#i am not beating the insane allegations
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potemkin
UWUAHAB AAUAUHWW WIWUWAHA WW UWUAGA W WUWYW WYWYUWR RUWYWGEGEBWH AYYAYWYWYWW WYWYAYYAYAW BLORBOOOOOOOUU8O8WIWIE
UWUWHHB;&*♡¡○♤●$●¥○♡•♡•◇○♡○¡J°°°°!!!!^!&×>×<@*@ DON'T LOOK AT ME TOO HARD I MIGHT CRY
#brain latched onto potemkin blorbo style and hasn't let go#i am NOT beating the insane allegations#(if usend sees this I'm dead)#ask answered#friend post#doodle#potemkin#guilty gear#my artwork#idk if i should tag this
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This will be all I will say about The Unwanted Guest: Slutty French Maid Ianthe.
#tlt spoilers#The Unwanted Guest#spoilers#ianthe tridentarius#ianthe naberius#cw ianthe tridentarius#i'm going insane#i woke at 4:30 am and didn't stop until i finished this#SHE SHOULD BE SLUTTIER I KNOW#I can't beat the ianthe fucker allegations now#DAMN IT#TLT#the locked tomb
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GUYS MY LAST POST WAS NOT SKK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#this is so fucking funny shuake are never beating the skk variant allegations i am slamming my fist against the wall#like yea they look alike but that similar? insane. diabolical even.#akechi did not die for this 😭
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hi gongeous @gasstationpopcorn happy valentines and have a nice day :)
#bokris#bojan cvjeticanin#bojan cvjetićanin#kris gustin#kris guštin#joker out#joker out fanart#pen name is fake and im not beating bojan-coded allegations with it#the title is also a reference you'll probably get#thinking of you is also a ref to a song i listened last#can you believe this thing is lying in my drafts for almost a week now lmao#but anyway have a nice day thank you for all the sloflix 3 am dates and im looking forward to many more#if soulmates exist i think you might be mine#i love you my insane twice (thrice?) divorced spouse#2024
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AWESOME INSAANE and INCREDIBLE superior and ps4 art my cousin made for my birthday, which just so happens to be spiderman day !!! :3 check out his beautiful ART and animations ^_^
#GWAHHH THIS MADE ME INSAANE THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT#I BROKE ALL HIS BONES WITH HOW MUCH I SHOOK HIM AND HUGGED THEM💥💥💙‼️#THEY LOOK SO GOOD LOOK AT THEM !!!!#i still go insane at the superior drawing he made me last yr THEN THEY GO AND DO THIS#THEYRE BUDDIESS LOOK AT THEMMM#insane freaking poses and muscles n anatomy.. he even heard me say superior has such dramatic lighting and he worked that in too..#auagahhh<333#go give them some love if u have insta ^_^#gosh.. i am not beating the superior and ps4 bestie believer allegations#superior spider man#superior spiderman#superior spider-man#ps4 spiderman#insomniac peter parker#insomniac spider man#spiderman ps4#spiderman#LOOK AT MY COUSINS ART BOY!!!!#still cant believe my bday is spiderman day... literally FATED#i got permission to post here btw ^_^ so much joy and LOVE in this world..
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*rubs hands evilly*
what if lighter likes it when reader grabs/smacks his ass
i’m being so serious, that man has a DUMPTRUCK like damn sir carrying all that cake and for what ????
anyways im trying to keep it relatively sfw here but i think this is only after something has been established (or at least when he knows you have feelings for him) cuz i do not want to subject him to sa.
BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT HE DISLIKES IT FROM YOU !! definitely let out a short moan the first time and then after that it’s like he has been trained (especially in public). it catches him off guard but now he is aware and a little alert. i think he knows that his body is nice, but he wasn’t expecting you to like his ass too.
i think it still does catch him off guard a few times and his sunglasses do slip off, showing his flushed out face. a slight grin on his lips but he lets you have your fun. in private though, oh go all out ! this is also just you wanting to be very touchy with him and i think he’d really like that. your hands just drifting down from his back. it gets him a little worked up but he wouldn’t admit that, instead the noises he makes is more than enough proof that he does.
#lumiresponds ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter zzz#zzz lighter#lighter lorenz#I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT BUT ARGHSGSKDB THE JUICES WERE NOT FLOWING TO ME THIS TIME#but his body proportions are so insane#i kinda wish they made his 3d model a bit more similar to the story art#cuz he looks like he’d be even more built and have more ass#BUT EITHER WAY LIGHTER BEATS THE FLAT ALLEGATIONS MHM#we love a man with assets in both the front and back <3
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i will shimamitsu the world i am insane i am crazy they are so yuri.... if u disagree u r wrong this is straight yuri. i hope they explode i will explode them with my mind they are rattling in my brain. they are so cat and dog and silly
anyways so my friend req'd danganronpa from me and i have no new art to post so if u see me posting danganronpa i need you to step back and pretend u didn't see anything
#skip and loafer#skip to loafer#skip and loafer fans...#shima#shima sousuke#mitsumi iwakura#i am beating the normal allegations#please excuse the caption i am insane#i have been cooking this in my mind since like july#i hate them they make me so unwell#iwakura mitsumi#sousuke shima#they are so silly#i am going to explode and die and its all their fault#im so normal#i think they should kiss and makeup actually i am not well#comfort hets#ok well i dont think theyre het bc i project bisexuality on all my faves#theyre bi4bi#“theres no canon basis for bi4bi” ok shut up? god forbid i have hobbies
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Hii!! I saw that you are open to supernatural AUs so... Can I ask for one where Stray Kids summon a demon that happens to be Bae? 😈😊 (I want happy vibes pleaseee)
word count: ~2k
warnings: few drops of blood
genre: demon AU, fluff?
a/n: I hate you. I told you in our chat already several times, but I hate you so much. You KNOW how much I love supernatural AUs, especially demon ones. And you dare give me this idea, that is now living rent free in my head, growing itself out into a whole ass series. I will be demanding compensation later. Maybe some Chan pics or smt, I haven't decided yet. I need to bash my head into the wall first a few times.
Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!
!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!
!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
“Are we really sure this is a good idea?”
Hyunjin’s question never got answered, the air between the 8 teenage boys unusually silent and strained. It only caused him to grow even more nervous, his fingers occasionally twitching without his own command, urging him to just tuck his hands into his pockets.
Everyone knew that it wasn’t a good idea. Not the little group they gathered up in, not the dark room lit up with various candles, all placed in a certain pattern scattered throughout the whole space. And the charcoal drawing they circled around certainly wasn’t the best thing they had ever done in their whole life, not at all.
But what they were about to do was something even stupider.
Jeongin took out a little knife he’d kept safely tucked away in his flannel’s pocket, revealing the hidden blade with the single press of a button. His eyes swept over everyone else’s, worried glances greeting him back. The maknae could only gulp, yet his slightly shaking hands extended over the circle, blade cutting into supple flesh.
Drip, drop.
The vermillion liquid slowly landed and formed a small pool in the middle of the drawing, where the most intricate symbols laid, everyone sitting around it with bated breaths. It felt as if they were about to make either the best, or the most horrible decision of their lives, and they couldn’t have wished for it to be over any faster. It laid heavy on their shoulders, their chests, as soon as they got their hands on that wine red, leather bound book that started it all. It was as if that thing was calling them, whispering into their ears, something they couldn’t resist even for a moment.
It would have felt wrong to do so.
So now, here they were, performing the ritual that was carefully written down in those aged, yellow pages, their content beautifully explained in great detail. Even them, who had no idea about the occult, could easily perform it; the hardest thing to do was to draw the lines good enough and have enough bravery to cut into their flesh.
And yet… nothing seemed to be happening.
No magical lights appeared from the summoning circle, no portal opened from the blood, nothing. Not even a little puff of smoke.
“Well… we tried.” - it was Chan, breaking everyone out of their stupor. “Yea, let’s just go. Don’t look so heartbroken Lixie, we can maybe try again later?” - Changbin said, slinging an arm over the mentioned male’s shoulder. “Exactly, so let’s just go down. I never liked this room, whenever I passed by it, it gave me the chills. C’mon Jisungie, stop moping around.” - Hyunjin said, a sweat rolling down the side of his forehead. “No need. Just look.” - Minho’s voice caught everyone’s attention, his arms ushering the two youngest behind his protective form.
The boy was right, the room now glowed in a sinister red light, something captivating, yet frightening. A rift that tore through time and space started opening up in the middle of the summoning circle, the blood fallen there now moving on its own, pawing the path for the portal in an intricate pattern. Dark smoke escaped that rift, coating the room with its chilly self. If only that was the single thing that crossed over to their world, then the boys could have heaved a sigh of relief. But no, they were forced to watch as a void-dipped, clawed hand gripped at their floor boards, pale skin following it soon after.
In front of the boys stood an imposing creature, one with ashen skin that was dipped into tar, head crowned with pairs of majestic horns, back adorned with a pair of skin-woven wings and a slender tail. His eyes were like molten gold, the colours and patterns perpetually swirling in there, dragging anyone into their depths, were they brave enough to look.
Those same eyes slightly widened, stuck on two members of this little friend group, their presence catching the demon completely off-guard. He wanted to ask what this was all about, especially when he saw that same recognition flash across their eyes, but he wasn’t a fool. There must have been a reason for why they hid amongst these humans, something he didn’t want to ruin even without knowing.
So, the demon set his eyes on Chan, the one who bravely stood in front of anyone in a protective manner. The creature cocked his head to the side, his wings closed to seem less imposing as he was waiting for the other to speak. Nobody summoned a demon for no reason, after all.
“Why did we do this, again? Someone remind me please?” - Changbin’s voice was sharp, yet it had a slightly fearful edge to it. “I don’t fucking know, you idiots just bought this book and somehow we ended up here. With a fucking demon in our room, which is as tall as the room itself!” - Seungmin’s seethed, snapping at the other. “It wasn’t even me, why are you yelling at me then?! It was Minho and Jisung who found the book and brought it here, blame them!” “Oh so you’re pointing fingers now, huh?” - Minho joined in, a deep scowl etched onto his delicate features. “Uh, guys, maybe not now…” - but Jeongin’s pleas weren’t heard, not even after Hyunjin joined him in his efforts to diffuse the situation.
The demon watched it with amusement, a slight huff escaping his form as it reminded him of the past.
“Hey, you can grant one of our wishes, right? Any kind?” - Chan asked, causing the demon’s eyes to fall onto his tiny form that was squished between Jisung and Felix carefully.
His only reply was a silent nod.
“I want these 7 boys to never be harmed, to always be healthy and protected.”
That reply was not what the two boys beside him expected, staring at him with wide eyes and arguing how he should have wished for something better, for himself. The demon just observed it, how everyone argued in the room for different reasons, his eyes lingering on the two liars.
“I cannot grant you what you already have.”
Chan only sputtered at that, unable to believe what he had just heard. The two next to him reacted similarly, a few from behind them joining in, their argument slowly dying down. Everyone just stared up at the hellish entity, watching his eyes shift around, his head slightly dipping down when he closed his eyes for a few seconds, deep in thought. The hair-woven waterfall behind him gently moved, just like the chains and other ornaments that decorated his horns and sharp ears.
Those molten orbs were visible again, hiding behind long lashes, yet no more sound exited the demon’s lips.
“What do you mean? I already have it? We’ve never done anything like this, that’s impossible! Explain yourself!” - Chan raised his voice, clearly getting worked up. “Don’t worry, Channie hyung, he’s only speaking the truth. Other demons would take this chance and take your soul in exchange for nothing.” - it was Felix who spoke up this time, his warm hand lingering on his hyung’s shoulder, before he stepped towards the demon. “Yea, you can really trust him. He’s the softest demon I’ve ever known, and I know San.” - Jisung followed the younger aussie, a lopsided smile dancing on his lips.
Everyone watched on, confused, questions upon questions flying through their heads. The strong feeling sat out onto their faces, some closing their mouths several times, yet no sound left any of them. The two who were now standing next to the demon looked guilty, rightfully so.
Because now Felix was sporting angel wings, while Jisung had bat wings and a tail protruding from his back.
“Someone tell me they’re seeing the same thing, otherwise I’ll assume I somehow overdosed myself on drugs.” “Innie, you didn’t take any.” “That was the problem then.”
The boys laughed at that, the awkward tension now broken thankfully. It gave a chance for the two who hid their true entity to gather themselves, to take a deep breath and just slowly let it out.
“We’re so sorry for hiding this before you guys, but it doesn’t change who we are as a person, really. We’re still the sa–” “Lix, Lixie, it’s okay, don’t start crying. Sure, it’s a surprise, a big one, but we’re not mad. No, Sungie, you calm down too. Just. We need a minute to process, ye?” - Chan interrupted, a heavy sigh leaving his chest as he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to make sense of everything.
“So… you guys like, know each other?” “Minho!” “What? I’m sure you wanna know too!”
Laughter interrupted the bickering couple, Chan and Minho stopping to look at the still giggling Felix and Jisung.
“Yea, we kinda have a history, the three of us. In short, me and Bae are like brothers, and I mean our new demon buddy here. The two of us are like two peas in a pod, inseparable. Lixie here somehow didn’t hate our guts, even though our races completely hate each other, and we all kept sneaking out to hang out. That’s the gist of it, and now here we are!” “While Jisungie left out a lot, and I mean a LOT, that’s the basics, yea. But we’ll fill you guys in later, first let’s finish forming this pact, before the portal closes and Bae’ll be banished back into Hell for a good while.” “Okay, but how? He already denied one wish.” - Chan argued back, the others nodding along. “Hmm, don’t worry about that. I think he already knows what he wants.” - Jisung replied, his eyes hiding a knowing glint inside.
Indeed, the young demon was correct. Ever since he’d been summoned, Bae knew what he'd wanted and from who. It was obvious it wouldn’t be the one whose blood was used for the creation of the portal, everyone too overprotective for that to happen. And the others either didn’t have something to wish for that they didn’t already have, or Bae simply didn’t want to grant it -he was a picky demon after all-.
But there was one wish that tickled his fantasy, one that drew him closer.
“I can grant what your heart desires, in exchange for your soul. What do you say, Hwang Hyunjin?”
The boy was frozen in place, his dark eyes locked onto golden ones. His lungs stuttered, nearly failing to work and take in that vital air, and yet…
He wasn’t truly afraid.
This gigantic, dangerously captivating creature didn’t terrify him. No, he was excited, his heart was beating hard and fast as if to say that yes, this was finally happening, he’d waited for this for so long. He didn’t know what he’d been waiting for truly, but this whole thing just felt…right. As if a missing puzzle piece was found, ready to be placed in its place and complete a bigger picture.
A little smile drew itself on the demon’s lips, something that caught everyone’s attention as it wasn’t sinister, no, quite the opposite.
“Then the pact is sealed.”
All Hyunjin felt was a slight pain on his cheek, then dark smoke covered up his vision, the demon’s form lost inside. Nothing could be really heard, besides the hushed whispers of the members and his own rushing blood, his heart beating loudly in its cage. Something that only strengthened when the smoke finally cleared, his eyes widening at the sight.
A tall human stood in front of him, pale, delicate skin framed by dark hair. His eyes weren’t molten gold anymore, no, they mirrored his own, dark pools like the inky sky. It took him a second to blink, the sight strangely carved into his mind.
He had to sketch it down later.
Bae lightly smiled at Hyunjin with those barely red-tinted lips, turning around and opening his arms. It didn’t take longer than a second for him to be tackled by Felix and Jisung, the two clinging onto him as if their lives depended on it. So much so, that the little devil hopped onto his back, while Felix was in his arms, carried away as if this was the newly met devil’s daily life.
The others could only blink at that, too confused to really do anything.
What a weird, twisted situation they had gotten themselves into.
#the angel Felix and demon Jisung headrot is strong#back from when i first listened to Social Path#also i am never beating those 'you fkin love Hyune you idiot' allegations after this one#but also it is 2 am here and i am on my last leg over here#i am allowed to act a little insane now#stray kids#skz#stray kids oc#skz oc#stray kids 9th member#skz 9th member#glacial prince#bang chan#lee know#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin#stray kids fanfiction#skz fanfiction#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#my beloveds#request#angel felix#demon jisung#demon glacial prince
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It's Venli Vonday! Remember that time she "no you"-ed Nale into backing off when she was alone and terrified and surrounded by people who wanted to manipulate her, at ten years old? I do!
#The way she fights to find and use her own power while being yanked around by several forces much stronger than her is *so* good#like this was so insanely gutsy of her and it worked!#i am gonna beat the cringefail allegations one week at a time#stormlight archive#stormlight archive spoilers#rhythm of war spoilers#venli#venli vonday
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you know that stereotype that is like “bisexual people can’t sit on chairs normally”
hyde is LITERALLY that stereotype
#LIKE PLS. DUDE.#the way this was done in ONE CHAPTER TOO.#bro ain’t beating the allegations#tgs#the glass scientists#tgs hyde#ALSO DID SABRINA SNEAK A JEKYLL & HYDE MUSICAL REFERENCE OR AM I INSANE
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more painting(??) practice
#enstars#nep draws things#ensemble stars#sketch#jun sazanami#im gonna go insane. WHY is he like this. i am shaking him violently. i am never beating the junP allegations.
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Does Potemkin like his uniform? What would he wear if he could wear clothes without issues? How does his mutation affect things like clothes or self grooming? Does he like being able to take care of himself? What about what his favorite things to draw? How much food does he eat? Does he have favorite books? What's his guilty pleasure? Does he have a crush on anyone? Tell me.
anon, i see you and i hear you. you are indulging me so bad, and so obviously i will Listen
Potemkin (Guilty Gear) headcanons 2: Electric Boogaloo
Does Potemkin like his uniform?
- He doesn't feel anything real strong about his uniform. It's just a couple of garments he wears for formality's sake, not much else. He appreciates the small pockets though!
- But his helmet? God, Potemkin appreciates his helmet sooooooo much.
- Albeit only slightly, very very slightly, he's got some eyesight issues - but his helmet's got some prescription lenses installed in there that bring his vision back to 20/20.
- Potemkin doesn't really notice the eyesight problems when his helmet's off, but once he looks through those lenses again, it's like seeing a whole new world.... kind of. In reality it doesn't make much of a difference, but Potemkin appreciates it nonetheless!
What would Potemkin wear if he could wear clothes without issues?
- He's already so used to his firm uniform, no matter the issues, so I feel he'd instinctually go for something tight and cozy to emulate that feeling.
- On simple outings, he values comfort over fashion. A simple sleeveless t-shirt and trousers is all he needs. Maybe even a jacket.
- ... yeah, Potemkin's not too big on fashion. Again, he prefers comfort over anything, considering the lack of it that he has in the first place.
- He definitely doesn't mind showing some skin though (NOT IN THAT WAY AUGH). Mostly his arms, since he finds most long-sleeved shirts very uncomfortable.
How does Potemkin's mutation affect things like clothes or self grooming?
- For self grooming, he finds he's often breaking hairbrushes, toothbrushes, hair ties or anything else, completely by accident. His sheer strength makes it hard to use anything without taking extra care to do so gently. It's annoying, but Potemkin makes the most of it.
- Gabriel, the worried mentor that he is, always orders in extra-sturdy replacements for these tools, made just for Potemkin's sake. Potemkin is ever so grateful for it, as you'd expect.
- For clothes, Potemkin has to get them refitted every couple of months or so. Have you seen how skin-tight his Strive outfit is?
- well yeah t's for the sex appeal dude.but that's daisuke's fault not mine
- (In some XX cutscenes, there's images of him clearly wearing clothing that isn't practically glued to his skin. Maybe during Strive, he was simply due for a refitting of his clothes again...?)
- It's a hassle, and quite a costly one at that. but really it's no biggie. Just that all that body proportion measuring does get to him a little....
Does Potemkin like being able to take care of himself?
- Hooh! Ahem. Uhh, well, it's definitely better than not being able to...?
- Yeah, sure, Potemkin says he doesn't mind, and that's true. But on the bad days, when he looks in the mirror to brush his teeth or tie his hair up, he just feels... disgust. He's too big to fit in the doorway, or some low-hanging ceilings, or the mirror itself.
- Potemkin's mutation, the one that's taken hold of his life, opened so many paths and closed all the others... he resents it. Hates it. Wishes he could just be normal, with regular proportions and lacking of his superhuman strength. It's a blessing and a curse. It's-- no. No. There's no reason to dwell on it. It'll only lower his morale.
- Being independent is something Potemkin is glad he's able to do though, despite the difficulty of moving around and the horrible, horrible body dysmorphia. He'll find a way to cope with it. The self care needs to get done either way, he tells himself.
- (He might need some kind of therapist to help him with his self image issues, actually...)
What are Potemkin's favourite things to draw?
- Potemkin claims that he doesn't have a 'favourite' thing to draw, he simply follows along with whatever inspiration struck him in the moment.
- But, one with a keen eye would be able to spot the fact that he seems to adore drawing portraits of his friends and associates. The way their expression lights up when they see their own face, captured in perfect integrity and drawn by Potemkin's own hands, warms his heart.
How much food does Potemkin eat?
- A bit more than the average portion, since Potemkin has to keep up with his more demanding metabolism due to his larger size.
- But usually, he can get away with eating regular portions, so he does just that. It's a lot more convenient for him that way, especially when he's not preparing the food himself.
- He has been prescribed with a dietary plan, but it's become a little irrelevant lately.
Does Potemkin have favourite books?
- Not really. Well, at least he claims he doesnt, but you'll easily find him binging the old old classics, like Shakespeare. He's read all of Shakespeare's literature. Like, all of it.
- What can he say, they're titled as 500 year old classics for a reason! He's moreso surprised that they're still preserved and out there if anything. Such is the wonders of history preservation...
What's Potemkin's guilty pleasure?
- Fanfiction.
- ...
- What else is there to say?
- He finds beauty in the fact that people can take the base of someone's original story and craft their own out of it, using someone else's characters, setting and world to make their own personal piece of art. The storylines, the interpretations of characters, the twisting of the original plot... He holds the poetic value of it quite highly.
-And obviously, considering the fact he does consume some media, he's sometimes starving for more content of the characters he enjoys.
- What? No, I'm not projecting. Who told you that?
Does Potemkin have a crush on anyone?
- So, have you heard of this guy called Faust Guilty Gea(GETS SHOT AND DIES)
- ...okay, seriously, if he'd have a crush on anyone, I think it would be Faust - even if the crush was only for a fleeting moment. He's far too occupied with his job to really consider a romantic relationship, but him and Faust have bonded closer than he thought ever possible.
- Being so tall your back always hurts, being so bulky you struggle to get around, your giant hands getting in the way all the time... Faust gets Potemkin's struggles. Maybe not to the same degree, but he definitely gets it.
- And the fact that, considering their pasts, they're definitely both working to improve on themselves. It'd be so, so helpful to have someone to lean on, someone to share their struggles with, someone to come back home to.
- Yeah, it'd be tricky as hell for Potemkin to juggle his work and a relationship at the same time... but what the hell, maybe he could try anyway, just for the sake of it?
^ I'm not really one for ships, but like. Do you understand. (while actively frothing at the mouth) i think you need to put me down anon
hey if you are my friend and you see this post i give you permission to maul me, anyway Potemkin Guilty Gear.......
#dude it's 4 am im going to bed.#faustemkin headcanons mostly taken from a discord server i'm in. dunno who said it though#but thank you for those!#anyways okay yeah im not beating the insane allegations#i am too far gone#but who caaaaaaares#i admit it im cringe. but who caaaaaaaaares#potemkin#faust guilty gear#potemkin headcanons#guilty gear headcanons#guilty gear#faustemkin#snatch writes#i almost made pot read yaoi btw.#ask answered
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Can not believe they shaved my man's beard and cut his hair this is a crime against humanity i am being so serious right now
#also he is not beating the bisexual allegations with that robe. so i guess we stay winning despite the crimes they've committed against him#my design for him has instantly become so uncannon it's insane ajsnsskbsj#y’know what i am just happy he's getting actual screentime with this series this is a win for me specifically
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i think abt them a regular amount 👍
#the 7th anni lineups kind of kill me inside he is so starstruck its insane#his ass is NOT beating the gay allegations for real#enstars#midoyuzu#yuzumido#anyways happy monday i am ojce agaij looping getsuyoubi noy uutsu as i can no longer sepsrate them from it#duck rants about something
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my best friend (no. 4, i'll start assigning emojis soon for lore followers) asked me about BPD and i told them i'd talk more about it in person because BPD is the exact overlap of my own lived experience (note: i am not diagnosed but have extensive history with BPD in a secret more confusing way) and my psychological interest. but like now i'm thinking about it and generally speaking i think anything that was a symptom towards BPD i experienced has either grown more mild now that i'm out of an active trauma situation, OR has just become part of what i consider my amorphous CPTSD thing,
but i do like. think about the efforts to avoid perceived/real abandonment. and maybe i've not gone to the lengths some folks might with this but to be honest the more i think back to my own personal history the more i realize that i do in fact repeatedly do insane shit to avoid abandonment 😭
#NEVER beating the abandonment issues allegations#haunted by the time someone tried to break up with me and i told them they could cheat on me with other people so long as they didn't leave#ALSO haunted by the idea of breaking up with my ex causing me so much anxiety i was physically sick and begging then like very soon after#i lost pretty much all interest in my ex 😭 ALSO thinking about getting into my first relationship so that person wouldn't leave#ALSO thinking about being unable to sleep at night knowing that if i don't get a job i will never see my dad again (NOBODY SAID THIS)#also almost ******* ****** because my friends were at an unknown location together so i was convinced they hated me#also feeling ******** at the thought of my favorite professor not liking me as a student. & spending my 1st r acting out so id see them#Um. anyway i don't have BPD but i'm never really beating the allegations for it anyway#mostly because BPD and CPTSD are so similar and you have to wonder if they'd be different diagnoses if we didn't have-#-such a carceral system that stigmatizes BPD and certain kinds of survivors and condemns them to never being treated like humans <-#who said that omg...#when i lay it out it doesn't even really sound like i have abandonment issues because these all seem kind of normal#but i think maybe that's insane. I don't know. kisses u with tongue#i'm able to have healthy friendships now sometimes but some people i am deep seededly convinced will leave and betray me#and i don't really know what distinguishes one person from another but it does kill me inside !#Shout out to best friend no. 2 & no. 5. i text one when i'm episodic so i can get her attention & the other i consistently like.#Will do literally anything for so that they don't leave me
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#slowly coming to terms w the fact that maybe the men that i would be attracted to just don’t exist#like sure a lot of men are beautiful gorgeous even#but then im like…… realistically i just don’t see myself in a relationship w them???? is this my deep rooted insecurity speaking or#is it something else???#like realistically speaking i just don’t see myself walking down the street w them like we just wouldn’t look right together you know???#is that insane of me to even think about?#and then when i find a man that im attracted to and i could perchance see myself in a relationship w i get stuck on thinking thoughts like#what if our world views aren’t compatible what if his personal hygiene sucks etc#i have not had a crush on anyone in literal years at this point i just need to make peace w being destined for solitude#also…..#never beating those lesbian allegations btw#no jk i am like 80% sure that im actually attracted to men my venus is just in virgo#(so are my sun and mercury btw but those aren’t super relevant to this situation i think)
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