#i am not good with being confronted but im doing my best
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mellohiizz · 3 days ago
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im more complex about the episode then everyone else seems to be apparently. imo they all sucked this episode.
for one, i am actually a dean sympathizer. lets be real parrot and wifies both treated him badly. i wouldnt have told parrot either when he was there constantly repeating the exact same things ash said to blackmail dean; and wifies isnt much better for affirming the shit ash told dean either, infact i would argue wifies was even worse then about it. if i was there hearing "ash was right. youre a burden, but thats ok." and "ash was right. your a burden, we should be leaving you for dead." i wouldnt want to risk jeopardizing my one source of safety either.
before the reveal that dean was actually involved in the leaking of their location wifies just came of as a semi-controlling dick. there were a million better ways all of them could have done things this episode. i dont really like the wifies glazing as if he was perfect this episode and didnt treat a fellow victim who lodgically didnt have a choice like shit. wifies is smart enough to figure out dean didnt want to sell them out. imo he had no actual reason to reason to treat dean with as little empathy as he did, especially when wifies knows exactly what its like to have his existance used to get to parrot in the exact chain of events parrot referenced after the compass was burnt.
both sides of odessy were being hypocritical and hurtful as hell and thats been a theme of uu the whole time. theyre all flawed, they are make mistakes and are selfish and hurt others doing what they think is righteous or best or safest. uu is the dichotomy of perspective, about how everyone does what they think is best and how more often then not that best hurts atleast someone. and guess what? thats life. thats actually pretty normal, especially if youve been through your own shit or are traumatized like the characters of uu are.
they all suck and hurt people, thats the moral of the story. the moral that feels very lost on most of the fandom...
-🔍🏰(f:▶️🥊)
honestly, good take. kind of made me rethink some things that happened in the episode as well.
to be fair, yes, obviously dean was treated badly the whole episode. even i noted that wifies was a bit too harsh with how he approached things the whole video. he knew that dean was leaking information, didn't tell parrot, and still tried to put basically the whole blame of it on dean. "you could argue i hid it from you" yes, wifies, you did keep it from parrot, knowing that parrot would've tried to look for a different solution.
parrot was obviously not any better. he brushed off wifies despite the other very clearly showing signs of concern and he did also openly called dean a burden. which is, yes, he was slowing them down, but i feel like there was a nicer was to go about it.
and yes, i do sympathize with dean, but he did hide a piece of pretty crucial information from them, keeping a leverage in the compass, and then ran away after being confronted. it's fair, i'm not saying he was entirely wrong for that too, but i feel like it wouldn't be fair to say anyone was fully in right/wrong.
and yeah, you're are right, the morality of characters is a pretty obvious focus on the whole uu, and obviously all of them are very flawed. taking wifies's words, we just need to try and look at things from all of their perspectives. they're all understandable, and in some ways even reasonable, but there were much better ways to go about the whole situation, but the problem was exactly that. perspective. they were all focused on their individual goals and didn't try to see everything from the perspective of others. and that's what separated all of them.
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aoki553 · 8 months ago
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i like makoto too but its... interesting, to say the least, that you feel the need to explain away and justify his actions and treatment of his sister instead of just... discussing them or explaining how you think he is mentally and/or how he can make up for his actions... regardless of his theoretical mental illness and trauma, hes STILL responsible for his own actions, and his sister never deserved to be treated that way.
long post ahead sorry about it
eh i'm trying my best to not justify him. i've just been so attached to the character and he means a lot to me so him being disregarded as a creepy siscon just bothers me yk? and i made my own posts and analysis of his mental illness i suspected... i just try to not correct or confront people about it whenver they do talk about him. that scares me lol
the thing is... he can't make up for his actions? he's a comedic relief siscon character that doesn't get any depth nor character development throughout the series. what could he possibly do to redeem himself without us having to write fanfiction about it? yes, i like to imagine him being a better brother, getting help for his disorder and issues. but that's just my interpretation of a flawed and underwritten character. and a lot of it is influenced by makokuu. but canon doesn't help much here.
he's not great, but he would've had more redeeming qualities if he wasn't a one joke character. i can't really do much about it but make up my own scenarios and stories on how he could be a good brother while acknowledging he's not a great person.
kokomi doesn't deserve to be stalked and makoto being so jealous and protective of her in his disturbed ways. i agree. but some people make him out to be some sort of sexual abuser in this scenario, which he isnt. we see domestic teruhashi siblings only what 3 times? maybe 2 more if we count them going to the movies together and on christmas... id love to see more scenarios of them just being siblings. but no. most of the scenes with him were written to be an exaggerated siscon trope. to be funny...
yes he is responsible for his actions, but he does need help. the help everyone is aware he shouldve gotten long ago before his obsession morphed his perception of whats acceptable for him to do to someone he loves and cares about. but what can we do about it when we never get to see him get better?
but at the same time i simply cannot think of him as the fanon "GUYS HE WANTS TO DO DIRTY STUFF TO HER KILL THAT PERVERT" anymore. despite his nonexisting depth, im doing my best to explore his character as much as i can.
😔 yeah, i apologize for rambling or getting defensive whenever someone gives an opinion on that one boy i have an unhealthy attachment to.
i'm likely this way due to being harassed before back when i had to pretend like i only like a purified version of makoto to not have my safety threatened. i take this stuff too personally sometimes and feel genuinely threatened, apologies. a doxxing attempt over an anime boy and opinions can fuck someone up for years yk? :(
i do love this character dearly and i know i'm getting enough weird looks in the fandom for it, its even worse when my autistic ass can't explain themselves properly, my bad..
hope this long rambling session cleared some stuff up, heres a wholesome terusibs moment <3
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thebirdandhersong · 1 year ago
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well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle
#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out#i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama#(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc#either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time#i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before#(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking#so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us#and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour#and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time#anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It#but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent#convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good#am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o#mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT#it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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I love to talk but I rly do feel like we have to be talking for a minimum of 8 hours straight before I feel like I can even begin to rly broach things on my mind or that have been bothering me a lot that I actually want to talk abt without being vague or deflecting or omitting or lying and if the conversation takes a break at any point it resets back to 0 and its still nice regardless but.
#we're all just desperately chasing each other around for a semblance of connection in this cold bleak world#but unfortunately due to the relentless crushing pressures of capitalism we also have to work so no time for that#man. sorry just frustrated n miserable now. wish i was capable of feeling close to other ppl wish i could give other ppl that connection#but instead we're just ships in the night passing by or whatever#and i have to settle with not rly being known or wanted or important in other ppls lives and its forever. btw#bc even if ppl do think they know me or do want me around or i am important to them in some way.. the specific torture labyrinth i call#home is constructed in the most elegant and precise way that im incapable of believing them to be sincere anyway#so thats all on me! if I tried harder and made more of an effort to communicate with or trust ppl i wouldnt feel this way!#but i dont so better luck in the next life i guess! this is why i dont think abt this shit bc it makes me want to kms#whats even the point man#dont even worry abt me im fine just need to fucking vent bc i dont have time to allow myself to feel anything bc i have plans tmr#so i need to go to bed early. and ill just try my best to keep distracted forever so ill never need to face how pathetically desperate#i am for any kind of emotional intimacy whatsoever and also physical contact but im not normal enough to fulfil any of my own needs#yeah well. its my life that i have to live and im the one making it this way. digging my grave and lying in it innit#its fine tho bc they make repressed fictional characters that i can project onto instead of confronting any of my issues#so ill just be here in my labyrinth doing that. while everyone else gets to see sunlight and grass and whatever#im just so tired i dont want to do this i want to pretend i dont care and dont need it and maybe itll become true. its too much for me#let me know when they need me to pilot the jaeger and drift with someone and thru our mindmelding i can finally achieve intimacy and trust#well anyway. that was embarrassing. hope it works out for everyone else#hope my flatmate gets her ideal life w our other old flatmates and finds a convenient way of discarding me from that like they want#except im going to make it as difficult as possible for as long as i can for them to get rid of me bc im selfish and want what i want so.#my obligate parasite ass. or whatever. im going to throw up if i keep thinking so thats a good place to stop and go to sleep probably#.vent#dont interact im being stupid as fuck and dont care just leave me alone thanks
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mxdotpng · 1 year ago
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much easier to imagine sora in any other tales game than it is abyss. i dont even know why. maybe its because theyre having the most miserable time of their lives in that game. who knows
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slashers-gf · 5 months ago
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I'm here for you... pt1
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I don't know it this is good or not. Sorry for any misspelling. I was trying to write this quickly 😭 Might make a part 2 of this. Hope you enjoy 🫶
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
Kenji Sato x reader
Word count: 3k
Summery: You and kenji are childhood best friends. Kenji hasn't been answering you for several days, and you start to get worried. You go to a good place to see what's happening to him and to try and help him.
"Damn it, kenji, why haven't you been answering me? It's been several days since you're not answering my texts or calls." I've been trying to contact kenji for days and nothing. Today was the day I was going to go confront him.  I got to the car and made my way to his house.
**Meanwhile with Kenji**
"Please go to sleep emi '' trying to rock emi to sleep.  "She's fussy,"  Mina says, looking at what's happening. "Oh really, i didn't notice," kenji said sarcastically. 
The baby kaiju seems to be finally settling down.  "Ah finally" seeing as it's starting to close her eyes and breathing slowed down.  
"It appears y/n has arrived and is outsode right now," showing security camera. "Damn it, why she her right now. What am i going to do about Emi? She already knows that im Ultraman. "  Looks at the sleeping kaiju and puts her back into the glass cylinder unit. "Mina, i need you to take care of Emi and hide her."  Mina follows the order and hides emi and watches over her.
"Hey, open the damn door," states to bang on the door till someone opens it. Kenji grumbled to himself before heading towards the door and opening it, leaning his muscular frame against the door frame.
"What do you want?" Kenji crossed his arms, not too pleased by your sudden presence.
"Why have you been ignoring me? I've called and texted." Stats to get angry by his attitude. Kenji avoided eye-contact and looked at everything in the room except you.
"I've been busy,"  He answered. It was a shitty excuse, but the truth. Just a lie to hide the truth. 
"Oh, busy is that it" gets more annoyed.  Kenji rolled his eyes and looked away from you once more. "Obviously."  His tone was cold and sharp. It was different from how he usually spoke to you. He was usually quite gentle and cheerful, but this attitude was the complete opposite. It was as if he was purposely trying to push you away... but why? 
"Tell me the truth, what's happening?"  Kenji sighed and gripped onto the door frame, his body language was closed off, guarded...as if he was trying to hide something 
"I told you, I'm busy,"  He said firmly, his eyes darkening. He was clearly agitated at the fact that you were questioning him.  "That's not it, and I know it,"  seeing how he is being suspicious.
  Kenji grit his teeth together and gripped the frame of the door so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He looked away again and spoke in an annoyed tone.  "Why are you so pushy about knowing everything? Huh? Just drop it and piss off already"
" Because I know when you're lying, so tell me what's wrong."  See how he was acting, and I started to get concerned about him. Kenji snapped, and the irritation that he had been pushing down had finally boiled over. He stepped forward and locked eyes with you, his voice raising*
"No! Okay!? I don't want to tell you or anyone anything and I don't plan to! Just piss off!" 
"What the hell is your problem?"  I started to raise my voice.  Kenji ran a hand down his face in frustration, scoffing. "My problem is you! You just can't seem to take a damn hint and leave!" 
"Are you fucking kidding me right now. I come here because I'm worried about you and your just going to act like a piece of shit "
Kenji's eyes darkened, and a cold, bitter laugh slipped past his lips. "You're worried about me, huh? Sure, as hell doesn't seem like it! You've been nagging me this whole time to open up like I'm some sort of sob story that needs saving!"
"Well I am fucking worried, I always have been. I'm your best friend and I'm just trying to understand and help you" lowers voice and gets hurt by what he has just said. 
Kenji's shoulders slumped, and he leaned against the door frame again. He looked tired, beyond exhausted mentally and physically. His voice was quiet and bitter.
"Well...you don't need to, okay? I'm fine..Everything's fine" he said, sighing. 
"Wow, you really are just childish and only care about yourself and not others about you? " turns about and starts to walk towards my car.
Kenji froze, his heart hammering in his chest. Why did what you said hurt so badly? He bit back the tears that began to well up in his eyes, his vision going blurry. He had been pushing you away and yet here he was on the verge of tears. He cursed under his breath, clenching a fist and quickly turned around, grabbing your wrist and yanking you back towards him. "Where are you going!?"
"Home clearly since you don't need my help with anything ."  Trying to break away from his grip. Kenji's grip on your wrist tightened as he held you firmly in place, preventing you from leaving. He hated this feeling and hated how his heart ached in his chest. Damn it...why did he feel so vulnerable around you... "Just..just stay" He said quietly
"Why? why should I if you are just going to keep lying to me over and over again? " turning back to look him in the face. 
Kenji groaned and let go of your wrist, running a hand through his raven hair as he avoided eye contact once more. He bit his bottom lip and looked off to the side, contemplating on answering your question.
"I'm not lying.."  He said in a quiet whisper. He was lying. He hadn't told you everything.. but in his heart, is that really lying?  "I just..." *He closed his eyes and let out a deep exhale  "I just don't want you to worry..." 
"I'm here for you, and I've always been since I was a kid. But I don't want to  watch you like this and treat me like shit, " I said, looking at his face. 
Kenji flinched, his eyes snapping open. He winced at your words, his heart panging once more and his stomach twisting into knots. He hated this.. Why couldn't you just listen to him and leave him alone? He didn't want you to witness his breakdown, his pain, his struggle. He was supposed to be strong... to be the one that people look up to. A broken hero.. but could he really say that?
Kenji cursed once more, grabbing your sleeve and pulling you away from the door and into the apartment. 
"Hey, let go of me," trying to get out of his grasp.  Kenji ignored your protests and tugged you into the apartment further, closing the door behind you and shutting the world outside behind him. He finally let go of you and stepped away. 
"No! You wanted to come here and now you're here. You're not leaving until you listen to me!" 
"Why should I if you are not going to tell me what's really wrong and not want my help?" Looking at kenji to see what his reaction is. Kenji clenched his fists tightly, his body growing tense. He knew you were right, and he knew he had no right to be mad at you... yet there was an anger that was welling up in his chest. His jaw clenched. "I don’t need your pity, okay?! Stop acting like I need your damn help!" He said, raising his voice.
"So you're just not going to tell me anything then?" I said as Kenji closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders slumping once more. He looked defeated. As much as he tried to keep up the tough act, he just couldn’t. He was exhausted and tired..he just didn’t know how to explain everything to you without burdening you further.
"Look...it's not that I don’t want to tell you anything..it's just..”  He couldn’t look you in the eye, choosing to look down at the ground instead 
"Go on" I said, wanting him to continue on with what he was saying. Kenji’s jaw clenched, his fingers tapping against his leg anxiously.
 Where did he even start? He thought. He closed his eyes and opened them again, staring straight into yours “Promise me you won’t say anything…to anyone, alright?:
"Yes, of course I already know your ultraman, and I haven't told anyone," getting concerned about what he was going to say to me. Kenji relaxed slightly. He had to admit he did feel relief in the fact that you already knew. He crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing. “I’m assuming you want the reason as to why I’ve been distant..correct?” Kenji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was getting a headache, and he hadn’t even started yet.. “It’ll be hard to explain, hell you might not even believe me but…”  He trailed off and sat down on the couch, motioning for you to do the same. 
I followed and sat next to him on the couch. "Kenji, you know that you can tell me anything, right?" Looking at his expression. Kenji nodded, staring down at his now clenched fists resting on his lap. He felt vulnerable, vulnerable, and terrified. Scared of what you’d think.  “I know, I know.. just..”  He swallowed his saliva, his throat suddenly feeling very dry  “Just listen, ok?” 
"Yes, of course I'll listen to whatever you say." Seeing how he was reacting, I know something major was happening to his life. Kenji breathed in slowly before exhaling. He knew he had to say it. He had no choice but to spit it out. It was better if you heard it from him rather than later.  “The reason…”  He swallowed nervously once more. “The reason I’ve been closed off and distant with you…is because I don't want you to hate me." His voice began to tremble. 
"Kenji, I would never take you no matter what happens." Seeing him like this broke my heart, knowing he was suffering, and i wasn't there to console him. Kenji shut his eyes even tighter, his body trembling as he fought the tears that welled up behind his eyelids. God, he was so pathetic. He was on the verge of tears again, and this time, his resolve finally broke. The dam of tears broke and poured down his cheeks like a waterfall as he choked out a broken response. “You’d say that now…but you won’t when you find out the truth..”
I look at Kenji and grab his hand. Kenji’s lip quivered as he felt your hand grab his, the touch of your skin against his was suddenly too much for him. He looked at you with tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy. “Damnit..”  He muttered, using his other hand to wipe away tears, but they just kept coming.. he hated how damn emotional he felt, and yet at the same time, it felt like a relief in a way.. 
"Kenji, I'm going to be here for you no matter what, so tell me so I can understand and help you, kenji."  Kenji’s heart twisted. Your words only made him feel guilty. He didn’t deserve the kindness you were giving to him, but yet here you were. Willing to listen to his story. He looked down at your hand that was holding his and gently squeezed it, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his. He swallowed hard and nodded, knowing he didn’t have a choice. He had to say it.. “Okay..okay you wanna know the truth?”
Kenji took a deep breath. This was it. There was no turning back now. He gently pulled his hand away from yours and ran a hand through his raven hair. His voice went quiet, and it was shaky as he spoke. “Please..promise me that you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. This can’t leave this room..” 
"Yes, of course I promise kenji," giving his hand a squeeze to comfort him.  Kenji closed his eyes and slowly took another breath, steeling himself to say what he knew would change everything. He clenched the couch in his fists, the soft material of the couch bunched up beneath his strong hands “Okay..here it goes…” Kenji’s chest tightened, and his heart raced. He swallowed once more before he spoke, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. “My mom.. passed away a couple of years ago..”
I stay quiet and just listen to him and what he has to say. Kenji’s eyes began to water as he recalled the memory of losing his mother. It had left a permanent scar in his heart, one that he knew would never heal. He cursed silently under his breath, squeezing the fabric of his jeans. " She was the most important person in my life. My rock..so when I lost her, it hurt like hell. And the pain didn’t go away..not even to this day..”  
" I know how hard it can be on you. You loved her very much, and she loved you, but she wouldn't want to see you crying like this. "  Kenji knew you were right. Every word you said was right. His mama wouldn’t want to see him this wreck. That was for certain, but he couldn’t help it. The pain was too damn much, and as much as he hated to admit it, he had finally reached his limit...“Why, why did she have to pass away? I just don’t understand..” He whispered, his voice cracking as he looked down at the floor, fresh tears falling down his face.
" Sometimes life doesn't go the way everyone wants it. There are going to be times when you just want to disappear from this world. But you know it's not your fault or anyone's. She loved you very much more than you think. It's okay to feel like this. You are human, too. You don't need to act strong just because you are ultraman. "  Kenji nodded, listening to your words. Sometimes, he was so used to acting tough and strong that he forgot he was just a regular person with emotions. He felt silly having a miniature breakdown, but at the same time, he felt relieved. After all, he hadn’t shared this pain with anyone before..
 He swallowed hard, looking down at his lap “I know..it’s just sometimes the pain gets too much, and I wonder why it had to happen to me. I miss her so much. Some days, I'm feel like I’m going to go crazy..”
"I know you do. I miss her, and she was like a second mom to me. Remember when she would have those game days when we were little, and she would cheer for you." Recalling those memories that we had shared together with his mom.  Kenji chuckled as the memories came flooding back. The game days, they were always his favorite…he couldn’t believe you remembered them too. He smiled warmly, his dark eyes gleaming with sadness.
“Yea I remember…we would get so rowdy that sometimes it would get out of hand, and we’d get in trouble. I swear I’ll never forget that time when we both broke the vase…and mom yelled at us like hell..”
"You have many fun and happy memories with her. She always wanted you to be happy."  Kenji nodded, the corners of his mouth curving into a small smile. There were many happy memories, and he had to admit that. His mind began to recall one after another.. their laughs, their games, their fun days…but as quickly as those happy memories came, the pain came rushing back.  “I know.. I know she wanted me to be happy, but hell. It’s just so damn hard without her..”
"It's okay to feel like that, but you can't just push everyone that cares about you away," I said, looking at him and how he was quiet. Kenji stayed silent, his eyes downcast once more. Deep down, he knew it was true. Every word you said was true. But he didn’t know why he was so scared of accepting it. The thought of losing someone again, the thought of losing you.. “You’re right..but look where it gets me..I’m just a wreck..”
"I'm here for you to lean on me," I said, knowing that no matter what, I was going to stay by his side.  Kenji looked up at you once more, his jaw tensing. A part of him wanted to keep pushing you away and hide his vulnerability away.. but the other part just wanted to pull you into his arms and not let go. “Why? Why are you still here? Why are you still bothering me..? I’ve been nothing but a jerk to you..” 
"I don't know, I've been with you my whole life. You're someone precious to me, and I don't want that precious someone to suffer in front of me, " I said, smiling at him.   Kenji’s lip trembled, your words of kindness overwhelming him. He had a feeling you’d say something cheesy like that..yet at the same time, it was just the truth. You stuck by his side through everything, and he realized how many times he probably took your friendship for granted.. “Damnit..”  He muttered quietly, looking off to the side. “You’re far too nice for your own good, you know that?” 
"Really!? I think I'm just doing the right thing. " I said while laughing.  Kenji rolled his eyes and managed a small laugh in response to yours. Your optimism always got the best of him, even in the darkest of times. But deep down, he felt grateful. I am grateful that you hadn’t given up on him, even when he had pushed you away. “Yea yea you’re always right like the smartass you are..”  He said, shoving your shoulder lightly. 
"Don't call me that," I said while flicking his for heard with my finger.  Kenji flinched when you flicked his forehead, rubbing the spot and pouting at you. He huffed and folded his arms across his chest, scowling at you. "Ow damn’t..” He grumbled, his lips twitching in an almost smile* “Oh come on, you know you love me calling you that." I slightly blushed at this but looked the other way so he couldn't see. 
"Ya ya, whatever, so are you going to keep pushing me away?" I asked, looking at him for a reply. *Kenji stayed quiet for a few moments, his mind racing as he tried to come up with some snarky retort, but the words got lost somewhere in his throat. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, admitting his defeat* 
“No, No I’m not going to keep pushing you away..”  He said, his voice quiet. “It was stupid of me, anyway. You’re right, I’ve been a jerk and I’m sorry..”  He looks down at his lap. "Wow, the infamous kenji Sato said sorry to sorry one," I said, smirking. *Kenji rolled his eyes and huffed, smacking your shoulder this time* 
“You’re lucky I’m being nice right now, or I’d knock that smirk right off your face..”  He scowled half-heartedly, his dark eyes flickering with a hint of amusement. Despite his rough exterior, the truth was that he really missed this. Missed being around you like this...
"So are you going to tell me why you smell like fish and barf?" I said, looking at him up and down.  Kenji froze in shock. 
“Ah crap..”
To be continued...
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genderqueerdykes · 4 months ago
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i was asked recently to describe what my experience is as a trans man with visible facial hair who dresses very femme and wears makeup whenever i go out. i thought this was a good question, since i don't think i've ever discussed my experience with this. i know public restrooms are a huge source of stress for a lot of trans people, they're stressful for me at times as well, which is why i try to avoid them when possible.
i will say that i am lucky enough to not have a bad experience using public restrooms. it might be because im rather physically intimidating, having a lot of muscle tissue and not being particularly short, it's hard to say. generally, i use the men's room, even if i'm in a dress or skirt. i don't make eye contact or particularly even look in the direction of other people using the restroom, which i find makes it easier.
looking nervous and making eye contact can, for whatever reason, threaten cisgender people and i'm not sure why. public restrooms are stressful for everyone, not just trans folk. i will use the women's bathroom if the men's bathroom is full, or disgusting, but that happens very rarely. i have also had no issues with using the women's restrooms. even when i lived in Missouri which is a red state, I didn't seem to have issues because I walked in and out with confidence and ignored whoever else was in or around the restroom with me
long hair generally isn't an issue from what I've observed because a lot of men nowadays are wearing their hair long. generally speaking, the voice is one of the most gendered part of us and I have no idea why, but it helps to keep any comments or conversation to an absolute minimum- having no conversations or interactions is ideal. if someone says "excuse me" or something to that effect, nod or shrug or respond with body language instead of verbal language.
i would say utilizing the masks we use for covid is one of your best shots at making the experience a lot less stressful. covering up any potential facial hair, a strong jaw, etc. can help a lot with people minding their own business. this is not to say that if you just mind your business and try to avoid other people that they won't react. but i find the process goes smoother whenever you have something that can obscure part of your face (I'd say even putting your hood up if you have one could help in a pinch).
if someone does decide to cause problems: leave the restroom as quickly as possible. pull out your phone and make it look like you are calling for help (or actually call for help). people who start trying to cause problems generally do not want witnesses. do not confront them or attempt to correct them about your gender. this will only make them angrier. do not let them corner you. slip out from beside them if you have to. do not push or touch them unless they have grabbed, pushed or hit you first.
tell staff of the location you are at that someone is being belligerent in the restrooms- if you don't want to mention it's due to transphobia, you don't have to. but if you feel the location is accepting enough, please do, because that can get you help right away. if you live in an area that's not as progressive, just refer to how violent the person is being and skip the gender talk.
i feel like this isn't super informative, but i hope it helps some folks out there. i know how stressful this can be and it can't be avoided all the time. the best we can do is try to do our best to avoid confrontation altogether, and when it happens, get witnesses and support as quickly as you can. i hate that we have to tell each other these things just to use the bathroom in public. it's asinine. but i hope this helps at least one person
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dualityvn · 2 months ago
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Hi, I'm asking this off anon for the first time just for the boy's sake.
Im not good with sugar coated words, I feel like I can't make them feel meaningful coming from me, so I'm just going to say thay I support you, Keith. I'm proud of you for setting your foot down to those who've wronged you and actively toy with your feelings.
It's valid to feel like that, and as someone who struggles with both anger issues and a non confrontational nature, it's nice seeing that at least you have a way to express your emotions
You shouldn't feel guilty for doing so, those of us who love you understand that you need this and it also wouldn't be fair since you've been nothing but acomodating for us, it's our turn to be acomodating for you
Know that I'm not leaving, and I choose to stand by your side, both of your sides at your best or at your worst
Let me know if you need anything okay?
Also, thank you Tenebris for keeping a cool head with all of this, it just comes to show how much you guys apreciate each other
I'm here for both of you whatever you may need
"I... I can't say I am not at fault. I'd be lying if I said I'm not weak. I don't trust myself to keep people at my side by being myself. And I don't trust myself to be okay if they leave. So why should anyone trust me in turn? It's just that it's hard... to trust myself." - Keith
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rs8ndead · 3 months ago
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❛ Drummer boy ❜
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" anyone tell you you’re pretty..? "
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── ﹙ 𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ SUMMARY.﹒⟢ ⸻ dating Rodrick <3
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ PAIRING.﹒⟢ ⸻ rodrick heffley x gender neutral reader
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ A/N.﹒⟢ ⸻ comments & reblogs urged⠀·⠀request a bot⠀★☆ I have written all of this out just from the pure boredom that I go through on a constant, daily basis, and because I have am also very touched starved for affection and bored and want to write and I have a constant fuel for writing and for roleplaying, but I have so many google doc’s for my original characters that I have to finish and i wanna get into a friend group without getting to weird and to attached to other people. Anyways I have no brain cells to write a proper sentence nor do I have the proper brain cells to come up with some jaw dropping title that will make people go like “oh wow that’s a super cool title… wish I came up with that title” BUT NOOOOOOO I came up with drummer boy, and it’s going to stay like that for a while until I come up with something better. I’m going to make a bot for these headcanons by the way THEYRE TO GOOD RO NOT MAKE BOTS FOR. Anyways I have to go back to school tomorrow because I accidentally stepped on my glasses and the leg came off and then another day the other leg of my glasses randomly fell off so I almost missed an entire week and now I am being informed I’m going back to school tomorrow so I have to switch bags because I’m not going back to school having a juicy couture bag and a plush backpack while having the face of an abomination because I’ll just look like some weird weeb with an anime fetish and I also have to make a bunch of focuses for my apps so nobody knows my deepest darkest secret: I run a tumblr blog and post headcanons and all that stuff. I have so much on my plate right now but it’s okay. I’m sorry if any of the bots are weird with their replies, IM SORRY😭
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none ( ;´ - `;)
→﹐ 𓏵﹒ WHO REQUESTED.﹒⟢ ⸻ no one ( ;´ - `;)
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ © ❛ rs8ndead . she/her
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🥁  ⸺  Rodrick, who’s like a touch starved puppy, always following his lover around as if he were afraid of losing them if he were to be separated from them.
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୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺  literal definition of ‘written by a woman’ that’s been mashed up with a touch starved puppy who just wants some belly rubs along with an emo guy. He’ll follow his partner around, offering to carry their stuff and also compliment his partner because LISTENNN. he’s a very yappery type of man when it comes to complimenting his partner, and I think he’d have quite the emotional attachment to his partner
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ if his partner likes music playing at their birthday parties ( IF HIS PARTNER CELEBRATES THEIR BIRTHDAY ) then Rodrick will make subtle hints at him wanting to have his band perform at his partners birthday party, from nudging their shoulder and stuff, and if his partner doesn’t get the hint then he will practically go on his knees and beg his partner to let him play for their birthday party ( please do, he’ll make it worth it. )
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ most likely would have the mentality of a freshman attempting to appear cool to the upper grades, he’d try to steal things from stores that his significant other shops at and if he’s confronted about it by his partner he’ll be all like “whattttt?? pschhh.. no, I didn’t stea- yeah I stole.” He can’t help but tell the truth to his partner, he hates lying to them. I MADE A BOT FOR THIS HEADCANON
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ best. person. to gossip with!! ( if his partners into that ), he’ll probably forget about it almost immediately so don’t worry about him telling others about it, and it’s not like he has people to tell it to ( except for his band mates, who would be brushing him off and be like “he’s in love love😭” )
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ when he’s hanging out with his band, he’ll sometimes be like “I miss them,” “it’s been what, a few minutes without them?”
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ I like to think that he would read some very cheesy poetry to his lover from his lovers window, not poetry that he’s came up with be because he’s obviously to dumb for that, but he’ll read some poetry from a poetry book while some flower petals of his partners favorite flowers are scattered all over him and he’d definitely have one of his bandmates Chris or Ben hiding somewhere and spraying water on him to make it seem like it’s raining for it to be very dramatic as he’s busy trying to pronounce words that are out of his vocabulary while the pages are getting wet from the water spraying onto it, because of him looking at the book most of the time while he’s trying to read to his partner sappy love poetry, he looks like a pastor ( he didn’t memorize the poetry which was his plan, but OOPS!!!!!! he didn’t remember. ) I MADE A BOT FOR THIS HEADCANON
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ he burns cd’s for his partner, 100%, definitely, he’s an emo or either punk guy, NO DOUBT ( I love that band they’re super good but that’s not the point ), his first ever burned cd given to his partner had some cheesy line written on it ( “drowning in your eyes”, thanks to his mom happily helping him make it up ) along with his and his crushes initials and along with the day they would both get together, so for like example: ‘drowning in your eyes: R+V & 2/14/13’ ( my OC’s initial + the day Rodrick and her got together ), and the songs that Rodrick would burn onto the cd would be ‘I’m not okay ( I promise )’, ‘Vampires will never hurt you’ + ‘This is the best day ever’ all by My Chemical Romance, ‘last night on earth’ by Green Day, ‘the middle’ by Jimmy Eat World, along with some favorite songs of his partner that he’s taken the time to learn. HERES THE LINK TO THE PLAYLIST !! & I MADE A BOT FOR THIS HEADCANON
୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒
🥁  ⸺ literally like a schoolgirl in love, in private he’s a giggling mess about his partner and kicking his feet up, but quickly switches sides if someone walks in on him and denies over and over, even if they find out. “Deny deny deny, even if they find out… deny.”
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@rs8ndead
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officallunar · 1 year ago
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A Thief's Heart: Returning Stolen Hearts
Synopsis:
In the land of Teyvat, where adventure and friendship thrive, you find yourself entangled with the Traveler and the various heroes of Genshin Impact. You have a unique hobby - you enjoy "borrowing" items from the characters in the game, but your intention is always to return them, often with heartfelt notes attached.
Gn reader x some of the genshin men and women (separated)
(I lost count on how many people I am doing)
You mostly embark on a journey with them,on the way there, you would secretly take something from them, for example;their items.
Diluc would be confused at first before knowing that you have taken one of his belongings. As you continues to "borrow" items from Diluc, he can't help but chuckle at your audacity. He honestly think that it’s adorable but won’t say it out loud.
Kaeya might playfully tease you when he discovers your secret.
"Ah, so it seems we have a little mysterious thief among us. I must admit, your antics are quite entertaining."
When Childe finds out, he bursts into laughter, finding your actions both amusing and endearing.
"Haha, you've certainly caught my attention in the most unconventional way. I can't help but admire your spirit."
Venti, the bard, would probably respond with a whimsical comment like,
"Ah, stealing hearts as well as items, aren't you? Your mischievous charm is truly captivating."
Albedo might approach the situation with scientific curiosity.
"I find your actions quite intriguing. It's as if you're conducting a unique social experiment."
When Xiao first realizes that you have been taking and returning items from him, he might furrow his brows in confusion. After awhile you might see him crack a rare, small smile. (Please tease him)
Upon discovering your secret activities, Zhongli would approach the situation with a keen sense of curiosity. He might leave you a rare and exquisite Geo related artifacts out of admiration (he finds your joy of “borrowing” his things adorable)
Ayato, upon learning of your actions, takes it upon himself to investigate discreetly. He finds your behaviour cute and wonders about your motives .
When Alhaitham confronts you, his demeanor is measured, but he adds a soft touch of affection, saying,
"I must admit, I find your actions intriguing, and they've piqued my curiosity. Could you enlighten me about your motivations?"
Bennett would react with enthusiasm.He thinks that you're like a lucky charm and always returning what you take. Your positivity is contagious, and he can't help but admire your optimism.
Razor, while initially be confused, could express admiration with sincerity, saying,
"You not take. You return. Good friend. Razor likes."
Eula, though would be initially confused,but she will hide it by saying “Vengeance will be mine” (yeah im sure we all know what she is going to say)
Yanfei, a skilled legal advisor, may initially see your actions as legally ambiguous. However, she's impressed by your commitment to balance and might offer legal advice to help to your continuous actions within Liyue's laws.
Ganyu, being a diligent worker, becomes curious when she notices your activities in Liyue. She quietly investigates, wondering about your motives.She finds it cute and adorable often smiling when she see you sneakily sneaking off with her stuff.
Yae Miko, always on the lookout for interesting stories, takes notice of your actions and becomes intrigued.She would probably tease you abit or so
Im not really good at writing as it is my first few times writing a fanfic but I hope you enjoyed reading this!You can take this idea and write it if you want,I do not mind,but if you ever do write,I wanna read it 🥳����. I was reading a fanfic by @thatdeadaquarius and just got the idea to write it,it’s not the best lol. It’s not that I like Childe,it’s just that he is easier to write.
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all-pacas · 4 months ago
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i read all your house fics over the past few days and i love your style of writing. the dialogue fits the characters and show so well, idk what it is about it but it just clicks in my head and i can hear their voices while i read it. and all of their internal monologues are just perfect. i love the grasp you have on the ducklings' backstories and motivations its seriously inspired :))
now im trying to work on the oneshot idea ive been stewing over for an entire year, about chase being house's only fellow pre-canon, which seems like a weird and absurd situation to me. the idea is that something must have happened for him to basically be secured as house's fellow, but he also has to realize himself that he passed house's mysterious criteria. any specific tips for writing him? especially younger him?
Oh wow that’s so flattering! And SUCH a good idea for a fanfic, I’m also lowkey obsessed with the mysterious year (!) Chase spent with House pre-series lmao. Like I think we all agree, there’s no way House would have kept him just because his dad called, right? I actually can’t think of a way to get someone fired faster than telling House he has to employ this kid.
I have no idea for tips, because I feel like I still kind of am like ??? when it comes to Chase. But I’m also always happy to yell about god’s least favorite princess:
Chase is kinda passive-aggressive! He will do his best to avoid and freeze out his problems. When everyone is trying to talk to him about his dad, he ignores, refuses to engage, literally walks away. When House confronts him about the nun in S1, Chase doesn’t actually confirm that he’s Catholic, even: he just changes the subject to “I bet the nun’s boss knows about her.” By implication, he confirms House is right, but he never says shit. He’s private as hell. Likewise, he gets touchy when people “pry.” We also see it in his relationship with Cameron, to an extent: it bothers him for a long while that she never makes him feel welcome at her apartment, but he doesn’t say anything, just lowkey makes sure they’re always at his. 
He also tends to be conflict avoidant. When Cameron and Foreman are fighting over the “stolen” article, they both try to get him on their side, and he tells them both what they want to hear. He doesn’t defend himself against House’s bullying, Foreman tells him to his face a couple of times that he doesn’t like him and Chase says nothing. However, this doesn’t mean he’s that easy going. We see with his dad he will hold a fucking grudge forever — even in S5 he’s talking about how much he hated him, and in S8 and how he talks about his mother, we see he hasn’t stopped hating her, either. Also he calls out Foreman a couple of times, either by just being a little bitch (telling a patient “Foreman doesn’t like me either” while Foreman is right there) or by just laying things out for him (S7′s “oh, you think you’re better than me?” stairway rant). It also doesn’t mean Chase is totally spineless and has no boundaries. With Cameron, he actually dumps her when she tries to avoid him over the engagement, and has no problem calling off the wedding over sperm-gate. When things matter to him, he’ll stand up for himself; he just prefers to freeze out or avoid conflict. He also has no problem in confronting House when he feels like it. He’s not very scared of House, House just doesn’t bother him.
He also gains more… let’s call it confidence… as time goes on. Chase always seems to be pretty secure in his self-worth and idea of himself (and NEVER willingly opens up to other people), but over time he definitely becomes a little punchier. In S1-3 he’s willing to just sort of roll his eyes and take it when things happen, but by S4-5 he’s happy to call House or Foreman out and argue instead of just letting things go (passive-aggressively). He never gets any better at emotional honesty (his “punch House instead of talking about his divorce” thing is straight out of his S1 daddy issues playbook), but he does grow something of a spine. I imagine before the show started, he was even less prone to fighting back beyond snarky comments.
He genuinely finds House funny. He almost always laughs at House’s stupidest jokes, and as much as he’s accused of being an asskisser, he. Really just does think House is funny. Foreman and Cameron hardly ever react to House’s little comments, Chase is always grinning along. This is important. Chase’s sense of humor sucks! He is an idiot! He likes House. In S1 he says he likes how direct House is, there’s the way he always laughs at House’s jokes, he is absolutely a huge suck up also but he also likes House. I think pre-canon this was absolutely still the case. House comes in all prepared to make this little nepo-baby cry and instead Chase not just imprints on him but thinks he’s so funny and admires how mean he is and how smart he is. Chase really likes his job. He says it a lot, but I don’t know if it gets focused on all that much. He ratted to Vogler because he wanted to keep his job, he makes comments many times about how he won’t risk his job. He likes working for House, he wants to keep doing it, he will ass-kiss and work hard and throw people under the bus to keep it: with the Vogler situation, he was pretty willing to fight Cameron for it, and he and Cameron usually get along!
He’s very observant when he wants to be. He gets House; from his little monologue to Wilson in Private Lives we see he basically can analyze “House is looking at a book” and figure out it’s a fake book and that House is really invested in it. In S3, he’s able to pick apart House and Foreman’s resignation drama over like. Two sentences. In ‘Nobody’s Fault’ in S8, Chase is pissed with House (for really the first time ever), but also sees through his excuses to do differentials in the OR as excuses for House to check in, he knows House is worried: in S5, Chase realizes House is broken up about his father’s death without even seeing him. This is also something House appreciates about Chase, a lot. He says in S3 it’s why he hired him; House also tends to “reward” Chase by being pretty honest with him. When Chase asks him something, House usually answers him honestly. (with Foreman’s resignation, as soon as Chase calls him out, House admits it and they have an honest conversation on what House should do next; in S5, House wants a surgery done for personal reasons and admits it and why when Chase asks.) 
I think part of this is because Chase actually very rarely does ask House anything, and he never makes demands on House or his feelings. He accepts at face value that House is “fine” during Detox, he doesn’t try and fix or change him, in “Half Wit” when the others are scheming to get House tested or make amends with him, Chase tries (and fails) to act normal, and then just wants a hug. Compare like. Cameron, who keeps trying to change or push House into acting how she wants him to act (blackmailing him into a date, for example). I’m not saying House doesn’t care about her, just. House is more open with Chase than he is with a lot of people who aren’t Wilson. Also, Chase does not return the favor. He literally ran up the stairs rather than tell House about his daddy issues, lmao. It’s kind of crazy that House is arguably more open and honest with Chase than vice-versa.
Finally, despite all his secret seething passive-aggression and daddy issues, and the fact that honestly Chase could really benefit from therapy and anti-depressants? He is not a sad uwu baby. This is sort of a general rant, but. You see it all the tiiime in fanfic. And yes, he’s super fucked up. But he’s cheerful most of the time! He likes doing crazy things, he is often pretty sarcastic and makes bad jokes! He’s a flirt, even before his S7 manwhore days — in early seasons we see him check out girls in the hallways, flirt at parties, with residents and nurses. He has hobbies (he’s fairly sporty, if Cameron’s “your apartment was decorated by a drunk rugby player” comment is anything to go on), he likes to read and do crossword puzzles and surfs and skis. He tells bad jokes. He tends to be fairly self confident — he doesn’t just take it when he’s accused of making mistakes, he has no problems with social situations or interactions, he hilariously thinks women are attracted to his personality and not his looks, like, he thinks he has a winning personality, that’s incredibly funny. He’s not arrogant in that he doesn’t really have much of a need to prove himself (he’s pretty fucking unambitious, actually), but he definitely has the Good Looking Rich Kid mentality where he thinks he belongs in any given situation and that people like him. He also has the social skills to back it up. Because he represses and avoids and seethes instead of expressing emotions, he comes off as generally cheerful and laid back, you know? Why be sad when you can just repress everything and flirt with nurses instead!
Finally finally: he's a huge fucking crybaby. Have you seen how red his eyes get. He might try to be stoic and repress but he tears up at the drop of a hat. First time House bullied him he probably started to cry.
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sturniolo04 · 1 month ago
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The Confession 2 C.S.
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Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader
A/N: I tried something different :)
*Really long you have been warned.
we finally met up with the triplets at some outdoor shopping plaza to hang out and ever since having that conversation with Madi and confronting  her about matt it kind of made me feel relieved a little because i have been best friends with madi for a while now we pretty much know almost everything about each other like i know how down bad madi is for Matt and how she literally is the bestest friend anyone can ask for so me feeling this way about someone that she is extremely close with feels wrong especially since he has no feelings for me what so ever and of course i could never tell madi this because it would force me to come between something that could literally mess everything up.. 
"hey you okay"
he asks jess interrupting her thoughts
"yeah why do you ask"
"you seem stressed out about something"
"no why would i be stressed i mean i tell you guys everything"
you state rather quickly
"okayy anyway should we spy on Matt and madi they have been acting extra weird lately"
"like in a good way or bad way"
"i dont know thats why we should find out"
"oh my god nick my mom is in town for fucks sake we dont need anything to go down while she is here lets just enjoy our time okay"
you huff out chuckling at your best friend
"what ever you say"
he replies walking off to catch up with madi and Matt as Chris catches up to jess places his arm around her over her shoulder as she slightly jumps at the sudden contact
"did i scare you"
he chuckles
"no you scare me never"
"okaayy well you like jumping ten feet says otherwise"
"shut up chris"
you state smacking him playfully in the stomach as he pretends to be hurt from that minor attack
"how are you doing"
you state looking at matt and madi walking rather quickly leaving behind nick and your mom
"oh im fine totally fine"
"you dont have to lie"
you state looking up at him 
"im not i was being stupid yesterday madi and matt belong to together"
he replies making eye contact with you
"okay then"
you says quickly breaking eye contact with him getting nervous as you look up to see that matt and madi disappeared
"what the fuck where did they go"
"they'll be back eventually its madi and matt theyre probably just being weird"
"hey you two where do you guys want to eat dinner i didnt realize i have to head back to LA tonight and couldnt track down madi to let her know"
"umm its up to you since you are visiting where do you want eat"
you state subconsciously grabbing chris' hand seeing his arm is still around over your shoulder
"no seriously its up to you guys"
  "we could just go to Mcdonalds" 
"thats fine" 
"oh and madi went to the bathroom"
"with matt"
she asks confused to why they would go together
"okay then we will just wait for them i guess i cant leave without saying goodbye"
"no of course not"
you state as nick finally makes eye contact with you and chris' hands joined together thinking:
"holy shit i am just now realizing it. Jess is totally crushing on chris! it make sense as to why she has been acting weird i mean she had been acting kind of weird since everything last night but i didnt realize it till now she's literally comfortably holding his hand right now and may not even fully realize it holy shit"
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"okay matt come on"
she giggles out as Matt slightly backs her into a wall proceeding to make out with her which they previously were doing
"what no one is going to catch us here"
he says looking around and leaning back in as she wraps her arms around his torso allowing him to kiss her again then pull away
"okay but jess' mom and jess are already suspicous so we cant be doing this right now while she is still in town"
she complains as he proceeds to kiss her neck lightly
"okay fine"
he sighs pulling away from her completely as her phone goes off
"her mom says she leaving tonight we have to go"
"okay but first"
he trails off pulling her in one more time into his lips
" what the fuck"
he exclaims as they both look towards him
"nick its not what it looks like"
"well it looked like you and my triplet brother were swapping saliva madi"
he complains
"okay so maybe"
she trails off
"are you two dating then"
"uhh yeah"
he trails on looking at madi
"dont tell chris or jess"
"oh im not saying anything how are you going to tell chris madi"
"he said he was fine with it and that he was joking'
trails off looking at her feet
"are you mad"
"what no madi youre my best friend im happy for you whatever you decide okay"
he says bringing her into a hug
"but for real jess and her mom is ready to go eat and pack her stuff up to leave"
"okay lets go then"
she states as matt grabs her hand walking back to the parking lot
we walk back to the parking lot and before we could fully make it into the parking lot i saw Jess literally fawning over chris Madi could see from a mile away and she didnt know how to feel to be honest
"no way"
"so you see it too its not just me"
"see what"
she states oblivious
"jess and chris"
"oh hm whatever"
"whatever you mean you dont feel any way about at all"
"i mean no its not-"
"oh my god there you guys are you ready to go"
"yeah uh is it okay if i ride with Matt"
"uh sure sweetie thats fine i think jess is riding with me i guess do you want me to ask her if she wants to join you"
"no i mean no its okay"
"i'll see you guys back at the house"
"yeah"
she replies softly as she walks back to matt's car
"wow youre totally uncomfortable about all of this arent you"
"what no nic shut up im sitting up front with matt"
she states abruptly walking to the van with matt following her
"hey are you-"
you trail off as madi walks over to the van climbing in the front seat with matt on the drivers side
"that was weird do want me to ride with you then since she claimed my spot next to matt"
he asks looking at jess still focused on madi's facial expression
"uh i mean you dont have to if you dont want to" 
you state moving away from him a little to get in the car you were standing next to 
"ill come with we are all going to the same place anyway"
"okay cool we ready to go"
"um yeah i guess"
you reply quietly as chris sits oddly close to you
"matt said we could go back to the house they are going to pick up food" 
he states as he turns off his phone
"okay then to the house it is"
she states proceeding to pull out of the parking lot
"you okay jess"
"huh yeah its whatever"
"you sure you seem bothered"
"no im not i just nevermind"
you trail off keeping your feelings to yourself seeing that madi already is mad about something
"okay question"
she trails off as chris and jess look up
"are matt and madi you know actually"
"i dont think so at least they havent said anything if they were or not"
"i dont think they are but they are acting really weird"
"almost as weird as your acting jess whats up"
"nothing chris even if i wanted to tell you i couldnt okay"
 you huff out opening your phone distracting yourself
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madi honestly didnt know why the whole chris and jess thing set her off so much i mean matt is apparently her boyfriend now so she shouldnt be mad about it although she couldnt shake the feeling of the fact jess literally hasnt thought to bring up any feelings she might even have for chris to her. we were sitting in the mcdonalds drive thru waiting for the food as madi was completely zoned out in thought
"helllo madi"
"earth to madison"
"hmm"
"your upset arent you"
"what no i mean i dont know what i feel honestly im not jealous im not mad at her"
"but you completely ignored her"
"because i dont know what to say 'oh hey jess you totally like chris you were basically fawning over him in the parking lot' like no"
she states shaking her head and turning to make eye contact with the two boys in the car with her
"just talk to her its probably not even what you think"
"nooo"
"what do you mean no nic jess is little like a little sister to us you know that"
"she was acting really weird this whole weekend i just didnt say anything because you know its jess"
"again why didnt she feel like she could tell me this"
"again maybe just ask her you two are really close she probably had her reasons"
he states looking at madi then matt
"so yall are dating now then it finally happened"
"yeah matt i guess we are dating apparently now"
she says raising her eyebrow at the boy
"yeah we are"
he states passing her the drink she order with the words 'will you be my girlfriend' written on the cup
"oh my god matt" 
"what"
he states looking at what she is looking at
"oh my god thats so cute" 
"yes matt i would love to be you girlfriend"
she states placing the cup in the cupholder in the car kissing matts cheek as he began to leave the drive thru to head home.
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We have been back at the house for a while waiting the food to get here and i have been staying away or rather avoiding Chris. Have you guessed the secret i have been keeping if it hasnt already been obvious which is probably why madi is mad at me currently well i dont know if thats why she mad and ignoring me and im just getting my head too much. i was currently upstairs pacing in madi's room waiting for her come back as soon as i heard the door open slightly to her room i hoped it was her
"are you okay"
"chrisss"
"what i was just checking in on you you have been up here for a while"
"i thought you were madi"
"okay seriously jess sit" 
he states as she does so on madi's bean bag in her room him sitting next to her
"whats going on with you are you upset that madi ignored you just talk to her"
he states looking at jess as she maintained eye contact with her nails
"well no"
you trail off
"what is it then"
he asks looking at you next to him
"the problem is you chris" 
you exclaim as he looked confused
"you are my problem chris"
"wh-what how am i your problem"
"its nothing nevermind"
you state getting in her head again getting up off of the bean bag going downstairs to be met with finally
"jess we need to talk"
 she states quietly as you nod your head as she grabs your hand leading me out the door to the driveway
"Jess listen you know you can tell me anything i mean it i wont get mad at you"
" i know i just feel like a bad friend if i told you what i have been keeping from you"
"what is it j"
"i-i"
you trail off as your mom walks out
"hey you two.. are you guys okay"
she states noticing tears and facial expressions as she walks over and gives them both a hug as jess breaks eye contact with madi and regaining it as your mom does the same thing
"Madi.. i like Chris"
"wh-what you like chris "
she repeats as she finally looks up at her after maintaining eye contact with the ground
"yeah"
"wow"
"how how long"
"umm the whole time"
  "and you didnt tell me jess why"
"i just i dont know i saw you and how you and chris were acting before he confessed to you and i just knew he wouldnt like me like that im like their little sister which hurts so bad"
you state truthfully breaking down in tears
"aww jess"
she says bringing you into a hug as you bawls your eyes out into her shoulder as she rubs your back
"are you mad madi"
"no jess i was just hurt you couldnt feel like you could tell me that  i saw you in the parking lot with chris i knew" 
she giggles a little
"plus im dating matt"
"wait"
"what i just asked if you were"
"yeah"
  "thats amazing so"
"he's all yours"
she states referring to chris
"but i cant tell him even after knowing him for at least a year now before we moved to boston i still get nervous"
"is it the blue eyes that make you nervous"
she giggles knowing she still cant maintain eye contact with Matt because of that
"yeah"
you giggle out
"well sweetie you tell him when the time is right and that time will come"
she states kissing both jess's and madi's forehead
"well i hate to be the bearer of bad news"
jess looks up at her
"youre leaving"
you sigh out
"i know love bug i will be back eventually for what its worth i loved visiting you and meeting your new friends and reuniting with your olds ones"
she trails off referring to Madi giving her a side hug
"okay bye loves"
 she states pulling away from the girls getting in her car driving away.
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poorlittleyaoyao · 10 months ago
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is jgy different in the books than in the untamed? sorry if u haven’t read them im kind of just assuming u have even tho i haven’t lol but i was wondering if his characterization has any major differences like how wwx in novel vs untamed they sort of sanitize him and take away any culpability and honestly some of his edge. just curious if there’s any major differences in his characterization between the two
I'm not the best person to answer because I've only read the first two volumes of MDZS. Short answer: Yes, he is different, and in fact gets the reverse of WWX's treatment: Drama JGY is more overtly villainous than Novel JGY. However, IMO it's a little more complicated than that!
(Novel enjoyers, please chime in if I'm forgetting or misrepresenting anything.)
A lot of JGY fans greatly prefer the novel and feel that The Untamed did him dirty, because a lot of the show's plot changes that make WWX look better make JGY look worse. Jin Zixuan's death is the most glaring one: in the novel, WWX really does lose control of WN because he overestimates his abilities, and it's a tragic accident. JGY and SMS's implied involvement in the Massacre at Nightless City also doesn't happen in the novel; that, too, was a devastated WWX wreaking havoc and/or losing control. The novel also establishes that JGY is subject to abuse within Jinlintai, so there's an element of duress that one can read into his actions under JGS. Novel NMJ behaves more aggressively towards JGY than he does in the show, so his murder doesn't have the same tinge of malice. (The novel timeline also has JGY and LXC meeting before JGY and NMJ, all during Sunshot, so there's that.) Additionally, the novel tells us that JGY is genuinely a very good leader once he's Chief Cultivator and has implemented policies that have improved the lives of regular people and contributed to political stability. We're also told more about his childhood and his love for his mother, and we learn that his relationship with QS is a tragic love story (he doesn't know they're related until after she's pregnant) rather than something he went through with anyway. So in the novel, he's got a lot of positive things going for him that censorship didn't allow to carry over into the show for fear of having too much moral ambiguity.
HOWEVER!!!
The thing about the novel (and why I don't vibe with it as much) is that it's very much WWX's story, whereas The Untamed spends wayyyyy more time with its supporting cast. You might've noticed that I said the word "told" a lot in the above paragraph, because... well, that's what happens. We're told things about JGY, but we don't see him as much, especially since the novel is focused on the post-timeskip era with the stuff in the past coming through non-linear flashbacks. You don't get to see Meng Yao being Just A Little Guy very much before he becomes the Kitten Thinks About Nothing But Murder All Day meme. Now, you also don't hear dramatic music telegraphing HEY!!! HEY!! VILLAINY IS AFOOT!! HEY!!! every time JGY does literally anything, but you do have everything filtered through WWX's unreliable narrator monologue, and he is out there saying some truly wild shit. (You also get less Xiyao. Like, it's there if you want it to be, but The Untamed really went all-in on that.)
For me, the show works better, because I am a sucker for corruption arcs where you see glimpses of the character before they start the atrocities. Seeing him be Just A Little Guy making the saddest meow meow faces when people were mean to him kept me from totally losing sympathy for/interest in him once things start getting squicky, because I had evidence that he wasn't always like that. Meanwhile, JGY's first big scene in the novel is the confrontation with QS (which already makes my skin crawl and is somehow WORSE in novel form), and I was just like "wow, this guy sucks" even though I knew the story and all the extenuating circumstances already. For others, the novel works better, because "first impressions and society's opinion are unreliable" is a major theme, so the reverse reveal combined with the fact that he demonstrably tries to improve people's lives as a leader is less expected and more satisfying.
So yeah! JGY is different, but the ways in which he is different are due to storytelling methods as well as to plot changes!
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stevie-petey · 10 months ago
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could we perchance get a lil blurb about why/how reader and dustin started their code blues, or maybe just one of their code blues before all the upside down stuff started ? love seeing their sibling relationship always and i think seeing them talking and sharing emotions with each other would be really sweet <3
dustin n reader <333 babies <333
enjoy !
"just because dad left it doesnt mean you can be a bitch."
dustins words cut through you like knives.
"okay, first off, never use that word towards a girl ever again." he rolls his eyes at you and you flick his nose, which he scoffs at. "secondly, i have no idea what youre talking about."
dustin again rolls his eyes. "yeah, you do. youve been a real b- i mean, a real jerk lately."
you want to argue with him, but the words dont seem to come. all you seem to do lately is argue with everyone. and now, confronted with your little brother calling you bitch, you find that youre exhausted.
"i have, havent i?" you finally admit.
dustin nods. "yeah."
you forget sometimes how smart the kid can be. hes only nine and yet here he is, calling you out for actions you shouldve noticed yourself. hes too young to be worrying about this.
"im sorry,"
"its okay. i get it. he sucks, doesnt he?"
"he does, but im still sorry for being such a bitch."
"i thought we couldnt use that word."
you ruffle dustins hair. "nope, youre not allowed to. i am, though."
he sighs, as if expecting that response, and starts to walk out your room. the conversation doesnt feel finished yet, however, and you call after him. "wait!'
"i gotta pee."
"okay, and i told you to wait."
he groans but sits back down on your bed. "do you wanna... talk?"
"ew!"
"i know, but... im serious, buddy. we havent really talked since dad left and i realize i kinda suck as a big sister right now." you feel guilt crawling up your throat, one of the few emotions youve felt these last few days. your dad left a few weeks ago, but sometimes it feels like its been a lifetime.
"you dont suck," dustin reassures you. "youre just... scary right now."
you snort. "yeah, like thats any better."
its quiet now, and dustin sits stiffly against your bed. he seems scared being so close to you, as if you could erupt any second, and you feel horrible for it. youre not sure what you can do, though. theres still so much anger within you, resentment and betrayal, and you dont know how to express so much without hurting those around you.
then, an idea comes to you.
"what about this. we'll call it a code blue."
dustin looks up at you, curious. "whats a code blue?"
"well, my dear brother, its something we'll do when we cant express how we feel or when we think the other sibling needs to have a talk. whenever one of us calls a code blue, the other has to answer honestly and listen as best as they can. once its over, we never bring it up again and we conclude with a hug. hows that sound?"
he thinks for a moment. "honest about anything?"
"mhm,"
"alright. i think that could work. seems less emotional."
you laugh. "i figured youd like that part."
"so... code blue?" dustin asks hesitantly.
"code blue."
you tell dustin everything, explaining why youve been so destructive and bitter and mean. he listens as best as any nine year old can, and as you tell him everything, the weight that had been pressing against your chest these last few weeks begins to lessen. slowly, during the code blue, it becomes easier to breathe.
when youre finally done, right as the last words leave your lips, dustin throws his arms around you. "i love you."
you bring a hand to his hair and kiss the top of his head. "i love you, too. dont let me get all mean again, yeah?"
"i wont."
"good."
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yothangie · 8 months ago
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247:
Pairings: Wooyoung x Fem Reader
SMAU (written chapter)
P.20: Drunk Next>>
Join the Taglist
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The four of them were on their way to the bar, with Jongho in the front to give directions.
“Jongho are you sure it’s here” Seonghwa said.
“im positive San said they will be here” He reassured.
“should we have a plan before we go” Yunho suggested.
“no plan we go in im punching san for saying that to my sister” Seonghwa was about to get out of the car before you stopped him.
“no, we go in, look for them and confront them no harm done that could ruin your imagine” You said.
After a few minutes of discussing the plan, the 4 friends got out of the car heading inside, showing their IDs before being let in.
“where could they be” you began looking around.
“look over there” Jongho nudged.
you looked over to where jongho was pointing at. There he was well more like there they were, Wooyoung and his friends at a booth with a girl on his lap.
“I don’t think i can do this” you said.
“you got this let’s go” Yunho says helping you walk towards the table.
Seonghwa follows behind you trying his best to remain calm that’s until you made it to the table.
“Look Wooyoung it’s your 7 day free trial” San insulted.
Seonghwa pushed passed you and yunho and got in Sans face.
“Say that shit one more time and it won’t look good” Seonghwa threatened.
San got up getting into Seonghwas face as well, he smirked a little looking him up and down.
“you don’t want to ruin your precious imagine do we now”
“when you talk about my sister i don’t care about my imagine so you better watch your mouth”
Seonghwa pushed San a bit making him stumble, San smirked a bit before throwing the first punch.
And there it started. Both men throwing punches left and right, Jongho and yunho trying to separate them along with Wooyoungs friends.
“Please Seonghwa stop” you got in between.
“say stuff about my sister again and it won’t be the last time” Seonghwa threatened.
“let’s just go please” you begged.
“come on let’s just leave” Yunho said pulling Seonghwa out of the bar.
You and Jongho trail behind them with Jongho holding you close.
“I didn’t even get to talk to woo” you mumbled.
“it’s okay you can talk to him tomorrow when he’s sober” Jongho says
“y/n, I want you to lose all contact from that man, i’m having Seola change daycares” Seonghwa said.
“i’ll talk with him tomorrow and after that ill lose contact” You said.
you got in the car laying your head on your brothers shoulders, shedding a few tears before drifting off to sleep.
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risingscorchingsuns · 5 months ago
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OHHH MY GOD YOU CANT MAKE ME WAIT A FUCKING WEEK FOR THIS. YOU CANT MAKE ME WAIT A WEEK FOR THE MUZAN KAGAYA CONFRONTATION YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME. FUCKING HELL OH MY GODDDD
hiiiii im feeling so normal right now!!!!!!!!!!!! *barely contained frenzy of biting and screaming*
anyway thoughts on this weeks ep!!! <3
- tanjiro. please. please i love you baby but i will never understand why you decided it was a good idea to go “🥺 are you fighting about ohagi? ill make lots!!” tanjiro honey they are TRAINING
-/pos btw. I love him he’s iconic for this
-shoutout to giyuu for immediately finding out about Sanemi’s favorite food and being like “:) if I bring some to him we’ll be best friends :)” giyuu sweetheart i love you. ive been waiting so long to see this scene animated god I love them. im not even much of a sanegiyuu shipper i just think this whole scene is iconic
- the ECHOES of muzan’s FOOTSTEPS right after Sanemi realizes they’ve been infiltrated????? holy fuck it is CHILLING. ohhhhhh mygoooodddd. oh my god im going INSANE
- holy shit, I feel like it’s massively under-discussed how dark Gyomei’s backstory is. Like… the whole scene really pounds it in how brutal his experiences were. His disgust at having to fight, much beyond what a normal human would tolerate. He likely had to keep caving the demon’s head in over and over because it kept regenerating. Holy shit. The color choice of everything being monochrome except for the blood is particularly chilling. I love when media uses that palette and KNY does it so good
- AUGHHHH his smile when he pats tanjiro 🥺🥺🥺 he thinks about Sayo…. GOD I love the Hashira
- I’d love to read more character analysis on Gyomei. I feel like we didn’t get as much context for his character as we deserved- why he continued to fight, despite how disgusted he is by his own strength, why he trained Genya despite his general distrust, especially towards children? Ultimately, I believe it comes down to Gyomei being a genuinely gentle human, and I’d love to read more analysis on how he maintains that. Maybe his own repetitive action helps him. I wrote a big paragraph about questions about his character, but wound up deleting it because I found myself answering them as I wrote. Regardless, if Gyomei is anybody’s blorbo to the extent that Kyojuro is mine I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on him- I think he’s a massively underrated character and I’d love to understand him deeper!
-OUGHHH THE MUSIC!!!!!!! god I am LOVING the theme they did with the sanegiyuu fight that shit went CRAZYYYY. and the ANIMATION. look im biased because i love the way water breathing looks but godddd its so pretty. also drop ripple thrust mentioned!!!! we haven’t seen that form since Susamaru!!!
-is the next episode gonna be the last in this season?????????? where are they cutting this off?????? god i wish i could reread the manga but i lent the set to a friend so he could read it pain agony MY CROSS REFERENCES
- [MANGA SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT]
-I’m presuming Zenitsu’s letter was about his Master’s suicide, and Kaigaku’s transformation. I think it was really clever of ufotable to put this scene in Gyomei’s episode, and put spotlights on Kaigaku being the kid that first betrayed Gyomei- I think that fact was only actually mentioned in a Taisho Era Secret. That’s gonna blow a lot of minds in the finale arc lol
-I wish we got more development on Zenitsu in this arc. His processing of the letter, his departure from Tanjiro and the others. I think Zenitsu is also a really misunderstood character, and this arc doesn’t exactly do him many favors in that regard. I wish we’d gotten a bit of filler vis-a-vis his development, but I’m hoping we still get that in his fight with Kaigaku.
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