#i am not angry anymore
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Mentioned I was non binary during a conversation earlier this week. Someone I've loved my whole life, who claims to love me, looked me in the eye, face screwed up with disgust, and said, 'You have mental problems - you know that, right?'
You can only see how little their love is worth when you refuse to be what they want you to be.
I will not be bullied into silence. I will not conform.
Why should I be uncomfortable for the sake of their comfort, when they feel free to insult and invalidate me openly, even smugly?
No. No. No. I won't.
To every single person who thinks they get to decide who the fuck I am - or who anyone else is, for that matter - Go. Fuck. Yourselves.
And to anyone else who's facing this kind of bullshit - Don't let them tell you you're the problem. You aren't. They are.
#nonbinary#I am still angry but I'm not crawling out of my skin with it anymore at least#I amaze myself how little I've sworn in this post#gender discourse
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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Can I just say?
Yes, Carlos does perhaps open the radio a lot and- to do what?
To complain if someone is doing what he thinks might be a move against the rules (like everyone else).
To discuss strategies (like everyone else).
To give his opinion and ask the team for a change in strategies (like some other people).
To sing with his race engineer after a victory (like some other people).
To complain when the outcome of a decision is not right (as he did or did not expect, but still, like everyone else).
To say that he’s alright after a nasty crash (like everyone else).
He does use the radio a lot, but he uses it for the right motifs, so yes- Sky Italia, he doesn’t open the radio for other reasons than the one written right here, which makes a big difference.
#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#honestly honestly honestly#he doesn’t open the radio to swear#to swear and get angry at his race engineer#or to say how he is being mistreated#he NEVER once said he is being mistreated by Ferrari even though it is as clear as day he has and he still is#(you know announcing your replacemnt an entire season in advance IS being mistreated)#and yet he is the one getting hate too#I just can’t I am sorry but I can’t stand anything about this anymore
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"you guys are celebrating a murder" yes, I am aware?? 🤨 that's literally The Whole Point
#''you're idolizing a MURDERER'' yep sure am 👍 and good for him tbh#if the uhc ceo killer came to me right now and needed a place to stay#i would not only hide him forever but also suck his dick every day amen#uhc ceo#united healthcare#the people trying to moral grand stand about this are so clearly missing the point it's not even funny#OBVIOUSLY the murder is tragic and killing people is wrong#but the murder of brian thompson was also calculated and planned#it wasn't spontaneous or a result of angry lashing out#it was meticulous and clearly targeted#and we all know why#we're latching onto the shooter because he's the current embodiment of a poor and exhausted working class#no one wants to sit back and take this anymore#the shooting was a symptom of the larger problem -- namely the gross wealth disparity in america#instead of condemning the action maybe y'all should condemn the years and years and YEARS of suffering—#that the working class has been through to make a man feel like something this extreme was necessary
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If you’re anything like me and you’re feeling hopeless about the state of the world, you probably want to scroll social media or distract yourself from it. Or you know curl up and cry.
I want you to take a deep breath. And I want you to pick one way you can help.
And I want you to work on it with all of the hate and anger and pain you have and I want you to change it.
There is so much happening and so much we can do it’s overwhelming. But if we all just picked one thing. And pressed
#human rights#Palestine#I am going to punch through my projects the way I want to punch certain people#I’m not running anyway from that anger anymore. it’s a good thing. we deserve to be angry. I’m using it to fuel me#activism
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I wish more people were normal about POC, and specifically black, characters in the MCYT fandom. I mean, for obvious reasons related to CCs and all that, but also bc I often feel like I’m doing something wrong because sometimes I’m one of the only people I know how is getting like? Stimming flappy arms excited about my favourite black characters? It’s not like I’m singling them out either I get the exact same way about my favourite non black characters?
It’s jarring to get into skyjacks and see almost equal amounts of art of Jonnit as everyone else because I’ve been in this weirdly passively racist fandom for so long. People are so weird about like CANON (silly canon but) biggri and they make them weirdly toxic when they were so sweet. If it was Scar and Grian you people would be all over it. And dude fucking whatever happened to the way people drew Ponk. And, it’s not even just black ccs and characters. Don’t get me started on the way a lot of Dteam fans back in the day (and still some qsmp fans) talk about Asian women like Tina.
#obv if you’re black your input is more important than mine#this is just important to me because a lot of my favourite characters and CCs are black and this fandom treats them like crap#and obviously??? because black people matter generally??? even if I wasn’t really into their content I still would be upset#I don’t watch tina! I don’t watch p0nk anymore! I can still feel angry about this!#and you should be too#sorry including Tina in there makes this flow weird she’s Asian oops#sorry I am. so tired
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“Answer these two questions! Where is the Op-Op Fruit and where is Law?”
+ Doflamingo's reaction to finding out Law ate the Op-Op Fruit and that Law is "with the Navy"
Donquixote Doflamingo (ONE PIECE #706)
#one piece#opgraphics#donquixote doflamingo#doflamingo#doflamingo one piece#op doflamingo#op doffy#doffy#doflamingo gif#one piece gifs#onepiecegraphics#opgifs#fizzy's gifs#insert the “I re-watched ep 706 and got my heart broken again and all I got for it were these damned gifs” meme here#he looks so funny when he's angry#i say that when i'm safe behind the screen#who am I kidding I'd defecate myself in front of doffy#i was cheering though#younger brother outsmarting the older brother I was like “YEAAAAH ROSIII!🥳🥳🥳🥳”#both the donquixote brothers are compulsive liars and I love that for them#i will single handedly feed the doffy fandom with red suit doffy#i have been forged in the snow of minion island nothing hurts me anymore#pls don't make me watch 706 again pls 😭😭😭😭 I cried for 30 minutes
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Hey remember when Baghera adopted Dapper like 8 months ago or did I make that up ? ────────────────────────────────────────── Support all the admins that spoke out (& do your daily click) ──────────────────────────────────────────
#idk why on earth i gave baghera knuckles- when i say i turn my brain off when I draw i mean it#..... sooo looks like ive got a new wa-cats type of fandom on my hands#as in i am still very emotionally attached to the memories i have from this no matter what i do itll keep coming back#but i havent read the books in several years nor do i plan to anymore and looking back i am so angry and disgusted#but also im still blown away by the creativity and the passion the fandom builds on its own#i wanted to go ahead and finish any art that ive been working on for the past almost year and decided this one would be the most fitting#i learnt last week that only the first 20 tags on an original post will show up in tumblr searches#and I think im going to take advantage of that#because i dont want to hype the server anymore and i have decided i will no longer be adding my watermark on top of my work#and i was going to refrain from tagging it because i dont want my related posts to show up#before remembering that some of my mutuals who ive been chatting to for years now#have these fandoms blacklisted#so im going to test it and hope it works#im still going to tag the characters i love though because i wanna show support to the actors and i wish them nothing but the best#baghera fanart#pomme fanart#dapper fanart#dappleduo#my art#qsmp#mcyt#fandom neg#tag this however you want#yap yap yap yap tlddr
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I just don't understand how my mom had me, her oldest and first child, raised me for 18 years (kind of?), and then chose some guy she barely knows and is objectively terrible over me and kicked me out unexpectedly after telling me I'm no longer a part of her family and all my childhood trauma (that HER at the time husband caused) was my fault. And now she's banned me from seeing my siblings that I RAISED (because she wasn't able to at the time.), she refused to answer my phone calls or texts when I was in the hospital, terrified, crying and begging her to come help or support me because I was completely alone in the hospital in the worst pain in my life and just wanted my mom, and on top of everything, made it clear I'm not invited to family thanksgiving. I don't understand. How is she even able to do that. I don't need her, I'm an adult, but I'm still her child. I don't think I'll ever understand.
#i'll delete this later#but i would really appreciate some kind words or support or blorbo/pet photos right now /nf#i'm just really sad and really angry#maybe i'm just being dramatic or selfish#after all i am an adult. i dont need my mom anymore.#but it still hurts#i can do it without her. but it sucks she doesn't even want me at the family thanksgiving for ONE day.#i miss my siblings#tw vent
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I know I've said something similar before but like.
People are all "uwu we shouldn't let kids do hormone blockers or have surgeries because children can't consent to that!" and like. Aside from the fact that no one is doing gender affirming procedures on kids.
I would be willing to bet my left tit that these are the EXACT same fucks who would have given me shit from middle to high school and into college about getting laser hair removal, about my voice change from a soprano to an alto (not severe but noticeable, as I was a singer), who said I should amputate my healthy stomach so I could be more thin and "ladylike", who gave me ENDLESS shit for my body hair, including facial hair, who demanded I shave and pluck and squeeze myself into clothes and an image that didn't fit me and who ENCOURAGED me to take medications and have procedures that would permanently alter (and in the case of weight loss surgery? Damage, most likely) my body to fit what THEY thought I should be.
All because I have PCOS. My body is not what people expect of a cis woman's body.
Gee. It's almost like it has nothing to do with kids not consenting, and EVERYTHING to do with these chucklefucks wanting to deny trans kids access to life-saving care AND wanting to force intersex kids into medical treatment that they, by their own logic, cannot consent to.
But that's all fine when they're making us intersex folks "normal", huh?
#queer#trans#intersex#yeah the more I learn about PCOS and being intersex#the more parts of my own experience make a lot of sense#and the more fucking ANGRY i get about it#like I am someone who is actively transitioning to have a non-normative body#and someone who also has ALWAYS had a non-normative body in a lot of ways#and im just#a little absolutely fucking livid#transphobia#exorsexism#fucking FUCK#and like I'm not cis anymore#but i fucking WAS i was a girl for most of my life#and this shit impacted me a lot more than I thought in hindsight
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Boy who broke my heart, I hope life is kinder to your daughters than you were to me
#lilac rambles#his wedding is at the end of this month and i am...Feeling Things#i wonder if she knows about me. the girl he always went to when his heart broke. who he flirted shamelessly with for years but never thought#was worthy of anything more than that.#did he think i wasn't pretty enough? was i too sad? too angry? too raw? too imperfect and human and messy?#why was i something to string along when he was lonely and never someone who counted?#i don't even want him anymore. why do i feel this way still?#lilac's silver springs chronicles
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To the illiterate people with 0 reading comprehension that I have seen on tik tok today claiming that Maven deserved Mare, that it was stupid and "unfair" that he didn't get her, and that clearly with his trauma and what his mother did to him he deserved her:
I would just like to issue a sincere Fuck You to you and any future illiterate children you produce.
#red queen#glass sword#kings cage#war storm#it took so so much will power not to ANNIHILATE them#I swear#books like SJM and rebecca Yarrow and others like them are PROMOTING THIS BULLSHIT THINKING#I am going to scream#I literally cannot be apart of the reading community anymore if these are the thoughts people are having#this is utterly ridiculous#tell me you didn't pay attention in middle school english class without telling me#tell me you lack reading comprehension without telling me#tell me you lack basic human brain power without telling me#i'm old and I am angry#this is just ridiculous now#must we cycle though the same stupid rhetoric over and over again?#dear lord#If I hear one more person say he “deserved” her#I'm going to push them in front of a bus
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#mom asked me to cook breakfast so I made the usual but for some reason it's too salty apparently#(it doesnt)#so now she's telling me that I'm a failure followed by a bunch of sermon on why I should leave my job and get married to a girl and#shave my beard and don't eat anymore so I can actually be happy and not useless#(apparently I'm not happy now) and also says thank you mockingly. Great mom#what a fun trip#also ive been telling them can we go to this specific shop i wanna see if i can find cheaper steam deck there and they all start getting#angry on me on how selfish i am for just asking that#and how i dont care about my mom because my mom isnt interested on used game stores#like what the fuck#i paid all of the tickets for her here why the fuck am i not allowed to go to where i want#pissing me off#i wanna go homeeeeee#honestly im not excited about this trip no more i just wanna go home and just go back to work and then at night i draw and play ffxiv#the only one excited i have is disneyland on the last day but i can think of several ways they ruin it too#my mom definitely will be like im tiredd go find a chair and so i have to wait for her#i hate this trip
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you know as a neurodivergent person I only have two fucking requests of anyone I consider a friend: 1) do not cold shoulder or get aggressively angry with me for something you didn't bother to communicate you had a problem with and 2) do not fucking infantalize me and treat me like a naive fragile broken child who is a burden on everyone in my life. shouldn't be too hard right??? insane how many neurotypicals are fucking incapable of doing the bare fucking minimum
#literally the only prerequisites i have for someone to be my friend#like if I love you legitimately everything else is a non issue. it doesn't even occur to me to get mad#and it's not even in a “sigh i will look past this for you” way. genuinely there's very little you can do to bother me if you're my friend#ill just assume you had good intentions#because i trust that you wouldn't intentionally hurt me if you're my friend so getting angry is pointless#but i genuinely don't know how to handle it when people i care about get mad at me. it scares the shit out of me#ugh i can't explain what i mean#but god some people really just don't give a shit once they dont need me anymore huh#it's the way they go out of their way to make me feel like a helpless 13 year old who can't do anything right again#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#i swear if you manage to lose ME as a friend 9 times out of 10 there's smth seriously wrong with you#because i virtually have no standards and will put up with everything#and am the person who cares too much in almost every relationship in my life
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is allowing yourself to feel resentment Part Of The Process
#resentment is a strong word maybe idk.#but like. kinda angry kinda disappointed. kinda wanna pull back - not in an avoidant way but a ‘idk if this is smart anymore’ way?#should i be encouraging that. or shutting that down.#it feels ugly and i don’t enjoy it and my instinct is to make it go away. but i really am trying to let myself have emotions lately so idk.#(NOT ABT ANYONE ON TUMBLR. no one be anxious.)#izzy.txt
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