#i am not very nice to izzie in this verse

[izstevns]

short thg verse summary! izzie is from district 6... her father was already married when he had an affair with izzie's mom and he refused to take responsibility for izzie or her mother, so she was raised with very little. when she was old enough, she tried taking various odd jobs she could find to support both her and her mother as well as taking out tesserae. when izzie's fifteen years old, she falls in love with one of the boys working in one of the factories. she becomes pregnant. the boy cuts ties with her, having mainly been into her just for her looks, and nasty rumors spread about izzie, resulting in her becoming ostracised from the rest of the district. knowing she has no way of supporting a child, she brokers a deal with one of the richer families in district 6. the wife had been unable to bear children, so izzie gives up her baby to them in exchange for a few month's supply of food. in the end it's not about the food for izzie, but about wanting her baby to have a better life. the story others hear is that izzie lost the baby in a miscarriage. a year later at sixteen years old, a few months after having given up her daughter, she gets reaped for the 62th hunger games (i am changing enoboria to winning the 61th hunger games it just works better for me age wise sorry). while she isn't seen as one of the stronger tributes, she does become pretty popular because of her looks. just like back at home, she uses this to her advantage to get sponsors, while simultaneously working the angle of appearing as a slightly ditzy blonde. when she's in the arena, her smarts really show themselves and she's able to survive and hold her own, eventually winning her games. when she returns home as a victor, her reputation has suddenly turned shining, but izzie doesn't forget the way she or her mother were treated before and closes herself off from the rest of her district folk. much like the other victors popular for their looks, izzie becomes a sought after prize. izzie does what it takes to survive. just as she has always done. she mentors young new tributes every year and goes along with capitol life. just after the 74th hunger games, izzie falls sick with an illness even the capitol can't cure. by the time of the quarter quell, it's becoming almost impossible to hide. she knows she's dying. part of her wants to volunteer to take the place of one of the morphlings, but she's aware a rebellion is brewing and she thinks she's of more help outside of the arena. izzie does what she can to aid haymitch, plutarch and the rest of the resistance within the capitol. when the forcefield around the arena gets blown up, izzie is one of the victors taken by the capitol. in most verses, she will not make it out, succumbing to her sickness before they are freed. in some others, she will be freed together with the remaining victors, only to live a short life in district 13 and a subsequent liberated panem before she will inevitably die of her illness.

[alexanderlightweight]

Hello! For Writing Wednesday could we please have some more Spoils of War or Created for Death? I’m obsessed with both of these to an insane degree:

What I love about SoW: tentative!Alec whom Magnus has to work at gaining trust from? I love it. There’s a line in one part about Magnus having to fix how the Clave broke Alec before Magnus can gentle him and I just—gorgeous, perfect, headcannon accepted. Veiled consorts? Hooooooly that’s so cool omg I swear I heard a symphony in my head when I realized where you were going. The mask? Alec’s hesitance and obedience, thinking everything is out to hurt him but doing it anyway because what choice does he have, is so beautiful, and Magnus mourning a little that he didn’t have more time to make the experience better for Alec but not willing to risk the delay and risk Alec growing even more distant is just 😍—lmao I could write an essay about how much I love this universe.

CoD: I fucking love eldritch angel nephilim and this is giving EVERYTHING. Nephilim who are cobbled together projects of the angels, their biology so skewed by angelic power that even the nephilim don’t know what their children will look like/heal like/die like. Mostly the difference being subtle, but sometimes Not. Raised to hate and fear their full potential, anything that is Too Angelic, and Alec a living hearsay/blasphemy even when his blood was only 30/70 because if it. AND THEN. It’s not losing Jace that tips Alec over, it’s Magnus dying—demon-born prince/king of edom enemy of the Clave. So gorgeous, holllyyyy. I can’t even think too much about Magnus collaring 6-winged Alec, about Alec kneeling for him, about the terrible kindness and protection in Izzy disowning her brother, about the gentleness of Magnus hiding Alec away and covering his eyes and hushing him because even the ANGELS wouldn’t know what to do in this situation, with this new body, and then Team Immortal coming in and IMMORTALITY and wow

Anyway yeah sorry for spitting up my lovestruck brain in your asks but I had to make sure that you knew you’ve struck me deeply with your writing and that’s why I’m begging on your doorsteps for literally any content in either one of these verses 💜

i'm very glad both stories are being enjoyed so much and please don't apologize i love stuff like this! it's a huge compliment but also it's just really nice to see that other people are as into and obsessed with my verses as i am. because sometimes i wait for my sleep meds to kick in and i just plot where i'm going and end up passing out in the middle of a mental scene being written lol

so i wrote a thing for spoils of war and thank you! i'm glad it was enjoyed because i have this big headcanon about how consorts are really magically important to warlocks and magical kings if dominion magic is in the fic and a big thing about that is protecting the consorts identity. via masks but also cloaking the consort in so much magic that you can't even tell anything abut them besides what the warlock allows you to know. and there is a lot of history thats hinted at

-

for created for death

izzy was fucked up about that, okay. but she had to relinquish alec as a brother because otherwise the clave still had ties to him. since they don't need them anymore, the clave sort of doesn't let true nephilim have any rights. so alec had to be disowned as a nephilim and then magnus was basically like 'okay but my magic is on him so hes mine since i calmed him down' and izzy was like 'he totally counts as a weapon. yours now. because thats the safest thing for alec atm

so alec is actually 70/30 and most nephilm are 30/70 in a angelic/mundane equation. which is why he was being kept watch over by the clave but uh, the fear of magnus dying kinda made him lose it

i hope you enjoy this!

<3 lumine

spoils of war

—

Alec doesn’t know what’s going on.

Magnus didn’t bother explaining what the ritual was or what it did beyond that it was yet another bonding ceremony. But even their political wedding that signified the end of a war didn’t feel this elaborate.

Alec knows it doesn’t really matter, that he’ll be taking part in the ritual whether he knows what it does or not. In fact, it's almost better not to know than to know what he might need to do.

Alec can’t say no to whatever is going to happen and he knows that, so he takes comfort in the fact that he can still see. The mask has magic in and through it and Alec tries not to consider where it’s from and why he can feel nephil magic still fading from it.

Instead, he concentrates on Magnus and his magic and puts out the thoughts and details of his surroundings, like being watched by over a thousand warlocks and their companions, all hidden with their faces hidden behind a variety of masks.

It’s daunting to be here, to be taking part in something that feels so old and sacred when Alec was supposed to be no more than chattel. Fodder for a war built on the blood of innocents that Alec’s own people started.  It feels wrong to be here so defenseless and yet know that Magnus’ magic will protect him better than any weapon.

—

Carefully, Magnus uses magic to take off Alexander’s ceremonial collar and he instead replaces it with a loop of pure magic that will slowly take on more and more power until the image of it will always become whatever Magnus wishes it to be.

For now, however, it is a tight loop of deep purple magic that pulses with Magnus’ magic and power in time to Alexander's every breath.

It’s a show of power to summon a single adamas arrow — one that Alexander gave to Magnus by his own hand — and hold it without harm. Alexander sucks in a startled breath — perhaps at the sight of one of his own arrows or that Magnus can hold it with ease — and Magnus can feel him quiver under Magnus’ palm.

“My protection is absolute. When you bleed it will be because I wish it, for no other is allowed to spill your blood.” Magnus uses the arrowhead to nick Alexander’s upper lip — just as he cut the lower with the stele — and then he leans forward to lick it off and suckle the cut until he earns a whine of pain.

“The flames of Edom will devour all before allowing anyone to touch you without my permission.” Magnus promises and his fingers dance with flames that brush harmlessly over Alexander’s neck — the shard of Magnus’ soul claiming Alexander in an undeniable way that will protect him from harm in Edom.

Alexander seems torn between leaning forward and stepping away and Magnus knows his boy better now than he did when they were wed. Alexander needs no leash as Magnus first thought, just a steady hand and Magnus’ voice.

The bonds between them are the only tether Magnus will ever need with Alexander.

“Sweetheart—” Magnus teases, his voice caressing Alexander with magic and he can see how his boy shudders at the sound and feel of it. He steps forward unconsciously, he's been instinctively drawn to Magnus from the very beginning and Magnus croons and reaches out. His palm blooms with hellfire before settling on Alexander’s hip and Magnus pulls him closer still.

“Should any look at you without being graced by my benevolence, their sight shall be consumed by my magic. A payment for stealing a glimpse of what is only mine to see.”

Magnus’ vows are instinctive and there is a primal surge of delight as he takes the ritual a step further, cursing any being who would dare look at Alexander’s uncovered face without his blessing.

It’s an old tradition.

Older still than the ritual Magnus is using and it’s something that has been out of style for over three centuries. Magnus still remembers the stories of how the legend of Medusa started. A warlock desperate to protect her gorgeous consort cursed her love with a vicious, loving protection.

Magnus knows now that Alexander expects to be a spectacle.

A disgraced nephilim in the eyes of his own people, traded away for a peace bought with his soul and virginity. Alexander expected to be paraded around as a mockery, a whipping boy for the clave to offer to the warlocks and it’s clear that’s what the clave told him he was.

But Alexander is not something to be gawked at.

He is not someone who Magnus will allow others to see, not to admire and certainly not to laugh over. Alexander is his consort and if that means that Magnus veils him in magic and curses all those who dare look upon him, then so be it.

[1nm2]

1, 13, 22, 26

what does your URL mean, and why did you choose it?

the formula for 1 pascal, which is a very simple formula 1(newton / m square). It helps me remember a group of tenish other more complex formulas that I need for one of my other hobbies.

I only felt I had to change it because I was told the other one could make people think I was a troll, and that it was one of the things that was turning followers away.

which is funny-interesting because it would mean people are scared of a bunch of letters

13. have you written original characters?

Many of my canons I’ve taken out and written things that look entirely different from the feel of their canon.

I have some NPCs like Izzy and Maruka Lara in the Aliens universe, and awesome plans for the verse that I doubt I would have the chance to bring to light.

The superhero guy is an oc in the dark knight verse.

Poison Ivy has been taken so far from canon you could consider it your apocalyptic reality in the near future

many other npcs around i would love to develop

22. what have you learned by proxy of roleplaying and rp researching?

I get rejected a lot and maybe it means that I really am not good at writing. I do want to write but what I want from people is not what they want, so there’s a great mismatch. I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s just what it is and just unfortunate I’m on the side where it’s hard for me to find people who want to write with me (to those who are actively writing with me, I appreciate you).

(none on the content)

26. what faceclaim do you wish you could play, and why haven't you used them/yet?

That’s interesting. I’m bad at fcs, I don’t think I watch enough of tv and movies especially the newer series these many years, to know who I want. Maybe rufus sewell? But I don’t even watch his damn movies, can’t even tell if he’d have nice scenes.

The superhero guy doesn’t have a fc yet so I’m always open to suggestions.

ian mcshane and elizabeth banks - nice voice

ewan mcgregor - has been nice to consider. i actually wrote an npc and described him with his features. it would be amazing if anyone caught it

[musecraft]

🪐 —  @destage​​​​   sent   A MEME :

❔ 

● grace hanson   —   with  birdie,  who would definitely be one of frankie’s artist friends,  or with  kariana  who could be someone she knows in the business / finance world !

● wolfgang bogdanow  —   he can try to relieve  katiana  of some of her father’s wealth,  or i could bring  izzy  into a modern / organized crime verse to work either with or against him.

● amy march  —   she should meet  margaery  in her historical verse !  or maybe it would be fun to have her meet  stede  in his dandy era for a more comedic pairing.

● arwen  —  wizard  howl  is literally begging for a lotr au,  &  i think he would be very much interested in meeting her !

● eomer  —  i can’t really explain it, but i really think he should meet  nymeria.  i could put her in a lotr au, or you could drag eomer to asoiaf, either way would work well !

● marianne sheridan  —  i think marianne needs to meet  birdie,  as a treat.  &  i think she would also really like both  sarah  &  rae !  lady friends for marianne ?  i think yes. 

● wylla manderly  —  ok but ocean goddess wylla needs to meet ocean goddess  calypso,  just for fun.  also hook her up with  nymeria  somehow some way, please !

● ally liu —  i need ally to meet  rae  like, stat.  &  i don’t even have info up for this muse yet, but i think she would really love  ola  !  

● eddie young  —  i am very curious what eddie would make of both  giovanni  &  brian,  so it might be nice to toss him in with my band boys at some point ?

[dragonmuse]

You mention that Eddy and Stede met each other when they're both ready to make a leap. What would have happened if THEY'D met at a different point in time? Like, what if it had been Eddy that Stede and Mary had met in the Brat Pack timeline instead of Izzy and Faith? Do you think they'd still have gotten together and been happy together, or would it have been a case of right person wrong time?

(ok, so the honest answer is that I think Eddy wouldn’t even notice Stede if they met earlier and Stede would’ve been too afraid to talk to her. BUT. I have wanted to imagine them meeting earlier so much! in fact Stede talks about it several times and they have both fantasized about what that would be like in the canon of the verse, so fuck honesty, here is what I would hope them meeting as teens would be like. Please have this bulleted AU, you all know the drill by now. Let’s call this one...Hello Young Lovers) 

-Stede is home for the holidays. He’s almost done with boarding school and he has a college acceptance in hand. No one else is home. His father and stepmother are away and for the first time in years, he’s alone in a good way. At first he doesn’t plan to leave the house. He’ll just hang out, eat what he wants, watch what he wants and live without scrutiny. But after a few days, boredom sets in and also curiosity. With a pounding heart, he buys a train ticket and goes into the city all on his own with the idea that he might go see a show. 

-Eddy has no jobs lined up for the week. She’s brand new to Hornigold’s collection (still two years from any potential collision with Izzy) and the beard is only the first promise of stubble. There’s money burning in her pocket, but no one to spend it on. Mom is gone, recently enough that it's a bleeding wound. The guys are all fine, but the crowbar incident was too recent for anyone to relax around him. Maybe Jack, but he’s on a job. 

-Eddy spots a blond guy, probably about their age. He’s looking at a light display in the window, clearly enjoying the motorized holiday fair that they’ve got going on. He looks rich, nice clothes, big warm jacket. Old instincts make Eddy’s fingers itch, but they know better than to try it. Hornigold had been very explicit about what happened to idiots who got picked up for petty crimes. Still, they edge in close. Maybe if they were really subtle.

-Stede notices a trim person with dark facial hair and lovely dark eyes looking over the same display. 

“Isn’t it something?” He asked, delighted that someone else noticed. “Someone put a lot of work into this.” 

“Oh, yeah...it’s nice,” Eddy fumbled. “Like the...sparkly bits.” 

“Me too,” Stede sighs. “The detail is incredible. Look at that little couple dancing by the tree.” 

There was a small animatronic now that he pointed it out and Eddy leaned in to observe it. 

“Sorry to ask a silly question, but am I even within a mile of the theater district?” Stede asks, a little sheepishly. “I got distracted and now I’m really turned around.” 

-Eddy doesn’t give directions to tourists, but maybe if they help out this rich kid, they’ll want to say thanks. Eddy could think of a lot of ways Stede can thank her and all of them are appealing. 

-They walk and walk and Stede just...keeps talking and noticing things and Eddy doesn’t mean to be charmed or interested. Stede acts like they’re getting away with something just going for a simple walk. At one point, he ducks into a cafe and comes out with hot chocolate for the both of them. Eddy hasn’t had hot chocolate in ages and it’s better than she remembers. They exchanged names, ideas and jokes. Stede is impressed that Eddy already has a job, a profession even if he doesn’t seem to quite understand what it is. Eddy likes the way Stede talks. 

-Stede talks Eddy into coming to see the show with him. It’s a play and they get kicked out before intermission because they’re giggling at how stiff it all is. Then Stede offers dinner because he takes the blame for getting them kicked out. They eat huge bowls of pasta with meatballs the size of Eddy’s fist and both get enormous slices of cake.  

-Stede should go home, but Eddy cajoles him into coming back to their little apartment. She only has a bed, no couch yet or chairs, so they sit on the bed and drink the six pack of lukewarm beer Eddy had left on the counter by accident. Stede’s never had more than few sips of wine before and it goes to his head. He leans in closer and he doesn’t pull away when Eddy touches his hand or elbow to underline a point. 

“So that’s why I wound up failing math,” Stede shrugged. “But I think I won in the end.” 

“Yeah, mate, sure,” Eddy smiled at him. “Bet you win more than lose in the end.” 

“Not historically,” Stede sighed. “What about you?” 

“Oh I’m a winner,” Eddy said solemnly. “Stick with me and who knows where you’ll wind up?” 

“It sounds more fun than where I’m going,” Stede’s smile came back. His lips were very pink and his teeth were very white. Eddy wanted to make a mess of his hair. Of his clothes. Of whatever starch someone had tried to put in his soul. 

“You wanna make out?” Eddy blurted. 

“What?” Stede’s eyes went wide. “Oh no, I-” 

“Fuck, okay then,” Eddy laughed, ready to play it off as a joke. “I meant-” 

“Wait,” Stede took a deep breath, gave her a long probing look. He was clearly scared out of his mind, but that didn’t stop him from saying, “I’m probably not very good. I haven’t really done anything with anyone and I don’t think I-” 

Eddy didn’t wait for him to finish. He wasn’t any good really, but he had a lot of enthusiasm. He was appreciative of Eddy’s tattoos once their shirts were off and despite his nerves, he didn’t stop once as they plowed through making out straight into sex. 

-Stede curled up against Eddy’s side after, tentative, but soft as he stroked a hand down Eddy’s arm.  

-Eddy let’s him stay. Wants him to stay. Maybe asks him, so quietly that it seems impossible that Stede could’ve heard, but he does. They share Eddy’s blanket and despite the chill outside, they’re warm there together. 

-The morning should’ve been an end to it. But Stede didn’t know the rules apparently and Eddy wasn’t sure she cared. When he wrote his number down and asked for hers, she gave it to him. What did it matter? He’d never call. 

-He called that night. And the next. They talked for hours about nothing. Then Eddy got called to a job, no warning and they were gone for days, doing boring shit even. When they got home, their voicemail was full, messages from Stede that got shorter and shorter until a last ‘I’m going back to school in a few days. So...goodbye, I guess.” 

-Eddy has ways of finding people. She drives to the stupidly large house in the creepily all the same neighborhood. It takes her a second to work up the nerve to ring the doorbell.  

-Stede answers the door and when he sees her, he lights up like the animatronics he’d admired so much when they first met. He pulls them into the house, not bothering to ask them a thing and Eddy goes with him, giddy with relief. His bedroom isn’t Stede-like at all, just plain and sensible and neat. Only hints of him in the books piled into the bookcase and tiny wooden ship tucked in beside them. 

-”I just have the last semester,” he explained when they’d worn themselves out. Eddy sat naked in the middle of his enormous bed and Stede lay across it at her feet. “And then I’ll be free.” 

“Why not be free now?” She challenged. “Run off with me.” 

“Sounds nice,” he sighed. “But it’s not so simple.” 

“It should be.” 

It isn’t. Stede does have to go. They spend three days in the huge empty house and then a car comes for him. Eddy waits with him on the lawn for it. She has his address at school in her pocket and her hand on the small of his back. Stede doesn’t dare kiss her here, in the open of this suffocating neighborhood. But he does turn to her, and say without any hesitation, “I love you. Write me, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Eddy said roughly. “I will.” 

He doesn’t love her. If she thinks that’s true than she’ll go mad with it. And she won’t write him. This’ll die as it should’ve days ago. 

-She hadn’t reckoned on Stede writing her. Long letters, rambling and disconnected, but also full of things that he wants them to know. He draws stick figure illustrations in the margins and ends each letter with ‘Love, Stede’.  

-Eddy writes back because the letters are the most interesting thing she has. She writes back because if she doesn’t he’ll stop and then what? Her letters are far shorter, terse and lacking entirely in real information. That doesn’t stop Stede for thanking them for each one, for acknowledging what she said. 

-Summer brings him home, but he doesn’t do more than stop at his sterile house. He comes to her as soon as he can wiggle away and he brings with him the sun. All the light in Eddy’s world arrives at one time. Stede moves himself in and there are pretty curtains on her windows, extra blankets and pillows on her bed. Stede feathers their nest so quickly and completely that she can barely remember how it used to look within a few days. 

-”I’m going to school here.” He told her on the first night of his return. “Dad’ll probably cut me off, but I figured out how to funnel out some money into a personal account. Well. One of the other boy’s said how he did it and I copied them.” 

“You did what?” Eddy sat down hard. 

“I’m not under any illusion that I can make real money for some time, but I won’t be a burden on you,” Stede shrugged. “He won’t miss it, it’s from one of his less legal accounts. He doesn’t think I’m clever enough to steal. It will get me through school at least.” 

Eddy had never been so hot for someone in her entire short life. 

-Hornigold gets wind that Eddy’s got someone, but lots of the guys do and no one really asks. Stede doesn’t meet their work friends. Stede eeks out a few friends at college, including a very nice girl named Mary, who thinks Eddy is hysterical and has no issue treating everyone to fancy meals on her parent’s credit cards. 

-It should fall apart. Eddy expects it to. Work takes them away from Stede regularly. She comes back battered and bruised. He just kisses them. Tucks them into bed. Their dark moods sweep in and Stede offers them treats and leaves them alone if they ask for it. Stede doesn’t really understand the world, makes ridiculous mistakes and Eddy tries to be annoyed, furious even, but instead she just teaches him and he learns without complaint. 

-They tell him that they love him over breakfast because he gives them the rest of the bacon and that is the last drop that spills the water over the rim of the glass of their heart.

"I love you," they say with all the sincerity they can which granted, isn't much.

Stede cries. Which is ridiculous and horrible and then he pulls them into his lap and buries his face in their hair. Maybe Eddy cries too. No one can prove anything, with the way their face was turned.

-Stede finishes college in three years, studying like a demon and determined. He’s not really cut out for the life his father set out for him, and loving beautiful things is no way to make a living. Or so Eddy assumed, prepared to be the main breadwinner for the rest of whatever they were doing lasted. 

Instead, Stede worms his way into a fashion startup. He’s got bold ideas and while his business sense is questionable, it’s better than any of his colleagues. The ruthlessness that was always in him, sharpened with years of living with Eddy catapults him forward. He brings home good money. Then fucking great money. 

-They move. They get a good place with a view of the river. Eddy spends a lot of time looking out that window. Going to work fills her with dread. She wants to stay here in the velvet and silk world Stede has made for them. 

“Ok, then don’t,” Stede said unconcerned. “Do something else.” 

“Don’t know how to be anything else.” 

“Don’t say that, you’re wonderfully decorative,” he teased. “And you’re clever and quick. You could be whatever you wanted.” 

“I know I could,” she realized. “I can do whatever.” 

Which is too many choices. Too many things. She’s drinking with Izzy one night, fucking annoying asshole, but he’s less annoying than the rest of them. He’s clearly into her, but she’s never even thought to give him the time of day. But wisdom comes from strange sources. They've just put an end to a fucking awful job using a combination of shooting and some excellent, if slapdash, sleuthing.

“You know, we would make better detectives than the fucking cops.” 

Eddy stared at him. Izzy stared back. 

“Yeah. We really fucking would.” 

After some debate, she takes Izzy with her when she goes. He comes along like packed luggage and proves himself so useful that she never lives to regret it. Being away from Hornigold does them both a lot of good. Izzy stops acting like someone’s going to stab him the neck if he says please and thank you so that’s nice. Stede is so grateful that Eddy’s happier that he starts a one-man friendship assault on the poor weirdo. 

“Make him stop,” Izzy begged, but Eddy just laughed. Eventually, Stede’s persistence won out, as it often did, and Izzy would instead call Stede to ask him to make Eddy stop whatever annoying bullshit she was on that week. It didn't work, but the complaining seemed to help him.

-She came out ten years earlier. It’s easy to figure out who she is when she’s drowning in Stede’s creations and boundless affection. It's easy as breathing and hard as hell, but they come out the other side lighter.

-Stede proposes in front of the store where they first met. It’s even snowing a little, like the weather itself got its shit together for it. 

-Their wedding is small, but lovely. Just a few friends. Eddy won’t wear white, so Stede does, pleased to put her in a black wedding dress. Mary designs their invitations. Izzy organizes the reception like it’s a military operation.  

-They do great things. They have world enough and time.

[enternecers]

❔ !

i tried not to go with canon stuff, though i really wanna write all the canon stuff but here we go:

klara st james for adam ruzek: in her original verse, klara is my oc who is a spy and does a lot of undercover work, but i could change it up so she is a police officer instead. i just really love adam and i am obsessed with him on pd but i am still on s2 so i figured a possible au would work best (?) i don’t know, maybe they were in the academy together or something!

isabelle lightwood for any of your apocalypse based ocs: i have always loved having izzy interact with werewolves because of the whole shadowhunters dynamic but i think it would be really nice to throw her in an apocalypse setting (she is a badass fighter and good with other stuff too) and i make it my mission to love on people’s ocs so!!

sersi for michael guerin: is this a rather odd duo? yes. do i still think they could be very interesting? also yes. i just like the idea of sersi meeting other people who are not from earth and michael is so different from anyone she knows and i just think it would be interesting.

nancy wheeler for scott mccall: my basic idea is: au where stranger things is set in the modern world and when hawkins has the earthquake, the mccall pack ends up going there to help people (this is very vague but it is what i thought up!) and nancy and scott meet. honestly could be any of my st kids but i think nancy and scott would be interesting because of their common grief (nancy lost barb, scott lost ally). 

send me a ❔ to know which muses i’d like to throw at you / accepting.

[izzyeffinhands]

Muse and Rules Post!

Hi, I’m Tori, or Castor, as I answer to both, and I’m non-binary/transmasc and my pronouns atm are he/him and they/them. I’m neurodivergent, so I don’t mean to come off annoying, but it happens.

This blog is a RP blog for Izzy Hands from Our Flag Means Death. I’m semi-selective, and it’s an indie blog. This is an independent blog, I welcome all the characters and writers I can muster. I am no way related to the show in any means, this is the interpretation of the character. I am not associated with the actor of Izzy Hands either, though Con is an amazing man.

This blog is 21+. Mun is nearing 40! It will be featuring some very dark themes and have NSFW. Mun will not be writing any sort of NSFW material for those who are not of appropriate age. This is about piracy despite the rom-com aspect, and my interpreted background of Izzy holds some dark themes. That’s not to say I don’t love to indulge in the silliness of a rom-com.

I reserve the right to drop threads. It just happens sometimes, I think all of us writers go through it. I love asks, but I’ll respond to the ones I can and really feel. Also, I’m not a stickler about replies and I’ll never harass you for one so please don’t do that to me! However mun is very nice and ND, and likes to check in on his lovely writing partners. Sometimes this has been misconstrued. Really, I’m a friendly person. ^^<3 I like getting to know those I write with.

I am not a stickler about post length but I write semi-para, multi-para myself. Sometimes I’ll answer asks with an icon and a few lines. I like to play Izzy at all ages and have lots of headcanons I will be sharing with the hashtag. If you’re interested in shipping or plotting, feel free to message me! I like shipping chemistry. But I love writing angst, pain, sadness, all sorts of things. Not everything has to be ships, I love platonic stuff too.

This blog is NSFW, plenty of violence and plenty to be imagined. Really sexy things go under a cut. Everything else is in the open; violence, manipulation, torture, blood, pain. If you are triggered by something specific please let me know so I can avoid it.

My character can be quite mean at times and say cruel things but that is the character I’m portraying and not myself. Please try to remember that. Mun is a nice person that likes a grumpy gremlin!

Favorite ships: blackhands, steddyhands, gentlehands/stizzy, ouizzy, spriggshands. .. okay so it’s hard not to ship him with EVERY CREW. However I ship chemistry and not all writing has to be shipping! Just giving ya my likes. Friends and angst always loved. Crew members are always loved and wanted!!

I adore Stizzy, I’ll accept any Stizzy, but my main Stede is portrayed by @avastyetwats . This is an independent blog, and I accept and love any Stede that wishes to write, but avast mun and I have created something beautiful and exceptional. It’s definitely my favorite threads, when you get a great writing partner you vibe with it’s addicting.

Please do not reblog my role-play posts unless you are responding to them. I blog plenty of things and lots of art that is OFMD based. Feel free to enjoy those things and reblog. OCs and crossovers are most welcome.

Just a note, if I’m kind enough to share a promo of your blog, be kind enough to share mine.

And with that me hearties! Flood my inbox! Sounds a bit dirty, doesn’t it? :x I’ll post plenty of sentence starters and a variety of prompts so don’t be shy. Feel free to message me if you have an interest or would like to plot! But I am fine with turning memes sent to me and sent away into threads! Also note, my main blog is @bxnnxrxd , so if you follow me, I’ll end up following back from that most likely!

I do have a nice little vampire AU verse for pirate Israel for those who are interested as well as a western verse and many variations of modern verses. No, I’m not making a Carrd.

You can find my Black Sails multimuse at @fornassau

[straykats]

kat talks: the world ep.1: movement

guerrilla has me lacking words and oxygen and im too scared to listen to the rest of the album

propaganda

this reminds me of laser tag or smth akin to alien invasion games

this with earphones >>>

okay thats kinda all i gotta say

sector 1

OH WHY DOES THIS SOUND SO FAMILIAR is it bc of a teaser or what

edit: after my self-doubt being cured through reading other people's posts, i would like to say yes i did think it might have been the outro thingy from answer but i couldn't remember correctly so i was like hm more likely a teaser BUT I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED ugh ofc atz

oh my god izzy if u see this u were right this slaps and im only ,ike 5lines in

THE CONTRAST BETWEEN VERSE AND CHORUS

hongjoongs laugh <3

its a very 'wake up world' kind of song??? like. nice calm oncoming event kinda vibes. lengthening shadows as the sun rises, but timelapsed

i love the synth moving parralell with the melody? theres a term for it but i forgot VNJKSVFS

the bridge buildup is snazzy

i feel like that was a really calm intense song???? like if this was a war or smth this is the preparation and sharpening of weapons and stuff

cyberpunk

oh this one is intense intense

THE BASS hehehehehehhee its so central and then the claps are further to each side and it sounds very nice

OOO i love how the bass/percussive synth sounds just disappear at mingi's 'fix on'

the change in texture is really nice!!

NFJVKFSNVKJFSKVFNJVFNKVS WAIT WAI SNJKVSF

CHROMATIC DESCENT CHROMATIC DESCENGRJKBDFKNB

i'm getting the circus/clown theme in my head now.

funnky lil mashup potentially???

okay i really like this song and not just bc of the chrom descent

the percussive synth thingy ARGHHHH loml in this song

OHHHHHHH THE SOLO CHROM DESCENT WITH NO BACKING INSTR VFNSJKVNFSFJKVNSKJVNSK

THE BEAT-LATE STARTNJKGVSNJVNSJKVSNVKSNJVKSNVKDSV

AHHHHHHHH ANOTHER DELAYED STARTTTT

the descending vocals w the higher adlib thingies >>..

guerrilla

okay seatbelts on im gonna go crazy

this is mv commetary too!!

THE BASS heheheheheheh

the beat silence HHBD

AHHAHAHAHA HONGJOONG'S SIDE JUMP

god the lazy rap (?) >>

the drawling kinda "oHHHHhhh" synth after the yell

yunho and yeosang stop stop stopsotpsots

seonghwa beloved

are thsoe strings in the prechor??

whether or not it is i think an prchestral arrangment would be sexy af

the synth in the chorus tooo AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THE KEY CHANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THE GUITFGHDBSHVKDBSKVDS

haha very sane of me

upside down mingi good mingi

nah the directing for this mv is insane imo

the vocals during the upside down mingi bit that repeats his lines and then sings with >>>

the yunho/san part SNHFFDNDSKDSJNDSKDSSDV

seonghwa beloved pt2

key change again!!!! i think

cant wait to fiddle around to figure this out

THE ROCK BRIDGE SJUT UP I DIDNT APPRECIATE THIS IN MY FIRST LISTEN

drums and bass my most BELOVED i think an electric violin would be super sexy in the bridge

the final chorus LOVE LOVELOVEEEEEEEEEEE

god i cant even articulate properly rn this song literally starts on a high and then gets better and better and better

the ring

the way the smile just slowly grew on my face is almost theatrical imo

i love the silences !!

0:55-2:05 is so scrumptious harmonically but i cant yet figure out why

the way each section sounds different is so cool to me

one ring to rule them all??? i knew i should have made a lotr joke at the beginning

also ive been fiddling around w an online keyboard as i listen along to this song which is why theres so few comments JNDFKSNVSK

oh wait. the organ???? sounds like an organ???

wdig (where do i go)

THE LAUGH

damn ngl thought this was gonna be a ballad-y slower song

@ 0:26 the chord goes. goes funky. i am once again harmonically intrigued (minor 3rd??? )

@ 0:48 @ 0:55 i am once again intrigued

wait is the chor a key chabge??? do i just sinply think everything is a keychange????

loving the tempo changeups as well!! or is it the same tempo.

new world

NICE

rhythm game vibes

OHHH YEAH THIS IS NICEEEEE same

do u think hognjoong records a new laugh in all the songs or does he use the same audio file

i am once again having harmonic feelings

can reacttothek react to this album pls

why does the chorus/hook remind me of one ok rock

2:34-2:39 is sure funking snazzy i love it

another prepare for war song i love it

this whole album gives 'prepare for war' kinda vibes i love it

[grapecaseschoices]

Hey :) what OC are you working on right now? What inspired them?

Oh, hello! This was so nice to see in my inbox. Hope you're doing well! :-D

What aren't I working on? Let's do something old and something new, because my brain is actually active of late.

1- Something Old

Kendis: I'm currently working on them re: a multiverse storyline that's been recurring in the RP I have her in, and there's a current event up.

What Inspired Kendis?: I honestly don't remember what inspires half my characters 1234ew. I DO recall, wanting - as most desires usually strike me - to make a sibling for my friend's character, Ben. And I definitely wanted that teenaged energy (og Kendis - as Kendis, and not my first incarnation of Ben's baby sister - was 18). A lot of what influenced Kendis was wanting to catch that 'drunk girl you meet in the bathroom and becomes your strongest advocate' energy.

I like to sometimes dip into canons I know, so I'd say some of Cordelia Chase influenced Kendis (in the blunt aspect, in the seemingly shallow/egotistical, in the 'wtf is the supernatural ... well, fuck I guess I'm going to help you fight after all, ugh', in the being a lot smarter than you might think, in the unexpected vulnerability), especially Cordelia vis a vis Buffy in Buffy's vulnerable moments (never over Cordy, for all that wish-verse existed, being the one continously to have Buffy's back when shit was rotten).

Buffy herself is a factor, especially for Kendis as I play them now. And Caroline Forbes. (All these white women qwerwawq lmao) But Cordy was the OG.

2 - Something New (RP Style)

Ori Zhou: I mostly finished his app. But I haven't played him yet. I've dipped him a little bit into the RP canon, woven his past life and abilities into the plot I am working on for Kendis, but I haven't written him written him yet. But he counts, because I'm going to send his app soon ... and because I love him so much already.

What Inspired Ori?: So many things. This is easier because I started his app like two weeks ago. So, okay. OG Autumn Grove had a group of teens to mid-twenties called GAS (Gender Agnostic Sisterhood) and AG 2.0 doesn't have many YouthsTM, so I was like OG GAS characters have either grown or moved away, but I miss them. So, let me try my hand at another youth (because I TOTALLY need more characters that I don't play because Kendis has been loud and obnoxious lately).

My friends wanted someone with a magical girl past life. And I really wanted to create a storyteller sort (think Henry from OUAT, think Scheherazade), so I'm going to work on smashing that. I'm really proud of his powers tho. I'm also trying to challenge myself to play a himbo. I haven't before, so in his current life, my baby is a himbo with self-worth issues. A lot of his vibes is inspired by the quote 'how am i going to be an optimist about this' and the song '100 Bad Days' by AJR. So many little things went into this beeb, but Ima stop here. His pb/fc is Chella Man because Chella is deathly too cute (and I need more trans mascs in my roster. Like wtf Nat. MOAR!!!!)

3 - Something New (IF Style)

Isidor "Izzy" Sero: I can't say I'm working on Iz so much rotating him (and my other Wayfarer MC) in my head like a pig on a spit and very, very occasionally poking him with a stick. Izzy is present in the background in my mind but he's not active. Still, he's here because my Wayfarer MCs, like my Speaker and Bloomic OCs, are OCs that I definitely want to do more with and be current on but I don't have that strong a spark on yet. So I work on them passively.

What Inspired Isidor?: MOSTLY my desire for a Sero kid but also him coming out to be the 'opposite of Peitho' (my other Wayfarer MC). Basically, sometimes when I play an IF and I have a vague desire for another MC, a concept will solidify from the Choices Not Chosen. And that is how Izzy came about. A lot of 'what if I had chosen this instead' created more of a tortoise than a hare type of character. He's very slow going to start, but when he starts he goes. I also like to play gender roles with certain IFs -- particularly with fantasy/supernatural sorts. So, though he's very strength based, he's - as mentioned - not the first to jump into the fray with fits flying. Though he may seem the quiet, "stoic" sort, when he does speak he's spoken directly to -- yet he is also highly fucking sentimental. And though that governs so much of his credo, bein a Sero kid he apprecites adaptiblity and resourcefulness. (Actually that's one of the things I like about Wayfarer, so much of the in game lore and character backgrounds help inspire and shape your OCs as you go along. So, where I'd be a little more set with an OC in another IF, here there's a lot more wiggle room).

Thank you for the ask @worldstogetlostin! Sorry for the tl;dr but you've given me stuff to ponder :-D

[comfy-whumpee]

Trust: Kieran and Izzy

Future DadJax fic ft @ashintheairlikesnow’s Izzy Fucking Gallagher (legal middle name pending deed poll). CW: referenced child abuse.

@iaminamoodymoodtoday, @wildfaewhump, @ishouldblogmore, @lektric-whump, @that-one-thespian, @raigash, @burtlederp, @rosesareviolentlyread, @eatyourdamnpears

He stands in the doorway, draped in a cardigan, with one hand dangling a tote bag of supplies. His voice is soft and fond. “You look like shit.”

“Feel like it too,” Jax says, letting go of the door handle to slump back against the hallway wall. His voice is stuffy and his face pale, with high red spots on his cheeks. “You gotta help me, Kie. She’s asking how much money she needs for flu meds.”

“Go back to bed.” Kieran smiles at the face poking out from the doorway at the far end of the hall, which stares for a moment longer, then disappears. “I’ll take it from here.”

Jax stumbles off while Kieran removes his shoes. He hears a soft, little-girl voice say, “Daddy, your bath.”

Jax half-laughs in reply, and that quickly turns into a coughing fit. When it stops, he croaks, “Thank you for the bath, kiddo, but I’m going back to bed.”

Perhaps the little girl would have replied, but the sound of eager little footsteps interrupts the conversation and moments later a toddler comes running into view with fuzzy brown hair in his dad’s shade, chubby cheeks, and mismatched dinosaur-and-penguin pyjamas that Kieran knows are there because she fuckin dressed him and got his breakfast and everything while I was still asleep.

Kieran drops the bag and to his knees to hold out two hands for a high ten, which makes the toddler’s face light up. He slaps Kieran’s hands with better enthusiasm than aim. “Hey!” Kieran greets him, and looks up to see the little girl watching again. “You guys must be Izzy and Jamie.”

“Me!” the toddler agrees vocally, “I’m Jamie, that’s me! An’ that’s Izzy-bella who is my sister.” He turns, leaning against Kieran’s knee to point up the hall.

Izzy is staring at her little brother with something like betrayal, but it vanishes when she sees Kieran looking, and her face folds into a mask of perfect solemnity. “I’m Izzy, yes. You’re dad’s friend.” She blinks. Her eyes are big and very brown. “Are you here for dinner?”

Kieran laughs internally. Dad’s friend. Has Jax been reticent to name their relationship to her, or does she prefer to deny it? “I am. Dad called me and said he was sick, so I’m here to help.”

There’s a longer pause from Izzy, who steps to the side to let Jamie run off again without comment. She thinks, and then she says, “I’m good at helping.”

“So I hear,” Kieran agrees easily. “Can you help me? I need to find some things in the kitchen and I don’t even know where the kitchen is.”

Again, Izzy watches him for a long moment, contemplative in a way very few children are. Kieran has met children like this before at work. He’s well-versed in children who learned to be careful in everything they do, because they know too well that the world is unsafe, and their wrong moves can lead to terrible things. He waits patiently.

Izzy nods after a moment and turns to lead the way. Kieran follows her with bag in hand. “I like your hair,” he tells her as they enter Alfie’s little kitchenette.

The little girl doesn’t reply. She climbs onto a step-stool that is clearly meant to be in the bathroom and gets a mug down from a cupboard she shouldn’t be able to reach. Very carefully, carrying it in both hands, she takes it to the kettle and puts a single teabag inside with the gravitas of a ceremony.

Kieran remembers Jax’s messages. She made me a cup of tea and I think she’s going to try for sandwiches next.

“Is that for your dad?” he asks her, while looking through the cupboards for pans.

“Yes,” Izzy says, picking up the kettle with both hands around the handle and conveying it to the sink. She puts it down on the draining rack and goes back for her stool. “Tea helps Dad when he is sick.”

“It does,” Kieran agrees, setting two large pans on the side. “I actually bought some special tea that will help him even more.” He picks up the tote bag and roots through it until he gets out a packet of lemon flu remedy. “Can we make this instead?”

Izzy sets down her stool and turns to look. Kieran watches her size up the packet, her mouth moving slightly as she sounds out L-E-M…

He brings it closer and points to a smaller word on the green label. “Flu, see?”

Fuh-ull-uh, Izzy mouths to herself, and then, fuh-ull-oo. Flu.

Her gaze returns to him, and there is a little hope in her eyes. “It won’t hurt him?”

Kieran shakes his head. His calm, professional smile doesn’t waver. He knows how to be safe to little children who know too well how dangerous adults can be. “It might taste funny, but it will help him. Not hurt him.”

He wants to promise, I will never do anything to hurt your Daddy or you or Jamie, never ever, cross my heart and hope to die, you have had far too many hurts already and I want to make sure they never happen again.

But he is a social worker, and he knows never to make promises. Something tells him that she won’t believe them. Like Jax, she doesn’t believe in words, or even in actions. She needs time, and she needs to see his good intentions.

Izzy considers the sachet again, the picture of the person with a red nose, and the picture of the steaming mug.

She looks back at him, and her eyes are very much like her father’s, hazel-brown and watchful, and carrying too many painful memories.

“Okay,” she says, and takes the packet from his hand. “I will make this tea for Daddy.”

Kieran watches her, but she really does seem to know what she’s doing, with the kettle held carefully until it can be put on its stand to boil, and placing the teabag back into the pot to replace it with the powder.

“And I will make us all a nice dinner,” he tells her, and she doesn’t reply, but something in her shoulders relaxes.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[pagingevilspawn]

Can you write something in the timeline for season six in which Alex leaves Izzie and leaves Seatle for Jo. After a few years, Jo ends up in the hospital having a baby, and they go to the emergency room where Izzie, Meredith and the others are, and while she's nervous she talks about her husband leaving her for a wife with cancer and so on, and then Alex shows up.

moving on, letting go

PLEASE DON’T SKIP THIS!

I was intrigued by this prompt, but I had to change some things up. This seemed like another affair thing, so I wanted to change that. I don’t like affairs, (I’m serious. I don’t). Here’s some things you gotta know! 

1) Alex and Izzie got a divorce. he didn’t leave her while she had cancer. I'm going with what’s exactly canon in season 6. Alex didn’t leave izzie and seattle for jo, he left on his own account and met jo later on. 2) after leaving seattle, izzie returned to grey-sloan for her fellowship. (it’s before she would’ve had the twins in canon-verse). 3) There’s less of an age gap between them than there is in canon. 

also, i don’t know how to write izzie. so if she’s OOC, that’s why. it’s actually izzie-centric though, because i couldn’t see this going any other way. the ending is also a bit rushed, because i really jut wanted to post something.  

three years after alex leaves seattle, he finds himself back there, with his ex-wife as the one to deliver him and jo’s child. 

“Incoming trauma! Thirty year old female who was rear ended on the 95. No damage was done except for the fact that she was in active labor. They’re bringing her here now. Page L&D, and get a room ready!” Doctor Miranda Bailey shouts, her booming voice heard by everyone in the ER. Interns scuttle around, trying to fulfill their bosses wishes at her beck and call. She may not be the chief, but she sure seemed like she was. She had the ability to command anyone in the room, and never took no for an answer. Taking over the ER that day wasn’t something that she had planned, but both Hunt and Kepner had come down with something nasty and she was the only surgeon available. 

It was only a few minutes later when the gurney comes rolling in, carrying a pretty brunette who was wincing through her contractions, gripping the handle bars so tightly her knuckles were turning white. 

Izzie Stevens rushes over to her, as for she was the on-call OB, following the gurney into a room. She snaps on a pair of gloves, brushing a stray piece of blonde hair out of her eyes. “Hi there, I’m Doctor Stevens. I’m gonna lift up your shirt so we can make sure your baby isn’t in distress. Is that okay…” she trails off, pulling the ultrasound closer to the gurney and grabs the jelly, shaking it as both a way to prepare it and stall some time while she waited for a response. 

“Doctor Wilson,” the girl in the bed answers, nose scrunching up as she feels another swift kick to the ribs. “Sorry—” she stutters a laugh, “Habit.” she answers “Jo. Jo Wilson. But I am a doctor, so no need to give me all the watered down crap.” 

Izzie gives the woman a sincere smile, appreciating the upfrontness. “Good to know Doctor Wilson.” She lifts up the woman’s shirt, squirting on the ultrasound jelly, smearing it around until the woman's stomach is properly covered. She moves the wand around until the heartbeat thumps through the monitor. “Steady and strong. You’re very lucky Doctor Wilson. I’m gonna send you up to L&D now, but I’ll be sure to be there to monitor you.” she adds some notes into her tablet before turning back to Jo. “Is there anyone you would like to call? Are you waiting on the father or are you doing this independently?” she asks, peeling off her gloves and dumping them in the bin. 

Jo shakes her head, loose curls flying back and forth. “No my—” she’s cut off by another contraction, and she lets out a large, staggering breath as she clenches her eyes shut, waiting for it to pass, and it does twenty-three seconds later. “My boyfriend is on his way.”

Izzie nods, “Well, we’ll get you set up and I’ll be up in a few minutes so I can check your cervix Doctor Wilson.” she says, getting closer to the door, ready to assess another pregnant mother. 

“Thank you. And please, if you're going to be looking up my vagina, you can call me Jo.” she grins, her voice taking a teasing undertone.  

The blonde gives a small chuckle, her ponytail shaking as she moves her head back and forth. “Will do Jo.”

She turns out of the room and uses the stairs to take her to the L&D floor, where the sound of expecting mothers in labor couldn’t be missed. She checks on a few patients, seeing how far they had advanced while she had momentarily stepped away. Not too long after she enters a new room, where Jo was glaring at a spot in an empty corner, trying to get through yet another contraction. 

When Jo sees the woman enter, she lets out a low laugh. “I swear, if he doesn’t get here soon I am going to murder him with my bare hands.” she says, only half serious. 

The blonde laughs, shaking her head fondly. “Is he close?” she asks, putting on yet another pair of gloves, this time pink. 

“Thankfully,” she sighs. “This baby wasn’t supposed to come for another two weeks. My boyfriend has a conference here at UDub, and he told me so many times that I can’t go but of course I fought him on it, because I can’t sleep if he’s not next to me and neither can the baby. I realized about five hours in that I made a stupid mistake, because I had to pee every thirty minutes, and I was sure my boyfriend wanted to toss me out of the car. He didn’t though, because he loves me way too much. Thank god. So he cancelled his flight and quite literally drove across the country with me so that I can sleep at night, and now I’m going into labor two weeks early, while he’s at a lecture.” Jo rambles, not letting out a single breath until she was done. 

Her eyes widen, an embarrassed flush creeping up onto her cheeks as she avoids eye contact, biting her bottom lip between her teeth. “Sorry,” she apologies. “I tend to go into long speeches when I’m nervous.”

Izzie just smiles, giving the woman a reassuring pat on the leg. “It’s okay, I would say labor is a good time to be nervous. Is it okay that I lift up your gown?”

Jo nods, “Yes, sorry. Let’s see how close this baby is to coming out of a very tiny hole.” she chuckles, trying to lessen her nerves to the best of her ability. She really was terrified. Her pregnancy had not been planned what-so-ever. It hadn’t been easy, between all-day sickness and the occasional spotting, she had been in constant fear. But besides all of that, she had to come clean to Alex about everything, her abusive husband, her abortion, her name-change… It was something that she had worried about immensely, the fear of him leaving and wanting nothing to do with her once he found out about her past keeping her up some nights. She still had the occasional dream that she would wake up to an empty bed with only a note left on the pillow, ‘I can’t do this’. Alex helped her through it though, and when she spilled her past to him all he did was envelope her in his arms while she cried, placing kisses in her hair as she wet his shirt with her tears. 

I’m not going anywhere Jo, he told her, and after nine long months, she knew that he was sticking to his word. She just really wished he was here right now, because contractions hurt like a son of a bitch. 

“So,” the blonde snaps her out of her thoughts, “You’re a doctor. Where?” Jo knew she was trying to distract her from the pain, and for that she was more than thankful. 

“Johns Hopkins. I’m a surgical resident and my boyfriend is a pediatric fellow.” 

The woman at her feet looks impressed, giving her a small smile as she checks Jo’s cervix. “When you said you were a doctor I was kind of expecting it to be from some kind of hospital I’d never heard of, no offense.”

Jo laughs, “None taken.” She was used to it by now. On multiple occasions when she was asked where she worked she was met by a bit of silent surprise. Even if you weren’t in the world of medicine, you knew Johns Hopkins. 

Izzie flips the gown back down, “You’re about four centimeters dilated, if you want an epidural now would be your last chance.”

The brunette shakes her head. “No thanks. I’m gonna push this baby’s giant head out drug-free and regret it later on.” she brushes back a stand of hair, “That wasn’t sarcastic. Well,” she scrunches up her face, “It kinda was. But no, no epidural.” she settles on, just as another contractions comes through. She hisses through her teeth, and both of them waiting until it was over. 

The woman chuckles, “I’m seriously gonna kill him if he’s not here within the next thirty seconds.”

As if to prove her point, Jo grabs her phone from the bag next to her bed, scrolling through it until she reaches Alex’s contact. Harshly slamming on the call button, she brings the phone to her ear, not needing to wait long until the familiar voice reaches her ears. 

“Hello?”

“Where the hell are you?!” she hisses into the phone, clutching it closer to her ear as if it would make her words even louder and bring him to her quicker. 

“I’m about twenty minutes away. There’s some really bad traffic and I'm backed up pretty badly. Taking the side streets isn’t an option either. Just remember to breathe, and I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay,” Jo sighs, rolling her chapped lips together. Him telling her to breathe in all honesty wanted to make her slap him, but she resisted solely because of the fact that he wasn’t there yet. “I love you.” 

“Love you too, —oh wait, you do know you’re where I used to work right?” Alex asks her through the phone, and she can practically hear the smile in his voice. 

“What? I thought you worked at Seattle Grace?” 

“I did. Turns out they changed the name. Grey-Sloan Memorial. Guess I know who died.”

She tries to muffle a laugh, but it still comes out in a huff. “Be nice!” Typical of him really, no respect what-so-ever for people, even the dead. He already knew about the passings of his fellow co-workers though, so it wasn’t like he wasn't affected by their deaths. He was still in touch with Meredith Grey, as he told her, texting and skyping on birthdays and holidays, and any free time they had in between. Plus, she’d met the woman multiple times via video calls.   

“Alright, I’ll be there soon, bye.” 

“Bye.” she pushes the end call button and flops against the bed as gently as she can, because it seems to be as though every small movement sent a pain through her body. 

“He almost here?” the blonde questions, lingering in the doorway of the room, waiting to see if she should stay put or check on some other laboring moms. 

Jo nods, “He should be here in about twenty minutes.” she sighs. “Fair warning, he’s a peds surgeon, so he’s gonna come in here all high and mighty, acting like an asshole because he doesn’t think anybody can take care of his own baby better than him. But,” she lets a small smile escape. “Just because he acts like an asshole doesn’t mean he is one. You know the type?”

Izzie just laughs, “Oh, believe me, I know the type.”  

____

Twenty-five minutes later Izzie is checking Jo’s cervix once more, pulling down her gown once she was done. “You’ve moved up to five centimeters Jo, congrats.” she gives the woman a smile, about to stand up when a man comes through the door. 

“Jo, I’m so, so sorry it took so long,” he rounds to the side of the bed, pulling the woman into a side hug and kissing the top of her head. 

Izzie froze at the voice, a voice she knew all too well. A voice she hadn’t heard in over three years. The voice of her ex-husband. The voice of the one and only Alex Karev.   

“I tried but all of these assholes wouldn’t let me in no matter how many times I blasted the damn horn. Hi, I’m Doc—” his eyes widen comically when he finally turns to face the blonde, hand stuck out straight in front of him. 

His mouth hung open, finally clearing his throat after a few seconds of straight silence. “Hi, Izzie,” he settles on, giving a tight lipped smile and a subtle nod of his head. 

Jo looks between the two, eyes scrunched until an expression of frustration crosses over her face. “Alex freaking Karev,” she all but seethes. 

“Please, please tell me that your ex-wife isn’t the woman who is going to be delivering our baby!” she practically screeches, digging her sharp nails into his hand as she goes through another contraction. 

Izzie perks up immediately, “I’m so sorry Doctor Wilson. If you think that this is too weird or a conflict of interest I can gladly recommend another doc—”

Jo immediately shakes her head. “Nope. No, no, no, no, no. I like you, Doctor Stevens, and you’ve already seen up my vagina and I would prefer there not be another person who needs to look up there.” she wipes a bead of sweat off her forehead. “So as long as you two can be professional divorcees, I would greatly appreciate it for the sake of this baby.” she grins sarcastically at the two of them. 

She knew it really wasn’t the greatest idea to have her boyfriend’s ex-wife deliver her baby, she knew. But Doctor Stevens was nice, and switching her OB no would just add to the stress that was currently accumulating through her body. If one more thing were to go wrong, she wouldn’t trust herself not to throw something at a wall. 

Izzie nods, biting her bottom lip. “Of course. It’ll be no problem Dr. Wilson. I’ll be back in thirty minutes.” With that she turns out of the room, stopping when she was out of sight to bang her head against the wall. 

“Oh god.” she mumbles to herself, letting her head stay in its position for a little while longer.

It was going to be a really long day.  

____

She drops her tray onto the cafeteria table with a loud sigh, burying her head in her heads for the umpteenth time that afternoon, letting out a long groan as she does so. Meredith and Cristina exchange suspicious looks until the blonde eventually shakes the other woman. “You good?” she asks hesitantly, still unsure of how to act around her old friend. 

Izzie had transferred back to Seattle Grace (now Grey-Sloan) just over four months ago to pursue her OB GYN fellowship. They had all changed a bit since the early years of their residency, so most of the time Meredith was overly cautious of how to act. They weren’t the same person they were three years ago. New traumas, relationships, losses… knowing the person they knew then wasn’t the same as knowing the person they did now. 

Of course, they still got along well. Izzie had surprisingly made quick friendships with Jackson and April, since all rivalries were now in the past. But knowing how to talk to someone you didn’t know all too well with emotions you haven’t seen on them in years was difficult and something she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. 

“Alex is here,” she lifts her head up from the table, only to be met with one wide-eyed stare, and another confused. 

“Yeah,” Meredith pipes in, taking a bite of her fries. “He’s in Seattle, giving a lecture at UDub. How do you know that?” she asks suspiciously. 

“Wait, how do you know that?” the blonde asks, furrowing her brows.

Meredith shrugs, “We talk. Skype. We actually have plans to meet up tomorrow as long as I don’t get called in. Why do you know that Alex is here?” she prompts again. Last time she checked, Alex wasn’t in contact with his ex-wife. 

“He’s here,” she emphasizes, throwing her hands up in the air. 

Cristina smirks, “Stevens, we know he’s in Seattle, but if you’re going around stalking your ex-husband then—”

“No! He’s here here. He’s in the hospital,” she huffs. 

Both of the women’s eyes widened, “What happened?” Meredith asks, getting up from her seat, fries already forgotten, while Cristina looks concerned.  “Is he okay? Why—”

“No, no he’s fine.” she shakes her head, the gravity of the situation suddenly hitting her full force. “He’s here, with his pregnant girlfriend, who’s in labor.” she states slowly, snatching a fry from her friend’s plate and shoving it into her mouth. 

“Jo’s having the baby?!” “Evilspawn knocked someone up?!”

Both women exclaim at the same time, Izzie looking at the two with skeptical eyes. “Wait, Mer you knew?” 

The blonde only scoffs, “Of course I knew,” she quickly runs over to the nearest trash can and dumps her tray in, jogging back over immediately after, a tiny bit of ketchup left on her thumb from her fries. 

“Mer you never told me anything,” Cristina hisses once she returns, sending her a sharp glare. Her and Alex weren’t really in contact with each other anymore, but whenever she would barge in on a call or Skype session between the two she would join in the conversation easily.

Meredith rolls her eyes, “I forgot,” she states. “But that’s not the point. Izzie, what room are they in?” she asks, eyes wide and frantic. 

Izzie only looks stunned. Meredith knew that Alex was seeing someone, more-so, having a kid —and didn’t tell her? It’s not like her ex frequently came up in conversation, but knowing that he was so… far ahead in life was worth mentioning, right?

“What’s that face? I don’t like that face.” she says quickly, noticing the look of disappointment flash across the lighter blonde’s features. 

She sighs, composing herself quickly. “Nothing. It’s fine,” she brushes it off, holding eye contact in hopes that it will disarm them. Meredith only raises an eyebrow, and she knows she has to let them know. 

“I was thinking about using the embryos,” she says quietly, gauging their reactions. It was the truth. She was at a good place in her career, making a healthy living… she was prepared to take the next step. She’d wanted kids for as long as she could remember, and she felt like now was as good a time as any to move forward. 

The blonde only bites her lip, while Cristina takes a sip of her empty drink, practically slurping on ice. “Were you planning on getting back together with him, Stevens? Because that seems like a long shot,” she deadpans, raising her brows. 

“God no. I wasn't planning on getting back together with him, I—” she huffs, burying her face in her hands once more. “I wasn’t even planning on telling him.” she sighs dejectedly, averting her eyes away from the two.

“Well that would’ve never worked,” Meredith tells her, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. “I would’ve called Alex you know.”

“I didn’t know you were still in contact with my ex-husband Mer!” she explains. 

The darker blonde only chuckles, “Yeah, I would’ve told him if you were planning on it Iz,” half scolding, half disbelief. 

“I get that now.”

Meredith sighs, perking up when she remembers why they were having their conversation in the first place. “Which room is Jo in?” she steers the conversation away, knowing that this was a topic for another time and another place.  

“119,” she says. “Give me one second to throw my stuff away, I need to do another dilation check.” 

The other woman scrunches her brows, “You’re still her doctor?” she asks. If Addison were to suddenly become her OB because of unexpected labor, she wasn’t sure how she would react. Then again, she’d actually met Addison and knew that she was the best of the best, while Jo had never met the blonde before today. She was just known as ‘Alex’s ex-wife’. She wasn’t sure if she would be so easygoing about the situation, but she had gotten to know Jo in the three years she’d been with Alex, and she had quickly learned that when the brunette was thrown curveballs, she found a way to work around them. 

“Yeah, she said she didn’t want to change doctors since she already trusted me,” Izzie answers, mentally brushing off her nerves. 

She was more than just thinking about using the embryos, she was planning to use them. When her and Alex got divorced, he gave her full rights to the embryos, so whatever she chose to do with it was her choice. Using them or not was entirely in her control, and was going to go through with it. But now… now things were different. She was planning on doing it on her own, raising a little boy or girl by herself, maybe with her friends pitching in every now and then. She had no obligation to tell Alex before, and well, yeah, it would’ve been the right thing to do, she didn’t need to. But Alex was already expecting a kid, and she could tell from their brief interaction, that while he was terrified, he was also over the moon. 

She could still go through with it, if she wanted to. Try to find a way to make co-parenting work. But, Alex lived in Maryland, and sending a child across the country every couple of weeks or fighting for custody was something she would hate more than anything else. Plus, Alex already had a family, him and Jo, and the little baby that they were now going to be bringing into the world. For some reason, she didn’t want to disrupt that. 

“Then what are you waiting for?” Cristina’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. “Time to see a baby evil spawn!” ____

Six hours, twenty three minutes, and thirty-four second later, Emily Meredith Karev is brought into the world, screeching at the top of her very healthy lungs, hands curled into fists and kicking her little legs everywhere, only settling down once she was placed on top of her mother’s chest. 

The new mom had tears streaming down her face, a mixture of happiness and pain after over forty-five minutes of pushing. Alex had a look of pure joy on his features, a smile so wide it practically reached his ears.

Izzie hustled out of the room a few minutes later, once all tests were done and everything was okay, leaving the new parents to be with friends to celebrate the baby girl. She walks to the nearest vending machine, sliding in a dollar and paying for a bag of barbecue chips. She takes a seat on the nearest gurney shoved against the wall, taking a few moments to finally breathe. Her eyes drift closed as she relaxes, leaning her head against the wall, thankful that no laboring mothers currently needed her attention.

It wasn’t too long after when she heard footsteps coming her way, pausing when they stopped in front of the vending machine. She cracks an eye open to see Alex facing the glass, punching in the buttons A7 for a packet of red-vines. 

“Congrats,” she speaks up, causing him to jump, relaxing when he turns around and sees that it was just her. 

He gives her his signature half smirk, “Thanks Iz.”

“You’re in trouble though, Alex Karev,” she grins. “That little girl looks just like Jo.” she laughs softly. She may have only been around the newborn for a few minutes, but that was enough to see that the little girl already had a tuft full of dark brown hair, golden-hazel eyes, and Jo’s nose. Already a mini version of her mom. 

Alex groans, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t remind me. She’s not allowed to go near anyone until she’s at least thirty-five,” he states, already shaking off the thought of the little girl he loved more than anything in the world dating someone.  

Izzie scoffs playfully. “With those looks? You’ll be lucky if she makes it through a day in the nursery without having all the other babies whipped.”

He only smiles good-naturedly, giving her a small smile, letting a few beats of comfortable silence pass between them. 

“I’m happy for you, Alex,” she reassures him. And she was. She would always love Alex, but he was a part of her past, the same way she was a part of his. Being in love with someone was different than loving someone, and that was where they both were with each other. 

“Thanks Izzie,” he sighs, grateful that she knew that he was still a bit anxious about their whole encounter. “You have any kids?” he asks, hoping for a way to settle his nerves. 

She only shakes her head. “No, but I’m thinking about adopting.” It was true. Just because she decided that the embryos were no longer in the running, she wasn’t going to give up on being a mom. 

He gives her a smile. “That’d be good for you,” he says. “You’d make a great mom, Iz.” and she knows that he whole-heartily means those words. 

She bites her lip, “Thank you, Alex.” she perks up, nodding towards the end of the hallway where Jo’s room was. “And you’re already an amazing dad.”

With that he heads back down the hall, and she smiles to herself, because he already got his happy ending, and she was on the way to having hers. 

Things really do happen for a reason.

[somebodytoolove]

mutuals as queen lyrics/songs?

YES I AM SO EXCITED 🥺 thank you so much for sending this!! 🥰

ahh their lyrics are actual poetry, just utter perfection 😙 so i had a lot of fun matching these with everyone. 💗🥺

@ecle-c-tic rach— soul brothers

when you’re under pressure, feeling under pressure, he won’t let you down. / he's my best friend he's my champion, and he will rock you rock you rock you 'cause he's the saviour of the universe. he can make you keep yourself alive. he can love. he's my soul brother. *replace he with she 🥺

@mistiermistshazierdays phoebe— she makes me (stormtroopers in stilettos)

who knows where my dreams will end, i’ll follow as they grow. but the world will know how long i’ll take, and if i’m very slow she makes me so... she is my love.

@trinikins— white queen (as it began)

my lady soon will stir this way in sorrow known. the white queen walks and the night grows pale, stars of lovingness in her hair.

@speciallyred anna— march of the black queen

a voice from behind me reminds me, spread out your wings, you are an angel. remember to deliver with the speed of light a little bit of love and joy. everything you do bears a will and a why and a wherefore.

@freddie-moments kathrin— now i’m here

a baby i was when you took my hand, the light of the night burned bright. the people all stared didn’t understand, but you knew my name on sight. / don’t i love you so. yes, you made me live again.

@is-this-a-queen-of-magic julia— seaside rendezvous

let my imagination (run away) with you gladly, a brand new angle highly commendable. / underneath the moonlight together, we’ll sail across the sea reminiscing every night.

@whitequeen-ofwillowgreen J— teo torriatte (let us cling together)

it’s just as though i hold the flower that touches you, a new life grows, the blossom knows. there’s no one else could warm my heart as much as you... be not gone. / let our candles always burn.

@mazzell-ro ro— millionaire waltz

bring out the charge of the love brigade, there is spring in the air once again. drink to the sound of the song parade, there is music and love everywhere. give a little love to me, take a little love from me. i want to share it with you.

@heyjonesey ella— lily of the valley

neptune of the seas, an answer for me please. the lily of the valley doesn’t know. i lie in wait with open eyes, i carry on through stormy skies. / is there time enough for peace?

@aprilaady dor— brighton rock

oh lady moon, shine down a little people magic if you will. / we must ever be together, nothing can my love erase. oh no i’m comprised, i must apologize if my lady should discover how i spent my holidays.

@killerqueenoftheclouds austen— tenement funster

oh give me a good guitar and you can say that my hair’s a disgrace. or just find me an open car, i’ll make the speed of life outta this place. / i like the good things in life.

@hazypoppy pati— modern times rock n’ roll

get you high heeled guitar boots and some groovy clothes, a ring through your nose. / stars in your eyes and ants in your pants, think you should go far. everybody in this bum sucking world gonna know just who you are. look out.

@some-major-ishues izzy— i want to break free

i’ve fallen in love for the first time and this time i know it’s for real. / oh how i want to be free baby, oh how i want to break free.

@drivenbybri sofie— dreamer’s ball

take me to the dreamers ball. i’ll be right on time and i’ll dress so fine. take me, take me, promise not to wake me til it’s morning, it’s all been true. / you make my life worthwhile with the slightest smile.

@musiccat1971 meg— don’t stop me now

tonight, i’m gonna have myself a real good time. i feel alive. and the world, i’ll turn it inside out. i’m floating around in ecstasy so don’t stop me now. / i don’t wanna stop at all.

@eusuntgroot hj— killer queen

caviar and cigarettes, well versed in etiquette, extraordanarily nice. she’s a killer queen. gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam. guaranteed to blow your mind, anytime.

[unironicduncanstan]

Total Drama Music Camp AU - playlist / performance ideas

here she is,,,, the cursed secret texts,,,,, the total drama music camp playlist , along with some short explanations below, cringe city bitch (most of these are just covers that i feel are the closest to the performance Style id imagine for these characters and not necessarily the exact sound but u feel me) also i went back and tagged my previous posts abt this concept with “td music camp au” so if you dont know what the helling fuck im talking abt plz have a gander xoxo

link: youtube .com/playlist?list=PL-bPcaq3ZK2L682RHPauxrsFIPvGJdsiM (space is there so tumblr hopefully doesnt nerf me from the tag 🥺 )

Some Nights - ok so first weeks challenge. i feel like chris would just want them to all collab together on one huge group performance. kinda like on the first day of school when they make you do the ‘get to know you’ tests. idk exactly who would sing what parts tho bc there are so many so let your imagination run wild !!

Hand crushed by a mallet - ok. OKYAY. im a home of sexual. but this is a Cody, Trent, Tyler, Harold and Izzy song. Cody is on vocals (especially the rap in this version shdofsgjsk), Trent is on guitar and some vocals (does some back and forth with him during the rap), Tyler is on drums (and does that one tiny background screamy bit towards the end), Izzy and Harold are joined up on creating the background track and DJing the whole thing. the distortion/choppy part at the end is izzy LIVE going ape on the audio level sliders. its one of the most energetic performances of the whole series and surprises everyone including the group themselves

Misery Business - Duncan on vocals and guitar, Geoff on drums, Trent also on guitar and maybe some backup vocals. you all know i chose that bc i love associating mgk with duncan but. i rly like this idea actually ;;

Paparazzi - ezekiel. idk who the fuck else except maybe justin bc he’d dance that shit to death. i will not apologize thats Him and its fire but you may write and send any formal complaints to my po box. ill roll a blunt with them,

Pom Pom - Lindsay, Heather, Sadie+Katie, and Izzy. Lindsay and Heather are on vocals, sharing the chorus and each getting a solo verse, and ofc izzy does the weird rap part towards the end, and most of the background track. they all thought they were stuck with izzy but izzy is stuck with these preps. Sadie and Katie are on backup vocals, but their role in this one is mostly dancing and adding ✨ stage presence. 

Maps - Trent is on the guitar and male vocals while Courtney is on the female vocals (the ~top two performers~ gotta have a song together eventually right), DJ on drums, Bridgette on piano. Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna are dancers bc lbr the dance from the video is pretty good for a group number

CREEPER? AW MAN - ok this one. is kind of a joke but wouldnt it be rly hilarious if cody, ezekiel, and harold did this one mostly for fun and the whole second part with the existential breakdown was just. used with on stage satire to make fun of chris for being old or smth. like would they suffer that week, yes, would it be worth it, Y E S, 

Shatter me - Eva, Courtney, Gwen, Beth. QwQ Eva’s on vocals for the first time and rocks it, Courtney is on violin, Gwen on drums, and Beth uses her instruments to make a background track before the performance so she can do stage tech/DJ stuff. oh also justin should be on this one bc i want. those costumes from t he vi deo, 

Chop suey - Lindsay and Courtney on vocals (LMAOSJFkSF listen. we love contrast queens that stun the crowd), Duncan on guitar, Eva on drums (and a lot of background screaming to help the Vibe Tee Em)

Unwritten - Leshawna and Trent? ik its a weird combo but i think they’d kill this

Shake it - GEOFF LMFAOGHJKgjfdG

White Winter Hymnal - Lindsay as Kirstie, Noah probably as Avi even tho we all know he can’t sing that fuckgin low. and idk my other 3 bros as Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel. truly iconique group

Forget me too - QWQ DUNCAN AND COURTNEY ,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont apoloigze for the second mgk = duncan pick, anyways duncans also on guitar, gwen on drums (there is no love triangle in this au btw. the only reason theyre singing this song is bc of the regular ~tension~ that u see in like tdi but its just for the stage mostly. as soon as the songs over they would hug and cheer abt it)

Simple and Clean - Bridgette on singing, Gwen on piano, DJ on drums, Beth on general stage stuff + creates the backtrack with Bridgette's harmonies overlayed

Mr. Brightside - OWEN ON THE BRASS YES BBY ITS HIS TIME 2 FUCKIENG SHINE, Geoff on drums, Gwen begrudgingly on piano, Noah is on vocals and they have to literally bribe him with everything they HAVE to get him to try and sing this way. and he does it and it aint too shabby but he will never do it again

Domino - Leshawna on vocals (again these choices are all, based on general vibe and style and not necessarily voice, this is a tiny white girl singing,), Tyler on drums, Duncan on guitar. energy to the max babey the speakers are gonna blow the fuck out on this one

Starships - KATIE AND SADIE GET TO BE A MAIN DUO !!! they alternate lines , with courtney on violin, izzy on that synthy backtrack, and justin is involved in this one bc id change just a couple of things abt the music video costumes for these characters but like. [grabby hands] gimme

Bulletproof - ezekiel vibes.....? izzy and harold get to team up again for the backtrack. weird kids only karaoke night

The Wolves And The Ravens - 🥺 a geoff and bridgette songk,,,,, 

Never Enough Praying (Mashup) - Courtney on Praying, Heather on Never Enough, Beth and Izzy end up together on the background stuff and make a rly nice track actually

Gasoline - bitch. you know what im gonna say but duncans on vocals, Tyler on guitar, Geoff on drums, Ezekiels on track

Better not wake the baby - Noah gets to sing a song that actually matches his style a tiny bit better lol, DJ on drums, Trent on guitar, and i feel like beth is the only one with any hope of figuring out the accordion keyboard thing thats in the background

This is Gospel - Gwen on piano and Trent on vocals. really the music video is the most important part for me bc i think a challenge where oyu have to sing a really intense emotional song while chris gets to dump shit down on your head from the ceiling of the stage. sounds perfect,

Wildest Dreams - codys on vocals bc god i am Obsessed with this cover being a bisexuality / coming out song . everybody thinks hes just regular simping and being his usual fuccboi self when he chooses this song till he gets to those Very Intentionally Unchanged Pronouns that he sings a little too enthusiastically hhhshHDSHHHSDH , also DJ on drums and Tyler on guitar

Happier - Bridgette solo ! 

Stay - Courtney on guitar and vocals, Dj and Harold are on the hand drum shit. once again i live for the ‘unlikely group actually works together and rocks it’ stuff. courtney as always has talent and enjoys what she does but harold and dj kind of steal the show with how in sync and energetic they are abt it lmfaodghd

[dragonmuse]

i am very much in love with your whole Leda verse and it’s many variations but I ESPECIALLY love this newest one with Eddy and Izzy being married!! Going off of canon and general responsibility vibes, Izzy seems to be the one who takes care of her most often — I would love to see something the other way round, with a minor illness/migraine/idk twisted ankle or something that means they’re in charge of taking care of Izzy for a change. I’m picturing her being a good nurse for someone who’s sick but not worryingly sick? and picturing Izzy being an ATROCIOUS patient? idk I would love to see your take!

(I am so on this particular timeline train at the moment that I did not even hesitate, anon. Here's Izzy with the flu and his Eddy.)

It crept on him through the day. He woke up a little fuzzy around the edges, stuffed up and tired. Eddy wasn’t due back until noon, so he kept it a quiet morning. He wasn’t one to stay in bed, but he just made himself coffee and drank it on the couch instead of doing one of his usual early morning chores. A shower woke him up a little. Probably just a bad night’s sleep then.

The cough started while he was sanding down his latest project, he figured it was the dust and took a break to drink some water. His hands were a little shaky. Wearily, he took a break to sort out lunch. Eddy usually came in hungry and it was good to eat together after they’d been away for a bit. He made a chicken salad with last night's leftovers and studded it with dried cranberries.  

He kept coughing which was more than a little annoying. Refilling his water cup, he stored the chicken salad in the fridge and decided that the rest could wait. The couch seemed like a good call. His eyes kind of hurt, along with his head. Might as well just rest them for a second. 

“Iz?” Eddy stood over him. How had she gotten in without him hearing? He was getting rusty. 

“Hey.” He opened his eyes and that was a mistake. His head was killing him and the light wasn’t helping. 

A hand dropped to his forehead. Her fingers were cool from being outside and it was instantly soothing. 

“Holy shit,” she groaned. “You’re burning up. What are you even doing out of bed?” 

“Oh,” he considered his morning. “Yeah, that makes sense. I made lunch.”

“You want to eat it?” She challenged. 

The idea was not particularly appealing now that she mentioned it. “No.” 

“Go take off your pants and get back into bed,” she ordered. He lifted his eyebrows. “Absolutely the fuck not. You’d pass out in the middle.” 

“Never,” he contended, but bed sounded fucking amazing as it happened, so he got to his feet and made his way there. He could hear her banging around through the house, but gave up figuring out what she was doing in favor of shedding his clothes. Then getting into the bed very fast because he was also freezing. 

It was too early for a nap, but he drifted anyway. Eddy came in and prodded him in the ribs. “Open up.” 

A thermometer was stuck unceremoniously into his mouth. It beeped after a few seconds. 

“Bad?” Izzy hazarded a guess when Eddy didn’t say anything. 

“Is a 102 good?” Eddy asked skeptically. 

“No,” Izzy snorted. “Definitely the fucking flu. Told you Olga got it and we drove together the other day. Probably gave it to me before she took sick leave.” 

“So what do we do?” Eddy set the thermometer down on the side table. 

“Nothing. I’ll drink liquids, watch day time tv, take some decongestant if I need to. It’ll go on its own.” He waved it away. “You should go stay with Bonnet or you’ll get it too.” 

“Wow,” Eddy sat down beside him. “Nice. Really nice, Iz.” 

“What?” 

“In sickness and health, you fucking martyr.  Pretty sure it goes two ways.” 

“You smoked for way longer, this shit gets in your lungs, it'll be a fight against pneumonia,” he protested. 

“Great, you can worry over that when it’s my turn. For now, I’m not actually going to leave you here to manfully die alone. Fuck.” 

He reached out and found their hand. They let him tug at it and then with a huff amusement, let him drop it on his forehead. Their fingers were cool anymore, but it still felt good. 

“Fine.” He mumbled around their thumb. Then after a second’s thought, he nipped at it. 

“I’m going to sell you to a sideshow,” she declared, flicking his nose gently then retreating. “You are such a little freak.” 

“Good luck getting full price when I’m not in mint condition.” 

“You want anything?” 

“Water. Advil. Box of tissues.” 

“Anything else?” 

“Nah.” 

Eddy deposited all the requested items. He sat up enough to take the pill and get down some of the water before he started coughing again. The creeping grossness was finally full upon him, head full of cotton and face full of snot. Great. It wasn’t a graceful landing back on the mattress. 

“Here,” Eddy shoved his phone in his hand. “Text me if you get worse. I’m going to eat something. And not whatever fun special lunch you coughed in for me.” 

That was probably a good call. He rolled over and shivered himself to sleep.  

When he woke up again, he was warm. Eddy was definitely in bed with him, her feet pressed to his calves. He turned over, muffling the resulting cough in his elbow. She was sitting against the headboard, laptop on a pillow as she watched something with a lot of color on the screen.  

“What’s that?” He asked blearily. 

“It’s a comedy thing that Roach got me into. British. Comedians trying to do weird tasks in funny ways.” 

Izzy sneezed into his elbow, grabbed a tissue and blew for what felt like a year, then sagged back against the headboard. 

“This is a real look,” Eddy eyed him speculatively. “Could enter you in a zombie shambling contest.” 

“Do they have those?” He asked groggily. 

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing. C’mere.” 

Izzy wasn’t going to resist that. It took a little doing, but he wound up with his head on her chest, and her arm wrapped around him.  The show didn’t make a lot of sense, but some of it was funny enough to get a laugh out of him. Eddy idly tugged at the ends of his hair. 

Eventually he felt something in the neighborhood of hunger for the first time that day and started to get up. 

“Where are you going?” She asked. 

“Gonna eat something.” 

“Yeah, okay what?” 

“Toast?” 

“Fine.” She set the laptop down. “Don’t suppose you’d eat it in bed?” 

“Fuck no,” he got his feet under him. Crumbs in the sheets gave him a particular horror. He had a full on screaming match with them over it once. It was one of the few times they hadn’t been able to make him back down and it had become a bit of a symbolic battle ground. He didn’t care if he was half-dead, he was not opening the door to them feasting on literal crackers in their literal bed again. Because he would kick them out, charming saying or not.

When they got to the kitchen, Eddy pushed him toward a chair and he couldn’t really do much more than collapse into it like wet tissue. Everything ached. 

“What time is it?” He frowned at the window. It looked darker than it should. 

“Seven.” They stuck two slices of bread in the toaster. 

“Ugh,” he decided and dropped his head into his hands. “Someone put fiberglass in my brain.” 

“Arguably they did that a long time ago,” she said untroubled. “What do you want on it?” 

“Got any of that lime-raspberry stuff left?” 

They had a truly epic collection of jams these days and it took Eddy some perusing to find the right one. 

“This one?” 

“Yeah. You have a good weekend?” He asked. 

“Learned how to stone fabric,” she said happily. “I’m going to look like a fucking disco ball.” 

“Which one is this again?” 

“Purple thing. It’s new, you haven’t seen it yet. You’ll like it,” she smirked. “It’s sleeveless.”

He really did like when their shoulders were exposed. 

She put too much jam on the toast, but he could probably use the extra calories after a day of just coffee. While he ate, she thumbed through something on her phone. His plate clattered into the sink when he finished and then she herded him back into their bed. 

“I’m going for a walk before it gets too dark,” she declared and then handed him his phone again. It was ringing for some reason. “Enjoy.” 

“What?” He watched her go. 

“Hey, Iz,” Lucius said from the phone. Izzy stared at it then put it to his ear. 

“Hey. Sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“Eddy dialed you, didn’t know if you were in the middle of something.” 

“Why did- you sound like shit. What’s wrong?” 

“Just the flu, I think. Got a bit of a fever.” 

“What’s a bit?” Lucius pressed.

“Not sure, actually.” He fumbled for the thermometer. It was under a growing pile of tissues. He popped it under his tongue then checked it. “101.” 

“Yeah that’s a bit,” Lucius was definitely rolling his eyes. “You taking care of yourself?” 

Izzy blinked, “No. Uh. Eddy is.” 

“Oh. What’s that like?” 

He thought about her messing with his hair and making him toast. It was rough in a way, he supposed. She wasn’t the type to dote. But it was a kindness that they couldn’t have afforded him even three years ago. Maybe not even a year ago. He definitely wouldn’t have been able to accept it then either. 

“Good,” he said softly. “I like it.”  

“Aw, Iz,” Lucius’ voice softened. “Cute.” 

“Fuck off,” he grumbled. “My brain is cooking.” 

“Why’d they dial my number?” Lucius wondered. 

“Went for a walk. Probably wanted to make sure I didn’t try to do anything dumb.” 

“Like what?” 

Izzy huffed a laugh. “Might be remembering when I tried to work on my bike when I had a concussion.” 

“Sounds sensible. How’d you even get a concussion?” 

“Got hit by a car, apparently.” 

“What?!” 

“Yeah, that’s what I said. I don’t actually remember it.” 

Lucius squawked about that for awhile, then changed the subject entirely, rambling on about something Izzy wasn’t really up to following. It was nice to just hear his voice anyway. By the time they said good night, the front door had opened and closed. Izzy tracked her movements through the house. Kitchen, cabinets. Microwave. Late dinner then. Pacing and talking while they ate. That was Bonnet, most likely. They talked almost every night even if it was only to say good night. 

Then up the stairs, into the bathroom. Sink running for tooth brushing and the careful skin regime that Izzy could admit did something if not something worth the amount spent on it.  Down the stairs again, probably for something they forgot because they came right back up. Hall light flickered out, bedroom door opened. Closet door opened. Shuffling off of the day’s clothes. Closet light off and then the bed dipping down.  

“Still alive?” They checked. 

“Mostly.” He agreed. 

He dozed again while she messed around on her phone. 

“Hey, how hard is to make that soup you do when I have a cold?” 

“Easy,” Izzy yawned into her ribs. “Just saute garlic, ginger and onions then throw in a can of Campbells.” 

“That shit is from a can?” Eddy asked incredulously. “All this time, I’m thinking you’re doing from scratch Susie Homemaker stuff and it’s from a can?” 

“I used to do homemade and you told me it didn’t taste right,” he said amused. “I figured you liked the metal aftertaste.” 

“Fucking con artist,” Eddy determined. “Why the ginger and shit then?” 

“S’good for you,” he yawned. “And it smells good even if you’re stuffed up.” 

She put her hand between his shoulder blades, digging her fingers in until he groaned. It felt fucking amazing. 

“Stede says you feed a cold, starve a fever, but being hungry fucking blows.” 

“That’s not about food anyway,” Izzy muttered. “It’s about temperature and it’s wrong. Don’t make me soup.” 

“You can’t fucking stop me right now, can you?” 

“Eddy,” he tried to say reasonably, but it came out more as a whine. “Don’t burn my fucking pans.” 

“I’ll do what needs to be done and you’ll fucking shut up about it, plague rat.” 

He shut up about it, but he did it with a smile and fell asleep feeling like dog shit and also pretty fucking great.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Eight

Table of Content or Part Thirty-Seven

Read here on wattpad

A/N: Question — what song do you think of when you think of Nikki and Viv? I'm trying to see something

Word count: 3.3k

Warning(s): Explicit language, Sexual situations, Drug abuse

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My bare feet hook underneath his thighs the second I realize he's about to  finish and he gives a crooked smirk up at me, his breathing beginning to shallow.

Nikki holds my hips still, groaning out as his cum coats the inside of me, causing me to let out a hazey moan, my mind cloudy from our rather lengthy round.

Once he's finished, I'm getting off of him and falling beside him, catching my breath as we recover is silence fore several minutes.

"Are you on birth control or something?" He asks me out of nowhere and I tense up, looking at him.

"Why're you asking?"

"I've been thinking about it since Vince and Sharise had Skylar, for some reason. I mean, I haven't used a rubber since we started dating and most of the time I don't pull out, and we've only had one pregnancy scare in the past, what, like, four years?"

"You've managed to keep track of how long we've been together?" I ask him, pretending to be shocked and he gently hits my arm with the back of his hand, and I chuckle, rolling over to face him, my lips pressing to his bicep for a moment.

I think I'm in the clear, dodging his question, but I'm not.

"I'm being serious, Viv, are you on something or...?" He asks and I lick my lips.

"Maybe my antidepressant affects fertility, I don't know." I shrug, lying through my teeth. "Drugs can cause issues on your end, too, so maybe that's another reason."

"Oh." He replies.

I avoid looking at him, sitting up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed before reaching down to grab his shirt by my feet.

You know those lies, that start simple and small, and then snowball more and more over time and explode in flames from hell that melt the snow and turn it into scalding hot water that leaves third-degree burns on the person that's being lied to? Yeah, we both had lots of those, and that was one of mine.

I

take a shower and brush my teeth, excited for my plans tonight, and as I start putting makeup up on, Nikki's getting in the shower.

"Are you and Robin going out tonight?" I ask him.

"Uh, yeah. Sparkie's coming, too." He replies and I roll my eyes.

I know they'll go out to a club and hide in the bathroom, shooting up and snorting blow a  majority of the time, only leaving to get some drinks.

"My doctor was really curious as to why I needed a refill so soon being that he gave me a month supply a week before Sparkie traded it." I comment to remind him Sparkie's a piece of shit.

"Sparkie learned his lesson, baby." He tells me in a half-chuckle and I raise my brows at myself in the mirror and turn the sink on.

"Jesus fuck, Viv!" He screams, being bombarded with ice cold water for a moment.

"Awe, I'm sorry, maybe Sparkie can sympathize with you." I reply smartly.

He's getting out of the shower, covered in suds, glaring at me, and I take off running with him chasing close behind.

"Spoiled brat!" He calls at me, the both of us naked as jaybirds.

"Trader bastard!" I say back, right before he catches me, pulling me against his wet, soapy body, his hands not skipping a moment to start tickling me.

I squeal, the both of us falling to the floor, my feet and legs kicking out of instinct.

"Don't you do it." He threatens. "Remember what happened last time."

"Not my fault you're a pussy." I reply, immediately regretting it when he starts tickling me again, this time, getting on top of me to pin me down.

He doesn't let up until I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears, and he's tired of struggling with me.

We look at each other for a minute, before he grins and kisses me.

"I gotta finish getting ready." He tells me, getting off of me and helping me up.

"Yeah, I do, too."

I decided a nice trip to Malibu would be a great thing for GN'R. I mean, go to Tansy's house there, have her invite over some of her single girl friends to mingle with the guys, stay over night so they don't have to worry about whether or not they'd be able to crash at their stripper friends' apartment and sleep on the floor that night, have a nice breakfast together the next morning, and just give Axl and Izzy time to really get to know Tansy, because they haven't hung out with her very much, while Slash, Duff and Steven see her almost more than I do.

I glance around the living room of Tansy's Malibu beach house, seeing beach bunnies all around with perfectly tanned skin, bombshell hair and perfect smiles, then look at Steven and Slash, who seem to be having a pretty good time.

They both look like they're in heaven, girls on either side of them, obviously fans of their work on the Sunset Strip back in L.A.

Izzy took a girl up to the guest bedroom long ago, while Axl's just nursing a bottle of Jack, with a beautiful brunette chattering his ear off while he's pretending not to care about what Tansy's doing as she talks to one of her girl friends across the room.

I do a mental head count, and notice my 6'4 blonde is nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he found a girl or two of his own and followed in Izzy's footsteps, taking over a spare room?

I brush it off, deciding it's none of my business and step to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi out of the fridge. 

When I pass by the doors that lead to the balcony over looking the ocean, though, I see the outline of someone sitting in the lounge chair. 

Recognizing the slender frame, I grab my soda and head outside, Duff looking over his shoulder to see who I am, before smiling at me innocently, bottle of Vodka by his foot and pack of Marlboros on one knee as a sketch pad and pen are being supported by his other.

"Hi." I say as he scoots over to make room for me. "Mr. Social Butterfly." I add, sarcastically.

"Hey." He replies, moving his Vodka over so I won't knock it down with my foot.

"I figured you be eating that up." I motion to the door, referring to the gorgeous girls inside and he chuckles a little.

"I don't know, I haven't really been feeling chicks lately." He tells me and I furrow my brows a little.

"Well, I'm sure she has some boy friends, too, if you're feeling something different." I inform him, knowing what he meant, but he laughs and shakes his head.

"Not like that, Viv." He tells me and I pull my red hair behind my shoulders to get it out of my face, before taking a sip of my drink. "I've been, uh, working on something new, kinda. The lyrics have been going off left and right in my head, I just thought I'd better get somewhere quiet and write them down before I lose them." He explains, holding up his notepad.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I feel like I've intruded, or messed up his groove, about to leave him alone to finish but he puts his hand on my knee to stop me from standing up.

"No, no, it's fine." He insists, taking his hand off of me, not thinking anything of it, despite me feeling warmth radiate from where he touched me.

I ignore it.

"I've already gotten everything I had in mind, so far." He explains. "Just a verse and chorus."

"What's the name of it?" I ask, and he scratches the back of his neck.

"I don't know if I need to tell you. I'm superstitious about this stuff, Viv." He tells me, even though he's completely full of shit.

He just wants to aggravate me.

"It's just the title, Duff. You let me hear you say 'turn around, bitch, I gotta use for you' and this can't be worse than that." I point out and he chuckles, licking his lips before looking at me.

His hand covers the lyrics, exposing the title line of the page.

"Paradise City" is scribbled in his writing and I smile when he moves his hand and let's me read  the chorus, and verse that he's gotten so far, a giant smile pulling at my lips.

"Who the hell inspired this?" I ask him, raising my brows.

"Nobody particular." He shrugs. "You like it?"

"I already love it." I tell him.

Not to compare two completely different bands who earned their names all on their own, but there are a few song parallels between Guns N' Rose's Appetite for Destruction, and Mötley Crüe's Girls, Girls, Girls albums.

Guns' Welcome to the Jungle was like Mötley's Wild Side. Paradise City was like Girls, Girls, Girls. Mr. Brownstone was like Dancing on Glass. But my favorite parallel has to be Sweet Child O Mine and You're All I Need.

I remember Nikki had given me a tape of You're All I Need after we got into a massive argument because he thought I was spending too much time with Duff. But he had practically accused me of having feelings for Duff, and even acting on them (which was pretty hypocritical being that he'd been screwing Vanity since 1986 at that point.)

A few weeks later, Nikki convinced me to come down to the studio so he could personally give me a copy of a song he had written me, and me--being excited--decided I wanted the guys to hear it, too.

I went to the Franklin Plaza where Steven, Duff, Slash, Izzy and Axl were hanging out, discussing a meeting they'd had with their label.

When I told them Nikki wrote a love song about me (thinking it was his way of trying to patch up our marriage and say to the world "I love this woman") the guys had to hear it, not believing me.

The ballad started beautifully, tears coming to my eyes, but my warmed heart quickly began boiling in my chest by the time the second chorus ended.

"I don't think this is a love song." Izzy stated, while shaking his head a little.

"Yeah, uh...he's talking about killing you." Axl had told me, everyone seemed slightly disturbed.

"Your girlfriends get Sweet Child O Mine and what does the dedicated wife that has done nothing but love this sick bastard get?! A song dedicated to his deep desire to murder me!"

"Dude, hasn't he actually tried to kill you before?" Steven asked.

Which made the song even more ironic, along with the last line of the chorus, "and I loved you but you didn't love me" which in itself was slap in the fucking face.

I didn't hear the full song at that time because Duff had took it out of the player and stomped it under his cowboy boot.

That pretty much set the tone for the months to come.

"You're also incredibly biased." He replies in the same tone and I nudge him with my elbow.

"You don't know how many songs I have actually had to tear out of Nikki's hand and hide them from him because they were so bad I just could not allow them to be recorded." I tell him.

"Oh, please." He brushes me off.

"Have you heard 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask him with raised brows.

"Yeah."

"Home Sweet Home and Smokin' in the Boy's Room were the only really good ones. And Smokin' in the Boy's Room was a cover. The other songs were songs I didn't know were written, or I would have hid them from him, too." I state and he tries not to laugh, but fails, making himself snort, which kickstarts my laughter. 

Once we settle down, he clears his throat, and gets a kind of serious expression on his face.

"I really wish he wasn't on that shit, Viv." He tells me and I don't even have to ask who he's talking about. "I mean, I'm not judging him or whatever because Izzy and Slash are in on that stuff, too, but...I just hate to see he's on it, because it's kinda hard to manage it once you hit a certain point, ya know?" He asks and I nod a little. "I think he's a pretty cool guy...so it sucks to see him act like that."

"It's not that bad, right now." I tell him, completely in denial. "He's still Nikki, he just does stuff he's not suppose to. That's nothing new to me."

"I'm just a little worried, is all." He admits.

"There's no need to be." I reassure him. "He's got a handle on things."

Dear God did I eat those words a week later in Dallas, Texas.

It's like watching a fucking car accident. 

Except instead of a car, it's my husband, and instead of a car accident, it's him losing his ever loving mind, crouched on the hotel room desk, as he babbles on, making absolutely no sense as he shouts at his parents who aren't even present.

I just came back from the pool, got a shower, and came in to him doing this.

"Nikki!" I try to get him out of whatever drug-induced show he's on.

"I'm not me! I'm not Nikki! I'm someone else!" He insists, hands yanking at his hair, his eyes completely taken over by an entirely different beast. 

I panic, immediately calling Fred.

"The fuck is wrong?!" He asks when I open the door, hearing Nikki's screaming and carrying on and I try to keep the absolute fear that's locking up my system from showing.

"I-I don't know. I got in from the pool and he was kinda jittery but I thought he'd done some blow, but then he started screaming when I was in the shower and now he's--"

Fred gets tired of hearing Nikki's meaningless shrieks at people who aren't in the room with us, and snatches him off the desk.

Nikki hits the floor, and a switch is flipped, sending him into strong convulsions, opting thick, white foam to pour from his mouth.

"Fuck, Sixx!" Fred lets out, turning him on his side. "Get me a roll of toilet-paper." He barks at me and I do as I'm told, saying a very colorful, silent prayer in my head. 

He tries to get Nikki to bite down on it to keep him from biting his tongue, but Nikki can't do it. screaming instead.

When I think I can't take the confused, scared, out-of-character shrill, it's like God himself knocks Nikki out, leaving Fred and I in complete silence, riddled with what just happened.

Fred checks his pulse and sighs in relief, looking at me.

"Viv, are you alright?" He asks me, taking deep breaths.

"Y-yeah." I say, nodding, even though I know it's written all over my face that I can't be further from "alright."

"Vivian--"

"I just need a second." I tell him, standing up to go to the bathroom, disguising oncoming tears in a strong, steady voice that's physically uncomfortable to push past the lump in my throat.

I lock myself inside the bathroom and turn the water back on, gripping the counter before I find myself in the floor, quiet sobs rocking through me.

I just want my Nikki back...not this tainted demon nesting himself in Nikki's skin, festering his bullshit in Nikki's mind.

By the time I'm worn down from crying, and tired from lying on the bathroom floor, I pull myself up and open the bathroom door, stepping into the room.

I guess Fred put Nikki in the bed before he left, because Nikki's still passed out, just tucked in the covers. 

I get pajamas on, scared to even touch him because I don't want him to start seizing again.

Cautiously getting closer to him, nestling my forehead against his arm, I thank God for the feeling of his pulse under my finger tips in the crook of his arm, and find myself passing out with utter exhaustion.

The next morning, Nikki's really quiet.

I'm not sure if he remembers what happened last night, but I'm not asking him. 

After finding a needle and evidence of an 8-ball of coke, he can lick my twat if he thinks I'm talking to him anytime soon. 

The video shoot for Home Sweet Home is happening today, and a limo picks Nikki and I up at the hotel, driving us to the venue, neither of us acknowledging the other. 

Once we get there, someone's dressing Nikki like a damn toddler, because he's too fucked from last night to dress himself in his done up stage costume.

Nikki was so, so, so, obviously, utterly fucked up when they filmed the music video for Home Sweet Home. 

The entire time, he was chugging Jack to try to calm himself down from a high he later described felt like, "being on acid and speed at the same time" and with the way he was acting like he couldn't see a damn thing, I believe it. 

He kept sunglasses on a majority of the time so people couldn't see how his eye were practically doing cartwheels. 

"Viv, we're about to start, where's Nikki?" His bass tech asks me and I glance around, furrowing my brows a little.

"I haven't seen in him about an hour. He went over there by the stage...at least I think he did." I tell him, stepping over to the last place I saw him. "He was here and..." I trail off, hearing Nikki having a full blown conversation, his voice coming from underneath the stage.

The two of us sit and listen for a moment, realizing Nikki's just talking, taking long pauses, then answering a question that was never asked by anybody, not even himself.

"Who is he talking to?" His tech asks me under his breath so Nikki won't hear.

I roll my jaw, getting fed up.

"Probably the fucking demon he sees and befriends every time he gets high." I state, fully believing that at this point, there is indeed a demon following him around, breathing down his neck, stripping him of his control and cheering him on with each grain of coke, bottle of Jack, cc of heroin and prescription-grade pill.

"Nikki," His tech starts. "Who're you talking to?"

"I'm talking. Leave me alone." Nikki argues.

"Nikki." I state, looking at him. 

It's the first time he's heard my voice all day.

"There's nobody there, baby. C'mon." I motion my hand for him to get out from under the stage.

"Leave me alone!" He snaps at me, nearly hissing.

"Dude, calm down, you're freaking out." His tech tells him. 

"Nikki, get your ass out from under there or so help me God, I will come in and drag you out by your dick." I promise him. 

He puffs up like a pissed off rooster and stomps out, passing by us, grumbling under his breath.

Do you wanna know what was really fucked up about that time? Vince couldn't have a beer without someone losing their mind. He was supposed to be sober. Nikki would bust Vince's balls if he even saw him looking at a bottle...but then Nikki would load anything and everything into his body, simultaneously.

Vince quickly became the odd man out, and had been ever since that night with Razzle. There was this vibe, this tension, that Vince was only kept in the band at that time, because they were getting hotter and hotter, and each member was the ticket to reach their full potential as a band. Each member was important.

Without Tommy, there was no band. Without Mick, there was no band. Without Nikki, there was no band.

And without Vince, there was no band...that was the one that really didn't sit too well with Sikki.