#i am only human and cant help but be sad about my ship

[allthestories]

Listen the ending of Great Expectations is sad for Pip that’s the whole point and we know the ending of Thorns was originally much sadder.

All I’m saying is if in that original draft we got a true retelling with a Fairstairs ending?

A win is a win.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I'm back on my silly goofy haha bullshit once more. [This time with itward]

Itward with a reader who likes to make bread and tend to plants, maybe they make flower crowns and gifts for itward like bread and plant related things! [A basket made out of dead grass or handmade paper/books! Paper can be made from a bunch of weeds and just plants in general mixed with baking soda and boiled!]

Make sure to take time to rest, get water and eat something, such as a snack! :D

Itward x reader who bakes and does plant stuff !

LETS GO ITWARD FANS WE EATING TONIGHT!!!!!

God I'm so so sad that fran bow and little misfortune is.. not that popular <\3 or at least doesnt have a huge active fanbase

Which sucks because it deserves the attention! The game is amazing and did a lot for me growing up (comfort media am I right?) And you can tell the creators put so so so much passion into the games

Also itward pretty

Honestly until we are confirmed otherwise, I like to think that everyone returned to ithersta after the end of the game... and until more content comes out (iirc they are working on a DLC bonus chapter! Dont quote me on that !!) And disproves that, I am going to believe that itward raises fran in ithrsta

Anyways

Whether the reader is human or from a different reality, they're here in ithersta, too! Plus I think that's the most fitting place given the prompt :0

You and itward love baking together, often exchanging recipes and sharing tips on how to get the best product!

Imagine you two start a garden in order to be more self sufficient! Berries and veggies (get creative with the bread flavors!!!!) and the like are grown in your garden as well as some herbs and such! As well as other general plants that may be needed for whatever; potions, ointments, ect!

Plus itward just seems to be the type to be as self sufficient as possible, doesn't tend to buy things unless it's something he truly cant produce on his own..

Very friendly but asides from Fran, mr midnight, palontras, ziar, and the great wizard, and even cogwing, I dont think itward speaks to many people, given his introverted nature... at least according to the character sheet KMGs posted a few months ago!

Keeps every single piece of paper you've made for him. Compiling them all into multiple books! Keeps all his books in a little shelf he built in his ship... they're all kept neat, tidy, and dusted!

Ooouuugh he looooves when you make him flower crowns, loves slipping them around his hat and letting them rest on the brim of it

Dries out the crowns so he can preserve them for as long as possible... adds them to the main area of his flying ship, where the little shadow theatre thing is!

No thoughts only you two in the garden and he tucks a flower behind your ear.. looks at you with so so much love

You think his eyes can get all huge? Like cat eyes? Because I think so... his eyes get all round when he looks at you

Full of love

Okay back to the baking portion of this because I'm kind of neglecting it a bit, I feel

Theres nothing sweeter than baking something with your loved one, and enjoying your team work and company

I think you guys would have music softly playing in the background while you both work together

Maybe I want to rewatch fried green tomatoes, but you guys end up having a lighthearted food fight

Completely out of character for itward, but I think you can spark this silliness in him

Plus despite what the suit may imply, I think itward doesnt mind getting dirty... I mean he literally is an engineer! Bro probably gets greasy sometimes! Please help him clean the crevices between his bones

... that's another idea I absolutely adore and have talked about ^^^

Hold his hand and help him clean between his bones, please please he'd be so still and patient

[miusato]

I was wondering, do you have a ranking for Kotone ships? I assume Shinjiham is number 1, but I'm curious since you mentioned you liked them all

HMMMM maybe? I mean like I pretty much like all kotone ships since I'm biased and I like her althoughhh honestly some ships I just see more on platonic side but I salute anyone that ships her with a rare pair (provided its just not something entirely weird or borderline illegal lol)

Anyway, here's pretty much my ranking and thoughts for each ships lol:

1) Shinjiham - First of all, god Atlus doesnt FUCK AROUND with his SL route and it's so out of their fucking mind for Atlus to not let the girlies write for the romances in other persona ever again cuz WHAT THE FUCK???? They really fucking cook with his and Ryoji's SL its fucking sweet yet so tragic I just cant fucking take it anymoreeee 😭😭😭 and it fucking hurts me that even when you ended up not dating him, you can clearly see just how in love he is with Kotone like fuck man it hurtss

I am just such a sucker for the broody bf x cheery gf trope but they had me in my tits when they laced it with angst it had me bawling by the end of it. I really appreciate how in femc's route we finally get to see his true character like god before P3R we really only know him as that mean looking guy with a tragic broody past and he tries to make things right before its too late but we dont also see him trying to be better other than tiny mentions of it so when he is gone we dont feel bad other but P3P hooo boyyy shits fucked me up I miss him I miss my wife and even when I get to save him, even when he finally gains the reason to survive and have meaning to live, when the person that gives him that reasoning is gone, it fucking hits me like a truck man and that truck decides to reverse and run me over again. Absolutely spectacular shipping 11/10 dont fucking do that ever again Atlus I have inherited hypertension from my dad

2) Akiham - This is actually my initial otp before I blasted and fried my brain with foolmoon content. I was actually surprised to see this side of Aki where instead of him looking like he gets thing under control and cool all the time, he is just so clueless socially and every rank of him had me go "Holy shit he's autistic he's just like me frrrrr" like I didnt expect him to have awful social cues like me hskskssksk I also love how really cute the entire rank is like this boy is 18 and never dated anyone yet he is so sweet and thoughtful I almost forgot he probably learned this from the seventeen magazine in his room lmfaoo I love them they're the most tamed yet cute pair but also bittersweet and sad thinking that he lost everyone that he loves even after he proclaimed he will protect her ugh im in painnn

3) Theoham - I love how silly the entire route is! Its fun and relaxed and oh god what is up with everyone with white hair has autism in this game??? His lines are fucking bonkers it had me in tears and I cant even believe this man also manage to make me feel things about exposing one's hand after seeing it gloved for so long. Again Atlus please let the girlies cook again for the new persona i am begging you

4) Hamugis - idk if it was Atlus intention or not to make her pan but god I love this so much! Her entire route is her adjusting to being human and gaining human emotion gradually and I just really think its so beautiful when she said she doesnt even care if Kotone's a girl or a man she will still love her (Im sure she really meant it to be platonic and she pretty much mixed romantic and platonic but also that confession at the roof doesnt help at all I genuinely think she's in love with femc) and towards the end when she cried I can hear how human she is briefly like oh god I cant believe Atlus invented yuri

5) Yukaham - they're besties and she mentioned she wants a bf before okay whatever BUT I just refuse to believe she's into men honestly and she probably just wants a bf because thats what she believes girls should be (like obsessing over boys and such) and shes a girly girl so she should like boys, right?

Im not forcing anyone my HC at all so just ignore this if you want. Im writing this because the worm in my brain tells me to do it and i am also projecting myself here but like I just like the idea of Yukari feels conflicted about her sexuality because she's a girly girl and her liking girls doesnt fit the status as a girly girl but when she meets Kotone and she is feminine and likes girls stuff too but also a tomboy and doesnt really care much about the identity of being a girly girl and finds herself enamored towards her, she admits to her one day that she's having conflicted feelings about her and the other girls she finds oddly attracted to and Kotone's probably like "You should try to kiss me and see if you feel anything about it" and AKXHEIQPAUSQPAJQL oh god the thought of Yukari not knowing she's a lesbian and struggling to accept her identity as a lesbian is just so AAAAAAA i need more Yukaham content maybe I should draw them together

6) Mitsuham - I totally understand people's vision with Mitsuham. Actually at this point, you guys can see how Kotone brings impact to everyone in the team and towards the end of the game, everyone either finds a meaning to live or finally able to open up to each other but anyway shhh lets ignore the overall grim lore of this game and just focus on Mitsuru as a person instead. I really love the idea that Kotone introduce a lot of new things to Mitsuru since despite how rich and influential she can be, due to the responsibility and burden she has to hold at a very young age, she didnt get to experience what life is as a normal teenage girl so I just love the thought of Kotone teaches her what it feels to be a normal teenage girl like and gives her a glimpse of what it feels if she wasn't a Kirijo in the first place. Again, just a HC but like I think it would be so fun of Kotone and Mitsuru just sneaks out at night after she convinces her to forget her responsibility for a moment and loiters around town until it's the dark hour and Mitsu just freaks out because she was too distracted by having fun and being distracted by her duty and she was like I cant afford being normal, not in this world and not when she bears the name of Kirijo and oh god did I accidentally turn this into angst???? ANYWAYS yes I understand Mitsuham

7) Ryoham - Okay I have to admit, as much as bittersweet and tragic their whole relationship is (like the fuck as going on in Atlus' HQ when they wrote "Please touch me. Make sure I exist." Like ????) I'm just not into Ryoji much because of a personal reason but also like I love it when people draw them in an alternate universe where they meet again like I really believe in another life, they really do would fall for each other again ;w;

8) Juntone - Honestly I just see them as platonic but I saw this one Juntone shipper on twt before and I cant stop thinking of them whenever I have to think of this pair. Like okay shh imagine if Kotone isnt dead in the end but both of them still lost Chidori and Shinji, I know they both understands the pain but like if lets say they find confort in each other and down the line they do fall in love, I just think its really beautiful. Maybe not immediately but when years later theyre reunited and open up about their grief and still having a hard time to move on, I know they would clung on to each other just to feel absolutely alright because nobody can understand the circumstances they fall into.

Anyway, that's pretty much my ranking. I really do love and understand why people would love her with other pairing like I am all game but the ones I am pretty much very obsessed with is Shinjiham and Akiham while the others are more of an afterthought to me.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

[darkleysgarden]

It Will Be Okay

Originally posted June 12th 2022 (Now November 11th)

I am posting all of my old fics onto here so that I can make an official masterlist

Requested by Scratchingmyass (She wanted it first person, so it is.)

Warnings: Self-harm (scratching), Night terror/nightmare, past major character death (Lilith), slight gore

Ship: Dialuci

Type: Hurt/Comfort | Angst

Words: 1168

Summary: Lucifer has been having bad nightmares ever since his sister passed away.

Luckily Diavolo is here to help.

I woke up with my heart beating impossibly fast.

Every chance at breath became a futile attempt, no air officially entering or leaving my exhausted form.

I didn't feel like I was at home. I wasn't in my room anymore.

Lilith was right in front of me.

Lilith was falling. Her hair flew around her in wild waves. Bright blonde contrasing the dark skies behind her.

Lilith was wounded. Blood bubbled and oozed out of her stomach, far too much was seeping out of her for anything to be alright.

Lilith was dying.

.

.

.

I fell

I was falling just as she had been.

I wasn't fast enough. My wings weren't moving fast enough to catch up with her dead weight. They gave up trying, pain becoming too unbelievable.

I land beside her.

I hold her delicate form in my arms, wondering where I went wrong. Her long hair was perfectly framing her face. And she was smiling. Why was she smiling? Couldn't she see she was dying? Tears ran down my face. She was becoming blurry. Tears ran down her face too. But she was smiling.

How could she be smiling at a moment like this!? I placed my hand against her cheek. She was becoming cold. Why was it so cold out? Her skin was icy to the touch. Blood dripped from the corner of her mouth. It trailed slowly down the outline of her jaw. Dripping onto her sleevless shoulders. Her state was terrible. Arrows were shot through her stomach. One shot in a very vital organ. Her wings were drenched in blood and agony. The war had been hard for everybody. I was worried everyone wouldn't make it out alive. Whether it be Mammon, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, or God forbid Lilith.

Someone wasn't going to make it.

It was inevitable. Why did it have to be Lilith? The beautiful young girl who fell into the worst kind of forbidden love. The same girl who could put a smile on anyone's face. Cheering up all her older brother's whenever the day's got too rough. The girl who had shiny long hair the ran down to her feet. It would glisten in rain and sun. Making everyone around her curious as to how she kept it so nice. Even if she could be a handful, a troublemaker like Mammon and Belphie had, she was still my sister. My only sister.

Her hand reached up to my face, tremors ran through her body. This only reminded me of her sad state. My tears ran harder. Sobs choking the words I wouldn't have been able to say either way. She brushed my hair out of my face. Most of it fell back into place. But it didn't matter.

"Thank you"

Her eyes were beginning to shut.

"Lilith please don't do this! Think of your family! Think about Beelzebub, Belphegor, your brothers!" "Think about me."

I was sobbing hard, making it difficult not to choke over my own tears.

"You can't leave us Lilith! Please...."

Her eyes were now fully shut.

A hand was placed on my shoulder. I flinched at the sudden action.

"WAKE UP LILITH WAKE UP! YOU CANT- YOU CANT DIE!"

"I won't let you die like this. That's not what he would have wanted Lilith... Please... Think about the sweet human you saved. You're a great angel Lilith. You helped so many people. Please."

"She's far too gone to be saved," A man said behind me.

I look back to see the Prince of Devildom, Diavolo. Next to him was standing another man with teal hair. I vaguely recognized him as the butler that would tend to him whenever the two of us would meet.

"Diavolo, I will do whatever it takes I don't care! Make sure she gets to live on! Gets to find love and grow old with whoever it may be! Gets to live!" I begged him with everything I had.

"Diavolo I pledge my allegiance to you if that's what it takes!" I yell, probably very loudly.

He smiles.

.

.

.

I'm in a cold sweat, laying in my massive bed. That was a couple years ago. Lilith has been dead for years. I could feel my nails digging into my arms. I couldn't save Lilith.

I couldn't save anyone.

Now me and my brothers are stuck in Devildom because of me. Lilith isn't around because of me. Our lives are ruined because of me She's out there in the human world, living life with no knowledge of us. The family that continued grieving for her. She has no knowledge that even after all that I am still sleeping in the same bed as the demon prince.

Speaking of, he had woken up, evidently noticing my loud crying. I was now scratching my arms, looking for some sort of relief from the pain I was feeling. I had failed her.

Diavolo noticed me and softly grabbed my wrists, pulling my hands away from my arms.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," He said quietly.

I tried to reach his eyes but found my own dashing around the room.

I was disappointed in myself but I could also sense Diavolo was disappointed in me. After all I hadn't scratched or further in months. Hadn't had a bad nightmare like that in months. All the progress I made felt useless as it all washed away. The angry red marks evidence of yet another one of my failures. I tried to focus on the man in front of me. I was here with Diavolo. The man I loved, dearly. Lilith has been dead for years. It's time to move on. Everything is okay.

"Is it okay if I hug you?" He asked, warmly.

I slowly nodded my head. He carefully embraced me.

"It's okay, Lilith wasn't your fault, neither was it your brother's, only those fighting for the worst side can be blamed," He whispered.

"I want you to know that I am very proud of you, relapse or not," He comforted.

"Thank you Diavolo, for everything," I whispered into his shoulder.

"Of course," He smiled as he loosened the hug so we could look each other in the eyes.

He brushed the hair out of my face. If it reminded me of Lilith, I chose to ignore it. It didn't matter, because he wasn't Lilith. All that matters is that I'm here right now with my loving boyfriend. My brother's are at The House Of Lamentation, doing perfectly fine.

Lilith is in the human world doing fine.

And most importantly, I'm doing fine, and Diavolos doing fine.

It will be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but in due time. Lilith will always be painful memory. But, one day maybe I will be able to think of bittersweet memories without bursting out into tears. To stop the urge of scratching my arms until they are bleeding the same way Lilith's were when she died at the slightest thought of her.

Not today, but it will be okay.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Spoilers below.

-OH some lore!

-Wow for Shifu, his students got bought out.

-OMG ITS THE JERK IS THE GUY AT THE END OF THE NY SPECIAL. Interesting

-BABY FEI!

-HE DIED! WTF

-She got robbed. So she failed badly

-Like the intro to this. Damn its crisp

-So Marinette is living her best life right now. Love that ladybug and chat noir bonding.

-Marinette gotta deliver a gift to the post office for her uncle.

-ADRIEN IS IN SHANGHAI!

-Marinetter got a lot of information on Adrien, some of which I'm question means of which she acquired. XD

-So Marinette realized she could use the gift delivery as a chance to maybe meet up with Adrien. That isn't really that bad. Its actually really clever.

-Gorilla is best boy.

-Adrien just wants to spend time with his dad. F*** YOU Gabriel.

-Oh damn! Gabriel has the Prodigious! And apparently its more powerful than the miraculous? WTF. Nooru knows about this

-Gabriel of course sucks and won't listen. Because Gabriel is a desperate whore.

-what do you MEAN 15 years ago? Gabriel how deep is this evil hole

-Marinette honey no, I love her. but wow. Her parents are so happy tho.

-Marinette's parents are the best. STOP SALTING THEM.

-Her uncle is so happy to see her.

-Marinette, APPRECIATE YOUR UNCLE!

-I love The uncle.

-Gabriel is such a jerk. Adrien just wants to spend time with him.

-Oh wow the restaurant looks great.

-CHENG LORE! ALSO SABINE IS SO CUTE AS A KID.

-SABINE'S REAL NAME IS XIA PING! I am so happy to know this!

-He is making good points. She could get lost.

-Marinette tracking him. also Kwami speak all languages. Neat

-I just realized... did neither ladybug or chat noir tell each other that they are out of Paris?

-Adrien out with his dad (Gorilla) for walk is precious.

-PROTECT GORILLA HE IS A BEAN!

-Oh Gabriel being a jerk. what else is new?

-How does Gabriel know about this all? I am so confused.

-Fei is back. She is strong. Also She is a kind person.

-Oh no... she is actually trying to rob people.

-Oh she can disguise herself.

-And GABRIEL STILL SUCKS

-PLAGG is still Plagg. I missed seeing plagg.

- So if Marinette had stayed at the restaurant and chilled with her uncle. ADRIEN WOULD HAVE SHOWED UP. This is what happens when you are TOO THIRSTY!

-Marinette found him.

-and Fei just robbed her. Like HOW DID MARINETTE GET ROBBED SO EASILY?! Marinette is confirmed easy mark.

-Marinette she just robbed her don't help her

-and marinette just realized she is LOST IN SHANGHAI!

-Oh damn Fei is kicks butt.

-Adrien is so happy Marinette is in Shanghai! Thats so sweet. The Uncle ships it. The Bird ships it.

-Adrien you are a sweet bean. But I want to sock you for calling her just a friend.

-HOLD UP, HOW CAN GORILLA HAVE AN EAGLE action figure. Isn't this special suppose to take place between season 2 and 3? I am so confused.

-Marinette is lost, and she is lost.

-ADRIEN BONDING WITH HIS FUTURE IN-LAWS

-Adrien just confirmed she is always late.

-The old lady trying to help. Thats so nice.

-Fei, that guy is the d-bag that screwed over your adoptive dad!

-Guy is such a d-bag

-So Fei was being a jerk.

-Oh they are trying to return the necklace.

-Oh Fei speaks French, how convenient

-Fei feels guilty. GOOD

-Goriila is a bean.

-OH THEY ARE WORRIED.

-ADRIEN GONNA SEARCH FOR HIS FRIEND! YES! MARICHAT TIME.

-Chat noir transformation remix! Nice.

-They are making the police efficient here.

-Well Fei is gonna keep feeling guilty about this.

-Chat noir making Parisian heroes look good.

-Fei is gonna feel super guilty about this.

-THE PARROT IS SENTIENT!

-They found the earrings.

-Fei is pissed.

-Tikki found Marinette.

-Fei got fast hands

-Fei redemption arc now.

-OH NO, THE GUY REALIZED IT.

-Fei gonna fight them.

-THE GUYS FROM EARLIER!? They are great.

-Chat noir calling ladybug out of concern for marinette. So cute.

-Gabriel is such an a**hole. He remembered Marinette but not his own son.

-Fei revealing origins now. Oh damn.

-The guy is the one who ruined everything.

-Liar revealed. What a shock (not)

-So this guy is gonna be akumatized. Well he is a jerk. Gabriel knows how to pick em.

-FEI! KICK HIM AGAIN!

-King Money?! NICE NAME.

-Oh damn King Money looks boss as heck.

-Ladybug is finally here.

-I saw that sigh. You love your kitty Ladybug.

-That ladynoir is so strong.

-Fei is pretty boss.

-Oh no! THEY GONNA OPEN THE VAULT.

-I love that vault. The cave looks sweet.

-The guy realized it, kind of a smart man.

-What was Hawkmoth planning for 15 years?!

-Oh damn that power! Oh snap.

-The dragon guard look sick.

-Hawkmoth pulling a baller move with that. Like "B**** I aint fighting your guardian."

-Ladybug on the scene.

-Fei unlocked the power.

-WOW LADY DRAGON LOOKS REALLY COOL. And the Renlings looks kind of cool. Prodigious seems interesting.

-Renlings, the spirits of Human values. And, most of them look better than the Kwami, except plagg. Plagg is the best.

-Oh wow so they have neat requirements.

-SHE CAN SHAPE SHIFT! AMAZING

-I WANT THE PRODIGEOUS

-Only noble people can use the dragon.

-Revenge aint noble

-CHAT NOIR TO THE RESCUE!

-HE AKUMATIZED THE DRAGON GUARD GUY!

-Yan Woshi! OH DAMN, HAWKMOTH BE PLAYING FOR KEEPS!?

-This akuma maybe one of the best ones yet.

-HE LOOKS SO COOL.

-PLOT TWIST! HAWKMOTH ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HIS SON FOR ONCE! I am shook.

-HAWKMOTH GOT THANOSED. So Hawkmoth cares instantly loses. XD

-"Is that good news or bad news?" Chat noir, you are right. But thats your dad

-RUN ITS NOT GODZILLA!

-Ladybug and Chat noir getting their butt kicked.

-Fei also getting wrecked.

-Zag confirmed furry

-Fei just left them high and dry.

-And Chat noir is dead! ANGST.

-Ladybug gonna talk some sense into her.

-The mascara smeared. Thats real sadness.

-Cue power of friendship talk.

-Fei saves her with the power of friendship.

-dragon v. dragon fight!

-Oh I like this lucky charm.

- Yaloshi is his name now? (these subs are confusing)

-Oh snap, the power of team work! And fighting in the belly of the beast.

-THAT LADYNOIR HUG.

-They tied up the guy.

-Fei should have killed the guy.

-Meishi is adorable.

-I LOVE THIS LITTLE CONVERSATION. THEY ARE GONNA PRETEND TO RACE. and then show up later.

-Oh fei, marinette AND Adrien are celebrating his birthday. Thats cute.

-They BOTH SAID IT! I Cant even! (also I see you Adrien, you aint slick)

-The boys crushing on Fei.

-Adrien has such soft looks for Marinette.

____________________________________________________________

So overall. The beginning was a tiny bit cringe, but not as bad as the trailer made it out to be.

I really liked Fei. She grows on ya. And I liked Lady dragon. I liked the renlings

I will say it is a better special in terms of Lore and plot than the NY special. It was lacking in the love square interactions that I wanted. But they were still cute when they had them. I do think there are a few plot holes, like Eagle being an action figure. WHEN DID THIS SPECIAL TAKE PLACE. (Edit, found out it was an animation error, NVM)

Also, now the elephant in the room? Was the special racist?

The answer is, no.

It wasn't racist, so we can all calm down about it?

So I give it an 8/10

The lore being my favorite parts.

[swimfuel]

Hey!! The X-men are literally my favorite thing and I was wondering if you could elaborate on how Scott is a knight of doom

YES OF COURSE!!!! i'll put it under a cut since i tend to ramble a bit & i'm pulling a bunch of explanations from people smarter than i am

the knight weaponizes their aspect; they have an inherent understanding of their aspect that allows them to exploit it completely. doom is the aspect of systems, restrictions/limitations, sacrifices, and endings.

one of scott's core themes is reclaiming his restrictions in order to serve others/the greater good! he takes the possible liability that are his faulty powers and shifts them to become an advantage, largely through the strength of his restraint and discipline. his role as a tactician and the way he sees sacrifices (more on that later) also mesh EXTREMELY well with the knight of doom.

i feel like the Wh*don run (specifically astonishing x-men #22-23) really highlights how scott can turn a situation on its head through exploiting his disadvantages to the point where they become tactically advantageous!! like, let's count the ways:

the ship the x-men stole from kruun is obviously bugged, so his team won't be able to communicate without being overheard. he realizes this, and uses that restriction (being overheard) as an advantage, by falsifying their course of action.

he has been left "without his powers"—he presents a restriction that lowers the guard of his adversary and grants him entry to their home base. he then subverts this by exploding the shit out of everything when an opportune moment arrives

HE LITERALLY EXPLOITS DEATH...... HE EXPLOITS HIS OWN DEATH...................FOR THE GREATER GOOD..........DUDE???? someone get this man an advil

some more thoughts, followed by some examples by people smarter than me:

he exhibits a similar pattern of idolization/realization with xavier irt karkat/HICand dave/bro.... not sure if this by itself is a knight-y thing but i think the consistent disillusionment with their role in defending their aspect is interesting (aka knight burnout, more on that later)

he is def willing to sacrifice shit for the greater good of mutantkind. the shit in question sometimes being his closest friends and allies. the examples that stick out to me are how he allowed beast to get tortured (utopia era) while executing his plan to solve All His Problems At Once & also when he sent x-force to the future to defend hope knowing it was going to be a one-way trip

that entire issue revolving around just how GOOD scott is at self-repression😭😭😭 i'm pretty sure it's post-schism utopia era i don't remember the exact issue WAIT NVM i'm pretty sure it's uncanny #518

seeing phoenix!scott as an inversion to (rogue of) life is also an interesting concept (unchecked growth!)

the amount of responsibility he feels he has to take on (partially due to his idolization cycle w xavier/xavier's dream) is also both knight-y and doom-y

and of course the instinct to protect the people around him --> being expanded into the whole of mutantkind (which, in turn, expands his sense of obligation)

everything leading up to revolutionary cyclops is also very interesting through this framework because its reminiscent of the knights & doom players in hs! the "taking on an insane burden" (phoenix force, whatever whammied mituna) -> the "resignation to the fate handed to him by his aspect" (his stint in prison, dead daves, sollux in general) -> the "refusal to accept that fate" (prison break, dave not wanting to use time travel, sollux fucking off into the dreambubbles, karkat coming to terms w his relationship w leadership) --> experiencing knight burnout at the end of revolutionary era going into death of x

im not sure exactly how to put it into words but everything about his childhood/teenhood... like being surrounded by forces seeking to control him and use him for their own ends..... idk

(from @/land-of-classpects-and-analysis, sections highlighted red are of particular interest)

HIS GIANT STINKING MARTYR COMPLEX.....DUDE😭😭

side note & ive mentioned this before but scottjean is an interesting parallel to davejade in a way i cant verbalize

Then there are the ones who may accept [the fact of inevitable human suffering], and so choose to live in high alert of any danger - any threats - as well as living in fear of what harm may befall them and/or their loved ones. It is this third and final group of people that so deeply marks that of the Knight of Doom.

Now, this might cause a few eyebrows to become quirked. After all, a Knight? Being fearful of something - nevertheless that thing being related to their Aspect? Knights do often present themselves as ruthless and fearless warriors, yes, but that is only because their Aspects and the world around them raised and called them to act as such. 

... A key factor in the Knight’s life, specifically before their journey truly begins, is that they are already well equipped with their Aspect.

... The Knight of Doom is one where their Aspect being all around them is far more bittersweet than anything else.

... What is important to acknowledge is that the facade the Knight of Doom puts up is not only to hide the fear they have for their Aspect, but it is most definitely there to hide the grief and pain they have not yet completely finished going through. Whether it’s been weeks or years, the Knight of Doom is someone who would rather hide themself away from these feelings than find a way to truly mend and heal them ... they have built a false wall between them and their suffering strong and thick enough to partially block it from their memory. 

... Knights are known to become extremely stubborn whenever people try to order them around and pressure them into doing something, and the Knight of Doom is no different - especially if they believe what they are doing is for the greater good. 

(from @/dahniwitchoflight)

Dahni’s Explanantion: “Doom can be a negative force that rejects and harms, fostering a sense of hostility or sadness. But, it is also the idea that you can pull backwards and cautiously and wisely withdraw into your own self.  It can be the idea of Control taken from the sharp Black and White Restrictions that everything in the world gets sorted into. It understands community necessity and need, responsibly pulling back and lowering you down into its lap to help wind yourself down. Doom then is an ultimate gentle Equalizer, instilling its players with an internal sense of Acceptance and eventually true Wisdom.”

Knight of Doom: One who Exploits with Doom or Exploits Doom

Knights hide a fear of a perceived fundamental failure with their Aspect behind a shield of confidence and obsessive effort. Their challenge is to learn to take it down a notch and to understand that they are skilled enough

A Knight is very skilled with using the rules and limitations of any game or session to their advantage. They skillfully fulfill any responsibility or obligation required of them with ease. They might use their natural caution and pessimism to make realistic choices and endeavors. They use and exploit any rule or limit that they can to their advantage. They might also be very good at exploiting any sacrifices made or any obligation or responsibility that they are held to. They might be very good at avoiding any unnecessary thing or person and are very good at recognizing when something is too futile to even bother with.

Likewise they might only focus on the necessary things in their game or session so they are likely to not do much unless it’s absolutely necessary. They would very likely be very meticulous with themselves about following the rules properly and constantly restrict themselves, maybe thinking they aren’t following the rules properly enough or not following the right ones. They might sacrifice anything they consider unnecessary about themselves or the way they live, sometimes even going too far with it, in order to be considered or thought of as less useless. They’re always trying harder and holding themselves to extreme self-imposed standards.

They would likely wait for the opportune moment to strike, though they are slow to move or act, they always will when something necessary needs to happen. Out of all the Doom players, a Knight of Doom seems like the one most likely to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. A Knight of Doom can also expertly use and exploit fire, bombs and explosions to their advantage, maybe they create flashy distractions during fights. They might even use decaying or dying things to their advantage.

(from @/communistvriska)

Role in the Session: Rather like the Prince of Doom, this role’s title kinda has “edgelord” written all over it, but that’s not a set-in-stone character trait. The first thing that comes to mind re: what the Knight Class and the Aspect of Doom have in common is a strong sense of obligation. The Knight of Doom is bound to take their duties and responsibilities Extremely Seriously, perhaps rather too seriously at first ... Knights also tend to be very protective of both their Aspect as a concept, and of themselves and those close to them; while the Knight of Doom isn’t likely to be outwardly aggressive, given Doom’s reserved, slow-burn tendencies, woe betide those who try to deceive or confound the Knight or their allies. One of Doom’s internal contradictions (which I find personally fascinating) is that the aspect is associated both with cynical resignation and with a profound albeit restrained sense of passion and persistence. Doom is what’s left after everything else gets burnt away.

The Knight of Doom will likely be a very skilled combatant, as the Knight is a class strongly associated with Strife / battle, and Doom is one of the more overtly destructive Aspects. I’d put them in the Top 5 Roles to use a cool flamin sword, at least. They’re not going to be eager to fight, per se, but they’re not going to have much trouble scaling the echeladder when it comes to that either. Internally, they’re likely to struggle with a perceived (but largely imagined) inability to fulfill their duties, and they could well stumble once or twice in their quest to be perceived as reliable and stoic, or as someone who their friends can lean on. They’re probably doing more than enough already, but if they’re not careful they might overexert themselves and take on too heavy a burden, and they’re liable to be crushed by their own expectation that they face their challenges alone. This is going to factor into their capital-Q Quest and the environment of their planet, and will be the biggest obstacle in their path to Ascension. A Knight’s duty is to protect their co-players, but their co-players also have to support them.

[banalbones]

The Petite Prince: Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Princes Don’t Need Help

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8

SideStory

Summary: Roman is a child. Virgil is spending time with said child, and said child likes Logan’s Crofter’s.

Words: 2179

Ships: Familial everything, except roceit. Eventual familial roceit

Genre: Fluff with a side dose of angst

Warnings: A few swears, tell me if there’s any more!

Taglist: @pricklyfish777 @sunflowerblondeuwu @itriedandimtired @draw-your-perfect-world @cemmy @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @nonbinary-lizard-2 @fanforeveruniverse @i-cant-find-a-good-username

_________________________

Virgil was content.

After hours, hours of searching for the precious little bean, here he was in the emo’s arms.

Finally.

The small royal giggled as Virgil made a silly face at him.

Scary reputation? Who’s she.

The baby reached up and tugged at the anxious side’s hair, marvelling at the pretty purple color, pulling at his own chocolate curls in comparison.

“Woah!”

Virgil felt his heart melt as the petite prince tugged his hair again, happily beaming and showing off his gap tooth.

He knew that the others were watching the exchange, but, for the first time in his ‘life’, didn’t even care.

Then Roman’s face scrunched up in concentration, and he let go of the emo’s hair.

“Liv’ roo!”

Virgil smiled softly.

“The living room?”

“Liv’ roo!”

So. Cute.

___________________________

Okay can I just interrupt for a second?

You already have, but go on.

Why do you all keep emphasizing how cute he was?

Because I was absolutely adorable.

Because he was absolutely adorable.

…

Fair enough.

___________________________

Patton was still chatting with Logan, about brownies and endorphins and all the like, but he still felt sad.

Patton was the literal dad of the group, and yet when one of his kiddos turned into a literal kiddo, he could do nothing about it. Well, for now at least.

Logan had told him that Roman had most likely felt extremely overwhelmed, causing him to regress further, and therefore should not be exposed to one of the main reasons he had felt overwhelmed by for a bit.

The logical side had faltered near the end, which the moral side took as a good sign.

Maybe he doesn’t think I’m too big a ‘main reason’.

Patton held on to this hope.

Because any hope, no matter how trivial, was hope.

____________________________

Remus really hadn’t wanted to give his little bro over to Virgie, and was considering to just, well to just not, but the look that Nerdy Wolverine had given him had convinced him of doing otherwise.

Whatever. I guess they still think I want to kill my brother.

Which he didn’t.

But again, whatever.

The Duke ignored the sting that the thought had left.

Whatever.

____________________________

Back in the living room, Roman was grinning wider than ever.

It was working! There was waaaay less sad, and even better than that, he had helped.

Ooh, look at the pretty lights! And the pur-pur hair! Wait, he had already seen the pur-pur hair. It was still pretty though!

The room was being decorated with nice bright colors and fairy lights. Big him (and Little him) loved those!

“So. What d’ya wanna do?”

Roman turned and looked at Virgil, a tad confused, before shrugging.

“You choo!”

Big me never got to choose. Wow! Fluffy blankets!

The little prince missed the shocked face Virgil had worn at his response, and his confused face before that.

“Disney?”

“Yeah!”

_________________________

Why had the bean looked so confused when I had asked him what he wanted to do?

That was a question that would surely echo throughout Virgil’s mind for the rest of the movie marathon, and most likely after it as well.

Looking to the adorable little royal, Virgil smiled an anxious smile.

I hope he’s okay.

Virgil looked at the wide green eyes, engrossed in whatever the Disney movie at the moment was. He was so small, but that was to be expected of a now fifteen month old baby.

The paper crown slipped down over the prince’s eyes, blocking his view of the film. He huffed and pushed it back up with his tiny hands.

“Need a little help there?”

Vigil was still smiling as the bean harrumphed, rather dramatically.

“No.”

“You sure about that? The crown keeps falling.”

“No.” he retorted, stubborn as ever.

The crown fell again.

This time tears filled the prince’s eyes and he pouted angrily.

“Stay!”

Virgil reached over to fix it, only to have his hand swatted away.

“No! Prin’s don’ nee ‘elp!”

Princes don’t need help? Well that doesn’t seem… healthy. What if the bean isn’t healthy?! Well, its obvious he’s not- he is regressed, but what if- I should probably try to stay calm. For his sake.

It was funny, the literal embodiment of anxiety trying to be calm.

The crown fell again and tears rolled down the youth’s cheeks.

Virgil wrapped his arms around the bean, attempting to comfort him. He did want to find out what the small royal had meant, but he couldn’t bear seeing an upset little royal.

The bean must not be sad!

And so Virgil kept hugging the little prince, trying to ignore the phrase.

Princes don’t need help!

Great, two things that would probably haunt him forever.

_________________________

Roman dried his eyes in VeeVee shirt, already regretting the tears.

He was supposed to make them happy!

Sad=bad!

And so, the petite prince took a deep breath, and cuddled closer to Virgil.

_________________________

Both boys had forgotten about their movie marathon by now, content to just cuddle there forever, but then the baby prince had an idea, an idea that would hopefully make VeeVee happy.

The hoodie itself was reeeeeally nice and soft and fluffy and warm, and the prince wasn’t even wearing it!

If it was that nice on the outside, what it be like on the inside?

And so Roman had two options.

Option one: snuggled inside the jacket against Virgil’s chest,

Or

Option two: snuggled in the hood.

It was a very hard choice to make, but the small royal eventually clambered to the top of the emo’s head, getting ready to drop down into the soft embrace of fabric.

Virgil was extremely confused throughout the whole of it.

Roman giggled, and then he was laying in the warm, warm hood.

Oh look! Pur-pur hair!

And so the prince was cosy and the emo was amused.

“Adorable.”

_________________________

Logan walked into the kitchen the next morning, ready to enjoy his sweet, sweet Crofter’s, when a giggly Roman and a smiling Virgil entered the room.

Now, this would not have struck Logan as odd if it weren’t for the fact that the tiny prince was sitting in the anxious side’s hood, his little arms wrapped around Virgil’s neck.

Logan.exe is experiencing a malfunction. Overload of cuteness has temporarily shut down subject’s brain.

Now, Logan wasn’t a robot, or anything of the sort. He was a metaphysical human being. But in that moment he just ‘couldn’t’.

This is odd, I’ve seen and identified the child as ‘cute’ before. Why am I so overwhelmed by the cuteness now?

Virgil must’ve noticed Logan’s mini meltdown, as he snorted and said “You good there teach?”

“How is he so adorable?”

Virgil was about to respond but got interrupted by the little prince.

“Mama!”

Logan.exe is experiencing a malfunction. Overload of cuteness has temporarily shut down subject’s brain.

Twice in a minute. That was most certainly not normal.

But it wasn’t necessarily bad, either.

________________________

Roman, even as a baby, loved attention, and teasing people. So when he noticed he had a chance to get attention and mess with Mama, of course he would do it.

His spot in Virgil’s hood was very comfortable though.

It could wait until after breakfast.

The little prince hugged Virgil’s neck tighter, and pointed at the jar of Crofter’s next to Logan.

Well, he could still mess with Logan from up here.

________________________

You were literally fifteen months old, and yet you still felt the need to be annoying?

Hey! I didn’t want to be annoying, I just wanted to mess with you.

Sure.

And also eat your Crofter’s.

As you would usually say, heathen.

________________________

“You shouldn’t be eating this. Too much sugar could be detrimental for your teeth.”

Logan, in the end, gave in to the whims of the adorable little child and let him eat the jam.

…

Logan and Virgil were mostly silent throughout the meal, happy to listen to the small royal’s babbling.

And then there was a tug.

The left brain boys had completely forgotten about Thomas.

Virgil looked to the logical side, panic evident in his expression.

“What the fuck do we do?”

Logan had on a similar expression.

“The more pertinent question is do we tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

“About Roman. He doesn’t know that sides regress.”

“He doesn’t!?”

“No.”

“How come I thought he did?”

“You were usually the regressed side.”

“That doesn’t mean anythi-”

Another tug.

Roman let out a whimper.

One of them had to go, but the other had to stay with the prince.

“Roman can’t sink down, he isn’t touching the floor.”

“Guys!”

They heard Thomas’s voice this time.

And so, in a heat of the moment decision, Virgil gently but quickly lifted the bean out of his hood, handed him to Logan, and sank down.

“I’ll come up with an excuse!”

_________________________

Logan sighed, and looked to the petite prince now in his arms.

“No he won’t.”

The scaled-down side nodded his head in agreement.

Logan smiled at him and with a quick flick of the wrist, summoned a book.

It was a small picture book with a few words littered throughout.

The nerd knew that normal fifteen month olds would not be able to read at all, but they weren’t exactly real, and so didn’t follow the ‘natural process’ of aging accurately.

Roman squealed as the book landed in front of him, a golden light illuminating his tiny features.

Wait a… gold light? Where is that coming from?

Very odd.

A few moments later the princely side, after being few pages in, started humming.

And then there were birds.

And rabbits.

And squirrels.

And deer.

Where are all of these coming from? Should I be concerned?

Logan stared incredulously at the child, who didn’t seem to notice his new company.

Curious.

…

And then the humming stopped.

Logan, who had summoned his own book to read, looked up to see a frown on the youthful side’s face as he seemingly struggled to read a word.

“Do you require any assistance?”

The royal shook his head fiercely.

“No! Prin’s don’ nee ‘elp!”

Oh. Oh dear.

“Why not?” Logan decided to say, in a deliberately soft voice.

“B-b-bi’ me!”

Big him?

Logan was tempted to get another side’s help, but decided against it.

He could help the child himself.

“You should never be ashamed of needing help, Roman. Everyone needs it sometimes, even me.”

Roman looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

“Rea’y?”

Logan smiled.

“Yes, your highness, it is true.”

The miniscule royal frowned.

“Bi’ me ner g’elp…”

Logan was having a tough time translating.

“Big you never wanted to get help?”

The prince shook his head.

“Go’ elp.”

“Big you never got help?”

Roman nodded.

Did he not?

“How come?”

“Asd, bu no.”

“He asked but no?”

The royal nodded again.

That is quite concerning.

“No’n elp ‘im, so no nee’ elp!”

Logan really needed a dictionary.

“No one helped him, so ‘no need help’?”

“Ee d-d’ided no nee’ elp.”

“He decided he didn’t need help?”

“Ya!”

Well.

Logan definitely needed to have a long, possibly uncomfortable discussion with the rest of the sides.

As Virgil would so eloquently put it, ‘We fucked up.”

_______________________

In Remus’s room, the day before…

Remus had joined the conversation with Logan and Patton after Virgil and his RoBro left.

He had also found out everything that had happened.

And he was not happy.

_______________________

Janus was happy.

Very happy, in fact.

The slimy snek boy knew it had literally been a day since it happened, but still.

He had gotten accepted!

He had revealed his name!

And it was great. Extremely freeing to know that he finally had nothing more to fear.

Except Roman. Except Virgil.

He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.

He was Denial after all.

No one has spoken to you since then. Not even Patton.

He pushed those away too.

Happy. Happy. Happy.

You were too harsh.

He forced out a smirk and ignored it.

All he did was call your name stupid.

Happy. Happy.

He didn’t even mean it. You know when people are lying, and he was.

Happy.

He didn’t mean it, but you did.

Jesus Christ Superstar!

All Janus wanted was to be happy and feel nice feelings after being accepted!

These thoughts were pushing through an indestructible wall of denial, something only Remus could d-

Remus.

You and I are going to have a problem.

____________________

In Remus’s room, the day before…

Patton had been happy to chat with Remus as well as Logan, (or so he told himself) and so when the Duke had asked what had happened with him and Roman, he had been fine with telling him.

Well, would have been.

Logan had interjected before the moral side had had a chance to open his mouth, and Patton inwardly shrugged and listened.

It seemed so much worse when you put it like that.

And so when he had seen Remus’s stormy expression, he had been worried.

Well, shit.

______________________

Thank you for reading this chapter of the Petite Prince!

Another competitor has joined the arena!

Also before you say (if anyone was going to say anything) ‘oh my god! Patton swore!’ I personally do hc Patton as someone who swears. Not like ‘oh god’ or anything like that, but since Thomas swears, I think all of the sides do.

[novus-ordo-seclorem]

Remember

Fanfic time! Will continue this after I’ve gone to work and had sleep etc.

Fandom: Hitman

Ship: Lucasx47, A/B/O dynamics thrown in.

Rating: Mature

-

The shadows lengthened, climbing the ancient wallpaper across the opposite wall.  Dust motes drifted in the icy stillness, the Romanian wilds beyond the broken windowpanes silent, a void of sound.  Something called, however. Something echoed from the cathedral of his mind.

"You don't remember,"  the stranger said, "but I do."

The pistol wavered a moment, before slowly lowering.

"Who am I?"  the Shadow Client insisted.  "What did they call me?"

It escaped the hitman's mouth in a gush of warm breath, a revelation.

"Subject 6."

-  -  -  -  -

47 peered at the red-brown prescription bottle, lips pulled tightly between his teeth.  The collection of little yellow tablets within rattled as he turned it to read the sideways instructions in bold, black type-face.

"CAUTION: TAKE WITH FOOD AT THE SAME TIME DAILY. LIMIT EXPOSURE TO ALPHA-CONTROLLED SPACES FOR FULL EFFECT."

He uncapped the bottle and tapped out one. The offensive taste was terrible enough, which was why he chased it down with liquor.  But it was a necessary evil - chemically cauterizing the one thing that made him feel anything.  Even the pleasure of listening to beautiful music was robbed from him.  Connecting with other people was useless - he'd never be able to empathize.  To understand.  Burned all away to keep his omega instincts at bay.

To keep him from being reduced to a drooling,  desperate omega in the throes of heat, aching for any cock to fill him, he must cut away all the pieces that made him remotely human.

He thought about Grey. Subject 6.   The strange muted, undeniable pull of want.

Making the slightest face, he tossed the pill under his tongue, and cupped his hands under the faucet for water to drink it down.

He emptied the rest of the bottle down the toilet.

-----

He remembered what Lucas had said during the long drive to the hotel with him.  What Providence had done to all of the Alpha clones. They had tried to run away once.  Lucas had gotten away, only because 47 willed it. He gave himself up so that Lucas could live.  Any other Alphas were euthanized like dogs and burned to ashes.

Then Ort-Meyer had erased Forty-Seven's memories of anyone or anything so he would never attempt such a daring escape again.  His prized specimen to control, admire. Use.

"You were the last, and only," he explained.  "An army of willful Alpha assassins would have been useless to him. You were the key.  Your blood would have been their template.  Obedient, medicated, disciplined Omegas to do their bidding."

"And now?"

"They still can't control you.  And they never will."  He smiled then. "They're going to pay, Forty-Seven. We're going to make them pay."

While Lucas drove them through a quiet Romanian suburb, he closed his eyes and tried to clutch at sleep.  The timber of Grey's voice thrummed within him long after he had gone silent.  Bassy, deep, and filling his head like a warm, dark cup of rich sound.  It was achingly familiar and kept him from truly lulling into slumber.

Everything yearned for Grey and he couldn't begin to understand why.  He was determined, terrified, to discover what this feeling meant.

---

Three nights later, underneath Grey's scrutiny, he couldn't stop his palms from sweating.  He was the unflappable agent and yet he felt like a school boy in the principal's office.  Whenever he met his forest green eyes he did not find judgment or malice, only calm warmth... and sadness.

Grey held a glass of amber liquid on his thigh, the picture of repose as he relaxed.  The security of the location permitted him a sense of personal agency - jacket thrown over the back of a dining room chair, shirt untucked from his trousers,  the sleeves of his sweater rolled up to reveal the structured wiry muscle in his forearms, veins and scars in stark relief.

Forty-Seven was desperate not to stare at them.

The hitman busied himself with preparation;  idle hands were the devil's playground.

He disassembled the two firearms he brought with him when he went to the asylum and with his usual meticulous manner he cleaned and assessed them, polished them again.  All the while feeling the measure of the Alpha's gaze on his shoulder.

Lucas drained the glass at last, sliding the empty tumbler to the coffee table with extra care.  "How much can you remember?  Anything at all, besides my name?"

47 pressed the firing pin back into the slide carefully, using a small narrow tool until it clicked into place near the other side of the stock.  Click.  "I remember... that room. Vaguely.  As if it's all underwater.  Voices... garbled.  Faces are blurry."  He paused, an imperceptible crease at his brow with a frown.  "I'm sorry.  I can't."

"But you remember me.  Our promise."

"Yes.  I remember you with absolute certainty."  

"Good."   Lucas found some sense of relief and satisfaction in this.  But nothing quite touched the distant quality of his gaze.  He exhaled slowly.  "You take suppressants?"  

The intrusive question was so jarring, he dropped the next piece.  He fumbled to pick it up again.  "I choose to.  Even if it wasn't mandated by the ICA, I can't work efficiently unless..."

He let the idea finish itself, and Lucas didn't elaborate for him.  Instead the silence fell comfortably again.

47 finished at last.

He felt Lucas standing then.  The creak of the chair and the soft footstep as he closed the small distance between them.

He put his hand softly onto the nape of his neck,  light as could be.  The warmth of his body built and occupied the small space between skin and skin, radiating.  For a moment Lucas Grey left his hand there, until each of his digits relaxed and he caressed the back of his neck.

Ice water seemed to flood the hitman's belly.  He sat, rigid-backed, paralyzed by the sudden advance.  Rather than recoil, however, he stayed where he was. It wasn't fear that held him fast.

"I remember the first night you had your first heat.  By the time I knew what was even happening, the others... had you.  I fought them off you.  I took you away and we hid anywhere I knew they couldn't reach us."  The hushed quality of his voice almost broke him.  There was the slightest pause before Forty-seven leaned closer to him.  "Do you remember?"

"No,"  47 whispered.

"I knew then, I'd kill anyone who would hurt you.  You trusted me.  I'd rather die than break that trust."  

His warm skin whispered against his, until he cupped his cheek, thumb against his cheekbone.  

"I've spent years searching for you."  Lucas's demeanor crumbled next, and his voice shook with unbridled, tumultuous emotion.  His breathing deepened and then hitched, as his olfactory sense hooked on something.  It hit him solidly, the intrusive hyper-awareness of an omega in the room.  His familiar scent was heavy and aromatic. Like clove cigarettes, spicy and pungent. "Forty-Seven."  

The softest murmur of apology escaped the hitman's lips, even as he canted his head to the hand against his cheek.  Nose to his wrist, gathering every particle of Lucas Grey into him. He looked up then with a dazed, mystified quality to his arctic blue eyes.  

"What have you done?" Lucas hissed.  

"I want to remember."

"You- by not taking your suppressants? How long have you--?  When was the last time you had them?"

"Three days ago."

Lucas stepped back away from him, eyes vividly bright.  "Where are they?"

"Gone."

"What? What do you mean ‘gone’?"

"I threw them away."

"Jesus Christ."    Grey's hands covered his face, rubbing at his closed eyes with the heels of his hands.  Emotion, whatever it had been, now boiled down into earnest desperate concern. "You can't do that. You know what happens. Cold turkey like that, you'll..."

The hitman cringed from him.  He knew. Of course he knew.  It was a calculated action and a very stupid, stupid risk.  His fingers clung into the edge of his seat.  Cold sweat crept along his flesh, growing more feverish by the second.   Then he looked up to level his gaze at the other male, heavy with conviction.  "Help me. Please."

Lucas' hands fell to his sides. His jaw slackened. His mind flooded with those sweetened memories he clung to so dearly, and the boyish face of their teenage years became the man who sat before him now, entreating him with that look.  He hardly had to look to know that by now the hitman was hard for him, drenched in sweat and urgency, waiting for him.

He peeled his eyes away from his lower belly and focused. He held out his hand.  Shaking 47 reached to take it, and he drew in a second lungful of him.  Heard that his childhood friend was doing much the same as he stood up and stepped into the circle of his arms.  He smelled so good.  He drew him in and felt the omega's hands shift to cling to the back of his shirt.  Through his chest and shirt, he felt his heart slamming.

"Help me remember you,"  he heard him say.  

"Like this?"  

"Is there any other way?"  

"There could be."    Lucas fought to keep his hands still, to keep from tearing 47's silk shirt from his skin. As it was, he found himself marveling at his muscular back, pressing against sheets of sinew and muscle.

"But you want this,"  the other noted, his words slurred now, drunk on the power Lucas now held sway over him.  Even so, he was shaking.   He was terrified.

Lucas's heart broke a thousand times over again. He wanted too much, too quickly.  He wanted to ravage and claim him for himself all over again.  He drew back a step, blinking for clarity.  "Come with me.  I won't hurt you."

He pulled at his wrist, and 47 resisted a moment longer before he obeyed, unshrinking from the crashing realization of what was to happen in the next room, in the bed-too-large-for-one.  

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[draggingthedregs]

as i said earlier, it is an ungodly length but i hope you can enjoy my late night, book-drunk opinions anyway!

***

guess who just finished “ruin and rising”?

i’m seriously not okay. someone send help. i got lots of thoughts, none of which you are obligated to read but this seems like the best place to share.

oh and spoilers, duh.

for starters. woah.

i can’t say it was what i expected but i had known that what my heart really wanted was kinda far out of reach. the ending felt real and feasible, complete with love and loss.

in terms of “ruin and rising” alone, i think it was possibly the strongest of the three books. the pacing was good, nothing felt like it dragged on too long or went too fast for its own good. i think that was really important as well, considering the fact that there was always something going on. literally,, always. no one ever got a damn break.

mal’s “death” hurt me more then i had expected. which honestly leads back to one of my main gripes with this story. the love square (which i elaborate on later in this post, just hold on a bit). i’m not going to lie. i hated mal. through the middle of “siege and storm” up to page 168 of “ruin and rising” (and even then it was a long road from hate to crying over him). he was an ass, i think we can all admit that. for awhile there, i even jumped on the “fuck mal” train and had no plans to stop at any station anytime soon. for the longest time, the relationship with alina felt so fragile and forced, like the only reason it existed was because leigh had written it into existence. though, as i read on, i saw why it was so strained and saw the eventual resolution, which i will admit i was happy with. mal and alina, however annoying and troupe filled their personalities were, did develop as characters. and their relationship made some semblance of sense in the grand scheme of things. does that mean i forgive the “on-again-off-again”, “cold-shoulder”, “we-cant-be-together-in-this-lifetime” bullshit? no. does that mean i suddenly love mal? also, no. does that mean i ship them? ugh slightly. does that mean in a magical dream world where i got to chose what happened, they’d still end up together? impossible to say. BUT i can say, that they deserved each other. and i am happy that they got their peace together like they both always wanted (no matter how out of place it felt at any point), especially considering the fact that she literally had to kill him.

my dear dear darkling... i knew what fate awaited you and yet, when the time came... it hurt just the same.

okay,, that was a bit dramatic. but come on. leigh wrote a damn good villain with aleksander morozova. i meAN, thE lAYERS. he was a horrible person and yet, so many of us still love him. he killed for fun, manipulated no matter the cost, preyed upon the weak because he could, literally blinded his own mother and still! i can’t help but love him. there was so much human woven into his darkness. the moments of simple longing, of exhaustion, of loneliness. in all honesty, if there had been a way to humanize him, to erase or explain away his atrocities and have him just be aleksander again, i feel like i would do it. but, in the context of the story i do understand why it wasn’t possible. redemption for the darkling was off the table, no matter how much humanity still remained. but that’s what makes him such a good character. you want him to be different because you can see the good and all the potential for things to change, for them to rule ravka side by side, but at the same time, he’s the same man who is still actively creating more shadow demon creatures to eat whoever he wishes. you can’t resist him and that’s why he’s so wonderful, yet horrifying at the exact same time. (though don’t worry i am still a trash can and the darklina ship is still superior in the love square. again, i promise i will get there).

i feel like i have to talk about how much i loved the “secondary characters” (i struggle to call them that because they actually run this shit). i will say, at first, i hated zoya. i am not a big fan of the “mean girl” troupe or the “i’m-prettier-than-you-and-i-know-it” thing but... she really grew on me. i looked forward to zoyas comments and constant bitchiness, as did the characters in the books. and when she left the note and the blue kefta with alina in the epilogue,, oh god my heart. and the ragtag crew of grisha making up the remainder of the second army were amazing. their banter and dialogue were some of my favorite scenes to read in “ruin and rising” and i want books just filled with them and only them. david and genya deserve the damn world, adrik was so great, nadia and tamar are so precious, and i will miss harshaw’s weird ass more then you’ll ever know. don’t even get me started on misha and oncat. they are the true stars of this series, you cannot convince me otherwise. god i love them all so much, what a brilliant cast of characters. except the apparat. fuck the stupid ass apparat.

i know what you’re thinking. “you forgot nikolai.” no. i promise you, i most certainly did not. i just love him so much he gets his own chunk.

i mean, how could he not? he’s one of those rare, genuinely perfect characters that are impossible to not love. and i don’t mean perfect because he has no flaws or he’s written unnaturally, i mean perfect because of all of his flaws. he is arrogant and calculating, brash and unapologetic in his ways, but he’s also kind and caring, witty and charming and way too clever for his own good. i rooted for him more then i have ever rooted for someone in my entire life. he made everything ten times better. you can always count on his ass to pop up in a flying ship with a shiny pair of boots, a witty remark, a new plan, and too many ideas.

now, the important business... the ominous love square.

i think the words i used were “one of my main gripes with the story” which is true, but i think leads to a bigger issue with some of the characterization in the story. the “love square” was a term i thought of in relation to the many overlapping and confusing ships that center around alina (obviously being mal, the darkling, and nikolai). all of the ships were so entertwined and written over top of one another that there was no other way for me to describe it and the square seemed like a nice enough analogy. it just felt like way too much on everybody’s plates.

i love nikolai and alinas friendship. i mean, LOVED it. because i loved it so much, i found the little nods to a ship odd and unnecessary. their story line was very focused on the fact that ravka would need a king and queen, hence the scene where he gives her the emerald and all but proposes right then and there. however, that scene would have made scene and carried the same weight had there not been the splashes of romance both before and after. now, i understand why people ship them. and honestly, if under different circumstances, i probably could’ve and would’ve shipped them myself. they would have had one of the best marriages in a society where you didn’t get to marry for love. but it just made everything more complicated. people would’ve speculated on a ship had there been no kisses or pining, soley based on the possibility of a marriage and because of their close friendship so, why was the canon addition of it necessary? i just couldn’t get behind it when i loved their platonic relationship so much and when there were two stronger and more developed ships, waging war in the background.

now, my final bone to be picked... let’s be real for a second, alina in “shadow and bone” sucked. she was annoying and had no personality beyond being a sad, lonely, orphan in the darklings sparkly new grisha world. though i will say, in the later two books, i grew to like her. her character development did its job and i actually think she grew to be a pretty good protagonist. she did her best with the cards she was dealt and i think she did really well. however, her inability to pick a boy constantly bothered me. after being in love with her best friend for literal years, she is really ready to be be the first lady of the second army. and yes. sure you could justify it. she wasn’t getting letters in return, she’d been away for months, she was adapting to her new life, the darkling made her feel seen and wanted which is all a very new feeling to her. but then she goes right back to mal after he makes a confession that he didn’t realize he loved or needed her until she was gone for months (this was one of my biggest problems with mal. my problem only grew when he spent the entirety of “siege and storm” being a dick. but like i said,, we have reconcilied. we are fine now). there were times throughout the series where i genuinely didn’t understand why they were together, why i liked them together, or why i even wanted them to end the series together. alina even asks mal at the end of “ruin and rising” if there entire relationship was based solely on the fact that mal was the last amplifier and the fact that she even had to ask really says something. was their entire romance because of the amplifier? was it because of the “we-are-just-meant-to-be-together” thing? or was there actual chemistry? i really couldn’t tell sometimes. and the darklina ship was even more twisty and winding. he went from telling her deep dark secrets because he wanted to hear the girl he loved say his name to literally threatening everyone she loves because he wants her weak and all to himself. like,, whAt? (again,, layers) and don’t even get me started on the darkling and alina apparition interactions. those were a wild fucking ride. i felt like i was getting manipulated along with the both of them in those. but maybe that was the point of the darkling and alinas relationship. it was supposed to be so horrible yet so electric that you couldn’t pull away. but i doubt the same was meant to be said for mal and alina.

now i feel like i may be coming off in the wrong way. i loved more about this series then i didn’t. but me gushing about every fine detail and conversation that made my heart melt wouldn’t make for the most interesting read, if it was even coherent. all in all, i think it’s safe to say the grisha trilogy is great. does that mean it doesn’t have flaws? of course not. does that mean the flaws outweigh the good and the actual point of the story? absolutely not. my small complaints about a few things really do not take always from the fact that i love this series. i would love anything written by leigh bardugo, especially in the grishaverse.

if you’ve made it this far, that’s commitment. thank you brave soldier. don’t take anything i’ve said with anything more than a grain of salt. seriously. if this is your favorite series, don’t let my lil complaints ruin your day. because really, the good outweighs the bad here tenfold. i’m just a girl with a lot of opinions and a platform to share them at four am... it’s a dangerous game.

but, goodbye grisha trilogy. you have served me well and i will return to reread you soon. but for now i will do a lot of writing (i already have so many fic ideas brewing) and read all the fan fiction and tumblr posts i’ve been avoiding for fear of spoilers.

[xmalereader]

The Mandalorian X Earthling Male Reader

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|| Masterlist ||

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Summary: Reader has been traveling with Din for a while now. He learns the Mandalorian culture and Din finds out what a violin is.

Warnings: Fluff

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Hearing music ;

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“What are you doing?”

The short male was standing outside of the razor crest with a suit case in hand, the two have been traveling around the galaxy together since y/n sort of forced the Mandalorian to take him with. Since he was from earth he was still getting used to everything about each different planet and species that existed which included the child. He did learn a few things about the Mandalorian culture and in return he taught Din a thing or two about earth and how they aren’t all full of selfish people.

Before leaving he was able to grab a few things for his travels; his phone, headphones, some books, and his special violin. Y/n really enjoyed music during his free time and would rather spend hours listening to it then doing anything else but since he’s been busy learning how to defend himself when it comes to bounty hunts he never had the time. So here he was, holding his violin case as he stood in an open area, they have landed in Sorgan and Din was out looking for some lodging. The child was going to follow Din but he decided to stay behind with the earthling since he found him curious and full of surprises.

“Nothing, just practicing I guess?” Y/n shrugs a little as he sets the case on a log, clicking it open as he hums. “What do you have in their is what I am wondering.” He asks again and approached the earthling, picking up the child and holding him in his arms. “It’s called a violin.”

“Looks more like a weird blaster to me.” The other rolls his eyes and picks up the instrument. “It’s not a weapon and it sure doesn’t look like one.” He checks the strings and makes sure that they are in good condition, he would be very upset if they turned out to be ruined and he didnt want that. “Thank god the strings aren’t broken or else I would murder everyone.” He mumbled out with a slight smile and chuckled, the mandalorian could only back away from The younger male not wanting to get his own self killed. “relax it was just an expression.” Y/n adds, noticing the other step away from him.

The child cooed as he watched the other adjust the instruments strings, his big eyes starred at the instrument and reached out towards it, making grabby hands at it but Din grabs the kids small hands and shakes his head. “No.” He simply said, the kid getting the memo as he whimpers in sadness. “What does it do?” Din turns back to face Y/n. “It plays music.” He answers back and adjusts the violin under his chin and held his bow. Smiling softly as he began to play the instrument, soft sounds began ot be heard as Y/n raised a brow. “Hold up this doesn’t right.” He slips off the instrument and began to tune it out.

Din shakes his head and turns away from Y/n, heading back inside the razor crest and setting the child down as he walks around the ship, checking on his own things and on the controllers. He was getting things ready for when they had to leave. He could hear the child playing around with some of the controllers which he allows him to do until the cockpit suddenly went quiet. Causing the mandalorian to raise a brow from the sudden silence, he turns around to see the child missing. “What—?” He quickly stands and rushed out, checking around the ship, searching for the missing child.

He checks the crib, hopping that the child was their but when he walked over it see he didnt find the child in their either. The mandalorian began to panic, before he could go on a sudden rampage he hears the sound of music being played just outside the ship. He makes his way out, seeing the suns setting over the horizon line he turns towards the direction the music was coming from.

The last time he saw y/n was just outside the razor crest but suddenly he was missing too. This only worried Din a lot more, he follows the music to a hill top that gave a perfect view of the plant that they were staying on for the next couple of weeks. Hearing the music get louder he looks up ahead to see y/n’s standing on the cliff as he played the violin. As he approached him to ask about the child he suddenly sees the small bean sitting in front of Y/n, watching in awe as the other played the instrument.

Din didn’t want to disturber either of the two so he had no choice but ot sit down and watch Y/n play the violin. He’s learn a lot about earthlings and their own traditions, things were different there which suddenly explained everything and as too why they weren’t allowed to land anywhere near earth. It was a pretty big planet but it always full of chaos, wars would rage on wherever you go and that sometimes scared Y/n, which is another reason to why he wanted to join the mandalorian and the child. He wanted to learn and see new things that no other human being was able to see before.

As the other continued to play the melody was suddenly picking up speed, Din noticed how Y/n had his eyes closed as he concentrated on the cords and the movements of his own hand. He glanced down at the child that sat between his legs. The kids ears were moving up an down each time the melody changed, his little form was swaying to the music as well, cooing happily. Din smiles under his helmet and watched the two closely, he noticed the sun was fully setting now which left them standing in the dark but that didnt stop Y/n from playing.

The melody was slow this time, he moved his bow up and down as his fingers held down different cords at the same time. Din noticed the other smile to himself as the music suddenly picked up speed, the pitch went form high to low in seconds. Y/n opens his eyes to see a hint of the beskar helmet and the child standing between his legs as he played. He watched as the mandalorian stared at him, he couldn’t see the expression he was making but somehow it caused him to smile.

Din wasnt the kind of guy to be impressed easily, it usually takes him awhile before he could praise someone for doing something that he somehow found interesting but this, this was different. Hearing the way the music sounded and the way he swayed his body ust triggered something inside of him. It caused him to smile in awe, seeing the other do the same in return.

The child lets out a giggle, suddenly reading the two.

Din and Y/n held eye contact, causing din to feel like he was actually being seen without his own helmet. Somehow Y/n was able to wrap him around his finger with the music he played.

Once y/n reached the last note he lowers down his bow and chuckled at the two. “Couldn’t quiet see you their in the dark for a second but the moons must’ve helped a little.” He suddenly says. Din tilts his head to the side, avoiding the others gaze. “So I’m guessing that a violin is used for peaceful matters?”

Y/n smiles at his comment and bends down to place the instrument back inside its case. “You can say that but I think of it as a way to make you feel calm, to help relax yourself and to—I guess bring peace.” He locks the case and holds it by the handle. Making his way over to Din and patting his shoulder. “I could teach you but I doubt that you’ll learn.” He grins.

Din chuckles, picking up the child. “I dont think I can master something like that, its something that only you should know. It’s unique for a person like you to know something as complicated as that.” He gestured down at the case, passing by Y/n. He makes his way back down the hill, the child looks over his shoulder and waved at Y/n with a small giggle.

“I’m unique?”

“In my world everyone is unique.” Din spots the razor crest up ahead, setting the child on top of the ramp as he grabs tools to fix up his ship a little. Y/n follows behind, he had put away his violin and came to join mando, sitting on the ramp as he watched him. “I guess that makes our family unique.” His cheeks darken at the sudden comment.

Din grunts, “Yeah I guess that does make us unique.” He adjusts the engines and turns to give the other a smile, he knows that he cant see him smile but somehow he feels like he knows that he’s smiling at him, which only caused the other to smile in return.

[thiswasinevitableid]

You what would be hella? An angsty-ish fic with the ice prompt. Your work is so lovely and well-written, I cant wait to read what ever you next produce!

Thank you so much for that, I’m glad people are excited to read my stuff! Since you didn’t specify a pairing, I went with Sternclay. Angst ahoy (but with a happy ending), along with me playing fast and loose with arctic geography.

He’s one of the lucky ones. 

Joseph Stern, scientist aboard the HMS Erebus, is a fastidious man. He is also, unfortunately, prone to bouts of seasickness meaning his meals have been scant, even before the ships became locked in. 

But it also means he was not eating food tinned in cans laden with lead. And his experimental water system, with which he occupied himself on long days, meant he drank more filtered sea water and ice than he did from the stores tainted with the same blasted material. 

So when he and the remainder of the skeleton crew left the Erebus and her sister the Terror, his mind was much clearer than most. 

And that is why, when the bulk of them turned a direction that likely held only more ice, more death, carrying a writing desk while leading freshwater behind, he refused to follow, insisting their best hope of civilization laid the opposite way. 

They left him and his supplies, unwilling to listen to his case. And so he has walked, then trudged, then barely moved, across the ice.

When he hits water, cursed sea water, he contemplates stepping into it. But drowning would be worse than freezing, or so he’s heard. 

A head surfaces in a hole through the ice. A mans head. 

Stern blinks, confused. Then he laughs.

“Maybe I should take to the sea after all. You look well fed.”

The man frowns, “You look nearly dead.”

“I am.” He sits down, knees hugged to his chest for warmth. 

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry.” The man emerges from the ice, and in place of legs he has a spotted and strong tail, like that of the seals Stern used to watch from his cabin window. 

“Unless you control the weather, I don’t think you need to be.” In any other time, the sight of a legendary creature would send him into a frenzy of delight and curiosity. Now he simply stares. 

“Why are you here?”

“The Northwest Passage.”

“That’s, um, that’s a trade thing, right? Your kind wants to move the things you sell more easily across the waters.”

“You’re well read for a merman.”

“My home isn’t that isolated.” He shrugs.

Stern stares at the water, peeking through cracks in the ice, “So many dead. So many more will die, I’ve no doubt, and all for a quicker route for spices and gold.” He can’t even weep, his body won’t let him use the energy, but he shudders in distress. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay. “ The merman slides to him, cups his cheeks, strokes his beard, and his hands are warm, warm and real, and Stern presses against them, “I mean, it sounds fucking awful, but that, um, that doesn’t sound as comforting.”

“I don’t mind the comfort.” Stern rests his hands on the man’s chest, then his mind gets a moment of true clarity, “wait, your home. You said your home is not that isolated. Is it near?”

“Um, I can reach it in a few hours but” he points to his tail, “that’s the way I can. On foot it’ll take longer. And unless the humans I know have been really wrong about some stuff, I think if you try to swim with me you’ll die, like, right away.”

“I’ve walked lord knows how far. I can manage a little more, if you point the way.”

The merman looks torn, then takes Sterns hands, “I can do one better. I’ll be your guide. If you’re closed off from the water’s edge, look under the ice.”

He slides back the way he came, surfaces a few moments later to Sterns right. So Stern follows him, sometimes no more than shape to his right, other times a ghostly shadow swimming beneath and in front of him. When night falls and Stern manages a paltry fire and shelter with his supplies, Barclay, as the mer calls himself, promises to return at sunrise, and does so without fail for the next two days. 

As he trudges across the icy ground, the best moments are when his path allows Barclay to swim right beside him, head above water so they can converse. It’s worth the effort, the inhaling of cold air, to converse with another being. Better yet, Barclay is bright and friendly, curious about Stern’s research in a way none of his crewmates were. Barclay tells him stories of merfolk and sea monsters, even makes him laugh,  in return for Stern telling him about life in England and his research into undiscovered species. 

“They offered me the chance to study far off lands, discover creatures thought only to be legend. Silly thing to die for.”

“Doesn’t sound like you were the one who got the ships stuck. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn about the world.”

Stern’s rations have run out, and when he stumbles, Barclay doubles back, concerned. 

“I, I need, food, I’ll-”

“Wait right here.” Barclay disappears. Stern counts snowflakes, heartbeats, anything to distract from the pain in his belly. 

A fish hits the ice in front of him. Then it flops and wiggles across the slick surface, back into the water.

“Damn it.” He giggles, near hysterical. 

The fish lands again, head now gone. 

“Sorry, forgot humans aren’t great with live prey.” Barclay says sheepishly. 

Stern eats five more fish Barclay brings him, manages to get to his feet and continue on. 

Night falls, colder than the last few, and Barclay disappears with his usual promise to return.

------------------------------------------

“He’s not going to last the night, Barclay.”

Barclay turns, finds his friend Indrid in his human form at the door of his house on Amnesty Island. The seer gives him a sad smile. 

“No. No he can’t. I won’t let him.”

“Barclay-”

“Indrid” Barclay grabs his shoulders, “do you remember when you found Duck? How frightened he was, how he was certain you were death coming for him?”

“Yes.” Indrid says, pain flashing on his face. He’d found the human, left behind by his research expedition. Duck had volunteered to stay behind and freeze, in hopes of his team having enough rations to make the nearest town if they were a man short. Indrid found him, brought him back to Amnesty, cared for him. Fell in love with him and Duck, after a few weeks, returned the sentiment with gusto. 

“I can’t let that happen to Joseph. I can’t, Indrid, please, the last week, I, he’s unlike any guy I’ve ever met. I can’t let him suffer that way.”

Indrid’s face goes blank. Then he gives Barclay an unusually severe stare, “You have very little time, and you must follow my instructions to the letter.”

---------------------------------------------------

He’s going to die. It’s too cold, his body too weak. He is going to die alone, his family will never know what befell him, and he will never even get the chance to thank Barclay for his kindness, for making his last days bearable, at moments almost enjoyable. 

Lord have mercy on his soul. Let it be painless. 

All for nothing, for trade and money, is this end in the ice. 

Have mercy. 

He can’t see. His heart seems to slow. In the distance, something crunches on the snow. 

Mercy. 

-----------------------------------

“So this is the fella you took my boat and my dogsled for?”

“Yes, Mama, I’m sorry.”

The woman’s voice has a laugh in it, “You always did have a big heart. Guess it was only a matter of time before you brought some hard-luck human in.”

“He’s not just any human.” A warm hand brushes Stern’s hair, “I’ve never felt this way about a human before. A few other mers maybe, when I was younger.”

“Uh, Mama? Indrid says we got a ship comin in soon and we might wanna buy more’n normal.”

Why in the lord’s blessed name is hearing a southern accent?

He tries to ask this question, gets a groan out instead.

“He’s awake!” Barclays’ voice gets closer, and when he manages to open his eyes he finds familiar, deep brown ones looking at him.

“How...where?”

“Amnesty Island. My home.” He supports Stern’s head, helping him drink blessedly clean water.

“That’s...that’s not on any map I’ve seen.”

“And for damn good reason.” A woman with graying hair stands behind Barclay, “only those who need to know can find us, on account of the northern mers wanting some islands that were safe for them. Barclay decided you needed to know.”

“Thank you, Barclay. And thank you Mrs, um?”

“Cobb. But just call me Mama. Now, rest of you get, we need to haul supplies off that boat and Barclay needs some time with his fella.”

When the door of the small cabin closes, Stern reaches out, stroking Barclay’s coppery beard, “Why did you save me?”

“Because you’re a good guy. And, well, I care about you a lot. I like you even more. I couldn’t just leave you to die.”

This time, Stern weeps, with relief and exhaustion and the ghosts of his fear. Shivers even as tears dot his pillow. 

“Shhh, shhhhh it’s okay, I mean it this time. You still cold?”

Stern nods and Barclay tosses another blanket on top of him in bed. When the next wave of tears clear, the larger man is down to long underwear.

“May I?” He points to bed, and Stern weakly lifts the covers. Barclay climbs beneath them, wraps Stern in his arms, body flooding him with warmth and safety. 

“Been wanting to do this since that first day, but mer bodies aren’t great for keeping humans dry and warm. Kinda damp.”

“All-” Stern yawns, “all the same, I would like the chance to explore yours in more detail some day.”

“You got it.” Barclay hesitates, then kisses Stern’s temple, “but right now, time for you to rest. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning. Raw, decapitated fish aside, I’m a damn good cook. Any requests?”

“Eggs. Good lord I’ve missed eggs.”

“Think I can rustle something up. Heh, that tickles.” He chuckles when  Stern rubs his cheek against the exposed patch of dark-haired chest. 

“It won’t for long. I’ll be clean shaven as soon as I can hold a razor without shaking. You think I’m handsome now, just wait til you see me well fed and groomed.”

“Looking forward to it.” A kiss on the cheek, then snowflake-light on his lips, “ goodnight Joseph. You’re safe here, I’ll see to it. And I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”

“Just like old times.” Stern says, only half-joking.

Another, tender kiss, “Yep, just like old times.”

[self-ship-angel]

Not a request, but I wanna say hello and hope you're having a good day / evening; I wanna hear more about your selfship with Inuyasha if that's alright, anything on the top of your head. ^ ^

OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS SO SWEET :((

nobody ever wants to hear me gush- thank you so much hhhhhh 💕💞💖💝💗💞💖

OK UHM so i first watched the anime when i was 12 and instantly fell in love with the dumb dumb boy, i would pretend to be him (in my big old poofy sweatpants and a pencil as his tetsusaiga) and id also pretend to be kagome, so that hed love me hehe

i kinda forgot about the show as i grew up (im 17 now lol), casually rewatching it but never really paying attention? i still loved him but i was in a really bad place, but about a year and a half ago (or more haha i am rlly bad with time) i rewatched it and ohmy- GOD- !!

i instantly remembered the amount of love i had for this idiot and began shipping myself with him, i didnt know that i could call him my f/o or that there was a whole self shipping community!! i only told my closest friends because i thought it was cringey haha.. but my friends were supportive!! even drawing he and i together 🥺

okok lemme talk about why i love him so much,,

his development: in the beginning of the series he was so selfish and only wanted to become a full demon. but with my (kagome doesnt exist, only me 💫) and our friends help, he slowly loves himself for the half demon he is, he doesnt feel salty towards humans anymore, he begins to tolerate his brother, and! he is more mature. ive loved him throughout the whole show tho x3!!

HIS FACE: oh my gOHD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I- ok so,, he has a few scars on his cheeks, jawline, and neck from battles. that doesnt stop me from cupping his dumb little face and kissing his nose, cheeks, forehead, EVERYWHERE! his golden eyes are so gorgeous i can get lost in them... same with his brown eyes as human and blue yokai eyes.... his lips are soft 🥺 even though i do have to remind him to use chapstick, to which he complains haha.. hes just so cute!!!! his little ears!!!!!!!!!!! are so soft!!!! theyre ticklish and he HATES it when i touch them... but sometimes i just cant resist <3<3<3

the way he casually shows me that he cares: inuyasha grew up bullied and ostracized for just being a half demon, he was forced to not get close to anyone just so he would be safe :( even though he has gotten better at opening up to people and trusting others, he still has a hard time with saying "i love you" n shit like that ... n that's ok !! i know he cares about me :> the way hes so protective of me, especially when we would be battling, always giving me the robe of the firerat to stay safe. the way he gets so jealous when koga/any dude hits on me, i only have eyes for him of course!! he picks me flowers and weeds, he told me that he doesnt really see the difference 🥺 he holds my hand, gives me the biggest hugs all the time, brings me dried foods, ETC IM SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS IS AAAA

the way hes such a fucking idiot: HES SO DUMB BUT IM IN LOVE WITH HIM EEP!!!!!!!! i love everything about him!!! except his whole thing with kikyo :( it makes me so unbelievably jealous, angry, and sad >:( but it's okay because he loves me :>

okay thank you so much for asking this!!! it means so much to me!!!!!!! thank you :( 💖💕💞💝💖💕

[wilhellmine]

Get to know me - Alphabet

DAY 26 - Z

1) Zak Bagans

Of course I cant miss this wonderful man <3 Zak is one of my biggest loves! My boo, my baby boy (who is older than me, but who cares, he still is my baby boy :D ) Many people think that he is a macho, but I dont. I actually think that he isnt confident at all, he just wears a mask for people, because he has trust issues and he is afraid to show his true self - which is a thing that I know very good in fact, people diagnosed with anxiety or depression do that often. I also dont believe when people say that he isnt behaving good - well, sometimes he can, but arent we all just humans? Dont we all have our own flaws? I see Zak as an extremely beautiful person with soooo pretty eyes and a wonderful smile and I would soooo love to talk to him in person. And, like Im always saying, the way he loves his dog... and the way he behaves to every animal the crew meets on investigations... you cant be a bad person if you love animals. And I dont think its a crime to love animals more than people, I do love animals more then humans too :D I also think that he is very good at what he is doing, I mean - the spiritual stuff and he tries to help people who are in problems and are dealing with dangerous and dark stuff. Anyway... Zak Bagans is one of my biggest crushes <3 When he smiles, I smile, when he is sad, I am sad. And Im soooo, soooooo happy that he got better in these day, it seems that he is slowly getting over what happened with Nick and he laughs more often, makes jokes and he is getting back to his old self, which I am very happy about <3 I think he is a good man, that is just trying to hide his insecurities, if he would be so bad as people claim him to be, everyone would leave the crew, not just Nick. And, btw, I would sooo love to watch a documentary narrated by Zak about something... common, like... I dont know, horses or bears or flowers in the wild or something :D that would be totally awesome! I love his voice soooo much <3 And Im proud to say that my baby daughter obviously likes it too, because she was "watching" a few eps with us and whenever Zak started to talk, she calmed down, so... yep, definitely a charming voice :D

2) Zaaron

OOOOH YEEEEEAAAAAH!!!! Im more and more into Zaaron since Nick left. I feel that Aaron is the right one for Zak, which could be seen in my What Lies In The Dark fic, especially in the way I ended it. I wanted the fic to end in a different way, but I changed my mind. NAK is my OTP forever, but... Aaron is able to make Zak laugh, to comfort him and it actually can be seen during the episodes, its pretty clear that Aaron is the one that made Zak feel better. Aaron, who was a scaredy cat, never left, he never left Zak alone (and I hope he wont do that now as he has a GF). I was in shock when I found out that Aaron has a GF which he is going to marry, but, you know... I dont care, I still ship it :D

3) Zilly

Oh my, this is one of the cutest ships ever! Billy and Zak are always teasing each other and making jokes and I feel like Billy is the only one who is allowed to make fun of Zak :D

4) Zay

Oooh, my newest religion! Such an underrated ship!! Jay and Zak are now closer and closer and you can see it clearly while watching the screaming room episodes! Zak caressing Jays hair, Jay being the only one who doesnt make fun of Zak... yep! Thats why Im writing a Zay fanfic right now :)

5) Zakota

Um... did I really mention all of the ships that involve Zak? :D Yes, I did XD Zakota is a fine daddy-baby boy ship :) I made a vid for this ship, you can watch it here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CoQeWfpWd4

6) Zombies

I like zombies, though I am afraid that something like a zombie apocalypse will happen one day. I sometimes have really scary dreams, in which Zombies are chasing me and they want to bite me, Im always like "ok, bastard, bite me finally, I want to end this all", but then, when the zombie gets to close, I always start running again, so... I think it means that even when Im tired and hopeless the most, I never give up :) I like Zombie comedies more than horror movies. My fav Zombie movie is "Shaun of the dead" :)

7) Zucchini

My fav vegetable! Im happy that my daughter likes it too, she tried zucchini as the second vegetable after pumpkin and she fell in love with it right away :)

[rendevok]

are you still working on plenty of fish in the sea? I love your art style and the story's so cute ^^

Hi, dear anon. Thank you so much, I'm glad you seemed to like that particular project! However, I regret to inform that i dont really intend to finish the story any longer. It HAS been a year now after all, so my style and interests have vastly changed.

Still, i do believe i owe it to those interested to explain the story as it would have played out (in fact i had a stream on instagram last month where i explained it some), so without further ado... here is the story of Plenty of Fish in the Sea...

-

The story had been organized into words & themes, as you may have noticed. So here is that list and then, my notes on the projected story that eventually devolve into my specific brand of storytelling and very poorly thought out (but cheesy) dialogue. Try your best not to judge me since it would have likely been altered and improved once i worked my way through it, and keep in mind i am 100% an amateur.

cover/prologue

drown/savior

waking up/scale

sighting/caught - (i made it this far in terms of finished/posted art!)

storm/plunge

marooned/together

wound/care

curious/weak

gift/open

missing/heart to heart

ship in the night/hostage

in knots/jailbreak

savior/drown (ll)

scale/waking up (ll) - ^these were intentional mirrors of the first 2 main parts

heart on a string

plenty of fish in the sea

Here are my notes that follow these themes:

The story with a prologue, wherein, a young Lance saves a young Keith from drowning, and Keith is left with the memory of a boy and a brilliantly colored scale

Ffwd to the future, Keith is a sailor (not a captain, sorry) who is secretly hunting this mer with the scales that are impossibly valuable (or so he’s been told his whole life). Sure being a pirate gets him some riches but nothing like what the whole tail of scales would! Keith is not truly sure why he’s spent so much of his life fixated on this scale, but he has. So he’s done everything in his power to learn about mer people (what little there is known) to be able to properly track down and capture this mer.

One stormy night he is disturbed from his slumber, called to the deck for help and soon enough he sees the cause for alarm - a mer has been caught in their nets while the storm tossed it about. And of course its not just any mer, it’s the mer. Keith, being Keith, does what he can in the moment - he attempts to cut the nets free of the ship (after all, this is HIS mer to catch), but not a moment after succeeding in his attempt, the sloshing throws him overboard, and soon enough, he falls prey to the violent crashing of waves, sending him into a chilly darkness.

When he awakens, he finds himself on a shore, and soon enough he realizes its an island - he is in fact, marooned. He does what he knows he should first- look for sources of fresh water and food. He has some luck with the food, though not so much with the water (that has him concerned but not entirely hopeless). In his wanderings about the island, he finds that he is not alone. The merman is there with him, which would be a curious thing, were it not for the nets he’s still tangled in and a wide gash across his back. He attempts to approach to appraise the damage more closely, but is met with the hostile hissing of the merman. Keith does his best to try and reason with him, but he simply does not want his help

However, Keith is not really one to let things be. Never has been. He finds his own food, and a small amount of water. He offers some to the mer (who has managed to untangle himself, though still very much injured) responding with only hisses and glares. Keith leaves the food within reach. This process continues for a day or so, before the mer finally gives in and accepts the food. Keith finally asks again if he can help. The mer declines.

So this continues- Keith offers what food he can, the mer picks what he wants and leaves the rest. After a week of this, the mer disappears from his spot, and Keith assumes he’s finally left, only he is met with the mer in a different shore of the island (the one he had been spending his nights)

Now that he is mobile he seems much happier (though maybe not 100% active). He talks with Keith, and Keith cant really do much about it. He asks him things about humans, showing much more interest in humans than his first impression let on. Keith has his own burning questions, but most of them stem from all that time convincing himself he wanted to find this very mer and skin him alive.... kinda hard to imagine doing when he’s becoming much more human. Lance (as he has finally given his name) finally admits he cannot leave because he is still recovering. He can fish for small kills around the island, but he cant leave and swim out in the open ocean just yet. Keith internally feels a stone drop in his stomach. If only he had such a positive future to look forward to.

One day, Keith brings Lance a handful of oysters to feast on, and during he finds none other than a pearl tucked in the muscle of his meal. He is less ecstatic than Keith, who offers how rare and precious they are to humans. Lance gives him the pearl, which he tucks away with the scale that he keeps tucked by his heart in a small container on a string. Keith smiles quite a bit after receiving this gift, and Lance is left to feel conflicting positive emotions over it.

One sunset, after a quiet day (from Lance, he hadnt been very talkative) Keith notices him resting over by some rocks, back turned to Keith. Keith approaches and before he can keep Keith from seeing, he sees Lance is playing with a blank spot in his scales. Keith knows just what is missing but he asks whats wrong anyway. Lance is nervous but he responds: He lost a scale. He was still very young, and he saved a human from drowning - something he was scolded for back then. Interacting with humans is forbidden, but Lance wasnt about to let some kid like him die. However, while not completely unheard of for mer, losing a scale so young was not a good thing. He often felt ashamed for that blank spot in his tail - a reminder that he was missing a piece of himself - and this was just one of those times. Keith sits close and offers his condolences, and continues to say that saving someone was very kind and heroic of him - he only wishes humans were so kind to him as child. He lived most of his life as an orphan, finding a mentor only to have him leave on a ship and never return. Lance is sad to hear this. He misses his family right now, sure, but he knows he will find his way back. He will never miss them like Keith misses his. Lance might have a missing scale, but its nothing compared to the love Keith has been missing nearly all his life.

And so, tied up in the depths of Sendak ship, Keith sits with his guilt. He got Lance caught by the most ruthless hunters out there and was helpless to do anything about it. And he... he thinks that he would rather see Lance free. He’s a person, and he cares more than anyone he has ever met. He has a family. His life is worth more than anything a king could offer for his scales. He’s irreplaceable - especially to Keith. But now.. there isn’t hope. He’s stuck, and probably falling for a merman whos about to get skinned alive. He sheds a tear, hoping beyond anything that Lance somehow manages to escape.

Not a moment later, someone bursts through the door: Shiro. Keith is shocked to say the least, as is Shiro, but there really isn’t much time to spare seeing as how he’s being broken out. Keith grabs his belongings from the corner and shuffles out with him to the deck, where they emerge into the fray. Keith can see that all the mer are being kept on deck in cages, and sets off, blazing a trail through the fighting to go and free them.

He breaks through every chain, telling the mer to leave as soon as they can, he finally makes his way to Lance, who had been set apart from the others. Its closer to sendak, who is crossing swords with shiro. He slices through the chain one last time, freeing Lance, who is startled and tries to speak, but before he can, keith is being affronted by Sendak. They lock swords, Keith pushed to the rail, barely holding off. Sendak suddenly hisses - lance has picked up a sword and swiped at the back of his legs. Keith thinks this is his moment to slip from this position, but before he can move, Sendak kicks the wind out of him, and sends him overboard. He crashes into the icy waves, quickly choking on the water and struggling to find which way is up. Slowly, he chokes, he sinks, and finally, he gives into the creeping darkness. He sees a faint flash before his vision fades to black and he loses consciousness. At least, he thinks, that Lance has a chance at freedom.

To say he is surprised he opens his eyes again is an understatement. The sun glares and makes his head ache, his lungs and throat are sore and raw from the seawater, breathing is painful, but he’s alive. The sun is suddenly not so bright, and when he tries to see why- Lance is above him blocking it out. It reminds him of when he had been saved before. Lance is saying his name and it’s like an angel calling to him.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

Lance makes a confused coo “I’m pretty sure the last time, you were the one to find me.”

Keith lets out a small laugh, which is painful, so he smiles instead. “I was the child you saved. Thats what i was trying to tell you before...”. When he looks at Lance, even in his tired state he can see the wheels turning in Lance’s head. Keith sits up, to face him better.

“I didn’t know for sure until you told me you saved a human all that time ago. If you’re not convinced, I think this should be convincing enough” and he pulls his little bottle out to let it display it’s contents: the pearl, and of course, a glimmering scale, it’s beauty only rivaled by the tail it once was a part of, sitting a few feet away.

“You-”

Keith opens the bottle, and takes it out, to hold and admire in his open palm.

“For a long time, this was my only belonging. People tried to take it, to buy it from me. They told me it was worth more money than i could ever imagine, but... I could never bring myself to sell it.” He looks up then to see Lance stunned into silence. Keith smiles, in a sorrowful sort of understanding. “I’m glad I didn’t.”

He then holds his hand out to Lance, offering him the scale he said was like a missing piece of him.

Lance lifts shaky hands and settles them on Keith’s one, not touching the scale. Keith continues:

“Thank you, Lance. For saving me then, and now.”

After a long moment of silence between them (the shushing of the beach hardly audible) Lance finally speaks.

“I never thought I’d see this again,” he speaks quietly, as he stares down at his scale in Keith’s hand. “But knowing that you found it, cherished it, took care of it, and kept it safe.... I know it’s where it belongs.”

Lance gently closes Keith’s palm around the scale and kisses his knuckles. “Keep it,” Lance looks up, and when he looks into Keith’s eyes, its like he can feel his heart and soul pouring out, “and promise me you’ll think of me every once in a while.” Lance smiles rather sadly.

Gaze flicking back to his hand, where the scale lies, Keith’s heart flutters at the implication behind his action, but stutters at the thought of Lance going away forever (as the words seemed to imply). He takes a deep breath, looks back into Lance’s eyes, their depths calling to him, as though this is the only moment he will ever have to express himself. Maybe it is. His hand reaches up to caress his face, and hold his gaze.

“You’ve saved me from drowning twice. I could hardly manage to forget you before I really even knew you. I’ve been looking for you for what feels like my whole life, and now that I’ve found you... you think i could somehow manage to not think of you every day?” Keith leans in, and kisses his cheek.

“I’ll always have a piece of you here,” he brings his closed fist to his chest, “right by my heart. I am the one who should ask to be remembered.”

“Though...” his thoughts trail as he looks down at Lance’s lips, “I selfishly wish I wouldn’t have to.” Lance breaks his stunned silence, hand coming up to hold Keith’s on his cheek. “Keith....”

Keith lets out a small pained laugh as his heart constricts, removing his hand to help replace the scale to its place in the bottle, and around his neck. He looks at it fondly and softly speaks, “There is this saying we have - about finding love - ‘There are plenty of fish in the sea’ -and it’s true. There are plenty of people I could learn to love, but... the one I want is you.”

The relief Lance feels upon hearing this has his heart swelling, pushing him forward to crash their lips together. Keith is startled at first, but quickly melts into the kiss, moving to wrap his arms around Lance’s neck. They kiss until Keith feels like he’s drowning again, though this time he’s not opposed to it.

And THAT, dear anon, is why you should never be afraid to ask questions. I hope this maybe gave you a little peace, a laugh, something to stir your little klancer heart.