#i am one happy camper fellas | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skullrock · 4 years ago

Text

the campers, chapter one - Steve x Reader

chapter one: the enemies

series summary:Steve gets a job as a camp counselor at Camp Know Where, intending on using the summer to discover himself. When things start to go wrong at camp, the only people that can help him are the Party, Hopper, and his mortal enemy - you. [Enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort]

chapter summary: You and Steve unfortunately reunite for the first time in five years.

warnings: swearing!

word count: 1.6k

a/n: alright fellas, I am back with another longfic! this one is a summer camp au. this chap is mainly exposition but it’ll flesh out in the next chapter. hope you are ready to go on this ride w me!

===

Steve isn’t quite sure what he signed up for.

“Steve, you have to,” Dustin pleaded with him a month ago. “There aren’t enough counselors, and if there aren’t enough counselors, then there’s no camp.”

Steve rolled his eyes, bit his heart was sympathetic. “Why is that my problem?”

Dustin sighed, frustrated. “Because we’re best friends, and you’re supposed to help your friends when they need it.”

Steve rolled his eyes again as he contemplated the scenario. Steve had gone to camp when he was younger, but it was nothing like Camp Know Where. Steve’s parents had sent him off to a summer camp that some other Hawkins parents sent their kids to. Tommy H. had always gone, as well as some other boys Steve grew up with. He enjoyed his time there – it was always pleasant and fun. Just a boy doing boy things with his shitty friends. But Camp Know Where had a purpose. Steve didn’t know the first thing about science. Dustin said that could be used to his advantage - Steve wasn’t so sure.

“What’s in it for me?” Steve asked, unpeeling an orange as he leaned against the kitchen counter in his apartment.

“The camp is right on a lake,” Dustin began. “It’s a great spot for swimming and kayaking. You don’t know shit about science, so this is an opportunity to learn. And some of the camp counselors are babes.”

Steve snorted. “What are they, forty-five?”

“Uh, no? They’re your age?”

Steve’s brows shot up at the mention. “You’re saying there are babes I have a chance with there?”

“They’re apparently not your type, ya know, since you hate nerds.” Dustin shrugged his shoulders, but Steve was still very, very interested.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“And, anyway, you can lead the sports and adventures and hikes and stuff, if you don’t like science. And it’s a nice way to get away from Hawkins for a few months.”

Steve nodded thoughtfully. “Is it paid?”

“You get a stipend of two hundred a month.”

Steve nearly choked on his orange. “Two hundred dollars a month?!”

“And your food is paid for. So is your laundry and housing. It’s free.” Dustin grinned smugly at Steve, and Steve held his hand out.

“You got a deal,” he said. “I’ll do it.”

Steve went through a phone interview and Dustin wrote him a glowing recommendation. And here he is, a month later, driving towards Michigan with Dustin in the passenger seat and multiple suitcases in the back. Steve was required to come two weeks early to learn the ropes, while Dustin was allowed to come early because he was a designated Camp Leader, along with Suzie and some others.

“They call us the ‘Know Everythings’,” Dustin beams.

“Sounds like they’re trying to call you smartasses,” Steve responds, staring absentmindedly out the windshield. Dustin’s smile drops and Steve’s widens. “Don’t worry, Dusty-bun, your girlfriend likes it.”

Dustin slams himself back against the seat, looking out the window. “Should’ve never invited you.”

“Too late.”

Steve was excited beyond the nerves. He had needed some type of self-intervention and introspection after the last three years. He needed a way to mend the emotional scars that the Upside Down and Nancy had left. Dustin had said there were a lot of authors and poets who wrote about the healing power of nature. Steve’s not sure it’s legit, but it’s more hope than he’s had in a while. Robin had also insisted it would be good for Steve to get away from town and try to find himself. So Steve is going into it with an open mind, trying to fight his negative side with suffocating positivity.

You, on the other hand, knew exactly what you’d signed up for.

You had gone to camp when you were younger, too. Except you hated that camp with a passion. Each summer, you’d cry to your parents as June rolled around. You didn’t want to go back to that stupid, hot, ridiculous camp, where a certain group of boys made your life hell. But your parents insisted it was good for you, and they sent you until you were too old to go. In a way, they were right; the camp had taught you to stand up for yourself. It gave you the confidence and self-love a lot of people didn’t have. But you certainly wished you’d found all of that in a healthier way - not because boys would steal your clothes when you were swimming at night, leaving you to walk to your cabin naked.

So, you signed up to help out at Camp Know Where two years ago because you loved science and the outdoors, and you wanted to facilitate a healthy self-love journey for the campers. You wanted to help teach them how to be themselves, to love themselves, to stick up for themselves. And, truth be told, nerds need that kind of reassurance. You’re a nerd – you’d know.

You came to camp two weeks early to help train the new counselors. You didn’t get the list of names, but if you had, you would have run away as soon as your eyes landed on Steve Harrington.

It was, by all accounts, a beautiful June day. Not too hot, not too cool. The breeze rustled the leaves and the waves of the lake lapped the shoreline. Not a cloud in the bright blue expanse above the camp, which was buzzing with Camp Leaders and trainees. You stood at the entrance, helping direct people to the registration table. You were excited to see some of your favorites again – especially Suzie and Dustin. They’d been campers you bonded with last year, and you were ready to see them again.

Suzie came by first, adorably excited to see Dustin when he arrived. “He said he’s bringing a friend to help be a counselor, do you know them?”

“Oh, I have no clue,” you remark. “Do you know their name?”

“Steve, something? They’re pretty close.”

The name Steve had always left a bitter taste in your mouth, so you visibly cringe. Suzie’s brows furrow but you assure her you’re fine. It can’t be that Steve. There’s no way the Steve you knew at Camp Golden Rays was about to come here, to a nerd-infested camp, to help out with kids. No way.

You continue to greet campers and new counselors as they come. During a lull, you lean against the picket fence that lined the entrance, looking out at the parking lot. You see a nice BMW come into view – it’s not one you’d seen before. Must be someone new, you think, pushing yourself up off the fence to greet them.

The first person you notice is Dustin, easily recognizable despite the hat covering his curly hair. He’s taller than the last time you’d seen him – kids grow up so fast. You smile brightly, happy for him to finally arrive, but your smile plummets comically as you see the next person step out.

It’d been 5 years since you’d seen Steve Harrington, and his hair had grown out and his body had toned, but it was unquestionably him. Steve, that stupid, smug bastard. That idiotic jerk who used to smack your lunch tray and trip you. That moron who all the girls swooned over and excused countless times for shitty behavior.

Here he is, at Camp Know Where – a place you never thought you’d ever see him.

Of course, Steve doesn’t know who you are, at first. His concussions had clouded his memory, only remembering bits and pieces. It takes work for him to remember who people are, or what things happened. Most of his memories of Camp Golden Rays are intact, but he had severely repressed his shitty tween behavior. As he approaches, all he really thinks about is that Dustin was right, there were babes here.

“Y/N!” Dustin calls out, running awkwardly with his trunk to come hug you. You hug him, but your eyes stay on Steve, who beams at you as if he didn’t ruin your whole life.

“Look who it is.” Your voice is cold and monotonous.

Steve stops dead in his tracks, confusion twisting on his face. What now? he thinks. This isn’t the first time he’s forgotten who someone was. But then it hits him, and the realization nearly sweeps him off his feet. Regret, remorse, guilt, and anger rip through him as he remembers you. You, who he used to shove. You, who he used to laugh at. There’s still a part of him that feels that hatred for you, deep down, and he tries to shove it away.

“Jesus Christ,” he says under his breath, before loudly saying, “Hi, Y/N.”

Dustin’s brows knit together, and he looks between you two. He can assume that you both have a history. Steve probably stood you up or something. Slowly, he asks, “You two…?”

“Nice car,” you quip. “Daddy buy that for you?”

“Nice to see you, too,” Steve responds, dragging his feet towards you. There’s a lot of things he wants to say – that he’s sorry, that you look really good now, that he’s changed. But it all rests at the base of his throat. His mouth opens and closes a few times.

“Can someone please explain?” Dustin says.

“You’re friends with this asshat?” You ask Dustin, gesturing to Steve. “Like, actual friends with him?”

“Guilty,” Dustin says sheepishly. He’ll fill you in on Steve’s growth later. “Let’s go find Suzie, Steve.”

And despite your apprehension towards each other, you and Steve share the same thought – This is going to be a long summer.

===

taglist (join here!): @harringtown @heart-eye-harrington @rosecolouredboi @comedy-witch @lovesong-remastered

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington au #stranger things fic #stranger things au #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #the campers #working on a playlist!!!

229 notes · View notes

brokenmusicboxwolfe · 4 years ago

Text

Happy as I am at the news (and when have “happy” and “news” been said together this year), I want to warn folks that the rifts in reationships won’t be healed quickly, and possibly ever.

Two examples from the Bush/Gore election:

My family never had much luck with friends around here, but they did have this one couple. They were friends enough to exchange Christmas presents every year and came over for Pop’s birthday, so proper friends and not just friendly acquaintances. Sure, our politics and theirs were very different, but they had common causes they worked on. The differences didn’t keep them from being friends.

And then came the Bush vs Gore election.

Back then it was a tight race, with the counting taking time, and the court getting involved. It wasn’t as bad as now, not even close. Bush Jr wasn’t trying to undermine the concept of democracy like a certain fella. But November was still a tense month, full of raging emotions.

So, a few days into all this mess my family went shopping and bumped into the husband of the family we were friends with. Pop went over to chat with his friend, and when Pop came back he looked shocked. He said the guy was ranting about Gore “stealing” the election and was quite literally shaking with rage. Pop had never seen him like this, and the absolute fury startled him.

And that was sort of that. The couple avoided us. They ended the Christmas presents. They never came over anymore. We had to accept this. They wouldn’t be friends with liberals, a word used locally as an insult,

After a few months things calmed down, and after a periods of awkward polite “friendliness”, they became friendly acquaintances. They were never actual friends again.

The second case involves my Uncle David.

Now David was always a very conservative sort, and very much believed in conspiracy theories. For in instance, he honestly believed the Oklahoma City federal building explosion as the result of a black, female, national guard member suicide bombing so Clinton could put in martial law. He swallowed up everything extreme right wingers fed him. I am absolutely sure he would have been an enthusastic Trump supporter. Every family has one.

But he was also complicated. He was oblivious to his biases, and you can sort if see why. He would spout if racist things he thought were facts, that the people in his loopy church believed, but he’d also stop to help anyone in need regardless of race. He’d seem to forget, probably because he had an instinct to sweet and helpful. ** His beliefs were appalling and resistant to change, but he wasn’t a bad person when dealing with individuals.

He was also exhausting. David would invite himself over for every single holiday. He’s just call and say “We’re coming” and he and his wife would, whether you wanted him to or not, be there. We would then have to deal with them being there.

We had nothing in common. Politics, religion, taste in food, taste in movies.... For Mom’s sake Pop and I would try not to rise to bait when David would get in the mood to argue. His eyes would twinkle in delight at stirring us up, seeming to find it playful.

Exasperating as he was, the one thing we never doubted was his love. He’d say so, and we all believed he would do anything he could to help us if we were in need.

And then came the Thanksgiving of the Gore vs Bush race. were they stood us up.

He’d called to say they were coming, and we knew they had gotten here safely because we’d seen their camper at the usual place. Everything was ready. We’d decorated the house and Mom had made David’s favorite pie. And they didn’t show. My cousin, the other guest and a diabetic who had to eat on schedule, had to start snacking. We had no idea what was keeping them.

Worried Mom, sent Pop and I to check. People could be heard moving around in the camper, the voices of his wife’s young grandchildren barely audible, but no one answered the door. When reported this to Mom she sent us back...

We saw David this time, and it wasn’t a friendly encounter. When the door opened the wife was cooking Thanksgiving dinner, the kids (who usually adored me) were subdued, and David sat in the driver’s seat scowling out the windshield. He refused to turn his head, saying with real rage, that he couldn’t even look at someone that would vote for Gore...

And that’s how it went. We had never seen him like this before, and it was confusing. Our differing politics had been an irritant, but nothing we couldn’t put up with. We had bitten our tongues to keep the peace a thousand times, and now HE was angry at us for voting for the candidate he had always known we’d vote for? Mom was stunned, and then deeply hurt. The hurt turned to intense anger. He’d wounded her and she wasn’t ready to forgive. In fact, she had all of us, cousin and all, pack us and head to the beach after we ate to escape her feelings. She didn’t want to see him by that point.

That was it there too. No more birthday cards or Christmas presents. They stopped visiting, and infact it wasn’t until a funeral years later that we saw David again. And in those rare later encounters there was a space between us, a distance that wouldn’t be bridged again. Polite, friendly, but lacking closeness. David died a couple days after Mom’s stroke, and the rift had still never really been healed.

Remember, that was the year Bush actually won. We had not initiated the hostilities, having accepted our political differences long before, and would have been happy to go back to how we’d been.

Their candidate had won, and yet we held no personal grudge against them.

Their candidate had won, and they stayed angry at us anyway.

So, I’m saying, if Bush voters could break permenantly with friends and family that voted for Gore, this year will be worse. So much worse. Trump lost and he isn’t likely to bow out graciously. He’ll spout all sorts of lies to stir up his followers, keeping tensions up. Legally over isn’t the same as emotionally over. The relationship pains won’t be over for a long, long, LONG time.

** His mother, Grandma Moses, was even funnier about race. Her brain was wired in such a peculiar way I still can’t puzzle out, but one of her quirks seeming confused about race. She would say she was racist, while actually being astonishingly oblivious about race. She’s say she was racist, like a child happily parroting what folks around her said about themselves, which in a way was exactly what was happening. She wasn’t saying it because she thought about what it meant, but because the little old ladies in the senior citizens group and in her church said they were, and if they were she must be too.

#politics #election 2020 #elections

9 notes · View notes

medea10 · 5 years ago

Text

Medea Plays Animal Crossing New Horizons: Part III

Man dude, how you gonna wreck my perfect record with the ATM?!

Hey look, Mabel’s in town.

After you spend a certain amount of money or times you see her, she’s going to set up shop in your town.

In the meantime...

I’m getting along with my cheerful neighbors. This is my first time with many of them and they’re the most thoughtful...

Goddammit Maddie, why’d you have to get me a freaky-ass garden gnome?

Yeah, I’m not a fan of gnomes.

Get on with it Nook-boi. You know what I want.

That’s right, you do. BRING HER OUT!

THERE WE GO! Now island life is complete.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Seeing Isabelle first thing in the morning is just so...blissful.

With the addition of Isabelle and the new building, Tom Nook is making it his mission to make this island absolute perfection.

As soon as you get this feature, you’re able to build bridges, make inclines/stairs, and make your own town theme and town flag.

You know, I think it’s best I dig deep and do something different.

OR I can just do what I did in New Leaf and have The Simpson’s theme.

Yeah, this is The Simpsons theme. Have fun with it.

Although, I almost leaned into using Old Town Road, Careless Whisper, or Funkytown. You can find a bunch of youtube videos with samples.

Anyways, Tom’s biggest goal is to...

Yeah, that would be nice.

Speaking of K.K., my first night on the island, WHAT DID YOU PUT IN MY ORANGE JUICE, YOU RACOON BAST...

I want to stay mad at you for possibly drugging my drink on the first night, but now I’m just imagining Tom Nook in a karaoke bar with a drink in hand and a necktie around his head.

So let’s christen this new building and...

*sighs*

No originality to be found with me.

Oh well, I still love my Homer flag.

Damn Isabelle, sleeping on the job already.

And now Part IV of Medea vs. Evil Fucking Tarantulas.

Hey, I’m getting better at this!

Ah, feels like old times.

Wow, that was fast! Like...2 days?

Thankfully, you don’t have to fetch materials again since there’s enough material left from building Timmy and Tommy’s store. It’s just gonna take another two days.

OH, IT’S SUNDAY!

Oh, she’s so adorable. Especially when she was trying to remember everything her gram-gram told her to say.

And yes, I was right. Daisy Mae was trending on Twitter.

Rightfully so.

Just look at her! She’s the perfect hybrid of a Swinub and a Cubchoo.

Hey, I found Mr. Resetti.

Forgot to mention, with the new building comes a bunch of new crap you can buy using Nook Miles.

The next morning came with a few surprise visitors.

First, we’ve got C.J.

With my first interaction with this social media’d fella, if you give him three of the same fish, the next morning you’ll get a stand of that fish (in my case I gave him 3 sea bass). Second, he’ll ask you to do a challenge. Today’s case was catch three fish in a row that are smaller than a Surgeonfish.

After that, he’ll just buy any fish you give him at premium prices.

Oh, Imma get some moolah to pay for them inclines.

And my next visitor was a camper.

In order to get K.K. to come to town, we have to have more villagers. And in order to get more villagers, we need to have a campground so random passerbyers can come and maybe consider moving to your Podunk island.

My first camper is...

OH. MY...

HOLY...

Okay, calm down. I know you’ve been waiting for Olivia and/or Papi, but this is kind of a golden ticket.

Plus it’s a kitty. And I love kitties.

In case you haven’t seen Twitter recently, Raymond has kinda been...

That. He’s been that.

I don’t know if I’ll jump on the maid uniform bandwagon or not.

For now, I’ll let him be.

But he’s staying in Pallet.

YAY!

Sable and Mable are in my town. No word on Labelle...I think she might be much later in the game’s progression.

Don’t let that familiar line fool you.

Sable actually speaks more than Red from Pokemon.

I am loving their dressing room.

Yeah, this is exactly how I look in real life now. Except work doesn’t allow face masks yet.

I wonder if I keep talking to Sable day after day, she’ll acknowledge me like in the other games.

Back in the center of town, a new system is set in place for reviews of the town.

Yelpers.

Because of course fucking Yelpers.

On a positive note, I am now allowed to invite campers through the amiibo cards. I’m glad I held onto the amiibo cards I gained when I purchased Happy Home Academy five years ago.

Let’s have some fun with this system.

I know she’s literally right in front of me, but I have to see what happens.

That’s fine. You’ve got enough on your plate working under Tom.

Let’s see if I can add Isabelle’s brother Digby.

Worth a shot.

Okay, let’s be serious. Who can I invite? OH! I’ve got a kitty. It’s not Olivia, but he’ll do just fine.

So in order for an amiibo to stay as a resident, you have to invite him to the campground for three days in a row. AND you have to speak to him and build a DIY whatever he wants for all three days.

I’m sure Bob and Raymond will get along just fine...

Okay, got an idea. Give Bob a tuxedo and Raymond a wedding dress and have ourselves a good old-fashioned gay cat wedding.

Who’s with me? Yay or FUCK YAY?

As I head towards the final day of the month, I reflect on all the fish I’ve caught and those I haven’t caught. All the balloons that popped and flopped in the water. What to dress Raymond in. Lament on not catching a stringfish before the end of the 31st and now having to wait until December...because me fucking dumbass.

Time to say goodbye to March and say hello to April.

Yeah, it’s that special time where my island is going to have a visit from...

GOOD FUCK, NO!

I meant Zipper.

Zipper made sure to work out extra hard to dance a jig and make sure no one’s taking a peak at his backside.

There’s a fucking zipper there. What are you hiding, rabbit?

So we have to find eggs. Eggs are everywhere. They’re in the ground. They’re in the trees. They’re ON the trees.

They’re in the sky!

And even in the sea!

Collect eggs. LOTS OF EGGS. And recipes. LOTS OF RECIPES. So we can have an egg-tastic Easter...Bunny Day.

And when you’re out of sight, Zipper stops dancing and takes a smoke break.

I tried sneaking up on him, but he’s a fast fucker.

Back in the neighborhood...

I want Maddie’s donut.

Diva is still stylish, even on her evening walk.

I built a Sakura watching lunchbox.

I take pictures of cat butt.

Hey, that’s tame compared to the rest of the internet. So many bad and lewd things happened to Raymond’s asshole in the last week.

Look at him studying his flowers.

He’s a keeper.

Okay, I’m done for now.

To be continued.

#animal crosing new horizons #isabelle #sable #Mable #raymond #bob #tom nook #zipper t bunny

8 notes · View notes

queenlegacyproductions · 6 years ago

Text

Royally Bitter Tension

Summary: Riley Carter is back again in the Mixed Match Challenge to defend her crown as the first and reigning Mixed Mixed Challenge Champion. Unfortunately for The Goddess Queen, her partner Kevin Owens is currently out of action due to a severe knee injury caused by Bobby Lashley, one of her opponents in the first round, Country Dominance with Mickie James. In order for Riley to compete and defend her title as the Mixed Match Challenge Champion, she would have to team up with The Bruiserweight, Pete Dunne to do so. However, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. And it gets even harder when Riley tells him off one too many times about his bad attitude. Is the tension between The Raw Women’s Champion and The United Kingdom Champion really animosity?

‘I’m gonna kill both Bobby and that little mothball of his when I get my hands on them.’ Riley thought as she fiercely marched to the office of the acting general manager Baron Corbin with the fury only a Goddess Queen is capable of having after watching what had happened just a few minutes ago.

Bobby had attacked Kevin viciously after he beat him. But that’s not even the tip of the iceberg that sunk this whole Titanic into the sea of Bullshit. It was the news of Kevin cannot compete in The Mixed Match Challenge due to not one knee injury but two knee injuries.

Yeah, The Raw Women’s Champion is not a happy camper.

Riley finally makes it to Baron’s office when she walks in without knocking, seeing Baron texting.

“Corbin!” Riley yelled at him as she walks into his office. “You want to explain to me what the hell that was out there?!”

Baron rolls his eyes at the irate strawberry red headed woman that now stood in front of him. “Explain what, Riley?”

Riley sputtered in disbelief at his question. “Really? Did you not watch the show? The show that you’re running until Kurt comes back? And you’re helping the show run lot more smoothly than Kurt.” Riley guffaws sarcastically at the last statement. “Jesus christ.”

“I would watch what you say next, Riley.” Baron threatened her. “I don’t think Stephan-.”

“Corbin, stop. Stephanie doesn’t scare me. I scare her, okay? Pretty sure she wouldn’t want to confront me after the shit I put her through.” Riley laughed. “Besides, she’ll tell you that I’m not the one to try because I can be a pain in someone’s ass, especially ones of authority figures.” Riley warns him. This quiets the once-was lone wolf. “Now, be a good boy and tell me what do you plan on doing about lashley and that little moth of his?”

“Well, I’ll tell he can do.” An annoying voice said behind Baron. Riley rolled her eyes in annoyance as Lio Rush appeared behind Corbin with Bobby and Mickie behind him.

“What my man, the acting general manager of Raw can do is have my man, my man who looks like money and smells like money, the man that came back to dominate, my man Bobby Lashley and his Mixed Match Challenge partner Mickie James proceed in the tournament since you, Ms. Carter, do not have a tag team partner.”

“So you want me to forfeit?”

“That’s right.”

“Oh, you must be out of your damn mind if you think i’m gonna forfeit to those two losers behind you, ya little-.”

“Riley, stop it.” Baron cuts her off. “Lio does have a point. You don’t have a partner for the challenge. But i’m not gonna have you forfeit.” He said quickly before she could protest. “Instead, i’m gonna tell you who your partner will be for the Mixed Match Challenge.”

“Who?” Riley asked before there was a knock at the door. Baron smirks at her.

“I think it’s best if I showed you.” He tells her before he tells whoever’s at the door that it’s open. The door opens up to reveal Pete Dunne, Tyler Bate, and Trent Seven. Riley quirks up an eyebrow in confusion.

“British Strong Style?” She asked.

“One member of the British Strong Style will be your partner for the Mixed Match Challenge since the NXT UK division will be apart of the Raw brand. And since Tyler and Trent are currently busy with the tag team tournament that’s taking place tomorrow, that leaves Pete to be your partner.” Baron explained. Lio laughs at the news.

“Really? You’re gonna have Pete team with Riley?” Lio laughs. “You sure you don’t want to forfeit?” Before Riley could respond to the Man of The Hour, a voice beats her to it.

“That’s a good question, Rush.” Pete spoke as he stood beside Riley, title over his shoulder. “You sure you guys don’t want to forfeit before we break your fingers?” The question made Riley snicker.

“I think you should be careful, Bobby. This one likes to bite.” She playfully warns him with a giggle. Bobby steps closer to Riley threateningly but Pete steps in front of her. The two men stare each other before Bobby and Co. walk away. Riley and the boys leave as well. As the fellas start to walk away from her, she speaks up to Pete.

“Hey, Pete.” She says as she grabs his arm. He turns around, annoyed at the contact. Riley quickly releases her grip on his arm, suddenly intimidated. “I just wanted to say thank you for standing up for me in there. I appreciate it.” Pete then turns to face her head on.

“I wasn’t standing up for you. I didn’t want them getting any ideas that they should take me lightly. I was making a statement, not watching your back.” Pete said with a harsh edge to his words. The gaze he held on her made her nervous which she hated thus pissing her off.

“Hey, no need to get snippy, Sourpuss.” She snapped at him. “In case you haven’t noticed, we’re gonna be teammates which means we have to get along. And in order for this ship to sail in Shit’s Creek properly, I’mma need for you to check yo attitude before ya board because it ain’t allowed on Captain Carter’s Ship Of No Bullshit. Okay, Sweetiekins?” She asked him before she twists her face in a snarl. She didn’t wait for him to answer as she turns around and walks away from him, hips swaying fiercely as she heads over to her locker room. Pete’s upper lip turns up into a similar snarl as he watches her walk away from him as Tyler and Trent laugh at him.

“That’s like the first time I ever have heard absolute silence from you in a confrontation.” Tyler says as he laughs harder with Trent.

“Shut up.” Pete mutters lowly in his deep voice and walks away from his best friends who were still laughing like hyenas.

The next day, Pete arrives at the arena. Since Riley told him off, The two members of Mustache Mountain had noticed that Pete hasn’t been the same since then. The man was more non-approachable than ever before. He’d grunt a response for every question thrown at him more so than usual. The 5’5” Goddess Queen had rubbed The Bruiserweight the wrong way. Pete had walked into his locker room, shut and locked the door as he shed his street clothes and snapback to get ready for the mixed tag match. His mind then goes back to Riley.

‘Just who the hell she thinks she is? She thinks she can talk to me in any kind of way?’ He thought as he walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He growled as he remembers the confrontation between him and his tag team partner.

‘Fucking woman with her big mouth, her attitude. But she is cute.’ Pete smirks at he remembers her shape. ‘Her lips, her tits, her hips, her ass, her thighs. Everything about her is so plump. I just wanna bite all of it. Just eat her up. Maybe she’d be less attitudinal when I’m head first between them thighs.’ Pete chuckles at the thoughts of her as his early Thanksgiving meal as he strips out the rest of his clothing and gets in the shower. Meanwhile, Riley was in her locker room, changing into her costume ring gear that was inspired by DC Character Zatanna Zatara. As she grabs her top hat, there was a knock on her door.

“It’s open!” She yelled out as she dusts off her hat. She turns around to see Tyler and Trent walk in. “Oh, hey fellas.” She walks over to Tyler to hug him before she goes to hug Trent. “Where’s Pete?” She asked.

Tyler sighs before he answers. “Pete’s here but he’s a little more bitter than usual. I think he really didn’t like being told off like that.” Riley rolls her eyes at the news.

“Well, he better start liking it. I heard of his bad attitude before. I’m not dealing with his attitude nor am I babysitting his goddamn ego. It’s hard enough work to properly stroke and maintain my own damn ego.” This gets a chuckle from another voice. The trio turns towards the door to see Pete standing at the door with a smirk.

“I’m pretty sure that’s true, Carter.” He said as he steps into the room. He stops right in front of her.“But you are aware of pride coming before the fall, aren’t ya sweetheart?” he asked, his tone getting lowly in a threatening yet teasing tone in his voice. He smirks as he notices her shiver at the question but just as quick she shivered, her brown eyes lit up with fury.

“Oh, I know, Petey. That’s why I’m the Raw Women’s Champion and I won it in the first tournament that Raw had when it was first vacated. Until some people who lost in the first-ever United Kingdom Championship Tournament to his best friend in the finals.” Riley gives him a sickly sweet smile as she speaks her words of venom at the current United Kingdom Champion. Pete squares up his shoulder as his upper lip turns up, that signature snarl of his making its presence be known. Despite that feeling of intimidation coming to rear its ugly head back in her mind, she pushes it down as she smirks at the now fuming Bruiserweight. She tilts her head to the side in a feint innocent motion.

“Aww, what’s the matter, sourpuss?” Riley says the mocking nickname like Daffy Duck this time. “Don’t like me taking the piss out of ya? It gets under your skin, doesn’t it? You want to hit me, do ya?” She asked, taunting him. Pete steps closer to her, their faces now just at least than an inch away from each other. They hold that position for a few moments before a stagehand knocks on the door. Pete ends up growling at the poor soul before he stomps out of the room to head for gorilla. Trent and Tyler looks to Riley with deep concern. Riley playfully rolls her eyes at the two men’s faces.

“If things go right, Petey will be so mad at me to the point that he takes it out on little Bob.” Riley smirks at the two brits before she grabs her title and walks over to gorilla. She wraps her title around her waist before she hears the first few notes of Six Shooter by Coyote Kisses rattles the arena to its core at the crowd’s reaction. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkFZn4oPMqE

“And here comes the first ever Mixed Challenge Champion. The Raw Women’s Champion. The Goddess Queen, Riley Carter.” Michael said at the commentary.

“Riley, the champ, here to defend her crown here tonight…” Renee said as Pete’s theme song plays as Riley waits on the stage for him, smirking at Country Dominance. “....but she has new backup in the form of The United Kingdom Champion.”

“That’s right, Renee. It’s not Kevin Owens, her original partner since Kevin suffered severe injuries in both knees at the hands of one Bobby Lashley who Pete will face tonight on Mixed Match Challenge.” Vic said as Pete did his usual bit with his fists to his chin with the title between his teeth as Riley takes off her hat, giving the crowd a bow before she puts it back on.

“The two teams facing off against each other tonight are Country Dominance, the team of Mickie James and Bobby Lashley and The new team of Pete Dunne and Riley Carter who calls themselves The Bruiser Legacy.” Michael speaks as Riley sits on the ring ropes as Pete poses again in the ring right beside her. They both looked at each other with a smirk as Pete helped her inside the ring, glancing at her ass as she steps inside.

Riley and Pete managed to take control of the match since Peter bend, yanked, snapped, stomped, and even bit Bobby’s fingers in the very beginning of the match. However, Lio had distracted him which allowed Bobby to take control for the rest of the match but Riley turns the tides when she tagged herself in much to Pete’s displeasure. At some point in the match, she manages to tag Pete back in who takes the reins smoothly from where Riley left off, gaining some much needed momentum. Pete was setting up for the bitter end when Lio got on the apron to distract the ref. As Lio was distracting the ref, Riley quickly dispatches of Mickie at ringside as she slides in the ring. Riley then picks up Bobby and sets him up and hits her version of the GTS which causes Bobby to pop up to his feet which allows Pete to hit the Bitter End for the victory for The Bruiser Legacy. While Riley goes to raise Pete’s hand in victory, he snaps away from her.

��What the hell was that, Carter?!” He yelled at her. Riley rolls her eyes at him.

“A victory, Petey. You know winning?” she sarcastically replied.

“I meant that GTS, Carter. I didn’t need that! I had him-”

“-Almost beat us! Yeah, I noticed that. That’s why i got involved. After all, I was just making a statement.” Riley snapped at him using his words. “And my statement is that in this partnership, I am the one wearing the pants, okay? After all, they’re too big for a little boy like you.” Riley walked away from him again, leaving him in the ring as she goes back to her locker room which thankfully was empty.

About an hour later, Riley arrives at the hotel that everyone was staying and checks in at the front desk before going to her hotel room which was the penthouse suite.

‘Nice…’ Riley thought as she walks to the elevator. ‘Spacious place and a big comfy bed. Yes.’ She waits for the elevator and gets on when it arrives. Right before it closes again, a hand gets in between the door which makes the elevator to open again and reveal the last face Riley wanted to see right now. At least, that’s what she wanted to believe.

“Couldn’t wait for the next elevator, Dunne?” Riley asked him dryly. This gets a smirk out of him.

“No. Not really.” He responded as he boards the elevator. “Besides, i believe this is the perfect place to do this.” Riley’s face turns to one of confusion as he stops the elevator.

“Do wha-?” Before she could ask the question, she squeals as Pete manages to back her up against the wall of the elevator with one hand around her jaw.

“To do this.” He taunted her as he makes her look at him, that same look that had intimidated her in the past. Pete chuckles at her frightened reaction.

“Oh. Is someone scared now if what I gonna do to you, Queenie?” Pete taunted her, pleased with her reaction. However, Riley’s eyes hardened with defiance but Pete continues.

“No, you’re not scared.” He leans closer to her. “You’re turned on.” Riley’s eyes widened at the statement.

“What?” She asked breathlessly as Pete moves his hand from her jaw to her neck. He tightens his grip a little which makes the strawberry redheaded women’s champion whimper much to his amusement.

“You heard me, Queenie.” Pete said as he presses his hard body against her plump body, making her breath quicken. “You’re turned on. You’re turned for me, aren’t ya?” He chuckles again well he doesn’t get a response from her. “I bet you’re so fucking wet for me, my little luv.”

Riley’s fiery attitude makes its appearance for the first time in the encounter. “Probably not since you’re not anything spec-.” She gasps out suddenly cutting off her sentence due to Pete’s knee rubbing against her pussy through her panties.

“There you go again, trying to give Daddy lip.” Riley whines and bit her lip as Pete simultaneously squeezes her neck and presses his knee harder against her pussy. “I know you want this, Riley. And I’m willing to give it to you.” Pete takes hold of her jaw again this time gently to have her look at him. “But only if you’re willing to be a good little girl and listen to Daddy.” He could see the conflict in her eyes. “It wouldn’t be weakness if you do give in, Darlin’. In fact, you’d be showing strength by letting me take the reins and you know why?”

“No..”

“Because that shows me that you trust me with your pleasure, luv.” Pete runs his thumb across her bottom lip. “And that’s all I want, baby. All I want is to please you. That’s why I was so upset earlier. I wanted to beat Bobby on my own to impress you. To prove that I can be there for you. For anything, my darlin’ goddess.” Riley sighs at the news, now feeling like an asshole. She goes to apologize but Pete stops her with a soft kiss on her lips. She whimpers into the kiss and she runs her fingers through his hair as she pulls him closer. They pull away once their lungs began to burn due to lack of oxygen.

“It’s alright, luv. I’m not mad anymore. Not after I figured you out. But you still..” He pauses to kiss her lips again. “..Haven’t.” Kiss on her jawline. “Answered.” Kiss on her neck. “Daddy.” Kiss behind her ear before he sucks on her earlobe.

“Yes. Yes, Daddy. Please, Daddy.” She begged him, clawing at his shoulders.

“Mmm, good girl.” Pete restarts the elevator as it takes them to the penthouse suite in the hotel. Pete picks her legs around his waist as he kisses her lips again. He takes her off the wall of the elevator and carries her to the bedroom to place her on the bed. Pete moves his kisses down to her neck and collarbone as he undos the buttons on her shirt. Riley moans loudly as Pete bites her neck when he gets her shirt. This makes him laugh, his voice becoming deeper with lust as he admires the red lace bra that currently housed her huge breasts. He runs his hands gently over them, making the redhead moan and squirm under his touch.

“Red looks really good on you. Makes your skin glow.” Riley whimpered when he cups them, squeezing them. “But then again, knowing you, you could make anything look good.” He leans down to suck her nipples through her bra.

“Pete…” Riley whines as he gives both nipples a pinch before he sits back up. She shrieks as he rips the bra from her, her breasts bouncing at his roughness. “Peter!”

“I would apologize for that but it wouldn’t be sincere.” He laughs before he kissed her lips which were frowning since he just ruined her favorite bra. “It’s ok, luv. I’ll buy you more.” He continues to kiss down her body to her skirt. “Especially since that’s gonna be my new habit of mine.” He smirks at her shy reaction. “Does Queenie like that idea?” he smiles.

Riley nods her head, returning his smile. “Yes, I do.” She moans as Pete bites her hips by the waistline of her skirt. “Hey, what am I? A piece of candy?” She asked him as he pulls off her skirt.

“Well, you do look like caramel candy.” Pete complimented her as he kisses up her legs to her inner thighs. “A wet caramel candy at that.”

Riley throws her head back as Pete licks a strip from her opening to her clit. “Ah, fuck!” She screamed as her back arched up in pleasure when Pete sucks on her clit.

Pete growled as she bucked her hips in his face. “That’s it, luv. Ride my fucking face. Feed me that sweetness.” He smacked her ass which made her wetter and pant faster. “Fuck, you’re fucking dripping everywhere, Darlin’.” Pete then licks his fingers and puts them in her pussy. “And it’s fucking tight, too.”

Riley moans wantonly as Pete fingers her pussy faster, making her legs shake as she suddenly cums hard on his fingers. “Oh, shit Daddy! Daddy!”

“Yes, good girl! Good girl.” Pete said as he slows his pace down to clean up her juices. “Fuck, you taste so good.” he mutters as he takes off his jacket and shirt before he kisses up her body, climbing on top of her as he does. Riley runs her hands up Pete’s chest and shoulders before he takes them in his, intertwining their fingers as he pins them to the bed.

“There will be another time for you to survey the goods but right now, I just want you.” Pete said, kissing her again before he slips inside her. Riley gasps as Pete stretches her out. Pete smirks at her face. Her eyes were half-lidded and she was panting heavily.

“Daddy, move. Please, please fuck me. Fuck me hard. I want it. I want it rough.” She begged him as she wraps her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his lower back. Pete growled as he pulls out her pussy before he thrusted hard back inside, making her squeal with his rough pace. “Oh, fuck yes Daddy! Yes!”

Pete growls as he moved her legs from around his waist to his shoulders without once losing his pace. “Fuck, luv. You’re squeezing m’ cock so good. Shit! You like it? You like it when I fuck you like this? Huh? When daddy fucks you like a little slut?”

Riley giggles, loving his dirty talk. “You mean your little slut, Daddy?” She asked him which makes him smirk.

“That’s right, my beautiful slut.” he said as he puts one of his hands around her neck, squeezing it and groaning as her pussy squeezes him tighter as he does. “Bloody hell, Riley! You’re squeezing me tighter. You wanna cum for me?” Riley nods her head but it was enough to please Pete. Instead, he smacks her ass and squeezes her neck tighter. “Answer me, Queenie.”

“Y-Yes! Yes, Daddy. I wanna cum! Please let me cum!” Riley whimpered. Pete lets go of her neck and leans closer to her face.

“Look at me as you cum for me. Right now. Cum for me. Right. Now!” He commanded. Riley screamed, fighting the urge to close her eyes as she reaches her peak, drenching his dick and the bed sheets with her juices. Her intense orgasm was enough to trigger Pete’s as he fills her pussy with load after load of his seed. He kissed her as they both come down from their prospective highs. The silence was broke by Riley who speaks in a sleepy tone.

“I love you, Sourpuss.” Pete smiles at her before he kisses her again, rolling off of her.

“I love you too, Queenie.” He responds as he spoons her from behind.

“I guess we’re together then?” She playfully asks as she looks at him with a smirk.

“Looks like we’re gonna round two because apparently I didn’t hit that pussy right for you to still be awake.” She shrieks before she giggles as Pete snatches her up on top of him.

@gold--gucciempress @tacoshu @evilangel84 @nerdlife0612 @melinated-moon-goddess @wwevampireamongkpop @littledeadrottinghood @superrezzy00 @caramara3 @ladytea19 @pikapuff316 @bucky-bliss @scuzmunkie

17 notes · View notes

hillbillyhippiemusicreview · 3 years ago

Text

KELLYPALOOZA “GREW UP IN THE COUNTRY” AND GREW UP WELL TO BENEFIT IMPORTANT CAUSES “BACK HOME”

“Born and raised in the Bama clay, where my daddy’s rock and roll took a hold of me…”  Those are the opening lyrics to the song “Grew Up in the Country” by Alabama’s own southern rock gods, Them Dirty Roses—who also happened to recently headline one of the hottest festivals held in the Bama clay on Halloween Eve that y’all MUST attend next year. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Andrew Davis and James Ford of Them Dirty Roses

Towards the end of the song, Brother James Ford leads the choir in a rousing sing along where he testifies that “If you feel me, go on clap your hands, if you’re country then you’ll understand” and everyone in attendance certainly understood the assignment, coming together to throw one helluva party for good reason. Just like the fellas from TDR, every good southerner knows there’s nothing better than a big ‘ol party—especially if it’s a farm party—full of beer, bonfires, and the best music around town. Every good southerner also knows a farm party is even better when it supports their neighbor, benefiting a good cause. Speaking of big ‘ol farm parties that back a good cause, Kellypalooza is one of the best around town. Held annually in Ohatchee, AL for the past 9 years, Kellypalooza is a birthday celebration for Kelly Williams, where she shares both her love of music and immense generosity with attendees and the greater community. It feels like home down on the farm, as if everyone there is family, and the vibe truly cannot be beat.

What initially began as a 50th birthday celebration that morphed into the wedding of Coke and Kelly Williams almost a decade ago has now become one of the hottest events of the year showcasing some of the best talent on the scene while raising money for local non-profits. When I spoke with Coke that evening, he described (with an eloquent flair that only a man named Coke could possess) how he chooses the acts that will turn a Saturday nighter into a “Sunday Drunk”—he puts some whiskey in his cup, heads to the porch back home, presses play on Spotify, and lets the music come to him, no doubt living the good life. (Yes, I am proud of how many TDR song references I fit into one sentence and “You Can’t” kill my buzz over it, so there “Ain’t No Need” to try. Ok, I’m done now. Promise. 😊). This year, the acts that spoke—or rather sang—to him the loudest were the Sam Lewis Band, Grizzly Goat, Jake Brake, Early James, Boy Named Banjo, and Them Dirty Roses. It was such a fantastic lineup that my ears were still ringing a week later; in other words, I rocked out and certainly enjoyed myself. Note to self: wear earplugs next year! When I arrived at Williams Farm, sans earplugs and with no clue what to expect, I was initially greeted by very kind staff from Coosa Riverkeeper, the beneficiary of the event for the last two years (in years prior, it was the Birmingham Zoo.) They directed me where to go and what I saw felt like summer festival season all over again, except this time in the freezing cold: happy campers milling about, tents set up, fires burning, and laughter ringing out above the music. The energy radiating was positively perfect. There were vendors set up selling their wares, an extra cozy VIP area full of complimentary drinks and all the fixins’ paired with some delicious food, and a big bonfire prepared to light up the sky upon nightfall. All throughout the day and evening, people were gathered around the stage standing singing along and relaxing enjoying the music, but dancing there in the middle was Kelly, clad in her bellbottoms and fur vest being every bit the life of the party that I anticipated. Her hospitality was second to none but what really spoke to me the most was her excitement for and support of the bands and vendors, as well raising money for Coosa Riverkeeper as she emceed the event. It was easy to see her heart was as big as the Alabama sky that night.

Grizzly Goat

Jake Brake

Speaking of the music, no one had to worry about frostbite on that chilly evening because every single act burnt the stage down and lit a fire under the feet of those in attendance. I unfortunately arrived a bit late and missed the Sam Lewis Band, though I heard their set was a great kickoff to the perfect evening of tunes. Grizzly Goat was on stage as a two-piece acoustic duo, differing from their usual bluegrass/Americana/folk rock fusion in a four to six-piece band. I look forward to seeing them live with a full band one day soon; however, for my first encounter with their music I enjoyed the laidback set and their lively storytelling about their songs! After Grizzly Goat, Jake Brake took the stage and melted everyone’s faces with a positively electric classic rock cover set that got everyone groovin’. Ronnie Van Zant was smiling on Ohatchee, that’s for sure! When Jake Brake finished their comically-charged musical routine, Early James played a stirring set upon sundown that had the crowd on their feet jamming out at the proverbial rail. His funky, eclectic brand of bluesy rock was music to my ears—no pun intended. The Alabama boy definitely represented our vibrant musical history well with the myriad of influences that could be heard in his sound. Early and his band set the tone for the remainder of the evening to be a total jam-fest and Boy Named Banjo certainly lived up to the standard that preceded them. Their set was vivacious and unique, with tinges of pop-rock and bluegrass swirling together perfectly in the night air. I truly dig music that is different from the norm, and BNB checks off all the boxes with their style...definitely not what I expected when I first heard of them prior to the event, but I was hooked from that initial listen and became a huge fan after seeing them live. As if the lineup wasn’t already sweltering enough up to that point, Them Dirty Roses came out and turned sparkling embers into full on flames as they closed out the night with their special brand of bonafide rowdy rock and roll. I’ve seen their set more times than I can count at this point, and I’m still blown away each time. The enthusiastic crowd around me seemingly felt the same—if they weren’t fans before, they left one, that’s for sure.

Early James

Boy Named Banjo

All the bands rocked out and left their heart and soul on the stage much like the stars they are, though it’s safe to say that the biggest star of the night was the beneficiary of the event itself, Coosa Riverkeeper. Founded in 2010 by a group of environmental leaders from the Coosa Valley in Alabama, the non-profit’s mission is to protect, promote, and restore the Coosa River. Their philanthropy that benefits visitors flocking to the Coosa Valley waterways involves the staff riverkeeper patrolling five lakes and multiple creeks to document the beauty seen, but also the pollution occurring, in order to answer questions such as “is this fish safe to eat” and “is it safe to swim here?” The foundation aims to keep the area beautiful, healthy, and enjoyable for all—quite the noble, and costly, feat. Coosa Riverkeeper’s goal is to “educate the public about the value that the Coosa River brings to our community, economy, and our environment,” as well as advocate for a voiceless, vital part of the community. As they poignantly express on their website, “A river has a head and a mouth, but it does not have a voice to speak for itself in our classrooms, courtrooms, and town halls. Coosa Riverkeeper advocates for river and the thousands of families who rely on it for fun, food, and property value.” Fundraising events are one of several integral parts of their financial plan to keep providing their services to the area, and events like Kellypalooza are vital to providing necessary funds to do the very important work that the organization does. Every ticket sold, whether it was general admission or VIP, benefitted the cause, as well as raffles and Coosa Riverkeeper merch available for sale. Donations were also accepted at the point of ticket purchase and onsite at the event, and I saw many concertgoers purchasing Kellypalooza and Coosa Riverkeeper merchandise from the very kind and knowledgeable staff, happily helping out their neighbor. Kelly and Coke Williams are so generous to throw such a fantastic event every year that celebrates amazing music and benefits important causes. If you are reading this and happen to feel generous this holiday season, you can still purchase merch or make a donation online at: Shop | Coosa Riverkeeper and COOSA RIVERKEEPER INC. - Join Us to Protect the Coosa! (networkforgood.com).

If you are in the tri-state area or beyond, trust me when I say that Kellypalooza is one of the best events of festival season and you NEED to be there next year! I can’t wait to see who the lineup is—the show, and the heart of the matter, are worth the drive from wherever you are. Don’t just take my word for it, join me in 2022, will you?

Ben Crain and Andrew Davis of Them Dirty Roses

youtube

#Youtube

0 notes

randomaddendum · 4 years ago

Text

Finally, a good pair of headphones.

Got it off a friend as he went for the latest model & he pretty much knew I was keen on his.

I don't usually spoil myself, but it was at a good price, I was patient & he knows even if I want something bad, I'm willing to lose out if it doesn't make sense to me; fella knew I was keen on his DSLR last year, but I wouldn't be swayed even when prices were driven down substantially, in truth it was a real good deal on offer, but other factors had to be considered.

Anyway, deals done, I'm one happy camper now with my Sony 1000XM2.. my expression here doesn't do my happiness justice 😄, feels rather subdued when put in words here, but I am immensely happy, yeah sure, it's kinda a waste of money I admit, but, like I said, I rarely treat myself to something I really want but don't really need.. but boy, for a waste of money, this baby is good shit, excellent noise cancelling headphones, audio's are a delight, I just slide into a heavenly dreamy existence of relaxation, unbothered by the world I'm surrounded by, lol.

Just the sort of shit I need to get away without really doing so ☺️☺️☺️

Well, I can't wait to put em on later tonight.

#random addendum #randomaddendum #interests #thoughts #sony

0 notes

rawrmeansmemes · 7 years ago

Text

THAT THING YOU DO ( 1996 ) SENTENCE STARTERS

I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you

Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.

Are you crazy? A man in a really nice camper wants to put our song on the radio! Gimme a pen; I'm signin', you're signin', we're all signin'!

Sorry I'm buggin' you! I guess I'm alone in my principles.

I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus.

I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion, and *I* am gonna win that blue ribbon!

It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.

Gentleman. I'd forgotten what you fellas looked like.

It is very important that you don't stink today.

Hey, I make no guarantees.

Table 19, your pizza's ready.

I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy.

See? You gotta be quick! You gotta be quick with me!

How long have you been wearing such tight pants?

You unplug and you run, run offstage! Smiling, smiling, of course.

Where was I? Oh yeah, playing songs on my guitar.

There was this one time, we stayed up *way* past midnight, and...

Ah, has our fame preceded us?

Look at you. You're no good to me now.

When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean, truly, truly, good and kissed?

Let's just call us The - Band You're About To Hear.

Good news guys. You get to keep your wardrobe.

Asshole... just broke his arm!

Why don't you go and see if you can visit the cockpit? Tell them it's your birthday. Go! Go! Go!

All right, this is it. Now - if the crowd doesn't go wild for you, don't worry about it. They will tomorrow!

Hey, man! Whatever you do, don't think of pork chops!

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starter meme #sentence starters #starter sentences

83 notes · View notes

suzie-guru · 8 years ago

Text

Suzie Went To Chicago

It’s super belated, but heeeeeeeere’s Part Two!

Day Two

Once again, I fucking love Chicago. Please, may I be so lucky to legit live there one day. When my sister and I woke up after experiencing the glory that was Hamilton, I looked out the window of our hotel and saw not only glorious sunshine and blue skies, but a row of clothing rocks, lighting and heating equipment, and what was clearly a breakfast table in the alley. “I think they’re shooting for something!”

Turns out the show is called Chicago Justice and Care and I walked past the area they were using in hopes of appearing in the background XD

We started the day off by going to what has got to be one of the loveliest, most elegant breakfast cafes I’ve ever been to, Meli Cafe. Guys. GUYS. Fresh squeezed orange juice. Challah bread french toast. An omelet of salmon and harvarti cheese and capers and basically all of my favorite things rolled into a solid punch of deliciousness. I was in HEAVEN.

After breakfast we had already planned on going to the Aquarium, and since it was so gorgeous out, we knew we wanted to walk. Now, you need to know something about me.

I fucking love the Aquarium. It combines both the thrill of seeing animals that I don’t get to see day to day (which is why I love zoos so much) and the sea. So, yeah, I was one happy camper.

@joons, I found Oswald.

He looked appropriately disdainful to make my acquaintance.

This guy was the favorite of both my sister and I – he was swimming like that all around the enormous, circular tank that was housed in the middle of the main floor, and I swear to God, I was practically swooning over how beautiful sea turtles are...

SO THE ONE SAD THING ABOUT THE AQUARIUM IS THAT THEIR SEA RAY FEEDING AREA IS A SEASONAL THING, AND SO WE COULDN’T DO THAT, WHICH I HAD BEEN REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO. But, gosh, look at the majestic sea pancake. What a lovely flap-flap...

I loved the colors on this little fella. Talk about striking. I want more mermaids with such colorings on their scales...

We weren’t able to talk pictures of the octopuses, but @setepenre-set, I was THIS CLOSE to get you a scarf that had some tentacles all over it...for obvious reasons XD

Care made judgmental noises when I cooed over the sharks, and both of us got melancholy as we watched the dolphins zip around their (admittedly huge) tank. No matter how big it is, all I can think is that it’s still a cage...it did provide a HUGE inspiration for a short story I’m going to do now about a mermaid as an exhibit in an aquarium...

Afterwards, we walked back to the hotel, and I had myself a wee little catnap. Cat nap is actually an appropriate word considering what came next...

See, I have this Aunt. This Aunt happens to live in Chicago. Because my sister is a whole hell of a lot nicer than I am, she thought it would be nice of us to reach out to this Aunt and see if she would want to do dinner.

But the thing is, this Aunt also happens to be (not too fine a point on it) a Crazy Cat Lady.

And even then that wouldn’t be so bad, but she’s a my Aunt who’s a Crazy Cat Lady who is ALSO makes very inappropriate and incentive remarks about POCs, kids from the “Bad Side” of the city, and just many things in general. This is the woman who made a Mike Brown joke, and who told us during the night that she wrote a letter to her representative urging them to vote YES for Besty DeVos.

So, yeah, you can imagine how I’m looking forward to this night. But in general, I suppose she’s harmless. Selfish and insensitive and judgmental willfully blind about many things, but also terribly, terribly lonely.

I don’t either my sister or I realized just how...barren her life is. Her cats (eight of them in all: Mommy, Baby, Kiki, Pepper, Atlas, Blackjack, Jojo, and Sweet Pea) have the complete run of the house. There’s no real furniture, they’ve knocked out holes so they can run in the walls, and every surface is dominated by cat beds and the like. Honest to God, it looked like something out of a Hoarders episode.

Care turned to me when this Aunt had left to get something from the kitchen and mouthed a wide-eyed “Oh...my...God...” and honestly, I think that just about sums it up.

I feel a terrible pity and, God forgive me, a terrible fear: you see, everyone says I a look like this Aunt. Not strikingly similar, but...enough, you know? You can imagine how well that sits with me. And when I went to this house, and saw what her home was like, what her life was like, the thought came into my head and wouldn’t leave: “Am I going to end up like this?”

God in Heaven, I hope not. And yet I have a new sympathy for this Aunt, because...God, I had no idea. None.

The dinner ended up actually being quite nice, although our Aunt ended up making several pointed comments about how we had no bread basket (she LOVES her bread). In the end, both Care and I agreed it wasn’t the experience we had been dreading, although both of us mentioned we had both been biting our tongues during her political tirade and that we had CLEARLY underestimated just what is going on in her life and how terribly lonely she is....

#it gets super personal at the end so you don't *have* to read the whole thing #I forgot to go through my photos so here have some more things from my trip #I'll get the pictures to the Art Institute up later #either tonight or tomorrow #personal

7 notes · View notes

airoasis · 5 years ago

Text

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-4/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

Proper come on the advisors gazing tv all night time it can be a gigantic wave Queens like chewing gum for the eyes no thanks head anyway I’ve obtained these crispier ok this is what I do I get a cheese and onion one and a salt and vinegar one and i devour them in the same go discontinue leak is getting extra stools I believe we’d ought to move himself and put that focus on ders right burn ok i’m a completely happy camper God Almighty that is gonna price a fortune to fix where we going to get the money believe Google how do we elevate some cash mm-hmm once more i do know uh-huh aha are you considering what i am thinking I believe though Ted sure haha but now wait i’m no longer certain I imply it’s a enormous step and where are we gonna get long past i will be talking about oh wait a minute now sincerely I might were fascinated by something specific you concept we will rob a financial institution ginger I did Azurill this is not a Bruce Willis film I used to be thinking more alongside the lines of a rattles absolutely how does a prized or you may have got me there Ted I believe we are able to get something how does the foundations of the diocese have been allowed or a surprise each couple years it is go Ted we ought to move them over here that is printing Latifah waking them up oh there it is father father Tonio’s get back come on Zoey we’re gonna have got to lose you once more do not eat that for the no it is vacant water and i’ve been looking up the report and the island hasn’t been given whatever to wrassle due to the fact that these two baggage of cold in 1964 I believe we’re entitled under the rules of the diocese oh that’s a massive production oh that is distinctive thanks very a lot your grace yes thanks once more all proper bye bishop Renard bye no look then lot’s of success toodles we’re being given a automobile a vehicle that’s a remarkable prize head what’s now not that distinguished father Finnegan got one last 12 months you understand him do not you google the dancing priest dances for peace yeah she’s nonetheless going oh sure certainly he danced across the usa final yr new york to los angeles he was once mugged about once each 15 miles excellent with out the room sorted out in no time did you that father cup of tea father no thanks mr.Toys what do you feel of her sure are you certain you is not going to have a cop it’s a prize in our little one raffle right simply the drop on your hand then one is like this going i’ll take the tray all right Horlicks i’ll put the assess line in case you want some extra as soon as you’ll find in well-lined seem at that so the tent of the vehicle wash cleaning soap they’re dead corabeth it have got to had been when you hit that fell on the bike do not ask any individual who is okay anyway I so i’m getting up dad shouldn’t just take that out with the top of a hammer i am looking that box over there Oh carrying on with to do this I simply must the opposite direction it’s no use Ted you’ll be able to in no way get it undoubtedly correct I idea I had it there a even as in the past you already know you are watching o.K. Like an simpler to maintain banging away you’re a perfectionist head you know it’s now not too bad quantity appear so no we can’t supply that away the prize ok why do not you sleep on it see how you feel within the morning maybe you are proper with simply destroyed a car that is worth seven grand come on appear what spend more in it you don’t know the indicators we’re useless the bitch will kill us we’re dead we’re dead oh due to Allah I traditionally wanted that but yeah do not ever do it once more how what are we going to can we might run away no they only find us again they continually do all right little bit that other part that has the auto on the dancing priest geared up him yes and it should be the same style of automobile and the whole thing how could we get him to present it to us possibly maybe we would simply get a lender’s ah but when anyone wins it in the raffle they is not going to want to provide it again no doubles that is going to sound very very immoral stay with me what if what if we prepared the rasuls so that we surprise then we could convey the auto again ooh that’ll be terribly mistaken Ted i do not feel we must do that it would not be dishonest quite to simply it used to be simply the case of structuring the raffle in such a way that the return involves the benefactors instead than the beneficiaries mmm Google critically hear if Bishop Brennan finds out that we wrecked the vehicle he’s going to kill us and homicide is a horrible horrible sin duda so by means of committing this little sin we without a doubt be saving a bishop soul reasonable adequate and head come on father we’re off to see the dancing freak off we go God look it is the identical color adult you mind Jack right here I shall be extra oh hiya come on in will you become a member of me however be right down to holo i am not what you learn uncle oh come on Ted prayer is not the only way to praise God you know and it maintains your face is purple all proper then is there anything on the phone about taking a mortgage at a auto yes you’d be doing us a exceptional favor oh don’t be foolish simply handle it don’t give it away in a big gamble or whatever and anyone said they saw it on television not too long ago in a documentary you might be in Belfast for anything that wasn’t me that was once a younger fella ripped off the thought don’t love talking about good I better be heading on thanks again for no hindrance Oh bingo Olaf enter Duggal you leave a mark within the window are we there but Google it’s a long pressure you need to go for a whilst sure everything’s exceptional our Father usually saved a as soon as again how are you doing again there father ingesting for the like acid your do this to clear you up our hair is grizzled head seem possibly you will have to have rested lifter it’s a long pressure you you have got slightly sleep okay okay we Laszlo think the air and the night shift taking it by way of until 3:00 dr.Dale good morning sirs this is John Morgan under John Morgan morning exhibit it can be a stunning day so let’s start off with some lodge magic cut altitudes no longer for a moment there quite huh let’s go by means of it again I fill the hash with the Lord of tickets the entire identical number on them say eleven eleven to one and that is effortless to consider hit and then after I’m doing the draw will be certain that you’ve that number right so we will not must alternate at all good that is genuinely how we’re cheating do it o.K. K ok so let me get this straight you can be wearing the Hat no no I won’t be wearing any hats the tickets shall be in – gotcha but your piranhas needed to provide me the sign I will not be supplying you with any alerts Google I just pull out your ticket and also you say that’s my quantity and are available up and acquire the prize so the prize says what is this the auto alright yeah here’s the sandwiches for tonight continuously a menace I forgot to do my scan what experiment is that could be a joint I isolate to sandwich at random and take a look at it and if it doesn’t meet my necessities I put a number of them in the bin they’re pleasant correct so are we all started a whole raring to go Ted who’s doing the disco father Billy oh the wire the Spin grasp excellent simply I can’t look forward to tonight like that I promote a load of tickets first about I promote more than you do Ted hmm no this can be a bit love it’s somewhat like the sting and i’m Robert Redford and you are Paul Newman the Spin master oh yeah proper completed it can be like NASA how do you hold monitor of it all oh sure it can be rather simple rather you consider here we have now the two turntables which I manipulate from the mixing guest here this because of this which you could flip between files if you want to get just a little of an historical jam going you realize well I tell you i will twist what documents we received for us documents and there is reviewers each get them all jumpin ok please what’s up – you forgot the educate did you look at any documents just a second uh keep on a 2d I would have one have one open the automobile cup of tea father going how would you wish to be the primary to buy a raffle ticket oh seem – father i have not taken part in a random John these years and i think I maybe in with a fine threat today shut up stupid that is how many takes just one ah all right I best need one my lucky number by no means lets me down oh I see which one is that eleven what consistently been fortunate for me and we’re out of eleventh I thought I was once your first patron yes sure but come what I consider this one got here without eleventh I said of wash i’ll give you a number ten and a quantity one and that laptops could have 19 have them both for 50p no i don’t consider so father i’d higher have my money back that is joy for cherishing proof sorry father I do not need you understand something Jack’s obtained to at all times respond the person oh god I better go on rescue me be gone mad no he’s satisfactory they’re simply having a chat but Dougal men and women probably the most boring priest in the world he was once working in Nigeria just a few years in the past and he aroused from sleep one morning to seek out that everybody within the village it has adequate of them and long past off in a huge boat sank after mine there eaten by means of alligators we run the gas off the electricity and the electrical energy off the fuel and we saved 200 pounds a year however then just a few weeks later god i’m going to never omit it now we bought a new boiler are you all proper there Fozzie i’ll just turn and follow the guy there by way of the object there last 12 months how did you fare with yours I do not know what considering the fact that you understand they’ve no morals and and no respect for human life but what they do have and no person can deny us now they have the finest assortment of boilers in the world and incorporate Canada I simply want to borrow Jack from the second proper oh god I keep in mind the primary time I noticed that boiler no gorgeous i do not think you want to purchase a ticket father Oh did you get them fancy Ted seeing that you could purchase them down the store you know any quantity you love now one seven twenty a hundred and twelve foot the entire way as much as 4 hundred nine I think it is and if you want more they send off for them and now you send them again in an envelope now you know the entire state-of-the-art factor now rectangular of 4 corners you that’s the best way i love them anyway the historical envelopes oh yes yeah no round envelopes for me no means hold that was once a manufacturer title ye had concern with a job Oh tickets for the raffle any person anyone that knows the right way to deposit kick it come over right here thank you very much thank you sorry not the wait people the situation with the historic disco luckily though I’ve acquired a few historic associates to do a few numbers please welcome father Kieran for the Raptor father cavities and father Leonard foolish we’re gonna be k observed the report all right okay how about the tickets you keep bees you are for 4 kilos gambling heads blowing me Father I mean grandfather each of them scan drive the Delta pending to the title Oh what occurred to me no supercharger don’t we go now i will write them go ahead first-class how many while you take two thousand come on right here look at I always do your assess no I I can’t say that that is that’s too much i will add retract that you may amend the tax no no appear you you maintain them you must be throwing around that variety of cash and i need one more ticket book this one’s gone out already fuck you bought out already gonna retest i will hardly ever keep a straight face again there prime of town mm like that so you understand what to do on the birds our goat head ok come on oh thank you Father Billy and now let’s get on to the most important stuff the raffle the last rasa-lila that was once very fascinating when you consider that the people who ran the raffle actually wanna so it is not distinct for that to happen okay and the profitable number is quantity eleven quantity eleven number eleven if anyone has that quantity will they arrive up on stage what’s that you tape the entire work you must profitable quantity what work out of Bob were very ancient father drove over wire bought on my Chicago what are you doing sorry Ted I was watching at the ticket the wrong way up i do know what a splendid night we’ve had we’ve raised sufficient cash to restore the roof and we have had a pleasant time so let me simply paint you all now for coming alongside and ask you to stand for our national Anthem shake i will see you subsequent week please please an extra risk to fly up please see all thanks very a lot mrs.Toys gosh a fort pity priest no they they they have you every method you already know I was in the a a there you recognize for a while and and the insurance was once very pricey I all right I had to crash the car simply to get the money back you recognize that they had witnesses who stated they’d see me advised towards the wall you understand there was once talk of me going to penal complex for a while yourself mr. John terrible information it’s father Finnegan he is very well overseas no the doctors warned of Dakota 10 to 12 hours a day however he just could not discontinue dancing terrible information what’s up Ted its father Finnegan had a heart assault no are there to any extent further chip fix doesn’t mean we are able to hold the carrot head Coogan’s that is a terrible factor to claim the man is simply pull wait a 2nd you are right we can further take off how’d you get the air fresh story ah Oh God blame the auto now not the brand new car tell me the truth have you ever been consuming sure tell me from the starting the place did you drive chops please nook stores hello Oh shucks tow trucks distinct possibly there may be whatever we will salvage it is now not about head sure god I suggestion to be a lot worse than that Oh bollocks the residence will not be that dangerous oh well at the least you continue to have the rattle money for the roof he simply provide me 24 hours please so since of that low stress will customarily be seeing much more rain as a minimum except July or almost certainly except August God Almighty imagine anybody being so dishonest as to steal raffle cash from a priest well no the raffle was once rigged head I think we’ll be all right so long as the tree does not fall by way of the roof for a second there I notion a section of recommendation my father gave to me now this not only refers to lagging however all forms of insulation he stated do not ever at no no wait though it might consistently perpetually no no it used to be on no account yeah I forgotten that mine what’s your favorite buzzing noise what wouldn’t it be mmm mmm the primary one there now that’s the sound of a fridge the second second one that that’s the sound of a person humming yeah girl buzzing III knew a lady once but she died soon after now in case you push me to it i would have to say my favorite colour was once grey so blue a smooth blue with a hint of gray now Lauren orange that is an orange or Matlin i have an extension put on the apartment now and i put it on the extension so the residence is in a circle now easy you

0 notes

batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

Text

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/think-fast-father-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-2-dead-parrot-4/

"Think Fast, Father Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 2 | Dead Parrot

0 notes

psotu19 · 7 years ago

Text

Parrish Art Museum, Water Mill, NY: Story Circle #3, January 26, 2018

FIRST ROUND

Mark-Antonio: Introduce yourselves, who you are, region you live in the Hamptons.

I’m Mark-Antonio, educator for kids, I work with different organizations to promote sustainable living for children ages 4-13. I started working with organizations on Long Island last year. This is my first full year living in the Hamptons, and I am excited to work more with more agencies in the area.

Beverly: I am from the Shinnecock Indian nation, I live on the reservation. I attended Southampton public schools, Queens college, Missouri University, Colombia, I traveled a lot. Have a great grandson, just saw him. I’m the author of a book on the Shinnecock Indian Reservation. Its photographs and its purpose are to show we are still here. I don’t know what else to say, I love my family, very close to my family. Happy camper. My husband has Danish ancestors.

Darlene: I was born in the Bronx, parents from Puerto Rico, grew up on mid island. Came out here to high school, went to LIU. Went back and forth and moved around. Been out here since 1989, visual mixed media artist. Do mapmaking about who we are and our connections with humanity, interactions.

Scott: I’m a poet and farmer. Nice occupation. I’ve worked for the Peconic Land Trust for the last 28 years. I specifically farm in NYS. I lived here since 1989. I am here because we moved with my mother-in-law, a painter who showed at Parrish many times. She moved here in the late 70s and we followed.

Terrie: I’m the director of the Parrish, came in 2008 from Houston Texas, come from North Carolina. Even before I became the director, I’ve been coming out here since 1986, since I moved to NY and my brother Donald who is an artist lives in Sag Harbor. Came out a lot, felt lucky to live in Houston Texas and moving to the Hamptons. Terrific experience to oversee construction of this building, seeing the changes in the decade I’ve been here. For the Parrish to do Story Circles reinforces what we hope to happen in this museum as cultural and community engagement.

Joanne: I’m a docent, I do private tours for the Parrish and for a family and kids. I’m mentor to a new group of docents. We have two I’m mentoring. Trained as an artist, studied at SVU, moved to Hamptons (Southampton)—it was quiet in winter, so I started writing and joined a group. Went and got my MFA from Southampton College. I’ve segwayed from art directing to writer and have a column in the Southampton Press. I write about anything I feel like, family, children. I might write about the experience of the Story Circle, or I might not.

Bill: I’m an architect. I came out in 1950s as a kid, introduced by a WPA* artist, Harry Gottlieb. I moved the day I graduated from school, February 1972. I worked with the community and saw a lot of changes. Working now to turn the clock backwards on pollution and land quality, regenerating the landscape and restoring community and stopping social fragmentation, and preserving the natural environment. [*The government-funded Federal Art Project (FAP) of the Works Progress Administration (WPA) hired hundreds of artists who collectively created more than 100,000 paintings and murals and over 18,000 sculptures to be found in municipal buildings, schools, and hospitals in all of the 48 states.]

Mark-Antonio: Share a story about something you experienced that gave you insight into the state of our union; share a story of sense of belonging, or opposite, to the nation; or share a story about working through barriers to connect with someone different than yourself, someone you disagreed with.

Terrie: So, last year obviously was a year of a lot of turmoil and feelings that we felt disconnected from not only the government but our own communities, where to turn and what to do. For me, the most important thing that I’ve experienced in 2017 that doesn’t relate to the Parrish was participating in the Women’s March in NYC. To be part of that incredible energy was very uplifting for me, the sea of pink knitted hats, the comradery and bringing children and grandparents walking together. In my group, there was Chuck Schumer walking right in the center of my group with very little security, surrounded by people he didn’t know. It was a bit of a galvanizing force for people to feel, yes, they did have representation, the people who could help us were listening. You could barely move. It took forever to get from 42nd to 59th street. It was not frustrating or scary at all. It was just like this Story Circle, being crammed together with people you didn’t know; you could talk to people of where they came from, how they got there, who knitted their hat for them. Very uplifting thing that carried me through the whole year.

Joanne: Belonging—this is going to sound like a Parrish commercial. Living here full time, I have yoga groups and friends, but being a docent has been fulfilling to me. Everyone says thank you. Terrie handwrites thank-you notes for things we have done, the diverse programs. I give tours to be a teacher, but I learn more from the people I give tours to. It’s an interesting group of people out here. I love that it’s a place I can learn. I walk in and the guards say hey, Joanne, how are you? That’s very nice and there’s not many places you get that. The Historical Society I’m part of was nice to be connected to, but for me it’s serving to be here. I bring my husband here, he asks how long it will last?

Bill: I’ll talk about what I remember first as a kid. My mother was a teacher, she would take me and my brother for the summer out of the city for different experiences. We spent one summer in New Mexico, in a small town, Pojaque. I was 8 or 9 years old at the time, at the next table was a family with two girls our age, and my mother got talking. The head of the family was Harry Gottlieb, the artist involved in the WPA. He was involved in silk screening, we hit it off and stayed in touch for a couple of weeks. They said we had to come out to the East End. I grew up in the Bronx. No idea why so many people in NYC have never been out there. He rented a place, a barn, and trained us in painting. We went out with my family, in Hampton Bays; down toward the Ponquogue Bridge was a finger of water coming in from Shinnecock Bay. A fella who lived there, Captain Bill, was retired and ran a day camp for free for just boys. You could bring lunch in a paper bag. We didn’t pay him anything. He would watch boys 7-8 to up to 14 or so. We would jump in the water, swim. He had boats, a Chris-Craft mahogany boat and would take us out. It was beautiful and amazing, the 1950s.

Mark-Antonio: I didn’t go into much of who I was. My connection to the Hamptons is very different to most because I am an immigrant from Jamaica. I came to this country at a later age of 13, to Staten Island. Went to Holtsville, close to Ronkonkoma. My experience coming out to the Hamptons before, used to be I could feel I’m not from here or the USA, I didn’t feel a sense of belonging in general. It wasn’t until I moved here fulltime, which was last year, where I felt involved in committees in different areas, teaching with different schools in the area. I felt more a sense of belonging. Before the last election, it felt to me, in my experience, it was easy to talk about politics; after the election it became very rare, it never came up. It usually never ends well. That’s one of the things I’ve noticed for me—relating to belonging. Since the election, there’s been a sense of divisiveness.

Beverly: I’ll tell you something about this evening. I’ve never been here [at the Parrish] before. I came in, sat down, wanted to make sure I knew where to park. This man was walking down the sidewalk, he looked like a Shinnecock; sure enough, it was my cousin! He’s right over there. He had the walk that our men had. I recognized it and sure enough it was him.

Darlene: I jotted down notes, Awaiting a Vision. As an artist, I like to do this exercise. Fly up in the air, see where I am, again and again and again. Aerial views are so bizarre, going to another scale, being part of a flowing system. A skin of the earth of different species, I locate myself, there she is, that little point. What does she see, feel? I am aware of the other points as well. I expand before contracting a bit and coming back. I get nervous every time I go to some events. There’s something that developed over time, wherever I am, my skills are strange, looking at details might be unnoticed or less interesting, is part of everything else. The processing of senses. It gives a certain texture to an overall view. When we come together, at a friend’s house, serendipitously at the supermarket, or amazingly at this event tonight, we’re part of this process of co-evolving a vision. In my art, I like to see the vision evolve. In this body, I am in it, and even when I am in a bad move or do something stupid, I hope my cells will still want to be part of me and would want to make tomorrow better for all.

Scott: I have many stories I want to tell, but maybe I’ll tell a bit of each one. Because I’m a child of the late 60s, after that I left this country out of frustration to discover something new. I’m just as frustrated now with my country, but I don’t want to leave. I want to tell good stories, with a full knowledge of the divisiveness we are facing in this country. I’ll turn to this inspiring gathering of NOFA NY, North East Organic Farming Association of New York that I just attended. There used to be 150 people in their 40s, now it’s 1200 people in their 20s and 30s, and it’s so inspiring. It was in Saratoga Springs, and it housed so many people involved in sustainability. Not all farming, but mostly organic organizations. The other story I want to mention is an incredible experience in Santa Fe, New Mexico. We have some land out there, and we have been rediscovering that area. There was a Mexican Mariachi band with lots of horns, huge guitars, and base. It was really beautiful, there was a great diversity of people in support of the Dreamers. We sang the same song, which I have never felt so strongly about before that day: America the Beautiful. It was beautiful, I never had that experience, I sang the pledge of allegiance in that square in support of the Dreamers. The country is together in instances like that.

Mark-Antonio—summarizing this circle:

Some take-away was a sense of belonging. A major theme in our connections and stories. A sense of feeling a connection to a community. Joanne said, walking into a place and someone knowing your name is a big thing. Someone remembers who you are and your name, that’s huge. A sense of culture and recognition of culture. Noticing without even knowing who that person was. It’s nice to have that connection in just a community. The sense of recognizing a larger body was important. Sense of rediscovery, not just discovery and diversity. Really important to know. A real sense of disconnect and divisiveness, but also cohesiveness among a large number of us.

SECOND ROUND

Bill: I came out from NYC on a Friday night on the Jitney, with my son. We got seats together. The stewardess came up and did the tickets. Not an empty seat, jammed. People are just filled with their experiences from the city, no one is talking to each other. The stewardess is near the back lavatory. Then she gets to us, finally, I look up at her, and say, “Hi, how are you doing this evening?” She said to me, “Your ticket, please!” I said, “Sure.” Looking at her and making human contact, she took the ticket and started to cry. Did I do something wrong? She said, “No, you’re the first person to acknowledge me all day.” This was two years or so from now. Whenever I have an exchange, getting the paper or a cup of coffee, I look at them, say, Hi, how are you, make sure I’m connected. Since the current administration, I tell people how I feel. Because I understand that I felt that way on my own. It was not the general feeling of the community. I feel that I must be open to expressing myself. It allowed whoever I am with to tell me how they feel also. I think others should do the same thing, ask your neighbors how they feel, become a community who shares. There are talks about economic exchanges, but it’s good to talk about feelings. There are some contacts based on necessity, on exchange. In recognizing and solidifying our community, we will gain strength to make the changes that help us. I don’t think they are alone, we will change that.

Terrie: I lived in Paris for a whole [year?]. The idea of how you solidify yourself into a community is very much about eye contact and making personal relationships. If you move to Paris, you have two choices: Go to a bakery and buy something and walk out, and the person in the bakery will not talk to you. If you go in the first time, introduce yourself, tell them that you came from America, sorry for not great at speaking French, looking forward to seeing them, they will say, Madame, so happy to see you, I saved you the best of this or that. When we moved, we went to all the merchants and introduced ourselves, and at once we were part of that community. Just like Bill said, eye contact and introducing makes others know we want to be part of their world. There are hundreds of political parties in France, but it didn’t matter, we looked at them and said we want to be part of the community.

Bill: The young girl was happy that we acknowledged her. We all need that.

Joanne: That takes effort to make connections.

Bill: Yeah, probably, I don’t know any other way to do this… I think we’re all guilty more or less to some degree of burrowing under and avoiding what I think is actually a far more natural response to other people that you come in contact with. I don’t know if effort is the word I would use, I think if we change our habits, maybe thinking about it rather than what we do now.

Terrie: Beverly, when you recognized Leigh and knew he was part of your community, and coming here for the first time, did it make you feel more welcome?

Beverly: Yes, it did, I want to come back and learn more about the museum. I should be ashamed of myself.

Terrie: You have a personal guide to give you a tour.

Joanne: I’ll give you my email, not scheduled, half an hour whatever.

Bill: I want to ask, why didn’t you come before?

Beverly: I passed it [the Parrish] going to East Hampton, and thought, that’s a strange looking building, and asked myself, what did they do that for? I went to the old Museum when it was in the Village. Grew up with that one. Never thought of stopping actually. Knew it was there.

Mark-Antonio: A sense of connecting is powerful. Any other stories of connecting with someone? Or having a sense of connection?

Darlene: The idea of being challenged is here. I grew up on a street just off Union Avenue. Being a child who played with words and loved art I liked to search inside words, find hidden words within them and stitch them up in a picture I could carry around. “Ave” means bird in Spanish, “nue”—new of Union, of uniting, joining together, becoming or returning to one. It could be a superhero of sorts, this New Bird of Uniting…. swooping in whenever needed. Fast forward…2018. I look for this bird… think I/we need it. Maybe it had been like this, but now it felt so much stronger… that each time I tune into the radio or get into a current events discussion there seem to be so many forces trying to break us apart into smaller and smaller “Us and Them”s, dividing by race, by political affiliation, dividing by income, by religion. I see the term Resist…. And for me it takes on a slightly different tone: I want to constantly resist the divide. The Us versus Them. I picture new Birds of Union flocking down. I call out and welcome one to stay right on my shoulder now for 2018…. Reminding me every time I’m about to take some bait and help co-create a hated Other.

Scott: I like that your stories have to do with flight. New bird. Lovely.

Joanne: I liked the stewardess story.

Bill: It was shocking to me, my heart went to this little girl. I could feel what she would go through. It’s negating when you don’t recognize another person, she’s invisible. The wealthy people who live here want the service community to come, work, do deliveries, then disappear. They don’t want to see any of those people, I think. Such a common attitude in second home community. This was her second trip that day. Four trips in and out of the city.

Joe joined group, Scott joined another.

Joe: I’m a poet. So interested in being here. Last year, it was a great experience. Talking to Joanne about it, I think so many of us were shocked, coming out from our holes and caves, it gave us a chance to get a sense of what was going on in the world. Tonight, I’m interested to understand how we all progressed—is our balance better or not? Some of that sense of shock we are all feeling has settled down, and that’s good to see. It’s nice to be here and part of your circle.

Bill: A lot of talk of leaving the country, lots of shock. Everyone I knew was deeply upset that they needed to restructure their whole lives in a way. It really was an extremely profound trauma, and what I learned from other experiences in my life is that traumas of that nature actually rewire your brain. It’s your PTSD [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder]—that’s what we’re responding to. You’re right, Joe, it’s great to compare where we were. Some are settling, ways to reconnect to one another and respond in a way, the withdrawal and shock, fleeing…

Mark-Antonio: I want to keep in that frame of mind, some inflection of how you felt after the election and how you feel now. A personal story that might reflect upon that.

Beverly: I think I have a new sense—I don’t know where it came from—I sense a feeling of hope despite the chaos.

Darlene: Traumatic feeling, sometimes people I know didn’t expect it to happen this way. It was a disbelief, I basically stayed in bed and cried for a day. It was a realization that things aren’t the way I thought they were. I gradually came out of that with determination, more perspective I have been missing. Again, I am surrounded by a certain community, I hear stories—an echo chamber bringing up the same views as I. Looking at different views and hearing about them. Trying to understand. Developing a compassion for personal view, life, family and what’s going on. I feel more determined to hear different voices and find a solution.

Bill: You feel abled, before you couldn’t do anything.

Darlene: Right.

Joe: It’s been such a strange era. It’s hard to give a story from my own life, but I can share something that happened this year that reflects on what the experience has been for some. My wife and I—she is an animal person—wanted a dog for many years. Two dogs died in a short amount of time. This year she could no longer wait, needed another pet. She spent time looking, found a rescue dog that matched the dream dog. A lot of the Long Island animal organizations brought dogs from down South to be rescue dogs. This dog came up from Georgia or Alabama. We got the dog, a beautiful 1.5-year-old Chow mutt. That’s a very common breed in the South. I was drawn to it because—and I didn’t know it at the time—the Chow descended from Chinese emperors. One of my passions is Chinese poetry. I felt like I received a gift. This dog was a bit wild, she went through a trauma of her own at a home where the host died. She was not like herself. We didn’t know how she’d feel but she was at home right away. One of the first nights I was taking care of her, my wife was in the city, I turned my back, she went outside, chased something away–I thought I lost her. Somehow I lured her inside with a bone in the fridge, she dashed inside and I shut the door. How to get her to settle down and feel welcome despite the disruption in her life is as much we are all feeling, that she was in a place to feel trust. With passage of time, the same thing happened again about a month ago, when I was taking things in and out of the front door, she darted behind my back and got out. The back yard is fenced, but the front isn’t and I had a moment of panic. I looked outside; she was just sitting there, looking around. She never had really been in the front without a leash. She had gotten to that point. Part of what I realized is that she wasn’t running frantically because I wasn’t chasing her frantically. It’s a story relevant to my state of my mind. Much of how we reflect on the world is not so much on how the world is, but part of how you react is what you will get back. Part of the process is settling into our skills and understanding. That’s my story about my dog.

Terrie: For me, what’s been most interesting in settling into a new paradigm is an interior and exterior conversation for what it means to be a director of an art museum in a changing world. I always felt the Parrish should be a place of engagement for dialogue. But just that talk within the last year is not enough. Now, I think what I discovered, which is similar to your story, is that we need to learn to walk the walk. The only way to make it happen is to absorb what’s happening in the exterior, let it seep into the foundations of what the museum should be in this community, and hear what our community needs and wants from us. We need to try to figure out a way that we can come together in what we understand as the core values of the museum. From things like the Story Circle, it’s what we are about, how the boundaries and the attitudes of this institution can morph and change.

Joanne: I feel like I’m living in a soap opera, oh my god, I’ve never watched CNN so much in my life. What is he doing now? I don’t like that, but don’t want to miss anything of what’s going on. Today, whatever the latest thing is, there’s that. I want to know what’s going on, but don’t want to watch the news. Last year I was traveling a lot. The French have no idea of how it could happen. Can’t believe it. My husband is English, we visited his 90-year old mother, staying in St. Albans, just north of London, nice and affordable. It’s like sitting at the United Nations, never knowing who will be there. One morning, a very attractive mother and daughter came from Finland. The mother was getting the daughter settled into a local school near St. Albans. She kind of attentively, with perfect English, asked about our president. I was so much on the defensive, I didn’t want to defend him, I said it’s an embarrassment, but it was really interesting. Finland has one of the highest rates/standards of education, healthcare—we are sitting here, supposedly the wealthiest country in the world with nothing they have. Sometimes you have to go outside and look.

Mark-Antonio: I think that up until the last election we traveled so far as a nation in accepting one another. Bolstering our diversity in programs. Different races, peoples. We celebrated that for eight years. Then the seismic shift happened and I felt a sense of confusion, chaos. Something similar to what people are feeling with the dog running around, and I didn’t know what to do. I felt helpless. I made a commitment to myself to get out of that. I pulled myself closer to the chaos and sit still and listen. To get used to the new normal, and figure out how I can affect change. My dedication to seek out different organizations that were going to embolden my want of collaboration and felt the need of finding the same voices that go toward the same goal. It might be different in how we want it done, but my goal of taking action was to find a new normal. The new normal was a way of reaching the children in the community. Without the current administration, these truths of misunderstanding would have never come to the light. I felt that things were good before, I didn’t really need to push. I thought that our sense of community was building, they don’t really need me. I can sit back and let the administration do what they want and all the work. I was wrong, it’s a reawakening.

Terrie: This might be the take-away. We were all complacent, the voting percent is not very good. Until recently people felt like they didn’t need to be engaged. If there’s an upside, maybe that’s what you just described. If you want to live in this world, you must engage and be a part of the change. You can talk about community, take ownership of the community you want it to be.

Bill: I want to echo that, I’m extremely fortunate to be born into a family of political activists. I was there with Terrie at the Women’s March a year ago, and I found that’s the most comforting thing, getting in there and working is the best way to bring in the new world. If you don’t, you’re idle and weak. Best cure is to get engaged and it builds upon itself. It works on personal level, family level, state… the president isn’t going to be there forever. Worst case scenario is two terms, the administration won’t be there forever, the lesson taught us to get everyone together, working together.

Joanne: Especially women—a woman who has never run before in politics happened.

Terrie: If you have a vision of your future, you need to participate in it. Being hopeful is shared by everyone in a strange way, but having some power with our voices is important.

Bill: Healthy on a personal level to get involved.

Terrie: …like eating your Wheaties.

Bill: Exactly, and it makes that kind of difference. The benefit is going out there and seeing the change first hand. This activity included. And Terrie, I want to embarrass you a bit; since you’ve been in charge, I’ve seen the change and want to commend you on the success that allowed the community to come in. Very progressive way of engaging the public that the museum hasn’t seen in fifteen years.

Terrie: It’s not me… terrible cliché, but it involves a village. Every person in this room has ownership of what happens. Even people who don’t think that way, believe me, it’s true. This is everyone’s museum, and I’m comfortable having them thinking it’s theirs and part of their life. Otherwise what is the purpose of all the artworks held in public trust? What’s the point of the rooms if we can’t have people come and speak? Some of us know each other, some of us don’t. But we know each other now and will recognize each other. [to Beverly:] And I will never forget your story about your cousin! I asked him, told him about the Shinnecock walk. Explain what that means? He said tall, straight, and proud. All of us can benefit from tall, strong, and proud.

Mark-Antonio: Be the change you want to see.

Joanne: On my yoga wall, I have that.

Mark-Antonio: I felt that in the stories, being involved, making the connection. To do that, you need to make that step to make the connection, can’t just wait for that to happen.

Darlene: I love what you said, feeling the struggle, and being part of that. There’s a direction that’s happening that allows you to participate in the change. In this last year, I was asked to create a large commission, which I’ve never done. I listened to what was being asked, it was for Washington DC, for the community there, related to the idea of mapping. I did three pieces for a community room and they left it up to me, it was amazing and strange. I went through a whole list of ideas. Three pieces of different levels of our world where I felt so much right now. This conversation. The particular building had history, where was that in relation to everything else? I found where other important sites were. Focused on the space of community and interaction. That space through time, so many people were there through decades in the past trying to get through it together, through us, when we come together in any space. I did another piece called Seeds and Resonant Islands. This would be one of the seeds. This conversation tonight took place in many different areas. Looking from above, something is happening in energy, and that connects us all.

Joe: What’s interesting is to be here and making a transcript, having a chance going group to group, there’s this circle, the wider circle, the sense of how that large one connects out to the community. A mapping of the levels. I hope all can come on March 23rd.

End.

#psotu2018 #belonging #hope #women #children #family #racism #immigration #lgbt #religion #war #economy #education #art #activism #community #environment #indigenous #new york

0 notes

v2theg-blog · 7 years ago

Text

First blog.. ever. I don’t know really where to start but the former dream job of being the anchor for the 5pm Sportscenter along side Dan Patrick, SVP, or Stu Scott (RIP) has been replaced with being a blogger at barstool sports. That seems like a solid take off point, amiright? Not only am i a fan of spending time scrolling through twitter and IG videos, giggling to myself at memes and getting in internet bullying fights with strangers which usually ends up them telling me how much money they make. (Good for YOU) as i am sitting here, 26, in my moms house in sweatpants as comfortable as ill ever be eating some breakfast at lunch time, I’m going to shoot my shot. It keeps me up at night, seriously after i realize I’m not Aroldis Chapman or Gio Stanton I get to my next dream/reality job that brings me down to earth a little bit but how fucking cool would it be. i imagine throwing out my opinion that is more than likely gonna get shit on but thats expected and even sometimes preferred in some ways but the fact i was able to get how ever many clicks on a link or follows on a page and hopefully maybe 1 out of every 5 would read what some dude in SW MO has to say about what is going on around us and (i’ll try to stick to much to sports as i can but dammit we cant let the world go up in flames yet) will probably end with wtf he is talking about. with that being said at the same time i would rather communicate our differences rather than be silent and not learn from each other because were all different and mostly weird but thats okay, yea even you big fella.

So, here it all begins, My beloved cubs are going to clinch the central in STL in the final series of the season at end of this month. (Which im hopefully going to be at. its about a 85% chance for those of you who give a hoot) Anyway, football SZN just kicked away this past weekend and holy toledo folks I’m one happy camper along with all of my NFL brethren I’m sure. Even though i lost in every type of Fantasy Football out there known to man. Also, Don’t forget about the good old hardwood either, the NBA tip off is closer than we think so bust our sweats and hoodies out from the back of the closet along with a side of chili/hot chocolate/whiskey and bonfires. (not necessarily in the order)

Im outro,

Love you guys.

0 notes

kbaldwin0609 · 7 years ago

Text

‘The Bachelorette’ Season Premiere Recap: Rachel Gets Her Groove On

Dean and Rachel (Photo: ABC)

Warning: This recap of of the Season 13 premiere of The Bachelorette contains spoilers.

Happy lucky number 13, rose lovers! Full confession: I’ve already decided that our new Bachelorette — the “sassy yet classy” Rachel Lindsay — is too good for any of the bozos this franchise could ever find and this is all, once again, an exercise in emotional futility… but if this franchise has taught me anything, it’s that life is about the “journey.” So let’s kick ours off, shall we?

Yes, I object to the lengthy, episode-padding “refresher” about Rachel’s doomed courtship with Nick on The Bachelor, and honestly if I never see the clip Dean saying “I’m ready to go black and I’m never going back” again, it’ll be to soon. But the preamble was all worth it for this moment alone:

Photos: ABC

Nosy old ladies FTW! Anyhow, let’s meet (a handful of) the guys:

Kenny, 35: Perhaps it’s just because he’s a professional wrestler (aka “Pretty Boy Pitbull” Kenny King), but Kenny’s declaration that he’s “coming to The Bachelorette to win your heart” sounds a little bit more like a threat than it should. But of course in real life, he’s a softie. Just look at how sweet he is with his 10-year-old daughter:

Fine, we’ll allow it.

Jack, 31: This lawyer from Dallas lost his mom to cancer in high school, so his intro package consists almost entirely of him staring pensively off into the distance.

Alex, 28: A meathead who can read! Revolutionary.

Does this Detroit-based “Information Systems Supervisor” still live with his parents? Unclear. But we are down with mom’s advice: NO KISSING ON THE MOUTH. It worked for Pretty Woman, pal, so it could work for you.

Mohit, 26: All you need to know about this guy is he likes to participate in Bollywood dance competitions (along with his regular job of launching some kind of startup).

Lucas, 30: Meet this season’s Designated Idiot. Not sure whether Lucas has a job or any family members who still talk to him, but we do know that he has a catchphrase — “Whaaaboooom!” —and he’s committed enough to get that catchphrase printed on a t-shirt.

Blake E., 31: Though he identifies himself as a “personal trainer and sports nutritionist,” Team Bachelorette prefers to call him an “aspiring drummer” on screen, because that sounds so much more pathetic. Not that Blake needs any help sounding foolish, as he says things like “I would say scientifically, my libido is above average” and “Many women have told me about the amazingness of my penis.” And how does Blake repay his penis for earning him all that praise? By forcing it to squeeze into these nut-hugging jeans.

Rude.

Diggy, 31: This dude from Chicago (real name, Kenneth) has 575 pairs of sneakers. So, yeah. Next?

Josiah, 28: Do you enjoy sobbing uncontrollably? Then this terrible backstory is for you. When Josiah was 7, his older brother hung himself in the backyard after being bullied — and Josiah was the one who cut him down from the tree. Traumatized, Josiah turned “to the streets” for a mentor and got arrested for burglary when he was 12. Fortunately, a Wise Judge pulled the boy aside and told him, “You’re not a thug.” Now Josiah is a lawyer who represents his community and puts bad guys in jail! Plus, he looks great in a tank top.

When Rachel arrives at Casa Bachelorette for the first time, she’s greeted there by “the people that know me the best”: The cast of Bachelor in Paradise Season 4!

Joining Jasmine, Dolphin Shark and Platinum Vagine are Raven the Runner-Up, Kristina, and two women I couldn’t identify until I consulted a cheat-sheet: Astrid and Whitney. Anyhow, the “ladies” give Rachel a pep talk about going with following her heart, etc. Then Whitney (or is it Astrid?) tells Rachel that her best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who says “the second guy” from After the Final Rose isn’t there for the right reasons. (FYI: Said guy is Blake E., of the much-praised penis.)

In all seriousness, though, all of these women really do seem to like and respect Rachel, which is, frankly, a miracle given how women usually respond to each other on this show. “One reason why you connected with all of us, even though we’re all so different, is because pulled the best out of us,” Raven says, tearing up. “I hope someone goes hard for you.” That sounds kinda weird, but still, it’s sweet.

At last, it’s time. Harrison greets our queen at Casa Bachelorette with a warm hug, before sending in the limos. Let the Robot Roll Call Begin!

Peter, 30: It’s a solid opening effort for this “business owner” from Wisconsin: He makes a little joke about being from Nick’s home state and then heads inside before he says something stupid. Watch and learn, fellas.

Josiah emerges next, looking sharp in a silver-and-black ensemble — and he makes the first of what’s sure to be many legal jokes of the evening: “I am convinced that by the end of our experience together, you will have no reasonable doubt that I’m the man for you.”

Bryan, 37: Chris Harrison told Yahoo TV that Bryan is a “Latin-lover type,” and the chiropractor from Miami lives up to that description with his suave, Spanish-language intro.

Kenny the professional wrestler wisely does not lead with a gimmick related to his day job, and instead breaks the ice with an arm wave.

It makes Rachel laugh, so mission accomplished.

Rob, 29: Pretty sure this guy is here solely to help ABC plug their Bachelorette Fantasy League.

Iggy, 30: Quick, genuine-seeming “I’m so happy to be here” intro. Too bad this Consulting Firm CEO didn’t tell the story featured in his ABC bio about the time he got a boner in a board meeting.

Bryce, 30: A beefy firefighter, he shows up in uniform and sweeps Rachel up in his arms, because… he’s a firefighter, so it’s okay? Anyhow, she doesn’t seem to mind.

Will, 28: I’m 100 percent on board with this guy’s Urkel-inspired introduction. It was silly, funny, and best of all, quick.

That said, it would have worked even better if he stayed in his Urkel costume all night. If Alexis can get a rose in a shark costume, pal, you should be able to score in suspenders.

After a quick hello from Diggy, we meet Kyle, 26, who tells Rachel he wants to show her his “buns” — meaning, of course, that he brought her food. Nothing wrong with that.

Blake K., 29: Finally, a Blake who doesn’t talk about how great his penis is! This Marine tells the Bachelorette that his grandparents only dated for “a few months” and they’ve been married for 65 years… so who says an 8-week reality show can’t lead to love?

Brady, 29: Has it really taken 13 seasons of The Bachelorette and 21 seasons of The Bachelor for someone to make this “break the ice” joke?

I’m disappointed in us, America.

Dean, 26: This is the dude who used the “I’m ready to go black” pick-up line at After the Final Rose, and after taking flak for it on Twitter, he feels a little sheepish about facing Rachel again.

The Bachelorette is once again gracious about it and tells Dean she appreciated his “confidence” on ATFR night. The “but don’t do it again” was clearly implied, though.

Eric, 29: This personal trainer met — and danced with — Rachel during ATFR. “This is gonna be our thing,” predicts the Bachelorette, as she and Eric dance it out again.

DeMario, 30: Hello again to DeMario, the guy who brought a ring and tickets to Vegas on After the Final Rose. If you thought he brought the confidence on ATFR, he’s even more focused now. “I’m looking forward to being able to have many more first moments — first date, first kiss, first Christmas…” And she LOVES it.

Oh DeMario, if only you hadn’t ruined your great second impression by falling victim to the most insidious grammatical error in the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise: “I have that confidence that it’s gonna be her and I.”

Blake E., 31 arrives with a full marching band in tow — confirming everyone’s suspicions that yes, he is overcompensating for something. (And, to be fair, Blake’s also trying to make up for his tongue-tied intro at After the Final Rose.)

What’s that you say, Harrison? We’re “not even close to being done” meeting the guys? Oof, keep ‘em coming, then.

Fred, 27: Thank goodness Harrison explained this situation for us last week in his 5 Guys to Watch interview, otherwise I would have been completely lost. Turns out Fred and Rachel went to a camp together when they were younger — she was a counselor, he was a camper — and he’s carried a torch for her ever since. “I knew exactly who he was when he came out of the limo,” insists Rachel. “He was a very bad kid!” I dunno, this could either end up like a rom-com… or a Lifetime Movie Network thriller.

Jonathan, 31: There’s a reason Team Bachelorette doesn’t give this guy an on-screen ID when he first emerges from the limo. It’s because this is the asshat whose occupation is listed as “tickle monster” on his ABC bio… and that’s exactly what he does to our Rachel.

Hands off, pal. As Davey points out in the Judy Blume classic Tiger Eyes, tickling is a form of torture — and torturing someone is not a great way to make a first impression.

Lee, 30: Speaking of torture, this “singer/songwriter” from Nashville arrives with guitar in hand and begins serenading Rachel with a half-assed composition.

Literary meathead Alex, 28, dances out of the limo with a vacuum, in a cute callback to Rachel’s original Bachelor intro.

Milton, 31: What’s a “Hotel Recreation Supervisor”? We’ll never know, because once he takes a selfie with Rachel, producers move on to…

Adam, 26: On what planet does “arriving with a creepy doll named after you” sound like a good way to impress a woman you’re trying to date? Seriously, this thing is the stuff of nightmares.

Why is “Adam Jr” from France while human Adam is from Dallas? Who can say. Either way, Rachel wants them both to go away right now.

Matt, 32: This “construction sales rep” from Connecticut shows up in a full penguin costume, in a less-than-subtle homage to the fantastic penguin pajamas Rachel wore on her overnight date with Nick.

And props to Matt for keeping (most of) the costume on all night.

Grant, 29: This “Emergency Medicine Physician” gets a blink-and-you’ll-miss it intro (seriously, the ambulance he came in got more screen time). He’s quickly followed up by…

Anthony, 26: “I’m here to help you understand me, and I will commit myself to understanding you as well.” A little stiff, but I suppose we can’t fault him for choosing not to make a fool of himself right off the bat.

Jamey, 32: Barely has time to utter one compliment — “This dress is ridiculous!” — before Team Bachelorette shuttles him inside.

Jack Stone the lawyer (why does he get two names? There are no other Jacks!) shows up next, followed by Mohit. But the “sausage fest” (Bryan from Miami’s term) isn’t over yet.

Jedidiah, 35: This ER physician with a Biblical name doubles down and goes with a full-on Old Testament intro: “When Jacob met Rachel, he wept.” The Bachelorette is impressed… or at least she pretends to be: “Oooh, Biblical. I love it.”

Michael, 26: This “Former Pro Basketball Player” from Chicago had time to bake Rachel some brownies, because he is a “Former Pro Basketball Player,” which is not, in fact, a job. “The blacker the brownie, the sweeter the dude,” Michael informs our heroine.

Naturally, Team Bachelorette saves the worst — that would be Lucas “Whaboom” — for last. Do I really need to tell you that Lucas subjects our Bachelorette to a performance of his catchphrase — which makes him look like a dog having a seizure while sticking its head out of a speeding car — and that Rachel somehow still manages to sound completely genuine when she says, “So nice to meet you”?

The guys aren’t as forgiving. “That’s the crazy one,” notes DeMario. “Let the circus begin,” adds Jonathan Tickle Monster, who really isn’t in a position to judge, but whatever.

Praise be to the heavens, the intros are finally over.

So do we, honey. Josiah is the first to ask Rachel for a one-on-one chat, and he leads her outside to the (not really) good-natured jeers and catcalls of his jealous competitors. You snooze, you lose, boys. Josiah’s got an amazing story and he’s not going to waste any time making sure Rachel knows it.

Not everyone can have a “full-circle” backstory, though, so many of the other guys need to rely on props to make an impression on Rachel. Dean, no doubt hoping to erase his ATFR blunder from the Bachelorette’s mind completely, has the Bachelorette Interns bring in a small sandbox where he and Rachel can play while they chat. Rob pulls out an actual Rachel Lindsay trading card he had made for his Bachelorette Fantasy League.

And don’t forget about AJ, the terrifying doll version of Adam the real estate agent. Team Bachelorette spends a good three minutes on this joke, as Adam Junior stalks Rachel from place to place while she chats with the other guys. The doll even gets its own confessional, complete with a steamy French voiceover.

Let us all take a moment of silence to remember the guys who will, in the end, get less screen time than AJ, an inanimate object.

Moving on to Frederick. “You were a bad kid!” Rachel reminds him, a scolding tone in her voice. Though in the privacy of her confessional the Bachelorette admits to finding Fred “very attractive” today, she’s not sure she can get past seeing him as a misbehaving third-grader.

From boys to men: Bryan steals Rachel away from Fred to give her a Spanish lesson… and then he goes in (a little too hot, in my opinion) for a kiss.

Oooh, someone really wants that First Impression Rose. As soon as Harrison chums the water, the FIR feeding frenzy gets underway, and it seems a little more aggressive than usual. Guys are jostling each other to get in front of Rachel, and giving each other pep talks from the sidelines.

Unfortunately, poor Mohit is too drunk to walk the few steps to where Rachel’s sitting, so Lee the “singer/songwriter” slides into the opening instead. Indeed, as the night wears on, everyone’s getting a little sloppy — including Lucas, who pulls the jackass (but admittedly kind of funny) move of narrating Peter’s conversation with Rachel through his bullhorn.

“He’s a f***ing clown,” explains Blake E., in case we didn’t already know. Correction: Lucas is a f***ing drunk, exhausted, and hangry clown. “Forget the whabooms, forget the ‘let the big dog eat…’,” mumbles Lucas, when he finally gets to sit down with Rachel. “Who’s the big dog? Are you the big dog?” Rachel replies, in a tone normally reserved for toddlers on the verge of a meltdown. “Do you need to eat?” Yes, someone please get this man a burger and some black coffee, preferably spiked with Ambien.

As gracious as she is, even Rachel is starting to get annoyed with the guys’ buffoonish antics as the night wears on. Milton’s incessant growling, for example, is working her last nerve. “The first time he did it, he got a pass. The second time, I said, ‘Oh no, this is his thing,’” sighs Rachel. “It’s not mine.”

Meanwhile, Blake E. is trying to get Lucas to admit that he’s just Here To Be On TV™, but by doing so Blake’s giving Lucas exactly what he wants — more screen time.

Lucas: “I think everybody has a little Whaboom in them.” Blake E.: “I have no Whaboom in me.”

Aaand scene.

Though it looks for a second that Kenny the wrestler — who has a heartfelt chat with Rachel about his life as a dad — would get the First Impression Rose, it goes to… Bryan, the ambush-kisser. When he and Rachel kiss this time, though, the only one surprised about it is poor, drunk Mohit.

Oh Lord have mercy, Chris Harrison and his Butter Knife of Bad News have finally arrived. It’s rose ceremony time! Rachel tells Harrison that she’s “confident” about the cuts she’s about to make, before heading into the slaughter. And the roses go to: Peter, Will (who? oh right, Urkel!), Jack, Jamey, Iggy, Eric, DeMario, Jonathan the Tickle Monster (!), Bryce, Alex, Kenny, Dean, Matt the Penguin, Anthony, Brady, Josiah, Lee, Diggy, Fred, Adam (minus AJ), Blake E., and… Lucas? While this is terrible news for humanity in general, it does provide us with some pretty amazing reaction shots from the guys who Rachel chose over Whaboom.

First there’s Milton, the living embodiment of SMDH.

And there’s Mohit, who chooses this exact moment to reevaluate every decision he’s ever made in his life.

And so we also bid adieu to Rob, Matt, Blake K., Grant, Jedidiah, Kyle, and Michael. (And yes, I had to triple check who some of these guys were.)

One “this season on” supertease later, and we’re done, rose lovers! And I want to hear all of your thoughts. Who do you like? Who (besides Whaboom) do you want off your TV screen ASAP? And which guy do you think has the very angry, cellphone-wielding ex-girlfriend? Post your thoughts now! And don’t forget to check out Chris Harrison’s exclusive blog right here.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see if I can find a half-sized Chris Harrison Jr. doll on Etsy.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Read more from Yahoo TV: ‘Twin Peaks’ Part 1 and 2 Recap: Meanwhile ‘Supergirl’ Star Katie McGrath on Waiting For That Luthor Gene to Kick In Your TV To-Do List: ABC Remakes ‘Dirty Dancing,’ ‘Bloodline’ Returns and More

#_revsp:wp.yahoo.tv.us #_uuid:41608931-c8b9-3cac-8ef3-c47c46821ae2 #the bachelorette #_author:Kristen Baldwin #_category:yct:001000086 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000AE7lXEAT

1 note · View note