#i am not sure if i am just very paranoid now but i feel like they are overwriting his voice on phone calls too
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aberrational · 2 days ago
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"I understand what you mean, really, about being defined by this in a wholly literal sense, which makes it seem outright impossible to ever fight against the tide, but, like--" it points down at the ground to indicate this interaction in its entirety, "is this, all of this, dictated by someone else? Are every single one of your lines fed through the perception of humanity, or do you consciously choose your words with respect to what is expected of you? Is it full fledged control, influence, or voluntary? By what degree, and what mechanics, are you molded by mythos?"
The Perfect Person has a vested interest in this specific ideology, this coercion to act a certain way. God knows (in a literal sense) he is an unshaking victim to this phenomenon, and almost as if to torment him by forcing it t witness what it could never achieve on its own, to assist someone else in breaking from their own chains is one of his top priorities- though, realistically and increasingly, he doesn't care on a personal level about Lucifer or his plight. He could just turn around and let the man fade from his mind, no longer offer himself up to fix a problem that this devil literally did not want anyone bothering with.
The main sticking point is that being controlled is, typically, inherently harmful and distressing. The happiness and contentedness often felt by victims is a facade; in some way they are worse off for their condition, even if they do not acknowledge it or work around it. "I am fine with what others dictate I am" is often rooted in "I am incapable of changing what I am" which is often itself rooted in an unrealistic paranoid belief or tangible issue which should be battled in some sort of magnificent quest. What can be solved and stands in the way of (as the perfect Person deems it) ideal living must be dealt with.
Still, Lucifer either seems genuinely fine, or more effort than he'd be worth if the Perfect Person really became invested, and overall, the Perfect Person genuinely generally doesn't care. Lucifer is not cute or particularly handsome, nor an actual ideological mess it would be concerned with, so the only thing that would make it sincerely interested would be the bad boy factor. Which leads into...
"Hey, now," the Perfect Person says, big wide smile growing on its cute fluffy little face. Evident in how it offered itself on a silver platter to be attacked viciously, physical threats do not frighten the cat as the nature of its being bars it from feeling nerve based pain. Being loomed over only delights the Perfect Person, proving that it has gotten under Lucifer's skin. If it can't improve Lucifer's life, at the very least it can bother him. "I'm just here to see you happy, y'know? I just want to make sure you know what you need or want, and that you can get it. Whether that be resolving whatever mental tangles have built up in your mind, or just letting you kick back and indulge in-- well, just about anything. Whatever! Whatever you want. If it'd help you." It flutters its eyelashes at Lucifer. "And if you'll only be nicies. To me, at least."
"How? My entire existence is know by mythos mitosis." Generally speaking, there'd been so much media that had his-- "Ah, God." He clarified. "Elohim. God. Yahweh. Allah. Heavenly Father. Pops."
"To borrow some words; I am that I am." And no one needed to know more about him. His personal quirks, as it were. When he was summoned or worshipped or thought about or rotated in a human mind like a curious blorbo, no one was really thinking about him outside of his role--his Mantle. What he got up to outside of that was his own business. His own life. The two overlapped, of course. So where does the Mantle end and where does he begin? Who knows. What he could say was that Sam was a whole different manifestation of the Satan-Mantle than Stan was. Performatively? Not very different. They both hurt him and had an obsession with him and his torment. Granny Smith versus a Honeycrisp. They're both apples.
As for...hedonism and mindlessness? His expression grew stony. Anyone that asked that to his face was out for blood. Like Sloth and Stan and Ashema. And his old friend heroin. Alcohol. Quaaludes. Overstimulation that lead to deep crashing out.
"How is that any of your business?" He asked while leaned in closer with a harsh voice.
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ryllen · 9 months ago
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pov: me super sad on them altering zayne's ENG voice on the recent update
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mellotronmkll · 3 months ago
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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard
#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on#due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad#and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else#like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just#try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people#upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like#where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time#fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much#and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like#it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like#ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a#puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i#like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends#on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god
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willowfey · 1 year ago
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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em0-opossum · 1 year ago
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sick of people acting like being alone/lonely = being single. ofc you're allowed to feel like that, I'm aro and could not care less that I don't have a partner so I have no idea what it feels like to have that experience, but god just once I'd like to find poetry and art made by people who know how it feels to have no friends and feel lonely no matter how many people are around you and know that you don't belong no matter where you are
#I'm lucky enough to have two good friends right now who i love very much#but that doesn't mean that they understand how i feel or how i have felt#and knowing you're alone in that overbearing loneliness just alienates you more and further perpetuates the feeling#i still miss out on so many opportunities to be friends with people i genuinely want to be friends with so bad because i can't talk to them#i still get so paranoid sometimes and stop replying to anyone because I'm convinced they hate me and there's something wrong with me#sometimes to the point where i avoid teachers who i need to talk to because i am sure that everything i say will be wrong#even someone being nice can feel awful because i think that they just feel bad or are pretending and actually trying to make fun of me#i know nobody actually knows who i am or how i feel because i hide everything to fit in with people and what they need/want#i have never felt like i belong anywhere and trying to explain that to people is so hard#there are times i love being alone but knowing that I've missed out on every regular human experience is so isolating#i just want to be normal and have friends i love and hang out with and talk to and not feel like every word i say could be the end of me#and when i try to find anybody who relates all i get is “oh im alone again :(( being single is awful”#i really do empathize with those people but it is nothing like my experience of loneliness#(tags are just for finding people who relate)#social anxiety#avpd#avoidant personality disorder#actuallyavpd#loneliness#chronic loneliness
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miunala · 4 days ago
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insane how one friendship has me feeling like i have no room to relax or breathe
its not even their fault either. i just have stupid attachment issues and they trigger my avoidant instincts so fucking bad. theyre not a bad person. i just gave too much of myself to them and i feel deeply uncomfortable with that.
also i invited them to a priv server bc i thought it would assure them that i did value them but it feels like i threw away my safe space… like i dont even wanna hop into vc while theyre in there. that vc was *mine*. those are *my friends*. i shouldve said i wasnt comfortable with them being there when they asked…
why am i crying about this? 😭 my mentals are so fucked up i just want things to go back to normal
atp my only safe spaces that are *mine* is the dms between my best friend and i, and my tumblr…
#nala talks#we had long talks before#and basically it all comes down to how#a lot of issues in our friendship were how they were anxious and i was just. me#like they wanted more spaces for us to hang out and they wanted to vc more and i just was never comfortable with that#but because they didnt have that they got into a whole thing about how hearing about all these people and things that i did without them#made them feel parasocial????#and i was like oh. oh#it feels like ever since then i only say things to placate them#and make sure that their anxiety doesnt consume them#bc they have a fuckton of anxiety when itcomes to our friendship??#and like#i dont get it#i dont understand how someone could place so much of theirselves into a person#ive never done that before. at least#the only person i did that with besides my brother was my best friend#so i dont understand#how can they do that with everyone? why would they do that with ME??#i dont get attached to people. i can feel partial to some more than others but i dont get ATTACHED#and theyre very attached to me#and it feels suffocating#its suffocating me#and thats my fault because i was never taught how to love properly#i called them bestie as a meme but they took it seriously#i said ily during a joke and now they say i love you back#im the problem. i just didnt think too much about the things i said and did#how i carelessly shared too much of myself because im used to people not caring or leaving eventually#agh#aagghhh#also it says a lot about how paranoid i am thinking ‘will they somehow read this too’ GDKDBJDBFHD
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teaboot · 4 months ago
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I seriously hope you can job hop to something else cause you're not chaotic neutral man.
You're still a white Canadian whose actions and job help more the megacorps keep the status quo.
I really looked up to you but that's on me.
And yeah, I know security, cop shit and military pay good money but at the cost of my people? Fuck no.
Listen. I feel you. But there's a lot of cold, power-tripping bastards in this line of work and if I stick where I am then they don't get to have that.
I'm not a cop. I am not beholden to the justice system. Sometimes I get contracted out to people who say shit like "addicts should be put down, if you see any crackheads drag them out" and I nod and say "yes sir", and then I take their money and use it to buy those people coffee and a sandwich and tell 'em when free lunch days are at the church.
Boss sees me walking with someone and thinks I'm kicking them out, gives my boss great reviews. I'm having a great conversation with Connie, who used to by a stylist and wound up on the street after an accident that left her with chronic pain and a heroin addiction. Connie learns that there's a gap between two property lines nearby where technically nobody can call to have her removed.
There's a really sweet guy in town who's normally very nice, but sometimes flies into paranoid rage and yells slurs at people. Sometimes he forgets he's been banned from places and wanders in looking for a wife he hasn't had for nine years. Owner sends me to kick him out, and I ask "hey Mike, how are you?" And see where we are today.
One time there was a guy whose abusive ex kept following him to work, and I got to walk him to his car at the end of every day to make sure she couldn't get him alone.
Another person had a stalker who kept asking receptionists when she was gonna be there, when she was supposed to leave, if she was in today. I'd keep record of every time he came in, every time someone saw him, every time he violated his restraining order or damaged her things.
And when I wonder if I'm actually helping or not, or if I'm part of the greater problem, I remember that other people who work with me call homeless people wildlife and talk about how bad they wanna get an excuse to fight someone and I remember that I'm the one who knows where the blind spots on the cameras are, and thank God it's not him.
My position is fundamentally different from that of the military or law enforcement. I don't *need* to be buddy-buddy with most of these dickheads- I don't *need* to send people into the justice system.
I do single-person foot patrol. Nobody cares how I get the job done. They say, "Hey, faceless goon number three- make that bastard disappear" and I say "on it, boss" and give him tickets to disney world.
I once asked another guard if he knew that one of our regulars used to be an airplane technician. He said, "No, I don't talk to them". Blanket "Them". "Them" as in street people. "Them" as in addicts, or shoplifters, or ex-cons, or sex workers.
I asked why, and he told me, "it's easier if you don't think of them as people."
Anyhow, now I get calls to "watch that sketchy lady who just came in" and I say, "yes, sir" and leave her the fuck alone, 'cause that's Jolene, and people always think she's on drugs and aggressive but she's just deaf in one ear and slurs cause she has brain damage, you dickhead
so yeah, don't worry, I've spent a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of my vocation, and I still think I'd rather be in charge of my locations than someone like Darryl, who dreams of "cuffing a perp" and drives a car with Punisher decals on the hood
Also it's minimum wage but that's kinda tangential
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girltomato · 4 months ago
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sweet girl: i was looking for that
max verstappen x fem!reader
warnings: swearing
max almost steals a book from a random lady because there's a picture of the pretty girl he bumped into on the back cover
fc: phoebe dynevor
sweet girl masterlist
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melbourne, november 2021
In all honesty, Max had forgotten about that night in that fancy club and that beautiful woman. He had much more important things to focus on like winning the world championship. The pressure was on and the energy amongst the Red Bull team was electrifying.
The way it all happened was a complete coincidence, one stranger's mistake dredging up the memories he had desperately shoved to the back of his consciousness.
A book had been left on a table in the Red Bull energy station. Normally he wouldn't even blink as he pushed it aside and took a seat but the author's name had him spiralling. Y/n, was all be read and he could already smell the phantom whiff of her raspberry perfume, he could feel the warmth of her hand in his, wiling away the buttery feeling on his jeans. Maybe he was being paranoid, he never got her surname, maybe this was another Y/n.
Nope, he flipped the book to read the blurb and there was her face smiling up at him. The same sparkly eyes and the sweet smile he had fantasised about for weeks after their chance encounter. Shit, she was real. He had truly convinced himself she was some figment of his imagination.
“Oh, I was just looking for that.” A woman rushed into the room, charging towards him at a speed he didn't realise was achievable in high heels. He handed the book over to its rightful owner begrudgingly, committing its author name to memory - not that he could ever forget now he had a full name to put to the face that had entranced him. I suppose they both had been looking for that book whether they knew it or not.
“Good book?” he queried, as the woman put the book back into her handbag.
“The best I've ever read.”
It was later that night when he was finally home alone and free from paying eyes that he opened his phone and searched her name.
Search : Y/n L/n
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Google didn't teach him anything new apart from her age. He already knew she was an author and he was pretty sure he could sketch her face blindfolded and drunk. So next was Instagram.
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liked by harpercollinsuk, yourbff and more
yourusername it's finally here!! after years of work, mousetrap is now available everywhere. this has been such a long time coming and i have legions of people to thank for helping me reach this point. i am a published author that's so crazy!!!!
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yourbff so fuckin proud!!
⤷ yourusername ugly crying, couldn't have done it without u🤍🤍
yourmother my babies dream came true, so proud of you sweetheart. can't wait to read it.
⤷ yourusername love u mama💖
harpercollins you are incredible, so glad you're part of the family.
⤷ yourusername 🥰🥰
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There was no harm in liking the post, right? She had a public page and he technically had just stumbled across her book and before going on an internet deep dive. And following her didn't really mean anything, maybe he just really enjoyed her books or something. With a sigh Max locked his phone, he needed to get some sleep before qualifying tomorrow. Nobody had to know he fell asleep to the memory of her laughter that night.
maxverstappen1 liked your post
maxverstappen1 followed you
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okay it's here!!! thank u all so much for all the love so far and to everyone who voted on the poll, it means the world. random lady will be making return in future parts. unrelated, i've been working on my fem!driver oc and she will be making her debut this weekend i think, very excited.
as always, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated. have a wonderful day/night lovely people🤍
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criibibi · 9 days ago
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Synopsis: After losing so much, Spider-woman learns to just keep moving. Only for her to end up somewhere far from home. Her first agenda is figuring out where she is, and how to get back. The only problem is that she ended up somewhere fictional (to her). Playing hero with Batman was not in her bingo cards this year. Hopefully she will be able to make it back home before she catches unwanted attention.
Masterlist: Prev; Next;
Chapter 5 - No Time to Waste
It’s been a week and a half since the last power surge incident and so far everything was quiet. Too quiet for Batman’s liking. It definitely increased his paranoia which in turn causes him to be extra moody. The culprit? Whoever was behind the power surge in the Narrows. They became an anomaly to Gotham. Unwanted, an eyesore in the eyes of Batman.
And the issue is, there hasn’t been any news at all. No sightings, no suspects, nothing. Bruce felt challenged in a way. Something is in Gotham, living in his city and he feels like he’s still so far from discovering who or what it is. For the world's greatest detective is having a hard time solving this case. How frustrating.
With no news of another quantum breach, big or small, nothing. It’s frustrating. What’s even more of a headache about this unsolved case, is another thing that has come to his attention- thanks Jim.
Bruce started hearing more reports of a new ‘vigilante’. But there are no pictures, no camera footage, no evidence, just testimonies, occasional sightings and witnesses. Nothing concrete, nothing solid, just no proof. So frustrating.
And there is a pattern.
What he does know is that they are always quick and efficient, never staying too long, leaving once or before the police arrive, and it’s always low level crooks like muggers or thiefs. Respectful and polite (from those they saved) and they mostly keep to the shadows of the night.
Whoever this new problem is, is trying to stay hidden and Batman doesn’t like that at all. Not. One. Bit. 
Despite the Narrows being Duke’s territory, he is just one person who patrols in the daytime, so some of his sons and daughter help patrol at night. But it seems this newcomer has incredible luck and scurries off everytime they are even close to their location.
But this doesn’t mean Batman will just let it go, oh no. Of course not silly, he’s going to find this new vigilante and see what they are about. He’s going to evaluate them, judge them, and all it takes is one mess up. Just one and he will make sure they are locked up in Arkham.
A bit extreme, possibly. But he will take no chances, not when it comes to the safety of his city. Gotham is his to protect and defend, he’s keeping many eyes out for this intruder. Watch your back.
“Sorry to interrupt your brooding hour B, but I have something I think you want to know. Also you have a message from Commissioner Gordon.” A new voice spoke through his comms.
“On my way.” He replied.
“No, I think it’s best you go with-”
“I am fully capable of handling it myself just fine. I don’t require father’s assistance.” a third voice snapped. “I’m here with Kent, we’re fine Drake.” And the line was turned off.
“Explain.” Batman demanded.
“So you see…”
-
After the failed attempt at contacting Miguel, you spent a couple of all nighters in advancing your beacon. This time, it would require even more energy but now it won’t cause a potential blackout. But it will notify the bats of your location like last time.
You know you have to be extra fucking careful this time. You might have gotten lucky those days ago in not getting caught, but you know your luck is shit anyways and Batman is one paranoid mother fucker. Him and his wards.
You have to be very cautious in where you go and how you will do this. This new connector is a bit more sturdier than the lightweight one you made before, but this time it also won’t require you to be stuck in one place. Actually, your signal will ping in more than one location. It will bounce off the cell towers and throw a fake location. 
This will certainly tip the scales to your favor in avoidance of detection. Now, you won’t have to rely on your (shit) spider luck! 
All you have to do is to connect it to a phone or computer, and connect that to any service in the area and manually set it off- which you can easily hack. There is only one tiny itty bitty problem. Guessed it yet? No? Well it’s simple, the only problem is- YOU DON’T HAVE A PHONE.
You could theoretically use the library computer but with civilians around you is a big major no. You’re also pretty sure the library closes at like 8 or something.
No worries. You have a solution for this baby problem. Is it build one yourself? Pfft- fuck no. You don’t have time to build a phone and even less for a computer, you still have to tweak your god damn watch for fuck sake. So, you’re just going to buy one.
And with what money- I hear you ask. Simple. You’re going to make some. Time to become Spider-woman again.
Only until you have enough for a decent phone- you said. It’ll be easy- you said. Until you were proven wrong.
You spent two days hunting and defeating crooks, webbing the worst ones up, while the not so bad but are making shitty choices were let go (with the promise of hunting them down should they go back to doing bad stuff). Some advice here and there, pickpocketing criminal’s money, you know, the usual shabang.
Can’t forget you’re avoiding all cameras so as to not give yourself away. Though you almost got caught by the police once, haha. You never stick around long enough to get spotted by the bats or the cops.
Until one night, dressed as a normal civilian, you were coming back from a shelter, turning a corner and you were immediately surrounded by a group of thugs wanting to rob you. You literally have nothing, so the only thing they would be robbing is your backpack with extra clothes and your suit. And maybe like two granola bars.
You tried to charm your way out of this situation because first of all, youre fucking tired, two, you don’t have time for baby shit, and three, you’re about to start tweaking. Of course the five men didn’t take your sarcastic remarks lightly and decided that their knives would do the talking.
So you beat them up. All five of them. 60 seconds was all it took. So to recompense wasting a minute of your time, you loot their cash discreetly.
Unfortunately (or fortunately) a well dressed man popped out of nowhere, getting close to you and you warned him you would break his wrist if he touched you- he still came but didn’t touch you. Holding out a black card he presented it to your face.
“You fight well, kid. If you want to make money fast,real money, call me and go here.”
“Um, I’m not a k-”
“You’ll make hundreds.” He cut you off. Rude. ”And if you impress the boss like you did me, you can make more.”
Spider luck?
Oh well that got your attention. Eyes narrowed. “Fast money, how?”
“Did no one ever teach ya about ‘stranger danger’? It’s a fight club, if you will. A tournament if you’re interested.”
Spider luck.
After pondering it for a quick second, here you are, getting a card with a free invite to a ring, probably filled with big, crazy, and most likely wanted criminals, and you get paid to beat them up? Sign me the fuck up. “I’m very interested.” you nod.
The man gave a crooked smile. “Perfect. I’ll see you tomorrow, kid.”
“I’m not-” The man walked away and inside a white limo car. Fuck you.
So you went the next day. Making sure you wore your normal clothes, just sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and your face mask, you called the guy.
Meeting him was uninteresting, conversations were nothing exciting, just asking you your fighting style, can you take on a big guy, and whatnot. 
Upon entering the place (behind a well known bar) you were led to a ring, two fighters going at it. You watched how one was clearly more experienced than the other, while the other guy was battered and bleeding but still fighting. Blood spraying everywhere with every hit until he hit the ground cold.
It certainly is a sight.
It was that very day that you had your very first fight.
Stepping into the ring with no prep, no bandages, no helmet, nothing, this was a raw fight through and through, you were immediately booed and laughed at. Tough crowd.
Of course you were not going against a stereotypical big muscular guy that looks like he could bench press a tank. No, in fact you were against a young military deserter as your first opponent. Scars and all. Across his neck laid an identification tag (also known as dog tag). Christopher Conner.
The man in front of you sneered, laughing at you. “No way they sent me a kid. I will break all your bones. Don’t start crying too soon.” he cooed.
He taunted you and the crowd loved it. You, on the other hand, were pretty bored and unimpressed. 
“I’m not a kid…” you huffed behind your face mask.
What was able to be seen on your face must have told him that because he didn’t like being ignored. 
So he swung, a clear hit to be a knock out. You swerve.
This time he kicked, you parried.
He did not like that. Soon a game ensued. Hit attacking and you either blocking or dodging. You didn’t even need your spider sense, you got this in the bag, honestly this was quite sad. The crowd went from booing you to insulting Christopher.
“What the fuck man?!”
“Hit the kid!”
“My money’s riding on you dickface!”
“Don’t you dare lose motherfucker, or I’ll shoot you!”
It seems their insults were getting to the man. You on the other hand kinda started to feel bad.
“Stand still you fucker!” Christopher growled, throwing punches.
You scoffed, “My aunt throws faster punches than you Chris.” You can almost taste the bloodlust seeping from his pores. “Hey man, it's been three minutes, surely you can end this, right?”
Chris’s jaw clenched in anger. He was about to explode. A voice called out your name.
“Nada! Stop wasting time and finish it kid. Or you won’t get paid.” What? What a scam! You’re trying to entertain yourself too y’know, guess this will be a way to relieve stress.
Facing the military man you didn’t give him a second to process when you blew him a kiss and then a fist made contact with his chin, effectively knocking him out the second his back hit the ring walls. “I’m not a kid.”
The crowd was silent before chaos broke. Half the crowd booed and threatened the fallen man, while the other half started cheering.
With how unsatisfied most people were, you had to fight three more times. Each time, you won, with no scratches on you (you did pretend to get hit at times for realism). Each victory secures you cheers and hype.
By the end of your last fight, it was dark out and you were walked off by the same man that brought you here. “Good job kid. I know you were the right call.”
“I’m not-” A thick envelope was thrown. Catching it, you opened it up to find money, lots of money. “Woah.”
The man in the suit chuckled. “Like it? You can make more the more you win.”
Still entrance by the stack of green you nodded. “Same time tomorrow?”
“Same time.” The man walked off and you stared at the money.
“Booyah baby!”
You bought a phone the next morning.
And so it’s been five days since then. You weren’t in a desperate need for money anymore, so you cut your fights down from five to two a day. You still needed time to continue fixing your beacon. Spider-woman sightings have also significantly decreased the more you noticed the increase in security.
You were not taking any chances.
Walking towards the somewhat empty bar, you greeted the bouncer and headed inside to an ‘employees only’ door to meet the guy in the suit. He did tell you his name, but you call him ‘Suit’ in your head regardless. 
“Hey there Nada,” He hears a sigh from behind the mask. “Listen, kid, you’re one of my best fighters, but I need you to lay low for a while. Here.”
Catching a burner phone you tilt your head for an explanation, pocketing it. “Cops?”
“Worse.” he sighs, slicking his hair back. “Bats.”
Fucking spider luck.
Like a bucket of ice and cold water was dumped on you, blood turning cold. You froze in terror. You should have guessed that a hidden fighting ring would not be kept hidden for long. The criminals that you fought and were downright nasty, you made sure they were caught outside and far away from this location. 
And it was random from a list you composed. Enough to make sure you weren’t a suspect. But fuck now you have to erase your presense here. You’re a nobody, Nada, nothing. Guess it really is time to lay lower than low, like a ghost. “I won’t come back then.” Voice serious and cold.
He laughed, pulling out an envelope from his suit's inner pocket. “S’that so?” Handing it out for you to take, his eyes burn into yours. “Then I’ll just have ta hunt you down, kid.”
Taking the envelope (it felt thicker and heavier than usual) and placing it in your pocket you chuckled, cold, fake, calculating. “Try. I’m good at hiding.” Walking away, hands in pocket, feeling both the envelope and the burner phone, turning your body to avoid bumping into a familiar guy speed walking in. “I’m not a kid…” you mumbled to yourself.
You didn’t bother glancing at the man you dubbed ‘Suit’, real name Jacob Sullivan Jones. It seems it’s time for JSJ to have a run in with the Gotham City Police Department. 
It is truly fortunate that Jacob doesn’t know where you're staying. Although he might not know about the warehouse inside the junkyard, he does know you are not a resident with no permanent home. He had stalked you for a bit after the first meeting (the bouncer was so easy to spot really), believing you’re homeless, alone, and a nobody (someone who nobody would miss or look for). You’re using that (somewhat of a mis)information to your advantage.
Leaving the desolate bar, thoughts consumed by the written list of criminals you drafted and plan to anonymously give it to the GCPD. How you got the other criminals caught was simple, you always used a payphone and gave anonymous tips. That won’t work here. At least not fully. Knowing the corruption, maybe you should hand it to the one of the cops you know isn’t corrupt.
Now, do you hack the police and email it? Print it/fax it and send it? Or hand it directly but as spider-woman? Well for starters, the second option is garbage because if the right person doesn’t see it first, it will just get covered up. Hacking into the GCPD and emailing it directly doesn’t sound like a bad idea, the only issue is, if they decided to forward that information to the bats, you’re fucked because then you know they’ll dig in and somehow find out about you.
It seems like going in as Spider-woman is the best bet, but then again, the bats are real close, too close for comfort. Should you take the risk? But if you don’t turn these criminals in, it will stay in your consciousness of letting innocents down. Guess you have to suck it up and do it then.
“This sucks” you mumbled, deep in thought. 
Suddenly you felt your body freeze. Feeling your spider sense go haywire, you looked up and hard swerved to the side, avoiding bumping into a stranger.
It seemed that your sudden change in direction caught the stranger’s attention and the person next to him, both heads snapped towards you.
Hands out of pocket awkwardly waving in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry!” Taking a look at the one you almost bumped into, he is tall, with black hair and vibrant blue eyes.
Taking note of your embarrassment the stranger chuckles, looking into your eyes, “No worries! Nice reflexes though!”
The stranger’s partner scowled in your direction and you could feel his eyes burning you alive. “Watch where you walk, you buffoon.” Venom.
“Don’t be rude, Dame.”
“Don’t call me that. We don’t have time for this tomfoolery.”
Alrighty then, guess it’s time to fuck off. “Yes, thank you- again, so sorry.” You don’t even spare the other guy a glance, quickly scurrying off. Your spider sense hasn’t shut off and you don’t like where this is going. “Good bye.”
“Hey wait a minute!”
“What are you doing Kent? Our priority is there.”
Not turning back, you quickened to a brisk walk away from this nauseating area. This whole goddamn experience is so nauseating. You just wanted to go home. Was that soooooo much to ask? Regardless, you did not want to know what those strangers wanted, and you were taught ‘stranger danger’ and it certainly applied here.
After a certain distance later, your senses dulled into a small buzz as you turned a corner and entered the public library. Taking your usual empty seat, you let out a deep sigh. This was what you were used to since coming into this world. Since being yoinked from another dimension and plopped in this universe, your senses never really shut off. It was like everything in this world was a danger, and it only spiked when reacting to blood lust, danger of a certain radius, and people who are incredibly strong. 
Recalling that one stranger, who looked too innocent enough for it to be bloodlust, just that their presence caught you so off guard. But your senses screamed at you, and it terrified you to an extent. This is why you can never really relax being here, even when you’re alone in the warehouse, you just feel so out of place, and in danger constantly. It was beginning to eat you up honestly.
You miss your innocent youthful days. God you sound old. But you really do miss having a home to go back to. A home where once you step inside, it’s warm, and two people would always greet you like a warm embrace.
Now it’s cold and desolate, barely anything inside, empty and lonely.
But now, you can’t even go there anymore. Even if it was painful to live in the same home that had more members, then reduced to just you, it was still home. 
You can’t even go home.
Remembering the words Jacob Sullivan Jones spoke to you earlier, you fish out the envelope. Taking note of the weight, it was decided to open it and find more than usual.
Picking up a small zip-lock bag, your eyes widened. It was an ID, an ID and a passport. Just what the fuck was Jacob going to do with giving you this? Why did he make this for you? What were his plans? No, you can’t think about that. This is a blessing for sure, and you’ll take it- but, you have to put Jacob in prison. Now.
This is a gift and you know that with criminals, all gifts are never for free. This is a ‘you owe me’ gift. “Fuck, this sucks.” You just want a moment of peace.
Think, you have to think. Now you have an identification, but, you don’t know if you’re in the system, since once again, incase you forgot, you don’t fucking exist here. Whatever Jacob was thinking, you definitely don’t want a part of it. You’re going to put a stop to this now.
Though, recalling the two strangers earlier, you don’t bother with the rude one of the two, more focused on the one with blue eyes. Something about him just stuck out to you. He looked vaguely familiar.
Okay, let’s take this from the top. You felt a strong sense of precaution, thus causing your spider sense to alert you. Your sense only went away when you were a considerable distance away from those two, so you know it’s about the strangers. Bases covered, perfect. What’s next?
 You only really focused on the one who you almost touched, so let’s continue from there. He is tall, a welldefine body, black hair, and vibrant blue eyes. That’s all you remember seeing now for what you heard. His friend/partner/acquaintance/fellow party member said ‘Kent’, this could be his name or surname but the name ‘Kent’ makes your throat clogged. You only know of another Kent and it’s a superhero.
It couldn’t be…right? 
Turning the computer on, you started typing away, fingers trembling, heart thumping loudly, head spinning, and body sweating. Please, please, please, be wrong. You prayed.
The window search lands on a somewhat recent news. Superman and Superboy save hundreds during bridge collapse! By Lois Lane Kent.
In the photo, on the front page was a scene, both Superman and Superboy. The older one was holding a piece of a bridge while the other younger one was using his heat vision. This was Superman’s son. And you came into contact with him.
You were royally fucking screwed.
Fuck- fuck! No, no nono! 
All the anxiety you tried to lock away came like a tsunami. You were reminded of how small you are in this world. How easy it is to find trouble even without looking. You wanted no part in this world but it seems the gods wanted to fuck you over and over again. 
And, as much as you wanted to curse out the Spot for yeeting you far faaaaaaar from your universe, you only blame yourself for latching onto him and getting lost on the way to his next destination.
God this sucks! You wanted to curl up and cry, but you can’t. You’re a big girl and so, you’ll deal with this fuckery later. After all, your best trait was putting your issues to the side and focusing on the bigger picture. This- meeting Superman’s son can wait. After all, you haven’t run into any bats besides Signal- yes you researched him when you had free time (you only knew of him but not really who he was), so for now, your spider luck has been blessing you thus far.
You need to focus on the bigger picture, getting Jacob and the other criminals caught.
Getting to work, you begin to type away your list that you memorized, the location of the bar, the owner of the bar was still a mystery but the one who runs it is Jacob, schedule of the bouncer shifts, and the names and alias of those who you encountered as well as the situation of misguided teens. You type it all, making sure to keep your real and fake identity out, you did put in your alias Nada, as a picked up street kid. Enough for it to be a ‘misguided’ teen situation but not enough to catch someone’s attention unless they were looking for it.
Now that you know you ran into Clark Kent’s son (a deduction), you know you can’t risk encountering him as spider-woman. Knowing that Superman can (somehow) memorize and identify someone based on their heart beat or whatever, so fuck no are you going to parade as spider-woman any time soon.
You swear to god that you will do everything you can to avoid meeting them in both their civilian personas and alter egos.
Calming yourself, you get ready to hack the GCPD, and leave a message.
‘They know. Scatter.’ 
It hits you. The epiphany of why Jacob had an ID and passport made for you. They were moving locations. Abandoning fort, and taking anyone who they wanted. Basically a trafficking ring for those who weren’t onboard, and a new opportunity for those who they saw potential in. 
Shit, you should have stopped this when Jacob found you, but you didn’t know anything then. Now it could be too late. But Jacob did say to lay low, so they’re mostly biding their time. Probably erasing, hiding, and misplacing real and fake evidence.
They need to get exposed now, ‘strike while the iron is hot’ as the saying goes. 
It seems like it’s time to meet the commissioner of the Gotham City Police Department, James “Jim” Gordon, as Spider-woman. How fun… 
Way to contratic your fucking promise so soon. Well, at least it’s a civilian and not a hero/vigilante. “This fucking sucks.”
-
Damian scoffed when Tim wanted to force his father the Batman into his lead. It’s not that he doesn’t want his father, it’s just this is an undercover sort of situation. He got a lead when he went to interrogate a pathetic military criminal. He can handle this mission on his own.
“No, I think it’s best you go with-”
“I am fully capable of handling it myself just fine. I don’t require father’s assistance.” Damian heard Jon chuckle, most likely overhearing this conversation with his super hearing. What a nuisance.  “I’m here with Kent, we’re fine Drake.” And the line was turned off.
“Well that was something. So, what’s the plan that you didn’t want Lizzie to be involved in?”
“Focus, Jon.” Damian explained their stakeout first, before going to don their costumes. Deep in their conversation, Damian caught sight of one of the suspects speed walking past them. He brings this to Jon’s attention. “It's him, the mercenary Christopher Conner.”
“Okay, so this bar is the place. Let me check real quick.” Using his vision, Jon’s eyebrow furrows. “Next door is styled like a wrestling ring, only two exits. From here and from an office. This is the place.”
“Then we’ll change and apprehend the criminal. Watch and hear what he is saying.” Jon followed Damian’s lead when someone jumped out of his way like he was burning them, causing Damian to also turn his head.
“I’m so sorry!” Despite the mask covering their mouth, their voice of this buffoon sounded androgynous, their clothes didn’t help to differentiate a gender either. But what he can see were this stranger’s eyes, and he can’t look away.
It seems neither can Jon as he chuckles and waves off the encounter. “No worries! Nice reflexes though!” Jon makes it very obvious he’s staring hard.
Just what is it about this total insignificant stranger that caught Damian’s undivided attention? From what he can see, they look normal (can’t really tell with that face mask though), but there is just something that has him unable to take his eyes off of them.
Jon has the same issue, and Damian narrowed his eyes in suspicion and scowls. “Watch where you walk, you buffoon.” 
Jon, without breaking eye contact, scolds Damina. “Don’t be rude, Dame.”
Snapping out of this trance, he snaps back,” Don’t call me that.” That’s right, they are on a mission, no distractions allowed. “We don’t have time for this tomfoolery.”
Jon looks at Damian, as he too, regains his focus, eyes staring into each other as if communicating, he nods. They can come back to this after they finish their assignment. 
“Yes, thank you- again, so sorry. Good bye.” The stranger quickly scurried off.
Caught off guard Jon impulsively extended his arm out to grab their shoulder. “Hey wait a minute!” 
Damian acted faster, grabbing Jon’s arm. “What are you doing Kent? Our priority is there.” Pointing towards the bar with his head. This isn’t good, they’re getting sidetracked.
Jon didn’t turn to look at Damian, no he was still staring at the stranger. “I just wanted to ask…” He trailed off as he strained his ears, focusing on their heartbeat, their breathing patterns, anything he could to commit to memory. “For their name.”
Damian, too, side glanced at the retreating figure, dissecting the way they moved, their tensed shoulders, everything until they were out of sight.
Jon wanted to ask their name. Was that weird? Their situation didn’t require him to ask their name. How would he even go about it, ‘Sorry for almost bumping into you, hey can I ask for your name?’ Yea, no.
“Damian, I-” Jon began before getting caught off.
“I know. We’ll deal with that later,” His eyes narrow, glancing at the bar. “Focus.” But he too was entranced. But he was much better at pushing that to the side, but he knows he won’t be able to hold it off for now. The best he can do is rein in Jon’s attention to the assignment.
Moving to a cafe nearby with a good view of the bar’s entrance, they ordered some drinks. This wasn’t Damians idea but he’ll let Jon have his way for cooperating.
Jon nodded, getting back into focus, using his super hearing to overhear the conversation inside the bar.
His stomach tingles at the thought of asking the stranger for their name.
Hand discreetly on his year Damian spoke, “Drake, look into the time of now and send it over to me.”
“Hey- wait-” Tim was caught off guard, “What’s this about? I thought you didn’t ‘require assistance’ for this.” He teased. 
“I don’t.” He shut the comms off. Now, back to work. “What’s going on Jon?”
“This is our guy. He’s getting assigned to deliver a package. This is serious. He’s upset.”
Damian clicked his tongue. “Tt. Follow.”
Jon tunes into the conversation again.
“The police aren’t the issue. It’s the costumes that have been spotted close. We already lost a couple of our men to the cops.”
“And you don’t think that’s suspicious? We have a traitor!”
“You don’t think I don’t know that, Chris? Ever since Sebastian was caught by the fucking commissioner, the others have been getting caught like flies here in Gotham. He’s spilling, so I need to silence him.” 
“The usual?”
“No, not you this time. We’re leaving so I need you to focus on one more thing.”
“Is it about them, the one you want to recruit?”
“Yes, I want them-” a phone rang interrupting the conversation. “It’s the boss. Dismissed, I’ll send ya the rest later.”
“Understood sir. I’ll deliver the packages tonight.” The mercenary walked off, no longer as upset as earlier.
Jon, processing the information, becomes visibly upset. “They’re recruiting, and based on the conversation, it's the runaway and homeless teens that have been reported by the shelters. This is bigger than just Gotham. I think they’re leaving, moving somewhere else.”
“Let’s follow.” Damian’s attention was caught at the mercenary leaving the bar. “There.”
“The guy he was talking to said he would ‘send the rest later’, I think it will be on his phone.” Jon informed.
Damian absorbed the information. “We’ll follow and catch him red handed.”
“What about ‘the package’?” Jon questioned.
“What about them? I’ll forward the intel to the rest. We focus on this guy. The evidence on his phone is all we need.”
“Dame, I can’t with good conscience leave those vulnerable kids on their own.” Stressed Jon.
“And we’re not. The others will take care of it.” Damian replied. “When we apprehend the mercenary, acquire the intel, we go after this guy while the others detain their accomplices and rescue the runaways. They will all fall tonight, Jon, so focus.”
Jonathan Kent wanted to bite back, but he knows Damian ran this plan at least three times before bringing him along. Damian is just that strategic. And he places his full trust in him, god does this leave him unsatisfied. He knows those kids are trapped somewhere and if taking this mercenary and the manager from the bar out gets them safe faster, then he will do as he is told.
Something just feels out of place, this has been too easy so far. “Alright, he’s heading north.”
Damian nods, slipping away to change into his suit.
As if connected, Damian as well feels like things have been progressing smoothly. And when it comes to crimes committed in Gotham, when things are going good, then something isn’t right.
Ever since the first the GCPD have been arresting some low and decent levels of this new crime syndicate, news of some human trafficking organizations have been slowly getting uncovered as if by overnight. It started around five days ago, low level members were caught, and just two days ago, a higher member was arrested.
Ever since his father the Batman (he tagged along) interrogated him, he spilled like a waterfall. Since they have been cracking down on the case, they know this criminal organization is trying to get on the levels of Black Mask or The Penguin.
The only issue is, this was only exclusive to Gotham, now based on what Jon relay to him, this is just a small base, there are others. He refuses to let this go on any further. Not to his city, or his people. Yet, there is this itch in the back of his head. These captures were by far too easy, and these people aren’t sloppy. No, they had been operating for some time, and yet they were getting caught like moths to a flame due to anonymous tips being called in. Someone out there is deliberately getting these scumbags caught.
And Batman believes it could possibly have a connection to the other pressing issue that’s consuming his thought. There has to be a connection to the quantum disturbance from a little over a week ago. It’s just too coincidental for it not to be. 
Something is happening in Gotham, and he will get to the bottom of this.
-
You know, people say to plan for everything, thus making Batman a force to be reckoned with since he is the master of having contingency plans and backup plans for those backup plans. And yet, here you are, with a plan and life just wants to fuck you over and expects you to just deal with it.
No.
After coming up with spider-woman handing the commissioner Jim Gordon a list of criminals and misguided teens, you just needed to go and change. But here you are, running into a situation if you will. 
You see, after running away from Superman's son, and a printed list folded neatly in your pocket as you head ‘home’, you started to feel the icky sensation of being watched. Years of experience and knowing how not to tip off that you know, you head away from your place of operations and head up north. 
Though despite not giving signs of how utterly fucking tense and anxious you are, you rationalize that it can not be any of the birds because you haven’t done anything suspicious. That, and the fact that your spider sense isn’t screaming at you of danger so for now, that’s calming you down.
On the other hand, you still have no clue who is following you. It was like, thirty minutes since running into the super, and no call from the burner phone. This whole ‘being followed’ is a fucking nuisance, putting a wrench in your plans. 
The only good thing is that, since you are technically surrounded by civilians walking about, they can’t really do anything to you, unless they want to cause panic amongst the innocents. Though, that wouldn’t stop someone from shooting you if they wanted you dead. 
Still, regardless if you are wanted dead (highly unlikely) or alive (for whatever reason) you don’t want to lead innocent civilians into this, so away you go! Informing Jim Gordon can wait (not it can’t), you’ll lose your pursuer and then catch them!
Turning a corner, into alleyways, zig zagging, you hear their footsteps pick up. Persistent.
While running away, you form theories. We crossed out the batsonas, you haven’t done or got caught with anything to be on their radar afterall, it can’t be a random crook because for one, you look poor too, and second, they’re chasing you for a reason. Another idea was maybe it has something to do with Jacob. But that doesn’t make much sense since you just got a burner phone. 
Something just isn’t adding up. 
Your spider sense spiked as you turned down a corner. Despite this, you kept going straight, ready to take on whoever was going to appear in front of you. 
With a very good distance between you and your pursuer you took this chance to discard your mask and sweatshirt (thank god for having a tank top) ontop of a parked motorcycle as you turned another corner, there stood a man near the end of the alleyway, tall and (once again) wellbuilt, with black hair just standing there, phone in hand.
Quickly you jogged towards him (he glanced your way) and grabbed his arm, startling him. “Sorry, please play along!” you whispered and pulled him.
The stranger only had one second to figure out what was happening. In that split second though, he heard a plea for help. The next thing he knew, he had his free hand on the wall above your head while the other one was moved to your waist. Back towards the wall and having his big frame engulf yours, you let his arm go and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him towards your face. 
It's only then that you take in his appearance, handsome from what you can see, and your heart dropped. “I’m being followed,” you muttered, noticing the stranger’s eyes roam your face before settling on your eyes. “I don’t know who they are.”
The man in front of you nodded, kept in place as footsteps hastily turned the corner, running past the both of you. Your body tensed up watching the hooded figure stop at the end of the alleyway. Taking the chance to observe the guy, he pulled out a phone while looking both ways before exiting from your view.
While you were distracted the stranger in front of you pulled back, making your release your hold. He was quiet. “Once again, I’m so sorry! Thank you!” You nervously backed away, in the opposite direction your pursuer went.
He grunted, watching you walk back away. He opened his mouth to speak but the phone in his hand began to ring. He glanced down at the caller before looking back up. 
You were already gone, picking up your sweatshirt and mask, donning them on and running away. Your heart was pounding so loud, it rang in your ear. That was Jason mother fucking Todd. You ran into the Red Hood. What the fuck was he doing in the Narrows?!
Recalling the words Jacob spoke earlier, it echoed through your head. ‘Bats.’ That’s right. The fucking bats are intown, and this was too close for comfort. This sucks balls!
“Focus, focus. Officer Gordon, here I come.” To the junkyard you go.
-
Jason watched the very pretty woman leave him with his thoughts. Getting pulled into caging someone against a back alley wall was not in his cards today, but with Gotham, one always has to expect the unexpected. 
Speaking of the unexpected, he let himself momentarily get distracted recalling the bold stranger from earlier. Something about this woman, rendered him quiet. But at the same time, he took note of just how anxious she was. Tensed body, eyebrows furrowed, worried expression, scared eyes, and over all the way she held onto him while losing her pursuer. He wondered just what kind of trouble found her. It seems crime really doesn’t stop during the daylight.
He committed her face to memory, and will touch upon her situation once he finished his current assignment. 
“You still there?” the voice spoke from his phone.
“Yea, I’m still here. I’m in the Narrows, following the lead.”
“Good, while Damian follows the mercenary, you got the manager. I’m seeing some suspicious moments. Turn on your commlink, Bruce is already moody as he is.”
“When isn’t he like that.” Jason rolled his eyes as he walked back to his bike that he parked further in the alley. Before taking off, he glanced in the direction the stranger went. Her actions and the sound of her voice repeated inside his mind like an echo, burning itself in his memory.
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Prev; Next;
I realized everything I wanted for this chapter did not happen. So now it's split into two parts- oops. Side note, this will not be a yandere series, though I do think they get 'possessive' sure, not yandere though. I finally know how I am going to end the Act, the issue is the in between that I struggle with.
Yay, you met Jon and Jason. Next up are Cass, Steph, Dick, and Tim the only ones left.
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Web Bound Secret Corner!
Spider-Woman had an eidetic memory.
Spider-Woman does not know about the trafficked kids.
Spider-Woman did not notice Damian.
If Spider-Woman had to choose between saving a life and going home, she'd save the life.
Spider-Woman's is bad at grieving and worse with failure.
351 notes · View notes
xoluvx · 6 months ago
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billie's hidden folder pt. 2
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𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, pt. 1
Let's recap. Billie has a hidden secret folder on her phone. A folder so secret she had to stop letting people use her phone because the last time she forgot to put a very explicit video of the two of you in said folder and she made that person swear they would never bring it up. Ever.
Thankfully that person kept their promise, but it also made Billie paranoid. She triple checked her phone was locked, especially when you were exchanging texts while she was working. In particular, texts where you'd unexpectedly sent her an explicit selfie ... or two.
Her breath hitched as she stared at the photos. The first one was of the lower half of your body, sweats hanging low. Thong clinging for dear life, hugging your hips so perfectly. She turned her head to make sure no one was around, not suspicious at all, then she scrolled to see the next one. This one of your cleavage, phone angled high so your eyes bore into hers and your lips sent her a kiss. Yeah, that was going in the folder.
𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎'𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛
Video: "Do you like it?" you could hear Billie's voice in the video, but the phone laid flat on her bed and all you could see was the ceiling. It didn't take long for her to come into view. She forgot she was recording. She'd missed the most important part. She was just too excited.
The video was meant to capture your reaction to her gift. A pretty transparent pink dildo.
"Pretty," you grinned as you came into view. Billie's mischievous laugh was audible. She handed you the toy; you held it in your hands stroking it like a cat on your lap. "What am I suppose to do with this?" you asked playfully and Billie scoffed.
This time, she plopped onto the bed next to you, the two of you in frame now. "Oh, I've seen what you can do with that," she smirked biting her lip ever so slightly watching you through the screen. You turned to her, hand on her jaw turning her face towards yours. Billie growled leaning her lips closer to your lips, but you pulled away slightly, hand still on her jaw.
"I want to see what you can do with it," you whispered feeling the heat between your legs. You let her kiss you after that comment. She kissed you hard, still in frame. When she gasped for air, you moved your hand from her jaw to the nape of her neck pulling gently at her hair.
"Are you gonna show me?" you cooed bringing your lips to her neck. Your tongue ran up her throat, where you could feel her swallowing. Her lids fluttered and she nodded, caving.
We'll come back to that video later. Let's talk about the texts. The texts were so dirty, she had to delete them. But not before taking a quick screenshot and saving it to the folder.
Text: i miss you. wanna be home already. i'm waiting for you. i'm bored. what are you wearing? you perv. i need to imagine it. ur fucking me in ur head? i'll fuck u irl. how? strap? or tongue. both. ur gonna make me cum. only if you beg. u want me to shout ur name. while i pull your hair and u cum on my tongue. are you touching yourself? are you thinking of me?
Photo: You went skinny dipping and Billie had the proof. Of course she was going to capture it. The picture was only of the back of you; your arms were raised and your butt fully exposed to the camera. Once she'd taken the photo she tossed the phone near her own clothes and laughed pulling you towards the water.
You both fell into the pool with a loud splash and you giggled coming up from the water. Her hair clung to her face and you swum towards her pulling the sticky strands of hair back. Her smile was big as she held your hips.
You wrapped your arms her shoulders pulling her in for a kiss. It was gentle, wet, and cold but oh so sweet. You held your bodies close, her arms weaved around your back, one hand trailing down to your ass before giving it a firm squeeze you smiled into the kiss before pulling away and playfully swimming away.
Billie followed. You saw her pretty ass hauling out of the water and you tilted your head. She returned with her phone shivering.
Video: She held the phone above your heads. You held on to her shoulders smiling at the camera. You could hardly see your naked bodies in the dim pool lights, but you could see you were both clearly naked. Billie pulled away turning the camera to you. She stepped back a little to show half of your body.
"You look so hot," she groaned.
She brought her hand to grab your tit and you moaned. The sensation of her cold hand, the cold water, and your throbbing pussy made you weak. She pinched your nipple softly.
Now let's come back to that video. The one you all want to know about.
Video: Billie laid in bed. She watched the camera carefully holding up the dildo. Playfully she licked it before wiggling it around causing you to giggle a little.
"Stop playing, Eilish. Show me what you can do with it," you demanded. Billie pulled down her pants, you angled the camera so you could see her pretty lacy thong. She ran the dildo along her thigh. She was doing it on purpose. She wanted to make you squirm and she wished the camera could see how desperate you looked.
A hand reached into view, your hand. You ran a finger up the fabric that covered her pussy. She was seeping though the fabric.
"Do you need my help?" your voice was low and the camera shook as you held the phone shakily.
"No," Billie replied in a similar tone before making the dildo disappear between her legs.
"Fuck," you hummed. You wanted to stop recording because you wanted to help her, but you were so captivated by the way her hand moved steadily and the way the translucent toy glided in her pussy.
That wasn't the only dildo the two of you had. And definitely not the only time they were captured on camera, but that's a story for another time.
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everyone thank billie for her contribution
𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎'𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟹?
pt.3
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ham1lton · 11 days ago
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AFTER LAST NIGHT (I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU).
episode two of ham1lton’s kinktober fest.
— pairings: george russell x reader.
— summary: your vampire roommate is perfect in every way. he's clean, respectful, pays his portion of rent on time, and.... has a crush on you?
— cw: bath sex/handjob, mention of licking tears, biting!!! this is a vamp sex fic. this is acc very tame lmao.
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AITA for thinking my vampire roommate has a crush on me because he’s acting weird?
posted by user728338
so this sounds ridiculous, which is why i posted this on my throwaway acc, but please bear with me. i (23F) have a roommate (26M) who’s… well, a vampire. yes, a literal vampire. before you ask, it’s really not as dramatic as it sounds. he’s actually perfect in pretty much every way—he’s super clean, respectful, quiet, never has people over, pays his rent on time, and never leaves a mess. honestly, having a vampire as a roommate has been way easier than i thought it would be.
but lately, he’s been acting kinda… weird. at first, i thought maybe it was just vampire stuff? like maybe he’s going through some undead mood swings or whatever. but now, i’m starting to think it’s something else. he’s started being extra nice to me, like… too nice. offering to do things for me, complimenting me more than usual, staring at me for just a little longer than what’s socially acceptable.
he also gets super awkward whenever i bring up my dating life. like, i casually mentioned going on a date, and he kinda froze up and changed the subject immediately. it’s really unlike him. i feel like he’s avoiding me sometimes, too. he’ll leave the room quickly if i get too close, and he’s gotten all stiff when we’re watching a movie together like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.
i don’t know—am i being paranoid, or does it sound like he might have a crush on me? i feel like this whole ‘vampire crush on a human’ thing is just… cliché (like okayyyy tvd), but he’s been so different lately. i want to bring it up, but i also really don’t want to make things awkward if i’m wrong. he’s been a great roommate, and i don’t want to mess that up.
AITA for thinking my vampire roommate might have feelings for me?
view all comments.
randolando: dude don’t worry about it. vampires get weird about crushes. i used to know this hot vamp chick and i totally knew she had a crush on me when she brought me back to her cave and tried to stop my heart. weird but romantic. knowing him, he’s just trying to figure out a way to ask you out without making it awkward. we know how crushes are a pain in the neck. you get it? 🤣
chachaslide: this is sweet. i love seeing true love. i hope you like him back but no pressure. it sounds like he really likes you and isn’t sure how to handle it. if you like him too just be gentle and maybe talk to him about the situation? he could just be scared to ruin what you both have. if you don’t like him, that’s fine! just reassure him that you’re cool being roommates. communication is key!! hope it goes well.
maxattack: KILL HIM NOW. i don't care how 'nice' or ‘perfect' he seemingly is. he’s a vampire, and you're a walking snack. don’t let the politeness fool you. the second you let your guard down, you're done. get out now, stake through the heart, burn the body, and never look back. you don't want to be his next midnight snack. i know from experience.
alexxxxx123: omg. i think i know who you’re talking about. tall, pale, british and his name begins with g? if it’s him, it’s totally harmless.
— user728338: pm me.
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after a long day at work, you step into the london flat quietly, the soft click of the door barely making a sound. as you take off your shoes, you hear george’s voice coming from the living room. it’s low, but unmistakable—calm, precise, and, of course, very posh. curiosity gets the better of you, and you hover just outside the door, listening.
“yes, alex, i know. it’s rather… frustrating, to say the least,” george says, his tone clipped but controlled. “i mean, she’s right here, every day, and yet i can’t seem to gather the courage to—well, you know… express myself.”
there’s a pause, and you feel your heart skip a beat. he’s talking about you. you press yourself closer to the wall, careful not to make a sound, your pulse racing as you listen in.
“oh, of course, i’ve thought about it,” george continues, his voice lowering slightly, almost conspiratorial. “but what if she doesn’t feel the same? what if i ruin everything? she’s… well, she’s stunning, isn’t she? and don’t get me started on how she looks when she—”
he stops himself, clears his throat, and you hear him shift uncomfortably. oh. you feel your cheeks heat up, realising just how close you’ve come to hearing something you probably shouldn’t.
“no, no, it’s nothing improper,” george quickly adds, as if reassuring alex on the other end of the line—and maybe himself too. “you know i’m not that sort of man. it’s just that… i find myself distracted. the way she smiles, the way she moves about the flat, even the smallest things. it’s maddening. i can’t keep my thoughts straight, let alone have a proper conversation with her. it’s utterly ridiculous.”
you bite your lip, your mind racing. george, the prim and proper vampire, with his immaculate manners and his pristine way of speaking… has a crush on you? it almost seems too surreal and you come to the sudden realisation that you were right.
“yes, well,” george continues, a hint of exasperation in his voice, “i don’t think it’s quite appropriate to be so forward with her. she’s human, alex. it’s not as simple as just… declaring one’s affections and hoping for the best. besides, there’s… certain temptations that come with my, shall we say, condition.”
another pause, and you can almost hear the shock in george’s voice as he says, “no, not that sort of temptation. for heaven’s sake, alex, you’re incorrigible.”
you stifle a giggle, feeling a strange mixture of amusement and flattery. george’s usually calm, composed demeanour was cracking, all because of you. and yet, even as he’s talking about his attraction, he’s still so… proper.
“it’s just… difficult, alex,” george continues, his voice softening, as if he’s letting his guard down. “i’ve never been one to get flustered, you know that. but with her, it’s different. every time i try to be casual, i end up stumbling over my words like a schoolboy. i haven’t been one of those since my eton days in 1678.”
he sighs, and you hear the creak of the chair as he shifts. “i’ve considered telling her, of course, but what if she doesn’t feel the same? or worse, what if i… lose control? it’s not like i can just—”
just then, george turns his head, catching sight of you in the reflection of the mirror by the door. his eyes widen, and he freezes, his face going pale as a statue. which means, he’s even paler than usual.
“alex, i have to go,” he says quickly, cutting the call without another word.
you stand there, awkwardly rooted to the spot, trying to process what just happened. george stares at you for a long, agonising second, his usually calm, collected features twisted in a mix of embarrassment and something close to panic. he opens his mouth to say something, then promptly closes it again. without another word, he vanishes from the room, moving so fast that you barely catch the sound of the door shutting behind him.
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the flat feels strangely empty after that. days pass, and george doesn’t return. there’s no note, no message, nothing to explain his absence, and a strange loneliness settles over the place. as much as you tried to shake off the awkwardness of overhearing him, you couldn’t stop thinking about his voice, his words, and how he’d sounded so flustered and so human in that moment.
then, one evening, after a long day, you decide to run yourself a bath. the water is warm, the bubbles thick, and you sink into it, trying to relax, but your thoughts keep drifting back to george. you wonder where he is, if he’s okay, and if he’ll ever come back. mostly because out of genuine care but also, you could never pay the rent alone. it’s london.
just as you’re about to close your eyes, there’s a soft knock on the bathroom door. you sit up, startled.
“it’s me,” george’s voice comes through the door, quiet, hesitant. “i… well, i need to apologise.”
you blink, glancing down at yourself submerged in the bath, and then at the door. “george?” you call out, feeling a mix of surprise and curiosity. “where have you been?”
there’s a pause before he responds, his voice tight with embarrassment. “away. i… needed some time to gather my thoughts. but i can’t stay away any longer. i behaved incredibly poorly, and i’m sorry. i didn’t mean for you to overhear that conversation.”
“you’ve been avoiding me for days,” you say softly, the warmth of the bath soothing but not enough to ease the tension in the air. “it’s fine, george. really.”
“no,” he insists, his voice a little firmer now. “it’s not fine. i’ve been disrespectful, and that’s not who i am. it’s not reflective of how i want to act. i should have… handled it better.” there’s a long pause, and you can hear the discomfort in his tone when he adds, “i’ll… wait outside until you’re decent. i’d never want to intrude on your privacy.”
you bite back a smile. even now, he’s still so proper, refusing to even acknowledge that you’re in the bath.
“george, it’s okay,” you say, a little amused. “you can come in. just… don’t look.”
there’s another pause, and you hear him take a deep breath. then, slowly, the door creaks open, and george steps in, his eyes firmly fixed on the floor. he looks so shy, and he looks entirely out of place standing in the middle of your ensuite bathroom, but he keeps his gaze respectfully averted.
“i… i didn’t mean for things to get so awkward,” he begins, his voice tight with formality. “i’ve made things uncomfortable for you, and for that, i’m deeply sorry.”
you can’t help but smile at his rigid posture, the way he stands there, still too embarrassed to even glance in your direction. “george, you didn’t do anything wrong. i… actually thought it was kind of… sweet. the way you talked about me.”
his head jerks slightly, and he clears his throat, clearly flustered. “yes, well… it wasn’t my finest moment, but… i meant every word.”
you feel your heart flutter at his admission, and despite the strange situation, you can’t help but find his gentlemanly awkwardness endearing.
“thank you for apologising,” you say softly. “and for being so… proper. i appreciate it.”
he finally glances up, just for a second, his eyes still carefully avoiding looking at you directly. “i may be many things,” he says quietly, “but a gentleman is one i’ll never fail to be. i… hope we can put this behind us.”
with a soft smile, you turn your head to the side, studying george’s posture, his stiff formality, his refusal to look at you even now. “but what if i don’t want to?” you ask, your voice quiet, teasing, but with an edge of something more—something curious.
his entire body tenses at your words, as if they’ve struck him harder than he expected. he clears his throat, his gaze still fixed on the floor, though you notice his hands twitch slightly at his sides. “i… i beg your pardon?” he stammers, the usual composure in his voice faltering.
you sit up a little in the bath, the water shifting around you as you keep your eyes on him. “what if i don’t want to put it behind us?” you repeat, more gently this time, testing the waters just as he had with his confession. “what if… i’ve been thinking about it too?”
george is silent for a long moment, his breath hitching just slightly as your words sink in. finally, he raises his head, his eyes locking onto yours, though he keeps them carefully above your shoulders. there’s a flicker of something—hope, maybe, or disbelief—dancing in his eyes. he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he struggles to find the right words.
“you… you’ve thought about it?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, as though he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
you nod, watching his reaction closely. “george, you’ve been nothing but a gentleman, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice… the way you look at me. the way you talk about me.” you pause, biting your lip slightly, the playful edge in your voice softening. “and… maybe I like it.”
“i… i never intended to make you uncomfortable,” he murmurs, his voice laced with sincerity. “but if… if you’ve truly thought about this, then… i can’t deny that i have, too. for longer than i care to admit.”
he glances away, his jaw tightening as though he’s fighting some internal battle, trying to balance his feelings with his unshakable need to maintain decorum. “but you must understand,” he continues, his voice tight, “this isn’t… simple. my nature complicates things. i’ve fought to keep these feelings in check because… i don’t want to put you at risk.”
you tilt your head, your eyes softening as you look at him, seeing the tension in his posture, the restraint he holds so tightly. “george, you’ve never made me feel anything but safe,” you murmur, your voice gentle. “even now.”
he stands by the door, rigid, torn between his desire and his code of conduct. his fingers flex at his sides as though he’s holding onto some invisible line that’s slowly fraying. “but what if… what if i can’t always control myself?” he whispers, as if he’s speaking more to himself than to you. “what if i fail?”
you meet his gaze steadily. “george, you have control. we’ve been living together a long time. if you didn’t, this would’ve gone differently a long time ago.”
he blinks, clearly taken aback by your confidence in him. you shift slightly in the bath, the warm water rippling around you as you lean forward. “come here,” you say, your tone soft but firm.
“i can’t,” he breathes, shaking his head slightly, his eyes flickering with hesitation. “you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“maybe i do,” you reply, your voice unwavering. “you said you’ve thought about this—about us. so have i. and the only thing standing between us right now is your fear that you’ll hurt me. but george… you won’t.”
he clenches his jaw, his eyes filled with conflict. you can see the way he’s holding himself back, the way he’s torn between what he wants and what he thinks is right. “you don’t understand the… the temptation,” he says, his voice strained. “being close to you… it’s not just about control.”
“i trust you,” you say firmly, holding his gaze. “and i’m asking you to trust yourself.”
he takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling as he battles with himself. finally, after what feels like an eternity, he takes a tentative step forward. then another. he’s still hesitant, but you can see the way his resolve is crumbling under the weight of his desire.
“come here,” you say again, more softly this time, reaching out a hand toward him. “george, i want you here. with me.”
he stops at the edge of the bath, his eyes dark and intense as they meet yours. “this… this isn’t appropriate,” he says, but his voice has lost its usual firmness. there’s a vulnerability there now, an uncertainty that you’ve never seen in him before.
“good news that appropriate isn’t what i’m asking for,” you say with a small smile, your fingers brushing lightly against his arm. “i’m asking for you.”
he swallows hard, his eyes flickering down to the water and back up to you, and for a moment, you think he might walk away again, retreat into that shell of formality he hides behind. but then, slowly, cautiously, he bends down, kneeling by the side of the bath. his hand hovers over yours for a moment, as if he’s still deciding whether or not to let himself go.
“just trust me,” you whisper, your eyes locking onto his, silently urging him to take that final step.
his fingers curl around yours, cool to the touch, and you feel the tension in his grip, the restraint he’s still holding onto. “you’re sure?” he murmurs, his voice low and almost reverent.
“i’ve never been more sure,” you reply, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. his skin cold under yours. “now, get in.”
he hesitates for only a moment longer before, with a deep breath, he slips off his jacket and unbuttons his shirt, still moving carefully, like he’s afraid of crossing a line he can’t uncross. lastly, he pulls his trousers down before he steps into the bath, the water lapping at his underwear, soaking them through, but he doesn’t seem to care. his gaze is fixed on you the entire time, intense and unwavering.
he sits down slowly, the warmth of the bath contrasting with his cool skin, his legs brushing against yours under the water. “i don’t want to… overstep,” he says softly, his voice low and serious, though his hand remains firmly in yours.
“you won’t.” you smile, as you crawl over to him. “if anything, i might do.”
“you could never.” he murmurs, looking into your eyes. “anything you would like to do to me would be my pleasure.”
“anything?”
“anything.”
he exhales slowly, his gaze lingering on your face as if trying to memorise every detail. "i've spent so long keeping my distance," he says quietly, his voice thick with restraint. "telling myself that this... that you... were out of reach."
you shift closer, the water rippling between you as your knees brush against his. "i'm not out of reach, george," you whisper, your fingers trailing along his arm. "i'm right here."
you crawl over to him as you kiss him. he immediately melts under your touch, his cold skin going pliant under your fingertips. you go even further, opening your mouth with his tongue and swallowing the little gasp that comes out. he grips your forearms as you take up more space in his lap, his eyes shut as you greedily touch him everywhere you can.
you can feel him harden under your touch, as you reach down to wrap a hand around him. he bucks up into your touch as he kisses you harder. you tighten your hold as he fucks up into you, the water splashing around you both as he cradles your face with his hands.
for a moment, all you can hear is the motion of the water and his quiet groans against your mouth.
as he moans in your mouth again, you smile and swipe your thumb over his head. his stomach clenches, and his thighs tense as he releases. he looks up at you with apologetic teary eyes, the teardrops spilling over. he looks a mess. his sharp canines protruding from his mouth, pushing his lips into a pout. you kiss him. the role reversal hadn’t been lost on you. you had managed to reduce your ‘predator’ into tears over a handjob. take that user maxattack!
you then smile, not unkindly, and lick up the salty trail that his teardrops had mapped on his face. you kiss his cheek.
“you okay?” he nods in response to your question. you hesitate before asking a question. “do you mind if try something? i’ve always been curious about it.”
“of course.”
you lean forward and bite over his jugular. he seemingly doesn’t react. you bite down harder, when you look at him, he just looks back at you with his eyes wide. the pressure of your teeth didn’t seem to affect him, but hey, it was something to tick off your bucket list.
“having fun?” he smiles.
“a lot.” you grin. “i’d have even more if you let me have my way with you in an actual bed.”
you’ve never seen him move so quickly as he did when getting out of the bath.
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UPDATE: AITA for thinking my vampire roommate had a crush on me?
posted by user728338
hey everyone, i wasn’t expecting the original post to get so much attention, but after reading through all your comments (some of them were wild, lol), i figured i’d give you an update!
so… turns out, you guys were right. he did have a crush on me, and i wasn’t imagining things. i ended up overhearing him on the phone with his friend (as you all predicted), and he was basically confessing his feelings for me! it was awkward at first—he got super embarrassed and disappeared for a few days. i thought that was going to be the end of it, but then he came back to apologise, all prim and proper as usual, even though i was literally in the bath when he did it.
and well… one thing led to another. we had a very honest conversation about everything, about how we’ve both been feeling, and let’s just say it escalated from there.
yes, we hooked up. and it was… intense (vampires, am i right?). i won’t go into too much detail, but it was amazing and also kind of sweet? he is still his usual gentlemanly self, but he’s also loosened up a bit around me now, which is nice. the best part? we’re officially dating now!!
it’s still early days, but things have been going really well. he is is surprisingly thoughtful, and he’s made it clear that he takes this—us—very seriously. i’m honestly really happy with him, and the whole vampire thing? not as big of a deal as i thought it would be.
so yeah, it all worked out in the end! thanks for the advice, everyone. and to those who told me to get therapy or run because he was going to eat me—he definitely didn’t. ;)
tl;dr: my vampire roommate had a crush on me, we hooked up, and now we’re dating!
view all comments
maxattack: THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA. IT'S NOT TOO LATE. STAKE HIM. I REPEAT— STAKE. HIM. you say he didn't eat you this time, but that's how it starts. they lure you in with sweetness, get you comfortable, and then BAM, next thing you know, you're in a coffin six feet under. i’ve seen it happen. i’ll say it one more time — STAKE. THROUGH. THE. HEART. I'M WARNING YOU!!!!!
chachaslide: this is SO CUTE! i’m so glad you two talked it out and things worked out in the best way possible. it sounds like you’ve got a great thing going! i hope everything continues to be amazing between you two. just keep up that communication, and you’ll be fine! wishing you both all the best <3
randolando: knew it!!! i told you, vampires just get weird with crushes. i’m glad it worked out for you two! also, the fact that he didn’t try to stop your heart means you’re doing better than me with that vamp chick lmao. anyway, keep having fun, but maybe steer clear of any caves. congrats!
alexxxxx123: OMG IT IS HIM! i knew it! g is a total sweetheart, and honestly, you’ve snagged a good one. i’m really happy for you both. i had a feeling he liked you when you first mentioned the awkwardness. he’s just a bit shy when it comes to feelings. don’t worry, he’ll get a lot more comfortable as you go along! congrats again! <3
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ALL WORKS TAGLIST —@donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @marshmummy @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @yongi-lee @maxlarens @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @kazeqs @linoscrly (no one here specified to not be tagged for smut but if you would like to be removed from being tagged in smut fics or any fics, let me know via ask!!)
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latin5mamii · 4 months ago
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Angel - Jude Bellingham
|WARNINGS: nsfw (not too much you'll have to wait😉) Previous part |SUMMARY:How could you know that a stupid nickname could change everything? |AUTHOR'S NOTE: Long chapter (I know you love me😌) enjoy!
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“Girl he’s literally the love of your life, what’s wrong?”
YES, maybe you were overthinking on Jobe's warning. You know that he, being your best friend forever, has always been protective of you. If there had been something wrong he would have told you right away, right?
The first thing you did after Jude left was call your best friend, who was sure to attack you in any way possible. So now you find yourself talking about it with her, and she thinks you're stupid, obviously, but maybe you too start to think that you're a little paranoid.
“You're right, maybe? I don't know what to think either and I'm not even sure I realized what happened."
That kiss, God, couldn't get out of your head. You'd probably been waiting for this moment since middle school, yet you managed to ruin it from your thoughts. You try to practice one of the therapies to banish bad thoughts but it obviously doesn't work.
“Y/N, let me be honest with you: just trust Jude, you know your bond is very strong and I think he wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't want to”
But that's not what you meant, unfortunately. It's obvious that if he hadn't wanted to kiss you he wouldn't have even stayed at your house to sleep, because let's face it, you both knew what would happen. What if he didn't have to leave? You know very well what would happen after that kiss. You didn't even want to confront Jude because you didn't want him to think that you don't trust him. He said he would write to you as soon as possible. Maybe you have nothing left but to trust him. Ok that you study psychology , but not everyone is definitely crazy or plotting behind your back. And anyway you had other things to think about: You probably didn't forget that he invited you to one of his games, right?
"He also invited me to one of his matches, the one in two weeks, I think"
You can hear your friend gasp in amazement, you can hear an envious but playful tone in her voice.
"Are you fucking serious? Lucky you!"
The day continued in a calm, but boring way. You were waiting for a message from him, that's the truth.
 You even thought about sending him a message, but would you seriously have done it? So you tried to distract yourself: reading, studying , trying to do anything not to think about him, about that kiss and the way he could make you feel butterflies in your stomach at any moment. 
(Seriously, could you stop thinking about him for just one minute? It’s like he’s the only thing on your mind. Oh wait, he probably is.)
The moment you finally stopped thinking about it (Or at least you think) your phone buzzed, and you, as if you've been waiting for years, take it right away, and when you read Jude's name on the screen, you can't help but smile and your heart skips a beat.
Jude: Hey Angel, hope your day was as good as mine. I can't stop thinking about you. Lunch was a drag without you.
You couldn't help but smile as you typed back.
You: Hey, lunch was boring here too. I missed you.
(You missed him? It’s only been a few hours. But hey, who am I to judge?)
A few moments later, your phone buzzed again.
Jude: Let’s make up for it then. Are you free tonight?
Your heart raced at the thought of seeing him again so soon.
You: Definitely. What do you have in mind?
Jude: How about we take a trip to the lake? We can have a picnic and watch the sunset.
You:You always know how to make me smile, what time?
Okay, maybe this message was a bit stupid, but as soon as he replies, you can see that this message was appreciated.
Jude:Built for this, ain’t I? I’ll come pick you up at 6?
You: I can’t wait
Jude:See you soon then, Angel.
You spent the next few hours getting ready, packing a small bag with everything you might need for the lake. The excitement built with each passing minute, your heart racing at the thought of spending the evening with Jude.
As the clock neared 6, you were ready and waiting. Jude arrived right on time, his eyes lighting up as he saw you.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, pulling you into a warm embrace. 
"Beautiful?" You say with a slightly embarrassed tone as you rest your head on his chest.
"I can't deny it" An embarrassed smile appears on your face.
The car ride was pretty quiet, but also stressful because of all those awkward silences that happened because of what happened earlier at your house.
When you got to the lake, you settled on a towel and he started staring at you again, not that you didn't like it.
Jude’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Ready for a swim?” he asked, his voice dripping with playfulness.
“Absolutely,” you replied, slipping off your shoes and heading towards the water. Jude followed close behind, his gaze never leaving you.
Once in the lake, you splashed him playfully, laughing as he blinked in surprise. “Oh, it’s on now,” he said, closing the distance between you with a few swift strokes.
Before you could react, he scooped you up, water dripping from both of you. “Put me down!” you protested, giggling.
“Not a chance,” he replied, his voice low and teasing. He twirled you around before gently setting you back in the water, his hands lingering on your waist.
“Alright, alright, you win,” you said, breathless from laughter.
He grinned, his eyes locking onto yours. “I always do.”
His fingers lightly tracing patterns on your skin under the water, sending shivers up your spine.
“Jude…” you began, but his name on your lips seemed to ignite something in him. His gaze darkened with desire as he moved even closer, his breath hot against your neck.
“You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.
Before you could respond, his lips were on yours. The kiss was searing, his hands gripping your waist tightly as if he never wanted to let go. You responded eagerly, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer.
The water lapped around you as the kiss deepened, growing more passionate by the second. Jude’s hands roamed over your back, pulling you against him as if he couldn’t get enough. You felt his heart pounding against your chest, matching the frantic beat of your own.
You broke the kiss for a brief moment, gasping for air. But the second you met his eyes, filled with an intensity that took your breath away, you were drawn back together. His hands moved to your hips, lifting you slightly as you wrapped your legs around his waist, anchoring yourself to him.
"We gotta pick up where we left off this morning, yeah?" he groaned against your lips, his voice rough with need.
You nodded quickly and in an instant his lips were on your neck, leaving significant marks. You let a soft moan from your lips and you know that this is driving him even more crazy. His lips are now on your lips again, in a kiss with hunger. You have been waiting for this moment for a long time, and it has finally arrived.
The feel of his skin against yours, the taste of his lips, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the universe,it was intoxicating.
Jude’s hands moved up and down your body, exploring every curve, every inch of you, as if he couldn’t get enough. You matched his intensity, your own hands tangling in his hair, pulling him even closer.
After what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, you finally pulled back, both of you breathless and flushed. Jude rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath.
You both stayed there for a moment, just holding each other, the water gently rocking you. When you finally made your way back to the towel, he started talking to you.
"My mom... she’s been asking about you. She wants you to come to dinner tomorrow night. She misses you,a lot."
Your heart warmed at the thought. Jude's family had always been like a second family to you, and the invitation really warmed your heart, "I'd love to come," you replied, smiling.
“She’ll be happy to hear that”
He said, caressing your cheek. “Anyway, there's one more thing I wanted to ask you.” A sense of anxiety made you laugh nervously. He looked slightly more serious.
"I have to go back to Madrid the day after tomorrow," After a short pause, he continues, "And I was wondering, if maybe you wanted to come with me."
Now you are sure of the fact that most likely, at this request, your eyes widened and perhaps, your heart might have missed more than a beat. Did it mean that you would sleep together every night? Did it mean that perhaps you were his girlfriend? A question now kept bombarding your head: What are you two?
A couple? Best friends who have gone too far? You don't know how long you've been staring at him without giving him a response, but just the thought of actually staring at him shocked embarrasses you so much that it makes you want to disappear.
"I mean, I want to" You are still slightly shocked by the proposal and can't form a sensible sentence.
Jude starts chuckling at your form of communication.
"You want to? Okay, that's a good start"
"But I'll let you know tomorrow for sure, okay?"
"It's more than okay, angel"
After spending a little more time at the lake, enjoying the sunset and each other’s company, you and Jude eventually packed up and headed back to his car. The drive back was filled with comfortable silence and soft music, your hand resting in his, little stolen glances that made you giggle, is this what it feels like when you're in love?When you reached your house, Jude walked you to your door, his arm draped around your shoulders. As you turned to face him, he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“Goodnight, beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes twinkling under the porch light.
“Goodnight, Jude,” you replied softly, your heart full as you watched him walk back to his car.
A smile played on your lips and you couldn’t be more excited for what was about to come. You giggled all the way to your apartment and as soon as you got in you flopped onto the bed, stomping your feet excitedly. How can I blame you? You've been waiting for this your whole life.
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akutasoda · 9 months ago
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I saw your requests are open so here I am! The fandom is BSD and the characters are Fyodor, Akutagawa, Yosano and Jouno (if thats not too many). Reader and them are not offically in a relationship! Reader nonchalantly brings up that their being stalked, not quite realizing the weight of their situation. What are the characters going to do about it?
never alone
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synopsis - how would they react when you casually mentioned you might be being stalked
includes - yosano, akutagawa, fyodor, jouno
warnings - gn!reader, reader gets stalked, slight angst, fluff, wc - 1.3k
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nowadays you always felt like something was wrong. your nomral everyday routine had an addition to it which made you uncomfortable and made you feel vulnerable. it always felt like a pair of eyes were trained onto your figure at every waking minute of the day.
the figure that you regularly saw was definitely new. it was only a handful of times but there was no way that all the times were pure coincidence? right? and why would the figure stop or turn away when you turned to check they were still following you?
after a very short while it started making you really uncomfortable. it felt like you were being constantly watched and you could no longer focus on anything else as it worried you. but truth be told you didn't know what to do. you felt like you should tell someone but you didn't want them to think you were just being paranoid and you didn't think it was that serious, so you shrugged it to the back of your mind and let it slowly eat away atyour conscience.
eventually you let it spill and you told your most trusted friend about your worries. it was an accident to start with, like you were telling a joke, so you came of very nonchalantly but they didn't take it so lightly.
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akiko yosano ★↷
what had started as one of your many friendly catch-ups with yosano had now turned into a very troubling conversation. you and yosano would practically meet everyday if you didn't see eachother throughout and because you both were extremely close you two would often spill secrets or gossip.
when you casually mentioned that you thought you might be being stalked her face dropped immediately. you felt the air tense from the normally friendly atmosphere and you really only registered what you said when she asked you to repeat yourself. that's sort of when you let it all out as you finally felt you had someone to talk to about it.
her face only became visibly more concerned but she would patiently wait for you to finish telling her about every little detail. once you had finished, you felt like a weight had been lifted but immediately replaced as you then realised the situation fully.
yosano noted your current concerns and immediately offered help, help you knew she wouldn't let you refuse. she worked in a detective agency afterall, sure they dealt with more aggressive cases but stalking wouldn't be turned down especially if it was you who was suffering.
she offered to walk you home herself afterwards and that would be the first time in ages you didn't feel those eyes on you. it would also be the last as from the next day you noted that you never felt them again.
ryūnosuke akutagawa ★↷
you often would talk to akutagawa during or after a mission. he wasn't exactly talkative but you never minded and still found his company rather comforting - some may call you crazy for thinking that. and lately being in his presence made you much more comfortable as it no longer felt like you were being watched.
akutagawa may struggle with many things to do with friendships and such but he wasn't entirely dumb to not notice your recent constant discomfort. he could recognise that something was troubling you, especially when he caught your eyes frantically looking around if you were alone, and so he asked what was wrong - you were being rather distant on the current mission.
you nonchalantly mentioned about your growing discomfort and worry about someone following you constantly, you couldn't tell but his face dropped with a certain seriousness. you didn't realise and so you went to act as everything was normally but he stopped you and asked you to repeat yourself. the seriousness is his voice was something you've never heard.
he eventually got you to explain everything to him and while he didn't show anything on his face, you knew he was mad and that's when the weight of the situation dropped on you. from that day forward akutagawa made it a point to walk you anywhere. you're going home? he'll accompany you, you're heading to the shops? he needs to pick some stuff up anyway.
sometimes it felt overbearing but you knew why he was doing it and eventually after a couple of days he stopped. you really didn't have to ask about why you didn't feel watched anymore, you knew the fate akutagawa had given someone.
fyodor dostoevsky ★↷
fyodor had once told you that you were one of few he would properly engage in conversation with. most of the time that meant you telling him about your day while he chimed in with the occasional hum or question while he worked at his desk - he did barely do physical missions.
you had been busy telling him about something that you'd done that day ehile you were out and so your brain immediately went to talk about how uncomfortable you had been feeling when going anywhere. you hadn't noticed at first but fyodor stopped typing when he asked you to elaborate. what you did notice was him turning to look at you fully when you elaborated.
you let out an awkward laugh and asked if something was wrong and he immediately started asking questions. you didn't quite understand but the seriousness soon became emphasised when he offered that you stay with him that night and you really didn't want to say no after seeing how angry he seemed to be.
you would come to wake up the next morning to a nornal fyodor. he'd greet you and he seemed back to his normal self and if you asked about last night he'd justt deny anything. you would note how for the first time in ages you didn't feel like you were being constantly watched.
saigiku jouno ★↷
if time was available, you would often head round to jouno's residence to see him. it was atleast once a week so it served as a catch-up between the two of you, most of the time he was extremely busy and saw your company as a reminder to finally take a break.
you two would often spend ages talking about whatever thing that had occurred that week and it was a real safespace for you. so it was only natural that you casually mentioned how you always felt watched. you had been fiddling with your cup so you hadn't noticed jouno's face sour.
you only noticed when he asked you to elaborate and you did without second thought. jouno didn't like the fact that you had mentioned it so casually. he was a hunting dog, a morally gray one perhaps but still, he protects people and so he would be failing his duties of he couldn't protect you. it shocked you with how fast jouno was to offer you to stay round his residence that night.
you didn't say no as he seemed very dead set on you staying. when you woke and got ready to leave, he accompanied you back to your residence despite your questions about if he had work to get to. the next time you were to see jouno he seemed rather smug but you immediately told him about how you didn't feel followed anymore he only smiled more and told you that he was glad you felt safe again.
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rafeyscurtainbangs · 3 months ago
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Please Please Please - Rafe Cameron Short Story (Part 1 of 6)
+18 Minor DNI
Older MobDealer!Rafe x Female Reader
🪄 re-uploaded because I had to make a new account.
⭐ republished ⭐
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+18 Minor DNI
3333 words
Warnings contain spoilers: domestic assault, cheating, swearing, name-calling, gaslighting, threats, and mentions of killing partner, general violence. Every chapter after this, will have Rafe as the focal point.
📖 Loosely based on the song and music video Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter 💕
✨“Stopping in your tracks, you watch the tall blonde struggle to break free. He grits his teeth, fighting against the cuffs, his broad chest gaping at the buttons of his black button-down shirt. He looks like he’s been through it; a gashed lip, the bottom of his pressed shirt half-tucked, his hair messy and sweaty against his dewy, tanned skin.”✨
*blue font is present day
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Reader’s POV:
Red wine, Tony’s favorite, Cabernet Sauvignon specifically. Tokara Telos, the first bottle of wine we shared on our very first date. Fitting for our two year anniversary. Slowly swirling the glass you watch the rich red wine cascade down the side. You look at the oven, eyeing the clock, watching a second hour pass. Nine… Dinner was set for seven. Where the hell is he? Maybe he texted me? Maybe he’s in a business meeting gone long or wrong?
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Unread to read. Your heart skips a beat as you watch the three dots impatiently; Tony finally acknowledging you, letting you know where the fuck he is and what the hell he’s doing.
Nothingness.
The three dots disappear leaving behind the disappointing chain of messages.
Is he with someone else?
I hate that that’s where my mind goes first, since he’s assured me time and time again he’s faithful and I’m paranoid. It’s hard to give him the benefit of the doubt when there’s so much to doubt. Every excuse just sounds so fabricated with him, corroborated by his goons so I don’t have a leg to stand on.
Then there’s the talk around the country club… It’s just whispers, no real proof, but I swear it’s so goddamn loud. I’m rarely at the Island Club, but when I am, I can see the eyes on us. The cutting watch of women who Tony could possibly be seeing on the side; gossip shared just out of earshot. Everyones’ pity and focus always seems to be directed at me.
It’s embarrassing to feel like everyone knows my drama but me. No one opens their mouths. Ya know why? They’re scared… Scared of him. And I don’t blame ‘em. I’d be scared too.
So here I sit. Getting stood up by my boyfriend while he’s out doing god knows what, with god knows who, because he can. He can do whatever he’d like, break my heart, bruise my ego, because deep down I know there’s nothing I can do… The day I met him was the day I lost myself.
“Vlad,” you call from the kitchen, your voice bouncing off the walls of the lavish estate. “Vlad?”
“Miss?” Tony’s driver comes around the corner with a broad smile, taking in the smells of whatever lingers of the now cold pom de terre. “Smells delicious, Miss. I didn’t know you were a cook.”
“I’m not,” you sigh through a labored laugh. “Just thought I’d make what we had on our first date,” you hum, hearing the drunken slur in your own voice. Vlad cocks an eyebrow, clocking it instantly. “Umm… Dinner was supposed to be at seven,” you sough, gesturing with your glass toward the clock. “Do you know where he-”
“How was lunch with Anna?” He cuts you short, quickly changing the subject, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.
“Where’s Tony,” you return, trying your best to level your wavering tone, dismissing his “pleasantries”.
“The office-”
“What office exactly?” You snip, knowing it’s the Law Firm or The Country Club. Vlad’s gaze casts to the floor. He shuffles his Italian leather boot anxiously, not as good with his “excuses” as the other men on Tony’s payroll. It’s a wordless answer nonetheless - The Country Club. “Can you take me there? I want to make sure he has some dinner. I’m assuming he’s been there all day. The meeting just went long?” You ramble, without a verbal answer from him, gathering your things to leave as the older man flounders.
"Miss…” He cautions you, taking his turn with a faltering tone, making matters worse for Tony.
“Is there an issue?” You ask as you lift an eyebrow in his direction.
“Mr. Marietta is in an important meeting. As you know, they’re not usually the safest situations, and he demands your safety. Tony expressed to me that he would be home late. Would you like me to call him and ask when he’ll be coming home?” You roll your eyes, chuckling in disbelief as you stroll past him.
“I am perfectly capable of that,” you breathe as you snag a new bottle of red wine, heading out the door.
⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦
The Country Club comes into sight, the gaudy neon sign flickering from a distance. The parking lot is packed, littered with cars; always jam-packed on the weekends. Kooks, Pogues, and tourists alike all brought together for their shared love of pussy.
“Park there,” you guide from the backseat as you spot Tony’s blacked-out Maybach truck parked under the streetlight. Vlad locks eyes with you through the rearview mirror.
“Would you like me to call him before you go inside, Miss?” You shake your head ‘no’ as you look out the window, drawing a deep, nervous breath before pushing out.
What am I walking into?
“Y/n?” Luis, Tony’s bodyguard and bouncer, calls from his seat outside the door. “What are you doin’ here?” He looks in all directions for watchers-on anxiously, the blood drained from his face like he’d just seen a ghost. Only a handful of people even know that Tony owns this shithole. To virtually everyone on the Island he’s just another Kook King. The Marietta to the Marietta and Klaus Law Firm. This is simply a front for something bigger, something Tony can use to wash his dirty drug money; a front. “You just missed Tony,” he lies through his gold-capped teeth.
“He’s here,” you smile as you step toward the door, grabbing the handle. Luis rests his large palm on top, looking down at you blankly. “He’s in a meeting, Miss.”
“And-” You ask as you twist the knob, but Luis doesn’t budge. “Move.”
“No.”
“Get the fuck out of my way,” you snap. Luis’s jaw tightens as he shakes his head ‘no’ standing firm. “You said he wasn’t here. Now he’s here and I can’t go in? That’s my fuckin’ boyfriend,” you hiss.
“I have orders, ma’am.”
“Orders?” You scoff.
“Orders-”
“Pussy,” you spit, turning on your heels, heading back where you came. Plan B. You pick up speed, clipping down the asphalt before he can intervene, following the line of men waiting outside, before slipping through the front door.
Your head hangs low as you walk through the dim, seedy hallway, pushing past patrons sauntering in and out of the gentlemen’s club. The main floor. I’ve never been here… The office is the farthest I’ve gone. You catch a few familiar faces from the Island Club, their eyes doubling in disbelief and shame for seeing you here and being seen themselves. Music blares as you storm toward the back; beautiful women dancing on the stage in nothing but Pleasers for the swarm of men gathered around, flicking and raining ones on the stage.
“Yes,” you gasp as you watch a stripper step out from behind the back-of-house door; catching it before it swings shut. Just a few paces and you’re there. You slide in your key and open the office door without a second thought, ripping off the bandaid.
Nothing… The office is dark, only the light of Tony’s laptop glowing in the empty post. Maybe he is gone. You step toward it, letting your heart rate settle as you circle his desk.
The corner of your lips curl into a trembling smile as you see a framed picture of the two of you on his desk. A post-it note affixed to the top with a reminder for tonight’s date.
Maybe I am paranoid… You pull out his large leather desk chair, taking a seat. Drawing a deep, needed breath, you let your shoulders fall, releasing some of your tension. It doesn’t explain why his truck is still here… Your eyes flash open, returning to the worry at hand landing on a bar napkin. Red lipstick.
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Your stomach sinks as you hold the note, your eyes flicking to the laptop screen. Oh my god. Your heart shatters as you watch a blonde bounce on Tony’s lap, his lips locked on hers.
“No…”
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“I know,” you sigh as you relax your head back onto the cold brick wall of Kildare County Jail, looking up at the ceiling.
“Did ya kill 'em?” The woman asks in a gruff tone as she crosses her arms over her chest, tits spilling out of her tattered, lace bralette as she snaps her gum. “S'that why you’re in here?”
“Thought about it? But no. That’s not why I’m here.” You open your heavy eyes, taking in your surroundings, contemplating all the choices that landed you here. The worst of it, ever being with him in the first place.
“So, what happened next?”
“Well…”
There’s a brief separation as Tony draws away from their kiss, staring toward the door of the Champagne Room. Luis… He must have figured it out. Tony pushes the stripper off his lap, gathering his clothes as he frantically dresses.
Here we go.
You hear the muffled bang of the first door and the gritting of his key working the lock on the second. You watch as the knob twists, light flooding the room as Tony pushes into the office coming toward you fast. Tony grabs your shoulders, and you fight him off. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me,” you snap.
“Baby, please. You gotta talk to me? What’s going on? Why are you so upset? Please just talk to me,” he pleads like he’s done before; times when I gave him the benefit of the doubt; times when I believed I could be the problem here. “We weren’t doing anything.”
“Tony!” You cry. “Are you fuckin delusional? I saw you fuckin’ that stripper with my own two eyes.”
“Princess, she was just dancing. It was a lap dance. Alright? You have to believe me.”
“Just a lap dance…” You scoff looking down at his undone belt, zipper down, dress pants pitched from his hard-on. He follows your eyes, hastily zipping and fastening his pants closed.
“I don’t know what you think you saw-”
“We’re done,” you chuckle tiredly as you step back, throwing open the side office door. Tony immediately reaches for you, clawing for your arm. “Let go of me,” you struggle.
“You’re not leavin’,” he asserts, pulling you back inside.
“I am. I’m done with you. It’s our anniversary, Tony. Look at where you are. Look at what you’re doing. How could you do this to me?”
“Do what? It was just a dance. I just got out of a major deal. Alright? I was about head home-”
“Liar!”
“Liar?” He questions. “Did you just call me a liar?” He asks as you feel the sting of his blunt fingernails digging into your arm.
“I know what I saw…”
“Princess… Even if I was lying. What the fuck are you gonna do about it. Huh? You’re mine, bitch. I own you. Where are you gonna go? What money do you have? How are you gonna afford this lifestyle you’ve become so accustomed to? Spending my hard-earned money like the gold-digging slut you are. You should be grateful,” he snarls as he steps toe-to-toe with you using his free hand to tug his leather belt from the loops of his pants.
You look up into his dark eyes as cruel words spit so readily from his wicked lips like he’s had time to prepare. I’ve seen this side of him, only once. He’s an evil man, and I know that. But this sort of cruelty has never been reserved for me. Until today. He grips his belt a little tighter in his fist making you take a few steps back but he stalks closer.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere,” he threatens.
“I am,” you whisper as you try to remain firm.
“I don’t think you understand this relationship we’ve got goin’ on, sweetheart. You go when I say you go,” he growls, tracing the belt along your bare thigh. “Do you think you’ll have a life after me? You think I’ll allow that shit.” He winds up smacking it against your skin. You gnash your teeth in pain, holding back tears, the most horrifying part knowing he could go far harder. “You know too much. You’re a liability. You have nothing. You are nothing without me. And you will be nothing without me.” Chills fall down your spine at his words and the crazed look in his eyes, his pupils blown from coke, pleasure, and rage.
“M'not scared of you.”
“You’re not. Huh? My tough girl.” He leans in; lips draw to your neck, kissing your pulse point, your rapid heartbeat calling your bluff as you inhale Cassidy’s cheap perfume lingering on his skin. You pinch your eyes shut as his large hand threads into your hair, tugging slightly while the other soothes your stinging thigh with his rough palm.
“I came from nothing, Tony. I’ll be fine.”
He scoffs as he uses his grasp on your strands to shove you away, letting the back of your head and body bang against the side door. Tony buttons up his still-undone shirt; bright red lipstick stained on the collar as well as his neck, a dark hickey forming to boot. Tears roll down your cheeks as you stand there defeated in your date night dress, your perfect makeup now streaming down your cheeks as you look into his soulless eyes.
“Fuck you, Tony.”
“Yeah. Yeah,” he chuckles as he pulls a cigarette out from behind his ear, placing it between his lips before snapping his lighter. “You leave, and I’ll find you. I own Figure 8, princess. Hell, I own this whole damn island. You better not make it too hard on me, baby doll. It’s our anniversary, after all. I’m sure you got somethin’ pretty for Daddy under that little dress of yours. I know you like it rough… but you might not make it out this time,” he laughs as he tosses his belt roughly toward his desk, the picture of the two of you clattering and shattering on the floor.
“Are you threatening me?”
“Me? Never… But if my hands are wrapped tight enough around that pretty little throat of yours and you don’t have enough juice to shout our safe word that’s on you, angel.”
“Go to hell.”
“I’ll give you a 5 minute head start, love. That seems fair?”
You grab the door and pull it open, taking a few steps before turning around again, pressing your back against the cool door, holding it shut as you look for an out. Luis is gone from his post, most likely keeping watch on the opposite end, Vlad in the parking lot, open water on the other side. There’s no way I can go back home. No family close by. No car. No escape. Looking out into the busy parking lot, you watch a squad car slow-roll through the back of the lot. Perfect.
Thank you, Luis. You reach down, snagging his Louisville Slugger perched against the weathered barstool. "Miss?” You hear his bodyguard’s frantic voice as he rounds the corner. You run into the lot as fast as your feet can take you, swerving around cars; dodging Luis.
You slam your eyes shut, swinging hard, nailing Tony’s Maybach truck, shattering the glass. The car alarm blares, echoing through the large lot. “Y/n!” Luis yells, but you swing and swing again.
“Y/n!” Tony barks from the door. You point the bat in his direction, twirling it before knocking off the wing mirror and sending it flying. A second siren fires, the sound of the police cruiser blares through the night, competing with the truck as it gets closer and closer.
You nail the glass, shards spilling into the truck as the cruiser pulls up, moving to the front of the vehicle you make your delinquency visible, quickly knocking out each headlight while the deputies climb out of their vehicle. “Get on the ground. Get on the ground now!” They holler.
“Deputy, this… this is a misunderstanding,” Tony assures as he enters the lot, softening his voice again.
“No, it’s not. And if I had a knife, I’d slash your tires, asshole.” The officers grab for you, expecting a fight, ultimately getting the latter. You cross your arms behind your back, smiling at Tony as they lock you in cuffs.
"Well, shit,” the older woman chuckles as she pulls you back to reality.
“Mhmm… but I’m a liability. After that little stunt I pulled, I know I’m living on borrowed time. Jail is the only place I could leave and be safe for the night. It’s just a band aid though; a temporary fix. I’m sure he’ll bail me out any minute, but who knows what’ll happen? I want to show him I’m not afraid.”
She purses her lips, debating whether to ask the million dollar question. “Are you?” She asks somberly.
“I wish I wasn’t-”
“L/n, someone just bailed your ass out. Let’s go,” an officer calls from outside the cell. The woman beside you taps your leg, giving you a little nod.
“He lays a finger on you, honey, I got no problem comin’ back here.”
“Thank you,” you whisper before turning toward the officer, giving her a wide, fake smile.
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You rise to your feet, fixing your dress as you walk to out-processing. “To the left.”
Shupe matches your gaze from his post, giving you a wary glance. “M'am, are these your belongings?” He asks as he holds up the plastic bag of goods. You give him a soft smile and a nod. “Sure you got nothin’ you wanna tell me, Miss F/N L/N. Now’s the time,” Shupe warns. “You know, it’s Tony who posted your bail. He’s waitin’ for you outside-”
“I’m fine. Just fine, Deputy,” you assure as you fish your lipstick out from your clutch, slicking it on in the reflection of the privacy glass. “It was nothin’. Just a misunderstanding, as I said.”
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“Just fine? Trashing Mr. Marietta’s Maybach truck was nothing? Just a normal night for the two of you?” He asks sarcastically.
You look at him and smile, dead-eyed and defeated. “It was our anniversary, actually.” Shupe’s eyes widen at yours, the occasion making your story even more unbelievable. “Have a great day, Deputy.”
“This is not a beauty pageant,” the female officer grunts, shooing you toward the exit.
I don’t know if I made the right choice… but I’m not gonna snitch. If I want to survive, I’m going to have to be strategic.
“I’m cooperating. Ain’t I?” You hear a deep voice echo down the hallway.
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Stopping in your tracks, you watch the tall blonde struggle to break free. He grits his teeth, fighting against the cuffs, his broad chest gaping at the buttons of his black button-down shirt. He looks like he’s been through it; a gashed lip, the bottom of his pressed shirt half-tucked, his hair messy and sweaty against his dewy, tanned skin.
His eyes match yours; even from a distance, you can see how blue they are. His entire demeanor shifts, softening as a smile pulls on his pretty lips. A smile so beautiful, you can’t help but return the same.
There’s something magnetic about him, an intensity drawing your focus to him like a moth to a flame. He winks, and in that instant, everything changes. There’s no mistaking the connection swelling between you.
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“Hey,” he mouths; your breath catches in your chest, pulse-quickening as time slows to a snail’s-pace. He looks at you until the last minute before being shoved inside his confinements. The metal door slams shut, jarring you from your daze, the bustle of the jail building from the solace in your mind.
Who was that?
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It was momentary… a fleeting beat. The calm before the storm. You get pushed along, shoved toward the exit, and away from a sweet dream, thrown straight into a nightmare.
Part 2
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aemondapologistfrfr · 3 months ago
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More Beautiful Than the Stars
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addam velaryon x targ!fem!reader
Summary: After the war Rhaenyra has you enter a strategic marriage. You were unsure at first but quickly fell for your betrothed. After a moon of courting you two cannot wait to be wed. 
Warnings: 18+ wine, mentions of death from the war, arranged betrothal, oral (f receiving), p in v, proof read like 95%
Authors Note: i was late to work bc i wanted to keep writing this :))
Word Count: 6.8k anyways 
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In the wake of the war we’ve lost many who were in high positions of power and authority. Lesser Lords and Lady’s have been granted new lands and titles helping strengthen the loyalty to my mother. What took everyone by surprise was when she offered Driftmark to Addam Velaryon. 
The house seat should’ve passed to one of my brothers should they have lived. Addams elder brother refused due to resentment of Corlys. I can’t blame him for his feelings, if I was in his position I would have felt the same. Addam on the other hand wanted the recognition and the title. He served my mother well and faithfully even when Corlys did not. 
I think my mother sees a lot of Leanor in him. He has a gentle and kind spirit who is very laid back but fiercely protective. I’ve never had much interaction with him since we met right before the war. I did admire him for his bravery to flying to war in the name of my mother on dragonback. Now I’m watching his eyes water as my mother offers him Driftmark and all the comes with it. 
“Your Grace, I am honored.” Addam bows his head deeply and goes to his knee. 
“Rise, Addam, Lord of the Tides.” Rhaenyra smiles pulling him up to his feet. 
“I don’t know what to say.” he shakes his head as a smile spreads across his face. 
“Say yes, and become my master of ships.” she hums as he shakes his head in disbelief. 
“I will serve you well and faithfully. I am yours to command.” he nods and she dismisses him from the council chambers. 
“That was very generous,” I hum nodding my head to her. 
“I have one more thing to offer him.” she nibbles on her lip looking to me. 
“What more could you offer him?” I tilt my head. 
“A wife.” I shake my head in confusion. 
“I didn’t think you were so eager to marry again?” I study her face. 
“Not me, my sweet girl.” she reaches across the table to hold my hand. 
“Who?” my heart starts to race as I fear I know her answer. 
“You.” I feel my heart drop. 
“Mother, I barely know him.” my voice cracks. 
“You’ll get to know him. You’ll stay with him on Driftmark for a moon and then you will marry. I need you to do this for me. I need you there making sure he remains loyal.” her eyes pleading to mine. 
“There’s no one else to contest your throne. Why do you remain so paranoid mother?” I don’t mean to lash out with my words but I never expected her to marry me off. 
“As long as I, a woman, sit the throne there will always be scores of men to contest my birthright.” her eyes harden and she pulls her hand back. 
The chair groans as I push it against the stone and leave the hall. I try to control my breathing as I make it to my chambers. I never thought she would put me into a marriage pact. I knew with the end of the war I would be expected to marry but I didn’t think she would choose for me. 
As I push my chamber doors open I see a half dozen maids packing my bags and trunks. My breath catches at how quickly I’m to leave apparently. I feel like everything is moving so quickly as I just stand idly by. I lay back on my bed and breathe deeply as my maids continue to work. 
“Is there anything I can get you, Princess?” one of them comes to my side. 
“Please just leave me.” I wave my hand at them and they’re scurrying out of my chambers quickly. 
I sigh and turn to burry my face in my pillow. It’s not that I don’t like him, I just don’t know him. The small conversations we have had he’s been nothing but kind and sweet. I groan into the pillow feeling sorry for myself and pouting. I rise from the bed and drag my feet across the stone to finish shoving gowns into my trunks. 
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As we enter the docking area I look around at the life buzzing around them. Seasmoke sings out a song over the docks as he dips in and out of the water. Once the boat stops moving I get up and walk to the edge to make it to land again. The rickety ladder won’t pull from the dock and I’m ready to tell them to just turn the boat around. 
“Allow me.” Addams voice trails from the dock and I look him over. 
He pulls on the ladder and it still won’t budge. I look to him with a raised brow as he huffs and looks up to me. He reaches up and I gasp as his hands wrap around my waist as he lifts me down to the docks with him. I steady my feet and tilt my neck to look up to him. 
“Thank you,” I feel my cheeks heat as his smile spreads across his face. 
“Of course, my Princess.” he dips his head down. 
“Y/n will do just fine.” I smooth my skirts as he continues to smile down at me. 
“Come, Y/n. Let me show you to your chambers.” he offers me his arm and I reluctantly accept as he leads me through the docks and people. 
“How fares Driftmark, my Lord?” I ask breaking our silence. 
“It fares better now that a beautiful Targaryen Princess has graced its shores.” I blush at his words and avoid his eyes. “I’m sorry if that was too forward.” he says worriedly. 
“No, my Lord it’s okay.” I shake my head hoping my blush recedes.
“Please, call me Addam.” he hums as we turn and start our way up to the castle. 
My eyes dart around the castle as I take in its beauty. Guards and servants bow their heads to us as we enter. My head tilts up to take in the enormity of the hall and its ceilings. I look across the hall and can see the Blackwater crashing into the stony shore. He leads me up the stairs and looks both ways. 
“I must admit I’m still learning this castle.” he murmurs leading us right. “But I’ll be able to show you the best places in Hull and Spicetown with ease.” he smiles down to me. 
“We shall learn this castle together then.” I offer him a small smile of my own. 
“Here we are.” he stops in front of a large set of double doors with a guard standing sentry. 
“My trunks and bags?” I turn to him. 
“Are being brought up. I will go check on them. I’ll send a servant up to see to it your needs are met while I’m indisposed. Should you need me let your guard know and I will come at once. No matter how small the issue is, I will come.” Addams words a promise as he nods his head to me. I go to turn to slip into my chambers and he grabs my hand and places a soft kiss on it. 
I click my doors shut behind me and pray he didn’t see my cheeks catch on fire. Gods that man is so chivalrous. I look around the chambers and see how massive they truly are. I’m standing in what I assume to be the solar as there’s a large table with chairs and couches spread around a rug. I walk into the next room and gasp as I see the bed. The bed takes up an entire wall with stone pillars jutting up to the ceiling. There’s a small couch in front of a great hearth with fur hanging off the back. I peer through the next set of doors and smile at the sunken pool I have as a bath. I look out to the balcony and dip down to one of the chairs to soak in the salt in the air. 
“Princess,” I hear a woman’s voice come from inside my chambers. “Is there anything I can do for you?” the maid lowers her head. 
“Maybe some wine and a fire.” I ask softly not wanting to be too demanding already. 
“Of course, at once.” she nods her head and is out of the doors before I can even offer her thanks. 
I get up and walk back into the main room as my bags and trunks are trickling in. Maids start to unpack them at once and begin to hang my gowns. The first maid comes back with a glass of wine and a man trailing behind with wood. I thank the woman for the wine and the man who starts my fire. I thank the servants in my room and offer them leave. I wish to unpack myself and set out gowns for my upcoming days. 
I change into a fresh gown and peek out my doors. I close them behind me and the guard goes to follow me. I shake my head saying I’m just staying to the castle. My skirts flow behind me as I start around the corner. I go to turn another corner until I hear a couple of maids talking about Addam. 
“Can you believe he gave her the main chambers?” the first woman’s voice hushed. 
“You sound jealous.” the second woman scolds. 
“Of course I am. He lets her sleep lavish while he goes to the guest chambers. I heard she pouted the whole way here.” my heart beats at the insinuation that he gave away his chambers to me. I care not if they think I pouted, because I probably did.
“She just lost most of her family to war and now she’s being sent away from her remaining family to be wed.” one of them defends me and I decide I like her. 
“How terrible it must be to be a Princess of the realm and be forced to marry a handsome Lord who also rides a dragon.” I can hear the eye roll in her voice and I’ve had enough. 
“Did you watch your family get taken by The Stranger day after day?” I ask turning the corner. “Did you watch your family crumble to the ground around you? Tell me.” I cross my arms looking to her. 
“My Princess, I didn’t mean-“ 
“What did you mean then?” I cut her off narrowing my eyes at her before looking to the other who I recognize as the first woman to bring me wine.
“I just- I I’m sorry.” she lowers her head and scurries down the hall. 
“I’m sorry for her words, my Princess.” she dips her head.
“Thank you for defending me, what is your name?” I hum looking her over. 
“Cyerra, if you wish.” she keeps her head bowed. 
“Cyerra I would be honored if you would be my personal handmaid. I need someone headstrong and loyal and I fear I have no friends here.” my voice hushed as her eyes rise to mine. 
“You honor me.” her voice shakes. “I shall be your friend and anything you need.” she smiles. 
“Thank you, Cyerra.” I smile to match hers. “Does this place have a library?” she smiles even wider and I follow after her as she leads me through the winding stone halls. 
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My first week on Driftmark has been going well. Cyerra keeps me company when I’m not roaming the library for a new book. Addam has been very sweet but has had a lot of meetings to deal with due to his new position.
“Do you ever go anywhere else?” Addams voice reverberates off the library walls and I huff and put my book down. 
“I go outside..” I trail off. “Sometimes.” he smiles and takes a seat next to me. 
“The people are curious about you, they wish to meet you.” he says softly as his eyes search mine. 
“What if they don’t like me?” my voice hushed. 
“How could they not?” he scrunches his brows. “Come, let me show you around Hull and maybe if you like it I can take you dancing.” his smile is infectious as I abandon the book and accept his hand as we exit the library.
As we exit the castle I feel as if everyone is staring at me. I lean into Addams side more and he looks down to me to offer me a comforting smile. We walk through the main gates and continue on into the crowd. People stop and talk to him and offer me warm smiles and welcomes. 
“This is where I grew up.” his voice soft as we enter into a different part of town. “It is my wish to focus on and help the people of this island. We may be formidable but we could use help.” he ushers me over to a stall with delicious smelling food. 
He offers the vendor more coin than this stick of meat is worth and hands it to me. I moan as the meat melts into my mouth. I eat another piece before offering him some. He shakes his head and I finish the rest not caring about the juices sliding down my fingers. 
“That was divine.” I lick my lips looking up to him with a smile. 
“Let me show you my favorite.” he smiles grabbing my hand and leading me to another vendor. This time it’s a smoked fish that is well seasoned and smoked. 
“Addam,” I moan as I take another bite. “I fear I’ll eat Hull dry.” I giggle as he wipes the side of my mouth. 
“There’s another delicacy we’re known for, but it’s not everyone’s favorite.” he leads me down the streets closer to the docks. 
I look at the small chopped up raw fish in front of me with vegetables and grains. I sniff it and look at Addam with raised eyebrows. He pops a piece into his mouth and blink at him in surprise. 
“You eat it raw?” my voice full of concern. 
“You’d be surprised at how good it is raw.” he hums bringing a piece to my lips. 
I sigh and accept the fish from his fingers. The texture throws me off but the flavors still burst through my mouth. I chew almost in question as I contemplate if I like it. 
“Not my favorite, but I don’t hate it.” I take another piece to try it some more as he chuckles softly. 
The sun slowly begins to drop behind the horizon as we stop at more vendors and I try new foods and drinks. We walk deeper into the city until we start to hear laughing and music. He pulls me into a tavern and it erupts into cheers as we enter. 
“Lord Addam!” they all cheer and clap as I look up to him admiring his smile. 
“You’ve finally blessed us with a glimpse of your beautiful Princess.” a man approaches and bows deeply to me. 
“That is unnecessary,” I shake my head with a smile. “There’s no need to bow to me.” the man rises with a smirk. 
“You’ve got yourself a sweet one.” he claps Addam on the shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. 
“A drink?” Addam smiles down to me and I nod. 
He leads us to the bar hands and encases me with his body placing both of his hands on either side of me on the bar top. I lean back into his chest enjoying the simple protection he’s offering me from the crowd. I don’t even focus on his words to the man and allow myself to shrink into him. 
“Did you hear me?” his voice is low as he dips down to my ear. 
“Hm?” I hum turning my head to him and blush at how close our faces are. 
“I asked if you wanted to go to a table.” I blink up to him still lost. 
He chuckles and grabs both of the cups by their handles in one hand. He turns us and keeps an arm around me as he pulls us to a back corner. He somehow manages to find us an empty table in the back and I take a sip from the cup he places in front of me. It burns as it goes down my throat and warms the entity of my body as I relax back into my seat. 
“What are you thinking about?” he hums from next to me. 
“How I could feel this warming me all the way down to my toes.” I raise my cup to him with a smile. 
“If you ever wish for me to help warm you up, just say the word.” his words playful. 
“Addam,” I gasp as my cheeks heat. 
“I jest,” he jokes but I can see the seriousness in his eyes. “I’ll get you hot enough when we dance you’ll be asking me to help cool you down.” his smirk is downright devious. 
“Is this your attempt to get me out of my gown before we wed?” a smile plays at my lips. 
“Is it working?” he licks his lips as he looks to mine as I tilt my head up to him before rising to meet his face. 
“Not in the slightest.” I kiss his nose and sit back down. 
“I don’t mind waiting.” he chuckles taking a sip from his cup. 
We drain our cups continuously teasing one another. I’m in a fit of giggles at his words when the music gets louder and starts to thrum through me. I look to the moving bodies and turn back to Addam. 
“I want to dance.” I pout my lips to him. 
He rises and pulls me up by both of my hands. Giggles spill from my mouth at my uneven feet and he’s quick to steady me. He shakes his head looking at me with lowered lids as he brings us to the moving bodies. His hands go to my waist and pull me close. I sigh resting my head against his chest as we begin to sway to the music. My hands roam across his back fueled by liquid courage. 
We dance and hold each other as if we’re the only people in this building. His hands squeeze at my hips every now and then reminding me of his delicious strength. We slowly pull apart and we take in each other’s heavy breathing. 
“It’s late, let me take you back to the castle.” he says lowly and I nod my head not trusting my voice. 
He gets us back to the castle in impressive time and is helping me navigate the stairs as I’m still on uneven feet. I giggle when he gives up guiding me and simply tosses me over his shoulder. His hands hold on at the back of my thighs and I squirm in his arms. He sets me down in front of my doors and looks down to me with a lazy smile. 
“The maids said you gave me your chambers.” I look up to him. 
“So what if I did?” he bites his lip. 
“You didn’t have to.” I murmur. 
“I’ll be moving back in soon enough,” he places a kiss on my forehead and opens the doors for me. He seals the doors shut and leaves me to our large apartments. 
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I groan as Cyerra opens the curtains and lets in the early morning light. I kick the blankets off of me and stretch across the bed. She starts to revive the fire to ward off the chill and goes to my wardrobe to find appropriate attire for collecting shells and muscles. 
“Curse Addam for having me wake so early.” I groan wiping my eyes. 
“It’s not so early.” Cyerra chuckles bringing me over a pair of pants and a white billowy shirt. 
“Could you possibly get me some tea?” I rise from the bed stretching once more. 
“Of course, I can always have it brought up in the mornings if you wish.” she offers. 
“No no, that’s too much trouble.” I shake my head grabbing for the pants. 
“It’s not, my Princess. If it makes you happy.” Cyerra nods walking to the door. 
I sigh at how much she waits on me. I slip the pants on and walk around getting used to them. I rarely wear pants and they just feel so different. I pull the shirt over my head and push the sleeves up my arms. I step into my slippers cuffing my pants up and go sprawl on a couch in the solar. 
“Your tea, my Princess.” Addams voice comes into the room as he kneels before me and offers me my tea. 
“Why must everyone insist on waiting on me?” I playfully roll my eyes and accept the tea. 
“What a tragedy.” he shakes his head and sits next to me on the couch. “Are you ready for a day on the shores?” he hums placing my legs in his lap and massaging my calves. 
“I am, but I’m afraid I lack the proper footwear.” I rub my fur lined slippers. 
“Is this you asking me to carry you on the sands?” he leans his head back onto the couch and lets out a laugh at my face. 
“No, I expect a full covered litter with at least ten men carrying me.” I hum sipping my tea. 
“At once,” he chuckles rising and offering me his hand. 
I quickly finish my tea and discard the cup on the table. We’re bounding down the main stairs quickly. Addam pulls me along and soon we’re approaching the shores. We stop on the edge of the sands and he begins to remove his boots. 
“I won’t make you be the only one barefoot.” he tosses his boots to the side and I start to push off my slippers. “Ready?” he pulls me into the warm sand and my toes curl in. 
“It’s so soft and warm.” we continue to pad out to the water. 
Addam pulls me away from the workers so we don’t interrupt their flow. He’s brought a small basket with us to put our collection in. He falls to his knees near the water and waves me over. I look down and thank the Gods I’m wearing black pants before I shrug and kneel next to him. 
“This is where it gets fun.” he smiles and shoves his arms into the sand up to the elbow. When he heaves the sand back up there’s a bunch of muscles that he quickly grabs and tosses into the basket. 
“How do you know where they are?” I tilt my head as he places more shells into the basket. 
“You’ll feel them.” he nods encouragingly. “So hands open and pull up.” I bite my lip as start to emerge my hands into the sand. 
The sand is cold and damp as I plunge my hands in deeper. I don’t feel anything so I push my hands further down until my nose is practically touching the sand. My finger grazes a cold, slimy shell and I yelp pulling my hands out quickly causing me to fall back.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Addam is quickly hovering over me and smiles once he sees I’m laughing. 
“I didn’t know they would be so slimy.” I get out in between giggles as he helps me upright. “Let me try again.” I steady my breathing and plunge back into the sands. I give a small jolt when I feel them and I pull up quickly. 
“Very good.” his smile is genuine as he begins to pick out the shells. 
We dig in the sands for a while longer until we decide to stop and admire the water. We walk around the shore line allowing the water to lick at our heels. We stop and pick up rocks that catch our eye. As I pick up a particularly vibrant one his hands linger on mine as we examine it. As I look up to him I see that he’s staring at me and I blush pulling the rock into my hand. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to drone on.” I say looking down. 
“You weren’t.” my eyes lock to his. “I was just admiring you.” his words are soft as a snails spreads over his features. 
“Mm, and what were you admiring?” I tease pursing my lips. 
“Everything.” his eyes look to my lips before they flick back to mine. 
“Everything?” my tongue licks along my bottom lip and I see his eyes catch the movement. 
“I want to kiss you.” his face moves closer to mine. 
“I want you to kiss me.” he kisses me once the words leave my mouth. He pulls me closer deepening the kiss. My hands hold on to his back as he cups my face. His tongue dances with mine as we melt into one another. He pulls back as we both breathe heavily. 
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” he offers me a soft smile. “There’s a lot of things I want to do.” his voice low which stirs something low in my stomach. 
“Like what?” my voice still breathless but not from the kiss and he smiles knowing it. 
“You’ll find out soon enough.” he chuckles at my red cheeks. “You seem flushed. Shall we cool down in the water?” he scoops me up and runs us into the waves and I gasp as it splashes on us and he sets me in the water. 
“Addam,” I huff as the cold water seeps through my shirt. I push him back and he falls back into the water laughing loudly. 
“You don’t seem as flushed anymore, my Princess.” he hums as he stays below the water and starts creeping his hands up my sides. “Although, I made your shirt see through and it seems as if you’re too cold now.” he pointedly looks to my chest and I look down seeing my nipples pushing through the wet fabric. 
“Was that your plan?” I look down to him huffing with red cheeks trying to hide the smile on my face. 
“No,” he shakes his head trying to look anywhere but my chest. “You can use mine and hopefully it’ll cover you up a bit more.” he pulls off his shirt quickly and hands it to me. 
“You’re the only one here so I don’t mind.” I push his shirt back in his hands but don’t miss an opportunity to allow my eyes to linger on his muscles. 
“Are you admiring me?” his tone playful as he inches closer. 
“I am.” I nod my head as my hands spread across his toned stomach. “You are very handsome.” I hum as my hands slide up his chest. 
“How long until we’re wed?” Addams voice low as his hands grab mine.
“Just under a fortnight.” I look up to him. 
“Gods give me patience.” he mumbles before pressing his lips softly against mine. 
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I lay awake in bed tossing and turning. I kick off the blankets and walk out to the balcony to see if the night air will help. The breeze kisses my heated skin and I sigh out. It’s times like this when I wish I had a dragon of my own to fly under the moonlight. I walk to the door and crack it open. 
“If Addam is awake, could you see if he could come here?” I ask softly. 
He turns the corner and I click the door shut behind me. I sit on the couch in the solar looking to the door waiting. There’s a quick knock and he’s slipping inside the doors. 
“What’s wrong?” he looks around the room and looks me over to make sure I’m unharmed. 
“I couldn’t find sleep.” I chew my lip. “I wanted to know if you could take me for a ride on Seasmoke.” I look up to him as he sighs in relief. 
“It’s cold out.” he looks over my simple night dress. 
“I’m hot.” I bring his hand to my forehead. “If not, could we walk along the shore?” I look up to him with pleading eyes. 
“You will let me at least put you in a cloak.” his lips turn upwards as he leads me back into the bed chambers to my wardrobe. 
“Are you ready to have your bed chambers back?” I ask taking the cloak he hands me. 
“Only two days left.” he hums pulling the cloak around me. 
I trail after him as he takes me to the shores. I try to take off the cloak multiple times but Addam will hear none of it. There’s a low whistle on the wind and Seasmoke lands on the sands in front of us. He walks up quickly and I curl into Addams side. Seasmoke tilts his head as Addam lets out a low chuckle. 
“He is truly more cat than dragon.” he rubs my shoulders trying to soothe me. “You’re going to scare her off.” Addam chides as Seasmoke burrows his snout into the sand huffing. 
“You speak the language well.” I hum watching him walk up to his dragon. 
“That means a lot. Thank you, my Princess.” he rubs Seasmokes neck and he seems to purr. 
Addam waves me over and I slowly walk to him. My hand slips into his as he brings it to rest on Seasmoke. The dragon leans into our touch and gives a soft chuff. Addam walks us over to his wing and nods at me to start climbing. I make my way up to the saddle and I feel Addam following close behind. We settle and Seasmoke has us launching into the skies. 
I lean back into Addam who holds me tightly from behind. Seasmoke circles us around the island and I sigh as the moonlight kisses our skin. The breeze flows through my hair and I close my eyes contented. Addam leans into me as we allow the skies to lull us into a dreamlike state. 
Seasmoke lands us on the barren shores before he shoots himself back into the skies. I slip the cloak off and lay it on the sands. I kneel down and lay back to look up at the stars. He joins me on the cloak and looks over to me. I turn my head with a smile spread across my face. 
“You’re supposed to look at the stars.” I purse my lips. 
“Mm, but I’d much rather look at you.” he turns on his side so he’s fully facing me. “You’re more beautiful than the stars.” he looks at me with pure devotion.
I lean in and press my lips against his. I melt into his touch as he rolls over on top of me. I pull him down to me to reunite our lips once more. I pull around his body trying to get him to press against me but he’s steadfast. I hook my legs around his waist and try to lure him that way but he just chuckles into my mouth as I’m just hanging off of him. 
“Addam,” I whine against his lips. 
“You’re gunna kill me.” he groans dipping down to capture my lips once more. He rolls back over onto his back and I turn over narrowing my eyes at him. “I can feel how hard you’re staring.” his chest moves up and down as he chuckles. 
“Do you not want to touch me?” he rolls his eyes as he turns to me. 
“You know that I want to touch you so very badly.” his voice low as he looks at me with dark eyes. 
“Do you?” I scoot closer to him. 
“Y/n,” his hand goes to my waist, his voice strained as I drape across his chest. 
“I can’t sleep because you’re all I think about at night.” I whisper against his lips. “I work myself up to the point where I get so hot it’s unbearable. It’s why I had you come to me tonight, I couldn’t take it anymore.” my voice barely a whisper as his fingers dig into my sides. 
“Then I’m just going to kiss you as you look at the stars.” he smirks as he flips us over once more. 
“Well how am I going to see the stars your head is in the way.” I giggle before he captures my lips and trails them down to my neck. I gasp as his tongue licks across my throat. 
“I’m gunna kiss you other places if that’s okay?” he pulls back and looks down to me and I nod my head quickly. 
He brings his lips back down to my neck and sucks softly on my pulse. I gasp as my hands grab onto his back. He trails kisses down over my night dress and peppers his lips across my covered breasts as I arch into him. He licks around my hardened nipples before continuing down my navel. I’m panting above him as I watch him move lower. His hands spread my thighs more as he settles between them. 
“Is this okay?” he looks up to me. 
“Yes, please Addam,” I feel my body hum in anticipation. 
He licks up my slit and my head falls back into the sand. My breathing is ragged as he swirls around my throbbing bud. My hips grind against his face as a moan tears through me. His tongue lashes against my bud as my legs shake around him. 
“Addam,” I mewl as he licks down to my core. 
He wraps his arms around my thighs to hold them open as his tongue licks at me feverishly. My hips roll onto his face as they seek pleasure. Whimpers fall from my mouth along with his name as I feel myself about to go over the edge. 
“Yes, please Addam,” I sob as I explode across his tongue. 
He continues to lick at me until my thighs are shaking before he slowly pulls back. He looks down at me licking his lips. His breathing is as equally as ragged as mine and we look to each other. He pulls my night dress back down and sits back. I sit up and squeeze my thighs together still feeling my release. 
“I hope my kisses were to your liking.” he smiles looking over my flushed body. 
“I think I might need kisses every night.” I smile nibbling my lip. 
“Then you shall have them every night.” he chuckles as he stands pulling me up with him and begin to make our way back to the castle. 
⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆
“You both make such a handsome couple.” Rhaenyra beams at us after the ceremony. 
“Thank you, mother.” I feel my cheeks blush at her words. 
“She pouted the whole week before coming here, you know?” she smiles to Addam who chuckles. 
“Oh, I believe it.” he pulls me into his side. “Look she’s even pouting at our wedding.” he pinches my cheek as I roll my eyes at him. 
“I’m happy for you.” she cups my cheek before she returns to her seat. 
“You look absolutely divine in this gown, my wife.” he whispers into my ear as he leads me to the dance floor. 
He pulls me against him and smiles down at me tenderly. The rest of the hall blurs as we sway around the room together. I rest my head against his chest as I hear his steady heartbeat beneath me. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly. I look up to him and he places a soft kiss on my lips. As the slow song comes to an end we continue to hold each other as more couples join us in the next dance.
Throughout the night guests come up to congratulate us and we offer them polite smiles. As the night grows late I begin to get restless wanting to finally get to enjoy my husband. When there’s only a handful of guests left we retire to our chambers for the night. 
“I’m really just excited to have my bed back.” his tone playful as he opens our doors. 
I roll my eyes at him as I brush past him and walk into our bed chambers. I hear the door thud shut and he comes behind me chuckling. He starts to unlace the back of my gown causing it to slide down. I turn to him only left in my slip as he soaks in my body. 
I reach out and start to unbutton his doublet. My fingers make quick work and I’m soon pushing it down his shoulders. He pulls his shirt off quickly and my eyes linger on his muscles. His fingers grip the hem of my slip and he has it over my head in seconds. His hands caress my sides before he cups my breasts. He looks to me as he starts to softly knead them. 
“You’re perfect.” he dips down to kiss me as his fingers brush across my nipples. 
I gasp into his mouth as his fingers offer pleasure to my sensitive peaks. He drinks down my noises as one of his hands travel between my thighs. I whine pulling back as he swirls his fingers slowly around my bud. 
“Addam,” my breath comes out in pants as his fingers coax pleasure through me. 
He dips a finger into my core and a loud moan falls from my mouth. He pumps into me as his thumb starts a rhythm on my bud. I rest my head against his chest as he slips a second finger into me. I cling to his arms as whimpers pour off my lips as he begins to curl his fingers. My legs clamp around his hand as pleasure washes through me with his name on my tongue. 
“Let’s go to the bed.” he hums pulling his hand from between my thighs. 
I make it to the bed on weak legs as he chuckles keeping his hands on my waist. I fall back onto the bed and watch him begin to unlace his pants. I sit up so I can fully appreciate his body. I reach out to him and he begins to crawl over me. 
“You’re sculpted by the Gods, husband.” I pull his lips down to mine. 
His tongue pushes into my mouth as we mend ourselves together. He presses his body against mine and I sigh at the feel of him. His hips roll into mine and I squirm at the feel of his hardened length against me. His tip brushes against my wetness and I buck my hips up. 
“Are you ready?” his breath fans across my chest as he lines himself up at my core. 
“Yes,” I pant watching as he sinks into me. 
My nails dig into his back at the stretch of him. He continues to push into me until he’s fully settled. The feel of him filling me has me gasping. I move my hips slightly and whine at the stretch. My muscles continue to relax around him and soon enough I’m rolling my hips into his waiting for him to move. 
“You just feel so good.” he rasps as he starts to slowly pump into me. When he pushes his hips into mine more rushed my breath catches. “I’m sorry,” he grunts trying to slow his hips. 
“No, faster,” I buck my hips into him whining. 
He groans as he snaps his hips into mine. Moans seep through my mouth as I start to lose myself to my pleasure. I cry out his name as I pulse around him and he groans slowing his movements. His breath comes out in pants as his hips start to move faster again. 
“Yes, yes Addam,” I feel my release coiling once more. 
He finds a rhythm that has me squeezing my eyes shut. The second his thumb brushes against my bud I burst around him. His hips stutter as I feel him begin to fill me. His breath fans across my face as we both try to calm our breathing. I shiver as he pulls out of me and cuddles into my side as my eyes flutter shut. 
“Don’t go to sleep yet, I haven’t given you your goodnight kisses yet.” my thighs clench remembering my request a couple nights ago as he slides down the bed and opens my thighs once more. 
⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆
masterlist 🔌 
this got out of hand and i’m not mad abt it
taglist ✍️ 
@clarityisnofun @callsignwidow @gabriella-aesthetic @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @anaviieiraaa @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @zanygot7straykidsbonk @thatgirl101blog @1-fuzzy-squirrels @hueanhdang
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jade-len · 10 months ago
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i adore how mxtx sorta flipped the idea on the whole top/bottom thing with svsss, and just BL relationships in general.
making bingqiu very open to switching, not making the "bottom" super feminine and actually leaning more to the handsome side compared to the "top", how luo binghe is manipulative sensitive and cries easily, etc. one of the main themes in svsss is literally about sexuality (and possibly even about gender roles).
as a queer asian man myself, i absolutely despise the "yaoi archetype" and it was one of the reasons why i avoided consuming BL media. hell, years ago when i first saw heavens official blessing, i mentally groaned and went, "ugh, let me guess, the bottom is super feminine and innocent, while the top is masculine and experienced." of course, that's not the case now, but it's disappointing how that thought was there purely because of the god awful way fetish-y media portrays homosexual people and couples. because, believe it or not, we are not assigned male/female typical gender roles just because one likes to top/bottom (and even then, it's not even like that! some people have preferences, sure, but it's not so strictly "i'm top/bottom")
so, while i absolutely LOVE the english novel designs (especially luo binghe's cute curly hair, gongyi xiao, etc, and personally believe a lot of the takes from the western artist on the designs are an improvement), i am greatly saddened by people subconsciously assigning shen qingqiu as someone more delicate and feminine and luo binghe as someone super masculine and muscly. like, if you're going to have luo binghe depicted as the western design (i believe this stems from binghe being applied to more western ideals for men, and, admittedly, i actually really love his design), at least don't make shen qingqiu feminine and delicate? don't have his appearance play into the stupid yaoi thing?
i get that people have different takes on svsss, especially how the western version depicts it. but, people just... seem to very over exaggerate the top/bottom roles when it comes to bingqiu (again, these two are, canonically, VERY open to switching).
it's weird, it's uncomfortable, and it comes across as, "so, who wears the pants in the relationship?"
so, can we please have more canonically handsome shen qingqiu? canonically beautiful and pretty boy luo binghe (they literallly state that binghe looks EXACTLY like his mom, su xiyan! while a more handsome woman, is still very beautiful!! plus it is stated several times that binghe is slim, and that shang qinghua made him that way!) or at the very least, a BL couple who actually look like normal people (ok thats a little hard considering binghe is literally supposed to be perfect) and not just a stupid fetishized version of themselves.
and no, i'm not saying that queer men shouldn't be feminine or men who are feminine shouldn't be in a relationship with guys who are masculine, etc.
TLDR: please stop twinkifying shen qingqiu and going against what mxtx defied for us queer men (the stupid yaoi roles). and for the love of whoever you believe in, do NOT think that i hate the english design or people's personal interpretation of characters, i just hate the subconscious assigning of gender roles to bingqiu and how media portrays and fetishizes LGBTQ+ relationships in general.
edit: also i love teardrew's (check them out on twitter!) interpretation of shang qinghua. while i do really like the the eng novel design's tiny scared hamster vibes, teardrew's version just radiates "up to no good, paranoid but suspicious looking bitch" rat man and i love it so so so much. i'm not gonna repost their art bc i don't know how they feel about that but perhaps you can search up "svsss designs" on here, you'll see it pop up eventually lol.
edit 2 (1/16): i just saw someone reblog a post (that im pretty sure was referring to this one because, well, if you saw it i think it'd be a little clear kahxj) that was about how bingqiu switching and completely eschewing traditional top/bottom dynamics was a fandom idea or smth? so now i'm wondering, since i swear i remember that they were open to switching, but it's just that sqq preferred to bottom and/or was just a little too lazy to top. plus, sqq is a pretty unreliable narrator who says he doesn't want something one moment and then he does. how could he say no to bingbing? esp if he seems to wanna try bottoming too. perhaps i'm mixing things up though, idk? so if anyone can find that passage that says he only and strictly wants to bottom or whatever please show me! but i think the point of this post still stands haha (i wanted to ask about it, actually, but when i clicked on the og post's user it turned out that they blocked me ? so that was a little surprising oops. hey if ur somehow reading this, im... sorry for making you want to block me bc of this post? akdhxjj)
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