#i am overwhelmed with how many followers i gained??

[soapsbaby]

i hope y'all realize that every time someone leaves a nice comment or gets thirsty in my tags it will LITERALLY have me kicking my feet and giggling

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Sass & Suspenders

Legal AU: Prosecutor!Bucky x Female!Doctor!Reader

You and Bucky are both professionals in a long term relationship, but you like to mix things up once in a while despite the humdrum of life.

Warnings: smut, 18+ only, minors please leave

Word Count: 2,953

A/N: Because I have a thing for men in suspenders and I've thought about this for far too long.

Bucky groaned. But not one iota of the deep articulation of the sound that escaped his lips was rooted in any form of pleasure. You shared the sentiment. Taxes - who ever enjoyed doing those?

"Do we have to?" he whined.

"You promised!" you admonished, knowing full well that if he persisted in his protests, you would succumb to his point of view. 

The pout you received in response was almost as good as his closing arguments. It was 9pm and you had both left your busy jobs to spend an evening together completing your tax returns. Your relationship had most certainly reached the pinnacle of excitement. 

Heaving a sigh of resignation, you nudged your boyfriend towards the study you shared. The two of you had been putting off the chore for several weeks and you had finally laid down the law to your handsome attorney.

"I'm tired."

"So am I, but it has to be done. Come on."

Despite the fact that your crazy careers that kept you busy until ridiculous hours, the two of you found a way to do something together, even if it was only sleeping. Early in your relationship, there had been a number of rescheduled or incomplete dates, but the offending party would make it up to the other with their favorite cupcake the following day. In all honesty you were surprised that you hadn't gained a tonne of weight because of the quantity of cake you had consumed.

It wasn't long before you knew that Bucky was the one for you and you apprehensively admitted your feelings to him. To your immense relief, he reciprocated those feelings and in no time at all you'd moved in together and were filling out tax returns like an old married couple. It was incredible how well you synced with each other, in spite of your differences. A difference that was evident on this auspicious evening.

When carrying out a task that needed concentration and an arduous undertaking, you liked to be comfortable, meaning you immediately changed into one of your chemise nightgowns. Bucky on the other hand felt the only way to concentrate was to roll up his shirt sleeves and dig in in full professional garb. He often said that staying in ‘character’ helped him focus.

Neither of you objected particularly to the other's choices, particularly when Bucky was wearing suspenders with his suits. You would never dare admit it, but you had developed an overwhelming fondness for seeing your sweetheart in suspenders. One might even describe it as a kink.

Before meeting Bucky, you had never met anyone under the age of 70 wearing suspenders. You considered it to be a quirk of many of your elderly patients. But for some reason, Bucky made it look like the height of fashion. Many a time you found yourself wondering what it would be like to grab a hold of the elasticated straps and pull him into your arms. Today happened to be one of those many distracting occasions that left you dazed and very much aroused. It was several moments before you acknowledged the fact that Bucky was leaning across the table in an attempt to meet your gaze.

"Hey there, doll," he gave you that lopsided grin that drove you nuts. "What happened to 'we must focus' and 'get this done tonight'?"

The flush on your face deepened. 

"What's going on in that brain of yours? You're kinda quiet."

You bit your lip, treating him to a coy smile. "I just have other things on my mind."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Just admiring how handsome my boyfriend looks."

"You looked like you were looking straight through me, not at me."

"Bucky, let's get back to this paperwork."

"No."

"No?"

"I want you to tell me what you were thinking about." His tone was low and commanding. Almost as though he already knew the dirty thoughts that had crossed your mind. 

You felt your pulse quicken. "May I plead the fifth, counselor?"

"No, doll. You're under my jurisdiction now. You're under oath to speak the truth."

"The whole truth?"

"Nothing but the truth."

"So help me God?"

"I'll be the only one here that can help you. Now tell me what you were thinking."

"How about I show you?" Rising from your chair, you sauntered over to Bucky's side of the large oak desk.

Sliding into his lap, you ran your fingers along the elastic straps of his suspenders, tracing the small grooves and indentations of the springy material.

"See something you like, doll?"

The groan that escaped your lips was nothing short of sinful. You wrapped one strap in each of your empty fists and tugged at them forcefully, pulling Bucky towards you until his mouth was barely an inch from yours. All words were forgotten on your part.

"Tell me what you want," he demanded, his voice so low you could barely make out his words through the carnal desire in his voice.

His lips were so close, you could practically taste a whiff of that last cup of coffee he had swallowed before leaving work. You watched the steely blue of his eyes shrink as his pupils expanded with arousal. Bucky's hands settled on either side of your face, his skin was on fire, or maybe it was yours, it was impossible to tell.

His lips brushed against yours lightly, so soft and it sent shivers through your nerves, shivers that made your whole body tremble. “If you want me to stop, tell me now,” he whispered. When you said nothing, he pressed his lips on yours a little harder, leaving a slightly sloppy kiss on your mouth. “How about now?” he asked. He traced a solitary finger along the line of your cheekbone. “Or now-”

The rest of his words were lost against your mouth. He kissed you gently, carefully, but it wasn’t gentleness you wanted, not now, not when it had been so long, and you knotted your fists tighter around his suspenders, pulling him harder against you. He groaned softly, low in his throat, and his arms circled you, gathering you against him.

All you wanted was Bucky, you wanted to feel him, all of him, pressing into you. You inhaled, breathing in his shaving cream, his cologne, that extra scent that was just...Bucky. The aroma was intoxicating and you were dizzy with desire to take him in. Parting your lips, you invited him. His tongue deftly entered your mouth, forcefully searching every possible crevice, teasing, tantalizing, tasting your unique flavor.

His hands slipped under the hem of your chemise, gently gliding his long digits across your sensitive abdomen, before moving them to your bountiful breasts, enjoying the way you whimpered and writhed every time he flicked one of your perky nipples. The electrifying sensations traveled through your body culminating in your arousal pooling in the meager piece of material covering your leaking lips. Before you had time to object, Bucky’s hands were splayed across the inside of your thigh, fingers creeping ever closer to your clothed clit.

"Mmm, objection," you hummed into his mouth.

Bucky unlocked his lips from yours, surprise and disappointment evident on his face. "Ok, I know, we have to get this done," he took his hand off your thigh and waved at the paperwork on the desk.

"Eager much?" your smirk insinuating at your meaning. You laughed and snapped one of his suspenders lightly. With the other hand, you swept your fingers over the bulge in his pants. "I have a counter argument."

"Oh?"

"Let me show you." Seductively, you slipped off his lap and knelt down between his legs. Looking up at his face, you watched the look of comprehension spread across his handsome features.

"Are you sure?" he asked, somewhat apprehensively. 

"Certain." The bulge seemed to be growing before your very eyes, straining at the seams of his pricey pants. "I've missed how you taste."

Bucky sucked in a breath in anticipation of your actions, eyes wide as you unzipped his pants and freed his hardening cock. Gently, you trailed your fingers up and down his shaft. "It's your turn to tell me what you want me to do to you."

"You know what I like, doll."

That you did. "I want to run my tongue over every inch of you." Lowering your head, you took him into your mouth, warm and soft, you took a moment to savor his taste. You hummed with appreciation, your tongue flickered and danced around the tip and instantly you felt him swelling and growing hard for you, his cock filling your mouth with every lick. 

You pulled back slightly as the head of his cock started to push against the back of your throat. "Tell me how good it feels. I want to hear you say it."

He groaned. The sound excited you, his body was coming alive for your mouth. You reached up to his chest, slipping your hand under the suspender strap and pushed down on his nipple.

"Oh doll, nobody has ever fucked me like you do," he cried as you worked your tongue over his frenulum. Bucky responded just as you wanted, the taste of pre-cum seeped into your mouth. He arched his back, eyes rolling backwards with pleasure.

Your free hand curled around his now rock hard member, with a loose grip, you gently moved your hand up and down encouraging the flow of more pre-cum from his tip to lubricate your actions and elicit the most ungodly moans from your boyfriend.

Hearing Bucky groaning so obscenely sent a tingle through your clit. After a pause, you tilted your head to take him further into your mouth, bobbing up and down with ease. His fingers mingled with your luscious locks as he guided your head gently as he tried not to trust too deeply into your throat. Bucky knew you often struggled to take him in completely and that he had to take care to not get too carried away in his bliss. 

It wasn't until he started cursing quietly under his breath in a way that made you come undone. You removed your mouth from his cock, "Buck, I can’t wait any longer… please I need you to fuck me."

"Doll, I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk tomorrow." He stood suddenly and pulled you to your feet effortlessly.

"Buck-" you whined. "Please, I need you. Touch me."

"Turn around."

You obeyed. His erection pressed against you was more than you could bear.

"Buck, fuck me like you mean it."

"I always mean it," he growled into your ear. He pushed you forward onto the desk, forcing you onto your elbows. Your chemise rose up as you bent over the thick table, exposing your ass. His cock rested comfortably between your thighs, eagerly twitching, ready for action. Your dripping wet pussy literally begged for it.

Bucky tugged at the strip of material that was the only thing keeping him from entering you. "Is this ok?"

"Oh God, yes," you exclaimed. At any other time, you may have been ashamed of your wanton cries, but right now you couldn't care less. All you wanted was to feel Bucky pushing into you, filling you up, making you pulse with pleasure around him in that way that no one else could compare.

"Not God, just me," he smirked.

At what felt like an excruciating slow pace, Bucky stroked your slit with his tip, collecting the succulent elixir that you had made, just for him. As he touched your clit, you shuddered deeply and gasped. You closed your eyes and focused on the ecstatic sensations that shot through your body as your opening stretched in receipt of his cock.

It was a good thing you were half sprawled across the sturdy table because your legs felt like jelly and would give way at any moment. As if Bucky could hear your thoughts, he curled his fingers around your hips, the tips pressed into your flesh salaciously.

"Oh Buck! I want you all the way inside me, give me all of you."

"Is that what you like, doll?"

"Yes, you know that’s what I like."

"I hope you're ready for this, because I know I am," Bucky purred.

He certainly was. He didn't hesitate in plunging himself further into you like sheathing a sword to its hilt. The force made you gasp with pain and surprise and the grimace on your face didn't go unnoticed. Bucky bent forwards, his abdomen pressed against your back and asked, "too much?"

"Tad too fast," you answered. "I may have been a little too hasty about what I asked for."

His new position had relieved some of the pressure and you felt a lot more comfortable and ready for him to try again. Bucky's breath was hot on your back and the wave of pain was now ebbing away, replaced by your impatient longing.

"Let's try something different, shall we?"

His fingers crept around you until he found your clit. Bucky encouraged you to spread your legs by nudging your knees apart. Slowly, his digits struck up a steady pace rhythm of slow movements, starting below and dragging up again and again, until your the bundle of nerves was flushed and firm under his fingers and your juices started leaking out around him. Not until your hips start undulating did Bucky try pushing back inside you. You had to admire his self control as he made you unravel with the smallest flick of his finger.

"Buck-"

"Doll?"

"If you keep fingering me like that, this is going to be over before you get the chance to have any fun."

"Watching you cum is extremely fun for me."

"You feel so delicious inside me, but I need you to fuck me with your cock."

Bucky was only too happy to oblige. Proceeding with caution, he pushed slowly until he was fully inside you. A burning sensation radiated through you as you stretched to let him in.

"How does that feel?" he asked slightly apprehensively.

"Exquisite!" you sighed. 

You shifted to make yourself comfortable before Bucky pulled out slowly, leaving you feeling empty inside. But you didn't have to wait long before he was thrusting back half inside you, making you gasp and moan. It was almost too much for Bucky, he was already struggling to control himself but he held back, wanting to give you as much pleasure as possible for as long as possible. In and out, he moved further with each thrust until he was sliding all the way into you, hands roaming over your exposed back.

“Bucky. Buck...” you murmured.

“Doll, a little louder for those of us in the back.”

“Does it turn you on?” you smiled.

“You’ll be screaming my name by the end of the night.” He rutted against you sharply in an unexpected rhythm. 

“Haha, you’re going to have to do better than tha-ahh,” you struggled to complete your answer as he slipped one hand between your 

thighs.

"Come on," he coaxed you by edging his fingers up your leg.

"Make me cum, counselor."

"On one condition."

"Name. It."

"You know what I want doll. Let me give you a taste of what you want." Devilishly, your boyfriend slipped his hand between your folds and gave your throbbing clit a few small flicks.

"Buck-uhhhh."

"That's right doll, just a little more," he grunted, starting to come undone himself. "Oh fuck, just a little more."

"Just a little more, Bucky!"

You pushed down against the hand he had clamped over your clit as he pounded against you mercilessly, all speech forgotten. Both of you panted and pumped away each chasing your release. There is was, that all too familiar knot at the bottom of your stomach. It spread through you like lightening, permeating every fiber of your being. "Bucky, oh Bucky, I'm-" you cried out.

Your walls fluttered around him pushing him to the brink of ecstasy. His thrusts became more and more erratic as you tightened around him.  Your whole body shook with pleasure. "Bucky!"

The sound of you screaming his name in euphoria was what made him pulse inside you. Arching his back, Bucky spilled his hot milky load while chanting your name under his breath. 

Neither of you moved for the longest time, you sprawled across the table with Bucky bent over your limp form.

"Buck," you finally worked up the energy to speak. 

"Mmmm?"

"I wish you could be inside me forever."

"Wouldn't that be nice," he smirked at the very thought.

For a few more moments, neither of you moved. 

"Buck?"

"Mmmm?"

"I think my arm fell asleep."

You could feel the rumble of his laughter flow into you. He slowly extricated himself from you, now you were only connected by the thin trail of his creamy elixir.

Bucky gripped your waist as you clumsily lowered yourself off the desk. "Looks like we made a mess of this." He waved his hand at the scattered receipts that were now strewn all over the table top.

"Next time don't wear suspenders if you want to avoid interruptions," you admonished him playfully while pulling your chemise back down to a comfortable position.

"Seriously, that's what turns you on?" Bucky wiped himself off and tucked himself back into his pants.

"They make you look distinguished!" You sighed and wrapped your hands around the offending article of clothing.

"So how would you feel if I put on some plaid pajamas?" Bucky raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think you should hold me responsible for what happens to you." Smiling, you pulled at the straps and led your bemused boyfriend to bed.

[melobin]

it’s our one year anniversary!! and it’s absolutely surreal to me how much we’ve grown over the past year. i love melobin so much, i adore being here and i adore being able to share things with all of you and i can’t wait to share more of the things i have planned !!

the past year has definitely been a little rocky LFMAO i’ve been through three url changes and more than one silly ot6 accusation exposing post but i’m still here ! and i’m still adoring and supporting riize as a whole. it’s been a few years since I’ve found myself as in love with a group as i am with riize and im so incredibly grateful that i got to meet so many wonderful people because of them. from mutuals to anons to just people who interact with my blog, i really adore and appreciate you all, more than i can express in words. i’ve taken a few breaks in the past year, all mental health related but you’ve all been so understanding and i cannot thank you enough for that.

it’s quite overwhelming that melobin has gained over 3.7k followers in the past year, i never really expected much other than a few people to talk to when i first started my blog but im so happy with the little community we’ve created here and i can’t wait for it to continue 🥺 i truly adore you all.

the melody and friends discord server has been a highlight of melobin for me !! i love that server and everyone i’ve met through it, i wanted to create a community that was welcoming and comforting and friendly and i truly believe i’ve done that.

not to be too soppy but there’s definitely some people i’d like to personally thank for being here this past year.

@kkurokitty my jaye !! i love you and everything you do so much. you were there when i first created melobin, we had our little taerae pfps and urls 😭 things have definitely changed a lot since then but you’re since as wonderful as the day we met all those years ago and im so thankful to have you.

@leejeongz amy ☹️ not even god knows how much you mean to me. everyday we speak i feel like we’re closer even if we’re a whole train ride apart. having you back in my life has been one of the best things to ever happen to me and i can’t wait to see you again. manifesting riize come to the UK soon so we can go and see them together. forever the moon to my stars 💔 i love you so bad :(.

@rishimuras melomiu <3 i’m so glad tals forced you to join my server the day it was created. it’s insane to me that we’ve been friends for almost a year now because i still feel like the same girl who was scared to message you whilst also feeling like ive known you for years. you’ve been a big part of melobin and my life for the past few months and i adore you so much. i only ever wish you the best and im more than ready to take on anyone who threatens that. i love you !!

@01zfan parter in crime i fear … the only person im honoured to lose 100 lp with in one day after spam playing tft with our little duckbills and dowsies. i was your biggest fan before we ever spoke and i remember almost doing a (metaphorical) backflip when i found out you already followed me 😭 your writing has changed me as a person and im so thankful to have become friends with you over the past few months. we fight the ot6 accusations together and we get you to plat SOON. i love you !! 💖

@tsandoll bunny !!!!!!!!! i love you !! you’ve been such a support for me with melobin and i can’t thank you enough! i love our little roblox games and the amount of shit we talk, i’m always laughing whenever we talk it’s almost impossible not to. you understand my humour so much and even when you don’t you still laugh .. true friend !!! i really hope soon you can feel better and feel like yourself again, i love you 💗

@sonjuyeonnie i wish i knew what blog to tag .. my fake text proof reader .. but seo i love you you’ve been such a sweetheart to me since you joined my server and i’ve been nothing but proud of you since then. you’ve accomplished so much and im so happy to see you thriving in life. i know we haven’t been able to talk much lately because of work but never forget how much i adore you and how im always here 💖

with some other people .. @antoncore my cee, you’ve grown so much in the few months we’ve known each other and i’m forever proud of you and i can’t wait to watch you grow more, i love you !! … @bbina my smau queen, btl changed me as a person and i’ll always support you in every smau you write even if i don’t know the idol you’re just TOO good. you’re so lovely and sweet and funny i luv yewww !! … @wonbin-truther the prettiest girl !! you’re so sweet and funny and so so talented, your sohee smau was pure GOLD i loved every second of it and i love seeing you pop up in my dms with the most random message, i fear i love you so bad 💔

there’s definitely others and i do adore all my mutuals so much !!! you all mean so much to me and i can’t wait for melobin to grow more. to one year and many more ! 💖

[nathaslosthershit]

Time Flies (slowly) [LN4]

(Read part 1 here) Summary: Years later, Lando hasn’t forgotten about the one that got away. A/N: here is a happy ending after all the angst in part 1

There was so much anger and resentment, so much hatred, after the breakup. Lando's now ex-girlfriend had graduated medical school. What was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life was overshadowed by the overwhelming feeling that the one person she wanted there with her, the man who had stayed by her side (even while across the world), wasn’t there. 

But she was too proud to reach out, as was he. As Lando stalked her private instagram on one of his spam accounts she forgot to remove from her following, he felt the urge to call, or even just text a simple “congratulations, I am still unequivocally in love with you by the way”. Maybe that was too much though.

With a career like hers, she wasn't out of the clear once she graduated, she still had what felt like millenia left of training to do. So she threw herself into her career. She didn’t want to think about her ex, so she didn’t give herself time to think. 

That worked for a while. Two years went by and she had been on top of her game. Training to work as an ER nurse had been difficult but rewarding. At first, only months after the breakup, she had a hard time but her philosophy of “working so hard you are too tired at the end of the day to think about how you lost the love of your life” had done her good for a while. 

But, she had started to slowly fray at the edges. Sleeping just enough to sustain her but not enough to make her feel rejuvenated. Eating small meals to get her through the day but not enough to feel full. She thought she could get through it.

It wasn’t until she had a 22 year old that had gotten into a racing accident that she really realized how bad she had been feeling. All of the feelings she had been pushing down immediately came charging back up when she saw a tanned boy with curly brown hair. As she helped give him the medical care he needed, she kept reminding herself of the same thing, it's not Lando, Lando is okay, it's not Lando, Lando is fine. It wasn’t until she had tipped a cart full of sterilized tools over that she realized how much she was shaking. One of her coworkers, another nurse on her floor, had to drag her away while she insisted she was fine. She continued on, or at least tried to, until she had made a few too many minor mistakes and was forced to go home. 

Walking into her flat, she made it just a few steps before she broke down. Exhaustion took over and she was unable to even get up after she cried herself to sleep right on the rug. Hours later she had finally gotten the energy to shower and then rot in bed. After what felt like eternity of  staring at the ceiling, she grabbed her phone, hovering over the call button on Lando’s contact that she had been so unable to block, much less delete, over the past two years. 

At what felt like rock bottom though, why not start digging some more?

Pressing the call button, she started to panic, wondering what she would say, till she finally heard his voice for the first time in years. “Hey, this is Lando, pretty busy at the moment, leave a message at the beep!” Voicemail. She had gained confidence for the first time in years and she was sent straight to voicemail. 

It was loud in the club Lando was in. He had started off the night with friends at a nice restaurant and after enough drinks had been passed around, drinks that he declined, they ended up at the club they currently were in. Most of his company was off with their significant others, or dancing with people he just met, while Lando was sitting and talking to a woman who had confidently approached him earlier.

He didn’t feel the phone vibrating in his back pocket when he had his arm around her as they made small conversation. It wasn’t until he started to get nauseous from the smell of alcohol everywhere that he went to the bathroom to check his phone, seeing he had missed a call from the person he thought about the most, even after years apart. 

Since the breakup, Lando had been a mess. It wasn’t his idea to break up. They had issues that they definitely needed to fix, issues they should have talked through instead of letting them snowball for so long, but it shouldn’t have ended the way it did. The minute they hung up those years ago he wanted to call her right back- no, he wanted to book a fight and see her immediately. 

Maybe it was the hope that had ignited in him for the first time in forever, maybe it was the second hand intoxication from being in a club full of drunk people, but Lando pressed call back, praying to hear her voice.

She had had enough time to realize that calling him years after she broke up with him was a stupid decision to make, so of course after it got declined she turned her phone off for the night. She didn’t have anyone else who would contact her anyway.

Because of this, she missed the first call Lando made, then the next seven. It was like an addiction he quickly picked up. After that sliver of hope came back, he couldn’t stop the thoughts that crept in. 

He thought it might have been a mistake on her end, she did ignore the rest of his calls- scratch that, the line was immediately cut the moment he tried to call back. 

But the little voice in his head kept saying ‘try again, maybe she will pick up, maybe there is hope’.

He didn’t sleep the rest of the night. He didn’t sleep the most of the next night either, not till he gave into the voice in his head and bought a plane ticket. 

As Lando sat on the flight, his mind ran through some of his favorite memories over their relationship, then, once those ran out, he imagined what it would be like when he showed up on her doorstep once more. He’d have a lot to explain, like why he was suddenly on her doorstep of her new apartment he had no actual reason to know the address to, something he was given by a good mutual friend who was very tired about hearing both sides moaning about how single they were.

It was all a blur as he landed and swiftly ran through the airport. He hadn’t packed more than an overnight backpack, deciding if this went horribly he would immediately go home to mop around, and if it went amazing he’d figure something out.

Standing in front of her doorstep now, he quickly knocked before he lost all remaining confidence. 

“Lando? What the fuck?” Was all she was able to get out. She would have felt insecure about how disheveled she looked if the man standing in front of her didn’t also look just as terrible. 

“I know, I know. This makes no sense, I have no reason to be here, and it's weird that I know your address.” He replied, correctly guessing every question she had but not giving a single answer to any of them. 

“At least you are self aware.”

“I had to see you, it was genuinely ruining my life. After you called and I missed it, I tried calling back for hours. I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about was why you called. If you had needed help, if it was a buttdial, or if you finally wanted to speak to me as much as I needed to speak to you after these few years. It's so strange feeling so many feelings for someone you broke up with too long ago to still be in love with. That relationship- our relationship was so far from perfect, long distance was too hard for either of us so instead we just phoned it in and stopped trying. But I just really miss you and I really want to make this work.”

This was crazy, both of them realized. Crazy of him to travel to another country after missing one phone call, crazy to have hope after years of silence on both ends, crazy to think that they could mend a relationship they both had let fall apart without giving it a fighting chance. But this was that fighting chance, this was the moment that could make or break them.

But she didn’t have anything to say, she couldn’t think of anything to say. So, when she pulled him by the collar and kissed him harder than he had ever been kissed, she hoped that he got her message.

It would be a long road to recovery, but it would be worth it.

Tagging: @eviethetheatrefreak, @96jnie, @youreverydayfangirl, @jxnellat, @eringaitskill, @slytherinholland

[sourbinnie]

☆ wish i could forget.mp3 ☆ [hit me where it hurts pt.2]

/ the sad ending /

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> double the angst ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> words that left scars on you are not easy to forget. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> cursing ; arguments ; no happy endings ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

first part -> hyung line | maknae line

a/n: so before you read, there’s gonna be a make up version of this reaction. i decided to get the sad one out first because it’s the one i could write rn :] but seriously i am overwhelmed by the support and the love that i have received. i gained so many followers and likes/reblogs that it’s insane to me. thank you all for everything and enjoy the heartbreak! unless you wanna wait for the happier version.

chan ✉

as chan took every step to your shared apartment, everything felt like it was crumbling apart. he couldn't sleep, he felt like he was suffocating in the dorms so he spent most of the night at the studio. exactly the opposite of what you would've wanted and that led him to think the worst of the worst. he knew he had messed up big time, he knew you were only trying to help him and this is how he repays you?

putting the key in the lock, he felt dread in his heart as he walked in. everything looked too perfect, like you weren't even there but as soon as his eyes stopped looking around, he saw you. you were standing there, bloodshot eyes as you finished... packing.

"please don't tell me this is what i think it is." he said and you just looked at him. a sad look in your eyes, as he tried to process everything that was happening and what he was gonna say but nothing was coming out. oh god, he was panicking, he did not want you to leave. "please (y/n) i'll do anything." 

"i made my decision. i would rather not be here if i'm not wanted and if i am gonna be treated like this. i'm sorry but there's nothing you can do that's gonna make me stay." you said and if he didn't feel broken and obsolete before, he was feeling pure numbness now. 

"we can work this out. this was a one time thing!" he said and this time oh did the tears fall from his eyes.

"it's not the first time chris and i think it's not gonna be the last time either." you said picking up your suitcase and heading towards the front door as chan looked in horror at the scene unfolding. "i'm sorry it had to end this way."

"i should be saying sorry, i fucked everything up." he said clearly and you just got close to him again, pressing a kiss to his wet cheek and wiping away the tears. 

"you'll be okay." no, no he definitely wouldn't be as he watched you leave from the apartment you two shared so many memories with and now they're gone. taken from him just like the power in him to stand up, as his legs gave out and the knot in his throat got tighter.

minho ✉

another award and you weren't there. this time for a good reason though and he still couldn't process his words, the ones he spoke with such cruelty and the instant regret that hit him when he would try to call you and would lead to voicemail. when he got off stage and the first thing he did was check his phone to see no messages, he felt like crying right then and there. he was not one to cry at all but since the fight, he felt like he could feel the tears coming in at any minute.

he knew the boys were all still confused about what happened and wondering why you didn't show up anymore. he didn't know how to explain that he was the one who messed up. he felt such disappointment in himself and carried it everywhere with him, he just couldn't function without you. 

he checked his phone again, texting one more time but this time they wouldn't send. no, that could not mean what he thought it meant right? that's not what he's thinking. he decided to leave without explanation and not care about his image or the professionalism of it all, he just wanted to see you and talk. as soon as he found himself in front of your door, he knocked and waited for you to come out. as soon as he saw you in front of him, no words were coming out of his mouth.

"minho? what do you want? i already left your things at the dorms." he didn't even have time to check that and it felt like everything was suddenly drifting away from him. "i know i didn't say anything but i think the things you said were enough for this to happen right?".

"i can't leave you (y/n), i know i fucked up immensely and that you don't want anything to do with me but please i'm asking for another chance." he said and felt his world crumbling when he saw you shake your head. 

"i wish i could forget what you said but i don't think i ever will. maybe it's stupid of me to do this and i will regret it later but right now? it feels like the right choice, goodbye minho." you said as you closed the door and left his figure standing there. 

changbin ✉

chan and jisung decided to go with him to the dorms as they were still trying to figure out what happened. they knew changbin didn't have the biggest temper but they never saw him get mad at you. he eventually said what happened exactly and he could sense the disappointment in his bandmates as he explained it but they were still there to support him through it all. even with that, he felt completely lost and heartbroken, he couldn't seem to forget the look in your eyes.

he decided to try and call you, maybe you had calmed down by that point. maybe you were ready to yell at him for what happened. maybe you wouldn't pick up at all and this would be the way you two drifted apart.

luckily you picked up but not so luckily he would have to hear some heartbreaking words.

"hey bin. i know what you're gonna say and i'm gonna say it before you. i don't think i can forgive you for what you said and i think it's better if we go our separate ways. like you said i get in your way too much and maybe someone else would be better for you." before he could answer, you were hanging up and leaving him absolutely speechless. he didn't even sense the tears coming out of his eyes as he tried to dial your number again and call you but it looked like you turned off your phone.

the fact that he made you feel like this, was gonna haunt him. he wanted to go to your apartment so bad but he found himself like he couldn’t move as he wiped the tears but they did not seem to stop. the part where you said he should be with someone else when all he could think, dream and feel was you. all he wanted was you and yet a part of him knew that after what happened you deserved better.

he sat down eventually and waited for someone to push him out of that state he was in. thankfully felix was there with him as he had no words but at least he held him as he still repeated your words in his mind.

"there's no one better than them lix. there's literally no one." he said as his friend tried to console him but there was no cure for a broken heart.

hyunjin ✉

as much as he insisted he was fine, he was far from it. he didn't know what he was doing most of the time as he expected for you to walk in. he wanted to see you so badly yet he was scared and as the days passed he was sure that this was the end unfortunately. he was tired of waiting so he headed to your work one day, being done with going back and forth and in circles around this fight. he didn't know what he was gonna say as he waited outside but he surely did know that he had to do something before it all fell apart.

"hyunjin? what are you doing here?" you asked and he could already sense by the tone of your voice, you did not want to see him.

"i wanted to talk to you, about what happened and about us." he said and you crossed your arms 'cause the last thing you wanted to do was to fight again with him outside of your work. "listen, i know i should've called you or showed up earlier but-."

"but you didn't and now it's too late. i really don't wanna hear it." you said as you headed towards the opposite direction but he grabbed your wrist before you could walk away. "let go, seriously what the hell hyunjin? you hurt me and then leave me all alone, expecting for me to hear you out?"

"i don't know why i didn't contact you okay? i was a fucking idiot. but please i'm here now and i want to fix things, it's been hell without you." he says honestly and raising his voice. he wasn't mad, he was just frustrated and tired of the fighting but this time he knew he deserved to go through this 'cause what you went through was worse. 

"well i don't want to. i'm done with you and i don't want to see you ever again." he let go then and felt a lonely tear fall from his eye. you went away, far from him and the pain he brought. you didn't want anything to do with him anymore and he knew this would be the last time he saw you so he stood there as he watched you. walk away from him and his life forever.

jisung ✉

you in fact did not come back to jisung. it's been so long without you, he started to forget what being with you was like. every love song turned into a sad heartbreak song in the lyrics he wrote, every step he took was in direction towards your apartment but he couldn't go back there. he felt so alone and broken, how could he be so careless? how could he say that stuff to you? those words kept repeating in his head over and over.

you were never too much and you definitely didn't make his life difficult. you made everything so much better, right now it just felt like it was all crumbling.

"jisung? i'm sorry, i was just packing my stuff." he didn't even know how he got here, he must've confused himself again and thought he was going to the dorms. but here you were standing in front of him with boxes upon boxes of stuff that you had packed. you didn't take the photos or the presents that he gave you and that left a sour taste in his mouth.

"it's okay, it's not like i come here anyways." he said and that left you confused but then you realized that yeah it was hard to walk in here. too many memories that blinded you and saddened the atmosphere. "can we talk?" he asked and you didn't know what there was to talk about.

"i think it's better if we don't. before we say things we regret again." you said and that was a dagger to jisung's heart. of course you were still mad, what was he thinking? that you were gonna give him a second chance? that everything was gonna be alright?

"i will always be sorry (y/n), please know that." he said and you nodded, not believing a word he said. he sighed as he left the apartment, hoping to never come back. he wouldn't see you in it again so what was the point right? no more future that held you two, it was just him on his own again. and that was worse than anything he had ever felt.

felix ✉

he was already calling you as soon as chan got home from dropping you off. he didn't know what came over him when he pronounced those words but he was surely gonna make things up even if it took him everything. he knew you needed distance right now but he needed to know how you were (and guess who's clingy now?). 

"baby, listen i know you don't want to talk to me right now but please i hope you know that i didn't mean a thing i said. i was just in a bad mood but it's not an excuse for what i said and-." he knew he was gonna get cut off, he was just rambling but everything that you said cut through him.

"so that's what you came up with? listen i don't know what gives you the right to use an insecurity of mine against me but i'm not gonna tolerate it. it was a low point for me that you did that and i don't think i'm gonna be able to move on past it especially after i told you that those kinds of comments still hurt." you said clearly, there was no sadness or anger in your voice. it was just plain and simple what you said yet felix felt like falling apart right then and there.

"i know love and i'm deeply sorry. i won't insist on it but please if you reconsider, call me? i know i shouldn't have messed with that. i truly do love you forever and ever." he said but you did not want to hear it so you hanged up and left him right there, with no more words coming out of his mouth. chan who witnessed the whole scene and expected you two to make up but it looked like it was from reality.

"lix, i'm so sorry." he said as to which the other nodded and sighed. he didn't want to cry in front of his hyung but it was inevitable when the tears were just rolling freely through his cheeks. he was wrapped in chan's arms as he let go of what he feared the most and started to think how he was going to handle his life without you in it. 

seungmin ✉

ever since he said those things, everything changed. you two were still together but it was never the same, it felt like he was trying to compensate for the hurt of his words with material things, sweet words and dates. it was enough for him to realize that he was never gonna be able to completely make it up to you because he didn't know how to solve what his words did.

so when he saw you packing even if it hurt so fucking much, he had to let you go. he had to actually live with the reality that you were not be with him anymore, no more fake smiles or pretending to be fine. you weren't okay with him and it showed. 

"i'm sorry it had to be like this. i wish i never said those things to you and we both could be okay again." he said sadly and with a cloudy vision. it felt like all the air was taken from his lungs and like he was trapped in a room with no way out. 

"i wish i could forget them." you said calmly and gave him a little smile as you hugged him one last time. he held you tightly not wanting to let go because this moment would be one that he never forgot. it just pained him that he hurt you so deeply that it made you want to leave. it scarred him that he made so much damage that nothing could repair it even if it wasn't the best solution, he was still trying right?

"i love you (y/n)." there was no response, just your broken smile as you looked at him again and left. it finally broke him that there was no more, no more love, no more relationship and no more holding on. he didn't know what he was gonna do without you and picking up the pieces of what you had been was not the solution. he had to grow up and be better next time in his next relationship. yet he didn't see that happening, he just wanted you and will always want you.

jeongin ✉

did you talk later? no, he wasn't ready to have the conversation. you also weren't ready to confront him about his words. it felt like the perfect picture was ruined immediately when you heard him mutter his cold and harsh words. he felt like he did everything wrong, it was hard to get him out of his room because all he wanted was to close the door and never come out of it. he wanted to see you but everything was stopping him, he truly thought you deserved better this time.

when he finally saw you because you were the one who decided it was enough and you two needed to talk. he felt like falling right then and there in your arms where he belonged but he couldn't do that, at least not again.

"i'm sorry (y/n)." he said and looked at you for a response. he knew he should say more but he couldn't find the right phrasing of things to go with it so he just said the words that came out of his heart. "i should have never said that and i'm deeply sorry that i hurt you."

"i'm sorry for not being what you wanted innie. it's okay, i guess it was gonna happen. i hope you'll be okay after this and that you grow from it." ouch, you didn't know how much these words would be kept in his head like a mantra. he wanted to grow from it now, he wanted to be better right now for you and for you guys to be okay but this was more like a goodbye than a hello.

"please don't go." he said and you just kissed him to shut him up one last time. his hands met your cheeks as he deepened the kiss not wanting this to be your final one but knowing all too well that it was. you would stay there, standing in the living room looking at each other for a while to then let go and leave him stranded like you two just didn't share the most precious and hurtful kiss. it wasn't okay, none of it will be okay without you in his life and as much as he would want to move on, everything would bring him back here again.

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

The Babysitter (25)

Beach House Shenanigans

MILF Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+

Summary: In need of money and a way to escape the problems at home, you get a job babysitting two lovely boys named Billy and Tommy Maximoff. What happens when you start to feel things you shouldn't for their mother? Will it bloom into love or leave you heartbroken?

A/N- I would just like to say that there will be some sensitive issues in this story such as alcoholism, homophobia, anxiety as well as more mature content such as smut so, if you continue to read this, please consider this warning.

The Babysitter Master list | General Master List

Chapter 25- W/c 5.1k- This chapter contains 18+ Smut

Tag list- @natsluttt @cerberus-spectre @dorabledewdroop @bibliophilicbi @hopelesslyfallenninlove @simpform1lfs @get-the-fuck-outta-here @natashaswife4125 @marvelwomen-simp @supercorpstan97 @aliherreraaa @aru-son (Comment if you want to be added)

Beach House Shenanigans

Keeping to your promise to Wanda, you quickly and thoroughly coated your body in sun cream, ready to spend a length of time in the blaring heat. Your feet sank slightly into the soft sand, the small grains moving under you as you walked towards the sea where the others were. When you could feel the sand become wet, your face scrunched up a little at the weird sensation of it on the soles of your feet, swiftly making your way into the water, a sharp intake of breath leaving you as the water was a lot colder than you expected.

"Y/n's here!" Tommy shouted, swimming over to you while you slowly walked towards where he was, his arm going to your shoulders as he held onto you for support, the water not relatively deep yet.

"I am," you chuckle out at his enthusiasm, "And I'm ready to play," your tone was excited, matching his overwhelming amount of energy, another exclamatory leaving him as he gains his mother, brother, and uncle's attention. Your gaze meets Wanda's, the striking green softening when you swim with her son towards them, her lig tugging into a smile at the joyful expression on your face.

It was a lot harder than you anticipated to keep your gaze on her face, the exposed skin on display enticing you to look, her swimsuit not too revealing but leaving enough to the imagination and oh you were imagining many things. She seems to catch how your gaze drifts down to her neck, watching the water droplets slowly trickling down the slightly tanned skin, following them as they trail lower, across her collarbones, almost at her-

"Let's play a game," Billy cheers eagerly after Pietro mutters something in his ear, his eyes turning to you, mischief etched onto his face as he raises his brow at you in a knowing way. It's quickly decided from there on, Wanda going on Pietro's shoulders as the twin's take turns on yours, trying to push their mother off Pietro but not doing too well at succeeding. You chuckle when it's Billy's turn, the twin significantly less emphatic than his brother as he shyly climbs onto your shoulders, holding on with a death grip as he seems to be nervous. You hold his hands, now in the shallower water, not too shallow that if anyone fell they'd hit the floor, but not as deep as where you were swimming, Pietro having to crouch to allow Wanda to meet Billy's height.

"Come on Dorogoy," Wanda encourages, Pietro walking them closer as she softly pushes the twin on your shoulders, your body keeping you both upright. She senses his nerves and goes to grab his hands, gently playing with him that way, a timid smile on his face before he asks to come down, Tommy extremely excited to have another turn.

He practically climbs onto you to get onto your shoulders, his legs loosely pressed against you compared to Billy's secure grip, his arms already reaching for his mother, a competitive glint washing over in her eyes as Tommy tries to win. Despite being the caring and loving mother, Wanda doesn't let him win, far too competitive to do that on this occasion, Tommy's face scrunching up into concentration as he uses all his strength to try and push Wanda off Pietro's shoulders. You can tell Wanda still goes a little easy on him though, her pushes soft and careful until she decides it's time to win, her push taking you by surprise, both you and Tommy falling back into the water, a loud splash indicating the older twin's victory.

The angelic laugh of Wanda reached your ears as you reemerged to the surface, Tommy groaning in defeat, a massive smile still engraved onto his and Billy's, who was with his grandfather sat in the shallow bit, face at the fun they were having. The gentle sound you loved so much soon turned to a surprised yelp, Pietro standing up suddenly, a low and taunting chuckle escaping him as he walked further into the water.

"Don't you dare Pietro," she semi shouts, holding onto him as he shakes his shoulders, trying to knock her off balance.

"Don't what Sestra?" he says innocently, wrapping his arms around her legs and securing a grip on her.

"nay bud mudakom (Don't be an asshole)," she grits out, not wanting to be a part of whatever her brother was scheming.

Before she could utter another irritated phrase at him, he dropped down into the water, taking Wanda with him, and held her under for a bit before emerging from the water, both gasping for breath, her hand slapping him at his annoying, but amusing to you, actions.

"Cyka," She huffed out, catching her breath and pushing back the soaking strands of hair in her face, glaring down at her brother who just looked at her with a triumphant smile that soon turned mischievous again. Out of nowhere, Pietro practically threw her off his shoulders into the water, a loud, unapproving noise escaping her before she splashed into the cool sea, her appearing at the surface again with a dangerous look aimed at her brother. The look quickly softened at the sound of the twins in a fit of laughter, an amused chuckle escaping you helping calm her nerves as she swam past her brother, purposely kicking her leg out at him before coming up to you, her arms wrapping around your waist.

"He's so lucky the twin's are here," she mutters before pressing a kiss to your lips, the twins busy playing with him now, giggling about what their uncle just did, Wanda now entirely yours.

"Don't kill your brother please," you murmur softly, her arms snaking further around your waist as she pulls you closer, guiding you both towards the deeper part of the water to be alone. You have to control yourself as you feel her hands against your bare back, your eyes flickering back down to her neck as a few more drops of water trickle down her skin, glistening in the sunlight.

"My eyes are up here Detka," she teases, lifting your chin with her finger, pressing her lips against yours once more, pulling back with an indecipherable expression, her annoyance quickly fading in your presence. "What were you and Pietro up to earlier?" she asks, her hands drifting a little lower, knowing no one could see you both. You swallow nervously, her eyes peering through her lashes into your own, her eyes flickering between your lips and eyes.

"What?" you manage out, guilt written all across your face as Wanda pulls you even closer, her breasts pressed up against yours as she smirks at you, her tongue swiping over her bottom lip to wet it.

"Detka," she sighs out, purposely lowering her voice, "I know you are both up to something, so you might as well just tell me," her mouth gently bites down on your ear lobe when she finishes speaking, her lips then pressing against your neck ever so softly, before trailing across your jaw, lips then ghosting yours. "Come on Detka, be a good girl for me," she chuckles at the small, needy groan that leaves you, your eyes significantly darker at her teasing.

"Wanda," you murmur out, losing yourself in the various shades of green that were swirling with lust. "We're not-I'm not," you stutter out, unsure of how to form words at the way she was staring into your eyes, your body practically burning as her hands drift even lower, cupping your ass and pressing you against her body.

"Are you sure Dorogaya?" she rasps out and it's sinful that she's teasing you like this. "Think about it, Moya Lyubov, you don't want me to punish you again, do you?" her tone borders a mocking and condescending one, further causing arousal to pool between your legs at her dominance.

"I..." your mouth parts but no more words form, lost in thought when you focus on her fingers drawing random patterns onto the skin of your inner thighs, her smirking sultrily at you as she awaits a response, "Pietro wants me to be a distraction so he can dunk you again." The words are blurted out when Wanda's mouth hovers mere millimetres away from yours, her smirk turning into a teasing smile as you gave into her wishes, her eyebrow raising at her brother involving you in his plans.

"Oh did he now?" she mutters out, pressing a soft kiss against your lips, letting her tongue swipe your lips teasingly to earn another desperate noise before pulling back, revelling in working you up. "Such a good girl for me Detka," she praises, your cheeks instantly turning red at the husky voice, "I think you deserve something later, don't you?" The suggestiveness isn't missed by you, wild and lustful thoughts flickering through your mind at her promise.

"Yes," you sigh out and it's needy, the tone making Wanda smile as well as the way you were currently staring at her like she was the only thing in the world you needed to live.

"I thought you'd agree," she chuckles out, making you smile shyly as her hands return to your waist, actions now innocent as you bury your face at the crook of her neck, trying to keep your thoughts pure to ease the throbbing heat between your thighs. "What's wrong?" she asks teasingly, knowing full well why you were hiding your face.

"Stop it," you grumble, her hands sliding up and down your sides softly while she presses a kiss to your wet hair.

"Come on, we need to get Pietro back." You laugh against her skin, the older twins never passing up on an opportunity to mess with the other.

***

"When do you want me to distract her?" you ask while swimming up to Pietro in a hushed voice, Wanda subtly watching your movements for the signal. You swim up behind the man, forcing him to turn around and face you, his smile widening at your words.

"Now would be a good time," his tone excited, his gaze remaining on you as you push your arms out, seemingly trying to keep afloat to the man, Wanda making her way over quietly at the signal. "I think she's gotten over my earlier dunk," he snickers out, laughing to himself at his antics, an amused smile sneaking onto your face when you can see Wanda getting closer, her body slipping deeper into the water, ready to terrify her brother.

"What's the signal going to be?" you ask, his brows furrowing a little, "So you know when to come over."

"Well, you could-" A scream interrupts his words as he's pulled under the water, Wanda splashing out of the water, laughing to herself once she's let go of her brothers leg, the silver haired man glaring at his sister who swims over to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind.

"You cyka," he mutters towards you both, Wanda smirking from over your shoulder, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as he pushes back his wet hair from out of his eyes. "This starts war," he grumbles, furthering Wanda's fit of laughter, Natalya's voice interrupting the moment,

"What shenanigans are you up to?" she asks her children from the beach as they swim back, your brows raising at her pronunciation of the word. To say she butchered it would have been too kind, an endearing smile on your face though at her attempt, her accent making it difficult to say.

"Shenanigans, Mama," Wanda corrects softly, thinking back to how they would watch sitcoms in Sokovia to learn English, her mother rolling her eyes before saying something in Sokovian, shutting up the teasing comments that were about to leave Pietro's mouth, his father unable to stop his laughter at his wife's words, the twins and you looking at each other in confusion.

You catch Wanda's stare as she tries not to laugh at her mother's rambling, her playfully pinching her son's ear making him groan at her, Wanda explaining to you and the boys vaguely, "Mama said a bad word," the twins laugh at that, going to save Pietro while you simply smile at Wanda, her arm wrapping around your waist as everyone leaves the water, ready to shower and get clean for dinner, the plan being to go to the local restaurant soon.

You were currently laying on the bed, waiting for Wanda to finish showering, your fingers playing with the stray threads at the end of your shorts while you day dreamed, unaware of the ensuite door opening.

"Where did you put my stuff Detka?" she asks, your body jumping slightly at being knocked out of your pointless thoughts, your head lifting to look at her, going blank at the sight of her. 

The towel was haphazardly thrown over her body to cover herself, the top of it slowly creeping down as she tried to shuffle her arms to keep it in place, the movement causing her breasts to be pushed up, your gaze remaining on the enticing skin exposed. Your mouth merely parted, no words leaving your lips as your eyes blatantly raked over her body, unable to hide the enamoured and awed glint in them, the lust and desire soon swirling in them as you finally met her gaze.

"Stuff?" you ask, not entirely sure what was going on, your mind completely out of order at the moment. She chuckles a little at your state, walking closer to the bed, towering above your body, your eyes peering up at her, submission written across your face.

"My suitcase Detka," she explains, your cheeks blushing at the obvious answer to the question. When you don't respond, still struggling with the gay panic, she continues, "I can't exactly go to the restaurant like this Dorogaya," she smirks before adding the last part, "I'm sure you wouldn't want people staring at me." 

A wave of jealousy hit you square in the face, the thought of others gazing lustfully at her not something you would want, your mind getting its act together before getting up from the bed and retrieving her case, her quickly taking out some clothes before returning to the bathroom, winking at you playfully before shutting the door, a groan leaving you at the heat that had built between your thighs once again.

Eventually, everyone was ready to leave, the entire family soon seated in the restaurant, Billy and Tommy being entertained by you while the others talk, mainly Natalya gushing over how her children were both going to be thirty tomorrow, unable to stop herself from telling more embarrassing stories from throughout their lives. Pietro mentioned the table story, trying to bring it up, catching your attention, but it was quickly shot down by Wanda, her going up to order more drinks for the adults, dragging Pietro with her, not trusting him with you.

You were talking to Tommy when you looked up, seeing that Pietro had returned with most of the drinks balanced in his grasp somehow, a small impressed expression taking over your face before it turned to confusion, looking behind him to still see Wanda at the bar with the drinks for you and her. There was a tall man with her, his hand slicking back his brown hair while he leaned against the bar, a charming smirk engraved on his face as he spoke to Wanda, a polite smile on her face as he continued to talk to her.

Pietro caught your stare, making a teasing comment that only you could hear about being jealous, your gaze immediately flickering away from the captivating woman, dismissing his comments and focussing back on the twins. After a considerable amount of time had passed, the minute lasting a lifetime, your gaze went back to her, Wanda seemingly interested in the man's words as she laughed at something he said, jealousy coursing through you.

You ignored the feeling, knowing that Wanda wouldn't do anything to hurt you, but it still gnawed at you while she was over there, the man blatantly looking at her in a lustful way when she'd turn her face away.

Soon, she returned with the drinks, your gaze remaining on the twins as her body slid next to yours on the end of the booth seats you were in, her arm wrapping around your waist.

"I could feel you staring, Detka," she whispers teasingly in your ear, her lips softly pressing against your cheek, her arm pulling your body closer to yours, a shy smile on your face as she caught you. "I'm yours, there's no need to be jealous," she mutters gently, your shoulders shrugging against her.

"I wasn't jealous," you reply back, the twins and other family members engrossed in conversation while she hums teasingly in response, pretending to agree.

"Of course you weren't," she laughs out, going to press a kiss against your lips when Pietro and the twins make a disgusted noise, you and Wanda rolling your eyes at their immature antics.

"I was just thirsty," you say, as if it were obvious, before taking a sip of the drink she brought you, her laughing at your excuse before placing a kiss to your forehead to avoid any more disgusted noises erupting from the three childish figures.

Before you knew it, you were stuffed to the brim, your body leaning against Wanda's as you all digested the delicious food served in the restaurant, Tommy and Pietro looking as if they were about to pass out from how much they managed to eat. Billy teased his brother, the other twin groaning, complaining how his stomach felt like it was going to explode making you all laugh, Pietro muttering in agreement and refusing to move for as long as possible.

Despite their current state, the two trouble makers were the first to suggest dessert, Wanda and Natalya rolling their eyes at their children's behaviour, you smiling at Billy who was also interested in having some dessert, asking if you wanted to share something with him. You and Billy shared some ice cream, wanting something cool in the still warm air, the other adults deciding against it besides Pietro, who ordered two sugar filled treats to share with Tommy, the smaller twin definitely going to have a sugar rush soon.

As predicted, Tommy suddenly buzzed with excitement on the way back to the house, Billy the complete opposite as he tried to keep up with his brother's energy, clearly not succeeding. You knew how the boy found going out exhausting, sensing he had some sort of anxiety as he tried to stay as close as he could to you, Wanda and yourself finding the action endearing as he grew attached to you.

You helped the tired boy out of the car, Tommy jumping out before running upstairs to change into his pyjamas, wanting to join the adults on the deck for the 'adult talk' as he was still experiencing the sugar high. You smirked when you made it into the twins' room with Billy, him deciding he was going to sleep instead, Tommy seemingly starting to deflate as he slowly pulled on his shirt, fatigue suddenly kicking in. Wanda soon joined you upstairs in their room to say goodnight to Billy, watching in amusement as Tommy trudged downstairs, wrapping himself in a blanket as the air was much cooler now outside, flopping dramatically onto the chair next to his grandmother who wrapped her arm around him, her free hand holding onto her drink that was almost knocked over by the boy's actions.

You didn't even bother sitting down, instead helping the boy back upstairs into bed, telling Wanda to stay with her family while you helped him get into bed. It only took a few minutes to get the boy to brush his teeth and get into bed, his brother flat out in the other one, small, quiet snores already leaving him making you smile while tucking the other boy in.

"Goodnight Y/n," he tiredly murmurs, whispering back to him the same before silently leaving the room, making your way back to the deck to enjoy some time with Wanda.

She opened her arms and the blanket she stole from Tommy up, letting you slip in front of her body as you shared a seat, your back flush against her front as she wrapped her arms around your body from behind, your head leaning back against her shoulders as you relaxed into the embrace.

You watched with a smile on your face as Natalya moved closer to her husband, leaning her head against his shoulder as casual conversation mixed with the quiet sounds of nature nearby, the sea just about audible as small waves gently crashed over one another. Pietro seemed to be more relaxed and less mischievous now, seemingly reaching the end of his own sugar high as he relaxed into his chair, putting his feet up onto the small table nearby to get comfy.

The conversation was pleasant as the time passed, Natalya asking you about Natasha and Yelena once finding out you knew Melina, also asking how her old friend was and amazed at how small the world seemed to be. The talk then turned to your exams that were going to be soon, then your university choices, Wanda saving you as she knew you were stressing over the amount of pressure you were going to be under soon, you thanking her by squeezing your interlocked fingers under the blanket, her head resting against yours as the conversation soon moved elsewhere.

Around half an hour later, Pietro called it quits, deciding to go to bed which then inspired his parents to follow suit, you and Wanda deciding to stay out a little longer, enjoying the view of the night sky. Everyone bidded each other goodnight, Erik reminding Wanda to lock the door before coming up, leaving you and the older woman alone, your head tilting back to gaze into her eyes.

Her lips softly pressed down against yours, her hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer, a smile sneaking onto both of your faces as you parted from the innocent kiss.

"I think I promised someone something earlier," she rasps out, gazing into your eyes while a smirk replaces the pure smile, her hands slipping under your shirt, warm fingers meeting your skin.

"Oh, did you?" you sigh out, trying to act nonchalant as her nails scratch against your abdomen softly, her fingers trailing lower until they reach the end of your shorts, tracing random patterns against the exposed skin of your thighs, the blanket covering all of her movements.

"I did," she hums out, pressing a sensual kiss to your neck, a low groan escaping you when her hands inch high up your inner thighs, caressing the skin she could get to with your shorts still on. "You were such a good girl for me Detka," she purrs into your ear, a small whimper escaping you at her words, the praise causing arousal to pool between your thighs, her touch burning into your skin as her lips meet your neck to litter it in hot, open-mouthed kisses. "Always so good for me," she lets her fingers move to the button of your shorts, her fingers toying with the waistband to tease you before deftly unfastening the item, a ragged breath escaping you. "Do you want me to take care of you Detka?"

"Here?" you whisper out, tilting your head back to meet her eyes, groaning quietly at how her eyes were completely darkened with lust and desire, nothing but hunger evident across her features. You weren't sure whether you would get caught here, not wanting for anyone to catch you both.

"Don't worry Dorogaya, no ones going to see us," she whispers, easing your nerves, allowing the thrill of the situation to kick in, the heat between your thighs incessant. "Is this ok?" she murmurs softly, ensuring that you were alright with the situation, her lips still pressing against your neck in a manner that was driving you insane.

"Yes," you sigh out, her tongue licking a stripe up the column of your throat, feeling you groan at the sensation and smirking into the warm skin of your throat.

Her fingers slip back under the waistband of the fabric, pushing the item down your legs so you could part them for her, her words further causing you to throb and clench around nothing.

"That's it Detka, spread your legs for me," you groan once more at her words, doing as she asks and spreading them, her finger brushing over the wet patch of your panites, a low moan escaping you. "Fuck Detka, you're so wet," she husks out, mouth at the shell of your ear, a slightly louder moan escaping you. Her hand slides up your neck, her hand covering your mouth and guiding your head backwards to lean against her body, her eyes meeting yours. "As much as I love your pretty moans Dorogaya, we have to be quiet," she whispers, you nodding in agreement but moving your hand to keep hers pressed against your mouth, enjoying the idea of her keeping you quiet.

Her fingers go back to teasing you through the soaked fabric, her index finger circling your clit slowly through the material, your hips trying to grind against her while her hand muffles the lewd noises that escape you, your eyes admiring her as she gazes at your submissive state, dominance radiating off of her.

"I love you," she rasps out, another noise being ripped out of your throat because fuck that was hot. Normally when she'd say the words, your heart would melt a little, warmth filling you but as her fingers slid your panties down, her voice low and raspy, you couldn't stop the gush of arousal that settled between your thighs, desperate for her touch. "I love you so much," she purrs out, her fingers swiping through your folds, gathering the abundance of arousal there and coating her digits in it, slowly sliding them up and down your entrance to tease you. "I love this body so much," she moves her mouth to your ear, whispering in a sultry tone directly into your ear, your mind fogged with the thought of her.

"Please," the plea is muffled by her hand, the older woman still hearing it and smirking to herself at how needy you were for her, your hips trying to move up in search of more friction.

"I love how it reacts to my touch," she continues her torment, you groaning against her hand as she brushes the pad of her finger over your clit, your hips bucking up suddenly, emphasising her point. "How it gets so desperate for me," she moans lowly against the shell of your ear when she slides a finger inside you, the warm and wet feeling surrounding her digits so hot to her. You moan against her palm at the feeling of her long, slender digit filling you up, teasingly pulling it back out at a leisurely pace before thrusting it back in and curling it against your g-spot, Wanda being patient with you and trying to drive your body mad with her slow, deliberate pace. "How you get so desperate for me," she can feel your hand pressing against her side, holding onto her as if your life depended on it.

She lowers her mouth to kiss your neck again, her sucking gently on the skin, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to have you whimpering at the feeling of her mouth on you, another finger effortlessly sliding into your soaking core.

The feeling of her fingers stretching you, pumping into you a little faster caused pleasure to wash throughout your body, a desperate noise leaving you when she curled them both beautifully inside you, hitting a spot you didn't even know existed.

"Fuck, you like that Dekta?" she sighs out sinfully, her tone low and raspy, accent lacing her words in the best way possible and fuck you were lost in the thought of her, nothing but the feeling of her inside you floating around in your mind. "You take my fingers so well," Wanda murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before moving her mouth back to your ear, knowing how much it turns you on, taking a risk with her next words. "I can't wait to fill you up with a strap on one day."

A broken moan escapes you at her filthy words, the idea of her fucking into you flashing across your mind, clenching down hard and desperately around her fingers, back arching against her body.

"To take you from behind, have you begging me to come," she can tell how much you like the idea by the way your hips move frantically against her hand, her palm brushing your clit with each buck of your hips, driving you closer towards your powerful release. "You'd love that, wouldn't you?" she teased and its condescending but you love it, nodding against her body as her dirty talks continues, both of you enjoying this new dynamic "You want me to treat you like my little slut," A loud moan is ripped from the back of your throat, Wanda's hand only just muffling the lewd sound, her fingers mercilessly thrusting into you as she can feel you're teetering on the edge of pleasure. "Come on Detka, come all over my fingers, make a mess on them," on command, your body tenses against her, a string of moans muffled by her palm as your legs tremble against her hands, thighs closing around it as you ride out of your aftershocks, body still shaking a little at how powerful the release was, pleasure and euphoria coursing through your veins, body slumping against hers.

She carefully moves her hand, pressing her lips to yours softly, your body still trying to recover as it still trembles ever so slightly. The older woman murmurs sweet, soft words to coax you back to reality as your head rests at the crook of her neck, panting against the warm skin before pulling back, meeting her softened gaze and claiming her lips passionately but gently. Your hand cups her cheek, deepening the kiss to make it even more intimate, the moment becoming tender and slower.

"Wanda," you sigh out and it's just about audible, your eyes fluttering open as you pull back from the kiss, gazing lovingly into her eyes, the pools of green overflowing with care. You hesitate a little on your words, building up the courage to say what you've been wanting to for ages while admiring her. The moonlight gently illuminates her skin, her green eyes watching with a tenderness as her fingers caress your cheeks, her lips tugging up into a soft smile that adorns her features perfectly. "I love you," you whisper, honesty and passion lacing the words, her smile widening before she leans forwards to claim your lips.

It's soft, it's passionate, it's intimate, it's different from every other kiss you've had and it's addictive. When she pulls back, you surge forwards to claim her lips again, needing to feel them pressed against you, your body turning so that you were straddling her lap, making it easier to claim her lips over and over again. Only when air becomes necessary do you both reluctantly part, both of your chests rising and falling with ragged breaths as you lean your forehead against hers, eyes fluttering shut.

"I love you Detka," she whispers in response, a smile engraved on her face at hearing you say the words, knowing that you were ready and comfortable enough to say them, making her heart melt even more. "Say it again," she whispers playfully, a small laugh escaping you, lips pressing against her briefly.

"I love you," you murmur, her lips stretching into an even bigger smile, "I love you so much Wanda Maximoff, you're all I ever want." She presses her lips back to yours, smiling into the kiss which causes you to as well, the both of you just smiling against each other, your face moving to the crook of her neck, her arms snaking around your waist to pull you closer, savouring the soft embrace.

[delilahsturniolo]

hii hiiii!!! before 2024 ends, i just wanted to say a few things and shout out a few special people!

i just wanted to say, this year was a huge year for me. my mental health improved so much, i made so many friends and achieved many goals i made for myself. i started this blog in july of this year and began to pursue my passion for writing, i didn’t expect to receive so much love for only my first piece of writing.

in a matter of months, i gained 1000+ followers and many mutuals on here, and i wrote over 50 fics, including a series. for me, tumblr feels like a second family, a place where i can yap and write about whatever without feeling uncomfy in the slightest. i lost a few friends, but i gained so many amazing ones on this platform, i fell in and out of love, and i learned a lot about myself and improved as a person. and i am so extremely grateful for all the support, i feel overwhelmed with love and i am so absolutely blessed to feel that way.

of course, i overcame many obstacles this year. whether it was completing something challenging for school, feeling negative about myself in some way, not feeling motivated to write or do anything at all, and more. whatever it was, i pushed through and overcame it, learning from those obstacles and mistakes i made, which was a huge improvement for me this year.

i am so grateful for all of you, thank you for supporting me and showing me so much love, i can’t even begin to express my gratitude, words cannot describe how much i love this community.

anyways, here are a few people that i wanted to shout out!

@mattscoquette — rylee!! you were the first person i followed and my inspiration to start my blog. i love yapping to you in your inbox, your presence on tumblr genuinely gives the community such a positive spark, i love you and i’m so glad to call you my mutual.

@bernardsbendystraws — roseeee omg, i’m not even kidding when i say i bust to all of your fics. you are an amazing person and i feel so comfortable talking to you, i love you so much, you are part of the reason why i started writing!

@phone4pills — PHORA MY HEARTT. i love you SO much it hurts me, every time i see a notification from you i moan out loud 😭 like genuinely you are so kind and fun to interact with, and omfg your au’s bring me to life. i love you!

@mattslolita — where do i even begin?? lilly you were one of my first tumblr friends :( you are genuinely so special to me, my heart feels so warm every time i talk and interact with you, thank you for being kind to me ilysm !!

@strnilolover — GABBYY!! i have said this before but your writing makes me fucking ascend into the heavens. i love your blog and i feel so comfortable knowing i can talk to you about anything ilyy!!

@mattsdolll — emmmaaa! your blog is the cutest ever :( u are seriously one of the sweetest people i know i wanna give you the biggest hug ever i love you so much!

@chrisweetheart — lia my love! i love you so so much, you’ve always supported me and i seriously appreciate you more than you know, you are so kind and sweet and special ily!!

@hearts4werka — VERAAAA! i LOVE interacting with you, you are so fun to talk to and your writing is absolutely incredible, you need to write a book asap. you have such a sweet soul and i love youuuu!

@st9rniolo — ryleigh, i can’t even make one of these without including you. you are so supportive on every single one of my creations and that means so much to me. you are truly so special to me and i love you !

@secretlocket — brie i love u sm :( you are the absolute cutest person ever, sunshine!reader is probably one of my favorite au’s ever without question. you and your whole blog just brings me sm joy!

@55sturn — star baby i love you with my whole heart. :( i look up to you so much, i actually let out the most bloodcurdling scream when i saw we were mutuals LOLL. anywayyy i luv uuuu !!

and most importantly, thank YOU! if you’re reading this, i appreciate you so much, more than you’ll ever know. and i’m talking about every single one of you. each and every single one of my anons, followers, mutuals, readers, absolutely everyone. i wouldn’t be where i am today without all of you. thank you for an amazing year, i hope everyone has a safe and healthy new year!!

[profound-bouquetbird]

Hello? I was wondering if you could write a scenario or headcanon that instead of goldheart- Miss Heed is obssesed with the reader instead? GN READER pls

Thanks :))

I'm going with headcanons since I am out of ideas for a scenario 🫡

Sorry that it's short 😔. I was on a rush to publish this because I had a burst of motivation that I didn't want it to fade

❥ Now, the outcome of everything really depends on if you're into her/the evil things she does. I'll start off with the genuine headcanons before writing the outcomes 🙏.

❥ Now, excuse my poor memory while I'm writing this because I didn't rewatch the Miss Heed episode religiously 😔.

❥ Like Goldheart, she just makes a long line of basically brainwashed zombies to gain followers to gain your attention. She does anything and everything to make sure you even spare her a glance.

❥ Whatever she does on camera is to gain your attention. The dances, the lip-syncing, whatever, it's so that you notice her.

Positive outcome:

❥ One of her videos just appeared on your feed randomly, but as the videos appear more frequently, you find yourself more and more attracted to her. Eventually, you go onto her profile and check out a couple of her stuff. Meanwhile, she gets the notification that someone viewed her profile, she expects it to be a simple brainwashed follower, but screams with joy once she sees your profile picture and username.

❥ After a couple of weeks of giddily giggling at her videos and admiring her beauty, you finally send her a message. It doesn't matter what you wrote, Miss Heed responds in a matter of seconds.

❥ Another couple of weeks of chatting and she coincidentally, she is visiting your town. You agreed to meet up, things go well, boom, somehow, you're dating. Doesn't matter how or why or who asked, you two were going to end up dating one way or another.

❥ Now, she can't just un-brainwash her followers... So, she just keeps them that way. Later on, you obviously find out and depending on if you like that or not... Well, you can imagine that for yourself.

Negative outcome:

❥ Before she could even send you a message, before she could even talk to you, you managed to find out she has been brainwashing innocent pedestrians and heroes and not so innocent villains... you can't help but feel unease and absolute disgust.

❥ She would at first try to desperately explain why she was doing this, what she wanted to achieve, but that doesn't really help her situation.

❥ Eventually, she would be sobbing, on her knees and at your feet, begging for forgiveness, telling you that everything she did was for you. That fact only made you feel even worse.

❥ You'll make her un-brainwash everyone, bringing her to the police and into jail. And she can't really go against your wishes, she loves you, does she not?

❥ Even after her imprisonment, you still feel an overwhelming amount of guilt and unease. Your mere presence got people into danger, who knows how many people around the world are don't the same thing Miss Heed is doing, if not worse.

[tekumaniac311]

A Dragon's Hunt: Part 3

Within the hour, Drago had taken a twin-seater SR jet to pickup Crafty and together the pair set off to the planet Sirhc was located. "So. You don't want to..lock him up?" Drago did not look at her "That's right, if you read the files you'll know someone like him needs to be put down." Crafty sighed "I did but..what if, i mean a big IF. This guy might be regretting all he did right now..?"

Drago just scoffed "I highly doubt it, he's too far in his delusions to think he did wrong, as soon as i find him and end him, that grudge will finally be over." Crafty just shook her head at her boyfriend. "You should at least think about this once we see him, please Drago..."

Not long, the two arrived at the planet Sirhc was currently living, it didn't take long to track him, he was walking his way home when Drago landed the twin-seater jet in front of him and stepped out, his face full of venom. "You"

"Magi-hun who is--" The guy couldn't finish as Drago roughly grabbed him "No! No more delusions!" Drago then punched Sirhc in the face before tossing him down, all while Crafty just looked to the side, worried. Sirhc slowly rose to his feet "Why the hostility?" Drago scoffed "You should KNOW why, you scum!! Overweight, lazy, pathetic and egotistic freak.."

"I'm not any of them, it's 'them' they've been ruining my life!" Sirhc wined "Some yes, but others you kept giving attention to, that lead to more humiliations and more incidents! You never once learned to just ignore, hell some tried to help you and what did you do..reject!" Drago roared, his pent up anger boiling.

Sirhc got up to his feet and slowly walked up "I..i am a deity, with lots of music and love in my heart!" he says right into Crafty's face, she covered her snout from the stench of Sirhc's breath, Sirhc then received a punch from Drago. "More like empty, filled with layer upon layers of nothing but FAT GREED!!"

"Guess your not reconnecting with your heart and soul enough--" Drago's anger boiled more "Reconnect?? To hell with you about reconnecting!" He picked him up by the collar "And then..that day, you should know it. Your own mother...HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!?!"

"It was to help her.." Sirhc spoke, still smiling with insanity "You ruined her life, you ruined many around you!" Sirhc slowly sank to his knees "I am a divine dimensional being with lots of soul.."

"Your a f#cking MONSTER..." Drago spat. Slowly, surely, Sirhc began to sniff, tears beginning to run down fast "You..I..You...No...your right...what have i done...I'm..a monster" He begins to bawl loudly while Drago looked in disgust, brandishing a small blue fireball he prepared to finally take his revenge but then, Crafty spoke.

"Drago? Let's go, he know's what he's done.." Drago's expression softened as he looked at her face, then back down at the weeping Sirhc, overwhelmed with guilt, realizing what kind of person he truly was. "Please...end me..." Sirhc whimpered.

Drago was silent, the fireball in his hand slowly vanished, taking a step back he turned away with Crafty following him.

"Drago..?" Craftycorn softly asked "You're right, there's nothing to be gained. I'll take you home..."

TO BE CONTINUED

AU by @onyxonline

Drago belongs to me

[no-less-than-a-god]

Narinder, through the Red Crown, had watched the Lamb fall to heretics, outnumbered and overwhelmed while already sporting wounds, with one of the small horns on their head snapped clean off. They had fallen with a crying bleat of surprise, caught off-guard by their own lifeforce being ripped from their body.

Now, they stand before The One Who Waits, brushing once-bloody hands against their red fleece with an air of unbotheredness, injuries and horn mended. Death, to the Lamb, is something they’ve long since come to embrace, and are long accustomed to the ethereal nature of the gateway.

“You will return to strike down the ones that have cut you down,” Narinder issues to the Lamb, and moves a hand to resurrect them safely back into the cult grounds.

“Wait!” the Lamb suddenly calls out, raising their splayed hands to their god in a show of impulsivity. Narinder stops, emaciated hand half-raised, and listens. Seeing his attention caught, the Lamb bows their head slightly as they continue speaking, a much quieter and mature volume this time, “I require assistance from you.”

The god leans closer to his vessel. “What do you seek, Lamb? How might your god help you?”

“I am but an ignorant, uneducated fool,” the Lamb proclaims, lifting their head and closing their eyes. Unbeknownst to them, Narinder’s eyes twitch at their words. “Two followers, a sow and a bear, approached me the other night seeking to be wed. To marry, as they said. I told them that I would handle all preparations and the responsibility to wed them, but I am at a loss, for I don’t know what they mean.”

“You seek knowledge,” Narinder summarizes. From either side of the Lamb, Baal and Aym perk up at hearing new words, and the god allows his disciples to learn along with his vessel. “You seek the meaning of marriage.”

“Marriage?” the Lamb parrots, and they open their eyes to furrow them curiously.

“Yes. Your followers wish to marry, to enter a marriage. This is done through a wedding, a type of celebration and mortal ritual to bind the two in spoken vows.”

“Is there a reason for marriage?” the Lamb asks. Narinder thinks, contemplating, before he chooses to reply.

“Many marry for love,” he starts. “Others marry for convenience, and some are forced into it by circumstances. There can exist many reasons for two to marry, but you must admit, it’s better to walk the earth with someone than alone, nay?”

The Lamb is silent, hand to their chin in thought. The One Who Waits allows them to think, and eventually, they look back up to meet their god’s eyes.

“I think I understand. When two want or need to share a binding of spoken vows, they throw a ritualistic celebration to bind themselves, so that they do not have to face the world alone.”

“In general, yes.”

“And what of weddings? How does one go about them?”

Narinder thinks. He wanders his own mind, faint memories fluttering against his skull. His ear twitches at them, neither nostalgic nor sentimental for them currently.

“That is something I can’t explain in a way that would assist,” is what he eventually explains to the Lamb, his hand inching towards them as a show of sincerity. Two small, hoofed hands place themselves on a bony finger in reassurance, and the god continues. “As various are the means of marrying, the ceremonies they bring are much more vast. It might be more beneficial to ask your followers upon your resurrection what they would wish to see in their own celebration, as the only requirement for a wedding is for those that wish to be wed to exchange spoken promises they vow to keep, and to complete the ritual with an act of mutual osculation.”

The Lamb bows their head again, hands clasping in front of them in the form of a prayer. “I have gained beneficial knowledge that will benefit the followers I cultivate for us. I thank you.”

“Is that all you seek from me upon this request, Vessel?” Narinder asks, straightening back to his true height. “I require you to ask of me more, if you seek need for it.”

“I have no additional need for now,” the Lamb replies. “I am ready to return to my flock. I have a wedding I need to prepare for, and to avenge myself against the heretics.”

“You will do well, Lamb,” Narinder speaks, and with a gesture of his hand, their form dissolves. Unspeaking, Baal and Aym resume their positions in front of their master, tails twitching in show of their own thoughts.

Closing his third eye, Narinder watches through his crown as the Lamb returns to their flock. They immediately seek the two they had spoken of before—the sow, and the bear—and they appear to speak excitedly to the Lamb before they turn away. Through the crown, he can hear the Lamb speaking, listing out a myriad of things to themself as they walk to the summoning circle at the entrance of the settlement, and pass it to head to the Darkwood portal.

A wedding. The Lamb will be kept on their toes to plan and execute it, with such little supplies. The cult has only existed for a century, after all.

A small, hidden part of Narinder, nestled away inside a wounded chest, wishes that he could be able to walk the earth again to assist his vessel. 

Maybe some day, that part of him whispers. An unrealistic dream, he thinks angrily. For how could he, if the only way he’ll be released from his chains is if the Lamb can defeat his siblings, and then lay down their life for him? It’s a shame, that Narinder cannot foresee the future. It’s a shame that he doesn’t know, doesn’t suspect, that one day, he will.

Happy (LATE) Valentine's Day! Slaps you with lore for my au

[natalyarose]

𝑅𝑒𝒻𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓉… (𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒮𝓊𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒾!)

~ This is a bit of a personal one lol, maybe I'm getting a little too comfy on tumblr- but hey, I like it here and I'm very grateful for everyone who's taken an interest in whatever I have to say :)

~ tagging this on Nakshatra tumblr because I feel like this reflection perfectly encapsulates Venus Nakshatras and is very aligned with the Sun moving into Bharani, the birth of Venus among the Nakshatras

// warning, cringe and angsty lmao

I have such an odd relationship with my artistic process. Unconventional? Stubborn. Sometimes just straight up bad lol.

I want to create beautiful, meaningful things, yet I have this sort of extreme resistance to being perfect or professionalism (however, somehow perfectionism and such a ruthless self-antagonism for not being 'enough' at the same time..).

It's almost like I purposely sabotage my art by intentionally leaving in mistakes, or leaving it somewhat dishevelled in protest of perfection. In hopes that the beauty and artistry still manages to shine through to the right people.

I guess it's also this thing where I feel like the imperfection makes art more unique, more exclusive- more personal & dearly held to the people who do find the beauty in it that I initially wanted to communicate. But, there is a difference between artsy, grungy, rawness and... just being crap, lazy, unrefined, undisciplined. (I'd never refer to someone else's work in this way but myself... mann).

Knowing full well that my artistic creation likely 'needs work', is not a finished product and will very likely be criticised for its' imperfection, I still have the overwhelming urge to go ahead and share it with the world/post it. In all of its' messy (again, maybe just straight up bad lol) glory. Then I wonder why I'm not gaining the traction I want haha. When I inevitably receive criticism, I get so hurt by it, I beat myself up and it eats at me to the point that I can't sleep at night, I'm up reciting the criticisms in my head and weaving them into my very own nightmare!

I don't understand why I do this to myself lmao. Later on after posting & putting myself out there, I hear that imperfection in the song, I hear those vocal parts I stubbornly left in and didn't want to redo, I see the dodgy brush strokes I refused to fix up in the name of authenticity, and I cringe. In fact, I feel such a deep shame for it all that I take everything down out of embarrassment. Even though it was fully my decision to put up something amateur sounding and imperfect.

Maybe it's something like the weight of desire for perfection is too much, so I just go 'to hell with it!'.

It's like an endless cycle for me, and I realise that over the years, if I'd just left things up online and was more patient with myself, I'd probably have cultivated a following of some sort by now, or maybe used peoples' criticisms to improve the art to a greater extent. I mean, there are people who have mentioned to me when they notice the art is imperfect and needs work, but there are just as many lovely people who have gone totally out of their way to express deep appreciation for the music/art I've put out and enjoyed it.

Here's my 'theory' as to why I do this to myself: when I create art, I don't just want to make pretty things, though I want that too. I want to be loved, and FELT. I want to bring people to this raw, vulnerable place in my heart where my ideas emerge from. I want to be loved not in spite of the imperfections, but alongside them, all encompassing.

I don't want to have to be perfect, have $1000 worth of equipment, hours and hours of recording time trying to 'get it right' in order to be understood and deemed beautiful. I don't want to show off how perfect or skilled I am either, I want to make people feel something. I want it natural.

r a w.

I kinda enjoy for art to be unfinished and slightly unpalatable on purpose.

Maybe it's a bit of entitlement on my part, expecting that even if I do a mediocre job, people will still enjoy it and see my 'talents'/message.

Truth be told though, that's how I love other people, how I enjoy others' art as well, it's not just something with me.

When I listen to artists I love, I adore seeing something beautiful, yet somehow messy and jarring. A sort of underground-esque, 'wild feminine' creation. It evokes that much more feeling and passion that something designed to be perfect just lacks to me.

I can't get into a lot of bands that are considered 'objectively good' by many people because they just sound too perfect to me- There's a lot of times I come across artists that sound technically good, very clean but my heart just can't get into it. I find myself listening and thinking 'I wish this was recorded on a toaster', or 'I wish there was a more rough sound to the vocals' lol, I crave the rawness & intimacy that imperfection and roughness lends.

Ugh, it all creates such an internal conflict- like I want my art to be seen, to be loved yet I somewhat reject things it takes for the art to be considered objectively good & well rounded.

The harsh reality might just be that just because I see the beauty in imperfection, just because I know I've got this personal, very niche vision of what 'good' sounds like/looks like in my mind, that doesn't mean other people are going to find value in the same things.

Of course, maybe all of this is just pretentious excuses & my own self-hatred manifested (I don't actively hate myself, I try to be much kinder to myself these days but yknow)

Anyway, I realised that it's the start of Bharani season in galactic centre mid-mula Ayanamsa today & I think this write up really aligns with that.

Thankyou for reading lol.. again, a bit of an angsty personal thing but maybe it could be relevant to someone, if y'all wanna know what Venusian artistic angst looks like in real time lmao 🖤🥀

[jeanclamence]

The Genuine Feeling of Being

By Jean-Clamence (me)

I am only a spectator in my life. I believe my real self, my genuine form, my purest state of being, my unbearably simple existence, to be constantly still, watching two separate halves of myself with individual intellect and intelligenee scream contrasting ideologies and opposing judgements at each other. They criticise one another, and I sit silently on the sidelines, thinking; 'I wish I could be so freely, so imprudently and recklessly unaware of myself. I want to flee from my mind, to escape this overwhelming, repulsive hope, this fake and inauthentic living. We gained this plaguing, so-called self-consciousness, this afflicting greed for avarice and success, these stuffy cities, these nations agonized by war, this excruciating act of introspect through evolution, and I wish we hadn't.' The worst is that I am forced to agree with it, to stride with it, to live a double-life, and to mechanically utter words of affirmation as though I exist as no more than an ostensibly convoluted—yet beneath the surface and the gradually withering facade of illusions, blind and brainless—system of cogs. I doze off in my waking and stir in sleep with my eyes thrown wide open.

As I 'live', one side of me contemplates stratagems to create a flourishing business in order to acquire wealth. However, that is only among many subjects; I think of arithmetic, physics, biology, and politics as well. As I "rest", the other whispers in my ear that I am entirely wrong about everything I have ever known. "It is insignificant! It is troubling!" It tries to convince me, hovering over me without a discernible, definite form in its nearly palpable, black haze similar to the shadow of Jack the Ripper, as if it has followed his footsteps and clung closely onto his naked feet like a loyal apprentice.

"No, you fool, it is troubling because it is impactful!" Its enemy shrieks as it departs from a train which travelled from a desolate station of emptiness to meet us. This half is white and is apparently, based on its accounts of itself, a harborer of virtue, clarity, and true strength.

"To them, not to you. And, even if it, let us suppose, impacts you in a way, why should you care?"

"You must abide by ... , ... , and so on, and so forth, otherwise you will be exiled." It argues with the other.

"But is that not what he needs?"

"Just as you cannot avoid the thick coverage of your own skin, you cannot avoid pain. Exile is not an escape, you must be aware of that! You have witnessed how he behaves in exile and abandonment. In those moments, we are alone with him, and—"

"And the effects are horrible?" It smiles malignantly and bends its neck comically as an exaggerated display of curiousity.

"And that is precisely where we agree, possibly even the only point on which we agree." It says solemnly.

Shaking my head, I interrupt them; "I'm not sure about that. You frequently discuss and convey your interests for me, and it is a common implication between the two of you that you want me to be blind. Both of you want me to be blind for the sake of seeing reality."

"Choose between us, and see what kind of life you earn. We have merely vouchsafed you ideas. Whether you castigate yourself and gloat over them or do that which is contrary, and carry them over into reality by converting them into physical acts, is entirely up to you. At your hour of death, announce to us whether you feel blind or edified, we will be waiting."

Silence is found in found in neither third-person nor first-person. After embarking on aimless pursuits over and over, I only discover the repetitive bizarreness of everything. Now, I must shut my eyes and drown it out.

[briefhottubcoffee]

And I am lost in the icy stillness, in the embers of your gaze

🎊🎁🎄🎅☃️🥂

I had the honor of hosting and participating in a holiday gift exchange with a few lovely, awesome, super talented people in this amazing fandom! It's now time to share everything with you! 🥳🎉

Unfortunately, not everyone has a tumblr, so in fairness, I will only share my fic here. I encourage you to check out my twitter thread (Ugh! Twitter! I know! If I could just punch one person... it'd be Elon probably.) which will include every one's postings as they share, all in one place. These lovelies took time out of their busy lives to create something so amazing for someone else, and I think that's a truly special, beautiful thing. I can't thank them enough, for participating and indulging in my idea! There is some amazing content, from fics to art to a freaking book!, that you won't want to miss! 💕

As for me, my fic is NSFW, with a few spicy scenes. Post mission and post retirement, Loid and Yor escape to a secluded cabin for a wondrous, winter getaway. ❄️🥂

I hope you enjoy! Please accept this fic as my humble thank you, to you, for your kindness, follows, comments, kudos, etc. A year ago I was simply trying to gain confidence in myself, I was going to stay anonymous and post an occasional fic, I was constantly stressed no one would read or like my stuff. Now I have made friends, I have struck up conversations with so many amazing people from all over the world, and talented folks have even created amazing art for me, or for my writings. 🥹 It has brought me such joy this year, I can't say this enough. I think of how much my life has changed this year, from this silly manga, and I am truly overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude. I hope to chat with more of you next year, as we create and consume more from SpyxFamily! Thank you! Happy Holidays! 🎁☃️🎊🫶

[allisonbaelfire]

Amethyst. - PART 5

The day of the UA Sports Festival had finally arrived. We, the students of Class 1-A, were waiting together in a meeting room, filled with a mix of anticipation and tension. This was the moment we had all been preparing for, and the atmosphere was charged with unspoken competition.

Shoto turned to Izuku Midoriya, breaking the silence. “I think it’s objectively clear that I am much stronger than you, right?” he said, his voice calm and measured, his eyes cold and focused.

Izuku stammered, his eyes widening in surprise and intimidation. He gave a hesitant nod, clearly out of his depth.

“But I believe that All Might has taken a special interest in you, hasn’t he?” Shoto continued. “I don’t intend to delve into that, but I will defeat you,” he said seriously, his tone unwavering.

Bakugo turned sharply, his eyes narrowing as he clenched his teeth, clearly irritated by the exchange.

Denki leaned closer to Eijiro, “That was a declaration of war from the strongest in the class.”

I stood up, feeling an urge of protecting Midoriya. “I don’t think my brother is the strongest in the class,” I said, my voice steady as I walked between Izuku, who was too shocked to speak, and Shoto. Katsuki’s gaze followed me intently, with curiosity and challenge.

“If anything, he should try to defeat me first instead of intimidating someone else to make himself look bigger,” I retorted, staring directly at Shoto, my eyes challenging him to respond.

Eijiro stepped forward, placing a firm hand on Shoto’s shoulder. “Don’t start a fight right before it begins,” he advised, his voice calm but firm, trying to diffuse the situation.

Shoto’s expression tightened, he was about to say something, but when he met my gaze, he seemed to reconsider. Shoto knew it was better not to continue, as otherwise, I would become his opponent for the day.

“We’re not here to make friends, so who cares,” Shoto responded coldly, turning to leave the room.

Just then, Izuku found the courage to step forward. “Shoto, I don’t know why you’re telling me you’ll defeat me. You’re clearly superior to me. Most people probably can’t match your Quirk; that’s just the objective truth,” Izuku said, his voice trembling slightly but gaining strength. “But everyone here seriously wants to reach the top. Including me.”

I was impressed by Izuku’s words and how bravely he stood up to my brother. It was clear to me that Shoto’s declaration to Izuku was nothing more than his way of aiming to surpass All Might without using the fire side of our father. Since Izuku was close to All Might, it was clear to Shoto that Izuku would be his opponent today.

_____________

The festival had finally arrived. The stadium was buzzing with excitement, and the air was charged with anticipation. It was an event for everyone, drawing in massive crowds from all walks of life. Students from all courses gathered to witness the spectacle, and we, the students of the first classes of the UA, were anxiously waiting to learn what the first event would be.

I glanced around, noticing the sheer number of viewers. It was overwhelming to see so many people gathered to watch us compete. As I scanned the crowd, my eyes locked onto my family. My sister Fuyumi and my brother Natsuo were cheering enthusiastically, their smiles full of encouragement. In contrast, my father, Endeavor, stood in his hero costume, leaning against the wall near the exit, with a stern expression.

Ms. Midnight stepped up to the podium, her commanding presence capturing everyone's attention. The murmurs and whispers among the students died down as she began to speak.

"Welcome to the UA Sports Festival!" she announced, her voice echoing through the stadium. "This event is not just a test of your Quirks and abilities, but also a showcase of your determination, strategy, and heroism. It's a chance for you to shine and demonstrate what you're truly capable of to the world."

She paused, letting the weight of her words sink in before continuing. "The first event is an obstacle course that will test your agility, speed, and quick thinking. You'll face a series of challenges, including navigating through difficult terrains, combating mechanical opponents, and evading attacks from other participants."

Ms. Midnight's eyes gleamed with excitement as she outlined the rules. "But before we begin, let's hear a few words from the student who achieved the highest scores in Class 1: Katsuki Bakugo."

Bakugo stepped forward, his expression serious. The crowd fell silent, all eyes on him.

Bakugo took the microphone and, with an unbothered look in his eyes, he declared, "I'm gonna win."

His words hung in the air, and the audience erupted into a mix of cheers and murmurs. Many were shocked by his blunt arrogance, while some of us in Class 1-A exchanged knowing glances. We expected nothing less from Bakugo.

"Well, there you have it!" Ms. Midnight said, trying to maintain her enthusiasm despite the unexpected brevity of Bakugo's speech. "Let the festival begin!"

_____________

As the starting signal blared, Shoto immediately generated a massive ice structure at the entrance, intending to slow down the other competitors. This tactic worked on everyone —except me. Immune to Shoto's ice, which was not nearly as cold as mine, I sprang into action.

Wasting no time, I activated my Quirk, summoning my Ice Flames to create a series of icy platforms. These platforms allowed me to glide effortlessly over treacherous terrain and could also be used as protection, if someone tried to attack me.

Half-and-half bastard!” Katsuki Bakugo’s voice rang out, full of rage. “Your ice won’t stop me!” He blasted through Shoto’s ice with his explosions, determined not to be slowed down. Despite his anger, I was oddly relieved that he had given me a much nicer nickname with “Frostburn.”

I felt the rush of adrenaline as I controlled the formation speed of the ice. With precision, I adjusted the rate at which the platforms formed, ensuring I could quickly adapt to the changing environment of the obstacle course. The purple hue of my flames contrasted vividly with the icy blue surfaces I created, making my path both efficient and visually striking. I noticed Shoto doing the same with his ice, creating a slide to speed through the course.

"Watch out, Y/N!" Kirishima's voice cut through the noise as he barreled past me, his body hardened and ready for impact.

I nodded, appreciating his warning. Just ahead, spotting an incoming barrage of icy rocks – thanks Shoto. With a swift motion, I created an icy barrier, shielding myself from the falling rocks. I glanced over at Kirishima, who gave me a thumbs-up before charging forward.

“You know we’re actually rivals, right?” I asked Ejiro with a smile.

As I progressed through the course, mechanical opponents emerged, challenging us with relentless attacks. Facing them head-on, I let my hands blaze with lilac flames. Skillfully, I formed icy projectiles, launching them at my foes with pinpoint accuracy.

"Nice shot!" Denki called out, zapping a nearby robot with his electricity. He grinned at me before dashing off to tackle another target.

Each projectile I launched struck true, shattering upon impact and disabling the mechanical adversaries. My movements were a blend of grace and power, showcasing my proficiency in combat and the seamless integration of my Quirk into my fighting style.

The competition was fierce, and other participants occasionally targeted me to gain an advantage. Anticipating their moves, I conjured sturdy ice barriers to shield myself. The strength and hardness of the ice varied, tailored to withstand the intensity of the incoming attacks while maintaining the flexibility to quickly counter.

I noticed my hands growing increasingly numb. Since we weren’t allowed to use any items and didn’t have our hero costumes, I had no gloves and was fully exposed to the effects of my Quirk.

"Try and keep up, Frostburn!" Bakugo yelled as he blasted past me, his explosions propelling him forward.

I smirked, enjoying the challenge. "Just watch, Bakugo," I muttered under my breath. As he launched an explosive attack towards me, I quickly raised an ice barrier, absorbing the blast and sending a flurry of icy shards in his direction. He dodged, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

After the robots, the next section required us to cross a deep chasm. The sight of the vast gap was intimidating, but I didn't let it faze me. I knew exactly how to handle this.

Activating my Quirk, I summoned my Ice Flames, creating a series of icy bridges and platforms.

As I formed the first bridge, I noticed Bakugo nearby, "Move it, Frostburn!" he shouted, propelling himself forward with explosions from his hands. He was aggressive, but his eyes showed a grudging respect as he acknowledged my ice formations helping him find footing before he used his quirk to fly.

Midway through the chasm, I saw Kirishima behind me struggling to find a safe path. His hardened body was perfect for defense but not ideal for crossing the chasm. "Need a hand?" I called out, while moving an ice platform to him.

He glanced at me, his expression filled with gratitude. "Thanks, Rival!" He chuckled as he holds onto the platform.

After he was safely on the other side, I froze Ejiro a bit to slow him down, a girl must win.

The next section was a minefield. They want to eliminate us, don’t they? Activating my Quirk, I summoned my Ice Flames, creating a series of icy platforms that hovered just above the ground.

As I formed the first platform, I noticed Bakugo nearby, his face twisted in determination and frustration.  “Frostburn! You’re in my damn way!" he shouted, propelling himself forward with explosions from his hands.

"Watch your step, Bakugo," I retorted, attempting to freeze him in place with a quick burst of my Ice Flames. He dodged with an explosive blast, evading my attack with ease.

Midway through the minefield, I saw Shoto using his ice to create slides, smoothly gliding over the dangerous terrain. Our eyes met briefly, a silent understanding passing between us. Despite the competition, we were siblings, at least some sort of bond between us.

Izuku was using his intelligence, instead of his quirk, to navigate the minefield, carefully analyzing the safest routes and using his agility to leap over the mines with precision.

With each step, I carefully adjusted the formation speed of my ice platforms, ensuring they remained stable and didn't trigger the mines below. The pressure was intense, but my experience had prepared me for such challenges.

Despite being head on with Shoto most of the time, I chose not to finish in the top three. Partly because I wanted to give others the chance to shine, and partly because I hoped it would improve my relationship with Shoto if I didn’t win.

In the final stretch, Izuku surged ahead, crossing the finish line first with a triumphant leap. Shoto followed closely, his face showing clear frustration, both at Izuku and at himself for not securing first place. Katsuki was third, his explosive power propelling him across the line, visibly angry and frustrated with his placement. I crossed the finish line moments later and secured fourth place.

_____________

Walking off the field, I spotted my classmates gathering and talking excitedly about their experiences. I noticed Shoto standing apart, as usual. Taking a deep breath, I approached him.

"Shoto," I called out, my voice steady. He turned to face me, his expression neutral.

He looked at me, his frustration evident. “Thanks,” he muttered, then turned and walked away, clearly still upset.

I sighed and turned my attention to Katsuki, noticing him struggling with his arms. He cursed under his breath, his face contorted with pain. It was clear that using his Quirk so intensely had taken a toll on him.

Concerned, I went over to him. “Bakugo, are you okay?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

He glared at me, but the pain in his eyes was undeniable. “What do you want, Frostburn?” he snapped, clutching his arms.

“Let me help,” I said, ignoring his harsh tone. “Your arms look like they’re in bad shape.”

He hesitated for a moment, then reluctantly nodded. “Fine, but don’t think this means I need your help.”

I smiled slightly. “Of course not, Bakugo. Just consider it a temporary truce.”

Gently, I reached out and examined his arms, using my Quirk to cool them down and provide some relief. “You need to be more careful,” I advised softly. “Pushing yourself too hard can have serious consequences.”

He grumbled something under his breath but didn’t pull away. As I worked, I could feel the tension between us easing slightly, if only for a moment. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

[signalterminated]

Vore (the song) in relation to the comic thoughts below the cut

Many of Vore's lyrics are very interesting in hindsight given the climax of the graphic novel, where the Director hallucinates his squadron and enters the reaper's embrace. Namely:

Follow me between the jaws of fate So I can have you to myself for once

In this case the jaws of fate are represented by the reaper, which devours him and sinks with his body beneath a dark pool. He's willfully consumed by what he saw as an inevitable outcome. It's almost like the song is taking the perspective of the Director or the entity itself. It craves humanity.

So let's get swallowed whole I want to go where nobody else will ever go

There's a sense of complete submission in the lyrics that's further emphasized in this comic book. There's no point in fighting change anymore no matter how much it terrifies him -- and if he can't fight the tide, then he might as well accept the potential it can bring, both good and bad.

Some of the lyrics are even more obvious, like:

You have become the voice in my head Only recourse we're left after death Your viscera welcome me in Welcome me in

At the end of the novel this is literally what happens. Sleep (or whatever entity this is) has entered the Director's head and their consciousness is now conjoined but not seamless. You can see in the writing that the Director is fighting to retain even a sliver of himself in the onslaught of that otherworldly presence that's quickly overwhelming his limited human mind. Which brings us to this next lyric:

Your flesh and bone welcome me in Welcome me in (Are you in pain like I am?)

The Director has been welcomed into the fold yet he can't help but wonder if it's hurting just as much as he is. This thing, whatever it is, has been abandoned by god. Which god is a mystery; it could mean Sleep, it could mean another deity altogether, we're not given a concrete answer. All we know is that it's hungry and desperate to establish connections, to keep glutting itself on human emotions like fear so it can spread out to other stars and grow.

It's like a hellish invasive weed sucking up human consciousness and gaining sentience the more it infests. There's something terrifying in that but also something deeply sad. It's been spurned by its creator for being ugly and unwanted and all it can do is act out in accordance with its own nature. There's nothing innately malicious in that desire, as much as it destroys, and that's a key part of many cosmic horror stories: the force that exterminates humanity often isn't aware of what it's doing any more than a virus or bacteria. It simply is.

[sweetswesf]

Today, a new grad on my shuttle stop expressed that she was stressed. She asked how I liked my new team and was thinking of transferring to a new one. I offered I could help anytime she wanted me to. She said she would reach out. At times I feel ashamed for not having been able to finish out the year with my last team, but it’s stuff like this that reminds me regardless of where God takes me, it’s for a goal and he can always use me at whatever stage I’m at. I’m set up to help her out.

Additionally, today, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I went in to work today and I finally feel like I’m getting back in focus. I’m grateful to be on this team. It feels like a good fit. The best blessing is waking up every day without the immediate overwhelming of stress knowing I would have to interact with a manager and teammates who hated me and thought I was dumb and wanted to get rid of me as my last team did.

Despite not being required to deliver real work right now, I have been taking really good notes. I have been focusing on practicing the main function of my team which is sending a few messages and doing my reading on the goals and objectives of my team, group, department, and side of the business. In this has been reading team charters and attending onsites. Knowing why the heck I’m doing what I am doing technically will help me fit the pieces together and help my BS meter: if something seems contrary to the plans established during planning, I can better tell the health of our side, if someone is lying, if we’re making bet, if we’re needing to throw a Hail Mary, etc. It also just feels good being able to follow the money and objective behind what I’m building to grow my strength of weighing the pros and cons of different approaches to solving a technical problem.

The next phase of my prep will be focusing on diving deep technically. Should I have started there first since I’m a software engineer? Perhaps, but I did a bit, stepped away to look at the forest, and now I can rerun to the trees. I know I mostly attend non-technical meetings with the product teams, so being able to speak their language is key. I won’t have as much time to do that when I’m deep in the weeds in tech, so I’m building the foundation now so I can gain credibility and influence with them since most of my time going forward will be deep in the weeds in tech. Often the business side gets neglected and I don’t want to rely on just the PMs to communicate the business details to me, because they be leaving things out, often unintentionally, because they don’t know what we need to know to build. Because there is a lack of them, they are always busy and sometimes leave critical details that we needed to build out and try to demand we build them last minute. By reading these charters, I hope I am growing my muscle of anticipating the types of challenges and business things I need to build for.

Aside from that, I’m going to resume the study schedule I planned to do daily after work that I set as my resolutions for this year and got so distracted from. YouTube, Pinterest, and Netflix are just too damn expensive for me to be on these days and I have to become detached from watching content on them as frequently as I do. It’s never too late to get back in focus though. There’s still one more month of the year so that I can practice for next year. It sucks that there are so many breaks though that will impact my ability to stay focused on my schedule, but that’s life, and I can’t expect to always be able to control all of my schedule, because that is not life. I need to be more flexible to ensure that I get this study time in. It will be long and feel like nothing for a while, but a little every day will help me go far.

Sidebar: what’s up with people watching videos on their phones on public transit without earplugs!? 🤨🤨🤨 I’m not talking about the regulars that typically do this, I’m talking about people with no presumed mental instability who are also not adolescents. Japanese public transit culture is what we need to adopt, in addition to other parts of their etiquette…