#i am not super in love with this but :/// in fact i dont like these drawings at all
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the first concepts i had too. the siggy is so funny looking
ok this is going at the bottom since i cant figure out how ot put it at the top
ok so um a while back when i was super into mo4 i made a little undertale au with kei.
i actually love the au even though its honestly not the most fleshed out and completed thing (mostly because theres alot thats hard to create equivilents with for both games) it made me wanna replay undertale again and im so glad i did because i hadnt fully played since i was much younger. it was honestly like playing for the first time because there was so much that i didnt quite understand when i was younger.
if u cant tell who i have solidly pinned down as who.. (or it just isnt in any of the art)
jack is frisk
sigkin is flowey/asriel (thats why i call his au counterpart siggy!)
jeraldy is chara
bachikin is asgore and adukin is toriel. #toxicdivorcedyuri
marikin and fusakin are sans and papyrus. if you know me you know i ship marifusa but for obvious reasons i dont ship them in this au lol. the dynamics just fit them perfectly
syumitaro is gaster
ive always thought of jungle as monster kid
kashikin as undyne
zakuro as temmie
kirimi as mettaton
koritora as grillby
taiyo as mad dummy
now. the one im most conflicted about is for alphys. i thought about having morikaze in the place of alphys, (in fact i did draw him there) because of the association with kirimi. but i honestly am not sure! i do not really like him !! really the only thing id be comfortable with doing for him is a complete rewrite of his character if i do put him in that spot because he is a creep lol. maybe kouhai would fit better? i think that would be kinda cute actually. ive also thought about otsukin because he doesnt have a role.
id love to use every character (that i like) but its hard assigning everyone a role. and also this au . fucks up established lore/relationships for undertale and mo4 alike. which really isnt an issue ? most of the time? except with the undyne and alphys thing because i dont want to erase their relationship from the au 😢😢
i actually just got an idea from that . arakawa as alphys . i might actually do that lol bc i ship arakashi.
but on the messing up established relationships thing . it also makes me have to completley make up some ? such as axez and kirimi having an association in this au .
also if you cant tell . i realy love jerady and sigkin in this au. theyre so sweet. (i do not ship them in this au. or in general. bc that ship grosses me out.) most of the au art ive done is of them 😭😭😭 i just love them so much .
ok! i think thats all. i hope you enjoy!!! i may actually draw more for this au after i make this post . have a good day and happy holidays!
(and if i find any more art ive made for this au ill add it on in a reblog later)
#my art#art#marikinonline4#mo4#mo4 au#undertale au#technically#never thought id have my own undertale au
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This came to me in an early morning queer haze
Kissing my medics good morning (I am your husband heavy and I love you)
#tf2#team fortress 2#heavymedic#i know its super annoying for everyone when the sole medic on the team keeps pocketing heavies so as a heavy main i will say this.#to the medics in the chat: i dont expect you to pocket me and in fact you shouldn't. i suck. but! if you would it would be cool and gay and#and i will kiss you abd love you and give you yummy food and protect you like my life depends on it i will be your meat shield because you#are amazing incredible for picking medic despite the horrors. i will do everything in my power to help u. but don't pocket me i suck#i meant for that to be more meaningful and like giving advice but it got gay. but i meant all of it#when i see a medic healing me i immediately switch to shield mode my life is no longer mine i exist to protect the beautiful man behind me#thank you medics👍🏽 if u play medic i hope you have a wonderful day today everyday 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽❤️❤️#edit: i am gayer for heavy than i am for medic- but since i main heavy i am automatically attracted to medic and so this shitpost was born#so many people that play medic are apparently gay for heavy...... i feel so seen and understood
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Impulsively shoving a guy's hand in your mouth after having the thought "oh just like when my little sister used to prick herself on a rose thorn" and then immediately being treated like a pet who ate something they shouldn't have? Wonderful. Thank you, Thane.
(also not pictured is Thane apparently trying to scrape your tongue with his hand BEFORE pouring the holy water down your throat because NO. BAD.)
#bewitching sinners#palmier baker#thane verashkova#accidentally ingesting vampire blood because of big brother impulses is wild#also the reason hes so alarmed is bc in that world you kinda soulbond to others and thats how you soulbond as a vampire#you drink each others blood and so hes flipping out because while he hasnt had your blood yet#hey your ex is going to absolutely kill me if we bond on accident and i dont think i wanna die like that!#which is VERY cool to know thank you thane im so glad your concern is actually less of being bound#but about being murdered thats really cool#also the fact thane is found in the library studying with arshem my beloved ex and is BRIBED TO LEARN RECIPES#by arshem with vials of mixed blood hes just CASUALLY CARRYING is like hey man#thank you for being group mum i love you for it#and then later on arshem actually is like oh thane you can drink my blood later since you havent fed for a while#and thane is super chipper about it like HECK YEAH THANKS !#hey boys youre adorable thank you for existing in this incredibly fucked up world#im in a choke hold with this otome im sorry#you ever try to be nice to a guy and think surely this will help him a little bit then you get background lore#and you realize youre probably making things A LOT WORSE FOR HIM by being nice#im going through it with my emotions as i learn about palmiers actions pre game swap so like#dude please i am BEGGING YOU palmier please have ONE redeeming quality in you at some point#i want to adopt one of the love interests as my son though and im obsessed with the fact he can speak fish#my son can speak to the fish and he gives me fish as a present bc i might need it later#and i do actually in fact need said fish later for another quest#thankyou my son i love you and i appreciate you youre amazing#gonna have to draw arshem at some point and everyone will immediately go yeah that makes sense
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TALK SO PRETTY BUT YOUR HEART GOT TEETH!
teeth — 5 seconds of summer
no text version : D
+ the fic(s) that inspired this! (written by @insanedevotion !!!)
#tw blood#the gallery#op81#ln4#lando norris#oscar piastri#landoscar#i am literally always ALWAYS thinking of vamp!osc#i just . love vampires .......#i am not super in love with this but :/// in fact i dont like these drawings at all#whatever i gotta start posting things that i hate just to spite myself i guess#also if that author has a tumblr plze lemme know so i can tag them !!#did not occur to me to just look up their ao3 handle . my brain is mush
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pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:
the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon
to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)
the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon
pretty much everything about that gible
blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)
boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen
pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character
#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit#the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league#but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle#i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/#that battling didnt even come up once#ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one#but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me#and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just#had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we#but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc#where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass#she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask#the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy#but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own#have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent#like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward#rewarding#imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show#as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all#was kind of a shitty move#like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th#which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself#by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!!#like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there#so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall#echoed voice
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even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!
#i think it's particularly maddening bc we have seen characters be able to understand civillian matt is like. more than just Blind Man.#i am always highly aware of period typical writing and can remember the context etc etc but sometimes.#sometimes it truly. truly does drive me up the wall. especially when other characters have been capable of not being That Level#of infantalizing. again foggy still isn't much better in a lot of respects he is just as capable of and has been as infantilizing#and insulting as karen has been. for sure. on multiple occassions. no questions asked. but i dont think he does it to the extent karen does#as in we dont see it on page just as much. it's just a bit less. so we see karen focus on it far more. to an almost exaggerated extent#part of that is the romance plot of ohhh i cannot possibly love a blind man while foggy is matt;s best friend of many years#so of course it will be in the way of the stan lee and old romance comics schools of writing that this goes down and is written like this.#of course we see her focus on it a touch more in a different way bc she's still getting to know matt and hasnt witnessed him#for about like a decade(? they met in undergrad right?) function on his own the way foggy has. but jesus christ man. good god.#at a certain point even with the period time context it does just still leave a bad taste. at certain points it becomes less eye roll#and far more maddening and hard to push down. bc it is gross. no matter what time period it is.#again. both of them are pretty disrespectful towards matt about it at this point even if mostly in their inner monologues or dialogues#with each other and not super to matt's face about it every time. but still. sometimes karen drives me far more crazy about it than foggy.#becase at least foggy can in fact recognize every now and then. matt is a perfectly capable grown man who can function and thrive.#and is someone who lives independently but also can know how to get assistance when needed.#while karen at this point has never really once given matt the benefit of that assumption despite witnessing his capabilities.#because even with his act of trying to fit the image ppl have of him. he still functions within that! and shows he can do things!#and ask for help when he needs it! even within his act of making himself smaller and quieter for others.#he's still like. adult man who lives his life. and does stuff on his own time.#i cant really speak about matt on any more deeper level than that in regards to his disabilities. i am not disabled.#i only speak as a reader and someone watching what these characters do and have proven to be able to do and how they act.#so i can only talk about karen and foggy's behaviors and attitudes in that regard.#and also as a person with like. basic understanding of other ppl living their lives. that all ppl live their own damn lives however it is#like most ppl on planet earth.#i apologize if any of my wording here is bad or if i dont talk on it well as none of this in the real world stuff is my lived experience#and you are free to go hey. incorrect. think about that or word that differently.#ok i promise im done now it's just. EUGH. UGH!!!!!#static.soundz
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thank u for feeding emmk fans dhfhdvhfejd we've been in a drought since..........forever. every time u post emmk i have to pester my friend and send them the art... :p
also, just curious, opinion on emmkulia? (emma x mk x julia)
i might be one of the only people keeping emmk alive rn lmao (just WAIT until intertwined though... i promise you'll get the content the emmk nation deserves)
emmkulia... yknow – i don't really enjoy mkulia anymore (as in romantically, i really like platonic mkulia though) (explanation in tags) but mk has two yuriful hands i suppose🫂 i feel like it can be a fun little ship but i don't usually ship poly/ot3 hehe
#rambling rambling...#emmk#why i don't like mkulia – i feel like they've been just narrowed down to evil lesbians and although its fun#in my personal way i see mk - i dont really feel like she'd be willing to date julia (because she knows damn well julia is selfish)#but they'd be super close like super best friends#this is not lesbian erasure. i am a lesbian truther#hey im gonna let u in on a little secret. i yurified some old ocs today#but anyway - also its because all of mk's fanart is revolved around julia now#im petty i dont like the fact mk isnt talked about individually as much as julia is#but yeah! although i don't enjoy it anymore i still love them as a duo – julia and mk are top tier characters thats for sure
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i saw her friend today and in a way i think it really ehlped cuz she was the one who was being so kind and like 'how are you doing i know this must be hard but i still want to be friends' and it really touched me cuz iw as stressed cuz i was paranoid they were talking shit about me or smth. she also told me she was also shocked when she found out that she broke up w me so i guess it feels good knowing im not the only person kept in the dark i guess but its like if its something she couldnt even tell her friends about then what made her do it. cuz when i asekd her friend 'did she ever seem concnerd about the relationship or anything' her friend was like 'no.... not.... not really?' which idk if i fully believe but i dont think she was totally lying cuz she did seem to at least consider it. so if she wawsnt lying then i still dont understand what compelled her to dump me
#and i mean this is a friend shes CLOSE with. like super close with#and yeah there is the possibility shes lying just to keep her privacy which i understand but still like the fact even she was shocked when#she found out she dumped me ?? like that has to mean something#however when i asked 'how is she doing' her friend was like 'shes alright' and idk why but that kinda hurt#and idk if she was just saying it cuz maybe she thought it would make me feel better or if she didnt want to give too many details#or if she really truly was doing 'all right' but like what the fuck do you mean shes doing alright#like am i seriously sobbing on 1am walks around campus because i miss her and shes just doing alright????#like what the fuck#i really hope its mor ethan that because thats actually goign to break me#hres teh thing though like i dont doubt that she felt some sort of emotion cuz she was crying when we broke up and our entire relationship#she was so genuine about all of it but its also that annoying part of me thats like did she ever care#because how was she the one to tell me she wanted a relatoinship with me and how was she the one to tell me 'i love you first'#only to dump me not even 5 months later??? i just dont fucking understand any of it#im so fuckign confused about it all#all i can even hope for is that somehow she realizes she messed up and comes back to me and ill take her back immediately man#but she dosnt seem the kind to do that#i just wish i understood why she didnt want to give us even a CHANCE to fix whatever issues she thought we were havign#CUZ SHE NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANY ISSUES!!!! SO I DONT UNDERSTAND#LIKE SHE BROKE UP W ME OUT OF THE BLUE!!!! NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE???#unless her friend is lying when i asked about whether she seemed concerned#but still
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Been a while since I sent an ask but like
Shitting crying throwing up
'been a while' my brother it's been max three days we're happy to have you back tho of course (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
BUT YEAH IMAGINE id throw up (affectionate) (in pain)
#snap chats#like everyone avert your eyes so i dont get shot for what ima say next#but i aint super huge on nishiki- I ENJOY HIM ENOUGH RIGHT DONT GET ME WRONG#i just know the pain would come from the fact i know kiryu misses him a lot more so than me missing him a lot#and i love kiryu a lot so. if my guy's in pain so am i :(
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99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????
#gu6chan's musings#am i just taking the phrase too literally???? like i appreciate the thought but also.... what agitates me is the fact theres not any#when i say something among the lines of 'i think YOU'LL like this' or 'This made me think of you' like#its bc i think of THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR or think THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR would like it#again it's probably just autism brain taking figures of speech too literally but i HATE it bc it just makes me feel like#all the times i shared my interests meant nothinggggg typically i just ask 'neat; what makes you think ill like it?' and ppl start stumbling#and im like :(#whats rlly funny in this case is not only the fact i had only ever established my love of dark fantasy and mystery to this person#but they also flatout asked 'youre not really into modern media much are you' to which the answer was 'not much lol'#and i said the reasons i dont care for 'cute girls doing cute things' anime (re: k-on) is bc if i have the time to watch it then i at LEAST#wanna spend it watching a series that's???? not 'the point of it is to relax :)'??? i can sleep for that#anyways like 2 days later they said they said they think id REALLY like this new anime they've been watching lately and I was like 'oh?'#and it was yuru camp.... and internally i was like 'are you fucking kidding me' but on the outside i was like 'oh sweet what makes you think#id like it? id love some new media recommendations especially if they're newer shows bc ive been having SO MUCH TROUBLE trying to find#something interesting that isn't from 2008'#and they sent me a picture of the most generic anime girl ever and they're like 'it has really cute girls' and then i just wanted to kms#like.... this isn't bc you thought id like it; is it.....#wanted to die internally but i played it cool and was like 'oh no; i appreciate it thoughtfulness and all but i don't think this is for me'#also the time where someone recommended signalis to me and i was like 'oh?' and they were like 'YEAH its SO good the people who made it#were even INSPIRED off of Nier' KNOWING FULL WELL I DIDN'T LIKE IT AND THE AMOUNT MY ENTHUSIASM JUST DIED... i was like#'oh. well that will be a pass then' and they tried backpedaling like 'well it's not SUPER inspired; i didn't know you HATED nier :(' like#my past 15 posts on my twitter werent me realising that the game was absolute garbage and calling it the most regretful thing ive ever spent#money on during my attempted playthrough 😭 i was like 'thanks; but I'll pass' to which they then responded by promptly sending me#signalis memes i had absolutely no idea how to respond to WITHOUT making it seem like i was super annoyed so i was just kinda 😶 and didn't#reply and they were like 'sorry :(' and i was like 'haha it's okay! i just have absolutely no idea how to respond to this joke i dont#understand at ALL'#was probably one of the more awkward interactions ive ever had but genuinely speaking i was so INTERESTED until they brought up that it was#inspired by nier i literally psychically felt all the enthusiasm leaving my body from 'damn; i might actually have to look into this' to#'oh well that's a bullet dodged' did not trust the backtracking either....
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its really important to me that max remains as distinct from mighty as possible because i don't want to downplay how mighty's sacrifice really resonated with me as someone who struggles with ideation, but it's also really important to me that max still cherishes the memories of an identity that he no longer considers himself because he doesn't want to let them be forgotten. that's how he's able to be re-integrated into the family - shiro understands that they aren't the same but he also doesn't want max to have to find himself all alone, so he thinks of max as an entirely different son. ivory is probably the most hesitant to this really abrupt change, because he has the least amount of context (shirobon has already gone through the arc of acceptance in realizing that mighty is dead and max is not him) but eventually everyone is able to come to an understanding :)
#text#bomberman au#i always get so nervous talking about the incorporation of jetters in the au#mostly because i dont want to come off as insensitive!! thats not my intention!!!#jetters is super important to me i love it so much so i tried to change as little as possible#mighty and max are like the only significant changes i am being completely honest#and the only thing i actually changed was the fact that zero is just a cyborg made from mighty's body#and then he takes ma-x's name#thumbs up emoji#but yeah mighty is one of my favorite characters EVER so this is a love letter to him and his arc#rambling again in the tags IM SO SORRY
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hiii i dunno if you'll remember me but im the anon who bought pioneers of olive town instead of bg3 bc i was enjoying your fanart of it sooooo muuuuch. and omigosh ITS SO GOOD ive had such fun playing it. i ended up juggling multiple save files because it was so difficult to decide who to marry, the cast is so charming. out of the bachelors, damon and jack i think are my favourites (should i be worried abt my type that theyre both blond...?) but laura and reina are so cute amongst the girls!
YEAH YEAH I REMEMBER YOU YEAH ! I got so scared bc BG3 is such a big game and I was the reason you bought something instead of it and then never heard from you again and I thought my love of silly farming games might have ruined someone's day in the end! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!! It's so fun and I love the characters and oh man
Jack my beloved. Him and his little puns. Him and his "oh cool a ring" vs "oh my god A GIANT BEAR CARVING!" reactions. I love him so much. Funny lil blonde boy my beloved, truly. (Also Damon is wonderful, let the little guy like cats and have cats like him back challenge failed... but he still looks happy mentioning cats. Truly a mood.)
I am so happy you enjoy the game and Jack (and Reina! SHE IS SO CUTE! all the girls and boys are cute but I really liked Reina's vibes even if she's the opposite of me irl and would wear me out). THANK YOU ANON! For telling me! the follow up!
#moe talks a lot#not art#YO SERIOUSLY thank you im so glad youre enjoying it its such a fun little game#i am still v fond of how you start the game and its like hey make your farmer#and after you go through all that and do whatever design you want you dont even declare gender/pronouns until after the fact#and its just super casual about it and everyone is bisexual in your area#i love sos poot so much im v glad you are enjoying it too!#if i wasnt under threat of MORE storms today and TRYING to finish fanart i started yesterday#id draw you some sos art to celebrate (bc jack deserves it every day) but thank you sm
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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oeughhh i dont know what to think of this guy
it's not that he doesn't know boundaries, it's that he keeps shooting himself in the foot by saying too much? or he's purposefully being vulnerable as a way to repent through mc?
is he really just like that, or is he faking it all....
#I AM SO CONFLICTED#its a fact that he fantasizes about healthy&loving relationships- i dont think he has vile intentions#but he fr makes it hard to understand him#he readily admits the darker parts of himself but still skirts around his heart#at least he's not pretending everything's fine on the surface?#(anymore)? ig he used sex to numb the ennui#but still his loveydovey behavior feels super bloated#😵#i 100% get mc's suspicions of him... it's impossible to figure him out#i think he fakes his energy but not his intentions#sobs#playing this guy's route feels like being held by the neck underwater#club suicide#flora.txt
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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