#i am sick of the 911 jokes

[submalevolentgrace]

Calling some US actions after 9/11 “mistakes” is the height of imperial arrogance. During the Bush administration and beyond, inarguably the most destructive US presidency in the 21st century, there was a worldwide torture campaign, the creation and expansion of the detention centre in Guantanamo Bay, the illegal invasion of Iraq, the use of black sites for extraordinary rendition and the death of nearly five million people, according to Brown University’s Cost of War Project. Today, Israel is also filled with anger and vengeance and does not care one iota about the death of Palestinian civilians. Many in the Netanyahu-led government have expressed genocidal intent towards the entire Palestinian population. Most in the Israeli military and public are celebrating the physical abuse of Palestinians. Amid an atmosphere that is remarkably similar to the US after 9/11, the Israeli “war on terror” is taking shape. With resounding approval from the general public, the Israeli army has undertaken systematic carpet bombing of the Gaza Strip, dropping in a month more than 25,000 tonnes of explosives, the equivalent of two nuclear bombs. The bombardment of the small enclave mirrors the US air campaigns that used an extraordinary amount of ordnance on Iraq and Afghanistan over two decades, leaving behind immense devastation.

this is the closest i've seen to anyone else really pointing out the links between post-911 america and current israel.

why is there not the same outrage, the same condemnation, of the usa that there is of israel? from my own personal experiences: because it is not safe for us, citizens in supposed allied countries of the usa, it is not safe for us to condemn the usa. it is still not safe for us to condemn the usa's "war on terror", a war that is still happening, that hasn't ended for over 20 years. if "foreigners" condemn america, we become terrorists, so there is only space left for americans to condem america, and they do not care.

i saw with my own eyes in real time the mass support from americans for the war on terror, the rage, the thirst for revenge, the only space allowed for criticism among your self policing was the "anti-war" stance that bush was after the wrong kinds of foreigners. when you were and are told of the children being drone bombed by operators in your local shopping malls, you wail and cry in deflection: "that's the government, not us! we are powerless! we don't even have healthcare!"

do you think the children you are bombing in yemen, somalia, and pakistan have healthcare? do you even know you're killing them? you have direct bodily access to your politicians, you know where they work, where they live. if you are demanding israeli citizens force their government to stop killing palestine, what have you done in the last 20 years? what can you bring yourself to be bothered to do, if the lives your government are crushing are just dumb cringe foreigners that don't even use fahrenheit?

better to just be outraged at israel for copying your war crimes homework, that's safe.

i don't even know if i can safely tell you what happens to "allied" citizens that dare stand too tall against the war america forced us into, because i shouldn't know.

americans are the only ones that can stop their government.

americans are the only ones that can stop my government, too.

[stylespresleyhearted]

THIS JUST IN: CALLUM TURNER SOON TO BE DAD

masterlist can be found here

liked by anthonyboyle and 53819 others

yourinstagram strollin’ London w my London boy

view all comments

fan12 am i gonna have to be the one to say it … she’s pregnant

fan23 i agree she’s only been seen in callum’s clothes of oversized jackets it’s diff from her usual style

user13 deuxmoi said on her podcast that a trusted source confirmed she’s pregnant. I believe it you can see a hint of the belly here.

user23 1) we’re in 2024 how about we stop speculating women are pregnant every time their bodies change and 2) if they are pregnant Callum will share when he’s ready respect their privacy

fan49 PLEASE Callum she ain’t going anywhere why you gripping so tight 😭😭

liked by user12, fan13, and 94817 others

tmz BREAKING NEWS: After months of speculation TMZ is finally able to confirm, Callum Turner and his girlfriend are expecting. Turner’s leading lady was photographer exiting his Los Angeles home. More pics and video in link in bio.

view all comments

user23 the violation of privacy is INSANE! Callum and Y/N I’m so sorry.

fan41 DM SAID IT!!! Congrats to the lovely couple!

user02 They were probably trying to enjoy it between the two of them but TMZ sat outside their home to snap photos. Callum’s already so private now he’s going to give us NOTHING i hope ya’ll nosy people happy

user78 callum been daddy iktr 🙌🏼

liked by austinbutler, keoghan92, and 73195 others

yourinstagram When we found out I was pregnant we were so overjoyed we felt like our hearts could burst. It was something we were keeping sacred between our friends and family now that has been taken from us.

Mumma and Daddy can’t wait to meet you, baby. We promise to always protect and put you first. Thank you everyone for all the love and we ask that you respect our privacy during this time. - Cal & Y/N

comments have been limited

rafflaw His hand is always on the belly! Congrats man!

keoghan92 Let me and Brando know when you’re free for a playdate ♥️ children are the most precious things, much love

austinbutler Congratulations, love you guys.

lillyjames The media is horrid. So much love to your little family <3

camillerow Can’t wait to spoil them rotten

liked by user13, fan12, and 23916 others

dailymail Despite how news of his impending fatherhood broke, Callum Turner was all smiles on the Masters of the Air set as he received hugs and congratulations from the cast and crew.

view all comments

user13 He is overjoyed he is going to be the best Dad

fan12 it feels so good to see him so happy 😭

user93 do ya’ll think Barry and him crack Dad jokes on the set? LMAO

fan21 Sending him and his family all the love as they celebrate these fantastic news ❤️❤️

liked by user93 and 410 others

callumupdates Y/N spotted looking a bit sick at the market yesterday. Hope she is doing okay 🥺

view all comments

user21 she looks insanely gorgeous wdym sick

callumupdates she’s always gorgeous but you can’t deny she looks tired and pale i’m worried the attention could be getting to her i hope callum is taking good care of her and their baby.

fan12 She’s pregnant, leave her alone.

fan13 Some women get overly tired/sick while pregnant. It’s a big change for the body. We should do what they asked and respect their privacy during this time. Why would a pap be following her around in her state?

user09 i’m really worried guys

yourinstagram Guys, I promise I’m fine and Callum is the best support system I could have ever possibly asked for 💘 Some women thrive during pregnancy but it’s kicking my ass and having someone follow me around snapping pics when I don’t feel my best doesn’t help, however I’m still so so happy to be carrying our precious gift. Thank you all for the love and support.

liked by user10 and 911 others

callumfan HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO SAY IT? Callum and Y/N already asked for privacy and Y/N has already stated she doesn’t feel her best/isn’t comfortable having people take pictures of her right now! Why is that so hard to respect?

view all comments

user19 this picture is heartbreaking. he’s glaring at the camera and it looks like she’s sinking into him trying to hide.

user11 she looks so tired and sad it sucks

fan13 don’t want no one complaining about callum being private because this right here is why he doesn’t share with us

liked by fan12 and 976 others

callumupdates Callum was not happy when he stopped for fans and they approached Y/N after he explicitly told them not to. She was in one of his sweaters and beanies and looked like she was trying to hide, according to a fan there. Callum stepped in and told the fans to step away from Y/N before the couple walked away.

view all comments

user23 Y/N is acting like she’s the first person to get pregnant she’s dramatic

fan13 she has stated she is happy to be carrying their child but the pregnancy is taking a toll on her body and mind which is why she’s always hiding/ looks tired. Not everyone has amazing pregnancies

keoghan92 It’s already annoying as is when you’re feeling like shit and people shove cameras in your face. Can’t imagine having to deal with it while also being pregnant. Cheers Y/N, may everyone start giving you the respect you deserve

liked by fan23 and 671 others

callumupdates New photo of Callum consoling Y/N last night after the restaurant they were at was swarmed - March 28

view all comments

fan23 he’s gonna pop off on someone and at this point he has every right

user12 I love them so much it hurts to see her he so sad!

fan19 alright who do I have to fight?

user10 there’s nothing Callum wouldn’t do for her 🥹

liked by austinbutler, oliviadejonge, and 416491 others

yourinstagram Little munchkin is wearing momma out 🫶🏻 Thank you to everyone for the concern, as I stated before it’s been a huge change for my body to adjust but I have never been happier. Callum, I love you and our baby to the moon and back forever. ♾️

view all comments

kaiagerber you’re unreal

lillyjames I know Mr. Turner is taking great care of you 😌

yourinstagram He’s the best and possibly more nervous/excited than me haha

yourfriendsinstagram LOVE YOU PEOPLE ♥️

anthonyboyle if I buy the pregnancy stimulator can we put it on these assholes saying shit online? You’re great Y/N!

yourinstagram LOL STOP IT!

liked by austinbutler, yourinstagram, and 98111 others

rafflaw Catch us outside if you wanna talk about @yourinstagram 👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻

view all comments

yourinstagram YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY 😂🫶🏻

keoghan92 where am I at? I’m leading the cause

anthonyboyle photoshop us in right now

tomhanks I want a piece of this too.

liked by yourinstagram and 918655 others

callumupdates Y/N and Callum on their babymoon in Cabo. Friends and family in attendance are: their mothers, Barry Keoghan, Sabrina Carpenter, Austin Butler and his girlfriend, Lilly James, Sophie Turner, Daisy Lowe, and Nick Grimshaw.

view all comments

fan19 they are so loved 🥰 as they should be tbh

user23 I’m so happy they have a strong support system

fan24 it feels so good to see Y/N smile again

yourinstagram honestly it’s been a wild ride but Callum’s been my biggest blessing through it all 🫶🏻♾️

Hope you all enjoy, this was a request <3 If anyone’s interested in part 2 let me know because I have loads of baby pics I can use lmao & as always feel free to pop in and talk to me about Callum, Austin, Elvis, or Harry if your heart desires 💘

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika request? Have we done this yet:

Modern AU where reader and Sevika live together. Sevika is usually up well before reader is and she'll wake reader up most days before she heads off to work. She will usually text cute little things until her gf wakes up. Except...she gets no answers. :(

When reader finally is up, she's called off work sick as a dog and finally texts Sevika back. But Sevika being the lovely butch she is takes the rest of the day off work to take care of her gf 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

CUTEEEEEEE

men and minors dni

most mornings, sevika's gone for work before the sun even rises.

it sucks, but you guys find ways to work around it.

you cook her breakfasts the night before and leave them out for her to re-heat in the mornings.

she always kisses you when she leaves. (sometimes you wake up under her lips and smile at her, sometimes you sleep through it, but every morning you wake up with a little smudge of brown lipstick on your forehead or cheek.)

she leaves a cup of coffee or tea waiting for you in the microwave before she goes--made just the way you like it.

and, your favorite part of your morning routine, sevika will text you all morning until you wake up and text her back.

sometimes it's pictures of the sunrise, sometimes it's links to a podcast she was listening to on the way to work, sometimes it's jokes or complaints or, on special occasions, a saucy selfie or two.

sevika's favorite part of her morning is getting the first text back from you, sometimes a paragraph, sometimes an eye-roll emoji, but always signed off with a heart and a 'have a good day baby.' from you.

so she's a little worried when 8 am rolls around and she hasn't heard from you.

she texts you to check up on you, sometimes you get distracted or too busy to text her back. 'good morning baby.'

9 am rolls around and she still hasn't heard from you. she starts to worry a lot.

she gives you a call. it goes straight to voicemail.

she's about ready to call 911 when she finally hears back from you.

10:35 am, her phone pings, and she nearly breaks her neck trying to get to her desk to pick it up and read your message.

'just woke up with a fever. called out sick. feel like shit :('

you slept through your alarm, woke up with your eyes and nostrils crusted and your alarm blaring three hours later than you usually do.

your boss, thank god, had just recovered from the same bug that seems to be going around your office, so he was understanding when you called out sick.

you don't even have the energy to get to the kitchen after you slam the alarm off and update your boss and sevika. you just stumble to the bathroom to vomit, splash some water on your face, then return to bed to sleep.

you're surprised when, only forty minutes after you close your eyes, you're being shaken awake by sevika. "sev?" you mumble, sitting up in bed. "w' time is it?"

"almost noon." she says. you frown.

"you got work." you pout. sevika snorts, ducking down to kiss your forehead.

"you're burning up." she says, pulling away with a pout. you're still confused, staring up at her with a furrow in your brow. "i took the day off."

despite how shitty you feel, you still manage to feel a warm, affectionate thrum in your heart. sevika looks away from your sweet smile, flustered, and your love for her only grows.

you reach out and squeeze her hand. "gonna put on a little nurse's uniform for me?" you ask, waggling your eyebrows at her. sevika bursts into laughter and flicks your forehead again.

"you don't have the energy for all that right now."

"i can still enjoy the view." you say. sevika chuckles, then kisses your cheek again.

"go back to bed." she mumbles against you. "'m gonna make you some chicken noodle soup and tea. got some medicine for you too." she says. you sigh, snuggling into the pillow beneath you.

"you're the best." you mumble. sevika smiles and your heart skips a beat. "but..."

sevika raises an eyebrow at you, waiting for you to finish. you put on your best pathetic-sick-puppydog eyes and blink up at her.

"you think you might wanna cuddle for a while before you make soup?" you ask. sevika grins.

"scoot over." she says, unbuttoning her shirt and kicking her shoes off. you grin.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

[nqueso-emergency]

the BoBs are turning on bucks coming out scene at the wedding now, saying it did nothing but make a joke out of it, that tommy pushed buck into it, it’s so out of character, the show didn’t take it seriously etc…

i swear everyone loved the coming out scene when it first happened? but now, because it’s linked to tommy, they have to hate it.

some people are even ragging on maddie for saying “how long have you been leaning in the other DIRECTION” because apparently calling it a direction is derogatory.

like. it was the perfect, most Buck way of coming out, just a face full of soot from making out with his hot pilot boyfriend. it’s a lovely, lighthearted moment, which is exactly what Tim said he wanted to do. None of Buck’s coming out scenes were serious or sad.

All of Buck’s coming out scenes were very lighthearted- meaningful, but lighthearted. When Buck came out to maddie, he was more bothered that he’d lied to eddie about what he was doing that night rather than the fact he was on a date with a man (which, that scene always gets twisted because maddie says “if there’s something you need to tell eddie” (not verbatim) and the BoBs always took that as maddie pushing buddie, but the whole scene is very clearly centred around Buck feeling guilty about lying to eddie about what he was doing). When he came out to Eddie, he was again more bothered about clearing up that he was on a date with a man, not out with a friend.

Buck, on screen, was never, not one singular time, bothered that he was on a date with a man. He felt bad about lying to his bestfriend about it, but we never saw Buck feel unsure about or debate his bisexuality, he came to terms with it in a way many bisexual people do. It just clicked for him, it didn’t trouble him.

So, sorry that none of the coming out scenes were sad, sorry that the hospital coming out scene wasn’t a bigger deal, but Buck didn’t think it was a big deal, so it didn’t need to be one. He just wanted to introduce everyone to his new boyfriend- not because he’s a man, but because they’re together.

Sorry this was long. been pent up for a while. Hope it made sense.

It makes perfect sense!!

And you know what? Fuck whoever is saying those negative things about the way Buck came out.

Why does everything have to be such a huge fucking production? This isn't 13 reasons why, it's fucking 911. They do not dredge shit like this through the mud. And honestly thank god because coming out, in a way that's comfortable for you and not making it feel like something you HAVE to do is honestly a really beautiful thing to see.

I am so sick and tired of bestie boos wanting shit to be the slowest of slow burns.

And you know what else? The only reason they're backtracking now I because they have nothing else. Ryan and Oliver aren't doing bts just the two of them, Oliver isn't reacting to anything really.

I hope they understand that they're slow burn that they wanted so fucking bad is actually taking place on the actors they claim to love. They're burnt out and honestly I can't wait for the first sign of Buddie being pulverized.

[themightymoose]

Pepper headcanons!!!!

🎉🎉🎉

Oh yeah the moment that I've been waiting for mwahahaha >:)

This one is much longer than the other headcanon lists I did

So in a previous headcanon I sent in an ask to priz I stated that in the human au, Pepper was a foster kid who got adopted by Pete at age 13 or 14

And as a pet her foster parents were her owners

... but I don't think I stated how many different owners/foster parents she went through before Pete came into the picture. Her foster parents included:

A cult leader, a cop, a serial killer, a thief, a member if that cult that the cult leader leads, an actor, a firefighter, a director, a model, an athlete, an alpha male podcaster (I am so sorry girl-)

There's probably more but the point is is that she moved around a lot

And all of them were shit to her

also don't ask how criminals were able to adopt a child

Pretty please

They would physically, mentally, verbally, or emotionally abuse her. Or neglect her

Some treated her like an object or a trophy that they flaunted around, while others treated her like an embarrassment, a nuisance that they had to hide from the world

oh and don't even get me started on the criminals my lord-

There's only so long that Pepper moved around homes where she began to wonder what was wrong with her

She ended up liking the ones that would physically abuse her the most, because at least she got some kind of touch from it

I'm not going to be getting into stuff with Pete because their will be a fic about their relationship 😉

But I think at least one of her owners put a shock collar on her as a way to dehumanize her. I also think that some of them would try and choke her until she was unconscious

This resulted in Pepper hating having her neck touched

Even her hair brushing against her neck makes her feel uneasy

But Pepper keeps it in a ponytail because she doesn't really want to cut her hair

Pepper has to really trust you to let you touch her neck

Okay let's get into happier headcanons shall we

Pepper is ridiculously ticklish

She is immensely overprotective of her friends, but she'll never admit it

I also mentioned that she has a real comparison problem. By that I mean she always finds a way to compare herself to literally any person she crosses. It's especially bad with Zoe

Mainly because they're best friends and having the most conventionally attractive person as your best friend while you hate yourself is a not so good combination

The solution? Write down all the reason you love her and read it to her all the way through

Zoe did that

And Pepper was like >:(

Back to her being overprotective because I'm very inconsistent. Any insults thrown at her are completely brushed off by her. Why should she care? Everyone said that to her, why is it different now? Also she's a comedian, she's used to it

But if you insult her friends???? Run

Pepper was genuinely confused the first time her friends stood up for her

She cried listening to jealousy jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo

She's taking that to the grave

Pepper actually has freckles but you can only see them if she's out in the sun long enough. They were much more visible when she was a kid

She's one of those people that are so chill when she gets injured

"Oh can you grab a bandaid real quick? Yeah, no, don't worry I just chopped my finger off. It's fine I just need a bandaid..... What do you mean you're calling 911-"

Bro she is so snuggly and clingy when she's sick

She'll be clinging to one of her friends and they'll just be like "I know I should move because then I'll get sick but Pepper is just too damn cute-"

Pepper pretends she doesn't remember anything when she actually does. She just doesn't want to relive the cringe

She tells really bad jokes when she wants affection. Worse than usual

"Did you hear about the friend that... really wants a hug?" And then halfway through she'll start mumbling and rambling because she's only just now realizing she did not think this through

The most attractive thing about a person according to Pepper is their laugh

This one time Pepper got drunk and ended up rambling about all the abuse she endured to one of her friends and they just stared at her like 😦

Don't ask which friend

[mrs0verthink3r]

Blog intro (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

The basic stuff about me 

Hello my name is Irene or joy which ever one you want to call me :) 

Age : 16 

pronouns: she/her/hers

Sexuality: straight 

I have 2 cats ( Kitty and Garfield) 

( I do have autism but that’s like whatever) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I am looking for friends

Personality 

I am a kind person but if you are rude to me I will be rude back so. 

ISFP or INFP idk  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I do curse sometimes but not all the time. 

I do have mental health issues/ problems but I am working on them so I am okay right now 

My hobbies (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

Drawing ( traditional and digital) 🎨

Reading 📖 

Listening to music  🎶 

Watching tv 📺 

Baking 🧁

Cuddling with my cat 🐱 

Working out 🏋️ 

Writing ✍️ 

Shopping 🛍️ 

I wanna start crocheting 🧶 :) 

Cleaning or helping out  🧽 🧹

( I love being alone sometimes lol )

pfp made by me, I don’t use ai for art and I take my time with it

My interests  =^._.^= ∫

Movies / shows : MLP , Miraculous ladybug , Ginny and Georgia, squid game, Alice in borderland, stranger things the rookie, modern family, young Sheldon, Orphan, Saw  movies , Triangle ,The autopsy of Jane doe,  Hell house , terrifier, Grave encounters , Ready or not ,A quiet place, The Blair witch project , mha, Madoka Magica, kakegurui, and many more ミ๏ｖ๏彡

Games : Genshin impact, Honkai star rail, Roblox, project sekai, Minecraft, Fnaf, shining Nikki ,pony town. ( I don’t have a pc,console, or computer ) 

Other things : I like cats sometimes other animals,  my favorite flowers are red spider lily’s, cherry blossoms, blue lotus flowers, and peony.

Creepypasta, slenderverse, Sanrio, vocaloids, ever after high, monster high,Bratz, Danganronpa, and more 

( I’M  NOT A TOXIC PERSON ) that includes everything I like, I’m not that type of person and I don’t hate on other’s interests, and I don’t Sexualize characters. So there’s no need to worry about me. ( just because I’m in a fandom doesn’t mean I act like the weird or toxic side of it) 

Music I listen to (*≧∀≦*)

( I really like music) ( It’s in no Pacific order) 

24 ATARASHII GAKKO!

23  kiss of life - Natty 

22 Itzy - my bias- Yeji 

21 New jeans - my bias - Hanni 

20 Halsey 

19 Insane clown posee 

18 Katy Perry 

17 Millionaires 

16 Kesha 

15 ILLIT - my bias - Minju

14 Britney Spears 

13 Black pink - my bias - Jennie 

12 Red velvet - my bias - Wendy 

11 le sserafim - my bias - Sakura 

10 Ic3peak 

9 Twice - my bias - Dahyun

8 Ive - my bias - Liz 

7 Aespa - my bias - Giselle 

6 Marina 

5 Lady Gaga 

4 Baby metal 

3 (G)I-DLE - my bias - Yuqi 

2 Jazmin bean 

1 Baby monster - my bias -  Ruka 

( you don’t need to worry I’m not a solo Stan, I like the whole group it’s just I like a member little more and I still support the other members. I am a Girl group Stan, but I won’t hate on you if you like any boy groups I just like girl groups better :))

DNI LIST 

Homophobic, Transphobic,etc.

Misogynistic

Racist, Sexist, Ableist, Discrimination, etc.

Pedophile, Sexualizes Minors, Jokes About R×pe, etc 

DO NOT  send me  S/H, e/d,nsfw etc stuff like that  

Over all I don’t want to deal with toxic/ stupid people I’m so sick of toxic people in general 

Daily Reminders for you and me    ૮ . . ���ིა⁩

Remember to drink water and eat healthy don’t skip a meal it’s only going to hurt you. 

Feel good about yourself don’t let others take away your confidence. 

It’s okay to take a break from social media for a few days or weeks everyone needs one. 

Please try to stay healthy I know so from personal experiences it can be hard but I believe in you try and get motivators work out. ( I like taking a shower or working out when I feel down it might be different for you though) 

Remember no is perfect  so it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes just don’t let it overflow 

Overall

I am here to talk if you want but if it’s sounds like it needs professional help please talk to a trusted adult. If you feel suicidal please text or call 988, 911, 741741 

Also don’t be an asshole, it’s my blog if you don’t like it you have a block button for reason so use it,  instead of being a no life who hates on everything you see. Have a good night or day everyone  :) 

  /ᐠ ˵> ˕ <˵マֶֶֶֶֶָָָָָ֢֢֢֢֢

[compassionatereminders]

i guess you could call this a vent or whatever but im going to tell you about something that has been making me crazy lately

so when i was like 3 i took a serious blunt force blow to the forehead. our house had hardwood floors and my brother had left a sock on the floor and i slipped on it and hit my head on the rounded corner of our oak coffee table. it left an inch long open wound and i was completely dazed and unresponsive, but conscious.

here is where i start getting frustrated. my mom didnt call 911 or take me to the ER, she took me to our family pediatrician. already really questionable imo but it gets worse. so ive got this gaping hole in my forehead and im unresponsive right? so what do they do? sew my forehead shut right there in the pediatricians office while i watched. didnt give me any anaesthetic or anything because i was, again, completely unresponsive.

then my mom was like "okay you arent bleeding anymore, can i leave now so i can go see the play i wanted to see?" but at this point im screaming and crying because im a toddler with fucking brain damage and a stitched wound that still hurts.

so she just took me home and that was that. and then for months afterwords she couldnt get me to wake up in the morning so she stuffed my limp body into my school clothes herself and took me to preschool half asleep. and then nobody ever spoke about it again except to make jokes.

its been two decades and i am only now realizing that ive had serious brain damage the whole time. my mom and brother have been shaming and belittling me for years for displaying symptoms of the brain damage that they gave me. my mom calls me a fucking spaz and my brother is pissed because he thinks i get "special treatment" instead of realizing that i need more help because he gave me brain damage. its like the final puzzle piece that explains why my life is such a mess.

and im just so overwhelmed by the fact that my mom and brother are directly responsible for the immense suffering ive endured over the past 20 years. all my health problems, the mental illness, the inability to avoid being abused, its all because of the brain damage. and they keep making fun of me for it. im not even mad im just. horrified. the sheer negligence of it all makes me sick. how many people like me are out there suffering from old brain injuries they didnt realize they had?

its like my brain cant even comprehend how fucked up the whole situation is. which is why im here telling it to you in the hopes that you will agree that its very bad 🙃

This is abuse and neglect on a level that no one and nothing could ever justify and I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. You deserved SO much better! ❤️

[ninjacat1515]

I live in Wildfire and Earthquake central. Back in 2017 a huge chunk of my town burned and the fires in Napa and Sonoma counties killed a total of 41 people. The Paradise fire that would sweep through the following year snatched more than twice as many lives and left that town lkttle more than ash and ruin. People burned to death in their cars trying to escape and there are recorded 911 calls of people being trapped in burning homes, desperate and screaming for help. So when people make fun of those affected by natural disasters, I feel my rage meter breaking apart.

Hurricanes are no fucking joke and the South needs respect and all of the support it can get. No one deserves to have their lives upended like that and these hurricanes destroyed so many. Donate if you can and reach out. I am so fucking sick and tired of people saying they "deserve" horrible things because of where they live or how some of them voted. Fuck that. You can't have a functioning society centered on that kind of thinking.

[bigskyandthecoldgun]

killer frequency

1 2 3

ao3

words: 3.3k

“911 is calling me to report a body?” Steve asks, and this has to be a joke. Albeit one he doesn’t really get the appeal of yet, but maybe it’s got something to do with the Guess That Scream segment. Maybe Owens had arranged it, had hired some actress to do an elaborate bit for the show. “Interesting set-up. Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the punchline, then?”

“Steve, I recognize her voice—and her name. I’m pretty sure that actually is our 911 operator. I think this is real,” Eddie says uncertainly, his voice going a little tinny over the headphones, and Steve frowns.

If it is real—and that’s a big if—Steve will apologize later. “Eddie, I’m not gonna be happy if this is a prank,” he warns. “I don’t do prank segments on my shows. It’s in my contract.”

It’s pretty ironclad. He’d been pranked one too many times by one of his asshole coworkers back in Chicago for the guy’s failing prank radio show to agree to them anymore. “Steve, I really don’t think this is a prank,” Eddie says, a little more firmly this time. “If it is, Owens didn’t warn me about it. But that’s Joyce for sure, and she’s not big on pranks either.”

Steve sighs. “Joyce, if you’re telling the truth, you should report this to the Chief, not a radio show. What was his name? Chief…Hopper? Am I remembering that right?”

“I’m at the police station right now,” Joyce says.

“Wait, what?” Steve asks, because it makes even less sense for her to be calling now.

“Deputy Powell is dead,” Joyce tells them, her voice a little shaky.

“What?!” Eddie shrieks, and Steve winces. “Deputy Powell is dead?!”

Joyce sighs—or at least, he’s assuming it’s her, it’s hard to distinguish whether wordless noises are coming from callers or Eddie. “I couldn’t get any response from the department. That’s never happened before, so I came to the station, and…I found him,” she explains, and she sounds like she might be sick.

Jesus. Steve doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to say to that. “Oh, shit, poor Powell. Do you know what happened to him?” Eddie asks, half-uncertain, like he doesn’t know whether or not he should be asking that question. Steve is staunchly on the side of the two of them not asking that question.

“Someone got him. Someone got up very close and—I really don’t want to say what they did to him,” she says, and Steve shudders.

“Did he…fight back?” he asks.

“I don’t know! I think he tried. He’s surrounded by bullet casings—I think he tried to shoot at whoever it was, but…” Joyce trails off.

Holy hell, this is insane. “Well, is—is anyone else at the station? Anyone who can help you or…who might be responsible?” Steve asks, fearing the answer to the latter.

Joyce sighs. “No, I-I checked everywhere. Chief Hopper is here, but he’s knocked out. tied up, and locked in a holding cell,” she says. “I called you right after I found him.”

Steve scrubs a hand over his face and leans over the desk, brows furrowed. “God…wait, please don’t tell me that this hick town only has two cops,” he says, bracing himself for a yes.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Joyce scoffs, “we have three. But Officer Callahan is on leave in the Everglades.”

“Joyce, do you have any idea who could have done this?” Eddie asks. “Is there anything around, any cars you might’ve passed?”

“Not a clue,” Joyce says. “I didn’t see anything on my way over. No cars, no people, nothing.”

Well, that’s a non-starter. “Joyce, you should call over to Seymour or Madison. They could send someone over from their department,” Eddie suggests.

“I tried, but I can’t call anything but local numbers! Something’s wrong,” she says. “I’ll have to go there myself, let them know what’s going on, and bring help back with me.”

The 911 operator is going to skip town after a police deputy got killed? “But if you leave while there’s a murderer on the loose, who’s going to man the emergency line?” Eddie asks nervously, and Steve’s glad that they’re at least on the same page here.

Joyce sighs. “That’s…why I called. Steve, I’ve routed all 911 calls to come in to you,” she says, shaky but somehow determined.

Steve feels panic start to set in. “I’m a radio talk show host, Joyce,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I talk to idiot people about their idiot ideas, I’m not a 911 operator! I’m not trained to handle a crisis! Why me?!”

“You might not be trained to handle a crisis, but you’re the only person with experience manning a phone line around here,” Joyce tells him. This town sucks. It’s empty. “You’re the only person even somewhat equipped for the job. Besides, there are lots of…transferable skills between the two! It’s, um—it’s like an interview, right? You ask questions to get information you can use, keep people talking, y’know? Guide the conversation, know when to jump in…”

It’s definitely optimistic of her, he’ll grant her that. “You do know that I’m so good at interviews they sent me from Chicago to Hawkins, right?” he asks her, sarcasm jumping out as a result of his ever-building panic.

Joyce sighs again. “So I’ve heard. But that doesn’t matter. And besides! There are two of you boys! You can talk to each other, discuss ideas, work together,” she tries. Steve supposes she has a point, but still. Unaware of the mental battle happening in Steve’s head at the moment, Joyce barrels on. “Hell, let’s have some on-the-job training right now. I have an emergency! I need to get an unconscious Chief Hopper out of that holding cell! It looks like whoever attacked him threw the keys into the cell after they locked the door.”

Steve massages his temples. “Uh, is there any way you can reach the keys?” he asks, and he realizes that it’s stupid to ask, because Joyce probably would have tried that by now.

“No. There aren’t any bars to the cell, and the door itself only has a food tray slot,” she says, and there’s a brief pause with a little sound of struggle intercutting it. “And that’s too narrow for me to reach through!”

“There’s gotta be another way in,” Eddie says.

Surely there isn’t just one set of keys, right? Yeah, granted, there’s only three—now two—police officers in Hawkins, and one of them is out of town, but… “There’s another set somewhere, right? I…you could check to see if Deputy Powell might’ve, uh, had a set,” Steve says, wincing, because he’s essentially just told this lady to search a dead body, but he’s not really sure she has another option.

“I didn’t see any at a glance, but…I didn’t really look up close. Hang on a second,” Joyce says, and there’s some shuffling. “Oh, God, I think I might be sick…sorry, Calvin. Just gonna turn you over, and—augh—please don’t stare at me, I…wait! That might be them! I think—I got the cell keys! Oh, thank God!”

Steve breathes out a sigh of relief. “Looks like Deputy Powell might’ve saved his Chief. Do the keys work, Joyce?” he asks.

There’s some footsteps, followed by metallic clanging, and then a delighted, slightly delirious laugh. “They do! They work! Give me a minute to figure this out. Hopper’s a big guy, I’m gonna see if I can’t get him on a chair to roll him out of here,” Joyce says. “I think I’m gonna need both hands for this, so I’ll be right back.”

Joyce goes silent. “So far so good, I guess. How are you, uh…handling this, Steve?” Eddie asks, all performativity long since dropped from his voice.

To be perfectly honest, Steve has no idea. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to handle this, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to react, and, above all, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to be feeling about all this. But, hey, apparently he’d done something right, given that Joyce had been able to open up the cell, and there probably won’t be too many calls this late at night with most people at home and in bed, so maybe it’ll be alright.

Steve takes a deep breath. “Well, y’know, that…seemed to go okay. Maybe Joyce was right, maybe we can handle the 911 calls tonight,” he says, cautiously optimistic.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, sounding encouraged, “yeah, maybe we can. I think you’re right. Though, I gotta say, I—well, I really hope this is the only call like this we get tonight.”

There’s not enough coffee in the world for this. “Same,” Steve says. “I can—”

“C’mon, Hop,” Joyce’s voice cuts in, and Steve’s immediately on high alert again, “work with me here, almost on your office chair—! There! Whew…we’ll head to my car in a minute. Uh, boys?”

“Hey, Joyce,” Steve greets.

“I’m back. Hopper’s still out cold. I’m gonna try and take him in the car with me to get help in Seymour. If the killer came back now, Hop would be a sitting duck,” Joyce says, a little on the shaky side.

As much as Steve hates the fact that there will be zero cops around, she has a point. For all they know, the only reason Powell’s killer had left Hopper alive had been to come back for him later on. “That’s a good idea,” Steve says. “We shouldn’t take any risks right now.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Joyce says. “You and Eddie just work together like you did earlier, alright? I believe in you, boys. Now, I’ll be back as soon as—”

She’s cut off by what sounds like a goddamn explosion, thankfully far-off. “Joyce, are you okay?!” Steve asks, because an explosion’s an explosion.

“My car’s on fire! Oh, shit!”

“What do you mean it’s on fire?!” Steve near-shouts, because holy hell.

“How the hell—did it just go up in smoke?! What happened?!” Eddie asks.

There’s a whistling noise, loud enough to be heard through the phone, and both Eddie and Joyce go silent. Steve blinks. It sounds like a person whistling, sure, but Joyce had said there’d been nobody else at the station, hadn’t she? And what’s that melody? It’s so familiar.

Steve hears a shaky breath, unsure of who it belongs to. “Wait…what? No—no way, this can’t…Steve, we have big trouble,” Joyce tells him.

“What’s happening? What’s that noise? It sounds like whistling,” Steve says.

“Whistling,” Eddie repeats, aghast. “It can’t be…”

As much as he understands the situation is dire, Steve really wishes someone would elaborate here. “Oh my God…I can see him, but…he’s dead, right? Right?!” Joyce demands, almost pleading. “But that mask—! How the hell is he…?”

“Who, Joyce? Who?!” Steve asks, feeling like a goddamn owl.

“The Whistling Man,” Joyce says.

What the hell? “The Whistling Man? Who’s that?” Steve asks, utterly lost. Eddie looks like he’s got his head in his hands in the silhouette in the window.

“He was a serial killer back in the fifties—wore that mask. But he’s dead!” Joyce explains.

“Oh, God,” Eddie mutters, “d’you think—do you think he attacked Powell and Hopper?”

An undead serial killer and a nonexistent police force do not sound like a combination that Steve wants any part of. ���He’s coming this way,” Joyce whispers.

“Joyce, stay inside and lock the doors,” Steve tells her, and he can barely make out the jingling of keys and the sound of footsteps.

“Shit, we need a new plan! My car’s torched, we need to think!” Joyce pants.

Steve should just go with his gut, shouldn’t he? His gut’s not often wrong; he’s actually been told he’s better at acting before he thinks, rather than the other way around. “There should be police cruisers at the station, right? Take one of those!”

“Yes—yeah, that could work! Let me see if Hop has—lemme just reach into his pocket—yes! Got ’em! Keys for squad car three! I saw it parked out front when I got here!”

“Nice one, Steve,” Eddie says, sounding nervous but relieved. “Good thinking!”

This is the most stressful thing Steve’s ever done in his entire life.

“But—wait. How am I supposed to get us to the car? The Whistling Man’s right there!” Joyce says, and—shit, that’s true. It’s also not good.

Steve’s certain that one of the cops has to have a gun. But Joyce had said there were casings all around Powell. “Uh, Chief Hopper probably carries a gun, right? Could you use that?” he asks, because if Powell’s out of ammo, Hopper’s gun is their best bet.

“Hop’s gun is missing,” Joyce tells him, which Steve honestly should’ve seen coming. What kind of psycho masked murderer wouldn’t take away someone’s most lethal weapon before tossing them in a cell? There’s still some pounding in the background; the creep hasn’t let up on the knocking. “The Whistling Man must’ve done something with it. The gun next to Powell’s empty, too, I-I don’t…what do I do?”

Steve runs a hand through his hair. “Is—do you see any other weapons?”

“I didn’t see anything earlier, but let me check…oh! I’ll check Hop’s belt!” Joyce says, and there’s some rustling coming from the other end of the line. “Okay, it looks like he’s still got his baton, his pepper spray, and his taser. I can only hold one if I’m gonna drag him outside with me on that stupid wheelie chair. Which one should I take?”

The answer’s obvious, right? Baton’s not gonna incapacitate this guy if he’d knocked the chief of police unconscious, and he’s wearing a mask, so pepper spray isn’t gonna do shit, either. “Take the taser, Joyce,” Steve says, and his hands are shaking, because if this is the wrong thing to tell her, she might actually die, and it would be his fault. Shit.

“Okay, I’ve got it! Just gonna grab Hop and..wait. Do you hear that?” Joyce asks.

There’s nothing on the other end of the line except for Joyce’s breathing. “No…? I can’t hear anything,” Steve tells her.

“Exactly. It’s gone quiet. No more knocking.”

Steve leans away from the mic to swear under his breath, though it’s kind of a fruitless endeavor now. “Be careful. I don’t like that it’s gone so quiet,” he says. It reminds him of that stupid horror movie cliché, the whole it’s quiet, too quiet thing.

Joyce sighs. “Me neither. But it’s an opening, and I gotta take it,” she says. “Okay, Hop, c’mon, time to—whew—get moving—yep, okay, you gotta lay off the Eggos.”

“Are you sure about this, Joyce?” Eddie asks.

“No time like the present,” Joyce tells them, and she’s braver than Steve thinks he ever would be in her place. “Here we go. Again, you’re—Jesus, Hop, it’s like pushing a pile of bricks—you’re hooked into dispatch now, so I should be able to radio you when I get to the car. If I reach it…ugh. Speak to you soon!”

Steve swallows. “Good luck, Joyce.”

The dial tone is piercing.

“That is one brave woman,” Eddie says with a shaky laugh. Steve nods. For once in his life, in his career in radio, he kind of finds himself speechless. “God, I hope she makes it through this.”

“Me, too. Y’know, I’ve gotta say…this really wasn’t what I expected when I came into work today,” Steve says.

Eddie must sense the tension in his voice, because he opts for a joke. “Well, you know what they say, Stevie. Gotta be ready for anything and everything in live radio,” he says.

Steve quirks a smile. “Oh, yeah? Who’s ‘they?’” he teases.

“Um, you know…just…the people that say that,” Eddie says, faux-fumbling it, and it makes Steve laugh a little. The mood sours, though, because the blinking light above line one has returned. “Oh, I think we’ve got Joyce back on the line, I’m putting the call through!”

That was fast.

“Hello?! Steve? Eddie? This is Joyce, are you there?! Over!”

Uh…right. “We’re here, Joyce. So, I-I guess you made it to the car, then?” Steve asks. Then, he blinks. “Oh, um, over…?”

Joyce actually lets out a little laugh at that. “Sorry about the walkie-talkie chat—old habit, but—um, yeah, we made it to the car! Hop’s in the passenger seat, still out cold. I don’t see the Whistling Man anywhere, and I don’t plan to wait for him, so I’m gonna get us moving,” she says. Then, there’s a bang, and a gasp. “Jesus! Goddammit! Get back—get away from him!”

“Joyce! What’s happening?!” Steve asks, though he’s got a sneaking suspicion it’s the most obvious answer. Occam’s Razor and all that shit.

“It’s the—no! Get off him, you son of a bitch!” Joyce shouts, and the telltale sound of electricity crackles through Steve’s headphone speakers, followed by a heavy thud. “Yeah! Take that!”

Holy shit. “Joyce, drive!” Steve says, voice raised with panic and secondhand adrenaline.

“Don’t worry, Hop, we’re getting out of here,” Joyce says quietly.

The squeal of tires pierces Steve’s ears, and he winces. “Are you guys okay?” he asks, feeling more genuine concern for a lady he’s literally never met before than he has for anyone else in a long time.

Joyce laughs, breathy and disbelieving. “Steve, that taser…definitely the right call. Oh my God, I can’t believe we escaped,” she says, and she laughs again.

“Well done, Joyce,” Eddie says, more earnest than Steve’s ever heard him. “You saved Hop’s life. But, uh, I guess that’s just another day for you, right?”

“I guess so,” Joyce says softly, pretty humble for someone who just kicked a presumably undead serial killer’s ass, “but lemme tell you, I really prefer doing it from your side of the phone.”

Well, Steve can’t help but agree with her there. “Joyce, how long do you think it’s going to take to get help?” he asks, because if this happens again, he might just lose his damn mind. This is too much pressure for him. He’s an interview guy.

“Hawkins isn’t Nowheresville, but it’s pretty damn close. It’s gonna take a while—maybe two, three hours each way…?” Joyce guesses, and Steve rubs at his temples. “Slightly less if I really put the pedal to the metal.”

The promise of four to six hours of this sounds like it’s going to make tonight easily the worst night of Steve’s entire life. “We’ll…do our best to keep everyone safe until then,” he tells her.

“Thank you, Steve. Just…keep doing what you did just now, and Hawkins is gonna be okay,” she says, and it’s surprisingly comforting. “Anyway, once I’m in—oh! I think Hop’s starting to stir! Steve, Eddie, I gotta go. I’ll be out of range soon, but I’ll radio back as soon as I can.”

“Good luck out there,” Steve tells her. “Come back to us in one piece.”

“Good luck, Joyce! Feel better soon, Chief,” Eddie says, and the dial tone sounds once more.

That had been…insane. Easily the craziest thing to happen to Steve since he’d gotten to meet Madonna herself in the studio for a radio interview. “Well, you, uh—you heard it here first, folks,” Steve says, and there’s no point in keeping up his radio voice, really, but it’s just a habit now. “There’s a killer on the streets of Hawkins tonight. Please make sure to stay safe. And, Joyce, we’re counting on you.”

“No more dead air,” Eddie whispers, probably having muted his mic, and Steve nods.

“We’re gonna get back to the show in the meanwhile. If you have anything on your mind, or if you’ve got any information on this ‘Whistling Man’ guy, then give us a call at 555-239-KFAM, and we’ll talk here, on 189.16–The Scream.”

“For now,” Eddie says, performative voice right back on, “our lovely host will spin another hit record for you all to enjoy. Take it away, Steve.”

Steve swaps out SOS for a different record. “This is Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive,” he announces as he sets it to play.

“Pretty fitting, if I do say so myself,” Eddie says.

The ‘on air’ sign switches off as the music plays, and Steve breathes a sigh of relief.

[chicgeekgirl89]

Will You Take What’s Left of Me?

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

Summary: “T.K., you have to understand,” he says, clinging desperately to his fiancé’s hands, as if holding him there will keep their relationship from falling apart. “I didn’t think I would ever be in love. I didn’t…T.K. I didn’t think anyone would ever want me. It seemed so impossible and I was scared of losing the love I did have from my family, my friends. I never imagined…I didn’t know love could be like this. I didn’t know it was something I was allowed to want. I didn’t know I could have you.”

A/N: Hi, hello, this is me trying to make sense of the mess Tim left us and honestly I'm not sure I figured it out because WOW it's a real big mess this time. I was going to write a Valentine's Day fic, but you get this instead so...sorry about that lol. I know there are probably several dozen of these out there, so if you're taking the time to read mine, I really appreciate it! Enjoy!

Read on AO3

Carlos can’t remember the last time he threw up, but standing in the fire house, waiting for T.K. to get back, he thinks he might today. His stomach has been tight and pinched ever since the phone call from the venue and his mouth tastes coppery. He’s shaky and nervous, fingers playing with the buckle on his belt as he waits and waits and waits.

His anxiety only worsens when T.K. finally steps out of the rig, all smiles and sunshine, his hair damp from the freak storm that just blew through. Carlos is going to hurt him, he’s going to wipe all that happiness right off T.K.’s face, and the knowledge has bile climbing up his throat. 

He follows T.K. up the stairs and into the bunk room, away from the prying eyes of their friends who are probably joking about a lovers spat over wedding planning. If they knew the real reason, he’d probably be run out of the firehouse and told never to return.

“What’s wrong?” T.K. asks as soon as the door is closed, eyes searching Carlos’ frame for any sign of injury. “Are you okay? You’re supposed to be at lunch with your mom. Is she—“

“We’re both fine,” Carlos assures him.

“Okay.” T.K. looks at him curiously. “Then why do you look like that? Did something happen on a call?”

“No I—“ The moment is here, but the words stick in his throat. He doesn’t know how to say this.

“Hey.” T.K. moves into his space looking really worried now. He moves his hand soothingly up and down Carlos’ arm. “Take a breath.”

Carlos inhales, shaky and sick feeling, then takes T.K.’s hand, leading him over to one of the beds. It’s probably better if they’re both sitting down for this. 

T.K. sinks down onto the mattress while Carlos settles onto the divider.“I have to talk to you about something,” he manages. “And I need you to just listen and know that I am so sorry.”

“Okay.” The look in T.K.’s eyes has grown wary. “Carlos, you're scaring me.”

He can’t put it off anymore, so he takes another breath and forces the words out. “T.K. I’m already married.”

He watches as the statement sinks in, sees the surprise and confusion play through T.K.’s eyes. He blinks a few times. “What?”

“I’m already married. To a woman.”

T.K. draws back, face darkening as he processes the news. He stands up and walks a few steps toward the bathroom before turning around to face Carlos, hands on his hips. “I don’t understand.”

“It was long before I ever met you,” Carlos says quietly, as T.K. starts to pace back and forth. “I got married to someone, a woman, and never filed for divorce. And we can’t get married until I do. I should have told you a long time ago and I am really, truly sorry that I didn’t.”

He expects T.K. to walk out, even though they’ve worked on the way they fight over the last few years; he wouldn’t blame his fiancé if he threw all their progress out the window and went storming down the stairs to complain to everyone within earshot how much of a hypocrite and an asshole Carlos is as he haltingly tells T.K. the details of why he’s messing up their marriage before it even starts.

But T.K. stays, thank god he stays, and they talk, and there is forgiveness and love on his face and then brilliant joy when Carlos tells him about the venue. And by the time Carlos is walking back out to his cruiser they still have their relationship and a deposit down on the venue.

He should feel free, but he doesn’t, because saying it out loud has made him realize that what he’s done is even worse than he’d thought in his head. How hard would it have been for him to get in touch with either of the Blake sisters over the last few years? Why couldn’t he have picked up a damn phone and texted or called?

And then there’s T.K. Their discussion had ended well, and T.K. had seemed okay, but what if it’s made him start to rethink things? They’ve worked so hard on their communication since the loft purchase, but what if T.K. feels like Carlos has broken all of that down again? What if he’s decided he can’t trust him anymore? Honestly, Carlos wouldn’t blame him. He’s not sure he can even trust himself right now.

The thoughts spin over and over in his mind, twisting and turning, and never resolving themselves. It’s exhausting and by the time his shift is over he feels completely wrung out. Raw. Like if someone even looks at him the wrong way right now he might break.

T.K. is cooking breakfast when Carlos trudges through their front door. “Oh,” he says in surprise. “Hi.”

“Hi,” T.K. responds amiably as he drops something into a skillet.

Carlos searches his face for any storminess. “I um, I thought you might be sleeping already,” he says.

Sometimes they wait up for each other after an overnight shift, but even then it typically results in whoever gets home first being passed out on the couch by the time the other person walks through the door.

“And I thought you might be hungry,” T.K. says, stirring what looks like a pan full of eggs.

Carlos sets down his bag and slips off his shoes, putting them away neatly before slowly walking over to the counter and dropping down onto a stool. He massages his forehead in an attempt to remedy the throbbing headache that has bloomed behind his eyes.

Without him even asking, T.K. opens a cabinet and takes out a bottle of Tylenol, then fills a glass with water and slides both across the counter to him.

“Thanks,” Carlos says gratefully, swallowing two pills and then fiddling with the now half full glass in his hands. 

“Do you want a shower before we eat?”

He shakes his head. “No, I might workout later.”

“Okay. How was the rest of your shift after the carnival?” T.K. asks instead.

“Fine,” Carlos tells him automatically. “Yours?”

T.K. shrugs. “Nothing else out of the ordinary, thank god.”

He dishes up eggs and a side salad and Carlos follows him to the table. 

T.K. takes a couple bites while Carlos sort of swirls the eggs around his plate. He doesn’t feel like he can eat right now. “Are you not hungry?” T.K. asks when he notices.

Carlos shakes his head. 

T.K. sets down his fork. “Do you want to talk about it now? So you can feel better and then eat?”

Leave it to T.K. not to miss a trick. Although honestly he’d rather not talk about it ever again if he can help it. “Was breakfast just a ruse to soften the blow when you tell me you’re mad and we should cancel the wedding?” Carlos says, having to clear his throat that’s thickening with tears. He wouldn’t blame T.K. in the slightest.

“What? No,” T.K. says, looking horrified. “Breakfast was because I know you, and I know you spent the rest of your shift castigating yourself about all of this. I thought it might be good for you to come home and relax.”

“Oh,” Carlos says, feeling lost in that.

“Carlos, I want to marry you. Okay? Nothing about today changes that,” T.K. tells him, reaching across the table to hold his hand. “But I am definitely…having some feelings about all of this and clearly you are too. I think we need to talk it out.”

“So you are mad,” Carlos says quietly.

“Maybe a little?” T.K. admits. “But I think I’m more…hurt I guess. Surprised. Disappointed that you waited so long to share something so huge with me.”

“I’m sorry.” The words are hardly more than a whisper, he can’t say any more because of the awful feelings that are rushing through his blood right now.

“I know you are. You apologized like four times before you even told me about Iris.” 

Carlos wants to sink through the floor, he wants to turn back the clock to that day all those years ago when he made such a dumb choice. “Everything you’ve told me, everything we’ve promised to each other and I just…I fucked it all up.”

“Well, you’re about to marry the king of fucking it up, so I can relate,” T.K. says, quirking half a smile as his thumb brushes back and forth over Carlos’ knuckles. “It was a long time ago, Carlos. We all do stupid things when we’re young. I did way stupider things than jump into marriage with my best friend.” 

“I married her when I was young and stupid,” Carlos says. “I lied to you when I was old enough to know better. What’s my excuse for that?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

He can’t. He doesn’t know how. 

T.K. gets up and moves to the chair next to Carlos’, his hand finding Carlos’ thigh. “Hey,” he says, trying to catch Carlos’ gaze. “Tell me what’s going on in your head.”

Carlos hesitates, trying to pin one down one of the anxious feelings swirling around in his gut and attach it to a rational thought. “I don’t think I knew how to tell you. I’m embarrassed and ashamed that I ever tried to be that person. I wish he didn’t exist. And the longer I put it off, the easier it was to pretend it didn’t matter. That it wasn’t even real.”

T.K. nods. “I can understand that.”

“I mean, when we first started dating you were ready to run at the drop of a hat. If I had told you then, do you really think you would have stuck around?”

“That’s a fair point.”

“And then we moved in together and things were just so…good. I didn’t want to mess that up, and for all I knew you didn’t even want to get married and it would never matter. And then the fire and I bought the loft and made you feel so awful and I…” he feels terrible bringing that up again, but he can’t seem to stop the flow of words tumbling out of him. “I didn’t know how you’d react. And then your mom died and then your dad got hurt and then we were engaged and you were just so happy, and this is all one giant excuse after another, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I should have just told you.”

T.K. moves again, sliding into Carlos’ lap, one hand cupping the back of his neck, the other coming up to brush a tear from his face. “Breathe,” T.K. says quietly. “You’re safe. You’re here with me.”

Carlos sucks in a shuddering breath, focusing on the comforting feel of T.K.’s body against him, the soothing sound of his voice. “Better?” T.K. asks after minute.

“Come here.” T.K. takes his hand and walks him to the couch so that they’re more comfortable, legs pressed together, hands entwined. He looks at Carlos for a long moment, eyes searching him, like he’s trying to peek inside of Carlos’ head. “Tell me everything,” he says softly. “The whole story.”

When Carlos hesitates T.K. reaches up and runs a thumb across his cheekbone. “You can trust me with this. I promise.”

And then he waits, giving Carlos time, not pushing, not demanding, just letting him gather his own thoughts and feelings. 

“Iris and Michelle lived down the street from us, so we’d been friends basically our whole lives,” Carlos says softly, not meeting T.K.’s eyes. “Birthday parties, church stuff, the Blakes were always around. Iris was the first person I told about maybe being gay and she just said ‘cool’ and then pulled out a magazine and made me point out all the guys I thought were hot.”

T.K. smiles at that and it encourages Carlos to keep going. 

“I was nineteen,” he says. “And I was…so lost T.K. You have no idea. You have to understand, I didn’t know a single gay person. Not one. Austin is pretty progressive but it’s still Texas. Figuring out I was gay was terrifying, and I had no one to talk to about it, no example to follow, or anyone to ask questions.

“I had told my parents about being gay, but not the rest of my family. And I was constantly being bombarded by them and everyone else in our community to date, to find a woman, to talk about my future, my plans.”

He feels tension creep down the back of his neck and into his shoulders as the memories come back full force. He can hear and see them so clearly it’s like he’s living them all over again.

“So Carlitos, are you seeing anyone?”

“What about that nice girl Iris you’re always hanging out with?”

“A real man gets what he wants.You just have to put yourself out there and not take no for an answer.”

“I have a friend who has a niece, you two would be so cute together!”

“You know your cousin Eduardo was engaged by the time he was your age.”

“Now why can’t a nice boy like you find a sweet girl?”

“I’m sure all the girls at school were just falling all over themselves to get at you.”

“That sounds really tough,” T.K. says. 

Carlos nods. “The pressure was unbelievable. I would sit in church between them every weekend, watching them all nod and agree with everything the priest said and I felt so small. Wrong. Like I was hiding something dirty and awful and I just couldn’t…I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Iris and I were drunk one night,” he admits, another twinge of shame squeezing at his gut. “I was bitching to her about it. And she grabbed my hand and she said, ‘maybe you and I should get married.’ She’s always been kind of impulsive, but I thought she was kidding. She wasn’t. We went down to the courthouse the next morning.

“I thought my mom was going to kill me when I told her. And then I thought Michelle was going to kill the both of us, but Iris somehow smoothed it all over. We moved in together, got a two bedroom place, and,” Carlos shrugs, “that was it.”

“So what happened after that?” T.K. asks. “How did you get from being married roommates to where you are now?

“It was good at first but then Iris got a boyfriend, started staying over at his place more. She ended up moving out and then a year later things started to go off the rails for her. She wouldn’t come over, wouldn’t answer my calls, and I just kind of…let her go. If I’d known she—“ Carlos shakes his head. “I should have tried harder.”

“You had no way of knowing she was sick,” T.K. says gently. “Friends drift apart. It happens.”

“When she disappeared and the months went by, I was sure she was dead T.K. I know the statistics. The odds said that if ever did find anything, it would be a body. I had reconciled myself to that and then when Michelle found her, I just…I don’t know. It was like I had already closed the door on that part of my life and I didn’t know how to deal with it being open again. The longer I put off trying to figure it out, the easier it was to pretend it didn’t matter. That it wasn’t even real.” 

He takes a shaky breath and looks up, meeting T.K.’s eyes, searching them for love and safety. “T.K., you have to understand,” he says, clinging desperately to his fiancé’s hands, as if holding him there will keep their relationship from falling apart. “I didn’t think I would ever be in love. I didn’t…T.K. I didn’t think anyone would ever want me. It seemed so impossible and I was scared of losing the love I did have from my family, my friends. I never imagined…I didn’t know love could be like this. I didn’t know it was something I was allowed to want. I didn’t know I could have you.”

He sniffs, a tear slipping down his cheek and T.K. moves immediately, pulling Carlos into a hug. “You have me,” T.K. whispers to him. “I promise you have me. You’re not alone anymore.”

He lets himself be held for a minute, soaking in the warmth and security, even if he doesn’t deserve them. “I don’t even know who I am right now. I’m such a coward,” he says wetly when he pulls back.

“You’re not a coward,” T.K. tells him firmly, running a hand through his curls. “You were protecting your heart. Sometimes that makes us do crazy things. Like storm out of romantic dinners or break up for four months because of a spontaneous home purchase. And you do not need to apologize again for that either,” he says quickly when Carlos opens his mouth to do just that. “That one’s in the past. And soon this one will be too.”

His eyes turn serious. “Baby, sometimes you try so hard to keep everyone happy that you end up coming around the other side and hurting people instead, yourself included. We have to find a way for you to stop doing that.”

“I know,” Carlos says, the truth of those words hitting him in the center of his chest. “I will.”

“We will,” T.K. corrects. “It’s you and me Carlos Reyes. We’re in this together now. Well, you, me…and your wife.”

Carlos looks up to find him smirking, pleased at his joke and the pressure inside him lifts a little. “Not funny.”

“A little funny,” T.K. says, holding up his thumb and forefinger an inch apart before he leans in and kisses Carlos. “Are there pictures from this wedding? Does your mom have an album? Can I see it?”

“I told you, my mom wasn’t there. It wasn’t a real wedding T.K. I wore a button up that was too big and an old pair of my dad’s dress shoes.”

T.K. runs his fingers through Carlos’ curls. “Not this time,” he says. “This time it’s going to be real.”

Carlos finally touches him back, resting his hand on T.K.’s bicep. “Please tell me you understand that you didn’t do anything wrong in this. That I fully recognize that I screwed up and I take responsibility for all of it.”

“Oh I’m aware,” T.K. says with a laugh. “This one’s all on you and your people pleasing tendencies. Honestly, this whole thing is so Carlos Reyes I’m shocked I didn’t see it coming.”

He mindlessly toys with Carlos’ earlobe. “I forgive you Carlos. For all of it.”

Carlos heaves out a breath, finally feeling relief after so many hours of stress. “Thank you. I—just thank you.”

T.K. presses one more kiss to his lips, then pats him on the cheek. “Come on. The eggs are cold. I’ll make you new ones and you can watch and complain about how egg prices have skyrocketed.”

He follows T.K. into the kitchen and watches him work, just as sweet and wonderful as always. He’d once told T.K. that he wanted all of his pieces, and that was true. He does. He just hadn’t thought that T.K. would want all of his own messy pieces in return. It turned out he was wrong. If there was anyone he could trust with the parts of himself he’d tried to hide away, it was Tyler Kennedy Strand. 

[niiwa-angel]

I literally JUST got over Covid. I had four shots of the vaccine but two of my classmates in college had it and because it was finals, they couldn't miss class. So I got it.

I have never been that sick before. I am a healthy, 21 year old woman with no underlying health conditions. I eat well, I am at a healthy weight, exercise, and I don't use drugs. I am pretty much the healthiest I can possibly be and it still knocked me on my ass. I was in so much pain, my brain was so foggy I was losing time and couldn't remember doing things. I basically didn't eat more than jello, cough syrup, and plain white rice because I couldn't focus enough to cook. There was no way I could position my body where I didn't hurt, if I laid on my back my back hurt, if I laid on my side my hips and side of my ribs hurt. Sitting upright hurt because I felt like I could feel the vertebra in my spine compressing and rubbing together. I had to take the weighted blanket off my bed because having it on me hurt.

Going to the bathroom took 10 minutes, not because I was constipated, but because I had to gather the strength to throw the blankets off me and sit up, then catch my breath, then stand and blink away the spots, hobble to the bathroom, use the toilet, stand and blink away the spots, wash my hands, and then hobble back to bed. I was so cold and so hot I couldn't sleep most nights, I was either drowning in my own sweat with the blankets on or shivering so badly my teeth chattered with them off.

On the third night, I got nausea and vomiting. I puked this gross, slimy yellow shit that was mostly jello and cough syrup, and then I had the worst chest pain of my life. I thought I was dying. It felt like the jaws of life were trying to break through my sternum. It lasted an hour and if it hadn't stopped I would have called 911 because I honestly thought I was about to die. My dad drove to my apartment and took me to the hospital the next day because he and my grandma were worried.

Thankfully, it wasn't too serious but there was inflammation in my chest and that's why it had hurt so badly. I got a prescription and my dad took me home to his house Incase the pain came back. Even with the prescription medication, I only got free of all symptoms a full week later. I lost about 6 pounds and I still feel exhausted.

And again, I'm vaccinated. I'm young and healthy and I didn't even think I was at risk. The doctor I saw at the hospital had a colleague get it back before the vaccine and wound up on a ventilator. If I hadn't been vaccinated, it would have been so much worse. For elderly people, for the pregnant or breastfeeding women, for the young, or for the immunocompromised, this is so much worse. It's not a fucking joke and people need to stop treating it like it is

It is fuckin insane the sheer disregard everyone has for covid and how utterly bizarre it feels to be actively losing credibility in people's eyes just because I take it seriously. Everyone thinks I'm being "silly" but I literally was in the middle of getting a degree in microbiology when this shit started, I was literally taking immunology and virology courses when the pandemic hit, it's not like I have a poor understanding of the topic. I've been watching the death rate and keeping up with the new variants and vaccines and symptoms and I can bring up all the sources I want but it feels useless, nobody wants to hear it, nobody gives a shit.

[climaxbattles]

Dont read this i need a journal but it feels scary to write to no one . im /srs this is for my therapist yolanda only !!

If you're reading this youre a nosey bitch

he's drawn my characters 2 times in 2 weeks with Full backgrounds and everything and he talks to me so much and i cant even go outside or give him a straight answer about my feelings im going to be SICKKKK i need to be LOCKED UP!! he fucking Yearns for me but im just shutting down and im being a prick and it cant go on like this. he has his flaws but he has made Infinitely more progress than me in like 7 months than i have in 2 years. and literally the reasons im hesitant r so shallow and/or self-centered ( money / im scared i would feel Inferior if i am indeed stuck being crazy and need to go on disability )

i love this man but i dont think im good enough for him and he lives 4 hours away by car. which isnt impossible but i cant even go on an outdoor walk or be left home alone or i get so nervous i have to consider dialing 911. but its been getting better & i have hope again. i wasnt even able to Nap for a year because i was so nervous and ive finally been able to sleep more

im going to be SICK!!!!!!! im literally worm jerry. ive been living off people thinking im pathetic and i havent been doing enough to try to improve my situation. im trying fix it now bc partially it Was/Is smth medically wrong with me (hormones making me so autistic/asthmatic i couldnt breathe) but i dont know if i'll ever forgive myself. but He already forgives me. oh my god. and the people i dragged into it. I'm a Raging cunt

i know i should want to get better for Myself but idk. that has never been Enough and if this gem of a guy isnt Enough of a reason maybe i should just k!ll myself (JOKE!! EXAGGERATION) because Oh my god. what am i doinggg

im going to try new meds i think. idk i cant tell if fixing my hormones was enough. it might be too early to tell but ive been on birth control for a month and a half and i cut my testosterone dose by 2/3rds and i havent been Needing to take any medications to handle my anxiety but sometimes i give in. Agh.

i want to see him so bad :( LDRs suck i just need him Physically

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

the way ive waited for this day for WEEKS. arizona and 911 100. and now i am sick ur joking

[jakeluppin]

5 writing pens for anything 911 related, please

(If you don’t have any 911 fics anything is fine :) )

🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️🖊️

There’s no doubt Maddie is Sick and Tired of hearing Buck talk about Eddie, but he can’t stop himself from relaying his latest Eddie and Christopher Diaz encounter with her the second he arrives for dinner. His jacket isn’t even off before the words, “Maddie, I am absolutely in love,” leave his lips.

Maddie shakes her head slightly, not even looking up from the stove. Not that Buck cares or really even notices, his mind is still stuck a few hours in the past when he managed to make Eddie laugh at a stupid joke. And then of course there was the very slight not exactly hand holding that happened when Buck tried to grab the stack of books but accidentally grabbed Eddie’s hand instead.

Send me a 🖋️ and I will add one sentence to my wip and reply with it

[gins-potter]

First Taylor has a job and isn’t hanging around Buck’s apartment waiting for him to get off shift so she’s a bad girlfriend. Now she is at Buck’s apartment when he gets home and giving him space to debrief about his day but it’s because she’s using Buck for a story (never mind the canonical evidence we have that she’s grown past that behaviour)?

How about you just admit you’re misogynistic fucks and go?

[wheelsupin-five]

Accidentally By Mistake

Summary: 

How do you accidentally kiss the person you’ve been thinking about for years and not even realise it?

“It was an accident,” Buck says, his words muffled by his hands.

“You kissed him accidentally?” Lucy says. “I can’t believe I missed it.”

Relationships: Buck/Eddie

A/N: Hi! this is my first 911 fic :) This one goes out to Saga, and all my friends who clapped and cheered for me when I said I’d written this <3

Wc: 1401                       Read it on Ao3

Buck’s sitting on the couch, handing Chimney’s ass to him in Halo when he sees Eddie quickly approaching him from the corner of his eye. He ducks his character undercover, as Chim makes a break for one of the corridors.

“What’s up?” Buck asks when he can feel Eddie’s presence behind him. He may not have laid an eye on him yet, but tension is radiating off him.

“Chris is sick, I have to go pick him up.”

“Is he okay?” Buck tips his head back to look up at him. A small smile breaks through Eddie’s tight expression when their eyes meet. He pauses the game, earning a small huff from Chim.

“Yeah, he’ll be okay. Carla is fully booked today so I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back to finish the shift.” Eddie shifts like he’s contemplating leaving at that.

“Hey,” Buck reaches up and grabs a handful of Eddie’s LAFD button down to loosely hold him in place, “relax your jaw, drop your shoulders. Chris will be fine. And I’m sure Ravi won’t mind picking up the slack for half a shift.” He says with a half-smile. “I’ll drop by tonight. Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks, Buck.”

Eddie drops his hand to Buck’s shoulder before leaning down, Buck’s hand going to the side of Eddie’s face, fingers curling around the back of his head as he half successfully presses a kiss to Buck’s lips.

“See you later,” Eddie mumbles against him. Buck hums in agreement. “See ya guys,” Eddie calls with a wave before he disappears down the stairs.

It’s dead silent and Buck can feel all eyes on him.

Beside him, Chimney is looking at him slack-jawed and Hen and Ravi’s eyes are glued to him from the table.

“What?” Buck asks, looking between them like there was some joke he wasn’t in on or he’d just done something terribly wrong.

Hen hesitates. “Is that how you decided to tell us?”

Buck blinks.

No one clarifies, and the air feels tight enough to shatter.

Oh.

Eddie kissed him.

Oh.

He kissed Eddie.  

“Did we miss something here?” Bobby walks from his office with Lucy close behind him, slowing as he approaches them, obviously feeling the tension.

“No,” Buck chokes out, his heart catching in his throat.

“Nope,” Hen says, dragging her eyes from Buck. Chim and Ravi hesitantly echo her.

Bobby looks between them all. He doesn’t seem convinced. “Okay… I’m going to go back and double-check my paperwork. You guys can discuss whatever didn’t happen here.” He turns on his heel and heads back into his office and closes the door.

Buck wonders if he just resumed the game he could pretend like nothing ever happened.

“So… what did I miss?” Lucy breaks the silence.

A beat of silence.

“They kissed,” Ravi pipes up.

“Buck and Eddie kissed,” Chimney says at the same time.  

“I think Buck’s just realised he kissed Eddie,” Hen says over them.

Buck groans, burying his face in his hands, heat creeping onto his cheeks. He’d really thought about kissing Eddie goodbye so many times that it just felt… right. Normal, like they’ve done it a hundred times before. He doesn’t even know how it happened. How do you accidentally kiss the person you’ve been thinking about for years and not even realise it?

“It was an accident,” he says, his words muffled by his hands.

“You kissed him accidentally ?” Lucy says. “I can’t believe I missed it.”

“It didn’t look accidental.” Chimney nudges him with his controller. “Or like it was the first time they’ve kissed.”

God, has he thought about kissing him that much.

“What am I even supposed to do? Do I text him? Do I still go see him tonight?”

Hen opens her mouth but Chimney interrupts.

“What you’re supposed to do is resume the game so I can kick your ass.”

His controller lands in his lap.

Buck lets out a breath and picks up the controller. “Just don’t tell, Bobby, okay? I don’t need to be filling out HR forms when I don’t even know what it means okay.” He suspects Bobby already has some idea of what happened and he can only hope he will wait for Buck to go to him.

His hands shake slightly when he goes to unpause the game. “And don't tell, Maddie, before I do.”

***           ***           ***

It’s seven hours later when Buck is standing outside the Diaz house, empty-handed because Eddie never texted him back and he didn’t trust himself not to have a panic attack if he went to his place first.

He slips the key into the lock and forces himself to walk in like nothing had changed. He closes the door softly behind him. The lounge is empty save for half a glass of water and what looked like Madagascar paused on the TV. He follows through to the kitchen where he finds Eddie zoned out,  wiping down what looks like the same bit of the bench he had been for a while.

“Hey,” Buck says softly. “Chris, in bed?”

Eddie’s head snaps up and Buck’s heart is back in his throat, and it’s suddenly very real that he might not be welcome here anymore.

“Yeah, it seems just to be a stomach bug. He’s sleeping it off now.” Eddie looks down.

There is not more than four feet between them, but he feels unreachable.

“Eddie,” Buck takes an unsteady breath, “about earlier…”

“I know, it was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Buck had to remember how to breathe.

“A… mistake?” he asks, his voice barely audible.

He’d had his heart broken before, but whatever part of him believed they could make it work is now crumbling under the weight of his words. It was an accident, sure, but until this moment, he would have never called it a mistake. He can see now that was his mistake.

He should have known better.

“Please, Buck, can we just forget it ever happened? I can’t lose you.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Buck watches Eddie closely. “Forget, I mean.”

Eddie’s face does several complicated things in rapid succession and Buck doesn’t know what a single one of them means. Eddie’s shoulders drop and Buck hesitantly takes a step forwards.

“I don’t want to forget because I’ve been thinking about that moment for years.” It’s embarrassing to admit, but he needs Eddie to understand that maybe if he’s reading this right, this isn’t one-sided.

“You have?” Eddie’s eyes search Buck’s face and god, he hopes he finds what he’s looking for. They’re drifting closer,  less than a foot from each other.

Buck needs to touch him.

It’s now or never.

“Can I kiss you?”

Eddie’s hand cups Buck’s face, and he can’t help but lean into it.

“On purpose this time.”

Their lips meet and it’s soft and warm and Eddie’s malleable under his hands. They part for a breath before crashing together again, walking Eddie back against the counter, fingers curling into his hair pulling them impossibly closer. They’re both desperate and needy and Buck wants nothing more than to slip his hands under Eddie’s shirt and feel the warmth of his body but he can’t.

They both weakly pull back.

“Not here,” Eddie pants, eyes drifting to the hallway where Christopher’s room is.

“I know.” Buck takes a small step back, willing other parts of him to also understand now was not the time or place. His eyes trail down Eddie’s body to the bulge pressing against his fly.

“Shut up,” Eddie says, “you can’t talk.”

Buck raises his hands in mock surrender.  “Do you wanna finish watching Madagascar?”

Eddie smiles softly and it suddenly all makes sense. “Yeah, okay.”

***

They’re not far into the movie with Eddie laying on him like two fully grown men can comfortably fit on the couch like this when Buck can’t help but ask.

“When did you realise?”

“Hm?”

“That we kissed.”

“Oh.” Eddie huffs a laugh. “I was about halfway to Chris’s school and I almost crashed the car.”

Yeah, Buck thinks he would have to.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.” Buck smooths Eddie’s hair back off his forehead.

“So am I.”

Buck presses a kiss to Eddie’s lips. It’s an awkward angle that makes his neck hurt, but the kiss is gentle and welcoming

They’re gonna be okay.