#i am now 28 years old
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It's my 11 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
#11 year tumblrversary#tumblr milestone#I've had the same profile pic and header for like 8 years#i can't believe its been a decade already#i started this blog in my first year at university#i am now 28 years old#i may have aged like bread#I survived the great tumblr purge of 2020#or was it 2019?#doesn't matter#keep calm and live on my doods
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"chilchuck is that one 'she is 10000-year-old dragon' trope but he is guy so no one ever think it is weird" "people who thirst over him is a pedo" Do. You. Even. Read. The. Manga.
#I HATE ALL OF YOU I HATE ALL OF YOU FOR SAYING SHIT LIKE THAT#THE WHOLE POINT OF HIS RACE IS THAT THEY ARE INFANTILIZED FOR THE WAY THEY LOOK#and he hates being treated like a child!!!#he also dislike how his fellow halflings infantilize themselves to other races#ok so the problem with the “she is 1000 year old” dragon trope is that alot of these characters act like a child#for example that one dragon girl from you know what show#she is explicitly stated to be a child and acts like one#and her age is equivalent of a 10 year old#but the creator constantly sexualizing her#while chilchuck is anything but that. how many times i had to say this. he is 28 which is middle age for his race#and has 3 adult children#im sick of this discourse please let it end already!!#adult characters who happened to be youthful looking =/= sexualizing children#im sorry for the long tags. i am pissed off right now!!!! i want to explode!!!#dungeon meshi#chilchuk tims#clione ramblings#tw pedophila mention
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I JUST CAUGHT MY FIRST EVER SHINY IN POKÉMON, OH MY SWEET BABIES!!!
She’s beautiful and I love her TTATT
#Pokémon#shiny pokemon#exeggutor#alolan exeggutor#jmp16#I am 28 years old#I have only ever played Pokémon casually#I am SO HYPE about this#I’ve been playing these games for TWENTY YEARS#and only now get a shiny with full odds#she’s tall and she’s beautiful and she’s a model
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with dav coming out y'all need to learn how to draw people over 30 right now
#i've seen my third '40 year old' inky that looks 28 MAXIMUM and i can't do this. it's literally not that hard#you're just afraid of making them look ugly#and that as an artist is something you need to fix right the fuck now#i'm talking to artists who are VERY much at the skill level to notice these things#taking my own advice too btw i am not immune to beauty industry propaganda#sometimes i forgor
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the thing about begging for so long for God to give you gifts and feeling like there was nothing in response for years - the thing about being like okay, i guess i'll just make the best of things alone - is when the gifts start coming you don't know how to receive them well
#or if they're the right gifts.#or if the gifts are going to turn around and stab you in the back.#i'm grateful i'm just confused#and i'm old enough now to realize that nobody (on earth) can tell me what to do with them#it's just. well i'm an adult now. i really am.#just a ummm ummnnn 28 year old girl
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Did driving practice today. Actually did parallel parking practice this time, even tho I really didn't want to still. Finally got it into my head that I can maybe do this.
SO......
I have scheduled my driving test. For November 13th, 3 weeks from today.
#speculation nation#IM SO NERVOUSSSSS but i need to do it. i need to. worst case scenario i fail and have to try again another day.#i was actually gonna try to schedule for a week from today but they were full up for the next 2 weeks.#so. 3 weeks! my therapist is gonna be happy for me when i tell her haha#this is. something ive been avoiding for over 10 years now. but i decided at the start of this year that This would be my year.#Year Of Unfuck My Life. and im finally doing it. im going to finally get my license.#it's so. huge actually. a similar level of Holy Shit factor as me graduating.#which seems like an uneven comparison but honestly ive just been so so so scared of this driving test#an insurmountable obstacle bc i was stuck at school away from family to help me practice etc etc#very tied up with me being stuck at school for so long actually. the neverending purgatory of being Stuck In Place.#but my cousin lives closer to me now and hes been helping me out. and i am so very grateful.#augh augh augh augh. life is so busy and it feels like everything is happening at once AAAAAAAAAAAA#but im taking it all in stride. i am. oh god i might have to just practice and then take my audition video all on the same day.#bc i am too tired to deal with it rn and i have an exam tomorrow so idk if i can practice then. also i have to clean.#i will make it work. i will make something work. for the love of fucking god i will make it work.#no time to write barely any time to relax but thats okay i am Go Go Going and trying to keep enough time to sleep#(prior few nights being the..exception lol.)#i certainly wouldnt want to live this way for too long. but just a few more months. i can do it.#next semester hopefully wont be as busy. i'll have 3 hard classes but if im lucky they wont even have much homework.#i can do it. i can get through it. i will get my license in 3 weeks (manifesting) and i will get my own car.#i will find a new apartment to live in. i will Hopefully find a job.#within a year my life is going to be much much different.#my life is Already much much different than it was just a year ago. tho this year has been more... metamorphosis.#in a year's time. i will be 28 years old. and the pieces will Finally be falling into place (hopefully!!!!!)#for now. god i need to rest. will probably go to sleep early tonight. need to be rested for my exam tomorrow.#first tho i gotta shower and feed both me and the cats. yes.
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it's my birthday! aka annual demand for cat photos time! if you know a cat Please show it to me
#i am never going to stop doing this btw. every year as soon as it becomes may 2nd for the rest of my life. SHOW ME CATS#gay belligerence#i came so close to impulse buying myself a theremin yesterday but restraint won out. for now#bought some sage green side plates at tesco instead#Fun For 28-Year Olds
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quilting is so good for my mental health. what better way to work out your anger at the world than slicing fabric with razors
#i cried and took a nap and now i'm normal again#i really am a toddler in a 28 year old's body#m.txt
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nothing is more humbling then a 8-years-old telling me i don't know how to draw and then demands of me to draw power puff girls for her all afternoon long!
#this bubbly princess running on pure water french fries and exactly 4 counted tortellini#is the absolute art director in my living room#she want's power puff girls so power puff girls shall it be#“do you know power puff girls?”#“i am 28 years old child”#(child that can't even name them) “yes... but do you know the powerpuff girls?”#other reply were “you had TV back then???”#“how were you able keeping them apart when they were black and withe?”#also child: “i need all my fingers and all my toes to be your age!” (she was odly exited and proud of that realisation... )#also she got home with my old grafic tablet and is now a nightmare to my uncle hahah#uncle plugged the old thing in and this child is drawing on paint as if her life depends of it!#you are welcome world! new artist is born!#kids are being kids! which is good!
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Delighted by the thought that 8 years from now I could be a totally different person and I can't possibly predict how I will turn out
#i know like a lot of people have very specific desires for their futures (me too) and therefore are terrified of the idea#that shit is bound to happen to us that is entirely beyond our control or comprehension#but its not so scary to me because i know 12 year old me would be so proud of who i am today#so much is going on right now that i am very grateful for that i didnt think woud ever be possible#even as i was living through the past 8 years i didnt ever think i could have the life i am living right now#but its happening!#and its not perfect but its a huge improvement from my life at fucking 12 lol#so maybe that's how i'll feel about now when i am 28
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might fuck around and change my tumblr url
#have had this one since i was seventeen ...#it's actually just a question of what do i change it TO#i'll always be fond of this one ofc but like. 17-year-old alex picked it out. i am 28-year-old Alex now <3#personal
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I hope all sanists kill themselves
#huge sanist argued with me because i told them it was bad they commented an I Am In Your Walls joke on a schizophrenia positivity post#and then proceeded to belittle and infantalize me when they realized they had no argument to defend their behavior#im so fed up with sanists#ive lost my patience! no more arguing im just gonna hope they die from now on <3 i cant deal with their shit anymore#honestly them bullying schizophrenic people on the internet at 28 years old? embarassing. get a life.
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Should I end my tolerance break tonight or should I continue and see how long this can go on for
#full disclosure it’s only been two days#i’ll be honest kitten; daddy might have a fucking problem#look it’s not even… weed is not addictive. obviously#BUT i am not in the greatest mental state right now. i am not exactly a shining example of perfect mental health#i’m a 28 year old loser who peaked in undergrad and is a self employed freelancer BUT is too lazy to make decent money freelancing#i really need a manager breathing down my neck to get me to do the bare minimum or more consistently#i’m also super not doing well regarding 1) my dad’s deathiversary 2) my ongoing grief over mabel (yes she was a dog but if you say she was#‘just a dog’ i will come to your house and throw up in your walls DON’T DO IT. DON’T TRY IT. I LOVED HER)#and also just. the crushing weight of it all.#if i have edibles i don’t have to think about the fact i thought i’d either be dead or successful by now and instead i’m alive and mediocre#am i really supposed to freeball THIS reality. THIS ONE???#but then it’s like it creates a vicious cycle because is the weed making me unproductive or do i want the weed BECAUSE i’m unproductive#and it helps me forget that i’m a complete and utter loser. 🧐#listen i’ve gotten less done during this tolerance break than i did last week when i pretty much had a weed gummy every night#i’m not saying there’s a correlation but what i AM saying is it’s suspicious#i could continue the break until the weekend. that seems like the best plan#personal
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🚬🧸🧃🎀
#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance#so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life#and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future#so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D#what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk)#i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it#i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months#then i'll start my other 4 classes in january#i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery)#(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..)#also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt#if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may#if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless#i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university????#i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education#bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it#also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move#i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!!#but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try#i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?
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They had no damn business making a potential tyrannical dictator that damn FINE
#they fucking knew what they were doing#it’s hollywoods fault#and now we are all on our knees for that man#“but he killed finnick’’ I KNOW 😭#I AM TRYING TO HATE THIS MAN AND I CANT#THE WAY HE KISSED LUCY GRAY????#kissed her like she was oxygen and he was dying#kiss ME like that fr damn#kiss of life in-fucking-deed#to be fair tho#Tom Blyth is hot asf#currently stalking his instagram now#and the interviews?????#he’s literally perfect#they could’ve picked any actor#ANY ACTOR#and they picked a 28 year old british man who looks good with a cigarette and floppy hair#and his EYES#they are so intense and captive#i think we were all done for#overall#TBOSAS was amazing#loved how they kept it mostly accurate to the book and the songs were beautiful#rachel zegler is literally stunning and talented#coriolanus snow
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almost cried when chatting to a customer today who said they'd recently started T, and I think that's probably a sign I need to get myself on T like yesterday pls
#for real though it's on my wishlist for this year but I am v nervous about talking to the people who make it happen#don't want to enter my 30s without some bit of medical transition going on#but also im having to actively work through the internalised terf rhetoric of oh no what if going on T is bad#like damn it can't be worse than not being on T for me and even the 'bad' bits like acne would feel affirming#ready to live my best gross teenage boy life at 28#and also! I've wanted to go on T for ages but it's only over the past couple years I allowed myself to want ut#because it felt unachievable so best to kill the agent of desire as jenny holzer said#but now I'm like nope I'm too old not to live my truth#anyway#Nic stuff
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