#im gonna go insane. WHY is he like this. i am shaking him violently. i am never beating the junP allegations.

[neptunesailing]

more painting(??) practice

[dameronology]

the one where he doesn’t listen (poe x reader)

summary: poe dameron + ‘i think we should take a break’ ‘you’re right - we’ll get some food, cool down and then we can talk about this’ no, i mean a break from us’

warnings: language 

i PROMISE i am working on some fluff, i know literally everything i’m writing at the moment is angst but like 80% of my requests are for angst...and i just hope u guys are okay lol love u 

enjoy,

- jazz

‘Would you just listen to me?!’

You ignored the calls of your boyfriend, violently kicking open the door to the air hangar. You stormed inside, a scowl on your face - you didn’t notice Jessika and Snap jump back at the sight of you. You breezed through the base, boots thumping into the concrete floors, steps like thunder. You couldn’t even look at Poe - you might throttle him otherwise.

You usually embraced his rebelliousness. His courage was one of the many things you loved about him - but this was your mission. You were the commander. It was a different story when he was ignoring your orders. The whole operation had been blown up because he couldn’t listen for once in his life. 

‘Baby, please-’

You stopped in your tracks, and Poe crashed into your back with a grunt. You turned to face him, and for a split second, he held out his arms. The action, however, was quickly retracted when you jabbed your finger into his chest. He silently thanked whichever god was up there that looks couldn’t kill - if they could, yours would have been a weapon of mass destruction.

‘The one time I need you to listen!’ You snapped. ‘The one fucking time, Poe!’

‘I said I was sorry-’

‘- sorry doesn’t get me my mission back!’ You continued, cutting him off. ‘Sorry doesn’t change the fact you ignored me. Sorry doesn’t change the fact you went against my direct orders!’

There was a little bit more to it than his disobedience. You weren’t a superior behind a comms link, barking orders at him. You were his partner - the one person you’d hoped would be the exception to his insubordination. That was what was causing most of the fuel behind your rage. 

Poe bit his lip, nodding. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’

‘How?’ You snorted. ‘You find a time machine and go back and unfuck this up for me?’

He grimaced, hopelessly scrambling to find something - anything - to say that could possibly calm you down. ‘I’ll explain it to Leia. I’ll take the fall.’

‘That was gonna be the case anyways.’ You murmured. 

Poe reached out to grab your hand, but you swatted it away. 

‘Don’t.’ You shook your head. ‘Look, I’m gonna go to my quarters and get the mission report done. I need time to think - and maybe a wall to punch.’

‘Wait,’ His mouth dropped open, and that was when the magnitude of his actions finally seemed to click. ‘This isn’t gonna change anything is it, for us?’

You knew the us that Poe was referring to - and he didn’t mean your professional relationship. He meant the us, us. The us that had sneaky kisses and escapades in broom closets. The us that laid together at night in each other’s arms, discussing everything from from work that day to theories about the deepest, darkest galaxies. The us that might have been the only stable thing in Poe Dameron’s unpredictable life. 

‘I don’t know.’ You sighed. ‘I just need time to think.’

You paused, the volume of the situation beginning to cause the descend down a slippery slope of misery and rage. 

How could he do this to you? You knew that the flyboy was capable of some exceptionally dumb things, but this one took the crown. This was the grand finale that completed The Chronicles of Poe Dameron’s Dumbassery (patent pending). 

Poe grabbed your arm, glancing around at your co-workers. Most of them had left the room when you entered - news of the mission had quickly spread about the base and people did not want to get in your way. Even Threepio had made a point to not go near you. Still, the pilot dragged you from the walkway and towards an empty space behind his X-Wing. The ship was splattered with dents and chips from the TIE fighters that had chased you out of the planet you’d been on. Perhaps that would be the epilogue in the aforementioned book.

‘Baby,’ his voice almost broke, desperate as he grabbed your face in his hands. ‘I would give anything to go back and undo what I did, literally anything, but I can’t-’

‘- I know you can’t.’ You moved his hands, momentarily intertwining your fingers. ‘It can just be so exhausting, Poe. I love you so much but you don’t think about the people around you.

You moved away from him, propping yourself up against the ladder of his jet. Your feet swayed back and forth for a moment as you thought. You were hurting- teetering on the edge of pure insanity, ping-ponging between your intense love for the man in front of you and your frustration at the situation.

‘I think we should take a break.’

You knew that you didn’t mean it. The second the words left your mouth, you wanted to swat them out the air, throw them to the ground like dead flies. Some childish part of you just wanted to scare him, to make him feel what you’d felt. 

‘You’re right,’ Poe nodded. ‘We’ll get some food, cool down and then we can talk about this-’

‘- no, Poe.’ Your voice cracked slightly. ‘I mean a break from us.’

‘You’re breaking up with me?’

‘No, not a break up. Just a break.’ You stood up.

You saw the hurt on his face; the anguish, the torment. More than ever, you wanted to wrap your arms around him; to hug him, to run your hands through his stupidly soft hair and hold him and promise to hurt whoever it was that was causing his distress. But it was you. Was love always this much agony?

‘I gotta clear my head.’ You whispered, slipping by him as you walked away.

--

A few hours later, you were even more angry that you had been when this whole thing started. You were no longer just enraged at Poe - you were now pissed off with yourself. Why had you said that? Why had you let the heat of the situation push you over the edge and say such stupid things?

Three hours without Poe by your side felt like a lifetime - a long, sad, empty lifetime. You’d been sat on your bed, handing resting on the empty space where he should have been. You were still furious at him but that didn’t mean you wanted to be without him.

You let out a sigh, watching as BB-8 circled the floor in front of you. He’d followed you back from the hangar, beeping something about relaxation methods. But aside from that, he’d been pretty silent. You felt like he was a kid who’d seen his parents have a fight. 

‘Where is Poe?’ You asked quietly, moving down to kneel in front of the droid, fixing his antenna. ‘In Finn’s room? I know right, where else?’

Grabbing the nearest jacket from your desk, you tugged it over your shoulders. As the heavy leather fell over your torso, you realised it with Poe’s - he’d lent it to you on your third date. It occasionally lead to a few awkward situations where you, Finn and Poe all turned up wearing matching jackets, given that the pilot had also gifted one to his friend. 

You made your way to Finn’s quarters, BB-8 rolling behind you. He’d perked up a bit at the prospect of his parents you and Poe working it out. Nobody liked to see you guys fight. You knocked on the door twice - usually, you were close enough with Finn to walk in unannounced, but with the given circumstances, you didn’t want to just swan inside.

A few seconds later, the door opened, and he greeted you with a smile. ‘Y/N!’

‘Hey, Finn.’ You greeted him. BB-8 nudged past his leg, rolling inside without waiting for an invitation. 

‘Poe’s inside.’ He said, stepping aside. ‘I’ll give you guys some space, but please don’t do anything in my bed.’

You rolled your eyes. ‘Finn.’

‘Just saying!’ He ruffled your hair as you walked by.

Poe was sat on Finn’s bed, a holopad in one hand and a cup of caff in the other. He’d clearly heard the exchange at the door and was trying to play it cool - something at which he was failing miserably. 

‘Hey,’ you greeted him quietly. You gently took a seat on the bed next to him, pulling the holopad from his hands. ‘Wanna talk?’

‘Is there much to say?’ His voice was cold, and you almost did a double take.

‘Poe,’ you sighed. ‘I don’t want to break up, or go on a break, or whatever it was that I said.’

His brown eyes lit up slightly, and he finally turned to look at you. The last three hours had been equally painful for him - he thought he’d lost you. There was a lot of things that terrified him but there was nothing that scared him more than the idea of life without you by his side. He would have rather gone up against Kylo Ren with a pencil for a weapon than let go of you.

‘I got caught up in the heat of the moment,’ you continued. ‘You hurt me, and I think I was reaching for something that might make you feel the same.’

‘Well, you made me feeling something that was deep, dark and pretty terrible.’ Poe tried to joke, but he couldn’t hide the wavering in his voice. He reached to take your hands in his, and your heart broke when you realised they were shaking. ‘But that’s not a lot compared to what it feels like to lose a mission - especially because of me.’

‘I don’t care that we lost the mission. That happens all the time - it just hurts that you didn’t listen to me.’ You explained. ‘I guess I felt like you didn’t respect me.’

‘I do!’ Poe’s eyes widened. ‘I would...I would do anything for you. You know that, right? You tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it-’

‘- I just want you to listen to me.’ You cut him off. ‘That’s it.’

‘I can do that.’ A smile finally fell onto his lips. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you felt yourself finally relax. You were going to be okay.

‘I’m still fucking furious at you, though.’ Your words didn’t quite match your actions; with one hand tangled in his hair and one resting on his face, you seemed to be more sweet than intimidating. ‘But I love you, and whatever this is, we’re gonna work through it.’

‘I love you too.’ He pulled you in for another kiss. ‘And I will never, ever do anything stupid again.’

‘I give it five minutes tops.’

[aries-writingblog]

Atlas (1)

Summary: After years of being imprisoned on the Raft, Tony negotiates freedom for his sister Tessa. When she’s free- so is her past, and it will never stop hunting her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC(Stark)

Chapter Word count: 1,666

Warnings: PTSD (subtle ish), trauma, torture (in later parts), suicidal behaviors and thoughts, mentions of death, character death, injury, violence, angst, and a lil bit of fluff in there

Disclaimer: Atlas is my own, original work with characters belonging to Marvel (except Tessa and Dr. Clifton). Plagiarism is not cool kids.

A/N: this is my first work Im posting to this platform and I’m really excited and nervous about it. Hope you enjoy- constructive criticism is always helpful as well!!

The Avengers Tower. Former Stark Tower. 93 floors of office space, labs- people carrying out their business. People going about their day. At the top of all of them is Tony Stark. Waiting. Waiting in silence. Typically, he isn’t one to wait on anything or anyone but today... today is different. Today is special. Finally, the silence is broken by a shrill ring of his phone. Tony snaps it up, immediately accepting the call.

“Mr. Stark? Reid Kerrings.” The man’s voice carried through the phone, introducing himself. “Listen, I hear you’re trying to to negotiate a prisoners freedom?”

“She shouldn’t even be a prisoner,” Tony grumbled before plastering on a thick business tone. “Yes, that’s what I’m trying to do here. Thing is, I have a plan that I ran by Fury and Coulson and they seem to think it’s a great idea. Only thing is- that prisoner of yours is apparently ‘dangerous’ and she’d need stipulations on if she were to be released into my care.”

Tony hated this- speaking about her as if she were a terrorist. He hated that she’d been in maximum security prisons for six years. He hated that she was on the raft now. But, if he wanted to play ball, he had to agree to the terms. And unfortunately, that was one of the terms. He’d tried it his way two years ago and it got shut down. Several times.

“Well... you’re a damn maniac- prisoner 067112 is a psycho-“

“Her name is Tessa and that’s my sister you’re talking about so if you’d like to see your job another day I’d keep quiet.” Tony snapped, clenching his jaw. The phone fell silent before Kerrings cleared his throat.

“She would have to meet with an appointed therapist three days a week. She would also have to have a check in twice a week with a parole officer. If there is any flare up of her enhancement that is not accounted for by a member of your team, she comes back here and is no longer allowed parole. She is to be on a tight leash.” Kerrings read through the conditions of the agreement that Tony and Fury had worked out. “She must agree to these terms before her release. If she does, she will be escorted to your property tomorrow at 10:00 AM. Do you agree to these statements made today?”

“Yes.” Tony felt an excited, nervous bubble form in his stomach. He was doing it. His sister was almost free.

“Excellent. The escort team will run a security check on the building and perimeter.”

“Oh, well, not to brag or anything but- it’s the Avengers Tower. I ’m pretty sure this is the best it gets in terms of security.” Tony scoffed, turning when he heard the door opening. Steve Rogers stepped into the room, intending on speaking with Tony about another comm unit. He broke his. Again. He stopped short, hearing the man on the phone.

“This woman shouldn’t even be out of her cell here- she’s dangerous, I don’t care if shes your sister or not. The power of this woman is something that should be contained. not roaming around New York on a Thursday afternoon.”

“She’s a human being. No telling what you freaks have put her through in the raft- that’s probably why she’s going insane. You don’t even allow sunlight in that dingy of a prison. You treat someone like an animal, that’s what they become. Now, if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to run my own safety diagnostics on my own tower.” Tony quickly ended the call and lifted his eyes to meet Steve’s. “Can I help you, o wise elder of the yonder village?”

“Just... a new comm piece.” Steve stepped forward and tossed the broken pieces to the desk before meeting Tony’s eyes again. “What was that all about?”

“That is a surprise for the team I’m arranging.” Tony sat down at his desk, pulling up an image of a new weapon system, one that they’d encountered a few weeks ago on a mission. “These thugs were dealing with now... they’re sophisticated. They’re playing on a new ball field. So... I’m leveling it.”

“You can’t just do that without consulting the team first.” Steve scolded, his arms crossing over his chest. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see- tomorrow morning at ten, have the team all meet in the conference room. I’ll bring my surprise to you.” Tony grinned, feeling strangely optimistic for once. Steve only sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Tony.

“Fine- I’ll call a meeting.” Steve spun on his heel and marched out of the office. Tony sank further into his chair, spinning it to look out of the window.

“Friday, make sure floor ninety two is fireproof.” Tony called out, a twinge of doubt forming in his mind. He was quick to shake the thought from his mind, funneling all his belief into his sister. It had to work. For her sake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting at the oval conference table, Bucky felt an impatience he hadn’t felt in months. Steve had let it slip- more like Bucky could tell there was something and kept prying- that Tony was on the phone with someone, talking about a prisoner. A woman prisoner. Bucky wasn’t sure what to expect and that caused a great deal of anxiety to pit in his chest. He didn’t like being kept in the dark.

Beside him, Steve sighed heavily, leaning his head on his fist, resting on the table. Being roommates with the guy, he knew Steve hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep last night, like most nights. He knew this because he himself was also up, roaming the apartment, watching tv and staring off the balcony.

“Anyone know what this surprise it stark mentioned?” Natasha pressed, becoming quite impatient herself. They’d all been sitting at the table for fifteen minutes. Waiting.

“No clue- I hope it’s better than the last surprise- the one that exploded while in use on the field.” Sam commented, scrolling absentmindedly on his phone.

Finally, the door to the room burst open, revealing Tony Stark marching in with purpose. Behind him, a woman in heavy chains, with metal cylinders encasing her hands, was being escorted in by two men in fire retardant kevlar uniforms. Her head was bowed, dark brown hair shifting to cover her face. Bucky sat up, seeing the woman marched in, heavily restrained. Tony clapped his hands, rubbing them together afterward. He gave the crowd a large smile and nodded once.

“Surprise, Avengers! This is my favorite sister, Tessa Stark, Tess, this is everyone. I’m sure you were given the brochure.” He turned to the two men. “You fulfilled your duties, you can go now.”

The men unclipped the chains and then pressed their thumbprints to the pads on the cylinders. They released with a hiss of steam, Tessa rubbing her wrists once they were free.

“I know you.” Sam’s voice broke into the conversation. Tessa’s jaw clenched and her eyes stared into the floor. She swallowed harshly, keeping her back ramrod straight and her hands in front of her. “Stark... oh, shit- where have I seen you...”

“Anyways folks, she is here to help out on our new group of rogues... she has a, ah... particular set of skills. Mostly explosives and fire. And since that’s what we’re dealing with, I’ve brought in the big guns.” Tony explained, settling in his chair and gesturing for Tessa to take a seat as well. She seemed wary of sitting beside Wanda but did it anyways, sitting barely on the edge of the chair. “Now, we’re gonna need a new plan of attack with-“

“Atlas!” Sam snapped his fingers, pointing at her. Tessa stiffened, caught off guard by the level of his voice. “That’s it! Code Name Atlas, Operation Dry Sands! You served in the army- I’m Sam Wilson, I flew with-“

“Riley...” her voice was raspy and low, rusted with disuse. “I remember you.” Bucky watched as she seemingly tried to melt into the chair, trying to hide herself.

“You were baller, man! She cleared missions like it was nothing!” Sam praised her, excited to finally meet her. “There was talk of her all over camps- everywhere!”

“Atlas?” Natasha asked, a brow raising. “That’s a peculiar code name- sounds... specific.” Tessa didn’t respond, keeping her head low. When the room fell silent, Steve took control.

“Right, well, Tony you mentioned a new plan of attack?” He expertly guided the topic over to a new path. Bucky couldn’t help but let his attention drift back to the new mystery in the room. He allowed his eyes to scan over her, stopping on her forearm where there was black ink. A tattoo of the army symbol, numbers below it. Maybe her squad number? Her arm shifted and Bucky looked up, meeting her eyes. He knew he’d fucked up.

Her dark brown eyes smoldered- a red tint glowing under her irises. Her lips were pulled into a scowl. He quickly lowered his gaze, catching a glance of her veins in her arms. glowing lightly orange. Bucky clenched his jaw and leaned back into his chair, a fierce scowl building on his lips. He didn’t like this woman, She seemed... violent. closed off. Hell- maybe she was just too much like him. And maybe he shouldn’t make a snap assumption but for some reason...

“Alright well, that’s all for now, Tessa- welcome to the team, please make yourself comfortable and if there’s anything we can do to help out- let us know.” Steve nodded as he stood up.

Tessa only nodded, stood up and spun on her heel- leaving the room without a word. Everyone glanced to Tony. He only shrugged and stood up.

“I’m gonna go make her feel at home- just got out of prison and all, see you around.” Tony gave a small wave over his shoulder and walked out, trailing out after his explosive sister.

[baby-bearie]

3 am - D.S.

a/n: i definitely posted this before, but for some reason it has disappeared off of the face of tumblr, so here it is again. actually one of my favorite imagines.

it was insane. everything felt insane.

everything feels insane in the ungodly hours of the morning.

but here you both were, at 2:49 am, standing in front of andrew's house.

andrew was never a good boyfriend. no, he wasn't ever violent. but the most common pains are never physical. he hurt you. he acted like you barely even existed, ditched you for his friends or for other girls he insisted he was just friends with, and was rather possessive about who you hung out with. that was what ultimately led to your break-up. andrew was always jealous. often unrealistically, but he was jealous of daniel, your best friend. in the past, andrew had succeeded in convincing you that your friends were against you, and got you to even push a few good people out of your life. but the line was drawn when it came to daniel. so when andrew started telling you that daniel was no good for you, you instead began to question if andrew was no good for you.

funny enough, it was him who broke up with you.because he assumed that you were messing around with daniel. heated words were exchanged, and he called it. you were upset from the fight, but subconsciously relieved because you had begun to realize that andrew was the real problem.

but that didn't mean you weren't heartbroken. it still hurt as much as any other break-up. so you went to your best friend, daniel.

at 8 pm, you were at his house. the second he saw your blotchy cheeks and red nose at his door his expression changed from confusion to concern.

"hey, hey, whoa. why are you crying?" he tugged you into his apartment and closed the door behind.

"a-andrew broke up with me." you reached up to wipe away your tears.

"oh, god. what a dick." daniel ran a hand through his hair.

daniel might have seemed averagely calm to the untrained eye, but you had known him for too long. the way his foot began tapping as if he needed to do something, the tiny bit of extra force with which he threw up his hands. he was angry.

"yeah, i know. it's okay, im okay."

"c'mon let's get your mind off it."

and daniel had really tried to force you to forget. the two of you baked, binged and bawled. well, you bawled and daniel sat there comforting you, hating andrew with a passion.

at about 11pm, you decided you might as well stay the night at daniel's since you were gonna be back tomorrow morning for more moral support.

however, at 12:30 am you were still awake, lying on daniel's bed. daniel had, as usual, insisted you have the bed and he went to sleep on the couch. but judging by the shuffling noises coming from the living room, he wasn't asleep either. you laid awake for a little longer until finally drifting off at 12:57.

at 2:09, your eyes snapped open. your feeling of restlessness from the night was replaced with a subtle anger. you felt the need to punch a wall and scream-cry. you wanted to even the playing field. you barely hesitated to question the feeling before tiptoeing down the hall to the couch, where daniel sprawled. he laid on his back, his long limbs were awkwardly sprawled out over the couch.

you lightly nudged his shoulder, causing him to shift his position, almost slapping you as he did.

"dani. daniel, wake up."

daniel's eyes fluttered open to you hovering above him, brows furrowed and hair spilling over your shoulders.

he groaned a bit. "(y/n), what time is it?"

his voice was groggy, and your heart beat a bit faster.

you ignored that.

you looked up to see the clock and looked back down at him, smiling sympathetically. "2 am."

"2 am?!" daniel groaned, turning back into the couch to sleep, rolling into his blanket.

"daniiii, come on!" you whined, trying and failing to roll him back over. when you got no response, you grabbed the blanket and yanked it out from under him. the boy inside tumbled out onto the carpet and you stood above him.

"c'mon. let's go."

"where?"

"anywhere."

at 2:20 am, daniel had not been expecting to be climbing into the driver seat of his car. this was one of many surprises that night.

the first was, of course, (y/n) showing up at his apartment with blotchy cheeks, crying about her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend.

the second was the hurt he felt for her, the need to take away her pain, to make the hurt stop.

the third surprise of the night was the anger he slowly built up. the anger that anyone could treat her the way andrew did. daniel was such a calm person, so why the sudden urge to smack down andrew?

all these emotions overwhelmed daniel, who was growing more and more awake as he drove (y/n) around aimlessly, hoping she'd tell him what was going on.

but the fourth surprise happened in the morning, at 2:34 am when daniel glanced over at (y/n) to see her leaning her head on the window, smiling gently. the moonlight barely illuminated her as it reflected off the window and daniel felt one of the biggest surprises of his life.

he was in love with his best friend.

taking a few deep breaths, daniel ripped his eyes off the girl next to him and set them back on the road ahead. clearing his throat he asked for the fourth time.

"where are we going?"

"turn left."

he turned.

"(y/n) seriously, wh"-

"turn left again."

"wait a second are we"-

"turn right."

(y/n) went to get out of the car, but daniel was quick to lock the doors.

"what are we doing here?" daniel turned to look at you and you turned away, failing to notice the slight change in the way he looked at you.

"andrew's going to have what he deserves."

"god, (y/n), have you thought this out at all?" daniel threw his head back, covering his face with his hands.

"of course i have, that's why there's eggs in the backseat."

"huh- what?" daniel whipped around in his seat, craning over to see two cases of eggs sitting in the back seat. he turned back to you, who was smiling as you reached over him to unlock the doors.

"let's go, you big baby."

daniel groaned but stepped out of the car, reaching into the back to get the egg cases.

you both stood on the lawn. he held the eggs above your head when you reached for them.

"before i give you these, are you entirely sure that you want to do this?"

you rolled your eyes at him.

"yes, mom. i hate how tall you are."

he smiled and handed you an egg case. the two of you turned to face the large face of the house.

2:49 am

and now here you were, standing in front of andrew's house, with a boy who you knew would do anything for you.

"you get the front and i'll get the sides." he whispered.

and he was gone.

2:56 am

you both stood in front on your masterpiece, admiring it.

"he always was an egghead." you whispered.

daniel chuckled at that.

he turned to face you as you scanned the house for missed spots.

2:57 am

"dani, stop staring, it's creepy." you spoke without even looking at him.

he smiled at the ground, shaking his head.

you laughed and took his hand, pulling him towards the car.

2:58 am

you sat in the car, but daniel wasn't preparing to back out. you waited patiently, looking out the window at the streetlights.

2:59 am

"(y/n)."

"yeah?" you turned to look at daniel and the sight almost startled you.

his eyes sparkled with a new intensity you'd never seen. he was barely a couple inches away from you and you could feel his breath dust your face.

daniels eyes searched yours for any signs of you stopping, of you not wanting this, but you seemed to lean in a bit more.

3 am

daniel's lips met yours and you melted. it was one moment that seemed to stretch into millions. if love poems and love songs were a moment, this was that moment. you could feel him smiling into the kiss and you smiled back.

a light flicked on.

you and daniel jerked apart, wide eyes looking up at the house. the top window was open, and bright light flooded out.

"hey! you! hey!"

you and daniel looked at each other.

3:01 am

"DRIVE, YOU IDIOT, DRIVE!"

tags: @annabseavey @coolkidcorbyn @anxious-avery @danieldelicate @babyzacharyy @perfectlyseavey @seqveydaniel @zachheroin @katie-avery @5sos-seavey

[all-hail-the-witcher]

Soft but angst Ralbert where one of them has had a day that starts taking a toll on them emotionally, and when it all climaxes they start having a panic attack over something small like forgetting socks and someone else in the friend group snaps at them because “it’s just socks” and tells them to get it together and then the other half of the ship gets super protective of the one whose panicking and snaps at the friend who snapped and then helps the boyf??? Is that too complicated???

WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THATSAPH IS BACK WITH THE REQUESTSYEEEEET_________ship: ralberrtttttt what elsegenre: flangst, s o m f o r twarnings: Very Descriptive panic attack, shitty pet names, Finch is an asshole accidentallywords: like uhh 1200editing: i thinkst the fuckst not_________

There wasn't a single thing Race hated more than his brain. Why did it choose to freak out over the smallest, most trivial things? He didn't know. Why did it seek out dark corners to dwell upon? He also didn't know. Why did it choose to freak out at the worst possible time? You guessed it, he didn't know.

He strolled into rehearsal that morning, hand in hand with his boyfriend Albert, fully aware of the rocky state of his stomach and the fuzziness clouding his mind that he couldn't seem to shake. He had had woken up in a panic, feeling dangerously lightheaded after a nightmare that had left him on edge at three am, followed soon after by breaking a glass in the kitchen while eating breakfast which subsequently caused him and Albert to miss the subway, and when they did finally get on an older man had flipped him the finger after he leaned heavily onto Albert’s shoulder and planted a kiss on his cheek. Luckily, Albert had been occupied with something on his phone, and hadn’t noticed the tears that threatened to spill from Race’s eyes, otherwise he would be bandaging his knuckles in a walgreens bathroom right now.

Race forced himself to take a deep breath as he placed his bag down on the bench in the locker room, blocking out the deafening chatter around him as he slowly and deliberately pressed the pad of his thumb to each of his fingers, using his other hand to root around in his dance bag for a pair of socks, making sure to focus on his breathing as he-

Where were his socks?

He swore he had packed them.

Breathing forgotten, he navigated through the contents of his dance bag at random, pulling out stray shoes, shirts and a few plastic water bottles, until all of his belongings were strewn across the bench and the surrounding floor, no socks in sight.

His vision began to blur as he shoved the haphazard items back into his bag, some landing on the floor because of his trembling hands. Blinking hard and forcing himself to swallow the rising unnecessary panic in his throat, he stumbled over to where Albert was chatting with Finch as he pulled on his warm up clothes. Upon seeing Race approaching, he smiled brightly, an action that Race fought to return. He couldn't let Albert know he was slipping right now, it had been weeks since the last time this had happened and he had been doing so well.

“Hey broski, what's up?” Albert leaned against the wall casually, his signature smirk playing across his lips.

Race smiled shakily. “Do you, uh, have a pair of….socks i could borrow?” He ducked his head slightly, fighting against the tightness consuming his chest.

���Yeah, of course,” Albert said, turning his back to Race to dig through his bag. As he did so, Race began to feel his nerves lessen. He would make it through this, he would be okay, he would be-

“Jeez dude,” Finch said suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Don't lose your mind over it, it’s just a pair of damn socks.”

Race felt his breathing pick up again as he saw his hands visibly begin to shake in front of him. He knew he wasn't okay, he knew he was sinking, but it felt like he was experiencing it from an outside perspective and there was nothing he could do but stand there, rooted in place and let the all too familiar feeling of hopelessness and dread wash over him that came with an attack.

In a last attempt at sanity he felt his eyes flick up to Albert, who was just turning back around, a pair of socks in hand.

•••

“Finch, what the hell,” Albert hissed, dropping the socks he was holding and hurdling over the bench, focus trained on Race who was half slumped over, clutching his arms to his body as he shook violently.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“I don't wanna hear it,” Albert snapped loudly, lowering his voice significantly as he noticed Race’s recoil at his tone of voice. “Just go, okay? You’ve done enough damage.” He didn't look up, but the quick footsteps and bang of the door shutting indicated quite clearly that Finch had left.

“Hey dude,” Albert whispered softly, standing in front of Race. “Can you hear me?”

Race’s head moved in a tiny nod and Albert sighed in relief. At least it hadn’t gotten really bad yet, he could still pull him out.

“Think you can sit down?”

When Race failed to respond, Albert tried again. “I’ll do it with you, see?” Albert sat down slowly on the floor, watching as Race slowly followed, his shaking legs threatening to buckle, but making it to the ground all the same.

“Good, that’s good,” Albert praised, keeping his hands in his lap where Race could see them. “Can you look at me, Racer?”

Slowly, Race’s tear filled blue eyes lifted to meet Albert’s. They were glazed over, and darted away every few seconds, but he was still trying and Albert was immensely proud of him for that.

“Yes, just like that,” Albert smiled gently, keeping his voice low and steady despite the nerves that were seeking into his stomach. He hated seeing Race like this. “I need you to breathe with me, okay? Let’s take a nice big breath in…” He sucked the air in through his nose in an over exaggerated fashion, and Race followed with a much shakier one. “Good, now hold,” Albert directed, holding for four beats, watching Race carefully. “And blow out,” he said, expelling the air through his mouth. “Good, Racer, you’re doing great,” he assured, beginning the breathing process again.

As he guided Race through the measured breaths, he let his mind wander. How had he not noticed Race was slipping? Sure it had been a few weeks since his last panic attack, and he’d been making good progress, but he should have picked up on the signs, then maybe Race wouldn’t be struggling to breathe right now, maybe-

“Al…?”

Albert was ripped suddenly from his thoughts by a soft, unsteady voice.

“Yes?”

Race twisted his hands in his lap for a second before opening his arms sheepishly, his quiet voice barely heard above the music seeping in from the studio. “Hug?”

“Of course, I got you cupcake.” Albert gently pulled Race into his lap, beginning to rub gentle circles into the back of his hands as he hummed quietly.

“I’m safe, right?” Race muttered into Albert’s shoulder after several more long minutes of calming breaths.

“Yes, you’re safe,” Albert assured, running his fingers through Races hair. “You’re okay. I’m okay. We’re okay. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

“Okay,” Race mumbled, yawning slightly.

“You can rest. I got you.” Albert said, shifting into a more comfortable position as Race began to nod off.

“I love you,” Race whispered tiredly as his eyes began to fall closed.

“I love you too cupcake,” Albert smiled fondly. It didn’t matter to him that Race had had an attack. All that mattered was that he was okay, and he would be there for him next time.

__________

kfjdjsja i lov writing comfort it’s such a yeethuuu thanks mikey for cupcake ;)I guess the writing is Back so if anyone’s got a request shove it in the ask box and I’ll try to get to itfeedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the tag list

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[beccawastaken]

My life summarized Pt. 1...

I started this blog cause there is always so much in my head, it moves at the speed of light, some of it makes complete and utter sense, some of it sounds great til the very second it rolls off my tongue and then sounds nothing like it did in my head, some of it is just random nonsensical stuff that seems to have fallen off a stand up comedians cue cards and straight into the part of my psyche that prefers her own lyrics. It makes it very hard to focus on one task to completion, I even tend to put down my guitar and journal for months on end...so sad!

I must admit that I have worked my ass off to try to make some kind of sense of it all and now when I am unable to rather than let frustration take over I tend to find my random head ramblings amusing. I mean it is often a frustrated, shaking my head at myself kind of amusing but still...baby steps right? 

Sometimes the thoughts can be so intense and so rapid that its overwhelming and it takes every ounce of my strength not to scream til it stops. At its worst its almost like there are so many thoughts moving so quickly that it can sound like a constant high pitch buzz in my head. Super exhausting, and difficult to explain to those around you. People tell me to just go to sleep...ever tried sleeping with a shop vac on or inside a construction site? That would be comparable to this, plus, sleeping also isn't my forte so I’m double fucked so to speak.

The human mind and psyche intrigues me to no end. The way it works, and how the basic brain functions are the same across society yet our perception and the cogs and wheels inside each skull are as unique as our deoxyribonucleic acid. For each and every one of us, the way we tick can be vastly different from one another, from the person beside you on the bus, to that guy you’ve worked with for years to a lover or spouse and often really have no way of knowing. I mean how often do we turn to each other and say “can we talk about how your brain works?” We just take for granted that it does and don’t give it a second thought.(haha you will come to notice my love for puns)

Its the intricate differences between us that keep me interested in this self sabotaging species, I mean really, Earth doesn’t need humans to survive, in fact it may be better off without us! Who knows, what I do know is that while im here on this seemingly massive planet im going to make the most of it. 

I have a wicked sense of humour (ask anyone haha) and I enjoy messing with people (in a jovial way of course). Im talking like practical joke type of messing with people, light, innocent funny shit. I have been referred to as a brain ninja...I took it as a compliment, however, when you are on the receiving end its possible that it isnt nearly as enjoyable. I do my best not to be mean (I said I do my best, I am not perfect) cause you know, I’m no psycho, although some will attest to that statement not being true, I have honed my inner psycho and now only use her when absolutely necessary. Like if some douchelord crosses one of my angels or my grandson. Then my wrath should be feared, simple enough right? (WOW that escalated quickly! O_O)

I just do not want to waste my life, I spent so much of it not knowing how to handle daily life, assuming (naturally cause why wouldn’t I as a single child raised by someone that constantly blamed others and the world for her problems) that everyone’s mind worked the same, everybody deals with the racing and loops of thoughts you cant kick, or falls asleep with a song stuck in they’re head and wakes up and it starts again as if paused. Every morning. (Don’t drop that duh duh duh....grrr) For days! I mean doesn't everybody worry about every move they make, and lay in bed with they’re eyes closed trying to sleep and checking the clock twenty minutes later only to find SURPRISE, its been three hours! Or this relentless saviour complex I have, I can solve almost anyone's problem or at least help them find a path they are more comfy with but for years when it came to mine, I just couldn’t. This is just a few of the things i deal with or have been forced to deal with this life, Im sure i will touch on more. 

I have my children to thank for helping me learn how to deal with my version of life and not giving up on me when I know it would have been easier at times. (Dont drop that duhduhduh....ugh) I want to be honest in this blog, I pride myself on my honesty yet shy away from the darker, not so beautiful sides of who I am as if they don’t exist to the outside world. The thing is, I do not look sick, in fact I look great, besides a few extra pounds. My illness is not a physical one yet it has complete control from the inside out a lot of the time. I work very hard on a daily basis so I do not look like I am falling apart.

I feel emotions at a much higher level than the majority of humanity, I know this now. I don’t feel a lil bit of anything, if im sad, im so sad that even just being in my presence can break your heart. If something good happens and I feel a twinge of joy, I literally have to physically hold myself still sometimes cause it will surge like a lightening bolt through me and often some strange squeak comes out, fingers fully extended as if the energy just exploded form my core and out my extremities. Then, just as fast as it surges it disappears and there I am a woman bordering forty with this maniacal smile on my face like the joker and hair standing up like the professor from Back to The Future. Its quite a sight I am sure, and as much as it has been really hard to work with this side of myself I would rather be inside looking out and have to fix my hair then the onlookers forced to decide between the choice to ask if I am alright or back away slowly. Same with anger, although we have a bit of a deeper connection than other emotions, yea, thats right, we tight. Let me explain...or try;

I like to think my anger trigger point was when grandpa died, but looking back that is ridiculous, I was pissed at both my parents for what they put me through during the divorce but refused to take it out on them, they were in enough pain, they couldn't see it but i sure could.  When I am angry I scare people, I seem to fear nothing (not sure if that’s brave or not) and once I am angry there is no going back, I am completely incorrigible, illogical and refuse to listen. I have scared off men twice my size, not with violence of the physical kind, my verbal violence can be so articulated that I honestly think some people are scared to the core. I have shocked myself at times and thats not easy. Once I realized that I was growing into my version of the hulk I had to do something, I was starting to hate everyone and everything. 

I started replacing the empty yet extremely fucked up (for lack of a better word) threats with just simply making light of what it was that triggered me, albeit in an aggressive manner however it has proven effective in attempting to analyze what set me off and try to stop the rage fuelled rant.

I really wanted to give you an example but as I was trying to find one it proved difficult so im gonna call that progress. Anyway this venting became humorous to those around me, they all knew me so well that they would turn they’re heads and try not to laugh (ever been laughed at when your livid? its not cool, same as if are upset and someone says ‘calm down’ calm down, CALM DOWN?! like fuck off n all if you honestly believe im not trying, you think i wanna feel this way? like this is some kind of sick joke for me? pfft people!) in an attempt to not be caught in the crossfire of my verbal war. 

At first this angered me too (go figure, Hulkbitch) then one day, someone laughed and I took a step back and thought about what I had said and started laughing. Clearly my loved ones weren't laughing at my agony, but the words and descriptions i used to figure it out did tend to be funny. It takes a lot for me to get angry like that now, if I do tho, I still vent with sarcastic wit and make myself laugh to bring myself out of it. 

I think I have myself in line pretty well now, I guess I should give some history here, I was a very happy child on the outside but a ball of nerves within, my mother was extremely mentally ill (which i did not know til after her passing) and my father was a violent alcoholic. Luckily I was sheltered from the worst of what they put each other through as they separated when I was 2, but fought and fought and fought over me for nine years. My mum would insist dad never wanted me he just didn't want her to have me, said that I was never good enough in his eyes cause he wanted a boy. Dad, would point out the homeless lady pushing all her belongings in a shopping cart and say “hey kid, thats where your mum is headed, just you watch”. I know now they were just dealing in their own ways with what was happening between them but it really messed with me. 

My father, my daddy, quit drinking not long after the separation, i to this day believe that he did this not only for himself but for me, to show me that no matter what you can make changes, just gotta face the problem head on and deal with it so you can move past it. He was always a tough, vulgar, strong, stubborn, hilarious and short lil french man with an ego the size of Goliath. He taught me not to take shit from anyone if I believed in the topic at hand and to learn to turn a cold shoulder when needed. Emotions were not discussed, Im not even sure to this day if I can remember him ever saying I love you, but he didn’t have to, I know he did. 

Mum had her own ways of dealing over the years, she was all emotion, raw and uncut. She would always react first, think later, which meant she felt the need to apologize a lot.  For her mistake, for not being good enough, for not doing well enough this was so hard to watch. She would repeat the same self defeating patterns she had been doing her whole life and expecting things to change. Definition if insanity much? shitty part is back then they had no fucking idea what insanity was, nor did they care to look. Had someone just took her side and spoke for her she would still be here, if only she was honest with me about how sick she was, I may never have gotten as sick as I did. She thought she was protecting me...

This woman was the sun to my moon and I loved her more than words can ever express. She never believed me when I said it, she always said right up til the end that nobody ever loved her. I know this was not true cause I figured my dad wouldn't get so mad about stuff if he didn't care, the opposite of love is not hate, its indifference. Mum was always in and out of the hospital and it was super hush hush, I assumed she had cancer. I was petrified to lose her, so I didn’t ask questions, just waited.

The custody battle went on and on, I remember my dad pushing our 1970somthing car up the street for some reason, didn't phase me much. I just said “oh look theres my daddy, he looks mad!”. We went to Expo ‘86 in British Columbia and mum was subpoena’d to come back to the prairies for court immediately, so she had to leave her vacation just to go back and find out it was remanded.  They were both so angry all the time, I thought it was my fault...had I not been there there would be nothing left to fight about right?

Okay so divorce was finalized when I was 11...Grandma and grandpa (mums side) loved the shit out of me too, ive seen pics of gramma in the military which made sense as I grew up as to why she was so tough but she must have been retired by time I was born. They bought an old ‘70s van and converted it into beds in the back, a table and even a port a potty! They lovingly got personalized plates with my name and the number “2″ after it. They took really good care of me, always loved me and wanted what was best.

I remember around 10yrs old I realized my initials were B.S. and I was not impressed at all as not one word that came out my mouth (at that age) was BS. I was insulted and wanted it changed, plus I knew it would make mum happy if I changed my name to hers. The divorce was finalized my initials were changed to B.J....JUST in time for puberty, (woooooooo) yeah, didn't live that one down for a very long time.

My reason for bringing up my grandparents is so that you all know that aside from this somewhat bleak story thus far, I had many people that loved me, including mum and dad, they just preferred to fight about it. 

Shit, fuck, damn, I just had a memory, not a good one but I spoz thats why our brains block things out eh? I do not know how this came about, my mother was very abused growing up and it took a toll on her.  I remember mum and the  grandparents fighting, i remember gramma telling mum to get her head out of her ass and i remember trying to picture that...I was not going to be seeing them for a while til things cooled down.

Mum was sure that my grandpa had molested me, I am not going to say it didn’t happen but as far as I can recall my grandpa was the sweetest most loving man ever. anyway, mum was questioning me, yelling, badgering me and generally acting crazy i spoz, this was before I know what that looked like.  She kept asking inches from my face if he had done anything to me and i maintained that he hadn’t. Finally hours later I was tired and hungry and she was clearly still psychotic she yelled at me are you sure (for the millionth time) I finally yelled out “fine, he did it!” I had no idea what he had done, or when, cause i wasn't there i just wanted her to stop. She was making herself crazy and it broke my heart. I didn't see my grandparents again for three years. Grandpa had gone senile and was not himself, didnt remember close family members etc. When I got there, I ran in the house and we met at the doorway, me at the bottom of the entrance stairs and him at the top. I smiled, and he looked at me puzzled, then started crying, then laughing then crying. I was so glad he got to remember me. I missed him so much.

This was all before I was even a teenager. Grandpa died not long after he was put in a care home cause gramma wasn't able to care for him. His death was my first experience with such a thing, I had no way of knowing how to deal with a loss like this...so I guess I just didn’t.

[maple-keenes]

the third disaster: it isn’t that hard, is it?

the first disaster | the second disaster | the third disaster | the fourth disaster | the fifth disaster

summary: i mean, come on, guys. 

warnings: cursing, remus, deceit, dukeceit

pairings: mainly dukeceit with background analogical

wc: 2371

a/n: haha the title is a double entendre haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

taglist: @analogical-chaos @ilovemygaydad @alltimevirgilant @virgiliananxiety @romanticsanders @theincediblesulk @wroammin @creativity-killed-thekitten @bitchyybabyy400 @wooflesthatwoof @lyditist @heck-im-lost @max-is-tired @demurphart @thelowlysatsuma @land-of-dragons-and-frogs @theeternalspace @magicallygrimmwiccan @weirdsthenewnormal @romansleftshoulderpad @andrewisabraveboy @satanblessi @supbitchss @diamondrush862 @princeyssash @ab-artist

--

Remus has not had a particularly hard life. 

By all accounts and purposes, his brother has had it much harder than him. Remus is just the high school weirdo with clinical depression and a thing for cephalopods, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, he’s just not cool. 

One thing he loved to do (and still loves, though you’d never know it) is writing. Writing was an outlet for all the damaging and strange thoughts that crossed his head in the middle of the night when no one was there for him to talk to, and so his notebooks are full of a brave duke defeating corrupt unicorns and demons. 

He will never be the prince. Roman will always be the prince. 

One thing Remus is absolutely awful at, however, is relationships. Not counting his dozens of one night stands (he prides himself on being quite the lay), he’s had two boyfriends and only one has lasted more than two weeks. 

But oh well. So he’s the worse brother, probably unlovable, but it’s fine. He’s fine. 

That is, until his brother’s best friend’s fiance’s friend rings him up to ask if he knows Virgil, and Remus falls and falls hard. When it rains, it pours and all that. 

DC is conventionally attractive, to say the least, with gorgeous green eyes and vitiligo patterning his face like a snake’s scales. Remus’s imagination makes him a dragon prince, and he is the fairest man in the whole kingdom. 

He is beautiful. 

And he falls in love with Remus. 

When DC calls him a week later to ask him out for coffee, Remus is sure he’s dreaming. 

When they go on their second date and DC kisses him in the back of the movie theater, he’s floating on air. 

By their third date, making this the longest relationship Remus has ever been in, he is sure that DC is the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. 

Not only is DC May gorgeous, he’s sweet, and sarcastic, and he gets Remus in a way that no one else ever has before. They are each other’s best friends. Soulmates. 

Patton, who is Remus’s other best friend, is absolutely enamored with their relationship. He’s the one that pushes Remus to ask DC to move in with him, the one who brings Roman back down from his desire to hurt DC when they fight a bit, and the one who, when it’s two years later and Logan and Virgil are desperately trying to get through the adoption process and Roman is struggling to find work as a trans actor, that convinces Remus that if he’s going to propose to DC, the time is now. 

(This is Remus’s story, after all. Even intertwined with the rest of the other’s stories, it is still his own personal disasters and relationships that lead to the one we’re trying to tell. So we leave Logan and Virgil and Roman and Patton to their own stories that I’ve now established when they are happening in relation to this story, and focus on the massive screw-up that’s about to happen. 

I’m excited. Aren’t you?)

So it’s through the intervention of Patton that Remus gets up one afternoon after working wherever, at some job, and drives down to the jewelry store by his apartment to find a ring. 

It’s not extravagant, it’s a simple ring with an emerald in it (Remus’s favorite color, the color of DC’s eyes), but it’s perfect for him. Besides, diamonds are overrated anyways. It’s a corrupt industry and Remus may be a bastard but he’s bastard with some semblance of morals. 

Remus booked a table for two at a riverfront restaurant, the fancy kind, and bought the right kind of flowers (there was an incident with flowers and allergies about a year ago. DC swears he’s forgiven him, but Remus isn’t really supposed to do flowers anymore). 

He picked DC up from work and brought him home, trying to be as nice as possible so that DC felt special and not like, ignored, or something. Oh god, did he feel like Remus was smothering him instead? 

Deal with that later. 

Once at dinner, Remus’s leg bounced up and down as he and DC chatted idly about work and their friends and other stuff. After they’d ordered, he reached across the table and took DC’s hand, smiling softly at him. 

“All of my life, I thought that I would never find someone like you. And… I did,” Remus began, taking a deep breath. “I found you. But for some reason, it always feels like something’s missing.” 

DC raised an eyebrow, concerned. “Yeah?” 

“And - I know now what that something is. DC, you deserve someone fantastic, and amazing -” 

“Get on with it.” 

“And I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore!” Remus blurted, going fumbling around in his coat pocket for the box. “I want -” 

He stood up abruptly and grabbed his coat, Remus still turned around looking for the ring. “Well, at least you had the decency to break up with me to my face, but I hope you know you’re an asshole, Remus Kingsley!” DC yelled, and the rest of the restaurant turned and some of the people even gave Remus a fairly dirty look. He set the ring box on the table hopelessly and rested his face in his hands, the lady at the table next to him leaning over to ask, “What did you do?”

“Tried to propose and fucked it up royally,” he mumbled, holding open the ring box. “I ought to go talk to him.” 

She shook her head violently. “Do not do that. Give him some space for like, a day, then call him and if he doesn’t pick up, call his best friend. Explain to them what happened and see if they’ll let you talk to him. Then you explain to him what you were trying to do, and pray to whatever God you believe in that he doesn’t completely hate you.” 

“Thank you, random woman in this restaurant,” Remus said, rather enthusiastically. “I genuinely appreciate that.” 

Remus drove home in melancholic silence, due to the fact that it was conveniently raining right then, and parked his car in the driveway. DC had probably gone to Logan and Virgil’s to hide out, so Remus figured he ought to go talk to someone who knew DC and wasn’t afraid to tell him that he was being a complete idiot - so he started his car again, turned around, and drove straight to his twin brother’s apartment. 

When he knocked on the door, Roman opened it, rolled his eyes, and walked back inside. “What did you do? Who do I need to bury?” 

“Well, I think I accidentally broke up with DC,” he admitted sheepishly, and Roman whirled around, startled. 

“How the hell do you ‘accidentally’ break up with someone?” he asked in disbelief. 

Remus huffed, frustrated. “I was trying to propose.” 

“How - what - Remus!” Roman sputtered. “How do you fuck that up?” 

“I tried to propose -” he held his hand out to the left, “- and I screwed it up,” he finished, holding his other hand out to the right. “Simple as that.” 

He groaned. “That isn’t simple! Do you know how much skill it requires to be that goddamn stupid?” 

Remus shot him a lopsided grin. “I don’t know, but I’m sure you can help me, since you’ve mastered it.” 

“They will literally never find your body. They won’t.”

He crossed his arms and sighed heavily. “Fine. Can you please help me? I need to talk to him.” 

“And why -” 

“Because if you do, I’ll spend all my time with my husband and not at your house.” 

“Sold,” Roman replied, holding his hand out for Remus to shake on it. “Still hate you.” 

Remus laughed, shaking his brother’s hand. “I know.” 

Meanwhile, at Logan and Virgil’s little house in the suburbs, DC was clutching a pillow and crying silently and Virgil sat next to him and rubbed his back comfortingly. 

“I really thought he loved me,” he sniffed, wiping his tears with the hand not being used to squish the pillow. “I was so in love with him…” 

“I am deeply apologetic,” Logan said, bouncing his son up and down on his hip, “however, could you hold Remy for a minute? He loves his uncle and I need to eat before I pass out. Virgil, try to help and no swearing!” 

DC nodded and accepted his nephew, setting him down on top of the pillow. Virgil rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at his husband, turning back to DC. “I bet he does love you, honestly. What exactly did Remus say?” 

“Um… he said… that he thought he’d never find someone like me… and that he was so glad he did,” he recalled, “but that something was missing. And that he knew what it was, and that I deserved someone amazing, and just as fantastic as me, and then he said that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.” DC stifled a sob. “He kind of… turned around and started shuffling around in his jacket for something, so I stood up and ran out.” 

Logan poked his head in the room frantically, mouth full of sandwich. “Holy shit!” 

“HEY -”

“I think he was trying to propose!” he exclaimed, tossing the rest of the sandwich onto the counter. 

DC wrapped Remy in a protective hug, trying to shield him from his insane fathers. “What are you talking about?” 

Virgil’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god, babe, you’re right! Dee, he was trying to propose! He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend, he’s hoping you’ll be his fiance!” 

“Of course! It all makes sense!” Logan replied, gesturing frantically. “You have to call him.” 

“No!” he said, “No way. He broke my goddamn heart, Logan!” 

Logan scoffed. “He didn’t mean to.” 

DC sniffled again, and he handed Remy, who was babbling about something, to his dad and he walked off and flopped down onto the guest bed and did not cry.

Virgil sighed, bouncing Remy up and down on his lap. “What are we gonna do about these two?” 

“Roman’s calling,” Logan deadpanned, holding up his phone. “Twenty bucks he’s with Remus.” 

Virgil rolled his eyes as Logan picked up the phone, greeting the person on the other side. He pulled the phone away from his ear and mouthed, ‘It’s Roman.’ He stuck his tongue out at his husband, who shook his head and continued his phone call, setting it to speakerphone. 

“Hey, Roman,” Virgil said, still playing with his son. “What’s up?”

“Is DC there?” he asked, his voice a bit exasperated. 

Both men sighed collectively. “Yeah,” Logan responded, “he’s crying in the guest room right now. Why?”

“Perfect. So, I assume you two have figured out that my brother royally fucked up his proposal?” 

He laughed. “So he was trying to propose! God, these two are… awful at relationships.” 

Logan nodded in agreement. “I assume that we have to salvage this somehow?” he inquired, folding his arms across his chest, which Remy attempted to mimic. 

“Obviously!” Roman exclaimed. “Are you kidding me? I refuse to let this relationship die. It’s the only thing that keeps me from having to deal with Remus 24/7!”

Virgil snorted, and his son turned to look at him with an inquisitive look on his face, and Virgil patted his hand placatingly. “Brotherly love at its finest. What do you want us to do?” 

“One of you take DC out to breakfast tomorrow. Tell him whatever you need to get him out of the house. I will send Remus there, and you two will need to make sure they sit there and talk and don’t murder each other.” 

“Done and done.” 

So although the plan sounded simple, and appeared simple, it was much harder for Virgil to drag DC out of the house than previously expected. Eventually he just sighed and told him that if he didn’t get out of the house today, they were going to set up Remy’s crib in his room, and even his uncles could only stand the kid for a little while. 

Virgil sat DC down at the predetermined table, and not a minute later Remus opened the door and walked over quickly. He jumped up, and Virgil had to grab DC’s shoulders and force him to sit down. He walked over to the side of the table as Remus sat down and cleared his throat so that both of the men were looking at him, albeit that they were looking at him in confusion and extreme annoyance. 

“Alright. The four of us have decided that you two are, in fact, complete fucking morons and thus incapable of handling your own relationship!” Virgil said, ignoring Remus’s squeak of protest. “So we’re here, and I’m spending time fixing this for you, so be grateful. I’m going to go sit over there, and you two are going to talk about what happened on Saturday.” 

“But -” 

“No.” 

DC huffed, miffed. “Jesus.” 

Virgil threw his hands in the air and walked away, and DC drew circles in his coffee with his straw. “So?” 

“So I wasn’t breaking up with you,” Remus said rather bluntly. “I was trying to propose. Look, I’ve even got the ring here -” 

“Remus,” he interrupted. “How in the hell did you think that that was a decent way to propose to someone?” 

He sighed, visibly upset. “I didn’t think that much about it, honestly. I just knew that I had to get a ring and ask you to marry me and there wasn’t much in between those two points for me.” 

DC laughed aloud, startling the woman next to him. “Remus!” 

“Hey, I’ve got two braincells and both of them are dedicated to loving you with my whole heart.” Remus pulled the box out of his jacket pocket. “So… marry me? Please?” 

He reached across the table and took Remus’s hand. “Yes.” 

(Whether or not Virgil was forced to physically break them up to stop them from making out in the middle of the coffee shop is not relevant to the rest of the story, thank you very much.)

[baby-bearie]

3 AM - d.s.

it was insane. everything felt insane.

everything feels insane in the ungodly hours of the morning.

but here you both were, at 2:49 am, standing in front of andrew's house.

andrew was never a good boyfriend. no, he wasn't ever violent. but the most common pains are never physical. he hurt you. he acted like you barely even existed, ditched you for his friends or for other girls he insisted he was just friends with, and was rather possessive about who you hung out with. that was what ultimately led to your break-up. andrew was always jealous. often unrealistically, but he was jealous of daniel, your best friend. in the past, andrew had succeeded in convincing you that your friends were against you, and got you to even push a few good people out of your life. but the line was drawn when it came to daniel. so when andrew started telling you that daniel was no good for you, you instead began to question if andrew was no good for you.

funny enough, it was him who broke up with you.because he assumed that you were messing around with daniel. heated words were exchanged, and he called it. you were upset from the fight, but subconsciously relieved because you had begun to realize that andrew was the real problem.

but that didn't mean you weren't heartbroken. it still hurt as much as any other break-up. so you went to your best friend, daniel.

at 8 pm, you were at his house. the second he saw your blotchy cheeks and red nose at his door his expression changed from confusion to concern.

"hey, hey, whoa. why are you crying?" he tugged you into his apartment and closed the door behind.

"a-andrew broke up with me." you reached up to wipe away your tears.

"oh, god. what a dick." daniel ran a hand through his hair.

daniel might have seemed averagely calm to the untrained eye, but you had known him for too long. the way his foot began tapping as if he needed to do something, the tiny bit of extra force with which he threw up his hands. he was angry.

"yeah, i know. it's okay, im okay."

"c'mon let's get your mind off it."

and daniel had really tried to force you to forget. the two of you baked, binged and bawled. well, you bawled and daniel sat there comforting you, hating andrew with a passion.

at about 11pm, you decided you might as well stay the night at daniel's since you were gonna be back tomorrow morning for more moral support.

however, at 12:30 am you were still awake, lying on daniel's bed. daniel had, as usual, insisted you have the bed and he went to sleep on the couch. but judging by the shuffling noises coming from the living room, he wasn't asleep either. you laid awake for a little longer until finally drifting off at 12:57.

at 2:09, your eyes snapped open. your feeling of restlessness from the night was replaced with a subtle anger. you felt the need to punch a wall and scream-cry. you wanted to even the playing field. you barely hesitated to question the feeling before tiptoeing down the hall to the couch, where daniel sprawled. he laid on his back, his long limbs were awkwardly sprawled out over the couch.

you lightly nudged his shoulder, causing him to shift his position, almost slapping you as he did.

"dani. daniel, wake up."

daniel's eyes fluttered open to you hovering above him, brows furrowed and hair spilling over your shoulders.

he groaned a bit. "(y/n), what time is it?"

his voice was groggy, and your heart beat a bit faster.

you ignored that.

you looked up to see the clock and looked back down at him, smiling sympathetically. "2 am."

"2 am?!" daniel groaned, turning back into the couch to sleep, rolling into his blanket.

"daniiii, come on!" you whined, trying and failing to roll him back over. when you got no response, you grabbed the blanket and yanked it out from under him. the boy inside tumbled out onto the carpet and you stood above him.

"c'mon. let's go."

"where?"

"anywhere."

at 2:20 am, daniel had not been expecting to be climbing into the driver seat of his car. this was one of many surprises that night.

the first was, of course, (y/n) showing up at his apartment with blotchy cheeks, crying about her pathetic excuse of a boyfriend.

the second was the hurt he felt for her, the need to take away her pain, to make the hurt stop.

the third surprise of the night was the anger he slowly built up. the anger that anyone could treat her the way andrew did. daniel was such a calm person, so why the sudden urge to smack down andrew?

all these emotions overwhelmed daniel, who was growing more and more awake as he drove (y/n) around aimlessly, hoping she'd tell him what was going on.

but the fourth surprise happened in the morning, at 2:34 am when daniel glanced over at (y/n) to see her leaning her head on the window, smiling gently. the moonlight barely illuminated her as it reflected off the window and daniel felt one of the biggest surprises of his life.

he was in love with his best friend.

taking a few deep breaths, daniel ripped his eyes off the girl next to him and set them back on the road ahead. clearing his throat he asked for the fourth time.

"where are we going?"

"turn left."

he turned.

"(y/n) seriously, wh"-

"turn left again."

"wait a second are we"-

"turn right."

(y/n) went to get out of the car, but daniel was quick to lock the doors.

"what are we doing here?" daniel turned to look at you and you turned away, failing to notice the slight change in the way he looked at you.

"andrew's going to have what he deserves."

"god, (y/n), have you thought this out at all?" daniel threw his head back, covering his face with his hands.

"of course i have, that's why there's eggs in the backseat."

"huh- what?" daniel whipped around in his seat, craning over to see two cases of eggs sitting in the back seat. he turned back to you, who was smiling as you reached over him to unlock the doors.

"let's go, you big baby."

daniel groaned but stepped out of the car, reaching into the back to get the egg cases.

you both stood on the lawn. he held the eggs above your head when you reached for them.

"before i give you these, are you entirely sure that you want to do this?"

you rolled your eyes at him.

"yes, mom. i hate how tall you are."

he smiled and handed you an egg case. the two of you turned to face the large face of the house.

and now here you were, standing in front of andrew's house at 2:49 am, with a boy who you knew would do anything for you.

"you get the front and i'll get the sides." he whispered.

and he was gone.

at 2:56 am, you both stood in front on your masterpiece, admiring it.

"he always was an egghead." you whispered.

daniel chuckled at that.

he turned to face you as you scanned the house for missed spots.

2:57 am

"dani, stop staring, it's creepy." you spoke without even looking at him.

he smiled at the ground, shaking his head.

you laughed and took his hand, pulling him towards the car.

2:58 am

you sat in the car, but daniel wasn't preparing to back out. you waited patiently, looking out the window at the streetlights.

2:59 am

"(y/n)."

"yeah?" you turned to look at daniel and the sight almost startled you.

his eyes sparkled with a new intensity you'd never seen. he was barely a couple inches away from you and you could feel his breath dust your face.

daniels eyes searched yours for any signs of you stopping, of you not wanting this, but you seemed to lean in a bit more.

3 am

daniel's lips met yours and you melted. it was one moment that seemed to stretch into millions. if love poems and love songs were a moment, this was that moment. you could feel him smiling into the kiss and you smiled back.

a light flicked on.

you and daniel jerked apart, wide eyes looking up at the house. the top window was open, and bright light flooded out.

"hey! you! hey!"

you and daniel looked at each other.

3:01 am

"DRIVE, YOU IDIOT, DRIVE!"

tags: @seaveyssparkle @splendidseavey @xowhyxodontxowexo @cloudsncoffee