#i am safe nowhere
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i am being divinely punished for not learning to drive
#nonsense tag#ive had my learners for like three years#this is about the fact i feel like im being mindfreaked by f1#logically i know its frequency bias but i swear i cant escape it#what do u MEAN australian olympic gold medalist skateboarder keegan palmer is besties with lando norris#its like.. i join tennisblr (there is significant crossover with f1blr). i follow tennis players on instagram (oscar piastri is in all their#comments. holger goes to f1. aryna goes to f1.. many many players go to f1)#im trying to enjoy the tennis (f1 drivers r there. monte carlo. wimbledon. etc)#my sister also came back from a year overseas last october and she is super in to f1 (sibling bonding via me relaying what i see on my dash)#I CAMT EVEN GO TO THE TRAIN STATJON I GOT JUMPSCARWD BY A HEINEKEN AD#oh and my sister went to the dan murphys that was made to be dan ricciardos#i am safe nowhere#i make a post about this every month it feels like guys ur getting a live feed of my breakdown#ive never watched a vroom vroom i can barely keep up with hit ball over net#i didnt even know any driver names last year. now i could definitely name at least 10#i gotta say the impression i get of f1blr from my mutuals is. silly fun post with homoerotic undertones or. the most devastating web weave#known to man#guys im such a yapper im literally in class omg ill shut up now
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can't believe im saying this but long time no megumi
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#jjk art#am i getting my speed back or am i just procrastinating what im Actually supposed to me doing the answer may surprise u#regardless i realized i havent drawn megu properly since waaaaay pre-halloween and i was feeling the withdrawals#i wanted to get a handle on this newish render style with yuuji first bc i think the lighter hair forces me to know what im doing#vs with black u can hide things a lot better so its easy to play it safe and revert 2 usual habits#so im rly happy i did yuuji first bc these bruise-y colours on megumi's hair look SO good i cld cry#im rly enjoying this thing where i put whatever colour down wherever without worrying abt being too precious with it#the bright neon salmons the dusty purples the olive greens these r all colours i would not normally turn to#esp fr skin#but its so FUN it makes the lighting so fun and saturated and interesting to look at#overall this ws nowhere near as meticulous or 'clean' as the yuuji draws but i didnt needit to b so its ok#this ws just an afternoon#n i just needed to draw megumi :'> i abandoned my boy..........#yall im having fun drawing again pro tip if u feel stuck Do New Things#yet another lesson you think i wld have Retained after 21 years of drawing
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Why does my mom have tiktok now. Iām getting scared
#she also has a Twitter and is in the same general circle as me#Iām under a different name and I doubt sheāll ever stumble across me but oh my god#I am safe nowhere#OH YEAH THE VIDEO SHE SENT ME WAS TWO YEARS OLD TOO#SHES GOING DEEP
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Prompt 111
Yāall know H2O? Where some people get cursed to turn into merfolk whenever they get water on them? That, but replace water with ectoplasm and merfolk with naga.Ā
No, Bruce has no idea how they managed to get cursed or how he ended up with an armful of baby snake-person creature thing. At least this one isnāt black-hair and blue-eyes so his kids canāt complain at him. And itās not his fault they all fell into this, this was supposed to be a vacation while Lucious, Alfred, and Gordon kept an eye on things back in Gotham.Ā
On the bright side, his children want to snuggle up for once, which he supposes is nice. And Damian seems pleased about it judging by his rambles about snakes. So thereās that.Ā
#batman au#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#naga au#batman#cryptid batfam#This is what happens the One time they go on vacation#āDamian do not drip lazarus water on yourself to get free venomā#āNo Jason you can't turn into a giant snake for 'intimidation purposes' do notā#āDuke stop encouraging your brothersā#āSomebody grab the baby *please*ā#Danny has no idea what's goin on either#He's a baby#a lil baby halfa who has found himself in this stranger's arms but they're warm and there's other kids who feel content-safe sooo#āMaster Bruce that had better not be another child without any prior warning-ā#āAlfred I didn't get prior warning either they literally appeared out of nowhereā#I might draw this actually#Do whatever types of snakes you want#but i am picturing#Bruce- Rinkhals#Barbara- Purple-Glossed Snake#Dick- Bluestripe Garter#Cass- Banded Krait#Jason- Blood Python#Steph- Taipan#Tim- Coral Snake#Duke- Eyelash Viper#Damian- Boomslang#Helena- Black Mamba
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay š "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil āisnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?ā āno actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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Smn here said: fluffed up for winter Kuya! And imagine, Kuya had enough of feeling a tiny bit cold, and he just turns into this fluffball round type of fox that we sometimes see on arts! Completely soft, round and unapologetic about his foxian beauty! (Almost biting off Quincy's hands when he tries to touch the Flooooof just to be a dick)
((Scaring Eiden silly by coming alive from a ridiculous fur sofa in Aster's living room (Eiden thought he was sofa, it's not Kuya's fault he is not very smart)))
(((Inspiring Karu/Garu to do the same, and now everyone is covered in fur and spit, and Eiden's bed has never been this warm)))
((((Yakumo is knitting everyone dog fur sweaters, hats, socks and scarves))))
oh god pompous winter kyorb is gonna activate every histamine in my body he's a cushion with teeth he could be lying ANYWHERE in the mansion i hope aster doesn't have a lot of purple furniture because if he does ..this is gonna be the most stressful holiday party of everyone's unbitten butts
#feesh answer#CAN'T SIT ANYWHERE. CAN'T REST. NOWHERE IS SAFE#vindictive ancient purple sphere (that bites) is not on my top list of house guests#all the cold people are not gonna complain because there's a blanket of fur insulating the entire mansion#is garu's wolf fur the colour of his hair.... or is it more navy.....#hmmm.....#ok everyone is getting purple/blue/brown knit accessories as their holiday party favours#depending on how well they take care of their fur...#what if the accessories are itchy...#isn't fox hair... not actually that soft? and wolf fur is quite . tough?#but what if kuya's fur is surprisingly soft because he is OBSESSSED with taking care of his looks#bathroom filled with fur conditioners and nutrient washes and softening serums.....#what if there's a sweater that's half kuya's fur half garu's fur#it's split down the middle#and you're itchy on the garu side because the last time that boy took a bath was. no one remembers#eiden tried ok!!! he tried!!!! but sometimes karu takes over and the challenge increases tenfold#slippery pup hates baths. parkours out of the tub and disappears into the muddy woods for 6 days#where am i#right.#i'm gonna find that bald sheep from greenwood miracle and steal his wool
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can someone please write religious guilt curtis bros pleekā¦..
#or am i gonna have to do it myself bcccc#outsiders musical#the outsiders#outsiders broadway#especially darry#he exudes religious guilt/trauma#darry curtis#ponyboy curtis#curtis brothers#sodapop curtis#no actually bc something about darry hating church as a kid and then hating god bc god took his parents away#and he has absolutely nowhere else to turn when ponyboy runs away so he prays for the first time in a decade#prays to god and to mama that they bring his brother home safe.#like.#tell me that wouldnāt eattttt
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hi everybody i'm having some thoughts right now and i need to share them. mentions of walburga black's a+ parenting in this fic idea so do be aware of that
what if regulus's parents send him to "conversion camp" after he comes out as trans but the conversion camp actually turns out to be a safe house for queer kids run by effie and monty that's masking as a conversion camp so homophobic parents send their kids there.
so reg arrives dressed up in a nice dress and with walburga aggressively using she/her pronouns and his deadname and the second she leaves effie is like "well that sucked, why don't we get you some more comfortable clothes and you can tell me your actual name?" and regulus is like oh. oh this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and my parents are idiots
i'm envisioning that the place is a farm and so the only rules for kids at the safe house are 1. be nice to each other and 2. find something to spend your time on every day that's not just a device (it doesn't have to be farm related) (this is a muggle au if you couldn't tell)
and ofc because it's effie and monty's place james is there and he likes helping out on the farm. reg takes one look at him and is like yeah ik i was gay but this man confirms it
ā
that's all i have rn as far as plot and story (i mean james and reg fall in love obviously but other than that idk) so here's intros to the cast of characters and their roles in the story !! (this is my favorite part):
james potter (18) - he/him pansexual (+ maybe ace) - son of effie and monty - helps out on the farm
regulus black (17) - he/him gay & transmasc - sent there after coming out as trans (or just after walburga finds out bc let's be real he probably knew not to tell her) - currently trying to figure out his hobby
sirius black (18) - he/him gay - knew james in school, came here after fight w/ parents when he was 16 - makes art
remus lupin (19) - he/they bisexual & transmasc - father disowned him and his mother, with the best of intentions, sent him to the farm when he was 16 in hopes that his father would reconsider cutting him off - works in the garden/greenhouses, helps with the bees
barty crouch jr (17) - he/him bisexual demiromantic + hypersexual - sent there at 15 by his father after some scandal with another politician's son - makes pottery, some of which he sells at the farmer's market every saturday
emmeline vance (19) - she/her queer - sent at 17 by her parents after they caught her with a girl - works in the orchard & cooks
marlene mckinnon (18) - she/her lesbian - lives down the road and comes by to help james
lily evans (18) - she/her lesbian - sent at 15 by her sister after her parents died and petunia got custody of her - makes her own clothes and sells them at the market
mary macdonald (18) - she/her bisexual - adopted by the potters at 13 after her parents died in a car accident - looks after the goats and llamas & helps with the horses
pandora rosier (18) - she/her pansexual transfem - sent at 17 after her parents found out she was trans - works w the horses
evan rosier (18) - he/they biromantic asexual & bigender - sent at 17 after their parents caught them wearing "girl clothes" - writes + draws, helps rem with the bees
dorcas meadowes (17) - she/her lesbian - sent at 17 (a few months before reg) after her parents caught her watching... adult content of two women - makes & sells bouquets, effie helps her <3
peter pettigrew (18) - he/him aromantic (NOT ace) - marlene's next door neighbor, has had sex with barty multiple times and these two fuck in the WEIRDEST spots (poor james keeps catching them :')) - helps emmeline in the orchard
severus snape (17) - he/him bisexual transmasc - sent by his father at 14 after starting to present as a boy - cooks, helps lily with her clothes making sometimes, writes sad boy poetry (/half joking)
narcissa, alice, and xeno will also be in the story i'm just not sure exactly where they fit in... xeno's another neighbor and narcissa's a former safehouse resident who's now living w alice but that's all i know rn
ā
now as for SHIPS...
so i know there will be jegulus of course, and since sirius is totally going to pine for gardener/beekeeper remus wolfstar too. i want rosekiller, but because of barty and peter's dynamic, i'm thinking romantic rosekiller w/ sexual party and queerplatonic... peter x evan (idk their ship name š)
as for the GIRLS... omg i have so many thoughts guys AAAAA
first of all i cant decide between pandalily and dorlily for lily and i don't want a triad (i don't ship panda x dorcas) and i don't want both so that's... rough
and then there's also marylene.... BUT DORLENE-
i wanna put sev with someone (ik he's not a girl but i'm having thoughts for him rn)... maybe he smooches w emmeline?? but i feel like she'd make fun of him š (in a joking way but yk)
or maybe emmeline could go with mary panda with lily dorcas with marlene... and... sev with xeno?? guys am i a genius
so yeah other than jegulus, wolfstar, and partyvan idk what to do. live laugh love multishipping am i right
#ok so i feel like i got nowhere with this post but at the same time do you see the vision#ik i said pottery for barty but i'm thinking about plant dad barty again...#so many interesting dynamics could happen w this idea tho!!#even though i'll probably never write them i am excited to think about them a lot#ANYWAY#blab blab blab ok tas shut up now#hp fandom#harry potter fandom#hp#marauders era#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#partyvan#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#peter pettigrew#wolfstar#sirius black#remus lupin#tagging the confirmed ships btw#rosekiller#(it gets its own tag since it's romantic)#euphemia potter#fleamont potter#i'll call this the...#muggle safe house au#!!
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Way back when I first started talking about my suicidal ideation with family, they did not know how to react. It was... bad. Mom's main response was "Don't talk like that!" which just shut me down and made me feel ashamed and did NOT help me be less suicidal
Today, in a moment of frustration over the whole ongoing disability benefits application fiasco I said something like "I'm gonna jump in front of a truck!"
And Mom said, "No, don't do that!"
And Duck said "If you do it on purpose, there's no insurance payout!" Which was partially a joke, because that's how he is
But both responses had the same core message which was, "Please do not hurt yourself", which is a very big improvement from "Do not express it when you are feeling this way"
Which actually made me less attracted to the idea of running out into the street. So that's nice
#suicide ideation#suicide#suicidal thoughts#ask to tag#mod post#depression#the depression has been really bad lately but tomorrow i'm gonna ask my doc about increasing my meds so!#hopefully that will help :)#no need to worry about me i am safe and warm in my little basement home and nowhere near any trucks#also! i simplified the convo a bit for easier posting. just to be totally transparent#also my memory sucks so it was never gonna be verbatim. i am doing my best
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Iām not going to lie Iām like really stuck and donāt know what to do with my feelings about All Of This. I dont have therapy until next week and they donāt have space to move me up and I dont really have anyone else to talk through how I feel ? I dont know what to do.
#like I live in my dads house. and he voted against me.#I didnāt speak to him at all yesterday because I just canāt look at him#I knew he was gonna vote that way but it didnāt seem real until it was already too late#and like my mom says he doesnāt have bad intentions but I donāt know how Iām supposed to know that ???#like he knew what voting for that entailed and he still did it anyways regardless of what his actual reasons were#and it makes me even MORE sick because I know that like 90% of my family voted that way too. how am I supposed to do holidays ?#and it makes me sick EVEN MORE because my best friend and my sister didnāt vote but if they had they would have voted that way too#so I genuinely have nobody to speak to about this but my mom and she does not want to hear me shit talk my dad#like I live in a state thatās almost definitely going to remain safe for me#but itās hard to know that they look at me and claim they love me and then turn and look at people just like me and vote for their demise#like do they really love me ? do they really see me as a person ?#I know the call to action is to condemn their supporters but how do you do that when youāre entire support network is made up of people who#wouldnāt care if you lived or died if you werenāt related to them ?#what do you do if you live in your conservative dadās house and there is literally nowhere to run because you canāt even afford to get a#shit apartment ?#what do you do when youāre just as alone with these people as you are without ?#vent post
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itās crazy how literally all i want to talk about recently is pigeons. autism is the most powerful force
#i loveeeeeeeeeeeee pigeons. doves too. but pigeons are my faves. chinese owlsā¦ indian fantailsā¦ classic old frillsā¦ lucernesā¦.. oughough#sorry i am unwell. the fact that i canāt have pigeons rn is killing me -_- but i have nowhere to keep them#safe from my cat that is. she is far too good of a hunter and far too determined
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tfw you're not sure if it's anxiety or hunger making your stomach hurt so you try to eat and unfortunately it was definitely anxiety
#i feel. so bad.#personal#cannot finish this fucking meal. don't want to throw it away bc i know I'll regret it later#having situations in/around my house that are stressful makes me very anxious because it gives me nowhere to go to escape them#and after the last few years the only way i cope with anything is having a safe space to hide from stuff#when that's gone i kinda fall apart. blah#(i am objectively safe btw don't worry about me#my neighbour however is in a less good situation and periodically knocks on my door for help#at unpredictable times and with unpredictable requests)
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2009 Monaco Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello)
#omfg jenson running to the podium is SOOOOOOOO ICONIC#he is an icon! he is a legend! he IS the *moment*!!#like who else is doing it like him???? wearing a whole racesuit and helmet jogging all the way down the pitlane?????? forrest gump who??#every race i somehow fall more in love him which i didnt think was possible as i am already incredibly endeared#hes so handsome on this podium my god...his pretty blue eyes....okay sry sry its very late at night#anyways not the most interesting race i dont think? i just feel incredibly proud of jenson and brawn as a whole#(not to jinx it but amr to me is the modern brawn so maybe they can pull something like this off this wknd!!)#watching seb era races is lowkey distracting for me cause i do care about all the other drivers but#i cant help but be like vader in rots like: 'where is seb? is he safe? is he alright?' and he DNFed this race and i was sad :(#i usually put the p2 and p3 as featuring but i realized kimi is nowhere to be found in these oops!!#jenson button#jb22#brawn#rubens barrichello#2009 monaco gp#2009 monaco grand prix#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#(2009: 6/17 races watched)#season: 2009
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.
So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.
My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?
Sister was like š¬š¬š¬ No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).
Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.
Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?
Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.
I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry š„ŗ (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.
#if you're curious. the guy in question is ThimothĆ©e Chalamet#look. from what i've seen he's good at his job and he seems a genuinely nice guy#nothing against him at all like. you go timmy šš#i do however have an illogical boiling rage against him#i don't know what it is but i genuinely feel like punching his face everytime he pops up#maybe in another universe we were arch enemies. maybe i was his school bully. maybe HE was my school bully idk#obviously i would never do anything like that but if there's one person that looks like it could use a wedgie is him#and don't get me wrong. i DO feel about about it cus it's not like i'm choosing to be irrationally angry#and this goes for a bunch of other people#i just!!! š”š”š”#seeing him (as in his vibe and general presence. nothing to do with physical appearance)#is the equivalent of trying to use cling film while it keeps sticking to itself#you know that one family guy scene with Peter and the cling wrap?? YEAH. THAT. genuinely so annoyed#i've always assumed this was a common thing. as in. there's always at least one person that gets on your nerves for absolutely no reason#but i guess maybe not???? *am* i a hater???#and btw this ONLY happens with either celebrities (in various degrees)#or people irl i've had some close proximity to <- and in this case it's always justified. i don't generally hate irl people out of nowhere#(okay there is ONE person in specific BUT i do feel slightly justified IMO. and in any case i always make sure to be as nice as possible)#(because poor girl didn't really do nothing wrong. i just have never vibed with her. i tried!! but yeah)#idk where i'm going with this lmao i might just ending up deleting it#whatever. don't worry guys you're all safe i love you very much and wouldn't slap any of you (unless asked you little freaks š)#darya talks to herself
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can I have some empathyā¦ can I PLEASE get a crumb of empathy
#and patience. if itās not too much trouble.#loved one today kind of brought up out of nowhere while we were walking down the street that Iāve been flat for months and should#talk to someone about that#and like. ok but am I wrong to think that is an entirely inappropriate thing to broach while walking a busy street at 1pm on a Saturday#I donāt think this is a safe and loving atmosphere we are trying to catch a train in five minutes.
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