suicide attempt - Post has a failed suicide attempt!! (Would only be used in fictional content)

#tw suicidal ideation - Post has thoughts/plans/consideration/reflections of suicide!! (Would only be used in fictional content)

#tw panic attack - Post contains a panic attack! (Would only be used in fictional content) (well, hopefully!)

#tw s/h - Post contains self-harm!! (Would only be used in fictional content) (will also be tagged as #tw self harm + #tw self-harm!!)

#tw homicidal ideation - Post has thoughts/plans/consideration/reflections of homicide/murder! (Would only be used in fictional content)

I think that's all… anyways, have fun here!!

[fecto-forgo]

i need your know your thoughts on fecto elfilis in general bc i lovelovelove your interpretation from what ive seen and i wanna see More So So Bad

AKSYSKJSKS YOU!!! YOURE GONNA MAKE ME BLUSHHH ok ok elfilis thoughts lets seeee

-ive already said this before but i very much go w the interpretation their mind worked like the fermi paradox dark forest theory:theyre extremely paranoid of any other life forms and they see them as nothing but threats to their survival, so they exterminate whole planets therefore conquering them, the good in them was essentially overshadowed by their severe self preservation urges, their failed attack on the forgotten planet and resulting consequences also served as cementing their paranoia that other species are inherently dangerous

-their origins are completely unclear to them and theyve never met another of their own species, they simply came to be one day, tbh growing up as a planet warping alien without anyone to give you an idea of what a moral compass is and whos dangerous and whos not is probably the root cause of them growing terrified of everything and seeing everyone as threats and deciding that means everyone has to die before they can even think of hurting them

-elfilis personality is weird in my view? theyre on a weird line between conscious and having no self awareness, specially when attacking, if actually given a standard healthy environment to fully form it in theyd probably be a bit similar to a (tad mean) child mindset for a while, that did however not happen so their mind ended up splitting in two because it couldnt handle it together anymore after the lab experiments (ayy i found a way to work more plural metaphors into the split), ig in a way you could see forgo and elfilin as the two ways elfilis could have resulted, one grew up in the lab surrounded by people who saw them as a test subject and entertainment source w elfilis memories and the other actually got to bond with others and be treated well

-they did however when lucid (for lack of a better term) (i mean i already headcanon forgo as psychotic so lizzie probably was too) have a bit of an ego issue with being overly confident in how many successful invasions they had done, those were very much power and safety fantasies to them at times

-they can communicate normally w full sentences! thats a forgo exclusive issue having to do w its brain mal forming from the eternity capsule screwing with its reformation and growth from the elfilis goop

-their "species" (its just them theyre the species) are immortal and fully asexual and aromantic, i think their thoughts on gender and pronouns would range from the "we use he/him for him but he doesnt really care" meme to "stop perceiving me i am going to kill you."

-the accident with them was kinda like if you put a hamster in the microwave but instead of exploding it melts into goo.and the result was also their whole ass identity split into two new ones.

-this isnt rly a lis headcanon but i just wanted to bring it up to explain the previous point:the way i see the entire "oops we split in half" accident is their body melted and split, elfilin spent most of that time after escaping as unconscious goop that very slowly throughout the years after the planets population ascended into the stars formed into the the child version of elfilis again, forgo is a deformed overgrown fetus because they tried rushing their body stability with the tube fluids, which instead trapped them as immediately conscious in stasis while their body was stuck expanding the fetus form and not becoming solid at all (i actually see that the reason its right ear is losing shape is because theyve begun straight up deteriorating from being in the tube fluids for over a century by that point)

-a consequence of going w the interpretation forgo and elfilis are separate is theres not much to say abt them bc theyre essentially a character exclusive to the games backstory since their identity died after splitting into two.i miss them </3

[autumnaaltonen]

I want to start my Pride Month off by talking about the generational/cultural switch my mother and I have experienced.

Living in Vancouver during the 70s-late 80s, my aunt (my mother's sister) came out as a lesbian around my age. When she was hanging out with her friends (also including my mom) she was considered the 'token gay'. And as said token gay, my mother always looked out for my aunt when things got too overwhelming, and also supported her when she would try to share philosophies about homosexual and lesbian identity to their straight friends. She grew up in a time when it was rare (everyone was still in the closet, I know) to be gay/lesbian, and she never really had a community to go to in order to embrace her identity to the fullest. I remember attending her wedding as a child, and being so surprised when I saw her getting married to another woman. That was the first time I learned about being gay/lesbian, and I didn't even see it coming because it was just not a topic of discussion in my family, nor was it for most families at the time. Thank god, things have changed.

Cut to today, 2023, I'm nearing my end of university and have my own large group of friends. Funny thing is though, there is no 'token gay'. Instead, I am the 'token straight'. Turned tables. The vibe in my group is completely different than from what my mother and aunt experienced growing up. We are four-bisexuals, one lesbian/trans-gendered woman, and one gender-fluid. Sexuality, gender and identity are commonplace topics we discuss without filter. However, I don't have much experience to contribute to the conversation, beyond growing up with my aunt and trans-gendered sister, but I try to include myself none-the-less in order to learn. The difference is, the gay agenda is always welcome, but the straight-centric way I do and say things has been a noticeable sore spot for our group. My opinions on LGBTQ+ issues never ring quite as strong in our talks, or are dismissed entirely. (Be aware I've never said anything hateful. I agree with most everything the LGBTQ+ stands for, and the few areas I disagree on are commonplace issues that are widely debated from all parts of the community.)

But now it's my own cis-straightness that has become an issue, rather than being the one gay/lesbian friend. Even my own identity as a cis/straight woman is constantly put into question by my friends, and it really makes me uncomfortable. I almost always dress away from the binary, but I still identify as a woman. I find fellow women attractive, but I'm only romantically and sexually interested in men. So I must be gender questioning, or I have to still be in the closet, right? If I like to dress in masculine clothing, I should change my pronouns to be inclusive. My issues with dating must revolve around the fact that I'm attracted to straight men, who are total trash, no excuses.

I hope you're sensing my sarcasm here.

Just like when my aunt struggled to express her identity to share the LGBTQ+ community while only having my mother for support, I now struggle to express my ideas to support the LGBTQ+ community while being myself. And it drives a big wedge between my friends and I, just as it did for my mother and aunt in the 70s and 80s.

In no way should we compare LGBTQ+ issues with those of heterosexuals and cis-gendered people, there is simply no comparison to be drawn. But I hope that going into June, we all remember to be respectful of one another when are intentions are directed at lifting the LBGTQ+ up, rather than forcing them back into that dingy closet. Straight, gay, cis, trans or non-binary, we need to encourage conversation in order to progress, or else we're forever doomed to go backwards.

And for all the super right-wing skinheads who come into my DMs whenever I talk about things like this: I will find your IP address, steal your confederate flag, shred it, and turn it into glitter for my sister's wedges. I have done it before, I will do it again.

[lo-fi-charming]

A child wanting to experiment with gender expression isn’t really an indicator of like having a trans identity per say. It means she is being influenced by our culture to associate some characteristics with being a boy and some being a girl: e.g., she is being culturally indoctrinated to believe in gender roles. Instead of going along with that sexist thinking, you could ask her what it means to be a boy, and why she can’t do or be those same things as a girl

hi anon! this is straight up some weird terf shit, and i wonder if you realize that?

for the benefit of my followers (and because i love an excuse to talk about my art/ocs) here is the comic anon is referring to

right, so, id say the main problem with this ask is you immediately dismissing a child's thoughts and feelings about their gender simply because they are a child. if only due to the fact that you and i, as Real Life People, should be able to have a mutual understanding that since i, a Real Person, am saying that the fictional character is gender-fluid, that would mean they're gender-fluid and there's not room for interpretation or argument bc i SAID they are? gender-fluid? and this is my character that i made up?

if your issue is simply seeing a comic depicting a young child Realizing Some Things About Gender, well that's definitely a you problem.

and i really must note it here, bc it's so amusing to me: this claim that victoria is only asking to be a boy all of a sudden bc they, like, want to do something but think they cant bc it's a Boy Thing? but nothing in the comic implies that. vic doesn't ask "can I be a boy tomorrow so i can go play in the mud and eat bugs and wrestle the other boys, activities which are forbidden to me because i am a girl, btw what's up with that?", they just ask it out of the blue with no apparent trigger. and the 'mommy/daughter day' line is only in there so i could have vic ask about "switching back" and realize that yes, they can be a boy or a girl (or neither or both) whenever they feel like it.

the thing is anon, if there was actually anything you brought up worth discussing, it's currently only in service of delivering a weird, terfy rhetoric, and thus is no longer worth attempting to have a constructive conversation about. im so sorry if you're having to learn this way..... maybe you should take a day or two to reexamine your personal reaction to my lighthearted comic and see how you feel afterwards

so... yeah? um this ask was very surprising to see, lol, and that's speaking as someone who's gotten transphobic anons on this account before. it's like im collecting all the variants... blatantly transphobic, transmed bullshit, and now terfy bullshit... wow! super cool

[justapillowpetpanda]

ADHD & Imposter Syndrome: The Inner Critic Is Loud Today

There's something wicked in the way my inner critic speaks to me through my ADHD. A taunting voice, a belief in the worst, and the perfect opportunity for imposter syndrome to invade my every thought. This often teams up with a dip in my self-esteem and the evolving deconstruction of a childhood led by puritanical ideology. My wave of emotions only help deepen the twisted perspective the inner critic tries desperately to get me to believe. I've tried to ignore it in the past, believing that distraction was a way for me to "feel better." Life and joy don't work that way, not really anything does.

Original digital artwork by Britt Bender

ADHD & The Inner Child

The world can be a capitalist hell and it often preys upon my ability to care. To care about art, life, accomplishments, and almost everything else. Somedays I can't give a single sh*t about the art surrounding me in my studio. That simply sucks. I'm a fantastic artist, a good friend, and a loving partner, and even though it's hard to say it, I'm a good writer. Because of a society that praises the neurotypical, my own ex-evangelical trauma, and the fear of joy in something not producing monetary gain, It can be hard to think I'm anything worthy of praise at all. Imposter syndrome is masterful in the worst ways but can be pushed and reframed. Reframing or taking a break from my mind can feel impossible sometimes. There's a lot of fear and "what if?" talk surrounding this experience. Doubt becomes a present enemy and anxiety tags along as a sort of sidekick. My inner child doesn't scream at me, instead there's an upsetting solemness in the voice that brings up a necessary inner guilt. Part of me looks at the accomplishments and joy in my life with a sincere amount of admiration. In the past it's been much harder to even acknowledge that voice over the loudness coming from the questions and doubt put forth by imposter syndrome. Nowadays, it's not at a place I'd hope for it to be, but I've found myself stopping and addressing the inner critic more than I have in the past.

Facing Imposter Syndrome

Picking at every little detail, second guessing your own intelligence, and most any other road block can come with imposter syndrome. It's typically worse for anyone not a straight, able-bodied, white, cis-gender man. Being someone whose external aesthetic leans towards the feminine (even though I would identify as gender-fluid), discussing anything or being talented in an area dominated by men can be a horrible experience. I still experience a deep uncomfortable fear when needing to address concerns or ask for what is rightfully mine. It's not something new for me, but it has changed its appearance based on where I am in my career and/or stage of life. ADHD contains layers. The layers of skill regression, hyper focus, and more have served to only help my imposter syndrome. It becomes easier to explain potential mistakes or the validity of "what if?" moments in my mind. Doubt shakes hands with my mind, inviting in the false narratives placed in front of me. "I'm not meant to write about horror" "I don't want to come across as..." "Maybe I should stick to writing about..." "Do you work as hard as__?" "You're not keeping up with the latest news" "You know you have to work at this harder than him" "Maybe it's ok I wasn't considered for this" "Does your background in film even matter?" "It's not worth the inevitable argument" "Best to just ignore it" "Stick to your area of coverage" "I don't want to write right now and that breaks my heart" "My studio is a mess again" "I used to be able to..." These aren't statements from some TV villain or from an online troll...these are my own thoughts. They are ones I have had in the past or recent ones that have come up time and time again. I don't want them. It would be great to ignore them, same as I do with the daily instances in which my potential is fucked over by a man's decision or a "good guy" and his indecisive self-protection. My mind can often regard my ADHD as the enemy. In many of my symptoms and breakdowns, that's very plausible. But there's a relief in writing down those inner thoughts and messages. It's easier to take down something negative in your own mind when it's written plainly in front of you. When it comes to dealing with things outside of my ADHD, there's a level of difficulty that becomes a special kind of hell because of my inner critic and subtle (or not so subtle) sexism playing out day to day for me. Writing about my experiences has definitely helped, but I am also lucky enough and privileged to have access to therapy. I try my best to work through my fears when it comes to standing up for myself or acknowledging what I deserve. It's something that truly is work each and every day, but it doesn't drain me. Reminding myself the worth that my inner critic and imposter syndrome ignore is what counts. I can't continue to be my own enemy. Otherwise, I'd be joining a select few and society in creating my narrative. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cZu-4esvRY Read the full article

[godspeedviper]

I aim to write for darker desires, some taboo subjects, and niche reader inserts. If you have seen me reblog things of a particular fandom but I have not yet written a fic, then they are free game to request.

What I am willing to write includes but is not limited to the following:

• hurt/comfort, fluff, whump, smut basically any fanfic trope except omegaverse

• reader of any gender and/or sexuality

• MM, MF, FF, T4T anything goes

• cnc/rape play/dubcon & noncon

• dom/sub character or reader

• various sadistic and/or violent kinks such as, but not limited to, impact play, needle play, knifeplay etc.

• dacryphilia (blood, sweat, and tears are the only body fluids I am willing to include in writing)

• alcohol and/or drug usage, both as a plot device and in smutty scenarios (ex: pills, ketamine, mdma, coke, etc)

• medical kinks EXCEPT enemas

• mental health problems including, but not limited to, self harm, eating disorders, personality disorders, addiction, PTSD etc etc

• chronic pain, chronic illness, and other disabilities (I myself am disabled)

• murder (a lot of the characters I write for are villains), cannibalism, surgery, unethical medical experiments etc etc

What I am NOT willing to write:

• anything involving piss, scat, and/or emetophilia.

• incest or pseudo incest (this includes stepparent smut and batcest)

• reader of a specific race, simply because I don't believe I have the tact to be able to tackle such specific struggles pertaining to different racial experiences and do not wish to cause offense. (Note: I am from Latin America, I am half afro-latin half native. However, I don't want others to feel left out if I decide to write a reader that matches my race but not take on readers of other races).

• plus size reader, same reasoning as race.

• age play, diaper wearing, littles etc etc

• real person fiction. I am willing to write for a handful of actor specific characters but I will NOT write about the actor as a person themselves.

• A/B/O dynamics

• Oviposition/Eggpreg

• Vore

• Furries/anthropomorphic

• Parental dynamics: aka where the reader is a child (biological or adopted) of the character in question.

Unsure of anything specific? Feel free to ask! The inbox is always open, but please do note that this blog runs on a queue as my life is rather busy. So it may take some time before I get to your ask, but I promise I will get to it!

All asks, anon or not, can be found under the tag Answered. Anons only are under anon asks. Non-anons are under asks.

UPDATED 2024/09/09

[ovaryacted]

✧˖° ── RULES & GUIDELINES

This is an 18+ blog, crude language and mature topics will be a regular occurrence. Minors should not be interacting with anything NSFW that is uploaded on this page. Minors should also not be interacting with me personally, requesting anything, or talking to me about sex & kinks (unless it comes from an educational standpoint, then I can make an exception depending on what it is).

Anon hate and discourse have no place on my blog, and I ask that you have your age visible on your account. This is a safe space for all people (LGBTQ+, POC, neurodivergent people, etc.) If you are racist, homophobic, zionist, islamophobic, sexist, fatphobic, an incel, a pedophile, a proshipper, a kink shamer, or are ignorant and/or bigoted in any way, I will block you.

✩ ─ Requests are closed, as I already have set ideas I want to write for and generally don't take requests. However, I will allow thirst messages in my ask box and I am open to writing drabbles/smaller pieces for things that suit my interests.

✮ ─ I usually post whenever I can or want, I don’t have a set posting schedule. I have a life and a full time job outside of this blog, so usually if I am not consistent with posting or I am not as active, it simply means I am busy.

✩ ─ I am often loud in the tags and enjoy using memes and gifs as my reaction to things. I like being funny on the timeline, so be prepared to see me being silly on here since I don’t take shit seriously.

✮ ─ I am always open to meeting new people and my inbox and ask box are there for interactions. No pressure of course, but if you have any questions or want to know more about me and the stuff I write, feel free to shoot me a message!

✩ ─ Don't just like my work, reblogs and comments are always greatly appreciated and help creators stay motivated to create more!

I WILL WRITE:

CONTENT: smut, fluff, angst, etc. I focus on afab fem reader & gender neutral reader. When I write anything NSFW, especially BDSM, it comes from a place of knowledge and experience, and I value and support kink exploration. I make an effort to show healthy/accurate/inclusive sex practices and I am always open to criticism, recommendations, and additions so long as it's respectful.

I will write things that include dark content, gore, violence & things that are considered "taboo" like age gaps & abuse of authority. When I do, I will always have warnings and disclaimers so please do read them beforehand. You are responsible for the content you consume.

MOST KINKS: Dom/sub dynamics / femdom / impact play / Daddy & Mommy Kinks / PinV / Anal & anal play / DDLG & MDLB / knife & gun play / blood play / period sex / sex toys / squirting / cum play / spit play / foot fetish / breeding kink / cockwarming / breath play / degradation & praise / threesomes / somnophilia / overstimulation / dumbification / dacryphilia / orgasm control & edging / marking / voyeurism / exhibitionism / bondage / pet-play / age-play (with exception) / monster-fucking / bodily fluids (piss & vomit with exception) / CNC & free use (with exception) / more that I may be missing

DARK CONTENT EXCEPTIONS: Dub-con & Non-con / Psuedo-incest (depends) / yandere & stalker / some DDNE content / I don't mind exploring the taboo or other dynamics, just depends on what it is.

I WILL NOT WRITE:

Incest / pedophilia / hardcore rape or non-con / child & animal abuse / underage scenarios or aged up characters / bimbo! reader / domestic abuse & hardcore violence (unless it’s part of the plot) / race play / scat / necrophilia / limbless / intense bodily torture / beastiality (this doesn't include the omegaverse or monsters, I'm open to that with exception).

I won't write for male gay or trans characters. This is out of respect for people who live that experience and want to see a proper representation of those identity/relationship dynamics. I feel that I will do a disservice in properly depicting those very real experiences as a cis woman, and I advise readers to find writers who cater to their wants & needs.

©️ ovaryacted 2023. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

[lovingdeathmetalbygendercritical]

One thing that I find very interesting to observe in TRAs, trans people and gender ideology supporters in general is that they recognize the contradictions and problems that surround the theory and practice of gender, but rather than simply trying to put an end to them once and for all, they maintain them through means they deem to be progressive.

Example. Trans women who reproduce femininity – shave themselves, wear makeup, uncomfortable clothes, everything they think that makes a woman. When you discuss this with them, you discover that they know femininity is an imposition that hurts women, but they reproduce it so that their identities are validated by people (being a woman is being feminine, therefore, I reproduce femininity = I look like a woman, I am a woman). That is, you, who consider yourself a woman and believe that you are oppressed just as one, who have the choice not to be feminine since femininity was not imposed on you since you were a child and never will be since you can just choose to continue looking like a man, instead of trying to end this imposition by not reproducing femininity, contributes to its maintenance, making "you" and other women continue to be oppressed by it just to have your identity validated by society.

Or else the meaningless, useless and often identical genders that were created by these people. This in particular reminds me of that tiktok where a gender fluid girl says she tries to show her gender through bracelets, pink for when a girl and blue for when a boy. Instead of abolishing typically conservative, backward and old-fashioned gender stereotypes, they start to put a more progressive lens over them – it's ok to reinforce these stereotypes when it comes to transsexuality. The point is that they know that these stereotypes are useless, obsolete, backward, even negative for society somehow, but they prefer to paint them pink rather than just abolish them.

In this way, the post-modernist lgbt community continues to soften and modify these gender-related inconsistencies so that they are more cool and convenient for them and society without actually acting effectively at the root of the problem.

[flokali]

ꉂ★ Manners

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✕ 𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 :

— This is a yandere blog, I – Mori – don’t condone any, and I mean any, of the behavior displayed in this page or in my fics.

— I am well aware that fiction does hold an impact on reality, especially on the minds of young people, which is why I ask this account be 17+. However, I also believe that dark content in fiction isn’t wrong by itself as long as all parties involved (either it be as a maker or consumer) are aware of the severity and wrongness of the actions displayed.

— If you don’t want to or just don’t follow the rules, there’s nothing I can do – I simply hope you’re mature enough to understand that this is only fiction and that this behavior isn’t healthy (though I will say; I block)

— I write for female, male, and gender neutral readers. You ought to specify in your request what gender you’d like else I’ll default to GN.

— As I’ve said, I'll mainly write for: Genshin Impact (main), Honaki: Star Rail, Love and Deepspace, Twisted Wonderland, Enstars, and Tears of Themis ; I may post about other

— Do not recommend me on any other platforms, especially on Tiktok. Please, the platform is filled with minors and the last thing I need is a child running around reading through my blog. Please ask before translating any of my fics into another language.

— I will write: non-con, dub-con, cnc, yandere, gore, violence, cannibalism, a/b/o, breeding, pegging, dom readers, sub readers, sadomasochism, mind control, mind break, milfs/dilfs, cheating, & somno. Basically most things go?

— I won’t write: underage, unhygienic, self-harm, vore, beastiality, anything to do with unsanitary bodily fluids (piss nd scat), & ddlg.

— If anything isn’t listed here please ask me!

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✕ 𝘙𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 :

— Before I say anything else, I want to make one thing clear: I block liberally. If I see anyone actively going against my rules – it’s a block. I hope I don’t sound too rude but this is my blog and I’ll curate the experience.

— This is a side blog, one which I may transfer to a new account, I can’t send asks without showing my main; it’s easily accessible but I won’t be interacting much via main, sorry.

— Ask to tag, correct me on the terminology used or point out something that I missed, but don’t be rude about it — I’ll do my best to tag everything but things can slip my mind.

— Don’t try and guilt me into doing, changing things, or writing either; I don’t mean to sound rude but I’m literally just someone on the internet, I really, really don’t owe you anything and neither do you owe me.

— No bigotry, this includes (and isn’t limited to): Terf/Gender Critical Ideology, Racism, Xenophobia, Transphobia, Homophobia, Biphobia, Anti-Semitism, Zionism, etc. I’m not going to argue with you, go talk to the wall.

— MAPS/NO-MAPS (aka pedos) are also not welcomed and will be not only blocked but reported too.

— Radfems or “Gender Criticals”.

— Hate of any kind will either be deleted or posted to make fun of you, send three hate asks and you’re blocked though </3

… … … … …

If you are not 18+ don’t message or interact with me directly, please, you’re making me extremely uncomfortable. You shouldn’t be on this account in the first place but if you’re going to do it at least don’t be rude about it and brag to me. I know you think you’re mature (and realistically, you probably are!) — just, this isn’t the place for you. Come back here when you’re of age, please.

All of these rules have been written with my own experience and biases in mind, I’ve been on the “dark content” side of the internet for way longer than I should have — and I’m telling you this with all the love I can possibly give you. If you’re not 18+, don’t interact with me nor this account. I’m super honored anyone of any age likes my content but I’m begging you, please — wait until you’re older as exposure to this could affect you in the long run in a negative way.

[omenapologist-moved]

I believe negative social atttitudes towards different sexualities, genders, morality, paraphilias, and more are either the root cause of or contribute to some subsets of OCD.

This got longer than I expected. CW for talking about mental illness, detransitioning, and pedophilia. I don’t go into graphic detail about CSA, for what it’s worth, but I know some people will be upset regardless so I felt the need to add a disclaimer.

so, sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder or SO-OCD (formerly known as HOCD; homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder or just “gay ocd” but considering anyone of any sexuality can be affected by this SO-OCD makes more sense) in my opinion only exists as a product of a homophobic society. I do not think, for the most part, people would develop an obsessive fear about whether or not they are gay if it were accepted and a non-issue like how being straight is. as someone with OCD myself, it targets that which is important to us and doesn’t exist in a vacuum. 

At the start of my transition, I began developing obsessive thoughts surrounding my gender identity. What if I’m not actually trans? What if I’m wrong and I need to detransition? What if I’m just a fucked up and confused girl? and so on, even though I have always experienced acute physical dysphoria, feel a lot better about myself when I’m referred to with masculine language, and transitioning in general has made me happier and more comfortable in my body than ever before. That’s the nature of the illness. It distorts our cognition and hyperfixates on the uncertainty of things. There is no set-in-stone way to well and truly know your gender or sexuality, because these things are extremely fluid and personal and influenced by your environment, as is the case with social constructs.

Now, why would I be so troubled by this? If I am wrong and I decide to detransition, sure, I’ll have more body hair and a deeper voice and, come november, a flat chest, but all of these things have solutions, too. It isn’t the end of the world, or my life, if I detransition, but I most likely won’t! But the reason I was developing these obsessions is honestly pretty simple. At the time, I placed my own gender and transition at very, very high importance, someone I had previously been close to began detransitioning, and the fucking Youtube algorithm of all things began recommending me the vlogs of several detransitioned FTMTF people. But most pertinently, the pervasive attitude in most circles that detransitioning is the worst possible thing ever and is life-ending and you’re going to be ruined forever if you’re wrong about your gender. All of this created a cocktail of self-doubt in me. 

I’ve gotten a lot better, and fortunately those obsessions didn’t swing fully into a gender-focused OCD, but I know that isn’t the case for everyone, and I’m getting a little off topic here, anyway.

POCD, or pedophilia obsessive compulsive disorder, must be a living hell. POCD is the obsessive fear that you are or might become a pedophile. Here’s a pretty good source talking about POCD in better detail. I need to make it explicitly clear that people with POCD are not pedophiles.

I think in no small part those who struggle with this subset of OCD are made worse by society’s attitude towards pedophilia. That being, even if you never hurt a child ever, even if it remains only within the realm of your thoughts, a pedophile is the worst possible thing you can ever be, and if you even think about attraction to a minor you should be subject to an endless barrage of increasingly creative means of violence and execution. 

But here’s the thing. You can’t control having a paraphilia. You don’t get to just opt out of it, as convenient as that may be. I don’t believe we should condemn an entire swath of people, notably those who have done no harm, because they have a paraphilia they did not choose to have. This attitude hurts these people directly and absolutely does not help cut down on sex crimes against minors. Because rather than being able to pursue help, they hide it, and keep it to themselves, and it festers and worsens like an infected blister until eventually it pops, and the aftermath causes suffering for all.

And not only does this attitude hurt people with this paraphilia, not only does it not help in “protecting the children”, it hurts people who do not have the paraphilia; those with POCD. I’ve been in OCD forums and I have seen people struggling so fucking hard with the complete and utter self-loathing brought about by POCD, and what hurts even more is that more often than not they cannot talk about it in fear of losing their jobs, their families, their friends, and their livelihoods. Which, coincidentally is the exact same issue this attitude inflicts on those who are pedophiles. Isn’t it shocking that stigma doesn’t incentivize people to ask for help, nor does it make anything better? 

I am not saying we should ~normalize pedophilia~ or whatever, rather, we shouldn’t have this disgusting attitude towards them of “kill on sight!” and should instead try to figure out what helps these people without having minors hurt. All too often I see self-identified prison abolitionists and harm reductionists calling for the imprisonment or death of these people, and that shows me that you don’t actually want prisons to be abolished or to do the least amount of harm. You just want to be the wardens, the ones able to deal out the harm because you think yourself to be right and just. And that way of thinking simply is not in line with anarchism, and honestly, leftism in general. 

[bettsc]

and this year I will fall (with no worries at all)

Or, a Dash and Lily’s Book of Dares Bughead AU 

My Bughead Secret Santa Gift for the incredibly lovely and wonderful @crowns-and-milkshakes​! It’s been such a pleasure to get to know you and thank you for sharing all of your holiday cheer! <3

This is a forthcoming au that I’ve been working on for you. This year being the year that it is, time got away from me and it’s not quite ready to post. I am so sorry and promise that it is coming, but I wanted to at least give you something during the holiday. I hope you enjoy a little sneak preview! 

And it’s there between two used copies of Franny and Zooey that he sees it. From the looks of it it’s a red notebook, probably stuck there by someone who had decided not to make the purchase after all. Grabbing it, he makes his way back to the information desk to bug Kevin once more. 

“Gotcha again, someone clearly was just too lazy to---” Jughead stops just before the desk when he notices the cover of the notebook. 

Do you dare?

He looks around, ensuring this isn’t some kind of joke. Kevin has made himself look busy on the phone (it’s too bad Jughead can hear the dial tone as he pretends to be talking to someone). On the first page of the book is a message, 

I’ve left some clues around the store for you. If you want them, turn the page. If not, simply place this back on the shelf. 

This notebook was clearly placed amongst the shelved to mess with someone. His curiosity gets the best of him though and Jughead turns to the next page to have a look at these mysterious “clues”. 

So you’ve decided to play? Well then, let’s start by expanding your knowledge on French pâtisserie. It took this chef nine years to finish her first cookbook, but let’s hope it doesn’t take you this long to figure out this clue. 

512, 3, 9

Jughead doesn’t know much about cooking or baking, only eating, which won’t serve him in solving this clue. He whips out his phone but before he can pull up a search, he spots another line of writing at the end of the page, 

And if you have to use your phone to solve these, don’t bother playing. 

Alright then, he thinks. Seeing that Kevin is off his pretend phone call and there’s nothing in the notebook about it, he supposes it’s not cheating to ask for assistance at the information counter. 

“Could you point me in the direction of books on French pâtisserie?” 

“Nope.” 

“What? Come on,” Jughead presses. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be doing? This is the information counter after all.” 

Kevin nods his head towards the red notebook Jughead is holding.“I promised her I would not help anyone in regards to that.” 

Frustrated, he tries to reason, “Look, I’m sorry about earlier and the mishelving,I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose.” 

Kevin gives him a silent, unimpressed look. 

‘You’re really not going to help me then? Fine, I--” And that’s when it hits him. “Wait. You said her. It’s a her?” 

“No, I never said that,” he flusters. 

“You did say that, I heard you. It’s a woman and she is testing my knowledge of The Strand.” 

Clearly irritated with himself for the slip of tongue, he sighs in resignation, “Look I will not confirm nor deny that it is a her you seek because gender is fluid and a complete social construct.”

Jughead nods his head in agreement.

“However,” Kevin points his finger at him. “Just know that the woman who you seek is very special to me and if you so much as think about hurting her, you’ll have me to deal with. And let me know remind you that I have the power to have you banned from the store for life, Jughead.”

He swallows loudly, “Duly noted. And before I go any further with this, can you at least tell me we’re in the same age range and I’m not some creep preying on a young woman?” 

Kevin gives him the once over and sighs in defeat, “Fine. Yes, I’d wager to guess that you’re around the same age and I’ll even give you some kudos for trying to be a decent non-creepy bro.” 

“Thanks, Kevin.” Jughead chuckles lightly and decides to try his luck once more, “So...you’re really not going to tell me where to find these sections, are you?” 

Kevin gives him a knowing smirk, “Good luck.” 

Jughead looks back over the clue and then sets off to the only logical place a book on French pâtisserie might be, the culinary section. 

Much to his dismay, most of the books concerning pâtisserie are in fact, in French. After a few strides up and down the aisle that holds the section of books, one that appears to be in English catches his eye. As he pulls it down from the top shelf, he notes how heavy the teal covered book is and is equally as surprised that he’s familiar with the author’s name: Julia Child. 

He refers back to the original clue, which instructs him to find the six words to complete the question at the end of the scavenger hunt. Realizing the corresponding numbers below the clue are possibly a code, he opens the heavy text to page 512, line 3, 9th word and fills in the first blank answer. 

Are. 

Feeling pleased with himself, Jughead turns the page for the next clue, “Alright, Clue girl. Let’s see what else you’ve got in store for me.”